Summary: This is the third of the four stories revolving around Adam’s Bible (the Bible Elizabeth had used when she was young.) The Bible was thought ruined in The Book of Joseph, but was restored in The Book of Ben, and is now ready to be sent to Adam in Boston. Ben tells his middle son that he should write Adam a letter to enclose along with the Bible. But after Hoss has a particularly miserable day tending his sick brother and father, he pens a letter to Adam letting him know exactly how he feels.

It is not necessary to read the other stories to enjoy this one. Each book provides a look at love and lessons learned in the young Cartwright family. Thank you for reading.

Note: This is a re-post of a story that wasn’t showing correctly. Thank You.

Rating: K  (6,565 words)

Rated: K  WC  6700

A Circle of Family Series:

A Circle of Family:  The Story of Joseph
A Circle of Family:  The Story of Benjamin
A Circle of Family: The Story of Hoss
A Circle of Family: The Story of Adam

A Circle of Family
The Book of Hoss

A nervous middle son reached for the knob on his father’s bedroom door, then pulled his hand away as one would from a hot poker. In his haste to share what was happening in the room down the hall, he’d almost forgotten the number one rule on the second floor of the Cartwright house: KNOCK FIRST and wait to be invited inside. Pa was a stickler for all such rules and wouldn’t hesitate to holler first and ask questions later if the rule was broken. Hoss Cartwright knew this well from experience and brought his hand to knock on the heavy wooden door of Ben’s bedroom.

“Pa? Pa, you in there?” When his knock brought no response, Hoss thought to call out a little, too. But that was it. If his pa didn’t respond to that, he just had to go in. There was something he needed to tell him and it couldn’t wait. The young man listened a moment longer, and still hearing no response from inside, cracked the door enough to stick his head in and called softly, “Pa, I don’t mean to disturb you, but I gotta talk to you.”

Hoss was truly puzzled. He could see the shape of his father lying on his side in the bed and yet the man didn’t move a muscle even after Hoss entered the room. “Pa?” A little louder this time, but still no response. Hoss moved toward the bed with his heart pounding, wondering what was wrong. Maybe Pa was giving him some sort of test to see if he’d wait to be invited in as was required. But test or no test, he couldn’t wait. Hoss figured his father would stop hollering once he knew why he’d transgressed. The boy relaxed as he heard a choked snore drifting from the direction of the bed. If Pa was still asleep, he couldn’t be testing his resolve to obey.

However, a new unease was growing as he realized that his father never slept this late. He moved close enough to reach out and jostle Ben’s shoulder. “Pa, I expected you’d be up by this time and there’s something I gotta tell you.”

Ben finally rolled to his back and reached up to grasp Hoss’ arm while scrubbing at his eyes with his free hand. “Did you say you needed something son? I afraid I’m not feeling well this morning.

Hoss considered his father’s red-rimmed, glassy eyes and the heat of the man’s touch, knowing with certainty that both Pa and Little Joe were suffering the same malady. “Um, Pa, I hate t’ burden you with this, but Little Joe’s sick too.” When Ben said nothing, he added, “Whaddaya want to do about it?”

Ben’s weary arm dropped to his side as his eyes drifted closed again.

“Pa. Please don’t go t’ sleep again.” Hoss’ voice was urgent. In the past when his pa got sick, Adam had been there to take charge, so the younger brother had never been in a position where he was the only man standing. He reached over to gently push his father’s shoulder again. “Pa?”

Rousing himself enough to remember that Hoss was with him—and why—Ben responded coherently. “What’s wrong with Little Joe?”

“Pretty much same as you, Pa. Fever, dry throat, kinda sleepy-like: ‘ceptin he says his stomach don’t feel so good.”

Now that Ben considered it, his stomach didn’t feel so good either. “All right, son. I’ll come take a look.” Ben pushed the covers away, moved his feet over the side of the bed and stood up… As he thought about it while lying on the floor next to his bed, he figured he probably should have taken things a little more slowly to allow his head to catch up to his body as he’d tried to stand. But he hadn’t, and he’d been hit with a wave of dizziness so severe he’d dropped like a felled pine. Looking up into Hoss’ shocked face he had to chuckle just a little, until nausea hit him with an upper cut to the gut. Luckily there was a chamber pot at the end of the bed and he was able to reach it in a timely manner.

Hoss sat on the chair next to his father’s bed, head in his hands, feeling a little dizzy and nauseous himself—not because of the same illness his father and brother were experiencing—but because he was lost as to what to do next. Feeling a bit encouraged as Ben sat up, Hoss went to help him inch back into bed. Through the transfer, Hoss verbalized a steady litany. “Pa, d’ ya want me to get a doctor? What should I do now? Are you all right? Just exactly how sick are you? What’s wrong? What am I gonna do?”

Once resting in bed again, Ben tried to calm his son. “Slow down, Hoss. Joe and I probably have some sickness that’s going around, and we’ll be better if we rest, so you don’t need to get the doctor, at least not now. I’m glad that you seem healthy. Do you feel sick too?”

“No, Pa. So far, anyways.”

“That’s good. Why don’t you go get Hop Sing and he’ll help figure out what to do.” Ben immediately recalled the futility of those words as Hoss’ wide-eyed stare alerted him that it was Sunday morning and their faithful cook always left the house Saturday night to be with his family, and didn’t return until early Monday. “Oh, that’s right, Hop Sing isn’t here.”

“No he ain’t, Pa. So now what?”

Ben enjoyed watching his sons learn new lessons and accept new responsibilities. What he didn’t enjoy was trying to teach them what to do while it was happening, or without the possibility of a thorough explanation first. Unfortunately, that’s what life in that part of the country often demanded, and at this moment, it was demanding it of Hoss. Whether he wanted to or not, Hoss was about to have a lesson in being a caregiver, and observing the frightened look on his son’s face, Ben realized they were both feeling a little panicked. “Hoss, you are going to have to be strong today. You’ve just seen that I can’t get up and it sounds like your brother may need your help as much as I do. First, please go check on him and make sure he’s comfortable. Then report back to me. Can you do that?”

“Sure, Pa.” Hoss left the room with wobbling knees. As he was about to exit, he remembered something. “Hey, Pa. We’re supposed to be headin’ over to the Smyths’ after church, remember? How we gonna let them know we won’t be comin’?”

A smile crossed Ben’s lips even as his head pounded and his stomach continued to lurch. He knew that Hoss was smitten with the young Maddy Smyth and was excited about the get-together. “I’m sorry, Hoss. I know you were looking forward to it, but they’ll figure out that something’s wrong when they don’t see us at the service this morning. If Joe and I are feeling better later, you can ride over and let them know. But right now, I think it’s best that you stay here and keep an eye on your brother for me.” Hoss nodded and started to close the door. “Son, just leave the door open. That way I can hear what’s going on.”

“Sure, Pa.” Hoss walked the hallway to Joe’s room like a condemned man on his way to the gallows; knowing in his heart that things were bad if pa allowed his door to remain open. This was certainly turning into one of those days when he’d much rather have been in his tight-collared Sunday shirt, listening to a preacher drone on about sin, repentance and forgiveness, than to be chewing what was on his plate. And he surely wasn’t prepared for what he found a few steps later…

Ben heard Hoss’ groan very clearly as he lay helpless. “What’s the matter, Hoss?” The sick man raised his voice long enough to be heard, but realized that was all he could muster at that moment.

White as a sheet, Hoss rounded the doorframe back into Ben’s room. “Oh, Pa! Ya won’t believe what Joe did! Oh, Pa,” he moaned again. “I ain’t got no idea what to do about this.”

Ben continued to lay with his eyes closed to keep the room from spinning. “Explain!” was all he could offer.

“Well, he’s covered from head to toe with somethin’ I don’t even want to think about. I ‘spect he’s had similar problems to yours, Pa, but he wasn’t so lucky as to make it to the commode. Oh, Pa, I don’t know what to do.”

Ben understood. After eighteen years of having children in his household, he still couldn’t fathom why illness had to affect young people so much harder than adults. He had decided along the way, that it maybe it wasn’t the illness that was so different, but the response to it. Most children were so surprised at being sick that they were caught off guard. And when a stomach was emptying, it didn’t care if its exit point was over a collection device or still resting on a pillow. Unfortunately for Hoss, it appeared that Little Joe hadn’t made his way to that collection device. “It’s okay, son. I’ll come and take a look and see what we can do.” With resolve, the father tried once more to rise from his bed: more slowly this time. He needn’t have worried. Slow or fast, the result was the same. Waves of dizziness and nausea knocked him down so quickly that he found himself sprawled over his bed, limbs akimbo, shaking, sweating and shivering—all at the same time.

Hoss knew his pa wasn’t going to be able to help him and simply held the covers up so Ben could ease back into a more comfortable position. “Pa, you’re too sick to help out. Just tell me what to do and I’ll try.” The young man was nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, but he steeled his back trying to look confident so his father wouldn’t worry.

Ben’s voice was very soft as he tried to explain without aggravating the anvil and hammer pounding away inside his head. “Hoss, you’ve tended sick animals all your life. It’s going to be the same here.” The wise father had enough presence of mind to know that it would be easier for his son to figure out what to do if he referenced something familiar to him. “Think about what you do for them.”

A light began to dawn in the middle son’s eyes. “Sure, Pa. I wash them up, muck out the dirty straw and put clean bedding down—things like that. Is that what you mean?”

“Exactly, Hoss. I knew I could count on you.” If Ben had been able to open his eyes, he’d have seen the look of pride being worn by his son. “You better go now and help Little Joe. He’s probably getting pretty uncomfortable.”

Ben’s ears were functioning just fine, and smiled when he heard Hoss mumbling as he left the room. “Sure wish Joe was in a bed of straw instead a them dirty sheets. I’d know what to do ‘bout that.”

Hoss held his nose as he entered Joe’s room again, and went directly to open the window for fresh air. As he approached the bed, he saw his little brother’s cheeks dewy with perspiration, and his dark curls coiled even tighter with the heat of his fever, and was filled with love for the child. Pulling away the soiled bedding, he sat next to his brother. “It’s gonna be alright, Little Joe. Just you wait and see. Now we gotta get you cleaned up and make you feel better.”

The small child opened his tear filled eyes, looked over at his brother and whimpered, “I want Pa!”

“Pa ain’t feelin’ any better than you, Joe, so he’s in bed too.” Hoss tried to soothe Joe by rubbing his bony back. He no longer noticed the mess or the odor as he mothered the boy as he had seen Adam do countless times.

Little Joe pulled away from Hoss’ touch as he cried out, “I want Adam! You don’t know what to do, Hoss! Get Adam, get Adam, get Adam!”

Taken aback at the outburst, Hoss stared dumbfounded at his kid brother. His mind moved dangerously close to an angry outburst as he thought, sure Adam was always the one who took over for Pa, but I’m the one always here fer ya, Joe. If I hadn’t promised Pa to take care of you, I’d let you lay in that mess and go outside for some fun, or at least some fresh air. Maybe you can holler a little louder for Adam, Joe, and he’ll hear ya, all the way yonder in Boston. But turning again to the sobbing child, Hoss’ heart gave his bothered mind a nudge, sending him to the dresser drawers to find a clean nightshirt and sheets. After placing those things on the table by Joe’s bed, he went downstairs to get warm water for bathing the boy. While in the kitchen, Hoss realized he hadn’t eaten a thing yet and heard his stomach grumbling about it. Seizing a piece of bread, he took a bite, grabbed his supplies and headed up to the sickroom. As he climbed he realized Joe was right about one thing. “I wish Adam was here too,” Hoss muttered. “In fact, I’m getting downright peeved that Adam ain’t around to help.”

Hoss’ Sunday was a whirlwind of running. After he got Little Joe cleaned up and comfortable, he returned to his father’s room with cool water for drinking and to wet a cloth for his forehead. The boy’s legs were worn out from flying up and down the steps with items the two sick family members required. At one point, he filled a large copper pot outside with water, and stoked a blazing fire beneath it. He’d seen Hop Sing start up their laundry that way most of his life and figured he couldn’t let the soiled things sit around too long. Once the water was bubbling, he added a large dosing of lye soap chips and threw all the dirty clothing and linens in to boil. He figured with the shape they were in, they could stand to cook a while.

By mid afternoon the pace settled down. His patients were both resting quietly, and Hoss decided it was time to take care of the doctor. When heading downstairs—this time with the intent of making a sandwich and doing a thorough search of Hop Sing’s kitchen to find what he could to fill the growling hole in his innards—he spotted Adam’s Bible, still resting on the corner of his father’s desk. It seemed like a month ago that he and Pa had talked about the book and what a good job Hop Sing’s cousin did with the restoration, but it had only been two days earlier. Hoss remembered that his father had told him to write Adam a letter to send along with the book.

First things first, he thought. Hoss made his way to the kitchen for sustenance before returning to Ben’s desk, where he found a clean sheet of paper and a pencil. The boy was exhausted, worried and feeling unappreciated, and the words he wrote reflected his mood.

Dear Adam,

I got just one question for you. Why’d you leave us? Pa and Joe are sick and I been taking care of them all day. But they don’t want me. They want you and you’re not here. I kinda wish I could be somewheres else too, but I got to stay here and take care of things since you run off on us.

Hoss’ letter continued on a bit more as he let his brother know of his unhappy day. It wasn’t that he minded caring for his pa and brother, but his thoughts returned to Joe’s tortured face calling for the one person who wasn’t there. He let his tiredness fuel his hurt as he thought further about his older brother. It’s always Adam that gets the credit, he thought ruefully. Adam always does just the right thing. He’s so perfect. Hoss gave out a low chuckle as his thoughts continued. I should call him Saint Adam of the Ponderosa. He added that appellation into his letter and reread what he’d written. Hoss was amazed by his wit and humor expressed at Adam’s expense. But he deserves it.  It’s hard for a body to live in someone’s shadow, especially when they ain’t even around to cast it anymore.

After signing his name, he found an envelope, tucked the paper inside, sealed it and wrote “Adam” on the front in large script. Then he opened the Bible to a random page, intending to stick the note inside. But as he lay his envelope onto the fragile paper, his eyes were drawn to a verse: Romans 12:10. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another. He read it again and then quickly laid the note in and closed the book. There, he was finished with it. He just wished he could see Adam’s face when he read it.

Another quick inspection of his charges found both man and boy sound asleep, so Hoss raced downstairs to get outside for a while. Funny thing was that without his father and brother around, he couldn’t find much of interest to do out there, and ended up throwing rocks at some cans and bottles he set up on the corral fence posts. Being outdoors usually brought the child great peace, but it wasn’t working today. The Bible verse he’d read earlier wound around his heart like a vine, sending long tendrils to his brain as well. He couldn’t let loose of it unless he found the root of why it was squeezing so hard. It didn’t take much thought to realize that it was his letter. Hoss was suddenly filled with remorse over the unkind things he’d written to his brother. He didn’t really feel that way at all, and was at a loss to know why he’d put down what he did. Instead of wishing he could be there to see Adam’s confusion and hurt, he felt the pain his older brother would know as he read what he’d written and it touched the boy’s soul. He was happy that Adam was able to do the one thing he wanted so much. Hoss didn’t care for school, but he knew Adam hungered as much for learning as he did for chocolate cake. The boy knew for certain that he loved his brother and had always honored him, looked up to him and wished him well. He was so saddened by his written outburst that he turned from his pastime, intending to go inside to discard the first letter and write a new one. Well, maybe I’ll put in the Saint Adam part again ‘cause that was funny, he mused as he headed for the door.

Hoss was startled by a rumbling sound coming into the yard just as he grabbed the doorknob. He was sure the two people in the wagon could hear his heart beating wildly as he saw Maddy Smyth sitting next to her brother Jeb. This was a most happy turn of events, and he completely forgot about his letter as he moved toward the wagon.

Maddy was eager to explain their arrival. “Hello, Hoss. Didn’t expect to see you outside. Ma figured you might all be down with an illness or ya wouldn’t have missed the service and our dinner.”

Hoss’ shyness was evident as he looked toward his boots. “Your ma was pretty close to bein’ right, Maddy. I’m the only one who ain’t sick. I been tending my pa and brother all day now.” He’d finally worked up the courage to look up at the pretty blond with pigtails hanging down to her waist. “Sorry we missed dinner. I’m sure it was real nice.”

“Well, that’s why we’re here, Hoss. So you wouldn’t miss it. Ma sent three boxes of food along with us. She even packed a fresh apple pie ‘cause I told her it were yer favorite.” Maddy gave Hoss a brilliant smile as she indicated the boxes in the back of the wagon. “Ma saw your cook in town and figured you might need some good food even if you all was less than healthy.”

Hoss grinned when he heard Maddy’s information because he’d been certain he’d smelled fried chicken and apple pie just before the Smyth wagon pulled up, but he’d figured it was just his less than satisfied stomach giving him wishful thinking. “Why that’s mighty nice of your ma. I’ll take the things inside.”

Maddy poked her brother and gave him a dirty look when he didn’t act immediately. “Don’t worry Hoss, Jeb will take the boxes inside for you. That way you and me can talk a spell before we got to go. Ma says we have to come straight home so we don’t catch what yer family’s got.”

Jeb sighed and rolled his eyes, but dutifully climbed down and did as his sister asked. While he toted the boxes to the house, Hoss helped Maddy down from the wagon so they could talk easier. As Jeb returned for the last box, Maddy began to talk quickly. “Hoss. I came with Jeb ‘cause I needed for you to know something.”

“What’s that Maddy?”

“I really like you, Hoss. I think you’re just the nicest boy around these parts.”

The headiness of Maddy’s statement along with the rush of the day claimed Hoss’ judgment and he figured it was now or never. He’d had a conversation about this moment with Adam just before he went East, and now he was about to use everything he had practiced. Taking Maddy’s shoulders, Hoss moved closer and bent toward her. What happened next kept Hoss dancing in the clouds whenever he thought back to it.

When the Smyth children were leaving, Hoss realized again how lonely it was being by himself while his family slept upstairs. He figured there were still chores to do and some tending of his pa and brother yet before he could go to sleep, but the quiet rattled his nerves a little. To his great delight and thankfulness, about the time the dust from the Smyth wagon cleared, Hop Sing came riding in.

“Hey, Hop Sing. You came back early.”

The small man looked over the empty yard and asked. “Father and brother are sick?”

“That’s right, but how’d you know that?”

“Saw Smyth family in town. They say no Cartlight’s in town for church. Figure must be sick, so finish business and come back lickety split. You all right, Mr. Hoss?”

“So far, Hop Sing. I sure am glad to see you!”

The cook quickly checked on the pair of sick Cartwrights and determined they were well enough for tea, so he began bustling around the kitchen. When Hoss came in to forage through the food the Smyths had brought, Hop Sing noticed that the boy looked a little dazed and pink cheeked, so inquired, “You getting sick too, Missa Hoss?”

“I’m just fine,” came out as a sigh.

By evening father and youngest son were feeling much improved, venturing downstairs long enough for Hop Sing to straighten their rooms and clean up what Hoss had missed earlier. Returning to the family, the small Chinese man gave high praise to their nurse for the day. “Middle son take good care of Cartlights. Vely good job. Even do laundry. Father should be proud.”

Ben took his cue to continue. “You did do a wonderful job, Hoss. I am definitely proud of you, and thankful too.”

Hoss practically glowed with the praise being heaped upon him. A thought flashed through his mind that Adam would have been impressed with how well he’d handled everything too. Adam’s face passed through his memory and he knew there was something he needed to do yet, but it was lost for the moment as he dug into another piece of Mrs. Smyth’s apple pie.

When Hoss made a last check on Little Joe before heading to bed, he was met with hugs and apologies for crying for Adam earlier. “You did just great, Hoss. You did just as good as Adam.”

What a day it had turned out to be! From the ashes of a miserable start, and a load of self-pity, Hoss had learned some mighty important things about himself and what he was able to do. And Maddy’s visit had proved to be the icing on the cake. While all these thoughts and feelings rolled in his sleepy head, the thought that had been nagging at him all evening came into focus when he noted his school tablet on his desk. There was still the matter of the letter he needed to rewrite and replace. No way did he want Adam to read what he had written earlier, and he began working on a new letter that he planned to exchange for the one sitting in the Bible downstairs—first thing in the morning.

His happiness flowed onto the paper as he told Adam of the day’s events and how he’d managed just fine. He told his brother that he now understood what Adam had done for their family over the years, and said that he missed him, but hoped he was doing well in school and had lots of friends. Hoss stopped writing as he considered how to tell his brother about the most unexpected event of the day. Putting his pencil down, Hoss stretched back to relive the moment, and then let his mind roll back to a conversation he’d had with Adam just before he’d left a year ago.

~~~

Hoss appeared in Adam’s doorway just as he was stuffing a last few things into his valise. It was his last night home and the Cartwrights had celebrated his impending departure that evening with some family friends who’d been invited for supper. His brother’s time at home was winding down and Hoss figured if he was going to ask any important questions, it was now or never.

The younger brother quickly slipped inside the room and shut the door behind him. “Adam, could I ask you somethin’ real important before you leave?”

“Sure, Hoss. Ask away.” Adam stopped what he was doing to pay attention.

“I’m not real sure how to ask this, since it’s kind’a personal.”

“Just say it, Hoss. I leave in about twelve hours, so you don’t have much time.” Adam figured it was going to be a question about having his room after he left or using something he was leaving behind, but was startled at hearing…

“How do ya kiss a girl?”

Adam’s eyes grew large as he bit his cheeks to keep from laughing. He’d have thought Hoss to be kidding, but the boy had a dead serious expression. He asked, “Do you have a specific girl in mind to do this kissing with, Hoss?”

“Nah, it ain’t like that so much. It’s just that I’m sure you’ve kissed lots of gals already, and I figure to have the opportunity to kiss a few by the time you get back home, so I need to get this information now, before you go.”

Adam decided that with all the figuring Hoss was doing, he needed a truthful answer. “Well, where do you want to start with this kissing lesson?”

“How d’ ya know it’s time?”

“Hmm. That’s the hard part to explain, Hoss. When it’s time, you’ll know it. Sometimes you get it wrong, but most times, by the time you’re ready to give a kiss, the girl is ready to kiss you back.”

“That’s good.” Hoss breathed deeply and asked again. “But how d’ya do it?”

Adam’s smile was wide enough to drive a wagon through as he told his younger brother to pucker. Hoss screwed up his lips in what he thought a fine kissing pose. This time, Adam laughed out loud. “Hoss, you look like a pan fish. Your lips are too tight. Think large mouth bass instead of bait fish.”

“What’s fishing got to do with kissin’?” Hoss was giggling now, but still interested.

Adam snickered too as he explained. “Hoss, you’ll find that your first kiss will feel pretty much like kissing a fish. You’ll both be so puckered up that you’ll barely feel each other’s lips. But you’ll get better with time.”

“That doesn’t help, Adam. How do I stop kissin’ like a fish?”

Adam walked over to his brother and took his wrist. “If pa walks in us right now, we’ll both be teased about this for the rest of our lives. You know that don’t you?”

“You know pa’s rule about knockin’ first, so I’ll stand in front of the door so he can’t get in too fast. So stop worryin’ and get talkin”.”

“Okay.” Adam still couldn’t believe he was doing this, but he’d started and he had to finish. “Margaret Benson once told me she did this, and I gotta admit, it works—I mean I’ve heard it works.” Adam stopped and considered whether he should go on. “I swear I’ll throttle you if you ever tell anyone about this, Hoss.”

“What works, Adam? I promise I won’t tell a soul.”

“Um,” he pointed to the fleshy mound at the base of Hoss’ thumb.  “You can practice kissing that part of your hand.”

“Aw, come on, Adam, now yer just funnin’ me.”

“No, I’m not, Hoss.” A deep sigh preceded a closing of his eyes and shake of the head. But he forged on. “Don’t do it now, but what you can do is to let your mouth go loose—more natural and not so puckery—then open your lips a little as you put them on your hand and then draw in on that fleshy part.”

Hoss interrupted. “How far apart d’ya open your lips?”

“Huh?” Adam had to stop and envision a kiss. This whole conversation was making him a little edgy. He could almost feel Ben on the other side of the door taking it all in and using it at some most inopportune time. He lowered the volume of his voice. “Put your tongue between your lips. That’s the right amount to start, I guess.”

“Speak up, Adam. I can’t hear your mumblin’!”

Moving a step closer, Adam repeated his advice and added, “It’s not like really kissing someone, but you get the general feel of how to do it. Later when you kiss someone for real, start softly and then press a little harder and draw her lips in a little more when the girl responds.” Adam watched as Hoss began to raise his hand. “Oh, no, no. Stop that. That is not something I want to observe. Do it privately in your own room, and for heaven’s sake, don’t let pa or Little Joe ever walk in on you!”

Hoss was giggling more loudly now as he asked, “Do ya know that from experience Adam? Did pa catch you?”

Pink rose from Adam’s neck to his ears. What he said next made Hoss understand the importance of the second floor house rule of knocking before entering someone’s room. Adam finally admitted, “Almost.”

“Does it really work Adam? I mean kissing your hand like that?”

“It’s just a tool, Hoss. The only real way to practice is with a living, breathing girl who wants to be kissed. But that will come in time. Don’t worry about it. Your first kiss will be awkward, but it gets a lot better after that.”

~~~

Hoss had practiced kissing a few times since then, but in the end, it turned out that Adam was right, just like always. He bent back over his paper and began to write again:

Adam, you were right. I got my first kiss today. Maddy Smyth came by and was so doggone nice that I went to kiss her on the cheek before she left. She must have figured out what was I was doing and turned just as I swooped in, and kissed me back—on the lips! It was a fish kiss, just like you said, mostly pucker, but I sure ain’t ever known nothin’ sweeter. Glad you weren’t here to see me blushing. Hop Sing and Pa never caught on and thought I was getting sick, but you would of known better.

Once the last of his thoughts were added to the letter, Hoss fell asleep dreaming of pretty girls and fish.

***

Hoss rubbed at his eyes again, thinking they were still a little sleepy which would account for his not seeing the Bible where it had rested the night before.  Hearing the clink of dishes, he looked over to see Hops Sing busily clearing the dining table from breakfast. That was a good sign, since someone had already eaten before he got downstairs. Pa must be feeling a lot better. “Hop Sing, do you know where Adam’s Bible is? It was on the desk last night and now it’s gone!”

“You late getting up. Eat so I finish dishes.”

“Sure, Hop Sing. I’m comin’, but do you know where the Bible is?”

“I wrap it this morning. Father take along today.” Indicating the credenza by the door with an armload of dirty dishes, Hop Sing grumbled, “Over there.”

The young man’s heart fell as he found the neatly wrapped and tied package next to his father’s hat. Ben came in just then, looking pale and listing a bit, but much improved from the day before. “What’s wrong Hoss? You look like you’ve lost your best friend.”

A mumbled, “Maybe I did.”

“Speak up, son. I can’t hear what you’re saying.”

“Pa, can I open this package and put my letter inside Adam’s Bible?”

“I looked inside before asking Hop Sing to wrap it, and saw that you’d already left a letter in there, Hoss, so I’m not sure what you mean.”

“I wrote that one when I was, a, um, upset over some things yesterday, Pa. I really don’t want Adam to see it. I wrote a new one last night that should go instead.”

Ben couldn’t imagine Hoss writing anything that would be questionable. “I’m sure your letter was fine son. We can’t open the package because it’s wrapped in special paper Hop Sing’s cousin sent along to protect the Bible during the sea voyage. We can’t risk damaging it or we’ll miss our chance to send the package. I’ll just take your second letter along and ask Fred to send both items. They should arrive together.

“But, Pa.”

“No buts, son. I have to get this on its way or we might as well keep it here until Adam gets home again. That wouldn’t be fair. I’m sure he’s wondering what became of it.”

Hoss simply nodded, knowing that he hadn’t meant to hurt Adam, but was probably about to do just that.

Noting Hoss’s continued look of dismay, Ben offered, “Maybe this is a good lesson, son. You’ve learned that sometimes the opportunity to say the right thing is lost, and you have to live with the consequences.”

The memory of his first kiss and triumphant day were washed away as he pictured his brother reading his letter while feeling every jab and punch Hoss had laid down in pencil lead. “Are you sure we can’t be real careful and open it up?”

“That’s enough son. I’ve told you what I’ll do and that will have to be good enough. Now eat your breakfast and get started on your chores so you won’t be late for school.

There was nothing else he could say. When pa said, “That’s enough,” there was no further discussion allowed. Both letters were on their way to his brother and he would have to wait a long time to find out what Adam thought about it. Maybe he should have told pa exactly what was in his first note, but he doubted it would have made the man change his mind. On the other hand, the letters were going to Saint Adam of the Ponderosa, and in his heart, Hoss hoped the goodly saint might figure out what had happened.

Hoss dug into to a breakfast of hotcakes and ham, pushing the earlier discussion with his father out of mind. Instead he thought about seeing Maddy Smyth later that morning at school, and remembered how soft and sweet her lips had felt when he’d kissed her. Even though Little Joe was doing better, he had still been allowed the luxury of receiving his breakfast in bed, leaving Hoss alone with his thoughts.

Hoss’ mind continued to wander, finally turning back to the events of yesterday when he’d faced a bad situation and found what reward there was in helping others. He pushed his plate away half eaten as his first letter claimed his attention again. Hoss realized he’d ruined a perfect day with one imperfect act and felt almost sick as he thought about hurting his older brother. Yet he knew his brother was different than other people. Maybe he wasn’t a saint, but he sure was different. He’ll understand, Hoss thought, and then added a silent prayer, Dear God, please make sure my brother gets both them letters at the same time so he knows I wasn’t really mad at him and that I think he is the best older brother there ever could be. And, please let him be as kindly affectioned toward me as I am to him. He breathed a deep sigh and added a quick, oh, Amen. Hoss headed from the house to do his chores, still laden with uncertainty about his letters, but feeling as though a burden was lifting from his shoulders.

As he walked across the yard toward the barn, Hoss thought of his brother so far away and chuckled again, “Saint Adam of the Ponderosa. I sure wish you was still here.”

The End

Next Story in the A Circle of Family Series:

A Circle of Family: The Story of Adam

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