The words I had were : soldier, tinker, explosion, cottage, wildfire

Summary:  It happens after the family had been deeply touched by pain and sorrow. What can adults do and say to help children to cope with ?

Word Count:  5691   Rated:  K+

Grief is Hard Work

The little boy escaped from his father’s arms and ran towards the big box who had been put in the barn. It was an important day, maybe the most important day of his whole young life. Today for the very first time he was allowed to choose one toy in the mysterious big secret box. He was very excited.

« Pa, I take this one »…

-oh, you chose this one, it is a very special one. I’ll tell you the story of that soldier. That soldier was given to me by…. » answered Joe when his youngest son asked him about the toy.

-by grandpa ? , the little boy interrupted him.

-not exactly son, I’ll tell you. »

At the end of the day, Little Joe and his family sat down close to a firecamp, it was during their hollidays. Little Joe started to tell them about the story of the small soldier.

**************Flashback

Ben pulled back gently on the reins and Buck came to a standstill. He dismounted and started to walk, still holding the rope. In front of him, there was the deep blue Lake Tahoe. This was a view he would never be tired of.
A deep sense of sadness filled him. As he had done the day before, he walked towards the wooden cross that marked Marie’s grave. For a moment Ben’s eyes rested on the cross that marked the place where his wife was buried. She had been gone from them for nearly six months now, but sometimes he still felt lost without his love and the mother of his youngest son. He tried to imagine what she would say to him now : “The ones we love never truly leave us…”. Yes, they would always be with them in their heart, but it would never be the same.
Ben sighed deeply and turned his eyes back to the lake and mountains. It was his land, it belonged to him, he was responsible for that land, there was so much to be done. He had several orders to be fulfilled, he had thousands of numbers in his mind, and it was hard to stay concentrated.
********
« Why do I have to wash my hair ? Why ? No, I don’t… no no, no, I won’t. No ; no; you can’t make me… no, Little Joe, no want… »
Little Joe couldn’t breath, he was yelling, and crying, and he was trying to push Adam, Adam was trying to drag him, to carry him, but it was impossible. The little boy had so much tension inside him, it was impossible to push him. Once again, there had been a sudden explosion as Ben had told about taking a bath. Ben was exhausted, he had explained, he had threatened, he had tried to soften his voice but Little Joe didn’t want to obey.
For the last time, Hoss had had an idea. He has put water into a bucket and had thrown it to Little Joe’s face. It had calmed him immediately and they had managed to put a clean pyjama on him…
Later that evening, after the dinner, Ben decided to go out. He opened the door and walked onto the porch, with a cup of coffee in his hand. Once again it had been a hard day, a very hard day. Not only because of the hard work and the chores, no, it was because once again Little Joe had had a very hard time. The night was clear and calm and he started to look at the sky, at the stars, wishing he would be able to find the one who had now his dear Marie living on it. Marie loved looking at the stars, it was romantic, she always said. Right now, Ben was looking up at them in hope, like they could give him a few answers in hard times of his life. He was sad, his boys were sad, the stones from the ranch were sad; and the stars were a refuge, far away but still there every night.
**************the day after
Adam was in the yard of the ranch, he was doing the chores his father had given him before leaving. He did extra chores from sun up till sun down. It was called grief work because finding a way through grief was hard work, and you couldn’t put it off, like a messy chore, because it would sit there waiting to be done. Hard work helped him, he had the sensation, he had power over all sorts of feelings that hit him like waves, sorrow, anger, emptiness, anxiety,  pain, guilt, profound loss.. He had that « lump in his throat”, and that inability to talk… There were less and less talkings at the Ponderosa. There were humans who were not seen to
cry; who were holding their grief inside.

***************
A man rode up. Adam put his hammer, stopped working on the fence and looked up. “Hi, Mr. What can I do for you ?
The man said, “I’m looking for Ben Cartwright.”
“He’s my father, but he’s away on a trip right now. Can I help you with something?”
“My name is Tinker, Rick Tinker. I’m the assistant of Franck, the telegrapher.
“I’m Adam. Nice to meet you. Would you like some coffee?”
Rick shook his head « No thanks, I just want to ask you, if you can give him that ».
-Sure, I’ll give him ».
Adam took the paper and put it in his pocket. The man thanked Adam, waved him. His horse broke into a trot. Adam finished his chores and went into the barn for washing his hands and his face.
***********after school, at the end of the afternoon
« C-O-T-T-A-G-E, cottage ».
Adam nodded, it was correct. He was glad, his strategie was working. Adam had decided to give his little brother a pre-test. When Little Joe brought home his list of spelling words. Adam didn’t have him copy the words or sentences, he had noticed that it was easier to learn how to spell the words by visualizing them in their minds, not by copying them.

************at the evening
Ben and Adam were bent over the table, examinating the damage to the fishing rod, they wanted to try to fix it. Adam had given the telegram to his father; the message told about the future visite of Aunt Amelia. She would travel with the train.

“Papa,” Josef’s voice broke the silence of the room.
“Yes, Sweetheart,” he turned his attention to him.

“What ya doin’?” he sat up.

« your brother and I were just trying to see how we can repair your fishing rod. »

“Is everything all right?”, Adam asked, while keeping his eyes on the broken rod.

“Yea,” the child nodded. “‘Cept Hoss hurt my bottom.”

“Hurt your bottom?” Adam was surprised. “How did it happen, and why ? ”

“ERIC CARTWRIGHT ,” Ben’s unmistakable voice Ben looked to the door and shouted.

“I’ll get him,”, Joe replied but his father frowned at him.

« No need for that, your brother knows that he has to come when I call him ». And nothing was more true. Hoss pushed the door and came in :

« you called me, Pa ?

“Eric, did you swat your brother?” he accused.

Hoss nodded, he didn’t want to hide what he had done.

« Why did you do that ? You know, you’re not allowed to touch him ».

Hoss blue eyes looked towards the ground. He knew he was in big big trouble.
« He tried to bite me, look at my arm ». The bite hadn’t broken the skin, but it had left a welt and bruise on the 12 years-old boy’s arm.
Ben put his hands on his hips and glanced at his youngest, severely :
«Joe, how could you ?
Ben lifted the little boy’s chin, “I asked you a question, Joseph, why did you bite your brother ? ” he asked sternly.
Little Joe hesitated.
« Because… he … wanted… me… to clean… the barn, and… I didn’t… want …. to do it. Why he said that, why ? Little Joe don’t want to clean. Why you say that….  »
Ben knew, the next minutes would be very hard so he raised his voice :

«Joseph, STOP…. »

He knelt down and grabbed Little Joe’s arm and looked at him sternly :

« Look at me, little boy… Are you allowed to bit somebody when you’re frustrated because things don’t go the way you want ?
– No, pa.

-Correct answer, young fellow. You are never allowed to bit anybody. What are you supposed to do when you’re frustrated ?

– Count… to…. seven and take several breath. », the boy answered, trying to hide his bottom against the wall, he knew, his father could land two or three swats to his small backside.
-I’m glad to see, you remember what I’ve told you the last time we had that same conversation, because we’ve already talked about it, havent we ?

-yes sir ».

“Biting someone is not acceptable. It’s wrong, and you’re supposed to be grown enough to know that. Or am I wrong ? »
***********
The boy was sent to his bedroom, Ben didn’t punish him more than making him write six times « I can’t bite my brother when I’m angry ». Ben wanted to believe, the message would go into his boy’s mind, without having to print it on his bottom, something he didn’t want to do. Ben didn’t like disciplining his boy, but deep inside he knew he had to do his father job, even if all he wanted to do, was to protect his boy from sorrow and pain. Life had been cruel with his children and he hadn’t been able to prevent them for suffering. He knew, he hadn’t that power, he just wished, he could have had it.
*********the day after Ben climbed the stairs and went to knock on the door of Joe’s room. He fully expected the boy to be sleeping. Instead, he found that the little boy hadn’t noticed his presence yet and he was able to listen to the heart to heart conversation he was having with his teddy bear.

“ I wish Mama would come back,” he said on the verge of a fresh set of tears.  “I just wished there was somebody for me to play with.”
Ben listened to his son’s words and felt his own heart grow heavy at the emotion displayed.  His little boy was hurting. Ben was even sadder that his son was still so upset over Marie’s death.
Ben coughed to alert his presence in the room. Little Joe was startled at first that somebody else was in the room. He looked up and saw that it was his father, but the tears couldn’t be hidden.
“Little Joe,” Ben started to say. He sat beside his son on the bed and was greeted by the boy wrapping his thin little arms around his broad chest and burying his head in his embrace and crying.
“I just want somebody to play with, Pa,” the little boy sobbed. Ben had to fight back tears of his own at his son’s obvious distress. He rarely thought about there not being many children for Joe to associate with. With the running of the ranch keeping him busy from sunrise to sunset, he had no time for his youngest son.
“I’ll try and put it right son,” Ben said softly. “I promise, please don’t cry.”

« I’m sorry, daddy, I didn’t mean it, sorry, I was mean with Hoss.

« As far as I’m concerned, you have been punished. Now, lets start with a fresh slate and breakfast, I’m starving.”

“After you finish your chores this morning, I want you to spend a couple hours reviewing your school work.”  “You’ll soon go back to school and I want you to be ready, so don’t give me any argument.”

Ben was satisfied, that would keep his mischievous son out of trouble for most of the morning.
As Little Joe got up to leave the table, he added. “I want you to clean the chicken coop this morning when you’re done with your other chores.  Then come in and then you’ll start your studying.”
The look Little Joe gave him would have made Ben chuckle under other circumstances.  “You want me to clean out that old chicken coop and study?  All in the same day? But why ? I can’t ? I don’t want to do work. No, no work. That’s enough. ” Little Joe exclaimed and started his litany before being stopped by his father :
“It won’t kill you.  Just make sure you have it done by the time I get home this afternoon. Understand?”
Little Joe once again began to push the pancake around his plate. “Yes…sir.” He sighed.
Ben smiled at the sight of his son’s bowed head. “See you later. Be good. I go to town, I’m gonna catch Aunt Amelia. She will arrive today ».
That was the content of the telegram Ben had read, after having get it from Adam. Amelia was Marie’s sister and she wanted to be with them, she hadn’t been able to come earlier.
**********a few hours later, in the ranch.

«We could have had this knife, if you wouldn’t have lost the money ».

As he was about to open the door of the ranch, Ben clearly heard the voice of his middle son. He had waited for his sister-in-law to be in the couch, but apparently she had been delayed as he had found it by reading a new telegram in town. Now he was back at the ranch and he didn’t like the content of the message he just had caught. He nearly tripped over his own two feet. He pushed the door and walked in. He didn’t remove his jacket and walked quickly towards his son.

« What in heavens name are you doing?” Ben said sternly.

Hoss jumped as he heard his father yelling but he was petrified, unable to answer. Ben added :

«You’d better tell me the whole story ! What’s the meaning of that? Knife ? Money ?

– Pa, this is for school, » Hoss replied.

-FOR SCHOOL ? Are you making fun of me ?, Ben answered sharply.

-Pa, that’s the truth. The teacher gave us some sentences to be read. It’s like an enigma. We have to guess, let me show you. First question : do we got the knife ? Do we got some money ? »

Ben was relieved and he immediately felt sorry for having yelled and suspected his middle son. He came close to his son and tossled his hairs.

« I’m really sorry I yelled at you, I was being really unfair. I was wrong. »

******the day after
As Ben went out of the ranch, he caught sight of his son in the distance being lectured by Peter, the ranch hand. The young rascal was standing up to him, crossing his little arms over his little waistcoat and trying to stare back defiantly at the adult.

*****the scene Ben couldn’t hear :
Peter looked at him sternly.

“Who do you think you’re trying to intimidate, short shanks !»
********
«How could you do such a thing ? Is that how you obey adults? I’m very disappointed in you. I told you “No riding a pony on your own. So you wait until I’m looking the other way to get on the pony’s back. And not only do you get on the pony’s back but you have to try doing acrobatics, you could have broken your neck, foolhardy boy”, Peter added before sending him to the ranch with three taps on his backside, making the dust rise from his trousers. Little Joe’s eyes filled with tears and he began to cry, the child looked shocked and walked off without a murmur. He stopped dead as he saw his daddy coming towards him

*******back to Ben’s point of view
Something must have happened, he had witnessed the scene but hadn’t been able to hear what had been said. Ben drew his son to him and told him :

“Oh yeah, young boy, you’ve just had your bottom smacked…” Ben’s voice was firm, just a little bit sharp, slightly ironical, but he had never sounded rude nor insensitive. He wouldn’t have been able to be like that.

“What have you done ?”

He was really wondering what had happened for such a dusting of his son’s backside by Peter to be called for.

-Well…. I’ve”

Little Joe sighed but he had had no doubt that it would finish like that, he was just surprised that it had happened so quickly. He was resigned to face the music. He was in big trouble again and he was going to get it. His father’s voice was booming in the air.

“You’re not going to like it, pa… But you’ve seen, I’ve already been punished”. Joe’s had that famous malicious look! Ben couldn’t count the number of times his rascal of a son had tried to get round him with his poppy dog eyes expressive remorses and regrets. The little boy didn’t even realize that his rakish air was only making things worse for him.

“That’s for me to decide, young man. Now tell me what you’ve done”.

************
A few minutes later Little Joe found himself being lifted off the ground. And Ben went back inside the house, with his son under his arm , holding him with a firm hand. For the moment they were just the two of them; Hop Sing had left for going to town with Hoss, while Adam was working on the fences. Ben was walking briskly, well decided to settle this problem as quickly as possible. He had to at least finish what Peter had begun. Little Joe was wriggling, moaning, protesting, trying to escape, to free himself. He tried as a last resort to soften his father, maybe he would be able to win him over.

“Dad, wait, something’s gonna to fall out from my pocket”, but Ben ignored his son’s protests.

“But Pa, wait. It’s my marble, my very own lucky marble. I need it… Really”

“Don’t talk to me about marbles, you’ve perhaps lost yours but you’re not going to make me lose mine, young man. It’s too late to call on your good fairy; you’re going to have a spanking instead. And don’t worry, if your lucky marble is gonna fall out from your pocket, I’ll catch it between my knees, as I’m gonna to put you on my knees too, little rogue…”

“pa, please, don’t. Please, be inguldent…”

Ben stopped, he was close to the settee where he had decided to go to deliver the spanking.

“In… what?”.

-Inguldent, that’s when people are forgiving… Adam told me about it. You don’t know what that means ?

Ben felt like laughing but he managed to keep his face serious and severe. He didn’t want his son to think that he had managed to amuse him.

-First of all, the word is indulgent, secondly I know perfectly well what the word means, and thirdly I’ve no intention of being indulgent. Not after what you’ve just done. End of the discussion”.

-But I haven’t done anything, Pa, I just tried, but Uncle Peter, he saw me straight away.

-oh, he did? So, don’t worry, I won’t do anything to you, I’m just going to try to warm your bottom…”

-I don’t see what the difference is”, he protested trying to avoid the explosion which would soon warm his little bottom.

-I’m pleased to hear you say that; so, after all you see that I was right. I’m fed up with your cheap jokes; you’re gonna to have a spanking and that’s all there is to it.”

Ben had just sat down on the settee , having already turned his son upside down onto his lap. His hand was just going down onto his son’s backside when…

«Pa…… Pa… QUICK….. »

Ben was suddenly brought to a stop by the sound of a booming voice, somebody was panicking. He pushed away his son, who fell onto his bottom in amazement. Ben stepped to one side so as not to walk on his fingers and went in his son’s direction.

« Adam, what’s the matter? Why on earth were you shouting like that ?

– It’s because… Pa ; It’s horrible !!! There was an…. accident, explosion; or collision. The train ! »

***********later, in Carson City

-is there any survivors ?

Such was the shout that Ben made at the top of his lungs in the mainroom of the house, which seemed to be so empty and cold. He had just arrived with the town sheriff, he had told them what had happened in the train. There was chaos. Chaos in town and chaos in his mind. He had left the ranch as soon as he had been able to organise his trip. He had let Adam in charge of his two brothers, he had hugged them for a long time before entrusting them to Adam. Ben had however taken a few seconds to have a talk with Little Joe, telling them that Aunt Amelia had had an accident and that he had to go and fetch her. Little Joe had been very sad to learn what had happened, Ben had held him tightly in his arms and had asked him to be as well behaved as possible while he was away. He had no idea what he would find when he arrived , what ordeals he was going to have to face. He had given his son a note on which was written “a punishment voucher”. So that he would understand that firstly there was still something to be dealt with and secondly that any poor choices or bad behaviour during his absence wouldn’t be tolerated.

****************
Ben didn’t know how long they had been in this vast building, but one thing was sure it wasn’t the right place for happy moments. Each face they came across confirmed what he was feeling. Sometimes he came across closed doors. Where did these doors lead to ? To other places ? He didn’t know and it made him angry not to know. Curiosity killed the cat he had often been told by old women when he was a child, his father used to say that curiosity wasn’t at all a bad thing as long as you didn’t do anything reprehensible.
He was impatient to arrive at the end of that long dark corridor, it seemed to him that he had been there for hours, as if time had slowed down. He was so anxious, there was that terrible anguish inside him which was knotting his stomach. Maybe someone was going to tell him some tragic news. Oh no; not again. Ben and the sheriff were walking in silence, no one dared to speak. The old nun hadn’t managed or wanted to reassure them. Suddenly they came close to a door and they heard somebody shouting. They turned their head. What had happened ? They had heard a woman’s voice, she had called somebody, using a name.
As she saw them she came close to them, her eyes were filled with tears and her face was deformed by confusion and pain :

«I’ve just touched the face of my son, I could have slapped him. I’d told him not to take that train, he didn’t listen to me and now he’s dead”.

Affected, Ben shuddered, more than he had ever shuddered before; he stepped back as he saw the woman coming to him. He was afraid of her pain, as he had no idea what they would tell him in a few seconds.
The woman continued her way and silence came back over them. The nurse indicated to them that they had to go on. But at the same time Ben wondered how they would cope if… But deep inside his heart, he knew the answer. He was strong, or tried to be, he had seen people been close to hysteria as they had been told about the terrible news the day Marie had died.

**************

They finally reached the place, there was a kind of masking curtain. They had to go though, Ben pushed it and let the nun go first, then he and the sheriff rushed through it. It was cold and they started to shiver. The cold air sent a chill down their spine. Suddenly the nun stopped dead in front of them and fainted. Ben grabbed her in his strong arms. In the corner, there were beds and bodies. Ben called on somebody for help, another nun arrived and took care of the young lady who had fainted in his arms.

******a few minutes later. Ben looked anxiously at the body on the bed and knelt down close to her :

“Amelia”, he whispered and started to cry. He looked at his hand after he had touched the woman, there was blood on it. Ben was holding all his fears in check trying to be strong and he was fighting back his tears. Marie’s sister was alive but she had nasty cuts and bruises. Her head, her shoulder were heavily bandaged.

“Amelia”, he whispered and gently caressed her cheek :

“I’m so relieved to see you alive,” he whispered. And he smiled faintly.

– Ben”, she was exhausted.

– I’m here, don’t worry. Everything will be fine.
*******

– “She’ll be fine. It’ll scar and she won’t like that but…she’ll live. She’ll be okay. I’m the doctor here, and I’ll take care of her,
Ben shook the hand of the young man who had spoken with a calm soft voice. He knew how people could be devastated if parents, or children, wives or husband were to die. But this lady was going to live, and that was the best news of the day that he would be able to tell. He had already seen so many dead people today.

« I’ll stay with her as long as your wife will need me”.
Ben told him, the injured woman wasn’t his wife, but his sister-in-law. Ho boy, those words were so hard to pronounce. It was so hard to tell that his wife had been killed six months ago.

******a few minutes later
“You’re doing so well, just hold on a little longer. It’s going to be okay.” Ben bent down and kissed her forehead. His sister-in-law needed stitches. She was still weak right now from the loss of blood but she had no other injury, so there was good news for the doctor to give to Ben.

***************
“Serious injuries, Stitches, but Aunt Amelia is fine.” They were the only words Ben wanted to be sent to the Ponderosa.

*********
“Hey,” Ben kissed his sister-in-law on her foreheads. “How are you?”
She was fine but tired. So Ben knew, he wouldn’t stay more than a few minutes.

“Amelia, you have to sleep. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I’ve sent a telegram home, so everybody will pray for you to recover quickly. I promise, I’ll bring you back home.”

***************She had been in deep conversation, she hadn’t felt the train slowing down, but she had heard the wheels squealing, the whining of the gears and the terrible collision which had sounded like an undless explosion. She had been thrown out of her seat. She had felt someone trying to grab her, she had heard a scream, before realizing she had been the one who had screamed. Then her voice had been covered by the crash of the train, that terrible din , something she had never heard before. The crash had been severe, four of the carriages had been overturned because of the rupture of one axle, it had left at least 57 people dead and more than 23 others injured, according to the latest word from officials on the ground. Amelia had been miraculous survivor because she had taken seats in the very last carriage which had been the last damaged carriage of the whole train.

*******Amelia remembered she had screamed. That was the last thing she would ever remember about that incident before everything had become black. When she had opened her eyes, she had found herself in the hospital with dried blood on her arms, on her cheeks and on her hands. And her brother-in-law had arrived, worried and terrified but he had given her a smile to tell her everything would be fine.

*************
What a week. Clodoar Avros, the repairman, hadn’t been able to work, nobody had wanted to hire him, nobody had ever wanted him, even the spectre of death had avoided him. He’d been in fact in a train which had been destroyed but he had survived. He was desperate, he was hungry and he was exhausted, tired of saying the same old sentence “Hello, I’m Avros, the new repairman. Anything broken?” His back was broken, his neck was broken. His hands were cramped and had fresh cuts from fighting with metal and woods. He sighed in relief that this was his last job before the weekend. He walked up to the doorstep, the sound of a child crying becoming audible.

He took a deep breath then knocked on the door in three short raps. There was a long stretch of time. The sound of the upset child fell short, and the door opened.

“I-I’m Avros, the… uh, the new repairman. Anything… b-broken?”

*********
“If I come home and see that damn repairman in my house I’ll….. » and I let you imagine the end of the sentence. That was how I was welcomed in the differents place I had been. There had been a rumor spreading around here like wildfire. People don’t like me, they say, I’m a thief. It’s wrong, Mr Cartwright. It’s so wrong. I’m just a repairman, a tinker, I just want to help people and repairing broken things.

******at the end of the day
Mister Avros surprised everybody by taking his guitar during the evening meal and started to sing a few songs. It was fascinating, it was the best moment of calm the Ponderosa had ever had since Marie had been killed in this terrible accident. Ben enjoyed the pleasure of seing his sons being happy. Adam couldn’t help watching the man, he was trying to memorize how the fingers were dancing on the strings.

« Maybe somewhere there’s a someone waiting there with a smile. And maybe there’ll be someplace I can stop and rest a while. »
When it was time to go to bed, the tinker gave Joe a small Painted wooden toy soldier.
« This soldier has special powers, very special powers. Everytime you’ll in trouble, everytime you’re sad, take it. It will open the door that blocks your smile and you’ll be happy again ».
Little Joe thanked him and went to bed without complaining or protesting.

***********a week after.
When he finally came down from the loft , he found himself being greeted by a man dressed in a toy soldier’s costume.
“May I sit down close to you, Captain ? »
Joe looked up at the soldier, he was petrified with surprise.
He stared amazed and forgot to panic. Silence had fallen in the space.
-I’ve had enough. Enough of being in that box. I wanted to talk to you.

” were you sad ? ” The six-years-old boy didn’t know with which question to open, so he asked what was most urgent.

“You ask how I am ? Pretty … bad, to be honest,” admitted the toy soldier. “It’s a strange feeling for a toy, huh?” He struggled to smile. « I feel just the same as you feel. When you’re happy, I’m happy, when you’re sad, I’m sad.  But I’m just a toy, and I don’t even know why I’m sad. I don’t have a brain, just wood in my head ».

-I didn’t tell you, why. Because you wasn’t even there when it happened. So you just can’t know why.

” Yeah, so that’s why I feel terrible, My whole body hurts.” The toy soldier boy gasped.
Because the toy soldier looked like a real person, Little Joe put a hand on his forehead.

“You’re fevered!” Joe said urgently, but the toy soldier shook his head.

“Soldiers have no fever.” He said thickly, struggling to sit up. “Soldiers can’t be sick-, I feel like, I broke something in my body. When I was in the box, my head bumped on the floor and now my head is sore ».
-My ma also bumped and she broke her neck. That’s what Pa told me. And I …. »
The toy lowered his head, he stared at the floor with his eyes full of tears, trying to hold them back.
« I could have broken my neck. I was riding my poney, very fast, I wanted it to jump and I could have fallen . Peter, he saw me. He spanked me.  »
«I wanted to be like Ma. I wanted to ride fast, she rode fast and she disapeared. I want my Ma ».
This time, the toy didn’t manage to hold his tears, he let them roll down his wooden cheeks silently. He’d been touched by what the boy had told him. There was no right or wrong way to do the work of grieving. There was only one way,  and everybody had to discover it for itself. But how was it possible for children to work of grieving. .
The grief he was experiencing now was so big, nothing comparable with the grief of adults who had consciousness and words. At this moment, that loss was the worst thing that could happen to him. Grieving was like a deep wound that eventually would heal and close, but whose terrible scar would remain with him forever. Avros knew a lot about it, from time to time, it still caused pain inside him.
*****end of flashback
« So now you all know the story of this soldier, how it helped me to cope with my sorrow as my mama had died. So I let you play with it, but take good care of it, it’s a special toy ».
The little boy nodded and went to bed. He would cherish this soldier who had been so important for his father.

The End

Written for the Ponderosa Paddlewheel Poker Tournament.

My word were:  Tinker, explosion, Cottage, wild fire, soldier

Tags:  Grief