{"id":10377,"date":"2011-10-18T16:43:22","date_gmt":"2011-10-18T20:43:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10377"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:25:10","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:25:10","slug":"revengemay-the-best-man-win","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10377","title":{"rendered":"Revenge\u2026May the Best Man Win (by bahj)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>: One wants to teach a lesson, one wants revenge, one just wants some peace quiet. With the three high spirited Cartwright boys home alone for the weekend anything can happen. Which one will come out on top?<\/p>\n

Rated: Family Friendly \/ Word count: 10,300<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Revenge…May the Best Man Win<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, please don\u2019t tell pa,\u201d Little Joe Cartwright vainly pleaded with his infuriated eldest brother, \u201cI promise I won\u2019t do it again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe could see by Adam\u2019s stormy expression that he wasn\u2019t going to get out of trouble this unscathed this time.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d Adam shouted as he entered the house.<\/p>\n

Joe desperately tried to escape from the vice like grip his brother had on the back of his neck, and yelped as Adam shifted his grasp from his neck to his arm, thrusting him in the direction of his father\u2019s desk.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, what\u2019s going on here?\u201d Ben questioned.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tell you what\u2019s going on!\u201d Adam exclaimed his voice low and menacing, \u201cyour youngest son here just caused a stampede.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam unconsciously shook Joe with each syllable.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, calm down,\u201d said Ben as he reached out to release Joe from Adam\u2019s tight grip, \u201cwhat do you mean he caused a stampede?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam drew in several calming breaths before answering. \u201cThe men and I just finished bringing those new cattle down from the mountains, when Joe here, whom I specifically asked to stay away from the south pasture, decided it would be a good time to practice some of his roping.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked anxiously up at his father\u2019s face and could tell from his dark expression that his fate was sealed. He gulped loudly and tried his best to look invisible.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben said placing his hands on his hips, \u201cI want an explanation,\u201d then leaning in a little closer he added, \u201cthe truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe swallowed again. \u201cWow, he looks big<\/em>,\u201d he thought.<\/p>\n

Even at fourteen Joe was still quite a bit smaller than the other members of his family, and it was at times like this that he found their size the most intimidating.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Pa,\u201d he began, his voice trembling slightly, \u201cMiss Jones let us out of class a little early today. The boys wanted me to go fishing with them, but I remembered, how you said to come right home after school.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you remembered that did you?\u201d Ben interrupted, \u201chow is it then that you ended up in the south pasture instead of home?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Pa,\u201d Joe stammered, \u201cthe Ponderosa is my home and I was on the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

This statement earned him a fiery glare from his father and a, \u201cHa!\u201d from his brother Adam. Figuring he better change his line of reasoning he started again.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Pa, you always say how we should use our time wisely and that practice makes perfect so-\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStop right there Joseph!\u201d His father interrupted again, once more calling him Joseph, which was never a good sign, \u201cyou are not going to use my own words against me. You know perfectly well that by coming straight home I meant to the house, and that I wouldn\u2019t have approved of you practicing your roping on those cattle without an adult present. I believe it wasn\u2019t all that long ago that I caught you and Mitch out trying to round up a herd of wild horses. I thought I made it pretty clear then about you practicing certain skills without supervision.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Ben talked he slowly moved his hands to his waist, hooking his thumbs into his belt. Joe\u2019s shoulders drooped and he was sure he was going to end up out in the barn any minute. What his father said next almost made him wish he could just go out to the barn, at least then the punishment would be over with.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou, young man,\u201d his father said poking him in the chest with his finger for emphasis, \u201chave cost your brother a great deal of time, and I think it only fair that as punishment you lose some of you own time as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe gave his father a puzzled expression.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou,\u201d his father continued, \u201cwill be spending the weekend in your room. The entire weekend. Hop Sing will bring you your meals up there. I don\u2019t want you leaving your room even for chores, and while you\u2019re up there I want you to do some serious thinking about the importance of obedience!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben ended his lecture by pointing firmly towards the stairs.<\/p>\n

Joe wanted to protest, he hated being cooped up and away from his family. He would much rather take a whipping any day, but he figured his father new that, and that was why he had decided on this torturous form of punishment.<\/p>\n

Joe forced himself to walk calmly up the stairs and then, when he was out of sight, stomped into his room, slamming his books on his desk. He kicked at a nearby chair causing it to noisily scrape across the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, do I have to come up there?\u201d Pa\u2019s voice bellowed from the floor below.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Pa, just ran into a chair,\u201d he answered cautiously from his open door.<\/p>\n

Turning back to his room he quietly shut the door and sat on the edge of his bed. He decided it would be in his best interest to keep any further protests down to a dull roar. Hearing the front door slam a few minutes later, he figured Adam had left the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cDumb Adam,\u201d he thought angrily, \u201che\u2019s such a big snitch. I was doin\u2019 just fine with those cows until they stampeded. How was I supposed to know the men had just finished rounding them up into that new pasture?\u201d<\/p>\n

He huffed loudly as he thought of Adam roughly dragging him into the house by the back of his neck to face Pa, and now he was going to have to spend the whole weekend up here in his room.<\/p>\n

\u201cMitch sure is gonna be mad at me when I don\u2019t show up tomorrow; we\u2019ve been planning our fishin\u2019 trip for weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

Forgetting Pa\u2019s earlier remonstration he yanked off his left boot and threw it across the room. It landed with a loud bang against the far wall, and managed to knock the small mirror hanging there onto the floor with a crash. Wincing, he quickly ran and opened the door to see if he could hear his Pa coming. After what seemed an eternity of silence he finally felt it safe to let out the breath he\u2019d been holding.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa must have gone out,\u201d he thought relieved.<\/p>\n

As he knelt on the floor and began carefully picking up the shards of glass, his temper once more began to simmer.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam thinks he\u2019s so smart . . . well, I\u2019ll show him,\u201d he thought.<\/p>\n

A sly smile came to his lips as he began to formulate a plan.<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

Out in the barn a similar scenario was taking place.<\/p>\n

\u201cDang Little Joe,\u201d Adam said in exasperation, kicking a bucket of feed that was sitting on a low stool. As the feed scattered all over the clean barn floor he sighed, realizing all he had accomplished was giving himself yet another task to do. Roughly grabbing a rake he started cleaning up the mess with a vengeance.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne thing,\u201d he muttered under his breath, \u201cone thing, that\u2019s all I asked him to do this weekend. Just stay away from the south pasture, Joe, that\u2019s all I asked\u2026Aaargghh!!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam threw the rake to the ground as he roared.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, at least I know your brother comes by his temper honestly,\u201d Ben stated walking into the barn.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry Pa,\u201d came Adam\u2019s gruff response, \u201cbut you know I\u2019ve spent the last three days out there rounding up those cattle. I finally get them all settled and no more than thirty minutes later, Little Joe has them scattered all over the Ponderosa again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam folded his arms and turned to face away from his father; he was seething.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, son, calm down,\u201d Ben soothed, \u201cI\u2019ve sent Charlie into town to hire us a few extra hands for the weekend and they\u2019ll see to getting the cattle rounded up again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019m perfectly capable of getting the cattle back into that pasture. I plan to get an early start first thing tomorrow morning,\u201d Adam replied, seeming slightly put out.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I\u2019m not questioning your abilities,\u201d Ben quickly responded, \u201cI have something else I need you to do this weekend.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, what is that, Pa?\u201d Adam asked, now curious.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing,\u201d was his father\u2019s answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing,\u201d Adam repeated. \u201cWhat do you mean nothing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben placed a hand on his son\u2019s shoulder before continuing.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, son, you\u2019ve been working hard lately and I think you could use a break.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA break,\u201d Adam repeated again skeptically. Now he knew something was up. Folding his arms across his chest he waited for his father to reveal the real assignment.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have to go to Dayton to pick up some new horses for our army contract,\u201d Ben continued, \u201cI\u2019ll probably be gone at least three or four days, and while I\u2019m gone I would appreciate it if you would just stay around the house, you know to keep an eye on things.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grimaced now coming to a true understanding of why his father wanted him to stay home.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd is there any chance the \u201cthings\u201d you\u2019re wanting me to keep an eye on is a curly haired, green eyed boy, with a penchant for mischief?\u201d Adam queried.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, since you suggest it,\u201d his father answered, \u201ckeeping an eye on your younger brother might not be such a bad idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

Seeing that Adam was about to protest Ben raised a hand then continued on hastily.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve already confined him to his room for the weekend, and Hop Sing will be bringing him his meals. You won\u2019t even have to talk him unless you wish to. Now, come on be a good sport, you get to stay around the house for a few days, maybe catch up on some reading, relax.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam gave a bemused smile before stating, \u201cIf you really wanted me to have a relaxing weekend, Pa, you would take Joe with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd let him think he\u2019s getting off with no punishment,\u201d answered Ben, a shocked expression on his face, \u201cWhat kind of a father would I be if I did that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam could only shake his head at that last question.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, did anyone ever tell you you\u2019re sneaky?\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

As his father raised his eyebrows he quickly added. \u201cSmart, but sneaky.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben laughed and placing an arm around his son\u2019s shoulder the two walked back towards the house.<\/p>\n

Things went smoothly for the rest of that evening. Little Joe stayed in his room, Hoss was in the barn most of the evening with a sick cow, and Adam managed to relax enough to practice strumming out a new song on his guitar. Ben left early the next morning, but not before explaining to Joe in no uncertain terms that he was to stay in his room, and exactly what the consequences would be should he choose to ignore his instructions. It was nearly lunchtime before anything started to happen. It all began with the arrival of Mitch, who as Joe had correctly predicated was quite upset that his friend had not shown up at their pre-appointed fishing spot. Finding no one in the yard when he arrived he knocked on the door before entering. Mitch had been over to the Ponderosa so many times that he was hardly even considered a guest anymore.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello,\u201d he called out and the big empty room seemed to echo his greeting, \u201canybody home?\u201d Mitch took off his hat and scratched his head puzzled. He was just about to turn and leave when he heard a voice calling from upstairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cMitch is that you?\u201d called Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, it\u2019s me,\u201d he answered.<\/p>\n

Recognizing his friends voice he quickly bounded up the stairs, stopping short when he noticed Little Joe peeking just his head out from his bedroom door.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, you sick or something?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNah, I got in trouble yesterday thanks to bossy old Adam, and Pa said I have to stay in my room all weekend,\u201d replied Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe whole weekend?\u201d whined Mitch, \u201cAh, Joe, what did you go and do this time?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothin\u2019 worth getting in this much trouble over,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n

He put his hands behind his head as he leaned against the inside of his door frame. He wasn\u2019t about to step foot outside his room, with his luck that would be just the moment Adam would show up, and he had no desire to see Pa carry out his threat.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was just practicing roping some steers and they kinda spooked a little and ran off,\u201d he finished.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were practicing on real cattle, after what your Pa said a couple months ago?\u201d Mitch exclaimed, \u201cYou\u2019re lucky your Pa didn\u2019t skin you alive.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mitch sighed and then grinned at his friend.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo me a favor Little Joe and try to make it in one piece to your next birthday. I\u2019ve already bought your present and I\u2019d hate to have to return it because your Pa had killed you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Both boys snickered and then froze as they heard the front door open and then slam shut. When they heard heavy footsteps approaching the stairs Little Joe grabbed Mitch\u2019s arm and practically threw him into the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cQuick hide under the bed,\u201d whispered Little Joe as he quickly shut the door.<\/p>\n

Mitch scrambled under the bed just before a sharp knock sounded on the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you in there?\u201d came a frenzied voice.<\/p>\n

Joe breathed a sigh of relief, it was only Hoss. Suddenly, feeling angry over his scare he retorted, \u201cCourse I\u2019m in here, where else do you think I\u2019d be?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, excuse me all to pieces,\u201d Hoss replied as he opened the door and walked in, \u201cI just wanted to ask ya if you knew where that special tonic was Hop Sing made for me the time that calf was sick.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d Little Joe calmed down before answering, \u201cit\u2019s up in the hayloft on that beam just above the three knotholes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe hayloft?\u201d Hoss responded puzzled, \u201cWhat in tarnation is it doin\u2019 up there?\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe threw his hands into the air before answering.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you told me to put it somewhere safe, so that\u2019s what I did,\u201d he ranted, \u201cGood grief a fellow gets yelled at even when he does what he\u2019s asked around here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, Little Joe,\u201d Hoss started soothingly, \u201cI was just surprised is all; you did what I asked alright. You know you might want to spend some of your time up here thinkin up some ways to get back on Adam\u2019s good side. He\u2019s still stompin\u2019 around mumbling under his breath; something about having wasted three days of his life just so you could have your thirty minutes of glory.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe smirked, \u201cOh, I\u2019ve got plans for Adam alright; you just leave that to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you let me know if you need any advice, like for starters you might want to send Mitch on home before Adam catches him up here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mitch sheepishly popped his head out from under the bed and exchanged a worried glance with Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019d you know I was here?\u201d Mitch asked peering up at Hoss.<\/p>\n

Hoss grinned and then responded.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it wasn\u2019t too hard to figure out seein\u2019 as how your pony is tied up outside and you weren\u2019t nowhere around. You best just take my advice and head on home. Little Joe\u2019s done used up all of Adam\u2019s patience for about the next three months,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Hoss, he\u2019ll be leavin\u2019 in just a few minutes.\u201d Little Joe said as he practically shoved Hoss out the door.<\/p>\n

He had just had a wonderful idea on getting some help with his plans for revenge on Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Mitch,\u201d he started, when he was sure Hoss had gone, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you go home and see if your Pa will let you spend the weekend at my house?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow am I gonna stay here with you restricted to your room? Adam wouldn\u2019t let me and you know it,\u201d Mitch questioned.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam doesn\u2019t even have to know,\u201d Little Joe responded, \u201cyou can leave your pony over by our secret cave, and then sneak up the tree outside my window. I\u2019ve got some big plans for getting back at Adam and I\u2019m gonna need your help.\u201d<\/p>\n

During Joe\u2019s explanation Mitch\u2019s eyes had steadily been growing wider and wider.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, no you don\u2019t,\u201d he exclaimed when Joe paused, \u201cyou aren\u2019t draggin\u2019 me into another one of your crazy schemes. I\u2019m just now sitting comfortable again from the results of the last one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe last scheme as you put it,\u201d retorted Little Joe, \u201cI believe was your idea, and you owe me big. If I hadn\u2019t done some pretty fancy talkin those Indians would have scalped us for sure. You\u2019re the one that wanted to trade those fire crackers for a real bow and arrow, instead of just making one ourselves. After they went off I thought for sure those Indians were gonna murder us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mitch spluttered a bit but finally had to concede the point.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I guess the least I can do is ask my Pa, but if we get caught you better use your fancy talkin to get us out of trouble. School starts up again in just a few weeks and I want to be able to sit without groanin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can count on me,\u201d Joe replied excitedly. \u201cNow before you go I\u2019ll give you a list of things to bring back . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

Mitch sighed and settled down to listen to Joe go over his list.<\/p>\n

Joe waved to Mitch as he headed down the hall. He was just sure that all of his plans would go off without a hitch. If he had learned anything from past incidents he wouldn\u2019t have been so sure of himself, but Little Joe seldom looked to the past. Why waste time worrying about things you can\u2019t change, or things that haven\u2019t happened yet; when today held so much promise?<\/p>\n

It was a good four hours later before Little Joe heard the soft knock outside his window. Scrambling to his feet he quickly opened the window to let Mitch inside.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, Joe,\u201d Mitch said breathing heavily, \u201ctake this junk.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mitch threw a lumpy saddle bag through the window which landed on the floor with a heavy clang.<\/p>\n

\u201cShhh,\u201d cried Little Joe in alarm, \u201cyou want us to get caught before we even get started?\u201d He looked towards his closed door in panic.<\/p>\n

\u201cRelax,\u201d answered Mitch still out of breath, \u201cHoss and Adam are way out over by that new pasture, I saw them there as I was heading over here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, well, why didn\u2019t you just come in the front door then and use the stairs, instead of lugging all this stuff up the tree?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

Mitch looked at Little Joe with a dazed expression.<\/p>\n

\u201cDad burn it, Joe, you\u2019ve got me so bent on secret missions and all I just didn\u2019t think of it, that\u2019s why,\u201d he answered.<\/p>\n

Little Joe tried hard not to laugh at his friends predicament as he helped pull him in, but by the time he finished hauling Mitch into the room they were both doubled over with laughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Mitch,\u201d Little Joe asked wiping his eyes, \u201cdid you get all the stuff on my list?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep, I sure did,\u201d replied Mitch, \u201cI had a little trouble getting the red dye. My Ma only had one bottle left; I told her we really needed it for an experiment. You won\u2019t need to use the whole thing will ya? She said she wanted me to bring back what was left.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Little Joe winked at his friend, \u201cWe\u2019ll only need a few drops. Alright now let\u2019s get started before Adam and Hoss get home, we have a lot to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean I have a lot to do, you\u2019re just gonna be sittin\u2019 here in your room while I\u2019m out there riskin\u2019 my neck,\u201d retorted Mitch.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean just sittin\u2019 here?\u201d Squeaked Joe, \u201cSomebody has to be the mastermind, you know, do all the planning and given the orders and stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe puffed himself up trying his best to look important. \u201cBesides you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Mitch interrupted, \u201cI owe you. Remind me never to borrow from you again Little Joe, you charge too much interest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d Little Joe said looking confused, \u201cWhat are you talkin\u2019 about, Mitch?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind,\u201d he replied, \u201cnow what is it I\u2019ve gotta\u2019 do first?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mitch spent the next hour sneaking around the barn and house setting in motion all of Little Joe\u2019s plans. He was reminded once again of how glad he was that he and Little Joe were on the same side. It was just a little after five o\u2019clock before Joe decided Mitch had better stay in for the night since Hoss and Adam would be back anytime now.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Joe,\u201d said Mitch, \u201cWhat am I gonna do about supper, and where am I gonna sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe waved off his friend\u2019s concerns as he went over his checklist once more.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got it all figured out,\u201d he answered without looking up, \u201cyou eat the first plate Hop Sing brings up, and then I\u2019ll ask for more. Trust me, he\u2019ll be thrilled. Then tonight when everyone\u2019s asleep you can sneak into the pantry and get some food and we\u2019ll stash it up here. You\u2019re gonna have to sleep under the bed, but I\u2019ve got extra blankets.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mitch slowly shook his head before responding.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, Joe, you\u2019re about the only person I know that can make a visitor end up feeling like a fugitive from justice. But don\u2019t worry,\u201d he quickly headed off any protests from Joe, \u201cI don\u2019t have near as much fun with anyone else. I\u2019m with you all the way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe glanced quickly at his friend before once again returning to his list. Finally, satisfied that everything was in order he clapped his hands together and with a look of pure devilment on his face said, \u201cOk, Mitch, all we have to do for the rest of the night is sit back and wait for the fireworks.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mitch nodded and managed a weak smile at his friend.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs long as those fireworks aren\u2019t going off on our backsides by the end of the night, that\u2019ll be good enough for me,\u201d he mumbled.<\/p>\n

Adam rode into the yard whistling, Hoss not far behind. Things were going well with the new crew Pa had hired and they should be done rounding up the cattle by tomorrow afternoon, a full day ahead of schedule. He looked towards the house; he had to admit he was impressed that he hadn\u2019t heard a peep out of Little Joe. He didn\u2019t think his father\u2019s threats would have the least effect on Joe, and had fully expected a weekend of whining, chasing, and teenage tantrums.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe the boy\u2019s finally growing up,\u201d he thought to himself, \u201cor maybe he\u2019s sick? I guess I should go up and check on him a little later.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss followed Adam into the barn to put up the horses. He for one was more than glad Little Joe was being so cooperative. When Adam and Joe really got going, things could start to escalate out of control pretty fast. In an effort to keep Adam in a good frame of mind he offered to put up his horse for him. Adam had thanked him and headed happily into the house and after giving both horses a good rub down, Hoss left the barn ready for some good cookin\u2019. Riding always gave him such a big appetite. Suddenly, something nudged the back of his shoulder and he quickly turned around, surprised to see Chubb standing behind him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey,\u201d he yelled out as he noticed Sport making his way behind the barn toward the corral, \u201ccome back here. How in tarnation did you two get out?\u201d<\/p>\n

Chubb obediently followed his master back to his stall where Hoss carefully checked the latch. It appeared to have been filed down a bit and would no longer latch properly.<\/p>\n

\u201cDad burn it,\u201d Hoss mumbled under who his breath, \u201cwho\u2019d go and do a thing like that?\u201d<\/p>\n

He had a pretty good idea who it was, but for now he would keep his opinions to himself. He grabbed a rope to tie the stall door shut and keep Chubb in. He knew it wasn\u2019t going to be as easy trying to get Sport back into his stall, and briefly thought about going to get Adam since it was his horse, but decided it would be better to leave Adam out of this particular problem. He didn\u2019t want to start a war between his two stubborn brothers; at least not without Pa there to referee. He quickly grabbed another rope slapping it against his leg and mumbling under his breath as he trotted after his brother\u2019s high spirited mount.<\/p>\n

Several hours later, Adam paced up and down the living room floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is Hoss?\u201d he worried. When Hoss hadn\u2019t come in for supper Adam had gone to the barn to look for him. The first thing he noticed was that Hoss wasn\u2019t anywhere around, the second thing he noticed was that Sport was also missing.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat in the world, does he think he\u2019s doing?\u201d he wondered, \u201che\u2019s too big for my horse and he knows it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam walked back into the house a bit perturbed; it seemed that Hoss had borrowed his horse for some reason or other.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, no sense in letting the food get cold,\u201d he observed as he took his place.<\/p>\n

It was kind of nice eating in peace and quiet for a change.<\/p>\n

That had been three hours ago, however, and now Adam had worked himself up into a real worry. He turned suddenly upon hearing the loud clomping of approaching footsteps. As the front door opened he yelled, \u201cIt\u2019s about time . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

Any other words he had planned on saying died on his lips as he took in his brother\u2019s bedraggled appearance. Hoss was truly a sorry sight, dripping from head to toe with what could only be described as pond slime, he wearily made his way into the house closing the door behind him. He carried one boot in his hand, the other was nowhere to be seen, his shirt was missing a sleeve as well as most of the buttons, and his hat which he had unceremoniously slapped on top of his head was smashed flatter than a pancake.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t ask,\u201d he spoke to Adam\u2019s open-mouthed gaping figure, \u201call I want is a bath, some hot food, and bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam badly wanted to ask about his horse, but giving Hoss\u2019s current expression, at least the little bit of expression he could see through the gunk, quickly made him change his mind. He decided on the safer route of going out to the barn to check on the horse himself. Hopefully, Sport would be in better shape than his brother appeared to be in. Adam cautiously slipped around Hoss and out the door, closing it softly behind him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing,\u201d bellowed Hoss from the doorway, \u201cI need you!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing entered the room and upon seeing Hoss\u2019s condition immediately reverted to his native language, loudly protesting, and waving around a soggy dish rag. After a few moments of ranting he managed to get out enough English for Hoss to understand.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou go outside around back way to wash house, you no tromp through Hop Sing\u2019s clean house.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss glared at this statement then, giving a dramatic sigh, threw his hands into the air and turned and walked out of the house, leaving Hop Sing to his fit of frustration.<\/p>\n

After Hop Sing had sufficiently calmed down he finally brought Hoss enough hot water to deliver about a dozen babies and a handful of towels. Hoss had tossed his drenched and now smelly clothes into the laundry bucket near the door, and slowly lowered himself into the wonderfully soothing water.<\/p>\n

\u201cAhh, that\u2019s more like it,\u201d he thought to himself.<\/p>\n

The bath continued to work wonders on his mood and he was soon back to his old placid self. He noticed a bottle of Adam\u2019s hair tonic sitting on a shelf with the soap. Adam had traded one of the local Indian tribes some blankets in exchange for the hair tonic. It was supposed to make your hair smell good and make it extra shiny. Adam usually only used it when he was going on a date. Grabbing the bottle, he opened it and tentatively sniffed at the contents.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot bad,\u201d he thought, \u201ckinda like peppermint.\u201d<\/p>\n

He knew Adam didn\u2019t like his things being used without permission, but after the evening he\u2019d just had he figured Adam owed him, and he poured some of the contents into his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s peculiar,\u201d he made a face at the slippery substance, \u201cnever seen red soap before.\u201d<\/p>\n

He shrugged figuring the Indians knew what they were doing when it came to keeping hair. He poured some more of the liquid into his hand and liberally applied it to his head, then generously massaged it into his scalp, enjoying the tingling sensation it produced. He decided to let it sit for a bit as he soaked. In the dim light of the lantern Hoss didn\u2019t notice the water turning a light shade of pink, and the strong, homemade lye soap managed to get any traces of red off his hands, so a short time later it was a very unsuspecting Hoss that made his way in for a late supper.<\/p>\n

Adam having thoroughly checked over Sport and finding him no worse for wear, decided he might as well take care of the stock for the night. After finishing this task he headed back to the house. Wiping his boots on the mat provided by Hop Sing he opened the door and began humming a merry tune. He tossed his hat on the credenza and stepped around the corner figuring he would find Hoss at the table eating by now. He stopped dead in his tracks at the scene before him. Hoss was sitting at the table happily eating the supper Hop Sing had heated for him, acting for all the world as if everything were normal. Adam glanced over toward the kitchen and noticed Hop Sing standing quietly, just staring as Hoss ate.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you two starin\u2019 at?\u201d Hoss asked, \u201cain\u2019t you ever seen no one eat before?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Hoss,\u201d Adam cleared his throat to prevent himself from laughing, \u201cit\u2019s not your eating that\u2019s unusual.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talkin\u2019 about, Adam?\u201d Hoss was now growing impatient.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s uh . . . you know the top of your uh . . .\u201d Adam gestured towards Hoss\u2019s hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, are you sure you\u2019re feelin\u2019 alright? You\u2019re actin\u2019 a bit strange,\u201d he questioned.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss,\u201d Adam managed to squeak out, barely able to control his laughter, \u201cgo look in the mirror.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Hoss questioned.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo look in the mirror,\u201d Adam repeated.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow?\u201d Hoss was exasperated. \u201cOf the all the dang . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam lost track of what Hoss was saying as he watched him walk up the stairs to his bedroom. He walked over to his father\u2019s red leather chair and leaned heavily on the back waiting for the inevitable. He didn\u2019t have to wait long. He was sure Hoss\u2019s yell could be heard clear to Virginia City. His body shook with silent laughter as he waited for Hoss to come back down the stairs.<\/p>\n

Hoss descended the stairs with a fire in his eyes to match the color of his hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d he exclaimed loudly, \u201clook at my hair, you and your dad burned tonic. What am I gonna do?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam perked up at the mention of his tonic.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou used some of my hair tonic, without asking?\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n

\u201cI figured you owed it to me,\u201d ranted Hoss, \u201cafter I spent the whole dad blamed evening out chasin\u2019 your horse through that stinkin\u2019 swamp. Didn\u2019t think it would be too much trouble for you to let me use just a bit. I can\u2019t figure why it turned my hair red, it aint never done that to yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss flopped into a nearby chair running a hand through his hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cI look like a dad blamed candle with a flame lighted on top of my head,\u201d he whined.<\/p>\n

Adam having now processed Hoss\u2019s information had come to a few conclusions.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss my tonic wouldn\u2019t have turned your hair red without\u2026\u201d he began.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean it wouldn\u2019t turn my hair red?\u201d Hoss interrupted, \u201cjust look at it, Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow calm down and let me finish,\u201d Adam replied, \u201cI was saying that my tonic wouldn\u2019t have turned your hair red without a little help from someone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean someone did somethin\u2019 to it so\u2019s this would happen?\u201d he questioned.<\/p>\n

A slow dawning realization was coming over Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy that little . . . I\u2019ll skin him alive!\u201d Hoss said as he jumped up and headed for the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss wait!\u201d Adam ran over laying a restraining hand on his furious brother\u2019s shoulder, \u201cHe\u2019ll be sound asleep by now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell he\u2019s about to wake up!\u201d Hoss shouted toward the top of the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cShhh,\u201d Adam tried to quiet Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, I\u2019ll do what I can for your hair, but you leave Little Joe to me. Pa told me to keep an eye on him so he\u2019s my responsibility,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you sure aint been doin\u2019 much of a job so far,\u201d Hoss said, then looked at Adam desperately, \u201cCan you really do somethin\u2019 about my hair?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome up to my room and I\u2019ll see what we can do,\u201d replied Adam.<\/p>\n

The boys headed up the stairs leaving a very quiet, very confused cook behind them.<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright better come home quick,\u201d Hop Sing muttered, \u201cor Hop Sing go back to China.\u201d<\/p>\n

A half hour later Adam stood back and let Hoss observe the final product.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt looks terrible,\u201d Hoss whined.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s as short as I can get it with these scissors,\u201d replied Adam, \u201cNow, if you want me to just shave it all off\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no,\u201d came Hoss\u2019s quick response as he lifted his hands in surrender, \u201cI guess this will have to do. I just hope no one sees me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss suddenly turned pale and whipped around to face Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cDad burn it, Adam, I just remembered I\u2019m suppose to go in to town tomorrow to pick up those supplies for Pa. I can\u2019t let no one see me like this,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cRelax, Hoss,\u201d Adam replied calmly, \u201cyour hair\u2019s so short now that as long as you keep your hat on no one will notice that it\u2019s red.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure?\u201d Hoss questioned, then again panicked as another thought struck him, \u201cSupposin\u2019 I meet a gal? I can\u2019t take my hat off with this hair!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll just have to be sure to avoid any girls,\u201d Adam responded coolly, \u201cNow I have to go out for a little while. I won\u2019t be back for at least a couple of hours so don\u2019t wait up for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere you goin\u2019, Adam?\u201d Hoss called after him, \u201cit\u2019s getting\u2019 late.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing you need to worry about,\u201d he answered, \u201cYou get some sleep and I\u2019ll see you in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss wearily made his way to his room. How could so many things go wrong in just one day? After a few moments he gave a loud \u201cHmph!\u201d He knew exactly how things could go so wrong. He glared angrily at Little Joe\u2019s door for a moment and then turned back to his room.<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess I can wait to pound him till tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

The thought cheered him slightly; that is until he opened his bedroom door. A chilling breeze instantly greeted him as he made his way into his room. He gawked, looking around and surveying the damage. Papers from the top of his dresser were strewn all over the floor, a fresh layer of dirt lay over the top of everything, and his floor and bed were covered in leaves and pine needles. He quickly sized up the situation. Someone had taken the glass panes out of his window, and he knew exactly who that someone was.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe!\u201d He yelled making his way towards his brother\u2019s room, \u201cyou got about three seconds to high tail it out your window cause when I get in there-\u201d<\/p>\n

He paused as he heard a loud scraping sound followed by a dull thud coming from the inside of Joe\u2019s door.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s goin\u2019 on in there?\u201d Hoss asked, as he reached out and turned the door handle.<\/p>\n

He was startled to find the door wouldn\u2019t budge. The sound of more scraping along with a few more thuds brought him to the realization that his brother was moving his furniture in front of the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle brother, if you think that\u2019s gonna stop me, you\u2019ve got another thing coming,\u201d he thought to himself.<\/p>\n

A few minutes later Hop Sing down in his own room decided it was probably safe to come out. He had quickly high tailed it under the bed when the thunderous sounds of a bed, a dresser, a desk, and two terrified teenage boys had gone careening across the floor of the room above him. Without another moment\u2019s hesitation he began packing his bags for China.<\/p>\n

Back upstairs Mitch huddled in a corner of Joe\u2019s room watching in horror what he was sure was going to be the death of his best friend. Hoss had literally lifted Joe off the floor by the front of his nightshirt and had him pinned against the wall. Little Joe was drawing on every ounce of smooth talk he could muster.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow Hoss, Mitch didn\u2019t realize it was your room he took the window panes out of, he thought it was Adam\u2019s . . . Hoss not so tight I can\u2019t breathe . . .You know Mitch has never been in either of your rooms and . . . really Hoss your holding too tight. I can\u2019t get enough air . . . Mitch and I would never do anything to you; you know you\u2019re my favorite brother . . . Hoss, Hoss, really I can\u2019t breathe. \u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss relaxed his grip a little seeing that his brother was starting to turn an odd shade of purple.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, because of you,\u201d he sputtered furiously, \u201cI\u2019ve spent half the day in a swamp trying to get out of a bog I fell into while fetching Adam\u2019s horse, my room looks like the inside of a barn, and my hair could be used to light the way in a snowstorm! Now, I don\u2019t know what else you got planned for Adam, but you better just unplan it, or I\u2019m personally gonna turn you inside out! You got it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe nodded vigorously. At this moment he was only too happy to comply with Hoss\u2019s wishes.<\/p>\n

Hoss set Joe down on the ground none to gently then, without saying another word, he turned and marched into his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him.<\/p>\n

Little Joe and Mitch stayed unmoving for several minutes, afraid that Hoss might come back.<\/p>\n

Finally, Mitch spoke, \u201cJoe, I think I\u2019ve done paid you back by now. I really should be getting on home in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked pleadingly at his friend. Little Joe having come to the conclusion that his plans for revenge were not working out so good, decided to let Mitch off the hook, and with only one day left of his restriction he no longer had the desire to push the limits.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s okay, Mitch, you go ahead,\u201d Little Joe answered.<\/p>\n

Mitch breathed a sigh of relief and both boys set to work getting the room back in order.<\/p>\n

Around midnight that night at the same time Hop Sing slipped out the back door Adam quietly slipped in through the front door each carrying a sack over their shoulder. Up the stairs Little Joe, Mitch, and Hoss unaware of what was taking place below them were all fast asleep.<\/p>\n

The next morning, Adam skipped cheerfully down the stairs. He wanted to get an early start on all his work for the day, so that he would have time to put together his plan for Little Joe. He was surprised to see that the table wasn\u2019t set and he couldn\u2019t smell anything cooking.<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing,\u201d he called out as he entered the kitchen.<\/p>\n

Sure enough there was no food on the stovetop.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s strange,\u201d he thought.<\/p>\n

Glancing around the kitchen he saw a note lying on top of the table. He quickly picked it up and scanned over the brief message.<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat, just great!\u201d He lamented.<\/p>\n

After a moment, he began rummaging through the pantry. He figured he\u2019d better have something cooked up by the time Hoss woke up. It would be hard enough to break the news to him that Hop Sing was gone even with some breakfast as a peace offering. He had just finished setting out the slightly undercooked potatoes when Hoss wandered over to the table. Hoss was sniffling and his eyes were red and puffy. He gave a gigantic sneeze before dropping heavily into his chair.<\/p>\n

\u201cOhhhhh,\u201d Hoss groaned.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter with you?\u201d Adam asked concerned. He knew Hoss hated being sick and he definitely appeared to be coming down with something.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a little too much fresh air last night I guess,\u201d Hoss replied sarcastically.<\/p>\n

\u201cI keep telling you to shut your window at night, maybe now you\u2019ll listen to me,\u201d Adam scolded.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019ll try to remember that,\u201d came his raspy response.<\/p>\n

Hoss reached for the eggs and it was then he noticed something was not quite right.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, what is this?\u201d He questioned, \u201cWho cooked this, and where\u2019s Hop Sing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s voice had now risen to a state of near panic.<\/p>\n

\u201cCalm down, Hoss,\u201d Adam said soothingly, \u201cIt seems Hop Sing got a little tired of all the shenanigans going on around here and . . . well he . . . that is . . . \u201d Adam trailed off helplessly. The pitiful look on Hoss\u2019s face was almost too much for him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not sayin\u2019 he\u2019s gone are you?\u201d Hoss asked gulping loudly.<\/p>\n

Adam could only nod his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure he\u2019ll be back. Pa should be home by tomorrow night and he\u2019ll see that everything gets worked out,\u201d Adam tried to reassure him.<\/p>\n

Hoss did not look convinced but he began eating the rubbery eggs, and even took a couple of pieces of burnt toast.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I should bring something up to Joe,\u201d Adam said when they were almost done eating.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll do that,\u201d snapped Hoss, \u201cI have a few things I want to say to him anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, have it your way,\u201d replied Adam, \u201cjust remember you have to go into town today and pick up those supplies.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss groaned, \u201cAh, Adam, can\u2019t you go for me. I\u2019m not feelin\u2019 good. I\u2019ll stay here and do the chores.\u201d Suddenly remembering his hair he added, \u201cBesides, I don\u2019t think I can get away with wearin\u2019 my hat indoors and such.\u201d He gave Adam a pleading look.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Hoss,\u201d Adam said, \u201cbut I have to ride up and check on the logging crew today. We\u2019re getting ready to build that new shoot and I have to finalize the plans with the foreman.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss gave a resigned sigh before bringing his dishes into the kitchen, he had a feeling it was going to be another one of those days.<\/p>\n

Hoss gave a sharp knock on Little Joe\u2019s door and then entered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve brought you your breakfast,\u201d he said, roughly setting down the tray on Joe\u2019s desk, \u201cI think you should know that Hop Sing has gone, thanks to all your pranks, so there won\u2019t be much in the way of eatin\u2019 for awhile.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe glanced down at the tray.<\/p>\n

\u201cBread and water?\u201d He squeaked.<\/p>\n

One look at Hoss\u2019s bright red nose and puffy eyes was enough to silence any further protests from Little Joe, however.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh, thanks for bringin\u2019 it up,\u201d He stated quietly.<\/p>\n

Hoss rode into town using as many of the side streets as possible, and entered the livery through the back door. He didn\u2019t expect their order of horseshoes to be ready until next week, but he had a plan for Jimmy, the boy who swept out the stables. He was relieved to see the young boy entering through the front door, alone.<\/p>\n

\u201cPsst,\u201d Hoss motioned Jimmy over to him, \u201cHow\u2019d you like to earn a silver dollar, Jimmy?\u201d<\/p>\n

The young boy\u2019s eyes shone brightly at the generous offer, and he eagerly nodded his head. Hoss handed him a slip of paper, which contained his list and signature authorizing the boy to gain the supplies at the local mercantile.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow,\u201d Hoss told the boy, \u201cthere\u2019s two bags of candy on that list. You do a real good job and don\u2019t tell no one where I am and one of those bags is yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jimmy seemed more pleased by the offer of candy than the money, \u201cI\u2019ll be real careful, Hoss, I promise.\u201d With that the young boy ran out the door to fulfill his duties.<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s cold was getting worse as the morning progressed. He briefly thought about going to see Doc Martin for a tonic, but didn\u2019t want to risk running into anyone. He slowly sank down into a pile of freshly spread straw in one of the empty stalls. By the time Jimmy got back with Hoss\u2019s packages, the livery was shaking with Hoss\u2019s loud snoring.<\/p>\n

Jimmy giggled as he observed Hoss with his mouth wide open. He grabbed a piece of straw and lightly tickled Hoss\u2019s nose. Hoss brushed at the straw and slowly opened his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat . . . oh, hey, Jimmy. You back already?\u201d Hoss asked, wiping the sleep from his eyes.<\/p>\n

A moment later Mrs. Watkins, the wife of the livery stable owner, stormed in. She had heard Hoss\u2019s snoring, and with her husband momentarily out at the blacksmiths, she had gone to investigate. She rounded the corner just as Hoss, who had been getting up, let out a monstrous sneeze. Not expecting to encounter anyone, she gave a slight scream, which startled Hoss. He jumped back causing his hat to fall off. Mrs. Watkins gave another scream as she caught sight of Hoss\u2019s bright red hair.<\/p>\n

Hoss reached out to try and calm her.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me explain,\u201d he started.<\/p>\n

Mrs. Watkins instinctively took a step back from Hoss\u2019s outstretched arms, and nearly tripped over Jimmy who had been standing nearby wide eyed. Hoss managed to grab onto her before she hit the floor, and it was to this scene that Mr. Watkins entered the barn. He had heard his wife\u2019s scream as he approached the stables, and had come on the run. He charged over to Hoss and without a word removed his wife from his hold, and delivered a solid left hook to Hoss\u2019s right cheek.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeow, now, Mr. Watkins, hang on just a dad burned minute,\u201d was all Hoss managed to get out before Mr. Watkins followed through with a quick right hitting Hoss squarely in the mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cHenry!\u201d Mrs. Watkins screeched, \u201cstop that fighting this instant! Hoss was only trying to keep me from falling. I got startled is all.\u201d<\/p>\n

She tried to look severely at her husband, but secretly she was pleased that he had so passionately come to her rescue.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, what in the world are you doing in here?\u201d She questioned.<\/p>\n

Hoss rubbed his mouth tenderly then moved his hand to hold it over his aching eye.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs you can see I had a little accident with my hair,\u201d he explained, \u201cand I didn\u2019t want anyone in town to notice me, so I stayed here and had Jimmy go and fetch my supplies for me. Dad burn it, Henry, you pack a mean punch!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Hoss,\u201d Charlie said, \u201cwhen I heard Mattie scream, I just reacted before I took time to think. By the way, what did happen to your hair?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind, Charlie, never mind,\u201d muttered Hoss.<\/p>\n

He gathered his packages from Jimmy and loaded them in his saddle bag. After giving Jimmy his money and the candy, he gingerly mounted Chubb and headed for home. All the while muttering under his breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cI told Adam I didn\u2019t want to go into town today, but no, just gotta have those supplies . . . dad burn it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Back at the ranch Adam added a few spices to the stew for supper, then sniffing the contents he grimaced. He hadn\u2019t known what each spice was as he added it, but individually they had smelled pretty good.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess they don\u2019t mix too well,\u201d he thought and gagged as he tasted his creation, \u201cWell, I\u2019m pretty sure they\u2019re a few more jars of Hop Sing\u2019s homemade ketchup somewhere around here.\u201d<\/p>\n

He scooted bottles and jars around until he found one containing the red substance. He\u2019d have to be sure to tell Hoss to mix a good amount of it with his stew. Adam decided, for himself, to just go with bread and some cheese.<\/p>\n

About half hour later Hoss entered the house and started to yell for Hop Sing, but then remembered that Hop Sing was gone. He tried to sniff the air to see if he could decipher what Adam was making for supper, but his nose was too stuffed up. Rounding the corner, he was glad to see that at least everything was all set out on the table. He hadn\u2019t been able to get anything to eat in town between everything that had happened, and he was starving. He could hear Adam whistling in the kitchen and as he sat down at the table he scooped out a generous portion of the stew. He made a face figuring it was probably going to be pretty bad. Hoss looked around the table for some bread and was pleased when he spotted a bottle of Hop Sing\u2019s ketchup on the table. He added a liberal amount to his stew, then taking a large bite, he swallowed almost without chewing. Suddenly, tears started pouring from his eyes and he opened his mouth and gasped. Desperately he began a futile attempt to put the fire in his mouth out by fanning it with his hand.<\/p>\n

Hoss had just finished gulping down his water when Adam walked in from the kitchen holding the bread plate. He quickly motioned to Adam for more water. Adam handed him the water pitcher and stood back in amazement as Hoss chugged the whole thing. After a moment Hoss looked up through watery eyes and gasped, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you tell me that was hot sauce?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHot sauce?\u201d Adam answered. \u201cI thought it was ketchup. Sorry about that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss no longer felt like eating and was pretty sure he was getting at least one blister on his tongue. He sniffed and found that on the plus side his sinus\u2019s had cleared considerably.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss,\u201d Adam asked hesitantly, \u201cDid you get into a fight in town today? Your eye looks terrible and that cut on your lip looks like it could use a little doctoring.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss glared at Adam from across the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo Adam,\u201d came his menacing response, \u201cI didn\u2019t get into a fight.\u201d He breathed deeply trying to calm himself before continuing.<\/p>\n

\u201cI really don\u2019t want to talk about it right now. I\u2019m goin\u2019 up to bed. Goodnight.\u201d Hoss headed up the stairs grabbing a couple of extra blankets, since he hadn\u2019t had time to repair his window yet.<\/p>\n

Adam watched after Hoss for a moment, then finished off his bread and cheese, washing it down with a cup of hot black coffee. After clearing the table, he decided it was time to start putting his plan into action. Entering the kitchen he got out the sack he had hidden in one of the cupboards last night. He had spent a couple of hours the night before carefully collecting all the ingredients he would need to make the world\u2019s nastiest smelling stink bomb. He had encased the horrible smelling concoction inside of a very thick paper cone that he had hardened by dipping it in a paste made from flour. There was a very short fuse and just enough gun powder woven in to cause the cone to burst and spread the foul odor. He planned to roll it into Joe\u2019s room while he was sleeping, and then wait and watch for Joe to make a quick exit. He then planned to confront Joe with a stern lecture on the wrong\u2019s of seeking vengeance and give him a long list of chores that would keep him busy most of the next day.<\/p>\n

About an hour later Joe was in his room under the bed reading his latest dime novel \u201cThe Stagecoach Bombing\u201d. He had managed to keep himself content on his last day of solitude with the book, and was on the final chapter now. Adam had checked in on him a short time ago and he had pretended to be asleep. After Adam left he rolled quietly to the floor and under the bed where he lit a candle to read his book by. Of course, lighting candles after bed, not to mention under it, was strictly forbidden, but he just had to find out how Sgt. Watley was going to catch the bomber. His mind was thoroughly wrapped up in mystery and intrigue as Adam slowly opened the door and rolled in the bomb. Little Joe turned as he heard something move along the floor, seeing what to his mind was a bomb, he quickly reacted the way the Sgt. had in chapter three. In an impressively swift move he swept out from under the bed, scooped up the bomb, and rushing to the door flung it open, and rolled the bomb out the door into the hall. According to chapter three the bomb should explode catching the perpetrator with his own weapon. However, the bomb continued to roll, right under Hoss\u2019s door. Adam who had watched all this happen in amazement quickly came alive and ran for Hoss\u2019s door. He had almost made it there when he heard a soft \u201cpoof\u201d, and he knew it was too late.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat in tarnation?\u201d Hoss thundered, as he quickly exited his room, slamming the door shut behind him.<\/p>\n

He turned toward Little Joe with an almost maniacal gleam in his eye.<\/p>\n

\u201cI warned you what I would do if you didn\u2019t quit with your pranks,\u201d he said, advancing menacingly on the now petrified Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, wait!\u201d Adam moved to intercede, \u201cIt wasn\u2019t Little Joe . . . it was me . . . I was trying to teach Joe a lesson.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss turned on Adam, \u201cYou were gonna teach him a lesson by setting off a stink bomb in my room.\u201d he roared.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, please,\u201d Adam begged, \u201cIt was an accident. Now, look you\u2019re sick and over tired. Why don\u2019t you just go and get some sleep and everything will look better in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Hoss,\u201d chimed in Little Joe, \u201cand with no glass in the window, your room should be aired out by morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

This remark earned Little Joe a hard glare from Hoss, and a puzzled frown from Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d said Hoss, \u201cI\u2019m gonna go sleep in the spare room, and don\u2019t either of you wake me up tomorrow until Pa gets home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Both Adam and Little Joe shifted uncomfortably as they thought of what Pa would say when he found out what they\u2019d been up to. Adam could just see the chores piling up and Little Joe was sure he wouldn\u2019t be sitting easily for quite awhile.<\/p>\n

As one the three brothers turned and headed towards their various places of rest. Little Joe was just about to enter his room when a he sudden thought occurred to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, don\u2019t!\u201d Little Joe turned and yelled, but to no avail.<\/p>\n

Joe had forgotten about the booby traps Mitch had set up in the spare room. They had figured Adam would be sleeping in there with no glass in his window, and had laid a few traps for him.<\/p>\n

A loud crash was heard as a bucket of slop spilled onto Hoss\u2019s head from above the door, and then crashed to the floor. He staggered forward and Little Joe watched in dismay as Hoss slipped on the marbles that had been spread across the room. Hoss\u2019s feet went flying out from under him and he landed with a heavy bang on the hard wooden floor.<\/p>\n

Both Adam and Little Joe exchanged remorseful glances as they listened to the pitiful sounds emitting from the spare room. They hated to hear a grown man cry.<\/p>\n

It was around one o\u2019clock in the morning before Doc Martin took his leave. The final verdict was that Hoss had a bad head cold, a black eye and split lip, which the doctor had had to put two stitches into. On top of that he had a slight concussion and a sprained ankle. The doctor left Adam with strict instructions that Hoss was to stay in bed for at least a week. He needed lots of rest, plenty of liquids, and some good wholesome meals. Adam thanked the Doc for coming and saw him to the door. Between he and Little Joe they had managed to get Hoss into the downstairs guest bedroom and had wiped away most of the goop. Adam very quietly checked on Hoss one last time and was relieved to see him sound asleep. He was sure the doctor had given him something to help out in that area. He slowly made his way across the room towards Little Joe, who had fallen asleep in his father\u2019s chair. As he gazed down at the sleeping picture of innocence, he chuckled lightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow could such a little trouble maker look so angelic?\u201d He thought to himself.<\/p>\n

Adam gently shook Joe\u2019s shoulder. \u201cJoe, it\u2019s time to go to bed. I\u2019m afraid you\u2019re getting a little too big for me to carry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam helped Joe up to bed, and before leaving turned to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Brother,\u201d he said softly, \u201cI think you and I need to call a truce, if there\u2019s any hope for Hoss\u2019s survival that is.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe mumbled something incoherent in reply as Adam silently left the room. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.<\/p>\n

As Adam had predicted the next day was indeed interesting. Little Joe had gotten up very early, partly to make Hoss some breakfast and partly because he was ecstatic to finally be out of his room. Adam joined Joe in the kitchen and together they managed to make a fairly decent stack of pancakes for their invalid brother. Squaring their shoulders they decided to go in as a team to meet their fate.<\/p>\n

Little Joe carefully set the tray on the nightstand beside Hoss, then took a few steps back towards his eldest brother.<\/p>\n

Hoss looked over at the tray, said, \u201cLooks good,\u201d in a croaky voice, then bent his head to continue writing.<\/p>\n

Adam was interested as he watched Hoss writing in a small notebook; he cleared his throat softly not wanting to seem intrusive, but curious none the less.<\/p>\n

Hoss finished his writing, and snapped the book shut handing it over to Adam.<\/p>\n

Adam opened the book and scanned the first page, quickly flipping to the second, and then a third.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d he asked casually.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat,\u201d Hoss began, \u201cis what you and Little Joe are going to be doing for me for the next week.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam gave him a bewildered expression, so Hoss continued.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m assuming neither one of you wants Pa to find out about what went on this weekend?\u201d After both of his brothers answered in the affirmative he went on, \u201cWell, I just might tell him that what happened to my face was a misunderstanding in town, which was technically true, and that my sprained ankle was due to my falling down, also true. I won\u2019t have to explain my hair cause as you can see whatever that stuff was that spilled on my head last night caused the dye to come clean out. So, as long as you boys get everything done on that there list, I don\u2019t see any reason Pa has to know anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam gave a low whistle as he again glanced over the list.<\/p>\n

\u201cSome of these things on here aren\u2019t going to be easy,\u201d Adam stated as he handed the book over to Joe.<\/p>\n

Joe looked over the list his eyes growing wide. He looked up at Adam and the two seemed to come to a silent understanding. As bad as Hoss\u2019s list was, it was much better than having to face Pa.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright,\u201d Adam said, \u201cWe\u2019ll do it. I better get going then if I\u2019m gonna be able to get number one on the list done before Pa gets home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe read the item next to number one again.<\/p>\n

1. Find Hop Sing and bring him home!<\/p>\n

Little Joe gave the book back to Hoss and turned to go also, he too was going to have a busy day. With Adam going after Hop Sing, he would have to do all the chores by himself and then he had to clean up Hoss\u2019s room, replace the window panes, and put some new latches on the stall door out in the barn. Well, at least he wouldn\u2019t be stuck in his room anymore.<\/p>\n

When both brothers had gone Hoss plumped up his pillows and, sitting up, grabbed the tray of pancakes, digging in with a relish. He smiled slowly to himself as he thought of all the things Adam and Joe were going to be doing for him over the next week. Of course, he would never really tell on his brothers, but they didn\u2019t have to know that.<\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: One wants to teach a lesson, one wants revenge, one just wants some peace quiet. With the three high spirited Cartwright boys home alone for the weekend anything can happen. Which one will come out on top?<\/p>\n

Rated: Family Friendly \/ Word count: 10,300<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":9517,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[14,15,17,16],"class_list":["post-10377","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-ben","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-4-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/brothers.jpg?fit=399%2C299&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10377","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/16"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10377"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10377\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9517"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10377"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10377"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10377"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}