Summary: This is a set of five stories that are not related except in showing that men are still boys in many ways whether it is what they do, say, aspire to be, or the mistakes they can make. A short summary precedes each story.
Rating: T  Word count: 6,995

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Joe and Hoss try to help when a man threatens to kill Adam. It sounds serious but isn’t and makes for a good campfire story years later when Hoss needs some cheering up.

Beer and Gambling

As was often the case, Ben Cartwright was caught between wanting to laugh and to cry. Yes, Hoss had recovered from nearly being killed in an effort to save a family whose wagon had been caught in a flood. Months of recuperation through a long winter had finally brought him back to health. In spring, despite Ben’s worry though, Hoss insisted he was well enough to go with Joe and Jamie to deliver some horses to Utah. Adam was still gone and now all those Ben loved the most were going to be gone too. To be safe, Ben decided Candy and the new hand, Griff, should go along with his sons. It was far more help than was needed to take twenty horses to their buyer, but Joe saw only possibilities.

“Hoss, this could be fun. There are a lot of towns along the way, and with five of us, we can leave two or three with the horses at night and spend some time having fun. You can have beer.”

That was a four-letter word Hoss liked hearing. There hadn’t been much beer in his diet for six months. He was ready to make up for that deficiency.

“All right, I’ll put up with Pa’s molly-coddling this way, but only if every trip to a town includes me.”

“You got it, big brother. I don’t see a problem with that all.”

Everything went well until the end of the first day on the trail and they weren’t near a town by the time they needed to make camp. Although they weren’t going to be near a town every night, Hoss had been so looking forward to a beer or two or more, he was feeling down. Joe and Jamie knew they needed to do something to try to bring him out of his melancholy state.

“We don’t have any beer with us so that’s not an option.”

“I know we could all sing, but the laughter from that would only last a little while. Besides singing always makes him think of Adam, and that would make him even more sad.”

“That’s it!”

“What? You want to make him even sadder than he is?”

“No, of course not, but we could tell some Adam stories that are funny to entertain you and Griff and Candy. None of you know him so we could say it’s a way of them getting to know our older brother.”

“I thought you said he was grumpy and bossy all the time?”

“Oh, that’s only when I’m complaining about him because I’m grumpy. There are some funny stories too.”

“Oh, yeah, you told me about how you and Hoss almost got him married to that schoolteacher.”

“That was an accident and as much his fault as ours.”

“Yeah, maybe, but that was funny.”

“There’s another good story Hoss can help me tell. It’s about when this guy was going to kill Adam.”

“And that was funny?”

“Yeah, well maybe kinda funny, but you have to hear it to understand it. It’s kinda in how things were said. All right, maybe it’s more of an interesting story than a funny one, but I bet it gets Hoss out of his mood. C’mon, let’s go. You ask Hoss to tell a funny story like the one you mentioned, and then I’ll make the suggestion.”

So it was later sitting around the campfire that Hoss and Joe began to recount the tale of the man in town who wanted to kill Adam. Joe was the one who had brought the story home that time.

“Adam, what kind of trouble have you had with Ervin Jamison?”

“Trouble? No trouble. I hardly know him. He isn’t the kind of man I usually spend any time with. You might say we have little in common.”

“Well, something is bothering him. He said he is waiting for you to come to town so he can kill you. Apparently it has something to do with the woman he wants to marry.”

“I have been in the company of a few women in the last several months but unlikely any would be considering marrying him. His complaint seems groundless.”

“It doesn’t bother you?”

“Well, I suppose if someone is out there planning to kill me, I could work up a reasonable dislike for him.”

“What are you going to do about it? He may be a blowhard who spends more time in jail than at work, but everyone says he’s pretty darn good with that gun of his.”

“I’ll go into town like I was planning to do on Saturday. I’ll see what happens. There’s a line in William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar:A coward dies a thousand deaths, a hero dies but one.”

“A thousand to one seem like pretty good odds to me. I say a man does what he has to do when he can’t get out of it. You don’t have to do anything. You can stay home and let this all blow over. I’ve got a saying too. I’d rather have a living brother than a dead hero.”

“I’m not going to let him disrupt my life. I have things to do, work to get done.”

“It’s true that work never hurt anyone – who didn’t do it.”

“So you think I should stay inside where it’s safe, drink coffee and eat cookies while reading a book and relaxing in my chair by the fireplace? Actually that sounds rather nice.”

“I thought you were the smart one, but you’re not going to do it, are you?”

“Nope. Going to town on Saturday.”

Hoss walked near for the last part.

“Hey, I’m all for that last part. I’ll be going with you.”

“I’m going too, Hoss. He’s likely going to need us to watch his back.”

“What?”

“Joe heard in town that Ervin Jamison wants to kill me.”

“Aw, Joe, I wouldn’t worry too much about Ervin. If eyesight took brains, he wouldn’t be able to see past the brim of his hat.”

Ben was walking past the three brothers at that time and heard that line.

“If you haven’t got something nice to say about a man, it’s time to change the subject.”

None of them said anything more until their father was in the house. His hearing was too good. Then Joe started in on Adam again.

“You’re gambling with your life. I don’t like it when you do things like that.”

“I don’t gamble.”

Hoss nearly fell off the stool he had been sitting on.

“What do you call the poker that you play?”

“Skill and calculating the odds. You may have noticed that I don’t play faro or dice games or roulette.”

“Yeah, since you play poker, I wondered about that.

“When I was six years old, Pa was working in a saloon for a short time to make some money. I didn’t usually get to go in there or actually, I wasn’t allowed in there.

“I wouldn’t have stopped me.”

“We’re well aware of that, Joe, but I followed rules when I was that young. Anyway, one night, the lady at the boardinghouse was sick. I had to go along with Pa. I was supposed to stay in the storeroom where Hoss was sleeping, but I peeked out. The bartender saw me and told me what the men were doing. They were playing high-low, birdcage, and faro. He told me that was gambling and to stay away from it because it was based on guessing and luck. He said I seemed to be a smart one, and smart ones play poker.”

“He thought you were smart?”

“Joe, really, that’s the part you got out of that story?”

“Yeah, I got it. Those other games are based on luck. You want to control more of what you’re doing.”

“Yes, only a fool plays poker by luck. Luck is only important when you sit down with men who play as well as you do. When I find that out, I’m ready to quit. It’s too much like gambling. I want to know my odds, I want to know that my skills are good enough to win, and that I can afford to lose what I brought to the table. That way I can stay calm and play the game.”

“I’ve seen you draw to an inside straight, and I’ve seen you bluff on almost nothing.”

“Yes, it takes guts too. A faint heart never filled a flush.”

“I’m kind of lost here, Adam. What does this have to do with Ervin?”

“Hoss, what Joe and I were discussing are the things I’ll need in order not to get shot by that idiot.”

As it turned out, Adam didn’t need his brothers to watch his back. Ervin met him in the street almost as soon as he dismounted and tied off his horse to a hitching rail.

“Cartwright, I’m gonna kill ya.”

“I heard that, Ervin. I got a question for you though first.”

“What?”

“Why do you want to kill me?”

“For kissing the gal I’m fixing to marry.”

“I have kissed a few women lately, but I hesitate to say their names here. Could you tell me the name of the lady I kissed that you plan to marry. It only seems fair that I should know.”

“Well, I guess so. Mary Jane Hollister.”

“Ah, Ervin, I don’t want to make you any angrier, but I don’t know her, and I haven’t kissed her.”

“You’re lying. She told me she would rather be kissing you than me.”

“But did she say she actually kissed me?”

“Well no, but she must have for her to say something like that to me.”

“Could she maybe have been trying to make you jealous?”

“I guess maybe she might have been. But that don’t mean you didn’t kiss her.”

“And she knew you would get mad?”

“Well, course I’d be mad. Any man would be mad if another man kissed his gal.”

“And she picked a man she knew was fast with a gun?”

“Yeah, and I’m fast with a gun too.”

Joe snickered to Hoss.

“Not exactly able to draw a line between the dots, is he?”

“Nope, Joe, somebody is going to have to tell him outright.”

“If Adam tells him, he’s just going to be mad all over again.”

“Yup.”

“Oh, all right. Hey, Ervin, do you think maybe she was trying to get you killed?”

Ervin turned toward Joe first with a confused look and then slowly an angry look took over. Soon there were snickers in the crowd, and the young man became even more upset. Before it could go too far, Adam intervened.

“Marriage is the only gambling I know where both players can lose. So you have to be v careful which one you draw from the deck.”

“You talk funny, but I think I’m beginning to get the idea of what you all are trying to tell me. Maybe she stinks.”

Hoss and Joe walked over to where the two stood now fairly close to each other. Hoss spoke to Ervin after putting an arm on his shoulders.

“You wanted to get married real bad, didn’t you? You got the itch before you got bit?”

“Yeah, I guess. You talk funny too.”

Then Adam made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

“Let’s go get some beers. I’ll buy the first round.”

“Ah, first I have to empty a chamber. I filled all six to shoot you.”

Before Adam could suggest he simply pull a bullet out, Ervin fired one in the air. A farmer driving a wagon near them was startled as was the horse pulling his wagon. A can of milk in the back sloshed quite a bit of milk out before the wagon came to a stop. Ervin yelled that he was sorry. Hoss and Joe grinned as Adam sighed.

“It’s all right, Ervin. Remember the wise words of Hoss. Never cry over spilled milk. It could have been beer.”

All four men laughed.

Around the campfire at the end of that story, all five men laughed. That line was repeated numerous times on the trail over the next two weeks whenever something didn’t go quite right. Every time Hoss seemed a little down, it was a way to break the mood and get a laugh going. Of course, there were those trips to town for beer which helped too, but no tried any games of chance. They had all had time to think about that hidden lesson in the story. Ben was happy when they came home with all the money and in a good mood. It wasn’t something that Hoss and Joe always managed. When Jamie said Adam helped, they had to tell Ben the whole story. He had never heard the saloon story so it was almost as much fun as the first time the tale was told around the campfire.

That first night at home, after Hoss and Jamie had headed up to bed, Ben asked Joe to talk for a bit. He poured two brandies letting Joe know it was going to be a positive talk.

“Thank you for what you did for your brothers. And in the process, thank you for what you did for me.”

*********

 

In this prequel story, Hop Sing uses some of Ben Cartwright’s words to counsel Ben’s sons when they are in turmoil.

Fools and A Wise Man

Watching young Adam Cartwright stalking to the house, Hop Sing knew he was angry because the boy had a way of walking when he had lost his temper that was communicated quite well by the way those long legs stomped stiff-legged toward the house. He thought perhaps it would be best if he intercepted the young man before he talked to his father because those two could be like two bulls when they tangled. The young one had learned well from the older one and didn’t easily give ground. He walked outside as if on an errand and of course accidentally was in the young man’s path.

“Ah, Mister Adam, maybe help Hop Sing. Hop Sing need kindling and wood for stove. Can tell rain coming. No like wet wood. Smell bad. Smoke much.”

“Sure, Hop Sing. I can do that for you.”

Always agreeable to help, Adam headed to the woodpile and began chopping some kindling. Hop Sing waited only a minute to be sure he would be busy for a time burning off some of that anger, and he returned to his kitchen. When Adam came in with a basket of kindling, Hop Sing had already hidden the contents of the full basket he already had and had shoved some of the firewood in his room under his bed as well. Adam dutifully went outside and carried in two loads of firewood stacking the box as high as it could safely be filled.

“There, Hop Sing. That should hold you for the next couple of days. I’ll put one more stack on the porch out of the rain too just in case.”

“Good. Then come to kitchen. Hop Sing give you fresh biscuits. Make today. Very good.” Hop Sing knew how much Adam loved biscuits and doubted that he could resist. He couldn’t and was soon sitting at the kitchen table with two fresh biscuits with preserves happily eating them and savoring every bite.

“You back early today. Work good?”

Hop Sing saw the dark look again and waited for the angry explanation to spill out. It did.

“The men say I don’t know what I’m doing. They tell me I’m too young to give orders. So when I said not to move the cattle across that lower pasture because it was too wet, they did it anyway. Now they’ve got calves and cows stuck in the mud and will have to spend the rest of the day getting them out. I’m the one that will have to tell Pa that we couldn’t get the job done today and will have to move the cattle tomorrow.”

“I hear man say wise thing once. I remember. Father say it. Fools think they’re so dang smart, but a wise man is smart enough to know he’s still got a lot to learn. Those men foolish. Age not test of good ideas. Maybe next time know better.”

“I hope so. I like that saying too. Maybe I can remind Pa of that.”

Adam left then to go talk to his father but walked without the anger that had made him so stiff when he had arrived home.

Glad to have been of service, Hop Sing got busy making more biscuits so that he would have enough for dinner. It was difficult work being the cook on the Ponderosa, doing the laundry, and having to manage the personal relationships in the family as well. He didn’t mind though. It was rewarding but gratifying too to have a white man be his friend and trust him to help raise his sons although the oldest only needed little guidance like this now and then. The younger two though still needed more from him, and he was willing to give it. Only a few days earlier he had given the same advice to the middle son but for an entirely different set of circumstances. Hoss had come home from the church picnic in a sour mood. In the kitchen helping later to pack things away, he had been muttering about various boys until Hop Sing sat him down and asked what had happened to make him so unhappy.

“Hop Sing, all these boys is always calling me stupid. They say I’m so big I oughta know more than I do. They day my head is big and empty.”

“Size of head not measure of how smart the man. Did you hit boys or fight them?”

“Nah, I could hurt them real bad ifn I did that. I know better. Besides, Adam told me that them that bullies like they do says things just to rile me and that I can show ’em I’m better than them by not doing nothing when they do that. But they did rile me. I couldn’t help it. It does hurt to have them say things like that all the time even if it’s just to rile me.”

“What you do?”

“I just told them that I saved them a heap of trouble because ifn I was to hit them, they’d be in trouble for fighting and they’d be hurting too from me hitting them.”

“What they do?”

“Well, they laughed some, but then they left me alone. I wish I knew more on what to do when that kind a thing happens. I suppose maybe I ought to talk to Pa or Adam about it some more, huh? Maybe next time I’ll have something more to say and maybe I won’t get so riled.”

“You wise. Those boys foolish. Fools think they’re so dang smart, but a wise man is smart enough to know he’s still got a lot to learn. Your father say that.”

“Thanks, Hop Sing. You’re the smartest man I know, except of course Pa and Adam who are the other smartest men I know. Oh, and Sheriff Coffee because he’s pretty smart too. Heck, I guess when you’re eleven, they’re a lot of smart men out there.”

“Yes, no matter how smart, how wise, always someone more smart, more wise. We learn from them, and then we teach others.”

“Like you teach me. Oh, oh, that means I gotta teach Little Joe. Hop Sing, that ain’t gonna be easy.”

Ten Years Later:

“Hop Sing, you’ve told me that at least a thousand times. I get it, but I know what I’m doing.”

Sixteen-year-old Little Joe Cartwright got on his horse and raced off into the foggy afternoon riding too fast for the muddy roads. Not surprisingly, a few hours later, he was in his bed having his various injuries tended by Hop Sing.

“All right, you were right that I shouldn’t have gone riding in the fog with the roads so muddy. I should have waited until tomorrow. When Pa and Adam and Hoss get back from the cattle drive, I know I’m going to get a bunch of real good lectures from all of them so you may as well go ahead and give me yours now.”

“Only say what you need remember. Fools think they’re so dang smart, but a wise man is smart enough to know he’s still got a lot to learn. Your father say that many years ago.”

“You saying I’m a fool?”

“I not say it.”

“All right, I’ll say it. I was a fool. But if Pa said it years ago, who did he say it to first? Adam? Hoss?”

“He tell himself. He fell in love with a woman who was already married. I heard him, and I repeated that wisdom to Adam and then to Hoss and now you.”

***********

 

This is a prequel story in which Little Joe is anxious to be treated as a man but finds it isn’t as great as he thought it would be.

How Many Roads?

Hoss Cartwright caught his older brother’s eye and almost snickered, but Adam’s look told him he shouldn’t. He found it difficult though especially after his little brother had asked their father how many roads a man must walk down before he was considered a man.

“Joseph, we are not talking about you being a man. We are talking about you following rules as my son.”

“But, Pa, that’s the problem, don’t you see? I can’t follow all those rules and be a man. I need to make my own decisions. Like I did last night. I still got to church this morning. The only thing was that I didn’t get home last night as early as you wanted. Otherwise I followed the rules.”

“Do you even remember anything that was said in church today considering the condition you were in?”

Ben was quite perturbed not only about the inattentiveness of his youngest son in church services that day but the reason for it. He had only arrived home a few hours before they left for church. Although Little Joe tried to claim illness, Ben saw it for what it was.

“A headache and sour stomach from a wild night in town do not qualify as an illness. Now get cleaned up and in some proper clothing for church.”

Now he had asked his son about the sermon which he had found inspiring only to find that his youngest apparently had no clear idea what the minister had spent all that time lecturing on to his congregation.

“I do. The minister was talking about men and women and rules about that. He said we should follow the commandments and never admit adultery. He said we should only ever be with one wife at a time because monotony was what God wanted.”

Hoss had to grab a napkin as coffee came out his nose and Adam dropped his fork and needed his napkin to clean food residue from his shirtfront. Ben exploded in anger.

“He said never to commit adultery and monogamy was what marriage should be.”

“Well, I was close. It shows I was listening. Well, I was listening as well as I usually do.”

Hoss was thinking ‘Oh, Lordy’ but didn’t say it. Little Joe’s statement did make Adam and Hoss cringe and try to think of a way to excuse themselves from lunch except Hop Sing hadn’t served anything yet, and you can’t excuse yourself from a clean empty plate. Both knew they were in for the duration. Even Little Joe realized he had gone too far and wished he could shrink as he saw his father’s color rise even further and his lips jut out in preparation for a mighty bellow. But nothing happened.

Surprising all his sons, Ben Cartwright took some deep breaths, turned to Hop Sing who was waiting anxiously at the kitchen door, and signaled for lunch. The meal was nearly silent with glances being thrown by the sons who wondered and waited. At the conclusion of the meal, the sons were hoping to escape, but that’s when their father asked them to wait a moment. He gave Adam his instructions for the trip to Sacramento and Hoss his instructions for herd counts and fence mending. Then he turned to Little Joe.

“So, I’ve been hearing your complaint that you are a man and I don’t treat you like a man. This has been your mantra for at least the past year or two. Is that about right?”

Hoss and Adam waited wondering what would happen next.

“Well, yeah, that’s about right. I can do anything Adam can do, but he gets to do all sorts of fun things that I don’t get to do. He gets to take a lot of trips. He does things without asking permission a lot of the time. He only tells you and then he does it.”

“So, sticking to the main point: you’re saying you would like me to treat you as I treat Adam?”

“Well, yeah, that would be fine and dandy with me. I’d like to be treated like a man now and not a boy.”

Little Joe was feeling pretty good about how things were going except that little smile that his father was trying to hold back did make him a little bit nervous.

“If you’re sure about this, I’m ready to do so, but once you make that move, there is no going back. You can’t expect to be treated like a boy again with all the benefits of that.”

“Benefits? There aren’t any benefits. Benefits come with being treated like a man.”

“Very well, I will do so. You will pack your things for two weeks.”

“Am I going with Adam to learn about negotiating some more? Because I really like Sacramento, and I promise I’ll do better this time.”

“No, you are going to the timber camps to mark trees for two weeks.”

“By myself? But I’ve never done that by myself.”

“I will have Adam give you a map and instructions before he leaves.”

“But, Pa, if Adam isn’t there, then you know what they’ll do to me.”

“A man ought to be able to handle that, don’t you think? Now when you get back, you’ll pack up a wagon and head up to the northwest line cabin. The men said that the roof was leaking and in danger of collapsing on one end. Adam usually handles those jobs, but you said you can do anything he can do. You patch that up and do any other necessary repairs. That shouldn’t take more than a week.”

“A week! But I’ll miss the church social!”

Seeing his father’s eyebrows move up, he quickly relented.

“How many men can I take with me for that?”

“Well, if you can’t do it alone, you can take Mac.”

“But he’s old. None of this will be any fun.”

“No one said it would be fun. You said you wanted me to treat you the same way I treat Adam. So I did that. Those are the roads a man walks, Joseph.”

Without a comment on what had happened, both Adam and Hoss excused themselves and went outside. Adam had packed his bags and only had to go inside to get some maps ready for Little Joe. He decided to write the instructions instead of trying to talk with his youngest brother after what had happened. After he left, Joe finally walked outside to talk to Hoss.

“I suppose he was laughing at me.”

Shaking his head, Hoss was upset a bit.

“Boy, you got about as much brains as a turtle has feathers.”

Hoss knew Joe didn’t understand.

“Adam gave me a bit of advice once when we had a big disagreement, and I was thinking it was all his fault. He said to write it all down but only the facts. Then he said to come back later and read it. Changed my whole way of thinking about it.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think anything will change my thinking about him.”

“Here are the notes he left for you and a package he asked if you would deliver to the camp foreman and one for the manager.”

“So now I have to run his errands for him too.”

“Just do it.”

The next night in the timber camp, the men were startled by the “Damn, damn, damn!” that came from the office. Inside, Joe had gotten around to reading his notes. He was bruised and battered from a rough day of work when nothing had gone right it seemed and no one was in a mood to assist him either. If he had read Adam’s notes, it might have been quite a bit better. He hoped the next day would be an improvement, but he would have to swallow some pride and go ask the foreman and manager for help as Adam had suggested.

In the mess tent, the manager and the foreman smiled and by silent agreement went to their cabin to enjoy some of the whisky Adam had sent as a peace offering or a bribe. It didn’t matter what it was. They knew what he wanted. The next day, they would do their best to help out his kid brother now that Joe had paid his dues.

**********

 

Adam learns to beware of lemonade in this strange tale when his impulses get him in trouble.

What Happened?

It was a bright sunny day as Sheriff Del Burke walked into the back of the jail and saw his prisoner finally beginning to stir. It was dark back there so Del opened the back door of the jail to let in some light. Then he unlocked the cell and sat on the stool just inside the door as the man in the bunk turned to him and swung his legs over the side of the bunk. It was about then that he noticed he was naked and grabbed the blanket again to cover himself.

“Well, now, good to see you waking up. This would be a good time for you to tell me what happened last night. Right now, I have you on charges of drunk and disorderly, and lewd and lascivious behavior, and we ain’t found one stitch of your clothes yet neither.”

“Sheriff, I have no idea what happened. I went with the Widow Jenkins because she said she needed some work done and had asked if I could help. I met her at the restaurant yesterday when the stage got in, and we talked for quite a while. She and I seemed to like a lot of the same books. We had a good talk. Then she said she needed some work done so I went with her to help her out because my next stage connection wasn’t until this morning. I don’t even know what the name of this town is. I was supposed to sleep in a bunk at the depot. I had nothing but time so I patched up the roof for her, fixed the corral gate, and mucked out the stable. It was very hot by then, and she offered some lemonade. I sat on her porch and we talked. I must have downed at least two glasses of lemonade, and that’s the last thing I remember.”

“Now, you know how far fetched that sounds?”

“I know, I know. We were talking about books, but then she said how she regretted not having any children before her husband passed away, and next she asked me if I was ever going to marry and have children. I think I told her I would like to do that, but hadn’t found the right woman yet. That part is very clear, but it all starts to get very hazy after that. I think I had a dream about getting married and having my wedding night.”

“Well, mebbe I oughta go talk to her and find out why you shucked all your clothes and was staggering down the street buck naked last night. The judge will be in his chambers in a coupla hours. It would be good to have a few answers by then.”

Leaving a tray of food and coffee in the cell, Del locked it again and promised to be back soon. He pointed out the covered bucket in case the man needed it. It was warm already but he walked to Widow Jenkins place on the edge of town. When he got there, she was already hard at work. She had a kettle over an open flame and was stirring the contents when he walked up.

“Good morning, ma’am.”

“Good morning, Sheriff. I bet I know what brought you here.”

“Well, ma’am, over to the jail, I got …”

“Oh, he was so wonderful yesterday. Then this morning I woke up and he was gone, but his clothes are still here. I’ll just go get them from the bedroom. Won’t take but a minute.”

Soon, the Widow Jenkins was handing the stack of clothing, boots, a gunbelt, and a hat to Del.

“Thank you, ma’am. Ah, could I ask if that man harmed you any?”

“Oh, no, Sheriff, he didn’t harm me at all. He made me feel wonderful, about three times if I remember correctly. It was like a dream.”

Embarrassed by her candor, Del needed to change the subject fast.

“Now what is it exactly that you’re cooking there?”

“Oh, it’s a special ingredient for my lemonade. I can’t cook it in the house. The fumes just make me want to go to sleep and have wonderful dreams, but then I wake up, and the day is so hazy.”

“Ahh, yes, now he says he had some lemonade, and then he can’t remember what happened next.”

The Widow Jenkins began blushing at that, and Del cleared his throat.

“Sheriff, I did tell you he was wonderful. I don’t think it would be ladylike to go into any more of the details, now do you? He’s not complaining, is he?”

“Ah, no, ma’am, he isn’t.”

“Well, I wouldn’t think so. He had a very pleasant night too.”

“I think I got a pretty good picture of what happened here. Good day to ya.”

“Sheriff, good day, but be sure to stop by for some of my lemonade some time. All the men who have it seem to enjoy it immensely. Although one of these days, I am sure to have some good news from one of them, and then I won’t need the lemonade ever again.”

Del tipped his hat and then walked away as fast as he could without actually running. As he walked back to the jail, Del was thinking back to all the men over the past year who had been caught naked and claimed they had no idea how they got that way. Usually, they were strangers in town like this current man. This one though remembered far more than the others had so Del had a pretty good idea now what had happened. He walked back into the jail and handed the clothing to the man in the cell. Once the man was dressed, the Sheriff told him he was free to go if he climbed aboard that stage and never came back.

“Thank you, Sheriff. I have to tell you, I won’t ever be back here.”

He took the clothing and dropped the blanket so he could dress. Within a few minutes, the man dressed all in black walked to the stage depot to climb aboard the stage even if it wasn’t supposed to leave for another hour. He thought the people in this town had already seen enough of him, and he wasn’t taking any more chances.

***********

 

Things are not always what they seem even when you are being very observant which Joe isn’t, but Ben and Hoss don’t figure it out either.

Kings and an Ace

Sheriff Roy Coffee walked down the street making his rounds enjoying the evening more than the usual Saturday night. Somehow the Valentine’s Day Dance had a way of making things calmer than usual. It probably helped that it was February, and although mild for that time of year, it was still rather cool which kept more men off the streets and at home where it was warm. As he neared the social hall, he saw the Cartwrights leaving the dance for their long ride back home. All four were smiling. The dance had been peaceful and even young Joe had managed to avoid any kind of altercation.

“Good evening, Ben, boys. Did you enjoy the dance? Did you meet that new schoolteacher that come in to take poor Mister Wilkes’ place?”

Ben smiled broadly. “Yes, I did. In fact, I got to dance with her, and we had a very pleasant conversation.”

Ben remembered that conversation very well. He had kidded her a little about her name and she had sighed.

“My parents named all of us that way. My brother is Daniel Samuel, and my older sister is Hannah Amanda. I guess that Melissa Patricia isn’t so bad when you think of some of the possible combinations they might have chosen. I could have been Matilda Isabella.”

“Or Sophia Lavinia.”

Both had chuckled then before Ben had talked about naming his sons as well as extolling their virtues of course. She was about Hoss’ age and suitable for marriage to any of his sons. Ben was thinking that playing matchmaker might be the only way to get any one of those sons of his to the altar. He was gratified later to see that his sons danced with her more than once each. He could see that all of his sons made a good impression, and one seemed to have made more than that.

Hoss spoke up next.

“She’s a right nice addition to the scenery around here, Roy. I sure liked dancing with her.”

Hoss especially liked that she had spoken warmly to him and asked about the things that he liked. It was going to be the next day before he wondered how she knew he liked fishing so much as well as woodcarving. They had talked about pets and how his father wouldn’t allow a dog in the house. Each time he had danced with her, the dance was always over too fast.

With a broad grin, Little Joe had to add in his commentary. He had enjoyed her laughter and her bright personality.

“She was more impressed with me than these older guys. I had her smiling every time. She appreciates charm and enthusiasm. If she wasn’t so polite, I could probably have had every dance for the rest of the night, but she felt that she had to dance with Adam, and then of course she had to dance with Hoss and Pa again. If they would have given up their turns so she could have had the one she really wanted, and wedding bells could be ringing soon.”

Ben rolled his eyes as Hoss and Roy laughed. Adam had his usual smirk in place. Joe only looked affronted, and his father had to say something.

“Joseph, how is she different than any other beautiful woman you’ve met since you’ve been, oh, about eighteen?”

“Sixteen.”

Adam smirked even more as Joe frowned at him.

Bristling with irritation, Joe couldn’t let that go.

“Oh, yeah. I suppose you think you made more of an impression on her than I did? How about a bet. I bet you that I get a kiss from her before you do.”

“That’s enough. Why don’t you and Hoss go get the horses? Adam and I will wait here for you.”

Ben’s tone and look made it clear that it was an order and not a request. Ben didn’t know what Adam was thinking, but he could guess.

As Hoss and Joe walked to the stable with Joe grumbling a bit, Hoss put a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s a good thing you didn’t make that bet.”

“Why not?”

“Cause I think you already lost.”

“Huh?”

“She and Adam was outside together for quite a while. If they wasn’t kissing, then our older brother done lost his touch.”

“I never saw them go outside together.”

“They didn’t. She’s got a reputation to protect. He walked out first. She walked outside a few minutes after. She came back in first later. He came back in a few minutes after she did.”

“He is sneaky, isn’t he?”

“He was being nice and being a gentleman. She’s got a reputation and a job to protect. Nobody would likely have noticed anything. I only saw it because I was watching him to see if he would do something. He never said nothing neither although I think Pa guessed, and that’s why he sent you and me to get the horses.”

“Damn, no wonder he’s so good at poker. I never guessed a thing by how he looked.”

Later as the four of them were riding home, Joe did his best to make amends with Adam. “She’s a nice lady. I hope the two of you can make a go of it.”

Nodding, Adam expressed his thanks but said nothing more. He preferred to keep the rest of the information to himself. He had kissed her, but that hadn’t been the first time although it was the first time in a long time.

“Thank you for letting me know about the teaching vacancy here. Poor Mister Wilkes falling and breaking both legs.”

“Fortunate for me though. It’s going to be much nicer having you here instead of in San Francisco.”

“I did what you asked. I danced with your father and both of your brothers. Do you think it worked? Do people think we only met tonight?”

“People probably believe that. Pa isn’t so easy to fool, but that won’t matter. You charmed him, and from what you said, he was hoping that you might find one of us an appropriate suitor.”

“Is that what you will be doing then? Calling on me as a proper suitor?”

“If you’ll have me?”

“It’s a little late to ask that question.”

She smiled demurely, and it was then that they kissed on their first Valentine’s Day in Virginia City.