Summary: The day a balding, middle-aged, B-movie actor became a legend in the making. (Written in the style of Lorne Greene’s Number One hit recording of “Ringo”)
Rating: G Word Count: 203
Becoming Ben Cartwright
(aka The Ballad of Lorne Greene)
He stood six feet in his stockings bare
With a furrowed brow and thinning hair
Some doubted he could play the lead,
Then he picked up the script and began to read.
A baritone rumble shook the room;
The Voice of Canada, the Voice of Doom —
(Lorne Greene…Lorne Greene…)
Jaws went slack when he reached the end;
The producer smiled, “The part’s yours, friend.
We’ll get you in wardrobe right away;
With a vest and a hat and a good toupee,
Some hand tooled boots, a holster and gun,
You’ll make a great Pa to three fine sons.
This show’s a bonanza and you’ll be a star,
With fans galore and a new Chevy car,
Viewed by millions on weekly TV
In bright living color on NBC.
Your day has arrived; you’re destined for fame!
Just sign on the line where we’ve printed your name.”
Fortune smiled, and so did the man
Perusing the contract in his hand.
The words seemed clear, their meaning plain,
Then a dark brow raised; one thing remained…
“It’s ‘Greene’ with an ‘e”, not green as in pea.”
And the rest, as they say, is history.
Lorne Greene…Lorne Greene…
(Jingle spurs, repeat and fade….)