{"id":10232,"date":"2011-12-05T07:13:11","date_gmt":"2011-12-05T12:13:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10232"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:25:08","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:25:08","slug":"ho-ho-ho","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10232","title":{"rendered":"Ho… Ho… Ho… (by bahj)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>: When Little Joe comes up with another one of his infamous “bright ideas”; The Cartwright brothers find themselves in yet another “jam” in this fun-filled Christmas story.<\/p>\n

Rated: K (4,410 words)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ho…Ho…Ho…<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, we can\u2019t stay here forever. This is ridiculous!\u201d Hoss spoke in irritation.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not forever,\u201d Little Joe answered, squirming uncomfortably. \u201cIt\u2019s just until I figure a way out of this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve been up here for hours, and you haven\u2019t come up with nothin\u2019 yet!\u201d Hoss growled. \u201cI\u2019m near starvin\u2019 to death!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u201d Little Joe said excitedly. \u201cI just remembered I\u2019ve got some peppermints in my coat pocket.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe reached inside his jacket and pulled out the small red and white striped bag. He put a few pieces of the candy into Hoss\u2019s right hand; since his left hand was still firmly wedged between his side and the wall of the chimney.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you want any?\u201d Joe asked as he munched on a piece.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Thank you,\u201d came Adam\u2019s muffled response. \u201cI don\u2019t think I could swallow upside down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, what time did you say Pa and Hop Sing would be back from town?\u201d Hoss asked, slurping noisily on his candy.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, please,\u201d groaned Adam. \u201cDo you have to be so noisy?\u201d
\nHoss rolled his eyes and waited for Joe\u2019s answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Hop Sing said supper was in the oven and would be ready by 6:30. Since he said for us to serve ourselves, I\u2019m assuming it won\u2019t be until sometime this evening.\u201d Little Joe replied with a grimace.<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s, \u201cDad burn it!\u201d coming through the top of the chimney could be heard clear across the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

5 hours earlier\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hoss had a cold, or rather was just getting over a cold. He wrapped himself a little tighter in his sweater and headed for the kitchen. He was finally able to breathe through his nose again. For days he had been so stuffed up that he couldn\u2019t even taste all the wonderful food Hop Sing had set before him. Now, that his airways were clear again he decided a tasty pre-lunch snack was in order. He walked into the kitchen and inhaled deeply of the various tantalizing aromas. Hop Sing was making slow roasted ribs and baked beans for supper and the amazing smells as they cooked all day long were enough to drive any of the Cartwright boys crazy, let alone Hoss. He walked into the kitchen and noticed with some disappointment that Hop Sing was there. He had hoped the feisty cook would be out, so that he could sneak a sample or two.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing turned from the basket, which he was putting together on the kitchen table, and glanced at Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Hoss need more tea for cold?\u201d he asked, turning his back to the hungry man.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s that?\u201d asked Hoss, shaking his head and tapping at the side of his head with the palm of his hand.<\/p>\n

His ears had closed up as a result of his cold and he\u2019d been having some difficulty with his hearing. Little Joe had been having an absolute ball at his expense over the last two days, before Ben had finally put a stop to it.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing spun around and spoke louder, \u201cI say, Mr. Hoss need more tea for cold?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m not cold,\u201d Hoss answered.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing shook his head and then guessing what the hard of hearing man wanted, handed him a couple of sandwiches from the basket he had been filling.<\/p>\n

\u201cGee, thanks Hop Sing,\u201d Hoss said with a smile. \u201cWhere you goin\u2019 with all that food?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss pointed at the large basket on the table stuffed with all manner of food and drink.<\/p>\n

\u201cCartwrights turn to feed orphans,\u201d Hop Sing replied. \u201cFather and I take basket and other crate in buggy, to them this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou say it\u2019s for the orphans?\u201d Hoss yelled.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing nodded his head and then quickly escorted his loud guest out of the kitchen.<\/p>\n

Hoss not being bothered in the least by his abrupt exit, sat at the large dining room table, where he quickly polished off the sandwiches. He was thinking about going back for another when his father walked in.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Hoss,\u201d Ben said coming around the corner. \u201cHop Sing and I are taking the orphans their supper for tonight. It\u2019s our turn for the month of December. Would you like to come along?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa, I don\u2019t know that song,\u201d Hoss said shaking his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss I said would you like to come along, to the orphanage, I mean?\u201d Ben tried again.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I\u2019ve seen the orphanage. You know that, Pa,\u201d Hoss answered looking at his father in puzzlement.<\/p>\n

Ben sighed in frustration, then nodded at his large son.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll see you tonight,\u201d he shouted.<\/p>\n

Hoss just smiled and gave him a thumbs up.<\/p>\n

Ben let out a groan and hurried out the door as Hoss called after him, \u201cHey, Pa. Where you goin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam, who had been sitting in his favorite high backed blue chair reading, rose, and laughing walked over to his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s so funny?\u201d asked Hoss, sensing he was at the butt of the joke.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing much,\u201d Adam answered still chuckling. \u201cJust your stopped up ears have been making things very amusing around here lately.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll have to speak up, Adam,\u201d Hoss stated loudly. \u201cMy ears are still stopped up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam just laughed again and patted his large brother on the back. He picked up the paper his father had left after breakfast and sat down at the table.<\/p>\n

The two sat in silence for a moment before Little Joe suddenly burst through the front door, yelling for Hoss. Spotting his older brother, he quickly ran to the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, guess what?\u201d he shouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d asked Hoss, reaching out to calm his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey chose you!\u201d Little Joe exclaimed, his eyes bright with excitement.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho?\u201d Hoss questioned.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe committee for the orphans Christmas party.\u201d Little Joe answered breathlessly. \u201cOut of all the fellows that put their name in, they chose you to be Santa!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s funny,\u201d Adam joined in. \u201cAfter what happened last year, I could have sworn Hoss said he would never play Santa again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss, who had been watching Adam intently as he spoke, turned to back to his younger brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d he yelled. \u201cI didn\u2019t put my name in to be Santa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. I did it for you.\u201d Joe answered, smiling nervously.<\/p>\n

Adam let out a low whistle and ducked back behind the paper.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Hoss began, moving menacingly toward his little brother. \u201cI distinctly remember telling you, after I ended up catching fire last year, that I didn\u2019t want to be Santa again. Ever!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Hoss,\u201d Little Joe said, shrinking under his brother\u2019s fierce countenance. \u201cIt\u2019s for the children.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMildred!\u201d roared Hoss. \u201cYou mean to tell me you signed me up again just to impress Mildred?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Hoss,\u201d Joe explained desperately. \u201cThe children! I said the children!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe, what are you talkin\u2019 about? Mildred doesn\u2019t have any children!\u201d Hoss was now totally confused.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, please try to pay attention\u2026\u201d Little Joe started loudly.
\nAdam threw the paper onto the table, interrupting Joe, and held up his hands to silence the two.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, I\u2019m heading out to the barn. You two go to your corners, and when you hear the door slam you may begin round two, he said then headed outside.<\/p>\n

Round two did indeed begin as soon as Adam had left, and after about ten minutes of one of the loudest Cartwright shouting matches in history, Hoss finally understood that Joe had signed him up to be Santa so that the two could attend the orphans Christmas party. Apparently there was going to be a whole passel of pretty, young girls there that night; helping to make Christmas special for the children, and Little Joe figured Hoss playing Santa would be a sure fire way to get plenty of attention.<\/p>\n

\u201cDad blame it, Joe. Why didn\u2019t you just sign yourself up?\u201d Hoss questioned in annoyance.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe?\u201d Joe squeaked. \u201cHave you seen me? I\u2019m not the right size to be Santa. Now come on, Hoss, be a good sport.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure Adam is taking care of Sport, but we\u2019ve got other chores to do, so come on.\u201d Hoss answered, then marched toward the door grabbing his coat.<\/p>\n

Little Joe just shook his head sadly before following his brother out to the barn.<\/p>\n

The three brothers, after several unsuccessful attempts at conversation, worked mostly in silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Hoss, hand me that rake,\u201d Adam said pointing behind his brother.<\/p>\n

He sighed and then started laughing when Hoss handed him a hay flake.
\nJoe joined in on the laughter which only grew louder as Hoss, after giving them an annoyed look, stomped over to the other end of the barn, muttering under his breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh Hoss\u201d Adam shouted, when he had stopped laughing. \u201cI just remembered something I tried when my ears got stopped up after swimming one time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019d you say?\u201d questioned Hoss, holding his hands up to his ears.<\/p>\n

\u201cTry plugging your nose and then blowing.\u201d Adam replied, and pinched his nose for emphasis.<\/p>\n

Hoss responded to Adam\u2019s gesture, \u201cDon\u2019t worry, it will smell better in here once we get things cleaned up,\u201d he reassured his brother.<\/p>\n

Little Joe was now rolling on the ground, his high pitched cackling circulating throughout the barn.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Adam said in frustration, stepping over Joe\u2019s wriggling body to get closer to Hoss. \u201cLike this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam motioned for Hoss to copy him and proceeded to again pinch his nose. He then puffed out his cheeks to illustrate to Hoss to blow. Hoss looked mildly confused, but decided to humor his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cOuch!\u201d he cried, after he had blown, then covered his ears. \u201cThat hurt!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I would have told you it hurts, but you couldn\u2019t hear me,\u201d Adam mumbled sarcastically.<\/p>\n

Hoss suddenly looked up in amazement, \u201cWhat did you say?\u201d he questioned.<\/p>\n

Adam rolled his eyes and started to shout, \u201cI said, I would have told you it hurt, but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, don\u2019t shout,\u201d Hoss interrupted. \u201cJust talk normal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d Adam responded, softening his voice. \u201cI said, I would have told you it hurt, but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHot diggity!\u201d Hoss whooped. \u201cThat did it! I can hear! Gee, thanks, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss picked up Adam in a big bear hug and squeezed him tightly before dropping him and then running excitedly to Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cGlad I could help,\u201d Adam replied sarcastically, gingerly rubbing his crushed ribs.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Joe,\u201d babbled Hoss. \u201cAin\u2019t that somethin\u2019? I can hear again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat, Hoss, just great,\u201d Little Joe replied slapping his brother on the back. \u201cAnd just in time to, ’cause we\u2019ve got some plans to talk over.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe\u2019s announcement of \u201cplans\u201d was enough to instantly sober Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat plans you talkin\u2019 about, Joe?\u201d he questioned hesitantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlans for you being Santa,\u201d Joe replied with a wide grin. \u201cSee we gotta come up with something really great to impress all those young women. Something no one else has done before; something really unusual.”<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd on that note,\u201d Adam said, coming over and laying a hand on each of his brother\u2019s shoulders, \u201cI think I will leave you two delinquents to your scheming and convene inside to meditate on the wisdom of aloof disinterest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHeh, what\u2019d he mean by that?\u201d Hoss asked as Adam turned and sauntered slowly from the barn.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, don\u2019t mind him,\u201d answered Joe, shooting an irritated glance at his brother\u2019s departing back. \u201cHe\u2019s just jealous \u2018cause we\u2019re the ones that are gonna be courtin\u2019 all those pretty girls.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d Hoss replied. \u201cNow, about all these pretty gals\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly,\u201d Joe interrupted. \u201cThey\u2019re all that matters\u2026\u201d Seeing the horrified look on Hoss\u2019s face, he quickly amended. \u201cAnd the orphans, of course. But see I\u2019ve got a plan that will not only make the girl\u2019s go wild, but the kids will be knocked right out of their socks too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss could feel himself being dragged once again under the spell of his youngest brother\u2019s silver tongue, and before he knew it he had agreed to Little Joe\u2019s plans.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, what do you say, we go practice?\u201d Little Joe suggested when he had finished explaining everything to Hoss in detail.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow?\u201d gulped Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d Little Joe answered with enthusiasm. \u201cOur chimney is as good a place as any to practice. You ought to know that, we\u2019ve both been up there plenty of times.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa,\u201d Hoss tried to reason with Joe. \u201cAnd I remember what happened every time Pa caught us up there too! \u2018Sides it\u2019s been years since we\u2019ve climbed up there. How do you know I\u2019ll still fit?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s exactly why you should practice,\u201d Joe stated emphatically. \u201cNow, you think of a way to get Adam out of the house and I\u2019ll put out the fire.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe?\u201d Hoss squeaked. \u201cI\u2019m no good at that sort of thing, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked as if he might argue for a minute but then changed his mind,<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you\u2019re right. You\u2019d just get him all suspicious. Okay, I\u2019ll get Adam out of the house and you put the fire out. Oh, and maybe you should put on some old clothes. It might be kind of dirty up there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was rapidly beginning to regret having woken up that morning, but he knew there would be no hope of getting Joe to change his mind. He trudged slowly toward the house, wondering if maybe he could somehow secretly tip Adam off before Joe got to him. Adam was great at squelching Joe\u2019s schemes.<\/p>\n

His hopes were dashed however, when Little Joe rushed up beside him,<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, I\u2019m all set. I\u2019ll go in the front, and you go through the kitchen door.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t come in until I\u2019ve got Adam out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss released a heavy sigh and then dutifully did as his youngest brother suggested.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll set for what?\u201d he wondered.<\/p>\n

Hoss was surprised when after only a few minutes he heard someone running across the floor in the other room and then the front door slam.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, Hoss, he\u2019s gone,\u201d Little Joe yelled. \u201cYou can come out now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019d you get him out of here so quick?\u201d Hoss questioned, coming in from the kitchen.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just told him Sport got out of his stall again.\u201d Joe answered with a mischievous grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that\u2019s only gonna work until he goes out there and sees Sport,\u201d Hoss answered impatiently.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Sport\u2019s not out there. I sort of opened the door to his stall.\u201d Joe replied innocently.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, Adam\u2019s gonna nail your hide to the wall!\u201d Hoss said reprovingly. \u201cThe last time Sport got out; it took him nearly two hours to get him back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I can\u2019t help it if his horse isn\u2019t as obedient as the rest of ours,\u201d Joe defended himself. \u201cNow hurry up and go change. Adam might get lucky this time and we don\u2019t want him getting back here before we\u2019re through.<\/p>\n

Hoss made his way up to his room and looked around for some old clothes. He knew that whatever he wore was going to end up getting black and he didn\u2019t want to risk upsetting Hop Sing, so he decided to just wear his long underwear. He could wash those out himself easily enough, and if they didn\u2019t come fully clean, No one would ever see them to notice.<\/p>\n

Coming down the stairs he heard the fire hiss and sizzle, as Little Joe poured the last of the water from a bucket over the flaming logs. Hoss shivered when he felt the draft coming in through the large chimney; already the large open room was cooling considerably.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, we best hurry up, or you\u2019re gonna be the one to explain to Pa why it\u2019s colder than the blazes in here.\u201d Hoss said rubbing his arms with his hands.
\nLittle Joe checked over Hoss\u2019s apparel, then smiled approvingly, \u201cGood idea, Hoss,\u201d he said. \u201cThose red long johns will really get you into the spirit of things.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not exactly what I had in mind,\u201d Hoss mumbled as he joined his little brother at the fireplace.<\/p>\n

The two boys stooped and looked up the long dark tunnel.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t know what we ever thought was so great about that place when we were kids,\u201d Hoss grumbled.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, come on, Hoss,\u201d Little Joe answered good naturedly. \u201cWhere\u2019s your sense of adventure?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d Hoss answered. \u201cAny sense of adventure I ever had got knocked clean out of me the day you were born.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHa, ha, ha,\u201d Little Joe stated mirthlessly.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go on to the back of the house,\u201d he told Hoss. \u201cThe ladder should still be against the side of the house from when we replaced those shingles the other day.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two brothers made their way to the back of the house and nimbly climbed up the ladder. Hoss was feeling a bit self-conscious about being out in just his underwear, and looked around nervously.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I\u2019ve been thinkin\u2019,\u201d said Hoss, \u201cMaybe we could just make a good impression on everybody by dressing up one of the horses like a reindeer or somethin\u2019. This goin\u2019 down the chimney seems plumb dangerous to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss,\u201d Little Joe sighed in exasperation. \u201cThis is no time for thinking. Now is the time for action.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe continued to encourage Hoss as he slowly guided him over to the chimney. Hoss looked down the hole and gulped.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Joe,\u201d he tried desperately. \u201cI thought you were afraid of heights!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah,\u201d Joe responded easily. \u201cPa helped me get over that last summer. Don\u2019t you remember when I climbed up that big rock and I had to save Pa\u2019s life?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was now standing up on top of the chimney while Little Joe fastened a rope securely around his waist.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, yeah,\u201d he grimaced, trying not to look down. \u201cWell, Joe, I hate to tell you this, but I think I\u2019m afraid of heights.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, then Hoss,\u201d Joe replied seriously. \u201cThat\u2019s all the more reason you should do this. I feel it\u2019s my duty as your brother to help you overcome your fears.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss gave Joe a pathetic look, \u201cThat\u2019s real nice of you, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThink nothing of it,\u201d Joe responded and gave him a wink.<\/p>\n

Joe finished with the rope and then joined his brother on top of the chimney. Their two faces were a study in contrast. Hoss held an expression of sheer terror; while Little Joe\u2019s was one of maniacal delight.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, Hoss, when I say three you jump.\u201d Little Joe explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cWha\u2026\u201d Hoss managed to gasp. \u201cJoe you sure\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, just don\u2019t think about it.\u201d Joe replied reassuringly. \u201cNow, ready?\u201d
\nHoss nodded his head vigorously.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne,\u201d Hoss squeaked pathetically as he squeezed his eyes shut tight.<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo,\u201d His whimpering began to grow louder.<\/p>\n

\u201cThree!\u201d<\/p>\n

On three, several things seemed to happen at once. First, Hoss in his fright, grabbed Little Joe by the front of his jacket. Second, Little Joe at this unexpected move, jumped suddenly, and third both boys\u2019 screams could be heard for miles, as they fell feet first into the gaping cavernous hole.<\/p>\n

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d Hoss\u2019s shaky voice came through in the darkness. \u201cAre we dead?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope,\u201d Joe squeaked breathlessly. \u201cI\u2019m way too uncomfortable to be in Heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere are we?\u201d Hoss questioned pensively.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean where are we?\u201d Joe repeated in exasperation. \u201cWe\u2019re stuck in the chimney! Where do you think we are?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, excuse me all to pieces,\u201d Hoss replied, his own temper starting to rise. \u201cI seem to remember you telling me not to think!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, Hoss,\u201d Little Joe yelled. \u201cJust calm down will ya? Maybe we can climb back up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not gonna work, Joe,\u201d Hoss responded. \u201cOne of my arms is stuck!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that\u2019s just great!\u201d exclaimed Joe. \u201cAll right, I\u2019ll see if I can climb out.\u201d
\nJoe began to struggle and Hoss quickly closed his eyes as a shower of soot came cascading down around them.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, will you just sit still,\u201d he cried in desperation. \u201cI can\u2019t breathe with all this soot flyin\u2019 everywhere!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s no use anyway,\u201d panted Little Joe. \u201cI\u2019m stuck solid!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss sighed, \u201cOkay, man with all the plans. What do you suggest we do now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Hoss,\u201d Little Joe shot back angrily. \u201cHow should I know? I\u2019ve never been stuck in a chimney before! I would think you could show a little sensitivity about the kind of situation we\u2019re in!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, okay,\u201d Hoss responded soothingly to his brother\u2019s panicked voice. \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Just at that moment the two heard sounds from below them as someone entered the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph! I want to talk to you,\u201d came Adam\u2019s hostile voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Adam,\u201d Little Joe hissed.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood. Then he can get us out of here,\u201d Hoss replied mimicking Joe\u2019s quieted voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Hoss, we can\u2019t tell him we\u2019re up here,\u201d Little Joe continued to whisper.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll be mad at me because of Sport and he\u2019ll probably tell Pa about us being up here. You know how he is; we\u2019ll never hear the end of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, Hoss,\u201d they heard Adam shouting again.<\/p>\n

Hoss was about to argue with Joe when the sounds they heard next caused them to both go into a state of panic.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s building a fire!\u201d Joe squeaked.<\/p>\n

In unison the two cried out, \u201cADAM!\u201d<\/p>\n

They heard nothing for a moment or two and then an exaggerated, \u201coh, brother!\u201d wafted up to them. Hoss sighed in relief while Little Joe cringed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not even going to ask,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

They heard him step up onto the fireplace and then his voice echoed as he called up to them, \u201cWell, I\u2019m not gonna be able to reach you from down here. I\u2019ll try going up on the roof.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood idea, Adam,\u201d Hoss responded. \u201cThere\u2019s already a rope up there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course there is,\u201d they could hear Adam say as his voice faded away.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe shouldn\u2019t have told him we were up here,\u201d Little Joe stated in a huff.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you rather we\u2019d been barbequed?\u201d Hoss questioned sarcastically.<\/p>\n

In a few moments Adam was peering down at them.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, grab hold of the rope and I\u2019m going to start pulling,\u201d came Adam\u2019s muffled voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did he say?\u201d asked Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said, pull!\u201d Joe shouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d Hoss replied and then gave a mighty tug.<\/p>\n

Seconds later both boys yelped in pain as Adam came crashing down on top of them.<\/p>\n

After the soot had once again settled and they were no longer coughing, Adam questioned from his awkward position, \u201cHoss, why did you do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou did say to pull, didn\u2019t you,\u201d Hoss replied calmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I didn\u2019t say to pull!\u201d Adam replied his voice growing louder.
\n\u201cI heard you say, pull,\u201d Joe piped in.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy would I have said to pull?\u201d Adam questioned heatedly. \u201cDo you think I wanted to end up in here, upside down?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, will you stop shouting!\u201d Hoss said angrily. \u201cThe echo in here is hurting my ears.\u201d<\/p>\n

The three started coughing again as Adam, placing his hands against the sides of the chimney, tried to scoot his way backwards. After three failed attempts he finally settled down with a loud groan.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, I\u2019m getting a cramp in my side,\u201d whined Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, well at least you don\u2019t have Adam breathing down your neck,\u201d he answered unsympathetically.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, excuse me,\u201d came Adam\u2019s irritated response.<\/p>\n

Six hours later\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

The three miserable brothers gasped in unison when they suddenly slipped downward a few inches, then groaned when they once again became firmly wedged.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was that?\u201d Little Joe questioned.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s from me losing weight, we\u2019ve been stuck up here such a doggone long time,\u201d answered Hoss abruptly.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, you couldn\u2019t possibly have lost weight in just a few hours,\u201d Adam said in exasperation.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, no? Well, tell that to my stomach.\u201d Hoss said gruffly.<\/p>\n

\u201cShhh! What was that?\u201d Little Joe questioned suddenly.<\/p>\n

The three boys strained to hear and were delighted when they heard the sounds of someone entering the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cBoys?\u201d Ben yelled into the now frigidly cold room.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d They all shouted at once.<\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss began frantically kicking their legs sending a mountain of black powdery soot into the room below them.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat in the blue blazes?\u201d They could hear their father roaring.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Pa, we can explain,\u201d Hoss yelled out pathetically. \u201cCan\u2019t we,\u201d he said looking to Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa, Pa,\u201d Joe responded with a hysterical chuckle. \u201cWe sure can. See it all started\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind about that,\u201d came Ben\u2019s booming voice. \u201cThere\u2019s time enough for you two nitwits to explain things later. Where\u2019s Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, Pa,\u201d Adam\u2019s garbled answer made its way through his two firmly wedged brothers\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Ben said incredulously.<\/p>\n

Ben groaned and headed for the front door, \u201cnow I\u2019ve seen everything,\u201d they could hear him muttering.<\/p>\n

The boys waited for their father to make his way up the ladder. They heard his ranting long before he reached the chimney, \u201cOf all the dad blamed, stump brained, idiotic\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed deeply as Little Joe and Hoss cringed.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Adam,\u201d Ben yelled. \u201cI\u2019m gonna put a rope around your leg and pull you out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight,\u201d Adam yelled his response.<\/p>\n

A moment later Hoss felt Adam\u2019s weight coming off of him as he was pulled up.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll see you two on the other side,\u201d he said with in a menacing tone as he ascended higher.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Hoss gulped in response.<\/p>\n

Adam was near the top when suddenly they heard their father give a loud sneeze and then Adam was once again bearing down on them. This time the force was enough to knock his brothers loose and the three came crashing down onto the logs in the fireplace.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam! Hoss! Joe! Are you all right?\u201d Ben yelled in panic.<\/p>\n

Coughs and groans were the only responses that could be heard.<\/p>\n

In record time Ben was off the roof and racing through the front door.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you boys alright?\u201d He questioned in concern, rushing over to them.<\/p>\n

After thoroughly checking each other over for injuries they found that none of them had acquired anything more serious than a few scrapes, bruises, and some tingling limbs.<\/p>\n

They looked up timidly as their father towered over them, his arms crossed intimidatingly across his broad chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, what do you have to say for yourselves?\u201d He questioned, his voice low and menacing.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe looked at each other and then looked to Adam. He rolled his eyes and coughed as soot fell from his hair then looked to his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cHo, ho, ho,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

~The End<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: When Little Joe comes up with another one of his infamous “bright ideas”; The Cartwright brothers find themselves in yet another “jam” in this fun-filled Christmas story.<\/p>\n

Rated: K (4,410 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":5835,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[14,17,16],"class_list":["post-10232","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-4-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Christmas-Traditions.jpg?fit=639%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10232","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/16"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10232"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10232\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5835"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10232"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10232"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10232"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}