Summary:   My entry for the April Literary Challenge…with a few additions.  A missing scene from Dark Star.  Ever wondered why Ben was so calm when Joe said he wanted to marry Tirza?  Read on…

Word Count:  1510  Rated: K+

                                                                           A Father’s Dilemma

It had been a strange and unusual time for us all on the ranch since Joe and me first come across that pretty gypsy gal called Tirza running scared across our land.

Did I say they was unusual days?  More like bizarre and unlike anything us Cartwrights had ever known or experienced before!  

Full moon nonsense of worshipping heathen gods, chicken feathers scattered all over the living room floor and blood daubed everywhere.  Plus there was the ritual exorcism, nearly carried out on an ostracised Tirza by her own people to rid her of the evil she supposedly possessed!

But thankfully it was all behind us now since that hogwash about Tirza being a witch had been cleared up and she’d been proved to be as sane as the rest of us.  And as I leaned on the corral fence I couldn’t help but grin with delight.  For after sitting by her bedside Joe had just left a sleeping Tirza for a few minutes to tell me he’d decided to ask for Pa’s blessing to wed that little gal. 

And while I watched him disappear quickly back through the front door of the house I could feel a warm glow spreading throughout my insides. Little Joe was well and truly in love.  In fact I’d never seen him so animated…so totally smitten with a female!

Sworn to secrecy and excited at the news I couldn’t help but continue to beam a huge grin and was just about to get on with my early morning chores when I noticed Pa walking across the yard from the direction of the kitchen.

I don’t know if he’d even noticed me but suddenly the smile on my face faded away and my heart sank within me. Something was wrong. Very wrong. 

With his hands pushed down deep into his pockets, Pa’s broad shoulders were uncharacteristically hunched; his expression grim. I followed him inside the barn where he’d sat down dejectedly on a bale of straw.

I swallowed nervously. “Pa? Is something wrong? You feelin’ okay?” I asked as I moved towards him.

Pa gave a hardly discernable nod and remained silent; his deep brown eyes glistening watery as he stared straight ahead, though his gaze was fixed on nothin’ in particular.

I cautiously sat down by his side and studied him closely for a few moments. His face appeared slightly paler than usual, though his jaw was darkened with stubble and I guessed he hadn’t slept much that night as he clenched his fists tight on his lap.

He continued to sit this way without a word; his lips pursed while deep in thought, totally ignoring my presence. Then after what seemed an interminable time but was probably only a few minutes it eventually came to a point where I couldn’t stand the quiet or being paid no heed any longer. “Come on Pa…what’s botherin’ you?”

As though suddenly realising I was there in a flash Pa looked me straight in the eye and began to deny anything was wrong; there was nothing particular on his mind.

But then he gave a rueful smile and patted my arm apologetically. “Sorry Hoss. If you must know I’m a little worried.”  I frowned quizzically and he gave a heartfelt sigh. “No. That’s not the whole truth.  Fact is I’m a whole lot worried…about Joseph and Tirza.”

I felt a coldness grip my chest. “But why Pa?  That gypsy gal seems to have a real soft spot for little brother.  And I’ve just spoken to Joe and I’ve never known him happier. In fact from what he told me the pair of them have become real good friends now.”

Pa nodded. “Yes…I know son. But I have a feeling it’s become more than friendship.”  Then as he continued his gloomy expression didn’t alter.  “This may come as a shock to you Hoss but I really think your brother might just ask Tirza to marry him.  And if truth be told I don’t know if…”

Pa’s voice trailed off and I didn’t have the heart to tell him Joe had already divulged this piece of information ‘cause his voice was shakin’, making him sound more like a nervous little kid than the strong willed father I’d always known. It unnerved me; made me anxious all of a sudden, and I found myself swallowing an unrelenting lump in my throat. “What you tryin’ to say Pa? Don’t you want Joe to marry Tirza?  I thought you liked that little gal?”

Pa looked at me then all serious like. “Oh I do like her Hoss. I’ve grown to like her a lot and after all she’s gone through I think she’s turned into a fine young woman.  But…but Joe’s so young and he’s only known her for a few days. Surely that can’t be long enough for him to know she’s the one?”

Recalling the look of devotion on my little brother’s face minutes before I tried to sound as positive as I could.  “But if Joe’s in love as much as you think, he must believe she’s the one Pa, and no mistake!”

Pa frowned and shook his head. “But what if it doesn’t work out between them Hoss?  Could they really have a future together coming from such different backgrounds?” he asked in a sad, edgy sort of voice.  “Joe’s bound to ask for my blessing and the thought of your brother eventually having an irretrievably broken heart because I agreed to let him have his way…I just don’t know what to do for the best.”

He broke off; obviously hating the sound of the uneasy tremor in his voice and now simply unable to say another word.

I took an anxious gulp. It weren’t usually my job to hand out advice, especially to my Pa, but things had to be said and fast. “You know I’ve never had much experience with women, not like Adam or Joe.  But from what I’ve noticed with those two is lovin’ can be a bit like gambling,” I interrupted nervously, quickly gaining confidence as I saw Pa for once hanging onto my every word. “Sometimes you win…sometimes you lose. But unless you take the risk you’ll never know how things would turn out, one way or the other, for better or worse.”

Pa narrowed his eyes. I half expected him to argue the point with me but instead he just nodded his head thoughtfully so I folded my arms over my chest and continued with my ramblings. “And do you think for one doggone minute Pa, even if you don’t agree to let Joe wed that little gal, the way he feels about her he’d just go off and marry her anyhow?”

There was a long, tense silence, and then Pa forced a smile onto his face. “I’m sure you’re quite right Hoss. Knowing your brother like I do I expect he would; and without a second thought.”  Then he chuckled and shot me a sheepish look. “Just as I would have done at his age.”

I raised my eyebrows in surprise.  “You Pa? You’d have gone and eloped regardless of what your father would say?”

“If I was young and hopelessly in love like your brother seems to be, without a doubt,” Pa responded, then with his face awash with emotion, he stared at me intently, as if seeing me in a different light for the very first time.

I looked at him with slight surprise and absently brushed a hand across my face. “What’s the matter Pa? Is there a dirty mark on my nose?”

Pa gently laughed and placed his arm around my shoulders and gave me a loving squeeze.  “No son. No dirty mark, but I have a feeling this won’t be the last time I’ll come to rely on you for your wise advice.  Thank you.”

I must have positively glowed with pride as I felt my face reddening into a hot blush. Praise like that from Pa was not easily or often earned.  “Ah shucks Pa. It weren’t nothin’. And after all that’s been going on around here lately, it ain’t a wonder you couldn’t think as clearly or straight as usual.” 

Then I tried to shrug off my embarrassment as nonchalantly as I could. “So what you gonna do about Joe?”

Pa smiled and rubbed his stubbly chin. “Think I’d first better go have me a shave.  I have a feeling your brother is going to ask me something special before Tirza wakes up so I want to look my best during breakfast when I give him the answer he wants to hear.”

Then with that Pa gave me a thankful smile before standing up, straightening his back and with a sense of purpose turning and walking back into the house.  And as I watched him retrace his steps a smile once more unashamedly covered my face, and I began to unconsciously whistle ‘Here comes the Bride’ in the early morning air. 

Weddings…I just love ‘em!

The End