Summary: It’s up to on of the boys to keep Christmas alive during a dark time on the Ponderosa.
Written for day 15 of the 2021 Advent Calendar.
Rating: G
Word Count: 2989

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Bonanza
~*~*~ Advent Calendar ~*~*~
* Day 15*

The Boy Who Kept Christmas Alive

 

Hoss slammed the kitchen door behind him, pulled off his thick gloves and stamped the snow from his boots. The raw air had followed him into the house, and he moved to the fire to warm his frozen hands. He came to an abrupt halt. The kitchen fire had been left to burn to ash and looking around, he saw the lunch dishes were still piled unwashed by the sink.

“Dadburnit!”

Adam had only asked their pa to do one thing today. One thing. Prepare lunch for him and Hoss. Was it too much to ask when they were out in the freezing temperatures from dawn to dusk keeping the herd alive?

After a long, frustrated breath, Hoss marched into the living area.

Pa was asleep in his chair. Wearing his familiar worn bath robe, slippers upon his feet, his arms were wrapped around five-year-old Joe, who had clearly tried to escape his father’s clutches, and failed. The boy had squirmed himself to sleep. Hoss took one look at them and hung his head, his momentary burst of irritation melting away.

It was not yet a year since Marie had been killed in the yard outside the house. And Pa had all but given up on life. His days were spent clad in the robe Hoss had long begun to resent, moving from his bedroom to the living area, his zest and love for life obliterated the moment Marie had tumbled from her horse. His one solace was the small boy who was all that was left of his beloved Marie. Adam had become the de facto head of what had once been a growing ranch. Now it took every waking moment for Adam, with eleven-year-old Hoss’s help, to keep the animals fed and healthy, as well as keeping the house from falling down around their ears. Little Joe had gone from being an excitable, spirited bundle of energy, to a subdued withdrawn child. Hoss and Adam spent what little time they could with him, but the boy now spent too much time alone, or in the stifling company of his over-protective father.

The living room fire had also burned low, so Hoss took care to move quietly pass his sleeping father and brother and position a fresh log on the dying flames. He stirred some air into the fire and watched as a new flame started to flicker. The log pile was running low. Hoss would have to chop more wood. Yet another thing to add to the never-ending list.

As he straightened up, he looked around the room, noticing the spreading shadows as the late afternoon’s light faded. It was a week until Christmas and the room looked bare, uninviting. Like every day since Marie died.

And as Hoss stood in the darkening room, an idea began to form that filled him with an unwavering resolve. The pinched, heavy appearance he had worn for so long momentarily lightened into a wide gap-toothed smile that bunched his cheeks. For the first time in months, he felt a smattering of optimism warm his veins. He felt so certain of what he needed to do that the idea of eating went clean out of his head.

Hoss turned on his heel and walked straight out of the house to the barn. There he grabbed an axe, a lamp, and a coil of rope. He was relieved Adam was out on the range somewhere. He didn’t want questions, or any attempt made to deter him from his task.

And with a determined step, Hoss tramped out into the nearby forest.

***

Night had fallen by the time Hoss returned home. As he approached the house, he could see Adam silhouetted in the doorway, peering out into the blackness for his missing brother. The snow had started to fall again, making his trudge back to the house longer than expected, but an energy was surging through his veins and Hoss couldn’t keep the grin from his face.

“Hey, Adam, grab yer coat and come give me a hand, would ya!”

Hoss saw a frown pass over his brother’s face as he pulled on a coat from the rack behind the door.

“Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick. I was about to set out looking for you.”

But then Adam’s concerned frown faded when he saw what Hoss was dragging along behind him.

“You got a tree!”

There in the snow was a pine tree with a bundle of boughs strapped to the top. Hoss had tied a rope around his waist to drag the tree behind him.

“Well, dadburnit, no one else was going to, were they. You’re too busy, Joe’s too little and…” He stopped and his eyes flicked up to his pa’s room where a faint light glowed. “Well, I jest figured we needed a tree.”

He grinned at Adam who stood speechless for a moment. But Hoss’s enthusiasm was contagious, and Adam reached out to slap Hoss’s arm.

“Well, let’s get it inside, shall we.”

Half an hour later, a tall pine stood at the side of the hearth, a little lop-sided, and still wet from its journey in the snow, but already a smell of fresh earthy forest brought warmth and calmness to all who stood before it. The long boughs of pine were draped along the mantel.

Little Joe had become over-excited when he saw his two older brothers dragging the tree through the door, and for the first time in many months, he had skipped and jumped around the room. The noise had roused their rumpled-haired father from his room and even he had briefly smiled at his youngest’s exuberance.

Now they all sat at the dining table—eating the dinner Adam had prepared after his day with the herd—barely noticing the food but staring at the tree. All except Pa who kept his head lowered, nibbling on the food set before him. Joe sat jiggling with excitement, and no one had the heart to tell him to settle down whilst at the table.

Hoss swallowed a mouthful of beef stew. “Where are the ornaments, Pa? They ain’t in the attic.”

Ben looked up. “I think they’re in the barn. We were clearing out the attic when…” He stopped, his eyes staring into the middle distance. The boys lowered their forks and exchanged glances, but then their father roused himself. “We were clearing out the loft when your mother died.” He cleared his throat. “We’d put everything in the barn for safe-keeping when the roof developed that leak.”

It was the most he’d had said in a long time.

Adam nodded as his father returned his attention to his plate. “We fixed the roof, but I guess we left some of the things in the barn. We’ll look tomorrow.”

Hoss lay down his knife and fork. “If you don’t mind, I think I’m gonna go look now.”

“Me too!” piped up Little Joe. “I wanna go looking too.”

“No!” Ben’s retort was sharper than it needed to be. “You’re not going outside at this hour, Joseph.”

Joe’s head dropped as he slumped down in his chair.

No one spoke, but then Adam caught Hoss’s eye and nodded towards their pa. Hoss conjured a smile he didn’t feel. “We’re only going to the barn, Pa, and I’ll look after him, you know I will.”

“You heard what I said, Joseph is not going outside. It’s too dark and too cold.”

There was an even louder and longer sigh from Joe as he slumped further in his chair.

Hoss stood up and squeezed his little brother’s shoulder. “Sorry, Joe.” He looked over to Adam. “I won’t be long.” He threw a quick glance at his stony-faced father and left the table to pull on his coat and boots.

The family sat in silence for a few moments, but then Joe scrambled off his chair.

“Joseph!”

Tears began to trail down Little Joe’s cheeks. “It ain’t fair, you don’t let me do nothing fun anymore.” And before Ben could respond, the boy was running away from the table and up the stairs. A slammed door soon echoed from above.

Adam looked over at his father who was staring with dark eyes in the direction of Joe’s room, and with a sigh began to stack the discarded dishes. On his way to the kitchen, he paused behind his father’s chair.

“We know you’re hurting, Pa, but Joe’s still a child. Isn’t it time he was allowed to be one?”

He didn’t see the flicker of hurt that creased Ben’s eyes as he left the room.

 

***

Joe was asleep, and Ben had retired to his bed when Hoss returned to the house.

“You took your time out there,” said Adam, looking up with tired eyes from the ledgers he was pouring over at Pa’s desk.

Hoss set a small, somewhat crushed, crate down on a nearby chair. “I reckoned the horses were better company than Pa right now. Leastwise they don’t shout.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Adam, when’s Pa gonna start being Pa again?” His fingers toyed with the edge of the desk. “I miss him.”

Adam rose and moved out from behind the desk. Curving an arm around the boy’s shoulder he gave him a squeeze. “Me too, Hoss. We just gotta give it a bit more time. Now, let’s see what’s in the box?”

After Hoss had prized off the lid of the crate, they dipped their hands in, pulling out the carefully wrapped items. The first packets revealed glass balls smashed into tiny shards. A packet of red ribbons was frayed and torn. “I guess the mice got to them,” said Adam with a sigh. Garlands of beads were twisted together and even a gentle pull to unravel them sent loose beads clattering to the bottom of the dusty box.

They threw the last broken items back in and Adam closed the lid. “Where was the box?”

Hoss met his brother’s eyes. “Under two other… heavier…ones.” His face was drawn and disappointed.

“You tried, Hoss. And with us not able to get to town with all the snow, and Pa the way he is, I guess we’re just not getting a Christmas this year.” He looked over at the tree. “We’ll use it for firewood.” He patted his brother’s back as he walked back behind the desk. “Get some sleep, brother.”

It was with an aching heart that he watched Hoss climb wearily up the stairs. But the books beckoned and resting his head in his hand, Adam returned to his figures.

 

***

Adam was shrugging into his winter coat the following morning when Hoss appeared at the top of the stairs. The boy’s tread was heavy as he plodded down one step at a time.

“You’re late, Hoss, I need you up at High Valley with me. We’ve got a lotta hungry beeves to feed.”

Hoss thrust his hands deep into his pockets and sighed. “D’ya mind if I don’t, Adam? I don’t feel so well, and I’d rather stay home and…well, just stay home.”

Adam shook his head. “Hoss, I know you’re disappointed about the tree and Christmas and all, but we still got a ranch to run and—”

“I know, I know. Just today, Adam. Please?”

There was a look of resignation, of defeat, on Hoss’s face and Adam felt himself giving in before he’d even braced himself for a fight.

“Okay. Just this once.” He tucked his scarf inside his coat. “I’m taking Joe with me. He’ll spend more time chucking snowballs at me while I spread the hay around, but it’ll get him out of the house and away from Pa for a while.”

Hoss looked around. “Where is Pa?”

“In his room. I don’t think you’ll see much of him today.”

And with a shake of his head as he glanced up at the upper floor, Adam pulled on his gloves and opened the door. Hoss followed him and stood in the chilly morning air watching him mount up behind an already rosy-cheeked Joe. As Adam’s mount stepped through the snow, Little Joe’s excited chatter echoed on the air as the two rode out of the yard.

With a half-smile, Hoss closed the door. But his smile soon faded. The box of broken decorations sat where they’d left it the night before. It taunted him. All he saw was a box of shattered dreams, a forgotten Christmas with an exhausted older brother, a younger sibling in desperate need of normality, and a father who’d given up on life, and his family.

But then, like the day before, Hoss felt a resolve building within him. He wasn’t going to let one crate of broken ornaments take away his dreams of Christmas. No way. He snatched up the box and walking to the hearth, up ended the contents onto the table in front of the fire.

And set to work.

***

Hoss was in the kitchen when the door crashed open, and Adam’s worried voice called out.

“Hoss, why aren’t the lamps lit yet, we can normally see the house for miles. Has something hap—”

Adam’s voice silenced. Brushing his floury hands over his apron, Hoss walked with soft steps out into the living area. Both Adam and Joe were standing by the open door, staring up at a twinkling, candle-lit, Christmas tree.

His movement caught Adam’s eye who turned with a wide smile and bright eyes to his middle brother. He pointed at the tree. “Did you do this?”

Hoss’s lips formed a smile as he cocked his head and shrugged. “Didn’t have anything else to do.”

Adam shooed Joe into the room, shutting the door behind him. The three stood together in front of the tree, gazing up at what, that morning, had been nothing more than a bare, slightly askew, pine.

Now, the tree was adorned with rows upon rows of glistening beaded garlands, sparkling red, gold, and sapphire blue.

“Took me all mornin’ to thread all them beads back on. I used the thread we use when repairin’ the tack.”

They shone and sparkled in the light of a multitude of candle stubs glued to the branches by blobs of melted wax.

“Figure I got more wax on me than the tree.”

Small toys hung from the highest point to the lowest boughs – a toy soldier, a miniature drum, a…

“Hey, that’s my horsey!”

…a wooden horse from Joe’s collection of toys. Hoss had raided Joe’s toy chest and nigh on cleared it out.

And instead of the broken glass ornaments, the tree was covered in bright white pinecones.

“Don’t touch! They’re still wet. I used all the cones we gathered for fire startin’ and dipped ‘em in whitewash.”

And at the very top of the tree was tied a large bright red ribbon.

“I reckon all our mamas would be proud of me. I sewed what was left of the little ribbons together and made one big one.”

Adam’s face was wide with wonder. “I can’t believe you did all this while we were out.”

“It ain’t finished yet. Wait here.”

And turning on his heel, Hoss ran back to the kitchen. He soon returned with a plate of gingerbread men, each one threaded with a loop of string.

“Mama taught us all how to make ‘em, so I thought, why not hang ‘em on the tree.”

Little Joe, so transfixed by the wonderful sight before him, pulled his gaze from the tree. Dropping his head, he ran to Hoss and wrapped his arms around Hoss’s legs.

“It’s the bestest Christmas tree I ever saw.”

“It is!”

The voice came from above them. Their father stood at the top of the stairs. His hair was combed back, his face washed, and to the boys’ surprise he was wearing a pair of smart pants, and a clean shirt. They watched as he walked down to stand next to Hoss and gaze up at the tree. His eyes glistened in the candlelight.

“It’s wonderful, Hoss.” He turned to his middle son. “I was halfway down the stairs earlier and saw you sitting on the hearth with a pile of broken ornaments on the table, and heaps of pinecones at your feet. And you were so focused on threading those beads on the thread, with such a serious look of concentration on your face, you didn’t see your silly old pa watching you.” He cupped Hoss’s neck with his hand. “And I suddenly felt so ashamed. Because you refused to give up on giving your family a Christmas they so dreadfully needed, even faced with a boxful of broken ornaments. And I had…” He glanced away for a moment. “I had lost my way for so long, only thinking of what I had lost, not what I had right in front of me.”

He sniffed and then looked back to Hoss. “Do you forgive me, son?” He turned to Adam and Joe. “Do you all forgive me?”

Adam gripped his father’s arm and swallowed hard. “There’s nothing to forgive, Pa.”

Ben opened his arms to his boys, and they stood together in the glow of the tree until Hoss shook himself free. “Hey, we ain’t quite finished yet,” he laughed. And together they hung the gingerbread men from the tree’s branches.

It had taken one boy’s steadfast refusal to not give up on Christmas to bring their pa back to them. And as they sat in the glow of the candles, munching on gingerbread men, promises were made that they all knew would be kept – that this Christmas they’d remember, with stories and laughter, the lives of those they had lost. What better way to celebrate their loved ones’ lives? But they’d also celebrate each other, and the love that kept them strong.

The ornaments on the tree could be replaced, but family never could be.

 

Character: Hoss

Activity: Replacing broken gear

 

Link to Day 16 of the Bonanza Brand 2021 Advent Calendar:  A Stitch in Time by AC1830