Summary:  Hoss and Joe are full of good intentions when they try to help Adam out of his desolate mood, but it is wisely said that ‘the road to Hell is paved with good intentions’.

Rating:  T  (19,870 words)

Memories of Love Series:

Memories of Love
The Future of Love
Love’s Rewards
A Time to Heal
The Unlooked for Saviour
To Rage in Heaven

Memories of Love #5 – The Unlooked for Saviour

Chapter One

Adam Cartwright was bored. This was a new experience for him, because as far as he could remember, he had never been bored in his life. There was always something to keep his attention when he had nothing particular to do. Whether it was thinking up improvements for the ranch, talking with his father, or just sitting quietly reading, he was never bored. Until now, when he found himself unable to settle to anything, nothing seemed to capture his interest and he found his mind wandering.

He walked restlessly round the house, stopping at the kitchen door to watch his wife at work, her dark hair falling about her shoulders as she moved round the room. She stopped when she saw the black clad figure leaning against the doorjamb, watching her.

“Darling? Is something wrong?” Becky asked her husband, as she saw the distracted look on his darkly handsome face.

“No, nothing,” he lied, and turned away, walking aimlessly across the parlour and going up the stairs to their bedroom. He prowled the room, until he came to the bookshelves that lined one wall. He ran a finger along the leather bound volumes as he glanced at the titles, but none of them caught his attention. He went along the landing and looked into the bedrooms of his children, where three-year-old twins, Elizabeth and Josh, and one-year-old Alice, were all sleeping peacefully.

He returned downstairs and went out of the front door. The late summer sun cast a red glow over the countryside, as it set behind the distant mountains. Adam lowered himself onto the swing seat on the porch, not moving as Becky came out and settled herself beside him. As she took his hand in hers, he turned and smiled absently at her.

“Adam, what is it? You’ve been so restless these last few weeks. What’s the matter?”

Adam wasn’t sure that he could tell his beloved wife that he was bored. She would think that he was tired of her, and nothing could be further from the truth. She was the only thing that kept him sane, a bright harbour in his sea of tedium.

Sensing that he wasn’t going to answer, Becky continued in a matter-of-fact tone. “If you don’t tell me soon, I will start imagining all kinds of terrible things. Then you will say that I have got it all wrong and you’ll have to beg my forgiveness, apologise for not telling me, and tell me anyway. So why don’t you save us both the trouble, and just tell me?”

Adam put his arm round her and kissed the top of her head. “Becky, have I told you lately that I love you?”

“Well, yes, but I don’t mind if you keep saying it.” She turned towards him, looking serious. “Adam, I mean it, what’s wrong? Please, I need to know.”

Adam looked out into the dusk, and when he spoke, his voice was so quiet that Becky had to strain to hear him. “I feel as though I have no purpose to my life.”

“Why would you feel that? You have the Ponderosa to look after, and me and your children here.”

“Yes, I know, but I have no challenge. You look after this place, and Joe and Hoss could easily manage the Ponderosa without me, though they won’t admit it. I have more money than we’ll ever need, a secure home, and a wonderful family. But I feel as though there should be more.”

“What do you mean by ‘more’?”

“I don’t know.” Adam stood, gazing out across the meadow in front of the house, then he turned to lean his back against one of the posts that surrounded the veranda, and stared down at his feet as he stuck his hands in the back pockets of his pants. “I suppose I’ve been used to working all my life for what I have, but now I don’t need to. I have fought against all this country can throw at you, and I’ve battled against men who would have taken it from us. But now…now I feel that I don’t need to fight any more. I’ve built a home and, with my family, what people jokingly call an empire. What is there left to do?” He hung his head in frustration, now that he had voiced what had been in his heart for weeks, he didn’t much like it. He knew that he should be grateful for the life he had, and he was, but it left him dissatisfied.

Adam pushed himself upright, turning away from his wife’s worried gaze. Becky watched as he walked down the steps, heading towards the barn. She stared after him for a long time, thinking that his trademark black clothing was a little too appropriate, as it matched his mood.

Inside the barn, Adam went over to Sport, a tall sorrel horse, who had been his faithful mount for more years than either of them cared to remember.

Adam put his hand on the horse’s nose and stroked him. “Hello boy. I suppose we’re both getting old, hn?”

The horse snickered, bouncing his head up and down as though in reply. Adam chuckled to himself. “Well there’s no need to agree quite so readily.”

He picked up a brush and started to work on Sport’s coat, still sleek and shiny despite his years. The action helped Adam to forget his boredom for a moment, so that by the time he had finished, he felt a little better. In the next stall, Adam ran his hand over the coat of his new mount, Fiddler, a bay gelding who reminded Adam of Sport when he was younger. He was a demanding ride, never still and constantly fidgeting, with a spirit that was never truly broken. Adam patted Fiddler’s neck absently, then he made his way back to the house. As he walked out of the barn, he thought about what he would be doing tomorrow, and the weariness settled back on his shoulders as he realised that it was the same thing that he had done yesterday, and last week, and last month.

The following day Becky joined Adam when he went to work at his family’s ranch. Since his father, Ben had married Alice and retired from the active running of the Ponderosa, Adam with Hoss and Joe, his younger brothers, had taken over.

While Adam went to visit the logging camp, Ben and Alice sat with Becky in the living room. Josh and Elizabeth were playing round their feet, occasionally jumping up to chase each other noisily round the room. As Alice poured another cup of coffee from the pot that was tucked safely out of the way in the fireplace, she turned her piercingly perceptive grey eyes on Becky.

“Well, my dear, I have to say that I have never seen you so glad to get rid of your husband. You almost pushed him out of the door, why?” asked Alice coming straight to the point, worried that the couple might have a problem.

Becky put her cup down in the middle of the large wooden coffee table that stood between the sofa and the fireplace, and her hands twisted in her lap as she tried to find the words to tell her parents-in-law of the things Adam had said to her.

“I need to speak to you both, I need your advice. I’m worried about Adam.”

Ben interrupted anxiously. “Is he ill?”

Becky looked at her father-in-law, his dark eyes beneath the grey hair registering his concern. She put her hand on his knee to reassure him. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing like that, as far as I know he’s fine. No, it’s not as simple as that.” Becky stood and went to rescue Little Alice from the legs of the dining chair under which she had crawled. Two pairs of eyes followed her, waiting for her to continue. Becky sat down with the baby on her lap, jogging her up and down to keep her quiet.

She looked at Ben. “Adam feels that he has no purpose in life, no challenge, that you don’t need him here any more. He’s just going through every day not really having to think about what he’s doing, because he’s done it all before. He needs something to revive his interest. I am worried about him, he’s been so distant of late. He’s just as loving, but the heart seems to have gone out of him. You know how quickly his mood can change, he will turn inwards, away from me and the children, and then I fear that he may…” Becky stopped, afraid of her thoughts.

“May what?” Alice prompted.

“I am afraid that one day he may not be able to fight his way back to us, that he may simply decide that it’s not worth it.”

“Becky, I don’t think you need worry about that,” Ben assured her. “Since you came into his life, Adam is more settled, more able to cope with his moods. You are a constant in his life on which he can depend, someone who is always there for him. He knows that no matter what his trouble, he can turn to you as he never managed to turn to his family. We have too much history together, have lived through too much sorrow, for him to be able to forget, and he has always felt it wrong to burden us with his problems. But you share happier memories with him, memories which I think he treasures, they stop him from losing himself in his moods.”

“I know and I’m grateful for that, but this has been going on too long.” Becky shook her head, still worried despite Ben’s words.

Alice went to sit on the arm of the chair, beside Becky, and put her arm comfortingly round the younger woman’s shoulders. “My dear, I’m sure that Adam would never think you were not worth the effort. He loves you and the children, you are his reason for living. You must be patient with him, be there for him, and support him when he needs it. Remember that he’s just had his fortieth birthday, an age when a lot of men feel the same. They start to worry about their lives because they know that their youth has gone and they see old age creeping up on them. I suspect Adam feels that he needs to prove that he is still the man he used to be.”

“But that’s ridiculous,” protested Becky. “He has nothing to prove, not to himself and certainly not to me.”

“No, I know,” acknowledged Alice. “But that may be how he sees it. He’s lucky to be able to indulge his feelings, and fortunate to have you to care about him. I’m sure this will pass, and then Adam will be back to normal, just give him time.”

“Oh Alice, I hope so.”

“Would you like me to talk to him?” Ben offered.

“No, not yet, perhaps Alice is right. Let’s just wait and see.”

Joe and Hoss found them sitting silently, mulling over the problem, when they came in a few minutes later.

“Hi Becky,” said Ben’s youngest son Joe, as he picked up his nephew and tossed him squealing, into the air. Josh clutched Joe round the neck, laughing in delight as he looked into the handsome face of his uncle, so Joe did it again before setting him back on his feet. Meanwhile Hoss was galloping round the dining table with Elizabeth on his back, the contrast in size was startling, the large man making the child seem like a toy.

Both brothers sensed the atmosphere at the same time and looked at each other. They came to sit down, Hoss on the sofa and Joe on the arm of Becky’s chair, leaving the children to their play

“What’s up?” asked Joe, looking from his father to Becky.

“Summat’s wrong,” added Hoss, “what is it?”

Ben looked at Becky, who didn’t seem inclined to answer, so he did it for her.

“Becky’s worried about Adam. It seems that he has come to the conclusion that life holds nothing for him, no challenge, no interest, and we don’t need him any more.”

Hoss and Joe both started to protest at the same time.

“But that’s ridiculous…”

“How can he think that…?”

They looked at each other, as Joe continued. “He’s our brother, of course we need him, he knows that.”

“Does he?” asked Becky.

“Has anyone told him that?” Ben wondered.

“Well perhaps not, but he knows,” Hoss said defensively.

“Quite honestly, if you told him so at the moment, I don’t think he would believe you.” Becky cuddled Little Alice who was dropping off to sleep in her arms. She looked at Hoss, feeling comforted by the concern that radiated from his face.

“Don’t you worry,” he said, “we’ll find some way to let him know, leave it to us. Joe come on, we’ve got some thinkin’ to do.” Hoss and Joe went outside, leaving behind three very worried people.

They made their way out to the barn, where Joe started to groom Cochise while Hoss sat on a straw bale, watching him work.

“So, you got any ideas?” Hoss asked. Ben’s middle son was a man of great physical strength, but Hoss knew that his younger brother was the one with the strong imagination.

“We’ve got to make him feel that he’s needed, right?” said Joe, pointing the dandy brush at Hoss.

“That’s about it. But how?” Hoss shook his head, he had no ideas. He knew that if Adam wasn’t there to help them, they would struggle to run the ranch as easily as they did, but how to show him?

“Let’s do what Adam would do, look at this logically. Adam feels that we don’t need him, that he has no purpose to his life. Now, we could tell him we can manage without him and then let him see that we can’t, but by the time we persuaded him of that it might be too late for him, and the ranch might have suffered to the extent that it would take a long time to recover. Or we can give him a purpose.”

“Yeah right, but what?”

Joe stopped brushing the pinto as he leant on the horse’s rump, his green eyes looking intently at Hoss. “Well, when I think of older brother Adam, not the person but what he means to me, I think of him protecting us, looking after us. How about you?” asked Joe. He was twelve years younger than Adam, and six years younger than Hoss, but Joe knew that except for the years that Adam had spent at college and at sea, his brother had always been there, taking care of them. He was always around to get them out of trouble, helping to solve the problems that seemed insurmountable to his younger siblings.

“Yeah, that’s right,” said Hoss beginning to see what his kid brother was getting at. “We need to get him to protect us. But how?” Hoss spread his arms, he couldn’t think of anything that Adam might need to protect them from at that moment.

Joe started to pace back and forth in front of Hoss, as ideas ran through his mind.

“Well, if one of us was in trouble and we could get Adam to help, then he would see that he had a purpose, that he was needed.” Joe paced some more, then stopped and snapped his fingers, pointing at Hoss. “I know, if you went to Adam and told him that I’d disappeared, he’d come looking for me, wouldn’t he?”

“Yeah, I guess so, but where are you gonna disappear to?”

“I don’t know.” More pacing followed, while Joe considered what he could do that would get Adam to search him out. He stopped in front of Hoss with a look of triumph on his face, as the answer suddenly presented itself.

“The line shacks need checking, don’t they?” he asked.

Hoss nodded. “Yeah.”

“So I’ll go and do that, but I’ll send Cochise home without me. He knows every inch of these trails, he’ll find his way back home, no problem. Then you go to Adam and tell him I’m missing. He’ll be out there so fast he won’t know what hit him.”

“But he’ll expect me to go with him, won’t he? We need something he can do on his own.”

Joe considered the problem. “No, you’ll be too ill to go anywhere. Yeah, we’ll get Pa to tell him, not you,” said Joe thinking, as the plan solidified in his mind.

“Joe, anyone can see that I ain’t ill.” Hoss was his usual robust self, not looking the slightest bit poorly. This did not stop Joe.

“We’ll tell Hop Sing what we’re doing. I’m sure that he can come up with something to make you ill for a day or two.” Hop Sing, their housekeeper, was wise in the natural remedies that could be found in the countryside. He also knew the effects of the things one shouldn’t eat. Joe was sure that he would be able to find something that would make Hoss ill for a while, without actually harming him.

Hoss looked thoughtful. “It might work, yeah, it might just work.” Then he looked doubtful, “I suppose that I’ll have to go off my feed for a day or two.”

“Hoss, it’s a small price to pay. I can pretend to need rescuing, I had lots of practice at making out I was hurting when I didn’t want to go to school, Pa always fell for it, though Adam was more difficult to convince, but he’ll be so pleased to find me he won’t notice if I’m not really hurt.”

Joe and Hoss smiled at each other, they had a plan that would work.
Chapter Two

Adam had arranged to meet Becky in the lower pasture before he came home. She rode in the surrey, with Josh and Elizabeth chattering beside her, Alice asleep in the Moses basket tied onto the rear seat. On such a warm day it was good to feel the breeze on their faces as the horse trotted towards the pasture.

Adam didn’t hear them approach. In the ten minutes that he had been waiting his mind had wandered to other places, and other times. He was startled as he heard Becky call his name.

“What was it you wanted me to look at?” he asked as Becky drew level.

“I think one or two of the cows are sickening, they seem to be losing weight.” Becky turned and pointed at the herd. “You see the one with the large patch of white on its rump, and the one with a lop-sided horn? What do you think?”

Adam moved Fiddler a few steps nearer the herd as he looked for the cows Becky had pointed out. He sat still for a few minutes, unmoving, his mind again wandering away from this place, to another place, in the East.

Suddenly he was startled from his dreams as he heard the drumming of hooves. The surrey sailed past him, the horse running in panic. Becky had lost her grip on the reins and had thrown her arms round her frightened children. Elizabeth buried her face in Becky’s skirt, but Josh was watching what was happening, excited at the speed they were travelling. Becky looked round to assure herself that Alice was firmly fixed into the seat. Becky had not screamed as the horse took off, she was not the screaming type.

Adam immediately pushed Fiddler into a full gallop and bore down on the fleeing animal. As he drew level, he leant sideways to make a grab for the reins, but he couldn’t reach them as they flailed between the legs of the horse. He did the only thing he could; he leaped from Fiddler and grabbed the terrified creature round the neck. Mindful of the need to avoid the thundering hooves, he forced the horse’s head down, until gradually it slowed and stopped. Becky ran to her husband, but was worried by his sharp intake of breath when she threw her arms round his neck

“What is it, are you hurt?” she asked anxiously, standing back to look at him.

“No, just pulled a few muscles, don’t worry. I might be a bit stiff tomorrow, but some tender loving care will soon fix it.” He smiled at Becky, then drew her into his arms and hugged her as tight as his aching shoulders would allow. As she smiled up at him, he realised that he could have lost her.

Josh and Elizabeth climbed down from the surrey, and suddenly Adam felt arms encircling each of his legs. He released Becky and knelt down to put an arm round his son and elder daughter. He hugged them, getting kisses on his cheeks in return, then Josh and Elizabeth ran off, their terror forgotten.

Adam turned back to his wife. “Becky, I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention, you could have been killed. I was daydreaming, not concentrating. If I had been, I could have stopped that horse sooner.”

“But we weren’t hurt, don’t worry.”

Adam suddenly felt the restlessness of the last few weeks lift from him as though he had taken off a heavy coat. He knew what could have been the outcome of his being wrapped in his own selfish emotions. He could have lost the most important thing in his life, his family.

Becky put her hand to his face, softly caressing his cheek to sooth the worry that had appeared in his brown eyes. Adam turned his head to kiss the palm of her hand, then leant down and kissed her lips, gently at first then with more passion, as the fear of losing his beloved took hold of his heart. Becky responded briefly, then pushed him away, remembering the children who were playing unattended. As she pushed on his shoulders, he winced again.

“I think we’d better get you home and into a warm bath, then I’ll rub some liniment into those muscles.”

Adam smiled. “Yes, I think I like the sound of that.”

Having retrieved Fiddler and the children, Adam rode beside the surrey as they slowly made their way back to the house. They decided that the horse had been frightened by a bird flying up in front of his nose, but had settled down enough to take them home.

When they took the children into the kitchen to give them an early supper, Adam noticed that Becky was very quiet as she fed Alice. He saw that her hand shook as she held the spoon, so as soon as the meal was finished he took Alice from Becky, ordering his wife to sit down in front of the fire while he put the baby to bed. Once he had done that, he found Josh and Elizabeth some paper and pencils and sat them at the table, where they were content to entertain themselves drawing for a while.

Adam made Becky a cup of strong coffee, into which he slipped a little whiskey. He sat beside her to ensure that she drank it while he watched, then he took the empty cup from her and placed it on the table beside him. Adam turned back to his wife, and as he took her hand, he could feel that she was still shaking.

“Adam, thank you.” She turned towards him, smiling gratefully.

“Thank you? For what?”

“You could have been hurt, coming after us like that.”

Adam laughed lightly as he eased his aching shoulders. “You still owe me a hot bath and a massage,” he reminded her.

“And you shall have it.” She made to get up, but Adam stopped her.

“Don’t go, I want to talk to you.”

Becky settled back, waiting for him to speak. She watched as Adam stood and began to pace to and fro in front of her.

“Becky, it was my fault, I could have stopped that horse taking off like he did, but I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn’t notice what was happening.” He paused, trying to find the words that would explain to Becky how he felt. “When we married, I was so busy looking after you, and then the children, I didn’t have time to think about how my life had changed. I suppose life is continually changing and evolving, but you’re too busy to notice. You have a quiet time, then a time when there are demands to be met, then that passes and a quiet time comes again. But suddenly I saw in front of me a life with no demands. Instead of ups and downs, I only saw a life levelled out, no high spots, but equally no depressions, and no challenges.” He sat down again beside Becky and held her hand gently, caressing her slim fingers. “Well, what happened today made me realise that I don’t want the ups and downs, I just want you, and the children. It’s enough for me, and always will be.”

Adam stopped speaking, took Becky in his arms, and held her tight.

“I understand,” Becky assured him.

“Do you? Can you see that I don’t need anything else? I thought I needed more, but I was wrong. I want us to be able to bring up the children in a settled life, a good life. That’s what we have now, and I don’t want it to change. I’m sorry that you have been worried about me, but that’s passed, I promise.”

Becky gently pushed away from Adam and gazed at him. “Thank you, I was worried. Worried that I couldn’t give you the life you craved, that somehow you were not happy being married, that you might go in search of something else.”

“I would never leave you, you know that.”

“You must admit that you did leave us. Your mind has been elsewhere for the past few weeks.” Becky accused gently, and Adam looked sheepish.

“Yes, you’re right, but not any more, I just want to be here, with you.”

“Are you sure, really sure? Because if you want to go in search of whatever it was you wanted, I won’t stop you. I want you to be happy, and if that means that you have to go away for a while, I won’t stand in your way.”

Adam’s heart ached, as her words confirmed yet again what a precious gift he had been given in this woman, and he realised what he had been doing to her. He slipped off the sofa to kneel in front of Becky, and as he took both her hands in his, he noticed that she had stopped shaking.

“Becky, I swear that I will never leave you, I don’t want anything else, or any other life but the one I have here. I know that now with a deep certainty, and I want you to be certain of it as well.”

Becky raised Adam to his feet as she stood. She put her arms round his neck, pulled his head towards her, and kissed him deeply. He responded, putting his hands to her waist to draw her close, until they heard Josh and Elizabeth giggling behind them. They looked round and saw that the children were watching them. They smiled at each other.

“Let’s get the children to bed, then you can tend to my aching muscles, and I can show you how appreciative I am of your nursing,” said Adam smiling mischievously. Becky, hoping that he was feeling strong enough to deliver what he was promising, anticipated an exciting evening together as she smiled back.
Chapter Three

Adam rode towards the Ponderosa the following day with a light heart. He had decided to take Sport as his mount because the animal needed the exercise, and was a gentler ride than the young Fiddler. Adam needed that today, his shoulders had stiffened up despite Becky’s ministrations, but he ignored the discomfort, lost in the beauty of the world around him, which he was looking at with new eyes. Eyes that were not clouded with imagined longings for other things, and other places.

He pulled into the yard, led Sport to the barn, and once the horse was settled, went into the house. He had planned a day of paperwork, which was just as well, he didn’t feel like riding any further.

His father greeted him, then made him sit down to have some coffee before he started work. Ben could see that Adam had a spring in his step, and that a smile came easily to his lips as they talked.

“Well, I’m glad to see that you look a bit better,” Ben observed.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Adam was suddenly thoughtful as he glanced at his father. “Pa, did you ever have times when you wished that you had done something different with your life?”

“Yes, I suppose so. I sometimes wonder what life would have been like if we’d stayed in Boston instead of coming out here. But then I remember what I would have missed, I wouldn’t have Hoss and Joe for a start, would never have known Inger and Marie, and I wouldn’t have wanted that. No, I’m happy with the life I’ve led.”

Adam nodded, it was the answer he had expected. “I wondered for a while if I had done the right thing by coming back here after college, or what I would have done if I had decided to keep grandfather’s shipping business instead of selling it. But, like you, I know that I wouldn’t give up what I have now.” He smiled at his father.

“I’m glad,” said Ben, relieved that Alice’s prognosis was proving correct.

“Where’s Hoss? I saw Chubb still in the barn.” Adam remembered that he had been puzzled to see his brother’s horse.

“He’s not well. Got an upset stomach.”

“Oh no, don’t tell me he can’t eat!” Adam laughed, he knew the effect that not eating had on his younger, but much bigger brother.

Ben laughed with him. “That’s right, and you never saw anyone so miserable.”

“I’ll go up and see him, try to cheer him up.”

Ben followed Adam as he entered Hoss’ bedroom and saw the downcast face looking at them from the pillows.

“Hi brother,” Adam said cheerfully, then he turned to his father. “Pa, has anybody warned the town of impending disaster?”

“What d’ya mean?” Hoss frowned.

“Well, I can see a sudden down turn in trade is about to hit Virginia City if you can’t eat.” Adam laughed at the pained expression that greeted his remark, and Ben joined in.

“Why d’ya have to be so happy?” Despite the discomfort in his stomach, Hoss could see that Adam was looking disgustingly pleased with himself.

“Because I am. It’s a beautiful day and I mean to make the most of it.” Adam winced as he eased his shoulders, thinking that they were the only black spot in an otherwise fine morning. Ben noticed the movement.

“What happened, you hurt yourself?”

“It’s nothing, the horse bolted with the surrey yesterday, just pulled some muscles when I stopped it.” He turned to Hoss. “So when are you going to be up and about?”

“Hop Sing reckons tomorrow, or the day after.”

“I’ll keep some of your chores till then, in that case,” Adam promised him. “But the paperwork won’t wait, I’ll come up and see you later.”

“Fine, thanks.” Hoss said despondently. He curled up under the covers as his father and brother left, trying to find some comfort for his aching gut. Then he groaned, as he realised that his suffering was for nothing. It seemed as though Adam had got himself out of his black mood without his brothers’ help.

After lunch, Adam was still sitting at the desk in the office alcove working on a new timber contract, when Ben came running in through the front door, shouting.

“Adam!”

Adam put the papers aside and went to his father. “What is it, what’s wrong?”

“Cochise just came into the yard, but there’s no sign of Joe.”

“Where was he going today?” asked Adam, as he picked up his gun belt and hat from the sideboard by the front door, preparing to leave.

“I’m not sure, but Hoss should know.”

Ben and Adam ran upstairs. As they questioned him, they detected a definite reluctance on Hoss’ part.

“Hoss, what is it, what aren’t you telling me?” asked Adam suspiciously.

“Don’t worry ‘bout Joe.” Hoss said quietly.

“What d’ya mean, don’t worry? Cochise came in alone!” shouted his brother.

“Adam, Joe’s fine, he’s not in any danger.” Hoss explained about their plan. As he did so Adam sat on the chair by the window, and Ben sat down on the bed.

“I aught to leave him to stew up there for a few days,” said Adam, but then he realised that his brothers had only done this to help him. But there was always the possibility that Joe might really be in trouble, he couldn’t afford to take the chance.

“Are you going to be all right to ride up there?” asked Ben, remembering Adam’s sore shoulders.

“Yeah, I’ve brought Sport with me, so I’ll take it slow. I’ll stay with Joe at the line shack, and we’ll come back tomorrow. Would you send someone over to Becky, to let her know I won’t be back tonight?”

“Of course.” Ben agreed.

Adam looked hard at his brother. “Hoss, next time you and Joe come up with a hair brained scheme, could you make it something a little less dangerous. I’m going to have to go and make sure that Joe is all right.”

After a visit to the kitchen, Adam went to the barn to saddle Sport and a spare horse for Joe, then rode out, heading towards the line shack on Diamond Head.
Chapter Four

When Joe was in sight of the line shack, he dismounted and turned Cochise towards home. He slapped the pinto’s rump, shouting at him to go. Cochise ran a few steps, stopped, then turned to look at his master.

“Oh Cooch, just go will ya.” Joe was quietly delighted that the horse didn’t want to leave him, but frustrated that if he didn’t it would ruin everything.

He went to the animal and again tried to get him to go, finally drawing his gun, firing in the air. Cochise looked uneasy for a moment, so Joe fired again. This was too much for the horse, who took off at a gallop. Joe made his way down towards the shack and as he pushed the door open, he could smell the dust that had accumulated through lack of use during the fine summer months. He knew that he would have a few hours to wait, so he spent time checking round the place, fixing loose boards and filling the wood box. Then with nothing left to do, he went back inside, and after spreading out the blankets, settled himself on a cot in one corner of the room. He lay there for a while daydreaming, then he gradually fell asleep.

He woke, stretched, and went to the door. Looking at the light outside, he estimated that it was late afternoon.

“Well, brother if you’re coming to get me, I hope you won’t be much longer, gets kinda lonely up here, a man could start talking to himself.” Joe giggled at his humour, but remembering that Adam might arrive at any moment, he went back to the bed, where he lay down planning just how hurt he should appear. When he was satisfied that he had made all the preparations necessary, he started thinking sleepily about the upcoming dance in Virginia City, sifting through in his mind the options he had for partners. There was Gail, or Annie, or Mary, or…

It was dark in the cabin when he next woke, though he could see it was only dusk outside. He knew immediately what had woken him; it was the hand over his mouth and the sound of a revolver being cocked next to his right ear. Someone was standing behind him. He tried to rise but the hand held him down, pressing on his face.

“Don’t move,” said a deep voice with a southern accent. “You should’na come here, now I’m gonna have to get rid of you.”

Joe’s heart was pounding in his chest, and he again tried to move, but the man behind him pressed the gun into his temple.

“Stay still, or yer dead, you hear me?” Joe nodded and lay still. He hoped that the man had been foolish enough to leave his horse in view outside, so that Adam would have some warning of the danger when he arrived.

Joe heard the rustle of cloth and the creak of leather as the man knelt down to speak in his ear. Joe tried to turn his head to look at the figure behind him, but the combined pressures of gun and hand prevented any movement.

“Now, there’s one way you c’n save yer miserable life, you wanna hear it?” the deep voice asked. Joe nodded carefully, wondering what he might have to do in exchange for his life.

The man behind him continued. “You have to promise me something. Will you promise?”

Again, Joe nodded, if there was a way out of this he was going to take it.

“You have to clean all Adam’s tack for the next month.”

Joe paused wondering if he had heard right, then as the pressure on his face eased he swung himself up off the cot. He had trouble seeing the black clad figure in the shadows.

“Adam, I’m gonna kill you,” said Joe, as he recognised his eldest brother, who was bent double with laughter.

“Well you deserved that, making me ride all the way up here in my condition,” said Adam. His shoulders ached after the long ride, and the pain had crept up to his head. Adam felt the need for sympathy; he wanted Joe to know what he had unnecessarily put his brother through.

“Why, what’s wrong?” Suddenly Joe was concerned, he could see Adam wince as he straightened up.

Adam eased his shoulders. “I should be at home being ministered to by my wife, and instead of that, you drag me up here to rescue you.”

Adam was replacing the bullets in his gun as he went to sit at the table in the centre of the room. Joe found a lamp and lit it, placing it on the table. He was shaking as a result of the threats made by his brother, and suddenly he realised how it was that Adam could so often get himself out of trouble by words alone. No one in his right mind would challenge that voice, southern accent or not.

“How did you know…?”

“Hoss told me.” When he saw Joe’s reaction to his words Adam held up his hand. “It’s all right, it was a good idea, but your timing is a bit off. Thanks to a wayward horse, I don’t need your help to bring me out of the mood I was in.” He moved to stand in front of his younger, smaller brother, and held his shoulders. “But thank you anyway, I appreciate what you tried to do, and I’m sorry about scaring you, but I couldn’t resist it. Had to get Hoss some revenge for you making him go off his food.”

Adam laughed again and this time Joe joined in.

“Did you hurt your shoulders?” asked Joe; he could see that Adam was uncomfortable.

“Yeah, Becky’s horse bolted with the surrey. Don’t worry, she’s fine, so are the children.” Adam sat down again and lowered his eyes away from his brother’s intense gaze. “But it brought me back to my senses, knowing that I could have lost them.” He looked up. “Seriously, Joe, I am grateful for what you were trying to do. Now how about cooking your poor old aching brother some supper, hn? There’s food in my saddle bags.” Adam wasn’t really very hungry, but he wanted to keep Joe occupied to prevent him from questioning his elder brother any further on his attitude, and the reasons behind it.

Joe smiled, nodded, and went outside, emptying the supplies on the table when he returned. Adam had brought supper with him, provided by Hop Sing. After their meal, the two men sat talking for a while, then turned in, planning to make an early start.

Faint morning light was lifting the shadows in the cabin as Joe was startled awake. He knew what had woken him; it was the hand over his mouth and the sound of a gun being cocked beside his right ear.

“Now, don’t move and you won’t get hurt,” said a deep voice.

Joe exploded from the bed.

“Adam, that’s not funny. I’m gonna…” Joe stopped, stunned, as he realised that he was looking at a stranger.

“I told you not to move.” The stranger stepped forward and struck Joe on the side of the head, making him fall to the floor, his vision narrowing. He lay there and turned his head to look for Adam, but he was not in the cot where he had been sleeping. As Joe struggled back to his feet, the door opened to reveal two men supporting his brother between them, but Adam’s chin rested on his chest, so Joe could only see the top of his head. The two men had hold of Adam’s arms, and as they released him, he fell to the floor at Joe’s feet. Joe heard him groan, and as Adam rolled onto his back, Joe could see that blood was running down his brother’s face from a cut on his head.

Joe knelt down beside him. “Adam, can you hear me? Adam!” he put his hand on his brother’s arm, squeezing it gently.

Adam looked with unfocused eyes at Joe, and nodded. Joe put his hands under Adam’s shoulders to help him to his feet, then supported him as his taller, heavier brother leant against him.

“What do you want?” Joe demanded, looking at the three men who crowded the small room. The man holding the gun on him was as tall as Adam but thinner, with thick, dark eyebrows over mean, narrow eyes. The other two were surprisingly alike, though of obviously different ages, both shorter, nearer Joe’s height, and fair with small, pale eyes in their round faces. They were also holding guns, covering Joe and Adam.

“Sit down,” the dark haired man ordered. Joe helped Adam to the table, where they sat side by side, Joe looking anxiously at his brother, seeing the blood seeping down his face and watching for any signs that he might pass out again.

“What we don’t want is you two causing us any trouble.”

The three men surrounded the brothers. Adam glanced sideways at Joe and nodded, indicating that he was all right, then he looked round at the men.

“Who are you?” asked Adam huskily.

“I’ll ask the questions,” the man said as he weighed up the two in front of him. He looked at Adam. “What’s your name?”

“Cartwright,” said Adam reluctantly, then as the man raised his eyebrows in question, he added, “Adam Cartwright.”

“And you?” the man said, looking at Joe.

“He’s my brother.” Adam answered before Joe could speak.

The older of the two fair-haired men reached out and twisted his fingers in Adam’s black hair, pulling his head up and backwards, until Adam was stretched over the back of the chair.

“Well now, Finn wasn’t asking you.” Adam raised his hands to try to stop his hair being pulled out by the roots, but the man pushed Adam’s head forward, crashing it into the tabletop. He lay across the rough surface, his arms spread out in front of him, as he lost consciousness.

Joe leaped to his feet to defend his brother, but was met by two guns pointing squarely at his head.

“Sit down,” Finn commanded from the other side of the table. Joe slowly lowered himself into the chair then he put his hand on Adam’s shoulder and shook it gently, but got no reaction.

“You don’t look like brothers,” said the younger fair-haired man.

Joe turned to look at him. “Well we are.”

“Cartwright, eh. Seems to me like I know that name,” said Finn, as a thoughtful look came into his eyes.

“You should,” said Joe through gritted teeth, “you’re on our land.”

“Your land?”

“Yeah, the Ponderosa.”

Finn glanced round, looking out of the window. “So this is the Ponderosa? Yeah, I’ve heard of it. Well, this changes things, eh boys?” Finn looked at the other men, who stared back at him, uncertain of his meaning.

Finn enlarged on his comment as an idea formed in his head. “I think we just found us a way outta here. No one’s going to try to stop us if we threaten to kill these two.”

Cory nodded his agreement. “Yeah, good idea.”

His younger brother, Jess, was less certain. “But we’ll have to keep an eye on them, that’ll slow us down.”

“Don’t matter, like I say, no one’s going to challenge us while we got them,” said Finn, and a vicious grin crossed his face. When he saw the look on Finn’s face, Joe knew they were in trouble. Finn looked at that moment like a man who held their lives in very little regard, someone who would snuff them out at the slightest provocation. Joe wished Adam would wake up, he knew that his brother would know what to do, how to handle these men. Joe’s first reaction was to try and fight his way out, but he thought of what Adam would have said, if Joe had been able to suggest it to him. He would tell his impetuous brother to calm down and think about what he was doing, that men with drawn guns always held the upper hand, and there were better ways to handle it.

Joe decided that cooperation might let them live a little longer, even perhaps find an opportunity for escape. “Mister, please may I tend to my brother?” Joe asked, deferentially. He needed to show Finn that he was prepared to accept the situation, and not cause them any trouble.

Finn liked the tone Joe had used; he thought that the younger brother was accepting the prospect of being their prisoner. He decided that it wouldn’t hurt to give him a little encouragement, let him think that if he behaved it would go easier on them.

“Yeah, but Cory, tie the big one’s hands first.”

Cory found a rope to tie Adam’s hands behind his back, then helped to move him to the cot on which Joe had been lying.

Joe got some water to clean the blood from his brother’s face. He could see a deep gash just under the hairline, and Adam’s eyebrow was cut and swollen where he had hit the table. As Joe continued to try to stop the wounds bleeding, Adam opened his eyes.

“Joe, have they…?”

“No, they’re still here, but they let me get you cleaned up.”

Adam thought that was a good sign, but then he hadn’t seen the look on Finn’s face when he found out who he had taken prisoner. Adam was uncomfortable, and realised that he was bound when he tried to move his hands. His heart sank as he admitted to himself that they were outnumbered, outgunned, and at the mercy of these men. He turned his attention to Finn.

“Why…” He stopped, closing his eyes for a moment, trying to gather his scattered wits. “What do you want with us?”

Finn came to stand behind Joe, looking down at the older brother. “You’re going to be our ticket outta here. The law won’t come after us if we got you,” Finn explained.

Adam looked up into the mean, dark eyes that were observing him. Suddenly he was afraid, he had seen that look in other eyes and it always meant trouble. He knew that he had to get Joe away from these men, so despite the pain in his head and the fact that he was having trouble concentrating, he formulated a simple but logical argument in his mind.

“You don’t need both of us, and one’d be easier to keep an eye on.” he said quietly, but persuasively.

“But two’s better than one, ain’t it?”

Adam shook his head slowly. “You’ll need to let the sheriff know you’ve got a hostage. No good holding someone if he doesn’t know. Why don’t you send Joe to tell them not to come after you, because you’ve got me?”

Joe held Adam’s shoulders, looking deep into his eyes.

“Adam! I’m not going to leave you here with them!” Joe was shocked to hear Adam help them with their plan; he couldn’t see what Adam was doing, only that his brother was suggesting that he should desert him.

“I could keep him and send you.” Finn wanted to see Adam’s reaction to the idea, he wondered if the older man had some plan cooking.

Adam eased himself up, until he was almost sitting, leaning against the wall beside the bed. His head was swimming, so he closed his eyes until the world righted itself.

“Yeah, you could, but he’s in a better state to make the ride back.” Adam looked at Joe, wondering what his brother’s reaction would be to his next words. “He’s also headstrong, hot-tempered, and likely to cause you a lot more trouble than I will. I can see that you have the upper hand, and won’t do anything to antagonise you, I can’t say the same for Joe.”

Joe stood and stared at Adam, his eyes blazing, he couldn’t believe that his brother thought that he was that stupid. He turned to Finn.

“If you let my brother stay here then you’re asking for trouble. He’s clever and resourceful. He’ll find a way to stop you.”

“Not when I’m faced with three men who would kill me at the drop of a hat,” Adam argued. Now was not the time to admit that hopefully, Joe might be right. Finn had a small grin on his face as he listened to these two try to argue each other out of trouble.

Joe tried a different tack. “Adam, you got a wife and kids to think about.”

“Yeah, I am thinking about them, that’s why they can trust me to be no trouble, what sort of guarantee would they have with you?” Adam smiled thinly at Joe, to take the sting out of his words. Then his smile broadened, trying to make Joe relax, to accept that his older brother was trying to get him away from these men and the danger they represented. “Besides you have to go home and start cleaning my tack, remember.”

Joe thought that Adam was taking it all too lightly; perhaps that bang on the head had affected him. “Adam…”

“That’s enough,” ordered Finn. Joe and Adam looked at him, both hoping that Finn would decide to send his brother away.

“You.” Finn said, pointing at Joe.

Joe smiled at Adam, thinking that Finn had decided to let his brother go.

“You can go and tell them that I got your brother, so they’d better not come after us or he’s a dead man. Tell them not to bother looking for us here, we’ll be long gone before you could get back.”
Chapter Five

Joe rode fast, back to the ranch house. He had taken a tearful farewell of Adam, hating himself for leaving, though in the face of Finn’s threats against his hostage, Joe knew he had no choice. He had it in his mind that he might never see Adam alive again, remembering the look in Finn’s eyes. Now, as he rode, he cursed his brother for persuading Finn to let him go. He knew why Adam had done it, and Joe loved him for it, but he would never forgive his brother if he got himself killed.

Joe rode into the yard at a gallop, threw himself from his horse, and ran into the house. The sight that greeted him both startled and pleased him. The elderly Sheriff Coffee was sitting talking to Ben. Both men turned as Joe rushed in.

“Joseph! What is the meaning of this?” Ben shouted, as Joe slid to a stop behind the sofa in the middle of the room. Ben thought that despite his age, Joe still often entered a room as though he was ten years old.

“Pa, Roy, it’s Adam. They’ve got him, they’re gonna to kill him.”

Roy Coffee got to his feet, closely followed by Ben.

“What d’ya say, boy?” asked Roy.

Ben turned to Roy. “You don’t think…?”

“Could be.” Roy turned back to Joe. “Who’s got him?”

“Three men, they said to tell you they’d kill him if you went after them.”

“Joe, sit down a minute,” his father ordered, and Joe reluctantly took a seat next to Roy on the sofa.

“I just been telling your Pa about the Virginia City Bank getting robbed yesterday. The teller was killed, and the three men who did it were headed this way.”

Joe took a deep breath to steady himself. If they had killed the bank clerk, they wouldn’t hesitate to kill Adam, they had nothing to lose. “What did they look like?” he asked, afraid of the answer.

“One dark, older. The other two both fair haired.”

“That’s them. Pa, we gotta stop them. They already killed, so they won’t care what happens to Adam.”

Ben put his hand on Joe’s shoulder, trying at the same time to reassure his son and get him to be quiet, so he could think.

At that moment, Hoss appeared at the top of the stairs. As he made his way down slowly, he saw three anxious faces watching him.

“What’s all the ruckus?” Hoss asked as he sat down in the armchair opposite Ben. Joe smiled thinly at him; he was pleased to see that his brother was recovering from his brush with starvation.

“Adam came to get me, but we got jumped by three men, they’re holding Adam hostage so Roy won’t follow them. Adam made me leave him, persuaded them to send me back to tell Roy.” Joe shook his head, still not believing that he had just walked out, leaving his brother with those men. Ben saw the movement, and the look in the eyes of his youngest son.

“Joe, I’m sure that Adam knew what he was doing. He’ll be all right, he’s sensible enough to keep on the right side of them. They won’t hurt him while they need him.”

Joe looked unbelievingly at his father. “Yeah? Well they already have hurt him, they won’t care what happens to him.”

“Hurt him?” repeated Ben.

“Yeah, they beat him senseless.” Joe was driven by guilt to overstate the damage to his brother, but when he saw the worry on his father’s face he backed off. “But he was awake and talking when I left.”

Joe turned to Roy. “We gotta go after them, they’ll kill him, I saw it in their eyes.”

“Now settle down Joe,” said the Sheriff, he knew it would do more harm than good to go rushing out after the gang. They had to go about this carefully, with a plan in mind. He turned to Hoss.

“How are you feeling? Could you track them?”

“Yeah, sure,” said Hoss, eager to help.

“If we can keep them in sight, we may get an opportunity to help Adam,” said Ben, anxious to find out what was happening to his eldest son.

“You gonna get a posse?” asked Joe.

“No, I think we’ll be enough, don’t want too many men out there, they might spot us,” said Roy, and Ben nodded his agreement.

“Then let’s go.” Joe leaped to his feet.

Roy and Ben looked at each other. There was no need to delay, the sooner they started the better.

Ben stood. “All right, get some supplies from Hop Sing and then get yourselves ready.”

Hoss went to the kitchen as Joe ran upstairs to get a change of clothes. Meanwhile Ben arranged to send one of the men over to Adam’s home to let Becky know what was happening. Ben was glad that Alice had gone to visit with Becky for the day, the young woman was strong, but she would need all the support she could get at the moment.

In less than an hour, the four men were on their way.
As Adam watched Joe leave, the knot in his stomach loosened itself a little. He had managed to get his brother to safety, now he only had himself to worry about. As he lay on the cot trying to think round the pain that spread from his head to his shoulders, he watched with interest an exchange between Cory and his younger brother, as they decided to have something to eat before they left.

“We got time for breakfast, ain’t we?” Cory asked Finn, who was obviously the leader of the gang, judging by the way the other two deferred to him.

“Yeah, I guess.”

Cory turned to Jess. “Get some food on the go, quick.”

“Why me?” complained Jess, looking sullen.

“Because I told you to, that’s why.”

Jess muttered something under his breath, then said aloud, “But I always have to do it.”

Cory went to stand in front of his brother and grabbed his shirtfront. “That’s right, and you’ll go on doing it until I tell you otherwise, got it?”

Jess backed down. “All right, I was just saying.”

“Well don’t.” Cory let go of Jess as he pushed him towards the small stove in one corner of the room.

Jess made a quick meal of bacon and biscuits, then he brewed some coffee. The smell of the food reminded Adam that he was hungry, he had not eaten much supper because his headache had robbed him of his appetite. Now, despite the throbbing in his head, he wanted to eat. He looked across the room at Finn, a silent question in his eyes.

Finn shook his head. “No, you ain’t getting nothin’ just yet, you gotta earn it. You behave and we’ll see about some food later. Won’t hurt you to go without for a while.”

Adam lay back on the cot, grudgingly admiring the man’s tactics. If he didn’t give them any trouble they would feed him, if not he would just get weaker as he starved. Either way they would have a submissive prisoner. Adam knew he was going to have to be careful with Finn, this was obviously an intelligent man who would not easily fall for any ploy that Adam might try.

With breakfast finished, Cory sent Jess out to prepare the horses. As Jess went out, mumbling to himself, Cory gave him a long look, then glanced at Finn, who just shrugged. Finn crossed the room and stood looking down at Adam.

“Right now, we’re leaving.” Finn drew his gun. “Any trouble and you’re dead, got it?”

Adam nodded. “I understand well enough.”

Finn put his hand under Adam’s arm to help him to his feet. Adam swayed as the world turned grey for a moment, but he managed to remain upright. Finn stood back, motioning with the gun for Adam to precede him out of the door. He moved slowly into the yard in front of the cabin, where he saw Sport standing alongside the horses of the other men. Adam went and stood beside him and waited.

“OK, mount up.”

Adam didn’t move. “I think I’m going to need some help,” he said reasonably, showing them his bound hands. Cory came over, took Adam’s arm roughly, and pushed him up into the saddle.

The men mounted and moved off, with Finn leading, followed by Cory, who was holding Sport’s reins, Jess bringing up the rear. They rode quietly through the forest, and soon they were on a track heading west. The woods around them were deserted, only the sound of the horse’s hooves breaking the silence. As they descended the mountain the track widened, until the little shade that the trees had provided disappeared. The sun beating down on Adam’s bare head soon had its effect, making him feel hot and thirsty, and he was having trouble focusing his eyes. He was struggling to stay upright, as his headache got worse.

When he thought he might faint, he called to Cory. “Can I have some water?”

Finn heard him, pulled his horse round, and rode back towards them. As he looked at Adam, considering his request, Finn could see that he was pale and about to pass out. That would slow them down, he thought.

“I guess you’ve behaved yourself well enough.” He eased his mount beside Sport, holding his canteen so that Adam could drink.

“Thanks.” Adam nodded, in recognition of the favour. Finn congratulated himself on his decision to keep the elder brother, it seemed that this one had the sense to realise that life would be easier for him if he cooperated. He rode up beside Cory.

“Keep an eye on him, don’t want to lose him just yet.” He turned to see Adam watching him so he added, “Don’t give him too much, he ain’t earned it.” Finn rode away laughing to himself.

They were heading round the top of Lake Tahoe, away from the Ponderosa. Adam knew that there was plenty of cover and many places to camp unobserved in this part of the country, it would not be easy to stop the gang when they had such advantages. He wondered what his father’s reaction had been to Joe’s lone arrival, and the news of their encounter with the fugitives. Adam hoped that Ben had been able to get Joe to understand that he had done the only thing he could, in getting Finn to let his younger brother go. He knew that Joe was upset at having to leave, but Adam thought that at least someone would know what had happened to him.

Adam’s head was hurting, and he tried to picture Becky soothing away his pain, her hand brushing over his forehead and through his hair, her voice, soft and low, telling him that he would be all right, just relax, she would take care of him. For a while he was lost in his imaginings.

They stopped a little after mid day for a short break, just enough time to rest and have a drink. Jess handed cups of freshly brewed coffee to Finn and Cory, then after speaking briefly to Finn, he came over to where Adam sat leaning against a tree, slightly apart from the other men. Jess had a cup in each hand as he sat down beside Adam.

“Finn said you could have some,” Jess said, holding one of the cups so that Adam could drink.

Adam sipped the hot liquid. “Thanks.” The strong coffee started to make him feel better, though he knew that it would do little for his thirst.

He turned his head to look at Finn and Cory, sitting just out of earshot, then turned back to Jess.

“What are you doing with them?” he asked, indicating with a nod of his head the two men sitting talking quietly.

“What d’ya mean? Cory’s my brother, where else would I be?”

“He doesn’t treat you much like a brother should,” Adam observed.

“Yeah well, he’s older than me and knows best.” Adam smiled, how he wished Joe believed that.

“Seems to me like he just wants to be able to tell you what to do.” Adam was pushing, hoping to find a weakness in the tight little group.

“That’s just his way, because I’m younger than him, you know how it is.”

“No, I don’t.” Adam shook his head carefully. “It doesn’t have to be like that. You saw my younger brother. Do you think that he would do something just because I told him to?”

“No, I guess not.” Jess looked at Adam, wondering. “Why did you want to send him away? Finn might have let you go, I know Cory thinks you’re trouble.”

“Does he? Well if I get my way, he’ll be right.” Adam glanced towards the two men by the fire, then turned his attention back to Jess. “It’s because Joe is my younger brother that I had to get him away. As the eldest, it’s my duty to protect my brothers from harm, and I will always do that.”

“Even if it means gettin’ killed?”

Adam nodded slowly. “But I know that if the positions were reversed, they would do the same for me.”

“How many brothers you got?” Jess wanted to know.

“Two.”

Jess thought back, reviewing the short conversation. He had not realised that he could have any other relationship with Cory but the one they had. Would Cory give his life for him? Jess shook his head sadly, he knew the answer was ‘no’.

“How come you feel that way?” Jess couldn’t quite believe it.

Adam considered his answer for a minute before replying.

“Well, I suppose that is my father’s doing. It’s the way we’ve been raised, to love and respect each other, to value what each of us means to the others.”

“I don’t remember my Pa, he was killed before I was born, and my Ma died four years ago.” Jess said quietly.

“I’m sorry, every boy should know his father.” Adam paused, looking at a very bewildered young man, who had been given an insight into a different kind of life. “Why is the law after you?” Adam wanted to know how desperate Roy might be to find these men.

Jess was surprised by the change of subject. “We robbed the Virginia City Bank yesterday.”

“Anyone get hurt?”

“Cory shot the cashier, I don’t know if he was killed, we didn’t stop to find out.” Jess’ eyes were downcast as he spoke.

“You don’t seem too happy about it,” Adam observed.

“I didn’t want nobody hurt,” Jess shook his head.

“Well, if you point guns at people you must expect to use them.”

“I didn’t want to do it in the first place.” said Jess, a note of anger in his voice.

“Why did you?”

“Cory made me. Said I had to do it or he’d leave me to fend for myself.”

Adam thought that Jess looked too young to be on his own. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

Jess held the cup for Adam to drain the last of the coffee. As he did so, Adam looked at him, considering this young man and his vulnerability. Jess was afraid of what he might see in the older man’s eyes, so he turned away, sitting with his back to Adam, avoiding his scrutiny.

Adam spoke quietly and persuasively. “Jess, if you help me to get out of this, I can help you. I can make sure that the law goes easy on you. I’ll put in a good word for you, let them know that you helped me, that your brother forced you into robbing the bank. You could get off…aargh!”

Jess turned round as he heard the exclamation, and saw Finn standing over Adam, where he had fallen sideways onto the ground. Finn drew his foot back ready to administer another kick.

“Finn, don’t please,” Jess begged him, but Finn took no notice. His boot connected with Adam’s ribcage.

Adam’s vision faded for a few seconds, but he was aware of Finn kneeling beside him, and a hand gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him up again to sit against the tree. He felt a gun pressing into his throat.

Finn looked murderous, and he spaced his words deliberately as he shook Adam roughly. “You will keep your mouth shut, you got it? Do you understand? Answer me!” Finn shouted, shaking Adam again.

Adam nodded as his eyes came back into focus. He knew that Finn was very close to killing him, and he nodded again.

Adam was fighting to get his breathing under control, until finally he managed to speak. “But I had to try, you’d expect that.” Adam tried to keep his voice light, to relieve the man’s tension, which seemed to work as Finn let go of him, and smiled. Adam smiled in return, it seemed as though these two understood each other.

“Yeah, I guess I did at that, and you’d expect me to stop you.”

Adam looked up, and nodded slowly, Finn was right, they had both acted predictably. As Adam looked at Jess, he saw something in the boy’s eyes that told him he had lit a spark there. It was possible that the young man might still help him.

Finn called for them to mount up, and with help from Cory and Jess, Adam managed to get into the saddle. He moaned as he sat up straight.

“What’s wrong?” Finn asked, looking at Adam anxiously.

“You shouldn’t have kicked me so hard,” Adam observed, taking short breaths. “I think you may have broken a couple of ribs.” Adam knew this was not the case, but it wouldn’t hurt for Finn to believe he was more injured than he really was.

“Yeah? That’s too bad.” Finn turned away, apparently not caring to hear about Adam’s troubles, but it had him worried. If Cartwright was hurt, it could slow them down. The only other thing to do was to kill him, but then they would have no protection from the law. Finn decided to wait and see what happened.

It was late afternoon when they stopped again; it appeared that Finn was in no hurry to get wherever he was going. Adam did not know whether Finn knew this country, or had perhaps scouted it out before the robbery, but he knew exactly where the best places were to shelter. They were hidden in amongst some large rocks, surrounded by trees, only yards from a small stream.

With help from Jess, Adam dismounted, straightening up slowly when his feet hit the dirt. Cory took no notice of Adam’s discomfort, but pushed him towards one of the trees growing amongst the rocks. He told Jess to cover their prisoner while he untied Adam’s hands. As the rope came free, Adam groaned and eased his shoulders, his muscles protesting at the unaccustomed movement. Cory told him to sit down in front of the tree, then he pulled Adam’s hands round the trunk and retied the ropes.

“We don’t want you wandering off in the middle of the night, do we?”

Adam looked up into the hard, blue eyes, not bothering to reply. He watched as the men set about making camp, and preparing supper, Jess again doing the cooking. Before Finn settled down to eat, he approached Adam.

“Look, Cartwright, I don’t want you to suffer any more than you have to, but I cain’t let you eat if you cain’t behave, you know that, don’t you?” Finn crouched down in front of Adam and looked at him. He had a sneaking admiration for his prisoner, who had let himself get into this predicament so that his brother might go free. Adam looked straight into his eyes, neither defiant nor afraid, just accepting of the situation.

“OK Finn, you win.” Adam was taking short breaths. His bruised ribs had started protesting as a result of getting down from Sport and being tied as he was. “You must have known that I would have to try something, and I can’t promise you that I won’t try again if the opportunity arises.” He had the feeling the Finn wasn’t going to feed him, whether he behaved or not.

Finn thought about it, then nodded. “OK, how about we call a truce for tonight? You can have as much coffee as you like, but no food. That’s as far as I’m prepared to go. I guess you think that tomorrow we start even.”

Adam’s head and body ached, and he knew that they were far from even, but he wasn’t going to admit it.

“Yeah, let’s see what tomorrow brings,” Adam said.

Finn nodded, went back to the fire, and waited for Jess to finish preparing supper.

They sat off to one side as they ate, and when they had finished, Jess brought some coffee over to Adam, where he sat too far away from the heat of the fire to feel its warmth.

“Finn said you could have some, but if he hears you speak he’ll kill you.” Jess looked intently at Adam. “He means it mister, don’t push him any more.”

Adam nodded, keeping silent. The lack of food and sparse water rations were already having an effect, and he didn’t want to give Finn any excuse to damage him further. He needed to get on the right side of the man as quickly as possible, if he was not to become incapable of taking any action to save himself. He saw Finn watching him and returned the look without flinching. The two men had a grudging respect for each other, which Adam hoped might stop Finn from killing him out of hand if it came to a fight.

As Jess leant close, holding the cup for him to drink, Adam whispered, “Blanket?”

Jess pulled back, startled to hear the voice, but slowly nodded as he put the cup down. He fetched Sport’s saddle blanket, and got a small smile of acknowledgement as he returned to put it round Adam’s shoulders.

Cory, who had been watching Jess, approached him.

“What are you doing?” Cory asked.

“We don’t want him freezing, do we, ain’t no good to us dead,” Jess said reasonably. Cory just looked at him and turned away, as Jess knelt down in front of Adam.

“Do you want more coffee?”

Adam nodded, the more contact he had with this youth, the better were his chances of getting out of this alive.

Gradually, as the camp settled down, Adam felt his head sinking onto his chest. He was wondering what tomorrow would bring, when he fell asleep.
Chapter Six

Earlier that afternoon Ben, Roy, Joe, and Hoss were approaching the line shack. They pulled up among the trees, and sat for a minute observing the building and surrounding yard, but the place looked deserted. When Ben indicated that Hoss should go and have a look around, the big man pressed his horse forward. Hoss was an expert tracker, and they did not want to disturb any signs the men might have left behind, so they watched as Hoss scouted round the area in front of the cabin, They saw him start off into the woods on the far side of the yard. He halted among the trees, then came riding back.

“Pa, I c’n see tracks on the other side of the cabin. Four horses, not goin’ too fast by the look o’ things.”

Joe’s jaw tightened, he knew his brother, the same brother that he had deserted, was riding one of the horses. He turned to his father. “Well, what are we doing sitting here? Let’s go after them.”

Hoss nodded, as he searched again for the trail left by the gang. Ben had started to follow toward the trees, when he pulled up sharply and turned his horse’s head towards the side of the cabin. He dismounted, slowly crouching down over something on the ground. As he rose, Hoss and Joe, who had ridden up behind him, saw that it was a dust covered black hat. Ben held it close to his chest.

“Adam’s,” stated Hoss.

Ben simply nodded. He folded it up and put it safely in his saddlebags, waiting for the time when he could return it to his eldest son. Ben refused to think that he would not have the opportunity to do so. He remounted to follow where Hoss led, into the woods and after a few hundred yards, out onto a clear track, where the trail was easy to follow. Hoss picked up the pace, hoping to catch up with the gang.

When it became too dark to see the trail clearly, Roy insisted that they stop. Joe was about to protest, but when he looked around he could see the sense in waiting for the morning, and daylight. The four men settled down quickly, anxious to make an early start as soon as it was light.

Half an hour after sunrise they were on their way again. Hoss leading, the others following at a short distance. Hoss had no trouble following the gang, they had apparently gone along the track leading down from the mountains, to the west side of the lake. The small posse had been on the move for only a few minutes when Hoss held up his hand to call a halt. He dismounted and crouched down to examine the ground, then rose and walked a little way off the trail, among the rocks. He returned after a few minutes, coming to stand beside his father.

“Looks like they stopped here for a while, there’s a fire been lit.”

Hoss looked back at the ground, where he saw the tracks leading away. He pointed along the trail. “They kept goin’, that way.”

Hoss remounted, and again led the men after their quarry.
Finn had turned west and was leading them slowly towards French Meadows. They were climbing steadily into the mountains when Adam thought that he heard a horse neigh far behind them. He noticed Sport flick his ears back, as though he had also heard the sound. Adam was becoming concerned about Sport, who was showing signs of fatigue, and he wished that he could let the old horse rest for a few hours, but he did not have that luxury. As he watched, he again saw Sport’s ears move and strained his own to catch any sound. Adam looked at Finn and Cory, who were deep in conversation in front of him. It seemed that they were arguing about the best way to go to get to their destination. He took a careful glance round to look at Jess, who appeared to be taking little notice of what was happening around him.

Adam was desperately trying to think of a way to slow them down, so that whoever was behind them might be able to catch up. It could be Roy with a posse, and if Adam could make Finn stop somewhere that he had not planned, it might give Roy enough of an advantage that he could capture the gang.

Adam made a decision. If he fell from his horse, it would mean that they would have to stop, at least for a few minutes while they got him remounted, maybe for longer if he could make it difficult enough for them. He studied the ground, thinking that the grass at the side of the trail looked soft enough, he just had to choose his spot carefully. He decided that he should land on his back, since landing face down held the possibility of breaking his ribs, and if he did that, he would not be able to make his escape. No, by landing on his back, he would have the use of his hands to break his fall, and even if he broke his arm or shoulder, he would still be able to run, if the opportunity presented itself.

As he spotted what looked like a large patch of thick grass, Adam again heard the sound of a horse in the distance. This time Cory also heard it and spoke to Finn, who nodded as he kicked his horse into a canter. Adam could see that Cory was about to do the same, and he knew he had to take some action. He groaned realistically as he collapsed sideways out of the saddle, landing on his back on the ground, groaning louder and even more realistically as he felt a searing pain shoot up his arm.

Cory hurriedly dismounted, calling to Finn to wait. Finn turned back and leaped from his horse, coming to stand looking over Cory’s shoulder at Adam, as he lay on the ground. He grabbed hold of the front of Adam’s shirt, pulling him upright, and Adam groaned as he made it to his feet. He staggered against Cory, to let him know how weak his prisoner was. He didn’t have to pretend too much, he felt his whole body trembling.

“Get him back on his horse,” ordered Finn. But Adam wasn’t about to help them, and he pretended to faint, collapsing to the ground. Cory cursed and Finn swore; this was the last thing they needed. Jess just sat on his horse, laughing quietly to himself, Finn was always in control of any situation, but now it seemed he was at a loss to know what to do. Should he leave Cartwright where he was, or kill him, or try to take him along with them? Jess reckoned they should leave him and get away, but no one was going to ask him for his opinion and he didn’t offer it.

Cory turned angrily to Finn. “I told you to give him some food, but you wouldn’t listen would you? You were determined to show him who was boss, that he couldn’t outsmart you. Well now you’ve done it for him.”

Finn just glared at Cory and then down at Adam, as he lay at their feet.

“Guess he just weren’t as strong as I figured,” said Finn trying to defend his actions, then he and Cory each hooked a hand under Adam’s arms, and dragged him across the hard ground to a collection of small boulders among the scattered trees off to one side of the trail, where they could find some shelter. Adam gritted his teeth and held his breath, the pain was excruciating as they pulled on his arms, making the ropes tighten round what he guessed was a broken wrist. As they dropped him on the ground, Adam couldn’t prevent a moan escaping his lips as he landed.

Adam’s eyes were half open as they met Finn’s, which were looking down on him. Without saying anything Finn brought back his foot and kicked Adam’s side, between his ribs and his hip. Adam grunted but the kick held no real force, Finn was just making a point, not wanting to do any damage.

“Damn you,” said Finn as he turned away, going to stand beside Cory, looking out over the boulders at the road they had just travelled.

Adam eased himself up to sit against a rock, his breath coming in short gasps, reflecting the pain he felt. He took stock of his condition, the cuts and bruises on his head were still throbbing, his shoulders were still stiff, his ribs were bruised but not broken, but he had apparently broken his wrist when he fell. He was also thirsty, very hungry, and trembling most of the time. All in all he felt terrible, but knew that if he had to, he could make a run for it.

“What do we do now, Finn?” asked Cory.

“We might as well stop here for a while, have something to eat and then ride through the afternoon. We should be there by dark.”

“What if there’s somebody following us?

Finn looked round at Adam. “They won’t stop us while we got him.”

“Yeah, let’s hope you’re right.” Cory went in search of Jess, who was about to tie the horses among the trees.

“Finn says to stop here for some food, get going,” Cory ordered. Jess shrugged his shoulders, and went to start a fire.

“Hold it,” ordered Hoss, raising his head as he pulled up. They could hear him sniffing. “Smell that?” he asked.

The other three sampled the air and nodded. Smoke.

They all dismounted and edged slowly forward, until they could hear muffled voices. When Roy ordered them to stop, they gathered behind a small heap of boulders.

“We may have found them. Joe, can you go up this hill a ways, so you can get a look down on them?” asked Roy and Joe nodded. He went carefully, keeping his eyes on the rocks where he felt the men might be hiding. As he reached the top of the hill, he saw them to the left, below his position. His expression hardened as he spotted his brother sitting against a rock, his head was down as though he was asleep, and Jess was sitting near him. Joe could not see Finn or Cory, but assumed they were there as four horses stood nearby. He made a note of a few landmarks to get his bearings, then started back down the hill. Before he reached the safety of the boulders behind which the others were sheltering a shot rang out, splintering wood off a tree trunk beside his head. Joe ducked and covered the last few yards at a dead run, finally throwing himself at his father’s feet.

“We found them,” Joe said unnecessarily, lying on his back, looking up at Ben.

“Sheriff, you hear me?” shouted a voice from the rocks. “You know we got Cartwright here.”

Roy turned towards the voice and shouted back. “Yeah, I know.”

“We’ll kill ‘im if you try to stop us. We’re already wanted for murder, so one more won’t make no difference.”

Ben looked anxiously at the sheriff. “What do you want to do?” He was subconsciously letting Roy make the decision that might cost his son his life.

Roy sat down and put his hand on Ben’s arm. “Ben, believe me they won’t do anything to Adam. A dead hostage is of no use to them.”

“Let’s hope they think that way,” said Ben, praying that Roy was right.

Adam’s head jerked up as he heard the shot. Finn was crouched down behind a small boulder taking aim up the hill, apparently at someone behind similar sized rocks about fifty yards away. Adam heard Finn’s threats shouted to whoever he was shooting at, and when he heard the reply, he knew that it was Roy, hopefully with a posse.

Adam looked round the tumble of rocks and sparse trees in which Finn had taken shelter. Apart from the rocks, there was little cover, it would be impossible for anyone to approach them stealthily. Adam noticed that Finn and Cory were occupied facing the threat from the sheriff. Jess was sitting on the ground behind another rock, holding his gun uncertainly, as though not sure what to do with it, seeming reluctant to use it. Cory looked round at his brother.

“Jess, you keep an eye on him,” he said, pointing his gun in Adam’s direction. Then he moved closer and grabbed hold of the front of Jess’ shirt, pulling his face close. “Don’t let him get away or I’ll kill you,” Cory stated with chilling certainty.

Jess nodded, watched as Cory returned to Finn’s side, and then he looked over at Adam, his gun loosely pointed in the direction of their prisoner.

Behind their shelter of rocks, Ben was arguing with Joe.

“But Pa, I’m sure that I can make it,” Joe insisted.

“I will not risk two of my sons, never.” Ben was just as firm.

Joe quieted his voice and spoke slowly. “Then you would risk Adam’s life just to save mine? I won’t let you do that. How many times has Adam put his life on the line for me, would you deny me the chance to do the same for him?”

“Joe, I can’t lose you as well.” Ben shook his head; he refused to contemplate losing two sons at the same time.

Joe was astounded by his father’s words. “As well! Then you admit that Adam is gonna get killed unless we do something about it.” Joe backed away from his father, he almost felt hatred for the man who had admitted that he would stand by and see one son die in preference to another. Joe knew that he would not let that happen, he was going to do anything he could for his brother, who had put himself at risk so that Joe could be safe. He turned away and started up the hill.

Ben moved to go after him, but Hoss put a hand on his arm to stop him.

“Let him go, he needs to try it.”

Ben stopped struggling against his middle son’s strength, and sat wearily on the ground. “Yes, I know.” He put his head in his hands, trying not to think of what might be going to happen, he didn’t know how he would deal with it.

Joe was planning to approach the gang’s shelter from the far side. There was very little cover, but the men were occupied with what was happening in front of them, and Joe hoped that they might be careless enough not to guard their backs.

Adam had been studying the lie of the land at the rear of their refuge, and he thought that if he could make a run for it he might get as far as the shelter of some larger trees. That would be far enough, as Finn and Cory could not come after him without exposing themselves to the guns of the posse.

Adam noted that Jess had his head down, as though he did not want to be part of what was happening, so he started to ease towards a gap in the rocks that would allow him to take off. When he saw Jess’ head come up he stopped, but was surprised when the young man jerked his head towards the rear of the camp. Adam paused, then nodded, and moved more quickly round the rock. As soon as he thought it was safe, he struggled to his feet and ran.

His legs threatened to give way as soon as he started to run. The trees seemed very distant, but fear of discovery gave him strength, and he managed to stay on his feet. Suddenly he saw Joe burst from behind the trees, and Adam wanted to shout a warning to him, but no sound came, he was using all his breath for running. He heard gunfire, and as Joe fell backwards Adam could see the telltale stain on his brother’s shirtfront. Joe had been shot. Adam stopped running, looking in horror at the limp body on the ground before him, then he turned back towards the rocks he had just left. He saw Finn and Cory both standing, aiming straight at him. He knew that he should try to get out of the way, but the sight of his brother lying on the ground filled his mind, and he did not move. Adam was conscious of a pounding in his head, then he saw Finn and Cory fire, and felt a searing pain in his back and his thigh.

He felt as though he was floating, hanging in the air, only to come crashing down to the ground a second later. He lay there unable to move, as far as he knew he had no body to move. He was lying on his back looking up at the sky through the dark green pine needles and rough brown branches. He saw white clouds above him and thought that he might reach out to touch them, forgetting for the moment that his hands were tied, but his brain could not command his muscles to move. A tear crept down the side of his face to settle in his hair, he wanted the clouds, he wanted the peace they promised him. Adam didn’t know how he could continue to live if Joe had tried to save him, and had paid with his life.

Faces that he recognised as his father and Roy, appeared in the small circle that was Adam’s vision.

“Pa,” he whispered. “Pa, I’m sorry.” He saw his pain reflected in his father’s eyes, and escaped it the only way he could, in oblivion.
Chapter Seven

Adam realised that he was awake only when he heard muffled voices. As always, hearing was the first sense to return, but he could not have said when it had done so. He did not understand what they were saying, but the fact that he could hear them meant that he was conscious.

He stopped trying to listen, exploring his body instead. He had a headache and for a moment he concentrated on it, but then tried to place the other pains that he felt. His mind drifted slowly down his body stopping at the back of his right shoulder, which seemed to hurt a little. As he tried moving it, the agonising pain that the action caused made him cry out. He felt someone take hold of his hand, but lacked the strength to open his eyes to see who was there. He felt them wipe a cooling cloth over his forehead, and was grateful for their presence.

He remained still, until the pain in his shoulder eventually faded into a dull ache that throbbed in time with the beating of his heart. His mind wandered further, encountering a pain in his left wrist. He tried to move his hand but something held it firmly, so that he couldn’t do more than flex his fingers. He became aware of a pain in his leg and he let his mind travel down to assess what threat it might be. It was a sharp burning pain, but like the other injuries, he felt that if he did not move he would be able to manage it. Finally, he turned his mind outwards to the room.

He realised that he was lying on a bed, it was soft beneath him, and he felt warm. He saw, through eyes that he forced open slightly, that he was in his old room at the Ponderosa. The light in the room was subdued, it was either early morning or late afternoon, but he had no way of telling which it might be. He allowed his eyes to sweep the room without turning his head. He recognised the two men who stood beside his bed, his father and Doctor Paul Martin.

They were talking quietly together, not realising that Adam could hear them.

“Will you tell him?” asked Paul.

“Not until he’s stronger. It’s going to be a shock for him, as it was to all of us.” Ben shook his head sadly.

“He gave his life to save Adam.”

Ben nodded. “I know, and Adam’ll never forgive himself.”

Adam held his breath, what were they saying? Who had died? As the scene in the forest came rushing back at him, he realised that it could only be Joe! Adam remembered vividly the image of his brother dropping to the ground. He pictured Finn and Cory aiming at himself, then he recalled the shots and the pain as they hit him, but for a moment he could not understand why, if he was facing them as they fired, he should have felt the bullet hit his shoulder from behind. Adam put that tantalising mystery at the back of his mind, knowing that he would find a solution later.

Adam could remember little after that, only snatches of a difficult journey back to the Ponderosa. What had happened to Finn and Cory, and Jess? If the older men had survived, Adam swore to himself that they would pay for what they had done to Joe. They would know what terror was when Adam went after them. Wherever they were they would not be safe from his anger and bitterness, he would be an avenging angel visiting his own brand of retribution on them, and they would wish they were dead long before he gave them that release.

When Adam again felt the soothing cloth on his forehead, he turned his head slowly and saw his father smiling at him. How could he smile, knowing that Joe was dead? Of course, thought Adam, his love for all his sons would not let Ben show him how upset he was, knowing how Adam must be hurting. Adam held out his hand, gritting his teeth against the pain in his shoulder. Ben took his hand and held it, as Adam squeezed it as tight as he could.

“Pa,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.” It was all he could say, he was sorry for getting into this mess in the first place, sorry for getting Joe killed, sorry for living in his stead, and sorry that his father had to live through it. He wanted to say so much more but couldn’t find the strength.

“Adam, you have nothing to be sorry about.” Ben ran his hand over Adam’s forehead, and he used a cloth to bathe away the dampness he felt there.

Adam felt an overwhelming love for this man, who was trying to take away his guilt.

“Joe…” Adam wasn’t sure how to comfort his father; he hadn’t the strength for many words.

“Joe can’t come right now, you just rest.”

Suddenly Adam was angry with his father. Why did he have to treat him like a child? Why couldn’t he say straight out that Joe couldn’t come, because he was dead, didn’t he realise that Adam knew what had happened? He’d seen it with his own eyes

Adam tried to raise himself off the bed, to tell his father that he didn’t want soothing words, he wanted honesty. As he put pressure on his right arm, he felt as though a spear had been driven through his shoulder blade, and he cried out and lapsed into unconsciousness.

When Adam next woke it was dark outside, soft lamplight fell on the bed, but left most of the room in shadow. He didn’t bother to move his head, but as his eyes examined the part of the room he could see, he thought that he was alone. As the images from his memory filled his mind, he cried out in anger at the unjust God who had allowed him to survive, but had taken his brother instead.

“Why?” he moaned softly, then as his rage took hold of his thoughts, he raised his voice to get the attention of the Gods who had deserted him, “What evil have I done to deserve this?!” He didn’t know at that moment if he had the courage to go on living, knowing that his life had been purchased with such precious currency

His head tossed back and forth on the pillows, causing sharp pains to run through his shoulder and into his chest, until his whole body tensed with the agony. He fought against the tightness that was claiming his breathing, but his mind would not allow him to rest. Suddenly he was startled as he felt a hand on his forehead, and he tried to raise his head from the bed to see who was with him. As he caught sight of Becky, he tried to speak to her, but the agony intensified so that he couldn’t talk, and again blackness crept over him, snatching him back away from the pain.

Becky looked behind her, at her father-in-law.

“Ben, what did he mean?” said Becky, remembering Adam’s shouted words.

“I have no idea, but I don’t think you need to worry too much what he says at the moment. Wait until he is more lucid and then, if you need to, you can ask him to explain.” Becky looked round as Ben put his hand on her shoulder to reassure her. She covered his hand with hers. “Of course, thank you. I just want him to get better.”

“I know, and he will, it will just take a little while. He’s getting stronger all the time.” Ben reminded her.

“He doesn’t know, does he, about…?”

“No, I haven’t had a chance to tell him. I thought it best to wait a while, he’s going to be very upset, and he doesn’t need that right now.”

Becky nodded in agreement, as Ben made his way to the door.

“I’ll go and see to the children, you stay here.” Becky smiled her thanks and turned back to the motionless figure of her husband.

Becky’s head was dropping with sleep when her brother-in-law put his hand on her shoulder, then went to sit in the chair on the other side of the bed. “You should get some decent sleep.”

Becky smiled. “I will, soon.” She drew her breath in sharply as she looked towards Adam. He was lying looking at her.

As Adam came back to consciousness, his mind fashioned images of Heaven, thinking that Joe would find his mother there, and Adam took comfort in that small blessing. When he opened his unfocused eyes, he thought that he was looking at the face of an angel. Then as he turned his head, his vision sharpened and he recognised Joe sitting beside him. Adam knew then that he must have died as well, and joined Joe in whatever afterlife had claimed him. He was vaguely surprised, he hadn’t realised that he was that badly injured. He spared a thought for his father who had now been deprived of two sons, how would he cope with that shattering loss?

Adam tried to raise his head, but as he did so, he again felt the pain in his back and chest. His mind screamed, surely if this was Heaven there should be no pain, then was this Hell? He looked again at the faces on either side of him, and knew that such beauty would not be tolerated in the realms of Darkness. No, something was very wrong.

Joe saw the puzzled look that came over his brother’s face. “Adam?”

At that moment, Ben came to stand behind Becky at the side of the bed. Adam became even more bewildered, had his father died as well, had an epidemic struck his family? Adam realised that he was fully awake, and his logical mind started to analyse the problem. Two people, whom he knew now as his wife and father, were beside him and appeared to be alive, as they should. He felt pain, so therefore he was not dead. The logical conclusion was that the figure he saw beside the bed was in fact his brother, very much alive. His mind reeled in shock as he reached out, ignoring the pain in his shoulder. Joe held the hand that moved towards him on the bed.

“Hi, Adam, how’re you feeling?” asked Joe.

“Joe…?” Adam whispered.

“Yeah, it’s me.” Joe said a little puzzled. Adam’s mouth worked but no sound came so Joe poured him a glass of water and tried to get his brother to drink, but Adam groaned as he moved, he could not raise his head.

Ben leaned towards him so that Adam could see him as he spoke. “Adam, I’m going to put some pillows behind you so you can sit up a bit. You need to drink, and to eat something. It’s going to hurt but we’ll be as quick as we can, all right?” Adam nodded, so Ben and Joe supported him while Becky shifted the pillows. Adam cried out and gritted his teeth, but smiled gratefully at them when they settled him back in a more comfortable position. Having managed to drink some water, he turned to Joe, whose right arm was supported by a sling.

“I thought…I saw you…why aren’t you dead?” asked Adam quietly.

“What!” exclaimed Joe.

“I heard Pa and Paul, they said you’d died.” Adam shook his head slowly, he clearly remembered the whispered words.

Ben came closer to the bed, looking down into Adam’s eyes. “Son, we never said that, you must have been dreaming.”

Adam spoke slowly as he recalled the words he had heard. “No, I was awake. Paul said, ‘he gave his life to save Adam’, I heard him, and then you told me that Joe couldn’t come here.” Adam wouldn’t believe that he had been dreaming, it had been too real, and he was afraid that if that was a dream then so might this be.

“Oh no,” said Ben, realising what had happened. He sat on the bed as he took Adam’s hand. “Son, we weren’t talking about Joe.”

Adam’s mind gradually registered that his father hadn’t denied saying it, only that he hadn’t said it about Joe.

“Then who…?”

Ben hung his head. “Adam, son, I’m sorry. It was Sport.”

“No!” exclaimed Adam. He shut his eyes, he didn’t understand what had happened, and needed his father to explain it to him. He turned his eyes to Ben. “Tell me, all of it.”

“There’s not much to tell. Joe decided to approach the gang’s shelter from the rear, then you were running towards him and he tried to cover your escape, but he took a bullet in the shoulder. You stopped and turned back, I don’t know what you were going to do, but Finn and Cory had the drop on you, you would have been killed. Then Sport appeared from among the trees at a full gallop, and knocked you out of the way as Finn and Cory fired. One of the shots caught you in the leg, the other hit Sport, but he kept going. He trampled Cory before Finn shot him again, and killed him. When he hit you he must have broken your shoulder blade, but he saved your life.”

Adam was shocked into silence, and turned his face away from his father, as the lump in his throat threatened to choke him.

“Would you all… just leave me alone for a minute.” His voice was tight and low as he tried to control himself. They all stood, reluctantly doing as he requested. Once he was alone, Adam let the tears fall.

Sport had been Adam’s faithful mount ever since his father had given him the horse, when he graduated from college. They had been through so much together, a partnership of nearly twenty years, years of trust and companionship. Adam was not as outwardly affectionate to his horse as Joe was to Cochise, but he did love him, though it had never occurred to him that the horse might feel the same. And yet, he had given his life to save Adam’s.

Adam felt the tears flow down his cheeks as he relived in his memory times they had shared, some good, some bad, but always together. Adam’s tears burned as he thought of Sport’s last days, being dragged behind Cory, getting more and more tired as they went on. But still he had charged down the guns that were aimed at his master. Adam wondered what it was that would drive an animal to do such a thing, and then realised that it was the same emotion that drove a human. Love.
Chapter Eight

Three weeks later, Adam rode Fiddler out to Lake Tahoe. He had been back at work doing the Ponderosa bookkeeping for several days, but this morning he had decided that he would take some time off. His right arm was in a sling to give his shoulder some measure of rest, which sitting writing did not allow, and his left wrist was heavily bandaged. He knew he should not be out riding, but he needed to get away, to find the solitude that would let him sort out the thoughts that had been troubling him.

The day was warm and bright, the slight chill in the air that had greeted the fall dawn had gone as the temperature rose with the sun. Adam took his time getting to the lake, remembering days when he had ridden there on Sport. If he shut his eyes, he could imagine that he was again on the tall sorrel, because Fiddler was very like his old companion, which was probably why Adam liked him.

He pulled up as he approached the lake, tied Fiddler to a fallen tree trunk where he would have grass to graze, then slowly made his way down onto the shore, where a sandy beach stretched away on both sides. The soft sand made it difficult to walk smoothly and had started his leg hurting, so he sat down on the long grass under the trees at the edge of the beach. He stared across the lake at the mountains and forest on the west side, thinking that somewhere over there was where Sport had died. Adam was glad that the horse had not been left prey to predators, but had been given a fitting end. Hoss and Ben had built a pyre for him before returning home.

Adam had many thoughts going through his head as he sat there. He had been given his brother back and he was grateful for that, but he felt guilty about his reaction to discovering that Sport had died instead. He remembered thinking that if Joe had died he would make Finn and Cory pay for killing him, regardless of the consequences to himself of such a lawless act. But would he take the same action to avenge Sport? Fortunately, perhaps, that would not be tested as Sport had killed Cory, and Roy had shot Finn, only Jess surviving the carnage, and soon to stand trial. But Adam knew that the answer was ‘no’, yet the horse had made the same sacrifice, in giving his life for his master. Adam reasoned that Sport was an animal not a person, and could not command the same depth of loyalty as his family. But the horse had given his life to save the man who had ridden him for twenty years, surely he was entitled to some measure of retribution, but Adam knew it wasn’t possible. It would be a long time before he could rationalise his feelings about the situation.

Ever since he had started to recover from his injuries, Adam had been considering what he should do with the life that had been given back to him. It became the same dilemma that he had had before he was abducted, he felt there should be more to his life, though now it was because he wanted to justify his survival. But he hadn’t been able to think of what he wanted before all this happened, and it was no easier now. Suddenly he stood and stared at the water gently lapping against the shore, as his mind ran over the events of those days. He had an idea forming, and needed to get home to talk to his family about it. He almost ran to Fiddler, arriving back at home before his plan had taken its final form in his mind.

He limped quickly into the house calling to his wife. “Becky, Becky, where are you?”

Becky appeared at the top of the stairs. “What is it, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Get the children ready, we’re going to the Ponderosa.”

“I will do no such thing. I’ve just got them settled, Alice is asleep and Josh and Elizabeth are not for from it,” Becky protested.

“Oh.” Adam hadn’t realised how late it was.

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” Must we go now?”

“No, I suppose we don’t have to go.”

Becky could see that he was disappointed, but she refused to disturb the children without an explanation. “Why do you want to go in such a rush?”

“It doesn’t matter. It may be better to wait until tomorrow anyway, give me a chance to think.” Adam turned away, already lost in his thoughts.

As Becky prepared supper, Adam discarded the sling, going to sit at his desk in the study, writing copious notes and calculations. When Becky called him to the table, she could see that as he ate, his mind was elsewhere, and as soon as he had finished eating, Adam went back to his work. After she had cleared the supper dishes, Becky came up behind her husband, gently putting her arms round his shoulders.

“You should be resting, you know. You’ve ridden a long way today and not given your shoulder a chance to recover, sitting writing like this.” Adam turned towards her, she was right his shoulder and leg both ached, but he had been too engrossed in his plans to notice. He rose and drew her with him, towards the sofa in the parlour.

Becky sat close to Adam. “Do you want to tell me what is on your mind?” she asked.

“Yes, I guess it might help to get the idea clear in my head.” As he settled back on the sofa, he pulled Becky across his lap, so that she was lying in the crook of his left arm, looking up at him.

“Do you remember me telling you about Jess?” Becky nodded, so Adam continued. “Well, I was thinking about him today, how he had only got involved in robbing the bank in the first place because Cory made him do it. Cory had been dictating his life ever since their mother died. But how different it would have been for him if he had had other people to guide him, show him the right way to live his life.

“Suppose that I could find people who would take in children, of any age, who needed that sort of guidance, not to adopt them but to be surrogate parents, to help and advise them until they were old enough to take care of themselves. They might not even be orphans, but just children who needed adults to stand behind them and give them the confidence to face the world, to give them a knowledge of right from wrong.”

Becky sat up and looked at her husband, her face full of admiration. “Adam, that’s brilliant.”

“I will have to speak to Joe and Hoss, and I would like my father’s advice as well, but tomorrow will be soon enough.” He bent his head to kiss his wife, but before their lips met, he jerked his head up as he felt the familiar pain in the back of his shoulder.

“You are going to bed to rest, otherwise you will be not be going anywhere,” Becky ordered, and despite his protests, ten minutes later Adam was face down in bed, Becky massaging the tense muscles in his back.

“So you think it will work?” asked Adam sleepily, still thinking of his scheme.

“Yes of course, now stop talking and go to sleep, or I won’t let you out of the house tomorrow.”

“Oh? And you think you can stop me, do you?”

“Yes, because at this moment I’m fitter than you.” said Becky, as she pushed a little harder on his shoulder to emphasise the point, making Adam raise his head at the unexpected pain that the pressure had caused. Becky was satisfied with the reaction. “See what I mean?”

“Oh yes, I see.” Adam suddenly turned over, grabbed Becky’s arms, and forced her down onto the bed beside him. “Now I’m going to show you just how fit I am.”

Becky laughed as she put her arms round his neck, and pulled him towards her.

The next morning, Adam repeated to his father and brothers the idea he had outlined to Becky.

“It will mean that, at least in the beginning, I will be away from the ranch occasionally, just until I can find the right people to run the scheme.”

“That’s OK, as long as we know when you’ll be gone, we can cover for you,” said Joe.

“Yeah, no problem there,” agreed Hoss.

“I am still capable of filling in for you, you know,” added Ben.

“Just so long as you don’t desert us completely,” said Joe.

“No danger of that, I don’t want the old homestead to fall into rack and ruin,” laughed Adam. He looked at his family who were giving so generously of their efforts in order that he could turn his plan into reality. It made him realise how much he wanted others to be able to enjoy this feeling of having people who would stand behind you, and support you in your endeavours.

Ben had a question. “Are you going to pay these people to look after the children?”

“I will only pay them keep for their charges and a small sum for themselves. If I pay them too much, I suspect that we will get people who only want to do it for the money, and I need those who will do it for love. They won’t be easy to find, but they’re out there somewhere.”

Ben nodded, he could see the sense in that. “And how are you going to finance this?”

“I’m going to use the money I got from selling grandfather’s business to set up a trust fund and investments. That will provide enough money to care for thirty children.”

“Thirty!” Ben was surprised, he had not thought of it being so many. “That’s wonderful.”

“It’s a drop in the ocean compared to what needs doing, but it is a start.”

Ben raised his coffee cup in salute to his eldest son. “Boys, a toast. To your brother, my son, whose heart is big enough to encompass not only his family, but thirty children besides.” Joe and Hoss joined their father, raising their cups to Adam in acknowledgement.

Adam looked down, feeling embarrassed at the undeserved praise from his father, then he stood and faced them. “This all started when I became dissatisfied with my life. Joe and Hoss demonstrated how much they cared about me by trying to show me that I was needed. That it turned out so costly couldn’t have been foreseen, and does not alter what they tried to do. But the events that followed meant that I was given back a life that should have been lost, and I decided that I should do something worthwhile with it. The fact that it was given to me by my horse does not in any way change the responsibility I feel to use that life wisely. I was dissatisfied because I could see no purpose to my life, now I have that purpose, and I would like you to toast the one responsible. Gentlemen, remember Sport, the unlooked for saviour.”

The End

Diana Golding
May 2002

Next Story in the Memories of Love Series:

To Rage in Heaven