Summary: Joe is surprised at the observations that Candy has about Adam’s return to the family, but a string of events shows that Candy is correct even though there is far more going on than he guessed too.
Rating: T  Word count: 17,498

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First Things First

Candy’s journal 1

When I got to the Ponderosa, it felt like home. It felt like the first home I ever had and in some ways, the first family I ever had too. Hoss and Joe are like brothers to me more than friends. When they talked about the older brother who left, I couldn’t imagine what kind of man would leave a place like the Ponderosa and a family like the Cartwrights. Hoss talked about him like he had been a man to admire, a man to trust, who you could count on when there was trouble. It didn’t fit with what I learned. A man who would leave his family and then not visit didn’t seem to be that kind of man. Joe had a more negative view in some of what he said although he agreed with a lot of what Hoss said too. Often both brothers and their father talked about how they worried what had happened with Adam because they hadn’t heard from him. Then a letter would arrive so they would know he was still alive at least. It seemed the letters were always rather businesslike and almost a journal of his travels but not much about his living. Hoss said that was the way he was. It was Hoss’ view that he didn’t open up easily unless you were with him in a conversation. Joe said he held back a lot then too. Hoss answered that it was only until he was ready to talk about it after thinking it all through.

The hands who remembered Adam said he was good at everything he did, but he was a hard-driving man. They described him as proud and stubborn as well as hard to get to know. In general, they said he pushed hard. He pushed the men, his brothers, but nobody as hard as he pushed himself. When I meet him if I ever do, I expect him to be a greedy, ambitious man with no concern for others but only for what he wants to get. That’s so different from the Cartwrights that I know that I can kind of understand why he’s gone. He probably didn’t want to share the Ponderosa. He most likely wanted it all for himself. I couldn’t see him any other way and hoped when and if I did meet him that I could keep my animosity under control. I guessed I would want to pop him one right on the chin, and I wondered if the Cartwrights would be able to keep their anger in check especially Joe. He has a tendency to swing first and ask questions later. In this case, there wouldn’t be much need for questions as far as I could tell. It all was pretty clear.

Then what happened 1

Joe Cartwright was frustrated as he stood with Candy Canady and watched Adam Cartwright ride off into the distance. It was the third time that week that his oldest brother had taken a solo ride and was likely to be gone again for several hours at least. Adam had been home on the Ponderosa for a month, and this pattern was already well established.

Watching him ride away, Candy thought about what he had expected which was to dislike the long-missing Cartwright. Instead, he found him likable enough although as some had said, he was hard to get to know. However, he was not at all what Candy had expected otherwise. He was rather quiet and reserved but always polite and respectful in his dealings with others. When he had mentioned that to Joe, the younger Cartwright brother laughed but it wasn’t with any humor.

“You should wait awhile and you will see the other side of him, even if it hasn’t happened yet.”

To Candy, it seemed in those few weeks, Adam had been given reason enough to be ornery at times, but like now, he avoided situations that might be troublesome and got away from potential confrontations rather than reacting to what led up to that issue. It was a chance to talk about it as Adam disappeared into the distant trees and hills.

“I had hoped to say a few words to my older brother before he left. It makes me so frustrated that I can never seem to do that because he runs off.”

Candy’s response surprised Joe and got a conversation started.

“He’s probably practicing.”

“So you think he’s going to leave too?”

“I do.”

“Then you must have seen the same things I’ve seen like how he doesn’t really take part in anything in the family? He doesn’t want to be with us. He’s always been like that. He acts like he’s better than us. Well, if he’s going to be that way, I guess maybe he’s better off leaving, and we’ll be better off without him.”

Knowing it was going to be difficult to explain his ideas without making Joe mad enough to dismiss him and walk away, Candy did his best to be diplomatic in what he said. The strategy was to use honey first before the vinegar.

“You know, Joe, I used to wonder how your older brother could have ever left here. When I got here, I felt so at home the way I was welcomed and the way I was treated. It was more like a home and family than I had ever known. I thought anybody who walked away from this must be crazy or rotten to the core.”

“Exactly.”

“Now, I don’t think that so much anymore at all.”

“What do you mean by that? It sounds like you think it’s our fault he left and not his.”

“From what I’ve seen, maybe it was kind of that way because from the outside looking in, now it seems that maybe it was that way.”

“That’s ridiculous. We welcomed him home with open arms. We’ve treated him the same as if he never left. Everything is like it was before he left except Jamie is here, and he still wants to leave.”

“Yeah, I gathered that, and the problem is exactly that. He got pushed out once by the way he was treated, and it looks like it’s happening again.”

“That’s ridiculous. I don’t have time to listen to this. Winter is only a few months away. He’s making that old argument about being stuck here by the weather so he’s probably going to head out. It’s not that though. It’s for his own reasons and nothing we did made any difference in that decision. I’m going in to have lunch.”

That night, Joe sought Candy out to talk with him again. He must have stewed on it all afternoon. With time to think about what Candy had said to him, Joe wanted clarification or maybe examples. Or better yet, perhaps he had decided that he might have been mistaken in some of the conclusions he had drawn. The two men took a walk out into the yard for some privacy, and what Joe got was what he wanted and what he didn’t want at the same time. That happens when you’re confronted with the truth when you’ve been denying it to yourself. It all started pretty neutral. Joe opened up with his feelings about what Candy had said. Adam had returned after his ride, and Joe had held back saying anything to him because of his conversation with Candy. Unsure of himself, he needed to sound out his ideas more before he talked with his oldest brother. He was having doubts about some of the things he had been thinking. He wanted to be right, but he feared he might be wrong.

“I heard what you said, and although I don’t buy it, I never gave you the chance to explain. We’re friends, and that was wrong so I’m here to give you the chance to finish what you started to say to me.”

“I thought I said enough. It sure got you riled up in a hurry.”

“Maybe you could explain more or at least tell me what you saw that made you think what you think is happening.”

“All right, I’ll try as long as you don’t bite my head off.”

“I won’t bite your head off. I just want to hear why you said what you said.”

“There are lots of things I’ve seen that made me say those things, and I don’t have to go back far to find a great example of what I think has gone wrong. A couple of days ago, Adam went for a ride saying he needed to clear his head.”

“Yeah, he’s always liked to go for rides alone. We already talked about that.”

Looking sideways at Joe, Candy knew there was more to it than that and so should Joe. So he waited, but when Joe said nothing, he continued with the original thought he had been about to express.

“Adam came back and said he saw a section of fence in the southwest pasture that needed to be redone before any cattle strayed where they shouldn’t go. He guessed it would take two men about a day to reset the posts and restring the wire. Your Pa said nothing to Adam and looked right over to you to ask you to go out there the next morning. He wanted you to check on it and then send out whatever men and supplies were needed to get the job done but only if it needed to be done right away.”

“Yeah. Well, I’m in charge of stuff like that.”

“If Hoss or say I came back and told your Pa what Adam had said to him, would he have sent you to verify that the job needed doing and that it needed to be done right away? I have to tell you, if he did, I would likely have been angry as a hornet. It might have been enough to make me quit as foreman. I know Hoss would have been steaming mad.”

Although Joe wanted to say something, there was nothing to say. He was silent because he knew what Candy had said was true.

“You and Hoss make plans with me to do things, and then you ask Adam if he wants to join in. He doesn’t get a say. Your father makes decisions and then asks Adam if he agrees. It’s an open invitation to an argument. He doesn’t get to freely offer an opinion. You say that’s the way it was before he left. I would have left too. He’s always walking on eggshells around all of you or he knows there’s going to be an argument. You’ve told me that before he left, all he seemed to want to do was argue. Well, now he’s doing his best to avoid that. Neither way is acceptable to you. He can’t win. It must be killing him. It would if it was me.”

Joe only offered a feeble response.

“It’s hard to talk with him. Like he doesn’t tell us anything about where he’s been or what he’s been doing.”

Candy wasn’t done. Joe had asked him to explain, and he had been holding a lot back for a couple of weeks. He was ready to let it all out.

“I have an idea about that too.”

“Out with it. You haven’t held back on anything yet.”

“Maybe he doesn’t tell you anything about his life because every time I’ve heard him asked it’s in such a way that he has to justify why he didn’t write more or visit or do whatever it was you expected him to do. The first thing all of you seem to want if for him to explain his failures to meet your expectations. His answer if he gave it would have to be defensive. Like earlier, when you said you wanted to talk to him: what were you planning to say? Was it something about including him in something or was it another complaint?”

The look Joe had was all the answer that was necessary. Candy knew it wasn’t a conversation between brothers that Joe had been seeking.

“I have the feeling there’s a lot he would like to tell, but I doubt he thinks he has anyone who wants to hear his story. It’s probably that he feels more like he’s on trial, but he’s already been found guilty.”

Right then, Joe wanted to say that of course, they wanted to hear Adam’s story, but he realized that what Candy had said was correct, at least for him. He wanted to know why they hadn’t heard more from Adam, but it was just like a trial in that he expected Adam to defend himself against that charge. That negative attitude always got in the way of genuine curiosity about how Adam had lived his life while away from the ranch and what had happened to him. In all the time Adam had been back, Joe realized they still knew nothing of where his oldest brother had been and what he had been doing.

“Do you think it’s too late to make things right?”

It was an important and huge concession.

“Joe, you’re very smart when you take the time to think about things. You do tend to shoot from the hip the rest of the time so all you needed was to be reminded to use your head sometimes. When you do, you’ll figure things out fast. He’s still here. Figure it out.”

“I guess talking with Hoss might be what I need to do first.”

“Maybe, but I don’t know. I wouldn’t put it off too long by setting up other things you think you need to do first before you talk with Adam. Things could get worse if you wait too long to talk with him. He’s a proud man. I think he came back because he loves his family, but he’s finding out there’s not much reason for him to feel that way.”

“He’s family. That should count.”

“Really? You told me when he left, you hardly missed him because you were so busy and then because it was a relief that he was gone. Wasn’t he family then?”

“I guess I was still upset that he left.”

“And it all comes back to things like that being his fault. You have all given him the burden to carry. It makes things a lot easier for all of you, but you don’t seem to consider how it makes him feel. He’s on the outside looking in. He probably felt better when he was alone than as lonely as he must feel when he’s here with all of you.”

“What can I do?”

“Start treating him like a brother. Treat him like you love him.”

“I do love him.”

With that, Candy couldn’t help it. He smiled and nodded in agreement.

“I figured you did, but I think you forgot what was in your heart for a bit. Now that you remembered that, I think you’ll know what to do. No time like now to get started on it either.”

“Thanks, Candy. I think maybe I knew what you were going to say to me at least most of it. I needed to hear someone say it. In my head, it kept going round and round and coming up against a wall.”

“You Cartwrights can be a stubborn bunch.”

“Well, first things first. I guess I have to find a way to have some time to be with Adam to let him know how I really feel.”

Both knew that meant being away from Ben for a time. He and Adam were going to have to clear up their differences too, but that wouldn’t happen until and unless the brothers reconciled. As the two stood there quietly, Joe realized something he had never considered until that moment.

“We control whether Adam leaves, don’t we? When the situation became too unpleasant years ago, he left. He didn’t want things to get any worse. He couldn’t improve things, and we weren’t doing anything about it, so he did what he thought he had to do. If things don’t get any better, he’ll leave again. It’s not him, it’s us.”

“Joe, he might leave anyway. You forget that he might have a life away from the ranch that he will go back to. You don’t know anything about that yet. This might be a visit and not a return home. None of you know. You might want to hold off on making up your mind on things until you get all the facts.”

“I’m going to start working on that too.”

With that, they bid each other a good evening before heading back inside. Their conversation and the time it took for them to think about things before they talked meant that it was nearly time to head to bed. Taking Candy’s advice, Joe decided on a plan of action as he made that walk to the house. Once inside, he noted how Hoss sat with a checkers board by himself near the fireplace. From the looks of things, he had played their father and lost badly and was trying to figure out why. With a self-satisfied smile, Ben was settled back into his chair with a brandy watching Hoss. Across the room where a small lamp was on a table, Adam sat with a book reading. Joe could not imagine a better illustration of how the family was operating at this point. He walked over and stood next to his oldest brother who looked up a bit surprised at the approach.

“Tomorrow, I was wondering if you would like to ride with me to look at a few spots on the ranch where I think we could make some changes. I would like your opinion of some of the things we were thinking we might do. As we go, you might think of some other things, you know, improvements, that could be made.”

Joe was gratified to see that Adam perked up at his idea, but at the same time was a bit sad to see that Adam also seemed a bit worried as if it might be some kind of trap.

“It’s nothing to worry about. I thought the two of us could use some time together.”

“Where would we be riding and how long?”

“To the east and south and through a lot of timber most likely.”

“Maybe we could make it an overnight trip then? I haven’t done much hard riding lately. I’m not sure I can handle twelve hours in the saddle.”

“I like that even better. Yeah, tomorrow’s Friday so it won’t be a problem taking Saturday or maybe even part of Sunday. I hope you’re still a good shot so we don’t have to pack along so much food.”

The next morning, the two men packed up clothing and basic supplies. Ben had wanted to say something about their plans, but before he had a chance to do so, Hoss had intervened.

“It’s time something like this happened. I said a few things to Adam, but none of us really took the time to welcome him here and give him a chance to feel like part of the family again. Joe trumped us on that one so don’t say anything to ruin his plans. Saying nothing might be the best thing.”

It wasn’t often that Hoss stood up to his father, but when he did, Ben had to know it was because it was important. It wasn’t a time to question his middle son. He did as he was asked to do and said nothing although he must also have wondered what had happened. Something was going on between Joe and Adam. It was later that he found out from Hoss what might have happened. That was because Candy had a conversation with Hoss similar to what Joe and Candy had the night before. That conversation was how Candy found out how Hoss had stood up to his father but also found out more about how Hoss and Adam got along.

“So, Joe aims to mend his relationship with Adam on this trip?”

“He aims to start.”

“It’s going to take more than a couple of days to undo all those years.”

“Years?”

“Hoss, what went wrong in this family happened over a lot of time. It’s going to take some time to get it right again.”

“I guess I’m part of that too. I let Adam leave. I made him promise to come back, but there was nothing in what I said to make him stay. I guess he knew that too.”

“Why do you think that happened?”

“It goes back a ways. He promised when I was little to watch over me. When he makes a promise, he keeps it. He made the same pledge for Joe, and he never got over it. It got to feeling more like interference and not respecting me than helping me. There were times he should have talked to me like a man, but instead he butted into my life.”

“Did you ever tell him that?”

Hoss kicked a few clumps of dirt into dust and said nothing for a time. When he did talk, his voice was soft.

“You know, talking to you is kinda like talking to Adam and hearing his side of things, except he ain’t here so I can’t get mad at him for what he’s saying. That used to be my way of dealing with things he told me that I didn’t like to hear. Now I know some of why we didn’t talk about things like that and why he butted into my life like he did. I guess he thought it was the only way to help. Mind you, I still think he was wrong. I was a man and could have handled things myself no matter how they turned out, but I got a better idea now of why he did what he did. He wanted to help and knew I wouldn’t listen if he offered advice.”

“So now what do you do?”

“I guess there’s some talking that’s long overdue. And I need to talk not just with Adam. I know what you’re saying about how Pa talks with him. Joe told me a little of what you said about that. I guess it always kind of sat all right with me cause I never could win an argument with my brother. It was easier to let Pa take him down a notch or two like that. Now I see how he could see it as all three of us ganging up on him. It had to be hard on him. I spoke up for him some of the time, but I should have stood with him a lot more of the time instead. He deserved better from me then and now. It’s always being hard being the one in the middle.”

“I didn’t figure you for one to take the easy way.”

“For a long time, I thought it was all right because I thought Adam took the easy way too by leaving. I guess I never thought about it from how he would see it.”

“Yeah, pride and hurt are poor traveling companions.”

“I got to hope now that things go well enough with him and Joe that he’ll stay long enough for the two of us to come to an understanding too.”

“You think he will leave again?”

“Yeah, no reason for him to stay, is there?”

It was a rhetorical question. The two men did as friends do when they’re done talking. They finished their walk silently both of them probably contemplating the same thoughts wondering how Adam and Joe were getting along. What they found out Sunday morning from Joe was that they got along rather well although it took them some time before they talked about anything in their relationship. It was all business at first and shooting dinner. Joe talked to Candy and Hoss when he and Adam came back from their trip. Ben had gone to church services, but Hoss and Candy stayed home certain that Joe and Adam would soon be back.

“As we were riding, I laid out ideas at places I thought could use improvements or development. Adam offered his approval or advice but didn’t disagree with any of those ideas. That put me in a mood to continue. Later that first day, I suggested it was time to hunt for dinner. I said it was getting close to when some of the deer or elk should be on the move. If we tied off the horses, maybe we could set our sights on one. Adam said it sounded good and before I knew it, he had tied off his horse and headed up that ridge. He can still walk almost as quiet as those Paiute who taught him. I wondered if he was still the best shot with a rifle that we have in the family.”

Candy looked over at Hoss when he said that because he thought Hoss was the best shot with a rifle. Hoss grinned and shook his head.

“I shoot real well, but I swear there were times Adam could shoot around corners. Remind me sometime about how he shot a rustler by doing just that. No, I’m the best tracker, but he’s the best with a rifle. Anyway, Joe’s probably got a good story about that.”

“Yeah, we saw some deer, and I told him to pick a target and shoot. I said I would have one lined up too, and if his didn’t fall, I’d take my shot. He agreed and didn’t make any smart comment about me hinting he might miss. He smiled and said to tell him when I was ready. As soon as I did, he fired. I was going to shoot but one of the deer collapsed. The others froze and then took off. We went to get the horses, and when we got to the deer, I didn’t see a bullet hole. There was blood though, and when I looked close, I saw he had shot it in the eye.”

Now that made the other two men whistle a bit in appreciation.

“That’s a heck of a shot older brother made.”

“You sure it wasn’t a lucky shot, Joe?”

“Candy, I don’t think so. At first I said something like that about the shot, and all he said was that he had been practicing. He said it all serious like and with no smile. I think he meant it. He really had been aiming for the eye. That wasn’t the biggest shock I got though. That night, I asked him about his life. I apologized for not talking, really talking, to him sooner.”

“What did he say?”

Adam walked into the barn then where the three men were talking.

“I said I work for the government, and unfortunately, I’ve been forced into situations where I have had to do things I don’t like to do.”

“Like doing what, older brother?”

“Sometimes I have had to kill people.”

There was no sarcasm or humor in that statement.

“I know you probably want to know more, but just like with Joe, I’m not ready to talk about all of it with you.”

“Then tell us what you can talk about, please. We care about you, Adam. We should have told you that sooner and more often, but it’s true. We want to know, and we want to help if we can.”

Joe had finally said what appeared to be the magic words. Adam sat down on a bench or more accurately slumped down on a bench. He looked like he was ready to unburden himself. Candy felt he needed to ask a question.

“Should I leave?”

“No, it’s probably important that you hear what I have to say too. All of you will have a decision to make on whether I stay here after I tell you a few things.”

At that point, you couldn’t have dragged Candy out of that barn for anything. In his mind, the oldest brother had a way of saying something that held your attention completely. When he did that, he said a little that said a lot, and then anyone hearing it wants to know more.

Journal entry 2

The first thing I was thinking as I listened to Adam tell us what had happened to him was that smart men can be pretty damn stupid when a woman is involved. I should know. It’s happened to me, and Hoss and Joe know the same thing. What’s really weird about this situation though is that Adam doesn’t seem to know it’s the woman who’s at the middle of all this. He sees her as the victim when he’s the one who’s really been the one hurt. We all told him that, and gave him the same advice. The only way he can help himself is to turn her in. If he doesn’t, we can’t help him. Nobody can. It’s a real big mess. That story she told him that she agreed to the deal for money but then fell in love with him and couldn’t go through with it. I agreed with Hoss when he called that hogwash. It was only meant to get his sympathy and break down his defenses. She knew how to get to him, and she used it. Now, he’s lost his job, and he’s being investigated and could be charged with crimes. The worst of those is treason. We know what the penalty for that is. He said he’s ready to go back and face those charges if that happens because he’s innocent. The man doesn’t have an ounce of common sense when it comes to saving himself.

Then What Happened 2

It was the general consensus that it was a good thing Adam told us that story when he did. That was because Roy showed up with news that was less of a shock because we already knew there might be trouble like that. When we heard he was being investigated, we all had to assume there could be charges. When Roy rode in and looked like he had to tell us someone died, we expected bad news. When he stammered like he does, Hoss told him to spit it out.

“I came out to tell you and to warn Adam that there’s a warrant for him to appear in federal district court in Denver. I’m sorry. Adam warned me about this, but I don’t know how much you all know.”

Ben was shocked, but the others were only upset. It wasn’t much of a leap of logic for Ben and Roy to know that Adam had told them the basics of the story. It was time then to tell Ben. He didn’t get the details that we had been given like how Adam had gotten to know the lady well, real well. It’s not the kind of thing a man shares with his father anyway unless there’s a shotgun pointed in his direction with wedding bells ringing because the lady in question has the swollen belly. Boy, if that happened in this situation, it would make for an unbelievable mess. Roy had more news to deliver.

“I have to deputize somebody as a marshal to take Adam there.”

Hoss and Joe immediately volunteered to be a marshal.

“It can’t be a Cartwright.”

He had to say that. No judge or federal official would accept either Hoss or Joe as the marshal. So Candy volunteered.

“I’m not sure why I jumped in like that, but I’ve said it, there is no taking it back.”

“There’s no rush. This will wait until I can get everything approved and such, and then you can head out to Denver. Until then, your job is to make sure Adam stays here on the ranch.”

“I’m pretty sure I can do that.”

Well aware of how difficult or impossible it would be to do that if the Cartwrights decided Adam was leaving, Roy simply shrugged. He was following procedure. In fact, he wouldn’t mind if Adam left. He didn’t trust this whole set-up. Ben didn’t trust it either.

“Why Denver? There is a perfectly fine court in San Francisco and one in Sacramento.”

“I know, Pa. Maybe they’re so sure of their case they want me headed back east already.”

“Adam, you know that is not legitimate under the law. There’s something more going on here.”

“I suspect you’re right about that.”

There was a lot of thinking but not much doing until a messenger arrived with a telegram for Adam. It was difficult to understand at first, but once he understood the symbolism, it was easy.

PRINCIPALS AT OUR OLD PREP SCHOOL HAVE DIED. STOP. CLASSMATES MISSING. STOP. SUSPECTED OF FOUL PLAY. STOP. MY BETROTHED GONE TOO. STOP.

After staring at the telegram for a short time, Adam sighed which only got Joe more curious. He had been reading over Adam’s shoulder and couldn’t see any significance in the message. However, it seemed that Adam did because his whole demeanor changed as he finished reading and looked up at the men around him.

“We should go inside and talk.”

“This is significant?”

“Yes, Pa, it is. You may have a funeral to attend unless we work out a good plan.”

Inside the house, Adam asked Hop Sing for coffee for everyone. He sat on the edge of the fireplace hearth. When everyone was seated, he explained the telegraph.

“Some of the main suspects in the case have been found dead. Others are missing including the lady I mentioned, Camelia. No one knows where they are. They could be dead too.”

Immediately, Joe got it and explained to the others.

“So this trip to Denver is likely just a plot to get you off the Ponderosa so you can be killed or kidnapped. Either way, you probably won’t last long. That’s the warning, isn’t it?”

“That’s what I thought too.”

When Roy came back with my papers and a badge, he agreed with our conclusions. This trip to Denver was most likely just a plan to get Adam off the Ponderosa and unprotected. So we came up with another plan. We got it going before Roy sent the official word to Denver. Adam was going to report to the federal district court in San Francisco instead. And, he and Candy weren’t going to travel by train or stage. They were going over the mountains using the trails that we used for cattle drives. Roy wasn’t going to tell anyone that. If they were going to try to ambush him, it was going to be extremely difficult to do at least until he and Candy arrived in the city by the bay. When they got there, Hoss and Joe planned to be there to add an extra layer of protection when Adam went to court. The thought was that was when he would be the most vulnerable because they would know where he was going to be so they could plan an ambush rather well.

With fair weather, Adam and Candy made good time the first few days and hardly talked at all trying to put as much distance between them and the Ponderosa as they could. If Adam’s enemies had anyone watching or worse had anyone working on the ranch, he wanted to get far enough ahead of them that they wouldn’t have any idea where he was. The two men had two nights of cold camps. The third night, they decided it was all right to stop a little earlier, rest the horses, and have a fire for a hot meal.

“This coffee sure tastes good. You do know how to cook.”

“Thanks. I did have a lot of years working out here to learn how before I left and let others do the cooking.”

Leaning back after dinner and after they had everything done that needed doing, there was time to talk before they had to turn in.

“You never did say how you got into this work.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Are you always like this? I mean, do you make everyone pry to get anything out of you? I’m not asking you to bare your soul. I only wondered how you got into a situation that meant that sometimes you had to kill people.”

“It didn’t start that way.”

When I didn’t say anything, he chuckled a little, but there was no mirth.

“If I get started, it could be a long story. You could get bored.”

“I expected a long story when I asked the question and I won’t get bored.”

“All right. When I left here, I visited old friends in a number of cities. There were parties and various social gatherings. I got reacquainted with a number of people and met others. As I traveled around, I got more and more such invitations. In Washington, I was invited to a party for an old classmate who now serves in the Foreign Affairs Department. Before I went to that party, I was visited by another old classmate who now works for President Grant. He asked if I would pay special attention to what our old friend said and to whom. With my memory, he said he hoped I could report back to him with enough to either clear the subject or give damning evidence of his guilt.”

“Guilt?”

“That was pretty much what I said. He told me that there was suspicion that the man was working with a foreign government to undermine our efforts to secure Santo Domingo. Based on what I overheard and reported, there was enough evidence so that he was arrested. The negotiations continued successfully.”

“So then what?”

“There were other less serious issues. I began to do some free-lance construction design that kept me in Washington. The contracts were arranged by the government to keep me there so I could continue doing my second job for them.”

“As a spy?”

“I think what you’re trying not to say is that I was a snitch. I was, and I didn’t like it either. So I pushed to take a more active role in each investigation. I had two jobs. Construction design was a cover for uncovering those who were working against our nation’s interests. Sometimes it meant I had to travel. Unmarried, I had no ties and could travel at will and continue to be social. I was always available for extra tickets to the theatre for example. But by taking an active role, sometimes there were other distasteful situations such as confronting someone about what they had done. There were a couple who killed themselves rather than face public humiliation and the ignominy of a possible prison sentence. The worst were those who thought if they killed me, their secret would be safe. They tried and failed. In time, my proximity to these men who died must have made some nervous. It probably didn’t take too much in the way of bribes the way the government is now to find out what my secret role was.”

“That’s when they made their move against you?”

“It was. They set me up to look like I was the one sabotaging the negotiations with Britain. We’re almost done with the agreement to arbitrate the Alabama claims. But it is still a touchy situation because the War wasn’t that long ago and Canada is involved as well, and then there are those crazy Fenians.”

“They couldn’t prove any of the charges against you, could they?”

“They might if they could forge enough documents. Maybe not though as I doubt the documents would stand up to scrutiny in court, but it wouldn’t matter because my career is over and my reputation is mud.”

“Is there any way out of this mess for you?”

“Only if one or more of the people involved come forward to testify in my behalf or get arrested and are forced to tell the truth. That could turn the table on the dirty bunch.”

“You still think she’s coming back, don’t you? Why do you trust her after all that’s happened?”

Hearing the doubt in my statement, he didn’t answer. A change in subject was in order.

“Do you wish you had never left? I mean, Hoss said you lived in San Francisco for a time. Why didn’t you stay there? It seems like it would have had the things you wanted?”

“It did, but there were still problems with my father.”

“I find that difficult to believe.”

A smirk was my answer to that.

“I mean he talks about you in such glowing terms all the time. I have the feeling he thinks you can do no wrong.”

“The filter of time does wonders for my father’s memory and his judgment.”

“Do you care to explain that? I mean we have time more than anything else here.”

“I can give you a couple of examples. There was a problem once and he wanted a solution which meant explosives. I sent some nitroglycerin with a driver. He thought it was a good idea. In the process of getting it over the mountains, there was an explosion and the son of a friend died. The next time he saw me, he told me about it. His comment was that it was too bad I had not thought of a better solution than nitro.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah.”

“So, he kinda laid the man’s death at your doorstep.”

“And absolved himself of all responsibility. I didn’t come up with a perfect solution so I was at fault. I got tired of trying to be perfect. I couldn’t please him, and if I tried, I couldn’t please anyone else either. So I left.”

“What do you mean you couldn’t please anyone else either?”

“In San Francisco, I got a job with an old family friend. He owned stockyards and planned to branch out into other businesses. He wanted me to work with him starting in the stockyards and then in the other businesses including constructing things as needed. I agreed.”

“Sounds perfect for you.”

“It was until my father and brothers brought in their herd. My father expected a premium price. The cattle were good as they always are from the Ponderosa, but they had traveled over the mountains and had been pushed hard. I offered a fair price. He was angry. My boss thought I offered too much because he was my father. I quit. Packed up my things and headed east. It was the last time for me to be caught in the middle like that in a situation that was not of my choosing.”

It was quiet for a while then. The night birds were making some sounds, and there were the sounds of small animals rummaging in the area. The sounds of the horses were there as well. Candy didn’t want to leave things on a sour note so he had to say something before he tucked into my bedroll.

“I sure hope you can sleep after all of this. I didn’t mean to stir up so many bad memories. I am sorry about that. My curiosity got the better of my good judgment.”

“It’s all right. I feel pretty good about it. I think I had that all bottled up inside, and it was good to let it out. I couldn’t talk to anyone else about it. You were the perfect one to bring it up. You know all the principals, but you can still have a reasonably objective opinion. I appreciate that.”

“As long as we’re into telling the truth and all, did you aim for the eye on that deer you shot or was that a lucky hit?”

That lightened the mood. Adam chuckled at least.

“A little of both.”

“What?” Then Candy thought about it. “You aimed for the eye expecting a head shot, but you didn’t actually expect to shoot it in the eye. Damn, it makes a good story though. Still was a hell of a shot.”

“Thanks. I wish I was that good with a pistol. When we get to the city, I think any trouble is going to come without much warning and be up close.”

“Roy said you can’t be armed when you go into the courtroom. You’ll be officially in custody at that point.”

“But up to the door of the courtroom?”

“He never said. I guess I’ll have to use my best judgment on that.”

“Thanks.”

“Can I ask you why you didn’t tell your family this stuff when you got home?”

“I think you can answer that yourself.”

“Let’s not ruin a good conversation with you getting smart with me.”

“All right, but I think you know the answer. I do want to thank you for getting Joe to change his attitude. I know it had to be you. Everything started to change after that night that Joe said he had to go talk with you. Told us you had said some things to him that had got him thinking and he needed to talk more. Then he came back in and asked me to ride with him. It wasn’t difficult to make the connection. When I got back, Hoss had a different attitude too.”

Even in the moonlight, I could see he was giving me a look. I nodded.

“Yeah, right on both counts. They’re my friends, and I hate to see a friend go off the track like that.”

“Wish you were friends like that with my father.”

It was all they said about that relationship.

“I didn’t talk with them because they didn’t want to listen. They wanted to judge, to get even perhaps for perceived wrongs. It was only when they actually wanted to know that I could talk with them. When you ask me questions, you want to know the answer. You’re not going to put me on trial because of the answer I give.”

Candy couldn’t say much. It had been close to what he had said to Joe and to Hoss.

Over the next week, they talked more but mostly about other things until Candy wanted to talk about the lady Adam still hoped would come back to him. They passed through a few small towns. As they did and saw women walking about, it seemed Adam couldn’t help but look them over like he hoped miraculously one would be the woman he hoped to see. Candy had to say something. He figured both of their lives depended on both being ready for what was going to happen, and as distracted as Adam was, Candy felt they were in more danger.

“You’re very observant. You have a great memory. You figure things out quickly. But if you keep using your mind to look for a woman who isn’t coming back or probably isn’t coming back, you’re going to miss something important that could get you and maybe me killed. I wouldn’t like that, especially the part about me getting killed.”

“I won’t miss anything.”

“Oh, really? You weren’t distracted back there? Did you see the gunmen sitting on the bench by the saloon who watched us as we rode by?”

“I saw them.”

“How many?”

“Three were sitting there. There could have been more inside. They weren’t a threat to me.”

“Oh, and how would you know that?”

“Because they were watching you. As I rode slower and you pulled ahead, it was obvious. They saw your badge which apparently drew their interest. I didn’t look like your prisoner because I was wearing a pistol and carrying a rifle. They might figure me for your deputy. That is a possibility. They watched until we rode out of town. We’re far enough away from that town now that we could pull off and out of sight to see if they followed us. More likely they rode out of town the opposite way.”

They got off the road and waited. No one was following them. From a high ridge, they watched again later, and there was no sign of pursuit anywhere. Candy learned too. He tucked the badge inside, and from that point, he only showed it to sheriffs who needed to see it. The two tried to be as unobtrusive as possible so anyone checking wouldn’t get any useful information.

By this time, they were long overdue in Denver so Roy would have had to admit they were on the way to San Francisco. The danger level had gone up significantly. If their suppositions were correct, there would be men looking for Adam at this point. They had no idea who they were, but if the lady showed up, she was known to Adam. The hope was that he would see her and that would be a warning that they needed to flee. When it happened, it didn’t help though. Their enemies had done their research well, and the trap was well laid with no way out for the two men.

The first time Adam saw her, it was in a hotel hallway in San Francisco. He and Candy were going to go to the courthouse the next day. They didn’t make it. Well, Candy did but only to tell them that Adam had been kidnapped while in his custody. He could see how the judge didn’t find that plausible, and the prosecutors were ready to charge him as an accessory. The police report of finding him unconscious in the hotel hallway with a bloody head wound helped forestall that. Then they asked what happened.

“We got a room and planned to be here this morning. When we walked down the hall to the room, a woman stepped out of a room. She said was Adam’s name to get his attention, and said they needed to talk. He stopped only a moment almost like he was ready to do that, but then he turned to escape. I’m sure he knew it was a trap, but it was too late. Six men converged on us. I got hit almost immediately so they must have had a plan to take me out of the fight. I only remember vaguely what happened next. I heard them say their boss wanted him alive. Then they were gone.”

“Damn. There goes our witness and probably the whole damn case. Damn that Cartwright. If he had only trusted me. Now the damn scoundrels have him and her.”

The man speaking seemed to have no regard for the judge or the prosecutors who deferred to him regardless of his language. Even in Candy’s addled state, he had to smile. Adam had once referred to his ‘damn’ boss during their conversations. He had said he should probably have trusted him, but he didn’t know who to trust when everything went bad. He had laughed and said that his boss used the word damn so often that they had given him a nickname based on it. They called him Dee. The conversation and the language let Candy make the connection.

“You were Adam’s boss.”

“Still am in my opinion. You did a damn poor job of protecting him.”

“I made a number of suggestions as to where we should spend the night. He wouldn’t agree to any of them mostly because they were in saloons on the Barbary Coast. He thought he might be shanghaied before morning. I admitted the possibility but thought it was better than being killed. We were supposed to have reinforcements but they didn’t show up as we expected. So we went where his family always stays when they’re in the city. We thought people from the east weren’t likely to know that. We were so careful when we were traveling, and then here we were cautious everywhere until we got to the hotel. We weren’t careful enough.”

That got a frown for only a moment.

“Damn, he does trust me.”

“What?”

“If they attacked you while you were traveling or on the streets here, it would likely have been to kill both of you. It would have been fast and violent. In the damn hotel, it was to take him alive. He let them do it. You said he turned to leave. He didn’t draw his damn pistol. If the two of you had drawn, you might both be dead, but they would all likely be dead or wounded too including Camelia. My guess is that he wanted to save her, and he did. Now he wants me to find him and her and get them out of this damn mess. You will help, won’t you?”

“I have to. I can’t go back to the Ponderosa and his family and tell them this is where I left things.”

“Especially after he saved your life by letting them take him.”

“Yeah, there is that too.”

“All right, then, you know more about this damn city than I do. Where would these scoundrels take a man and a woman to hide them away for a couple of days while they question them?”

“And a woman?”

“Yes, and a woman. You see, Mister Canady, I trust Adam too. I trust his damn instincts. If he thinks she’s all right, then, damn, she is. Now, we have to find them while they’re both reasonably healthy.”

They began laying out possibilities for where villains might hold a man and a woman and suggesting those they could trust who might help them in the search. A big man with a tall hat and his younger brother in his green jacket showed up about then wondering why there was no court proceeding. They had help, but first things first. Candy had to explain what had happened. It wasn’t easy. The brothers explained why they were late, and it let them know how big a conspiracy they faced.

Journal Entry 3

We should never have underestimated our foes. They must have known Hoss and Joe might come to help their brother. They set up a stage breakdown and made sure they didn’t get to the city to help. It was fair warning though. They had a large number of people in California helping them directly or being paid to do so. We were going to find all of them and turn them or arrest them. It was the cornerstone of our plan. And it worked. We found them. It wasn’t cheap, but it was far easier than I expected. Hoss and Joe helped the most by getting a large sum of money from the bank that was used for bribes. Hotel clerks and porters, taxi drivers, and doormen all took the money quickly and offered up any information we wanted, and in a very short period of time, we knew where they were. It wasn’t an easy rescue that we had to do either. They went to the police after consulting with the federal court to get the names of law enforcement officials in the city who could be trusted. Knowing what they were probably doing to Adam made Hoss and Joe damned impatient as Dee would call it. They were damned scared too. Finally, we had a force strong enough to storm that house and carriage house. We prayed we would find Adam alive.

Then What Happened 3

From the moment Adam saw Camelia in that hallway and she called his name and asked to talk with him, he knew that things were going to get much worse quickly. He hoped the men with her had left them a way to escape, but their planning had been complete. Pulling a pistol and starting a gunfight was only going to get all of them killed. He took a chance that they wouldn’t kill Candy. They didn’t even though Candy was taken out right away. Adam was glad to see they didn’t kill him when he was overpowered quickly. He could see Candy still moving when they dragged him off down the hallway. Although he wanted to say something, he was gagged and tied.

Adam was not injured at all which made him worry even more about what they had in mind for him. He had thought they wanted to kill him, but now he was worried about what they wanted. He was right to worry. With Camelia, he was rushed down the back stairs of the hotel and pushed into a carriage. She was pushed in with him and apparently didn’t object to being with him. She got to talk because he was gagged and couldn’t tell her to shut up.

“My uncle kept his promise to me and you were not harmed. I made a bargain with him to save you. He was going to send me out of the country for a while, and I asked if you could go too. We could travel for five years and that would be plenty of time for him to extricate himself from whatever mess he is in. He said if I helped deliver you to him, he would get both of us out of the country so I told him everything I knew about you and your family. You told me all those stories, and I have a great memory. So he’s going to have us taken to the docks so we can leave the country. All we have to do is promise not to come back for five years. To get to do five years of travel and adventure as a price to pay for you being alive was not even something I had to think about.”

When Camelia finished telling her story, Adam laughed. Even with the gag, it was clear what he thought about what she had told him. She was so angry that she didn’t say anything for a minute. Then she had to know why he laughed. She pulled down his gag.

“Why are you laughing? I made that deal to save your life.”

“You are so foolish. The only way we are leaving this country is on a boat that would dump us in the ocean for the cold and the sharks to finish us off. We know too much. We are too much of a liability.”

“I made that deal with my uncle. He’s taken care of me ever since my parents died when I was twelve. Nothing has changed.”

He snorted. Even in these circumstances, she thought he could be so snide.

“Hasn’t it. How much protection have you gotten from him lately? How safe have you felt in the last couple of months?”

She had to admit at least to herself that he had a point there. She felt she had proof though of her uncle’s good faith.

“We are in a carriage to go to a ship to take us out of the country.”

He snorted again and she picked up the gag ready to put it back in his mouth because she was getting so upset with him. Despite her irritation, she hesitated because he said he had a question for her. He seemed sincere.

“If we’re going to the docks to get on a ship, why is the carriage going uphill? The hotel wasn’t that far from the docks and it would have been a downhill ride if anything to go to the docks. We should probably be there already if that was the plan.”

She reached for the door to open it and found there was no handle on the inside. The windows were tied down on the outside. She didn’t know where they were going, but now Adam’s conclusions had far more merit in her mind than the deal she thought she had struck.

“They’re going to kill us?”

“I’m afraid that may be what their ultimate plan is. First, they want something from me. When they get it, I don’t think either of us has a long life expectancy.”

She sucked in a deep breath, but to her credit, she didn’t cry. He admired that at least.

“There should be some men looking for us. I’m going to do my best to buy time for them to find us. If you can help in any way, do it.”

“I don’t know what I can do.”

“There might not be anything, but watch for any opportunity and take it.”

“I will, Adam. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.”

When they arrived at the destination, it was a carriage house at a large estate. They were both taken into the carriage house. Adam was tied to a pair of posts and his clothing was cut away to his waist. They told him he could make it easy on himself and tell them the answers to the questions they had. There was a sheet of paper with those questions which must have been submitted by someone else. Apparently, they didn’t expect him to answer without any persuasion and were making it clear to him what the persuasion was going to be. They asked the first question and Adam didn’t answer. A cigarette was snuffed out under his arm. He tried to twist away from the pain, but of course, he couldn’t. The question was asked again, and when he refused to answer again, a knife cut was made across his chest. It was shallow but it bled quite a lot. The third refusal led to salt being thrown into those two fresh wounds. It went on from there with dozens of painful wounds being inflicted. Camelia yelled and complained and argued until she screamed at them to stop.

“My uncle told us we had a deal to leave the country. You have no right to do this to him or to keep me here against my will.”

The men laughed and told them that the list of questions as well as the instructions for what they were doing came from her uncle. The men wanted to know what Adam had found out, who he had told, where any reports had been filed, and what reports could yet be filed to implicate others and turn the investigation away from her uncle. She tried to run from the carriage house then, but the men easily caught her and threw her to the floor. Every time she resisted in any way, she got the same kind of treatment. She lost track of the number of times she was thrown to the floor, against the wall, or into the wooden partition next to where Adam was bound.

They found so many ways to hurt Adam without threatening his life that he began to wonder if he might break and tell them what they wanted just to get them to stop. He didn’t though. He had to buy time for someone to find him if they could. At least, he had to hope that there were men looking for him. Most of the time, he was in too much agony to think about who they could be and what obstacles they must be facing, but at times he was aware. Those were the worst times because it made him want to give up. It seemed the odds were too great against him, but he was too stubborn to let them win after all he had already given up.

Retreating into his mind, Adam tried to ignore some of the pain. At times it worked and the pain was less. The burns were the worst. That first cigarette burn still smarted hours after it was inflicted. There had been others. All of the men in the carriage house smoked and as cigarettes got down to nubs, they put them out with his flesh. They had assumed correctly that he wouldn’t be an easy man to break. The torture had started almost before he had a chance to tell them anything not that he would have anyway. He screamed sometimes when they did something unexpected. He tried not to do that but at times it couldn’t be helped. Groans and moans slipped out too when the pain was too much to bear. Then he did his best again to retreat into his mind and think about something else.

The torture continued into the next day. Adam was getting weaker, and they noticed. One of the villains said they ought to push harder before he was unconscious or died without giving them anything. It was clear that they feared her uncle and his retribution if they failed to get what he wanted. Adam’s pants were dropped to the floor. A knife was held to his private area until it drew some blood. The man asked him if he had wanted to have children. He said Adam better talk or forever lose that ability and die a gelding. They were so focused on that task, they didn’t see shadows at the windows. They also had no fear of Camelia and had not tied her. They had used only intimidation as well as force to keep her cowering in fear of what they might do to her that was worse.

But what they had done to Adam and what they were about to do to him gave her courage she didn’t know she had. As stealthily as she could, she moved forward and took a pistol from one man who didn’t notice as intent as he was on the scene before him. She backed away and was behind a three-foot-high wooden barrier when men broke through the doors of the carriage house. That started a gunfight, but she broke the standoff that might have happened. Waiting for a chance to help, she got one soon enough. The man who had held a knife to Adam’s privates and threatened to castrate him had dived for cover as soon as trouble started. But then he must have figured that Adam was his ticket out of there and began to move toward him. That’s when she fired from behind hitting him and putting those other men in a crossfire. Shocked by that, they surrendered. They had not killed anyone yet so prison was what they faced, and they probably assumed that their powerful allies would save them from that.

When she saw Dee, she was afraid he might arrest her, but he mostly ignored her and got ready to take the men away leaving Adam to the care of the other men. Based on things Adam had told her, she guessed two of the men there were his brothers. One of the others was the man who had been hit in the hallway, Candy. He’s the one who said the man she had shot was dead. That’s when it all hit her, and she sank to the floor.

Hoss was getting Adam loose, and he was carefully easing him to the floor too. Joe was helping as much as he could. There were no injuries to his legs so they pulled up his pants. His torso and arms were covered with wounds though and slippery with blood.

“We’ll get you some help, Adam. We’ll get you out of here and get you somewhere safe.”

“Hoss, I’ll go find a sheet or something that we can wrap around him.”

Candy stepped over to them then and asked what they would do with Camelia. She heard Adam then. She thought he must hate her, but his words belied that.

“She’s coming with us. I want her to be with us.”

It shocked her that he told the others that he wanted her with him. They didn’t like it, but she could tell they were used to taking his orders especially when he used that tone of voice that said he wasn’t going to accept any argument. His voice was weak, but that tone was there. When Joe got back with a sheet to wrap around Adam, the two brothers lifted him up to get him out of that torture chamber. Hoss figured the sooner he was out of that building, the better. Candy helped her stand, and they all went outside to see the arrested men being taken away. None of them knew the city well enough to know where to take Adam for medical care. Dee gave them another option.

“You can use the house there as no one will be home for quite a while. They’ll be in jail, and we’re going to make sure none of them get bail because they’re all flight risks as well as protected witnesses. I’ll send a doctor.”

Adam had groaned in pain when he was lifted. She had heard him when they cut him loose from that post, but the pain must be even worse now that he was being moved. Every movement seemed to cause even more pain. His younger brother looked at Camelia. “Are you proud of what you’ve done?”

“Joe, she didn’t know.”

Again, Adam came to her defense. He knew she had been stupid and foolish, but he didn’t blame her. None of them including Camelia knew how he could forgive her so easily. It was only later that she realized it wasn’t so easy. His brothers did their best to clean him up and ease his pain. When the doctor came, there were a couple of hours of stitching and cleaning, and bandaging until the doctor was satisfied that he had done all that he could do. It had been another two hours of torture even if they all meant well. Finally, Adam lay still and resting in a bed. The doctor wanted him to sleep, but he asked to talk with Camelia. She was still on his mind, and he needed to say a few things to get them off his chest before he could sleep.

“I don’t blame you. You were a victim as much as I was. But I can’t trust you either. You lied to me. You betrayed me to your uncle’s men. I understand your reasons, but I can’t accept them. They weren’t good enough. I wanted you to come to me. I wanted you to trust me so that I could trust you. That isn’t possible now. This is the second time you almost got me killed because you trusted someone else more than me. I do believe you love me, but that love isn’t strong enough. I will help you, but there is no more us.”

Devastated, she wanted to run from that room, but she didn’t know where she would go. She had nothing. He knew that too.

“I will help you find a job if that is what you want. It will be a respectable job, but you are going to have to support yourself until you can find a man to marry who will accept you as you are. I would suggest that you don’t go back east. There will be those seeking revenge there. They won’t likely make the effort to seek you out across a continent, but if you make it easy for them, they make take advantage of the opportunity to set an example for others.”

“Well, you seem to have all this all planned out.”

She felt weak and was sure her voice could barely be heard.

“I had to go somewhere in my mind while they tortured me. I had to have some problem to work on to use to fight against them. I chose you.”

Nausea and dizziness had been problems for at least a day for Camelia. When she had tried to help Adam a number of times, she had been forcibly thrown aside or back when she did so. She even tried to get out of the carriage house to run for help, and that didn’t end well either. They didn’t tie her up. Somehow, they seemed to enjoy playing that game with her like a cat playing with a mouse. With what Adam said to her, the last of her strength failed, and she collapsed because she couldn’t fight anymore.

When she awoke, she was in a bed and had a bandage around her head and another around her chest. She didn’t see anyone in the room, but she still blushed knowing that those men must have undressed her. She was in some sort of sleep shirt which was soft and comfortable, soothing even, but she could feel it from her shoulders to her knees. That meant her other clothing was gone. She must have made some kind of noise because Candy was soon there.

“Ah, you’re awake. The doctor said if you didn’t wake up, we were going to have to wake you so I’m glad you managed on your own. Are you thirsty?”

“What happened?”

There was so much more she wanted to ask, but that was enough without getting into specific things. He seemed the type who liked to talk so she guessed it might be enough. It was.

“Once you fell face down on the floor or before that?”

“Once I fainted.”

Smiling at her obvious embarrassment, he pulled a chair close to the bed and began his tale.

“Once Adam got done skewering you, you ‘fainted’ dead away. We carried you from the room, and Hoss noticed blood on his sleeve. It was the first we realized you were hurt. Joe went after the doctor and brought him back to take a look at you. Seems you were hurt in more ways than that cut on your head. The doctor asked who had been beating you. Well, we told him you had been held by the same men who had tortured Adam. We got a good dressing down then for not having him examine you before he left the first time. You have a probable concussion and some ribs that may be cracked. He’s concerned too about some bruising on your back. You’re going to be in bed here for a while until he clears you to be up and about. Don’t worry though. We’re experienced in taking care of people who are hurt.”

“Yes, I imagine all of you are. I’ve seen Adam’s scars.”

That made her shut her mouth in a hurry. Candy had a slight grin though all he did was nod a bit. He offered a drink of water, and she agreed mainly for the distraction. Then he talked to her about Adam.

“I don’t know Adam very well, but I do know he’s been hurt often. He’s a proud man too and as stubborn as any Cartwright.”

“That’s not helping.”

“Give me a moment to get where I’m going. He may not be a lost cause. You need to show you do trust him. You need to explain why you did what you did instead of what he expected. He should be better than most at understanding that. If he ever loved you, he still does. If you love him, you should be willing to fight for him. Love isn’t perfect, and no one we love is ever perfect. We all have to do the best we can do. You made mistakes. You did what you could do to try to fix them. The villains are locked up or being arrested. It wasn’t a good solution, but it worked. I suggest you need to talk to Adam more and follow his advice.”

“You think he’s smarter than me?”

“Probably but certainly more experienced and better able to handle problems from what I’ve seen.”

“I think you’re right. I was so busy trying to impress him, I think I forgot about all of that.”

When Candy got done counseling Camelia, it was time to work on Adam. At the end of their discussion, if one could call the charges, countercharges, and downright insults that were hurled a discussion, they parted amiably enough. Well, Adam told Candy to get out, and he did. Hoss and Joe were waiting outside the room.

“Candy, that was Bunker Hill and Gettysburg rolled up into one in there.”

“Joe, I think Candy held his own almost as well as Pa could do against Adam. That is the most gumption we’ve seen from ole Adam in a spell too. I think it was good for him.”

“I’ve been through Indian Wars, stampedes, and prairie fires, and all of those paled in comparison to an argument with your oldest brother.”

“Sounds about right, don’t it, Joe?”

“Sure does.”

All Candy could do was shrug and tell them he hoped it got that stubborn, pig-headed, self-righteous, holier-than-thou brother of theirs to use his head instead of acting like a little boy having a tantrum. Something hit the door then which meant Adam had heard everything. They left to give him time to cool down. Smarter than the usual cowboy, Candy stayed away for a couple of days.

A day after Candy’s visit, Adam managed to hobble down to Camelia’s room, knocked, and went in to talk to her. The others waited and it stayed pretty quiet so they only waited. After two hours though, they got worried. Hoss knocked on the door and opened it. Adam was sitting by her bed and motioned for Hoss to come closer but to be quiet. Camelia was asleep, and Adam needed help to get back to his room. Hoss called Joe in, and Adam accepted their help. The most important thing was that he told them that Camelia was coming back to the Ponderosa with them whenever the two of them were ready to travel.

“We have not worked anything out, but we agree that we need more time to talk. She may be staying there or she may leave. Either way, she is my friend.”

Adam wasn’t fooling anyone except maybe himself. A couple of days later, Joe and Candy went back home. About a week later, Hoss packed up Adam and Camelia. It took some time for them to make the trip, but they arrived much as you would expect, healthy, exhausted, and arguing quite often. However, when they weren’t arguing, they smiled at each other and talked about many other things. They had many similar interests so there were many things for them to discuss.

Journal Entry 4

Life on the Ponderosa is certainly different with a woman around. I never thought of how things might change because there was a woman here. The things I thought would change, didn’t. I worried about having to dress up more or having prissy curtains in the bunkhouse or maybe having to take a bath more often. Instead, we get our laundry done on a regular basis so we have clean clothes to wear. Mister Cartwright has added a clothing allowance for hands so we each have been able to get an extra set of clothing and some extra socks. No one would expect that little things like that could improve the mood of men so much but they did. Now, if anyone could improve the mood of that dark-haired Cartwright, we would all be better off. We’re worried he’s going to drive her off with his surly attitude and the way he ignores her a lot of the time heading off to do things he and Joe thought needed to be done. Somebody ought to give him a kick in the backside. It ain’t going to be me though. I like my job.

What Happened Next 4

Sleeping arrangements were a worry for Ben when Adam and Camelia arrived, but he didn’t worry for long. Adam showed no interest in a physical relationship with his guest. Although they spent quite a bit of time together, there was no touching of any kind. He seemed to avoid even the simplest of polite gestures that would require him to take her hand or offer his arm letting his brothers do the honors of helping her into or out of a carriage or escorting her as needed. As the two took a stroll on an unusually mild very late autumn day, Hoss and Joe commiserated with their father about the situation.

“Pa, me and Joe were hoping he would forgive her and maybe settle down with her. Instead he seems like he ain’t got no interest in being with her at all.”

“Yeah, he acts like he doesn’t even want to be in the same room with her.”

“But where are they now?”

“Out walking like they do all the time. Pa, that’s just it. There’s walking and talking and playing chess, but there ain’t no spark of nothing.”

“Hoss, it’s a banked fire if I’m reading this right.”

“A what?”

“Adam wants to make sure about everything else before he lets his attraction to her overwhelm his good senses. She’s letting him have his time to get over what happened and come to terms with it. You know how he broods on things and has to mull it all over.”

“Do you think she’s all right with this?”

“Joe, she’s here with him. He spends time with her. He hasn’t sent her away and it’s been quite a long time. She’s getting to know all of us. Yes, I think she’s all right with this.”

“For how long?”

“That is a good question. Adam needs to make up his mind soon. She’s not going to wait around forever. Patience has limits. I doubt she wants to have winter arrive and be trapped here with no answer.”

Outside, the conversation was running along similar lines. Camelia had given Adam a lot of time and had been patient, but she was looking at winter coming and thought something needed to change.

“Perhaps it’s time for me to look at getting a room in town and finding a job. There’s a job at Miss Hardy’s seamstress shop. I could do that kind of work and afford a room with Missus Hawkins. At church on Sunday, I got the offers from both of them.”

Surprised, Adam wasn’t sure how to react. He had thought he had a few more weeks, but this pushed him into a difficult position.

“When would you start?”

Camelia’s heart was broken by that. She had hoped he would tell her to stay on the Ponderosa. Instead, he was ready for her to leave.

“I guess I could start at any time. So you think it’s a good idea. You want me to leave?”

“I want you to do what you want to do.”

“So I guess I should pack my things and get ready to move.”

“There’s no rush. You can talk to them next Sunday.”

“No, if you want me to go, I’ll go pack right now.”

With tears glistening in her eyes, she turned and fled to the house not wanting to break down in front of him. She had hoped for so much more. Inside, the other members of the family were surprised as she rushed through and up the stairs. When Adam didn’t come inside, they got more worried. Ben was going to go outside to talk with him, but Hoss said he would be a better one to do that.

“Don’t hit him.”

Hoss waved a hand at Joe for that one as he grabbed his hat and coat. He didn’t see Adam outside, but there was a glow of light from the barn. Inside, he found Adam currying his horse. Even after all this time, Hoss could see how difficult it was for him to reach the back of the horse and pull down.

“Shoulders haven’t completely healed yet, have they?”

A shrug was all the response he got.

“About as well as you and Camelia too it seems.”

Adam stopped and dropped his head before turning to Hoss.

“She wants to move to town and work at Miss Hardy’s seamstress shop.”

“She wants to do that or she got asked to do that and she ain’t been given any other options?”

“I need a little more time. I had some ideas.”

“Did you share those ideas with her?”

His silence was answer enough.

“Seems like it’s time for you to really talk with her. You been having all these talks but you never seem to get around to talking about what’s really important. Time just ran out.”

“So much has happened between us.”

“Yup, and the two of you are still together here. That should tell you something. I know she made mistakes. She ain’t perfect. She knows that too. But she loves you, and she knows you aren’t perfect either. And she still loves you.”

“I agree with Hoss.”

Candy walked in with a bottle and three tin cups.

“I saw Joe outside with these, but he looked too nervous to bring them in. I volunteered to do it. Adam, I think your little brother is afraid of you.”

A smirk was the only answer to that. Hoss had a better answer.

“Tell him to bring another cup and come on in. We’re telling Adam what to do. It feels good.”

“Maybe for you.”

“Hoss, you already told him all he needs to hear. Now he has to figure out a plan. One thing I know is that he won’t do anything without a plan.”

“Maybe I already have a plan.”

“You going to tell us what it is?”

“No.”

“All right, then I guess all we can do is drink this brandy Pa sent out to us.”

When they got inside, Ben asked if things were settled. Hoss gave an enigmatic answer.

“As well as they can be.”

They all trudged up to bed and Ben followed. Later, Adam went downstairs to get something warm to drink to settle his stomach. The brandy was burning there. As he worked in the kitchen, he heard some sounds in the great room and looked out to see Camelia adding wood to the fire before she settled on the settee. He went back into the kitchen and made two cups instead of one carrying it out to her startling her a bit.

“I thought it was Hop Sing in the kitchen. I didn’t want to bother him.”

“No, my stomach needed something to settle it. Hot chocolate is always good for that. I brought one for you too.”

Sitting on the settee next to her, he handed her a cup. She was surprised that he sat so close that they were touching. They were quiet and sipped their chocolate for a time until he took her nearly empty cup from her hands and set it on the table in front of them next to his cup. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders then and held her close. She hoped he was going to tell her to stay, but he didn’t.

“I still want you to move to town and take a room at the boarding house.”

“You do?”

Her voice was shaky.

“Yes, because when people hear we’re going to be married, they will assume all sorts of things about what is going on here, and I don’t want any talk to start.”

“What? We’re getting married?”

“Yes, we are. You want to marry me, don’t you?”

“Yes, but you haven’t asked me.”

“Oh, I have to ask you? Camelia, will you marry me?”

She stammered not sure what to say until he pulled her closer and kissed her. It had been a long time since they had kissed. She responded and wrapped her arms around his neck to hold him close. After a few minutes, he broke the kiss.

“May I assume that was an affirmative answer.”

“You are a strange man, Adam Cartwright.”

“And yet you are going to marry me.”

“Yes, I will, but when?”

“First, I have another question. You had said you would travel with me for five years to get away from your uncle. Will you travel with me just because I want to do that?”

“Of course I would.”

“Then I think we should get married soon. We need to leave before the snow locks us in here for the winter.”

“Oh, that soon.”

“Yes, is that a problem?”

“No, it’s just a surprise. I don’t have a dress to wear.”

“You can work on one at the shop. It will be your first project there. I’ll order it, and then you can work on it.”

“Do you have everything planned out?”

“Not everything, but we do have to break this up or the gossips in town will have reason to be spreading stories about us.”

Almost without her noticing, his hand had moved from her knee and pushed her gown and robe upward until he was caressing her thigh. Her hand had moved to his chest and slipped inside his robe to touch him discovering that he wore nothing underneath.

“I don’t know. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate our engagement.”

She pulled the sash on his robe and then opened it. With that invitation, he pushed her robe and gown higher. Pulling her to him, he kissed her as they joined in love they could finally admit to each other. Covered by Adam’s robe, they were as discreet as possible under the circumstances. Hugging afterward, they didn’t want to go to their separate bedrooms.

“I don’t want to irritate my father and start trouble when things have been peaceful lately. Maybe we could sleep here until near dawn and then go to our rooms.”

“Adam, I would like that. Will you be comfortable enough though. I know your shoulders are still sore.”

“Hoss just had to talk about that, didn’t he?”

“He didn’t say anything. I’ve been watching you, and I could tell tonight by how you held me.”

“They are a little stiff yet, but sitting beside you like this is not a strain. If I had to keep an arm around your shoulders for a length of time, that would bother me, or rather that would bother my shoulder.”

“So if we snuggled next to each other like this, you would be all right?”

“I would be fine.”

Raising an eyebrow at that, she got a smile.

“I would be all right.”

Camelia snuggled into his chest and fell asleep. Adam relaxed. Everything that had happened between them on this evening had confirmed to him how much she trusted him. He still had doubts, but he knew he would always have doubts. It was the kind of man he was. If he was going to be happy though, he needed to move on past those doubts and do what he knew he should do. This evening had been a huge step forward. Closing his eyes, he fell asleep and slept soundly for the first time in a long time only to be awakened by his father when he slept past his normal time to awaken.

“Adam, perhaps you and Camelia would like to go upstairs before your brothers come down?”

Surprised at the gentle tone of his father’s words, Adam agreed. His father wasn’t done though.

“Your room or hers would be far more discreet than the settee, don’t you think?”

With a small smile and a nod, Adam gathered up his petite fiancé and headed up the stairs pausing only to tell his father the news.

“Six weeks until the wedding if all goes well.”

Upstairs, debating on what to do, Adam chose his room. Depositing Camelia gently on his bed, he pulled the covers over her before he moved to his dresser to shave. Once he did that and cleaned up a little, he dropped his robe and slid in beside her. The movement made her stir so he kissed her. She slid over to wrap an arm around him but then gradually became aware of her surroundings.

“Your room?”

“Yes.”

“You’re naked.”

“Yes.”

“Tell me what happened.”

“We can talk later.”

Further questions were stopped by his kisses and he pulled open her robe and pushed up her gown. The more he did, the more she willingly participated. She only had him pause so she could remove the robe and gown and then got back to kissing and touching before confirming their love once again.

“I would love to stay here with you, but I need to get downstairs to breakfast with my father and brothers. I will tell them the news and start the planning for our wedding. You can rest if you wish. I can tell them you didn’t sleep much and need to get caught up.”

“That part is true at least. All right. I’ll be down later.”

As he dressed, he told her about his father waking him and what was said that morning, and about carrying her up the stairs. She could tell he was pleased with the way his father had reacted, and she liked it too. Camelia heard a few whoops and hollers after Adam left. She guessed his brothers were happy with the news. She had a few whisker burns from the night before which couldn’t be helped, and she smiled as she remembered how she got them. Smiles greeted her when she went downstairs, and congratulations were in order too. Plans were underway for when and how she would move to the boardinghouse. She had forgotten about that and realized why Adam had been so insistent on making love to her that morning.

“Adam and Hoss are getting the carriage ready. It’s a cool day so they’re putting the sides in and making sure you will be warm for the ride to town. We will miss you until you return here as Adam’s wife.”

As Camelia was thanking Ben, she realized Adam had not said anything about travel so she said nothing either only agreeing with his statement. If he was under the impression that the two of them were coming to stay on the ranch after their marriage, she wasn’t going to be the one to tell him that might not be true.

Soon Hoss and Adam were inside with the news that as soon as she could pack, the carriage was ready for the trip to town. The sounds of a carriage were heard about then confusing everyone until they heard a familiar voice.

“Damn, Candy, it’s good to see you. It’s been a damn long time.”

“It sure has.”

“Where is that damn Cartwright anyway?”

“There’s a bunch of Cartwrights here, but if you mean Adam, he’s in the house.”

“I got some damn bad news so be ready to give me some damn cover if he has his usual reaction. By now, you most likely know what I damn well mean.”

“I do. Go on up to the house unless you’re afraid to tell him.”

“Never been afraid of him a damn hour of a day, but this news could damn well bother him a lot.”

“You talking loud so he already knows it’s bad news?”

“That was the general idea.”

Once inside, Dee was greeted by the family. He saw Adam and Camelia smiling and assumed the best.

“You are glowing, my dear. I’m hoping that means you’re married?”

“Not yet.”

That deflated Dee who flopped into a chair. He looked at Adam with a frown.

“Damn, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“I asked her to marry me. It will be in about six weeks.”

“Not soon enough.”

“What? I know you brought bad news, but what could it have to do with us not being married?”

Even as he said it, Adam got a feeling he knew what it was. Camelia was in the dark though and waited for Dee’s answer.

“Camelia, your uncle seems to have fled the country. At least that’s what we assume. Some people are damned upset about that. Those same people are talking about charging you.”

“But there wouldn’t be a case against him without her.”

“I know that, Adam, but she worked with him too for a long time. And she was his ward, and he used her to get to you, and you damn well know all the rest. You’re the main witness too, so I was sent here to bring you back as a witness or at least to get your detailed statement about her activities and to place her under arrest.”

“But if we were married?”

“You know the answer to that.”

“Why don’t you enjoy the hospitality here. I have an errand in town. I’ll talk to you later. Camelia, come with me. Hoss, I think I’m going to need you too.”

“Can I do anything, Adam?”

Walking over to Joe, Adam whispered to him and Joe headed up the stairs.

“Dee, the weather isn’t the best and it’s already afternoon. We may not be back until morning.”

“That’s quite all right. I see a chess board. Mister Cartwright, do you play?”

Leaving Dee and Ben to discuss chess, Adam and Hoss headed out with Camelia. Joe tossed two bags out the upstairs window to Adam and got a thank you. Hoss asked why he was coming along wondering if Adam expected some kind of trouble.

“Trouble is always a possibility, but in this case, I wanted my best man to be with me for the wedding. I had Joe pack up what we would need. One of these bags is for you.”

That shocked both Camelia and Hoss who recovered quickly as they understood why he had changed plans so quickly. In town, they had some shopping to do, rooms to reserve, and then to see a minister to convince him to marry them on very short notice. Adam explained everything to him which took quite a bit of time, but eventually, he understood and accepted the rationale for performing the ceremony as requested. After congratulating his brother and his new sister-in-law, Hoss had a question for Adam.

“It’s done then. Why can’t we return to the Ponderosa now?”

“We can’t let anyone annul the marriage. A marriage that has been consummated cannot be annulled, at least not without some great evidence that something was done illegally.”

Camelia smiled at that, but Hoss actually blushed a little. Adam sent Hoss to the hotel restaurant to have a big meal to celebrate while he took his bride to their room. Hoss’ second purpose was fulfilled in the dining room as people came up to him to ask about Adam and Camelia, and he gave a polite version of events about how they loved each other so much they could no longer wait, but that there would be a party to celebrate as soon as it could be arranged.

In the restaurant, there were several travelers who were not much interested in the story. One of them was interested though in what had happened to his niece and nodded at each new part of the story that was told.

The next day, the three Cartwrights headed home. Camelia noted how alert her husband and his brother were especially until they left town.

“Before we get to the ranch, I think there are some things we need to discuss. First things first, you think my uncle might be here or coming here, don’t you?”

“I do, and I think Dee does as well. He showed up at the ranch, but I recognized some of his men in town. He knows he doesn’t need reinforcements for us, so he brought them for another purpose. By now, he’s probably explained it all to Pa, and I assume there are probably some precautions being taken.”

“Dee knew exactly what you had planned, didn’t he? And he was so calm about it because he wanted you to do it and had men in town already to protect us when you came to town to get married?”

“I think that about sums it up.”

“Why didn’t he just tell you?”

“He couldn’t tell me to do something like that.”

“Oh, I suppose with his orders and his job, that wouldn’t have been a good thing to do.” After a short pause, Camelia continued. “But he doesn’t really think my uncle has left the country either. That’s why he brought those extra men. We’re the bait in the trap now, aren’t we?”

“Yes, based on earlier messages I got, we’re the two main witnesses left against your uncle. If we’re gone, they don’t have much of a case against him. Knowing he’s guilty won’t help them prove he’s guilty. Now, let’s talk about something else.”

“How about your father then? He seems to have changed his attitude toward you.”

“We only talked briefly about that when I thanked him for how he handled things with us yesterday morning. He asked if we could put all our past differences behind us and try to start fresh. I agreed that might be the best way to go. Instead of bringing up past grievances, we will work on our present relationship to see how that works. So far, it’s going better.”

Hoss had been silent until then.

“Pa told us he found the two of you asleep on the settee yesterday morning. Joe and I snickered a little wondering what you two had been doing to fall asleep on the settee together. Pa said what goes on between a man and a woman is no business of anybody else. Surprised the heck out of us. Of course, it pretty much told us what he thought happened on that settee. Then when you said you was getting married, did you hear him say, Thank God, before he said his congratulations?”

Adam had to grin at that question. They all did. Hoss’ grin didn’t last when Camelia asked the next question.

“When are you going to tell him your plans to travel?”

“You’re leaving?”

“Hoss, you must have known that was going to happen.”

“I did, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be for a while yet.”

“We’ll be back. I think Camelia likes it here, and so do I. I want to be back more, and we’ll have to decide where to live too.”

“On the Ponderosa?”

Hoss was hopeful, but Adam shook his head.

“No, but reasonably close although it could be California. Camelia and I will talk about that and tell the family when we have a decision on our plans. First though, we have to deal with her uncle.”

That sounded easier than it was. Nothing happened for weeks. Dee announced that he would have to leave. With Adam married and unwilling to testify against his wife, Dee could not carry out his orders. With the official word that her uncle had fled the country and no proof that he had not, Dee could not delay any longer. He and his men packed up and got on the train out of town. Her uncle had been waiting patiently for that to happen. The guards at the Ponderosa were getting careless too with no sign of any kind of threat. He waited until the following Sunday when most of the family headed to church. Adam and Camelia were still being careful and stayed on the ranch. He knew the cook had Sunday off so he entered the house through the kitchen and surprised the couple as they sat by the fireplace.

“Isn’t this cozy? I should just shoot both of you right here, but Camelia, you are my niece. I think you should have the option of a less painful demise. I brought some potion that will let you end your life by going to sleep and not waking up.”

At first, Camelia did nothing, but then slowly bent down to reach for the potion bottle her uncle had tossed onto the table. She never got it though. Grabbing her cup of coffee, she hurled it at her uncle as she and Adam dropped to the floor. Her uncle threw his arm up to protect himself, and then swung around to shoot them even as Dee stepped from the kitchen and fired and Joe opened fire from the upstairs landing. Her uncle was dead before he hit the floor.

“For a damn criminal, he wasn’t too smart. I paid a man to wear my clothes and get on that train to Reno, and Joe had one of the hands wear his clothes this morning and ride to church with the family. You might think he would consider those possibilities.”

Camelia stared at the body of her uncle. The ordeal was over.

“I’m damn glad he didn’t. Terrible relatives seem to be a damn Cartwright trait.”

They had the good graces not to laugh, but it was difficult. Later, they did laugh.

Until Christmas, Adam and Camelia stayed on the ranch as Adam made plans for their first trip. Then it was off to San Francisco for a short time before they sailed to the Sandwich Islands. As he promised, just over a year later, Adam was back for a long visit setting a pattern for himself and his family.