The Cartwright brothers – you know them, you love them, but let’s face it – after all these years things have gotten pretty predictable around the Ponderosa. It’s the same old story in a nutshell…
Chapter 1
Joe gets shot by some outlaws. Adam patches him up and takes him home where Hoss rides for the doctor who says he’s done all he can for the boy. Ben keeps watch during a long night remembering Joe as an angel-faced mischievous mop top. Tears are shed. The next day Adam and Hoss track down the perpetrators and bring them to justice. Joe miraculously recovers. Adam and Hoss tease him about loafing. Everyone laughs. All is well.
Chapter 2
Adam falls ill with a fever on the trail with Hoss. Hoss nurses him and gets him home to the Ponderosa where Joe rides for the doctor who says it’s out of his hands. Ben keeps watch during the night remembering Adam as an adorable little boy on the wagon train west. Tears are shed. Adam miraculously recovers. Joe and Hoss give him a hard time about shirking work. Everyone laughs. All is well.
Chapter 3
Hoss gets hurt and loses his memory. He goes to live with another family until he remembers. His real family misses their much loved gentle giant and sheds happy tears when he returns. Nobody teases anyone, not even when Hoss wears a cap that makes him look ridiculous. There are lots of hugs and plenty of doughnuts to celebrate his homecoming. All is well.
Chapter 4
Ben gets kidnapped by bad men who hold him for ransom. The brothers can’t agree on what to do but Adam guilts them into going with his plan because he’s the oldest and supposedly the smartest. Everything works out in the end with hugs, laughter, and tears even though Adam admits he was only guessing, and they all go home to Hop Sing’s delicious supper of roast pork that’s not the least bit dried out. All is well.
Chapter 5
Adam thinks Joe is a lazy spoiled brat. Joe thinks Adam is a bossy granite head. Hoss is stuck in the middle trying to make peace. They all fight in the mud. Ben reminds them they are stronger together and to cut out the crap. They shake hands, hug, and get cleaned up for dinner. That night Hoss and Joe play checkers and Adam reads a book in his favorite blue chair while Ben smokes his pipe looking smug. All is well.
Chapter 6
Someone wants revenge on Joe. Meanwhile Hoss is framed for murder, and Adam finds out his doppelganger has ruined his credit score. Ben dispenses fatherly wisdom along with hugs. The boys eventually work things out on their own. All is well, at least for now.
Chapter 7
Joe ropes Hoss into another one of his hare-brained schemes, which backfires as usual. Adam smirks in the background as they dig themselves in deeper and deeper. Ben yells a lot, cuts their allowances to cover the damages, and makes them dig the new outhouse. Nobody feels much like hugging, but all is mostly well.
Chapter 8
A brother is in trouble or in danger. Another brother saves his bacon. It doesn’t matter which one. When in doubt go with youngest because he’s the best at crying. All will certainly be well.
Chapter 9
A Cartwright falls in love. It doesn’t end well. Ever.
END
This was a fun story to read, Made me laugh. Quite interesting. Thanks
I’m always happy when I can make someone laugh. Thanks for reading, Hope. 🙂
Your story is so much fun! Thanks!!! But I missed Joe trying to prove to his brothers that he is already an adult, and for that doing something crazy that will prove that he is still immature!!! But that’s not a problem, because with the help of the whole family, everything will turn out fine and Ben will throw a party for the whole neighborhood, with our cowboys showing off their good dancing skills. Ben, all proud of his male and conquering children, will be enjoying the punch prepared by Hop Sing.
Your review made me laugh because I can see that so clearly! You hit the nail on the head, Maria. Thanks for reading and brightening my day with your take on life at the ranch. 🙂
There are no new plots but a lot of new stories.
Yes, indeed. 🙂 Thanks for reading, Anne.
No tears are shed (except those of laughter). All is well. Which is all to say I thoroughly enjoyed this, JC!
You made my day, Puchi! Thanks for reading. 🙂
Fun little read (although we know Bonanza could NEVER be that predictable!). Thanks for sharing.
Now, I know you didn’t write that with a straight face…
😉
Thanks for reading, pjb!
What a hoot! My face hurts from grinning ear to ear as I read through these bonanza tropes. In addition to tied-up Joe (already mentioned), we can add (1) rarely mentioned relatives, (2) Ben’s long lost loves and (3) friends/foes from Ben’s past showing up to enlighten the boys on their pa’s history.
Yes, Ben had relatives coming out of the woodwork, didn’t he? I may have to explore that one further at some point. And talk about a ladies man, he must have had a girl in every port and army post, lol. Thanks for reading, Cheaux! 🙂
Lots of smiles and
memories on this one. Where’s HopSing?
I’m going back to China to much foolishment!All is well.
Hop Sing is at home basting the pork roast, but his bags are packed just in case, lol! Thanks for reading, Judi. 🙂
This was hysterical! I think the only trope you forgot was a blue dress. Or was that covered by “it doesn’t end well. Ever”? 😋😋😋
Seriously, though, I was giggling all the way through, even though I was envisioning trying to explain it to hubby. (That doesn’t end well. Ever.) “If I have to explain it, you couldn’t understand.”
Though not specifically mentioned, the blue dress would definitely be covered, lol. Thanks for reading, Sandspur! 🙂
Loved this comical short story ! I had so much fun picturing the Episodes you found your inspiration from. I had to immediately read it once again and laughed just as hard the second time. Thank you for all the smiles you put on us fans all over the world.
Emie B
Thank so much you, Emie! I’m glad I could make you laugh. I believe laughter is good medicine and the world needs more of it! 🙂
Excellent job! My favorite was the last chapter. ; )
The last chapter is the series in a nutshell — no women allowed, LOL! Thanks for reading, Deborah. 🙂
Fun read, JC*! I think you missed a trope—tied up Joe. 😁
Chapter 8 is a Bonanza truth—mess with one and the rest show up.
Oh, I’m sure I left out a lot of things but that’s what sequels are for, right? 😉 Thanks for reading, Patina!
That was perfectly hilarious! Hubby is wondering why I almost fell off the couch laughing. No way to explain to the uninitiated. LOL!
You’re right, Jojay. The uninitiated will never get it! Thanks for reading. 🙂
Nailed it — I love that show! Thanks for reading, Rachel. 🙂
Haha! You had me chuckling to myself the whole way through. You nailed it perfectly!
I like it. You’ve summed up the 1st six seasons of Bonanza in 9 chapters. Through in a 10th about Mary Sue and OC. and I think you’ll have covered 95% of the fan fiction as well. WunderVah!
I suppose I could have written more but I was going for the abridged version. Glad you liked it. 🙂
😅
🙂
Un grand résumé humoristique de la courte vie des Cartwright, miraculeusement prolongée par les écrits fanfiction. Quand à l’amour d’une femme, le seul ingrédient qui probablement puisse les séparer, ne pas y penser, Bonanza, une histoire d’hommes :-)) Tous pour un et un pour tous, les trois mousquetaires se mettent en quatre pour mieux vous servir (D’Artagnan, histoire française)
Merci, Monika. C’est vrai, un pour tous, tous pour un, Cartwrights pour toujours! 🙂
All is well that ends well; well, at least until the next episode. This was priceless and I’m still giggling over it. Well done.
I love making people laugh, even if it’s just a little. Thanks for reading, AC. 🙂
This is great! I laughed all the way through. 😆 Thanks for a funny short. 👏
Exactly what I was going for, funny and short. Thanks, Bonnie! 🙂
Huh? That can’t be right . . .😁
.
LOL, You know I’m right…right? 🙂
This was rather interesting. Thanks
Thanks for reading, Hope. 🙂
Bravo!!!! The only2 cliches you left out were “Long Lost Friends who turn bad and try to harm the Cartwrights” and the infamous girl who was “like a sister” needs help and/or a romance all ends well.
Nice job!
Praise from the Queen of Bonanza Parody — I’m not worthy! Thanks for reading, Robin. 🙂
Loved it! Hilarious and a great summation.
Love those guys.
We all love them, don’t we? Thanks for reading, Mah. 🙂
I love it! Great parody boiled down to its essence and recognizable by all veteran BZ fans. Ben smiles smugly, Adam’s credit score gets dinged by a lookalike, Joe cries well, Hoss gets sucked into Joe’s harebrained schemes, and Hop Sing makes perfect pork roast. 😀
You got it, Joedi! Thanks for your time and insightful comment. 🙂
This was so much fun to read! Thanks for sharing.
Monette, I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading. 🙂