{"id":10368,"date":"2013-07-26T17:56:51","date_gmt":"2013-07-26T21:56:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10368"},"modified":"2025-02-18T19:18:31","modified_gmt":"2025-02-19T00:18:31","slug":"operation-barn-dance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10368","title":{"rendered":"Operation Barn Dance (by bahj)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>: Some women are worth a lot of trouble . . . but not all of them . . . (Just a short “cheesy” story :0)<\/p>\n

Rated<\/strong>: Family Friendly \/ Word count<\/strong>: 2317<\/p>\n

Written for a challenge 2013.
\nWords given:
\nBarn Dance
\nFire
\nHorseshoe
\nCheese
\nOperation<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Operation Barn Dance<\/strong><\/p>\n

There are, oh about a hundred ways to start a fire, I suppose. Grease fire, spark from a camp fire, droppin\u2019 a match, but I have to tell ya, I never in a million years worried about startin\u2019 a fire with nothing more\u2019n a baked potato. Dadburn that was one hot potato, though.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m guessin\u2019 you probably want to hear the story from the beginning, and I aim to get there, but I reckon it\u2019ll be easier to understand if I start with the gal, and she don\u2019t come in till the middle. She was real pretty; long brown hair, big hazel eyes, soft, pink cheeks, and the low down, dirtiest, no good . . . Well, you get the idea. I first saw her standin\u2019 near the eatin\u2019 tables, and of all the good things there were to choose from, she was fillin\u2019 her plate with cheese. I shoulda known right then to stay away from her, but then she looked up and caught me starin\u2019, and the smile she gave me would\u2019ve knocked my hat plumb off my head, iffin\u2019 I\u2019d had it on. I glanced around real quick to make sure neither of my brother\u2019s had spotted her. I was in luck, Little Joe wasn\u2019t nowhere in sight and Adam was pinned against the wall across the room gettin\u2019 his ear talked off by one of Virginia City\u2019s council members. I pursed my lips, sucked in my stomach, and walked real casual-like over to the tables.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, howdy, ma\u2019am,\u201d I said, reaching out for a plate of my own. \u201cIf you don\u2019t mind my sayin\u2019 so, this food don\u2019t look half as good as it could if you weren\u2019t standin\u2019 next to it . . . lookin\u2019 pretty that is.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam told me later that any girl fallin\u2019 for a line like that oughta been a dead giveaway. I told him to keep his comments to himself or the only dead being givin\u2019 away would be his sorry hide.<\/p>\n

She seemed surprised for a second, and I stood there holdin\u2019 my breath, wishing I could put words together the way my older brother does, but then she laughed, and the sound of it was as pretty as the birds singing in the mornin\u2019, and suddenly I weren\u2019t nervous no more.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, thank you,\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019ll take that as a compliment, Mr. uh . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, ma\u2019am . . . I mean Cartwright . . . I mean . . . I\u2019m Hoss Cartwright ma\u2019am, pleased to meet ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Mr. Cart . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Hoss. I\u2019d be pleased if you would call me Nicole.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was my turn to smile. The town meetin\u2019 started shortly after that, and she let me escort her to a seat next to mine; never did hear a word of the meetin\u2019.<\/p>\n

It was three weeks later before I got up enough nerve to ask her to the barn dance over at Mr. Watkins farm. I chose that dance in particular because I knew Adam wasn\u2019t goin\u2019; it\u2019s hard enough for a feller to find a girl without havin\u2019 to fight off two good lookin\u2019 brothers. My pa was stayin\u2019 home too; him and Adam were takin\u2019 a stand. Seems everyone knew old man Watkins had planned the whole thing just to try n\u2019 swing votes for some new cattle regulation in his favor. It just happened that this regulation was opposite the one my older brother was goin\u2019 for. Not that any of that bothered me and Little Joe none. I mean, we are on Adam\u2019s side and all, but a dance is a dance. Adam threw a fit about us goin\u2019 at first, but then Little Joe got one of his quick thinkin\u2019 spells.<\/p>\n

\u201cGee, Adam,\u201d he\u2019d said, \u201cwe\u2019re only goin\u2019 because we wanted to get an idea for how the others are going to vote.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d I was quick to add in.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t think Adam was gonna buy it, but even he falls for Little Joe\u2019s fast talkin\u2019 once in a while, and my baby brother was really layin\u2019 it on thick that day.<\/p>\n

Well, by the end of the week, we had both Adam and Pa convinced that sendin\u2019 us to the dance as scouts was in the Ponderosa\u2019s best interest. Of course, Little Joe started takin\u2019 the whole spy thing a little too seriously. I was willing to overlook him callin\u2019 it Operation Barn dance, but when he told me the signal word\u2014in case there was any trouble\u2014was horseshoe, I decided to remind him that we were really only goin\u2019 to have a good time.<\/p>\n

The night of the dance finally came and by some miracle I managed to make it out the front door lookin\u2019 pretty spiffy, if I do say so myself. Just a few hours before, I hadn\u2019t been sure if my youngest brother and I were gonna make it out of the house without sportin\u2019 a pair of black eyes. Seemed Little Joe and I\u2019d been fightin\u2019 over just about everything all day long\u2014which one of use was gonna put the horses away, which one of us got the first bath, which one of us was gonna borrow Adam\u2019s new cologne \u2018stead of Pa\u2019s usual. But by the time we got the buggy hitched up and on the road, I was too nervous and Little Joe too excited for either of us to hold a grudge. We swung by and picked up Joe\u2019s gal first, then stopped in front of the hotel to get Nicole. Everything started off just as smooth as peach fuzz. When we arrived at the dance, I helped her in and out of the buggy, we went inside, made a little small talk, had some punch and even danced to a few tunes.<\/p>\n

After our fourth turn around the dance floor, Nicole mentioned that she was hungry, so I escorted her to the food tables. I tried not to make a face when she got choosy over the cheese, but when she turned and asked if I wanted some, her plate got a little too close to my nose and I felt my stomach turn.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, that\u2019s the stilton,\u201d she said, pullin\u2019 her plate away and pointin\u2019 out a cheese that looked like it\u2019d been sittin\u2019 on the kitchen counter for about three years. \u201cThe odor is a little strong but it melts in your mouth like butter.\u201d<\/p>\n

I thought about tellin\u2019 her I\u2019d rather eat the butter, but my Pa\u2019d taught me better manners than that, n\u2019 besides, I was still feelin\u2019 too weak to talk. Having suddenly lost my appetite, I decided to just grab a couple two three slices of apple pie and then I followed her over to the chairs. We\u2019d nearly finished eating when I caught her glancing at a tall man across the room. It was a feller I\u2019d never seen before, and he had the kind of looks I\u2019d been glad Adam stayed at home for. I got fidgety when she kept lookin\u2019 and when she smiled at him, I frowned. The next thing I knew, the stranger had made his way over to us.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood evening,\u201d he said in some kind of accent that made him sound like he was readin\u2019 poetry \u2018stead of just sayin\u2019 howdy.<\/p>\n

Nicole looked at me, but she must have guessed by the way I slowly folded my arms across my chest that I wasn\u2019t plannin\u2019 on playin\u2019 nice.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh, hello, Mr. uh . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBeaufort,\u201d he said, and I nearly laughed out loud.<\/p>\n

\u201cBeaufort Munster, I\u2019ve arrived here only recently. I have a great interest in all the great West has to offer.\u201d He took Nicole\u2019s hand and kissed it before he continued. \u201cI can see that I\u2019ve not made the journey in vain.\u201d<\/p>\n

I figured it was about time for me to cut in. \u201cYes, well Mr. Buffalo-\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBeaufort,\u201d he corrected.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, well, I promised this little gal we\u2019d get in a lotta dancin\u2019 this evening, so if you\u2019ll just excuse us.\u201d<\/p>\n

The way Beaufort narrowed his eyes made me smile, but the fact that I was nearly dragging Nicole back to the dance floor let me know that I\u2019d already lost her to Mr. Fancy Pants. She waited through two more whole dances before she asked me to get her some punch. I shuffled cross the room to the punch table and took my time pourin\u2019 a glass. Sure enough, by the time I turned around she was dancin\u2019 with Beaufort. I sighed and moseyed on over to some benches along the side of the room. I hadn\u2019t been there long when Little Joe caught sight of me sittin\u2019 by myself. I watched him excuse himself and then scooted over so he could sit beside me?<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d he asked, tossing his head in Nicole\u2019s direction.<\/p>\n

He looked madder than I felt when I\u2019d finished explainin\u2019. He glanced around the room and then he spotted the two getting\u2019 some dessert. Before I could stop him, Joe was halfway across the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow look here, Mr. Monster-\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMunster,\u201d Beaufort corrected, just as I came up behind Little Joe. \u201cI don\u2019t know what you think . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

I tuned my little brother out for a second when I noticed a feller about as big as a grizzly bear comin\u2019 toward us from the other side of the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d I interrupted, pulling on his arm.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a second, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Joe, I think we should just-\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe batted my hand away, and by that time the giant was almost upon us. I racked my brain tryin\u2019 to remember the call word Little Joe had made up. Boot . . . snowshoe . . . by the time I remembered it was horseshoe, it was too late.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs there a problem, Beau,\u201d the large man asked, coming up beside Beaufort and Nicole.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t think so,\u201d he answered as he eyed Little Joe.<\/p>\n

I could see the courage melt right out of Little Joe\u2019s face, and I rolled my eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cGentlemen,\u201d Beaufort said. \u201cThis is my brother, Asiago. We\u2019ve both just arrived in Virginia City today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019ve been all over the world, Hoss,\u201d Nicole said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, we\u2019ve just come here from Switzerland,\u201d Beaufort said.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you\u2019re Swiss,\u201d Little Joe asked, with just a touch of panic in his voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m Beaufort and this is Asiago.\u201d Beaufort turned to me then. \u201cIt was most kind of you to allow me to take over the entertainment of this delightful lady.\u201d<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t believe what he was sayin\u2019, but when I turned to Nicole, she blushed. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Hoss, but I told Mr. Munster I would give him the last few dances, and since we\u2019re both staying at the hotel, he\u2019s offered to escort me back. You don\u2019t mind do you?\u201d<\/p>\n

I felt Little Joe tense beside me and realized his courage had come back in full force. I figured it would be best to just cut my losses, so I grabbed Little Joe\u2019s arm, gave a curt nod, and mumbled a good evening before stalking off.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Little Joe,\u201d I said once we were a safe enough distance away, \u201cmaybe we should just go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Hoss, no.\u201d I looked behind Little Joe in surprise. I\u2019d nearly forgotten about his gal. \u201cMy pa said I don\u2019t have to be home for hours yet, and I haven\u2019t had a night out in just ages,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

She pouted real pretty for a few seconds before Little Joe and I melted.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, do you mind if . . .\u201d Joe asked with a helpless shrug.<\/p>\n

I waved them both to go dance and was about to sit down again when my stomach decided to remind me that I hadn\u2019t had much to eat that night. I stuck my hands in my pockets and made my way back to the food tables. Nicole was dancin\u2019 again. I kept hearin\u2019 her giggle as I filled my plate and every time, I was tempted to throw a slice of cheese at her. I wasn\u2019t really going to throw anything, honestly, but I guess I wasn\u2019t payin\u2019 attention when one of the men brought in a full plate of hot potatoes. I grabbed one of them steaming suckers at the same time Nicole gave a high pitched laugh and the next thing I knew, I gave a yowl and the potato was flyin\u2019 across the room. Of course, it hit a lamp and the rest is pretty much history. The lamp fell, the flames spread, and before the night was out, Mr. Watkins barn looked like the inside of a BBQ pit the day after a party.<\/p>\n

Adam did the figurin\u2019 for me and said I could have the barn paid off in about two years as long as I didn\u2019t spend any money. \u2018Course I\u2019m hopin\u2019 he\u2019ll just help me build Mr. Watkins a new one instead. After all, because of the fire everyone forgot all about votin\u2019 for that new cattle regulation.<\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: Some women are worth a lot of trouble . . . but not all of them . . . (Just a short “cheesy” story :0)<\/p>\n

Rated: Family Friendly \/ Word count: 2317<\/p>\n

Written for a challenge 2013.
\nWords given:
\nBarn Dance
\nFire
\nHorseshoe
\nCheese
\nOperation<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":6057,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,4],"tags":[17,16],"class_list":["post-10368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-humor","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-4-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1079,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Swedish-Grizzly.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":14370,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14370","url_meta":{"origin":10368,"position":0},"title":"Houston, We Have a Problem on the Ponderosa (by Robin)","author":"profrobinw","date":"January 1, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0There's a problem, and only Houston can help the Cartwrights. 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