Summary: Ben returns to the Ponderosa after a month long absence in San Francisco. He brings along a long time family friend as a guest in the house. A warm homecoming soon turns into turmoil when Joe finds this guest a threat to his mother’s memory and Adam adds to the issues by choosing to announce his plans for the future at the most inopportune time. It is up to Ben to pick up all the pieces and reassemble his family once more.

Rating:  K+  WC  12,000

Picking up the Pieces

Little Joe Cartwright was in his room when he first heard it; the soft sound of horse hooves beating the ground. Normally, he would have paid no mind, but today was different. His Pa was coming home after a month long trip to San Francisco. The seven year old flung open his bedroom door and raced down the stairs.

“He’s coming, Hoss. He’s coming!” Joe bellowed out at his brother. He quickly zoomed by him as he headed towards the front door. Hoss laid down his sandwich and immediately followed suit.

Just as the two stepped out into the yard, a buggy drove into sight. It was being driven by their older brother, Adam. Joe and Hoss eagerly ran up to it as it slowed to a stop.

“What’s with the buggy, Adam?” Hoss questioned.

“Well, I’m afraid our father came home with a bit more luggage than we expected. I had to rent a buggy to get it all home.”

Adam then turned and extended his hand out towards the occupants. A moment later a white-gloved hand embraced Adam’s and a tall dark-haired woman stepped down to the ground. She nodded politely in thanks and then turned her hazel eyes towards the two stunned younger Cartwrights.

“My Ben, you were right about your sons. They are all so very handsome.”

Hoss averted his eyes and slightly blushed. Joe just continued to stare.

Ben Cartwright stepped out alongside the woman. “Well, is that any way to greet a father after a long journey,” he eagerly stated.

He then stepped towards both of his sons. Hoss immediately wrapped his arms around him in a bear hug. “I’m glad you’re home, Pa,” He softly said.

“Me, too, son… me too.”

Ben then turned towards Joe. “And have you been as good as Adam says you were?” He questioned his youngest.

Joe simply nodded and accepted his father’s warm embrace and soft kiss to his forehead.

“Boys, I like you to meet Ms. Mary Sullivan. We grew up together and attended the same school. Mary, this is my son Hoss.”

Hoss immediately remembered his manners and extended his hand out. “Ma’am.”

“And this is my youngest, Joseph.” Joe did not say a word. Ben shot him the eye and he slowly raised his hand in greeting.

“Nice to meet you both,” Mary replied.

Ben then turned towards Mary. “Well now, you must be tired after such a long journey. Why don’t you go inside with Hoss and he will show you to our guest room. You can rest until dinner.”

“That would be wonderful, Ben. I am a little tired.” Mary then smiled at Hoss and the two walked towards the ranch house.

“I’ll put the buggy alongside the barn, Pa and unhitch the horses,” Adam stated. “You probably would like to rest a bit as well.” He then led the animals away.

Ben silently observed his youngest for a moment. The boy had not moved from his spot since he had arrived. “Joseph is there something wrong?” he questioned. “You seem to be a bit quiet today.”

Joseph couldn’t even look up at his Pa. Instead, his eyes fell to the dirt near his feet.

“I’m fine, Pa. I guess I’m just tired is all. I didn’t sleep much last night… ‘cause….’cause… I knew you were coming home.”

Ben smiled and walked over to put his arm around his son. “It’s good to be home, son.” He then turned Joe towards the ranch house. “You know, I didn’t sleep much last night either,” he reiterated his son’s statement. “Perhaps we’ll both feel better after we take a little nap.”

Joe managed a simple, “Yes, Pa.,” as the two entered the house. He then quickly excused himself and headed directly to his room. He made it only to the top of the stairs before the tears started to fall. He quickly made his way down to his room and closed the door. Throwing himself onto his bed, Joe began to sob. For the past two weeks he had talked about nothing else except his Pa coming home again. He had played the homecoming in his mind over and over. It was far different than what had just transpired. Joe looked up with tear filled eyes at his mother’s picture propped up on his nightstand. He reached out and grabbed it, holding it dear to his heart. Joe’s mother had passed away a little over a year ago and Joe still was feeling the emptiness.

“Mama, don’t worry… don’t worry. I’m sure Pa still loves you, too. I love you mama and I miss you. I won’t let anyone ever take your place.”

With these words Joe squeezed the photo tightly and curled up into a little ball. There he remained until he cried himself to sleep.

 

The next thing Joe remembered was his brother Adam talking to him. “Joe, wake up. It’s time for supper.”

Joe slowly opened his eyes and sat up on the edge of the bed. “I’m not that hungry, Adam,” he groggily stated as he rubbed his face. Adam walked over and touched his hand to Joe’s forehead.

“You’re not coming down with something, are you?” He asked slightly concerned.

Joe shook his head no. “I’m just… I’m just tired is all.”

Adam smiled. “And whose fault is that? I distinctly remember a certain brother telling me that he was too old to be put to bed so early… That he wanted to stay up with everyone else.”

Adam poked Joe playfully in the arm, which produced a brief smile. The boy had been so wound up the night prior that it took quite a bit of finagling to get him into his bed.

“C’mon. Pa’s anxious to talk with us all and get caught up on everything that’s happened while he was gone.”

Joe stood up and stretched. “You go ahead. I’ll be right down. I need to … well, you know.” Joe’s eyes glanced over at the chamber pot as he blushed slightly with the presence of his brother.

Adam simply smirked and then started walking over to the door. “All right, little brother. Just remember how Pa is about us arriving late to the table… especially when we have guests.”

He then closed the door and Joe listened until his footsteps quietly faded away. At that moment, Little Joe wanted to crawl right back into bed… just wrap himself up inside the blankets and pull the covers up over his head. Yet, he knew his brother was right. He was expected at the table, properly dressed and on time.

Joe walked over to the mirror and quickly analyzed his attire. He then ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to give his wavy curls the appearance of being freshly combed. He returned to his bed; flattening the mound of covers at its foot by pulling them taut up to the headboard. Just under his pillow he found his mother’s picture. Only a corner of it was visible, sticking ever so slightly out from the pillow’s edge. Joe heaved a sad sigh as he picked it up, and ever so carefully returned it to his nightstand. He felt tears welling in his eyes, but this time he was determined to not let them fall. He quickly turned and walked out the door with the feeling that his mother’s eyes were following him. She was counting on him to do the right thing. Joe knew at that moment that he had to stop his father from making a mistake…regardless the cost.

 

Joe stopped at the top of the staircase to look down at his family. It was nice to see his father sitting at the head of the table again. Hoss was in his usual place to his father’s left. Adam had relinquished his seat across from Ben to Ms. Sullivan and had taken Joe’s usual seat to the right of his father. “Oh great,” Joe thought to himself. “Now I not only have to eat with her I have to sit next to her, too.”

Just then Ben noticed his youngest. “Joseph we’ve been waiting, son.” His words were softly spoken, and Joe could tell by the tone that his father was only mildly annoyed with his lateness. He quickly made his way to the table and sat down next to Adam. He chose not to make eye contact with anyone and simply bowed his head; hoping it would encourage his father to begin the evening grace.

Ben stared but a moment at his youngest before lowering his head.

“Heavenly father, we find ourselves once again together as a family. We are grateful for your guidance and your continued watch over us. Thank you for bringing a dear friend back into our lives. We have shared many memories and hope to create many more.”

Joe shot a brief glance up at Ms. Sullivan just in time to see her smile after hearing his father’s words.

“Guide us and watch over all in this house. We bless this food we are about to receive… Amen.”

All heads rose in unison. Ben picked up the main course of beef and handed the plate over to Adam. Adam went to pass the food to Joe so that he could offer it to Ms. Sullivan. At the moment of transfer, Joe used his elbow to knock his utensils onto the floor and with an overly polite, “Excuse me,” he dove under the table to retrieve them. Adam reached across Joe’s seat in the process and offered the meat to her.

“Thank you, Adam,” she simply stated, as she placed two pieces of meat on her plate. “My Ben, this meal is simply amazing. I did not expect such a feast.”

“Well, I am afraid it is my own selfishness that has produced it. I informed our cook, Hop Sing, that I was tired of hotel food and wanted a decent meal.”

Just then Joe’s head popped back up from under the table. Adam had quickly picked up on Joe’s antics and was waiting for him the second he positioned himself back into his seat.

“Would you hand these potatoes over to Ms. Sullivan, Joe?” He politely asked with a knowing smirk on his face. This riled Joe’s anger. He inadvertently clunked his utensils down on the table and flashed an angry glare at Adam. The noise made his father look up. Joe’s glare instantly dissipated when his eyes met a far more intense scowl coming from the end of the table. He grabbed the potatoes from Adam and set the dish down in front of Ms. Sullivan without saying a word.

Just as soon as that task was complete, Adam had another plate ready for him. “Don’t forget the vegetables, Joe.” This time Joe snatched them quickly out of his brother’s hand and held them out towards her without looking up.

“Thank you, Joseph,” She politely stated.

“Would you perhaps care for some bread as well?” Adam politely spoke up, reaching for the plate sitting between him and his father.

Ben’s hand met Adam’s in mid-reach. “I’m sure Ms. Sullivan will tell us if she would like anything else.” The statement was delivered in a tone that met the little game was over. Adam retracted his arm with a polite, “Yes, Pa.”

Hoss looked up from his food. His eyes scanned the table. Joe was pouting, His Pa’s face wore a furrowed brow and Adam’s face represented sheer annoyance of being scolded like a child. Ms. Sullivan seemed slightly uncomfortable sensing the tension that had developed around her. She nibbled at her food politely and remained silent.

“Ms. Sullivan, you haven’t told us about how you and Pa met.” Hoss looked over at her and smiled. “I heard Pa say you went to school together. Any good stories to tell?” The thirteen year old stifled a snicker at the sheer possibility of hearing something about his father’s youthful experiences.

Ms. Sullivan looked over at Hoss and smiled broadly. She knew what the boy was trying to do and at that moment learned a lot about his personality. He didn’t like conflict, something she herself always had difficulty handling.

“It is so nice of you to ask, Hoss. Your father and I grew up together living only a mile or so apart. We attended the same school with a small group of children. My father and mother were dear friends with your grandparents, so Ben and I found ourselves together on many occasions. We attended dances and socials and became good…uh…. FRIENDS.”

She paused to send a smile across the table.

Ben returned the kindness as their eyes reflected back on past memories.

“Mary and I thought we’d be FRIENDS for life, but sometimes fate intervenes. Mary’s father was tragically killed one summer and her mother was forced to sell their farm and move back with relatives. We tried to stay in touch over the years, but life sometimes causes people to unintentionally drift apart.”

“That it does, Ben… That it does. But it also has a way of bringing people together, too. If I hadn’t decided to stop and look at hats that morning, our paths would never have crossed.”

They both laughed aloud which caused three sets of eyes to look up in wonder.

“How true, Mary… How true. Well, here’s to the new memories.” Ben raised his glass and she mimicked his action; both taking a sip in unison before returning their attention to their meals. Hoss did the same; quite pleased with himself for setting things straight once again.

No one seemed to notice that Joseph and Adam were not equally pleased. Joseph hadn’t even touched a bite of his food as he sat there still pouting. Adam had not said anything but, if the truth were known, he had been just as eager for his father’s return as Joseph. Two months ago, he had decided to send an application into a college in Boston. During his father’s absence, Adam had received confirmation that he had been accepted for the fall term.

The only problem was that he had never spoken a word of this to his father. Well, actually he had tested the waters on many occasions, but Ben always seemed evasive about the issue. To be honest, Adam was receiving mixed messages. On one hand his father would seem supportive; “You have a right to live your own life, son, not the lives of others.” On the other hand his father would try to discourage his intentions; “I understand that this is important to you, Adam, but it is also important for you not to rush into anything at this time in your life. Why not wait a few years until you have a more clear idea of the direction you wish to take.”

Adam, at first, heeded his warning, especially after the death of Marie. He knew his father needed him on the ranch not only for his physical presence, but for emotional support as well. As time passed, Adam felt trapped. He loved his home and his family, but his desire for higher learning outweighed the love and comfort of the Ponderosa. When his father announced he would be leaving for a month long trip to San Francisco, Adam was angry. He secretly filled out the application that had been in his dresser drawer for months and sent it off in the mail without a word.

Adam’s mind had drifted away from the table. He was instantly brought back to the present at the sound of his father’s voice.

“Joseph, do we need to step outside and have a discussion about table etiquette?”

Joseph looked up stunned at the sound of his father’s voice. He had been so deep in thought that he did not realize he was kicking the leg of the table rhythmically. He instinctively responded with a

“No, sir.”

Then bowed his head and immediately began eating what was on his plate.

This time it was Adam who chose to be the mediator. “So, Pa. I’m glad you had a wonderful time in San Francisco. Perhaps you would like to hear what has transpired around the ranch while you were away?” Ben’s eyes softened as he turned them towards his eldest.

“Why, yes Adam. What have you three been up to since I’ve been gone?”

“I got a B on my last three math tests, Pa.” Hoss spoke out proudly. Then I got three C’s on my spelling. His lip proceeded to construe up into a pout. Ben reached over and tousled the boy’s hair.

“That’s better than three C’s and two D’s from last time, isn’t it?” Hoss simply nodded. “Well then that tells me you’ve been working hard at improving. That’s all a father can ask, Hoss.”

The boy smiled, and adding a simple “Thanks, Pa.”

Ben then turned his attention to Joe. “How about you son? How well have you been doing in school?” Joseph shrugged his shoulders and answered softly, “Okay, I guess.”

Adam piped up in his defense. “Just okay, Joe? I wouldn’t say getting an A on your history report something to shrug about.”

Joe just ignored his brother’s praise. “My son, that certainly is an improvement. I’m very proud of both of you.”

Ms. Sullivan decided to join in on the conversation. “What was your report about, Joseph?” Joseph almost cringed at her words. Now he would have to speak to her. “George Washington.” There he said it short and sweet.

“Well now, I do believe it is my turn, Pa.” Adam tried to sound as upbeat as possible. “Do you remember us discussing the possibility of me attending college?” Ben’s eyes opened wide at his son’s words. There was no way he could have anticipated this statement coming.

Adam nervously tugged at his ear before continuing. “Well, a couple of months ago I sent off an application to the college in Boston and I received word that I have been accepted for the fall term.”

There was a long moment of silence.

“I didn’t tell you about it, Pa because I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Oh, you surprised me, young man.” Ben was quick to spit the words out. Adam could tell his father was fighting back an internal explosion.

Ben’s face reddened as his body tensed. Try as he might, no words would come out. His lips opened and closed as if they were trying to speak, but not one sound made its way up his throat and out his mouth.

At that moment, Adam finished putting the dagger into Ben’s heart. “I’ve already written back and accepted.”

“Well, you just write back and un-accept, young man, until we have had a chance to discuss this further.”

Adam’s anger rose at these words. “Discuss it? It’s my life Pa… not yours… and I intend to do what I see fit with it.” Adam rose from the table and stormed out the front door.

Again a long moment of silence followed.

Joe looked over at Hoss. The two brothers were stunned by what had just transpired. They had just lost their mother less than a year ago and now their brother was leaving them, too.

“I don’t want him to leave, Pa,” Joe began to cry. “I don’t want him to leave.” Hoss’s eyes began to fill with tears as well.

Ms. Sullivan instinctively reached over to put her arm on Joe’s shoulder. This gave the seven year old all he needed to vent his frustrations.

“No! Don’t touch me. You’re not my mother and you never will be. Just go away. Leave. Leave us all alone. We don’t want you. We don’t need you. Please, just go away.”

Joseph sprung from the table and bounded up the stairs. Hoss instinctively followed leaving two rather stunned adults at the table.

 

Time stood still for what seemed like forever. It was Mary who first broke the silence.

“Are you all right, Ben?” she apprehensively asked.

Ben placed his elbows on the table and cupped his hands behind his head. There was a heavy intake of breath and then a dejected voice softly whispered, “I apologize for my actions, Mary… as well as the unacceptable rudeness of my sons. I can guarantee you will receive a full and sincere apology from them both come morning.”

“An apology is not necessary, Ben. I should have realized that your sons would be eager to see you after being gone so long and postponed my visit a month.”

Mary could tell that her words had fallen on deaf ears. Ben was brewing… brewing over Adam’s words more so than Joe’s. Suddenly Ben whacked the table with his fist causing Mary to jump slightly. “How can you reason with such a stubborn headed fool,” he muttered under his breath.

“To be honest with you, Ben, I often uttered the same phrase about a sandy-haired young boy that used to come courting.” Mary smiled, attempting to lighten the situation, but to no avail.

“I know it must be hard, Ben, to see your son as a man, but he is no longer a child. He wants to see the world and experience new things. He wants a life of his own….”

Ben instantly became defensive. He shot a piercing glare at Mary. “I’m not trying to stop him from living his own life.”

Mary raised one eyebrow in question while keeping her eyes locked on Ben. It didn’t take long for Ben to realize he was venting his anger at the wrong person. He lowered his head once more and softly stated, “I’m just trying to stop him from making some of the same mistakes I made.”

Mary smiled as she arose from her chair and walked over to Ben. She remained silent as she placed her hands upon his tense shoulders and began rubbing them tenderly. Several long moments passed in silence before Ben heard her soothing voice once more. “I bet if you thought about it, Ben. There wouldn’t be one mistake you made in your life that deep down you really didn’t regret making. Is it not true that with each mistake made a little wisdom is learned?”

Ben arose from the table and strolled across the room, stopping to pour himself a glass of brandy. He sipped it slowly as he pondered Mary’s words. After a long moment, he spoke once more. “His head is full of wild dreams. Dreams that in a few years time could be refined and more thought out.”

Ben sat down in a nearby chair, resting his elbows on his knees. Mary could tell the words just spoken were only presented to mask his true concerns.

Ben’s eyes began to water as he sat there reflecting. “I just don’t understand him, Mary. Adam acts like this ranch is the worst place on earth. Yet, out of all my sons I thought he’d be the one that held it most dear.”

Mary fought back the tears welling in her eyes as she felt the hurt pouring out of Ben’s heart. Then a thought came to mind.

“Ben. Has Adam ever said to you that he never plans to return here some day?”

“No, but…”

“Tell me what he has said,” Mary was quick to interrupt.

“Just that he wants to leave the Ponderosa and go away to college in Boston. He really hasn’t given me a real reason. He only mentioned it a few times, asking for my approval and I kept telling him that he should wait.”

Mary walked over to him once more; sitting herself down on the arm of the chair and gently placing an arm around his shoulders.

“Have you ever thought that maybe…just maybe Adam isn’t doing this all for himself?”

Ben looked up at her with a furrowed brow that indicated he needed more clarity. Mary arose and made her way to the fireplace. Gazing into the dying fire, she suddenly became hesitant. “Perhaps it isn’t my place to interfere, Ben.”

Ben arose from the chair and placed his arms on Mary’s shoulders. “He softly egged her to continue. “Go on.”

“Well, perhaps Adam feels by bettering himself he can then in turn better the Ponderosa.”

There was a long moment of silence as Ben digested Mary’s words. Could Adam be that astute?

“I know I don’t know Adam, Ben, but I do know his father quite well. Something inside tells me that he still has dreams for the Ponderosa. You yourself told me that he has worked side by side with you from the ground up. He knows what you have sacrificed and what this place means to his family.”

Ben gave her shoulders a squeeze as a silent thank you. “I shall talk with him in the morning…And now, on to the next issue at hand.”

Ben’s eyes followed the staircase upward.

“Please wait here, Mary. I am sure my son will have something to say to you very shortly.” Ben turned to head upstairs.

Mary called after him. “Please don’t be too harsh on him. He’s had a rather difficult day, wouldn’t you say?”

“There is one thing I am adamant about in this household. My sons have been taught the importance of treating adults with respect. I’m afraid Joseph has been disrespectful and will have to face the consequences of such behavior… unless he can prove his actions were warranted.” Ben then turned and made his way up the stairs.

 

Hoss sat down next to his little brother who was lying face down on his bed. He could hear his sobs being muffled beneath the pillow. He gently reached out and placed his hand upon his shoulder as a means of support. It was the only support he could give at that moment for he was hurting inside, too. A few moments passed. Then without warning, Joe turned his head and looked up at his brother.

“Why? Hoss. Why?” Joe uttered. Hoss hung his head and averted his eyes almost feeling guilty for not knowing the immediate answer to the question.

“I don’t know, Joe. But I do know Adam will explain it to us… in time.”

“He doesn’t care about us, Hoss. He just cares about himself.” Joe’s statement clearly expressed the anger and hurt he was feeling.

Hoss had seen his little brother react in the same way about other things before. He was always quick to anger and quick to judge.

“Now Joe, you know that’s not true. I admit he didn’t go about discussing it with us, but I’m sure he’ll set things right once he has had time to think about it. And you know Pa will talk with him, too. It’s not like he’s leaving tomorrow, you know… if at all.”

Joe knew that Hoss was always so hopeful and positive about things. In most cases his words were comforting; but at this moment in time, Joe just couldn’t see the positive in Adam leaving. He raised himself up and positioned himself into a sitting position next to his brother. “I don’t want him to leave, Hoss.”

Hoss placed his arm around Joe’s shoulders. “Me neither, Joe… me neither.”

Joe hung his head and fiddled with his fingers. Hoss could tell that his little brother had something else on his mind.

“What else is troubling you, Joe?” he softly asked. Joe’s body instantly tensed upon hearing those words.

Just then Ben Cartwright reached the half-opened door to his son’s room. He could hear Hoss speaking.

“Joe, come on. Tell me what else is bugging you. You know Pa will be up here any moment to find out the same thing… and I can guarantee you he ain’t going be too happy about what just happened downstairs.”

Joe quickly arose from the bed and walked over to his mother’s picture. He grabbed it and angrily held it out for his brother to see.

“He’s forgotten her, Hoss. He doesn’t love her anymore. It’s like she doesn’t exist. He never talks about her. He never takes me to her grave… and then he brings someone else home…” Joe was letting all the anger, fear, and frustration out.

“I hate him, Hoss. I hate him…Mama hates him, too.”

Without warning, Joe flung his mother’s picture suddenly to the floor with a loud crash. He instantly realized his error and flung himself to the floor amongst the broken glass. Hoss instinctively knelt down next to his brother who was trying frantically to pick up the broken shards with his bare hands.

“I’m sorry, mama. I’m sorry, mama. I’m sorry, mama…” Joe kept repeating.

Suddenly, Hoss felt someone grip his shoulders. He turned his head to see his father squatting down behind him. Ben silently motioned Hoss towards the door. Hoss quickly arose and departed, leaving father and son alone.

 

Ben Cartwright wasted no time in taking control of the situation. He picked up his distraught son and in one fell swoop placed him upon his bed.

“Let me go… Let me go!” Joe wailed as he tried to kick and squirm free from his father’s strong hold. “Let… Me… Go!”

“ENOUGH!” Ben’s voice boomed, but Joe paid him no mind. Ben shook his son’s shoulders slightly. “Joeseph. THAT is enough.”

The firmness of his father’s actions forced him to make eye contact. Ben stared down at his son trying to read his thoughts hidden behind a strong flowing stream of tears. After a moment, Joe closed his eyes tightly, as if to block his father’s entry, and began to sob uncontrollably. Ben felt his son’s resistance instantly melt like butter. He gathered the boy up and held him tightly to his chest. There the two remained huddled together, each gathering their thoughts.

Ben waited until Joe’s cries became soft whimpers before he slowly released his hold and assisted his head back onto the pillow. Joe simply turned his head towards the wall clearly avoiding all eye contact with his father. It was then that Ben noticed his son’s hands. Both were bleeding slightly from his run in with the broken glass.

“It looks like you may have cut yourself Joseph,” He said softly. Ben then arose from the bed and went over to the dresser. He picked up a wash towel and poured a small amount of water from the picture into the washbowl. He carefully submerged the towel and rung out the excessive water before returning to his son’s bedside.

“Now let me see you hands, Joseph.” Joe remained still, ignoring his father’s request. Ben heaved a huge sigh, trying to keep his anger and frustration from getting the better of him. He reached over and grabbed one of Joe’s hands, turning the palm upward. It had a few punctures and one slight cut on the pinkie. He placed the cool rag on the hand and began cleaning the wounds. Joe winced slightly from the pain, but his head remained towards the wall.

“You know, son. Hate is too great a burden to bear all on your own.” Ben’s words were delivered solemnly for it had pained him greatly to hear his youngest son use it in regards to him. Ben then turned his attention to the other hand. This one had just one deep cut in the soft flesh of the palm. He held the damp cloth tightly to it to help control the bleeding.

“Joseph, we have a lot to talk about, you and I.” Ben paused trying to find the right words to say. “Hatred usually stems from two things: fear and hurt. I should have realized the timing of my trip was a poor one, but you should have also come to me with your fears. You must realize that your mother’s death did not just affect you. We all loved her, Joseph in different ways. We all had to deal with her death in different ways, too.”

Joe remained still, but tears began to well in his eyes once more.
Ben lifted the now blood-stained cloth off his son’s palm. The bleeding had subsided.

“I loved your mother, Joseph just like I loved Elizabeth and Inger. I have not forgotten any of them, nor will I ever. Each holds a special place in my heart. I see them inside each of you every day. I feel their presence around us.”

Joseph folded his arms around his middle as his face construed up into a pout. Ben could tell that his words were not being accepted. The boy needed proof. Ben arose and placed the reddened cloth back into the washbasin. He turned towards his son with a huge sigh.

“Joseph, I can see your father’s words are not enough, so I will just have to prove it to you then. Come with me.”

Joe just repositioned his arms around his middle in a tighter fashion, but remained on his bed.

Ben’s anger was rising and he was losing patience with Joe’s deliberate defiance.

“Joseph, I want you to come with me now. I will not ask again. It would be in your bottoms best interest to comply and not test my patience any longer.”

With these words, Joseph begrudgingly arose from the bed. He kept his head down and his arms crossed against his chest. Ben opened the door and waited for him to walk through.

“Downstairs, Joseph.” Joe shot an angry glare up at his father before walking slowly towards the staircase. It was all Ben could do to keep his anger in control. Just as they passed Hoss’s room the door opened slightly. Hoss’s head peeked out from the darkness.

“Is everything okay, Pa,” he asked worriedly. “Yes, son. Joseph and I need to be alone for a while. Will you please ask Hop Sing to fix Ms. Sullivan some tea and take care of any of her needs while we are gone?”

Hoss simply answered, “Yes, Pa.” He then followed the two downstairs. Mary had been sitting in the chair by the fireplace reading. She looked up and watched the two silent figures make their way to the door. Hoss waited until the door closed before turning his attention back to their guest.

“Ms. Sullivan, Pa asked me to have Hop Sing make you some tea.”

Mary could see the look of worry written all over his face. “Did they say where they were going, Hoss?” Hoss just shook his head.

“Well, I would very much enjoy a cup of tea and some company while we wait for their return.”

“Yes Ma’am,” Hoss politely responded. “I’ll get it for you right away.” He then turned and disappeared into the kitchen.

Joe watched out of the corner of his eye as his father saddled his horse and gathered a lantern. Ben lifted the boy up on the saddle without saying a word. His eyes quickly surveyed the stalls. Adam’s horse was missing which told Ben his oldest son had probably gone into town. He walked his horse outside and quickly mounted. The two set off into the moonlit night.

 

Adam Cartwright sat at the lake’s edge deep in thought. He had been reviewing the scenario over and over in his mind for what seemed like hours. When he stormed out of the house, he was filled with anger and frustration. He quickly saddled his horse and headed off in no particular direction. At that moment he just wanted to keep going and never look back. There was just one thing that soon stopped him, however, and that was guilt.

It didn’t take him long to realize that he had perhaps been unfair by not choosing a more appropriate time to discuss this with his father and family; especially with a guest at the table. He soon slowed his horse to a casual walk and turned back towards the lake, taking a seat along the bank. There he sat, throwing rocks into the water and thinking about his future. Maybe he should follow his father’s advice and wait a few years. Maybe he should ignore his father and take advantage of the opportunity handed him. It was a tough decision for a nineteen year old to make all on his own. But the decision had been made by him and he felt in his heart it was time to leave the Ponderosa. He just had to convince his father that it was the right decision to make.

Adam arose and stretched. Then he walked over to his horse speaking to it as he gave it a friendly pat.

“Well, buddy. Do you think Pa’s cooled off enough that we can head on back? I bet you’d like some fresh hay and a warm barn over meadow grass and open sky tonight.”

Adam raised himself up into the saddle. He looked up into the night sky and said a silent prayer. He then kicked his horse and headed back to the Ponderosa.

 

Mary sat dozing with an open book by the fire. Her host had fallen asleep on the sofa across from her. She awoke at the sound of the door opening. Adam walked hesitantly towards her.

Mary could tell he was looking for his father. “He’s with Joseph. The two of them left about an hour ago.”

Adam looked at her with a puzzled look. “Where were they going?” He questioned, with a look of concern emanating from his face.

Mary bit her lip in hesitation. She already felt she had been far too outspoken. Yet, Adam deserved to know what had happened.

“I’m afraid Joseph was upset by your words, Adam.” She sheepishly answered.

Adam hung his head slightly. There was a long moment of silence.

He then looked directly at Mary. “Ms. Sullivan, I’m afraid I owe you an apology for my actions this evening. It was not the right time or place for such a discussion. My father has taught me better manners than I have displayed and I am truly ashamed for my behavior.”

Adam then extended his hand out towards her. Mary smiled and accepted his apology silently. She then glanced over at Hoss sleeping on the sofa.

“Your brother has been quite the gentleman in your absence. He served tea and cookies and chattered about anything that came to mind.”

Adam and Mary shared a small laugh.

“Well, at least one of us has demonstrated proper behavior this evening. Please excuse me for a moment as I assist this ‘gentleman’ to bed.”

Adam turned and walked over to Hoss who was sleeping soundly on his stomach. He had somehow developed his own routine over the years for arousing his brothers from a sound sleep.

Adam’s hand suddenly raised and came down hard on his brother’s bottom.

“Smack!”

The boy instantly shot up, grabbing at his backside. “Adam! Why’d ya go and do that for?” Hoss shouted out with fire in his eyes.

Mary raised her hand to her mouth trying to stifle a laugh.

“You’re gonna pay for that, Adam…” Hoss began to reach for his older brother but Adam was quick to speak “Hoss, have you forgotten about our guest?” He said in as pleasant of a voice as possible.

“Guest?” Hoss asked. Then his eyes fell on Ms. Sullivan sitting in the chair.

“Oh, our Guest. I’m sorry, ma’am. I must have fallen asleep. Can I get you more tea or cookies?”

Adam and Mary both snickered at his words. “No, Hoss. I thank you, but I’ve had my fill. I think it’s time that I headed off to bed. It has been a rather long day.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Hoss replied. “He then shot Adam a dirty look before turning his attention back to Ms. Sullivan. “I’ll escort you to your room.” He extended his arm out and Mary accepted.

Hoss looked disgustingly over at his brother. “I’m sure Adam will clean up the tray and wash any of the remaining dishes.”

The two walked over towards the stairs. “Oh Hoss, you are such a gentleman,” Mary stated as they started to ascend. She looked over her shoulder towards Adam and shot him a wink. “Goodnight, Adam.”

“Goodnight, Ms. Sullivan,” He simply replied. He then turned his attention to the assigned task at hand.

 

Ben Cartwright turned off the main road and headed up a narrow path. Father and son had not spoken a word to each other since they had left the ranch. The night was dark and Joe sat upright in the saddle attempting to get his bearings. It didn’t take long for him to realize where they were going. This path was not unfamiliar to him. It had been etched forever in his memory a little over a year ago.

Joe closed his eyes tightly for a moment. He suddenly found himself reliving the long walk he took upon this very path. He could sense the horse’s direction and knew of the exact location. The pain he felt in his heart was once again as real as it was that summer’s day.

Joe began to recall his emotions as he followed solemnly behind his mother’s casket; his father and older brother holding firmly to each hand. He once again envisioned all the people who stood, heads hung in prayer, as they passed. He remembered his mother’s casket being lowered into the ground and the moment of sheer fear as the first shovel of dirt fell upon it. Joe shuddered at hearing his own words once again in his mind. “Come back, mama, please don’t leave us. Please don’t leave us…come back.”
It was hot that day, but tonight Joe shivered from the cool night breeze. The air was still, and as the horse made a final turn and stepped up into a small clearing, Joe felt his heart begin to race. Why would his father bring him to his mother’s grave in the dark of the night?

Ben Cartwright quickly dismounted and helped his son to the ground. He carefully lit the lantern and grabbed Joe’s hand, sensing the boy’s fear. The two walked up to the grave side by side.
First, Joe witnessed the silhouette of the tombstone. A large wooden cross bearing her full name. Below her dates were carved the words: “Loving wife and mother.”

Joe looked down to see a fresh bouquet of flowers nestled at its base along with a few remnants of similar bouquets from days passed. He wondered for a moment who had brought them. Ben Cartwright waited patiently to allow his son to digest his surroundings. When he did finally speak, his voice was not the stern confident fatherly voice his son was use to hearing. It was at a much higher pitch and very weak and shaky.

“Joseph, I have not forgotten your mother. The flowers you see are from the visits I have taken here on many occasions. The latest bouquet you see came just this morning when I asked Adam to stop on our way back to the Ponderosa.”

Joseph looked up stunned at his father’s words. He could not believe that he would bring that woman up here to his mother’s grave. Ben sensed the boy’s unspoken thoughts. He set the lantern down and released Joseph’s hand. Then he bent down to upturn a large rock, resting next to the grave. Joe was surprised to see a considerable stack of writing paper hidden neatly underneath. Ben grabbed the stack and replaced the rock. He then led his son over towards a nearby tree motioning him to sit down. Joe complied and Ben positioned himself on the ground right next to him.

“These are letters that I have written to your mother every time I’ve come to visit her. I sit under this tree and reflect on the good times and all the memories we’ve had together.”

Joseph apprehensively eyed the letters in his father’s hand, but again said nothing.

“I would like to share some of these letters with you. Perhaps this will help you understand what I am trying to say better than my own words.”

Ben did not wait for a response from Joe. He looked down and picked out one of the older letters, opening it very gingerly as it was already becoming worn.

“My beloved Marie,
Today was our son’s 7th birthday. You would be amazed at how much he’s grown the past few months. Adam bought him a new book and Hoss made him a toy wagon to haul things around the ranch. Hop Sing created the most amazing chocolate cake with coconut sprinkled icing. Yes, I know Joe hates coconut, but he knew it was your favorite and insisted upon having it. You should have seen him trying to pick every bit of that coconut out of his mouth… one strand at a time. The whole time masking his displeasure through the biggest, broadest smile he could muster. It was so good to see him smile again, Marie. It was the same smile that often fell upon your face. A smile we all miss so dearly. Take care, my love.

Yours Truly,
Ben”

Joseph looked up at his father in surprise and shame. For the first time he could see the sadness in his eyes.

“Pa…” Joe meekly stated. “I’m… I’m…” Joe could not finish before burying his head into his father’s side. Ben instinctively wrapped his arm around the boy tightly as he fought back his own tears. He could hear his son’s muted words. “I miss her so much…. I just miss her so much.”

Ben gave his a boy a reassuring pat. “We all do, son.”

Ben then picked out a second letter. Joe realized it was the newest one written earlier that day. He watched his father unfold it just as carefully as he did the first.

“Marie my love,

I am so happy to be home again. I apologize for my long absence, but please note that I carry you in my heart wherever I roam. I met an old friend in San Francisco, Mary Sullivan. I must confess she was my first love at the tender age of ten. She knows more about my childhood and mischievous ways than anyone I’m afraid. I must admit that I am slightly concerned what stories our boys will be able to weasel out of her while she is here. In fact, I somehow feel that you had something to do with fate bringing us together. It seems far too uncommon for two people dealing with the loss of their spouse to stumble upon one another in a women’s hat store one morning.
But as you always use to say to me, ‘c’est la vie, my love, c’est la vie.’
Mary plans to stay with us a few months before heading back to live in the east with her daughter. Until then, I will enjoy her company and companionship and not dwell as to what happens next.

Yours Truly,

Ben”

Ben looked down at his son and could tell the anger inside him had dissipated. He was nestled inside the crook of his father’s strong arm contemplating his thoughts. There was a sense of peace in his expression.

“Pa?” Joe softly spoke. “Can I write letters to Ma, too?”

Ben smiled. “Anytime you would like, son…anytime at all. In fact, if you would like, we could write one together right now.”

Joseph instantly rose up and vigorously began shaking his head yes. Ben once again smiled down at him before grabbing a blank piece of paper from the pile. He handed Joe the writing paper and pencil. Then the two sat for over a half hour composing their joint correspondence. By the time it was finished, Joe was yawning quite profusely. They returned all the letters into their secret hiding spot and Ben helped his son up onto the horse. The two headed back to the Ponderosa using only the moonlight to help lead them home.

 

By the time the two reached home, the house was quiet. Ben noticed Adam’s horse in the barn as he was leading his own horse into the stall next to it. This brought much relief to a weary father. At least he would not have to worry of his son’s location tonight.

Ben pulled Joe down from the saddle and carried him into the house. The boy was fast asleep. He didn’t wake as his father removed only his shoes and tucked him into bed. Ben then leaned down and gave the boy a kiss on the forehead before walking down the hallway to his own room. It was early morning before his eyes finally closed for some much needed rest.

A few hours later, Ben awoke and readied himself for the day. He walked down to Joe’s room expecting to find the boy still asleep. He had unfinished business to discuss with him regarding his behavior at the dinner table. Instead, he found the room empty. Ben gave a puzzled look as he closed the door and headed down the hallway. As he approached the stairs he could hear muffled talking. He peeked around the corner to find Mary sitting on the sofa and Joe facing her with his back to him. His head was hung and his voice soft. Ben had to strain to hear what the boy was saying.

“Ah… Ms. Sullivan…. I want to apologize to you…for yesterday.”

Mary smiled at Joe. “Apologize, for what, Joseph? I’m sure you weren’t expecting anyone to come home with your father. If anyone should apologize, it should be me.”

Joe bit his lip for he knew that she had done nothing wrong. He also knew his father would not accept that as the way it should be. He nervously rocked on his feet for a moment and then tried once more to make things right.

“No …I was wrong to yell like that. Pa never let’s us speak like that to any guests in this house. No matter what the reason. I’m sure I’ll be punished for being rude, but I wanted to apologize myself and not have my father tell me to do so.”

Mary held her hand out and Joseph shyly took hold of it. “Apology accepted, Joseph. Your father will be proud that you did this on your own.”

Joe released her hand and solemnly added, “But I don’t think he’ll be proud enough to not help me remember not to do it again.”

Mary snickered as her eyes fell on Ben making his way down the staircase.

Ben winked at her as he approached. “Good morning, Joseph… Mary.”

Joe bowed his head and offered a soft, “Morning, Pa.” Mary simply nodded.

“Joseph has made a full apology to me, Ben,” she added. “You certainly have raised your sons right when it comes to the proper use of manners.”

Ben only smirked at her exaggerated complacency before turning his attention back to his awaiting son.
That was very commendable of you, Joseph. I’m glad to see you took responsibility for your own actions… But…”

“Oh no!” Joseph thought. He knew that when his father prefaced a sentence with ‘but’ it usually lead to only one outcome.

Ben paused to clear his throat.

“But… all actions have consequences. You do know you must be punished for your inexcusable behavior, don’t you?”

Joseph solemnly nodded as he fought back the tears starting to well in his eyes.

“Ben, I really don’t think that…” Mary’s words were cut off by Ben’s commanding voice.

“Joseph, you will spend the entire day with Ms. Sullivan and your brother, Hoss. It is up to you to demonstrate that you know how to treat her in the proper manner. You can show her around the Ponderosa and introduce her to the ranch hands. Perhaps Ms. Sullivan would like to go into town or view the lake. Whatever her needs or wishes, you are responsible for making sure they are met. Is that understood?”

Joseph did not know at first what to do or say. It was the first time in his life that he had ever received this sort of punishment from his father.

“Joseph, Is that understood?” This time Joe answered immediately with a “Yes, sir.” Ben nodded and then added, “Well, then. Shall we make our way to the table for some breakfast?”

Suddenly Joseph realized the humor in the situation. “Pa,” he turned towards his father to make full eye contact. “If Ms. Sullivan wants to visit the candy store or go swimming or even explore the woods looking for antlers, I HAVE to do it?” He playfully questioned.

Ben crossed his arms and looked wisely down at his youngest son. Mary stifled a laugh at the boy’s cleverness. After a moment he chuckled before stating, “If it is Ms. Sullivan’s wish then you must do as she requests. No questions asked. Just remember it is customary for the gentleman to buy the sweets for the sweet and not the other way around.”

Ben reached over and tousled his boy’s hair as the room filled with much needed laughter. He then playfully turned his son towards the direction of the table, giving him a light swat to get him headed in that direction. The three sat down at the table just as Hop Sing appeared from the kitchen with the first plate of food.

“Good morning, Ms. Sullivan. I will get tea,” he said with the polite grin on his face.

“Oh no, Hop Sing. No TEA … please no more TEA.” Mary realized her abruptness and quickly counteracted. “I’m afraid I drank at least 10 cups of it last night while waiting for your return, Ben.”

Ben laughed.

She then turned her attention to Hop Sing. “How about a nice glass of juice, Hop Sing?”

Hop Sing bowed politely and headed back into the kitchen all the while muttering to himself, “I make tea… no one wants tea. I don’t make tea everyone wants tea. Hop Sing not appreciated.”

“Oh dear, Ben. I hope I did not offend him,” Mary said in alarm.

Ben laughed once more and assured her that his cook would be back shortly with her juice and all would be forgotten.

 

It wasn’t long before Hoss bounded down the stairs to join them. “Morning, Pa… Morning, Joe.” He excitedly stated. He immediately took his seat and began to spread his napkin out onto his lap.

Then he realized that he had forgotten someone else at the table. “Good morning, Ms. Sullivan. I hope you slept well.”

Hoss looked up at Mary and smiled. He then immediately reached over to grab the stack of pancakes sitting before him. Mary watched as the boy piled not one, not two, but six pancakes onto his plate, being careful to leave one behind in case others wanted seconds.
Mary exchanged glances with Ben and then responded to Hoss’s greeting. “Good morning to you, too, Hoss,” She stated.

Then she carefully added, while trying to hide her amusement, “My, you must be famished this morning.”

By the time she finished her statement the boy had already piled butter and syrup on top of the stack and was three bites into his feast. He swallowed what was in his mouth and then replied. “Well, ma’am, I’m not too good with big words, but if you’re askin’ if I’m hungry, then you guessed right.” This brought a wave of laughter and produced the right mood for Adam to make his entrance.

All eyes followed him to the table as he quietly took his seat and greeted everyone with a simple, “Good morning.” The lightheartedness, however, immediately dissipated as the room filled with an awkward quietness.

Adam made sure to keep his eyes from falling upon his father’s. He grabbed for the last pancake and placed in on his plate. “I hope you will again forgive me for my actions yesterday, Ms. Sullivan.”

This was Adam’s way of letting his father know he had already apologized to their guest. Mary realized right away the point of Adam’s comment. “Adam, as I said to you last night, all is forgiven.”

She then looked over at Ben with a pleading smile. He opened his mouth to make comment and then decided to bring the coffee cup up to his lips instead. He needed a few more moments to think before speaking.

After a few minutes, Ben took the situation in hand. “Adam, I have asked Joe and Hoss to show Ms. Sullivan around the Ponderosa today. I would like you to stay home and help me with the books this morning.”

Adam almost smirked at this comment because he knew the books were down twice a month on set days. The next scheduled day was over 5 days away. It angered him to see his father once again avoiding the issue by being evasive.

Adam looked up at his father rather brazen. “Is it already time for them again, Pa? It seems like we were just doing them a few days ago.

Ben shot his son a cold stare as he tried to fight back the building anger inside. “All right, Adam. Since you seem to insist on being blatantly honest around our guest I shall do the same. You and I need to talk son. Period. Like it or not, we need to talk. I would prefer to do it alone, but if you would much rather have an audience to feed off of…”

“No, Pa.”

Adam was quick to cut his father’s words off. He knew he was walking a thin line and he didn’t want to have it end the same way it did the night before. “I think it would be better to discuss it alone, sir.” He bowed his head and returned to his meal.

Ben eyed his son for a long moment and then put an end to the conversation “Very well, then. Shall we finish our breakfast?”

All returned to their meals. Ben managed to take another swig of his coffee before losing himself deep in thought. Mary looked up and noticed Ben was not eating. She gently reached over and laid her hand on Ben’s forearm giving it a slight squeeze. Her touch awakened him. He glanced over at her and tried to smile. She could see the sadness building in his eyes and feel the apprehension exuding forth from them.

She quickly glanced over at the other end of the table and found the mood there similar. Suddenly she remembered something her father used to tell her and her sister when they were arguing. Mary set her cup down and cleared her throat.

“Joseph and Hoss, I do believe it is time for you to escort me around on this fine day. Would you two mind getting the buggy ready while I gather a few belongings to take with me?”

Hoss was quick to catch on and jumped to his feet. “Certainly, Ms. Sullivan.” He then turned towards Joe. “C’mon Joe, we need to ready the horses.” Joe started to complain, “I’m not done with my… OW!” His words were cut off by his brother Adam’s swift kick into his shin.

Hoss followed up with a more firm command. “I said, C’mon Joe… now.” Hoss turned and headed for the door with Joe limping out behind him.

Mary then arose from the table. “Ben…Adam. I have just one thing to say and then I will make my own meddling self scarce for the day. Remember that when two people have a discussion they are exchanging knowledge. When two people have an argument they are exchanging ignorance. I wish you a successful discussion today gentlemen.” She then headed for the door, grabbing her coat off the hook as she exited.

 

The two figures at the table sat quietly for a few moments before Ben suddenly arose and motioned Adam over to the seating area in front of the fireplace. Adam complied by sitting himself down in one of the chairs. He rested his forearms on his knees and clasped his hands together. Ben leaned against the fireplace mantel, folding his arms across his chest. Both pondered in silence, trying to figure out how to start their conversation. It was Adam who first spoke.

“Pa, I do owe you an apology. I should not have been so outspoken at the table.”

Ben nodded. “Yes, I would say your timing was not in the least bit thought out. Then again, when someone has such news to share it is easy to forget ones manners.”

Ben suddenly moved to a nearby chair across from Adam. He sat down, crossing his legs and folding his arms on his lap. He studied his son reflectively, inwardly reminding himself that across from him was a young man, not a boy.

“Adam. I’ve had some time to think on this issue. I would like to share with you a story from my past.”

Adam looked up at his father and smirked. He knew how Ben’s stories influenced his thinking. All through his life he had listened to them time and time again. They always had a moral or a lesson behind them related to the present issue at hand. In all cases, his father would provide good sound advice through his story telling, but not this time. Adam was determined to stand his ground and not budge from his current position.

“I’ll listen, but it will not change my plans.” He coldly stated.

Ben felt his anger rising. He was trying to meet the boy half way and Adam was already trying to slam the door closed.
“I’m not trying to change your thinking, young man…” Ben started

“Then what? What is the purpose? Why don’t you just say it.” Adam spit the words out towards his father. “You don’t want to see me leave. You want me here on the Ponderosa forever to help with whatever you deem necessary.”

Ben’s face turned red as he pierced his lips together in frustration. “Well as long as we’re at it, then. Why don’t you spend time analyzing yourself, Adam? Then you’d discover the real problem… your own apprehension and guilt. You keep saying you want to leave and I certainly don’t see anyone standing in the way of that door.”

Adam arose from the chair and headed that direction. Ben, realizing his anger got the best of him, quickly cut off his path. Adam tried to step around but Ben grabbed firmly hold of his forearm.

The two locked eyes.

Ben’s voice was low and shaky. “Adam, we are not accomplishing anything this way.”

He then let go of his son’s arm and turned away. Ben stoically stood there with his eyes focused on the wall. “That door has always been open for you to come and go as you please. It is open for you right now and it will always remain open thereafter…regardless of any choices you choose to make in life. That door will never close.”

Ben then turned back towards his son with sadness in his eyes. “I don’t know about you, but I would much rather see you leave graciously with a proper goodbye than to watch you storm out that door like a warrior just to convince yourself that your way was right. We are both not being truly honest with one another, Adam. I would like to tell you my reasons for my actions and then I would like to hear yours. The choice is up to you.”

Ben then returned to his initial chair and waited. After a long moment, Adam turned around and took his seat once more. Ben exhaled a sigh of relief and started his story.

“The reason I have not told you much about your grandfather, my father, is that our relationship was one of much discord. He was a kind man in many ways, but also a very stern disciplinarian. By the time I was 16 years old, I wanted to break away from his control. I was tired of being told when to get up and when to eat. I was tired of the same old daily routine. I had read in books about sailors and the sea and found it fascinating. I built my dreams around one day being captain of my own ship and sailing freely around the world.”

Ben paused to reflect.

“Well, one day I just left. I walked right out the door and made my way down to the docks. An old man saw a young foolish kid and took advantage of the situation. He used me as a slave. I cooked, cleaned and did all the most disgusting jobs. They fed me on the bare minimum and locked me below when other boats came near. This was my life for over a year.”

Adam had been listening intently. “How did you get away?” he questioned.

“Well, I have your grandfather Stoddard to thank for that. His ship stumbled upon our boat one day and he actually made trade for me. I believe it was a crate a whiskey and a box of cigars.” Ben laughed at the thought.

“I figured I was moving to a different ship and my horrible life would just continue in new surroundings. Your grandfather instead took me under his wing and taught me everything there was to know about the sea. He taught me self worth and the importance of pride and good judgment. I learned from my mistakes and became a better man for it, but I have always regretted one thing, Adam. I should have waited until I was truly ready for those challenges.”

Adam hung his head and Ben could tell his son did not know what to say.

“So you see I’m not trying to stop you, Adam. What I’m trying to do is make you think before you act. If it is truly your dream and what you want out of life, then you can count on my blessings and support. To be honest, that is why I feel your battle is not with me, but with your own apprehension…and guilt.”

Adam had been silent for quite some time. His mind was racing with all that had been told.

“I guess it’s my turn now,” he softly said. Then he took a long pause before continuing. “I am scared, Pa. I admit it. I don’t mean to sound like this place is the worse place on earth. This is my home and it will always be home. I just need a change. I want to explore and see what’s past those fence posts. I want to study about far away lands and science. I want to live my dreams and then…”

Adam stopped mid sentence. He rose from his chair and walked over to the large map by his father’s desk. He stood staring at it without saying a word. His father quietly approached from behind and placed his arm around his shoulder.

“Let’s leave it at that for now, Adam. Shall we?”

Adam glanced over at his father with understanding.

Ben gave Adam a sturdy pat on the back. “I will write to your grandfather Stoddard immediately and tell him of the good news. I’m sure he will be more than happy to provide a roof over your head… that is if you so please. Once Ms. Sullivan has left, we’ll sit down as a family and break the news to your brothers. It won’t be easy, but we’ve survived far worse things in our lives, haven’t we?”

Adam felt a sense of relief come over him as he softly stated, “Thanks, Pa.”.

Ben simply smiled at his son. “No. Thank you, Adam. I want you to know that I am very proud to call you my son.”

 

Ben and Adam were having an afternoon snack at the table when Ms. Sullivan and the boys returned home. They came bursting into the house laughing heartedly. “And then… and then your father turned around to find old Mr. Bumble standing behind him.” This brought another wave of laughter from all three of them.

“So what happened next?” Hoss eagerly asked. “Well… Let’s just say that your father was whisked out the schoolhouse door by his ear and returned a few moments later in a much more humbled frame of mind.” Mary glanced over at the table still snickering.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen,” she said in greeting. “I hope your day was as enjoyable as ours.”

Ben arose and walked over to help Mary take off her coat. “What’s this about old Mr. Bumble?” he questioned giving her the knowing eye. “You’re not filling these boy’s heads with tall tales are you, Ms. Sullivan?” Ben paused to hang her coat on the hook by the door. He turned towards her and waggled his finger as a playful warning. “Just remember I have some tall tales of my own madam.” The two smiled.

Suddenly, Little Joe walked over to his father with a very serious look on his face. “Pa, I need to tell you about something.” He then motioned for his father to lean down to his level. Joe cupped his hand up to his father’s ear and whispered to him softly. Ben listened intently. When the boy was done he repositioned himself into an upright position, folding his arms and looking ominously down on his young son. “Oh, I see. What do you think we should do about this, Joseph?” The room became suddenly still as everyone wondered what had happened. Adam shot Hoss a questioning look and he just shrugged his shoulders without a clue.

Joe hung his head and reached into his pocket, producing a full bag of mixed candies. He held it out to his father in shame. “I already ate four pieces.” He stated. Ben gingerly took the bag from his son’s hand and raised his other hand to his chin in thought.

Mary suddenly realized what had happened. “I didn’t mean to get the boys in trouble. They were such gracious hosts that I merely wanted to thank them.”

Hoss suddenly hung his head, too. “I can’t give mine back, Pa. I already ate all of it on the way home.”

Ben smirked. “It’s not the question of the candy, Ms. Sullivan. It’s the question of who bought it that’s bothering Joseph. You see around this household we take a punishment quite seriously and Joseph feels he didn’t live up to his end of the bargain.”

Ben winked at Mary to let her know it wasn’t as serious as he was making it out to be.

“But then again, I forgot to give you any money to treat Ms. Sullivan, Joseph. And… considering that was my error, not yours I don’t see any harm in you accepting Ms. Sullivan’s kindness. This time.”

Joe looked up at his father with a smile of relief, but Ben was quick to continue.

“That is, of course, if you will allow your father the opportunity to partake in her kindness as well?” Joe simply nodded.

Ben then reached into Joseph’s bag and popped four pieces of candy all at once into his mouth. This made his cheeks puff out on both sides and Ben deliberately forced them out more for overemphasis. The room erupted into laughter.

At that moment, there was a sense of peace and joy in the house once again. This was something that had been missing in all their lives for quite some time.

But, as with anything that perseveres: “When the world says, ‘Give up,’ Hope whispers, ‘Try it one more time.’” To the Cartwrights, Ms. Mary Sullivan was that hope.

*** Quote is by unknown author.