“A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted…” – The Holy Bible

Chapter One

Ben Cartwright walked down the stairs and made his way to the breakfast table where all of his sons were waiting for him.  He took his place at the head of the table, looking around at all the faces present.  “This is a pleasant surprise,” he remarked, following with a bowed head and grace.

“What’s surprising?” asked Adam, sitting across from his father at the other end of the table.

Ben looked up from his coffee cup as he was taking a sip, and answered as he sat the cup in its accompanying saucer.  “Not that you’re part of the surprise, Adam, but your brothers here aren’t very punctual when it comes to breakfast.  It’s nice to see everyone on time for a change.” As he prepared his plate, he continued, “Shiloh Whitney is coming home today on the stagecoach.  Adam is as involved with the Flying W business as I am, and he’s kept up with what she’s been doing through their mutual friend, Mr. Booth, so he’ll be going with me to meet her.”

“It’s a shame she had to come home under these circumstances,” said Joe.

Ben moved his eggs around on his plate. “Unfortunately, when you live that far away, it’s hard to get back when things turn bad.   She just didn’t have enough time to get here before her father passed.”  He raised his head looking at nothing in particular.  “Amos sure was proud of her.  I just hope he was able to tell her.”

“He had reason to be,” said Joe.  She’s one of very few girls from Virginia City to go to college and on top of that, she’s made the newspaper. I would never have thought that she’d be a singer, though.”

“I don’t know why you’d think that, Joe,” said Hoss in between bites of bacon. “She always had a pretty voice.  Don’t you remember her singin’ in church?”

“Yeah, I remember. But a singer on stage…that’s different than singing in church.”

“What do you mean by that?” asked Adam defensively.

“Well, Adam, you know singers. They’re not…well, they’re…”  Joe saw the look on Adam’s face and decided not to finish. He smiled nervously and moved his attention back to his eggs.

Adam scowled, pointing his fork at Joe like he was ready to spear him.  “She has been scrutinized by a public that can be very gracious or very judgmental, and she’s managed to stay on the gracious side. She’s seen as a charming, polite, talented young woman, and there’s no reason to think anything less of her.  Edwin Booth would never have allowed her to be seen distastefully.”

“Boys, Shiloh’s reputation is not up for debate,” said Ben.

“Alright, forget her reputation for a minute.  What about her temper?” asked Joe.

Adam rolled his eyes.  “I can remember a time or two when you deserved a good tongue-lashing from her.”

“Well, I remember when she lit into you a couple of times, too.”

“She didn’t light into me.  We both had strong opposing opinions,” he said, glaring at Joe, who snickered.  “And those kinds of discussions taught her how to think critically.”

“That’s enough…both of you,” ordered Ben.  “Shiloh will be here this evening, and you will all behave as gentlemen.”

Ben and Adam arrived in town just as the stagecoach pulled to a stop.  They waited on the boardwalk while the stage office clerk placed the step underneath the stagecoach door.  A gentleman emerged from the coach first, turning and extending a hand to a woman, helping her out and down.

“Miss Whitney, it has been a great pleasure travelling with you.  I’ve enjoyed our conversation.”

“Mr. Miller, the pleasure has been mine.”

Mr. Miller took Shiloh’s gloved hand and bowed.  “I bid you farewell.”

Shiloh turned to see Ben standing in front of her.   “Mr. Cartwright, it’s so good to see you.”  Ben bent to hug her, and she tiptoed into the warm, comforting embrace she remembered, thinking once again after so many years how alike Ben and her father were.

“My goodness, you’ve changed quite a bit from the sixteen year old we said goodbye to.  It doesn’t seem that long ago.”

Adam stepped up beside them and removed his hat.  “Edwin warned us that we might not recognize you.  It’s good to have you back,” he said, smiling. Shiloh responded with only a polite nod.

Adam studied her. She had grown just a little taller and was still slender, but had filled out in all those places that women do.  Her face was less plump, having lost its baby fat, and though she wasn’t the most beautiful woman Adam had ever seen, she had become quite handsome, her carriage elegant and graceful, making the whole vision of her one that could easily turn heads.  The one difference that struck him most was her ability to look him, almost fiercely, in the eye.

Ben took her hand and escorted her onto the boardwalk where her bags were being lowered from the stagecoach.  While Adam loaded them onto the back of the buggy, Ben helped her up into the seat.  “I thought you might enjoy dinner tonight at the Ponderosa, and perhaps, stay the night.  That way, you can be rested from your trip before you go back to the ranch.”

“Mr. Cartwright, that’s very kind of you.   I remember Hop Sing’s cooking as being the best around…and very comforting.  Is the Sierra as breathtaking as I remember, or is that just an embellished memory?”

“Oh no.  I’m sure home will prove to be just as beautiful as you remember it,” answered Ben, smiling.

Adam had finished loading her bags and trunk, and climbed into the back seat.  Ben reined the horses in the direction of the Ponderosa, and they were on their way with Shiloh looking all around her, taking in the beauty, the smells and the ruggedness of the Sierra she had remained homesick for during her seven years away.

<b>Chapter Two</b>

When Shiloh and the Cartwrights arrived at the Ponderosa, they were greeted by Hoss and Joe, who had just come out of the barn after bedding down their horses.   Shiloh stood, and when Hoss took her by the waist to help her down, she felt like she was floating as if she were as light as a feather, rather than slowly dropping to the ground. Hoss removed his hat and lowered his eyes.  “Miss Shiloh, it sure is good to have you home.”

“Hoss, I didn’t think it possible, but you’ve gotten…taller.”  She quickly looked back at Adam who was busy untying her bags on the back of the buggy.  “You’ve actually outgrown your older brother.”

Hoss blushed, smiled and nodded.  “Yes Ma’am.  I reckon so.”

Joe took her hand, bringing it up to his lips.  “Miss Shiloh, welcome home,” he said, looking into her eyes then kissing her hand.

Shiloh raised her other hand to her mouth to cover a quiet laugh.  “I’m sorry, Joe.   It’s just that . . . well, you were only thirteen when I left.   It’s just quite different to see the charming young man you’ve become.”  Her eyes were laughing.  “And handsome, too.”

“Thank you, Ma’am . . . I think,” he said, smiling impishly.

“Don’t you go Ma’aming me,” she said, swinging around to glance at Hoss.  “Either one of you.   I’m not of an age that I need or want to be Ma’am’d,” she said, winking quickly at Joe.

While the boys took her bags and trunk to her room, Ben guided her to the great room, motioning for her to be seated.  “Would you like something to drink, maybe some coffee?” he offered.

“Mr. Cartwright, I remember how refreshing your spring water tasted, if that wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

“No trouble at all.”  Hop Sing had already come into the room with the coffee service and a pitcher of water.  He had a knack for being right there at the moment he was needed, as if he could smell a request come wafting into his kitchen.  “Thank you, Hop Sing,” said Ben while Hop Sing placed the tray on the big table in the center of the room.

Before he left, he turned.  “Missy Shiloh, it good to have you home again.”

“Thank you, Hop Sing.  “It’s good to be home.”

“Well young lady, how was the trip?” asked Ben, crossing his legs, settling into his leather chair with his cup of coffee.

Shiloh leaned back contentedly on the settee.  “It was probably longer than it needed to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s the circumstance that brought me home, but mostly because the coach is not especially comfortable for me.   I have a slight problem in confined spaces, and unless I can sit on the side instead of the middle, I’m afraid I get a bit tense.”

“Oh?”

“I never realized I had that problem until I had to ride for a while in a stagecoach.   I’ve never been in a confined space that small anywhere else.”   She sipped her water and returned the glass to the table.  “I have the same problem in tight crowds, but it’s tolerable for the most part.”

As she was speaking, Adam came down the stairs, making his way to the leather chair next to the fireplace.  He was content to sit and listen for a while.

“Mr. Cartwright, would you tell me about Daddy?  He never mentioned in any of his letters that he was ill.  I had no idea until I received your telegram.”

Ben sat his cup in the saucer he steadied in his lap with his other hand.  “He hid it well.  He had a cough for a while, but he said he had seen Dr. Martin and dismissed it.  By the time we realized it was more than a cough, he was already bedridden and weak.  He didn’t last much longer.”   He paused as he watched the blue of her eyes slowly begin to stand out prominently against the red that was taking over.  She sniffled, took a deep breath and seemed to regain her composure.  “We had the service on the hill.  He’s buried next to your mother.”

“Thank you, Mr. Cartwright.”

“Shiloh, your father left a letter for you, and there’s some other business we need to discuss,” said Adam quietly. “We can talk about everything later.  Perhaps, you’d like to rest.”

“Yes, that would be nice,” she answered quickly, fighting a need for tears.  Crying in front of Ben, the closest thing she had to a father now, was one thing, but showing any weakness in front of Adam would be unconscionable.  She already knew, based on how much her father admired him by how he spoke of him in his letters, that any hopes she had of being left alone to run the ranch depended on what Adam Cartwright felt she could handle.

After she rose and excused herself, Adam showed her to her room, opening her door and closing it behind her after she afforded him a slight smile.  He stood outside her door, listening for the sobs he expected would break out, but after hearing nothing for a long moment, he turned and left.

<b>Chapter Three</b>

Ben gently rapped on Shiloh’s bedroom door.   She opened it only enough to show her face and just a little of the robe she was wearing.  “How was your rest?” he asked.

“I must have really needed it.  I only woke up just before you knocked.”

“I wanted to give you time to dress.  Dinner will be ready within the hour.”

She smiled.  “Thank you, Mr. Cartwright.  I’ll be down soon.”

When Shiloh appeared at the top of the stairs, all the Cartwrights had gathered in the great room waiting for Hop Sing to call them to dinner.  They all stood as she descended the stairs looking rested and relaxed in a softly colored skirt and blouse, quite a departure from the dark traveling clothes she wore when she arrived.  Instead of being swept severely up beneath a black hat, her auburn hair was pulled back in a long pony tail that curled gracefully down her back, making her look younger; more like the twenty-three years she actually was than the older woman she first appeared.

By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, Hop Sing emerged from the kitchen and announced that dinner was ready.  Adam walked forward and offered his arm to her.   She hesitated only for a moment then accepted with a pinched smile.  He led her to the seat at the dining room table to Ben’s right then took the seat next to her.  After grace was said and the food was served, Ben asked if she had still been taking instruction before she left Boston.

“My studies were extended because of my time at the Peabody Institute.  I spent my first two years in New York at Vassar College, then two years at Peabody in Baltimore.  After that, I went back to New York to finish my academic studies.  Since then, I’ve been in Boston studying at the Boston Academy of Music.”

“Your father mentioned that you would be attending Peabody,” said Adam.  “I thought Vassar had a music curriculum.”

“They do, but Miss Anderson, the headmistress at Vassar, along with input from Edwin…oh, my apologies,” she said, looking at Joe and Hoss seated across the table, “Mr. Booth thought I would benefit more from the instruction at Peabody.  I was able to work with some established singers, musicians and conductors who contribute their time there.  For the last year, I’ve continued instruction in Boston because Mr. Booth invited me to perform with his company there to have some experience on stage.”

“That seems to have been a good choice.  Our newspaper here has published several articles about your performances,” said Ben.   “You’ve certainly become known as a promising singer.”

Shiloh blushed.  “Well, even so, I don’t think I will be pursuing that any longer.  I’ve been invited to go to Europe, and if Daddy were still with us, I might have.” She held her napkin to her lips before she continued.  “I asked Daddy not to tell anyone about my singing.  I really don’t want anyone here in Virginia City to know.  The reason I wanted to go to college was to learn to run a successful business, that being the ranch.”  Adam took a quick, tentative glance at his father.  “It was quite nice of Adam to arrange college for me, and I owe you a debt of gratitude,” she said, turning to him.

He smiled somewhat, concerned about the rest of the conversation they would have to have regarding the ranch.  “You did the work.  I only sent a few telegrams.   But, why wouldn’t you want anyone to know about your singing?”

She put her fork down on her plate, leaned back and bowed her head.  “Adam, you know as well as I do that a certain reputation follows a singer around.  That may occur less now that America has discovered opera, but it is, nevertheless, a concern of mine.  I already have a bit of a reputation here from my school days, and I just don’t want to add anything to it.”

Adam hesitated, wanting to pursue that topic, but decided it should wait.  “Well, though Isabella Whitney has been mentioned in the newspapers, I don’t think anyone has associated her with you.  So, for the time being, I think you’re safe,” he said, smiling, but taking particular notice of her eyes.  He saw pronounced relief.  “What other academic subjects were you able to take?”

“Vassar is a progressive school, and I was able to take courses that normally wouldn’t have been offered to a woman; higher mathematics, geology, astronomy.  There were others that weren’t offered as part of the regular curriculum, but Headmistress Anderson was able to find tutors for those subjects I wanted to take.  I was also introduced to Lucy Stone and Susan Anthony.  I attended many of their lectures,” she said, watching for their reactions.

Ben looked up from his dinner and shot a quick look toward Adam, who sat up straight and returned his father’s surprised glance.

“What extra courses did you take,” repeated Adam.

“Business courses.  Oh, and extra music courses.   I had no problem with anything but the math, at first.”

Adam turned in his seat to face her. “Why is that?” he asked tersely.

She took a slow, deep breath, put her fork down and clenched her hands briefly, then forced a smile.  “You already know I remember what I read, so literature, science, philosophy, all those courses that involved the written word was fairly easy for me.  Math however, was another story.  I remembered all the formulas, but each problem was different because the numbers were different, and I struggled with that at first.  At least until I realized I didn’t need to know anymore than basic math, along with the formulas, in order to do the most complex of problems.”

“I don’t get it,” said Joe.  I know basic math, and I can’t do what Adam does.”

“That’s because you don’t know the formulas to which you would apply the basic math,” said Shiloh.  “You see, my problem is that I learn from memorization…I remember what I read.  But, in math, I couldn’t use memorization because every math problem was different.   I just had to learn it in a different way than I was accustomed.”  She looked at Adam shamefully.  “I’m afraid I avoided the math books you brought to the house after I left school because of that.”

Adam chuckled.  “So that’s why you changed the subject every time I asked about math.”

During their conversation, Hop Sing had cleared the dinner plates and served dessert.  “Missy Shiloh, I make just for you; your mama’s recipe,” said Hop Sing, grinning from ear to ear.

She looked down at the bowl sitting in front of her and drew in a breath, opening her mouth wide into a delighted smile; a smile that caused everyone at the table to grin.  “Hop Sing!  You made me a blackberry cobbler.  Thank you.”   Hop Sing watched her take her first bite, and after seeing her close her eyes and savor it, he bowed as he backed away, disappearing around the corner.

After dessert, Hoss and Joe excused themselves.  Ben invited Shiloh to have coffee with him in the great room, and Adam followed them there.  As Ben settled into his chair, he asked, “Shiloh, is the ranch the only reason you decided against going to Europe?”

She took a sip of her coffee.  “It was the bigger part of my decision, but no, I have other reasons.”

“Edwin said you’d do well in Europe, and that you could complete your voice training there.”  Adam leaned forward with his elbows on his thighs, resting his chin on his clasped hands.

Shiloh breathed deeply, keeping her speech calm and even as she did in any uncomfortable conversation.  “Despite the fact that I’m a soprano and my style is operatic, I don’t really want to do opera.  I’m not an actress, and you have to do both for opera. So, I don’t see a need to go to Europe.”  She looked at Adam.  “Though Edwin disagrees with me.”   She noticed that Adam had that expression he got when he wasn’t looking forward to something.  She looked back at Ben, who was staring into his coffee cup.  “I’ve known both of you all my life, and I know those looks.  What is it you don’t want to talk about? Is something wrong with the ranch?”

Ben leaned up and reached out to place his coffee cup and saucer on the coffee table then sat back in his chair.  “No, there’s nothing wrong.  Your father just thought you might want to sell the ranch and stay in Boston.”

“The Flying W has been my home all my life.  Daddy, Mama and Micah all put their hard work and sweat into that ranch.  I can’t just sell it.  I won’t.”

Adam took a deep breath and lowered his head, looking up at her.  “Shiloh, running a ranch is hard enough, but for a young woman…well, it’s harder.”

She glowered at him.  “I’ll manage fine, Adam.”

Adam sat up and looked straight at her.  “I don’t think you know what goes into running a ranch.”

“I know perfectly well what goes into running a ranch,” she spat.

Ben straightened up in his chair.  “Alright.  Stop right there, you two.  This isn’t going to turn into a quarrel.”

They both deflated and sat back in their seats, Shiloh crossing her arms.  Adam cocked his head recognizing her defensive posture.  “I didn’t mean anything by it, I just…well, I’m just a little concerned about you being there by yourself trying to run the ranch, that’s all.”

“Isn’t Hank still there?”

“Yes, Hank’s still the foreman.”

“Well then, don’t be concerned.  My father taught me how to do the books and payroll.  He taught me all about the schedules.  He taught me everything; even how to train the horses.  And he had several years to do it after I was kicked…“ she stopped herself and exhaled, “after I left school.”  She rubbed her forehead.  “I’m sorry, Adam.  I know you didn’t kick me out of school.”   She clasped her hands and looked away.  “If Hank is there directing the work, I shouldn’t have a problem.”

Everyone sat silently for a moment waiting for the heaviness in the air to clear.

“We still have some ranch business to discuss, but why don’t we wait until tomorrow?  Adam and I will take you over to the ranch and make sure you get settled in,” said Ben.

She smiled at Ben, apologizing and thanking him with her eyes.  “If you don’t mind, I’d like to take a walk before I retire for the evening,” she said.

Ben stood and took her hands as she rose from the settee.  “Don’t go far,” he said.

Shiloh saw the same tenderness she used to see in her father’s eyes, making the need to escape even more urgent.  “I really just want to get some air.  I’ll be right outside.”  She turned and walked out to the porch.

Ben turned to Adam, who was now standing.  “Pa, this isn’t gonna be easy.”    Ben nodded, but said nothing.

<b>Chapter Four</b>

Shiloh walked around the corner of the house where she remembered there had been a bench among the roses that Marie Cartwright had planted.  She found it and sat down.  Thinking of Marie reminded her of her own mother, Belle, who died only a short time before Marie’s fatal accident.  It wasn’t long after that Micah had been killed.  And soon after that, at the age of twelve, her father had taken her out of school at the request of the substitute teacher, Adam.   That had been a hard year, made even worse by the misunderstanding of the reason she left school that turned her into a pariah in Virginia City.  Adam found out about the untruth that had spread all over town and tried to right the wrong.  Still, she never felt welcome in Virginia City, by the adults or the children, so she stayed on the ranch reading the books that Adam brought by to ‘move forward’ as he had put it, and taking an interest in what her father did, especially in his horses.  Most evenings were spent at her mother’s piano playing and singing, while her father sat in the parlor listening.  Sometimes she would turn, ever so slightly, to look at him.  He wept.  He wept because the music reminded him of Belle.

The sound of an owl brought her back from her memories, and she took in a deep breath of the smell of the Sierra, a scent she had sorely missed, of pine, vanilla and the earthy scents of nature growing in the fertile soil.  Even the odor of the distant livestock was comforting.  It was remarkably refreshing air and felt cool as it filled her lungs.  Her admiration of the clear, star-filled sky was interrupted when Adam walked around the corner.

“There you are.  It’s getting late, you know,” said Adam.

“I guess my nap undermined my bedtime, though I really haven’t had one in years,” she answered.

Adam leaned on the rose covered fence in front of her.  “How does it feel to be home?”

Her answer was short. “I don’t know.  I’m not home yet, am I?”

“I think Pa would like you to think of the Ponderosa as one of your homes.  You know you’re always welcome here.”

“If it were just Ben…never mind.”

“Shiloh, I was hoping that…maybe…I could try explaining what happened with Micah.”

“You explained that to me when I was fourteen, then again at fifteen and before I left at sixteen.  Even my father took up your cause.  Let’s see, how did he put that; ‘the etiquette of gun fighting and the pride of men killed Micah’?” she snapped, scowling.

Adam answered quietly. “Once a man has been called out by another, it’s between those two men.”

“Yes, so you’ve said.  You also told me there are no written rules for gun fighting, and that it’s perfectly legal and why.”

“That’s the way it is, Shiloh.  Why do you still have a problem with it?”

She stood in front of him, almost touching his body with hers, glaring up into his eyes.  “Because, Adam, you valued your pride and Micah’s pride more than you valued his life.   There’s nothing right or acceptable about it.”   She walked away from him, but turned back.  “If he was really your best friend, you should’ve saved him,” she yelled, after which she stormed into the house, up the stairs and into her bedroom, closing the door with a loud thump.

Adam walked slowly back into the house and stood in the entry way, hands on hips, a pained expression on his face as he looked to the top of the stairs.

Ben looked up from his newspaper, holding his pipe away from his mouth.  “What was that about?”

“Micah,” said Adam quietly as he lowered his head and made his way to the stairs wearing the same wounded expression.  “Goodnight, Pa.”

<b>Chapter Five</b>

Shiloh enjoyed her morning in the soft bed. Weeks sleeping, or rather not sleeping, on whatever was available at the way stations during her trip from St. Louis had worn her out. Even the occasional hotel hadn’t helped.  She could see the sunrise from her window and remembered as a young girl rising in the morning and running up the hill to watch the sunrise with her mother.  Today, she dreaded going up the hill now laden with three graves.

She dressed, repacked her bags and made her way down the stairs and to the breakfast table.  When breakfast was finished, Hoss and Joe loaded her trunk and bags in the back of the buggy, and she, Ben and Adam were on their way to the Flying W.  The closer she got to home, the more dread she felt.  She tried not to think of what conditions she would find left for her after her father’s illness, so she sat in silence watching the countryside she loved so much pass by.

When Ben stopped the buggy in front of the house, she sat for a moment and looked around.  At first glance, nothing looked any different than she remembered. Ben had gotten out of the buggy and offered to help her down, but she didn’t hear him.  She was seven years back, remembering the house and yard when she left.

“Shiloh?” Ben asked again.

“Oh.  Mr. Cartwright.  I’m sorry, I was…somewhere else.”  Ben smiled and offered his hand, helping her down.  They entered the house together while Adam pulled her bags from the buggy and followed behind them.  She walked through the entry, dragging her hand over the table just inside the door.  Then she went into the parlor, looked, and walked back out.  Next was her father’s study.  “It hasn’t changed at all.  Just a little dusty.”

“I had the kitchen stocked for you, so you have plenty of supplies,” said Ben.  “And here are the ledgers.  I don’t know what shape they’re in.  Amos said he hadn’t been able to update them for several weeks,” he said, handing her the books. “Adam and I will bring your trunk in.  Where would you like it?”

“Thank you, Mr. Cartwright.  Upstairs.  First door on the right.”  While the men were moving her trunk and bags into her bedroom, she wandered back into the parlor where her mother’s piano sat covered.  She pulled the sheet down, sat on the bench and began to play, first picking out a tune with one finger then moving both hands to the keys.  Realizing the piano had been recently tuned, she leaned her head back, closed her eyes and began to play.

Ben and Adam heard the music from upstairs.  “That’s a very haunting piece,” said Ben.

“Beethoven.  <i>Moonlight Sonata</i>,” whispered Adam.  They came down from the bedroom and stood silently in the door of the parlor, listening.

She finished the piece then leaned her elbows on the front of the piano, covering her face with her hands.  Ben cleared his throat.  “Oh,” she said, wiping her face.  “I didn’t know you were there.”  Ben and Adam stood with apologetic looks.   “Please come in,” she said motioning to the sofa.  “Mr. Cartwright, the piano has been tuned?”

Adam answered. “I thought you might want to play, and it takes a little while to get someone out, so I went ahead and had it tuned.”  He noticed the quiver of her chin when she nodded her thanks, turning away and slowly walking to a chair across from the sofa where she turned and sat down.

“Shiloh, we should talk about the ranch, but maybe you’d like to get reacquainted with the place today instead,” said Ben.

She inhaled deeply. “Tomorrow, then?  I’ll come by the Ponderosa.”

“Before we go…” Adam handed her an envelope with her name written on it in her father’s handwriting.  “Your father asked me to give this to you when you got home.”

She took the envelope from him, and bowed her head.  “Thank you both for your help.  I appreciate all you’ve done for me.”

After the Cartwrights left, Shiloh walked up the hill where her family lay, forever watching those sunsets.  She sat down in the grass and opened the letter her father left for her.  She read it then held it to her breasts, lay down, and wept.

<b>Chapter Six</b>

More than an hour passed before Shiloh sat up.  She wiped her face with the back of her hand and looked at her father’s letter.  She looked more at the writing than the words themselves, brushing her hand over it, picturing her father writing it.   Then she read the words again.

<i>My dearest Shiloh,</i>

<i>If Adam has given you this letter, you have come home to the ranch.  Whether you choose to stay or choose to pursue your music, let it be your decision and that of no one else.  Whichever you choose, I know you will do well.  You have always been able to do whatever you set your mind to doing.  I have only one last bit of advice for you.  You are strong, but my darling, you must be strong enough to accept help when it is offered.  The strongest of us require it, including myself.  Ben and Adam both know the business of ranching.  Listen to them.  Trust them as your mother, your brother and I have trusted them.

As for Micah, he would not want you to blame Adam for his passing, nor do I.   Adam did what I would have done had I been there in his stead.  My hope is that you will come to know they both did what they had to do.  There is no blame to place.

Please remember, I have always loved you from the day you came to your mother and me, so small, so delicate.  Even though I am not here with you, you are not alone.  The Cartwrights have been part of our family from the beginning of our new life here.   You are still a part of them.

You are so much like your mother in so many ways.  I know she would be proud of you.  I am more proud than words can say.

Be happy in any path you take.

With all the love in my heart,

Your father

Amos Abraham Weiss Whitney</i>

Shiloh sniffled and kissed the words, carefully refolded the letter and gently slid it back in the envelope.  She walked back down the hill and past the corral where her father worked with his horses.  Hearing someone ride into the yard, she peeked around the side of the barn then she stepped out.  “Hank!”

As she trotted towards him, he jumped down from his horse, landing with his arms open wide by the time she reached him.  She remembered his hug as one of those that could crack your back, and though it sounded ghastly, it felt so good.

“Miss Shiloh, when did you get back?”

“Didn’t Mr. Cartwright tell you I was on the way?”

“I’ve been away from the ranch house so much he probably couldn’t find me to tell me.  Let me take a look at you,” he said as he took a step back.  “All grown up, aren’t ya?” he laughed, pulling her into another hug.  “Billy and I have been tryin’ to keep the cattle together and the fences mended, but there’s just the two of us now.  Everyone else left after your father passed away.  They all figured you’d be sellin’ this place when you got back.”

She invited Hank to sit on the front porch.   “Are all of my father’s horses still here?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“And the cattle, do we still have the whole herd?”

“More or less.  We didn’t have a roundup this spring.  Adam thought we should wait to see if the ranch would be sold then count the cattle for the sale.”

“Well, the ranch isn’t being sold, so we need a roundup.   Do you know if our old hands are still around?”

“Most of ‘em.  Some of ‘em are workin’ for the Cartwrights.”

“Well, hire them back.  Tell them we’re in business.”  She reached for Hank’s hand.  “Hank, can we get the ranch back to where Micah had it?  Be honest.”

He beamed.  “Miss Shiloh, I don’t see why not if we can get the hands back.”

“Alright then.  You work on the hands.  I’ll be going to the Ponderosa tomorrow to talk about the ranch with Mr. Cartwright.  After that, we should be well on our way.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” said Hank as he rose from his chair toward his horse.  He climbed into his saddle and turned.  “Miss Shiloh…it sure is good to have you back.”

Shiloh spent the rest of the afternoon going through her father’s papers.  The ranch ledger hadn’t been updated for months.  The ledger he kept for his horses hadn’t been updated either, but there was a list of horses he had before he stopped keeping the books up.  She needed the bank account balances before she could start updating them, so she busied herself going over past expenses to estimate what would be needed for food, supplies, repairs and payroll.  By the time she looked up from the desk, it was almost dark outside.  She put the books away and pulled out her father’s letter, looking at her name meticulously written on the envelope.  She laid it gently right in the middle of the desktop, carefully positioning it in line with the corners of the desk.  Then she went to her piano and played until she could no longer hold her eyes open.

<b>Chapter Seven</b>

The next morning, Shiloh walked out to the barn wearing riding clothes.  She had no idea what was available to ride, but she was sure Hank would be able to find her something.  When she walked through the door, he was already there, grooming a gray Arabian mare.

“Hank, she’s beautiful,” said Shiloh, running her hand up the neck.  She’s very white.  There’s no mottling at all.  How old is she?”

“Spirit’s a five year old; the last one your daddy trained.”  Hank threw the brush in a bucket and picked up a blanket, placing it on the horse’s back.  “He trained her for you.  I reckon he knew how sick he was and thought you might be comin’ home.”

When he reached for the saddle, Shiloh interrupted him.  “May I?   I haven’t saddled a horse since I left.  I should find out if I remember how.”

Hank stepped back and watched as Shiloh lifted the saddle, placing it on the blanket on the horse’s back.  She felt the withers underneath the horn and adjusted the saddle up, folded the stirrup up and hung it on the horn, then started the cinch.  When she had the strap through the ring, she stopped and watched the horse breathe, waiting for an inhale then pulling it tight.

She stepped back and looked at Hank.  “How’d I do?”

“It’s like you never left.”

“I’ll need some saddle bags.  I’m taking the books with me.”

Once she had the books in the saddle bags, she mounted and rode to the Ponderosa.  When she arrived, Adam was sitting on the front porch with his coffee, reading.

He walked over to the rail where she was tying Spirit. “She’s a beauty.  I don’t think we’ve met.”

“This is Spirit.  Hank said my father trained her for me,” she said, pulling the saddle bags down.  “I brought the books back.  They haven’t been updated for months.  I need to know what’s in the ranch accounts before I can do that.”

“Pa said he’d be out in a few minutes. Would you like some coffee?” Adam asked, motioning to the table on the front porch.  Shiloh walked to the porch and sat down holding the saddle bags in her lap.

Adam sat and picked up the coffee pot.  “Coffee?”

“No, thank you.”

“How was your ride over?”

She took a deep breath.  “Adam, I didn’t come over for small talk.  I’d really just like to get this over with.  There’s apparently quite a bit to do at the ranch.”

“Oh, like what?”

“Well for starters, there are no hands other than Hank and Billy.  I asked Hank to hire them back.  Then there’s the spring roundup that wasn’t done.”  She opened the saddlebags, laid the books on the table and dropped the bags to the floor.  “Then, there’s this.”  She opened both books.   “It will take me days to catch these up.”

Adam reached across the table and closed the books.  “There’s plenty of time to catch these up.  You should take a break for a while…to enjoy being home.”  He poured her a cup of coffee and placed it on the table in front of her.

“Why can’t you just tell me what you need to tell me so I can be on my way?”

He opened his mouth to answer, but Ben beat him to it.   “Because, we both want to talk to you,” he said as he made his way to the table, bending down to kiss the top of her head.  “How’d you sleep last night?”

“Very well, thank you, Mr. Cartwright.   I seem to have a lot to do at the ranch.  I was hoping we could do this quickly.  I need to go into town and look at the ranch accounts today.”

Adam poured his father a cup of coffee.  Ben took a sip, leaning back in his chair.  “Shiloh, I don’t know how to tell you this gently, so I’ll just say it.  Amos put the ranch and the ranch accounts in a trust.”

She stiffened in her chair, breathing deeply to control her temper, remembering Miss Anderson’s words.  <i>No one will take you seriously unless you can control your temper.</i>   “A trust?  Why did Daddy feel the need to draw up a trust?”

“I suggested it,” answered Adam.

She jerked her head toward Adam, but kept her voice even.  “Why?”

Ben answered this time.  “Amos waited too late to tell anyone he was dying.  Shortly after I sent the first telegram, he went unconscious and never came to.   His intention was to let you make the decision about the ranch while you were in Boston.  If you had chosen to sell the ranch, we could have handled that for you without you coming back.”

“Well, I’m back.  I’m not selling the ranch.  Close the trust.”

“It’s not that easy,” said Ben.   “When Adam suggested the trust, Amos decided to put some stipulations in it.  We have to abide by those.”

Shiloh propped her elbows on the table, raised her hands to her head and rubbed her temples.  “Who is the trustee and what are the stipulations?”

“Pa and I are the trustees. The trust will be closed when we feel you can run the ranch on your own or when you marry.”

Adam watched the muscles of her jaw move while she clenched her teeth.  She stood up, walking a few steps away from the table with her back to them.  “Can we go on to town and get the account information?  I’d like to get back to the ranch and get the books done.”

Adam walked up behind her touching her arms.  “It’s not as bad as it sounds.”

“You’re not standing in my boots,” she said, stepping out of his hands.

“I tried to tell you before; running the ranch isn’t going to be easy.  You don’t have any experience.”

She turned and glared at him.  “Are you just dismissing that I went to college?”

“No, but there’s a big difference between theoretical school work and practical experience,” he said, his voice slightly elevated.

“I have more experience than you’re giving me credit for,” she said, matching his tone.

He answered curtly. “We’ll see.”

She clenched her fists at her side. “Adam Cartwright, you are a stubborn, mule-headed…know-it-all!”

He leaned forward and answered brusquely.  “Would you like to be the pot or the kettle?”

Ben stood beside them, watching them exchange angry stares, placing his hands on their shoulders.  “Shiloh, Adam will take charge of the trust.”

“Pa, that might not be such a good idea.”

“You’ve both been to college.  Now apply all that education and work together,” said Ben sternly, walking away, shaking his head while Shiloh and Adam both looked exasperated as they watched him leave.

“Town?” she asked impatiently, turning back to Adam.

“I’ll be ready in a few minutes,” grumbled Adam on his way to the barn.

<b>Chapter Eight</b>

Shiloh and Adam rode in silence the first hour of their trip into Virginia City.  Adam finally made an attempt at conversation.

“I know this is difficult for you, but it’ll get easier.”

“What’s supposed to be easier?  And don’t you dare say running the ranch.”

Adam breathed deeply and looked away, raising his eyebrows.  “Let’s try something else.   How about friends?   Any good friends back east?”

Shiloh stared ahead of them, wishing she could just get the ride over with, but came to the conclusion that, perhaps, the nicer she seemed the less he would dig for something to talk about.  “My roommate, Annie; Annie Walters.   She became more like a sister.  The first two years, we did everything together.  When I went to Baltimore, we made a point to stay in touch and got together at least once a month.  She was finishing her academic studies while I was in Baltimore, so when I went back to New York, she had moved on.”

“What did she move on to?”

“Medicine.  She wants to be a doctor.”

Adam whistled.  “That’s quite an undertaking for a young lady.”

“The last three years, she’s been working with a doctor in Boston in preparation for Geneva Medical College.  So this past year, we were able to spend quite a bit of time together.”

“Did she attend women’s rights lectures with you?”

Shiloh tensed and turned away, wincing.  “Yes, she did.  And she was encouraged to go in the direction she chose, as was I.”

“I thought that was your choice.  Why would you need encouragement?”

She exhaled, looking incredulously at him.   “You know as well as I do that it’s difficult for a woman to get medical training.  The men who run those institutions would rather eat dirt than allow a woman into a medical practice.  As far as my choice, while male singers and actors receive acclaim and respect, the women are seen only as pretty faces and voices, and that’s because all those men want their women in their kitchens and their beds.”  Her voice slowly elevated as she spoke, and when she finished, she closed her eyes and calmed herself, then continued in a composed voice.  “I don’t know what you and my father expected from me when I came back from college, but I didn’t go to college to come back to cook and clean and bear children for some man.  I came back to run the ranch.”

“You’re father expected good things from you.  He was very proud of you.  He also wanted you to be happy.   You’re the only one that can figure that part out.”  Shiloh’s silence told Adam his words brought back her grief, but he knew she needed to hear them because she had spent the majority of her short time home needlessly defending herself.  “I don’t think it mattered to him whether you chose the ranch or chose to sing.  Either way, he would have been proud of you.”

She looked away to hide the tears she was trying desperately to hold back and remained silent for the rest of the trip into to town.  When they arrived, they rode straight to the bank, where Adam introduced her to the banker, Mr. Sawyer.   They got the account information she needed, and while Adam stayed and spoke to Mr. Sawyer about Ponderosa business, Shiloh busied herself at the various supply stores, checking the Flying W accounts to ensure they were still open and that the balances had been paid.  She also picked up the mail and was standing next to her horse going through it when Adam emerged from the bank.

“Would you like to have lunch in town?” asked Adam.  “It’s almost one o’clock.  By the time we get back to the ranch, it won’t be long before dinnertime.”

Shiloh nervously looked around her.  “Alright,” she said quietly.

“You don’t have to be afraid to be seen in town,” said Adam as he walked beside her on the boardwalk toward the International House.  “It’s been over seven years.   They won’t remember.” He glanced at her, seeing she wasn’t buying it.  “Even if any of them do remember, we can correct them.”

She stopped, taking a deep, settling breath.  “<i>We</i> don’t need to do anything.  I’m not twelve years old anymore, Adam, and it’s time you stopped thinking of me that way.   I can take care of myself.  If I were a man, you wouldn’t be…hovering over me.”

“I would have made the same promises to your father regardless.   I intend to keep them.”

When they arrived at the International House restaurant, they were immediately seated, and shared an awkwardly quiet few minutes before their drinks were served.

“Why the ranch?” asked Adam.

“Excuse me?  I don’t know what you mean.”

“Why did you choose the ranch over life in Boston?”

“I had always planned to come back to the ranch.”

“Yes, but you had a start to a promising career in Boston.”

Shiloh thought for a moment then relaxed in her chair, thinking if she could make him understand, he wouldn’t be so adamant about knowing every little thing.  “I don’t really remember Mama singing and playing, but my father always talked about how well she played and how pretty her voice was.  I started lessons for him; he seemed to miss the music so.   But, once I started, I found I enjoyed it.  When I played for Edwin, and he suggested Peabody, I was excited at first, but after a very short while, I realized that I was being prepared for something I didn’t want.  I guess I just didn’t voice my desires as loudly as I should have.” She paused when their food was delivered.  Before she began to eat, she looked across the table at Adam.  “I never had any other plans but to come home to the ranch.  It was Edwin that kept pushing me toward the stage.”

“Edwin seems to think you could be more successful than Eliza Biscaccianti; that whenever you perform or interview, you come alive, as he puts it.”

“The smiling, the mingling, the interviews; it’s all part of the performance.  Isabella isn’t me.  She’s just a part I play.”

“I’m not sure I would agree with you.  I’ve heard you play the piano.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever met Mary, Edwin’s wife, but she told me that whenever Edwin finds a protégé he gets so enthusiastic, he forgets to ask what they want.  He never asked me, and I never told him.”  She lowered her head.  “I didn’t want to hurt him.”

“He said you enjoyed it.”

“I did; very much so.”

Adam put his fork down, wiped his mouth then returned his napkin to his lap.  “I don’t understand.  If you enjoy it, why not continue?”

Shiloh sipped her tea then looked away.  “I made up my mind before I left that the ranch would always be more important to me than anything. It’s not just the ranch.  It’s the Sierra.  If I had stayed in Boston, I would still be living in and surrounded by cold brick buildings.  I’d be walking on cobblestone streets, and I’d be breathing soot-filled air.  I would be allowed to ride…,” she raised an eyebrow, “sidesaddle.  I’d never be able to work with horses like my father did.  I’d wake up every morning to the metallic bell of an alarm clock instead of a rooster.  I’d never get to watch the calves or kids or foals kicking up their hind legs, playing.  I’d be living out of hotel rooms and spending most of my time traveling with no roots…no home.”  She stopped.  Adam watched her eyes changing, her demeanor saddening.  “Someone else would be looking at those graves on the hill…,” a tear rolled down her cheek, “without caring anything about them.”

“Are you saying you came home for them?” he asked softly.

She wiped her mouth with her napkin then laid it on the table.  “I don’t know,” she said quietly, trying to keep her composure.  “Would you please excuse me?”  She turned towards the exit, never meeting his eyes, not waiting for an answer, and walked quickly to her horse outside without looking back.

Adam stood, motioning to the waiter as she left.  He laid some cash on the table and followed her out, but instead of going after her, he watched her from the front porch of the hotel, deciding to let her ride home alone with her thoughts, as unsure as she appeared to be of why she had come home.  He suspected that the disposition of the ranch might yet change.

When Shiloh arrived at the Flying W, she went into the house to get her father’s letter then climbed the hill and settled on the ground, leaning against the tree.  She looked at her father’s handwriting on the envelope.  <i>Is this the reason I came home?</i>  She opened and reread the letter, folding it and putting it back in the envelope when she was done.  She spoke out loud, choking back tears, “Daddy, what am I supposed to do?”

<b>Chapter Nine</b>

Adam arrived at the Flying W expecting to see Shiloh at the top of the hill by the house.   Instead, he found the front door open.  When he stepped in and called her name, her answer was short and sharp.

“Study.”

She looked up from the desk, seeing Adam standing with his weight on his left leg, his hands crossed in front of him, the picture of calm.  She looked back down and continued to write in the ledgers. She had started with the account balances from the bank then transferred all the ranch balances from the old ledger.  “How do I access the money in the trust?” she asked, still writing in the ledger.

“We estimate your monthly expenses, and then you get a monthly allowance.”

“What if it’s not enough?”

“I’ll review your books, and we’ll adjust if we need to.”

She finished writing in her monthly estimates then turned the ledger around and pushed it to the outside edge of the desk.  “Fine.  Review.  The only balance I don’t have is the cattle count, and I won’t have that until after the roundup.”

Adam picked up the ledger and the papers from the bank and sat on the edge of the desk, going over each column of numbers.  “How did you come up with these estimates?”

“I used the average of the last three complete months when the Flying W had a full payroll.”

Adam closed the ledger.  “What about the other ledger?”

“You mean the horse ledger?”

He nodded.

“I don’t remember anything in the trust paperwork I saw at the bank that said anything about my father’s horses.  It only referred to the ranch property, the ranch account and the cattle.”

“Shiloh, the horses are part of the ranch.”

“I disagree.  The cattle were listed separately.   The horses weren’t.”

“I’m not going to argue with you about it.  When you’ve had time to see what horses are here that your father either bred or imported to train and sell, I want to see that ledger.  In the meantime, I’ll have the bank release some money to you to get you through your first month.  But, once the roundup is done, I want to see both ledgers.”

“I’ll have Hank drop the ranch ledger off at the Ponderosa after the roundup.  You can’t have the horse ledger, and if you disagree with that…,” she stood up from the desk and leaned over it, looking him square in the eyes, “take me to court.”

Adam’s nostrils flared, but he maintained an even tone of voice, even though the air was thick enough to cut with a knife.  “Why are you making this harder than it needs to be?”

“Did you find anything wrong with the ranch ledger?”

“No, but…”

She interrupted.  “I already told you my father taught me how to do the books.  I did the books for months before I left.”

“There’s more to running this ranch than keeping the books up to date.  What are you going to do the first time you have a dispute between your ranch hands?  Do you even know when your taxes are due?  And has anyone done an inspection of your fences and outbuildings?”

“Hank has always handled the ranch hands, and if it’s something he can’t, I’m prepared to.  I can find everything I need to know about my taxes from the assessor’s office, and Hank can do an inspection after the roundup is done.  Now, I’d appreciate it if you would release my <i>allowance</i> so I can get on with it.”

Adam exhaled and cocked his head to one side, lowering his voice.  “I’m just trying to help you get on your feet.  You have some feelings you need to deal with before anyone expects you to take on this ranch.”

She closed her eyes remembering her father’s letter. <i>You are strong, but my darling, you must be strong enough to accept help when it is offered.    As for Micah, he would not want you to blame Adam for his passing, nor do I.</i>   She sat back down, rubbing her forehead.  “Adam, it’s not that I don’t appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I don’t need…”  She stopped and breathed deeply.  “I’m not one who can sit and do nothing.  I have to be busy. The ledgers, the horses, the supplies, the cattle…all that helps.”

Adam walked around the desk, standing beside her, touching her shoulder. “I’ll be back in a few days to see how you’re doing.”  He picked up his hat and walked toward the front door.  “The Ponderosa and the Flying W used to do roundups together.  If you think Hank could use the help, we’d be happy to.”

Shiloh walked Adam to the front door.  “I’ll talk to Hank and let you know.  It will be up to him.”

After Adam left, Shiloh saddled Spirit and rode to the pasture where her father kept the horses he would train.  She pulled the horse ledger from her saddlebags, climbed over the fence and began to mark off the horses on her father’s list.

Amos Whitney had been a successful horse breeder and trainer on his plantation in the Deep South.  When he left because of the unrest growing in the South, he brought some of his stock with him to Nevada where he began to build his horse business in the West.  By the time Shiloh left for college, Amos was well known for his horses, and it was the horse business that paid for her education.  When someone wanted more than an ordinary animal, more times than not, it was Amos Whitney who was recommended.

“Maximilian, hey there fella,” Shiloh said as she approached the big black stallion that had been her father’s favorite.   She reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of carrot.   Max immediately buried his snout in her hand, eating the carrot as she stroked his nose.   In the fading light, she walked around the pasture, observing each horse, guessing which ones had been started.  There were a number of mares with foals as well as what looked like several two and three year olds.  She walked back to Spirit, taking the halter she had draped over her saddle horn then whistling the way her father taught her to call Max.  He came right to her.  She haltered him, led him back to the barn and bedded down both horses.  Tomorrow, she would start working with the others.

<b>Chapter Ten</b>

While Shiloh sipped her morning coffee, she finished going through the mail she had picked up in Virginia City the day before.  There was a letter from Annie advising that her mother had passed away.  Shiloh thought sadly that Annie was now left with no family of her own, other than Shiloh herself; they thought of each other more as sisters than just friends.  Annie was still waiting to hear from her application to medical school.

There was also a letter from Will Stewart; Senator William Stewart.  Edwin had introduced her to Will after one of her Boston performances, and Will began to court her.  She began traveling with him to political functions and parties.  Several months before she left for home, he had proposed.  She had considered accepting, but in the end, she declined.  She knew she had hurt him terribly, but thought the hurt would be worse if she had married him, and the marriage turned sour.  Her longing for home would have destroyed it.  Her involvement in women’s rights certainly would have hurt him politically.

Will wrote that he would be coming through Virginia City on his way to San Francisco, where he would be staying for several months as a liaison between the United States government and the State of California.  He asked to see her.

She propped her elbows on the desk, clasping her hands and resting her chin on top of them.  <i>I don’t want him to get the impression that anything has changed, but it would be rude if I didn’t, at least, see him.  I’ll just have to make it clear.</i>  She dismissed it for the time being.  He would not arrive in Virginia City for several weeks.

Shiloh’s mornings were spent with Hank, checking the progress of the roundup, and riding along for the inspections of the fences and outbuildings.  She had created quite a list of repairs that would be required and would need extra cash to purchase the necessary supplies and materials. She spent her afternoons working with each of her father’s horses, determining where he had gotten in their training.  She found that while some had not been started at all, there were several at each stage.

She was working with a mare named Spec when Adam came by to check her progress.  He tied Sport and walked to the corral where she was working, being careful not to cause any distraction for the horse.  He leaned on the corral fence, and watched as Shiloh used a buggy whip, touching the horse’s front legs gently coaxing the mare’s feet together.  She stood in front of the horse, and raised her hands stepping closer and closer until the horse backed up and didn’t stop until Shiloh did.  Next, she attached a lead rope to Spec’s halter and walked with the mare at her side around the corral, correcting Spec’s distance with her hand until the horse maintained it, walking into Shiloh’s left then away from her right.  For the last test she performed, Shiloh walked the horse in a circle requiring the mare to rotate with her back feet in place.  She corrected the mare several times before she was successful, after which Spec was rewarded with a head scratch and a carrot.  Shiloh detached the lead rope, and looked out, noticing Adam at the fence for the first time.

Adam could almost feel her disappointment at the sight of him when she stopped, let out a heavy sigh, then put on a disingenuous smile and walked toward him.  As she approached Adam, Spec came up behind her, pushing her nose into Shiloh’s back hard enough that Shiloh stumbled and fell.

Adam jumped over the corral fence.  “Are you alright?” he said anxiously, helping her to her feet.

“I’m fine,” she barked, brushing dirt from her britches, red from embarrassment.  Adam pulled his hands away from her with a pinched look, not wanting to start their afternoon off on the wrong foot.  “That horse has been a perfect lady all day.”  Shiloh turned toward the horse, meeting her eyes.  Spec whinnied as if she were laughing, turned and kicked her hind legs out, then trotted around Shiloh and up behind Adam, gently nuzzling his arm.

“Hey, girl.  What’s her name?” asked Adam.

Shiloh looked at the horse dubiously, furrowing her brow and twisting her mouth.  “Spec.”

“She seems friendly.”

“Spsh!” said Shiloh as she climbed over the fence, making her way to the house.

Adam chuckled at the sound she made; like she had sprung a leak.  He followed her over the fence and to the house.

She left the front door open, but when Adam got there he hesitated, sticking his head in first.   When she reached the desk, she turned to see if he had followed.  “Well, come on.  I want to get this over with.”  He walked to the study, and she handed him the ledger.  “The cattle counts are there.  So is a list of repairs that are needed for the outbuildings and the fences, and behind that is a list of materials I need.  I need more money than you’ve allowed.”

Adam opened the ledger.  “May I?” he asked, motioning to the chair at the desk.  She nodded.

“Would you like some coffee?” she asked, attempting to be hospitable.

“Thank you, that would be nice,” he answered without looking up from the ledger.  He was already engrossed in her lists and figures.  When she left the room, he opened the horse ledger sitting on the side of the desk.  She had confirmed all but the stallions and had noted each horse’s level of training.  He heard her approaching, closed the ledger and moved it back to the edge of the desk.  As she poured his coffee, he thanked her and continued checking her figures while she sat on the side of the desk with her own coffee, waiting patiently.

“Where did you get these material prices?  They’re a little high.”

“Daddy had a price list in the old ledger. I used those and added twenty percent.  If they’re too high, I’ll adjust them afterwards.”

He closed the ledger.  “I see only one problem here.”

She got up from the desk and stood beside him.  “Where?  Show me.”

He smiled.  “It’s not your figures.  It’s your expectations.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, leaning on the desk.

“You don’t need all these materials now.  You need to estimate how long the work will take, get it scheduled and then order the materials as you need them based on the schedule.  If you order them all at once, you’ll have to store them.” She looked away.  Adam leaned back in the desk chair, turning it to catch the corner of her eye.  “You’ve never done that, have you?”

She sighed.  “No.”

“Tell you what.  I’ll come back tomorrow morning and help you estimate the time.  Then you can come up with the schedule and figure what materials you’ll need and when.”

“I can’t tomorrow.  I’m meeting someone coming in on the noon stage.”

“In the next few days then.”  Adam stood and made his way to the door.  “Friend from back east?”

“Yes.”

“Annie?”

Shiloh opened the door, handing him his hat.  “Goodbye,” she said, smiling.

She spent this evening…she spent every evening…at the piano. It offered her escape and respite after a day of running a ranch.  It had become her best friend, whispering to her, soothing her, caressing her with each note.

<b>Chapter Eleven</b>

Discussion at the Cartwright dinner table usually concerned the events of the day; what work had been done and what work was left.   Adam had gotten back late with only enough time to help move the last of the wagon load of hay into the barn.

“It’s time to go into town for supplies,” said Ben.  “Adam, you and Hoss take care of that tomorrow.”

“Pa, Adam’s been puttin’ in half days all week,” complained Joe.

“What’s your point, Joseph?”

“Me and Hoss have been doing all the work around here lately.   Maybe our big brother should stay tomorrow and do his share,” said Joe, smiling sarcastically at Adam. “We have to bring in a couple more loads of hay.  Then there’s the fences that need to be checked, and the line shacks need to be stocked for winter.”

“I have other responsibilities, Joe.  And besides that, I have a timber bid to price out tonight, so I’ll be staying up late.  Pa, I need to go into town tomorrow anyway.  I need to see Mr. Murdock and let him know the Flying W account will run high this month.”

“Won’t Shiloh pay that account down every month?” asked Ben.

“Well, yeah, she will, but she and Hank have done an inspection of the ranch and have quite a repair list.  I thought I’d speak with Mr. Murdock…sort of guarantee her account since it’s gonna be higher than normal.  I also need to arrange for Mr. Sawyer to release the extra cash she’ll need.  She’ll have to get some of that work done before winter.”

“I guess you were over there today, then.”

“I wanted to go over her ledgers again.  She’s got everything updated.  The only thing she’ll need help with is estimating the time for the repairs.  She’s even got the horse ledger updated except for the stallions.”

Ben stopped eating and looked up at Adam.  “How is she?”

Adam glanced up, looking back at his father, sighing.  He leaned back in his chair, wiping his mouth with his napkin.  “I really don’t know, Pa.  I’ve been there several times over the last few weeks to check her ledger, and the most I can get out of her is related to the ranch.  She seems fine.  She’s still angry with me.  She tries to be nice, but it’s obvious she doesn’t want me there.”

Ben nodded and took a sip of coffee.  “Maybe I should pay her a visit.”

“What if we invite her to dinner?” suggested Adam.  “Other than an occasional trip to town, I don’t think she’s been off the ranch.  There have been two dances since she’s been back, and she didn’t go to either of them.”  He leaned forward, propping his elbows on the table.  “She was working with one of the horses today wearing britches.  She looked a little skinny if you ask me.”

Ben exhaled heavily.  “I wonder if she’s eating.  She’s alone in that big house.  I can imagine that she might not prepare a meal for herself.”

“She’ll be in town tomorrow.  I’ll invite her to dinner tomorrow evening,” said Adam. “Oh, she’ll have a guest with her.”  He excused himself from the table and made his way over to the desk to begin working on the timber bid.

<b>Chapter Twelve</b>

Adam and Hoss left for town a little later than they would have liked.  Adam had stayed up until the early morning hours working on the timber bid and moved rather slowly this morning.  He sat back in the seat of the buckboard and dozed as much as he could through the bumps and jars of the road while Hoss drove.

Hoss stopped the buckboard in front of Mr. Cass’s store, and while he went inside and placed their order, Adam walked to the post office for the mail.  By the time Hoss came back to the buckboard, Adam was leaning against it, reading a telegram intently.

“Whacha reading there?” asked Hoss, walking up beside him.

Without looking up, Adam answered, “It’s a telegram from Edwin Booth.”

“You get telegrams from him all the time.  They don’t generally hold your interest like that one.”

“Yeah, well, this one is a little disturbing.  Did you see Shiloh come into town?”

“No.  She was already here.  I saw her comin’ out of the tax assessor’s office a few minutes ago.  Then she met a feller gettin’ off the noon stage.”

“Which way’d they go?” asked Adam, stuffing the telegram in his back pocket.

“They headed over toward the International House.  Hey, you ain’t gonna follow her, are ya?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact I am,” answered Adam, walking away with an uneasy look on his face.

“Will, how long are you staying in Virginia City?” Shiloh asked while they were being shown to a table in the hotel restaurant.

“I’ll be on the noon stage tomorrow for San Francisco.”

“I see.”

After the waiter brought drinks and took their orders, Will lifted Shiloh’s hand to his lips.  “Isabella, I know you’ve only been home for a few weeks, but I’ve missed you terribly.”

She smiled warily, taking her hand from him. “Please, don’t call me Isabella here.  These people only know me as Shiloh.”  She took a drink. “You need to get past this, Will.  I’m not going back to Boston.”

He took her hand again.  “I had to see you.  I have to try to convince you that Boston won’t be as bad as you think.”  Her smile was gone. “Isabella, we can make this work.  Anything you need, anything you want, you’ll have.” Shiloh tried to take her hand away, but he held it firmly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Adam enter the restaurant, coming toward their table.  She looked up at him expectantly, and just as she opened her mouth to speak, Adam held his hand out to Will.

“Will?  Will Stewart.”

Will released her hand and stood.  “Adam Cartwright, how are you?  I knew you were near Virginia City, but I never expected you’d be here while I was passing through.”

Shiloh bowed her head, lightly rubbing her temple.

“Won’t you join us?” asked Will.

“Sure, if the lady doesn’t mind,” he said, smiling at Shiloh.

She returned a sardonic smile and nodded.  “I had no idea you two knew each other.”

“Will and I were classmates at college,” answered Adam.

“And how do both of you know each other?” asked Will.

Adam answered, “Funny thing.  I’ve known Shiloh since she was two.  How do you know her, Will?”

“I spent most of the last year trying to convince her to be my wife.”  Shiloh paled.

“Your wife?”  Adam turned to Shiloh, noticing her discomfort.  “And you never told me?”

She managed a sickly smile.  <i>How could he have found out?  Edwin.  It had to be Edwin.</i>

“So tell me, Adam,” Will began.  “Is that ranch of yours…what was it, the Ponderosa…still taking up all your time?”

“It’s a big ranch, so yes, I stay busy.”

“I’d enjoy seeing it, but I’ll be on the noon stage tomorrow.”

“You’ve still got time to see it.  Why don’t both of you come to the house for dinner tonight?” Shiloh sat with her elbow propped on the table, her chin in her hand, staring icily at Adam as he spoke. “My brother and I are here to pick up supplies, but I’m sure by the time you’ve finished your lunch, we’ll be ready to go.  We can take some time to go by the lake and show you some of the Ponderosa before we get to the house.  Will, you can stay the night.”

“That’s marvelous, Adam.  I think I’d enjoy that.  I’ll arrange for the hotel to keep my bags.”

Adam rose, extending his hand to Will.  “It’s settled then.  When you’re finished here, meet me at Cass’s store.”  He turned back to Shiloh, smiling knowingly at her irritation.  “Shiloh knows where it is.”  He tipped his hat to her.  “Shiloh.”

She sat, stewing.   <i>Great.  Just great.  Now, he’s going to be even nosier.</i>

“Well, fancy that.  So, do you know Adam well?” asked Will.

“Hm?  Oh, yes, I guess you could say that.”  She paused while their lunch was delivered. “I’ve known all the Cartwrights most of my life.”

“But, Adam in particular?”

“He arranged for my college education.  He knew my father well.  His father and my father were close friends, and he was my brother’s…friend,” she said, choking the last word out.

“I’m going to be in San Francisco for quite some time.  I wish you could arrange a visit,” said Will.

“I’ll have to wait and see.  My ranch keeps me busy.  We still have to prepare for winter, and as for travel, winter travel is not very easy in the Sierra.”

“But, it is done, isn’t it?”

She hesitated, but only for a moment.  “Yes, it is done, though it usually takes longer.”

“I believe Edwin has been planning a trip out with his repertoire company.  He mentioned stopping in Virginia City to see you.  Perhaps you could come to San Francisco with him.”

Her interest piqued, she answered simply, “Perhaps.”

<b>Chapter Thirteen</b>

After a scenic trip around the Ponderosa culminating with a breathtaking view of the lake, the buggy came to a stop in front of the house.  Hoss had already gotten home with the buckboard and advised everyone their guests would be arriving shortly, telling Hop Sing there would be two more for dinner.  Adam escorted Shiloh and Will inside.

Ben greeted them in the entry way, taking Shiloh’s hands.  “Shiloh, it’s always good to see you.  Senator Stewart, it’s an honor to have you in our home,” he said, offering his hand.

“Thank you, Mr. Cartwright.  Adam has always spoken so fondly of the Ponderosa I thought I’d take the opportunity to see it while I’m out.  It is indeed a sight to behold.”

“Well, thank you.  We are proud of it.  Please, come in,” said Ben, motioning toward the sitting area.  “Can I offer you a drink, perhaps a brandy?”

“Yes, thank you,” said Will distractedly as he watched Adam direct Shiloh to a chair then sit on the arm next to her.

“Will, what brings you out west?” asked Adam.

“Quite simply, the war.”

Ben harrumphed.  “Senator, we try to remain neutral here.  I don’t want the war brought into our home.”

“Understandable, Mr. Cartwright.  Fortunately, I’m not here to fight the war.  My job is liaison to the President in matters of incarceration and the protection of San Francisco Bay.  As you probably know, Fort Alcatraz is now housing war prisoners.  Fort Point has just mounted the last of its cannons and the Presidio has been equipped with defenses as well.  My job is to report the readiness of the area against attacks, some of which have already begun in the bay.”

“The attacks on some of the vessels carrying arms have made the newspaper here in Virginia City,” said Ben.

“Arms and gold, Mr. Cartwright.”

Hop Sing announced dinner, and everyone made their way to the dining room table.  Shiloh and Will sat on either side of Ben with Adam next to Shiloh.

“Senator. . .”

“Mr. Cartwright, my friends call me Will.”

Ben nodded.  “What brings you through Virginia City?”

Will smiled warmly at Shiloh.  “A lovely young woman.”  Shiloh’s chewing slowed to a stop.  She smiled guardedly back.

“You two know each other then?” asked Ben.

“Yes, we do.  I’ve been trying to convince Isabella to come back to Boston with me as my wife.”  Shiloh’s eyes widened as she briefly looked away, bringing her napkin up to her lips.  All the Cartwrights stopped chewing, darting glances around the table.  “Sadly for me, I haven’t been convincing enough.  Though, after seeing this part of the country, I can understand why she loves it so much.”

Ben glanced at Shiloh and changed the subject.  “Adam, how long has it been since you’ve seen the Senator?”

Adam had been watching Shiloh then looked back at Will, narrowing his eyes.  “We haven’t seen each other since college, though we have exchanged letters.  I knew he was interested in someone back east, but he never mentioned who.”

“Adam would have done well if he had stayed in Boston.  There are many opportunities for good architects back east.”  Will inhaled deeply.  “But, he was always the one who enjoyed the rugged challenges in life.  Take target shooting.  One of our competitions involved a running course where each participant had to stop at given points and shoot their rifle at a target.”  He turned to Adam.  “I do believe Adam went undefeated.  Tell me Adam, I noticed you wear a gun.  Have you had to use it out here?”

The corner of Adam’s mouth turned up.   Adam had always been the one at college who preached that the practice of wearing guns had no place in civilized society.   Will had been the one who needed to outdo Adam at every turn, mostly unsuccessfully.  “Unfortunately, wearing a gun is a fact of life in the uncivilized West.  Perhaps one day the West will be as civil as Boston.”

Shiloh had been watching the two men as they spoke, hoping that Will wouldn’t extend their obvious competitiveness to her, even though it was unfounded from both sides.  She had been so engrossed in her own thoughts she didn’t hear Ben speak to her.

“Shiloh?” asked Ben, covering her hand with his.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Cartwright.  What did you say?”

“I asked how you met Will?”

“Will and Edwin Booth are friends.  Edwin introduced us after one of my performances.” She placed her napkin on the table next to her plate.  “It appears that Adam and I have the same circle of friends in Boston,” she said, giving Adam a stony look.

Hop Sing brought in the coffee service, setting it on the coffee table in the great room.  “Thank you, Hop Sing,” said Ben.  “Why don’t we have some coffee,” he said, rising from the table.  He offered Shiloh his arm, and everyone followed them into the great room.

Not long afterwards, Shiloh made her apologies.  “It’s late, and I really should get home.”

“Hoss, why don’t you drive Shiloh home,” said Ben.

“Mr. Cartwright, that’s not necessary,” objected Shiloh.

Ben took her hands, giving her a fatherly look of concern.  “It may not be necessary for you, but it will make me feel better.”  She smiled sweetly up at him and surrendered the argument.

Will stood and walked her to the door.  “I hope you will consider coming to San Francisco.  It would be my pleasure to show you the city.”  She looked up at him contritely.  “Will I see you tomorrow before I leave?”

“Yes, I’ll ride into town to see you off.”

“Very well, then.  Goodnight,” said Will, bowing.

Both Adam and Hoss walked Shiloh out to the buggy.  “I hope this wasn’t too unpleasant for you,” said Adam.

“Why would you think it was unpleasant?”

He smiled.  “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Shiloh raised an eyebrow.  “Do we need to talk tomorrow?”

He answered while helping her into the buggy.  “I think we do.”

<b>Chapter Fourteen</b>

After Will retired for the evening, Ben pulled Adam over to the fireplace to prevent their voices from carrying up the stairs.  “What’s troubling you, Son?”

Adam looked down at his hands and smiled.  “I was trying not to show it.”

“I think you were probably successful where everyone else was concerned.  Except maybe Shiloh.”

“Shiloh just thinks I’m meddling.”

“What’s bothering you?”

Adam pulled the telegram from Edwin out of his back pocket and handed it to his father.  “That came in this morning.  Until I read it, I had no idea Will would be arriving today.”

Ben read the telegram, then whistled and sat down to read it again. “Adam, I don’t like this.  You were right to bring them here.  I don’t think Shiloh should be left alone with him.”

“That’s what I thought, but he seemed respectful enough of her.   He was certainly never forward with any women at college.  But, if he’s as obsessed with her as Edwin believes, I’m sure he’ll find a way to see her.”

“You don’t think he’d try to force her back to Boston, do you?”

“I don’t know, Pa.  Edwin’s been around him much longer than I was.  Will was always ambitious.  When he saw something he wanted, he went after it, woe be to the man that got in his way.   I get the distinct impression he thinks I’m in his way.  Edwin made it clear that when Shiloh rejected Will’s proposal, Will was more than angry, though he never let her see that.”

Ben sat nodding.  “So, she has no idea.  Are you going to tell her?”

“I don’t know that I should,” he said, sitting on the hearth.  “She still hasn’t completely dealt with Micah or her father’s death, and on top of that, she’s bent on proving she can run that ranch.  I just wish I could convince her to take a break.  The ranch will still be there if she wants it.”

“Well, I was hoping to speak with her tonight.”

Adam stood, taking the telegram from his father.  “I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

“Are you going to tell her?” Ben asked, repeating the question.

“I don’t see any reason to right now.   She’s got enough to deal with at the moment, and he’s leaving for San Francisco tomorrow.   I have to admit, though, I’d feel more comfortable if he was in Boston.”

The next morning, Adam and Senator Stewart left for town right after breakfast.   They were quiet most of the way until Will asked, “Adam, how is she, really?”

“Why do you ask?”

“She was always so alive in Boston, smiling, laughing.  She seems very withdrawn.”

“She has quite a bit on her mind, coming home because her father died, taking on the ranch by herself, deciding what she wants to do.   She just needs time.”

“I hope you’re right.  You will watch out for her, won’t you?”

“I told her father I would.”

Adam pulled the buggy in front of the International House so that Will could make arrangements for his bags to be taken to the stage office.  He and Adam walked back and stood on the boardwalk waiting for the stagecoach to arrive.

Shiloh arrived just before Will’s bags were delivered in front of the office.  “Good, I’m not late.  I had a little trouble at the ranch this morning,” she said, joining the two men on the boardwalk.

“Oh, what kind of trouble?” Adam asked, furrowing his brow.

“I fired Sam King, but I’m sure Will doesn’t want to hear about that,” she said, looking up at Adam.

She turned back to Will. “I don’t think I asked how long you’ll be in San Francisco.”

“I don’t know yet.  I would imagine until the President feels confident enough that everything in San Francisco is up to his standards.  There’s a good bit of unrest between southern and northern California, and we believe that some of the insurgents are coming from Los Angeles.”

“I expect you’ll be very busy,” she said.

Will gently touched her face.  “Never too busy for you.”

Shiloh looked at him apologetically, but before she could say anything, the stagecoach arrived behind schedule.  The passengers staying in Virginia City were rushed out of the coach and a quick call was made for new passengers.  “Goodbye, Will,” said Shiloh.

Will took her hand, kissing it.   “I’ll stay in touch.   Adam, good to see you again.”

“Will,” said Adam, shaking his hand.

As soon as Senator Stewart was in the coach, the driver released the brake and flicked the reins. The stagecoach moved quickly away.

Adam looked down at Shiloh standing beside him.  “You wanna tell me about Sam King?”

“No.”

He looked up, bristling, but decided he would wait for the story of Sam King’s firing. “Would you ride back to the ranch with me?  I’d like to talk to you.”

She looked down, kicking the dirt.  “What about?”

“I’m concerned about Will,” he said, crossing his arms.

“You don’t need to be.”

“Convince me.”

“Fine.”  They walked back to the buggy, tied Spirit to the back and left town.

“So, Will proposed?”

“Yes, but I told him no.”

“I gathered.  It doesn’t look like he took no for an answer.”

“Adam, I really don’t see how this is any of your business.”

“I promised your father I’d look out for you and knowing Will, I’m not sure he has your best interests at heart.”  When she crossed her arms, Adam thought he had lost her.

After a few minutes, she said, “Will would never hurt me.  He loves me.”

“I’m not sure you know Will enough to know that.  The minute you told him no, you became a challenge to him.  He has a huge ego.  He’s not the kind that takes no for an answer.”  She said nothing.  “Shiloh, he already makes you uncomfortable.  The more he pushes the worse it will get.”

“What would you have me do?  I’ve already told him no.”

“You need to stay away from him.”

“You don’t understand,” she said angrily. “Will is the way he is because…” she looked down at her hands.  “I told him I’d think about it, so he thought I’d say yes.  I got his hopes up.  By the time I told him no, he was already so sure I’d say yes…I not only hurt him deeply, I embarrassed him.”

Adam stopped the buggy, turned and took her hands in his.  “You told him no.  You are not responsible for him.  You don’t owe him anything.”

She jerked her hands away and climbed out of the buggy.   “What else did Edwin tell you?   Will Stewart has never been anything less than a gentleman to me, and I’m not gonna sit here and listen to you talk about something you know nothing about.”  She untied Spirit, mounted and turned to Adam.  “Don’t follow me,” she barked, then rode away.

<b>Chapter Fifteen</b>

Even though she tossed and turned all night thinking about her entanglement with Will Stewart and how Adam Cartwright nosed his way right into that situation, Shiloh was up at her usual time, meeting with Hank over coffee at the kitchen table to go over the day’s work.

“Hank, I’m pretty sure Adam will be here this morning to look over the repairs that need to be done before it snows.  He’s going to help me estimate the time it will take to fix things before I buy the material.  So, before he gets here, I need to know what work you have scheduled.”

Hank opened the property map that showed the major structures and fences.  “We’re gonna start moving half the cattle to these bottom pastures,” he said, pointing to an area on the map.  “These fences here just need minor repairs, and we can take care of those now.  But, we can’t use this area here, until the posts are replaced…that was the bad area we were looking at during the inspection.  It’s gonna need new wire, too.  The sheds down there need some roof repairs, but the boys can go ahead and start cleanin’ out the troughs.   I’ll have some of the boys bring some hay up here to the barn, but the rest has to go in the hay sheds down there.  We’ll have to wait for those repairs.  “So, we’ll start repairing these fences, clean out the troughs, and move some hay into the barn today.  Then we can start moving some of the cattle tomorrow.”

“I’ll want a few of the horses to stay up here,” said Shiloh. “I’ll give you a list.  Then I’ll want the rest moved down as well.  They need to stay in the same groups they’re in.  Daddy had separated the stallions into their family groups, and that’s fine, but I want the mares with new foals together in a separate corral.”

“I’ll have the men get right on it, Miss Shiloh.”

“Oh, Hank; the line shacks.  We’ll need to get those stocked as well.  Can you get me a supply list tonight?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he said, tipping his hat as he left.

After Hank left, Shiloh began looking up at the roof of the front porch where she had seen a shadow reminiscent of water damage.  She went to the barn for a ladder, stopping to greet the horses.  “Spec, girl.   Are you gonna behave today?” she asked, stroking Spec’s nose.  “Come on.   You can have some fresh air this morning,” said Shiloh as she haltered Spec and led her to the hitching rail.   Shiloh went back to the barn and brought the ladder to the front porch where she propped it on the side of the gable, climbing up to check the roof.

While she was up on the ladder, Adam came into the yard.  “What are you doing up there?”

“I think there’s a leak.  I thought I’d see if any shingles are missing.”

As Adam dismounted and tied Sport, Spec pulled her tie loose and walked over to the ladder.  She whinnied loudly, pushing the ladder over with her nose.  “Spec, no!” shouted Shiloh just before she lost her balance and fell to the ground, landing on her back with a loud grunt.  Spec trotted back into the barn, turned around and stood in the door as if she was waiting to see if she was in trouble.

“Don’t move,” said Adam, kneeling next to her.  “You might’ve broken something.”

“Stop squeezing my arms.  There’s nothing wrong,” she snapped, trying to sit up.  Adam took her hand and arm and pulled her to her feet.  She swung around looking for Spec, who was still standing in the door of the barn, looking innocent.  Shiloh took a step and stopped, holding her hand against her back.

“You’re not alright.  Come over here and sit down,” he ordered as he helped her to a chair on the front porch.  “Stay here,” he said then walked to Spec.  The mare gently nuzzled Adam’s arm when he reached her.  Adam looked at Shiloh on the porch, shrugged, and then led the horse back into a stall in the barn.

“Why are you still working with that horse?” he asked when he arrived back at the porch. “That’s the second time she’s put you in the dirt.”

“I don’t get it.  She’s normally a very gentle horse.  The two times you saw are the only times she’s done anything like that.  She’s under saddle now.  I thought I’d ride her today, but I think I’ll wait.”

“You’re not riding today,” said Adam vehemently, raising an eyebrow.

Shiloh stood and walked stiffly into the house.  “Come on.  We need to look at the map before we leave.”   He followed, glaring at her.  “Stop burning a hole in my back, will ya?” she said angrily without turning around.

She spread the map over the kitchen table, showing Adam the areas she and Hank thought needed to be done first.  “I don’t think you need to see the fences, but you may want to look at the sheds.  I don’t think they had any repairs at all last year, so they’re due.  That will take care of what I need in the bottom pastures for the winter.  Then before we move the cattle back up in the spring, we can work on the rest.”

Adam looked at the map with her then stood up straight, crossing his arms as he watched her try to straighten up.  “You know sitting a saddle is only going to make it hurt worse.”

“Hogwash.  I feel better already,” she said, heading for the door.

By the time they had looked at the sheds and were back at the ranch house, Shiloh’s back had seized up to the point that she couldn’t swing her leg over Spirit’s back to dismount.  Adam dismounted and stood next to her horse.  “Are you gonna let me help you down?”

“I can…get…down,” she grunted, ending with a whimper.  She lay forward with her head against Spirit’s neck.  “Alright, I can’t get down,” she moaned.

“Roll to your left.  I’ll catch you.”

“Don’t drop me,” she muttered.

Adam chuckled.  “Roll.”   She leaned left until she felt his hands grab her and pull her into his arms.  “Do you think you can walk?”

She answered snidely, “Put my feet on the ground, and we’ll see.”

“You know, for someone who needs help you ought to be nicer to me,” teased Adam as he lowered her feet.

“See, I’m standing,” she said as she started for the front door bent over.

“Shiloh, you need a doctor.”

“No.  Just…ow…get me inside.   I think if I soak in a hot bath and then just go to bed, I’ll be alright tomorrow.”

Adam guided her inside to the sofa.  “I’ll start boiling some water for you.  Why don’t you just lay back and relax?”  She didn’t argue.  He helped her lay down and disappeared into the kitchen.

<b>Chapter Sixteen</b>

Adam waited until Shiloh came out of the back room in her robe then watched her hobble up the stairs, one step at time.  “You didn’t eat any dinner.”

“I’m not hungry,” she said feebly. “I’m just gonna go to bed.”

“If you’re not any better tomorrow, I’m sending for Dr. Martin.”

She stopped midway up the stairs, but didn’t turn around.  “I can’t afford not to be better tomorrow.  I have to get those estimates done so I can buy the materials.  If I wait, the work won’t be done before it starts snowing.”  She grunted as she began to climb the stairs again.

“I can do that for you.”

“No!”  she snapped.  “It’s my responsibility.  I’m doing it.”

“Shiloh, you…”

“Enough!   I’m having a hard enough time getting up the stairs,” she whined. “I just want to go to bed.  We can talk tomorrow.”  She stopped again and listened in the heavy quietness to his breathing.  “Please,” she said, acquiescing to his obvious concern.  “I really need to get to bed.”  Adam watched her climb to the top of the stairs and walk towards her bedroom.  “I’m fine, Adam.  I’m here.  You don’t need to stay.”

“I’ll be back first thing in the morning.”

“I’m sure you will,” she said, her words tapering off as she entered the bedroom and closed the door.

Adam came in late for dinner, shedding his gun and hat then making his way to the table.  “Sorry I’m late.  Shiloh had an accident, and I wanted to make sure she was comfortable before I left.”

Ben stopped in mid-bite.  “An accident?  Is she alright?”

“No, she’s not alright, but she’s so stubborn she wouldn’t let me send for the doctor.”

“Why’d you let that stop you?” asked Ben, glaring at Adam.

“I didn’t want to push it.  She was being obstinate, and it was obvious she was in pain.  She said she’d see the doctor tomorrow if she wasn’t any better.”

“What happened?” asked Joe.

“She fell off a ladder.”

Ben put his fork down, looking at Adam in consternation. “What was she doing on a ladder?”

Aggravated by all the questions, Adam told the whole story, knowing his father would have to hear it anyway.  Ben opened his mouth to speak, but Adam held up a finger.  “She said she was alright and insisted on riding down to the bottom land to inspect the feeding and hay sheds.  By the time we got back, she couldn’t get off her horse.  She took a hot bath and went to bed.”

“Didn’t you try to stop her from riding?” Ben asked angrily.

“Pa, do you really want to hear the details of the argument?”

Ben drew back.  “No, I guess not.”

“Anyway, I’m going back tomorrow morning to see how she’s doing.”  He looked up and answered the question written on his father’s face.  “And if she’s not any better, I’ll send for Doc Martin.”

Ben thought to himself for a moment.  “I’ll go with you.  If she won’t listen to you, she’ll have to listen to me.”

“Hey Adam, was it the same mare you said pushed her down?” asked Hoss.

“Yep.”

“Why in tarnation would she still be workin’ with her?”

“She said Spec is usually well-behaved.  She’s even had a saddle on her.  But the only two times I’ve seen her she was misbehaving.”

“Spec?  What kind of name is that for a horse?” asked Joe.

“You’d have to see the horse, Joe.   She has spots all over her hindquarters.”

“So, why not call her Spot?” laughed Joe.

“I can answer that, Little Brother,” chuckled Hoss.  “Because she ain’t a dog.”

Later that evening, Ben sat staring into the fire.  Adam was sitting in the blue chair across from him reading a book, and looking up from his book, he watched his father stare for a moment.  “Pa, she’s alright.  She climbed the stairs on her own.”

“I’m sure she is.  She’s young…resilient.”

“Then what is it?”

“If she were to have a serious accident…one where she couldn’t help herself, there’d be no one around to help her.  I’m starting to feel a little uneasy about her being there by herself.”

“You know what the argument’s gonna be if you try to tell her that, don’t you?”

Ben grunted.  “Adam, I want you to talk to Hank.  Tell him to look in on her…make sure she’s in for the night before he goes home every day.”

<b>Chapter Seventeen</b>

When Adam and Ben arrived at the Flying W, Hank’s horse was tied to the hitching rail in the yard, indicating he was already inside talking to Shiloh.   Ben knocked on the door and was about to knock again when Shiloh answered.  “Sorry, it’s taking me a little longer to get around.  Mr. Cartwright, what brings you out here this morning?”

“You do,” he said, stepping in the door after Shiloh motioned them in.  “Adam told me about your accident yesterday.”

“Adam worries too much.  I told him all I needed was a hot bath and rest.  Come on in the kitchen.  I was just going over today’s work with Hank.”

When they entered the kitchen, Hank stood, shook their hands and offered them a seat.  Shiloh moved toward the hutch, but Hank stopped her.  “Miss Shiloh, please sit down.  You look like an old lady walking around hunched over like that.  I’ll get the coffee cups.”

“I’m not hunched over,” she said, furrowing her brows at Hank, and then slightly nodding toward the Cartwrights.

“It’s no use trying to hide it, Miss Shiloh.  They ain’t blind.”

Adam pulled her chair out for her, looking at her from underneath raised eyebrows. She cocked her head and pinched her lips into a tight line.

“Shiloh, what harm would it be to take it easy for a few days?” asked Ben, coaxing her toward the chair. She dropped her head, then slowly, deliberately, made her way to the chair, easing herself down.

Adam retrieved the coffee pot from the stove.  “I still think you should let Doc Martin take a look at you,” he said as he poured a round of coffee.

“I’m better this morning.  I don’t need a doctor.”   The men all looked at her doubtfully, and she glared back.  “My kitchen, my house, my rules.”  When they all looked away shaking their heads, she picked up the ledger and smacked it down on the table in front of Adam.  “I don’t think I need to do a schedule for this work.  It all needs to be done before winter, so storing the materials is moot.  Here’s the list of materials I need, here’s the estimate of the extra money I’ll need, and here’s a list of supplies I need.  I’m ready to send someone into town if you’ll <i>approve</i> it.”  Adam took the pencil lying on the table, glanced up at his father then started going over her lists and figures.

“Shiloh, Adam tells me you had to fire Sam King,” said Ben.

She rolled her eyes and glared at the side of Adam’s head. “Hoss said he caught Sam sleeping when he was supposed to be mending fences.  He said it was late in the afternoon, and it didn’t look like Sam had done anything.   Hank had already warned him about sleeping on the job, so when I confronted him…” she took a breath, narrowing her eyes, “he said I ‘ought’n worry my pretty little head about it’.    I fired him on the spot.”

“How’d that go?”

“He said he’d leave when he spoke to Adam…that he’s the man in charge,” she said, glancing at Adam angrily.  Adam looked up from the ledger, snorted, and continued reviewing her lists.

“Go on,” said Ben calmly.

“I paid him his wages and told Hank to get him off my ranch.”

“And did he?”

“Yes, but Sam said he’d be back.  I told him if I caught him on the ranch again, I’d fill his backside with buckshot.”

“What’d he say?”

She slumped then jerked from the pain in her back. “He laughed.”

Adam looked up from the lists, joining the conversation.  “Your first mistake was to say anything after you told Hank to send him packing.  You should have let it end there.”

“I know that,” she said indignantly.

“Ah, your temper.”

Her nostrils flared.  “Have you said anything to my ranch hands?” she asked, accusingly.

Adam looked at her, confused.  “Why would I have done that?”

“I don’t know, but I have a problem with my ranch hands thinking you’re their boss.”

“Sam was just trying to rile you up,” Adam said dismissively.  “It looks like he succeeded.”

“I don’t like it,” said Ben.  “Sam’s a hothead.  He holds grudges.” Turning to Shiloh, he said, “You should have some of your hands watch the horses and the house until we find out where Sam’s gone.”

“Would you do that at the Ponderosa?”

“No, but there are four of us at the house.  And we don’t have the kind of horse flesh you have.  Your father had quite an investment in those horses.”

Shiloh nodded to Hank.  “Yes, Ma’am,” he answered.

“These numbers look reasonable,” said Adam, looking up from the lists.  Hank, you’re gonna need two buckboards to carry all the supplies and materials.  I’ll go into town with you and take care of the bills.”

When Hank excused himself to hitch the buckboards, Shiloh turned to object, but Adam stopped her with a word, “No.”

“I haven’t said anything yet,” she glowered.

“And you shouldn’t.  Pa, I’ll get the mail while I’m in town.  Do you need me to pick up anything else?”

Ben shook his head as he slightly smiled at Shiloh’s discomfiture.  It seemed Adam had her feistiness well in hand.  Adam took the lists and left, leaving Shiloh alone with Ben.

“Why don’t we go into the parlor,” Ben said as he stood up, offering Shiloh his hand.  “I’m sure you’ll be more comfortable on the sofa.”

Shiloh was in a foul mood, disliking the feeling of helplessness, and feeling even more strongly about Adam taking over, but she couldn’t be angry at Ben.  He had always treated her like one of his children, with both love and discipline.   She smiled up at him as he supported her while she slowly rose from the chair.

“Young lady, if you’re not significantly better in the next few days, I’m sending Paul over to take a look at you.”  He saw a little fire in her eyes when she glanced up at him, but quickly put it out.  “This is not up for discussion.  I’m going to ask Shaunessy to stay with you for a few days.”  He walked her into the parlor and helped her ease down on the sofa.  “I’ll go get our coffee,” he said, turning and walking back to the kitchen.  While he was there, he looked in her icebox, then in her pantry.  He opened the wood chamber in the stove and looked in before he collected the coffee cups and went back to the parlor.  He placed her coffee cup on the side table then sat next to her.  “Your icebox is empty except for milk, and your pantry looks almost the same as it did when I had it stocked.  You haven’t been eating.”

She sighed.  There was no point in arguing with him.  He had made a statement of fact, rather than asking a question, completely sure of his position…so typically Ben Cartwright.

He watched her eyes fill with tears; watched her struggle to control them.  “You have been so focused on proving you can run this ranch, that you’ve missed the most important part of all.  You have to take care of yourself first.”  He took her hand.  “You need to let yourself grieve…for all of them.”

When he put his arm around her shoulders, the flood gates opened.  “I should…have been…here,” she said between heavy sobs.

<b>Chapter Eighteen</b>

Shaunessy had been a friend of the Cartwrights for many years.  She was a single woman who earned a living by caring for the elderly or infirm.  With Shaunessy in the house, Shiloh wasn’t allowed to do much more than sit, eat and sleep, though she insisted on meeting with Hank each morning to discuss the progress of the repairs and preparations for winter.

“Hank, did you drive any cattle to market last spring? I haven’t found any entries of cattle sales in the old ledger.”

“No Ma’am, we didn’t.  Your father was pretty sick, and I didn’t wanna leave him.  The Cartwrights already had a big cattle drive to San Francisco, so we missed that opportunity.”

“Do we have steers fat enough to sell?”

“Well, yeah, they’ve had some good grazing all summer, but it’s too late now.  We’ve only got three or four more weeks of good weather.”

“What if we drove some…maybe a hundred head…into Sacramento?”

“Miss Shiloh, why are you even thinkin’ about a cattle drive?”

“Because, we haven’t had any money coming in since I got home.”  Hank sat up straight, ill at ease.  “It’s not that bad, Hank.   I would just like to keep a good balance in the account, just in case we need it.   I figure if we can get at least twenty dollars a head, that’ll give us a little cushion.  If I can sell a horse or two that would help, too.”

“It’ll probably take at least three weeks,” said Hank.

“I know, but you’ll have them in the valley by the third week, so that means you only have to worry about snow the first two weeks.   And I’ll bet we can find a buyer.   The city grocers are always fussing about not being able to get good beef in the winter.” She pushed several pieces of paper across the table.  “I’ve already looked up some of Daddy’s contacts.   Ask Billy to go into town and send these telegrams then send him back every morning to see if we have any answers.”

“I’m sure the Cartwrights could help you find a buyer.”

“Hank, not a word of this to Adam.”

“But, Miss Shiloh…”

“I don’t want Adam to know until after it’s done.  I have to convince him I can take care of this ranch before he’ll close the trust.”

“You know, your daddy always relied on being able to work things through with Mr. Cartwright.  There’s no shame in it.”

“I wouldn’t mind talking to Mr. Cartwright.  But he’s put Adam in charge of the trust, and that pretty much puts him in charge of the ranch.  He’ll say no.  He’ll say if something comes up financially, he’ll be here to help.  But Hank, if I keep having to rely on him for help, he’s never gonna close the trust.”  She absent-mindedly flipped through the stack of notes on the table.  “No, I need to make this work on my own.”

It was only another week until Shaunessy felt Shiloh would be alright on her own even though she spent much of her time fussing at Shiloh for not eating enough.  Before Shaunessy left, she filled the icebox with food and vowed to tell Adam to make sure Shiloh was eating, leaving Shiloh horrified that Adam would have one more reason to pick on her.

Then again, the matter of eating seemed quite insignificant compared to what she feared would be the subject when he knocked on the door and stomped in without waiting to be invited, carrying a telegram in his hand.  “Shiloh!”

She stood up at the desk and answered quietly.  “I’m right here.”

“Where’s Hank?”

“Why do you want Hank?”

By this time, Adam was glaring at her from the other side of the desk.  “Did you send Hank to Sacramento with a hundred head of beef?”

She realized there was no point in denying it, and refusing to cower, she stood up straight, sticking her chin out.  “Yes, I did.  I found a buyer who was willing to pay twenty-five dollars a head for fresh beef for the winter.”

Adam turned his back to her, putting his hands on his hips, rolling from heel to toe and back as he looked up at the ceiling.  She grimaced, recognizing this stance from the last time she witnessed an argument between him and his father.

He finally turned back around, sounding calmer, but the strain was still apparent on his face.  “Where exactly do you expect Hank to find water after he gets past the Truckee?  It’s late in the year, and all the feeder streams are dry.”

“I didn’t send them across the Truckee,” she said obstinately.  “I sent them down by the American.  They’ll have water all the way into Sacramento.  Plus, once they get over the summit, it’s downhill all the way.  The cattle should be in excellent shape when they arrive.”

Adam’s mouth dropped open in disbelief.  “Shiloh, there’s no way Hank’s gonna be able to drive those cattle down by Johnson’s Cutoff.  He has to get them over the summit first, and then that trail is narrow all the way down.”

“That’s why I only sent a hundred head.  He’ll be driving them down the road, and Hank said there are meadows along the route he can use for grazing.  How do you know about this anyway?”

“That’s beside the point…”

“Adam, Hank sent word with the stage driver that they’ve already gotten to the meadow above Strawberry.  They’ve made it over the summit.   He said everything is fine.”

“They still have to make it all the way down.”

“Don’t you think I know that?   He’s probably already at Slippery Ford.  They’ll cross the river at Moore’s Station.  The water will be slow since it’s the end of summer.  After that, they’re only three or four days from Placerville and after Placerville another three or four days from Sacramento.”

“You realize no one’s ever done this before.”

“That’s because you always drive five hundred or more head of cattle, and I agree, Johnson’s Cutoff wouldn’t work.  We didn’t have a cattle drive this year, and I needed to sell some of those steers to have a cushion in my account.”  She could tell he was still angry. His nostrils were flared, and he had that expressionless look he got when he was mad.  She continued, quietly and calmly.  “I still have enough men here to finish the work on the fences and the sheds, and if it snows before Hank and the men get back, they’ll just follow the stagecoach.  If the stagecoach has to stop, they’ll stop, too, until the road is cleared.”  She stopped, standing with her hands folded in front of her waiting for his reaction, hoping he wasn’t too furious to listen, but understanding his anger.  She had done an end run around him.  She didn’t want to think about what he would have done if this hadn’t worked.

He exhaled, walked a few steps away then turned back around to face her.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you would have said no.”

“If you had explained all this to me beforehand, I would have listened.”

“But you would still have said no because it was something you hadn’t done and known that it would work.   You wouldn’t have been willing to take the risk with someone else’s cattle.  I was willing to take the risk for myself.”  They stood looking at each other for a moment until Shiloh asked, “How did you find out?”

“One of our buyers in Sacramento is questioning why we’ve never had a late drive.  He said they’d appreciate fresh beef for the winter.”

“So when this works, you have a way to sell more beef later in the year.”

“We don’t have to be reckless to sell beef.”

Shiloh steamed.  “You just can’t admit that I had a good idea, can you?”

“You had a reckless idea.”  He threw the telegram on the desk.  “This is not the way to convince me that you can handle this ranch.”

Shiloh’s eyes grew wide.  “Oh, you’re angry with me for taking a risk and making it work?  You’re just mad because you didn’t figure this out yourself.  Talk about egos,” she yelled.  “And you have the nerve to tell me that Will has a huge ego.  Have you looked at yours in the mirror lately?”

“The difference between Will and me is that he’s only interested in what he wants.  I’m trying to look out for you.”

Shiloh stormed to the front door, swinging it open, causing the door knob to hit the far wall with a loud thunk.  “Fine.  Look out for me from a distance.”

<b>Chapter Nineteen</b>

After Adam left, Shiloh went back to the study, sat down propping her elbows on the desk and buried her face in her hands.  Miss Anderson’s words haunted her; <i>No one will take you seriously…</i>  She had gotten so good at keeping her temper at bay while she was away. Now, just the thought of Adam could ruin her day if she let it.  She pulled her father’s letter out of the lap drawer of the desk, removed it carefully from the envelope and read it again.   <i> …Ben and Adam both know the business of ranching.  Listen to them.  Trust them as your mother, your brother and I have trusted them.  As for Micah…</i>

She walked out to the front porch, leaned against a post and looked at the top of the hill where she could see all three headstones of cold, white granite reflecting the ghostly light of the cold, dead moon. <i>Mama, Micah and you, Daddy; how do you expect me to trust him? </i>

Adam didn’t say a word at dinner and now, sitting on the front porch, staring out into the blackness of the night, he had gotten nowhere with his thoughts.  She had been right.  He wouldn’t have allowed her to send Hank with those cattle to Sacramento this late in the year.  They were his responsibility.  But had it been his own idea for the Ponderosa, would he have done it?  She had done her due diligence, making sure there was water, making sure there was grazing, and being fairly sure that Hank could get those cattle low enough to avoid any early snows.  Why was he so angry with her?

Ben walked out to the porch and leaned against the post beside the table where Adam was sitting without Adam taking notice.  When Ben spoke, Adam jerked his head toward him in surprise. “From your mood, I gather your conversation with Shiloh didn’t go well.”

“Aside from the fact that she practically threw me out of house, we both stated our points quite well.”

“She stood up to you?”

“She’s never had a problem standing up to me.”

“Well, in the past, you were usually teaching her a lesson.  Why do I have the feeling that this time, she might be teaching you one?”

“What lesson would that be?”

“That she’s perfectly capable of taking care of that ranch.”  Ben took a breath.  “Son, if you were in her position…without a ranch trustee, but if you needed to move some cattle, or maybe needed to increase your balance to a minimum you were comfortable with and had no one else to answer to…if the idea came to you, or was presented to you and you came up with all the ways it would work that Shiloh has…would you do it?”

Adam winced, looking up into the night sky, chewing restlessly on a match stick.  “Probably.”

“So what’s really bothering you?”

“She should have talked to me about it first.”

“Why would she?  You wouldn’t have allowed it.”

Adam leaned back in his chair, stretched his legs out and crossed them at the ankles while he clasped his hands behind his head.   “She doesn’t trust me.”

“Really?  Is this something new?”

Adam scratched behind his ear. “No.  She hasn’t trusted me since she left school…and it got worse when Micah died.”

“Seems to me you ought to be working on that instead of going over her books,” said Ben as he squeezed Adam’s shoulder and walked back inside the house.

<b>Chapter Twenty</b>

Adam stood leaning against a tree with Sport quietly grazing behind him, watching while Shiloh worked with another horse. This one was a young black horse, like Max, with a long, luxurious mane, tail and feathers.    She had put this horse in the pen that her father had rounded with tall, pine posts in each of the corners.

She stood in the middle of the pen, first making eye contact, and then throwing out the rope she was holding, causing the horse to move away from her around the circle created by the pine posts.  He resisted at first, rearing.   Adam had seen her father do this when he first started training a horse.  She had done the same thing for almost an hour, when the young stallion stopped and faced her, head bowed, and slowly walked toward her, stopping in front of her.  Shiloh scratched his nose.  She dropped her eyes to the ground and waved the horse back to the fence, making eye contact again, but this time instead of the rope she used a carriage whip, trailing it behind him until he was walking around the pen without resistance.   She dropped the whip behind her, holding his eyes, and whistled.  The horse did nothing, so Shiloh picked up the rope and tossed it behind him.  The horse took several steps away, then faced her, lowering his head again and walking to her.  Shiloh whistled as he approached her, gave the horse a scratch on the snout and a carrot, then turned to leave the pen. The horse followed her to the gate and whickered as she walked away to the house.

Adam collected Sport and walked into the yard.  When he knocked on the door, he heard Shiloh call, “Come in.”

He stepped in, laid his hat on the entry table next to the door and walked to the study where Shiloh was writing in what looked like a journal.  Without looking up, she said, “Hello, Adam.  How long were you out there watching me?”

“At least I was watching from a distance,” he said, smiling hopefully. “From the beginning.  Looks like you’re father’s training technique is going well.”

“Not quite.  Eli is the fourth horse I’ve tried.  Even though Daddy taught me how to do this, it was over seven years ago, and it’s not written down.  So, I’m struggling to remember every detail.  This time, though, I’m writing it down as I go.”  She finished writing, closed the journal, and looked up.  “I should apologize for losing my temper the last time you were here.”

“You don’t need to apologize.   After thinking about it, you were right.  I would have taken the same risk you did had the tables been turned.  So, I’d like to make it up to you by taking you into town for lunch.”

Narrowing her eyes, she studied his face, allowing a slow smile.  “I do have to go into town today, but would you mind if we took the buggy?   I’ve only ridden close to the ranch, and sometimes by the end of the day my back is still sore.  I don’t want to push it with a long ride.”

Adam grinned.  “I’ll go put Sport in the barn and hitch the buggy.”

She stood up and walked around the desk.   “I’ll go change out of these britches.  I’ll be down shortly.” By the time Shiloh appeared on the front porch in a skirt and long-sleeved blouse, Adam had settled Sport in the barn and was just finished hitching the buggy.

Her cape was draped over her arm, and when Adam approached her, he took the cape and draped it over her shoulders.  “It’s time for one of these isn’t it?  There’s a definite nip in the air.”   He helped her into the buggy, and as he reined the horses out of the yard, she covered her head with the hood of the cape.

“It feels like the temperature is dropping today.”  She looked up at the sky, turning around and looking behind them.  “Do we have time to go to town and back before that gets here?” she asked, pointing at the roiling clouds off in the distance behind them.

“I’ve been watching that all morning.  It’s moving slow, but it’s probably going to be our first storm.  I don’t think it will be here for another day.”  He looked over, wondering how to proceed with a conversation that wouldn’t set her off.   “What will you be doing in town today?”

“I have to go by the assessor’s office and pay the property taxes.  Daddy missed a tax payment when he was sick, but Mr. Bailey, the assessor, didn’t do anything knowing that he was sick, thinking that the ranch might be sold.  I’d like to take him one of Sallie Byrnes’ pies as a thank you.  I know he didn’t have to do that.  Then I need to go by the bank and make a deposit, and I need to check the mail.  I’m expecting Hank back from Sacramento any day now…” she turned and looked back at the sky again, “unless that storm has caught him.”

Adam thought he misheard her about making a deposit, wondering how she could be making a deposit if Hank wasn’t back.  “A deposit?”

“Yes, I sold some horses to three gentlemen who came from San Francisco.  I hope they missed that storm.”  Adam furrowed his brow.  “I have some horses that Daddy already had trained, so I went through his contacts and sent some telegrams.  I’ve received several answers back from people anxious to get their hands on an Amos Whitney trained horse, including these three men.  They purchased a gelding, same breed as Max, and a black mare, sired from Max and a black Arabian dam.  I won’t sell any of the black stallions or mares.  Daddy went to a great deal of trouble and expense to import those horses and then breed them.  If someone wants one, they have to come to me, but they won’t get a pure bred stallion or mare.  They also took two of the palominos.”

Adam realized his father was right.  She didn’t need him to show her how to run the ranch.  And whether he wanted to admit it out loud or not, she had a good head for business.  She was comfortable with taking a risk, but would do the necessary research to make it worthwhile.

After Shiloh had completed her errands and picked up her mail, Adam escorted her to the International House restaurant.  She noticed that whenever she was there with Adam, the host would immediately seat them. But then, she knew being a Cartwright had its advantages.

“Adam, I don’t mean to be rude, but I’d really like to know where Hank is.  Would you mind if I open my mail?”

“Only if you won’t find it rude if I open mine?”

She snickered.  “Would you like to be the pot or the kettle?”  Adam laughed, remembering their first disagreement after she had gotten home.

“Edwin!” they said in unison.

“You got one, too?” asked Shiloh.

“He says he’ll be coming to Virginia City in a few weeks,” said Adam.  “Doesn’t he know the travel will be bad?”  Adam read on and didn’t tell Shiloh that Edwin was coming specifically to see her.

“Mine says he’s preparing for a spring opening in San Francisco and going through the summer.  He must be bringing Mary and his daughter, Edwina, with him.” She looked up from her telegram.  “Why in the world would he be coming to Virginia City?”   She laughed.  “Does he miss me?”

Adam just smiled.  “Probably.”

“This one’s from Hank.  He says they should be back over the summit on Thursday.”  She looked up anxiously.  “That’s today.  That could put him at odds with this storm.”

Adam reached for her hand, and when he covered it with his, Shiloh sucked in a quiet breath at the unexpected touch and warmth of his hand.  “Hank won’t push on if he doesn’t feel comfortable.  They’ll stay at Lapham’s down by the lake.  That’ll put him about a half day’s ride away.  You shouldn’t worry,” assured Adam.

The two had a pleasant lunch, a departure from their prior meals together.  Adam thought this would be their first civil day since she had returned home until they left the hotel on the way to the buggy.  Adam left Shiloh on the boardwalk while he retrieved it, but before he returned, Shiloh saw Tommy Baker come out of the saloon two doors down, look up and down the street, then walk toward her.  She looked down, hoping he wouldn’t remember her from school.

“Well, if it isn’t Miss Shiloh ‘Troublemaker’ Whitney come home from exile.”  Shiloh took a deep breath, looking flatly at Tommy without remark.  Tommy walked around her, poring over her.  “All grown up.  I wonder if you’re as much trouble now as you were back then.”

She knew she should ignore him, but she couldn’t resist. “I guess they still call you Tommy because you’re still a sniveling little boy.”  Tommy grabbed her arm, pulling her close to his face, but before he could say anything else, they both heard Adam.

“Tom, let her go.”

Tommy turned to leer at Adam.  He pushed Shiloh away then stood in the street facing Adam.  “Why do you care?  You started all of this.”

“I didn’t start it, Tom.  You’re the one that spread a malicious rumor.  I finished it.”

“Yeah, and now not one respectable outfit is willing to hire me.”  Tommy removed the leather strap holding his gun in its holster.

“You did that to yourself.  Spreading rumors as a kid is one thing.  But as an adult, Tom, it’s just plain stupid.”

“Draw, Cartwright.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Drunk enough not to be scared.”

“Tom, don’t.  Let us just be on our way.”

“Are you a coward, Cartwright?”

“I just don’t wanna hurt you.”

Shiloh objected loudly, “Both of you stop!”   Her plea fell on deaf ears; neither man took his eyes off the other.

Tommy went for his gun.  Shiloh sucked in a breath and felt a sickening feeling lurch in her gut.

<b>Chapter Twenty-One</b>

Shiloh stood on the boardwalk with her hands in front of her face.  It had happened so fast, she wasn’t sure she had even seen Adam draw his gun, but he was standing there with his gun pointing at Tommy, Tommy’s gun not halfway out of its holster.

Tommy’s eyes were full of fury, but there was nothing he could do or would do that looked in any way menacing while looking down the barrel of Adam Cartwright’s gun.  He dropped his gun back in its holster and slowly backed away without saying another word, knowing full well he was still alive because it had been Adam Cartwright that he called out.  Another man would have pulled the trigger.

Shiloh watched as Tommy Baker disappeared on the other side of the street, and when Adam came up to her, taking her hands, she was still shaking, looking at him with horror in her eyes.   Adam felt sure he knew what she was thinking; that her repulsion had nothing to do with what she just witnessed, but rather everything to do with Micah.

He felt how tense she was as he led her to the buggy, almost picking her up and placing her in the seat.  He climbed in on the other side and headed back to the Flying W.   As he drove, the headwind got stronger and stronger, until Adam had to remove his hat to prevent it from blowing away.  The horses had become skittish giving him no measure to pay attention to Shiloh.  He kept a tight rein on them, fighting to keep them moving toward the ranch.

When they arrived, he got out of the buggy still holding the reins, opened the doors of the barn, and pulled the horses and buggy inside, closing the doors behind them.  Once inside, he was able to calm the horses.  Then he went back to Shiloh.

She turned and stared at him, meeting his eyes, breathing heavily, but evenly.  Finally, she spoke.  “Were you that fast twelve years ago?”

“It wouldn’t have mattered.  Micah was always faster.”

Shiloh started out of the buggy, but when Adam held out his hand, she pulled back.  “I think you’d better go,” she said, walking toward the barn door.

“I’ll just unhitch the horses, and then be on my way,” answered Adam stoically.   He had already known that once she saw a gunfight, and he knew she eventually would, all her anger about Micah would come rushing back.   He hadn’t counted on it being him in the gunfight, and that just made it worse for her.  He knew all he could do was leave and start again from square one another day.  He stood in the barn door watching her fight the wind as she made her way to the house.

As he was unhitching the horses, a gust of wind rattled the barn.  Then he heard a loud crack, like a shot gun blast, followed by a loud boom.   Hurrying to the barn door, he opened it and looked out, then quickly closed it behind him and ran to the house.   The huge ponderosa pine that stood next to the house had fallen over the chimney, collapsing it along with most of the side wall and roof over the parlor.

“Shiloh!” he shouted, standing in the entry way.  He got no response.  He rushed into the parlor, lit a lamp, and started looking for her.  The tree had sent rocks and mortar from the fireplace, pieces of wood and glass showering over the room.  The piano had collapsed under the full weight of the tree and splintered into pieces.  When he found Shiloh lying under rubble tangled in the limbs of the tree, he carefully pulled her out of the parlor, then dashed outside, throwing the doors of the barn open.  After re-hitching the horses and slowly backing them out of the barn, trying to keep them calm in the gale, he tied Sport to the back, went back into the house, and came back out with Shiloh in his arms, gently placing her in the seat.

When Adam ran into the Ponderosa house with her in his arms, Ben, Hoss and Joe all ran to meet him. “What happened?” asked Ben anxiously.

“She was in the parlor when a tree fell on the house,” answered Adam.

“Joe, ride into town and get the doctor,” said Ben.  “Hoss, get some hot water started.”  Ben collected bottles and bandages and followed Adam up the stairs.  By the time Joe arrived with Dr. Martin, Shiloh was in the bed with Ben dabbing a wet cloth on the cuts on her arms and head.

“Boys, you’ll need to leave while I take a look at her.  Ben, I’d like you to stay and help, please.  What did she tangle with?”

“A tree…and a house.”

“I can’t wait to hear that one, but later.  Do you have a nightshirt she can wear?”

“I’ll find something,” Ben said as he left the room.

Dr. Martin began to remove her clothing, examining her as he went.  Ben was back in only a few minutes with one of Joe’s nightshirts. “It’s a little big for her, but it should do.”  He helped the doctor get her changed and settled in the bed.

“Alright, Ben.  Why don’t you go on downstairs?  I’ll be down in a few minutes,” said Dr. Martin as he began to bandage her head.

Ben sat in the leather chair leaning forward with his hands clasped together.  All the other Cartwrights were pacing somewhere; in the living area, in front of the desk, and in the entry way when Dr. Martin came down the stairs.  They all rushed over encircling him.

“Well, gentlemen,” he started.  “I’m sure she has a concussion. She has some cuts and bruises, but the worst of those is a bad gash on her scalp.  I’ve cleaned it and bandaged it.   Her breathing and pulse are normal so that’s a good sign.  I think she’ll sleep for a while, but I’d like someone to sit with her around the clock.”

“Paul, is she gonna be alright?” asked Adam.

“With a head injury, you never know.  She could be unconscious for a few hours, but then she might not wake up for a long time.  We just don’t know enough about the human brain to know what to expect.  That’s why I want you to watch her.  I need to know as soon as she wakes up.”  As Ben walked the doctor to the front door, the doctor gave him instructions to change her bandage.

When Ben was back in the house, Adam began to explain what had happened in detail.  “We’re going to have to get the house covered somehow.  The whole side wall is collapsed, and snow and rain are gonna pour in,” finished Adam.

“We’re not gonna do anything ‘til this storm blows over,” said Hoss, looking out the window.

Ben and his sons took turns sitting with Shiloh as she slept peacefully while a storm raged outside.  She slept for four days before she began to stir.  Adam was with her when she moved her head from side to side, groaning.  He went to the door of the bedroom and yelled for Joe.  “Joe, she’s coming to.  Ride into town for the doctor.”

“On my way!” Joe said, bolting to the coat rack for his gear.  A few seconds later, the heavy door slammed behind him.

Ben came upstairs and found Adam sitting on the edge of the bed wiping her forehead with a damp cloth.  She raised her hand and pushed his away.  She didn’t open her eyes; she just groaned and placed her hand on her head.

“Shiloh?”  Adam asked, holding his breath.

“Hm.”

He let the breath back out and smiled.  “You’re back.”

“Back from where?” she mumbled.  “If feel like my head’s about to split open.”

“You got hit on the head.”

“No kidding.”

“Dr. Martin is on his way to take a look at you.  Maybe he can give you something for your headache.”

“That would be nice,” she whispered.

Dr. Martin left a bottle of medicine to help relieve Shiloh’s headache and prescribed complete rest.  He didn’t want her up and about until he was sure she was ready.   “If she feels well enough to sit down stairs that’s fine, but she’s not to handle those stairs by herself.”  When Dr. Martin left, Adam went back to her room.  She was asleep again and would probably sleep for a while.  He closed the door and went back downstairs.

<b>Chapter Twenty-Two</b>

Adam came into the Shiloh’s room with a tray of breakfast.  “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Better, I think.  I didn’t wake up with a headache.  Adam, in all the confusion, I never asked if Hank got back alright.”

“They had to stay at Lapham’s like I thought.  They were back the day after the storm broke.  He came to see you.  Don’t you remember?”

She thought, creasing her eyebrows.  “No.  I don’t remember.  I don’t even remember you bringing my clothes,” she said, looking down at her own nightgown.

“Don’t worry about it.  Paul said you might forget some things right after you woke up.  You weren’t completely with us for a few days.”

I’d really like to get out of this bed before I go mad.  I could use some sunshine.”

“Eat your breakfast.  Then we’ll talk about it.” Adam turned to leave.  “I’ll be back up in a little while.  I’ve got some paperwork to do.”

When Adam came back to retrieve her tray, he brought her a book to read.  “I thought you might like to try this, though I don’t know if you’re ready.  Paul said your vision might be blurry for a while.”

She thanked him and waited until he had closed the door, then threw her blanket off and swung her feet off the bed.  She sat for a few minutes waiting for the dizziness to pass, then, with book in hand, slowly stood, making her way to the chair sitting next to the window.  She opened the book and quickly put it away, unable to bring any of the words, even the title, into focus.  She resigned herself to watching the world outside her window, beckoning her to come out and play.

Later that afternoon, when she’d had enough of sitting and staring out the window, she decided she would venture out, making her way down the stairs on her own.  She stood at the top of the stairs looking down while waves of dizziness almost took over.  She waited for the lightheadedness to pass and, leaning on the banister, she took one step at a time, making her way down.

Adam was walking in from the kitchen and saw her on the stairs.  “What are you doing?” he said as he went up the steps to her.   He picked her up and brought her down into the living area, setting her in the blue chair. “You’re not supposed to take those stairs by yourself,” he scolded.

“I’m tired of being an invalid.  I need to start doing things for myself,” Shiloh answered.

“How would you like to eat dinner at the table tonight then?  It’s almost ready.”

Shiloh rubbed her forehead and smiled.  She was beginning to feel a familiar dull thud. “I think I’ll just sit here and see if this headache goes away.”

Ben, Joe and Hoss came in the front door stomping the snow off their boots.   “Hey, look who’s out of the bed,” said Ben.  “How do you feel?” he asked, reaching down to take her hand.

“A little woozy, but it feels good to be up,” she said, smiling.

Hop Sing announced dinner, and they all gathered in the dining room.  Ben took Shiloh’s arm escorting her in while Adam pulled her chair out for her.  Her headache was gone for the moment.  After grace, Ben asked the boys about their work for the day.  It included the normal problems that come with winter; cows that had to be pulled out of the muck and fences that were downed by snowdrifts.

“Has anyone spoken to Hank?” Shiloh asked. “I’d like to find out how the Flying W is doing.”

Hoss answered, “I spoke to Hank yesterday.  He says there’s a couple of problems, but nothin’ unusual and nothin’ he can’t take care of.”

“What about my house?  No one’s told me anything about my house.”

The Cartwrights exchanged solemn glances.   Adam spoke first.  “Shiloh, the chimney came down with the wall and roof.” He paused.  “We put up a temporary wall and patched the roof.  That’ll last until spring when we can rebuild it.”

Shiloh put her fork down and held her hands in her lap, her head bowed.  “My mother’s piano?”

Adam remembered how he felt he had intruded when she played that first day back home.  He knew the piano was an important part of her.  He put his fork down and turned in his chair to face her with his hand on the back of her chair.  “Shiloh, the tree landed on the piano,” he said quietly.  “It was splintered into pieces.  I’m sorry.”

She sat silently thinking about what she would do without the piano.  It was her mother’s piano; the last thing she had of her.  It had been Belle’s when she was a little girl, and it was the one piece of furniture that her parents brought with them from Alabama.  It had saved her during times of pain and loneliness.  Her lip and chin began to quiver as she fought back the tears.

“Shiloh,” Adam continued.  “We can get you another piano.”

Shiloh stumbled through her words.  “You can never replace that piano.”   Tears started to fall to her lap, and she held herself together just long enough to excuse herself from the table.  She walked into the entry way and looked around her, then went out the front door to the porch.  It was cold outside, but she didn’t feel it.

All of them started to stand.  “She can’t stay out there,” Ben said.

Adam left the table and walked to the front door, taking his and his father’s coat from the coat rack then walking outside.  Shiloh was standing with her arms folded around her, sobbing and swaying, grabbing at a post to keep from falling over.  Adam walked up behind her and put Ben’s coat over her shoulders.  He let her cry for a moment before he spoke.  “Shiloh, I’m sorry about the piano.  But you need to come inside.  It’s too cold for you out here.”

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry.  You don’t have any idea what that piano was to me.”

“I do have an idea,” Adam said sadly.

“I used to play that piano for Daddy; he missed my mother so terribly.  Then after Micah died, I played it to forget.  And when I came home, I played it to remember.”  Adam reached out for her, but she stepped away. “No, don’t touch me,” she cried.  “If it hadn’t been for you, I could at least have said goodbye.”

Adam opened his mouth and furrowed his brow.  He knew how she felt about Micah’s death, but this was something more. “Shiloh, I don’t understand.” He reached for her again, following as she stepped away, catching her when she began to collapse, then carrying her into the house. He set her down on the settee, and sat beside her.  Ben walked over from the dinner table and sat on the other side of her.

“You’ve been holding something back since you came home.  Tell me, please,” said Adam.

Ben handed her a handkerchief, and she blew her nose, sitting between them in tears.  “When my mother died, I remember you holding me in your lap in the parlor.  I begged you to let me down so I could go see her.  Then you just stood there when Micah was shot.  I remember listening to you tell Daddy what happened when you came to get him that night, and then you drew your gun so fast in town against Tommy Baker.”  She stood up and turned to face him, speaking between her sobs. “You sent me to college when my father could have taught me everything I needed to know about running the ranch.  I could have had seven more years with him.  I could have been here to say…” she stopped, her sobs taking over, “goodbye,” she whispered as she sank to the coffee table, wrapping her arms around herself.

“I…I never saw it that way.” Adam glanced up at his father then lowered his head, having no idea what to say to give her any comfort.  Everything she said was true.  He had been involved with all of them in some way that prevented her from saying goodbye to any of them.  Now all she had were their graves and her father’s letter.  She had asked him to get it out of her desk drawer and bring it over when he brought her ledgers.  Now, she pulled it out of the pocket of her robe and held it.

“I’ve been trying to do what Daddy asked.  I don’t know if I can,” she said, still crying, handing Adam the letter.  He took it out of the envelope and read it, then folded it and put it back.

“Shiloh,” began Ben.  “Your mother didn’t want you to see her the way she was when she died.  She wanted you to remember her before she was ill.  Even if you had gotten away from Adam, your father wouldn’t have allowed you in the bedroom.  Your father said the same thing.  He was relieved that you wouldn’t see him as he was when he was ill.  And Micah and Adam both did what they were taught to do as men, what we all would do.  I know it may seem barbaric, but it’s the way civilized men live in an uncivilized world when the law just isn’t far reaching enough.”

Shiloh took her father’s letter and put it back in her pocket then took Adam’s hand. He placed his other hand over hers.  “All I can do is try,” she said through quiet tears.

<b>Chapter Twenty-Three</b>

It only took a few more weeks for Shiloh to improve to the point that she could venture outside alone. The dizzy spells had disappeared, and she was almost back to normal.   The snow in the lower elevations was melting, and the ground was still muddy where there was no snow.  Spirit had been brought over to the Ponderosa so Shiloh could ride to the Flying W to check in with Hank, make sure the herd was in good shape, and any damages from the winter snows were being repaired.   She began working with her horses again as well.

Her house was still not ready, though Adam had ordered all the materials.  Shiloh had told him that she hated that the room was so dark, that it felt gloomy after Micah’s death, so Adam ordered two additional windows and drew plans to make the room larger.

This afternoon, Shiloh rode into the yard of the Ponderosa on one of the black stallions.  Adam came out of the house, hearing her ride in.  “You’re riding Max these days?” asked Adam.

Shiloh smiled.  “This isn’t Max.  It’s Eli.”

“You’re kidding.  The last time I saw you with Eli, you had just started him.  You hadn’t even had a halter on him.”

“Well, once you get them past that first part, the rest goes pretty quickly.   I’ve been working on Eli’s gait today.  We went into town and got the mail,” she said as she turned toward her saddlebag, reached in and pulled out a handful of envelopes.  “I picked up the Ponderosa mail while I was there.  I hope that was alright.”

Shiloh handed Adam all the mail, then swung her leg over Eli’s back, standing with one foot in the stirrup.  She grabbed the horn and back of the saddle, took her foot out of the stirrup, and slid down the side until she was close enough to the ground to gently drop.

Adam stood with one arm crossed and the other up with his hand over his mouth hiding his grin, trying not to laugh out loud at the sight of her less than graceful dismount.

When she turned, she looked up at him.  Though he was hiding his grin well, his eyes gave him away. “Don’t laugh.  He’s a big horse.”

“How do you get up?” he asked, finally just letting his laugh happen.

“I have to stand on something.  Before I get down, I look around to make sure there’s something I can stand on close by.”

Adam looked around the yard.  “Well, I’m sure we can find something around here for you to stand on.”

“You’ll do,” she said, taking the mail from him, heading to the table on the front porch, and smiling mischievously without looking back.  She separated the Ponderosa mail from the Flying W mail then patted the table where she laid his, summoning him over.

Both of them picked up a telegram and said together, “Edwin!”  They looked at each other, both thinking how familiar that particular chorus had become.

“Edwin’s on his way,” said Shiloh.  And he’s bringing Annie with him.”  Her mouth twisted and her brow furrowed.

“What’s wrong?  Don’t you want to see Annie?”

“Yes, but I don’t have a place for her to stay.   The house isn’t livable right now.”

Adam smiled.  “She can stay here.”

“You don’t think your father would mind, do you?”  She laughed as Adam rolled his eyes.  “No, I suppose he wouldn’t, would he?  What does yours say?”

“Not much other than he’ll be leaving San Francisco for Virginia City after he gets his family settled in.”  Adam thought it better not tell her the reason Edwin was coming to Virginia City, his motives being suspicious having stated it twice now in his letters and saying nothing in hers.  At first, Adam feared Edwin would leave Virginia City sorely disappointed when he couldn’t convince Shiloh to sing, but then, he thought Edwin must know she might not.  “What does yours say?”

“He says he’s coming to audition some potential new talent for his plays, and he wants to make sure Annie arrives safely.  They’ll be arriving on the Friday stagecoach.”

Ben walked out of the house to the porch.  “I was hoping you’d be back,” he said, touching Shiloh’s shoulder.  “Lunch is almost ready.”

While at lunch, Joe brought up the dance being held Friday.  “Shiloh, I know you haven’t been to a dance since you got back.  It’d be my pleasure to take you,” said Joe, winking.   Adam shot him a piqued look.

“Joe,” she answered, surprised.  “I don’t know.  Annie Walters and Edwin Booth, my friends from Boston, are coming in on the Friday stage.  I think it will depend on whether they’d like to go.  It would be rude of me to leave them.”

“If they’re not too tired, why don’t we all go?” suggested Hoss.

Adam nodded.  “That’s a good idea.  I think Edwin would like it.”  He turned to Shiloh, “Do you suppose Annie will be up for it?”

“Probably,” she answered reservedly.   Adam noted her hesitation.

After lunch, Shiloh quickly excused herself saying she needed to get Eli back to the Flying W and work with another horse.  Adam and Joe left to look at the dam on the pond in the eastern most pasture.  One of hands had reported that the pond was overfilling, and that he had tried to close the gate, but it was stuck.  The pond was on the border shared by the Flying W.

When Shiloh had Eli back in his paddock, she saddled Spec.  She had been riding Spec for the last week with no problems, so she decided to work on her gait today, riding toward the eastern bottom land where there had been no snow.

Adam and Joe were already at the pond climbing over the dam, reaching down into the murky water trying to release the gate.  They stopped and watched Shiloh off in the distance working with the horse.  She walked the horse, and just as she began to trot, Shiloh leaned back in the saddle, pulling back on the reins.  This slowed the horse down, but then Shiloh released the reins so the mare would start walking faster.  Then again, if she started a trot, Shiloh reined her in.

“What’s she doing to that horse?” asked Joe.

“I read some of her notes,” said Adam.  “Seems she has to work with them like that to strengthen their hind and top muscles in order for them to use the correct gait.  She said their power is in their hind legs, and if they’re balanced and using their hind and top muscles, their gait is much smoother.”

“How would she know if her gait is right if she’s riding her?”

“By the way her head moves; up and down, instead of side to side.”

Joe looked over at Adam.  “So, when are you gonna start training horses?”

Adam raised his hands level with his shoulders.  “I’m just repeatin’ what I read in Shiloh’s journals.  I’ve never ridden one of her horses, so I don’t know that it even makes a difference.”

Shiloh walked Spec over to the pond for a drink, but when they got closer, Spec broke into a full run.  “Whoa!” yelled Shiloh as she dug in her knees and pulled back on the reins.  It didn’t matter what she did, Spec ran…toward Adam.  Joe and Adam were standing in calf deep water behind the gate, wide-eyed, watching the horse charge them.  When the horse hit the water, she didn’t slow down…until she was at the dam, where she stopped dead, sending Shiloh over her head, over the dam, and into the water between Joe and Adam.

Shiloh jumped to her feet, soaked from head to toe, spitting muddy water out of her mouth and glaring at Spec.  “That does it!  If you wanna be a cow pony, so be it!”

Both Adam and Joe turned to take Shiloh’s arms, and as she was waving them off, she fell backwards into the water again.  She glared up at Adam.  “It’s you!”

“What’s me?” he asked, helping her to her feet.

“She doesn’t do this unless you’re around.  It’s you!”

Adam smiled nervously.  “You’re not saying she does that because of me?”

“Yes, I am,” said Shiloh, out of breath.  “She’s showing off for you, and she’s trying to make a fool out of me.”

Adam tried to stifle his laugh, and Joe was already walking away, holding his sides.  “So, you’re saying…” he laughed, but tried to stop, “…that the horse is in love with me, is that it?” By this time, Adam and Joe were both in all out laughter.   Shiloh’s face was twisted in fury.  She climbed over the dam, took Spec’s reins, and slogged out of the water, walking away, mumbling.  By the time Adam and Joe stood up straight, Shiloh had almost gotten to the hill in the distance, walking the horse.

“Adam, you better go make sure she gets home alright with the horse,” said Joe, snickering.

“No, it’ll be safer if you go.   The horse isn’t interested in you,” he said, laughing again.

<b>Chapter Twenty-Four</b>

Shiloh sat quietly at dinner listening to the Cartwrights talk about their work day.  She didn’t look up from her plate, not wanting to meet Joe or Adam’s eyes after they witnessed Spec at her finest.

Ben had seen her ride in with Joe, soaked from head to toe and covered in mud, and while Joe took care of her horse, she went straight to the bath house.  She had asked Hop Sing to bring down her clothes, and when she came out one would never have known that she had taken a mud bath.

She thought she was going to get out of the evening unscathed by the events of the day, until Joe opened his mouth.  “You know, Adam, I think Shiloh’s right about that horse. Spec was very well behaved on the way home,” he said, smiling at Shiloh.

“Well, Little Brother, that’s only because I was nowhere in sight,” Adam chuckled, glancing over at Shiloh.  She didn’t look up, but rather sat biting the inside of her cheek, smoldering.

Ben looked up from his plate, glancing first at Joe, then at Adam.  “What’s this about?”

Adam looked over at Shiloh, his eyes twinkling, as if asking permission to tell the story.  She wiped her mouth and placed her napkin next to her relatively untouched plate.  “If you’ll excuse me, I don’t care to relive the afternoon.”

As she started to rise from her chair, Adam looked up at her remorsefully.  “Shiloh, we don’t have to talk about it.  You should finish your dinner.”

She glanced back without meeting anyone’s eyes.  “I’m not really hungry,” she said as she hurried into the sitting area.

Adam went after her.  “Shiloh, we didn’t mean anything by it.   It’s just that the thought of…”  He stopped when her saw her glare, warning him that she didn’t want to hear it again.

Rather than it ending, Joe spoke up, feigning innocence.  “Shiloh, you have to admit, it is kinda funny they way that horse seems to act when Adam’s around.”

“What are we talking about?” asked Ben.

“When we were out looking at the gate over in the east pasture pond, Shiloh was working with one of her horses.”  He stopped, looked at Shiloh, then back at his father with a wide grin.  “The horse took off, ran straight into the pond without slowing down, and ran right up to Adam, then stopped.”

“Stopped from a run?” asked Ben alarmed.

“Yeah, Pa, but it was alright.  Shiloh landed in the water.” Shiloh had turned away, and Adam was standing a few feet behind her, frowning guiltily.  “She said it was Adam’s fault because…”  Joe started to lose his composure and was trying to breathe to finish his sentence.  “Because the horse is in love with Adam,” finished Joe, howling in laughter.

Hoss hadn’t said anything yet, but his head was bowed as he tried to hide his amusement.

“She didn’t say that, Joe. I did,” said Adam, twisting his mouth to keep from smiling at the thought.

Shiloh’s body had started shaking as though she was crying.  Ben got up from the table, admonishing Joe as he went to her.  “An accident like that is nothing to laugh about.”  When he reached Shiloh, he took her by the arms and started to apologize for the boys’ behavior, but his face changed from concern to a relieved smile when he saw her.  He turned her around so Adam could see her laughing, and a slow grin took over Adam’s face.

She looked up at him.  “I swear, it’s true.   I can prove it.”  She walked to the door and turned around.  “Well, come on.”  Everyone walked outside and stood in the yard while she went to the barn to retrieve Spec.  She unfastened the lead rope then walked up to Adam, standing close and facing him.  Spec walked around, coming at Shiloh from the side, bowed her head and leaned against Shiloh’s arm then shoved Shiloh away.  Once Shiloh was out of the way, Spec stood quietly in front of Adam.  Shiloh turned around to face everyone.  “See?”

Hoss walked to the horse, scratching her nose.  “Well, horses do attach themselves to people, but why she’d pick Adam, I’ll never understand,” he chuckled, leading the horse back to the barn.

“What are you going to do with her?” asked Ben, chuckling.

“I can either finish her training…away from Adam…and sell her, or…” she turned to Adam, “I can give her to Adam.”

Adam circled his mouth into an O and raised his eyebrows. “I…uh…I’m not sure it would be good to have a horse that interested in me,” he said, smiling nervously. “Besides, she’s not a working horse…and I have Sport.   He might get jealous,” he said, looking amused.

Shiloh walked back to him, tiptoeing into his face as she walked by.  “Then if you see me working with her, go…away.”

<b>Chapter Twenty-Five</b>

Shiloh rushed Adam out the door Friday morning, anxious to get to town to meet the noon stage.  “The stagecoach won’t be there any earlier just because we are,” laughed Adam.

She looked up at him with big, round, blue eyes, reminding him of the little girl he used to gently tease.  “I know, I know, but can we just go?  Please?”

When they arrived in Virginia City, the stagecoach wasn’t due for another half hour, but to Shiloh’s delight, it arrived early.  “Look, it’s here,” she said excitedly, grabbing Adam’s arm and shaking him awake.  He had leaned back, propped his feet up on the front of the buggy and dozed off.

He jumped, looking back at her with one eyebrow raised.  “Alright, I’m awake.”  He exited the buggy, went around to help her down, and by the time they walked over to the stage office, the stagecoach had stopped, and the step had been put down under the door.

The first passenger out was Edwin Booth.   Shiloh rushed forward to greet him with a hug, while Adam helped Annie out of the stagecoach.  “You must be Miss Walters.”

Before she could do much more than acknowledge him, Shiloh turned, and the two women embraced as if it had been years since they’d seen each other instead of months.

Adam and Edwin stood facing each other, talking over the girl’s heads.   “How was the trip?” asked Adam.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been on a more harrowing ride,” answered Edwin.  “That road was…well, let’s just say it’s questionable whether it should even be called a road.”

Adam laughed.  “I know it well.”

“Adam, this is Annie Walters, my roommate from college.  Annie, Adam Cartwright,” said Shiloh.

“Mr. Cartwright,” she said nodding.

Adam felt as if she was shooting daggers at him with her eyes.  Why, he had no idea.  “Miss Walters,” he said, tipping his hat.  “It’s a long ride back to the ranch.  I thought we could have lunch in town.”

“Splendid,” said Edwin.  “I’m famished.”

The two women walked arm in arm toward the International House in front of Edwin and Adam, speaking in low voices so they wouldn’t be heard.  “Shiloh, I don’t know how you expect me to be civil to him,” said Annie. “I don’t know how you tolerate him.”

“It’s very easy, Annie.  He’s in charge of the trust my father put the ranch in.  I have no choice but to put up with him.  Besides, we reached…an understanding, I think.”

“How do you mean?”

“Adam didn’t kill Micah.  He didn’t pull the trigger.  Raymond Horton did.”

“But you said Adam could have prevented it.”

“From my perspective he should have.  But from a man’s point of view, he was bound by what he was taught.  How can I fault him for behaving like a man?”

“Are you saying you’ve forgiven him?”

“I’m not sure it’s exactly that.  I have stopped dwelling on it…for the most part.”

“Edwin, why didn’t you tell Shiloh you wanted her to go to San Francisco with you?” asked Adam.

“I don’t know how much you know about Isabella’s contemplative habits, but I didn’t want to give her enough time to talk herself out of it once you talk her into it.”

Adam stopped walking.  “What do you mean once <i>I</i> talk her into it?”

“Well, she’s very comfortable telling me no.   As far as her performing, she has no experience sparring with you.”

“She has lots of experience <i>sparring</i> with me about other things.  I don’t see how performing will be any different.”

“I’m sure you’ll have fresher arguments than my tired old approach.”

“You snake,” said Adam irritably.

“Some things never change, my good man.”

When they reached the International House, the men escorted Shiloh and Annie inside.  Because it was Friday, the restaurant was crowded. Still, they waited only a few minutes for a seat at a window.  Once their drinks were served, they talked while waiting for their food.

“Annie, what brings you to San Francisco?” Shiloh asked.  “I thought you were waiting to hear from Geneva.”

“It seems Geneva isn’t accepting any more women than they currently have.  There’s a two year waiting list.  And since Mother passed, I thought I’d come out West.”  Annie held her hand out to Shiloh.  “At least, I could be close to you.   Through Lucy’s contacts, I’ll be working with a doctor in San Francisco until I can find another medical school that will accept me.”

“Lucy?” asked Adam.

“I’m sorry.  Lucy Stone, a friend of ours from Boston,” said Annie.

Adam took a deep breath then let it out quietly.  He had thought that he may have dodged a women’s rights bullet with Shiloh, but the subject seemed to keep coming up.  He pinched his lips, nodded and looked at Edwin.  “There’s a dance in town tonight if you and Annie are up to it.  It won’t be like anything you saw in Boston, but you’ll get to see and hear a little local color.  When we get to the Ponderosa, you both can rest for a while before we leave.”

“Thank you, Adam, but I won’t be staying at the Ponderosa.  I need to be in town for auditions.  But, it sounds wonderful,” said Edwin. “How about it, Annie?”

“Oh, I suppose it might be interesting.  But, what kind of dancing is it?  I may not have brought an appropriate dress with me.”

Adam and Shiloh looked at each other and laughed, and Shiloh patted her hand.  “You’ll be fine.  It’s not that kind of a dance.”

<b>Chapter Twenty-Six</b>

After Annie was settled and resting at the Ponderosa, Shiloh began working on her ledgers at the dining room table while Adam sat in the living area reading a book.  When Joe walked out of the kitchen, Shiloh stopped him.

“Joe, do you have a minute?”

“Sure,” said Joe, pulling out the chair across from her and sitting down.

“I had every intention of accepting your offer to escort me to the dance tonight.  I’d like that if the offer is still good.”

Joe grinned. ”Oh yeah, the offer’s still good.”

“Well, this may be a little awkward.  I need to stay close to Annie, so we’ll need to ride together to the dance. But other than making sure that Annie and Edwin have a good time, I promise, you’ll have my undivided attention.”

Later that afternoon, the Cartwrights were waiting in the living area for the girls to come downstairs.  When they appeared, Adam excused himself to go hitch the buggy.

“Adam, you don’t need to do that.  It’s taken care of,” said Joe, smiling innocently.

Adam stopped, crooking his jaw and creasing his eyebrows, perplexed.  “You hitched the buggy?”

“Mm hm.  Yeah,” Joe said, wrinkling his nose.  “Oh, don’t you remember…the other night at the dinner table…I asked Shiloh to the dance?   I’ll be taking her and Annie.”

Shiloh, noticing his confusion, slightly smiled at Adam’s raised eyebrow.  “It’s true.  I’m sure Joe wouldn’t mind if you ‘d like to ride with us,” she said.

Joe pinched his smile, looking disappointed that he had just missed an opportunity to best his big brother.  “No, not at all.”

Shiloh danced the first dance with Edwin.  “Isabella, you really didn’t have to afford me the first dance.”

“Edwin, please don’t call me Isabella.  I’m known as Shiloh here.  And, I did have to have the first dance with you because I know you’ll be sitting for the remainder of the evening.”

“Why Shiloh?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why not Isabella?”

“I don’t want anyone here to know, that’s all.  It’s a privacy issue.”  Satisfied as much as he could be with her reason, Edwin found a table after their dance, and sat sipping a glass of champagne.  Adam was occupying Annie’s time, though Annie was bit reserved, and Shiloh danced the next four with Joe then asked to take a break.  They joined Adam and Annie at Edwin’s table.

“Annie, what do you think about the dancing here?” asked Shiloh, teasing.

“It’s more like hopping around on the correct foot,” she answered, garnering a laugh from both Shiloh and Adam.

Adam stood, offering his hand to Shiloh.  “May I have the pleasure of the next dance…that is if it’s alright with Joe,” he said, menacingly eyeing Joe.

Shiloh looked over at Joe who rolled his eyes, then asked Annie to dance.  The four of them excused themselves from the table.

“Shiloh, why aren’t you paying attention to Edwin?”

“Edwin’s perfectly happy right where he is.  He doesn’t dance.  He sits and watches and listens for mannerisms, speech inflections and accents.  Then he applies them to some of the characters in his plays to make them feel more authentic.”

Adam mouthed the word Oh.

“Why do you think he’s such a good actor?”  Acting is nothing more than the imitation of life.   The more of life you observe and can apply, the more real the acting will be.”

“I don’t think I completely agree with that, but that’s a discussion for another time.” Adam took her hand and placed his other hand at her waist.  She blushed at the feeling of his hand on hers, noticing the warmth and strength of it.   Even though she couldn’t actually feel the warmth of his hand at her waist, it still felt…commanding…as he led her across the dance floor.  She even noticed his scent, aware for the first time of how comforting…and how edgy it made her feel.

When the music ended, she took a step back.  “I think I’d like something to drink,” she said, smiling, but avoiding his eyes.

“What can I get for you?” asked Adam.

“Edwin has champagne and glasses at the table.”  Adam held her arm at the elbow, guiding her through the crowd back to the table where Joe stood and poured her a glass of champagne.

“Thank you, Joe.  You read my mind,” she said, sitting next to Annie.  “Are you having a good time, Annie?”

“It’s a departure from what I’m used to, but I have to admit it is more relaxed.  The people here don’t seem as stuffy as those that frequent dances in Boston.”

“These people work hard all day, every day to eke out a living from the dirt.  They work hard…they enjoy the times they aren’t working…something many of the people of Boston don’t understand.”

Shiloh leaned forward to see Edwin. “Edwin, are you learning anything?”

“Actually, I’ve learned quite a bit just by watching you,” he replied.

Shiloh’s eyes widened, looking at Edwin, then her eyes moved away self-consciously.  “Joe,” she said without looking at him, “shall we dance.”  She stood, walking around the table to him, taking his arm, and walking to the dance floor.

Shiloh and Joe danced most of the evening, taking a break here and there to speak to Annie and Edwin, who were both perfectly content to sit and watch, sipping champagne.  Adam sat…for a time.   Then he moved to different places around the dance floor, talking to friends, watching Joe and Shiloh, talking to friends, but ultimately watching Joe and Shiloh.

Edwin said his goodbyes early and returned to the hotel, and when the evening was over, Annie and Shiloh sat in the back seat of the buggy quietly talking while Joe and Adam sat in the front with Adam driving, both silent.  When they arrived at the Ponderosa, Annie excused herself to change her dress.   Joe took Shiloh’s hand leading her to the front porch, leaving Adam standing alone in the living area.

He loosened his tie and sat on the hearth, wondering to himself why he was in a bad mood.  It had been a pleasant evening with good company.   Edwin was always interesting, and Annie was intelligent and charming, certainly able to carry on a lively conversation.  For some reason, he was bothered by Joe and Shiloh dancing the evening away, and now out on the front porch.  She was charming, laughing…alive as Edwin had put it, while she danced with Joe.   He wondered if she was performing.

<b>Chapter Twenty-Seven</b>

On the front porch, Joe stood with his arms around Shiloh’s waist, stealing a kiss.  Shiloh looked at him, smiling considerately.  “Joe, did that feel right to you?”

He smiled.  “No, I guess not.  Shiloh, I had a good time tonight, but we didn’t even talk.  Every time we tried, it was awkward.  I guess you’re too much like family already.”

“Well, I am older than you.”

“That wasn’t it.”

“I know.”

They heard the front door open, and in another minute, Adam walked around the corner, stopping when he saw Joe’s arms around Shiloh.  “Excuse me.   I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You’re not interrupting.  I was just going inside,” said Joe.  He kissed Shiloh’s cheek.  “Good night.”

“Night, Joe,” she answered, holding his hand until he was out of reach.

Adam slowly ambled to the porch table with his hands in his pockets.  “Did you enjoy the dance tonight?”

“Yes, I did.  I really worried that someone would recognize me from before, especially after Tommy Baker did, but Joe kept me busy.”

“If this none of my business, just say so, but I got the feeling the evening didn’t end well for Joe.”

“It’s none of your business.”  Adam nodded and looked out over the yard.  “But, it was never going to be what Joe might have hoped for.  I accepted simply because he asked, but I never had any intentions for it to be more than friendly.  I mean, I love Joe, and I know he’d do anything for me.  The same is true for Hoss.  But Joe and I have nothing in common.  I was afraid we wouldn’t have anything to talk about…and we didn’t…and it was awkward.”

Adam stayed at the edge of the porch facing the yard.  “On another subject, if Edwin asked you to go to San Francisco with him, would you?” Shiloh backed up and leaned against the house wall, but remained silent.  Adam turned to face her.  “Why the hesitation?”

“Did Edwin put you up to this?”

“What if he did?”

“It wouldn’t matter.  Edwin knows the answer to that question already.  Besides, I have the ranch to run, the house to rebuild and the horses to take care of.”

“Hank can take care of the ranch, I can take care of the house and the horses can wait.”   Again, she said nothing. “You told me you enjoyed it.  Besides that, you should consider it an honor to be working with Edwin.”

“San Francisco is too close for comfort.  There could very well be people from Virginia City there.  You know as well as I do there’s a certain reputation that goes with performing.   I don’t want to deal with that here.”

“You should trust Edwin’s judgment. He would never allow your virtue to be compromised. He adores you.  Besides, opera and theater have come a long way out here since Maguire’s has been open.  Tom’s opening another opera house in Virginia City.  He’d be thrilled to know that you’re a resident.”

“You know him?”  Adam nodded.  “Don’t you dare tell him.”  Shiloh looked away lost in thought.  If I don’t do this now, will there ever be another chance if I change my mind?  Still looking away she said, “Adam, it’s getting chilly, and it’s late.  I’m going inside.”

They found Annie sitting with Ben in the living area talking about her medical training and hopes.  Shiloh sat next to Annie on the settee while Adam stood with one foot propped up on the hearth, listening.  “I didn’t take other courses like Shiloh.  My focus was medicine,” said Annie.

“I thought your focus was music,” said Adam, looking at Shiloh.

Shiloh inhaled deeply and narrowed her eyes suspiciously.  “It was.  I’m sure I said this before, but I also took some business courses…and accounting so that I would be prepared to run the ranch.”

“That must be exciting for you, being able to do both,” said Ben, smiling.

Shiloh lightly furrowed her brow in dismay that Ben unknowingly stepped into a sensitive subject.  “I don’t plan to do both, Mr. Cartwright.  I don’t think there’s room for both.   There’s barely room for the ranch and the horses.”

“The day to day work on the ranch pretty much runs itself with Hank there.  Of course, you need to be involved in any decisions and payroll, but even payroll can be taken care of at the bank…or Adam or I could do that for you if you were away.”

“Mr. Cartwright, have you been speaking with Edwin?”

“No, why?”

She crossed her arms and glared at Adam.  “It seems Edwin has Adam campaigning for him to get me to go to San Francisco and perform.”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea.  We’d all have the chance to hear you sing.”

She rested her forehead in her hand.  “I’m sorry, Mr. Cartwright, but I have no intentions of performing in San Francisco or anywhere else for that matter.  If you’ll excuse me, I’m tired, and I would like to go to bed.”

“I’ll go up with you.  All that hopping around tonight exhausted me,” said Annie.   “Good night, Mr. Cartwright.   Adam,” she said, nodding her head once.   Ben and Adam watched as the two girls climbed the stairs.

“I take it you two had a conversation about her performing in San Francisco,” said Ben, glancing at Adam.

“I don’t understand her, Pa.  She spent three years concentrating on singing, playing, and composing.  She performed in Boston.  Edwin said she was very good and that she enjoyed it…she even said she enjoyed it.  Now, it’s as if she just wants to forget about all that hard work.”

Ben picked up a pipe and began to fill the bowl with tobacco.  “It’s her decision.”

Adam sat on the hearth, looking at his hands.  “Are you familiar with Eliza Biscaccianti?”

“Yes, she’s an American singer…from Boston, if I remember correctly, who had some success in Europe.”

“Edwin says Shiloh’s as talented as Signora Biscaccianti was before she went to Europe.   If that’s true, I think if she performs in San Francisco and gets good reviews, she’ll want to keep singing.  How could she turn down an opportunity to go to Europe?”

“She already has.”

“Only because of her father’s death.  Pa, she’s not here just because of the ranch.  She’s here for them.”

“Them?”

“Her family.  She said something at lunch the other day in town…that no one would care about those graves on the hill.”

“Son, she’s grieving, not just for her father, but for all of them.  I imagine life can be very lonely for her with everyone gone.”

“None of them would have wanted her to stay here just to keep the ranch going for them.”

“No, they wouldn’t have.”  Ben rested the pipe in his hand and studied Adam.  “What are you going to do?”

“I think she should go.  I don’t think she should make a decision to walk away without performing one more time, now that she’s come home and seen what it will mean to stay with the ranch.”

“Well, you can’t make her go.”

“No, but I can keep trying to talk her into it.”

“Isn’t Signora Biscaccianti in San Francisco?”

“Yes, she is.”

“What if Shiloh had the opportunity to speak with her?”

Adam narrowed his eyes and smiled at his father, then said good night.

<b>Chapter Twenty-Eight</b>

Adam was up with first light as usual, but when he came to the breakfast table, Shiloh and Annie were nowhere in sight.  Only their napkins, laid neatly next to their plates, gave evidence that they had eaten and gone.  Looking at his father, he nodded to the two empty seats.  “Where were they off to today?”

“Shiloh wanted to show Annie the horses and the ranch…mostly the horses.”

Adam nodded. “I should go over there to check on the house.  Hank was supposed to have some of the ranch hands start cleaning out the debris.”

When Adam arrived, he found Shiloh and Annie inside the house looking through the ruins of what had been the parlor for pictures and knick knacks…anything that could be salvaged.  “Good morning, ladies.”

“Adam, what brings you over here?” asked Shiloh.

“I wanted to see if Hank had started the men cleaning this out.  It won’t be long before the windows are here.  We can start rebuilding as soon as it’s cleared out.”

“I asked him to wait until I had a chance to look through it.  There were some pictures…and a music box…”  Shiloh turned away for a moment, collecting herself, then continued to pick through the rubble.  “There’s still too much debris here.  I’ll just ask Hank to watch out for anything that seems worth saving.”  She turned to face Adam, clasping her hands in front of her.  “I was about to pick out a horse for Annie.  She’s ridden sidesaddle, but since she’ll be staying West, I thought I’d teach her how we ride out here.   Before I can do that, we need to go into town and get her some riding clothes, and Edwin asked me to drop by during his auditions. So, we were about to head into town.”

“Do you mind if I ride along with you?  I need to check on the new windows we ordered for the parlor.”

Shiloh looked aloofly at Annie who looked back at Shiloh wryly.  When she first arrived and met Adam Cartwright, Annie was certain that she wouldn’t find any redeeming qualities in the man after hearing at college Shiloh’s rage at his culpability in the death of her brother.  Obviously, things had changed somewhat for Shiloh, and Adam seemed genuinely concerned for her well-being.   From Shiloh’s demeanor while she danced with Adam the night before, Annie knew as well as Edwin had that Shiloh was unwittingly fighting very hard to rebuff invisible tendrils of fondness toward Adam that seemed to be creeping ever so slowly over her.  “Adam, I think that’s a wonderful idea,” said Annie.  “You don’t suppose you’d have time for lunch again, do you?  I’m sure Edwin would enjoy it.”

Shiloh shot a discomfited glance toward Annie who she knew obviously misunderstood her prior impassive look.  “Adam’s a very busy man, Annie.  I’m sure he doesn’t have time for us.”

Adam watched the looks passing between the two girls.  “Actually, I’d be delighted if Edwin can fit us in his schedule,” he answered, hiding his amusement.

“Wonderful,” said Shiloh flatly as she made her way through the front door and to the buggy, taking Annie’s arm as she passed.

The three went straight to the hall where Edwin was holding auditions.  When Edwin saw them step inside, he pointed to Shiloh and motioned her to him, trying not to interrupt the current audition.  Annie and Adam took a seat at the back of the hall.  When Shiloh reached Edwin, she sat next to him, and Edwin whispered in her ear while looking at the young woman who was singing.  “Shiloh, you know much more about the technical aspects of these songs.  I like the tone of her voice, but something isn’t quite right.”

Shiloh cocked her head and listened, realizing that the woman’s notes were, at times, slightly flat, though not even by as much as a half-step.  Shiloh watched the young woman, noticing that as she stood to the left of the piano, her head was turned slightly to her right toward the piano.  “Do you mind, Edwin?”

“Not at all.  Go right ahead.”

“Stop, please,” said Shiloh loud enough to be heard over the piano and the singing.  “Have you had some sort of injury to your hearing?” she asked the woman.

“When I was a young girl, I was very near an explosion.  Afterwards, I heard ringing in my right ear for some time, though I haven’t had a problem in several years.”

“Would you mind moving to the other side of the piano?”  Once the woman was in place, Shiloh asked the pianist to start the music from the beginning.

After only a few bars, Edwin turned and smiled at Shiloh.  “You see, it’s in your blood.”

Shiloh smirked.  “It has nothing to do with my blood, but rather everything to do with observation.  You realize that she won’t be able to move around effectively on stage and stay in tune.   She’ll only be able to stay on key while stationary.”

“That’s a pity, though if all goes as well as I hope, I won’t have a need for another soloist.”  Edwin excused the young woman, saying he would be in touch.  “I’m ready for a break.   I hope you all made time for lunch.”

“Of course,” said Shiloh, wrapping her hand around the arm Edwin offered.

Again, they settled into a table at the International House and ordered their drinks and food.  “Shiloh, I know this isn’t your favorite subject, but I have to try once more,” said Edwin.  “I believe you owe it to yourself…to all the hard work you put into your music…to give it at least one more chance.”

Before Shiloh could respond, Annie spoke up as if the conversation had been rehearsed.  “I agree with Edwin.  I watched how hard you worked on your performances to make them flawless.   I watched how you interacted with the audiences with such emotion.  I watched you sit at a piano until all hours of the night writing, erasing and writing again trying to make a new song perfect.  I can’t believe you would just walk away from that.”

Shiloh sat back in her chair looking from Edwin, to Annie, and finally to Adam.  “Do you have a part in this play?” she asked irritably.

Adam took a deep breath, looking her squarely in the eye.  He knew with Edwin and Annie there, this would be the best chance he had of reasoning with her, even though he knew she wouldn’t want to hear what he had to say.  “You’re among people who care about you, so I’m just going to be blunt.  You came home for the wrong reason.  You stay on the ranch for the wrong reason.”  Shiloh shook her head, looking up at the ceiling.  Without looking back down, she took the napkin from her lap and purposefully placed it on the table, moving to get up.  Before she could stand, Adam took her hand, holding it firmly on top of her napkin.  She looked at her hand, holding her breath, denying the warmth she felt passing from him to her. She tried to pull way, and when he held it there, she shot him a defiant look that everyone recognized as quiet fury.  Adam held her fierce gaze as he spoke, “Annie, Edwin would you excuse us for a moment, please?” Without waiting for an answer, Adam rose maintaining his hold on Shiloh’s hand.  He made his way over to her, taking her arm, bringing her up out of her chair and leading her to a private sitting room off the lobby of the hotel where he pulled the curtain closed.  They stood in silence for a moment, glaring at each other.

Adam sighed, inwardly calming himself.  He had allowed her to anger him with only a look, her stubbornness getting the best of him yet again.  As he stood looking into her fiery eyes, he smiled slightly, realizing she was a lot like him, setting her mind to something, and requiring heaven and earth be moved to change it.   Today was his day to move heaven and earth.  “You came home for your family, Shiloh, but your family isn’t there on that ranch.  They aren’t on top of that hill.”  She turned her back to him.  “You need to start thinking with your head instead of your heart.  Edwin and Annie are right.  You worked too hard on your music to just let it go without being sure that’s what you want to do.”  Her shoulders slumped almost imperceptibly, but he noticed.  He hoped that meant he had put a chink in her armor.  “The ranch and the horses will be here.”  He took her arms and turned her around, and when she wouldn’t look up at him, he bent down to see her eyes, though she still looked away.  “You owe it to yourself to know for sure.  You may not get another chance.”

She looked into his eyes wondering how he could have possibly known what had been her own fear. Furrowing her brow, she let out a breath.  Adam saw uncertainty take her over.  “Shiloh,” he said, holding her arms, bringing her up to her full height to face him, “you’ve got nothing to lose by going.”

“That’s not true.  It was one thing to be known as a singer in Boston.  Boston wasn’t my home and was never going to be.  But, Adam, this is my home.  I don’t want people to look at me and whisper all sorts of things.  I don’t want people to think of me as a…”  She wilted in his hands.

“A what?” he asked gently.

She tried to wriggle from his grip, but when he held her and her gaze, she shrank away, answering brashly through gritted teeth.  “A harlot.”

Adam looked down at her from underneath his eyebrows.  “You can’t possibly still believe that.”  When she didn’t answer he continued.  “Shiloh, you’re not a dance hall girl.  By Edwin’s account, you’re an accomplished singer.  You’ve already won over the hearts of the upper crust in Boston.  The newspapers have had only complimentary reviews about you.  Besides, I want to hear you sing.  Pa wants to hear you sing.”  He turned her face back toward his with his finger underneath her chin.  “Your father would want to hear you sing if he were still here.  He told you he was proud of you no matter what you decided to do.”

She closed her eyes and answered.  “I’ll think about it.”

“You’ve been thinking about it.  It’s time to stop thinking and sing.”

She looked up at him, trying to do what her father had said…trying to trust him.  “Alright,” she whispered.

The rest of the day Shiloh was quiet, but each time she began to mentally second guess herself, Adam was right there, watching the cogs turn in her head, meeting her eyes, and refusing to let her change her mind.

<b>Chapter Twenty-Nine</b>

Shiloh and Annie finished breakfast and left early in the morning again so that Shiloh could teach Annie how to ride.  When Adam came to the breakfast table, he hesitated, looking at the two empty seats.  Before he sat down, he looked at his father with raised eyebrows, nodding toward the empty chairs.

“Annie is learning to ride this morning,” said Ben.

“It’s just as well,” said Adam, sitting down and placing his napkin in his lap.  “Did Shiloh tell you she’s going with Edwin to San Francisco?”

“No, she didn’t mention it.   You talked her into it?” asked Ben, looking intensely at Adam.

“Pa, I didn’t force her to say yes, if that’s what you’re getting at.  I just reasoned with her.”

“Is she comfortable with her decision?”

“No.  I don’t expect her to be comfortable until after she performs and realizes what she’s missing…or that it’s really not important to her, but I don’t see that happening.”  Adam had loaded his plate with eggs, bacon and flapjacks.  As he poured maple syrup over his pancakes, he continued.  “Pa, the bid for that land to the north we’ve been looking at is coming up.  The attorney is in San Francisco.”  Adam looked up at his father, who was watching him over his cup of coffee.  “I thought I could go tender the bid in person and see some of Edwin’s and Shiloh’s performances.  That’ll give me time to try and speak with Signora Biscaccianti.”

“When would you leave?’

“The end of this week,” he answered, chewing a mouthful of flapjack.

Shiloh and Annie spent the majority of the rest of their week packing Shiloh’s trunk. The clothes she wore in Boston during her performances there were made specifically for her, so she kept them.   Annie would be going back to San Francisco to begin her job as a doctor’s assistant until she could locate a medical school that would accept her as a student.  She chose to work, keeping her knowledge up to date and her skills honed for school, though she didn’t have to work since she had received an inheritance from her mother that would allow her to live comfortably for the rest of her life.  The ability to help people who were ill or in pain was a passion for her, something that made it easy to understand the things that drove  Shiloh…loyalty, high personal standards, the commitment to see things through.  The last part was the reason Annie knew that deep down, Shiloh wanted to sing and write. Because she had split her focus in college, perhaps she now felt she had to choose between them.  Annie had hoped she’d be able to find a happy medium between her ranch, her horses and her music.  Even though her opinion of Adam had been quite low in the beginning, Annie realized that Adam had slowly, and probably very painfully, become the person that could reason with her the most.  After all, he knew her better than Edwin or herself.  There was probably no one else, other than Adam’s father, who knew her better.

Shiloh’s trunks and bags had been moved to the Ponderosa from the Flying W the night before they were leaving for San Francisco.  Once the buckboard was loaded the next morning, Shiloh and Annie rode in the buggy with Ben and Adam with Hoss driving the buckboard.  Adam had purchased the tickets several days before, including the tickets they would need for the steamer from Sacramento to San Francisco.  He allowed three days to reach Sacramento, planning one extra day in case the stagecoach was delayed.  They met Edwin at the stagecoach office ready to board along with one other passenger.  When they were seated, Edwin and the extra passenger were seated on one side.  Shiloh ended up in the middle with Adam and Annie on either side, but remembering her conversation with his father her first evening home Adam had her move to the outside next to a window, taking the middle seat between her and Annie.  She smiled shyly at him for the favor, and remained quiet most of the trip.  Adam watched the muscles in her jaw flex, her hands clasped into tight fists leaving her knuckles white.  When the stagecoach stopped to rest the horses, he watched her raise her hand to her neck rubbing the knotted muscles there.  He watched her drink water from the ladle at the water pump, trying with a hand that was shaking so much she had to use both hands to drink.

“How are you?” he asked quietly.

She avoided his eyes, but managed a slight smile.  “I’m fine, thank you.  The window seat helps.”  She flexed her fingers, trying to ease the aching caused by clenching her fists.  When they boarded the stagecoach to continue, Adam took her hands, unclenching them and laying her left hand flat in her lap, holding her right hand for the duration of the trip.

Once in Sacramento, Adam was able to secure berths for them on a steamer a day early, so they were immediately able to board.  Annie and Shiloh shared quarters lavishly adorned with plate-glass mirrors, marble-topped tables, red plush upholstery, brass lamps and opulent woodwork.  While Edwin and Annie opted to remain in their quarters for the trip, Shiloh accepted an invitation from Adam for dinner, joining him in a dining room appointed as extravagantly as their quarters.

“Shiloh, not that I’m trying to discourage you…it took too much to get you to do this, but you were right when you said performing in San Francisco would eventually get back to Virginia City.  You need to be prepared for that.  If Tom Maguire happens to be in San Francisco and sees you, he’ll know.”  The lobster Adam had ordered for them for dinner was delivered to their table.  Shiloh sat back in her chair with her hands in her lap staring at her plate.   Adam watched her, knowing she was processing the thought of Virginia City discovering that she was Isabella Whitney.

“Adam, you were right.  I’ve had second thoughts about singing since I’ve been home, and I worried this might be my last chance.  Even if this goes well, I don’t know how I’m going to fit it in.  And I have no idea what will happen when Virginia City finds out.  Whether it’s good or bad, it’s still something I’ll have to deal with.”  She glanced quickly up at him, then back down to her hands in her lap.  “The truth is I’m terrified.”  She tilted her head to the right.  “Not about the singing…about what happens after it’s over.”

Adam smiled warmly.  “Shiloh, whatever happens, you won’t have to deal with it alone.  And I think you’re underestimating the time you have to fit this in.”

“Well, there’s a lot that I want to do with the ranch…things Daddy wasn’t interested in doing.”

Adam cracked his lobster.  “Like what?”

Shiloh already had the meat out of her lobster tail.  “Like timber and mining.  I was thinking about bidding on the land just to the north of the ranch. It’s for sale, you know.”

Adam laughed and teasingly pointed his fork at her.  “You can’t do that.  We’re bidding on that land.”

“So?  Why should that make a difference?”

Adam stopped in mid-chew, raising an eyebrow, looking across the table at her.  “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Dead serious,” she replied.  “That land is covered with trees.  A lot of them are pines, but there are big stands of hardwoods there, too.”

“Yes, I know,” he answered as he finished chewing.  He washed his food down and stopped eating again. “You’ve never bid on land before.  Don’t you think this is something you should have discussed with me?”

“I’m discussing it with you now,” she said as she cracked a claw.  “Anyway, I said I was thinking about it,” she said haughtily.  “But you’re right…I’ve never done anything like this. If the ranch is going to succeed and grow, I need to learn…not just buying land, but bidding timber contracts.  I don’t really expect to win, but it would be a good experience for me, don’t you think?” she asked, looking up from her lobster.

“Do you even know how to prepare for a bid like this?”

“I’ve done some homework,” she said coyly.

“What about mining?”

“Well, I haven’t really thought as much about mining as I have timber, but Daddy always said we were sitting on a mountain of silver. I think I’d like to pursue that and see.”

“It takes a lot of time to supervise mining operations. Timber is seasonal, but mining goes on all year.  Are you sure you want to take that on?”

“I realize I’d have to hire someone to oversee it.  I have no desire to be that involved with the day to day workings of a mine.”

Adam chuckled while he finished his last bite and placed his dinner napkin on the table. “Can we talk about this when you get back home? You have something else to occupy your time right now.”

“That’s true, but I have to have the bid for the land in by next week, and the seller is in San Francisco. But then, you knew that,” she said cynically, taking a drink. “Just think Adam. We’re competitors.”

He didn’t care. Her eyes were sparkling at him, and she seemed happy and relaxed at the moment.

<b>Chapter Thirty</b>

Shiloh and Annie walked into their hotel room late in the evening, deciding they would go right to bed.  Edwin had already said his goodbyes, hurrying off to see his wife and child.  The hotel was right next to the opera hall where Edwin and Shiloh would be performing, and Adam had been fortunate enough to acquire a room in the same hotel.  After saying goodnight to the girls at their door, he went back down to the saloon, purchased a bottle of brandy and made his way back to his room, sitting and sipping a drink before he turned in himself.

His thoughts turned to the conversation he had with Shiloh on the steamer regarding her desire to place a land bid.  She should have already told him, and he wondered if she would have told him at all if it hadn’t come up in the conversation.  He was still the trustee of the ranch, and he knew she could get into some financial trouble if her bid was more than she could really afford, and she won.   He knew the bids tendered for the land would be more about the worth of the timber…something that would have to be an integral part of her bid and something of which she had no knowledge.  The question he was struggling with was whether he should approach her or wait to see if she asked for help.  Then again, helping her could cause a problem.  After all, he was bidding on that land, too.

The next morning he found Shiloh in the restaurant with Edwin and two others whom Adam assumed were Edwin’s wife and infant daughter.  Edwin saw Adam enter the restaurant and called him over.  “Adam, please join us.  This is my wife, Mary.”

Adam took Mary’s hand and slightly bowed.  “A pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Booth.  And this must be Edwina,” he said, gently touching the child’s hand.   He seated himself next to Shiloh then asked, “Annie isn’t joining us?”

“We stayed up a little late talking, so I decided not to wake her.  I left her a note to come over to the opera hall,” said Shiloh.  “Edwin, has your company already begun rehearsals?”

“Individual rehearsing, yes, but I haven’t had everyone together as yet.  I wanted to wait and see if you would be joining us.  Some of them will remember you from Boston.  I’m sure the others know of you.  You made quite an impression among my associates while you were there.”  Shiloh smiled warily.  “We’ll have introductions this morning then begin rehearsals after lunch.  Our first performance is in three weeks.”

“Three weeks?  That’s cutting it a little short isn’t it?   Don’t you have a full orchestra here?  And what about your sets?”

“Not to worry, my dear.  It’s well in hand.  The company as well as Maguire’s musicians have been given the first draft of all the parts, so what we have left is to work out any changes.  And as I said before, we were waiting to see who would be our soloist.”

“Do I have an understudy?”

Edwin hesitated, knowing the reaction he was about to get.  “No, we’re still working on that.”  She looked at him incredulously.  “The conductor is also new.  He won’t arrive until tomorrow.  I will be relying on you to go over your music very carefully with him.”

Shiloh smirked.  “Edwin, what would you have done if I hadn’t agreed to come?”

“Truthfully?   I would have panicked.  My soloist in Boston didn’t want to come out west, so I was left in a bit of a quandary.  I’m just glad Adam was able to talk you into it,” said Edwin, nodding at Adam, who winked, realizing that Edwin had held auditions in Virginia City in hopes of finding a backup if Shiloh hadn’t agreed to sing for him.

“I see I have a lot of work to do…as usual,” said Shiloh, sipping her coffee.

Adam joined them at the opera hall after breakfast for the introductions.  He watched as Shiloh mingled with the musicians, singers and actors, smiling, laughing, charming them all, setting them at ease…the same way she was at the dance with Joe…as if she were performing.  On her ranch, she had either been very business-like or angry, and other than at the dance, he had never seen her seemingly enjoying herself around people.   She even moved differently, gliding, he thought as he watched her walk toward him.

“Adam, this must be very boring for you.  You don’t have to stay.  I’m sure there are many other things more interesting in San Francisco.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.  I’m content to watch what you do.”

“Suit yourself, but there won’t be that much to watch today.  We have no conductor, so I’m not sure any of the music will even be brought up.  Tomorrow, I’ll be spending most of the day with the conductor and after that, I’ll be running between this hall and the room where the singers will be rehearsing.”

Shiloh was right.  Edwin dismissed the musicians from the hall, asking that they practice their parts on their own in preparation for working with the conductor.  However, he asked the pianist, the lead singers for each play and the actors to stay and that included Shiloh.  He also asked the principle cellist to stay.  Shiloh went back to the front of the hall, sitting with the other singers while Edwin handed out packets of sheet music and parts to everyone.

“We will rehearse these numbers in the order they will be performed with the acts,” said Edwin.  “Shiloh will be opening each evening for us for the first ten weeks after which we will perform the first act.  For this first series, it will be a comedy.”

Adam sat watching as Edwin directed his actors.  He used Shiloh to coach the singers with the new music, where occasionally she sang a bar showing the performer how it should be sung.  The comedy required that she play the violin in a piece opposing the cello.  She was charming and funny as she worked, frequently having the entire group of performers laughing.  Even so, Adam felt he hadn’t seen her working anywhere close to what he imagined was her full potential.  Though he could see why Edwin wanted her help given her ability to lighten moods, her musical work was…ordinary, certainly not worthy of the praise in the article he read in the Territorial Enterprise back home.  But then, she was singing and playing only parts, and those were parts belonging to others.

At the end of the day, after everyone else’s work was done, Edwin asked Shiloh to sing the opening song.   As she sang with piano accompaniment, Adam slowly moved to the edge of his seat.  He had certainly heard her sing before, but never had he heard her sing like this. When she sang a high note, singing it fortissimo with such power and holding it, he held his breath with her, and when he had to breathe again, she was still holding that note.  At the end, she sang the same note, but this time she sang it softly, holding it yet again.  Still, he sensed she was holding back.  He could only imagine how she would sound with the support of a full orchestra.

When she ended the last note, the singers and actors all stood and applauded, appreciating that besides Edwin Booth, they would all be associated with a singer who had been successful back east and who would attract a crowd curious as to whether she was as good as had been reported.

Edwin released everyone for the evening, asking Shiloh to remain, going over his written notes of the music and singers, comparing them to hers, making changes, and sometimes arguing out their points.  Adam watched them feed off each other, the consummate actor and the accomplished singer at odds, making the resulting rendition of a piece more exciting, more hilarious or more sorrowful.

After a particularly heated argument, they took a break and approached Adam.  Shiloh apologized, “I’m sorry, Adam.  We’re going to be at this for some time yet.  Perhaps you’d like to get something for dinner.  I’m afraid we’re going to be very late.”

Concerned at the tension he felt in the room, Adam suggested, “Why don’t you both take a break and join me.  You can always come back to it,” suggested Adam.

“It would be better if we do this while our thoughts are still fresh,” explained Edwin. “We must have any changes settled before tomorrow so the company will have their completed parts ready to learn.”

Shiloh laid her hand on Adam’s arm. “This is normal for us.  Edwin’s an actor, not a musician and I’m a musician, not an actress.  Even though the process seems strained, we both can attest that the final outcome is better.”

Adam took a deep breath, raised and dropped his hands, acquiescing to the commitment of the two artists standing in front of him.  He left them to their work after saying good night.

<b>Chapter Thirty-One</b>

Adam knocked on the girl’s suite door.

“Adam, what a nice surprise,” said Annie.

“I thought we might see you at the opera hall tonight.”

“The first rehearsal is always boring,” she said guiltily.

Adam chuckled.  “Most of it was I have to admit.  If you haven’t had dinner yet, would you like to join me?”

“I’d be delighted,” she said, closing the door and taking his arm as he led her down the hall to the stairway. “After she meets with the conductor, it will get interesting I’m sure.  But, I would suggest that if you’ve never seen her perform, you shouldn’t watch her rehearse.  You should see her for the first time in a full performance.  You won’t be sorry, I promise you.”

The restaurant was almost empty at this time of night, but the kitchen was still open.  Adam thought it just as well, hoping he could get more insight into Shiloh’s reluctance at anyone knowing who she was.

“Annie, do you have any idea, when Shiloh was so successful in Boston and, according to Edwin was so happy, why she would consider completely throwing this part of her education away?”

“Well, you do get right to the point, don’t you?”

Adam smiled.  “I’m sorry.  It’s just that she wasn’t very close to what Edwin described today.”

“Very close?”

“She seemed to be holding back.”

“Well, as I said, the first day of rehearsal is always boring.  Edwin is just a little out of his area of expertise when it comes to orchestras and opera singers.  He’s solid when it comes to acting, especially his own acting, but when he’s charged with directing a show with a variety of entertainment he has to rely on advice sometimes.  Shiloh knows her way around an orchestra and opera, though she’s been adamant about not doing any opera.  Her time at Peabody exposed her to some very well known people.  Peabody prides itself in using visiting talent, especially talent from Europe, to teach their students.  Anyway, he’s relied on Isabella exclusively for several years now, and I have to say, they’re a good match.   Even so, I don’t know why she would have held anything back…unless it was you.”

“Why would she hold back because of me?”

Annie looked at Adam, studying his face for a moment, deciding whether to take the conversation any further.  “Adam, I know you know about Will Stewart.  Edwin told me.  She did have feelings for Will in the beginning.  He was a lot like you…handsome, charming, confident.  The rest of us saw him becoming possessive.  Shiloh never believed it, even when I told her.  She just refused to see it.  She didn’t turn his proposal down because of what we saw.  She really just wanted to come home to the ranch.  She talked about the ranch from the very beginning.  Will was never going to be able to get her back here…his career was in Massachusetts, and when she realized her desire to go home was stronger than her feelings for him, she knew she would break it off.  Well, that and the realization that her life would be completely different as a politician’s wife.”  Annie stopped to take a sip of wine.  “You’d be surprised how much I know about you and Shiloh before college.  She told me everything…how you sent her home from school, how the town thought you had kicked her out of school for bad behavior, how you fought to make that right, and how you prepared her for college.  She also talked about Micah’s death and your two families’ history.  I was pretty shocked at first when she was civil to you that first day I was in Virginia City, but she said the two of you reached an understanding.”

“None of that explains why she would be holding back her performance now.”

“I’m getting to that.  She came home to a handsome, charming, confident man who she seems to know her very well; a man who lives where she wants to be.  But, a man she has to answer to, and a man she blamed for her brother’s death.   Adam, she’s been getting her way for a long time while she’s been away.  Then she came home and still had to answer to you.   She said you made her feel like she’s still a little girl; like she has to prove herself to you after she accomplished so much back east.  She was never going to start singing again.  Her focus was the ranch.  Honestly, Edwin and I both believed that no one could have possibly convinced her to sing here, even though she loves performing.”

“I still don’t see what that has to do with her holding back tonight.”

“She was afraid you wouldn’t approve of her being a singer.  That’s why she split her time between business courses and music.   Adam, your approval is important to her.  Besides her father, you are the only person who has ever pushed her to do more.  You are the only person who took an interest in her education.  Now here comes the uncomfortable part.  She’s a grown woman now.  She has struggled because of what happened with Micah, but in reality, she’s still trying to prove herself…to you.  Will reminded her of you, but without the involvement with Micah.”

Adam opened his mouth to speak, but instead looked skeptically back at her.

“She won’t admit to that.  She tries to deny it all the time, but Adam, I know her.  I also know she’s very stubborn.  She may never admit that.”  Annie chuckled.  “She might not even know that about herself.”

Adam sat back swirling his wine in the glass.  He hadn’t consciously thought about Shiloh being an available woman.  Shiloh was right…he still thought about her as someone who needed guidance…like a child.  But now that he was focused on it, he had to admit to himself that while he watched her work on her books, he had been charmed by the way she blew a fallen wisp of hair out of her face, how she moved and gently spoke when she worked with a horse, the look of her eyes when they were set afire in anger…her blue eyes…the sound of her laugh, her loveliness, her intelligence.

Annie touched his hand, bringing him out of his reverie.  “Don’t worry, Adam.  When she’s performing, she won’t hold anything back.  She can’t help but do her best.”

“So, Annie…medicine?”

She smiled.  “My father was a doctor and my mother assisted him in his practice.  I always admired the way he helped people.  I saw how hard he was on himself when his best efforts weren’t enough.  When I was a teenager, my parents let me help at his office, so I was exposed to many of the medical procedures he performed.  I think they would never have let me go back to the office if they had known that I watched some of his surgeries, but I found it intriguing, being able to cut someone open, fix them and then sew them back up.  It was as if he had a special gift from God.  I would never have chosen medicine if Lucy Stone and Susan Anthony hadn’t encouraged me.  They told both of us that we shouldn’t be excluded from any employment just because we are women.  They told Shiloh she shouldn’t be ashamed of performing, that the only conscience she had to satisfy was her own.”

“Well, that certainly explains a lot,” said Adam just before Edwin and Shiloh walked into the restaurant talking animatedly enough that Adam got the impression they were still arguing.

“Hello,” said Shiloh, immediately continuing her conversation with Edwin as she sat down at their table.  “There’s no reason for a woman to play a man’s role in this play.  You have a man who is perfectly capable of playing that part.  You just need to coach him.”

“She’s played the part before.  He hasn’t,” objected Edwin.

“Well, don’t you think it’s time he learned?”  Shiloh took his hand.  “Think of it this way.  Would you rather he be learning in Boston where they really know you?”

Edwin had been looking down, but jerked his head up when she said that, allowing a grin to slowly form.  “I suppose not,” he said, laughing.  “Very well, then.  The part is his, and I shall coach him.”

Shiloh turned to Annie and Adam.  “How was dinner?”

“Enlightening,” said Adam.  “And I have no complaints about the company,” he said, smiling at Annie.

Shiloh shot Annie a sideways glance that made Annie look away guiltily.  “I can’t wait to hear about your evening,” she said suspiciously.  “However, I do have an early morning, so I shall be going to bed.

“Aren’t you going to eat dinner?” Adam asked, almost scolding.

Shiloh was in a playful mood, feeling giddy relief that she and Edwin had worked out all the changes.  “Why Pa, me ‘n Edwin here already had vittles while we was a arguin’,” she said in her best southern twang.

Edwin, Adam and Annie looked up at each other in disbelief then burst out in laughter.  “And she says she’s not an actress,” laughed Edwin.

Chapter Thirty-Two

The next morning, Shiloh and Edwin were up early to meet the new conductor, Monsieur Philippe Rousset.   When Adam came into the opera hall, he joined Edwin at the back, watching as Shiloh and Monsieur Rousset began to look over the scores at the piano.  Shiloh had also brought her violin.

“Adam, has she ever played her violin for you?” asked Edwin.

“No, she hasn’t.  I’ve only heard her play the piano once.”

“Then this should be a treat for you.  I’ve never worked with this particular conductor…not that I work closely with the conductors, but I have no idea if this one will be easy to work with.  Shiloh has strong opinions about how some of this music should be played, especially her own pieces.”

“She composed some of your music?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, she’ll be singing several she wrote…the opening number you’ve already heard…”

“She wrote that?” interrupted Adam, surprised.

“Yes, and you won’t believe the full orchestra version.  She also wrote one about her father and another about memories.  And, her closing number was written specifically for her.”

Both men settled into seats, listening to the quiet conversation taking place on the stage.  It was evident that Monsieur Rousset had a very heavy French accent, but Shiloh didn’t seem to have any trouble following him, nor he her.  Once they had discussed a piece of music, Shiloh played it on the piano, stopping and starting as each one made their points.  Then she played the violin part.   As Shiloh played, Monsieur Rousset closed his eyes, directing what he heard.  When his direction didn’t follow what she played, he stopped her, she explained her interpretation, he explained his, and they made an agreement.  To Adam, it seemed to be a very pleasant process…until they apparently reached an impasse on one of Shiloh’s compositions.

Monsieur Rousset puffed up and became very condescending as he fell into his native French. “Mademoiselle, je suis sûr, que le compositeur voulait dire fortissimo. Le personnage est debordant d’amour, il veut le crier au monde.”

“Mr Rousset, le personnage veut crier son amour au monde, mais a la fin, chuchote de sorte que l’objet de son affection ne peut pas l’entendre.”

“They’re arguing about how loud to sing the last note?” asked Adam, whispering to Edwin.

Edwin nodded.  “Basically, yes, but more about the interpretation of that last note.  You took French, didn’t you?”

“Well, yes, but it’s been a while,” answered Adam.

Monsieur Rousset paused, accepting that she would have understood him, but surprised that she would answer him in his own language with such confidence.  “J’ai fait cela depuis beaucoup plus longtemps que vous. Vous ne pouvez pas savoir ce que le compositeur cherche à depeindre.”

Shiloh crossed her arms and glared at him.  “I claim to know what the composer wanted to portray because I am the composer.”

The conductor raised his hand to his cheek.   “Mon Dieu!, je travaille avec une prima donna!”

As Shiloh gasped, Edwin sprang out of his seat and hurried to the stage.  “Why don’t we take a break?  I think both of you could use some nice, cold water.”

Shiloh’s nostrils flared. “Je ne chante pas d’opéra,” she growled, walking off the stage to the water table where Adam was waiting with a poured glass of water, eyebrows raised.

“Spsh!” said Shiloh, taking the glass, looking at him indignantly as she stomped to the nearest seat and plopped down.

Monsieur Rousset threw his hands in the air and walked to the water table quietly speaking with Edwin.

Adam recognized the leaking sound from her first run in with Spec and sat down next to a stewing Shiloh, trying to hide his amusement.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“You should speak to him in Italian.   That would really confuse him.”

Shiloh couldn’t help but smile.  “Unfortunately, I only know enough Italian to sing.”

“Are you alright?  Be honest.”

“Of course I am.  Conductors and I always have clashes.  We get through them, and Edwin is always here to make sure we don’t kill each other,” she said flippantly, turning to face him. “Why wouldn’t I be alright?”

“I just wanted to be sure before I leave.  I have some errands to run.”

“Oh,what errands?”

“Just business,” he answered, taking her hand and kissing it.  I’ll catch up with you this evening.”

<b>Chapter Thirty-Three</b>

Adam hired a carriage and went by the other three opera houses in San Francisco, but Eliza Biscaccianti wasn’t booked at any of them.  He finally fell back on his last resort…Tom Maguire.  He had hoped for Shiloh’s sake that Tom wouldn’t be in the city while she was there.  After all, he was getting ready to open a new opera house in Virginia City, and Adam thought he might be too busy there to spend any time in San Francisco.   Even as he had tried to reassure Shiloh, he knew in the back of his mind that Tom would never miss the opportunity to meet the newest sensation from Boston, especially when she was appearing for the first time on the West coast in his own establishment. He paid the carriage driver and walked into the office of Maguire’s Opera House, hearing the continuing battle between Shiloh and Monsieur Rousset spilling out of the main hall.

“Adam Cartwright,” said Tom, coming from behind his desk with his hand held out.  “What business of the Ponderosa brings you to San Francisco this time?”

“How are you, Tom?” Adam asked, shaking his hand. “I do have business, but that’s not the main reason I’m here.”

“Oh?  Pleasure, then?”

“I’m here with Shi…”  He cleared his throat.  “Isabella Whitney.”

Tom’s eyes widened.  “You came with her?  Why I haven’t even had the opportunity to meet her yet.  Mr. Booth seems to keep her prisoner in the main hall.”

Adam chuckled at the thought of Edwin making Shiloh do anything.  “I’ll have to introduce you.  But, before I do, I’d…ah…like to have a word with you, if you have some time.”

Maguire motioned to a chair at his desk, sitting on the other side as Adam took the seat in front of him.  “So, you haven’t seen her yet?” asked Adam.

“Well, no.  I try not to go into the main hall when they’re working, and she gets out of there so quickly in the evening, I’ve not had the chance.”

“Tom, you already know her.”

“Oh?” said Maguire, puzzled.  “I’m sure I would have known if I had met her.”

“You would if she always went by Isabella.  She doesn’t.  You know her as Shiloh Whitney.”

Tom harrumphed in disbelief.  “Adam, I heard her sing last night.  You can’t be telling me that the woman I heard singing was Shiloh Whitney…Amos Whitney’s daughter?”

Adam nodded.

Maguire leaned his chair back, looking away, letting the revelation sink in.   A slow smile took over his face.  “I have Isabella Whitney in my backyard in Virginia City.  Do you have any idea what that means for the new opera house?”

Adam raised his hands waving Tom down.  “Don’t get excited just yet.  I had a heck of a time getting her to perform here.  She hasn’t made up her mind about making singing a career.  That’s one reason I wanted to talk to you.”   It was obvious to Adam that he had Tom’s full attention when Tom sat up in his chair, boring a skeptical hole into him with his eyes.  “I need you to promise me you won’t tell anyone in Virginia City who she is.  She doesn’t want anyone there to know.”

“Why in the world would she want that?”

“Because she has the ranch and the horses, and she doesn’t want to mix the two.  She has her reasons.”

“Adam, do you know what it would mean for the Virginia City opera house if Isabella Whitney sang for opening night?  How am I supposed to let that go?”

“If you pressure her you’ll pretty much guarantee that she’ll never sing for you again.”

Maguire was silent for a moment.  “Well, if she does as well here as she apparently did in Boston, I don’t think you’ll be able to prevent Virginia City from finding out…without any help from me.”

Adam took a deep breath.  “I know.”  He sat up, propping his arms on the desk.  “I also wanted to talk to you about Eliza Biscaccianti.  I understood she was here in San Francisco, but I haven’t been able to find her booked at any of the other opera houses.  Do you know where she might be?”

Maguire’s expression turned grim.  “You won’t find her booked at all.”

“Why not?” asked Adam, surprised.

“San Francisco is full of opera singers.  Signora Biscaccianti did very well here for a time after she returned from Europe, but as more opera houses were built and newer, younger talent arrived, she found her bookings dwindled until she just wasn’t in demand any longer.”

“I understand she’s a remarkable singer.  How could she be passed over?”

“Think about it, Adam.  If you had already heard Signora Biscaccianti perform and had the opportunity to hear for the first time a new singer who was wildly popular in Europe or back east, who would you choose?  They will certainly come to see Booth perform, but on his off days, they’ll be just as anxious to hear Isabella Whitney for the first time.”

“So, how do I find her?”

“Why would you want to?” Adam raised an eyebrow, looking at Tom impatiently.  Maguire sat up at his desk, pulling a piece of paper out of a drawer then writing down an address.  He slid the paper across to Adam, who picked it up, reading the address.

“Isn’t this a saloon?”

“She sings for drinks now.”  Adam’s jaw dropped.  “Don’t look so shocked.  We live fast in this city.  No one stays on top for very long.  Your Isabella has an advantage.  She doesn’t live here.  The people of San Francisco won’t have time to become bored with her.”

“Thanks, Tom,” said Adam, rising from his chair, offering Maguire his hand, then leaving the opera house in search of Signora Biscaccianti.

<b>Chapter Thirty-Four</b>

Adam walked into the Cannery Row Gentlemen’s Club, looking around first then making his way to the bar.  He ordered a beer, and when the bartender returned, Adam said, “I’m looking for Eliza Biscaccianti.  I’d like to buy her a drink.”

The bartender studied him then looked around him nodding at a well-dressed man sitting at a back table.  “His name’s Grainger,” said the bartender.

Adam turned around, looking where the bartender had, picked up his beer and made his way over to the table.  “Mr. Grainger?   Adam Cartwright.”

Mr. Grainger motioned for him to sit down.  “What do you want, Cartwright?”

“I’d like to buy Signora Biscaccianti a drink.”

“Why do I get the feeling that’s not all you want?”

“For the moment, that’s it,” said Adam, taking a long drink of his beer, looking back at Mr. Grainger with his best poker-face.

Grainger thought for a moment while searching for any break in Adam’s comportment.  He didn’t see one.  “Go to the back table in the alcove…behind the beaded curtain.  Eliza will join you in a few minutes.”

Adam thought to himself.  <i>Eliza…he’s more than familiar with her.</i>  He knew he’d have to watch Grainger and be careful not to look threatening or forward toward the lady.  He waited for almost a half hour before she finally appeared, conservatively dressed with every hair in place, but obviously on the verge of drunkenness, if not there already.  Adam stood when she brushed past the beads and offered her a chair, which the good lady practically fell into.  He wasn’t sure talking to her in this state would be worth his time.  He had no idea before his conversation with Maguire that Miss Biscaccianti had fallen out of favor with the San Francisco elite, and to see her in this state was saddening.

“Signora Biscaccianti, my name is Adam Cartwright.”  She looked at him as if expecting something and lowered her eyes when the bartender came into the alcove right on cue.  “Oh yes.   A bottle of your finest champagne for the lady.”

She looked back up at him, with a half smile.  “I usually don’t draw the attention of a man who can afford champagne.  What would you like to hear?”

Adam took notice of her voice, light, lilting…young.  Studying her face, he felt she couldn’t be much older than he, the only feature that really showed age was her eyes though he was sure they were swollen from a lack of any meaningful sleep.  “I didn’t come to hear you sing, though I think I would like to someday.”

She harrumphed.  “Then we have nothing to discuss,” she said as she began to rise from the chair at the same time the bottle of champagne arrived.

Adam quickly took the opened bottle.  “I’d hate to have to drink this entire bottle alone,” he said, pouring a glass.   After he filled his glass, he held the bottle hovering over the second glass, watching her watch the liquid stop.  She looked up at him, licked her lips and nodded.   He poured the second glass.

“Signora Biscaccianti, do you keep current with your profession.”

“More or less,” she said as she nursed her champagne, looking as if she hadn’t tasted the quality of more a refined beverage in quite some time.

“Do you know of Isabella Whitney?”

She stopped drinking, putting the glass on the table in front of her, turning it round and round.  “Mr. Cartwright, is it your purpose to torment me?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“This Isabella Whitney and those like her are the very reason I am unable to obtain any bookings in this city.”

“Miss Whitney has no idea what has happened to you, and I would be willing to bet that none of the newer singers know.  I just found out myself earlier today.  Miss Whitney and my friend, Edwin Booth, would be troubled by your plight.”

“You know Edwin Booth?” she asked, sitting up, meeting his eyes for the first time.  Adam nodded.  “What do you want from me, Mr. Cartwright?”

“Miss Whitney’s happiness is important to me.  I’ve known her since she was a child.  She’s very talented.”  He took a sip of champagne, looking up at her from underneath his brows.  “She’s been compared to you,” he said, waiting to see her reaction.

She raised her eyebrows.   She had heard many things about many new singers, but never had she heard that any of them had been compared to her.

Adam continued.  “Miss Whitney owns a ranch near Virginia City.  She breeds and trains fine horses.   She’s not sure she wants to perform, but is here mostly as a favor to Mr. Booth.  She’s also here to decide whether she wants to continue her singing career or be done with it.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I would hate for her to make the decision to walk away from what looks like a promising career, and then regret it later.  I think if she knew what to expect, how far her talent could take her, the decision would be much easier for her.”

She laughed.  “Look around you, Mr. Cartwright.   This is where my career has left me.  Is this want you want for her?”

“I don’t think this is the end of your career.  I think you just need to pull yourself together.  There are still people interested in hearing you sing.  Me, for one.  You don’t have to stay in San Francisco.”

Signora Biscaccianti looked away.  Perhaps he was right.  Perhaps, if she left San Francisco, she could revive her career.  “What would you have me do, Mr. Cartwright?”

“Listen to her.  Tell her if she is really as talented as has been said.  Tell her what such a career would mean.  She’s been asked to go to Europe.  Offer her some encouragement.”

“Surely you could tell her that if you know her so well.”

“She doesn’t trust me enough to listen to me.”  He bowed his head, looking at his drink.  “I’ve not heard her perform yet.  I am relying on the word of Mr. Booth.”

She sat up straight from the slump Adam assumed had become her standard posture in her seemingly constant inebriated state.  Her eyes suddenly became clear and her speech crisp and certain.  “Mr. Cartwright, if she’s as good as I’ve heard, I’m afraid I can’t tell her that Europe is the place for her to be.  Europe has been saturated with opera for many, many years.  It’s very difficult for a singer, especially an American singer, to stand out in Europe.  The only reason I can see that an American singer would go to Europe would be to continue her education, and I’m afraid that a singer of Miss Whitney’s purported talent would be wasting her time there.  I understand she’s trained under some of Europe’s finest singers at Peabody.” She shook her head.  “No, if she wants a truly outstanding career, she should stay in America where most cities are starving for good opera.”

Adam sat back in his chair.  That was not what he expected to hear.  He thought that Shiloh walking away from a chance to sing in Europe would be unthinkable, and now this woman is telling him she most likely doesn’t need to go.  But, would she want to go for the experience?  He had some thinking to do, and he had some time to do it before her tenure in San Francisco came to an end.  He thanked Signora Biscaccianti for her time, left her the bottle of champagne, and excused himself.

She watched him leave, wondering if she would ever see him again…wondering if she should go see Miss Whitney perform after all.

<b>Chapter Thirty-Five</b>

Then next morning, Adam met Edwin in the back of the opera hall again, while Shiloh sat at the front of the hall.  The orchestra members were finding their places in the pit while Monsieur Rousset shuffled papers on his music stand.

“How did it end yesterday…did you have to break them up?”

Edwin laughed.  “It did get a bit tense, but in the end, I think they mostly agreed.  It will be interesting to see how things get played and how things get sung.  Today, she’s just taking notes.  She won’t discuss anything with him unless he specifically calls on her.  She’ll give him her thoughts after the orchestra has been dismissed for the evening.”

“When does she sing?”

“Monsieur Rousset will ask her to sing when he believes the orchestra is playing a piece well enough to support her.  Once he puts them together, the final adjustments will be made.”

“I don’t want to hear her rehearse.  According to Annie, I should wait until a full performance to hear her for the first time.”

“My good man, she’s probably right.  I don’t think there’s any danger of you hearing her practice with the orchestra today.  But, you might be interested in her work with the singers for the plays.  They’ll be rehearsing in the other hall.”  Edwin excused himself and walked up to the front, whispering in Shiloh’s ear.

She turned and smiled, getting up and walking to the back where she sat next to Adam. “Adam, you really don’t need to stay here all week. My week will be spent running from hall to hall.”

“I do have business here, you know. Besides, I’m enjoying watching you. I’ve never seen this side of you.”

“That’s because you’ve never met Isabella,” she teased. “Come on, then. To the other hall.”

When Adam and Shiloh entered the other hall, the singers were already gathering along with three pianists. Some of the singers were actors as well. Edwin would be in charge of them, but for anything regarding the music, they would be led by Shiloh. Edwin introduced her and motioned for her to speak.

When she had everyone’s attention, she began. “The first thing we will discuss is our schedule. I believe all of you have seen one by now. You know how challenging it is. Therefore, you must be here on time, every time. If you aren’t, you will likely be replaced with someone who can be on time. Now, does everyone have their sheet music?  You should have scores for the entire first performance.”

Edwin walked to the back of the hall and sat with Adam. “Edwin, who is that stern woman on stage, and what have you done with Shiloh?”

Edwin laughed. “That woman is Isabella, Adam, and she’s showing them who’s in charge. Most of those singers are older than her. And, she’s right; we are on a tight schedule. They have to toe her line while learning their musical parts or she will send them away. Keep watching and you’ll understand why I need her so desperately.”

She waited until the noise from the shuffling of paper subsided, then continued. “Alright.  We are going to work on several plays at once, the best we can.  I’ve gone over the list of plays and the corresponding performers.  When you hear your play, go where I indicate.”  She read the list of plays and pointed to various areas on the stage. Once everyone was in their assigned group, she continued.  “I have selected a lead for each of the plays. Will all of you step forward, please?  If you have any questions about your parts, you will ask your play leader. I’ve worked with these people before in Boston. They know most of the music you have in front of you and they know the sound I’m looking for. We don’t have any time to waste, so don’t be giving them any trouble.  There are three pianists, one for each set of plays.  I want you to break up into groups please.”  She stepped up to the group that would be remaining on stage.  “Everyone else, go to opposite sides of the hall.”

Adam turned to Edwin. “So, you’re telling me you needed a drill sergeant?”

Edwin smiled and patted Adam on the arm. “Keep watching.”

Shiloh began to go over the first piece with a group in the first play.  She signaled the pianist to play and corrected the singers as they went through the number with her the first time, letting them sing on their own the second time. “Please remember to read the notations.  Do you all read music?”   Everyone nodded.  She signaled the pianist again and stepped back to listen. Before it was over, she had made any number of faces and hand gestures at the singers as she walked among them.  By the time the singers had gotten to the last chorus, they were all laughing so hard they couldn’t finish. Everyone in the hall had stopped to watch and joined in the laughter. Shiloh turned and stood in the center of the stage. “I hope I have demonstrated the seriousness of our work. We have only three weeks before the first performance, and we will be learning through the second performance.   That means we have to learn the songs for twelve different plays, and you people who are also actors will be splitting your time between your acting and singing.  Having said that, we would have no players if theatre was always so strict, so please, I’m not going to be…“ she raised her voice, glancing over at Adam, ”a drill sergeant…if you continue to work hard. We need you to be dedicated to this series. Everyone will stay and work until I come back to hear each group and release you for the evening.  Tomorrow you’ll have your acting schedule from Mr. Booth.”  She motioned for the play leaders to take over.

Adam leaned over toward Edwin and laughed. “I see.”

Edwin laughed. “And she says she’s not an actress.”

The company again applauded when she left the stage making her way to the back of the opera hall where Edwin and Adam were seated.  “Are you ready to follow me around?” she asked, looking at Adam.

He looked at Edwin with raised eyebrows.  “Believe me, it will be insightful,” said Edwin.

Adam accompanied Shiloh from one hall to the next for the duration of her work day, sitting in the back listening and watching.  She was quiet and thoughtful with the orchestra, speaking only when spoken to, but with the singers, he was amazed at the transformation she made, from soft and sincere to hard and unmoving to funny and back as she worked with them. He enjoyed having the chance to listen to her play or sing the parts and appreciated the feeling that she put into each one.  Shiloh at home would have never shown such behavior; she and Isabella were two very different personalities.  When she had finished her final discussion with Monsieur Rousset and was making her final rounds to all the play groups, Edwin came in and sat with Adam in the back of the singer’s hall. “So, what do you think about our Isabella, Adam?” Edwin asked.

“I think she’s doing what she loves, Edwin. It’s easy to see how passionate she is about it.”

“Adam, I think you will find that she is passionate about everything she does. Don’t you see that in her ranching?”

Adam smiled, “Yes, I suppose I do.”

When Shiloh sent the last group home, she walked over to Adam and Edwin. “Edwin, I’m done for the day.  And I’m hungry.”

“I can’t leave for a while, Isabella. I’m still dealing with sets. You two go ahead. I’ll get something later at the hotel with Mary and Edwina.”

“Is Mary feeling any better, Edwin?” asked Shiloh.

“She says she’s just tired.  She’s never travelled well.  I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“Give her my love, won’t you?”

Edwin and Adam rose, and Edwin kissed Shiloh’s cheek and shook Adam’s hand. He headed backstage, and Adam and Shiloh left for the hotel.

<b>Chapter Thirty-Six</b>

“Adam, I’d like to change clothes before dinner. I’ve been in this dress all day. I’m a mess.”

Adam walked her to her door. He moved a lock of hair out of her face and smiled. “Oh, I don’t know. You’re not so bad.” He took the key from her, but the door was already unlocked.  Pulling Shiloh behind him, he pushed the door open. There in the sitting room was Senator William Stewart.

Shiloh’s jaw dropped. “How did you get in here?” she said as she stepped into the room.

Adam followed her. “Will?” he said uneasily.

Will stood and held his hand out to Adam, who crossed his arms and glared.  Will dropped his hand.  “The door was unlocked, so I thought I would wait.”

“I’ll have to make sure the door stays locked from now on,” Adam said with annoyance.

“Oh, come now, Adam.  I am still hoping Isabella will consent to be my wife,” said Will, looking down at Shiloh.  He stepped to her, pulled her close and bent to kiss her, but she turned her head and pushed away.

Adam cleared his throat. “Will, that’s enough.”

“Adam…no, don’t tell me. You’ve taken up with her now,” said Will, smiling.  He let Shiloh go, and Adam pulled her back behind him.

“Are you drunk?” asked Adam, flaring his nostrils.

“Well, maybe I have had a few more than I should have.  But when a woman steals your heart…and I mean [i]steals[/i] your heart, well…”

Shiloh walked away from the two men and stood by the fireplace rubbing her forehead. “Will, I’m sorry.  I can’t be what you want me to be.”

He started toward her, and Adam stepped in front of him placing his hand on Will’s chest. “Where are you staying, Will?’

“Not far.”

“Then maybe I should walk you back to your hotel.”

Will held his arms out to his sides in surrender. Adam placed a hand on his back and led him to the door.  “Shiloh, I’ll be back in a few minutes. Lock the door behind me.”  She nodded as they left the room, walked to the door, locked it, and stared at the closed door, the feelings of guilt for breaking Will’s heart rushing back.  She slowly went into her room and began changing for dinner wondering if there was anything she could do to make it right.  He could be ruining his career, and she felt responsible.

When Adam returned he knocked, and she opened the door. He stepped in, looking sternly at her. “Shiloh, do not open that door to anyone before you ask who it is,” he scolded, creasing his eyebrows, making Shiloh draw back. “Maybe someone should stay with you. I don’t like the idea of you being here alone.”

“I have no intentions of becoming a prisoner in my hotel room. Besides, that was so unlike Will. I don’t want you to think that he’s that way. He’s not. It’s just the liquor talking.”

“I didn’t get a chance to find out. His staff was looking for him and took him away before I could talk to him.”

After an awkward moment of silence, Shiloh smiled. “I’m still hungry.  Can we just have a nice quiet dinner?”

Adam smiled back and relaxed. “I know the perfect restaurant.”

The hotel bellman called a carriage, and Adam and Shiloh climbed in. “Driver, Powell Street, please,” directed Adam as he pulled the carriage blanket up and over their laps.

As they rode through the city, Adam pointed out all the sites and the architectural detail of the buildings. He watched her as she traced the lines and curves of their facades in the air. When they arrived at Powell Street Adam asked the driver to drop them at the corner of Greenwich. He helped Shiloh out of the carriage, wrapped her arm over his and walked her down the street to the restaurant. “Mr. Cartwright, it is good to see you again,” said the Maitre d’. “Table for two?”

“Ocean side, please,” Adam requested. When they were seated at the table, he ordered for them both.

“Adam, they know you here.  You must come here often.”

“This is my favorite restaurant in San Francisco. I come here whenever I’m in town.” He nodded toward the window.  “It has one of the best views in the city.”  From their table they could see the ships in the harbor and beyond the ships orange and yellow from the setting sun danced across the ripples of the ocean water.

“This is different. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“What do you mean?” he asked as he poured a glass of wine for her.

“I’ve only seen you on a horse cutting cattle or mending fences or breaking horses in your boots and your chaps and your gun belt. You actually fit in the city quite well.”

“Look who’s talking,” he laughed. “I haven’t seen you in anything but a dress since you’ve been here.

You’re among people, besides Cartwrights and ranch hands, and you’re enjoying yourself.   Talk about a completely different side.”  He looked up at her from under his eyebrows. “Isabella.  Who came up with Isabella?”

”Oh, that was Miss Anderson. She said that Shiloh was too frontier for New York society.”

“She didn’t really say that, did she?”

“Not in so many words. What she said was…” she straightened and spoke in a matronly falsetto, “Shiloh is neither memorable nor impressive.”

Adam laughed with wide eyes at her imitation of Miss Anderson. “I wouldn’t exactly say that,” he said through his laughter.  “So, where did she get Isabella?”

”Isabella is my middle name.  Shiloh Isabella Whitney.”

“Ah, so it’s not something someone just made up.”

“No.  And I really can’t complain about her choosing it.  It does afford me a bit of privacy, however fleeting that might be.”   She looked up at him.  “Did you know my father’s family is Jewish?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“His name was Amos Abraham Weiss.  He changed it to Whitney a short time before he married my mother, who was not Jewish.  He adopted Christian beliefs, and his family…well, let’s just say they were estranged.  Anyway, my mother named us Shiloh and Micah to keep some of his traditions.  Both names are Hebrew.  My middle name came from Mama’s side of the family…the first born girls were always named some form of Isabella, my mother being Belle, and her mother, Bella.”

Adam watched her for a moment.  “I can’t imagine why you didn’t want to do this.  You’re very good at it.”

“It’s not so much the occasional work that I dislike, but I don’t want to do this all the time.  I love the ranch and the freedom I have there…at least when you’re not picking on me.”

The waiter delivered dinner to their table.  Shiloh looked at her plate, then back at Adam. “This looks…uh…interesting.  What is it?”

“Don’t ask; just try it,” he said, watching her, anticipating her reaction.

She glanced at him as she studied her plate. “If I weren’t such a daring soul, I might starve tonight.”  She took a bite, and her whole face lit up.

“There now, just enjoy it,” he laughed.  He watched her for another moment, smiling at the delight he saw on her face.

She looked up and quickly looked away when she caught him watching her.  Feeling the weight of his stare, she stopped eating, took a drink and cleared her throat.  “Why do you pick on me?”

Adam leaned back in his chair, sipping his wine, answering calmly, “I don’t pick on you.”

“What do you call it?”

“We’re not going to fight, are we?” he asked, slightly creasing his brow.

“I’m not trying to pick a fight.”

Adam stopped eating. “I made promises.  I’m only doing what I promised your father I would.  He loved you. He was concerned about leaving you alone.”  Shiloh’s face saddened, and she looked out the window.  He reached across the table and held her hand. “Hey,” he said softly. Why don’t we talk about something else?” They ate in silence for a few minutes.

Shiloh looked down at her plate pushing her food around with her fork and said quietly, “When are you going back to the Ponderosa?”

“I’ll be here through the end of next week. I have to drop that bid off before I leave. I’ll be back for your final performance.”

“About that bid; I’ve decided to enter one of my own. I’ll have to prepare it, and Edwin wants me to write another song for one of the plays in the second set of performances, so I’ll be working late for a while.”

“Do you want some help?” he asked.

“With the score?” she asked, feigning innocence.

“Uh, no. With the bid.”

Shiloh laughed. “Wouldn’t that be a conflict of interest?”

“Probably, but I can, at least, tell you what to expect when you go in to present it.”

“You’d do that? I mean, I am the competition.”

He smiled as he placed his napkin on the table. “Yes, I would do that.”

Adam motioned for the Maitre d’. “Let me take care of this, and we’ll be on our way.”  He whispered something to the host and placed folded money in his hand.

“Mr. Cartwright, thank you. It has been a pleasure to serve you and your lovely lady.” Shiloh looked at Adam wide-eyed.  He grinned and winked at her.

Taking her hand, he led her through the restaurant back to the sidewalk. Once again, he wrapped her arm over his, holding her hand, and they walked back toward Greenwich and beyond. “There’s one more place I want to take you.”

He opened the door to a small confectionery shop and guided her in. She stopped just inside, closed her eyes and took a deep breath then turned to look at him.  He thought the gleam in her eyes would light up the entire room. “Chocolate!” she exclaimed.

“That smile just made my evening,” he laughed as he purchased a box of confections for her. He called a carriage and told the driver to take the long way back to their hotel so that Shiloh could see more of San Francisco. When they arrived, Annie was back at the suite, so Adam followed Shiloh in.

“You’re back,” said Shiloh.  “I missed you today.”

“I’ve been arranging for a permanent apartment.  Where have you two been all evening?” asked Annie.

“Dinner.”

“Dinner? For four hours? Really?”

“Oh, stop it. He showed me around the city, we had dinner and then…”  She showed Annie the box of chocolates.  “He indulged my sweet tooth.”

“Ladies, I don’t think I can handle the two of you talking about our evening, so I will say good night.” He went to the door, waved good night and left, then immediately reopened the door, looking in with raised eyebrows. “Lock it,” he said, disappearing for the night.

<b>Chapter Thirty-Seven</b>

The next week remained as hectic for Shiloh as the first day. The company started early, worked through the weekend and sometimes ended very late. Adam took some time to show Annie the city and then helped her move into her new apartment.  He hadn’t gotten much more than a passing “Hello” from Shiloh the entire week.

The night before the land bid was due Shiloh ended rehearsals early, ordered dinner in her room and settled in to work on her bid. She was interrupted by a knock at the door. “Who is it?” she called.

“Adam.”

She unlocked the door. “Adam, hello.”

“Is your bid ready?”

“Not yet,” she said twisting her lips, opening the door wide and pointing to the wads of paper in the floor.

“Shall we talk?” he asked, smirking.

“Come in.”

Adam’s stance became rigid as he cocked his head to one side.  “Shiloh, we should do this somewhere else.”

She stepped into the hall, looked around, then grabbed his arm and pulled him in. “No one will ever know.”  Closing the door, she cringed, seeing his disapproving frown.  “Besides, I really don’t feel like going out tonight.  Have you had dinner?” she asked, hoping he wouldn’t find it too awkward to stay.

“No. I thought we might be discussing this over dinner,” he said, looking at her from underneath his eyebrows.

“That’s a very good idea. I ordered enough food for an army,” she said as she removed the covers from the serving dishes on the round table in the middle of the room. I thought it would be a long night, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted, so…”

Adam walked over to the table, smiling when he saw all the different dishes. “Do you do this very often?”

“I used to do this back east, but I don’t seem to do it much here.  Maybe it’s the schedule I keep while getting ready for a performance.   I’ve also been known to do this when I’m working on something I’m not looking forward to.”

Adam poured himself a cup of coffee, picked up a fried chicken leg and took a bite. “If you’re not looking forward to it, why bother?”

“Because I want the land.  It would double the size of the Flying W.”

“Shiloh, why do you want to expand the Flying W? You have the horses. I would have thought you would be expanding that, not increasing your land holdings.”

Breathing deeply, she answered, “Because at some point, I’d like to get married and have children.  That’s if I can find a man who’s willing to put up with me,” she said, biting her lip.   “I do hope that one day I will.  And I’d like to leave something for my children and grandchildren.”  As she spoke, she took the chicken leg away from him, handing him a napkin, placing the chicken on a plate, and then handing him the plate.  “Like your father leaving the Ponderosa to you and Joe and Hoss one day.”  She prepared a plate of peppered beef, carrots, and potatoes, took a napkin from the table, and walked to the sofa, sitting down with her leg folded underneath her.  Adam cocked his head and raised one eyebrow, causing her to huff and roll her eyes as she moved her leg out from under her. “I know…it’s not very lady-like.”  She settled in with her dinner, and patted the sofa cushion next to her, beckoning him to join her. Adam finished preparing his plate and complied.

“What part of the process are you having trouble with?” he asked.

“Well, I’ve estimated the amount of timber and split that between soft and hard woods. And I tried to do some homework several weeks ago. I tried to find what the surrounding property sold for, and I found as much information as I could on any recent timber contracts.” She glanced sideways at him. “There wasn’t much public information about that.”

“Everyone that’s bidding on this land will do the same research you’re doing. Your problem is that everyone that’s bidding has timber history of their own. They’re looking at their own records; which bids won and which bids didn’t. The other thing that’s going against you is that you have no reputation in the timber business. You’re an unknown. So, the likelihood that you’re going to get any contracts soon is small. The seller knows that the land is timber rich.”

“Then why wouldn’t the seller just sell the timber?”

“Because the owner is a speculator or an estate. The property was either purchased to make a profit on the sale of it at a later date or it’s part of a deceased person’s estate. A speculator’s not in the timber business and doesn’t want to be.  An estate wants to liquidate as quickly as possible. You’re a small ranch compared to those that are bidding. You can’t match the larger ranches.”

“But if I’m the highest bidder…”

Adam interrupted her. “Shiloh, it’s not just the bid. It’s the deal. In order to win the bid, you don’t necessarily have to have the highest initial bid. You have to offer the better deal with the timber. How’s your peppered beef?”

“It’s very good.  You should try it.”  They both got up and went to the table.  “Do you want to try the veal?” she asked, moving the serving dish next to his plate.

After they were seated again on the sofa, Shiloh returned to the bid conversation.  “Alright, so it’s the deal. You’re saying that making a deal with me is more risky for the buyer because it would involve selling the timber, and that would be harder for me because I have no reputation in the timber business.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“So, I need to offer a better deal…and I need an advantage because I have no experience.”

Adam had taken a bite of an apple dumpling. “This is good. You should try this.”

She took a bite from her plate.  “Mm. That is good…brandy sauce,” she said, licking her lips.  Then she laid her head back on the back of the sofa. Adam watched her talk to herself, her eyes moving to different spots on the ceiling. He could only imagine what was going on in that head of hers. “Alright,” she said raising her head. “I know what I’m going to do.”

“Now, tell me.”

“Why would I tell you?  You’re my competition.”

“I’m also the ranch trustee, and I have to make sure you don’t get the ranch in financial trouble.”

She looked at him doubtfully.  “Do you honestly think I have any chance of winning this bid?”

He smiled apologetically. “Honestly, no,” he said, letting the subject drop.  He stood up and placed his empty plate on the table. “Glad I could help, though.”

Shiloh walked him to the door, leaned against the side of it and smiled, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, smiling back. “Good night.”  He turned to leave, and then turned back and winked at her. “Lock the door.”

<b>Chapter Thirty-Eight</b>

The next morning, Shiloh started the rehearsal, then left Edwin and her principles in charge while she went to place her bid.  She didn’t feel she had to spend time with the orchestra. She had heard everything multiple times and Monsieur Rousset had asked her to be prepared to sing the following day. She rushed back to her hotel room and began going through her closet looking for the perfect dress. She had thought she would need a more business-like ensemble, but after her session with Adam last night, she decided that her femininity would be her edge. She picked out a light yellow, frilly dress decorated with small purple and white flowers. The neckline was tastefully low, and the matching hat was understated when sitting on top of the dark, auburn curls she had swept up on her head. She had just pinched her cheeks when Adam knocked at the door. “Adam, I’m almost ready. I just have to get my portfolio.”

Adam watched her as she ran around the sitting room looking for the portfolio, and a slow smile crept over his lips. When she returned to the door, he stood smiling at her, making her blush. “What?” she asked timidly.

“You look so…sweet,” he answered. What he wanted to say was that she was the image of an angel, with her rosy cheeks, her radiant smile and her innocent air. He remembered how comfortable he felt with her last evening, and now, standing in front of her again looking like she did, he began to question what he was really feeling.

They shared a carriage to the sellers’ attorney’s office, having appointments close together. Adam was called into the office first and stayed for a half hour. He was followed by another waiting gentleman, who only stayed a few minutes.  Shiloh’s name was called next. When she entered the office, she was guided into another office where she was introduced to the land owner’s representative, a Mr. Frederick Stanton, who got directly down to business.

“Miss Whitney, I have to tell you that I almost cancelled your appointment for this bid. I really don’t see you winning it and thought this would be a waste of time for both of us.”

“What changed your mind, Mr. Stanton?”

“Let’s just say I was intrigued.   You are representing the Flying W ranch.  Are you the daughter of Amos Whitney?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.”

“Well, I’ve purchased several horses from your father. Fine animals. You have my sincerest sympathy, my dear.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stanton. The Flying W continues to breed and train in the same tradition as my father.”

“Your father mentioned he had a daughter back east in college.  So, you’ve come home to continue your father’s business?”

“Yes, sir.”

”I remember a specific horse; a tall, black stallion Amos was training.”

“That would be Maximilian.  Max is still there.”

“Beautiful animal,” he said, studying her for a moment. “You look familiar, young lady. Have we met?”

“No, sir, I don’t believe we have.”

He continued to study her and stood up. “I believe I have been introduced to you…on a stage in Boston.” Shiloh stiffened in her chair, but said nothing. “You’re not in San Francisco just for this bid, are you Miss Whitney?” She looked down at her hands. Mr. Stanton seated himself again. “Well, I never imagined that I would ever have the opportunity to have a conversation with Isabella Whitney.”

“Mr. Stanton, I’m not here as Isabella Whitney. I’m here as a ranch owner who is interested in purchasing land.” She handed him her portfolio. “I’m too young to have much practical business experience, however, Miss Anderson, the Headmistress at Vassar and my mentor, ensured that my business education was as thorough as any man’s, if not more so because I am a woman. If you’ll look at my proposal, the introduction shows how I determined those figures.” Shiloh rose and went to the desk, leaning toward him as she went through the bid. “So, Mr. Stanton, my initial bid is lower. However, with the seller receiving fifty percent of the first five timber contracts minus the cost to cut and move it, he will more than make up for the lower initial bid.  As for the risks, I’m a quick study, and I have the resources to find whatever help I’ll need. That should outweigh the normal ten to twenty-five percent you would receive on fewer timber contracts in any of the other bids. The only difference that remains is whether you decide to trust me.” She leaned back away from him, giving him her sweetest smile.

Mr. Stanton leaned back in his chair, removing his glasses and holding the end of one sidearm in his mouth. “Miss Whitney, I’m impressed. You’ve obviously done your homework.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stanton,” she said, smiling.

Standing, Mr. Stanton said, “I believe I have everything I need. If I have any questions, where may I contact you?”  Shiloh stood with him and told him where she was staying as she made her way to the door.

“Oh, and Mr. Stanton, I would like to invite you to my closing performance at Maguire’s. I’ll have a pair of tickets waiting for you at the opera hall.” Not wanting this to sound like a bribe, she added, “Whether I win this bid or not.”

When Shiloh left Mr. Stanton’s office, she and Adam took a carriage back to the hotel. “It’s almost lunch time. Would you like to have lunch with me?” asked Adam.

“I really need to get back to rehearsal.”

Adam took her hand and guided her toward the restaurant at the hotel. “What you need is to eat. You can’t keep up that pace if you don’t eat.”

She stopped and crossed her arms. “Adam, I don’t need a nursemaid.”

He stood in front of her, looking into her eyes, imploring her, “Please,” he said, smiling slightly. When Shiloh saw the look in his eyes her tenacity left her. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.  Adam smiled warmly and gestured for her hand. She complied, and he led her into the restaurant.

“I think I’ll just have a sandwich…with some potato salad,” she said.

“I’ll order two.”

When their food arrived, Shiloh immediately bit into the sandwich. “Adam, I don’t want to appear rude, but I do need to get back to rehearsal.”

“I understand.” He watched her for a moment. “You stayed in Mr. Stanton’s office a long time.  How’d it go?” Shiloh ignored the question hoping he’d move on and took another bite. “Shiloh, the bid; how’d it go?”

She paused and took a drink.  “I think it went fine. He knew my father. He had purchased horses from him.”

“You talked about horses?”

“Some.  But, I went through my proposal with him line by line.”

“What’d he say?”

“Aren’t you going to eat?” she asked, looking down at his untouched sandwich then back up at him. “He said he was impressed, that he thought that I had done my homework and that he’d be in touch.  What did he say to you?”

“Well, he knew the Cartwright name and the Ponderosa, and he knew that we have experience with timber. It seemed like he was hinting that the land was ours.”

“Really?” she asked, smiling.

With lunch finished they went their separate ways. Shiloh changed and went to rehearsal. Adam went to the telegraph office.

<b>Chapter Thirty-Nine</b>

When Adam returned to the hotel, the clerk told him that Senator Stewart was waiting for him in the saloon. Adam walked in, spotted the Senator, and walked over to his table. “Will, are you feeling better this evening?”

“Adam, thank you for seeing me,” said Will, standing and offering his hand.

“Why wouldn’t I see you?” Adam said as they shook hands firmly.

“Because of my improper behavior in Isabella’s room.  I know you found it…disrespectful.” Will busied himself pouring Adam a drink.

“I can assure you she felt worse than I did,” Adam replied, raising the glass in thanks before he took a sip.

“I hope to rectify that.”

“I’m sure she’d appreciate that, though I think you need to give up on the possibility that she’ll leave the ranch.  She loves it there.  It’s her home.”

“Speaking of the ranch, how’s ranching really treating you?  I would have thought by now that we would have heard about all the wonderful buildings you’ve designed.”

“Do you know how long you’ll be in San Francisco?”

Will studied him for a long moment. “Probably only a few more weeks if things continue to go well at Fort Alcatraz.  We’ve been able to stop some of the arms thefts.”  He took a drink of whiskey. “I was hoping you could do me a favor.”

“That depends,” said Adam flatly.

“I would like to apologize to Isabella, but she’s either sequestered at the opera hall or she’s locked in her room. I guess she told Edwin about my visit.  He has someone escorting her between the opera hall and the hotel now.”

Adam creased his eyebrows. “What do you want me to do?” he asked guardedly.

“I’d like you to chaperone a meeting so that I can properly apologize without anyone questioning her integrity.  I feel like such an idiot, and I do want her to know that I would never intentionally embarrass her like that.”

“I’ll have to find out what her schedule is and how late she’s working. Edwin’s been keeping her busy.”

“I’m staying at the Fairmont,” said Will as he finished his drink. “Just let me know when.”

“Is tonight too soon?” asked Adam, looking past Will toward the entrance to the saloon.

“No, but it’s already evening, Adam.”

“She just walked by going toward her room. I’ll go catch her and ask. Wait here,” he said, hoping to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Adam strode quickly out of the saloon and caught Shiloh half way up the stairs with her escort. “Shiloh, excuse me.”

When the escort moved between them, Shiloh put a hand on his arm. “It’s alright, Daniel. This is Mr. Cartwright,” she said, looking curiously at Adam. The escort nodded to Adam and stepped aside.

“Will’s in the saloon. He’d like to apologize to you.”

“Is he sober?”

“Yes, he’s himself again. He asked me to chaperone. Seems he’s trying to protect your virtue,” he said, smiling.

Shiloh pursed her lips. She was tired, but she hadn’t had supper yet, and she needed to do some apologizing of her own. “Adam, can you get us a private table in the restaurant and wait for me there? I’d like to freshen up a bit.”

Still smiling, Adam bowed. “Yes, Ma’am.”  She giggled as she turned to go up the stairs.

When Shiloh came back down, Adam suggested he replace Daniel as Shiloh’s escort for the evening.  Without waiting for an answer, Adam offered her his arm and led her toward the restaurant.

When they reached Senator Stewart’s table, Will stood up with a smile. “Isabella…” He took her hand, raised it to his lips and waited until Adam seated her before taking the chair on her right. Adam settled into the chair on her left.

“Gentlemen, I’m too tired to be formal, so, can we order first and then talk?” she asked.

Will requested a bottle of wine, and when it arrived at the table, he poured three glasses. He lifted his glass. “A toast…to understanding friends.”

Smiling wearily, Shiloh touched his glass. “Will, Adam told me you wanted to apologize, but I’d actually like to apologize to you first.”

“Isabella, you don’t…”

“Please…wait,” she interrupted.  “Yes, I do. I never meant to hurt you, Will.  I just don’t think I was prepared for all the changes…I got swept up in a fairy tale and you were right in the middle of it. I had never intended to marry that soon or stay in Boston, and when you proposed, I…well, at least part of me knew I would say no. I shouldn’t have allowed you to get your hopes up. For that, I’m very sorry.”

Will took her hand. “Isabella, it’s not your fault. I knew what was happening to you. I should have known so much so soon would have been too much. You were just so…alive. I wanted your spark in my otherwise mundane world of politics. It is I who should be apologizing to you.  And I do.  And for my unforgivable behavior in your suite.”  He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

She smiled, looking into his eyes. “Can we put this behind us now, once and for all?”

Their dinner was served, and the three spent the evening talking about their college years, most of which, Adam and Will hinted at and refused to discuss. “But Adam, there was one girl, Professor Woodward’s daughter I believe,” began Will.

“Don’t you start that one,” Adam laughed, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

Shiloh leaned forward. “Oh, come now. This just isn’t fair. Will, you have been sitting there telling Adam about my escapades all evening. I should be allowed to hear at least one of yours, Adam,” she complained.

“Alright, I’ll tell you,” answered Will, smiling mischievously.

Adam sat up straight in his chair.  “Will, she doesn’t need to hear this.”

“Adam here had snuck into Lilly Woodward’s bedroom by climbing the trellis.”

Shiloh was now looking at Adam with her bottom lip sucked in and expectation in her eyes.

Adam cut his eyes toward her, straight-faced. <i>I threw a pebble at her window, and she came down and unlocked the front door.</i>

Will continued, “What Adam didn’t know was that Professor Woodward was already aware that he’d been sneaking in to see Lilly and had her swap rooms with one of the maids.  It was dark when he got to her bedroom, and he didn’t know the switch had been made until the maid got a bit amorous.”

<i>The maid caught Lilly and me kissing in the study.</i>

Shiloh was already laughing.

“He panicked somewhat, running into the hall, and a chase ensued through the entire house. It was finally the maid in an embarrassing state of undress who brought him down five feet from the front door.”

Adam’s nostrils flared.  <i>In my rush to get to the door, I accidently stepped on the hem of her skirt, tearing her dress and tripping her.</i>

“Then Professor Woodward came in with his dogs, and when he opened the door, Adam flew out with the dogs nipping at his heels. I hear tell Adam looked completely mortified.”

By now, Adam’s teeth were clenched, working the muscles in his jaw.  <i>When Professor Woodward came in from walking the dogs, one of the dogs started tugging at the bottom of my trousers and tripped me.  I ended up on the floor with the maid.</i>

Shiloh, noticing Adam’s expression, covered her mouth with her hand trying unsuccessfully to hide her laughter.

“I believe Professor Woodward’s was the only unsatisfactory grade you received that semester,” Will concluded, laughing.

Snorting softly, Adam took a sip of his coffee.  <i>I didn’t have any unsatisfactory grades…ever. Professor Woodward and I reached…an understanding.</i>

Shiloh tried to contain herself, but one more quiet snicker escaped.  “Adam, I’m sorry.  You’re secret is safe with me,” she said, patting his hand.

Adam frowned at her briefly before turning to glare at Will.  “Miss Whitney had no business having to listen to such hearsay.”  <i>You think I’m in your way.</i> “And you…Isabella…you know quite well that a lady should not have encouraged him,” he added in a matter-of-fact tone.”  <i>You have more problems with Will than you know.</i>

Her mouth dropped open slightly at the word ‘hearsay’. Perhaps Will’s version had been handed down too many times.  “Well, I have an early morning, so I will say good night,” she said quietly, unable to look Adam in the eye.  They stood, and as Will hugged her, she asked halfheartedly, “Will you be at my last performance, Will?”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” he smiled.

“Adam, it’s been good to see you,” he said, reaching for Adam’s hand.

Adam placed his hand on the back of Shiloh’s chair as she rose. “It’s been…interesting.”

As they walked toward Shiloh’s room, she said, “Adam, I want to thank you. Even in your aggravated state, you had the presence of mind to call me Isabella.”

“Shiloh, that conversation was not suitable for a young lady’s ears.”

“Everyone has embarrassing stories from their past.”  She stepped toward him, drawing her index finger and thumb down the crease of his jacket lapel.  “Besides, I have no doubt that story was embellished.  I don’t remember you ever being that reckless as a young man.  Will probably thinks he has something at stake.”

He changed the subject, unwilling to continue the discussion. “I’m heading back to the Ponderosa tomorrow. I’ll be on the morning steamer to Sacramento.”

“Please, come by when you’re ready to leave. I’d like to see you off,” said Shiloh, allowing him to let the conversation drop.

Adam unlocked her door.  “Good night.  Lock the door behind you.” She stepped in, and before he pulled the door closed, she said, “Adam, I would never repeat that story to anyone.”  After he closed the door, Shiloh stood on the other side tempted to go back out in the hall and say something to him…but what?  She let it go and went to bed.

The following morning as they walked silently together to Adam’s carriage, Shiloh ventured, “Adam, are you still angry with me?”

“I was never angry with you, Shiloh.”

“But, you don’t approve of my <i>unladylike</i> behavior last night, as you call it.”

He looked over her head then looked back down at her, slightly cocking his head as he spoke. “No, I don’t,” he said.

She looked up at him as straight-faced as she ever had, speaking in a quiet but firm voice. “I don’t appreciate that sort of attitude.  Who defined what appropriate behavior should be for a woman? Who decided that women are too fragile to handle things that men do or that education would drive them insane?  Who decided that a decent woman couldn’t go into a saloon and have a cold beer on a hot day? The answer is a man, Adam. When will women be allowed to start speaking and thinking for themselves?”

He simply bent down and kissed her forehead, his face expressionless. “I’ll see you in a few weeks,” he said as he stepped up into the carriage.

<b>Chapter Forty</b>

When Adam arrived in Sacramento, he boarded the next stagecoach to Virginia City.  After a bumpy four day ride, he got home just in time for dinner.

“Adam, anything interesting happen this trip?” Ben asked.

Adam glanced up at his father. “Did you get my wire?”

“Yes, you said it looks like we’re going to win the land bid.”

“Mr. Stanton seemed to be favorable to us,” said Adam, taking a sip of coffee.

“How ‘s Shiloh doing?” asked Joe.

Adam huffed. “She’s fine Joe. But, she’s not the Shiloh you know. She’s Isabella…quite a different woman.”

“Come on, Adam. She can’t be that different.”

“Joe, I watched her organize a whole group of singers, terrify them, and then put them at ease all in the space of a few minutes. She played, she sang, and she told everyone else how to play and sing, and she had them laughing and enjoying it all the while.”

“Hm.  She’s never been that sociable here.”

“No, she hasn’t.”

“Adam, is something bothering you?” asked Ben.

“No, nothing’s bothering me,” he said, shifting in his chair. He stopped mid-bite slightly waving his fork. “She gave me a lot to think about, that’s all.”

“What does she have you thinkin’ about, Older Brother?” asked Hoss.

“Women,” he answered.

Joe giggled. “That’s not such a terrible thing to be thinking about.”

Adam cocked his head and shot a quick glance at Joe. “I’ll rephrase that for you, Joe. Women’s rights.”

Ben looked up from his plate. “Oh no. That’s not gotten out here has it?”

“Pa, Shiloh and Annie are walking, talking, women’s rights activists.  Lucy Stone actually helped Annie get a job in San Francisco.  And Will Stewart is one of their advocates back east.”

Ben grunted, but said nothing.

The following week, a telegram arrived in Virginia City for Adam. Hoss picked it up, and took it home. At the same time, a note was delivered to Shiloh during rehearsals at the opera hall in San Francisco.

Adam was in the living room reading the newspaper when Hoss came in with the telegram. “Adam, this was at the telegraph office for ya,” said Hoss, handing Adam an envelope.

He opened the envelope, and unfolded the piece of paper. “It’s from Mr. Stanton about the land bid.”

Ben was sitting in the leather chair beside the hearth of the fireplace. “Well, Son, read it.”

Adam began to read. “Mr. Cartwright, thank you for your bid, however, we have decided to accept another offer. Regards, Mr. Frederick Stanton.”  Adam looked puzzled. “I was sure we had it.”

“Well,” Ben chuckled. “I guess someone made a better offer.” He sat for a moment, shaking his head before he went back to his newspaper.

Back in San Francisco, Shiloh took a break to open the note she received. After she read it, she folded it, placed it in the bodice of her dress, and went back to work.  Shiloh had been depositing any money coming in from horse sales into a new account in her name at the bank.  The day after she received the note, she met Mr. Stanton at the bank, and made arrangements to transfer the funds for the land.

Shiloh had been preparing a song for San Francisco’s Concert at the Presidio where singers and musicians from the area’s opera houses would be performing on the parade grounds.  The event was free to the public and was hosted by all the opera house owners as an opening peek at their respective summer seasons.

Shiloh and Edwin deliberated long and hard about which song she would sing.  Edwin felt she should sing one of her new pieces because every other singer would probably be singing their tried and true numbers to avoid any embarrassing mistakes.  They finally agreed upon a number she wrote for one of Edwin’s new plays, Genevieve, the story of a young couple who fall in love, then find that the heroine, Genevieve, has only a short time to live. They both agreed they could promote not only the music performed at Maguire’s, but the plays as well.

After Shiloh’s performance, Tom Maguire had to hire Pinkertons to stand guard at the opera house and escort the players to and from their hotel because of the number of opportunists trying to sneak into the building to hear them rehearse.

Back on the Ponderosa, Ben read the newspaper, relaxing in the great room after dinner with his sons.  When he had finished, he sat up and tossed the paper over to Adam, who was playing a game of checkers with Joe.

“What’s this?”

“It appears that Maguire’s is the place to go for entertainment this summer.”

Adam looked up at his father then snatched up the newspaper, reading the article aloud.  “After a long morning of listening to old favorites from last year’s gathering of vocalists, a refreshing wind literally blew onto the parade grounds of the Presidio today at the annual free concert hosted by the leading opera houses in San Francisco.  The pared down orchestra of Tom Maguire’s Opera House took their places and tuned their instruments as regular patrons took their seats and the not-so-regular crowd milled about, expecting more of the same ordinary fare.

However, once the orchestra began to play, it was apparent to all that this would be no traditional offering.  Miss Isabella Whitney, a newcomer to San Francisco, but certainly not an unknown, made a last minute strategic move of standing behind the conductor rather than on the raised stage behind the orchestra, walking right up to the front row of seated spectators to thrill them with song as if she were a songbird perched in an open window.  This proved to be a spectacular move on her part as her peers before her could not easily be heard over their accompanying orchestras.

Instead of the traditional lavish gown of an opera singer, Miss Whitney wore the flowing costume of the heroine in Mr. Edwin Booth’s original play, Genevieve, singing words written specifically for the play.  As if the wind were a player right on cue, and as Miss Whitney began to sing, a breeze danced in the folds of her dress while her youthful, delicate voice captured the attention of the audience.  Her timbre was crisp, pure and elegant as she glided into their midst, drawing the attention of those tarrying in the outskirts until the entire assembly on the parade ground was mesmerized.

The supporting music fell softly and rose boldly without overcoming Miss Whitney’s voice, even as the music built to its climax with Miss Whitney walking to the front of the spectators again and turning.  Once again, with perfect timing, the breeze became a stronger wind, blowing hats and scarves across the parade ground, though not a soul ran to collect them.

Miss Whitney stood before them, the cape of her dress attached at her wrists slowly rising with her outstretched arms and floating in the wind as the music rose with her saintly voice perfectly pitched and controlled, the voice and image of an angel taking wing.

Certainly the ovation Miss Whitney received signified that Maguire’s would be the place to see and hear the finest artistry of the summer, but if there are any doubts, ticket sales tell the story. At the time of this writing, Maguire’s had completely sold out its available seating for the season.”

“It’s hard to believe she resisted this,” said Ben.

Adam sat quietly for a moment.  “I still wonder what she’ll do after this is over.  She’ll be faced with a decision again to perform in Europe, I’m sure.”

“Why does that bother you, Son?”

“If what she says she wants is true, she could have it all right here.”

<b>Chapter Forty-One</b>

All summer, Adam had busied himself rebuilding the parlor of Shiloh’s house, anxious to finish it before she returned home.  He hoped she’d be pleased with the new extension…adding windows had indeed brightened the room.

Ben and Adam had to fit their trip to San Francisco in before roundup and the long, arduous cattle drive that would follow. They arrived in San Francisco the afternoon of Shiloh’s last performance, giving them time to rest in the hotel suite Adam had reserved.

The men dressed formally for the evening and made their way to the opera house. When they arrived, Edwin escorted them through a clamorous rush of excited patrons to their box seats next to the stage.

Edwin leaned over to Adam, his voice just loud enough to overcome the crowd.  “Will came by to see her before he left for Boston.  Isabella was adamant about not seeing him, so I sent him away.  He wasn’t…shall we say…happy.”  Adam narrowed his eyes and creased his brow, and Edwin attempted to calm him. “At least he’s back in Boston.  He can’t trouble her from there.”

A messenger entered the back of the Cartwright’s box, handing Adam a note.  “Pa, excuse me, I’ll be right back.”  He went down the back stairs to the entrance of the opera house and stepped out onto the sidewalk, looking for someone.  “Signora Biscaccianti,” he said as he took her arm by the elbow and guided her through the door into a side hall.  He was surprised to see that she was completely sober and dressed appropriately for the evening.

“Mr. Cartwright, I don’t mean to inconvenience you, but I thought you could help me speak with Miss Whitney.”

“Is that really necessary, Signora?  After her success here, I think she needs to decide whether she wants to go to Europe on her own.”

“I’m not here to talk to her about Europe one way or another.  I saw her performance at the Presidio.  She has a gift.  I want to encourage her to continue.  Even if she chooses Europe, she will eventually come back.  With her talent, she must continue.”

Adam led her up the back stairs and into the box, introducing her to his father.  “Signora Biscaccianti, I’m honored,” said Ben.  Before he could offer her a seat, a hush fell over the auditorium as the patrons noticed her in the box.  It was unheard for an unretired opera singer to attend the performance of another, and even though Isabella had never sung opera, the public considered her one.

Shiloh was standing in the wings with Edwin going over the program when they noticed the sudden quiet and looked out.  “Who is she?” asked Shiloh.

“Signora Eliza Biscaccianti,” answered Edwin.  “I can’t believe she’s here.”  Shiloh stood with her mouth gaping open.  “Are you alright?  You can’t let this affect your performance tonight.”

“She’s with Adam and Mr. Cartwright.  I don’t understand,” said Shiloh.

“We’ll find out all about it after tonight’s performance.  In the meantime, you must stay focused.”

Shiloh quickly shook her head as if clearing her thoughts.  “I’ll be fine, Edwin.”

Soon the air was buzzing again with heightened excitement.  Isabella had been a large part of the performances that had taken place over the last two months except for the nights Edwin performed Shakespeare, but for this show, she would be the featured performer.  Besides singing, she would be playing the part of Genevieve alongside Edwin tonight.

Finally, Edwin stood at center stage demanding everyone’s attention, introducing Isabella.  The audience applauded when she appeared on stage, eager to see if this performance would be as spectacular as her performance at the Presidio.  Her first song was an introduction to her music, written and sung to evoke feelings of splendor and darkness, laughter and tears, sensation and fantasy. Her soprano voice flowed gracefully from low and quiet up to high and powerful and everywhere in between. Adam knew instantly that what separated her from other singers he had seen and heard was the depth of sorrow or the pinnacle of excitement she portrayed with her voice, on her face and hands, and in her movements.

The song concluded on a high note sung softly, continuing and slowly fading until the orchestra released the final chord.  Looking out over the rows of seats on his side of the opera hall, Adam saw enchantment on the audiences’ faces.  She had captured their attention for the evening, giving them what they had hoped for…an extension of her stunning performance at the Presidio.

Throughout the evening, she took them on a journey from depths of sorrow to uproarious laughter.  She sang traditional operatic pieces in French and Italian, pieces telling of love or loss, in a voice sometimes youthfully pure, sometimes the full-bodied tone of a seasoned opera singer. She would reach a high note that seemed as high as anyone could go, then surpass it, holding the note seemingly endlessly, her pitch flawless.  Adam was amazed at how she could quietly, gently sing those high notes as if she were whispering them.

Next, she and Edwin performed <i>Genevieve</i>, enchanting the audience with the tragedy of a young man and woman, meeting and falling in love only to find that the heroine is dying.  In the last scene of the play, Shiloh sang the song she had performed at the Presidio to Lucian, the hero played by Edwin. Her voice carried the essence of a young woman saying goodbye, telling Lucian she was ready to die, releasing him.  Lucian, however, unprepared to let her go, held her as she reasoned with him in song.  Softly touching his face, she pushed away even as he fought to hold her.  She stepped away from him, holding him at arm’s length with her hand on his chest, but he slowly pulled her to him, taking her face in his hands, kissing her tears, picking her up against him and holding her there, turning as her cape gently drifted around them.  At the end of the song he gradually lowered her.  She backed away, turning and slowly walking out of the scene toward a bright light in the wings of the stage with her arms outstretched, her cape floating behind her. The orchestra played the last measure, ending on an ominous note, leaving Lucian alone, kneeling and weeping on a dimly lit stage.  Applause thundered through the opera hall, causing Isabella to wait for her next number even after she had changed her dress.

Adam sat quietly in his seat with his lips parted, crossing his arms and bringing his hand up over his mouth, the fine hairs on the back of his neck standing as they had done throughout the evening.  Ben sat in silence, looking sorrowfully at the figure on the stage, remembering his own loss.  Signora Biscaccianti was in tears as were most of the women, gently patting their eyes.

As Isabella reappeared for her last number, the applause slowly died.  She wore a basque top, cut low and tight, hugging her figure, with a long skirt made of a light weight material with slits cut all the way up her thigh on both sides. Both pieces were bright red with black trim along the edges that sparkled in the light of the lamps. Before the music began, she glanced over at Adam, who was glaring at her with furrowed brows.

The music began with Isabella singing about a cat taking on a human persona.  She strutted across the stage, bending to the audience, pointing and telling the story to individual patrons.  Adam followed her with his eyes as she moved back and forth across the stage, watching as her long, shapely legs moved in and out of the slits in her skirt. The story she was singing was amusing and with each look at the audience, she had groups of them laughing depending on where she was looking.  She paraded over to the box where the Cartwrights were seated, leaned in toward Adam, and spoke a line as if in secret, but loud enough to be heard over the hall, making the entire hall howl in laughter.  What began as an apparently risqué piece, became a lesson in storytelling, her voice steady and strong as she sang and moved across the stage, her words crisp and clear, her carriage tastefully elegant.  Adam smiled, understanding the reason for Edwin’s excitement when he spoke of Isabella’s performances.  She was captivating and entertained her audience in a very personal way. At the end of the piece, everyone, including the Cartwrights, jumped to their feet in applause, yelling and begging for more. She looked again at Adam as she left the stage. His face had been taken over with a wide grin.

The crowd yelled for an encore and Isabella obliged. She entered the stage in an elegant white gown of lace and satin. The opera hall became quiet as the music began. Shiloh sang in Italian, walking the stage, stopping and meeting the eyes of those in the audience, making them feel as though she was intimately speaking to each person. The end of the song swelled to a climax with Isabella singing the last lofty note powerfully with ease, holding it for what seemed like an eternity, but ending suddenly, sending chills down Adam’s spine.  There was silence, but only for a moment.  The audience erupted into a resounding ovation, yelling and chanting for more.

Edwin appeared on stage, kissed and held her hand while they were showered with roses and bouquets of flowers. Isabella stepped back and motioned for the musicians and conductor to take their bows.

While Isabella was saying her goodbyes to her audience, Signora Biscaccianti took the red rose Adam had been holding and stepped to the edge of the box in front of him, holding the rose out toward Isabella, who stopped when she saw her, confused…afraid, then walked to her.  Signora Biscaccianti gave her the rose, kissing her on each check then whispering in her ear, “This is what you are meant to do.   Don’t ignore this gift.”  Isabella stood stunned with tears flowing down her cheeks while Signora Biscaccianti looked at Adam one last time and left the box. Adam pulled his handkerchief out, handing it to Isabella. She wiped her face and went back to stand next to Edwin. Annie had gone to stand in the audience, allowing herself to experience the excitement of the cheering and applause after spending her time during the performance assisting Shiloh with her wardrobe changes.

When Isabella finally left the stage, Adam was waiting with a dimpled smile and his eyes glimmering.  She went to him, and he pulled her into a hug, lifting her feet off the floor.  She laughed and wrapped her arms around him.  “I had no idea,” he whispered in her ear.  “I’m very proud of you.”

He put her down, and she looked up at him with smiling eyes. “Come on,” she said, grabbing his hand and leading him back to her dressing room. “I need to get out of this dress.”

Isabella’s dressing room was made up of two rooms, a changing room and a sitting room.  She left Adam in the sitting room while she changed.  When she returned, she was wearing a dress appropriate for her closing party that would be held in the smaller hall after the building had been cleared of the night’s attendees.

Adam stood in front of her, taking her arms in his hands.  “I can’t imagine that you would never consider performing again.  I saw the work you put into this.  The performance you gave tonight was amazing.”  Suddenly, she was mesmerized by his lovely, hazel eyes smiling down at her.  He wore a slight smile, and his eyes showed an intensity she had never seen before.  Looking from her eyes to her lips and back, he slowly bent his head, and just before his lips touched hers, she turned her head, startled by a knock at the door.

Stepping back and looking away, she cleared her throat.  “Come in.”

Ben had been talking backstage with Edwin, and came to Isabella’s dressing room with Annie.  They entered the room, watching Adam and Isabella, who stood looking at each other awkwardly.

“I’m sorry if we interrupted,” said Ben.

“No, no, you’re not interrupting,” Shiloh insisted.

Ben hugged her tightly then looked down at her, smiling.  “You were magnificent.”  He hugged her again, whispering in her ear.  “You’re father would be so proud of you.  I am, too.”

“Thank you, Mr. Cartwright,” she replied, blushing.  “If you’ll excuse Annie and me for a moment, we have a few more things to pack before we go to the party.”

<b>Chapter Forty-Two</b>

After the closing party, the laughter, the goodbyes and the tears, Shiloh was escorted to her hotel room by Ben and Adam with Pinkertons in close proximity. Crowds were still gathered outside the opera hall waiting to get a glimpse of Edwin and Isabella.  Adam walked with his arm around her waist, holding her hand while the throng pressed against them.  As they walked across the street to the hotel, he was surprised by the vise-like grip with which she held his hand as she walked, smiling and nodding to the crowd.  Once they were in her room, Adam guided her to the sofa. Ben poured a glass of water, and kneeling in front of her, Adam waited while she drank.

She looked up, smiling.  “I’m fine.  You don’t have to worry over me,” she said, handing the glass back to him with shaky hands.

“You’re not alright. What’s wrong?” he asked as he sat on the sofa next to her, holding her hands.

Looking down at their hands, she struggled to find the right words. “I…I don’t know how to explain this.”  She looked away from him collecting her thoughts. “I don’t mind performing with Edwin, but with these solo performances, it’s just me. I’m the only one out there almost the entire time, and there’s no one to cover if I mess up.  Plus, I’ve never acted in a play before. Doing Genevieve was Edwin’s idea.  I can just imagine what the reviews will be.”

Adam looked bewildered.  “Shiloh, you were the picture of perfection on that stage. You exuded confidence.  How could you possibly be nervous afterwards, knowing how well you’ve already done?”

“I told you I didn’t know how to explain it. I guess maybe, after all is said and done, I’m left alone with my thoughts, and I start going through the performance over and over again, picking it apart.  I can give you a whole list of things I did wrong.”

Adam smiled warmly.  “And I can’t tell you one thing you did wrong. I’d be willing to bet the Ponderosa that no one else in that crowd could.”

“We’ll see when the reviews come out,” she smiled, though weakly.

Adam squeezed her hands.  “You need to turn in.  We have an early morning.”  He smiled reassuringly and headed for the door with his father.

After Ben had stepped into the hall, and just before Adam was through the door, she stopped him.  “Adam, why was Signora Biscaccianti in your box?”

“I thought it would make your decision about whether or not you want to sing easier if you had a review from an established singer.”  She nodded, and he turned to leave.

“Adam, thank you,” she said, walking to the door.

“What are you thanking me for?”

“For being proud of me,” she said, her eyes becoming misty.

Adam brushed a fallen lock of hair away from her face and looked back into her eyes. “Your family would be proud of you, too.   Good night.”

The next morning Annie came to Shiloh’s room to help her finish her last minute packing and say a very tearful goodbye.  Sniffling, Annie said, “Don’t worry, we’re not a whole country apart anymore.  I can come see you…and you can come to San Francisco.”

Adam came into the room with a porter to move Shiloh’s bags to the coach that would take them to the steamer.  When he saw the two women crying their eyes out, he stopped the porter in the hall, then stepped in, walking to them, putting his arms around their shoulders.  “You two need to stop this.  “You’ll see each other again…and often, I’m sure.”

They stepped apart, collecting themselves.  “How would you know?” mumbled Shiloh as she wiped tears from her eyes.

***
Adam watched her during the trip home, noticing how quiet she had become, speaking only when spoken to.  He suspected she was undecided again about her future and wondered, only for a moment, if he should have left her to the decision she had already made…to walk away from singing.  Then he remembered her performance.  <i>How could she walk away from that?</i>

When they arrived home, Adam accompanied Shiloh to the Flying W. “Let’s go inside,” he said, putting his hand on her back. “I want to show you the parlor.”

“I forgot all about that. Is it finished?” she asked excitedly.

He smiled. “Well, let’s go see.”

She stepped into the parlor, walked to the middle and looked around. The room had been emptied and cleaned. It was noticeably bigger. The fireplace was larger, and was now flanked by windows that let the sunlight in, brightening the room. “Adam, I love it. It feels so much less closed in and dark. I used to hate this room, but the piano was here so I ended up spending a lot of time here. Now, I just need to furnish it.” She turned around to face Adam, who had been watching her. She spread her arms out, touching the open space he had created for her. “I owe you another thanks,” she said timidly.

Shiloh was silent for a moment, the shift from the excitement of San Francisco to her reality at home finally sinking in.  San Francisco and everything that happened there suddenly seemed illusory. “I think I’ll just relax, take a long bath, and turn in early,” said Shiloh. “I hope Hank has been getting ready for the roundup.  I’ll come up tomorrow to see how it’s going.”

“I have something for you before I go,” said Adam. “I’ll be right back.”  Adam went outside to Sport and pulled a newspaper out of his saddlebags, bringing it into the house.  “I didn’t think you would get anything out of this on the trip back home.  I picked up the newspaper on the way out of San Francisco.”   He handed it to Shiloh then took her hand, kissing it.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

When he turned to leave, she spoke again.  “So…you’re doing the Ponderosa first…and then the Flying W.  Just like Micah?”

“Yep,” answered Adam, smiling as he disappeared out the front door.

Shiloh looked at the newspaper in her hand.  She was more nervous than usual about this review; this latest performance being the first time she acted in one of Edwin’s plays.  She slowly unfolded it.  The article in the center of the front page was entitled Sold Out and Spilling into the Streets.  She refolded the paper and laid it on the desk for later.   Then she went to the parlor, sat on the hearth, and stared at the empty space where her piano had been.

<b>Chapter Forty-Three</b>

Shiloh saddled Spirit and left for the branding corral on the Ponderosa where her hands had joined the Cartwright men to begin the roundup.  She took her time, enjoying the feel of sitting a saddle again after fourteen weeks of dresses and petticoats and chemises and corsets and all those things one had to properly wear when in a big city. Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply, taking in all that was the Sierra.  She opened them, pulling Spirit to a stop when she heard a horse coming up behind her.  Turning, she squinted in the sunlight and realized too late that the rider was Sam King, the man she had fired.  By the time she had Spirit turned back toward the branding corral Sam had overcome her and taken her reins.

“Well, Miss Shiloh.  I never expected to see you today, but it’s just as well.  I was gonna pay you a visit, but it looks like you saved me some trouble.”

“What do you want?” she said through clenched teeth, pulling on her reins.

“Why, only what’s due me,” he said, taking hold of her arm, pulling her toward him. Before he could pull her off her horse, she pulled out the riding crop she always had with her and began to whip him until he let go of her reins.  She leaned forward in her saddle, smacking Spirit in the hindquarters with the crop, sending the horse in an all out gallop.  Sam’s horse was bigger, but Spirit was an Arabian, both surefooted and fast, carrying a lighter rider.  Shiloh looked back once, still saw Sam coming after her, and let Spirit run, not daring to look back again.

Riding fast into the branding area, she went past the fire where Hoss was holding the next calf and Adam was heating the iron.  She sat back in the saddle, squeezing with her knees and pulling back on the reins, bringing Spirit to a sliding stop.  Then she quickly turned the horse back around to look for Sam.

“What’s gotten into you?” shouted Adam angrily.

“Sam King’s gotten into me,” she answered just as loud.

Adam looked in the direction from where she came.  “Shiloh, stay here.  Joe, let’s go,” he barked, running to Sport, mounting and taking off after Sam.

Hoss took Spirit’s reins while Shiloh dismounted, still holding the riding crop.  “You use that on the horse or Sam?” he asked.

“Both,” she said, looking back regretfully at Spirit.  “On her rump, just to get her going, but I let Sam have it.  I’m sure he’ll have some marks.”

Hank had been roping the calves and pulling them over to Hoss, but when he saw Shiloh ride in, he dropped his rope and came over.  “Miss Shiloh, are you alright?” he asked, taking her by the arms, looking her up and down.

She managed a smile for him.  “I’m fine, Hank.  I think Sam got the worst end of this,” she said, holding up her crop.

“Well, that’s it.  As long as Sam King’s around, you’re not going anywhere by yourself.”

Shiloh started to object, but Adam and Joe rode back in.  “Anything?”

Adam dismounted and tied Sport to the corral fence.  “We lost him.  Joe, ride into town and let Roy know Sam King’s back, and he’s giving Shiloh trouble.”  Joe nodded and rode away. “Shiloh, I don’t want you to ride anywhere alone until we find him.”  Adam watched her look at Hank, then turn to him with the same displeased expression.  “Not a word,” he ordered, pointing his finger at her.  She twisted her mouth and huffed.  “Billy can stay with you,” he said.

“No, not Billy.”

“Why not?”

“Adam, Billy’s not the sharpest tool in the shed,” explained Hank.

“I don’t want him to get hurt,” said Shiloh adamantly.

“I’ll send someone else back to the ranch with her, Adam.”

Adam looked up at the sun.  “We might as well take a break,” he said, taking her arm and walking her over to the chuck wagon.  Adam squatted down by the fire, dishing up a plate of beans, handing them to Shiloh.  She accepted it and sat down on a log at the perimeter of the clearing.  Adam soon joined her with his own plate.

“Do you know how to use a gun?” he asked, then put a bite of beans in his mouth.

“Daddy showed me how to use a rifle, but I’ve never used a pistol.”

“Until you do, I don’t want you riding out alone.  At least until we find Sam.”

She dropped her spoon in her plate, making a loud clatter.  “I go riding somewhere every day while I’m working with a horse, Adam.   There are times when I need to be alone…that’s an important part of the training.”

He continued eating. “Then someone can watch you from a distance.”

“Why won’t a rifle do?”

He stopped chewing and looked at her. “Because if Sam comes back after you, you need to be able to get to a gun quickly.  It takes too much time to pull a rifle out of a scabbard.”

“How am I gonna learn how to shoot a pistol?”

Adam smiled and continued eating. “I’ll teach you.”  Shiloh steamed.  “Or Joe can teach you.”

She cut her eyes toward him, but didn’t move her head.  “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“In all my years riding all over the ranch, I’ve never needed a gun.”

“And you probably won’t after we find Sam.   But, I’d feel better, and I’m sure Pa and Hank would feel better if you were able to protect yourself.  There’s a lot of other reasons to carry a gun on the ranch besides Sam.”

“Name one.”

“Rattlesnakes.”

After scowling at him for a minute as he ignored her, she finally took another bite.  “How’s the roundup going?”

“I don’t know yet.  It’s too early.  But, I’m afraid the count will be short.  There’s been some rustling.  As a matter of fact, there’s a Cattlemen’s Association meeting the end of this week to discuss it.”

“I’m a member of the Association.  How come I didn’t know about that?”

“Shiloh, there are no women in the Association.”

“My membership papers do not say Amos Whitney.  They say ‘The Owner of the Flying W Ranch’.  That would be me.  I have no intention of being excluded from something that the Flying W had to pay to join just because I’m a woman,” she said obstinately.

Adam looked sideways at her, but let it go.  The clearing at the chuck wagon where all the men were eating was not the place to argue.

She calmed down. “Actually, Adam, I do need to talk to you.  But not here.”

“What about?”

Shiloh’s eyes narrowed, and she stumbled over her words.  “I…well…it’s about…”  She looked toward him, but not at him.   “It’s about the future of the Flying W,” she said, getting up and walking to the wash bucket.

Adam followed her. “You didn’t get the extra land, so you want to talk about mining, is that it?”

She screwed her mouth up. “Well…no…not exactly.”

“What then?”

She turned and headed toward her horse.  “Later.  I have to go.  Bye.”

Adam turned to follow her, but she had trotted to her horse and was already riding away. “Hank, send someone with her.”

<b>Chapter Forty-Four</b>

The roundup for the Ponderosa had been complete, and the men had begun the roundup for the Flying W.   Adam had his cattle counts, and as he had thought, cattle were missing.  Just before the Cattlemen’s Association meeting began, Shiloh approached the door of the office with her membership papers in hand.  She was stopped at the door.

“I’m sorry Miss Whitney, you can’t go in there,” said Harry Meade, who the association had hired to keep everyone but members out.

“Why not, Harry?  I’m a member.  Here’s my membership papers.”

“Miss Whitney, your father was a member.  That don’t make you one.”

“I suggest you read.  Those papers say the owner of the Flying W Ranch.  That’s me.  They do not say Amos Whitney.”

Meade excused himself and took her membership papers into Mr. Simmons, the President of the association.

“I don’t care what these papers say, she’s not a member.”

“Simmons, unless you want her to sue the association, I suggest you let her in and deal with her membership later,” said Adam.

“She’s a woman.  She can’t sue the association.”

“She has a trust.  The trust can sue the association.”

“Simmons, Adam has a point,” said Mr. Jamison.

“You’re the trustee of that trust, aren’t you, Cartwright?”

“I am.  And if she wants the trust to sue, that’s what the trust will do.”

“Meade, let her in,” said Simmons, looking disgustedly at Adam.

When Shiloh walked into the room, Simmons did a double take.  He almost didn’t recognize her dressed in a deep green dress and jacket with black trim with her hair swept strictly up underneath a matching hat.  She looked…mature.

Adam gave her his chair, and pulled another one to the table.  While the men discussed the problem with rustling and Simmons’ solution, Shiloh remained quiet, becoming more and more agitated at how the large ranchers were trying to run the small ranchers out of the territory.  She glared severely at Simmons when he called them ‘greasy sackers’.  He glared back, but she didn’t back down.  The discussion culminated in a vote to hire a range detective, and the only one arguing against it was Adam.

“Excuse me,” she said.  All the men looked at her like she was a leper.  “If you hire a range detective, and he steps one foot on the Flying W, I’ll fill him with buckshot before he knows what hit him.”

“Miss Whitney, as one of the smallest ranches in the association, you don’t carry much weight here,” said Mr. Simmons.

“Mr. Simmons, based on acreage, I am now the third largest ranch in the association.”

Adam slowly turned his head and fixed his stare on her.

“You’re not saying you’d commit murder, are you?” asked Simmons.

“Of course not, Mr. Simmons.  As his employer, you will be responsible for his actions.  I am advising this association that your range detective will be trespassing on Flying W property and as such, I have a right to defend my property by any means necessary, including by the use of a shotgun, without any further warning.  It is your responsibility to warn him.”

Simmons looked at Adam, who caught Simmon’s movement out of the corner of his eye while he continued staring at Shiloh.  He was no longer paying attention to the discussion, knowing full well that he would be outvoted.  “Don’t look at me.  I’m sure she’s within her rights.  She studied business law in college.”

She jerked her head toward him, flaring her nostrils.

“Enough posturing,” said Simmons.  “Let’s vote.  Those in favor say ‘aye’.”  Six men responded.  “Those opposed say ‘no.’”

Adam and Shiloh kept glaring at each other and said “No” in unison.

“The ‘ayes’ have it.”

Both Adam and Shiloh rose to leave the office.  Shiloh walked to her buggy and wasn’t aware that Adam had untied Sport and was walking behind her.  She leaned into the buggy to put her papers under the seat and noticed Adam walking past her, watching while he tied Sport to the back of the buggy.

“What are you doing?”

He walked over to her, took her arm and forced her up into the buggy, climbing in behind her.  She looked at him angrily, crossed her arms, and turned her body away from him.  They rode in silence until they were out of town.

“When were you going to tell me you won that bid?”

“Why are you checking up on me?”

They began to talk over each other, ranting on their respective topics, going on for several minutes before they each concluded they were getting nowhere.  Shiloh turned away and crossed her arms again.  Adam breathed.

“Your father asked me to keep up with your progress.   I corresponded with Miss Henderson while you were away.”

“I’m not away.”

“It was obvious you were avoiding the question of your extra studies.  Then you understood the trust paperwork enough to threaten me with court on the point of the horses.  And in San Francisco, you didn’t ask about bid procedures at all.  The only problem you had was understanding the worth of the land.  So, I asked.  What I don’t understand is why you felt the need to hide it.”

“They were courses that aren’t even considered for women.  I didn’t want to hear the criticism, but if you must know, I took two courses. One was basic business law so I could understand my rights as a ranch owner, and the other was contracting so I could understand the legal documents.  I have proven that I can run the ranch.  I don’t need a nursemaid, and I don’t appreciate you prying.”

“I might have agreed with you if you hadn’t won that bid.  But you’re in way over your head.”

“You’re acting like I did that on purpose.  You said yourself I didn’t have a chance.”

“If I had known that you knew anything about legal documents or contracting, I wouldn’t have said that.  Why didn’t you tell me when you won?”

“I was in the middle of a rehearsal.  It was frightening when I received the note, but I didn’t have the luxury to dwell on it.  I told you I needed to talk to you the day Sam King chased after me, but you haven’t had the time.”

Adam softened. “You wanted to talk to me about the bid?”

Her chin quivered almost imperceptibly.  “Yes.  I think the bid was a good bid, but…I’m in way over my head,” she answered quietly, looking down at her hands.

He looked over at her and took her hand.  “Do you have it with you?”  She nodded.  Adam took her to the Ponderosa and began looking at the contract and her bid portfolio.

<b>Chapter Forty-Five</b>

Adam sat in the leather chair next to the fireplace with his feet propped up on the coffee table reading Shiloh’s bid while she paced the floor.  He laid the portfolio and contract in his lap, lay his head back on the back of the chair and closed his eyes. After a few minutes, he leaned up in the chair and dropped the bid material on the table, then propped his arms on his legs, letting his hands hang between them, exhaling loudly.

Shiloh turned when she heard him, looking at him expectantly.

He glanced up at her, wanting her to see his chagrin.  “You know this bid could have cost you the ranch.”

She bit her bottom lip.  “Adam, I know it’s a good bid. I didn’t think Mr. Stanton would trust me enough to give it to me though.”  Then, she lowered her head.  “I also understood the risk…but, that was one thing I wanted to talk to you about.  I was going to ask you…to teach me about timber.”

“How did you pay him?”

Suddenly, her muscles were so tight they hurt.  “I…I’ve been putting the money I get for the horses in a new account…in my name,” she said, turning away, wincing.

Adam stood up abruptly and walked to the other side of the coffee table, turning and glowering at her.  “I guess I’ll have to start going over your books again…including the horse ledger.”  He watched her, expecting a remark, but instead she just looked at him, then looked away again.   “He didn’t have to trust you.  He couldn’t lose.   Either you deliver, and he makes more money for his client, or you don’t deliver, and his client not only gets his land back, but he comes after your ranch for breach of contract.”

Shiloh shrank back.  “I was confident that you’d teach me about timber when I put that bid together, Adam.  I was taught that when you’re just getting started you should be prepared to take bigger risks…that being the only way you’d make any gains.”

“What would you have done if I didn’t have the time to help you, and you couldn’t find anyone else to help you, and you lost the ranch?”

“Sing?” she answered in a tiny voice, smiling nervously.

Adam closed his eyes, breathing deeply.  “Shiloh, the bid is a good bid.  You went in with a lower initial investment, which was smart considering you were a smaller ranch, and you offered him more on the back end ensuring that the investment produced the rest…another smart move.  But, you took a huge risk having no knowledge of the timber business.  The ranch is your home, the only one you’ve ever known.”

She clasped her hands in front of her.  “I know,” she replied.  “If you don’t want to help me, I understand.  I’m prepared to pay someone to handle the timber for me.”

Adam cocked his head and looked away, exasperated.  “The ranch is my responsibility, Shiloh.  We’ll manage.”

“It doesn’t have to be your responsibility if you don’t want it.  I’m perfectly capable of running it by myself.  You can always close the trust.”

“Ho…o…o…oh.  Don’t start,” he said, crooking his lower jaw.  “I’ll discuss this with Pa tonight, and we’ll figure something out.  But right now, I need to get to your branding corral.  I’ll take you by the house first.”

“I can find my way home,” she said belligerently, walking to the door.

“Where’s Johnny?  Isn’t he supposed to be with you?”

“I told him I didn’t need him today.”

Adam took his hat and gun from the cabinet at the front door.  “I’ll speak to Johnny myself then.  Let’s go.”

Shiloh sat quietly in the seat of the buggy.  She knew he was angry, but he also seemed…disappointed.  When had she gotten so afraid of disappointing anyone?  Maybe after the embarrassment of leaving school.  She didn’t want to disappoint Adam.  She wanted him to be proud of her.  Wait…when did she start caring about what Adam really thought of her?  All she had wanted was for him to see she could run the ranch. Slumping somewhere in the middle of her thoughts, she quickly sat up straight, gathering her resolve around her.  What difference did it make whether Adam was proud of her or not?  She didn’t need Adam to run the ranch.  She had never needed Adam to run the ranch.  Her nostrils flared, and as he drove the buggy into the yard of the Flying W, she felt strong enough to stand her ground.

Adam helped her out of the buggy, then smiled at her and bent down to kiss her forehead.

“What was that for?” she asked.

“The effort.”

Her resolve slipped away.

<b>Chapter Forty-Six</b>

The Cartwright and Flying W hands finished the Flying W roundup and both ranches began to get ready for a cattle drive into San Francisco.  They would take four weeks to drive fifteen hundred cattle to the coast. While the men were celebrating the end of the roundup in town for the evening, the Cartwrights stayed home, resting for the long, arduous drive.

Ben sat down in the leather chair, reached over and picked up the stack of papers on the coffee table. “What’s this?”

“<i>That</i> is Shiloh’s bid for the land up north,” answered Adam.

“Why do we have it?”

“Look closer, Pa.  You’ll find a sales contract in there.”  Ben shot him a skeptical look.  Adam answered with raised eyebrows, nodding.

Sitting back in the chair, Ben began to read.  Adam watched his father as he creased his eyebrows, then a minute later he raised them, following that with a circled mouth, and finally, when he laid the paperwork in his lap, a slow smile crossed his face, and he chuckled.

“What could you possibly find amusing in that?” asked Adam, perplexed.

“Do you remember those first years when we were building the Ponderosa?”  Adam nodded.  What you may not remember because you weren’t directly involved…you were just a young boy…is the number of times I put the Ponderosa at risk so it could grow.  Of course, I’d never do that now, it’s much too big.  But, in more recent years, we put up acreage as collateral for a number of risky investments.”

“Pa, that’s her home.  Her family is buried there.”

“Adam, the Ponderosa is our home.  It’s the only home you three boys have ever known.” He scoffed at Adam’s agitation.  “You have to be impressed by this.  She has a good head for business.  Any businessman knows you have to take risks. The difference between who wins and who loses is who’s willing to take the bigger risk.  And from where I’m sitting, it looks like she did her research, and she evaluated what it would take to learn timber.  She knew you would teach her.  So, the risk appears to be acceptable.”

Adam puckered his lips, thinking he’d done it again…judged her based on his inability to control every situation rather than on the merits of her actions.  He raised his eyebrows and shrugged.  “Well, in that case, I need to stay home this time, so I can teach her about timber,” he said, trying to sound burdened.

“Oh no you don’t,” piped Joe, running down the stairs.  “You stayed home the last cattle drive.  It’s your turn to go.”

“Joseph, not this time,” said Ben calmly.  “He’s taken on the responsibility of the Flying W.  He has business to attend to.”

Adam hurriedly gathered up all the paperwork and went to the door. “I’m heading over to Shiloh’s to talk to her about this,” he said as he took his hat and gun belt and quickly exited.  Once Sport was saddled and he was on his way, he took his time.  He was certainly happy he didn’t have to go on this cattle drive, but he wasn’t in a hurry to see Shiloh.  He was still perturbed with her.

When he arrived at the Flying W, Clegg, the range detective hired by the Cattlemen’s Association was there, watering his horse.  “Didn’t Simmons tell you not to come here?” asked Adam, as he dismounted and tied Sport.

“Yeah, he told me, Cartwright.  I have job to do.   If Miss Whitney thinks she can run me off with a shotgun, she’s welcome to try.”

They both stopped when they heard the unmistakable click of a shotgun barrel locking.  When they turned around, they were looking down the barrels of Shiloh’s shotgun.  “Adam, get out of the way,” she said.

Adam stepped next to her, crossed his hands in front of him and smiled at Clegg, who looked at him in disbelief.  “Cartwright, now you wouldn’t let the lady shoot me with that thing, would you?”

“You were warned, you know.”

“Miss Whitney, that’s not very neighborly.  I’m just waterin’ my horse.”

“You’re not my neighbor.  Leave.”

“If you’ve got nothin’ to hide, you’ve got nothin’ to worry about.”

“Clegg, I’ve got nothing to hide. I just don’t approve of your ways, and I’m not going to bend to the association’s misguided methods.”

“Does she know how to shoot it?”

“Well, it is a shotgun. Just point and shoot, and she’s liable to hit something, especially if she pulls both triggers.”

“And you’re not gonna do anything to stop her?”

“Nope.”

Clegg turned to mount his horse.  “Miss Whitney, how do you think you’re gonna keep me off your property with all your men leaving on a cattle drive?”

“All of my men aren’t leaving, and they’re certainly not taking my shotgun with them.  Next time I see you here, I won’t be having a conversation with you.”  Clegg tipped his hat and slowly walked his horse out of the yard.

Adam put his hand on the barrel of the gun, lowering it.  “Do you know anything about recoil?”

“What?”

“Thought so.  You need to let me teach you how to shoot.”

Shiloh turned to the house.  “What brings you out here this late, Adam?”

“I spoke to Pa about your land.  I won’t be going on this drive so I can teach you about timber.  I’m also going to teach you how to shoot, and your first lesson will be with this shotgun,” he said, quickly grabbing the barrel and pulling the gun out of her hands.

She spun around angrily, facing him.  “As you said, you just point and shoot.”

“Alright,” he said, giving her the gun back. “See that log over there?  Shoot it.  Both barrels.”

<b>Chapter Forty-Seven</b>

The next day, Shiloh drove the buckboard to the Ponderosa’s west corral where Hank and the men were driving the Flying W herd. She went to the chuck wagon and began to unload her share of the supplies that would be needed to feed her men. The Cartwrights were moving their cattle to the same corral. She had arrived about the same time they were taking a break.

Ben rode up and stepped down from Buck. “Shiloh, let the boys do that.” Adam, Hoss and Joe started moving supplies from her buckboard as Ben took Shiloh’s arm, pulling her away. He looked down at her, asking quietly, “How’s your shoulder today?”

Shiloh glanced up at him, and then looked away suddenly ashamed, realizing that Adam had told him about the shotgun butt that had slammed into her shoulder and knocked her flat on her backside. “I’m fine, Mr. Cartwright.”

Adam walked over to stand next to her and pulled a gun out of the back of his belt. She stood glaring at him while he studied it, spinning the cylinder. “What are you doing with my father’s gun?”

“I took it home last night to clean it before you learn to use it.” Adam put the gun back in his belt. She closed her eyes for a moment, remembering Miss Henderson’s words.

The Cartwrights finished loading the chuck wagon and said their goodbyes. Ben gave Adam a knowing glance and waved. Everyone but Adam and Shiloh mounted up and started driving cattle while Adam tied Sport to the back of Shiloh’s buckboard and climbed onto the seat.

“What are you doing?” Shiloh asked warily.

Adam scratched his neck. “I’m taking you home to teach you how to use this gun.”

“I don’t want you to teach me how to use that gun,” she said edgily. She started walking toward the Flying W.

Adam took a deep breath and sat straight up, cocking his head and looking up at the sky. “Shiloh, you have a choice.” He looked back at her. “You can either get up here on your own or I’ll put you up here. It doesn’t matter to me one way or another.”

She stopped and hung her head, but didn’t turn around. “Adam, this can only end one way and that’s badly. Why do you want to push this?” she asked, flaring her nostrils, feeling her guts winding into a knot.

He pressed his lips together and took a deep breath. “Because if you are going to stay on the ranch and ride all over it alone, you need to learn how to protect yourself. The best and easiest way for you to do that is with a gun.” He started down out of the seat, but she clenched her fists and trudged toward him. If she had to sit in the seat, she was not going to be placed there. The two sat silently while Adam drove the buckboard back to the Flying W. When they arrived, he climbed down and offered his hand to her. She got down on the other side, keeping the buckboard between them. “I’m not even going to considering closing the trust until you can protect yourself.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Oh, that is just not fair. I don’t need to know how to shoot a gun to run this ranch.”

Adam crossed his arms, unmoving. Shiloh turned away, so frustrated she was about to cry. She jumped when Adam put his hands on her shoulders. “Why is this so hard for you?”

“Micah,” she whispered, struggling to hold back her tears. “His gun didn’t save him. Neither did yours.”

He turned her to face him. “Most of us don’t want to point a gun at a man, but we know there is always a possibility we’ll have to defend ourselves. There’s a huge responsibility that goes with wearing a gun.”

“I don’t think I could shoot a person, Adam, even if that person was threatening me.”

Adam smiled. “You pointed a gun at Clegg.”

“I had no intention of pulling the trigger.”

“There are other reasons to carry a gun…rattlesnakes…remember?” He turned her face up toward his. “I don’t expect you to carry a gun everywhere you go. I just want you to wear it while you’re out by yourself. This is a big ranch, and it just got bigger.” She looked up at him with moist, round, blue eyes. Adam met them, looking into them for a moment. “Come on. Let’s go inside.”

“You don’t expect me to shoot it inside, do you?”

“No,” he chuckled. “Why don’t I just show you how to clean and load it today? I’ll teach you how to shoot it tomorrow.” She took the hand he offered and walked toward the house.

“What’s this?” asked Adam, bending to pick up a bunch of dead flowers.

“They were lying in front of the door this morning; just a bunch of dead roses wrapped in a ribbon.” Adam furrowed his brow as he looked down at her. “I thought the same thing, Adam. Sam.”

For the next four weeks, both ranches were quiet. Both Adam and Shiloh went about their normal daily business, and several days each week, Adam taught Shiloh how to shoot the gun. They had gone into Virginia City and purchased a gun belt for her and now, when they practiced, she wore the belt.

Today, he had her practice taking the gun out of the holster, pointing the gun toward a target and shooting.

“I’m never going to hit anything like this, Adam.”

“Remember, a man is big target. Most of the time you won’t be aiming like you did at the bottles. You need to get the gun out of your holster fast enough to bring it up before a man gets to you, otherwise it won’t do you any good. Here, I’ll show you.” He held out his hand. “Empty the gun.” She flipped the cylinder out and turned the gun up, letting the bullets fall into Adam’s hand. “Now, I’m going to come at you,” he said, backing away from her. “When I say ‘go’, I want you to pull the gun out of your holster and point it at me.” She nodded and squared her feet.

“Ready? Go.” Shiloh grabbed the grip of the gun, but before she had it all the way out of the holster, Adam had already run to her and wrapped his arms around her. “There, you see. You need to practice that.” He stood holding her, looking from her eyes to her lips as he slowly bent closer. When he kissed her, she couldn’t think of anything but how his arms felt around her, how soft his lips felt on hers, and what was that warmth she felt start in her gut and move through her? When the kiss was over, she stepped away from him, unable to look him in the eye.

Adam took the bullets out of his pocket and held them out to Shiloh. When she reached to take them, he noticed that her hand was trembling. Instead of pouring the bullets into her open hand, he put them back in his pocket, then took her hand in his. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

She managed a slight smile and opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

“That’s enough shooting lessons today. I need to get back to the Ponderosa,” he said, making his way over to Sport. Before he got there, he turned back. “Don’t forget, there will be a party at the Ponderosa after everyone gets back from the cattle drive. When Micah was here, all the Flying W hands came. I think we need to get back to that tradition.”

Looking down at her hands, she said, “I’m sure your father will let them know that on the way back, but I’ll make sure to tell them anyway.

“Shiloh, that includes you.”

“I didn’t really do anything for the cattle drive.”

He laughed. “How can you say that? You supplied half the men, cattle and supplies.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

He took a few steps toward her, stopping when she stepped back. “Shiloh, as the owner of the Flying W that’s as it should be.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Adam nodded, understanding he wasn’t going to get much more out of her. He turned to mount Sport, and when he turned back, the front door of the house was just closing behind her.

<b>Chapter Forty-Eight</b>

The Cartwright and Flying W hands arrived home the following evening. Two days later, the party celebrating the end of the successful cattle drive was in full swing by the time Shiloh arrived at the Ponderosa. Adam stood in front of the hearth, watching the door. He had already decided that if she didn’t walk through the front door in the next few minutes, he was going to get her. He wanted her there, but more importantly, she deserved to be there. He began to make his way through the dancing couples, but before he reached her, his father took her attention.

“Shiloh, I’m glad you made it. Adam mentioned you might not come, but this is as much for you as anyone.”

“Thank you, Mr. Cartwright. I haven’t had a chance to speak to you about the land bid since we returned from San Francisco. I feel I owe you an apology. I never expected to win that bid,” she said.

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for. I read your bid. I was impressed as I’m sure Mr. Stanton was.”

She swallowed and smiled slightly. “Now all I need to do is learn the timber business. Adam offered to teach me.”

When Adam joined Ben and Shiloh near the front door, Ben excused himself. “If you two will excuse me, I see a young lady who needs a dance partner.”

“Speaking of dance partners, would you like to dance?” Adam asked.

She glanced up at him, smiled and gave him her hand. She didn’t look at his face during the entire dance, and when it was over she politely thanked him and walked toward the punch bowl. Adam hurriedly followed, making it to the table first and pouring her a cup of punch. “Adam, thank you, but I’m sure there are other women here who need a dance partner.”

“That may be true, but none that I’m interested in dancing with,” he said, smiling.

“I’m sorry, but I really didn’t come to dance.”

“Shiloh, it’s a dance,” he chuckled. Why else did you come?”

“I came because I was afraid you would come get me if I didn’t come. If I had to come, I preferred getting here under my own steam,” she answered.

He narrowed his eyes. “Why don’t we talk about that?” he asked as he put his arm around her back and guided her out the door to the porch. Shiloh walked to the edge of the porch just out of Adam’s reach where he stopped to lean back on the table, crossing his arms. He sat watching her for a few moments as she continued to avoid his eyes. “I upset you.”

“I’m not upset.”

“Then what are you?” he asked softly.

“I don’t know. I just have some thinking to do.”

“Is it Will?”

“Goodness, no,” she laughed, walking to the table and sitting down. Adam sat down next to her. She glanced up at him with a wrinkled brow and a frown. “Adam, I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“San Francisco. Lilly Woodward. I should have stopped him.” He smiled and winked. “I suppose I didn’t handle Will well in Boston,” she said, looking out into the night sky. “I told him I’d think about it. And I did.” She looked over at Adam then looked at her hands as she fidgeted. “Any other girl in my position…unattached, I mean, would have had to consider the easy life he could offer. But, the expectation of sitting, smiling and looking pretty didn’t seem like much of a life. I would never have had to cook or clean. I would have had beautiful clothes, and I’d have gone to party after party. I’d have been bored to tears.” Adam watched as she shrank into the seat. “He said I’d learn to love him.”

“But you don’t.”

“No, I don’t. I honestly believe if I had to live like that I’d learn to hate him. And as it turns out, he’s not a very…scrupulous…man, either. Besides, I don’t want to marry a man for material comfort or security. I want to be in love with the man I marry. I want to enjoy falling in love.”

”There’s nothing wrong with that,” said Adam, leaning back in his chair. “Is it Micah?”

This time she looked him in the eye, considering him. “Until you forced me to learn to shoot, I hadn’t thought about the gunfight for a while, Adam. I’m not sure how I feel.”

“You know I did that for your own good.”

“No, I don’t. What if I could get the thing out of my holster fast enough? I’d never be able to pull the trigger. I don’t think I could live with myself if I took someone’s life.”

“You’ve never felt that kind of fear. How do you know how you would react?” She glanced up at the ceiling of the porch and then looked away, saying nothing. “This is the difference between living in a city like Boston, or even Virginia City, and living on a ranch thirty miles from the nearest town. You have to be able to defend yourself.”

She looked back at him and smiled weakly. “I defended myself just fine with a riding crop.”

“Do you think Sam will let you get away with that again?”

Her smile faded, and she propped her chin in her hand. “I suppose, Adam, I have forgiven you, for the most part. I don’t know why you didn’t talk him out of walking into that street in the first place.”

Adam clasped his hands on the table in front of him. “We had gone into town together after a roundup. I headed for the saloon. Micah didn’t come straight to the saloon, and when I went out looking for him, he was already in the street facing Horton. It was too late for me to stop him.”

She sighed. “I keep wondering how things would be if you had helped him.”

“I can answer that.” She looked at him, raising her eyebrows. “I didn’t know it at the time, but the other Horton brothers were there, hiding in the shadows. “If I had drawn my gun to help Micah, we’d both be dead.”

She shuddered as icy chills ran through her. “Why didn’t anyone tell me that?”

“We put off telling you anything until we felt you were old enough to deal with it. If we had told you the other Hortons were there, we were afraid you would have…” Adam sat up to the table.

“You were afraid I would have thought that you didn’t do anything to save your own neck.” Adam nodded. Shiloh placed her hand on his and smiled. “I might have then. I know better now.”

Adam let out a deep breath and smiled. “So, if it’s not Will, and it’s not Micah, what is it?”

“It’s awkward, that’s what it is. That’s part of it anyway.”

“Awkward,” he said with raised eyebrows.

“Adam, my memories of you…in my earliest memories, you carried me on your shoulder. You used to pinch my nose, and then tell me you had it in your hand. You and Micah used to toss Joe and me around in the snow.” Adam smiled, remembering. “When you were substituting at school, you used to reprimand me for my attitude…’Don’t take that tone with me, young lady.’”

Adam laughed. “You remember that?” He took her hands in his. “You’re not a four year old or a twelve year old. You’re a grown woman…a very talented, very intelligent, very lovely young woman,” he said, gently brushing a stray strand of hair from her face.

She blushed, but continued. “And then there’s this,” she said quietly, handing him a telegram that she pulled from her bodice. “That came today. Edwin’s coming back to Virginia City right after they close the season. He wants me to go back to Boston with them to get ready for Europe.”

“Are you going?”

“I know I said I didn’t want to sing. But, after this last performance…and the reviews…I haven’t made up my mind yet. Do you remember when Signora Biscaccianti gave me the rose…she whispered in my ear?” Adam nodded. “She said I was doing what I was meant to do. She told me not to waste the gift. And there were the reviews in the <i>Alta California </i>and the <i>Territorial Enterprise</i>. People don’t think of me as a fledgling anymore. Even the acting reviews were good. But, I have to think about the ranch, too. I don’t want to lose it.”

“You shouldn’t let the ranch stop you. It’ll run fine with Hank as the foreman, and I can take care of the business end. Even the timber contracts.”

“What about Sam?”

“I would think he’d give up if you aren’t here.” She scowled. “Has something else happened?” Adam asked, sitting up straight.

“Someone got into the tack room and cut some of the cinch straps. I can only assume it was Sam.” She took a deep breath. “I don’t even know if I’m going yet. The question I’m struggling with is if I need to go. I still don’t want to do opera. The reviews actually had a paragraph about American singers running off to Europe leaving their American public behind. Then again, Europe has so much to see and do…I just don’t know,” she said, bending her head into her hands, looking down at the table.

Adam furrowed his brow for only a moment then stood, asking for her hand. “I should take you inside. It’s getting chilly out here. Besides, I think there’s still a chance you might actually enjoy this party.”

She looked up and smiled, giving him her hand.

<b>Chapter Forty-Nine</b>

When Ben sat down at the breakfast table, Adam’s coffee cup was half full and his napkin was lying in his plate.  “Where’s Adam?” he asked, looking at Joe and Hoss.

“He was just leaving as we came down,” said Joe.  “He said he’s going to teach Shiloh about timber today.  I thought he was supposed to do that while we were driving cattle.”

“He said he did, but he spent more time teaching her how to use a gun,” said Ben.

“Well, he’s takin’ her up to the new property.  He wanted to take a look at that ridge again and see if he can figure out how to get that timber down off it,” explained Hoss.

Joe shook his head. “I don’t know how he does it.  He danced until midnight with Shiloh and then got up before light.” He looked up at his father.  “He sure spends a lot of time with her.  You don’t suppose he’s…”  He raised his eyebrows.

Ben didn’t answer, but tilted his head, smiling slightly, and raised his eyebrows.

“The question, Little Brother, is why he does it.  That little gal might not even be here for the next couple a years.”

Ben quickly looked over at Hoss.  “What do you mean?”

“Adam said she got a telegram from that Mr. Booth fella.  He’s comin’ to Virginia City to talk her into goin’ to Europe with him.”

“What else did Adam say?”

“Well, nothin’, Pa.  But, I got the idea he wasn’t real happy about it.”  Ben creased his eyebrows thoughtfully.

***

Shiloh was out riding Spec this morning, checking her out one more time before she presented her to a buyer.  She rode the horse through one of her favorite glades, with grass the bright green that comes with the milder temperatures just before winter, and scattered, magnificent old oaks; the kind that have huge limbs the size of tree trunks, spreading out, throwing shade all around.

As Spec ambled around the perimeter of the trees, Shiloh stopped and started her again, testing her different gaits, from a walk, to an amble, to a canter, and while she was cantering, Shiloh asked her to change her leading side.  Spec was turning out to be one of the most obedient horses she had trained.

When Spec started ambling toward a tree and didn’t respond to the reins, Shiloh started looking for Adam.  She was close to one of the oaks, unable to see the other side, when she realized Spec was headed toward one of the huge limbs that was just a little higher off the ground than the horse was tall.

“Spec, no.  Whoa.   Ah, come on.  Not the tree.  Spec.  Spec!   SPEC!”

Adam hadn’t seen them on the other side of the tree, but when Spec came out from under the limb by herself, he kicked Sport into a trot, stopped and jumped off Sport just as he got to Spec, running to the tree.

The limb was the perfect height for Shiloh to lean into from Spec’s back, and when Adam looked up, she was hanging comfortably with her elbow propped on the wide branch, holding her chin in her hand.

“Nice day to just…hang around, isn’t it?” said Adam, looking up into the tree, smiling smugly.  A handful of acorns shot down from the tree toward him.

He dodged them.  “I’ll be right back.”

In another minute, Adam was underneath her on Sport.  He moved backward off the saddle, reached up, taking her by the waist, and pulled her down onto Sport.  Then he rode over to Spec and took her reins while Shiloh stepped from Sport’s stirrup to Spec’s stirrup.   Adam guided Spec back to the Flying W while Shiloh sat on her without saying a word, smoldering.

When they arrived at the Flying W, Adam held the reins while Shiloh dismounted.  He was sure Spec wouldn’t do anything once Shiloh was down.  When the horses were tied, Adam asked, “Are you alright?”

She looked broodingly up at him.  “I don’t mean to be rude, but why are you here?   You’re supposed to stay away when I’m on Spec.”

“Honestly, I didn’t realize you were there until after Spec left you in the tree,” he said, chuckling.  “Anyway, I thought you and I could take a ride to your new property today for another tree lesson…and maybe go back to the house this evening for dinner.”

“On one condition,” she said, crossing her arms and looking at him thoughtfully.

“What’s that?”

“I need to exercise Max and Eli, and you wanted to know what difference my training makes, so…would you ride Max today?” she asked, hopefully glancing sideways at him.

“Don’t I need special training to ride one of your horses?”

“I can tell you what you need to know on the way.”

“Alright,” he said, smiling.

While they unsaddled their horses, Shiloh asked, “What’s that?” nodding toward the basket Adam had untied from Sport’s saddle.

“I thought we could have a picnic by the stream up there.”

Once Max and Eli were saddled with the picnic basket tied on Max, they headed toward Shiloh’s new property with Shiloh telling Adam how to communicate with the horse.  “The way you communicate with Max will be very similar to how you are with Sport…maybe just a little more subtle.  The difference is that you’ll give Max more room.  His stride will be different…longer.  When halting from a walk, you don’t have to pull back on the reins at all.  You will apply a little pressure with both your knees and sit back in the saddle. When you want him to move forward, give him the reins, release your knees and sit forward in the saddle.”   When both horses were up to an amble, Adam turned toward Shiloh with his mouth open, amazed by the smooth ride and the very subtle communication with the horse; a touch of the neck with the reins, the gentle pressure of the knee, or a slight shift in the saddle.

When they reached a clearing just below the ridge, they stopped for their picnic.  Hop Sing sent sandwiches made with his tender roast beef and two big slices of chocolate cake along with some cookies.

“Have you thought anymore about Europe?” asked Adam, sitting next to her on a blanket spread over the ground.

Shiloh smiled, choosing a cookie to nibble over the chocolate cake.  “I haven’t stopped thinking about it.  I think it would have been a much easier decision if Signora Biscaccianti hadn’t spoken to me.”

“Oh, why is that?” Adam asked with narrowed eyes.

“It would have been so easy to just stay home.  I read the reviews, but I don’t know anything about the people that write those articles, so I don’t know what their motivation is.  Is it to tell the truth…without embellishment?  I don’t think so.  They all embellish their stories.  Is it just to get their story published?  I’m sure that happens quite a bit as well.  I never thought of myself as a great singer, even though the articles were always enthusiastic.  I just never put that much stock in them.  But, something like that coming from someone who knows what they’re talking about…who has lived it.  One has to take notice of that.  I just wish I had more time to speak with her.  I have so many questions I’d like to ask her.”  She turned to him. “You spoke to her.  Did she say anything else?”

“Mostly what she told you.  I didn’t ask her to come to your performance.  She saw you perform at the Presidio and showed up at your last performance insisting on seeing you.”

“Adam, it all comes down to figuring out whether I need to go.  I don’t think I’d want to just see Europe this way.  It would be very lonely.  I think something like that should be shared with someone.  I’m sure there’s a great deal for me to learn, but is the best place to learn it in Europe?  Maybe opera, but I really have no desire to do opera.  And if I do end up going …if that’s all there is in Europe…well, I suppose I could come back early if it doesn’t work out.”

He guided her hand to his mouth, taking a bite of her cookie.  “I think…maybe…you should think about something else for awhile,” he said, leaning into her, turning her face to his with his hand, and kissing her softly…tenderly.  He moved away slightly, watching her blush.  Her bright, blue eyes looked into his, and he drew her into him and kissed her again, this time pressing his lips to hers and wrapping his arms around her, tightening his hold as he felt her give in to him.  He backed away, touching her cheek with the back of his fingers.  “Today, you’re learning about trees,” he said, standing and holding his hand down to her.

They put the food and blanket away, and rode up to the top of the ridge. Once the horses were tied, Adam took Shiloh’s hand, and together they walked into the forest.

That evening, when they arrived at the Ponderosa, Ben was sitting on the front porch reading, waiting for dinner.  He looked up, watching the vision of the two, riding in on matching midnight black horses whose manes were swept gently back by the breeze.  The image of the two magnificent animals was breathtaking.  He approached them and held the reins while Adam gingerly stepped down out of the stirrup.

“He’s just about too tall for me,” he laughed.

Shiloh had swung her leg over Eli and was sitting sideways in the saddle.  She slid into Adam’s waiting hands, and he gently lowered her to the ground.

Ben stroked Max’s nose. “Max still looks as good as he did when your father rode him.   I always admired these horses.  Of course, I don’t have much use for one here, but if I were back in the city, it would be a delight to own one.”

“Mr. Cartwright,” said Shiloh, looking up at him with smiling eyes, “you are welcome to ride Max whenever you want.”

That evening at dinner, Adam told the Cartwrights his ideas for getting the hardwood timber off the ridge on Shiloh’s property.  She spoke excitedly about everything she learned, from choosing and marking trees to estimating the board feet with such happy enthusiasm, she had them all smiling.

After dinner, Adam rode home with her, trading Max for Sport.  Before he left, he walked Shiloh to her front door.  “I understand now why you do what you do with these horses.  Not only are they a pleasure to ride, they’re all very regal animals.”

“My father gets all the credit.  He started this long before I was born.  I just hope I’ve got it all written down correctly.  Adam, do you know anything about the ships that sail to Europe?”

He smiled and leaned on the door frame.  “Why do you ask?”

“Edwin will be here tomorrow.  He’ll be leaving the day after.  I have to give him my answer.  I’ve heard the quarters on the ships are very small…with low ceilings.”   She wrapped her arms around her waist and looked down.

Adam stood and took her hands in his.  “I’m sure arrangements can be made that will work for you.”

“Do you think I should go?” she asked, looking hopefully into his eyes…looking for a reason to stay.

“It wouldn’t be the same here without you.”  He pulled her into him. “I’d miss you,” he said quietly as he bent to kiss her.   “But, I would never try to talk you out of it.”

<b>Chapter Fifty</b>

Edwin Booth arrived on the noon stage and was greeted by Shiloh and Adam. Adam invited him to the Ponderosa for dinner where the conversation quickly turned to Europe.

“We will travel back to Boston and will plan our itineraries there before leaving for Europe,” said Edwin. “You don’t need to bring your stage wardrobe. Your costumes will be made there.”

Shiloh hadn’t looked Edwin in the eye all evening. It was as if she was afraid of something…something besides cramped quarters on a ship. “Edwin, tell me what Europe will be like.”

“You will live in exquisitely decorated suites. You will have servants to tend to your every need. You will practice with the orchestras every weekday unless of course, we are traveling. Your Saturday mornings will be at your leisure, your afternoons will be for rest, and you will give a performance in the evening. Sunday will be entirely your own.” She looked at him in dismay. “Don’t worry,” Edwin said, patting her hand. “You will have plenty of breaks. You’re performances will be on alternating nights from mine. You’ll have a wonderful time.”

She looked down at the pattern on the table cloth, distracted for only a moment while all that Edwin described sunk in. To her, it sounded remarkably similar to the way she had described life with Will, ending in ‘you’ll learn to love it’.

“Why, again, do you want me to go, Edwin?”

“Why, Isabella, you’ll be working with many of the great singers in Europe. When you come home to America, you’ll be famous and in great demand. Plus,” he said leaning toward her, smiling, “you’ll get to see Europe.”

She smiled and nodded, hearing Signora Biscaccianti’s voice echo in her head. This is want you are meant to do. Don’t waste this gift.

Adam watched her demeanor change as Edwin spoke. She looked…sad. He touched her hand, getting her to look him in the eye, and when she did, he sucked in a quiet breath. Her bright, happy eyes had turned dark and dull. Still, he would say nothing discouraging to her.

After dinner, Shiloh excused herself to the front porch while Edwin and Adam sat with Ben, sipping brandy. Adam looked to the door, making sure Shiloh wasn’t within earshot. “Edwin, Signora Biscaccianti said that if Shiloh doesn’t want to sing opera, there’s no reason for her to go to Europe…that she can be successful here on her own.”

“I hope you’re not going to tell her that, Adam. The last thing she needs to hear is something that will ruin a once in a lifetime opportunity for her. Do you realize how few American singers are successful in Europe? Isabella has the voice to be one of those few.”

“What’s in this for you, Edwin? You’ve told her the decision is hers alone, but you seem to be pushing her.”

“If you’re asking if I need her to go to Europe with me, the answer is no. I will have separate bookings from her. We won’t be doing any performances together. The body of my work will be Shakespeare.” He leaned up, looking Adam in the eye. “I don’t want her to walk away from all her hard work. She deserves this chance, Adam.”

“Even if it’s not what she wants?”

Edwin sat back and sighed. “She needs to decide that for herself.”

The next morning, Ben, Adam and Edwin headed to the Flying W to pick Shiloh up. Adam loaded her bags in the back and helped her into the front seat with his father. While Edwin and Adam spoke on the way to town, Shiloh sat quietly, watching her beloved Sierra go by. She breathed deeply from time to time, taking in the smells, hoping that she would be able to remember them while she was gone. When Ben stopped the buggy in front of the stage office, the stagecoach was already taking on passengers. Edwin made sure her bags were loaded, as Adam and Ben said goodbye.

“I’d like to hear how you’re doing from you, not from the newspaper,” Adam said, smiling.

She smiled back, though her eyes were not smiling with her. “I promise, I’ll write. Thank you for taking care of the ranch for me. You have no idea what a relief it is to know it will be here when I get back.”

Adam took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead, looking into her eyes one more time. She looked back, holding his gaze for a moment before she stepped up to Ben, who smiled and wrapped his arms around her, whispering in her ear. “I’m sure this is frightening for you, but you’ll do fine. Remember, you have family here.”

She nodded, hesitated, looking one more time at Adam, and walked to the stage where Edwin helped her up. Edwin shook Adam’s hand, and looked at both Cartwrights. “I’ll take care of her. Rest assured.”

In another minute, the stage driver released the break, flicked the reins, and the stagecoach moved away. “Adam?” asked Ben as he watched Adam following the stagecoach with his eyes as it headed out of town.

Sighing heavily, Adam looked down at the ground. “I’m alright, Pa.”

<b>Chapter Fifty-One</b>

Edwin looked over at Shiloh sitting across from him. She was staring out the window of the coach with tears streaming down her face. <i>Face it old man. She’s in love with him. She’ll be miserable in Europe without him.</i> He leaned forward. “Isabella, I have something to say that you need to hear. Look at me.” Wiping her cheeks with her hand, she turned. “When Adam spoke to Signora Biscaccianti, she said there’s no reason for you to go to Europe. She said you can be just as successful if you stay in America.”

Shiloh’s eyes grew wide. “Edwin…are you sure you didn’t misunderstand?”

“My dear, there is no mistaking what she said. Even so, it shouldn’t matter…you are where you are supposed to be.”

“Stop the stage.”

He opened the door of the coach and stood up so that the driver could hear him. “Driver, stop the coach. Someone is getting off.”

The stagecoach stopping in the middle of the street after it had left the stage office was not an occurrence seen every day in Virginia City. Everyone on the street stopped to watch. People in the shops along with the shop owners stepped out to the boardwalk to see.

Adam and Ben had already started in the opposite direction toward their buggy. When they heard someone yell, “Someone’s getting off the stage,” they both turned around.

Edwin had stepped out of the coach, and was helping Shiloh down, then directed the driver to throw her bags down. Adam took a step forward. Kissing Shiloh’s cheek, Edwin spoke to her, then turned and climbed back in the coach, signaling for the driver to proceed. As the stagecoach moved away from her, she turned toward Adam while she stood in the middle of her bags in the middle of the street, clutching her reticule in front of her.

Trotting down the street, Adam stopped when he reached her, waiting for her to speak.

“Why didn’t you tell me she said I didn’t need to go?” she asked, her cheeks still wet from her tears.

“You needed to do what you wanted. What I want doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter.”

Adam took her by her arms, looking into her eyes, then looked around him at all the people watching. He took a deep, frustrated breath. Her timid smile made him turn up the corner of his mouth in a half smile. When Ben pulled the buggy up beside them, Adam loaded her bags. He helped her into the back seat then climbed in beside her, holding her hand as Ben drove them home.

Chapter Fifty-Two

One question. One answer. One rebuttal…that meant everything. She had told him how he felt mattered to her. What followed was a restrained moment amid the stares of the town, two slight smiles, and a silent trip home…hand in hand.

Ben drove them to the Ponderosa, stopped the buggy in front of the house and quickly exited to the peace of his study, leaving the two alone sitting in the back seat.

Adam lifted her hand to his lips, kissing the tender skin between her knuckles as she continued to look forward, thinking about what she had done…what it meant. He turned slightly in the seat to watch her. “Are you sure?” he asked quietly. “Because you don’t look like you’re sure.”

She looked down and smiled. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“Shiloh…this is Europe. Do you realize this may be the only chance you have?”

Turning to him, she looked into his eyes, searching. “I thought you’d be happy about this.”

“I’m not unhappy. I just don’t want to be the reason you walked away from what could be a remarkable career.”

“Who said I’m walking away? Didn’t she tell you that I didn’t need to go to Europe…that I could be successful here?”

“Yes, she did. But….”

“No buts. I don’t want to go to Europe to sing opera. And if I go to see Europe one day, it will be with someone….” She lowered her eyes.

“So, you’re going to pursue a singing career?”

“I don’t know. I just know that Europe doesn’t have to be part of that decision.” She laced the fingers of the hand he was still holding with his, glancing into his eyes. “I also know…I’d like you to be part of that decision…I mean…if you want to.”

She had told him his feelings matter to her. She was telling him again. He raised his chin, inhaling, then slowly exhaled into a deeply satisfied gaze. “I want to.”

The End