Cooking with Steamy Julia (by Robin)

Summary:  Cooking isn’t the only thing happening in the kitchen, and elsewhere.

Rating:  M  (715 words)

Author’s Note:  The REALLY Losts are satires of the series written with much affection, eye rolling,  and winks.  And can be somewhat risque’.

Cooking with Steamy Julia
 A REALLY Lost Episode

 

Introduction:

 

This episode was almost too hot to handle. All four of the Cartwrights fell in love with the same attractive woman who was famous for her steamy, show business exploits. It was even implied that one of them might have had a past “interlude” with her.

 

“Steaming?” Julia asked looking at Adam Cartwright sitting opposite her.

 

He longed for her touch but was afraid to ask. He wanted her to knead him like a lump of raw dough. “Yes, steaming.” His eyes looked deeply into hers. “There are many different types of steamers. Examples include pasta cookers, stackable steamers, collapsible steamer baskets, fish poachers and even a simple device such as a roasting pan with a rack.”

 

“Could you pass the bread, Adam?” She eyed an appealingly long dark crusty baguette. “You know so much. You are so worldly!” she gasped at the wealth of steamy knowledge the darkly handsome cowboy had. “Did you learn all this steamy stuff? In Boston?”

“Where else?” Adam sighed eyeing the tall woman hungrily. “Have you ever been to Boston, Julia?”

“Boston? I lived there for many years, in Cambridge. It was steamy in the summer,” Julia confessed, fanning herself with her checkered napkin.

 

“Steamy!” Adam agreed fighting to retain his control near this steamy woman. Adam wished they had met years earlier when he was at Back East University. He could have made Julia his and his alone.

 

“Steamy?” Not to be out done by his older brother, Little Joe leaped to his feet and grabbed Julia’s soft hand. His eyes shined with steamy excitement. He could smell her perfume, a spicy blend of cinnamon and nutmeg that aroused Joe’s desire. “A colander is a good substitute for a vegetable steamer!”

 

“You need to make sure the colander fits in the pot with the cover on,” Ben added in a voice that rumbled into her nether regions. Ben wanted Julia’s womanly attentions too. He may have been their father, but he was going to compete with the younger men for this luscious woman.

Julia stared at the handsome, silver haired cattle baron. She tried to decide if Ben’s eyes were the brown of bitter sweet chocolate or the brown of freshly ground Kona coffee. His silver hair reminder her of a swoosh of whipped cream garnishing a wonderful hunk of tender apple dumplings.

“A whole fish should take about 15 to 20 minutes to steam,” Hoss said. His heart pounded in his broad chest. He too longed for Julia, a full figured woman.

 

“What kind of fish?” Julia said licking her lips. She fanned herself with a big spatula.

 

“I love scrod,” Hoss said. He liked steamed fish too.

“Scrod?” Julia’s heart pounded in her bosom as she thought of scrod. The thought of scrod and Hoss in one sentence was almost more than Julia could bear. Her face flushed beet red and her heart pounded.

“Scrod,” Hoss moaned at the thought of scrod and Julia. The thought of scrod and Julia in one sentence was almost more than Hoss could bear. His face flushed beet red and his heart pounded.

“Another way to steam foods is to use four chopsticks and wok. Place the chopsticks in the wok, forming a pattern like a tic-tac-toe diagram. Put a glass pan on the chopsticks, put the meat in the pan, cover and steam.” said Hop Sing as he poured steaming hot coffee. He too wanted Julia but knew that it was a forbidden love. Hop Sing may have been the cook on the Ponderosa, but he was a man first. He would slice and dice any one or anything that kept him from Julia.

 

Little Joe was young, and not quite innocent. Julia could teach him many steamy things. Although she might have been old enough to be his mother, Joe longed for her more than he had longed for any woman since the last time he longed for a woman.

 

“My mother was from New Orleans. She spoke French too,” Joe sighed.

 

“Bon Appetite!” Julia Child toasted. She looked directly into the camera and said, “I am Julia Child and THIS is the French Chef!”

*****End*****

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Author: profrobinw

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