SUMMARY:  This started with a pinecone and has been expanded to have all four of the family members involved in conversations with another about love.  Each learns and passes on that wisdom.

rating = T  word count = 2219

Speaking of Love

The Love v. Indifference Lesson

Because every negative comment and every instruction irritated him, Little Joe Cartwright decided to take a stand and confronted his oldest brother. “You hate me.”

“I do not hate you.”

“Yes, you do. All you do is complain and tell me what to do and then tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

“I do that because I care. If I didn’t care, I would ignore you.”

“You mean like leave me alone?”

“Yes, that’s about what it would be.”

“That doesn’t sound bad at all. Show me. Leave me alone.”

“If that’s what you want.”

“It’s what I want.”

“So you don’t want me telling you to do anything or talking to you about anything or giving you instructions about how to do anything at all?”

“Nothing. I want you to leave me all alone. I don’t need you at all.”

For two days, Adam completely ignored his six-year old brother until Little Joe couldn’t take it any more. He rushed into Adam’s arms and cried.

“Adam, please yell at me. Please tell me what I’m doing wrong. Don’t ‘nore me any more.”

“If that’s what you want.”

“Ya, it’s what I want, but can you do it?”

“Yes, it’s what I want, but am I able to do it?”

“You want it too? That’s even better. I’m pretty sure I can do it too if you can. Let’s go out to the stable and do our chores. You can show me what to do.”

Ben had witnessed the whole encounter after observing the two and their icy indifference for two days. He didn’t know what had started it. To himself, he only muttered a quiet complaint. ‘Tarnation! Sons! I should have had daughters!’ He didn’t know that the discussions about love in the future were going to be far more complex and more difficult to resolve.

Ben and Adam Talk About Love

With a gentle smile born of understanding and long tradition, Ben walked down the stairs and took a seat in the blue chair as Adam sat and stared into the fireplace at what was mostly glowing embers. Licks of flame still climbed at times but quickly diminished. Fire or embers didn’t matter because Ben knew Adam needed something on which to focus his eyes as his mind focused on whatever it was that bothered him. There wasn’t much need to guess however for his son’s latest romantic entanglement left him alternately almost giddy with enthusiasm and then surly and moody. To Ben, that was evidence the woman was not the right match and suspected his son was reaching that conclusion too. When Adam finally talked though, it wasn’t about his relationship.
“Pa, when you met Marie, how did you know you could have a good marriage? You two were so different.”
Again, Ben found reason to smile as he reflected on his third wife. “Yes, we were different as you say. There were many who never understood how we ever came to be married, but she brought excitement and joy into my life, and I brought stability and security into hers. Most of all, we wanted each other to be happy and were willing to do what was necessary so that could be true.”
“She was willing to give up living in a city to move out here?”
“She was more than willing to do that although I’m not sure she knew how much of a change that was going to be, but she found ways here to adapt and be happy. She redecorated the house and brought all sorts of changes to our home if you remember.”
“Yes, it was kind of a whirlwind at first.”
“I imagine to you that it was, but to me it was excitement. It made everything fresh again. We were very different but fit together like the two parts of a puzzle.”
“I remember Inger too. Once she told me that she had dreamed of being a wife and mother and was so happy to be going with us. It was such an adventure for her.”
Both were quiet as they thought about how tragically that had ended but also remembered Inger’s bright smile and how she had helped both of them regain joy in living. Then Ben knew he should complete the story.
“Your mother and I shared a dream of coming out here to find these mountains and tall trees.” Inclining his head, Ben’s smile faded as he regarded his son and his dark eyes. “I get the feeling that this conversation has to do with what she expects of you.” They both knew to whom Ben was referring.
“She wants me to move to San Francisco. There are all sorts of ideas she has about what I could do there and how we could live.”
“You have talked about those kinds of possibilities.”
“It’s different when someone starts planning them for you.”
“Do you love her?”
“I thought I was falling in love with her, but now, I’m not sure.”
“Some love is just a lie of the soul, a constant battle for the ultimate state of control. It’s not wise to let that kind of love bind you.”
“I guess you’ve hit the target dead center. I do feel bound.” Silent for several minutes, Adam stood and finished banking the fire. “Thanks, I can sleep now. I know what to do.”

Watching his son climb the stairs, Ben felt a bit torn for he wished his son to find a partner but knew she had to be someone who could help him and not hinder him. He prayed Adam would find her, and he smiled a bit as he realized he wished it would be soon too. Life would be so much simpler if he could entrust his sons to fine women. A few weeks later, another son was in emotional turmoil because of a woman. Ben decided he wasn’t the right person to deal with that issue.

A Brother’s Counsel on Love Lost

Probably the last person Joe wanted to see was the one who hooked the leg of a chair with a boot and then sat down without asking if he was welcome to do so. That was about what Joe expected though after he had walked away from work he was supposed to be doing and ended up in a saloon in the middle of the afternoon. However, he wasn’t about to listen to a lecture or go home with him because there was at least a half bottle of misery he had left to put down. Then the first words he heard weren’t at all what he expected. Adam pointed at the bottle.

“Willing to share?”

Doing a good impersonation of his oldest brother and masking his feelings, he acted as if he wasn’t at all concerned that Adam was there. “It’s your choice.”

Crooking his finger at a saloon girl, Adam pantomimed drinking so that she would bring a glass to him. When she did, he poured himself a generous amount and drank down about half. When Adam said nothing, Joe couldn’t maintain the facade though and had to ask.

“I must really be in trouble if you need that much to talk to me.”

“Not trouble in the usual sense.”

“Huh?”

“Woman trouble.”

“Oh, yeah.”

Dropping his head, Joe sighed and then finished off what was left in his glass and reached for the bottle. Adam beat him to it refilling his glass before pouring for Joe.

“I’ve lost her, Adam.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“I suppose I should talk to Pa. He knows all about losses.”

“Better to talk to me.”

“Why?” After pausing to think and waiting for an answer from Adam that never came, he answered his question. “You’ve both loved and lost.”

“Yes, but Pa lost the treasure he already had.”

Both were quiet and sipped their drinks watching the others in the saloon. Men flirted with saloon girls, bragged about exploits, complained about almost anything, and seemed to be living quite normal lives. Joe expected some comment from Adam about what they were seeing but got something else entirely.

“Sorrow like Pa has is not being able to show your love to the one you cherish. But with sorrow, you have the memories and the hope of one day being reunited. But what do you have when your love died before it was ever allowed to grow? Some love is just a lie of the heart, the cold remains of what began with a passionate start.”

“How do you get over it and forget them, Adam?”

“You don’t.”

“What?”

“You can’t. The wounds heal, but the scars are there. You move on and hope the next one will be true.”

“I suppose we should head home now.”

“Nope.”

“Nope?”

“You see, this is where you’re lucky it’s me and not Pa. He would likely say at this point that we should head home because there’s work to be done, and some good fresh air and hard work will clear the air.”

“But not you?”

“No, I think we’ve got a bottle we could finish. Then maybe dinner, and after that, we find two ladies who wouldn’t mind our company for a bit.”

Joe grinned. “I vote for dinner and ladies!”

Adam’s work was done.

Joe and Hoss Talk About Love

If you wanted love, you had to take risks, and Joe was willing to take the chance of being hurt again because someday he wanted a woman’s true love as much as his oldest brother did. Their middle brother was more sensitive than either of them though and was brought down low by the betrayal of the one he wanted to marry when she fell for the charming words of another. Taking his cue from Adam, Joe got Hoss to agree to go to town guessing that sitting at a table sharing a few beers would give them a chance to open up about what had happened. When Hoss drank and stared, and then he drank and stared at what was happening around him and still said nothing, Joe decided he would have to open the conversation. Not being as experienced in love as much as his father and oldest brother, he went with a more basic philosophy.

“The closer you get to the fire, the more you get burned.”

“Huh? What you talkin’ ’bout, Joe?”

“I’m talking about you.”

“Where’s the fire?”

“I was talking about you and women.”

“Why didn’t ya say so then?”

“I was trying to make a point.”

“If ya was trying ta make a point about me and women, then why was ya talkin’ ’bout fire?”

“Because being with women is like being with fire. You can get burned. We’ve all been burned.”

“It ain’t the same for me as it is with you and with Adam.”

“Sure, it is. We get burned too just like you were.”

“But then, right away, you especially, have another gal all lined up. I’ve been with you and I been with Adam when we walk down the streets here. Women stare and sometimes come up to talk. They ain’t staring and talking to me. It’s a lot harder for me.”

Although Joe wanted to deny what his brother had said, he couldn’t. Too much of it was true as far as he could determine. They sat quietly for a time sipping their beer. Both were thinking, but Joe was the first to speak.

“So me and Adam get hurt more often because we end up in relationships with women based on looks and action. It’s not as meaningful as it should be so when we find out more about each other, it all fall apart.”

Pursing his lips and frowning a bit, Hoss thought about what Joe had said. “So you’re saying I’m better off because a woman who’s interested in me is interested in who I really am instead of flashy things like looks and fancy clothes. She sees inta me and likes what she sees?”

“Yes, that’s it. You’re the luckiest one.”

“Don’t feel so lucky right ’bout now.”

“No, but if she’s taken up with another man, that means there’s something wrong with her. She saw into you and knew how good you were. If she took up with a scoundrel after that, then there’s something terribly wrong with her and you’re better off without her. It’s not wise to want to be with a woman like that.”

“Well, that does make me feel some better. You sounded a bit like Pa right there. So what do I do now?”

“Well, we could have some more beer or we could have dinner and find some ladies who wouldn’t mind our company for a bit.”

“Dang, that sounds almost like something Adam might say.”

“Really? I just thought of it right now.”

“Good, let’s have one more beer, and then do them other things.”

“Great, that’s a plan, and I like having a plan.”

“Joe, how’d you get so smart?”

“I dunno. Maybe it’s the beer.”

Tags:  Adam Cartwright, Ben Cartwright, Family, Hoss Cartwright, Joe / Little Joe Cartwright