Summary: Little Joe learns a lesson the hard way.

A Chaps and Spurs inspired story.

Rating: K+  Word Count: 1, 371

 

 

A Prickly Problem

“Only you, little brother. Only you would—”

“Yow!”

“—get yourself in a mess like this.”

“Will you please stop saying that? I heard you—ouch!—fine the first time.” I groused. I contemplated glaring, but decided against it. After all, my brother stood behind me and the look would only go unnoticed; instead, I settled for crossing my arms over my chest, though that proved to be quite a challenge since I was bent over the arm of Pa’s red, leather chair.

Pain rushed through me and I shifted in an attempt to escape it.

“Stop squirming.”

“I can’t help it.”

“Try to. I’m having a hard enough time pulling these things out as it is without having to hold you in place while I do it.”

“Oh, why couldn’t Hoss be the one to do this?” I murmured, rather loudly, to myself.

“You’d have to wait another four hours. He’s out riding fence in the north pasture and won’t be back until supper time, so I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, Little Buddy—youch!” A sadistic smile tugged at the corners of my mouth as I heard him mutter some choice words under his breath that would have earned him a tanning if our father had heard them. “Those blasted things are sharp!”

“Yeah, well, imagine having dozens of them stuck in your a—aaah! Watch what you’re doin’!”

“Sorry, that one was deeper than I thought it would be.”

“Ya don’t say.” An unexpected smack to the back of my head left me mewling in agony.

“Joe, I swear if you don’t stop being difficult, I’ll leave the rest of these things in your hide and let you tell Pa what you’ve been up to when he gets back from Sacramento.”

“Fine, I’ll be good.” He made a disbelieving noise in the back of his throat and I rolled my eyes.

“I’ll believe that when I see it. Only you–”

“Yes! I already know! I, Joseph Francis Cartwright, am the only person in the whole wide world who could possibly manage to get thrown from a bucking bronco and land in the only cactus growing in the ranch yard! Now, can we please have a little less talking and a little more plucking? Thank you.” For a moment, the only sound that filled the room was the soft plink as spine after spine was removed from my poor skin and dropped into one of Hop Sing’s mixing bowls.

Suddenly, the pulling stopped and I craned my neck around just in time to see a worried look cross my oldest brother’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know about this, Joe; the rest of these are in there good and deep. Maybe I should send one of the hands to town to fetch Paul—”

“No!” The exclamation burst out of me. Taking a calming breath, I shook my head. “No, Adam, he’d tell Pa what happened for sure, and then where would I be? Please, don’t do that; I have complete faith in you.” A ghost of a smile touched his lips and mischief danced in his light-brown eyes.

“You just don’t want to tell Pa about trying to bust a bronc—which he has strictly forbidden you from attempting until you’re older—, do you?” The guilt must have shown on my face for he chuckled at me. “I thought as much.”

“What Pa doesn’t know won’t hurt ‘im.” I said, lowering my gaze.

“Joseph…”

“Fine, it was a bet. If I stayed on the stallion’s back for a minute, I would have won fifty bucks.”

“Joe, you know what Pa thinks about such things…”

“It was just a bet with the hands! Besides, I needed the cash to pay off my…” I hesitated, but Adam wasn’t being quite so patient as he usually was.

“Go on.”

“I needed it to pay off a debt from a poker game.”

“Oh, Joe, you know what Pa will say when he finds out.”

I hung my head in shame. “Yes, and I’ll probably be spending the rest of the month standing instead of sitting down after he gives me a good thrashing.” He placed a warm hand on my shoulder and I took a modicum of comfort from his touch.

“You’ll most likely be doing that anyway, with your backside in the shape that it is…. You could have come to me and asked for a loan. You know I would have gladly given it to you, right?” I nodded; I knew he would have, but I didn’t want to be beholding to anyone, much less my brother. “Besides, you’re fifteen-years-old. Pa would skin you alive if he found out that you’ve been gambling. You know, the quickest way to double your money is—”

“—to fold it over and put it back into my pocket, I know. So, you’re not gonna tell him ’bout it?” I asked, my voice sounded small and vulnerable even to my own ears.

Adam sighed.“I guess not. But if I ever hear of you gambling at your age again, I’ll tan your hide myself, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now, this next one is in a, uh, delicate spot so it’s going to hurt like the devil.”

Unfolding my arms, I braced myself against the other side of the chair and gritted my teeth.

“Just do it.” Instantly, a sharp, burning sensation had me screaming like a little girl.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Hot tears made their way down my cheeks, dampening the leather seat.

The rest of the ordeal passed by in a blur of agony as Adam removed the last of the barbs and, after I managed to lower my pants, he swabbed the puncture wounds with alcohol to keep infection at bay. “There, all finished. Do you think you can move, or do you need help?” I moaned, feeling quite like a boned fish. “Here.” He slid his hands up under my armpits and hoisted me to my feet. I quickly hitched my pants back into place, wincing as the torn material brushed against my injured flesh.

It was slow going, but we eventually managed to make it up the stairs and to my bedroom. I let out a breath of relief that I didn’t know I had been holding, allowed my older brother to help me into a nightshirt, and then slid onto my bed—lying on top of the covers.

“Thanks, Adam.” I mumbled against my pillow and he reached over and ruffled my hair, something he hadn’t done since I was ten-years-old.

“You’re welcome, kid. Do you want me to come get you when supper’s ready?”

The thought of sitting in a wooden chair to eat the evening meal made my stomach flip and my face turn a peculiar shade of green. “No, thanks, I think I’ll pass.”

“Well, if you’re sure, I’ll see you in the morning. Oh, and Joe?” I peered up at him. “Next time you decide to bust a bronc, make sure there isn’t a cactus nearby.”

“I think that cholla near the corral looks worse off than I do.” I commented, giving him a half grin.

“Any plant would be after having you fall in it. Do me a favor and try to stay out of trouble, all right? If you don’t, I might pitch you back into that cactus myself!” With a growl, I tossed my pillow at him, but Adam chose that moment to step out into the hallway, effectively avoiding the flying projectile.

“I’ll get you for that, as—ouch!” I cried when I accidentally aggravated my torn skin. I could hear Adam laughing as he walked further and further away from my bedroom.

“In you’re dreams, Joe. In your dreams!”

~Finis~

Story note: If you’ve never seen a cylindropuntia bigelovii, otherwise known as the “Teddy Bear Cholla” or the “Jumping Cactus”, you should look them up. Those are some mean looking plants!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

Tags:  Adam Cartwright, JAM, Joe / Little Joe Cartwright, SJS