A little to Joe’s disappointment Doc Martin was nowhere to be seen. Neither were the engaged couple. According to Hop Sing the doctor had gone to a neighboring Homestead where an elderly patient needed some treatment. The doctor would call into the Ponderosa on his way back to town. Adam had taken Etta for a drive to the lake.

Joe, now had two niggling annoyances. Firstly he had wanted to see the confrontation between his Pa and Paul Martin. Also he had wanted the doctor to remove the heavy strapping on his leg. He had promised himself a long soak. He couldn’t wait to get into the tub and immerse his body in the warm water. Deciding to wait for a while in the hope that, either the doctor or Etta returned in good time, or else he would take the off bandaging by himself. Even though Hop Sing had the dinner in preparation. He prepared a light snack for Ben. Seeing the ‘moon calf’ look on the face of Hoss he brought out a plate of sandwiches and waited. Staring Little Joe into submission, until he too partook of the informal repast.

Joe found another hitch in his plans. The Doc returned and found him in the barn helping Hoss with the chores. Not that he could do much. He couldn’t stand for long or lift anything. He was more company for his big brother. Paul Martin though didn’t see it like that and lit into Joe. To rub salt into the wound. When he did return to house, guided by the doctor. Paul Martin, seeing his other patient out of bed, comfortably sitting by the fire, reading the paper. He merely inquired as to how Ben was feeling. Joe was more than annoyed and asked the doctor how it was, it was OK for his Pa to disobey the doctors orders. Paul looking rather mystified at the question. The doctor explained that Joe’s father listened to his body and knew when to lay down and when to stand. Joe on the other hand would push himself to the extreme and over the edge. He needed to listen to his body more. Hoss brought the conversation to a swift close by informing the doctor that far from shortshanks listening to his body. He had everyone listening to his body as it was starting to hum. Joe took no umbrage to this remark. Instead he asked the doctor to unwrap his leg so he could take a bath, this Paul Martin was happy to do.

Once more Joe had his bubble burst. Hop Sing, scampered out of the kitchen and placed himself in front of the bath house door. The limping Joe came to a confused stop.

“No long soaky in tub, quicky, quicky. Dinnah on table chop, chop”. Joe groaned in despair.

“Aw come on Hoppy. I been looking forward to this.”

“Frog hoppy…Hop Sing not hoppy.” to embelish his words Hop Sing added a flurry of Cantonese.
, to which Little Joe added a further flurry of Cantonese. Hoss seeing that Joe had the cook otherwise engaged slipped into the kitchen and snagged a couple of fresh baked cookies. To camouflage his indiscretion, Hoss opted to back up the small Asian man.

“Come on shortshanks, you aint that filthy. Better to be dirty and gut full, than clean and gut empty.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything else from you. Weren’t it you just telling me l kinda hummed?” Joe grumbled.

“Yeah, l did say that didn’t I? Yer need any help getting in tub?” Hoss changed sides.

“Sure you don’t wanna wash me as well?”

“Nope little brother, there are somethings l reckon you can manage on yer own. Anyways aint nothing on that scrawny body ayourn l aint scrubbed down before.”

Hoss turned away from the bath house to find Hop Sing barring his way. Hop Sing had seen the crumbs on the big man’s chest and hurried to the kitchen to count his cookies. Finding a deficit he returned with a wooden spoon. The glare on the Chinese man’s face could have crisped up bacon at ten paces. Quickly Hoss hid both hands behind his back. He had felt the sting of Hop Sings wooden spoon on too many occasions. Hoss gave his best toothy grin. Which had no effect and just earned him a painful dig in the stomach from the kitchen utensil. Hoss’s face broke into a picture of agony.

“He who take Hop Sings little cookie get big ache in belly foh touble.” for a second time he buried the spoon handle deep into Hoss’s stomach. He gave a swift nod of satisfaction and disappeared back to where he had come from.

A muffled cry, followed by a loud splash of water turned three heads to face the direction of here the cry had come from.

“Get in there Hoss and see what’s going on with your brother…if he is laying in that tub with another broken leg. He will have no legs to stand on.”

Frowning at his Pa, Hoss didn’t know if he was being serious or joshing. Shaking his head in confusion he tapped on the door. Opened it slightly and peeked round the frame. Little Joe heard neither the tapping nor saw the movement of the door. Hoss’s blue eyes crinkled into a smile as he watched his young brother luxuriating in the steaming tub. Suddenly realising he was being spied on, Joe, flicked his eyes open and scowled at his brother,

“Stop fretting big brother l won’t forget to wash behind my ears,” preparing himself to make a quick exit, Hoss gave reply.

“Aint yer ears l’m fretting about punkin.”

Balling up a wet cloth, Joe propelled it toward his brother “Get outa here.” he yelled. Hoss had the door closed before he heard the dull thud of the sodden flannel hitting the wood.

Hoss was still chuckling as he walked back to the great room to join his Pa and Paul Martin. Before he sat, and put his father’s mind at rest that his baby boy was alive and well. Hoss snagged a red apple from the bowl. Completely oblivious to the snappy, crunchy noises that accompanied his enjoyment of the shiny, red fruit, Hoss chomped away.

“Isn’t there any chores that need your attention in the barn son?” now understanding the reason for his Pa’s suggestion. Hoss stared at the apple as if it were to blame. Hauling himself out of the blue chair. Hoss halted his biting and chewing just long enough to give a reply.

“Reckon you’re right at that Pa,” Hoss reached the main door. It opened in front of him. Adam held it, allowing Etta to enter the room. “Hey, Miss Etta how’d like the lake?”

“Hoss, l have never seen anything so beautiful,”

“Neither have l young lady, you must be Etta?”

Ben was already at the door. Adam and Etta were taken completely by surprise. Ever the gentleman Ben helped Etta with her shawl and escorted her to the sofa. He waited until she was sitting comfortably before he seated himself back into his red chair. Adam looked to Hoss for an explanation. Hoss, shrugged his big shoulders in a ‘don’t ask me’ gesture, and propped his butt against the credenza. With an angelic look of innocence he took another bite of the apple and stared in silence at his brother. Sucking deep a lungful of air, Adam exhaled as he turned to face the music.

“Pa?”

“Over here son, come and sit down. Don’t you have something to tell me, some kind of announcement?” Ben’s faced beamed with happiness. Adam and Etta exchanged stunned glances.

“Well Pa, yes l do.” Before Adam could say another word he was rudely interrupted

“Hell fire, what does a fella have to do to get some privacy around here?”

Little Joe’s yell of annoyance, turned everyone’s faces in the direction of the far side of the house. To the location in which the wash house and kitchen were situated. Hoss took a side step away from the furniture he was resting on and peeped his head around the corner. He too fixed his gaze on the wash house door, which was now ajar. Hop Sing stood in the doorway with his hand on the door frame. For a brief moment, as he made a wild grab for towel. The rear view of Little Joe’s naked body was exposed for all to see.

“Hop Sing say dinnah five minute. Lita Joe soak enough.”

“Lita Joe say Hop Sing shut dang door or feel wood of brush.”

A long handled, wooden, back brush sailed through the doorway and clattered harmlessly to the floor. Hop Sing quickly shut the door and turned to the silent room. Dipping his head in acknowledgment or apology, he bent to the floor, picked up the brush.and still facing the speechless group. He once again pushed the door open. Without turning his head he flung the brush over his shoulder directly into the wash house. Pulled the door too, then disappeared into the kitchen.

A high pitched yelp, followed by the familiar sound of wood hitting the floor, became the straw on the camels back.

Ben’s face was a mask of stone. He didn’t know exactly where to look. Etta prayed that she wouldn’t be the first to laugh. She wasn’t, though she couldn’t tell who was. Within seconds the room was a riot of uproarious laughter. Finally the mask of stone cracked and Ben added his deep, throaty guffaws. As the door of the wash house once more was pushed open. Allowing the limping Joe to exit the room. A strained silence fell across the great room. Ben’s face returned to it’s stony glare when he took in Joe’s bare legs and robe. A towel in one hand daubing the wet from his hair.

Hop Sing scuttled from the kitchen complaining of too much foolishment, and asking if “Mista Doctor Paul eat with family?” Paul Martin dithered saying as how he was overstaying his welcome by partaking of the Cartwright’s hospitality. He had dined at the house the previous night.

“You can always knock it off the bill.” Joe suggested as he continued to towel dry his hair. He halted at the foot of the stairs. Resting, preparing himself for the trek to the top of the stairs and his bedroom.

“Joseph!!” Ben was now not amused, either by his son’s flippant remark to the doctor. Or the boy’s scantily clad body. “there is a lady present.” Ben quietly mouthed his apologies to Etta.

“Pa, that lady has seen more of me than she has …” fortunately Joe brought his head from the towel before he finished his remark. Catching the threatening look that his elder brother had in his eye. Joe quickly rephrased his words. “than she has any right to.”

“You were unconscious at the time kid.” Adam quipped.

“Shame.” Joe replied without thought. Then realising that one word would further incense his father. Joe tried to make a quick get-away. His gammy leg was nowhere ready to cope with any sudden movement. Taking the first step up the stairway. The leg buckled underneath him. He tried to grab the hand rail to save himself. Without Hoss’s intervention he would have found himself decorating the floor.

“Come on shortshanks let’s get yer upstairs and dressed afore you become a disgrace to the family.”

“Become…l was under the impression he had already achieved that notoriety.” Adam’s remark brought a quick response from Joe, which fortunately was muffled in the palm of Hoss’s fleshy hand. Joe’s yelp of annoyance was also muffled as Hoss bodily lifted him up and both brothers ascended the stairs.