Summary:  The more things change the more things stay the same.  Twelve looks at the Cartwrights during 1865.

Rating – K – Intended for general audience 5 years and older.  (11,970 words)

 

1865

by Joan

21st January 

‘Must you?’ The sarcasm that dripped from Adam’s voice made his father look up in surprise.  He shook his head slightly as he saw the look on his eldest son’s face as he glanced over at his younger brother, for it had been like this for days now.  Bad enough that they had been snowed in since Wednesday and everyone was getting on each others nerves, but to top it all off Adam had been behaving very strangely for a couple of weeks now. Ben didn’t know what was bothering his eldest son, as the boy never opened up to him at the best of times, but certainly he knew that there was more than Joseph’s over-exuberance that was causing the tone of his voice.

Joe gave his brother an exasperated look. ‘What?’ he replied indignantly. ‘I ain’t doing nothing!’

Adam pointed to his brother’s hand as it drummed on the table. ‘That,’ he spat. ‘Stop that infernal noise will you please?’

‘So – rry!’ said Joe sarcastically and made a face before he went back to studying the chessboard in front of him. Adam buried his nose in his book again and Ben sighed as he settled down and tried to concentrate on his newspaper as he listened to the fire crackling.

‘Stop it!’

Ben dragged his eyes reluctantly up again and this time glanced over at Hoss.

‘Boys is it necessary to keep interrupting me?’ asked Ben testily.

‘Sorry Pa,’ said Hoss. ‘But this little weasel keeps cheating on me.’  He gave Joe a baleful look, which was returned.

‘If you can’t play properly Joseph, then don’t play at all!’ said his father.

Joe turned to face the man. ‘Why does everyone assume that I’m always in the wrong?’ he protested.

‘Because you always are,’ said Adam smugly from behind his book.

‘That ain’t fair!’ said Joe. ‘You stay out of this Adam!’

‘Boys!’ thundered Ben as he flung down his paper. ‘Now I’ve had just about enough of this!  It’s bad enough that we’re stuck in here like this without all of you fighting all the time.  Joseph, either play properly or don’t play at all.  Adam, stop interfering in your brother’s game. Hoss ….’ Ben searched his brain for something to criticise his middle son for. ‘Stop making that noise!’  He rustled his paper and disappeared behind it again with a grunt.

Hoss stopped munching noisily on the mouthful of apple he was eating and swallowed it with a gulp while he glared at Joe who folded his arms and sat back in his chair in a huff. ‘Well I ain’t playing!’ the youngest Cartwright declared.

‘Suits me all right,’ said Hoss. ‘You couldn’t have won anyway.’

‘Who says?’

‘Joseph!’  Joe shut his mouth and slunk back further in his chair at the sound of his father’s voice.

The was silence for a few minutes as Ben and Adam continued to read, Hoss straightened up the chess pieces on the board and Joe stared into the flames.

‘I’m bored,’ said Joe after a while.

‘Read a book,’ said Adam. ‘It’d do you good to expand your mind a bit.’

‘My mind’s expanded enough,’ declared Joe indignantly. He sat forward. ‘What you reading Adam?’

‘Dickens.’

‘Yeah?  Which one?’  There was no response. ‘Which one?’ Joe asked again.

‘Be quiet.  I’m trying to read.’

Joe gave a dramatic sigh and turned to Hoss again. ‘You wanna play another game?’

Hoss gave his younger brother a withering look. ‘You gotta be kidding!’ he exclaimed grumpily. ‘I’d rather shovel snow.’

Joe put his finger up to his lips in a warning gesture, while he glanced over at his father to see if he’d heard. Hoss realised what he’d said too late and gave his father a weak grin as Ben looked up again. ‘Now there’s an idea,’ said Ben. ‘I’m sure that the walking track to the barn could do with shovelling again boys.  That’ll give you something to do.’

Joe gave Hoss a dark look before replying. ‘But we did it this morning,’ he protested.

‘And it needs it again,’ said his father. ‘It might do you good to be out of the house for a while Joseph. Hop to it.’

‘But it’s still snowing,’ said Joe grumpily.

‘You heard Pa,’ said Hoss with a grin. ‘Hop to it.’

‘And you can join him,’ said Ben firmly. ‘You’ll get it done quicker that way.’

‘Don’t see why we just can’t wait until the snow stops,’ grumbled Joe as he got up and went to get his thick coat which hung with the others by the door.

‘And how would we get across to the barn to feed the animals, pray tell?’ asked Adam sarcastically. ‘Or would they manage by themselves?’

‘We could put enough feed out there to last em a week,’ suggested Joe. ‘That way we wouldn’t have to check em every day.’

Adam nodded thoughtfully. ‘And you’ll tell them to eat just a bit each day will you?’ he asked sarcastically.

Joe glared at his brother and made a face before walking to the foyer to get his coat. ‘Come on Hoss,’ he said. ‘Better get away from some people who think they know everything.’  He slammed the front door behind him as he followed his older brother outside.

Ben glanced over at Adam. ‘Is something bothering you son?’ he asked.

‘You mean apart from those two?’ asked Adam from behind his book. When his father didn’t reply, he lowered it with a sigh. ‘There’s nothing wrong,’ he said before putting the book in front of his face again.

‘Well I think there is,’ persisted Ben. ‘You haven’t been yourself for the past couple of weeks son.  There’s obviously something bothering you.’

‘I told you that there’s nothing,’ said Adam, still refusing to lower the book. ‘I’m just edgy being inside all the time I guess.’

Ben frowned and took a couple of puff on his pipe. ‘There’s more to it than that,’ he said. ‘I know you well and ….’  He stopped as Hop Sing came thumping down the stairs muttering to himself.  Ben sat back in his chair, unwilling to ask what the problem was, although he knew that he’d hear about it anyway.

Sure enough, Hop Sing stopped next to his chair and began to wave his arms around. ‘Hop Sing go back Old China when snow melt!’ he shouted.

‘What is it now Hop Sing?’ asked Ben reluctantly.

‘Boys leave rooms in big mess for Hop Sing,’ the man shouted. ‘No time clean big mess!’

‘I’ll speak to them,’ said Ben wearily. ‘I take it you’re not including Adam in that?’

‘No Mr Adam,’ said Hop Sing firmly. ‘Little Joe leave bedclothes all over floor and Mr Hoss have crumbs everywhere!  Hop Sing no time to clean boys’ mess!’ he repeated.

‘I said that I’d speak to them,’ said Ben with a sigh.

‘No cookies for them!’ muttered Hop Sing as he carried his linen basket out to the kitchen. ‘Hop Sing no time for mess!’

Ben sighed again and took a deep puff on his pipe. ‘So?’ he said. ‘Are you going to talk to me about what is bothering you?’ he persisted.

Adam put down his book with a sigh. ‘Pa I told you that there’s nothing bothering me,’ he said. He turned as the front door opened with a bang and Joe and Hoss came in slapping their sides with the cold. ‘You two had better get back out there,’ he warned. ‘Hop Sing is after you.’

Joe gave his brother an indignant look as he stripped off his coat and black gloves. ‘Why?’ he said. ‘What did we do?’

Adam didn’t have a chance to answer as Hop Sing came out from the kitchen brandishing a wooden spoon. ‘Hop Sing got no time for mess!’ he shouted at them.

‘What mess?’ asked Joe, taking a step back to get out of reach of the spoon. ‘I didn’t do nothing!’

‘Exactly Joseph,’ said his father. ‘You didn’t do anything as usual.  You left your room in a mess for Hop Sing so I suggest you get straight on up there and tidy it.’

Joe glowered at his father’s back, but said nothing. Hop Sing reached over and hit Hoss on the side of the head with the spoon. ‘You leave big messy crumbs!’ he shouted. ‘No cookies for you!’

Hoss rubbed the side of his head ruefully. ‘I’ll clean it up Hop Sing,’ he said.

‘You will!’ shouted the cook indignantly. ‘Hop Sing got no time for mess!’

Hoss sighed and began to walk towards the staircase, still rubbing his head.  Joe began to giggle at the sight of his older brother’s dilemma, but his giggling soon turned to a howl as he too was hit on the head by Hop Sing’s spoon. ‘Hey!’ he shouted. ‘I done nothing!’

‘Very true! Now you do something!’ retorted Hop Sing. ‘Upstairs in bedroom!’

Joe began to mutter under his breath as he followed Hoss to the staircase. Ben chuckled as Hop Sing left the room also and noticed that Adam didn’t react at all. With a sigh, he picked up his newspaper again and tried to concentrate on it.

 

21st February 

‘Hoss feeling better?’ asked Joe as he slipped into his spot at the table and looked with distaste at the bowl of soup in front of him.

‘He seemed to be breathing a bit easier when I checked up on him earlier,’ replied his father. ‘And I wouldn’t let Hop Sing see you looking like that at his meal.  He’s in a bad enough mood as it is about the lack of supplies around here.’

‘I told you that I could get the wagon into town,’ said Joe. ‘The trail is almost clear.’

‘Almost isn’t good enough Joseph,’ replied his father. ‘I’m not allowing any of you to take a risk in all this snow.’

‘Besides,’ said Adam. ‘You just want an excuse to get in there. Hop Sing’s supplies would be the last thing on your mind.’

‘Oh!’ said Joe, feigning eyes wide.  ‘The sphinx can speak, can he?’

‘Joseph that is enough,’ said Ben tersely. ‘I’m sick and tired of all this bickering between the three of you.  At least Hoss isn’t down here at the moment to add to it.’

‘Well I’m sick of him,’ said Joe, indicating Adam with his spoon. ‘He never even talks to me lately except to grumble about something I’ve done.’

Ben was silent.  It was true … Adam had been in a difficult mood for ages now and he still didn’t know why.  Something was obviously eating away at the boy and Ben longed to help him, but he knew from experience that his eldest son wouldn’t open up until he was ready to do so. ‘That’s enough,’ he said finally. ‘Just eat.’  He helped himself to the inevitable vegetable soup that they’d been having for days with a sigh. No one would be gladder than him when they were able to get into town again and Hop Sing could replenish his kitchen supplies.

‘I’m going to try and get on up to the timber mill next week if the trail is clear,’ he said.

Adam looked up sharply. ‘Why?’ he asked.

Ben gave him a surprised look in return. ‘No reason,’ he said. ‘I just want to check it out.  We should be able to move the men up there as soon as the snow thaws and I want to make sure that everything is ready in advance for the cutting.’  Adam lowered his head and said nothing. ‘Is something wrong with that?’ asked Ben after a moment.

‘No.’

‘Maybe big brother’s plans up there ain’t finished yet,’ teased Joe with a grin.

Adam’s head shot up again. ‘Shut up!’ he snarled.

Joe’s face darkened. ‘You shut up!’ he yelled. ‘I was only …’

Ben placed his hand on Joe’s arm. ‘Joe ..’ he warned and waited while the boy regained his composure. ‘Take some soup up to your brother please,’ said Ben after a moment.

‘Why me?’ asked Joe.

‘Because I told you to,’ said Ben.  He waited until Joe had left the room with the soup before turning to Adam. ‘And what, may I ask is wrong with you?’

‘Nothing,’ muttered Adam.

‘Obviously you don’t want me to check on the mill,’ said his father. ‘It is ready, isn’t it?’

Adam shrugged. ‘As ready as it’s going to be,’ he said.

‘And what is that supposed to mean?’

Adam stood up and threw down his napkin. ‘Whatever you want it to mean,’ he said testily. ‘It’s working and that’s all there is to it.’  He strode away from the table and sat in front of the fireplace.

Ben stared at his eldest son for a moment. ‘Is it something about the mill that’s been bothering you?’ he asked finally.

‘No.’

‘Then what?’

Adam stood up again. ‘For heaven’s sake Pa, why don’t you give it a rest?’ he said. ‘I’m going out to the barn to check on the horses.  I don’t suppose that irresponsible brother of mine even thought to feed them before he came in.’ He strode across the room, banging the door as he left the room.

Ben sat at the table by himself, shaking his head. ‘Where everyone go?’ asked Hop Sing as he came into the room. ‘No eat lunch.’

‘Joe will be back in a minute,’ said Ben.  ‘He took some soup up to Hoss. I think that Adam might be finished here.’  He put his face in his hands as Hop Sing left again, muttering in Chinese under his breath.  He didn’t know how much more of this he could take.  One son in a constant bad mood, another up in bed fighting the influenza and the third being his usual irresponsible self.   If he …

‘So where’s the sphinx gone?’ asked Joe as he slid into his place again. ‘Hoss weren’t too happy that it was soup again.’

‘He be lucky him get anything to eat!’ shouted Hop Sing behind them as he plonked a plate of rolls on the table. ‘Hop Sing got no supplies!’

‘Did you have to say that?’ asked Ben wearily. ‘You’ve started him off again.  And as for your brother … well he’s out there doing your chores for you.’

‘What chores?’ asked Joe indignantly. ‘I didn’t leave no chores undone.’

Ben raised an eyebrow at his youngest son. ‘So you did get the horses fed then, did you?’ he asked.

Joe swallowed. ‘Well ….’ he said. ‘Not quite. I was gonna do it later.’

Ben raised the other eyebrow. ‘It’s time you learned a bit of responsibility around here young man,’ he said sternly. ‘Your brothers and I should not have to keep checking on you all the time for your unfinished work.’

Joe lowered his head. ‘Yes sir,’ he said quietly, waiting for the usual lecture to finish.

Ben sighed again and rubbed his temples. ‘Eat your soup Joseph,’ he said wearily.

 

21st March 

‘Where are the eggs?’ asked Joe, looking at the breakfast table closely. ‘We always have eggs.’

‘No eggs today!’ announced Hop Sing.  .

‘Don’t tell me the hens have stopped laying,’ said Ben wearily. ‘What next?’

‘No hens stop laying,’ retorted Hop Sing. ‘Them lay lots eggs, but someone take away before Hop Sing get them.’

‘You mean that someone has been stealing the eggs?’ said Ben. ‘Who on earth would do a thing like that?’

‘Maybe it was coyotes?’ suggested Joe.

Hop Sing shook his head. ‘No,’ he said. ‘No tracks left. No feathers left.  Nothing left.  No eggs left!’  He flounced out of the room angrily, muttering to himself in Chinese.

‘Joe I want you to go and pick up the mail today,’ said Ben, ignoring the cook. ‘There should be a letter from Adam if we’re lucky.’

‘When’s he coming home?’ asked Joe as he helped himself to some oatmeal.

‘I’m not sure,’ replied his father in a worried tone. ‘I hope this trip to San Francisco has done him good though.’

‘So do I,’ retorted Joe. ‘He’s been so grouchy lately.  Always on about me not doing my work.’

Ben raised an eyebrow. ‘Really?’ he said. ‘And I wonder why that is?’

Joe shrugged his shoulders. ‘I dunno,’ he said, oblivious to his father’s sarcasm. ‘It’s sure got me beat.’

‘Where is Hoss?’ asked Ben. ‘It isn’t like him to be late for breakfast.’ Before anyone could say a word, Hoss entered the room and sat down at the table.

‘Sorry I’m late,’ he said. ‘I kinda got caught up with things outside.’

‘There’s no eggs,’ said Joe. ‘Someone got to em before Hop Sing did.’

A momentary look of embarrassment crossed Hoss’ face and he put his head down suddenly. ‘Son?’ said his father suspiciously. ‘Do you know anything about those eggs?’

Hoss didn’t say anything for a moment and then shrugged. ‘Sorta,’ he said.

‘What then?  Did you take them?’

‘Sorta,’ said Hoss, shrugging again.

Ben gave a frustrated sigh. ‘Hoss …. did you or did you not take the eggs this morning?’ he asked, trying to be patient.

‘Well yeah,’ admitted Hoss. ‘I kinda did.’

Ben shook his head. ‘Now why on earth would you take the eggs?’ he asked. ‘Don’t you get enough breakfast as it is?’

Hoss finally looked up. ‘Oh they weren’t for eatin Pa,’ he assured his father. ‘They was fer … other things,’ he finished lamely.

‘What other things?’ asked Joe curiously.

Hoss shot his brother a dark look. ‘Jest other things,’ he mumbled.

‘Hoss, I’m losing patience with you,’ said Ben angrily. ‘Now kindly explain what you’re doing with those eggs please.’

‘I’m painting em,’ mumbled Hoss, going red.

‘You’re painting the eggs?’ said Ben, nonplussed. ‘Whatever for?’

‘Easter eggs,’ mumbled Hoss, trying to ignore Joe’s giggling. ‘Shut up Joe,’ he said finally when his younger brother didn’t stop.

‘Easter eggs!’ shouted Ben. ‘Jumping Jephosophat! What on earth you would want a couple of dozen painted Easter eggs for?’

Hoss gave his father a pained look. ‘Well Sunday is Easter Sunday,’ he said simply.

Joe’s giggles increased. ‘So you’re gonna be the Easter bunny?’ he asked. ‘Oh goody!  Hippety hop! Hippety Hop!  Hey Pa … can I sit up late and watch out for the bunny like you let me when I was little?

Ben gave his youngest son a stern look. ‘That will do!’ he said. ‘Get outside and finish your chores if you’ve finished eating please.’

‘Yeah but can’t I …’  Joe gave a sigh and stood up to leave the room, giving Hoss a playful slap on the shoulder as he passed him. ‘Can I have a big egg on Sunday?’ he asked teasingly, nimbly stepping back just as Hoss reached out to swat him.

Ben waited until Joe had left the room before speaking again. ‘Now why on earth are you painting eggs for Easter Hoss?’ he asked. ‘You haven’t done that since you were a boy.’

Hoss looked at his father pleadingly. ‘It’s fer a present fer someone,’ he said. ‘I don’t want Joe and Adam ta know Pa cause … well you saw Joe … they’ll go on bout it.’

‘Who is the present for son?’ asked his father.

Hoss’ eyes lit up. ‘You heard of the Simmons family that moved inta town last week? Well I done met Margie Simmons a few days ago.  She’s real pretty Pa.’

‘So this present is for her?’

‘Yeah,’ admitted Hoss. ‘I kinda thought … well … she’s got lots of little brothers and sisters ya see and …’ He bent his head and stared at his plate.

‘So you thought a basket of coloured Easter eggs would be a nice present for her brothers and sisters on Sunday?’ asked his father with a twinkle in his eye.

‘Yeah.’

‘And it might help this particular young lady think kindly of you, mightn’t it?’ teased Ben.

Hoss went red. ‘Yeah,’ he said.

‘Well I hope your ploy works then son,’ said Ben, slapping Hoss on the back and giving a short laugh. ‘Only one thing though … next time you decide to do something like this please ask first?’

Hoss grinned at his father. ‘OK Pa,’ he said.

‘Oh .. and Hoss?’

‘Yeah Pa?’

‘You’d better get on out to that kitchen and tell Hop Sing where his eggs have gone.’

Hoss gave his father a pained look. ‘Do I have to?’ he asked.

Ben simply stared at him until he put down his napkin and stood up with a sigh before leaving the room. After a moment Ben heard the sound of yelling coming from the next room and the crashing of saucepans as Hop Sing vented his displeasure at Hoss’ actions. ‘I hope it’s worth it son,’ he murmured to himself as he picked up his coffee cup.

 

21st April 

‘You OK Pa?’ asked Hoss as his father settled himself in his favourite chair next to the fireplace with a sigh.

‘Yes son,’ replied Ben wearily. ‘Just a bit tired that’s all.’  He looked over at Adam. ‘How’s it going up at the mill son?’ he asked.

‘Fine,’ said Adam.

‘Do you think you’ll have that lumber ready for shipment on time?’

‘Hope so,’ said Adam. ‘We’re sure working hard towards it.’

Ben gave another sigh. ‘I’m sorry I’m not being much help to you Adam,’ he said. ‘Once we get the branding finished I’ll be able to give some time to it.’

‘Don’t worry Pa,’ said Adam. ‘It’s fine. We’ve worked under this kind of pressure before.’  He picked up a book and began to read.

Ben gave him a worried look and opened his mouth to speak but before he could, the front door burst open with a bang. He looked over his shoulder. ‘Is it necessary to enter a room like that Joseph?’ he asked crossly. ‘Close that door quietly please!’

Joe gave his father an apologetic look. ‘Sorry Pa,’ he said, closing the door before taking off his hat and coat. ‘Hey Hoss!  I saw Margie Simmons in town and she was asking bout you!’

Hoss leapt forward in his seat. ‘She was?’ he said excitedly.

‘Sure was,’ said Joe, sitting on the edge of the sofa next to his brother. ‘I reckon you should be taking her to the dance on Saturday night brother.’

Hoss shifted uncomfortably in his chair. ‘Nah!’ he said. ‘I reckon not Joe.  I mean …. She wouldn’t want ta go with me.’

‘How do ya know that?’ asked Joe. ‘You and her have been making eyes at each other for weeks now.  I reckon it’s about time you plucked up the courage ta ask her Hoss.’

‘Ya reckon?’

‘Just ask the girl and be done with it, why don’t you?’ said Adam crossly from behind his book and Hoss shot his older brother a hurt look.

‘I’m gonna,’ he said. ‘I’m just getting up the courage is all.’

‘You want me ta practise you like we done before?’ asked Joe, standing up and slapping his brother on the back. ‘We could pretend that you was asking me like we practised when ya asked Bessie Sue out last summer.’

Hoss’ face split into a wide grin. ‘That’d be fine Joe,’ he said.

‘You two can practise later,’ said Ben as he picked up his pipe. ‘There’s chores to be done first. Which reminds me Joseph.  Did you get that Bank Draft for me in town as I asked you to?’

Joe slapped his hand in his forehead and gave his father an apologetic look. ‘Holy Toledo Pa, I forgot!’ he exclaimed.

Ben shook his head. ‘You forgot!’ he said. ‘I’m sick and tired of you forgetting everything you’re told to do!  When are you going to concentrate and do as you’re told?’

‘I’m sorry Pa,’ said Joe. ‘I’ll go in again tomorrow and get it.’

‘You’ll do nothing of the kind,’ said Ben sternly. ‘You’ve wasted enough time today.  Hoss can go in.  At least I’ll know that he’ll get the job done.  Now get to those chores!’

‘Yeah I’ll get it Pa,’ Hoss assured his father. ‘And I reckon I might see Margie when I’m in there too and ask her to that dance.’

‘That’s the spirit,’ said Joe, slapping his brother on the back as they left the room together. ‘Now we can practise what you’re gonna say while we work Hoss.’

Ben chuckled to himself quietly as his two younger sons left the room together. ‘I hope he plucks up the courage this time,’ he commented as the front door closed behind them.

Adam looked up from his book. ‘You know Pa you really should do something about that kid,’ he said dryly. ‘He never concentrates on anything.’

‘I take it you’re referring to Joseph?’ asked his father as he picked up his pipe.

‘Yes,’ said Adam. ‘I don’t know why you let him get away with taking no responsibility for anything around here.’

Ben stroked his chin as he puffed on his pipe. ‘You’re probably right son,’ he said. ‘He certainly hasn’t proven himself to be very responsible up until now. How about I give him to you up at the mill for a while and see if he gets down to work up there?’

Adam shot his father a dark look. ‘Please no!’ he said. ‘It’s hard enough up there without him.  Can’t you think of something else for him to do?’

Ben sighed. ‘I’ll think about it,’ he said. ‘Maybe I’ll be able to give him a bit of responsibility on the cattle drive next month.’

There was a clatter of noise from behind him and he turned to see Hop Sing carrying a handful of brooms from the kitchen.  As if they had read each other’s mind, both Cartwrights slunk down in their chairs, but not before Hop Sing had spied them.

‘What you do in house now?’ he demanded. ‘Supper not ready for one hour!’

‘We’re just having some quiet time before we eat Hop Sing,’ said Ben tentatively. ‘We won’t get in your way.’

‘Better not!’ said the housekeeper grumpily. ‘Hop Sing much work to do!’  He walked upstairs, muttering to himself.

‘He’s like this every Spring,’ said Adam. ‘I hate Spring cleaning time.’

‘Don’t we all son,’ agreed his father. ‘Don’t we all?’

 

21st May 

‘You shoulda been there Adam!’ said Joe excitedly. ‘It was great, weren’t it Pa?’

Ben gave his youngest son an indulgent smile. ‘I suppose so son,’ he said. ‘It was just as exciting as any other cattle drive we’ve had in the past.’  He winked at Adam who returned the gesture.

‘I wish I could have been,’ said Adam. ‘But it was more important for me to stay here and see to the lumber shipment.’

‘I’m proud of you son,’ said his father. ‘You’ve done a great job with it all.’

Adam smiled at his father, but Ben noticed that the smile didn’t reach his son’s eyes. ‘Thanks Pa,’ Adam said simply. ‘It was a lot of hard work and I’m glad it’s over.’

‘Well I’m right glad to be back,’ said Hoss. ‘I’ve missed ya cooking Hop Sing.’  He helped himself to a generous serving of chicken with a grin. ‘Sides,’ he said proudly. ‘I reckon Margie probably missed me.  Can I have the day off and go into town ta see her tomorrow Pa?’

‘Certainly son,’ said his father. ‘You’ve earned it after all your hard work during the past couple of weeks son.’

‘Me too?’ squeaked Joe. ‘I worked hard too!’

‘You?’ said Adam. ‘Since when do you work hard?’

‘Actually Joseph surprised me,’ said his father. ‘He did quite well.’

‘Yeah,’ said Joe indignantly to his brother. ‘I did quite well.’  A puzzled look came over his face. ‘Why does that surprise you Pa?’ he added.

Ben cleared his throat. ‘Sometimes I worry about you Joe,’ he said. ‘You need to take responsibility for things around here and not leave others to pick up the pieces behind you son.’

Joe frowned. ‘I don’t,’ he protested.

‘Yes you do,’ his father replied. ‘Although I’m happy with your performance during the drive.’

His father’s comment blew away any guilty thoughts immediately and Joe’s usual sunny smile returned in an instant. ‘So can I have the day off then?’ he asked.

‘I think it would do us all good to have a day off,’ said his father. ‘How about it Adam?  Feel like a day in town?  Or maybe a spot of fishing?’

‘I won’t say no,’ said Adam in a flat voice. ‘I’ll go to town I think.’

Ben smiled at him. ‘We might all go in then,’ he said. ‘It might be a good idea to get out of the house for the day anyway.  Hop Sing is still busy cleaning.’

‘And cooking,’ added the cook as he proudly brought in another platter. ‘Lots of cooking now Mr Hoss back.’

‘What about the rest of us?’ asked Joe indignantly. ‘We like to eat too ya know.’

Hop Sing hit him on the side of the head. ‘Not like Mr Hoss,’ he said, beaming at the man as he tucked into more vegetables. ‘Mr Hoss special eater.’

‘Yeah,’ agreed Hoss. ‘No one round here appreciates Hop Sing’s cooking like me and he knows it. Don’t ya Hop Sing?’

Hop Sing’s grin became wider. ‘Is true,’ he agreed. ‘Mr Hoss special eater.  Him very good boy.’

‘Well you’d better eat lots to get your strength up fer tomorrow,’ said Joe cheekily. ‘I reckon you’re gonna need it after not seeing Margie fer so long.’

‘Joseph!’ said his father. ‘We’ll have no more of that sort of remark please young man.’

‘Do ya reckon you could pack me a picnic basket Hop Sing?’ asked Hoss. ‘I could take Margie on a picnic tomorrow.’

‘Will do for you Mr Hoss,’ Hop Sing assured him and left the room.

Adam raised an eyebrow. ‘You always have a gift of getting him do exactly what you want brother,’ he said.

Yeah,’ said Hoss proudly. ‘Hop Sing and me appreciate each other.  I reckon it’s just a gift,’ he added proudly.

 

21st June 

Ben stood in the doorway of the barn and watched his eldest son forking hay for a moment before entering the building and siting down on an upturned barrel. ‘I’d like to talk to you son,’ he said after a moment.

Adam continued to work. ‘Yes?’ he said.

‘Come here and sit down Adam.’

‘I’ve got to finish this Pa.  Can’t you talk while I work?’

‘Adam … sit down.’

Adam put his pitchfork down and sat down on a bale of hay at the entry to a stall. ‘What is it?’ he asked.

‘Don’t you think it’s about time you told me what’s wrong?’ asked Ben. ‘I really can’t help you until you do.’  Adam said nothing, but simply stared at the pitchfork in his hands. ‘Son this has been going on for months now,’ said Ben after a while. ‘I know you too well to think that you’re not hurting over something.  I’d like to help if I can.’

Adam shook his head, still staring at the pitchfork. ‘You can’t help,’ he said in a low voice. ‘No one can help.’

‘I’d like to try,’ persisted his father. ‘Please give me the chance.’

Adam bit his lip before replying. ‘I don’t want to hurt you Pa,’ he said in a low voice.

‘Son if it means helping you …. Well … I’ve been hurt before you know.’  Ben gave his son a look of utmost concern and love. ‘Please …’ Adam stood up and began to pace up and down the barn. ‘You’ve been withdrawn for months,’ continued his father. ‘And when you do talk to anyone in the family you’re like a bear with a sore head. And you don’t have that …. well …. sparkle in your eyes like you used to.  I have the feeling that you’re just going through the motions around here and your heart isn’t in it.’

Adam stopped pacing and faced his father. ‘You really do know me well, don’t you?’ he said.

Ben gave him a tender smile. ‘I should,’ he said. ‘I’ve known you long enough.’

Adam took a deep breath. ‘You’re right about one thing,’ he said. ‘My heart’s not in it anymore.’  Ben waited. ‘It’s just … what’s it all for Pa?’

‘What do you mean son?’

Adam sat down again and waved his arm around. ‘All of this,’ he said earnestly. ‘What’s it all for?  What are we all working so hard for?’

Ben looked confused. ‘I’m not sure I understand what you mean,’ he said. ‘The Ponderosa?  Its what we’ve worked so hard for all these years Adam.  It’s building a future for the three of you.’

Adam stared at his father for a moment. ‘A future?’ he said. ‘But what if …’ he hesitated. ‘What if this future isn’t right for one of us Pa?’  Father and son stared at each other for a full minute.

‘You’re saying that you don’t belong here?’ asked Ben with an ache in his heart.

Adam put his face in his hands. ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘I just don’t know any more.’

Ben reached over and put his hand on his son’s shoulder. ‘What is it?’ he asked gently.

‘I don’t really feel … well … fulfilled here anymore,’ said Adam through his fingers. ‘I feel as if there is a world out there that I’m missing out on I suppose.’  There was silence for a long time before he added. ‘I guess it started way back at College.’

‘I know.’

Adam looked up, startled. ‘You do?’ he asked.

Ben nodded. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I always knew that you were torn between coming back here or pursuing your life out there somewhere.  You said yourself that I know you well.’

Adam sat up and faced his father. ‘Pa I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘It’s not that I don’t appreciate you and Hoss and Joe and all.  It’s just …’  His voice trailed away and he sat looking at his father helplessly, unable for once to put into words what he felt.

Ben spoke through the ache in his heart, not wanting to hear the answer to his question. ‘So you want to leave?’

Adam shook his head. ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘Truthfully I don’t know what I want Pa.  Part of me wants to stay here, but …’

Ben patted his son on the back. ‘Promise me one thing son,’ he said. ‘You know that whatever you want I will support you … but don’t make any decision in a hurry.  Give it time is all I ask.’

Adam nodded. ‘Of course,’ he said. ‘I owe you that.’

‘You owe yourself that son,’ replied his father.

Adam stood up. ‘Well I’m getting back to work,’ he said. ‘These stalls won’t clean themselves out.’

Ben nodded and got up slowly, suddenly feeling every one of his years upon him.  He walked slowly out of the barn to see Hoss and Joe climbing out of the buckboard. ‘Hi Pa!’ called Joe cheerily.

Ben waved at them as he walked towards them noticing that Hoss didn’t return the gesture. ‘Get everything?’ he asked.

‘Sure did,’ said Joe with a grin. ‘No problems at all.  Hard work loading em all but.  I think I might go and get some rest before supper.’

Ben collared his youngest son before he could walk away. ‘You’ll do nothing of the kind,’ he said. ‘These supplies need to be unloaded and there’s wood to be chopped young man.’

‘I’ll do it,’ said Hoss in a flat voice and walked over to the woodpile without another word.

‘What’s the matter with your brother?’ asked Ben.

‘Margie Simmons,’ said Joe.

‘I thought they had quite an understanding together?’ asked Ben. ‘She’s all he ever talks about lately.  Has something gone wrong between them?’

Joe shrugged. ‘Don’t know,’ he said. ‘Don’t think that Hoss does either.  She didn’t seem too keen on talking to him in town today.  He’s been real quiet ever since.’

Ben gave his middle son a worried look. ‘Well I hope everything is all right,’ he said. ‘He’s right keen on that girl and it would break his heart if things fell apart between them.’

‘I tried talking to him bout it on the way home,’ said Joe. ‘But he didn’t wanna.’

‘You get those supplies unloaded son,’ said Ben. ‘I think we might leave your brother to work out his problems on that wood pile.’  He watched as Hoss attacked a piece of wood with great ferocity. ‘There’s a lot of therapy in hard work,’ he mused.

‘Lucky I don’t need any therapy then,’ said Joe cheekily. He picked up a sack of flour. ‘I’ll get this in to Hop Sing,’ he said and walked away whistling.

Within a minute, Ben heard yelling coming from the kitchen.  He shook his head and walked away. ‘What next?’ he murmured. ‘Isn’t there anyone in this family apart from Joseph who is happy lately?’

 

21st July

‘Phew!’ said Joe, wiping his brow on his sleeve.  ‘It sure is hot, ain’t it?’

‘Would you shut up about the weather?’ snarled Hoss. ‘How many times do ya have ta say how hot it is?  We all know!’

Joe made a face at his brother. ‘So-rry!’ he said. ‘I was just saying!’

‘Well don’t!’

‘Boys just get those things loaded on the buckboard and quit your snarling with each other,’ said Ben, wiping his own face with his bandanna. ‘Adam is waiting for the equipment you know.’

‘Mustn’t keep big brother waiting must we?’ said Joe cheekily. ‘Give him an excuse ta stop the haying out there.’

Ben shot his youngest son a frustrated look. ‘Joseph just do as you’re told please,’ he said. He looked over at Hoss who was busy loading equipment onto the buckboard. ‘Hoss could I speak to you for a moment over here please?’

Hoss dumped a box of wire onto the buckboard and wiped his hands on his trousers. ‘Yeah Pa?’ he said in a flat voice as he followed his father across the yard.

Ben turned to face his son. ‘Hoss you have to snap out of this,’ he said. ‘You’ve been burying yourself in your work ever since you and Margie broke up and it isn’t healthy son. Why don’t we talk about it?’

‘Ain’t nothing ta talk about Pa,’ said Hoss miserably. ‘She don’t wanna see me no more and that’s all there is to it.’

‘Son you’ve broken up with girls before this.’

‘Yeah,’ Hoss agreed. ‘But me and Margie …. Well we was … she was special Pa.’  He shook his head. ‘Ain’t no point talking about it I guess.’  He turned back to the buckboard again where Joe was leaning staring into space. ‘You heard Pa!’ he said crossly as he pushed his younger brother and sent him sprawling onto the ground. ‘Get ta work!’

Joe hopped up indignantly and faced Hoss. ‘Who do ya think you’re pushing?’ he demanded. ‘I ain’t done nothin!’

‘Exactly my point,’ snarled Hoss. ‘Get ta work!’  He stomped off into the barn angrily.

‘I’m sick of him and his snarling,’ said Joe as he dusted himself off. ‘Always grumpy lately just cause he and Margie broke up.  Well it ain’t my fault!’

Ben shook his head and dusted off Joe’s back. ‘Try and be patient with him son,’ he said. ‘He’s hurting.  Besides … he does have a point about you Joseph.  I did tell you to get to work you know.’

‘I was about to,’ said Joe, sounding hurt. ‘A fellar can’t work every minute of the day Pa.  It ain’t natural.’

Ben shook his head. ‘I thought after your performance on the round up last month that you might actually be starting to take a bit of responsibility around here young man,’ he said. ‘Perhaps I was wrong.’

‘What do ya mean?’ asked Joe indignantly. ‘I’ve been working hard at the haying like everyone else!’

Ben shook his head again. ‘No you haven’t,’ he said. ‘You’ve been working just as hard as you feel like Joseph.  You know as well as I do that if Adam and I didn’t keep an eye on you then you’d be doing very little.’  He gave his youngest son a stern look. ‘I think it’s about time you took things around here a bit more seriously Joseph. In fact I’ve just decided that you can take control of breaking in and selling that new batch of horses we rounded up last month.’

Joe’s eyes lit up. ‘Ya mean it Pa?’ he said excitedly. ‘That’d be great!’

Ben gave him another stern look. ‘It’s not all fun and games Joe,’ he said. ‘When I say you’re in charge that’s exactly what I mean.  You’ll have to organise everything from beginning to end.  That doesn’t just mean the fun part of breaking the horses.  If you take this on I expect to see you finish it.’

‘I will Pa,’ said Joe proudly. ‘I’ll see it through.’  He turned at the sound of a horse behind them and smiled at his eldest brother as Adam rode into the yard. ‘Hey Adam!’ he shouted. ‘Pa’s given me charge of the new batch of horses!’

Adam said nothing, but raised an eyebrow in his father’s direction. ‘Joseph is going to prove to us that he can do a job from beginning to end,’ Ben explained.

‘I see,’ said Adam. ‘Well I hope you don’t regret doing this Pa.’  He slid down from the saddle. ‘I came to see why this equipment hasn’t made it out to the pasture yet.  The men are waiting for it.’

‘I’m just loading it now,’ explained Joe hastily and picked up a box of wire. ‘Won’t take long.’

Adam gave his brother a short nod. ‘Good,’ he said. ‘Haying is hot and dusty enough without us having to be out there any longer than we have to waiting for equipment that should have been there hours ago.’

Ben put his arm around his eldest son’s shoulder. ‘Joe will get it there soon,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you come on inside and get a cool drink before you go back on out?’

‘I’m fine,’ said Adam, avoiding his father’s eyes. ‘I’d better get back to the men.’  Ben sighed as he watched his son mounting up again. It was like this all the time lately.  Since their talk a few weeks ago, Adam had resisted any mention of it again.  Yet Ben knew that his son was still in turmoil over the decision that he had to make and longed to reach out to him to help him.  However, they both knew that Adam and Adam alone had to be the one to work it through for himself.  Every night Ben prayed that he’d be able to.  Every night he prayed that he wouldn’t lose his boy.

Ben gave another sigh as he watched his eldest son ride away.  ‘No go without food for men!’ shouted Hop Sing from the kitchen door to Joe.

‘All right,’ said Joe. ‘Just one more thing to load up I reckon.’

‘Well you really don’t expect the men to go without their lunch do you?’ asked Ben. ‘Hop Sing is cooking from dawn until dusk while the haying is going on and the least you can do is deliver the meals for him Joe.’

‘I know,’ said Joe with a sigh. ‘I’ll get it.’  He headed off towards the kitchen.

 

21st August

‘Good ride,’ said Adam, slapping Joe on the back as his younger brother climbed up on the fence beside him.

‘Thanks,’ said Joe with a grin. ‘I think he’s nearly there.  A couple more rides like that and he’ll be as tame as a kitten.’  He looked appraisingly at the spirited chestnut. ‘We should get a good price for him I reckon.’

‘Have you worked out a price with Ted Adamson yet?’ asked Adam.

Joe frowned. ‘Nah,’ he said. ‘I reckon he’ll give us a good one though.’

Adam turned to his younger brother. ‘Have you even spoken to him about it yet?’

Joe shrugged. ‘Not yet,’ he said. ‘I will soon.’

‘Joe you know that Pa is counting on you to follow through with this deal don’t you?  You can’t just assume that Ted Adamson or anyone else is going to wait around until you decide that they need our horses.  He might get his stock from somewhere else you know.’

‘Nah!’ said Joe. ‘I reckon he’ll wait fer us.  Everyone knows that The Ponderosa stock is the best around.’

Adam shook his head in frustration. ‘Yes that’s true,’ he acknowledged. ‘But he isn’t a mind reader little brother. I think you should talk to him and let him know just how many horses we’re going to have available.’

‘I will,’ said Joe casually. ‘Did ya get the mail when you was in town this morning?’

‘I did …. And there’s nothing from Pa if that’s what you’re asking,’ replied Adam. ‘He’ll probably write in a few days when he’s finished his meetings with the mining syndicate and let us know when he’ll be back.’

‘Wish he’d hurry up,’ said Joe mournfully. ‘It ain’t the same around here with him gone in San Francisco.’

Adam put his hand on his brother’s shoulder. ‘I know,’ he said. ‘It sure makes you realise just how much he does when he is around.’  His eyes took on a faraway look. ‘Takes a lot of work to run this place. ’

Joe glanced at his brother thoughtfully. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ he asked. ‘You finding it rough being in charge all of a sudden?’

‘On the contrary little brother,’ replied Adam. ‘I always enjoy the challenge of being in charge around here.’  He hit the youngster on the side of the head playfully. ‘As long as I can keep the help in line that is … now get back to work!’

‘Whatever you say Boss,’ replied Joe with a cheeky grin.  He jumped down from the fence and was about to walk away when Adam spoke again.

‘Have you seen Hoss this morning Joe?’

‘Not since breakfast,’ replied Joe. ‘He said something about cleaning out the tack room.’

‘Thanks.’  Adam jumped down from the fence and headed off towards the barn where he found his middle brother in the tack room. ‘How come you’re doing this?’ he asked. ‘It isn’t on the list of chores for this week.’

Hoss shrugged. ‘Just thought I would,’ he said. ‘No particular reason.’

Adam sat down on an upturned barrel in the corner and watched his brother work for a couple of minutes before speaking. ‘Wouldn’t have anything to do with avoiding Joe and I would it?’ he asked at last.

‘What’s that supposed ta mean?’

‘Well you’ve been making sure that we don’t cross paths unless we have to at meal times,’ replied his Adam. ‘We have noticed it you know.’ Hoss shrugged and said nothing. ‘You’ve got to get over this brother,’ continued Adam. ‘She’s not the only girl in the world you know.’

‘I know that,’ said Hoss sadly. ‘But I reckon she was the only girl fer me.’

Adam placed his hands on his brother’s shoulder. ‘She’s not you know,’ he said. ‘One day soon someone else will come along to make you feel like that again and you’ll wonder why you spent all this time and energy worrying about breaking up with Margie.’

‘Ya reckon Adam?’

Adam nodded. ‘I do,’ he said. ‘There’s plenty of girls out there Hoss.  You’ve just got to look for them.’

At that moment Joe came hurtling through the doorway. ‘Hop Sing says he wants some baskets,’ he said. ‘Either of you know where they are?’

‘Up in the loft,’ said Adam. ‘What does he want them for?’

‘Vegetables,’ replied Joe over his shoulder as he walked out again. ‘He’s harvesting lots of em from his garden today.  Says he could do with some help too from one of you.  I told him I couldn’t because I’m needed with the horses.’

Adam shook his head and laughed as their younger brother left the barn. ‘Thinks he’s mighty important with that particular job,’ he said. ‘I sure hope that Pa isn’t going to regret giving it to him.’

‘I reckon he’ll do okay Adam,’ said Hoss. ‘Specially how you’ve been watching over him without him knowing.’

‘Is it that obvious?’ asked Adam.

‘Not to him it ain’t, but it is to me,’ said Hoss with a grin. ‘I reckon it’s just the way you are ain’t it?  Always watching out fer both of us big brother.’ Adam shrugged. ‘Don’t know what we’d do without ya really ya know.’

Adam gave Hoss a startled look. ‘What?’ he said.

‘It’s true,’ said Hoss. ‘We both rely on ya round here.  Pa too.  Well I reckon I’ll go and help Hop Sing with them vegetables.  If I’m gonna eat most of em I expect that I should help harvest em.  Thanks Adam.’

‘For what?’

‘Your advice,’ said Hoss with a grin. ‘I reckon ya might be right bout them other girls. I might take me a look around fer em.’  He began to walk out of the barn and then stopped. ‘Ya know what?  I reckon you’re as good as Pa at that advice stuff big brother.’

Adam continued to sit on the barrel for a long time, lost in thought.

21st September

‘Adam? Can I talk to you?’

Adam looked up from the book he was reading and saw Joe standing in his bedroom doorway. ‘Sure,’ he said, closing the book. ‘What is it?’

Joe came into the room and sat down on the bed facing his brother. ‘It’s about the horses,’ he began. ‘I’m a bit worried bout the finances of them.’

Adam lifted an eyebrow. ‘Why don’t you talk to Pa?’ he asked.

‘Cause I don’t want him to think that I can’t do it,’ said Joe earnestly. ‘He’s putting his trust in me and I don’t want to let him down.’

‘Tell me about it then.’

‘Well remember how you told me to make sure that I had a buyer ahead of time?’  Adam nodded. ‘Well I kinda didn’t get one,’ finished Joe lamely.

Adam sat forward in his chair. ‘What about Ted Adamson?’ he asked.

‘He bought from the Silver C,’ said Joe sadly. ‘He said that he didn’t hear from us so he decided to go ahead with them.’  He looked at his older brother miserably. ‘I spose you’re gonna say I told you so now?’ he said.

Adam shook his head. ‘No point,’ he said. ‘Well, you’ll just have to find another buyer, won’t you?’

‘But that’s the trouble,’ explained Joe. ‘I’ve tried and I can’t find anyone.  We’re gonna be stuck with all those horses and no buyer now.’

Adam thought for a moment. ‘Have you thought about the Livery Stable?’

Joe shook his head. ‘No.  What’s the use of that?’

‘Well they could probably do with a few horses.  If you go to Carson City, Virginia City and Reno, then you might just get rid of all of them a few at a time.’

Joe thought for a moment. ‘I spose it’s worth a try,’ he said. ‘I’ll give it a go.  Thanks Adam.’  He stood up to leave the room. ‘You’re pretty good with business, ain’t ya?  No wonder Pa relies on you so much.’

Adam gave his brother a startled look as the youngster left the room. Down the hallway he could hear Hoss shouting something at Joe as he passed his room and then the inevitable sound of both his brothers’ laughter as they giggled over something that had been said.  The sound warmed his heart, for it was the second time today he’d actually heard Hoss laughing.  Perhaps his brother was indeed coming out of his melancholy after all?

‘Adam?’  He looked up, startled to see his father standing in the doorway this time. ‘You looked a million miles away then,’ said Ben as he entered the room. ‘What were you thinking about?’

Adam shrugged. ‘Just something that Joe said,’ he replied.

‘Oh?  And what was that?’

‘About how you rely on me for business deals around here,’ said Adam. ‘I didn’t think that kid noticed anything beyond his own nose to tell you the truth.’

‘That kid as you insist on calling him knows more about what goes on around here than you could possibly imagine,’ replied his father with a short laugh. ‘And he’s right you know … I do rely on you … for business deals as well as a lot of other things.’  Adam said nothing. ‘Son I’ve been wanting to ask you …’ Ben’s voice trailed away.

‘About whether I’ve made up my mind or not about going?’ asked Adam when his father didn’t finish.

‘I’ve tried not to pressure you during these past few months,’ continued Ben. ‘But the truth is that I just can’t stop thinking about it.  I want you to know that whatever you decide …’

‘Pa you don’t have to worry,’ said Adam with a smile. ‘I’ve decided to stay.’

Ben gave his son a startled look. ‘Really?’ he said in delight. ‘I thought … I mean … I hoped … I just wasn’t sure son.’

Adam laid his hand over that of his father’s. ‘I know,’ he said. ‘I wasn’t sure myself until recently.’

‘What made you decide son?’

‘Well it was Hoss and Joe actually,’ replied Adam. ‘They both made me realise that I’m needed around here …. You know?’

‘Of course you’re needed.  I thought that you knew that?’

‘I think I did … it was just those two pushing that fact into my face that made it clear I suppose Pa. You see, I’ve been thinking that I didn’t have an important part to play in things around here, but I guess that I was wrong.  They both need me.’

Ben smiled at his son. ‘And I need you too,’ he said. ‘Very much.’

Adam returned the smile. ‘Well thank you for saying that,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry that I’ve been so hard to put up with this year Pa.  I just needed time to sort things out in my head I guess.’

‘That’s all right son,’ said Ben. ‘I understand.’  There was another yell from the other end of the hallway, followed by Joe’s unmistakable giggle. ‘I wonder what that is all about?’

Adam gave a short laugh. ‘Who would know with those two,’ he said. ‘Nice to hear Hoss laughing again though.’

‘That it is,’ Ben agreed.

 
 21st October

‘What is it?’ whispered Joe as he peeked under the lid of the bowl in the middle of the table.

‘I’m not sure,’ said Hoss. ‘But I think it might be stew.’

‘Don’t let Pa hear you talking like that,’ warned Adam. ‘He’s doing his best with the cooking while Hop Sing is visiting his cousin in San Francisco and he doesn’t need criticism from either of you.’

‘How come we don’t have one of Hop Sing’s cousins doing the cooking like we usually do?’ asked Joe.

‘No one was available,’ explained Adam as he helped himself to some stew. ‘Pa told Hop Sing that we’d manage without him.’

Joe made a face as Hoss handed him a plate to fill. ‘We might have starved to death by the time he comes back,’ he said mournfully.

Adam kicked Joe under the table as their father entered the room. ‘So how do you like the stew?’ he asked with a smile as he sat down and helped himself to some.

There was silence for a moment until Adam spoke. ‘Fine Pa,’ he said. ‘Very … tasty.’

Ben’s grin grew wider. ‘Good,’ he said. ‘I’m glad you like it boys.  I knew that we’d be able to cope by ourselves for a while.’

‘When will Hop Sing be back?’ asked Joe with a sad look at his father.

‘In a couple of weeks,’ said Ben. ‘Why?’

‘No reason,’ said Joe. ‘I was just asking.’

‘By the way Joseph,’ said his father. ‘I meant to tell you how proud I am of the way you finished off the deal with the horses.  What a wonderful idea to sell them to the livery stables.  I’m surprised you thought of it.’

Joe tried to look modest, but failed utterly. ‘Well … I kinda had a bit of help,’ he admitted. ‘Adam suggested it.’

Adam gave his brother a wink across the table. ‘True,’ he said. ‘But you did all the negotiating Joe. I think we can all be proud of this kid Pa.’

Joe puffed up even more. ‘It was nothing,’ he said. ‘I just did what you asked me to Pa.’

Ben put his hand over that of his youngest son’s as it rested on the table. ‘You certainly did,’ he said. ‘I think perhaps you’re growing up Joseph.’

‘At last,’ muttered Adam under his breath.

‘What was that?’ asked Ben, turning to him.

‘I said at last we got a good price for the horses,’ replied Adam quickly.

Ben nodded as he put a forkful of stew into his mouth.  A strange look came over his face and he swallowed quickly before picking up his glass to take a quick swallow of water.

‘You OK Pa?’ asked Adam.

‘Fine,’ said his father.

Adam smothered a chuckle and then stood up and flung down his napkin. ‘Well I’d better be off,’ he said. ‘I’ve got lots to do this afternoon.’

‘Like what?’ asked Joe. ‘You’re all the time drawing all them plans and you won’t even tell us what they’re for.’

‘I’ll tell you when I’m good and ready little brother,’ said Adam teasingly, hitting Joe on the head playfully as he passed him. ‘See you later.’

‘What’s he doing Pa?’ asked Joe as his brother left the room. ‘All them plans and he won’t even say.’

‘It’s like he said young man,’ replied is father. ‘He’ll tell us when he’s good and ready.’  Ben smiled to himself, happy at the thought of the light he’d been seeing in his eldest son’s eyes lately.  He also was itching to know what the drawings were all about, but the main thing was that Adam seemed to be happy again.  Perhaps he’d truly passed through the crisis and all the self-doubt?  Ben certainly hoped so. He glanced over at Hoss who was steadily eating his way through the stew. ‘Enjoying that?’ he asked.

‘Yes sir,’ said Hoss with enthusiasm. ‘It’s right good stew Pa.’

Ben shook his head slightly, knowing that whatever he’d put in front of this middle son of his would be eaten with great relish. ‘Glad you like it boy,’ he said.

‘Sure do,’ said Hoss, grinning at his father.

‘You seem very happy today,’ said Ben. ‘Any particular reason son?’

‘Probably Sally Winters,’ piped up Joe before Hoss could swallow his mouthful of stew and reply. ‘Hoss is gone on her.’

Hoss shot his brother a playful look. ‘Aw come on Joe,’ he said. ‘I ain’t gone on her.’

‘You are too,’ declared Joe. ‘I can read the signs brother.’

‘Well if your brother is gone on her as you so succinctly put it Joseph, it’s really none of your business is it?’ replied his father.

‘Well I was just saying,’ said Joe defensively. ‘Hoss has been making eyes at her for weeks now.’

‘I see,’ said Ben. ‘Well I wish you all the best with it son.’

‘Thanks Pa,’ said Hoss happily. He pointed his fork at Joe. ‘And you stay out of it,’ he said. ‘I don’t want you messing things up.’

Joe’s eyes widened and he gave his best puppy dog look as he answered defensively. ‘Who me?’ heck no Hoss …. I’d never do anything like that.’

‘The heck you wouldn’t,’ said Hoss. ‘I know what you’re like little brother and …’

‘Now that will do,’ said Ben firmly. ‘The two of you just finish up your meal … we’ve got work to do.’  He looked at his two sons fondly as they began to eat again.

 

 21st November

‘Pa? Do you have a few minutes to take a look at something?’

Ben put down his newspaper and took his pipe out of his mouth. ‘Certainly son,’ he said. ‘What is it?’

Adam sat down on the sofa and spread several large sheets of paper out on the coffee table. ‘This,’ he said excitedly. ‘I’ve got some plans to show you.’

Ben sat forward in his chair and studied them. ‘These are what you’ve been working on all these weeks?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ said Adam. ‘Plans for the new mill.’

‘What new mill?’

‘The one we need.  The one I think we should build,’ said Adam, shooting a cautious look at his father. ‘What do you think?’

Ben sat back in his chair. ‘I think it’s a wonderful idea,’ he said simply.

Adam stared at his father, nonplussed for a moment. ‘You do?’ he said at last.

‘Yes I do.’

‘But …. But you haven’t even looked at them.’

‘I don’t need to,’ replied Ben casually. ‘If you designed them then I have faith that they will be fine.’ He smiled at the expression on Adam’s face. ‘It’s like this son,’ he said. ‘If you say we need a new mill then I’ll go along with your judgement and as for the plans …. Well I sent you to college for three years ….it stands to reason that you’d know what you’re talking about with them.  You go ahead and build it.’

‘Just like that?’ asked Adam. ‘You’ve always wanted to know all the details of things like this before.’

‘Well maybe I’ve been wrong,’ said his father, trying to keep a straight face at the expression on Adam’s face. ‘I should have had more faith in you.’

Adam swallowed. ‘Well …. Thanks Pa,’ he said. ‘I guess I’ll get started on it then.’

‘You do that son,’ said Ben easily.

‘Get started on what?’ asked Joe as he came in from the kitchen munching on a sandwich.

‘The new mill we’re going to build,’ said Adam.

‘Oh yeah?’ asked Joe as he sat down next to his brother and peered closely at his plans, spraying crumbs all over them.

‘Do you mind?’ said Adam, rolling them up again quickly.

‘Mind what?’ asked Joe innocently. ‘If you want some help with that I’m available,’ he added.

‘Oh thank you!’ said Adam sarcastically. ‘I’ll look forward to seeking your advice on it then.’

‘Sure,’ said Joe happily, oblivious to his brother’s sarcasm. ‘Anything I can do to help. It’s important that we all support each other round here with the jobs as Pa is always saying.’  He stood up again and walked away, still munching on his sandwich.

‘I don’t think I can stand him much longer like this,’ said Adam in a low voice as he unrolled his plans again and straightened them out.

‘You were the one who thought he should develop more responsibility,’ warned Ben.

‘I know … but gee …. enough is enough don’t you think Pa?’ Adam said. ‘Ever since he did that deal with the horses last month he’s been unbearable.  Always carrying on like he’s ready to run everything around here by himself.’

‘He certainly has developed a lot more confidence with his work,’ agreed his father. ‘He’s growing up Adam.  Trying to be a man.’

Adam shook his head and gave a short laugh. ‘I suppose so,’ he said. ‘Well one thing’s for sure … I won’t be asking for his advice with the new mill.  I think I’ll be able to get it built without consulting my little brother.’

‘He’s just trying to help,’ said Ben, joining in on the laughter. ‘By the way, do you know where Hoss is?’

‘Upstairs,’ said Adam. ‘He’s getting dressed to go out.’

‘Sally again?’

‘Uh huh.’

‘Seems Joe was right,’ mused Ben.

‘What about?’

‘He told me a few weeks ago that Hoss was …. How did he put it …. Gone on Sally Winters.’

‘That sounds like Joe.  Yes … well I suppose that’s pretty accurate.  He’s certainly keen on her.’

‘I’m glad to hear it,’ said Ben, puffing on his pipe again. ‘At least he’s over that last girl.’ He jumped as Hop Sing banged two baking trays together behind him. ‘What on earth ….’ He muttered. ‘Hop Sing what is the matter?’

‘You tell number three son not come in kitchen and sneak sandwiches!’ shouted the cook. ‘Hop Sing too busy making Thanksgiving food to have foolishment in kitchen!’

‘But you’ve got a week until Thanksgiving,’ said Adam and then sat back in his chair as Hop Sing rounded on him.

‘One week!  Much to do!  No one know how much to do!’  He bashed the two trays together again and walked away muttering to himself in Chinese.

‘Sorry,’ said Adam apologetically. ‘I should have thought not to say anything.

‘Mmm,’ said his father, rubbing his ears gently. ‘You know how he gets before Thanksgiving.’

Adam rolled his eyes. ‘Don’t I just,’ he said. ‘Well I’d better get going.  I’ve got lots to do.’  He looked at the plans in his hands happily. ‘See you later Pa.’

‘Bye son,’ replied Ben as he sat back and puffed on his pipe.

 

21st December

Joe came bounding through the front door and banged it so hard that it seemed like the whole house shuddered. ‘Joseph!’ thundered Ben. ‘How many times have I told you to close that door quietly?’

‘Sorry Pa,’ said Joe automatically. ‘Gee, it’s cold out there.’ He flung off his coat and hat and removed his black gloves with his teeth. He looked furtively around the room for a moment.

‘Have you finished in the barn?’ asked his father.

‘Yeah,’ said Joe. ‘Well .. sorta.’

‘Yes or no?’ asked Ben testily. ‘Either you’ve done your chores or you haven’t young man.  Which is it?’

‘I did most of em,’ said Joe, somewhat evasively. ‘Only Hoss volunteered to do the rest.  He likes cleaning out the stalls. He’s always liked working with animals you know Pa.’

‘Joseph!’ said Ben. ‘How many times have I told you that you are to do your own chores?’

Joe’s eyes widened as he stared past his father and looked up and down the bookcase behind him. ‘Um … lots I guess,’ he said. He bent down and opened the door of the credenza and then shut it again with a sigh.

‘Joseph, go back outside and get to your chores,’ said Ben with a sigh. ‘And stop ferreting around in that cupboard.’

‘OK Pa,’ said Joe, putting his coat back on. He slammed the door behind him as he left the room and Ben muttered to himself.

‘Checking for Christmas presents again?’ asked Adam from in front of the fireplace. ‘When will he learn that we never hide them down here?

‘There’s still a lot of boy in him,’ said Ben, standing up from his desk and stretching. ‘He’s excited about Christmas.’

‘I thought you said he was trying to be a man now?’ asked Adam sarcastically.

‘He’s both I suppose,’ said Ben. ‘Caught in between a man and a boy… it’s a difficult place to be.  He certainly has grown up a lot this past year though.’

‘I suppose so,’ Adam acknowledged. ‘Still annoying though.’  He grinned at his father who returned the look. ‘I was wondering if you’re going into town tomorrow Pa,’ he said after a moment.

‘I was going to … why?’

‘I wondered if you could send a wire for me?  I need to make sure that everything is on track in Sacramento for that equipment and I really can’t spare a day away from the mill to do it.’

‘Of course I will,’ replied Ben. ‘Just write it out for me and I’ll send it. I must say that mill of yours is certainly keeping you busy lately.’

Adam’s grin became wider. ‘I’m just trying to push the work along before the heavy snows come,’ he said. ‘I’d like to get the roof on at least before then.’ He bent his head over his work and began to write again.

Ben watched his eldest son working and smiled, feeling warm inside. It was amazing to see the transformation in Adam just in this past month.  When he thought back to last winter and the way Adam had been moping around the house, he really found it hard to believe that this was the same young man.  His son had come through a crisis this past year and had come out the other side of it much better for it.

Ben winced as the sound of shouting came from the kitchen.  Suddenly Hoss appeared in the dining room, followed closely by Joe. ‘What are you two doing in there?’ asked Ben sternly. ‘Not bothering Hop Sing I hope?’

‘I just wanted ta see if I could help him with the Christmas cooking,’ said Hoss.

‘I thought I told you to finish your chores?’ asked Ben, pointing a finger at Joe.

‘Gee Pa … tweren’t my fault if Hoss finished em by the time I got back out there,’ said Joe defensively. He looked across at Ben’s desk furtively and Ben hid a smile at the obvious thought that was in his son’s mind as he hunted for Christmas presents. There were days when Joseph still seemed so young to him … and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

‘It’s snowing outside,’ said Hoss as he sat down and spread his hands towards the roaring fire. ‘Wouldn’t be surprised if we had a real bad storm tonight.’

There was silence in the room as Joe and Ben settled themselves in front of the fireplace as well. ‘Joseph take your feet off the table,’ said Ben automatically as Joe placed his boots up on the coffee table.

‘Sorry Pa,’ said Joe, just as automatically as he took them down. ‘You taking Sally to church at Christmas Hoss?’ he asked.

‘Sure am,’ said Hoss proudly. ‘Wouldn’t take no one else.’

‘Well that’s real fine son,’ said Ben.  It did his heart good to hear Hoss speaking like this.  One thing about that middle son of his …. He might find it difficult to get to know a girl, but once he did he gave his heart completely.  That was why it had always been so hard for him to get over any of the loves he’d had in the past.  Yet it seemed that this year he’d managed to do just that and still come out of it on top. Yes sir, it had certainly been a difficult year for Hoss … but a good one at that.

Ben sat back and lit his pipe contentedly. He looked over at Adam who was busy working, Hoss who was warming his hands in front of the fire and Joe who was sitting on the edge of the sofa grinning back at him. ‘Boys, do you realise it’ll be New Year in just over a week?’ he said. ‘1866 … I wonder what the new year will bring?’

‘Probably lots … just like this year has,’ said Adam, looking up from his work.

‘Yeah,’ said Joe. ‘Every year seems to, don’t it Pa?’

Ben smiled at his youngest son. ‘Take your feet off the table Joseph,’ he said as he lit his pipe.

 

The End