Indiscretion (by pbeaking)

Summary: Nine year old Hoss Cartwright wants so very much to excel in school like his older brother, particularly when it comes to math. The pressure he puts on himself to achieve leads him to an act of indiscretion. Can he ever make things right again?

Rating:  K+  WC  4900

Indiscretion

Hoss Cartwright construed his face up attempting to produce an answer. “I know I know this one… I know I know this one,” he repeated to himself. “What did Adam tell me to remember?”

As hard as he tried, the space below the math problem he was working on remained blank. Finally, he set his pencil down in frustration and rested his head on the palm of his hand. He glanced over at his 15 year old brother working diligently away at his schoolwork. Adam always did well in school and Hoss so wished to be like him. He made it look easy and he understood everything so quickly.

Adam and Pa will be so disappointed if I don’t do good,” Hoss silently told himself. Once again his eyes stared down at the blank sheet before him. Another 5 minutes passed with no change.

“Students taking their math exam have five more minutes to complete their work,” Mr. Darley, the schoolteacher, announced in his usual deep baritone.

Hoss’s head shot up quickly at hearing those words and his stomach turned upside down. The next few moments seemed like a blur. Upon returning his eyes to his own paper, Hoss inadvertently glanced over at his neighbor’s test. The number “27” was clearly written in the blank space below the problem that Hoss could not figure out. He chewed for a moment on his lower lip and kept his eyes down before quickly deciding to write in what his eyes had seen.

He still had two more problems unanswered, so he once again chanced peeking at his neighbor’s work. “42” and “68” jumped right off the page at him. He copied those answers down as well, just as the teacher asked them to set their pencils down.

“Susan, will you collect the papers please?” Mr. Darley asked the girl sitting next to Hoss.

“Yes, Mr. Darley,” She politely answered, then nudged Hoss with her elbow. He scooted to the edge of the bench and stood up to allow her access to the aisle. That’s when Mr. Darley addressed him.

“Hoss, I would like you to remain in class at the lunch hour.” Hoss’s head snapped up as he looked wide eyed at his teacher. Mr. Darley stared back at him; his face showing no emotion. Hoss swallowed hard and somehow he found his voice to answer a soft, “Yes, sir.” He then sat down rather stunned. Adam looked over at his little brother trying to get his attention. Hoss hung his head and fought back the tears. He knew he was in big trouble.

The morning seemed to drag on and finally the lunch hour came. Mr. Darley dismissed the class promptly and all students vacated the one room schoolhouse, leaving teacher and student alone. There was a long silence before Mr. Darley spoke.

“Hoss, please step forward to my desk.” Hoss arose carefully. His stomach churned and his knees felt weak as he walked up to his teacher. Mr. Darley studied the boy. Guilt was written all over his face. He cleared his throat and leaned his elbows on his desk. “Well, judging by your behavior, young man, I do not think I need to ask you if you were looking at Susan’s paper this morning.” Hoss’s head remained hung as tears started to well in his eyes.

The teacher heaved a huge sigh before continuing. “I must say this rather disappoints me, Eric. I never would have thought of you as a cheater.”

Just hearing those words broke Hoss’s heart. The tears started flowing down his cheeks uncontrollably. “I….I… didn’t mean to look, honest, Mr. Darley. I couldn’t remember what Adam told me to do…. I just couldn’t. I … I only looked at the last three problems, honest. I did the rest on my own. I’ve never cheated before and I won’t cheat again… I promise. Please give me another chance… please.”

Mr. Darley pulled Hoss’s math paper from the pile and studied his work. The first part of the test was near perfect. Hoss had only missed one out of the first ten problems. Then it had gone down hill from there. Seven of the last ten problems were wrong. Again, Mr. Darley heaved a huge sigh. He knew Hoss was honest as the day was long. If he said he only looked at the last three problems, then he only looked at the last three problems.

“You do know that you need to be punished for your actions?” Hoss swallowed hard and nodded, keeping his eyes locked on the knothole near his feet. He had never gotten into trouble at school before, but he had heard of Mr. Darley’s means of punishment from the other boys.

Mr. Darley took his pen and dipped it in the ink. He then wrote failure across the top of Hoss’s paper before arising and stepping around his desk. Hoss stood rigid as the man placed his hand on his chin and forced him to look upward at him.

“You will take this math test home with you today and tell your father about your indiscretion. He is to write a note back to me acknowledging that you have done as I wished. You will have extra math homework this evening to complete and I expect a written note of apology. Everything is due on my desk first thing tomorrow morning. It is then I will decide whether to allow you the opportunity to make up your grade on this test. Understood?”

Hoss softly answered, “Yes, sir,” as tears fell down his cheeks. He had never been so embarrassed for his actions. Mr. Darley could sense the boy’s remorse. Normally, these discussions were ended with the student face down across the front of his desk.

Mr. Darley’s eyes scanned over to the wall where the switch was kept. He then glanced back at Hoss who now stood staring up at him wide eyed and fearful. Mr. Darley rested his hand on the boy’s shoulder and firmly stated,

“You are free to leave when you feel ready to do so, young man.”

Hoss accepted the math paper from his teacher and walked back to his desk to put the paper with his math book. He sat down for a moment to gather his thoughts as the tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

Mr. Darley returned to his desk and began pulling out his own lunch. Hoss wasn’t in the least bit hungry. He eyed the door of the school house knowing full well that Adam was anxiously waiting for him outside. He decided to just remain in his seat for the remainder of the lunch hour and avoid his brother’s questions until after school.

It was a very long afternoon for both Adam and Hoss. Mr. Darley kept calling on Hoss to answer questions and read aloud. Adam knew something was wrong, but he couldn’t even get Hoss to look at him and was reprimanded twice himself for not paying attention in class. Finally the school day ended and Hoss gathered his things and quickly headed for the door.

Adam caught up with him in the school yard. “Hoss… Hoss… what is going on here? What happened between you and Mr. Darley?”

Hoss turned on his brother and snapped, “It’s none of your business, Adam. If he wanted you to know, he would have asked you to stay in at lunch, too.” Then he turned and started walking towards home.

Adam blinked in surprise. Hoss never pushed him away when he had a problem. He swiftly caught up with his brother who was walking with head down. “Hoss, what happened?” Hoss stopped and turned to Adam with an angry glare. Adam retracted. “Okay, okay…. you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want. I was just trying to help you.” Adam then turned his brother in the direction of home. The two walked silently side by side for quite some time before Hoss finally spoke.

“Adam, I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, okay?” Adam smiled down at his little brother, but said nothing. He could tell his brother was pondering his thoughts. “It’s not that I want to keep anything from you, Adam. It’s just… well… I can’t tell you. At least not now…”

Hoss was too embarrassed to tell his brother what happened. Little did his older brother know the burden of guilt he was carrying. Hoss felt that he had really let Adam down. Adam had tried so hard to help him and he just couldn’t show his math paper to him with the word failure written across the top. Suddenly his thoughts shifted. He had been so worried about Adam that he hadn’t thought much about what his father’s reaction would be… Adam looked down and saw tears welling in his brother’s eyes. He put his arm around him as the two walked into the yard.

Hoss looked up to find his father relaxing on the porch reading the paper. He stood up in greeting as the boys approached. It didn’t take much fatherly instinct to realize that something was troubling his sons.

“So how was school?” He cautiously asked. “Okay, Pa. We had a lot of work to do and Hoss had that math test today.”

Hoss cringed at those words. “Pa. I….I…. need to talk to you alone.” Ben eyed Adam and Adam just shrugged his shoulders.

“All Right, son. We’ll sit down after supper and you can tell me what is troubling you.”

“I…I’d rather talk now, Pa. I don’t think it can wait until after supper.”

“Very well son.” He then turned to Adam. “Adam would you mind bringing my horse into the barn and brushing him down?”

Adam simply nodded and set his books down on the bench before turning towards the barn.

Hoss and Ben watched him go.

There was a long period of silence before Hoss swallowed hard and slid the math paper out of his book.

“Pa… I did a bad thing today that I know you will be angry at me for… I didn’t mean for it to happen… it just happened.”

He then handed the paper over to his Pa. Ben Cartwright unfolded it and read the words on the page. His brow furrowed.

“I don’t understand, Hoss. Some of your answers are correct. Why would your teacher mark it as failure?”

Hoss started to cry and Ben reached out and enveloped the young boy in his arms. “What is it son…. what is it?”

“I…I… cheated, pa…. I cheated on the last three problems and Mr. Darley saw me.” Hoss buried his head into his Pa’s stomach. “I didn’t want to disappoint Adam. I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted you to be proud of me… I just couldn’t remember what Adam taught me…”

Ben allowed his son to release all his pent up emotions before pulling him away from his chest and squaring Hoss to face him.

Ben looked once again at the math paper. I must say I’m a little surprised…. and very disappointed in you Eric.

Hoss sniffed and chanced a glance up at his father. He could see the anger in his eyes and immediately looked down. “I only copied the last three problems, Pa…”

There was a long pause before Ben spoke. “That still does not make it right, does it son?” Hoss just shook his head as more tears fell.

“What did Mr. Darley say to you?”

“He told me I had to explain my indi… indis…”

“Indiscretion?” Ben questioned

Hoss nodded.“He told me that I had to tell you what I did and have you write a note to him proving that I did tell you. I also have extra math work tonight and I have to write a letter of apology. Then he’ll decide if I can take the test again.”

Ben eyed his son carefully. “Is that all that happened with Mr. Darley?”

Hoss knew what his Pa was asking. “Yes, Pa. I think he figured you’d take care of the rest.”

“Yes, that I intend to do very shortly, young man.” Hoss gulped. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been spanked by his father and just the thought of it brought on another wave of tears.

“You best wait for me in your room.”

Hoss looked up at his father cautiously. “I’m sorry I disappointed you, Pa,” he then muttered softly, “And I’m sorry I’m not as smart as Adam,” before turning away and heading towards his room.

Ben immediately reached out and pulled Hoss back towards him. He knelt down and looked deep into his son’s eyes.

“Hoss, I want you to listen to me very carefully. Yes, I am disappointed in your actions today, but I will never be disappointed in you as a person. I have been blessed with three wonderful sons; sons that I am so very proud of in every way. I don’t expect you to be like Adam and in all fairness I don’t expect Adam to be like you. You are each individuals with your own personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. I don’t want you to waste your time trying to be your brother. Instead, I want you to remember to always be yourself; focus on just your being you.”

Hoss glanced over towards the barn and saw his brother returning. “I’ll try, Pa. I really will. “

“Good boy,” Ben said, as he turned his son towards the house.

Adam approached as Hoss disappeared inside. “Is everything okay, Pa.?” he questioned.

“No, Adam. Your brother had quite a day I’m afraid.”

Adam nodded and then hesitated slightly before asking, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Ben knew the boy was trying to find out what had happened.

“Yes, Adam I believe you can, but I think Hoss should tell you himself what happened. Right now I’m going to ask you to start your chores. I need to have a little discussion with your brother.”

Adam winced at hearing those words.

“I’m sure by this evening he’ll have had some time to think about what happened and want your help.”

Adam said nothing and walked back towards the barn. Ben heaved a sigh as he turned towards the house. This was the only part about being a father that he truly hated.

*************************************

That evening at dinner, Hoss was very quiet. He sat gingerly on the chair and picked at his food. He had not spoken to Adam since returning home and he kept shifting his eyes nervously up towards him. The table was very quiet with the exception of Marie and Ben commenting about young Joseph’s infectious giggle. Just the sound of it made everyone chuckle, except for poor Hoss. His attention was focused on his plate. He knew he would not be excused unless he ate enough to satisfy his father. He nibbled for what seemed like an eternity before cautiously asking, “Can I be excused now, Pa?” Ben eyed the boy’s plate and replied, “Yes, I know you have a lot of work to do, but remember Hop Sing will not be making a late night sandwich should your stomach change its mind.”

“Yes, sir,” Hoss replied simply before arising and heading towards the stairs. Adam broke the silence between brothers by asking, “Do you want some help with your homework?” Hoss paused and swallowed hard before softly saying, “No, Adam. I want to do it myself.” He then ran quickly up the stairs.

Adam immediately glanced up at his pa in question. Ben could see the hurt in his eyes but stayed firm in his belief that Hoss needed to tell Adam himself what had happened.

“I can assure you that you did nothing wrong, Adam. Just let your brother be for now. He has some extra work for Mr. Darley and I’m sure he’ll explain things to you in the morning.”

Adam only bowed his head and nodded to acknowledge his father’s words. “Can I be excused now, too pa?”

Ben eyed his son for a long moment. “Yes, you may go, but let your brother come to you, agreed?”

Adam simply nodded and solemnly arose. Ben watched him until he disappeared upstairs. He then bowed his head in thought.

The room was silent for just a moment before young Joseph let out one of his infectious giggles. This made his father look up and let out a loud chuckle.

“I think he’s trying to tell his father not to worry,” Marie stated through soft laughter as she handed the squirming Joseph over to his father. Ben propped his son up in his lap and turned him to face him.

“Well, like they always say, Joseph, the best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.”

Ben paused to bounce his youngest son up and down on his knee. Joseph responded with another giggle and a great big smile. Ben reached down and poked him gently in the nose.

“And I do believe it is time for a certain young man to be put to bed.”

Marie arose and accepted Joseph from his father. She smiled at her husband before turning up the stairs to put Joseph to bed.

********************

The next morning, Ben found his way to Hoss’s room. He rapped softly before entering and found his son still in bed already awake.

“Morning, son,” Ben greeted him.

“Morning, pa. Is it time to get up?”

Ben simply nodded and Hoss threw back the covers and sat up on the edge of his bed. The boy looked tired and concerned.

“Did you get everything ready for Mr. Darley?”

Hoss let out a big yawn and answered, “Yes, Pa.” then he looked up at his father with sadness in his eyes. “Do you think he’ll let me take the test again?”

Ben sat down next to his son and put his arm around him. “Well, I can’t answer for your teacher, but I can give you some advice. Just be honest with him and apologize sincerely, and accept whatever Mr. Darley decides. You’ve done everything he’s asked of you and that’s all that matters.”

Hoss arose slowly from the bed and inadvertently rubbed his bottom on his way to his desk.

“Do you want to read my apology note, pa?”

Ben smiled at his son. “No, I’m sure you were sincere enough. I also have my note for Mr. Darley waiting for you on my desk.”

Ben arose and walked towards the door. “Get yourself dressed now and try not to worry, son.” His father paused for a long moment before adding,

“You know Adam was pretty concerned about you yesterday…”

“You didn’t tell him did you pa?” Hoss looked up in alarm.

“No, son. I felt he needed to hear it from you.”

Hoss hung his head and Ben felt he had said all that needed to be said.

“Now, get yourself dressed and come downstairs for breakfast. I’m sure today will be a better day.”

His father didn’t wait for a reply and stepped out of the room. Hoss stared at that closed door for a long moment. He had settled things with his pa, or rather his pa had settled things with him. He was hoping to settle things with Mr. Darley once he reached school. But what about Adam? His mind flashed back to the night before last when Adam worked with him for almost two hours on his math problems. He then stayed up late himself to finish his own homework. He quizzed him on the way to school that morning and gave him all the “good testing” advice he could offer. He even gave him a lucky rabbit’s foot to put in his pocket during the test.

“A whole lot of good that did me,” Hoss thought.

With that in mind, Hoss came up with only one solution. “I can’t, Pa. I just can’t,” he softly uttered, before turning his attention to the day ahead.

It was a quiet walk to school that morning. Adam tried to initiate conversation with his brother, but Hoss only responded with simple answers that didn’t allow for further response. Adam could see the note written in his father’s hand sticking out of Hoss’ math book along with several pages of math done by his brother. Part of him wanted to just grab hold of that book and run off with the answers he so desired, but the more reasonable side of Adam kept hearing his father’s voice, “Let your brother come to you.”

When they arrived at school, Hoss immediately entered the schoolhouse. Adam watched him walk up the stairs like a rabbit walking straight into a lion’s den. Hoss peered around the corner from the coat room at his teacher. Mr. Darley sat at his desk sipping a morning cup of coffee. He looked like he was going over the history test he had given the graduating students the other day. A board suddenly creaked on which Hoss was standing and that made Mr. Darley look up.

“Ah, Mr. Cartwright, I’ve been expecting you.”

Hoss eased himself around the wall and walked toward his teacher’s desk.

He removed his father’s letter from his book and handed it to his teacher. Mr. Darley opened it and read what was written.

“Do you have your extra homework and apology as well?” he inquired.

“Yes, sir. I had a little problem with some of those math problems, but I did them all myself without any help.”

“I see…” Mr. Darley muttered as his eyes scanned over the assignment and then the note of apology.

The room fell silent for several moments and Hoss felt his stomach start to churn. He looked up at his teacher and found the courage to speak.

“Mr. Darley, sir. I’d… I’d like another chance at that math test sir. I… promise I won’t cheat. You can even give it to me at lunch with no one else here. I’ll… I’ll never do it again. I promise. I’m not a cheater. I… didn’t mean to look…I”

Hoss couldn’t contain his emotions anymore as the tears started to fall.

Mr. Darley just stared at him with cold unrelenting eyes.

“Give me one good reason as to why I should do that, Mr. Cartwright?”

Hoss sucked in a deep breath. “Well, my pa told me to be honest with you. You see, I not only disappointed my pa and you with my indi…. indis…”

“Indiscretion,” Mr. Darley corrected.

“Yeah, that,” Hoss agreed. I disappointed my brother, too, except he doesn’t know it yet.”

“This isn’t the time for games,” Mr. Darley snapped.

“No sir. You see Adam helped me study for two hours the night before. He even stayed up late to finish his own work so that he could help me. I didn’t tell him what happened because I just couldn’t show him that paper with failure on it. Don’t you see? He’d think he had failed, too.”

Hoss reached up and used his sleeve to wipe his nose. The room fell silent as he waited to hear his teacher’s verdict.

Mr. Darley leaned back in his chair in thought. He had already decided to allow Hoss the opportunity for a retest, but he wanted to make sure this experience had left an impression on him and would not be repeated. He also was well aware of how much Hoss admired Adam and how hard he strived to match his educational achievements.

“Eric,” Mr. Darley began as he straightened up in his chair.

“I’ve decided to let you make up your test… at your lunch hour if you so wish.”

Hoss’ face lit up at the news. “Thank you, sir. Thank you!” He spun on his heels and started eagerly heading outside, but was stopped cold by a loud clearing of the throat coming from his teacher.

“Oh!” Hoss spun around immediately. “I’m sorry sir. May I be excused?”

Mr. Darley stared coldly at him for a long moment before providing a simple nod as an answer. Hoss turned and walked quietly out of the school house leaving his teacher stifling a laugh at his departure.

Hoss stayed in for lunch and re-took his test. He struggled but made it through. The rest of the afternoon seemed long as he wondered when he would find out the results. Just as Mr. Darley was getting ready to dismiss the children for the day, he made an announcement.

“I have finished grading the math tests from the other day. Would those students please rise.”

Hoss’s stomach turned. Should he stand with the others or would his grade come later. He glanced over at his brother who motioned for him to stand with the others and gave him a thumbs up for encouragement. Hoss arose slowly.

“I must say that I’m a little disappointed in some of your grades. Those students, who received a grade of C, or lower, will remain after school for an added math lesson and extra practice.”

Hoss felt his knees growing weak as Mr. Darley started his usual procedure in announcing students’ grades as he handed them their test papers.

“Jessica Walters, B-, Timothy Parker, C, Jeffrey Allen, A, Bonnie Smith, C-, Jonathon Walker, B, Elizabeth Joseph A+, Donald Watts, D, Eric Cartwright…”

Hoss looked up at Mr. Darley as he approached.

“B+.”

Hoss eagerly accepted his test from his teacher with a huge smile. Mr. Darley paused briefly to add,

“I’m glad to see the improvement, Mr. Cartwright,” before dismissing the class for the day.

Hoss was congratulated immediately outside by a very enthusiastic brother. “Pa is going to be so proud of you, Hoss. I told you that you could do it if you’d just set your mind to it.”

Hoss felt the excitement drain out of him in an instant as a wave of guilt took over him.

“Adam… I have something to tell you.”

Adam paid no mind to his brother’s statement. “I think you should wait until we are all at the table tonight and surprise Pa and Marie. We can pretend that you didn’t do well again and then show him your paper.”

“Adam…” Hoss tried again.

“See, it pays off to listen to your brother sometimes…”

“Adam… Stop it!” Hoss bellowed. “I don’t’ care about that stupid old math test! I have something to tell you if you’d just shut your jaw for moment and listen.”

Adam stopped walking and turned towards his brother in surprise. Hoss stood rigid with tears in his eyes. His fists were clenched, not out of anger but frustration.

“Adam… I… I have to tell you something. I should have told you yesterday, but I just couldn’t do it.”

Adam had never seen his brother so upset. “What is it, Hoss. I’ll listen.”

“I… I cheated.”

“You what!? You just wait ‘til pa hears about this.”

“No, Adam. Not on this test, but on the one I took yesterday… and believe me pa already knows about it.”

“But Hoss, this is the test you took yesterday,” Adam responded indignantly.

Hoss hung his head and sucked in a big breath. “No it’s not, Adam. I cheated on that one and Mr. Darley caught me. He sent a note home and I had to do extra work and write a letter of apology. This morning we talked about it and he allowed me a chance to take the test again at lunch.”

Hoss looked up at his brother. “I’m sorry, Adam. I knew you’d be disappointed in me if you found out. I didn’t want you to think you… you failed.”

Adam smiled down at his brother understandingly. He reached out and gave Hoss’s shoulder a slight squeeze.

“You know something, no matter how much I help you with your work, I could never feel like I failed. I’m not the one taking the test… you are. Pa and I could quiz you for hours, but when it comes right down to the test itself, it has to come from you, not us.”

Hoss thought about his brother’s words for a long moment.

“I never thought about that way, but I guess you’re right. I did take that test myself.”

“You sure did, brother and look at the results!”

Hoss’s face lit up as he stared down at his grade.

He then jubilantly announced, “Come on, Adam. I can’t wait to show pa,” before he took off running at full speed.

Adam deliberately watched him for a moment, giving him a head start before jogging to catch up with him. Tonight there’d be cause for celebration in the Cartwright household.

 

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

Loading

Bookmark (0)
ClosePlease login

No account yet? Register

Author: pbeaking

2 thoughts on “Indiscretion (by pbeaking)

  1. very touching story with very wise words and a big taste of honesty. THanks for this great moment of childhood.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.