{"id":10721,"date":"2015-03-15T18:00:50","date_gmt":"2015-03-15T22:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10721"},"modified":"2025-02-18T19:10:55","modified_gmt":"2025-02-19T00:10:55","slug":"the-lilies-of-the-field-book-1-of-the-lilies-series","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10721","title":{"rendered":"The Lilies of the Field – Book 1 of the Lilies Series (by sandspur)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong> With Ben away, the Cartwright boys face down\u00a0poachers, a train robbery, a fire that nearly destroys the Ponderosa, a strange new school teacher and a lost dog. But when Ben returns, the biggest problem of all is gossip.<\/p>\n

Rating:<\/strong> T (mild language, mature themes, violence) \u00a0 WC 109,300<\/p>\n

The Lilies Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Lilies of the Field<\/a>
\nThe Lilies of the Valley<\/a>
\nOne Scarlet Lily<\/a>
\nThe Strawberry Roan<\/a><\/p>\n

The Lilies of the Field – Book 1 of the Lilies Series<\/strong><\/p>\n

Chapter 1<\/strong><\/p>\n

Riding fence was not Adam Cartwright\u2019s favorite job. For Hoss and Little Joe it was a time to be out in the fresh air and at one with their horses. If he had been Hoss, he could simply have taken life as it came while riding fence, enjoying the warm sun and blue sky, looking forward to a good meal. If he had been Joe, he would be reveling in his youth and strength, smooching with Cochise, and planning which girls he would be dancing with at the next shindig. But he was Adam\u2026and today was a day when being Adam was no fun.<\/p>\n

Adam had no aversion to fresh air, and he had nothing against Beauty, although he didn\u2019t really regard himself and Beauty as companions. If Beauty could have read even the first page of Don Quixote<\/em>, they might have had something to talk about, but as things were, Beauty was transportation, the cattle they raised were food and hides, and dogs and cats were annoyances that Hoss was always bringing home to rehabilitate.<\/p>\n

Even if he had loved all the things he encountered, he still wouldn\u2019t have liked riding fence, because it gave him too much time with his thoughts. Adam Cartwright had one major flaw: he thought too much. His brain never slowed down and simply accepted what was. Sometimes it moved backwards in time, dwelling on past losses and hardships; sometimes it moved forward and wondered what he was missing out on. Sometimes he wondered why he was nearly 35 years old and not married with children of his own when there were plenty of nice women around, and plenty of them seemed to fancy him\u2026but then, he simply didn\u2019t fancy any of them. Not for long, anyway.<\/p>\n

That sagging section of fence was just begging for something to tangle something up. He stopped, untied his tool sack and removed a crow bar. It only took a few minutes to remove the nail, tighten the wire and hammer the new nails in, but it was hot work, and he was drenched in sweat and resentment when he finished.<\/p>\n

He heard the high-pitched yelp coming from the woods, and he took his rifle down from the saddle. It was still Ponderosa land, fence or no fence, and if there was some coyote back there it was just a short wait before the calves would start turning up mangled and dead.<\/p>\n

His first thought when he saw the clump of fur stuck between two trees was to wonder just what the devil it was. Too big to be a coyote; way too furry to be a wolf; too small for a bear. His second thought was that it must be a dog, though without a doubt the ugliest dog he\u2019d ever seen.<\/p>\n

And then he saw the trap the dog was stuck in, and for a moment white-hot fury set in. It wasn\u2019t one of theirs. The Cartwrights kept a careful inventory of their traps, and only set them out after a direct sighting\u2026and they paced off the land and wrote the directions down, so there was no possibility of any of them winding up stepping in one. There was only one conclusion. Poachers were on Ponderosa land, setting traps right next to a well-used trail where anybody could step in them. It could as easily have been his horse\u2014or himself. Somebody was going to pay for this.<\/p>\n

The dog yelped again as it tried to move, and looked imploringly at Adam. He took a few cautious steps in its direction, wondering if it might be better to just shoot the thing now and put it out of its misery. Surely it would never have the use of that leg again\u2014and then he chuckled as he realized the dog wasn\u2019t stuck by a leg, but by its too-long, bushy tail.<\/p>\n

He looked again. The dog cringed, squinting its almond-shaped eyes\u2014blue eyes, the color of ice\u2014and turning its head sideways. \u201cWhen a dog goes all squinty-eyed at ya and turns its head, it means she knows who the boss is, and it ain\u2019t her,\u201d Hoss had explained to him once about how you could tell what a dog was thinking by the way it moved. Well, possibly that meant it would not bite. He stretched out his hand to allow the dog to sniff, but it cringed away from his hand, too. He shrugged and went to its hindquarters, grasped the trap, and slowly managed to open it. The dog sprang out as soon as the pressure was relieved, but its tail was a bloody mess. Well, the thing had to have a home somewhere; it might even belong to the trappers themselves. \u201cGo on home,\u201d Adam said. He pulled up the stake anchoring the trap and put the whole thing up in a tree, breaking off a long branch and looking around for other traps. He found three others within a hundred feet of the first; angrily he sprung them, then pulled up their stakes. Then he happened to look back. There was the dog, sitting there staring at him. He waved his arms. \u201cGet!\u201d<\/p>\n

A hundred or so feet further, he looked back and realized he was not alone. The dog was following behind him. He pulled up Beauty and turned in the saddle. \u201cGO HOME!\u201d<\/p>\n

But the dog stayed on Beauty\u2019s heels. Finally frustrated, Adam jumped off Beauty and waved his hat at the dog, yelling all the while. The dog sat down a safe distance away and just looked at him. \u201cOkay, no more playing,\u201d Adam muttered. He picked up a dead stick and pitched it directly at the dog, who bounded out of the way, hopping on three legs as it did so. Shaking his head, Adam mounted Beauty and went on, relieved to see the dog was nowhere in sight.<\/p>\n

At about noon, Adam reached the end of his section. Sighing, he sat down with his canteen and a wrapped ham sandwich.<\/p>\n

And the dog\u2014carrying the stick he had thrown\u2014limped up, wagging its mangled tail, and deposited the stick at his feet. Then it sat down and looked hopefully at the sandwich. \u201cSpit fire and save matches,\u201d he muttered under his breath, and tossed the sandwich over.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Hoss was chopping firewood and Joe was stacking it into a neat half-cord next to the kitchen door when Adam returned. They turned to wave, and then Joe burst out laughing. \u201cAdam\u2019s got a girlfriend!\u201d<\/p>\n

Scowling, Adam jumped down from Beauty and glanced back to where the dog was still following him. \u201cFound it up by the south pasture fence line, and now I can\u2019t get rid of the darn thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, we knew it was only a matter of time, Adam,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cAfter all, you bein\u2019 so irresistible to women and all\u2026\u201d And Joe burst into a giggling fit that nearly choked him.<\/p>\n

Adam rolled his eyes. \u201cHow can you tell it\u2019s a girl?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I know how, and knows how,\u201d Joe snickered. \u201cBut I remember you never could tell, Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n

At a loss for a clever retort, Adam just sputtered. \u201cI never saw so much fur in my life! Only place it doesn\u2019t have fur everywhere is on its face, and it\u2019s got a face that looks like a wedge of pie!\u201d He led Beauty toward the barn, calling back over his shoulder, \u201cHey Hoss, might want to look at its tail. It\u2019s hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

By the time he had Beauty clean and eating, the unwelcome visitor was sitting indignantly in a galvanized tub being thoroughly sudsed by Hoss and his ever-present bar of sulfur soap. \u201cYou know,\u201d Hoss said, \u201cShe is<\/em> a girl, and once ya get all the hair layin\u2019 down, she\u2019s just a little ole bitty scrawny thing. I don\u2019t think she weighs more\u2019n 40, 45 pounds. Hurt, too, Adam\u2014she\u2019s got a cracked rib and her paws are all tore up, \u2019specially this one here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmmm. So is it really brown under all the dirt?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt ain\u2019t all dirt. That funny gray and black color comes natural. It\u2019s like a roan horse, with white hair shot through all the black. The face is brown\u2014except for all them gray and black stripes and dots\u2014and part of her hind legs are brown. But the rest is either that blue roan color or solid white.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSolid white?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep, she got white socks just like Beauty, and a big ole white napkin-lookin\u2019 thing around her neck makes her look like the Queen of England.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grunted. \u201cWhat about the tail?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, Adam, that\u2019s gotta be cut off. I can save maybe half of it. You wanna help me operate?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot particularly,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cNot my dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Joe figured he\u2019d probably hear every possible permutation of the name \u201cJoseph Francis Cartwright\u201d if Pa ever found out what had happened to that fine bottle of whisky. But it wasn\u2019t his fault if his father never kept any cheap rotgut around the house. Besides, with any luck maybe he and Hoss would save a little money and replace it before Pa got back from Kansas. Anyway, the dog had to be calm and quiet if they were going to get rid of that mangled tail, so he figured it was a worthy cause.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou reckon it\u2019s a sin?\u201d Hoss asked as he held the dog in his lap, with his huge hand pulling the dog\u2019s cheek into a pouch so Joe could pour the whisky in.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s a sin?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, we\u2019re stealin\u2019 Pa\u2019s whisky, and using it to get a dumb animal drunker than a skunk. An\u2019 this poor li\u2019l girl might not even be a drinker.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think she is,\u201d Joe agreed, watching as the dog wiggled, trying to slosh the whisky out. \u201cBut we\u2019re just borrowin\u2019 the whisky. We\u2019ll pay it back before Pa gets home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou hope. I ain\u2019t so sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I figure the Good Book says if our hearts are pure, it don\u2019t matter what we do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t think that\u2019s exactly what it says. And if you don\u2019t get some of it in her stommick it\u2019s all gonna be wasted.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, she can\u2019t drink the whole bottle. So, we\u2019ll drink the rest and then it won\u2019t be wasted. And just to make sure she won\u2019t feel any pain there\u2019s another bottle back there if we need it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Little Brother, I like the way you think.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d Joe nodded, helping himself to a swig. \u201cWant some?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot yet, not till after I operate. Well, maybe a little, just to steady my hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Adam came down a little before dawn the next morning, and in the dim light he saw three bodies sprawled on the floor. Hoss was flat on his back, arms out at a 90-degree angle, and he was snoring to wake the dead. The ugly dog\u2014also spread-eagled on its back on the floor\u2014was sound asleep as well, and Joe, curled on his side with his arms wrapped around the dog, wasn\u2019t moving either. Adam shook his head and cleared his throat. No response. He sighed. The dog opened her eyes and thumped her heavily bandaged tail weakly at him, whimpering.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Adam,\u201d Joe yawned. \u201cShe\u2019s doin\u2019 just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cAnd I see you\u2019re as discriminating as ever as to whom you\u2019ll share a bed with.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d slug you for that one except I can\u2019t decide which one of you I want to hit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many do you see?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThree.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo for the one in the middle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLater. My head\u2019s killin\u2019 me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cListen, if I tell you a couple things can you remember them?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo promises.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo the best you can. I have to take care of some other business in town. Don\u2019t forget to muck out the barn.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd listen, Joe, someone\u2019s been trapping on the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

That made Joe\u2019s head come up. \u201cWhat? Where?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSouth section, where I was riding yesterday. I set off three of them. That cur you\u2019re wrapped around was stuck in number four. The traps couldn\u2019t have been there that long; they were iron, and there wasn\u2019t enough rust on \u2019em to have been there more than a week or so. We need to start riding that section daily.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGot it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd get rid of that dog by the time I get home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you are even less fun than Pa when it comes to cute furry things.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust because I wouldn\u2019t let Hoss doctor a sick rat doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t have a feeling for animals,\u201d Adam pronounced. \u201cOkay, I\u2019ll be back tonight. Remember, get rid of that mutt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight, Older Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Well, I do have to go to the bank,<\/em> Adam told himself. Not my fault if I also need to interview that teacher applicant too. And I don\u2019t need any more guff from my brothers about schoolteachers\u2026they\u2019ve never let me rest in peace since Abigail Jones.<\/em><\/p>\n

He was not looking forward to the interview. He normally liked talking to schoolteachers. They seemed to be among the few people he could talk to about subjects he found interesting. But female teachers\u2014including Jones, when she started getting that predatory look, the one that bespoke the fear of spinsterhood\u2014were a passel of trouble. They were either looking for husbands and figuring that teaching would enable them to trap one, or they were no match for some of the bigger, rowdier children. Or they were militant suffragettes. He didn\u2019t mind suffragettes for the most part\u2014he even agreed that a woman doing the same job as a man should get paid the same, and as far as voting, he knew plenty of women with intelligent political views and plenty of men with views based on bigotry and presumption. But most of the suffragettes he had met couldn\u2019t stick to the valid subjects; they had to go into territory where they had no business being\u2014things like birth control and free love. Birth control was a matter for God to figure out, and free love didn\u2019t exist. You either got married and begged for it or you paid for it in a brothel like any other decent fellow.<\/p>\n

Not that he would have argued those subjects with a woman.<\/p>\n

He remembered the letter the applicant had sent in: Mathilde Weston Hoffman, age 27. Twenty-seven and never married\u2026he shuddered, thinking 27 was just the right age when women began to acquire that \u201clean and hungry look\u201d common to encroaching old-maidenhood. He\u2019d already heard an earful from Dave Jordan, another fellow on the school board. \u201cI know you\u2019ll vote your own mind, Adam, but I\u2019m tellin\u2019 you, that woman has some strange notions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLately it seems like all teachers have some notions different from what we\u2019re used to. That\u2019s progress. You know, education. Besides, we need a teacher pretty badly,\u201d Adam had replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re just sayin\u2019 that because we always get you to substitute.\u201d<\/p>\n

Reaching the boarding house, Adam paused outside. Someone was playing the piano. Not a real virtuoso, he reflected, but not bad\u2026and he\u2019d always liked Beethoven\u2019s Andante Favori<\/em>, even though he\u2019d never quite managed to convert it for a guitar. He went inside to greet Mrs. O\u2019Reilly. \u201cOh, Mr. Cartwright, I\u2019m glad you\u2019re here. She was<\/em> in the sitting room just a\u2019waiting for you, pretty as you please, but then she spied my old pianoforte across the hall and forgot all about you. Maybe you should go in?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd interrupt a free concert?\u201d Adam replied with a grin. \u201cI\u2019ll just wait in the sitting room. Maybe she\u2019ll remember eventually.\u201d He made himself comfortable on a settee, thinking he wouldn\u2019t mind if she decided to skip the interview entirely in favor of the concert.<\/p>\n

And she just might<\/em>, he thought a few minutes later as the Andante<\/em> segued into F\u00fcr Elise<\/em>, and then some lilting sonata that he thought might be by Hummel\u2014which stopped in the middle and he clearly heard a feminine voice with a slight southern accent cry out \u201cOh, drat, blast, and tarnation!\u201d Then a rushed clumping of boot-heels and a woman fairly flew into the sitting room, skidding so sharply to a halt on the polished wood floor that she had to grab a chair to keep from falling down.<\/p>\n

The first thing he saw clearly was a pair of wide blue eyes like the summer sky; why, her eyes would even give challenge to Hoss, he thought with an odd detachment, reflecting next that her hair was black as a crow\u2019s wing and even curlier than his own. He stood with grave dignity. \u201cMiss Hoffman, I presume?\u201d<\/p>\n

She had already blushed a couple of shades darker than his father\u2019s chair, and her voice quavered when she replied, \u201cSir\u2026I am so sorry for my tardiness and unladylike comportment.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHave a seat, Miss Hoffman. I’m Adam Cartwright, and if you promise to play any one of Chopin\u2019s waltzes before I leave, I will accept your apology.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright\u2026\u201d her voice trailed off, and she sighed. \u201cAgain, I am so sorry. I was here early for our interview, but I got nervous, and then I saw the piano, and I always lose track of time when I play.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen I hope you don\u2019t get nervous when you teach. I\u2019d hate to have you miss half a day\u2019s schooling because you were serenading yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

She grinned broadly, revealing a slight gap between her top front teeth that again reminded him of Hoss, and it almost made him laugh. Instead, he carried on. \u201cWhy were you nervous? Do I have such a bad reputation? You\u2019ve been here a week; I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve heard the gossip.\u201d<\/p>\n

She waved one hand absent-mindedly. \u201cOh, I heard an earful. How much I believed, that\u2019s another matter. But no sir, I was not nervous so much of you as so much as I was worried because of the way the other two interviews went. Why couldn\u2019t you Board fellows just line yourselves up in front of me like a firing squad, and all shoot at the same time?\u201d<\/p>\n

He couldn\u2019t help smiling. \u201cWe couldn\u2019t all get together at the same time for it. But let me tell you our situation. For several years we had a good teacher. But eventually she married and of course resigned her position.\u201d At that she gave him a quick, rather severe glance, but dropped her eyes again immediately. Puzzled, he went on, \u201cSince then we\u2019ve had a succession of teachers, none lasting a full year; one stayed only a month. One was tied to the flagpole by a couple of the bigger boys. One became an actress. Three got married; two resigned because they couldn\u2019t get married. For a while, the board refused to even interview women for teaching positions\u2014simply because it didn\u2019t seem that we would be able to keep<\/em> any teachers of the female persuasion. And now let me come to the main point.\u201d He grinned. \u201cEvery time we lose a teacher, I\u2019m<\/em> the one called in. So you see I\u2019ve got a vested interest in finding a good teacher who\u2019ll stay.\u201d<\/p>\n

Miss Hoffman pursed her lips. \u201cIt would seem your whole community has such an interest, Mr. Cartwright. But you\u2019re not serving it well. Your colleagues did their best to drive me away. They insisted on asking highly personal questions that had nothing to do with the position for which I applied. Tell me, if you applied for a teaching job, would you be asked if you had any desire to get married? Would you be asked about your appearance at social functions? Would you be asked about the color clothes you wear, or whether or not you frequent saloons?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed. \u201cI will take a chance and say they were concerned because one teacher had been a, um, saloon girl, and sometimes she didn\u2019t seem to be concerned about whether she dressed for a school or a saloon. It\u2019s important to remember that being a teacher\u00a0 is, well, a responsible position, and those who do it should be mindful of the example they set.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have never been a saloon girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m relieved to hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBUT, Mr. Cartwright, if I were a saloon girl, I should expect that to be my business and nobody else\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a na\u00efve expectation. People never mind their own business.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I\u2019m aware of it. But it seems there is something in the Bible about only people without sin casting stones. One of the men who interviewed me smelled like a distillery. What kind of example is he setting? For that matter, if I were to listen to gossip<\/em>, I would hear a great deal about the saloons that YOU frequent. I don\u2019t say I believe it, mind you. But plenty of people do, and what sort of example are you setting?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not married.\u201d Adam replied smoothly. \u201cAnd the rules are a little different for men.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA fine, upstanding man at that,\u201d the girl retorted with another grin. \u201cA prime catch for a lucky girl. Never mind that you have been charged with murder at least three times and twice were nearly executed. That is, of course, if one were to believe the gossip. Never mind the fact that if even half <\/em>of what was said about you is true, you would not even be received in society in my <\/em>home town. And yet here you are on the school board, in the somewhat remarkable position of telling me<\/em> why I may not be fit to teach the children you don\u2019t have.\u201d She tilted her head\u2014funny, the dog he\u2019d found the day before had looked at him just like that, right down to the head tilt. \u201cDon\u2019t you find that even vaguely ironic, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSupremely, but that\u2019s the way things are in Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd because things have always been so, they must continue to be so. By that line of reasoning we should have no locomotives and no one living on Indian land\u2014and by the way, it\u2019s ALL Indian land.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s well enough, Miss Hoffman. But while I enjoy a spirited debate as much as the next person, right now isn\u2019t the time or place. I still have no notion what your qualifications are. Can you teach, or not? I told you, the town needs a teacher. Fall harvest is nearly here and then it\u2019ll be school time. I need a teacher. If you can teach, and teach well\u2014and if you can remain a teacher for a while\u2014we can use you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn that case, Mr. Cartwright, I would make an excellent teacher.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou attended St. Mary of the Woods College, in Indiana. But you\u2019ve held no teaching positions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was a student teacher from the time I got to Terre Haute, Mr. Cartwright, and after my graduation I became the governess to a family with seven children ranging from age 4 to age 13.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you teach?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs a student teacher, I mostly graded assignments and engaged in tutoring. As a governess, I taught French, German, English, European history, mathematics, and music.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy European history?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSpain\u2014where I lived as a governess\u2014is part of Europe, after all. It was appropriate to teach European history.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Miss Hoffman. Now, if you come to teach at this school, you will find more than 25 children ranging in age from 6 to 14. What makes you think you can handle that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know for certain,\u201d came the steady reply. \u201cBut I do aim to try. I think if I can keep them all interested, they\u2019ll be easier to control. And I\u2019ve always been good at teaching in a way that keeps children interested.\u201d<\/p>\n

He remembered the words of Dave then. \u201cWhat particular method do you use that keeps children interested?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAt home I loved hearing my mother\u2019s stories; they made me feel as if I were living through the times myself. When I got to school I was shocked to find out that a lot of people don\u2019t like history, but then they had been taught nothing more than a list of names, dates and places. No stories; nothing about the characters of the people who made history, nothing of the cause and effect. Why, there are children learning right now that the recent War Between the States was begun in 1861 and ended in 1865. And that\u2019s all they learn\u2014just when and where.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust how deeply impacted were you by the war, Miss Hoffman?\u201d Personal feelings about the war still ran deep.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was in Europe from 1859 until two years ago, first simply enjoying my own Grand Tour, and then employed there. If you mean have I ever starved or watched my family die, I haven\u2019t. But my father did lose his business as a result of General Sherman\u2019s visit<\/em> to Savannah, and my brothers and mother all died as a result of the war.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry to hear that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind. My own particular fascination with history, Mr. Cartwright, simply stems from the fact that it is made by people<\/em>. Getting children to understand the relevance of such subjects in their lives is the way to instill a love of learning in them. I want children to want to come to school and to look forward to learning.\u201d<\/p>\n

He grinned. \u201cYou\u2019ll have to go some there, ma\u2019am. I know a lot of those kids. Last year I suggested a history of our own state, seeing as how we\u2019d just become one. I had to fight pretty hard to get the curriculum accepted, and then a lot of kids just weren\u2019t interested at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you didn\u2019t teach it the right way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you\u2019re convinced you could?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would like the chance to try.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you should have it,\u201d Adam said, \u201cIf only to get myself off the hook. I\u2019ll talk to the other fellows.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Mr. Cartwright\u2014I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll find them at the Bucket of Blood, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d Adam said cheerfully. \u201cI\u2019d offer to have you accompany me, but you\u2019re not a saloon girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe if the teaching job doesn\u2019t work out, I\u2019ll become one, and then I\u2019m sure the gentlemen on the school board would be very pleased.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cProbably\u2014but you\u2019d still owe me a Chopin waltz,\u201d Adam chuckled, bowed to the girl, and left.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

It was dark by the time he got home, and the lamps were all burning downstairs when he walked in\u2014and there was the dog, sitting right by the front door, thumping her short tail anxiously. When he looked at her, she stood and stretched her front paws toward him, lowering the front of her body in a bowing position. And that was when he realized she was wearing two pairs of Joe\u2019s baby booties. She approached him with her head turned a little, and stopped to turn two quick full circles before coming up to him. \u201cMove,\u201d he said curtly, and walked past her.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss! Joe! What in blazes is this dog still doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, don\u2019t get mad at me, Older Brother,\u201d Joe replied as he came from the fireplace. \u201cI remembered everything, but Hoss said he\u2019d pound me into the floor if I sent the dog away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHOSS!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss came in from the kitchen. \u201cCalm down, Adam, Hop Sing\u2019s already in a state on account of me forgettin\u2019 to wipe my feet. You keep up that bellerin\u2019 and he\u2019ll be lookin\u2019 at boat schedules for China.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI gave express orders for this dog to be out of here by the time I came back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, yeah, Joe told me that, Adam, but I didn\u2019t do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can see you didn\u2019t do it. Why not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI told you last night, that dog\u2019s hurt. She\u2019s got a cracked rib and her paws is all torn up, besides the tail gettin\u2019 half cut off. She ain\u2019t in no fit condition to be turned loose and I ain\u2019t gonna do it. Besides, Adam, we oughtta keep her. She\u2019s the smartest dog I ever seen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Adam, you gotta hear this,\u201d Joe put in. \u201cShe\u2019s incredible. You know she knows the difference between indoors and outdoors?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean she goes outside to\u2026go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly. Not a single accident; she didn\u2019t even have to be told. She went to the door and told US that she needed to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve heard of that before,\u201d Adam said. \u201cIt\u2019s not that impressive.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s more than Cousin Muley\u2019s dogs knew,\u201d Joe muttered.<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cShe\u2019s not staying in the house anyway, so what difference does it make?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not the only way she\u2019s smart, Adam,\u201d Joe insisted. \u201cShe helped Hop Sing get breakfast AND dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, this is the good part,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cShe carried around the bucket with Hop Sing this mornin\u2019 when he went to collect the eggs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat. Now she\u2019ll start stealing our eggs. Nothing worse than an egg-suckin\u2019 dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head. \u201cShe didn\u2019t even try once. Hop Sing said he gave her the bucket and she just followed him everywhere. But the best part\u2014she went out at noon with Hop Sing and rounded up the chickens! I wouldn\u2019t have believed it if I hadn\u2019t seen it. She trotted around \u2019em and moved \u2019em over to Hop Sing the way we\u2019d move a herd of cattle. And then, when Hop Sing told her which chicken he wanted, she went right into the middle of the flock and cut that one chicken out. And that was how we got this roast chicken!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam strode past them into the kitchen, bellowing, \u201cHop Sing!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo shout in kitchen!\u201d came the retort as Hop Sing lifted a large pot off the stove. \u201cWhat you want?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you doin\u2019 with this dog?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMake work! Mr. Cartlight say everybody in Ponderosa pulls own weight. So put dog to work.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou just taught the dog to suck eggs and kill chickens!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFau,\u201d Hop Sing exclaimed in disgust. \u201cBoys know nothing of dogs. In China dogs work. Only Imperial Family keep dogs to play. Dogs with round heads play. Dogs with wolf heads work. This dog has wolf head, good to guard flock of sheep or watch baby. Fetch tools. Bring other animals to house. Dog knows how to do, lives in head. Hop Sing only tell; she understand. Not eat eggs or chicken. Eat food we give. Work to earn food.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam wasn\u2019t sure he\u2019d understood everything he\u2019d heard, but at least Hop Sing knew what he was doing\u2026only it still didn\u2019t make him comfortable. \u201cWell,\u201d he told his brothers, \u201cI guess she can stay \u2019til she\u2019s healed. As long as she works and earns her board. And, no more staying inside. You know Pa will go apoplectic if he comes home and finds a dog in the house.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Adam,\u201d Hoss replied. \u201cJust as soon as she\u2019s fit to go outside, I\u2019ll put her out. But not before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf the dog is fit to go herd chickens, she\u2019s fit enough to stay outside!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, she ain\u2019t. It\u2019s one thing to go out for a few minutes. It\u2019s another entirely for her to have to stay out all day in the heat and have to walk on those sore feet of hers. Adam, I think she musta walked a hundred miles just to get here. I\u2019ve been keepin\u2019 a salve on \u2019em, and Joe volunteered some shoes for her, but she\u2019ll end up crippled if we make her run on those feet the way they are.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, brother,\u201d Joe put in, \u201cYou have no appreciation for intelligence. And none for loyalty. That dog spent most of the day when she wasn\u2019t working just sitting or lying by the door, waiting for you to come back. She was friendly with Hop Sing and me, and she did what we told her to do, and when Hoss came home she was glad to see him. But you\u2019re the one she was waiting for. And ever since you came in she\u2019s followed you everywhere you went, didn\u2019t you see? She tailed you into the kitchen and back and over to the sideboard when you took your gunbelt off, and now you\u2019re about to sit down and she\u2019s still right behind you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam turned and looked and sure enough, there was the dog. \u201cGet,\u201d he said firmly, pointing to the door. She limped back to the door and sat down, looking at him with her head tilted.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are one cold-hearted\u2014\u201d Joe began, but Adam cut him off.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat dog has no business on this property. It has no business in this house. But I let you bring it in and doctor it, and now you\u2019re carrying on because I\u2019m not in love with it too. Let me tell you something we were brought up on, Little Brother\u2014dogs do not belong in houses, even if they know how to do tricks. And don\u2019t bother getting attached to it either. When she\u2019s well, she leaves. That\u2019s it. Understood?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re wrong this time, Adam,\u201d Hoss said gravely. \u201cDead wrong. That dog is a real little lady with more quality than a lot of the people<\/em> we\u2019ve had in this house.\u201d He lumbered away and up the stairs, shoulders slumped.<\/p>\n

Little Joe turned and stomped outside himself, muttering in disgust, but the dog made no move to follow; she was still looking at Adam.<\/p>\n

Chapter 2<\/strong><\/p>\n

For the better part of the week, when she wasn\u2019t working, the dog stayed inside, and whenever Adam came downstairs in the morning she greeted him with a bow and a couple of circles, but he ignored her\u2014or at least he tried. Now that she was clean, he could see what Hoss had meant; her long fur was mostly a silver-gray color with occasional patches of solid black, but her face and the tops of her hind legs were light brown. Her front legs were white all the way up, while the back legs were white up to her hocks. She had an enormous white ruff on her chest like a lion\u2019s mane, but a small brown, triangular-shaped head with hardly any fur at all, except on her ears. Her ears were triangular too, and brown, with wispy gray and black clouds of fur around them, and the ear tips tipped in front like the tulips one saw back East. And straight down the middle of her face, where most horses would have a blaze or a star, this dog had mottled gray and black spots and streaks, giving her face something of a clownish appearance. But her eyes\u2014almond-shaped, ice blue\u2014were intelligent and inquisitive, if disconcerting, and she never looked away from him. It was unsettling. Hop Sing, Joe, and Hoss told him the same thing every day: that while she was friendly with them, and did exactly as they told her, she waited for him each day, right at the door, until he came home. His ignoring her did nothing to cure her affection. She followed him everywhere he allowed, and when he didn\u2019t allow, then she would sit by his chair and wait for him to come back.<\/p>\n

Curiosity got the better of him after a time, though, especially when Joe and Hoss excitedly informed him that Lady, as they had dubbed her, was no longer simply carrying the bucket for Hop Sing\u2019s egg collections\u2014she was actually helping with the collections. Hop Sing gave her the bucket each morning and she went out to the yard with him, but because some of the chickens tried to hide their eggs, Hop Sing could not find them all. At this point Lady would sniff out the hidden eggs, pick them up and carry them to Hop Sing. When all the eggs were collected, she brought the bucket in. After two weeks, she had yet to break or try to suck a single egg.<\/p>\n

On the days that Hop Sing prepared a chicken for their dinner, Lady would help to get the chicken. Gone were the days when Hop Sing had to creep around or send Hoss galumphing after one. He boldly walked outside while Lady gathered the flock and brought them toward him, and when he pointed to the fowl of his choice, Lady unerringly knew what he meant. The doomed chicken was \u201ccut from the herd\u201d with no panic on the part of the flock, and was \u201cescorted\u201d to Hop Sing, who grabbed it. After her work was done, Lady showed no further interest in the chickens, eventually ending Adam\u2019s worry that she was plotting a way to carry a few off for her own use. Hop Sing gave her table scraps to eat, and Adam had to admit she didn\u2019t eat enough to make the hogs go hungry.<\/p>\n

And when they returned from church on Sundays, Lady met them at the door. The first time, Adam was surprised enough that the house was intact and the floors clean, but Lady\u2019s delight at their return was overwhelming: she bowed, she danced in circles, she even barked. In complete surprise, he dropped his hand to the top of her head, and she leaned into it, licking it enthusiastically until he told her to stop. At one point she even took his hand lightly with her mouth, never biting, just holding, which Hoss told him was a sign of affection.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd is it real love if I bring my arm back and my hand\u2019s not there?\u201d Adam replied with a grin, but Hoss\u2019s reply was serious. \u201cAdam, you must be blinder\u2019n a bat. That dog just plain worships you. She likes the rest of us, but it\u2019s you she loves. Maybe it\u2019s because you got her out of the trap, or maybe you did her some other kindness you don\u2019t even know about. But whether you like her or not, she loves you. You might as well get used to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Being the object of total adoration was both flattering and uncomfortable, Adam discovered as another week passed. Lady grew increasingly helpful to Hop Sing in sort of a pack-mule capacity; he made a saddle-bag contraption out of two woven baskets, and she carried the baskets on her back while he picked vegetables from his garden to fill them. Hoss and Joe even taught the dog a game. While she was standing with Hoss, Hoss would say \u201cgo get Joe!\u201d and Lady would run to Joe, barking. Then Joe would tell her to go get Hoss and the performance would be repeated. They thought it was funny as well as more proof of how smart she was, although Adam thought it was a damnfool silly waste of time.<\/p>\n

One Sunday when the Cartwrights attended church, Miss Mathilde Hoffman, newly hired schoolmarm of Virginia City, was there. Despite the sniggering of his brothers when they found out she was the new schoolteacher, Adam invited her to have dinner with them at the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

\u201cWon\u2019t that cause gossip, Mr. Cartwright?\u201d she asked with a twinkle in her blue eyes, and he likewise grinned.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Miss Hoffman, you never believe gossip, do you? And here\u2019s your chance to see if the gossip is really true about my brothers and me. Besides, I seem to recall leaving a lively debate only half-finished.\u201d<\/p>\n

With that she accompanied them home in the carriage, and it was only when they walked into the house that Adam remembered the dog\u2014who suddenly seemed twice her normal size as her fur stood on end and she barked at the newcomer.<\/p>\n

\u201cLady, stop that!\u201d Hoss yelled, but for once the dog disregarded him.<\/p>\n

\u201cDog!\u201d Adam shouted. \u201cQuiet!\u201d At once Lady was silent, but she continued to keep her concerned eyes on Miss Hoffman, staring suspiciously and occasionally emitting a soft but indignant \u201cwoof!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s new,\u201d Joe explained as Hoffman removed her cloak.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to water the horses,\u201d Adam muttered. \u201cDog! Come along.\u201d Lady instantly followed him.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s unusual,\u201d Hoffman said as the door shut.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that, ma\u2019am?\u201d Joe asked. \u201cThat darn mutt loves Adam, so there\u2019s nothing unusual about her being obedient with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s not a mutt. That\u2019s why I\u2019m surprised\u2014I\u2019ve never seen a Scotch collie this far west. There are only a few of them in the East, for that matter. But I\u2019m sure it\u2019s a collie, even though the tail is all wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s called a collie?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, they\u2019re used by shepherds to guard and herd sheep.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss exchanged a meaningful glance; apparently Hop Sing was a pretty smart fellow.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere were a few in Savannah before the War; my uncle Weston had notions of breeding them and getting rich at one point. I could tell you stories about my uncle\u2019s moneymaking schemes that would make your hair fall out.\u201d<\/p>\n

By the time dinner was ready, Lady had reconciled herself to Miss Hoffman\u2019s presence and had decided to become friendly with her. Adam, however, found himself deep in another debate with the girl, this one about women in politics. It seemed a lady named Victoria Woodhull back East was running a newspaper and making noises about running for president, even though she didn\u2019t have the right to vote. Hoss and Joe found all this fascinating and began jumping into the argument,\u00a0 but\u00a0 Miss Hoffman, far from being unsettled by being outnumbered, gave back as good as she got and even displayed a rather wicked sense of humor that embarrassed the brothers into conceding points they might otherwise have won. When Adam finally called her on it, she shrugged. \u201cI had two brothers at home; I\u2019m used to being in the minority\u2014and fighting dirty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have two brothers? Where are they now?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI had<\/em> two brothers, Hoss,\u201d she replied gently. \u201cThe first was killed by a Yankee bayonet at Gettysburg. The second got typhoid not long after General Sherman paid his visit to Savannah. I don\u2019t know exactly when.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were in the South during the war?\u201d Joe asked with considerable interest.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo; I was in Europe until \u201966. My father had let me go over with another family in \u201959. My last stop was to have been Spain, but I was offered a job there as governess. When war broke out two years later I wrote my father of my intentions to come home at once, but he immediately wrote back to the effect that under no circumstances should I try. Not long after he got the letter out, all the Southern ports were blockaded anyway, so there was no way I could get home. I suppose he saved my life, but I\u2019ll never forgive him all the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut why on earth would you feel that way about it?\u201d Joe persisted.<\/p>\n

She shook her head. \u201cI was the oldest, Joe. I had always promised to take care of my brothers. And I broke that promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

At that, Adam became very quiet, and soon after, he asked Hoss to take Miss Hoffman back to town.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

The next day Hoss took off Lady\u2019s booties for good, and she licked each paw until the white fur glowed and the pink-and-black footpads were shiny. When she finished, Adam, who had been watching, stood up and went to the door. He turned to call her and found she was already at his side.<\/p>\n

He opened the door. \u201cOkay, dog, you\u2019re on your own.\u201d Lady looked up at him for some time, looked back at the door, and finally walked through it, where on the porch, she turned and looked steadily at him again. \u201cGo away\u2014go home,\u201d Adam ordered, pointing, and then he shut the door while Joe and Hoss both looked daggers at him.<\/p>\n

Suddenly Hop Sing was in the room shouting, \u201cWhere dog? Have work for her!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAsk Adam,\u201d Joe said venomously. He got up and went outside, slamming the door for good measure.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing looked at Adam. \u201cYou send Hop Sing helper away?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you mean that dog, I did.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing threw his hands up. \u201cNo respect. There, I quit.\u201d He took off his apron and threw it down. \u201cTell Mr. Cartlight I sorry but no can stay in this house.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing this, Hop Sing that. Hop Sing make food. Hop Sing clean house. Hop Sing feed cowboy in bunkhouse. Hop Sing make medicine for injure. Little Joe go for cows. Too many cows, only one Joe. Joe say need help\u2014help come. Hoss goes to dig hole. Hole too big, Hoss say need help\u2014help come. Adam ride to town, meet bandit, say need help and help come. Hop Sing feed everybody, bathe everybody, clean house, no complain, no never get help. Ask for Hoss, he complain, ask for Joe, Joe complain! Help come in shape of dog. Hop Sing happy, Hop Sing take any help can get, and dog no complain! She do work good, she help Hop Sing, but you not care because not you who need help! Maybe someday Adam need help and help not come. You should live in interesting time, but Hop Sing not be there. I quit!\u201d<\/p>\n

He spun on his heel and stamped away, a stream of Cantonese issuing behind him.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine,\u201d Adam shouted, a shout that was heard all over the Ponderosa. \u201cKeep the damn dog. But she stays in the barn from now on!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss grabbed his hat just as Joe came back inside for his gunbelt. \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Joe, we get to keep her. I\u2019ll put her in the barn, Adam, right this minute I\u2019ll put her there. Reckon I\u2019ll stay there a while myself, too.\u201d He all but ran outside.<\/p>\n

Adam sputtered. \u201cI can\u2019t see what is so strange about\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are one cold-hearted jackass who\u2019d sell his own mother to the Shoshone,\u201d Joe muttered. He thought he said it under his breath, but Adam heard it like a call to battle, and the next minute a roundhouse punch knocked Joe flying. Joe came up pounding, and the fight continued until their wild jumps and swings and crashing pileups knocked over a stack of Ben\u2019s ledgers.<\/p>\n

As the two sullenly picked up the books and furniture, Adam said, \u201cI don\u2019t see what you two are so upset about! I said she can stay\u2014just not in the house. What\u2019s wrong with that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSilly me,\u201d Joe muttered. \u201cYou know, you and Hoss used to kid me about not havin\u2019 any chest hair. Hoss at least outgrew it. But you know what, Older Brother? Maybe I\u2019ll never grow a single hair, but at least I\u2019ve got a heart inside my<\/em> chest. And I\u2019d rather stay slick as a baby\u2019s butt than grow the first hair if it means getting hollow inside like you.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

For two days the Ponderosa could have been called Fort Frigid. Hoss and Joe greeted Adam each day with the coldest shoulder since cave men crept out from under the Ice Age. Communication between them was terse and businesslike. Adam, of course, was not one to back down from a point. But this time the compliant Hoss and impulsive Joe weren\u2019t going to back down either.<\/p>\n

Lady tried to be a peacemaker. Knowing something was wrong, she circled among them, licking and grabbing their hands, occasionally doing her circular dance, hoping to make them happy. Adam did his best to ignore her\u2014and it was getting harder to do, even though she spent her nights in the barn and her days with Hop Sing, Hoss, and Joe. Adam wondered what they used her for but never got a chance to ask, as everyone avoided him. Hoss ensconced himself in the barn with Lady and only came in the house for meals. Joe stayed gone as much as he could, and when he was around, the looks he shot from under his too-long forelock would have burned the Ponderosa brand onto Adam\u2019s backside, and probably earned Joe a punch in the jaw, had Adam deigned to notice.<\/p>\n

On the third day, grumbling curses and other rude things behind his hat, Adam crossed to the barn. He still had a bad feeling about that south pasture. He had confiscated all those traps a month ago, and no one had been around to set any more or to retaliate. In the old days of the Ponderosa when they had first acquired the land, there were people who had decided the land was too big for one family to effectively guard, and had made their home hither and yon, setting their traps, even building lean-tos on Ponderosa land, secure in their \u201cknowledge\u201d that the Cartwrights could not possibly protect it. But they had, just by careful patrolling, and over the years they had even purchased and traded for adjacent land, adding more acreage to their home each year until they had stabilized a few years ago with almost a thousand square miles to call their own. But recently someone had set at least four traps near a fence line that was well within the Ponderosa\u2019s bounds. It only stood to reason that at some point they\u2019d come back and find their traps gone, and they would know the next move was theirs to make.<\/p>\n

The ugly dog bounded to his side as soon as he opened the barn door. Absent-mindedly Adam put his hand on her head for a minute before going to get his saddle and blanket. Hoss was in the next stall, just finishing currying Chubb.<\/p>\n

\u201cGoin\u2019 out to the south pasture,\u201d Adam announced.<\/p>\n

Hoss grunted.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about comin\u2019 with me? I have a feeling today might be the day.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss considered. \u201cWhat about Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about him? He\u2019s got work to do out at the saw mill. Besides, I asked you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Eyebrows ready for battle, Hoss muttered, \u201cIf you\u2019re askin\u2019 me in Pa\u2019s place with his authority, I\u2019ll go with you, Adam. If you\u2019re askin\u2019 me because you\u2019re my brother and you figure you need my help, I\u2019ll go. But if you\u2019re askin\u2019 as a friend \u2019cause you\u2019d like the company, then I just as soon not.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam threw the saddle across Beauty. \u201cWhat does all that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt means you don\u2019t get to pick your family. You\u2019re my elder, Adam, and I respect you; you\u2019re my brother, and I love you, but right now I just can\u2019t muster much of a likin\u2019 for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd all this because of a dog,\u201d Adam returned, hauling on the cinch. \u201cYeah, I\u2019m sayin\u2019 the dog can\u2019t stay in the house any more. That\u2019s not my rule, it\u2019s Pa\u2019s, and it\u2019s been that way since before you were born. Besides, it\u2019s gotta belong to somebody. The dog\u2019s never going to go home if you don\u2019t make it leave. Is that cruelty, to want the dog to go to its own family? Doesn\u2019t seem that way to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not gonna argue with you,\u201d Hoss said quietly. \u201cAin\u2019t no use. You\u2019re too smart to argue with and too stubborn to change yer mind anyway. But just because you\u2019re smart and stubborn doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re right. And I don\u2019t think you\u2019re as smart as that collie dog, either.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCollie? What\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what the schoolteacher said. It\u2019s a collie. But it don\u2019t matter to me what she is; she\u2019s smart and helpful and belongs right here with people she loves. You don\u2019t want to keep her, fine. Joe and me\u2019ll keep her. You\u2019ve accepted every mangy useless mutt I ever brought home before; you even liked some of them. I don\u2019t know what you don\u2019t like about Lady unless it\u2019s just that you can\u2019t stand to think of an animal and choosin\u2019 you. Maybe if you just think of her as another one of my strays, and let me have her, everything\u2019ll be fine. But don\u2019t ask me to hang around with you when you\u2019re trying to get rid of my dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStay here, then; I don\u2019t care.\u201d Adam swung up on Beauty. Then he grinned perversely. \u201cBut as you\u2019ve so often told me, it\u2019s MY dog. Hey dog, come with me. Maybe you\u2019ll find your real owner.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lady instantly bounded to Beauty\u2019s side and looked up at Adam. \u201cLet\u2019s go check the fence,\u201d Adam said, and nudged Beauty with his heels. Beauty walked out of the barn and then went into a steady lope, and Lady tore off behind, leaving Hoss scowling fiercely behind them.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

They were far past the woods where the traps had been found when Lady suddenly bristled and began to growl. \u201cSit!\u201d Adam commanded, and she did, but she continued growling.<\/p>\n

The kid with the rifle didn\u2019t look more than 16, which made Adam hesitate. \u201cDrop it,\u201d he warned instead of shooting. The kid thought about it for a minute and finally complied. \u201cYou know you\u2019re on Ponderosa land?\u201d Adam called out.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s Ponderosa<\/em>? Do I know him?\u201d came the insolent reply.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re standing on it,\u201d Adam said. \u201cAnd I\u2019d advise you not to be. Are you the one who put the traps on my property?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope. Them\u2019re my pa\u2019s and uncle\u2019s traps; now thanks a lot for tellin\u2019 me who stole \u2019em. What\u2019s your name, buddy? My pa\u2019ll want to know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell your pa my name is Adam Cartwright. This land has been held in deed to the Cartwrights for almost 20 years. You can also tell him that he, and your uncle, and you, have no business on this property. Didn\u2019t you see that strand of trees a couple miles back of you? They\u2019re posted, boy. The markers for our land start back there, so you need to turn around and walk back there, and don\u2019t come in here this way again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ain\u2019t very friendly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot to people who come in and set traps on my land I\u2019m not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI gotta eat too, ya know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot here you don\u2019t. The kind of traps you\u2019re using will hurt a man or kill a horse. I\u2019m telling you, and this is as polite as I\u2019m gonna get. Next time I see you on this property, you\u2019re gettin\u2019 a one-way ride to the jail, and if I have to put a few holes in you first, I\u2019m not above doin\u2019 it.\u201d<\/p>\n

The boy looked away from him to the dog. \u201cWouldn\u2019t mind havin\u2019 that in one o\u2019 my traps. Pelt like that oughtta bring some real money. Does it like people?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah,\u201d Adam said with an evil grin. \u201cYeah, she likes people\u2014in fact, she prefers people, but mostly we feed her table scraps!\u201d He turned quietly to the dog and said, \u201cGo get him!\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a chance he was taking, but Lady charged toward the boy, jumping right through the wire and barking to wake the dead. The boy left his rifle where it was and fled. Lady chased him just long enough to really panic the kid, then turned at Adam\u2019s call and sauntered back, waving her stumpy tail in pride. There was something about the way she held her head, or the twinkle in her eyes, or maybe it was just the stubby tail waving crazily, that made him laugh out loud. The dog was<\/em> smart\u2014and she had a sense of humor too. Why had no one ever told him that dogs could play jokes just like people? He jumped down from Beauty to give the dog a well-deserved pat, as well as half his ham sandwich. \u201cYou were laughing, weren\u2019t you?\u201d he asked, and felt silly as he did so\u2026imagine, Adam Cartwright talking to a dog. He chuckled at the thought, and Lady sat down and looked intently at him. \u201cMy Lord, I think you are<\/em> laughing right now,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd you know, once a fella gets used to you, you\u2019re not all that ugly either.\u201d<\/p>\n

A cow grazing near the fence had stuck her head through the wire, something Adam never liked. He pointed at the cow, and said \u201cYou\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

That was as far as he got. Lady ran up to the cow and barked once; a short, sharp command. The cow pulled her head back from the fence and shook her short horns at the dog. Lady dodged behind and nipped both its hind legs in quick succession, and when the cow aimed a kick, she wasn\u2019t there anymore. She circled, barking again, and the cow moved resentfully away. Adam took his hat off to look in puzzlement at the dog. Lady looked back at him, as if desiring further instruction, and Adam decided he had nothing to lose. Hat in his hand, he pointed to the west, where a small clump of cattle had gathered. \u201cTake her over there,\u201d he said. She looked from the cow to the group of cattle, then to the fence, and back at him. Adam pointed again, waving his hat. Lady turned and ran the other way.<\/p>\n

Okay, maybe she wasn\u2019t that smart. He replaced his hat. \u201cIt\u2019s not difficult,\u201d he said, and pointed. Instantly, Lady rounded behind the cow again and nipped its legs, barking twice. The cow trotted back toward the others, and Adam scratched his ear, wondering what he\u2019d done differently to get the dog to understand. Maybe she didn\u2019t like hats. At any rate, she was a smart dog, he reflected as she trotted up to him again.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Lady,\u201d he said, scratching the fuzzy base of her ears. \u201cLet\u2019s go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

They arrived in high spirits, with Lady dancing in circles around Beauty as he loped along. When Adam dismounted just outside the barn, Lady reared on her hind legs, putting her front paws on Adam\u2019s chest and trying to lick his neck\u2014apparently she still hadn\u2019t recovered from his earlier display of affection.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet off me, you fur ball,\u201d he muttered, tousling the furry cloud of her tulip ears. \u201cNext thing you know, Joe and Hoss will think I like you, and there\u2019ll be real trouble. And\u2014\u201d he took her face in his hands and scratched her jaw\u2014\u201cyou still have to sleep in the barn. Sorry, it\u2019s Pa\u2019s rule, not mine. Wait\u2019ll you meet him. If you\u2019re as charming with him as you are with everyone else you\u2019ll probably be sleeping in his bed within a week.\u201d He grabbed her paws and waltzed her about, and she nibbled his hand, making a growling noise that came out sounding like a fog horn.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe came upon him dancing around the yard with Lady, and although he stopped immediately, and tried to shoo the dog away, it was no use; they both saw him and worse, insisted on getting into the act as well, Joe grabbing Adam for a quick hug, and Hoss clapping him on the back. \u201cBut she still sleeps in the barn!\u201d Adam yelled\u2014for all the good it did.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

\u201cCain\u2019t figure out what that kid was doing there,\u201d Hoss mumbled around his steak that night. Lady was under the table, quietly grabbing the bits of meat she was sneaked by the three men, each thinking the others didn\u2019t know what he was doing.<\/p>\n

\u201cObvious, isn\u2019t it?\u201d Joe replied. \u201cHis family\u2019s trying to make some money trapping on our land. I might not even mind if they\u2019d asked permission, and put the traps in a bad area. We don\u2019t need the money for a wolf pelt. But putting them right near our pasture, and close to a trail we use all the time, there\u2019s no sense to that, and we\u2019re the ones standing to get hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe they\u2019re trying to get our attention for some reason,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n

\u201cOr maybe, there\u2019s something there that we\u2019re supposed to keep away from.\u201d Adam had finished his steak by now, and had decided to perform an experiment. He slipped Lady a green bean. She accepted that and wolfed it down too. That was fine by Adam; green beans had never been his favorite.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat would they want us to keep away from?\u201d Hoss countered. \u201cThat don\u2019t make no sense, Adam. It\u2019s our land, even past that fence. They can\u2019t keep us away from a part of our own land, now, can they?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. Maybe it\u2019s a crazy idea, but none of our other ideas have been really bright either.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think we should just take a bunch of the hands, ride over to the south section and comb the whole woods till we find \u2019em and drive \u2019em off,\u201d Joe said categorically. \u201cOtherwise all the other squatters, poachers and outright thieves will think we\u2019re soft and move in on us like locusts. Lord knows it\u2019s happened before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno,\u201d Adam smiled. \u201cI think Lady might have done that for us already. You should\u2019ve seen that kid\u2019s face as he turned tail. I don\u2019t think he\u2019ll be back here for a while, not with this vicious beast patrolling the land.\u201d He rubbed her forehead right between her eyes with his thumb; she groaned audibly, a strange sound that started like a growl and ended like a whimper.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think those two wanna be alone,\u201d Joe muttered. Then he grinned. \u201cHey, does she have a sister?\u201d<\/p>\n

That remark, uttered in jest, brought a bleak response from Adam. \u201cI\u2019m really starting to wonder. I thought when I found her that she was just another flea-covered stray. But, well, we\u2019ve all seen how smart she is\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you haven\u2019t seen half of it,\u201d Joe started, but Hoss hushed him and Adam went on as if he hadn\u2019t heard: \u201cAnd since Miss Hoffman says she\u2019s not a mutt, she might really belong to someone\u2014she might even be valuable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMust be someone didn\u2019t care much about her,\u201d Hoss said with uncharacteristic anger. \u201cShe was<\/em> covered in fleas\u2014and ticks\u2014and half-starved with her paws all torn and a rib broke. There\u2019s no railroad nearby and no stage line closer than Virginia City. If she\u2019s valuable, where\u2019d she come from, how\u2019d she get here, and why ain\u2019t come anyone looking for her in the whole month we\u2019ve had her? I\u2019m tellin\u2019 you Adam, even if somebody did care, she<\/em> don\u2019t. Do you see her tryin\u2019 to leave, to look for her master? She thinks you\u2019re her master, and me and Joe and Hop Sing, she thinks we\u2019re part of her pack.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cArrrrrrrooooooooooooo!\u201d Joe howled, hoping to lighten Hoss\u2019s dark mood a little. Hoss grinned at him briefly and turned back to Adam. \u201cThat dog\u2019s ours, Adam. We all think so, but more important, she<\/em> thinks so.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed and shook his head. \u201cYou said Miss Hoffman called her a collie. I\u2019m going into town tomorrow; I\u2019ll see if I can find out if any collies have been reported missing, or if any were advertised in the paper. I hate to admit it, but I\u2019ve taken a liking to the big hairball, and I want to keep her legally.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWoo!\u201d Joe exclaimed. \u201cI want to see what Pa says when he gets home and finds a dog in the house!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe won\u2019t find her in the house!\u201d Adam retorted. \u201cYou think I want to get us all killed? We\u2019ve got between six to eight weeks before he gets home from Leavenworth. He told them he\u2019d go testify, but he also said he had to be back here before Christmas, and knowing Pa, the army hasn\u2019t got a chance. When it gets closer to time for him to arrive, Lady moves out to the barn again.\u201d At his brothers\u2019 crestfallen looks he rolled his eyes. \u201cCome on, fellas, it\u2019s still his house!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you designed it, and you helped build it,\u201d Joe reminded him. \u201cDoesn\u2019t that make it part yours?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded. \u201cAnd Pa said you were running the place while he was gone; doesn\u2019t that mean you could make some of the rules?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed. \u201cWe still don\u2019t know if she\u2019s staying or not. Don\u2019t count your chickens before they hatch.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chapter 3<\/strong><\/p>\n

The next morning Adam rode into Virginia City. On Monday school would start, and he wanted to look at Miss Hoffman\u2019s lesson plans\u2014and maybe find out more about collies. As he rode it occurred to him that she didn\u2019t know he wanted to see her and might not even be there. Well, he had other things to do\u2014he needed to talk to Roy Coffee\u2014but the thought that she might have gone off somewhere was, for some unknown reason, disappointing.<\/p>\n

He saw Roy before he got to the boarding house, though, and with a wave, he swung off Beauty, looped the reins carelessly over the rail and clumped up to meet the sheriff.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I don\u2019t reckon I\u2019ve seen you in nigh on to a coon\u2019s age. Where\u2019ve you been?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I stay pretty busy,\u201d Adam assured him, providing a hand for the expected shake. \u201cPa left all the boring stuff for me to take care of while he\u2019s off to Leavenworth.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBeen gone a good while, ain\u2019t he? Does he even know when he\u2019ll be called up?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot really, but a court martial this big, he didn\u2019t want to miss any of it. It\u2019ll be at least six weeks. He cables every so often, so we\u2019ll know he hasn\u2019t been carried off by bears. But the trial will last at least another month, and even with the railroad to take him part way, it\u2019ll still take him maybe three weeks or more to get back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRailroad\u2026that reminds me!\u201d Roy exclaimed. \u201cI knowed I forgot somethin\u2019 important to tell ya last time you were in town.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what\u2019s that? Don\u2019t tell me the Indians are blowing up track again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that\u2019s what we thought it was, only it weren\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome in and set a spell,\u201d Roy told him with a grin. \u201cI need to be relaxin\u2019 my brain for this one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Inside, Roy cleared a stack of paper off a chair so Adam could sit down. \u201cI ortta deputize you again, just fer a day, Adam. I need somebody to take care of all this paperwork and filin\u2019 and Clem\u2019s just plumb useless for that. Come to think of it, he\u2019s plumb useless for lotsa stuff. What was I gonna tell you\u2014oh, the railroad. You know that spur they\u2019ve been workin\u2019 up north?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Virginia and Truckee?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNaw, Adam, they ain\u2019t broke ground on that yet, and it\u2019s gonna be south of town anyway. I\u2019m talkin\u2019 about up to the Sierra Nevada.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShoot, that\u2019s another whole state. Why would I be worrying about the railroad over there? You know what Pa says\u2014we\u2019ve got enough problems takin\u2019 care of the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, yeah, but this is kind of important.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, I\u2019m listening.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, a train derailed up there, guess it was six weeks ago. It was carryin\u2019 mostly livestock\u2014cows and sheep\u2014and was gonna drop \u2019em at the end of the line, over to Lake\u2019s Crossing\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean Reno,\u201d Adam interrupted with a grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t confuse me, boy. Next thing you know that little cow pasture near the old Mormon fort\u2019s gonna get a couple of people livin\u2019 there and then they won\u2019t call it Las Vegas no more either. How\u2019s a man to keep up?\u201d<\/p>\n

A chuckle. \u201cYou\u2019re doing fine, Roy. You were telling me about a livestock train headed for Reno.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, yeah, but it never made it that far. Whole thing went off the tracks.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam whistled. \u201cThat was hard luck for the farmers expecting the stock. And how many people were killed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, there were ten fellas on the train, but it was even worse\u2019n that.\u201d Roy cocked his head and frowned. \u201cThat train was also carryin\u2019 mail\u2014with money. There was a little cash box with wages for the railroad workers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow much?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAround $25,000. Not that much, not to a big railroad company like the Central Pacific, but it meant a lot to all those poor Chinese and Irish fellers workin\u2019 on layin\u2019 track. That\u2019s several months\u2019 pay for all them people. The thing is, nobody realized at first that the money was gone. The train went right off Luther Pass, so you can imagine there was a pretty big mess there to clean up, and it took a couple days for anybody to even ask about the money. And they still haven\u2019t found it, not the box or the money. They first thought maybe it was ice that caused the train to derail, but now they\u2019re wonderin\u2019 if somebody planned it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot for only $25,000.\u201d Adam shook his head. \u201cThat\u2019s a hanging offense, and a huge crime to plan.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you know as well as I do there are men right here in town that\u2019ll kill a man for $25, let alone $25,000. And I seem to recall you gettin\u2019 robbed once and you only had $5,000.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stiffened. Even now, talking about the East Gate experience and its torturous aftermath was impossible for him. \u201cI s\u2019pose so,\u201d he said lamely.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that\u2019s neither here nor there. Thing is, they still haven\u2019t recovered the money, or repaired the tracks, don\u2019t even know who to look for in fact. Pretty excitin\u2019 news, eh? You think they\u2019ll send some Pinkertons out to do a little detective work?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope not,\u201d Adam said with a grin. \u201cLast one I met was a lout. Well, thanks for that news, Roy. If I see somebody with some unexpected riches, I\u2019ll send you word. But, now I need to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019d ya like a game of checkers? I owe you after the last whoppin\u2019 you gave me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t today, sorry Roy. I\u2019ve got to talk to the new schoolmarm.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSay, she\u2019s a real nice girl, Adam. There\u2019s a couple of fellers askin\u2019 after her already.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope she\u2019s not interested,\u201d Adam muttered. \u201cWe need to keep at least one<\/em> teacher for a year.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

There was a buggy waiting near the mercantile that he thought looked vaguely familiar\u2014enough so that he shook his head in puzzlement\u2014but of course he had an engagement to keep, whether the lady in question knew it or not. At least he knew she was there. The tune wafting from the windows of Mrs. O\u2019Reilly\u2019s as he strode up was unfamiliar, but surely Spanish. It was slow, melancholy, and beautiful, a tune he knew would haunt him for a long time. He didn\u2019t knock on the door, not wanting anything to interrupt it, but apparently Mrs. O\u2019Reilly kept her eyes on the street at all times, looking for potential boarders or maybe just potential gossip.<\/p>\n

She opened the door before he even mounted the last step on the porch. \u201cOh, Mr. Cartwright, it\u2019s good to see you again\u2014maybe you can get her<\/em> off that awful instrument for a while. She plays them dreadful furrin\u2019 songs from morning to night, and if that isn\u2019t bad enough, she\u2019s taken to singing \u2019em, too!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam, however, wasn\u2019t listening to her. Miss Hoffman was singing. She had a nice voice, pleasant, easy on the ear. Not strong enough or rich enough for opera, but certainly one that would brighten a Sunday morning service or an evening sing-along\u2014although he had a suspicion the song she was singing now, pretty as it was, wouldn\u2019t be popular in Virginia City. She was singing in Spanish, which was lucky, since although Virginia City\u2019s population was always in flux, he was pretty sure there weren\u2019t many Spanish-speakers in the current mix. He and his family were fairly proficient, just from all the Mexican friends and hired hands they had known over the last 20 years, so he understood the words. It was the chorus that fascinated him, although it almost made him blush.<\/p>\n

Ansi ver tu hermozura. (How I long to see your beauty)
\nDime ni\u00f1a: \u00bfdonde vienes? (Tell me, girl: where are you from?)
\nYo te quiero conocer. (I would like to get to know you)
\nSi t\u00fa no tienes amante, (If you don’t have a lover)
\nYo dejara de aprender. (I know where you might find one)<\/p>\n

\u201cShhh,\u201d he said absently to Mrs. O\u2019Reilly. \u201cMustn\u2019t interrupt a concert.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLand sakes,\u201d she muttered, and stamped back to her kitchen.<\/p>\n

When the last strains died away, and he waited but she didn\u2019t automatically begin playing something else, he ventured entry into the room where she was just sitting at the piano, looking mournfully at her hands. She started at glimpsing him. \u201cOh, Lord, Mr. Cartwright, I didn\u2019t know you were there. I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou really have to stop making apologies for your playing,\u201d he said with a grin. \u201cI was enjoying the music. That was a beautiful piece. Spanish music is always lovely.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not exactly considered Spanish,\u201d she said thoughtfully. \u201cThe title is \u2018A La Una.\u2019 It\u2019s Sephardic.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sephardic\u2026he wasn\u2019t sure if he had even heard that term before. He usually didn\u2019t like asking questions that he couldn\u2019t answer himself, but he had no choice. \u201cI\u2019m not familiar with that term. Is it a region of Spain?\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled. \u201cA people. The Jews who lived in Spain, and were exiled along with the Moors when Ferdinand and Isabella united Spain and began the Inquisition. The Sephards had their own musical style. I\u2019ve loved that song since I first heard it\u2014although it sounds better on a guitar.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you did justice to it, but for my own vanity I\u2019d like to learn to play it myself,\u201d Adam chuckled. \u201cI think I could do justice to it as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you sing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do. And I play a little guitar, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmm.\u201d She tilted her head. \u201cExactly how little is this guitar? Small enough for Little Joe to play?\u201d<\/p>\n

He laughed out loud; he\u2019d forgotten that sense of humor.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlay it again, Miss Hoffman,\u201d he said. \u201cI have a feeling there\u2019s no sheet music for this song.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, but I\u2019ll be nervous if you\u2019re looking\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have no reason to be. Please.\u201d He sat down beside her on the bench, watching the chords she hit. Then she played it again, singing this time, and he joined in on the chorus. \u201c\u2026Si t\u00fa no tienes amante, yo dejara de aprender.\u201d<\/p>\n

When she looked up at him at the end, he winked. No rules against having a sense of humor of his own. She looked back at the keys, blushing. \u201cYou have a lovely voice, Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo do you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you didn\u2019t come all the way to town to serenade li\u2019l ole me!\u201d She jumped up. \u201cSo, what occasions this visit, Mr. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

He rose, a little reluctantly; he\u2019d been hoping for another song. \u201cYou\u2019re right as ever, Miss Hoffman. But before I come to that, is there no way we can drop these lengthy surnames and legal prefixes? My name is Adam, and I seem to recall yours is Mathilde.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrue enough, but calling me that would win you my undying hatred,\u201d she said with a grin. \u201cIf it means so much to you, you may call me Tilly. I, however, will continue to call you Mr. Cartwright. After all, you are the employer, and I the servant. Now that we\u2019ve taken care of that, what can I do for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

For some reason he felt disappointed. He cleared his throat and returned to formality. \u201cI was hoping to get a glimpse of what Monday will bring\u2014Miss<\/em> Hoffman<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, that\u2019s all right,\u201d she replied. \u201cWait in the sitting room, if you would; I\u2019ll bring everything down.\u201d<\/p>\n

That was when they heard the knocking at the door, and before either of them could move to get it, Mrs. O\u2019Reilly had answered and a high-pitched girl\u2019s voice said, \u201cI need to see Adam Cartwright, this very minute!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam felt the blood drain from his face as Peggy Dayton walked in.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Peggy cried, and threw her arms around him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeggy, I\u2014I\u2019m\u2026surprised to see you,\u201d Adam said softly, returning the hug. \u201cYou\u2019re all grown up.\u201d<\/p>\n

She rolled her eyes. \u201cI\u2019m only nine.\u201d<\/p>\n

He sat down on the piano bench, his legs feeling a little weak. \u201cAre you just visiting?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo; Mama and Will decided to give the ranch another try. I heard them talking when they didn\u2019t know I was around. She never did sell it, and Will said maybe it had been long enough not to matter now. I don\u2019t know what that meant.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe either.\u201d Adam cleared his throat, and then noticed the little silver buckles on the black boots standing next to him. He\u2019d forgotten she was there, and looked up in surprise at the questioning expression. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. Peggy, if you\u2019re going to be living here again, this lady will be very important to you. This is Miss Hoffman, the new schoolteacher. Miss Hoffman, this is Peggy\u2026um, is it Dayton, or are you a Cartwright now?\u201d<\/p>\n

Peggy looked darkly at him, ignoring the teacher. \u201cI was gonna be a Cartwright, but you chickened out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam let that outrage pass with no more than a convulsive swallow. \u201cWill is a Cartwright, Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a different kind of Cartwright. I wanted to be your kind. You were gonna be my daddy. I didn\u2019t want Will. He didn\u2019t want me either. I heard him tell a man in San Francisco it was like buying a mare with a colt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go upstairs and get my books,\u201d Tilly Hoffman said quickly. \u201cIt was nice to meet you, Peggy.\u201d She bolted from the room, leaving Adam with crimson cheeks and Peggy.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry he said that, Peggy,\u201d Adam said. \u201cI\u2019m sure he was only joking. Will jokes a lot. But I know he loves your mother. I\u2019m sure he loves you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter,\u201d Peggy replied. \u201cI didn\u2019t come here to talk about him. I saw you when I was over at the mercantile, and sneaked away as quick as I could. I had to talk to you. When I left that morning with Aunt Lil you and my mama were engaged and gonna get married, and then I never saw you again. Mama came to the house with Will and said we were all going to San Francisco together. She didn\u2019t tell me nothing, and Will didn\u2019t ask me if I minded like you did. They just got married and when I asked why she married him instead of you she said you chickened out. I wanna know what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam forced himself to stay silent and not tense up or she would certainly feel his anger. Apparently Laura never had learned to take responsibility for her own actions, at least where her daughter was concerned. He smiled and held out his arms, and she climbed onto his lap without hesitating. \u201cI\u2019m sorry things didn\u2019t work out for your mother and me, Peggy. I did love her. There\u2019s a part of me that will always love her. But there are lots of different kinds of love, and the kind I had with your mother wasn\u2019t the kind that makes a happy marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWas it my fault? I know you got mad sometimes when I was bad.\u201d She looked away.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it wasn\u2019t your fault, Peggy. I wanted very much to be your daddy. I think\u2026\u201d He swallowed. \u201cI think I wanted to be your daddy more than I wanted to be your mama\u2019s husband. And I think your mama knew that, and that\u2019s why we didn\u2019t get married. Peggy, when a man and a woman get married they ought to love each other more than anybody else in the world, and I don\u2019t think your mama and I loved each other that much.\u201d<\/p>\n

She finally looked back. \u201cI wanted you. Sometimes I\u2019m not nice to Will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, he\u2019s a good man, and I know he loves your mama. I\u2019m sure he loves you, Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n

A shrug.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, we\u2019re still related,\u201d Adam said, forcing a smile. \u201cWe\u2019re cousins now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure. Will Cartwright is my cousin. If he\u2019s your father now, that makes you my cousin too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s true. So you\u2019re still \u2018my kind of Cartwright.\u2019 And I hope you know that you and your family are always welcome at the Ponderosa. You can come visit any time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2014any time your mother and Will say it\u2019s all right for you to come.\u201d<\/p>\n

She grinned.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, if you\u2019re going to stay in Virginia City, can you do me a favor?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can be my spy. I want you to tell me how Miss Hoffman is doing. Tell me if you like the way she teaches.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood\u2014hey, you better get back before your mother comes looking. She\u2019ll be worried.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh. She\u2019ll never notice I\u2019m gone. Will\u2019s always the one who comes looking for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam swallowed and looked away. \u201cI\u2019ll see you soon, Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, Adam.\u201d She kissed his cheek and slid off his lap. \u201c\u2019Bye.\u201d<\/p>\n

As soon as the door slammed, Adam turned around. \u201cMrs. O\u2019Reilly!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Mr. Cartwright?\u201d She appeared so fast he knew she\u2019d been hidden somewhere nearby, listening to the whole exchange.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease tell Miss Hoffman she can come down now\u2026and Mrs. O\u2019Reilly?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Mr. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou get a lot of business referred to you by the Cartwrights, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do indeed, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen, keeping that in mind, I\u2019d think it behooves you to respect our privacy just a little, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, Mr. Cartwright! Always!\u201d<\/p>\n

He managed to say, \u201cThanks.\u201d But it was pointless; the woman was the biggest gossip in town.<\/p>\n

Tilly Hoffman apparently had decided the slammed door meant it was safe to reappear, and she trooped loudly downstairs without waiting for the summons but giving ample warning of her arrival. She had a slate and some written notes and a couple of books in her hands, and an innocent expression that belied just how much of the embarrassing scene she had heard before her flight, or how much of Peggy\u2019s yelling had carried upstairs. \u201cI\u2019m very excited to share all this with you, Mr. Cartwright,\u201d she exclaimed. And for the next half-hour she told him how decimals could dance, and how role-playing enhanced history lessons, and more than he could keep in his head later about ways to keep the students\u2019 interests high. Suddenly he found himself noticing that her blue eyes fairly glowed with excitement as she spoke. She had wonderful eyes, he decided.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

He\u2019d picked up his hat to leave when she blushed and said, \u201cYou don\u2019t need to worry about me, Mr. Cartwright\u2014I mean, regarding the other visitor. I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

He took her arm and all-but pulled her outside and down the steps, away from prying ears. \u201cPlease, Miss Hoffman, it\u2019s not you I\u2019m worried about. But I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve learned by now that your landlady is one of the major conduits of Cartwright gossip in Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n

Embarrassment reddened her cheeks, but she said with a slight smile, \u201cIt\u2019s not just you, Mr. Cartwright. She\u2019s already paired me up with half the eligible young men in Virginia City, and a few who are not eligible at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would expect you\u2019ll get a lot of that, Miss Hoffman.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d she agreed. \u201cFor \u2018it is a truth universally accepted that a young woman\u2014in any<\/em> circumstances\u2014must be in want of a husband.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWith apologies to Jane Austen,\u201d he murmured.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re familiar with Jane Austen?\u201d She seemed surprised.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am,\u201d he replied. \u201cAnd I cannot tell you how many times I\u2019ve been tempted to use the quote you just paraphrased to pertain to the situation my brothers and I are usually in. We can\u2019t seem to convince anyone that we\u2019re married to the Ponderosa, and she\u2019s a jealous mistress.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought it had more to do with the family curse,\u201d she said\u2014and then, covered her mouth in sudden horror. \u201cMr. Cartwright, I\u2019m so sorry. Please for\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cApparently some of the gossip does stay with you,\u201d Adam shrugged, with a grim set to his jaw. \u201cWell, you\u2019re hardly the first to suggest it. It\u2019s true that Cartwright wives never seem to last very long. Or engagements. You would think that might slow down all the attempts to pair us up with someone, but it never does.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it helps any,\u201d she said suddenly, \u201cmy family is cursed too. Or at least, I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be ridiculous. \u2018Curses\u2019 are like ghosts and goblins and all the other inventions our minds try to use against us to keep us living in fear.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not so sure of that.\u201d She was smiling. \u201cNot any more, at least. Six years ago this time I had two brothers who were engaged to be married\u2014as was I. I also had a mother and a father. Two years ago this time I had two dead brothers, not one but two dead fianc\u00e9s, a dead mother, and a father who had lost his mind. Now here I am in the middle of the desert, my only relative is an uncle I despise, and yet I\u2019m here.\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked at her, wondering at her strange story and wondering what her point was in all of it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t imagine I\u2019ll ever marry,\u201d she said, shrugging. \u201cEvery fellow I like a little seems determined to domesticate me like a cow. \u2018When you marry me, you will quit teaching,\u2019 they all say, and that\u2019s when I know I\u2019ll never marry any of them. I only ever found two men who were willing to accept all my dreams along with me, and they died, but my dreams didn\u2019t. I don\u2019t expect you ever heard this poem, Mr. Cartwright\u2026\u2018If I have freedom in my love, and in my soul am free\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAngels alone that soar above, enjoy such liberty,\u201d Adam finished, smiling, and she looked at him in surprise.<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright, you cannot be typical of the men of Virginia City; otherwise, I\u2019ll have to revise my evaluation of this part of the country.\u201d<\/p>\n

He shrugged. \u201cI\u2019m probably not too typical, but then I\u2019m not from Virginia City, anyway. I\u2019m Boston born and bred. And educated. Harvard, \u201956.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWorse yet\u2014a damned Yankee,\u201d she said with a grin that belied her words. \u201cOh well. Then you studied Lovelace in school?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe read some of his poems, but I really learned it from a book that belonged to my mother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I would have liked your mother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI often think I would have liked her, too. But you were telling me about your<\/em> curse.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you should know what it is. I\u2019m a teacher, and an old maid. But I\u2019ve discovered there are far worse curses than being an old maid. I refuse to let other people dictate my life to me. I\u2019ll be a teacher until the day I die, and whatever other people expect of me doesn\u2019t matter as long as I meet my own expectations. And I don\u2019t live in fear, either. That\u2019s my blessing.\u201d She laughed and looked up at him. \u201cHow about you, Mr. Cartwright? Are you still trying to please everyone except yourself, or have you already learned the ways of wisdom, that it\u2019s not possible to please the rest of the world?\u201d<\/p>\n

He chuckled without humor. \u201cWe\u2019ll have to compare sad stories someday, but not now. I want to ask you about something far more interesting.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked at him, eyebrows raised.<\/p>\n

\u201cOur dog,\u201d he explained. \u201cMy brothers said you know all about her breed. I was hoping to learn more about her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I don\u2019t know much. It\u2019s my uncle who\u2019s a self-proclaimed expert, although he was just the one with the money, backing the investment. He had a kennel man who seemed to know everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs there anything helpful you can tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot really, not without seeing her again. She\u2019s called a blue merle\u2014not a very common color. Usually they\u2019re brown and white, or black, brown and white. She seemed to have all the common collie features; her size was right, though she was a bit underweight. She had the standard collie head and ears, and blue eyes are known to happen with merles. But her tail was a disaster.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, she was a foundling,\u201d Adam explained. \u201cShe was caught in a trap, and it mangled her tail. Hoss had to cut it off. Hoss believes she traveled for a long time to get there, which explains why she was so thin. She\u2019s put on a lot of weight since, though. Hoss said he couldn\u2019t have fattened her up better if she was a Christmas turkey. Maybe you\u2019ll come out to the Ponderosa after church Sunday, and you can see if she meets with your approval.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d like that, Mr. Cartwright. She\u2019s a nice dog.\u201d She didn\u2019t look at him when she said it, though, and he wondered why. Besides, he missed seeing her eyes.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

He made one more stop\u2014at the Territorial<\/em> Enterprise<\/em>, to put in a classified advertisement. \u201cFound: one collie dog. Inquiries accepted at Ponderosa Ranch. Must be able to describe dog & prove ownership.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was thinking about Tilly Hoffman again as he rode toward home. It wasn\u2019t just that she had nice eyes. It was the enthusiasm in them that had grabbed his interest. She wasn\u2019t a teacher for money or independence. She really wanted to teach. She even called teaching her dream, her curse, and her blessing.<\/p>\n

He loved her passion. He remembered a time when he\u2019d had passion like that. He\u2019d been so young then, coming back from college bursting with ideas for bettering the Ponderosa and full of zeal for carrying them out. There was the day he and Philip Diedesheimer had put in a new support system for the Ophir mine, and the results were even better than they had hoped. That night he and Diedesheimer had celebrated down at the Sazarac in a manner that was still spoken of with shaking heads. They had run into Paul Martin, depressed over losing a patient, and persuaded him to join them\u2026and they had grabbed a corner table and enough rotgut to drown a whale, and sat up the entire night talking about the engineering, architectural, and medical fields, and how they frequently advanced together. Diedesheimer was going on about ways to pump air down into a deep mine, and Paul was pushing the virtues of transferring blood from one fellow to another so people wouldn\u2019t bleed to death. Saloon girls kept coming to the table and trying to join in, and leaving in disgust when they couldn\u2019t follow the conversation.<\/p>\n

The next day he\u2019d had a huge hangover\u2026but he could still remember everything they had discussed, and had added them to the list of things he wanted to research for himself\u2026<\/p>\n

Then there were the bad memories, outnumbering the good. He remembered all the arguments with his father and constantly having to explain his reasons for every little change, and his father\u2019s griping at how education had ruined his ability to think\u2026and how that had knocked the energy out of him. First he had stopped fighting so hard for the projects he believed in, and finally had stopped even suggesting them. For the last few years he had barely done more than go through the motions of running the ranch exactly the way his father wanted, because \u201cif it ain\u2019t broke, don\u2019t fix it.\u201d The last time he\u2019d gotten genuinely excited over an idea it was a windmill, and the fight with his father that day had been legendary. And then, after finally winning his father\u2019s reluctant approval, he\u2019d gotten into trouble with the Shoshone, and had never finished the trip. That had spelled doom for any other ideas he\u2019d had for bettering the ranch. He was pretty sure his passion for anything had died out when Ruth was taken away, for that matter. But then, his father insisted Ruth was only a dream, and waking up had destroyed her.<\/p>\n

He wondered how long it would take before life destroyed Tilly Hoffman\u2019s dreams too, and decided he\u2019d rather not know.<\/p>\n

Funny, thinking about Ruth after all this time. Being a \u201chealer\u201d was as important for her as teaching is to Tilly Hoffman. How long did I know Ruth\u2014a week, maybe? If<\/strong> she was even real? Pa didn\u2019t think so\u2026and then how long did I search for her before coming to believe him\u2026how long did it take before the Shoshone discovered that she wasn\u2019t a spirit after all? <\/em><\/p>\n

If she ever lived, she\u2019s dead now. And as far as it concerns me, she\u2019s just another failure in a long list. Nothing left to mark her existence\u2026except a memory, and even now I\u2019m not sure how much was real and how much was fever-induced hallucination. She deserved better than that.<\/em><\/p>\n

So did Tilly Hoffman, he thought suddenly. If little slips of girls like Ruth and Tilly were strong enough to take it on the chin when life aimed a blow, why couldn\u2019t he do it too? And why had he given up everything he\u2019d ever wanted just to live his father\u2019s life?<\/p>\n

That stops now.<\/em><\/p>\n

First, he\u2019d start making some of those long-dreamed improvements to the Ponderosa. He had somewhere around six weeks to two months before his father got back.\u00a0 There was a lot that could be accomplished in that length of time. He started listing things in his head, and by the time he was almost home he had thought of so many ideas that he slowed Beauty down to a walk so he could take out his pencil stub and jot them down in the back of his poetry book.<\/p>\n

They came around a curve a few miles away from the house to find Hoss, Joe, and Mutton Jim, the unofficial foreman, finishing the branding of the calves. Funny. He was sure he\u2019d scheduled two other fellows to help. He replaced his book and pencil, and gave Beauty a nudge. Hoss was on the far side of the herd, looking for the unbranded ones; they\u2019d had a lot of late-born summer calves this year that had missed out on the last branding.<\/p>\n

Mutton Jim\u2014so called because he had once worked on a sheep ranch\u2014was working the irons. Joe was cutting out a calf now\u2014there went the rope\u2014got him<\/em>! Joe\u2019s accuracy had always been legendary, and now he was off Cochise tying the struggling calf, and dragging it toward Mutton Jim.<\/p>\n

With a sudden hair-bristling sixth sense, Adam realized that the calf\u2019s mother was going to do more than voice her disagreement about this whole branding business. Hoss had seen her too, and was pointing and yelling, but Joe didn\u2019t hear him. Adam raised an alarm at the top of his voice and kicked Beauty into a gallop, but he was too far away and Beauty wouldn\u2019t jump that wire fence. He reached for his Colt\u2014and then saw Lady streaking round from where Hoss had been, faster than he\u2019d ever seen her move before, and without making a sound. The cow was charging Joe, who was afoot. Joe had just realized his danger and was plunging aside fast, but not fast enough. He fell, and the cow had a clear path to him, and Adam\u2019s heart jumped clear into his ears, making his whole head pound as he aimed his gun.<\/p>\n

Still a good ten feet from the enraged cow, Lady launched herself through the air, straight at the cow\u2019s face. Her long, thin jaws clamped down tight on the cow\u2019s nose\u2014the tenderest part of its body\u2014the cow, bellowing and shrieking in pain, crashed to the ground, and Adam\u2019s shot went over everyone\u2019s heads. Lady was on her feet again in no time, standing over the cow, snarling.<\/p>\n

By now Hoss was there, putting Chubb between the angry cow and her bawling calf, and Joe, laughing as if there had never been anything to worry about, grabbed the calf again so Mutton Jim could apply the brand.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Adam\u2019s here!\u201d Joe called out. \u201cAdam, did you see that? What a dog\u2014and you wanted to get rid of her!\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly feeling weak-kneed, Adam holstered the gun and hunched over the saddle to get his breath back. \u201cWhatsa matter with you?\u201d Joe hollered. \u201cYou look like birch bark!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd when have you ever seen a birch tree,\u201d Adam retorted as he dismounted, sounding furious in an attempt to cover the fear he\u2019d felt a moment before.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, I ain\u2019t, but you used to bore me with all kinds of nonsense about \u2019em,\u201d Joe giggled. \u201cCome on, Older Brother, I\u2019m trying to tell you about my heroic dog here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Adam said quietly. \u201cShe sure saved your bacon, you big ham.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lady, now assured that the humans again had the situation under control, dashed for Adam, barking hysterically, and launched herself at him as she had done at the cow. She didn\u2019t grab his nose, but 60 pounds of collie knocked him flat on his back.<\/p>\n

Joe dove under the wire and ran up to him, and Hoss, his shirt torn from where he\u2019d squeezed through the fence, was close behind, concern on both their faces. \u201cYou okay, Adam? Your back ain\u2019t hurt, is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope,\u201d he replied dryly, remaining on his back, pushing the ebullient dog and her sloppy tongue away from his face. \u201cI\u2019m fine. Just enjoying a little affectionate female company, that\u2019s all. Get off me, dog\u2026off\u2026OFF!\u201d<\/p>\n

Still barking exuberantly, Lady now threw herself at Beauty, and as Adam got up, he watched in bemused wonder as Lady and Beauty touched noses and then began what looked like a strange dance, with Lady darting in and out of the horse\u2019s legs while Beauty pranced about, lifting his hooves carefully to avoid her. \u201cThey like each other,\u201d he said in surprise. \u201cThose animals genuinely like each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t realize he\u2019d said it aloud, and was surprised at the sudden laughter of his brothers.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd he\u2019s supposed to be the smart one,\u201d Joe cackled. \u201cCome on, Hoss, let\u2019s finish up. Lady, you wanna take the rest of the day off?\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, what else do you two geniuses know that I don\u2019t know about my<\/em> dog?\u201d Adam asked over dinner. Another Hop Sing miracle; he could take the toughest flank steak and transform it into ambrosia.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe grinned back without a word.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on,\u201d Adam said sharply. \u201cYou let me sit there yesterday like Christopher Columbus discovering the New World when I talked about her running that stray back to the herd.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd just like Christopher Columbus, you got here and found people already there,\u201d Joe laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019ve been having her work with cows for a while, haven\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly since we took her shoes off,\u201d Hoss replied. \u201cMutton Jim said he\u2019d worked with a lot of sheep dogs before, and even though he hadn\u2019t seen one that looked like Lady, he was pretty sure she\u2019d work the same way. And he was right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut these aren\u2019t sheep,\u201d Adam said, which made Joe start sniggering and making surreptitious \u201che\u2019s supposed to be the smart one\u201d murmurings again.<\/p>\n

\u201cSame difference.\u201d Hoss manfully ignored Joe, which at least spared him the kick under the table that Joe received. \u201cThey\u2019re bigger than sheep, they eat slower, and they don\u2019t gen\u2019rally pile on top of each other when they\u2019re scared. And o\u2019course they got them sharp horns. But shucks, Adam, we figgered when we saw Lady workin\u2019 with chickens that if she could herd them she could herd anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe fluttered his eyelashes and clasped his hands together. \u201cThey like each other!\u201d he declaimed, his voice like a little girl\u2019s. \u201cThose\u2026animals<\/em>\u2026really like<\/em> each other!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what else do you know that I don\u2019t,\u201d Adam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose; talking to these two, especially when Joe was in one of his silly moods, always brought on headaches.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d Hoss said, \u201cwe know why you had problems at first gettin\u2019 her to move that cow yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou had your hat in your hand, that\u2019s how you described it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, she doesn\u2019t like hats?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSheep dogs are trained with hand signals,\u201d Joe said. \u201cIf you have something in your hand, it confuses the dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam thought about this while he sneaked another green bean under the table. The dog seemed to love green beans as much as meat.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if she\u2019s had training to work with sheep\u2014or cows\u2014and what she\u2019s doing actually is training and not just instinct, that proves she belongs to someone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u201cIt proves she used to belong to someone. Maybe they\u2019re dead. Nobody alive who saw any value in that dog would just let her run off into the wilderness for a couple of months, Adam. So either they\u2019re dead or they don\u2019t care. She\u2019s ours.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI put an ad in the paper,\u201d Adam confessed, and both his brothers looked askance at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI never thought you\u2019d go through with that,\u201d Joe said. \u201cWhat purpose does it serve?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, I made it as difficult as I could to meet the conditions,\u201d Adam said. Then he grinned. \u201cBut I had to try. It\u2019s, you know, honesty, not that either of you would know what that word means.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery funny,\u201d Joe said. \u201cHey Adam, do you mind me goin\u2019 into town tomorrow? I want to buy a new shirt for the dance Saturday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat dance?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe one you obviously ain\u2019t going to\u2014AGAIN,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cWe\u2019ve been tryin\u2019 to get you to a dance all month long, and all you do is hole up with the account books every Saturday night. Now if it was me and I had a choice between a purdy gal and an account book, I know which one I\u2019d pick, but like Joe says, you\u2019re the smart one in the family.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know Tilly\u2019s been at the last two dances. We saw her there even if we didn\u2019t know she was the new schoolmarm back then,\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly? How\u2019d you end up on a first name basis?\u201d Adam demanded with a sudden illogical irritation.<\/p>\n

Joe raised his eyebrows. \u201cShe said \u2018Call me Tilly.\u2019 I said \u2018Call me Joe.\u2019 Hoss said, \u2018Call me anything, but do please call on me.\u2019 That\u2019s the way it usually works, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t really say that,\u201d Hoss interposed hastily. \u201cHow come you don\u2019t call her Tilly, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam swallowed, and then lifted his chin. \u201cBecause we\u2019re colleagues, not friends. And of course that\u2019s the way it should be. I\u2019m on the school board, after all, and largely responsible for her being hired. We can\u2019t have anyone misperceiving our relations. It\u2019s a shame, the way the gossips seem to look for things to misunderstand, she even has to be careful at social functions like dances. It makes things difficult for her; she has to watch for anything that could damage her reputation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, of course,\u201d Joe said with a sardonic smile. \u201cI knew that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, go buy a shirt and go to the dance, that\u2019s fine, but I don\u2019t want to think about dances right now,\u201d Adam said. \u201cWhen I was riding home today, I decided I want to try some innovations while Pa\u2019s gone. A few things to make the ranch more productive. Maybe surprise him when he gets back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid he say you could?\u201d Hoss asked doubtfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026in a sense,\u201d came the careful reply. \u201cI mean, he did say to use my own discretion making decisions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh HUH,\u201d Joe said. \u201cNow Older Brother, correct me if I\u2019m wrong, but don\u2019t you usually beat the daylights out of me whenever I start an idea by presuming that it\u2019s easier to apologize than to ask for permission?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is different,\u201d Adam replied piously.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes it different?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m the one doin\u2019 it.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

They talked a couple of hours about his ideas. The windmills, the irrigation ditches, the dam on the creek, the standing hay, and all the other things he had jotted down earlier, and although his brothers had a few doubts about what Pa would say, they agreed that starting everything now meant things would be in place before Pa returned, and before he could protest, maybe he\u2019d see the benefit. And\u2026if there wasn\u2019t any benefit, well, it was only their time that had been wasted, not Pa\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cI still cain\u2019t see how you\u2019re gonna turn that north section into pasture land,\u201d Hoss mumbled. \u201cI mean, you never did meet Ira Fairbanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but I read his papers and worked out the math,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cI think we can do it. I\u2019ll draw up plans and maybe when you see it on paper you\u2019ll understand it better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can understand how you\u2019ll water it,\u201d Joe put in. \u201cWe did plenty of windmills for those folks in the low country during the big drought. But as to getting grass to grow up there\u2014much less to make it survive long enough to make hay\u2014that\u2019s not something I can picture. That land is all alkaline; there\u2019s very little that\u2019ll grow up there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWildrye grass will grow in the Great Basin,\u201d Adam said confidently. \u201cIf it\u2019ll grow there, it oughtta grow in our north section too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, all these improvements we\u2019re doin\u2019 are makin\u2019 me exhausted,\u201d Joe chuckled. \u201cWe\u2019re gonna need to go to that dance just to get our spirits up for all that work. And Adam, I bet Tilly will be lookin\u2019 for you there too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care if Saint Nick and Mary Shelley show up, I\u2019m not goin\u2019 to the dance!\u201d Adam\u2019s eyes were flashing.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I wouldn\u2019t mind meetin\u2019 Saint Nick. But I hope not Mary Shelley, anyhow.\u201d Hoss the peacemaker was trying to change the subject again. \u201cI \u2019member when you came home from school totin\u2019 that Frankenstein<\/em> book under your arm tellin\u2019 us you had a good story to read us. I nearly wet my diaper.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were 15!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was still ready to wear a diaper after you read that skeery thing, I truly was.\u201d<\/p>\n

By then they had retired to the living room, and Adam was actually ready to go to bed. But he did ask why the other two hands he had scheduled that day were not helping in the pasture.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey quit this morning without a by-your-leave. Didn\u2019t even want to wait until you got back for their wages,\u201d Joe said. \u201cDoesn\u2019t matter. They were worthless, and Lady worked better than both of \u2019em put together. About the only thing they were any good at was riding fence\u2014or at least, we guess they were good at it since they went out in the morning and came back at night. Come to think of it, maybe they were off nappin\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s true,\u201d Hoss put in. \u201cThey weren\u2019t good for much. Only reason we got mad when they left was because they didn\u2019t give notice. I dunno, Adam, seems like Little Joe and I are gettin\u2019 of an age where we don\u2019t much care for surprises.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, get ready for the conversation to take an unpleasant turn, then,\u201d Adam yawned. \u201cI got one devil of a surprise in town today. It seems our cousin Will, his wife, and his child are back, and planning to stay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s his wife\u2014wait a minute, you mean Laura? And Peggy?\u201d Joe cried. \u201cOh, holy cow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had never told them much about that mess, simply that he and Laura had broken their engagement. And to their credit, his brothers had not asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre we gonna\u2026\u2019sociate with \u2019em?\u201d Hoss asked cautiously, looking not at Adam, but at Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t see how.\u201d Joe\u2019s hands were already clenched. \u201cThose two didn\u2019t fall in love the minute after the engagement with Adam ended. I\u2019ve thought about it a lot, and it all comes down to one thing\u2014they were steppin\u2019 out right behind our brother\u2019s back. I feel bad enough that we kept pushing the two of \u2019em together, but\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat thought ends right there,\u201d Adam stated calmly. \u201cI won\u2019t have you talking or thinking like that. Will is family, which makes Laura and Peggy family. And we are Cartwrights\u2014we don\u2019t throw out family with the potato peels.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head. \u201cBut Adam\u2014what are you grinning at?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam cleared his throat. He and Little Joe had fought for years and always would, but in a fight against anyone else, nobody would rush to his side faster. \u201cI\u2019m gonna break my own rule and talk about this situation for a minute. Then, after I say what I need to say, we\u2019re not going to talk about this anymore. I owe our cousin a very large debt of gratitude for taking Laura off my hands. If I had married Laura, I would\u2019ve been the unhappiest man in Christendom. I would have gained a wonderful daughter and a house of my own, but that\u2019s a bad trade for a husband and wife who make each other miserable. I wanted to take care of Laura, but I didn\u2019t love her\u2014not the kind of love that would make a marriage work, the kind I remember that Pa had with Inger or Marie.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou gave a durned good impression of it,\u201d Hoss observed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI did what people expected,\u201d Adam said. \u201cAnd I learned a lesson: never mistake the love of helping a person for the love of the actual person. So, we will extend a welcoming hand to the \u2018other Cartwrights.\u2019 I expect they\u2019ll probably be at church Sunday, so make a special point to say hello. I have a feeling that the way we treat them will have a large effect on the way the town treats them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hate it when you\u2019re noble,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe too,\u201d Adam said. \u201cThat\u2019s why I do it so seldom. Now please let me go to bed. I don\u2019t know about you, but I\u2019ve got a lot of work to do tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Joe agreed. \u201cIt must be hard work to draw all them pictures of the stuff me and Hoss are gonna have to carry around.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chapter 4<\/strong><\/p>\n

He read a little, thought about his plans a little, and went to sleep. Seven hours later he woke, feeling just fine, and started to sit up. And that was when it happened. He didn\u2019t even hear himself scream; he had no mind for anything but the white-hot pain radiating in every direction from the small of his back.<\/p>\n

Joe, Hoss, and Lady were in the room within seconds, to find him panting, his eyes squeezed shut.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t\u2014don\u2019t touch me!\u201d he cried when Hoss reached for him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d Hoss and Joe both demanded, looking askance at his chalk-white face.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy back\u2026\u201d he whispered, and couldn\u2019t say anything else for a minute; it took that long to catch his breath. \u201cOh, Lord\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Slowly, he felt the spasm coming to an end, gradually the muscles released, and he could breathe almost normally again.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna get Doc Martin,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s okay, I think,\u201d Adam said, tentatively moving his arms, then his legs.\u00a0 \u201cOwww\u2026whew, that was a revelation. Don\u2019t think I ever realized how good you feel when something quits hurting.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure you\u2019re okay?\u201d Hoss looked doubtful.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure didn\u2019t sound okay a minute ago,\u201d Joe admonished. \u201cBellowin\u2019 like a dyin\u2019 cow in a hailstorm. You\u2019re just doin\u2019 this to get outta muckin\u2019 the barn, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grinned weakly at him. \u201cI\u2019m not even scheduled for that today, baby boy, but it was a nice try.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo figure,\u201d Hoss muttered. \u201cAll the times you been shot, stabbed, and hit with arrows, you fall offa one gol-durned roof and that\u2019s the war wound that sticks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right, I don\u2019t make a very good hero.\u201d Adam held his breath then, feeling another spasm\u2014smaller, less intense, but enough to make him groan. Finally he could breathe again. \u201cI\u2019m not sure I want to start moving around any time soon. Maybe I\u2019ll just stay up here this morning. Hoss, can you bring my sketch pad and pencils, and Joe, uh\u2014please move the chamber pot over here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly if there ain\u2019t nothin\u2019 already in it,\u201d Joe grumbled, but he moved the item to the requested spot.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have Hop Sing make up a tray for you,\u201d Hoss offered.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey,\u201d Joe said with a wicked chortle, \u201chow is it I\u2019m the one who nearly got killed yesterday, and you\u2019re the one gettin\u2019 to take the day off?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBlame your dog,\u201d Adam replied, glowering. \u201cYou get your life saved by her. Me, she nearly kills. Yeah, you oversized tick transport, you puffed up excuse for a peddler\u2019s pelt, I mean you!\u201d The tone was meant as sarcasm, but it came out sounding murderously harsh, and he was looking at the dog all the while. Lady\u2019s head went lower to the floor with each word, and by the end, she had squinted her eyes shut and turned her head away, ears flat against her skull.<\/p>\n

\u201cGeez, Adam, look what you did. She didn\u2019t mean to hurt you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cCome on, I didn\u2019t hurt her feelings\u2014you do remember she\u2019s a dog, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight, brother, she\u2019s just a dog. Come on Lady, let\u2019s go.\u201d Lady slunk away, ears flat and tail clamped to her behind, but still turning back to look at Adam. Joe followed, shooting one last murderous glance at his brother.<\/p>\n

Adam wondered for a moment if dogs really did have feelings to hurt, and then his memory flashed back: the day she had chased the trespasser away on his command and come back laughing; her joy at his return the day before; her playful dance with Beauty and Beauty\u2019s own response. Good Lord, even horses had feelings. He had trained many a horse, and his body seemed to understand things about them that his conscious mind had not registered; how the training was supposed to \u201cbreak the will, but not the spirit,\u201d so that the horse\u2019s will became to do the will of the rider. And that was why they gentled the horses before putting a saddle on, and why they never used whips or spurs or the leg-tying methods some other ranches used. He had never really wondered about the \u201cwhy,\u201d simply accepting what he was told. It had all been purely functional to him. Maybe that\u2019s why Joe and Hoss are better with horses than I am.<\/em><\/p>\n

He tried to sit up again, and although it hurt like blazes, it wasn\u2019t as bad as the pain he\u2019d felt before, so he tentatively put his feet on the floor and tried to stand. With his hands anchoring his back, he staggered to the door to find Hoss coming back with a food tray and a towel.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the dickens are you doin\u2019 out of bed?\u201d Hoss demanded, putting the tray down on the bed and turning to glare at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Lady? I\u2026\u201d and then he stopped, because no matter what Hoss thought, he simply couldn\u2019t explain that he had to apologize to a dog.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s downstairs gettin\u2019 bawled out by Hop Sing. She just broke an egg. First one ever, and I know why it happened, even though you\u2019d never believe it. Well, I reckon it don\u2019t matter, since she\u2019s just a dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou get better at sarcasm all the time, Hoss,\u201d Adam snapped. \u201cI liked you better before you learned how.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t see why,\u201d Hoss shrugged. \u201cYou\u2019re one of my best teachers.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam took another step and knew he\u2019d never make it down the stairs. \u201cHoss\u2014please help me back to bed. And then bring Lady up here, if you would. I think I\u2019d like her to keep me company this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh,\u201d was all Hoss said.<\/p>\n

A few minutes later Lady appeared, alone, and sat down by the door to his room. He had to call her twice before she came to him, and she was slinking as close to the floor as she could get. She stopped an arm\u2019s length away, and turned her head, squinting.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood girl,\u201d Adam said, holding out his hand. Like the first morning they had met, she cringed away. Today, however, he slowly stretched his hand until he touched the top of her head, where he began to rub that spot between her eyes. \u201cGood girl,\u201d he said again.<\/p>\n

Joe came back a little later to pick up the tray and announce their departure. He found Lady happily panting on the bed and Adam asleep, curled around her. \u201cAnd this is the guy who said I\u2019m not picky about who I\u2019ll share a bed with,\u201d he chuckled. \u201cGuess the old dog learned a new trick.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

It was Joe\u2019s decision when he and Hoss returned late that night not to tell Adam what had transpired at the International House that afternoon; he was waiting to see just how complete his brother\u2019s recovery had been. They returned to find him in his worn blue chair, with his feet propped up on Lady, the world\u2019s happiest footstool. Adam was working his way through a thick book called Les Mis\u00e9rables<\/em> that he had special-ordered a couple of months back and that had arrived just the week before. Everybody knew Adam read books that needed to go on diets, but this new one had surprised even Adam, who commented that it was thicker than his Bible\u2014and he didn\u2019t think anything could be thicker than that<\/em>. His brothers had silently thanked God that their father wasn\u2019t around to hear that particular comment.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019re ya doin\u2019?\u201d Hoss queried, and thrust a thumb in the direction of his own back to make his meaning clear.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, I think,\u201d Adam said with a smile. \u201cHop Sing put enough liniment on me to set fire to my back and then dosed me up with a couple of herbal remedies. Slept most of the morning, sketched and wrote plans and construction schedules most of the afternoon. Finally I got up about an hour ago and tried walking around, and everything was all right, so I made my way downstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood for you,\u201d Hoss observed. \u201cWonder what Hop Sing\u2019s cookin\u2019\u2026\u201d and he ambled off toward the kitchen.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course now you probably just threw your back out again, carryin\u2019 that heavy book around,\u201d Joe chuckled. \u201cHow about Lady?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy shadow,\u201d Adam sighed. \u201cCan\u2019t get rid of her. Don\u2019t much want to now, though. I\u2019ll tell you, she\u2019s really changing the way I look at animals. I suppose next thing you know I\u2019ll discover cats are smart, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait\u2019ll Hoss finds out,\u201d Joe said with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh. I\u2019m more worried about what happens when Pa finds out. You know we can\u2019t keep her in the house much longer. Pa won\u2019t accept a dog in the house, that\u2019s all there is to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m counting on your logic and Lady\u2019s charm to win the argument,\u201d Little Joe replied. \u201cSo how are you, really? Any pain walking around? Let me see.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam rolled his eyes but decided to indulge his brother\u2019s whim. He rose, made a circuit of the room, and then did an exaggerated pirouette just to show he was no invalid yet. Joe whistled and clapped\u2014and then said, \u201cWell, that\u2019ll do fine!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat will do what?\u201d Adam asked suspiciously.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothin\u2019, Older Brother, really. I just wanted to make sure you\u2019re okay. Hey, I had supper at the International House, so I think I\u2019m gonna skip it here. Make my apologies to Hop Sing, will you? I\u2019m really tired.\u201d With that, Joseph Francis Cartwright bounded up the stairs with the speed of a Thoroughbred, and slammed his door.<\/p>\n

That was when Adam knew for certain he was in trouble. He went looking for Hoss, but Hoss found him first.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Adam,\u201d he said, returning from the kitchen with three biscuits in each hand, \u201cI\u2019m glad you changed your mind. Miss Tilly\u2019s real happy, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was surprised at first though. I mean, considerin\u2019 your back and all. Guess Little Joe had it figgered right after all. He said you\u2019d be fine with a little rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine for what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe dance tomorrow night. Joe said\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

With that Adam whirled and bolted up the stairs, two at a time, leaving Hoss behind to reflect that his brother\u2019s recovery had been complete indeed\u2026and that Joe had probably not told him the entire<\/em> truth back in town.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Earlier that day:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBoy, it\u2019s good to come into town once in a while.\u201d Joe stretched at the hitching post. \u201cSometimes I think Older Brother intends to make hermits of us all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat would make you think that?\u201d Hoss asked, giving Chubb a final rub on the forehead before turning away.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow \u2019bout the fact that we hardly came anywhere near here in two weeks except for church on Sundays?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, we\u2019ve been kinda busy after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but if Adam wasn\u2019t so cheap he\u2019d hire a few more hands and we wouldn\u2019t have so much to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno, I asked him about that the other night. He told me a lotta stuff about \u2018limited liquid assets\u2019 and plumb made my head hurt. What I think it means is he pulled most of our cash and put it into gettin\u2019 more stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m bettin\u2019 our assets are gonna get even more limited when he starts putting in all those \u2018innovations\u2019 he was talking about last night,\u201d Joe muttered.<\/p>\n

Hoss grunted. \u201cSo we might as well learn to live with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, Hoss,\u201d Joe considered, \u201cAdam said Pa isn\u2019t like he used to be\u2014that he\u2019s changed over time. Gotten softer, and more willing to bend. D\u2019you suppose that\u2019ll ever happen to Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe, but I doubt you and I\u2019ll live to see it,\u201d Hoss chuckled. \u201cSay, ain\u2019t that Miss Tilly headin\u2019 over to the International House?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo it is. Think I\u2019ll go pay my respects.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat fer?\u201d Hoss asked suspiciously. Little Joe always had an ulterior motive when girls were involved.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, we have to get her to the dance, don\u2019t we?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe do? Why? You\u2019re already takin\u2019\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFor Adam,\u201d Joe cut in.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean he changed his mind? But what about his back? He was hurtin\u2019 pretty bad this mornin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll be fine by tomorrow. Probably by tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

Try though he did, Hoss could not remember Adam saying anything to indicate a change of opinion about the dance, nor could he recall a time when Adam and Joe had had a private conversation of any length last night or this morning. And, Adam had always struck Hoss as the sort of fellow who did his own wooing, and didn\u2019t ask anyone\u2014even his brothers\u2014for help on that score. But then Little Joe wouldn\u2019t tell a lie. At least, not about something that important. So he followed his brother over to the International House, where Joe was already seating the schoolteacher at a table and insisting that he pay for her meal.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I won\u2019t let you pay for me, Joe, but I hope you\u2019ll join me all the same.\u201d She looked up as a huge shadow cut into the light. \u201cOh, hello, Hoss! I didn\u2019t realize you were here too. I hope you were planning to join us?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss blushed and sat down with a mumbled greeting. While they waited for their food, Little Joe wasted no time getting to the point. \u201cTilly, has anybody asked you to the dance tomorrow night?\u201d<\/p>\n

She hesitated and looked down. \u201cWell\u2026yes. But I\u2019m not planning to attend, so I made my excuses already.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t wanna go?\u201d Hoss repeated in surprise. \u201cWhy on earth not? Ain\u2019t too many things more fun than a harvest time dance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI like the dances,\u201d she said. \u201cReally. It\u2019s just that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe seen ya at two of \u2019em before, and you were havin\u2019 a good time, looked like.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I did have a good time. It\u2019s just that people are getting the wrong idea about me. I\u2026\u201d She looked down again. \u201cI overheard some gossip at the store. People are thinking I\u2019m one of those teachers who came here to find a husband. Your brother told me there had been a few of that type before. But I don\u2019t want anyone doubting the legitimacy of my position.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, who cares what a lot of meddling busybodies think?\u201d Joe scoffed. \u201cTell me who they were and me and Hoss\u2019ll take care of them for you anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss and I<\/em>.\u201d Tilly\u2019s voice was stern.<\/p>\n

Joe just grinned. \u201cOh, you wanna help too?\u201d And they all laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not just them\u2026the first couple of members of the school board all but said the same thing to me. I know it\u2019s human nature to be contrary, but I\u2019m just aching to prove those men wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere, all the more reason to go to the dance with Adam, then,\u201d Little Joe shrugged, with innocent eyes. \u201cAfter all, you and he aren\u2019t friends; you\u2019re colleagues<\/em> and professional associates<\/em>, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, we\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere couldn\u2019t be any impropriety<\/em> in your associating with him, right? A dance is a public place, and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me, are you saying Adam\u2026Mr. Cartwright\u2026is the actual person issuing the invitation?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me tell you,\u201d Joe said proudly. \u201cAdam said to me, \u2018Joseph, it\u2019s a darn shame that Miss Tilly Hoffman can\u2019t even frequent a dance without having the people of Virginia City up in arms about it. We have to remedy this shameful situation.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Joe,\u201d Tilly chuckled. \u201cEven your brother Hoss thinks you\u2019re spreading the fertilizer a bit thick now. Issuing the invitation is one thing, but I can\u2019t see your brother speaking in that manner.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you ain\u2019t spoke with him that much yet,\u201d Hoss cut in, although he also thought Joe was laying things on a bit heavy.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is true,\u201d Joe sighed. \u201cOtherwise you\u2019d be wearin\u2019 glasses from squinting so hard. I\u2019ll tell ya, sometimes I listen to him five minutes and it feels like half the day\u2019s gone by. No wonder I\u2019m not more convincing at it. But I do know he would like to see you at the dance, Miss Tilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026in that case I guess I can\u2019t disappoint him. But I\u2019ll come alone; we\u2019ll meet there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s great!\u201d He lifted his beer to her, and she shrugged and lifted her lemonade to him. Hoss was already drinking his beer.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026Hoss\u2026may I ask a question about your brother? I don\u2019t want to pry, but I\u2019m curious about something. If the question is too personal just say so and I won\u2019t mention it again\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAsk away,\u201d Joe said, grinning over at Hoss. This could be fun.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs he in mourning?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nearly spewed his beer at that and looked at her, round-eyed. \u201cWhatever\u2019d make you think that, ma\u2019am?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe always wears black.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe smiled, because she had struck a nerve with that question. He didn\u2019t think Hoss had ever figured it out, but he was pretty sure he had. \u201cHe actually doesn\u2019t wear it all the time. Just four days a week. He\u2019s got some other shirts too, a couple nice blue ones, and he wears them the rest of the time.\u201d The food arrived then, and they began to eat.<\/p>\n

\u201cFour days a week?\u201d Tilly asked between bites. \u201cIs there some special significance to that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I think there is. See, around the time I came along Adam got into long pants, and Pa started giving him some say into how he dressed. And everybody remembers he asked for two black shirts, but nobody ever knew why. Only then, when I was four or five, my mother died. And Adam bought another black shirt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait a minute,\u201d Hoss interrupted. \u201cYou\u2019re sayin\u2019 he wears a black shirt for each of our mamas?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly\u2019s head tilted at that, but Joe was looking at Hoss and so did not see. \u201cNope. Remember, it was five years ago this May that he bought the fourth shirt.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s forehead crinkled in thought. \u201cGood Lord, it was right after Ross died.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYup. That\u2019s my story anyhow, and I\u2019m stickin\u2019 to it. Adam won\u2019t ever talk about Ross anymore; it\u2019s like pullin\u2019 teeth to get him to talk about my mama or yours, and he never even knew his own. But I think he has his own way of missing people. That\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho was Ross?\u201d Tilly asked in confusion. \u201cWas there another Cartwright brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

At that, both men\u2019s expressions became guarded.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, ma\u2019am,\u201d Little Joe said, knowing he\u2019d stepped over the line now. \u201cRoss was a friend of Adam\u2019s, and he died. That\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, now I know why there\u2019s so much gossip about your family. There sure are a lot of \u2018sub rosa<\/em>\u2019 things at the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that mean?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt means \u2018secrets,\u2019 Hoss.\u201d Tilly smiled. \u201cOne could earn a fortune writing that sort of thing in a dime novel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease don\u2019t ever say that again, Miss Tilly,\u201d Hoss said, with a pained expression. \u201cOne feller already tried. Nearly got Pa and Adam killed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry\u2026it was just a joke. I never thought\u2026\u201d Tilly pushed her plate away. \u201cMy mother used to tell me I had all the tact of a sledge hammer. I thank you for having lunch with me, though. I\u2019ll see you tomorrow night at the dance. I think I\u2019m looking forward to it, now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you grinnin\u2019 at?\u201d Hoss asked Joe as Tilly departed.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, nothin\u2019,\u201d Joe replied, still beaming. Nothing I would say out loud, Big Brother. After all, I just managed to invite Tilly to the dance in Adam\u2019s name without telling a single lie or even using the word \u2018invitation.\u2019 And Adam will have to go, to avoid shaming or embarrassing the girl. And if he goes, he\u2019ll end up in a good mood like he does after most dances, and maybe he\u2019ll take it easy on me and you for a couple of days.<\/em><\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Adam did go to the dance, albeit with a black eye and a loose back molar. Joe went as well, but sat most of the dances out since his abrupt collision with a chest-of-drawers had done a little damage to his left knee. He didn\u2019t drink much punch either, thanks to the bruise on his cheek that ended in a cut at his lip.<\/p>\n

Hoss was there too, with a lump on his head that had occurred after he had intervened in the combat. Not too wise, always playing the peacekeeper<\/em>, he reflected, especially when you don\u2019t even know what the fightin\u2019s about.<\/em><\/p>\n

But despite the events of the evening before, or the tense day that followed, everyone did enjoy the dance, even Adam. Tilly, happily ignorant of the state of things, had asked, \u201cWhat does the other fellow look like?\u201d not knowing that she was looking at all three of the \u201cother fellows.\u201d Joe said quickly, \u201cIt\u2019s just amazing how rambunctious those calves get come branding time.\u201d And both brothers fervently agreed. Tilly looked doubtful, but made no further comment, and Adam whisked her off for a waltz.<\/p>\n

Tilly wasn\u2019t very good at waltzing. She was nervous and it showed in the stiff, awkward way she moved. On the other hand, she was great at the heel-and-toe, a faster, livelier, and far less personal dance that involved elbow swings, slides, and frequent partner changes. She seemed quite comfortable in the heel-and-toe, so after two of those dances, Adam collected her for another waltz, thinking by now she would be relaxed enough to be graceful. But almost the minute he touched her, she stiffened again, murmuring, \u201cI\u2019m awfully sorry\u2026I think my stays are too tight\u2026would you mind if we just got some punch?\u201d<\/p>\n

Puzzled but agreeable, he took her to the punchbowl, where a simple query about whether she was ready for Monday somehow got into a deep discussion of Geoffrey Chaucer, and they spent the rest of the dance sitting in the corner arguing about whether or not the Wife of Bath<\/em> had made her five husbands miserable. A few brave souls ventured up to them at first, attempting to ask Tilly to dance, but finding her barely able to turn her head from this completely unintelligible conversation, they soon stopped trying. A lively punchbowl conversation soon sprang up, though, trying to figure out exactly what the pair was discussing, and which of them could have possibly been married five times, anyway?<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Much later, Adam would describe that as the best dance he had ever attended, and the two or three weeks that followed as among the happiest of his memories. It wasn\u2019t that anything special happened. They went to church the next day, and there, as expected, they found Will, Laura, and Peggy. They shut, at least momentarily, the gossiping mouths of Virginia City by the enthusiasm of their welcome to the returning family and insistence that they sit together in church. They even invited the family to dinner, although the new Cartwrights had a previous engagement and were unable to attend. Tilly, however, did attend as she had promised, and after the meal she and the three brothers spent most of the afternoon singing to the accompaniment of Adam\u2019s guitar. Lady even attempted to join in on one of the numbers, but was woefully off-key.<\/p>\n

About Lady herself, the supposed pretext of Tilly\u2019s visit, not much was accomplished. Tilly had already told them most of what she knew, and the only thing remaining was to show some of the hand signals she had seen her uncle\u2019s kennel master use while training a dog. Lady responded instantly to each signal easily enough, reinforcing Adam\u2019s despairing thought that somewhere out there, someone was looking for her.<\/p>\n

School began on Monday, and it seemed as if all Virginia City held its breath to see if Tilly would last the first day without ending up branded and hogtied on the school porch. When the entire week passed without incident, a few people sighed in relief while others proclaimed they had known it all along.<\/p>\n

Adam busied himself with the innovations he had planned for the Ponderosa. He saw Peggy at the mercantile on Saturday, and from her he learned that Queen Victoria was probably going to rule England for 50 or 60 years because queens lived longer than kings and were better at keeping the peace, too. Everybody knew that, Peggy said. \u201cAfter all, look how long Queen Elizabeth ruled, and how fast the country fell to pieces after she died\u2026\u201d as if she had known of England\u2019s existence before that week. If Peggy had only learned a scrap of British history Adam might have worried, but Peggy also reported a few bits of Nevada history that he recognized from the course he had developed, and she also quizzically asked him why George Washington was such a great general when he hadn\u2019t actually been the one who won any of his major battles. Before he could query her about that, though, she started telling him about fractions, and how they leap-frogged when you tried to divide them, and did he know that?<\/p>\n

He resolved to ask Tilly about a few of these things when he next saw her\u2026which turned out to be at the dance that night. He had just gone along with Joe and Hoss; she had turned up on the arm of a bank teller, which irked him for some reason, but he made sure he snagged her at the punchbowl and asked her how the week had gone. The conversation, however, went on a little longer than anyone planned, and at last the young bank teller decided to dance with someone else. After church the next day, Tilly again came home with them, and they sang half the afternoon away. Adam had been trying \u201cA La Una\u201d and played it on his guitar, and Tilly said he played it the way the Sephards had meant it to be played.<\/p>\n

Soon it was a regular occurrence\u2026every Friday Adam was in town getting reports from Peggy or one of her friends; every Saturday there was a dance. Adam escorted Tilly to a couple of them; other men escorted her to other dances, but however they started, they ended the same way\u2014with a literary, historical, philosophical or political debate around the punchbowl. A few other brave souls occasionally joined in, but seldom lasted. And every Sunday afternoon, Tilly was at the Ponderosa, playing with Lady, joking with Joe, Hoss, and Hop Sing, and singing or discussing odd things with Adam. The gossip about Tilly and her liking for Ponderosa men grew louder, but the Ponderosa men didn\u2019t know, and Tilly didn\u2019t tell. Besides, the gossips soon found other things to occupy their minds, like the arrival of the Pinkerton detectives in Virginia City\u2014not one or two, but ten.<\/p>\n

As for the trespassers, the first sign Adam had found on the day he found Lady, and the last sign which had evaporated with Lady\u2019s chasing off the red-haired boy\u2014Adam was about to declare that danger over. Until he happened to think of one thing Joe and Hoss had mentioned, and he brought it up at dinner one night.<\/p>\n

\u201cThose two hands that up and quit\u2026what section of fence were they riding?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe south pasture,\u201d Hoss replied with his mouth full, making his answer sound like \u201cshowf-pasha.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam rolled his eyes. \u201cHoss, watching you eat is a sure cure for the appetite. Who\u2019s been riding that section since they left?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shrugged. \u201cNobody, I guess, but then if it\u2019s not on one of your schedules nobody does it. You know everybody takes those schedules like holy scrolls.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBesides, you said Lady had scared them squatters away good \u2019n\u2019 proper,\u201d Hoss reminded him.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m an idiot.<\/em> Adam shook his head. \u201cIndulge me, fellas. Joe, I want you to ride up there tomorrow, all the way to the lake and back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s gonna take a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that\u2019s not all. Then I want you to get outside the fence and make sure there\u2019s no recent signs of anybody being around. Take Lady along; she\u2019s great at that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, I get to go sparkin\u2019 Adam\u2019s favorite lady!\u201d Joe chuckled. \u201cC\u2019mere girl, Adam\u2019s not the only one who knows what you like\u2026wanna green bean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGreen beans or no, Lady\u2019s got competition,\u201d Hoss said with a grin. \u201cI\u2019m thinkin\u2019 our little Tilly the schoolteacher might give Lady a real run for her money.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh? What are you talking about?\u201d Adam\u2019s eyes widened. \u201cDon\u2019t be silly\u2014we\u2019re\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cProfessional associates,\u201d Joe and Hoss said simultaneously, eyeing each other. Joe smiled. \u201cColleagues. Employer-employee. Only one day you\u2019ll have to tell me, which one of you\u2019s the boss?\u201d<\/p>\n

Shooting a glare at his brothers, Adam got up and went to work on his neglected ledgers.<\/p>\n

Chapter 5<\/strong><\/p>\n

The weather was changing, and Cochise was prancing and tossing his head, wanting to run. Joe held him in, not by choice but by duty. It was difficult enough to do the kind of inspection\/investigation Adam wanted, but at the speed Cochise wanted to go, it was impossible. Unreasonable<\/em>, Joe thought, that\u2019s what this whole thing is. Adam\u2019s downright obsessed, thinking someone\u2019s living in the middle of our pasture and we don\u2019t know it.<\/em> Rather a mutinous observation to make, but when Adam got a thought in his head there was nothing anyone could say or do to persuade him different.<\/p>\n

The grass on this side of the fence was raggedly chewed; on the other side\u2014once you got past the space where a stubborn cow might poke its head through\u2014it was almost waist high. Soon enough the grass would die, he thought; they needed to round up the bunch up here and bring them down into the eastern valley, where they would pass the winter. Probably in two or three weeks\u2026and again he grinned\u2026of course it all depended on Older Brother\u2019s scheduling. Older Brother ran his life\u2014and everybody else\u2019s\u2014by a schedule.<\/p>\n

Cochise twitched nervously, and stared off to the woods on the other side of the fence, close to a hundred yards away. Joe stroked his neck soothingly. \u201c\u2019Smatter, Cooch? Gettin\u2019 fussy in your old age?\u201d Then he happened to look down, to see Lady standing beside him, her fur standing on end, making her look half-again her normal size. \u201cLady?\u201d She looked up at him, and then out through the fence again. Let\u2019s flush \u2019em out, then.<\/em> \u201cLady,\u201d he commanded softly. \u201cGo get him!\u201d She didn\u2019t wait for clarification, bounding through the fence and disappearing in the high grass. Something was definitely wrong. Cochise, his ears flat against his head, whirled, poised for flight. Joe reined him in and twisted in the saddle, looking around, his hand drawing the gun from its holster, and just about the time he saw the early-morning sun glinting off something metallic, just a second or two before he heard the high-pitched scream, the shot rang out and something smacked into him, knocking him off Cochise and slamming him onto the ground.<\/p>\n

When he opened his eyes again Lady had come back, her snout and chest bloody, and she was licking his face with a worried expression on her own. Joe could barely keep his eyes focused on her, but he did know the blood wasn\u2019t hers. On the other hand, the stuff spreading through the brownish grass was certainly his. \u201cLady,\u201d he whispered, \u201cgo get Hoss\u2026go get Hoss. Quick.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss were going into town together for some supplies Adam had neglected to order. Personally, Hoss thought this oversight was just an excuse for Adam to get into town; he was pretty sure Adam had visited Virginia City more in the last two months than in the previous 12 months combined. He was also pretty sure that Adam\u2019s reason for going to town had more to do with the schoolmarm than any other explanation given\u2014not that he would have voiced that opinion. Adam could be mighty mean when provoked. But he didn\u2019t seem the least bit mean when the teacher was around; in fact, he seemed kinda happy\u2014and a happy Adam was way more fun to be around than a mean, grumpy one.<\/p>\n

They were trotting along in companionable silence aboard Beauty and Chubb and had just gotten a couple of miles from the house when they heard a gunshot. There was only one, so it wasn\u2019t a signal from Joe\u2026but it did make them wonder. They reined in. \u201cThink we oughtta go back?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

Adam thought for a minute. \u201cYeah\u2026darnfool kid probably shot himself in the foot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t sound like it came from the house,\u201d Hoss observed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was on his way out to the south pasture\u2014let\u2019s cut through here and see what we can find.\u201d<\/p>\n

They began picking their way through the woods\u2014to hear Lady, barking at the top of her lungs, and a minute later she burst through the underbrush like a silver blaze. One look at her was enough to set them staring\u2014her muzzle and ruff were doused with blood.<\/p>\n

\u201cLady, go get Joe!\u201d Hoss ordered, and the dog whirled about to show them the way.<\/p>\n

It took a good 15 minutes to reach the fence line, but Joe was visible from a long distance; he was lying on his stomach facing toward the Ponderosa, his green jacket unnaturally bright against the dying grass. He was unconscious when they reached him, and missed their terrified mutterings of prayers and curses; he was still out when they started pushing handkerchiefs and bandanas into his back and his chest in an attempt to stop the bleeding.<\/p>\n

But he did come around briefly, while Adam picked him up and Hoss mounted Chubb. \u201cDidya see Adam\u2026\u201d he murmured with a ghost of a grin, \u201cShe set that\u2026buzzard straight all right\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, buddy, she did good,\u201d Adam responded, with no idea what Joe meant. Hoss leaned down from Chubb and took Joe then, holding him like a baby in his arms.<\/p>\n

\u201cRide like hell, brother,\u201d Hoss whispered prayerfully. \u201cBullet was just under the collarbone\u2014there ain\u2019t no way there should be this much blood. And as much pressure I\u2019m puttin\u2019 on, it still ain\u2019t stoppin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded, swinging up on Beauty. \u201cGet going. Take Lady with you.\u201d Hoss called Lady and headed back to the house without another word. Adam turned and galloped back through the woods to the road, remembering the day Hoss and Joe had played with Lady out in the corral, teaching her to \u201cgo get\u201d each other. Funny, he\u2019d thought it was silly at the time.<\/p>\n

But the only thing he could think of as he tore down the road to Virginia City was \u201cJoe can\u2019t die.\u201d He knew Joe couldn\u2019t die, because Joe was the baby, and babies weren\u2019t supposed to die before the old guys. And besides\u2026Pa and Hoss would be devastated.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t waste time wondering at the effect on himself.<\/p>\n

He was bent double over the big gelding, hugging its neck as he urged him to more speed. Virginia City had never seemed farther away than at this minute. He thought of all the other times one of them had had to make the dreaded ride\u2026times like these he missed Boston. They practically had a doctor on every street\u2026he had told Hoss and Joe that very thing once, and they had laughed wildly at the foolishness of such an idea.<\/p>\n

It was just a little after nine, and there was Doc Martin coming out of his office, no medical bag in his hand, no harassed look in his expression. He was grinning broadly and carrying a fishing pole of all things. Portrait of a man whose out-of-town trip was about to take a different direction.<\/p>\n

Adam pulled Beauty to a skidding halt that had the outraged horse half-rearing in the street. \u201cDoc, you\u2019ve got to get out to the house\u2014Joe\u2019s been shot. It\u2019s bad. He won\u2019t stop bleeding.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul Martin just looked at him for a second. \u201cI\u2019ll get my bag.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGet the one that\u2019s got a miracle in it,\u201d Adam said grimly. \u201cI\u2019m going for Roy. Then I\u2019ll have to change horses\u2014but don\u2019t wait for me. I\u2019ll catch you up.\u201d<\/p>\n

He woke Roy none too gently from an afternoon nap at his desk, explained the situation as quickly as he could, and then rushed to the livery stable as Roy began to assemble a posse.<\/p>\n

Speeding back home, for some reason Adam found his mind going back to the time he, Philip Diedesheimer, and Paul Martin had gotten drunk and toasted the future of mankind in the Sazarac. Mainly, he was remembering the one innovation Paul had been so worked up about\u2026and why in the name of God didn\u2019t it work?<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

When he ran up the stairs and into Joe\u2019s room he knew the news was bad; Hoss had tears coursing freely down his cheeks and had the unfortunate doctor\u2019s arm in a bruising grip. \u201cNot with all that education you got,\u201d he was saying. \u201cNot with all the other times you\u2019ve said it\u2019s up to the Lord and everything was fine. You can\u2019t just give up cold.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shivering inside, Adam approached the two. Paul was bent over Little Joe and probing the still-bleeding wound\u2026Little Joe was looking like a wax impression, unmoving, but his breathing was rapid and shallow, like a panting dog. Hoss looked desperately at Adam. \u201cHe says there\u2019s nothing to be done\u2014says Little Joe\u2019s lost too much blood\u2026tell him he\u2019s wrong, Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe IS wrong, Hoss,\u201d Adam said with grim determination. \u201cPaul, you can fix this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I\u2019m sorry\u2026do you think I rode all the way out here to tell you there\u2019s no way to save him?\u201d Paul replied gently. \u201cThat bullet didn\u2019t just crack his collarbone. It ricocheted off and cut through the subclavian vein\u2014that\u2019s a big vein, as thick as your little finger. I started stitching, but he\u2019ll bleed out before I get done. He\u2019s lost almost 30% of his blood volume already; he\u2019s in shock and his heart\u2019s going faster than a racehorse\u2026as it is I can give him something to make it a little easier\u2026maybe give you time to say goodb\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d Adam snapped. \u201cNobody\u2019s saying goodbye. Don\u2019t you remember? That night we talked about transferring blood from one person to another? Well, I\u2019m right here, Paul, so is Hoss, and between the two of us\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean we can\u2014give our own blood to Little Joe?\u201d Hoss cried, looking from one to the other. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you say so before?\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor shouted, \u201cYou were only half-listening, Adam! Yes, we can do it, but it works about one time out of ten! The odds are so bad that in the whole Civil War we only tried it twice, and one of them still died!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right!\u201d Adam replied. \u201cIt\u2019s a damned small chance\u2014but it\u2019s better than no chance at all, which is what you\u2019re giving him by doing nothing. I know you\u2019ve got the equipment to do it\u2014you showed it to me that night and said you wished you could have a chance to use it. Well, I volunteer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul wavered. \u201cIt probably won\u2019t work, Adam\u2014and you might die too, if there\u2019s a backwash\u2026We don\u2019t know how or why the process works sometimes and doesn\u2019t others\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll argue about it some other time,\u201d Hoss cut in. \u201cTell us what to do to get ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBring a bunk bed in, and a lot of pillows. The donor needs to be up higher than the receiver. Gravity\u2026Blundell used a pump. I don\u2019t have one\u2026\u201d He shook his head. \u201cThere\u2019s a guy in France who claims\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis ain\u2019t France,\u201d Hoss yelled over his shoulder on his way out. \u201cFigure out how to do it right here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis isn\u2019t going to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShut up,\u201d Adam said. \u201cDoc, tell Hop Sing what you need from him, and either sew that damn vein or hold it together with your hands until we get back.\u201d<\/p>\n

They dashed for the bunkhouse and brought back the one nearest the door. With minimal cursing, they got it to the top of the stairs and into the room next to Joe\u2019s bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet into your nightclothes, whichever of you is going to be the donor,\u201d Paul said without looking up, continuing to sew. \u201cYou\u2019ll be lying down for a long time. And I mean a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, round up the pillows,\u201d Adam ordered. \u201cI\u2019ll get my nightshirt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou<\/em> get the pillows,\u201d Hoss replied. \u201cWe both know who\u2019s got the most blood here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, I\u2019m the oldest\u2014\u201d that was as far as he got before the huge fist slammed into his jaw and sent him crashing into the wall and sliding down to the floor.<\/p>\n

Hoss looked at Paul Martin. \u201cBe right back. You do what you need to do.\u201d Martin glanced at Adam, then returned to Joe as Hop Sing came in with two steaming buckets of water.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat else I get?\u201d Hop Sing asked, also careful not to pay any attention to Adam, who was shaking his head, trying to see if he had any teeth left.<\/p>\n

\u201cTowels\u2026and whatever else you can think of,\u201d Martin replied.<\/p>\n

By the time Hoss came back, pillows and cushions under each arm and his nightshirt gripped in his teeth, Adam was struggling to his feet and glaring for all he was worth at his bigger brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Adam,\u201d Hoss said quickly as Adam came over.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo you\u2019re not,\u201d Adam muttered, grabbing a pillow. \u201cGet changed\u2026I\u2019ll set the bed up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul wiped his hands on a towel and moved to his medical bag. He removed a small glass jar with two large, hollow needles, and a long, thin tube made of cow intestine. \u201cPour some hot water through this,\u201d he said, handing the tube to Adam. \u201cAnd wash these.\u201d Paul handed him the two long needles. Wiping his mouth on his fist, Adam complied. When he got back, Paul inserted a needle into either end of the tube.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss,\u201d Paul said, tying a tourniquet around Joe\u2019s right arm, \u201cthis is dangerous, you need to understand. You\u2019re a big fella, you\u2019ve got maybe up to seven quarts of blood in your body. I\u2019m gonna be taking a lot of it to put into Little Joe, because I\u2019ve got to keep him from bleeding to death AND I\u2019ve got to sew that vein up. If I take too much blood from you, you\u2019ll die. If I can\u2019t get you to stop bleeding when it\u2019s done, you\u2019ll die. You also need to understand, if there\u2019s any kind of backwash, and his blood comes back into your body, you might have a reaction to it and then you could\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI said we\u2019d argue later,\u201d Hoss said in a low voice. Paul sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat else can I do?\u201d Adam asked quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can get out and let me work. Go pray.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Hoss said softly. \u201cHe can pray just as well up here as downstairs. And, Adam\u2026it might be askin\u2019 some after that trick I pulled, but\u2026will you stay by me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, Hoss.\u201d He joined Hoss on the other side.<\/p>\n

Hoss looked over at the still form of his younger brother. \u201cSure is quiet, ain\u2019t he. Don\u2019t look natural if he ain\u2019t skitterin\u2019 around like a bat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Adam whispered.<\/p>\n

Paul looked over at Hoss. \u201cI\u2019m going to put this needle into the big vein in your arm, Hoss. It\u2019s going to hurt some. Don\u2019t fight it and don\u2019t move.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss laughed weakly. \u201cHe don\u2019t ask for much, eh Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to do this myself, you big galoot\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShhh. Let me work,\u201d Paul said. \u201cHoss, you keep still and quit yer bellyachin\u2019. If this was Petersburg I\u2019d be stickin\u2019 a syringe into your neck every ten minutes\u2014but we don\u2019t have time for that now.\u201d Hoss winced and the needle was in. Paul pushed it in further, and quickly tied it down with a length of twine wrapped several times around the arm. \u201cNow don\u2019t move. You move, that needle comes loose, we\u2019re in a world of hurt. Anything from yanking the needle out and bleeding everywhere to getting an air bubble.\u201d He released the tourniquet and turned back to Joe, who had already had the other needle inserted into his arm and tied down. Carefully he released the tourniquet on Joe\u2019s arm as well. Looking at Hoss, he asked, \u201cFeel anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot much\u2026arm\u2019s a little cold, maybe. I\u2019m okay. Adam, I didn\u2019t hurt you much, did I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust my pride.\u201d Adam faked a grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cI pulled it at the last,\u201d Hoss said in concern.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could tell. It wasn\u2019t the first time. At least this time the world didn\u2019t go completely black.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShhhh.\u201d Paul was listening to Joe\u2019s heart. \u201cIt\u2019s settling down a little. That\u2019s a good thing. Everybody keep quiet. I\u2019m gonna go back in and finish that vein now, before Hoss loses consciousness.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t never passed out in my life,\u201d Hoss said, swallowing thickly. \u201cWhy would I start now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, Hoss, you\u2019ll be fine,\u201d Adam said, hoping he sounded authoritative.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing came in, carrying an armload of towels and a glass jar full of salt. He put them down on the bed near where the doctor was standing, and crept back to Adam. \u201cSheriff here with posse.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam thought for a minute. \u201cI\u2019m not leaving here. Ask Mutton Jim to take them out to the south pasture fence line, and follow the line southwest. Jim knows the way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing nodded, looked back at Hoss and Joe, and swallowed. \u201cEverything be fine, Mr. Adam.\u201d He smiled; Adam, lost in his own thoughts, just nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc,\u201d Adam began.<\/p>\n

\u201cShhh. This ain\u2019t easy, in case you haven\u2019t noticed. Like trying to sew buttered leather at night in a downpour.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow fast will you know if it\u2019s working?\u201d Adam asked anyway, trying not to sound anxious.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it\u2019s not<\/em> working, we\u2019ll know fast enough. At the worst, he\u2019ll have a heart attack. That\u2019s why I keep listening. So far his heart\u2019s still going too fast, but it\u2019s not irregular. There could still be a less deadly but very dangerous reaction, and then he\u2019d be shivering, shooting up a fever, or the puncture site would turn red and burn enough to wake him up from the pain. That\u2019s the way it usually goes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019ll you do\u2026if he starts showin\u2019 any of those signs?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI shut this whole thing down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you don\u2019t,\u201d Adam insisted. \u201cYou wash out the tube and needles and start again with me. One of us is bound to be right. We\u2019re family, we ought to have the same kind of blood.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not how it works!\u201d Paul\u2019s angry reply came back. \u201cI told you, we haven\u2019t figured out why it works sometimes and doesn\u2019t work others. The best theory is that different people have different kinds of blood, but we don\u2019t know how to tell them apart. And even in a family, it\u2019s not always the same\u2014and it doesn\u2019t matter if Joe is able to accept Hoss\u2019s blood, because Hoss might not be able to accept Joe\u2019s if there\u2019s a backwash. Besides, you\u2019re not even full brothers. You\u2019re only half-brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re not HALF anything,\u201d Hoss yelled back. \u201cWe\u2019re all full-blooded Cartwrights!\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul checked the tubing. \u201cHoss, keep still! Adam, we just don\u2019t know\u2014science has a long way to go before we figure out the human body. Now both of you shut up and let me do this!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss reached out, and Adam took his hand and squeezed.\u00a0 \u201cAdam\u2026Adam, I feel funny\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam patted Hoss\u2019s shoulder with his free hand. \u201cThink about it, Hoss\u2014you\u2019re bleeding now, even if you can\u2019t feel it. That\u2019s gonna weaken you, just like if you were bleeding from a wound. You have to keep quiet and still.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s eyes glazed. \u201cOh, brother\u2026I think I\u2019m gonna be sick\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grabbed the wash basin and moved it into position just in time. Then he took a towel to clean Hoss\u2019s face\u2026and his own shirt, as Hoss\u2019s aim had been less than perfect. Paul Martin ignored them, his eyes moving back and forth between Hoss and Joe, looking, Adam supposed, for some sign of a reaction. Little Joe was as still as before, limp and unresponsive. Hoss looked seasick.<\/p>\n

Looking over at Paul, Adam demanded, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on? Why\u2019s Hoss getting sick?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou said it yourself, Adam. He\u2019s losing blood.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs Joe takin\u2019 it okay?\u201d Hoss put in, craning his neck to look.<\/p>\n

\u201cSeems to be,\u201d Adam whispered. Hoss was gripping his hand so hard it hurt.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat you said before, about me hittin\u2019 you\u2026I\u2019m awful sorry about Regan\u2026and Helen\u2026I knew you was just\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about it, Hoss. Over and done with a long time ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d He had to make a real effort to keep his voice level; Hoss was crushing his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs the ceiling moving?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d He looked up at the ceiling and back at Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, the ceiling\u2019s not moving.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was\u2026afraid a\u2019that. What makes people get dizzy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDifferent things\u2026are you dizzy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss swallowed that funny way again, and turned green.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou need the bowl again, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul looked up from his stitching, and produced a bloody red finger to shake at Adam as Hoss heaved into the basin. \u201cKeep him quiet! He\u2019s shaking, and when Hoss shakes, the whole damn room shakes. I\u2019m nearly done\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s frustration was rising to the surface\u2014the shaking was hardly anything he or Hoss could do anything about\u2014but the last thing Joe needed was for Paul to become distracted. He kept quiet and eased Hoss back against the pillows.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Hoss whispered again.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, buddy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m tired\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay,\u201d Adam said soothingly, not sure if it was true. \u201cKeep your eyes closed and just relax.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cToo tired to open my eyes,\u201d Hoss whispered again. \u201cThink I might just\u2026pass out after all. I shoulda wrote Pa last weekend, Adam. I meant to, but\u2026so tired\u2026I think I gotta sleep now. But we ain\u2019t been up that long\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked anxiously over at Paul. How long was this process supposed to go on, anyway? How fast was Hoss losing blood? How much could he lose before he was in danger?<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026is it okay to be a little bit skeered?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam swallowed. \u201cHoss, you ain\u2019t ever been scared of anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be, buddy. Just hold my hand. We\u2019re nearly done, I\u2019m sure of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWish\u2026Lady was here. She always\u2026makes me\u2026feel better\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll bring her in later. Just stick with me, brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was no reply, but the painful pressure on his hand relaxed.<\/p>\n

\u201cPaul, he\u2019s unconscious!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Adam\u2026one more minute\u2026\u201d Adam began flexing his sore hand, keeping the other on Hoss\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n

A few minutes later Paul turned back to Hoss, wiping his bloodied hands on a towel. \u201cOkay, Adam, get over there and be ready to put that tourniquet back on Joe\u2019s arm while I do the same for Hoss.\u201d Ignoring the pain in his hand, Adam did so, looking carefully at the part of Joe\u2019s arm where the needle stuck out. It was a little pink, but not red. And Joe\u2019s face was still pale, but it had lost that waxy look.<\/p>\n

Hoss was also pale, but Paul listened to his heart and nodded, satisfied. \u201cJust a minute or two longer, Adam. Gotta finish the muscle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you kidding?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo; he can lose a little more, I think\u2026I just want to be sure Joe\u2019s got enough. Damn, I wish I had some leeches\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

At Adam\u2019s stare he shrugged. \u201cThey\u2019d keep the puncture area from getting inflamed. Okay now\u2026\u201d He pulled Hoss\u2019s hand up, removed the needle in one swift motion, and clamped the towel down on the puncture, still holding the arm up. \u201cYou saw how I did that, right Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou do the same for Joe\u2014and really hold that towel down. We don\u2019t want all that nice new blood coming back out.\u201d Feeling sick to his stomach, Adam applied the tourniquet and pulled the needle out, pulling up Joe\u2019s arm and pressing the towel down over the puncture site. \u201cNow what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRemove the tourniquet\u2026keep that pressure on and wait and make sure it\u2019s really quit bleeding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy did Hoss faint?\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul laughed without much humor. \u201cBlood loss, of course. I probably took about three pints out of him. Not real sure since we didn\u2019t have a good way to measure it. I was just going by time and how fast I thought the blood flowed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs he in any danger?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot as long as the bleeding stops where I put the hole in his vein. Lift Joe\u2019s arm a little higher\u2026good.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul pronounced it safe to bandage the arms. \u201cThat went well, Adam; better than I expected\u2026Joe\u2019s not out of the woods yet, but I\u2019m thinking that as long as he doesn\u2019t have a major reaction in the next few hours, he\u2019s got a fighting chance. I\u2019m glad you talked me into it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry that much persuasion was necessary.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul shrugged. \u201cPeople get less inclined to take chances as they get older. Twenty years ago I would\u2019ve been pulling at the bit. And yeah, I was still pulling five years ago, too. Look, the important thing is now. If Joe makes it through the night, I\u2019m pretty sure he\u2019ll be okay\u2026provided there\u2019s no major infection of course.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what the salt is for?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, keep it handy. And listen, Hoss is gonna be weak and dizzy for a couple of days. And him being Hoss, he won\u2019t find that easy to take. Give them both lots of broth with the bone marrow in. It\u2019ll help build their blood back. I don\u2019t want to bandage up Joe\u2019s wound just yet. The bullet went in the back and came out the front, and now that the bleeding\u2019s stopped I\u2019d really like to let it dry a bit before I cover it up. So I think in a few hours you and Hop Sing should turn him over, and let the back get a little air, too. Then turn him back again. Tomorrow I\u2019ll see what everything looks like and decide what to do next.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled faintly. \u201cAt least you sound like you think they\u2019ll both be here tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cChances seem pretty good. I need to leave by seven, though; there\u2019s a shipment of morphine coming in on the late stage that I have to sign for. I just gave the last of my supply to Little Joe, so he\u2019ll need another dose in the morning. It\u2019s not likely, but if he wakes up hurting tonight, give him a little laudanum if you have any; otherwise some of the smoothest brandy you\u2019ve got. I\u2019ll be back in the morning, early. Adam\u2026there\u2019s still a lot that can go wrong in the first few hours\u2014wish I could stay longer\u2014although to tell you the truth, at this point, we\u2019re committed. Keep an eye on him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d Adam said. \u201cPaul\u2026thanks. Sorry I was a little, um\u2026rude.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul shrugged, smiling. \u201cThink you\u2019re the first Cartwright to ever disagree with me? By the way, Adam\u2026might not want to publicize what we just did. We still don\u2019t know what makes it work, and I can\u2019t go \u2019round just trying this at a whim.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t see much whimsical about it,\u201d Adam muttered.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing stuck his head in. \u201cEverything okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe hope so,\u201d Paul said.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood. Mr. Adam, sheriff here. Also need doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe? What for?\u201d Paul asked.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing shrugged. \u201cBring man with arm bloody.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam clenched his fists and headed down the stairs, closely followed by the doctor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter 6<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mutton Jim had taken the posse out to the fence line. Within a few minutes they had located the scene of the shooting, clipped the perimeter wire and gone on to look for the shooter. And to their great surprise they found a red-haired youngster and a man Mutton Jim recognized as Orlow Bender, one of the two recently departed ranch hands.<\/p>\n

Bender\u2019s howls of pain had been the main factor assisting them in locating the pair, who, judging from the blood trails in the crushed grass, had been in the middle of the clearing when the shot was fired, and had beat a hasty retreat to the woodline after his injury. And as to the injury itself, he had multiple slashes on his right arm that looked something like wolf bites. Bender himself was in too much pain to explain anything, but the red-haired kid had informed Sheriff Coffee that they were minding their own business when a wolf had attacked them and with no provocation or warning. Sure, they had fired a shot, but they had only fired at the wolf, and it wasn\u2019t their fault if some jackass on a horse happened to get in the way.<\/p>\n

All this Roy explained briefly to Adam while Paul muttered and swore and saw to Bender\u2019s arm. And Adam listened in something that might have been incredulous amusement if he hadn\u2019t had two brothers lying unconscious just upstairs. Ignoring Bender, he turned to the red-haired kid, whose name, he had learned, was Dex. \u201cSo that\u2019s the way it happened, huh?\u201d he asked quietly, but turned the full power of the Cartwright stare onto the kid\u2014who would not meet his eyes for more than a couple of seconds.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou callin\u2019 me a liar?\u201d the kid snarled.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure it was a wolf that went after you?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was a wolf all right. Long and lean and big yeller eyes and he liked to tore my uncle\u2019s arm off.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat were you doing on our property to begin with?\u201d<\/p>\n

Dex looked down at the ground. \u201cWasn\u2019t no fence.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd didn\u2019t I tell you last month when I chased you off that our land was posted, and didn\u2019t I point out to you exactly where it started?\u201d<\/p>\n

The kid looked up at him then, and smiled. He looked unfriendly without the smile; he looked hateful with it. \u201cI ain\u2019t never seen you before, Mister. I dunno you from Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFunny,\u201d Adam said. \u201cI do believe I introduced myself to you, and I may even have used my name\u2014Adam. But if you don\u2019t remember me, that\u2019s fine. I bet you remember who was with me, though, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDunno what you mean!\u201d the kid yelped. \u201cSheriff, I wanna bring charges. He\u2019s callin\u2019 me a liar!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Roy said gently, \u201cI can\u2019t rightly follow your line of questioning. It\u2019s plain that some kind of critter did attack them, and I don\u2019t know a wolf around here that\u2019s been tamed. Now I can arrest these two for trespassing if you like, but it\u2019s their word against yours that they shot Little Joe a\u2019 purpose. And you weren\u2019t even there, ain\u2019t that right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a minute, Roy,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cCan you come with me for a minute? Someone I want you to meet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy followed him, looking even more confused than usual. \u201cAdam, what are you up to?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait here for a minute,\u201d Adam said, opening the barn door and stepping in, to be hit by a silent, silver-white ball of fur that jumped on his chest and bestowed large sloppy kisses everywhere she could reach. Well, someone must have given her a bath; the blood was gone and she was a little damp. He patted her briefly and then said \u201cOff\u2014sit!\u201d Lady sat down reluctantly, quivering all over. \u201cCome on in, Roy,\u201d Adam called.<\/p>\n

Lady had learned by now that when her people invited others in, she was not to bark. However, it didn\u2019t mean she had to like their being there. She looked Roy up and down, woofed softly in disgust, and turned back to Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the dickens is that?\u201d Roy asked. \u201cIt certainly ain\u2019t a wolf, but it\u2019s about the funniest lookin\u2019 dog I ever saw. Where\u2019d she get that long, skinny snout and all them black freckles?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cPretty well behaved, though, don\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI reckon, but you have her tied up, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go outside,\u201d Adam said softly, with an almost wolf-like smile of his own that made Roy uncomfortable. \u201cLady, let\u2019s go. Lady\u2014close.\u201d<\/p>\n

She bunched herself against Adam\u2019s left leg, still darting suspicious glances at Roy, and the three went back outside. She snarled softly at the half-dozen posse members standing around, but went quiet at Adam\u2019s warning.<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy, you see there\u2019s no rope on the dog, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, guess so! Why?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you say she\u2019s still pretty well behaved? Obedient to commands?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeems so.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lady saw\u2014or more likely smelled\u2014the red-headed kid, and the growl she emitted turned the kid deathly white. She didn\u2019t move from Adam\u2019s side, but he could feel her trembling against him.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you do it!\u201d the kid screamed. \u201cI swore I\u2019d have her pelt before and so help me\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, but we never met before, isn\u2019t that what you said?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGet her outta here or I\u2019ll kill her!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think it might be the other way around. And her eyes are BLUE.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was Seddy Williams, first in line to get his face slapped by every woman who misunderstood his mumbling, first to trip over things that weren\u2019t there\u2014a hard luck case\u2019s worst case of hard luck\u2014who had the misfortune to be standing next to the kid, and it was Seddy\u2019s holster that the kid reached for. And for Adam it was all the justification needed. But he didn\u2019t go for his own gun. He just said, \u201cLady, get him.\u201d And by the time the kid had raised the pistol, 65 pounds of wrathful collie had landed on his chest. The gun blew a hole through the wall of the barn, just under the roof, but Adam\u2019s voice rang out again just as Lady\u2019s teeth tore into the boy\u2019s sleeve. \u201cLady, OFF! OFF!\u201d<\/p>\n

There was no mistaking the look on the dog\u2019s face. Any kid who\u2019s ever been given the toy he wanted most in the world\u2014and then told to eat his liver-and-onion dinner before playtime\u2014had the same expression. But she backed slowly away from Dex: silent, rigid, her blue eyes fixed on him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI told you that thing attacked us!\u201d The kid screamed as Roy approached with handcuffs.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you didn\u2019t,\u201d Roy said calmly. \u201cYou said it was a wild wolf, and even I can see it\u2019s a tame dog. And this dog doesn\u2019t like you, boy, but she didn\u2019t attack you until her master told her to, and she stopped when he told her to as well\u2014and without even drawin\u2019 blood. This is a trained beast. So I\u2019d just about bet she didn\u2019t go after you this morning unless Joe told her to\u2014and Joe wouldn\u2019t\u2019ve done that without one heck of a good reason. And in case you didn\u2019t know, grabbin\u2019 the gun from the holster of a deputy sheriff is considered an assault on an officer of the law. Iffen I was you I\u2019d be real quiet like a little church mouse from now on, or you\u2019re gonner end up UNDER the jail. Do you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy,\u201d Adam said in his most level tone, \u201cat some point, I\u2019d just about bet someone\u2019s going to want to post bail on these two. I wouldn\u2019t do it if I were you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s for the judge to decide.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d Adam shrugged, his eyes on Bender and Dex. \u201cBut I\u2019m telling you for their protection. Because if either of my brothers should happen to die, I\u2019m going to take my dog on a hunt for these two and when we find them, we\u2019ll tear \u2019em apart, limb from limb.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Adam was sitting in Little Joe\u2019s room watching his two brothers and feeling as if he had just lived an entire week in that one day. He couldn\u2019t remember ever in his life being more tired\u2014and yet he didn\u2019t dare go to sleep, because if he did, something might happen. There wasn\u2019t enough room for a chair between the two beds, so he had pulled it over by Hoss\u2019s bunk. That way he could look at both of them.<\/p>\n

They weren\u2019t out of the woods yet, Paul had said. But, so far, Joe\u2019s blood didn\u2019t seem at odds with Hoss\u2019s, although Adam couldn\u2019t see how anyone could object to Hoss\u2019s blood; surely any blood of Hoss\u2019s had to be as easygoing as the rest of him.<\/p>\n

The posse was long gone, having borrowed a wagon to take Orlow Bender and the hateful kid, Dex, to jail. No one else had been found in the woods. Both Orlow and Dex insisted there was no one else, but Adam was fairly certain that the other hired hand, Biggs, was hiding somewhere back there, for what purpose he had no idea. \u201cProbably find out soon enough,\u201d he muttered to no one.<\/p>\n

He picked up his copy of Les Mis\u00e9rables<\/em>, hoping Hugo had written some particularly interesting stuff in the section he\u2019d be reading. Otherwise he\u2019d fall asleep right over the book.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing came in with a large cup of coffee for him. \u201cBoys wake up?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot yet. They probably won\u2019t, tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen why not you rest? Need strength to care for brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn a little while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine. I bring up dinner. Then you rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn a little while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo eat now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn a little while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Adam,\u201d Hop Sing finally sighed. \u201cNot say good in poor English but must try. You not God, even if think so. What happens, must happen. Whether you wish or not. Whether you there or not.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked at him. \u201cYou said it just fine, Hop Sing. Thank you.\u201d He jerked his head toward the door. \u201cI\u2019ll eat in a little while.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing glided back to the door. After two more vain attempts in the intervening hours, he put the food away.<\/p>\n

It was a long and silent night. Neither Hoss nor Joe regained consciousness. In fact, Adam\u2014the worrywart, they had called him more than once\u2014found himself patrolling from one bed to the other time and again, just to make sure they were still breathing. He felt as if the room got smaller with every breath he took. And he couldn\u2019t keep reading. The book\u2019s hero, Jean Valjean, was now hiding in a coffin to escape the police, and the coffin was being buried. The last thing Adam wanted to think of right then was coffins and burials. But perhaps he should write his father\u2026he shook his head. \u201cEven if they let him go, by the time he got here it would all be over one way or another. Worse, if they don\u2019t let him go, he\u2019ll be stuck out there worrying.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nope. There was nothing for it but to keep on going as best he could. When\u2014and he had to make himself say \u201cwhen\u201d and not \u201cif\u201d\u2014both brothers were better, he would write to Pa, minimizing the injuries and assuring him that everyone was fine.<\/p>\n

Doc Martin returned at dawn, bringing morphine. Joe had not yet regained consciousness, but he had moaned and shifted several times, enough that Adam knew he was hurting and had risked spooning a little laudanum into him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou up all night?\u201d Paul asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs this the part where you give me a speech about the importance of rest?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I figure you\u2019ve heard it before,\u201d Paul said. \u201cAnd if you\u2019re too stubborn, or too stupid, to recognize the symptoms, then it\u2019s a waste of my valuable time. Just make sure you\u2019ve got a couple of hands near the ranch today or tomorrow, because you\u2019re gonna end up on the floor, and Hop Sing can\u2019t lift you by himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled. \u201cYou\u2019re a good friend, Paul. Tell me about these two. Joe\u2019s been in some pain, but I haven\u2019t heard a peep out of Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d say Joe\u2019s about ready to have his arm fastened up. He won\u2019t like it, but we\u2019ve got to start letting that collar bone mend. If he\u2019s moving around, he\u2019ll be conscious soon. But Hoss\u2026I\u2019m not sure.\u201d He shrugged. \u201cI\u2019m in unplowed fields here. Nobody\u2019s ever taken this much blood from a living person before, not that I know of.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Adam found himself grateful that he was leaning against Joe\u2019s bed; otherwise the shock might have sent him to the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cI knew I could take at least one pint from him; pretty sure I could get two\u2026but it was that last one that worried me a little. I\u2019d guess that he\u2019s all right, just very weak.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut if he\u2019s too weak to wake up\u2026then he won\u2019t be able to eat. And he\u2019ll get weaker still.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d say let him rest for another 24 hours or so. Spoon a little water into him if you can. I\u2019m just guessing, Adam, but let\u2019s face it, Hoss is a well-nourished man and strong. He ought to be able to last a little while without food, and another two days even without water if he has to. But, if he hasn\u2019t awakened by tonight sometime, try bringing him around. He doesn\u2019t have to stay awake long, just enough time to get some water and broth into him. That\u2019s what he\u2019ll need most.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYesterday you said the only problem was if he didn\u2019t stop bleeding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was the problem\u2014yesterday. Now the immediate problem is getting them conscious, especially Hoss. I\u2019d be a lot more comfortable if he\u2019d wake up\u2014even if it\u2019s only groaning and shifting around, like Joe. But\u2026let\u2019s not go borrowing trouble. You know what the Good Book says; \u2018sufficient to the day is the evil\u2014\u2018\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Adam murmured. \u201cI know it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cListen, Adam, do you have anyone who can help you? If your father\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf he left today it would take him more than two weeks to get here, Paul. It\u2019s just me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about your cousin? I know Will Cartwright is back in town\u2014and while I know you two didn\u2019t part under the best of terms\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that supposed to mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul shrugged. \u201cI know that business with Laura was a bit ugly, but she\u2019s forgiven you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat business with Laura? Forgiven me<\/em>? For what<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry Adam. None of my business. Anyway, you really do need some help here. I can ask around in town\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPaul, that posse was home last night before six o\u2019clock, and I\u2019ll bet the news was on the street five minutes later. People know what happened out here; or at least, they know enough. If they wanted to help, they\u2019d help. And I\u2019d accept it, gratefully. But Cartwrights don\u2019t beg. Nor do they enlist the family doctor to do their begging for them.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor shrugged and flicked his finger against the big syringe.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d Adam demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cMorphine. He\u2019s in a lot of pain, he\u2019ll need it. Remember I told you I had to sign for a shipment?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUm\u2026don\u2019t give him very much,\u201d Adam said, watching as Paul probed for a vein.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not? This stuff is a wonder drug; everybody wants it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026I\u2019m not comfortable with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Joe will be, and he\u2019s the one hurting.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, fine\u2014but no more.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? Laudanum doesn\u2019t last as long or do as much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd men don\u2019t crave it as much either,\u201d Adam said, feeling his skin crawl as the needle went in Joe\u2019s arm. \u201cI\u2019ve seen fellas in Virginia City that were hurt in the War and they get strange cravings\u2026some people say it\u2019s a craving for morphine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSome people say it\u2019s not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but this is my brother here. I\u2019ll let him have this, but from now on it\u2019s laudanum.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul sighed. But, not one to waste his time with a granite-headed Cartwright, he left soon after.<\/p>\n

The day dragged. Mutton Jim came over, asking for direction; Adam went over, as best he could, the things he wanted to begin on that day, but he was having difficulty concentrating. Fortunately Jim knew enough of what Adam wanted to figure out the rest.<\/p>\n

Adam read a little more. He even got his Bible out and read it for a while, but though he knew that perfect love \u201ccasteth out fear\u201d he discovered his love for his brothers was not perfect. It couldn\u2019t have been\u2014because he was afraid.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing got Lady for her chores, but she broke another egg, and returned to Adam in disgrace. She slunk into the room and timidly thrust her nose into his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not your fault if you\u2019re clumsy today,\u201d he murmured. \u201cIf you\u2019re even half as worried as I am, you broke every egg you found.\u201d He sighed. \u201cI never said thanks, did I? My Lord, if you hadn\u2019t found us when you did and showed us where to find Little Joe, it might\u2019ve been too late for him anyway.\u201d He held out both hands. Without hesitation Lady leaned against his knee, and he rubbed her forehead the way she liked.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, you\u2019re right,\u201d Adam said softly. \u201cShe does make you feel better just by being around.\u201d He looked back at Lady, feeling marginally less afraid. \u201cMaybe dogs have perfect love.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam subsisted most of the day on coffee, his stomach in too much of a knot to attempt eating. At a little after eight p.m., he dozed off in the chair.<\/p>\n

And when he awoke, at a little before midnight, someone was singing an old French song that Marie used to sing to Little Joe. Adam dragged his head up and forced his eyes open as the singing continued. The first thing he saw was Lady, lying next to his feet. He looked up and saw Hoss, a bit pale, lying on a bunk piled high with pillows and cushions. Then the memory slammed into him, and he whirled his head to see Little Joe, apparently asleep but smiling faintly\u2014and there was Tilly Hoffman, sitting on the side of the bed, holding Joe\u2019s hand and singing.<\/p>\n

Adam jumped up, and put two fingers to Joe\u2019s throat. There was a pulse, possibly a little weak, but steady. And there was the faintest hint of color on his cheeks. Tilly Hoffman, still singing softly, looked over at Adam and smiled.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Three hours earlier:<\/em><\/p>\n

Hop Sing heard the cantering hooves coming into the yard, got out of his bed, and pulled on his robe. When he got to the door, he found Tilly Hoffman, shivering in the night air.<\/p>\n

\u201cMissy Hoffman,\u201d he smiled. \u201cPlease, welcome. I take coat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, is there anything I can do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe. Everyone sleep now. You want see boys?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you tell me what happened first? I saw Adam gallop in yesterday morning when the children were out for recess, and I couldn\u2019t tell what had happened, but from the way the doctor and the sheriff rode out, it had to have been bad. Later, some men were saying Hoss and Little Joe were shot\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly Little Joe shot. Not know how it happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly swallowed. \u201cWill he\u2026will he be all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoctor and Mister Adam not sure. Hop Sing sure, but nobody ask,\u201d he smiled. \u201cCome and see.\u201d<\/p>\n

He led her up the stairs to Little Joe\u2019s room where Joe lay unnaturally silent and pale, shirtless, his upper left chest covered by a loose dressing and his left arm tied tightly at an angle across his body. His right arm was covered by a purple bruise. On a small bunk bed a few feet away, Hoss\u2014also very white\u2014lay in a striped nightshirt with one sleeve rolled up and a corresponding bruise on his left arm. And in a small kitchen chair next to Hoss, Adam sat dozing, his head nodding periodically when he shifted as if trying not to fall out of the chair. He had his bare feet propped on Lady\u2019s silver-gray back.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened to Hoss?\u201d Tilly asked, her voice in that automatic muted tone used in the presence of death and disease.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh, he sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam should be in bed,\u201d Tilly said.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing nodded, resigned. \u201cYou convince him. Maybe have better luck than Hop Sing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMay I have another chair, please?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cArm chair in corner. You no want?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Too heavy and too far away. And too comfortable; I\u2019ll need to stay awake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI bring.\u201d He paused to look curiously at her. \u201cNice that you come, Missy Hoffman.\u201d<\/p>\n

A smile and a shrug. \u201cHow could I not?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing nodded and left.<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright.\u201d She touched Adam\u2019s arm. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you go to bed? I\u2019ll watch your brothers for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019n\u2019a\u2019li\u2019lwhile,\u201d he mumbled without moving. \u201c\u2019ll eat\u2019n\u2019a\u2019li\u2019lwhile Hopsn\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing carried in another kitchen chair, and beckoned her to step over to him. \u201cMissy Hoffman, when Mister Adam like that, best no wake. He mean sometime when wake up too fast.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are a lot of things about that man that don\u2019t make sense.\u201d Tilly shook her head. \u201cWell, I\u2019ll be staying for a bit, Hop Sing.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a thick book on the floor near Adam\u2019s feet; he had probably been reading when he dozed off. She got up, made her way over as quietly as she could, stopped to pat Lady\u2019s head for a moment, and picked up the book. Les Mis\u00e9rables<\/em>. She smiled; she had been in Spain when the book was first published in France, and had heard about some of the uproar it had caused. Adam\u2019s copy seemed new; that surprised her. The book had been published almost seven years ago. But it probably took a while for books such as this to find Nevada, she thought, settling down to read.<\/p>\n

At one point Hop Sing brought her a cup of coffee; at some other point, she finished it and later, she had no idea when, he appeared out of nowhere with another cup. Downstairs a clock chimed midnight. She was taking a sip from the second cup when she heard the sound, and raised her head in surprise. Little Joe was not exactly awake. He was trying to hum; just managing a phrase here and there, but it was a French song with which she was familiar.<\/p>\n

Then he moved just a little\u2014and moaned softly. \u201cLittle Joe,\u201d she whispered. \u201cLie still.\u201d<\/p>\n

He moaned again, moving his legs. \u201cMaman\u2026Maman\u2026<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

She took a deep breath and began to sing the song he had been trying to hum.<\/p>\n

Aupr\u00e8s de ma blonde,
\nQu’il fait bon, fait bon, fait bon.
\nAupr\u00e8s de ma blonde,
\nQu’il fait bon dormir!<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe smiled faintly. \u201cMaman\u2026<\/em>\u201d he whispered, and went back to sleep.<\/p>\n

Chapter 7<\/strong><\/p>\n

Adam was on his feet, checking Joe\u2019s pulse. \u201cI guess he\u2019s all right,\u201d he finally muttered, and then looked sharply at Tilly. \u201cWhy are you here?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shook her head. \u201cThe real question is, where is everyone else?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn Savannah, people help a family that\u2019s sick or suffering. I knew something bad had happened at the Ponderosa. Everyone knew. In my brief walk from the school to my room and then out to the livery stable, I heard it being talked about in the street. No one really knew what had happened but they knew Joe was shot and they knew a posse had been put together. When the posse returned there was talk that Hoss and Joe had both been shot. I couldn\u2019t come last night or I would have\u2014but even so, I thought others would be here. Why didn\u2019t anyone come? The Cartwrights are held in such esteem that I was sure the house would be full of baskets of food, and people helping out around the clock. Instead I find you, obviously exhausted, and no one but Hop Sing to help. What the devil is wrong with those people? And where is Will Cartwright? He\u2019s your family by blood, and yet he and his wife aren\u2019t even here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her tirade had been spoken softly, but the anger carried, and her slight accent had gotten stronger. Adam smiled. \u201cSettle down, girl. I told you once that you\u2019re na\u00efve. Are you telling me that you\u2019re just being neighborly?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, Mr. Cartwright. How can I not? Hoss and Little Joe have been nothing but kind to me since I arrived here. They seem almost to have adopted me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had a ghost of a smile. \u201cIn that case you might as well call me Adam, after all\u2014\u2018Cousin\u2019 Tilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked at him steadily. \u201cAll right, \u2018Cousin\u2019 Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened just now with Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d She grinned. \u201cNothing. He wanted his mama.\u201d A shrug. \u201cEven the biggest, meanest man alive will call for his mama if he\u2019s hurt bad enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think he was in pain?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMust\u2019ve been. He moaned a little at first. But when I sang to him, he went back to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I took the laudanum downstairs\u2026dunno why\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing will bring it up. Tell me what happened, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam made a face. \u201cJoe got shot. That\u2019s about the size of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot nearly. I don\u2019t see any bullet holes in Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026he can\u2019t stand the sight of blood, so he fainted.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery funny.\u201d<\/p>\n

A sigh. \u201cJoe\u2026needed help. And Hoss being Hoss, he overdid it. My brothers are very generous people, Tilly. I can\u2019t really say more than that about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly decided not to press the issue\u2026for now. \u201cDid Little Joe\u2019s mother really sing that song to him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, they sang it together before he went to sleep, whether it was napping or nighttime. Marie\u2014Joe\u2019s mother\u2014said it was a lullaby, which made no sense to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, for drunks, maybe,\u201d Tilly said with a smile. \u201cThat\u2019s been a tavern song in Paris for a couple hundred years. I suppose Joe\u2019s mother was French?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrench Creole,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cAnd I guess she\u2019d know the tavern songs. Joe\u2019s mother led an\u2026interesting life before she met my father. Knowing her sense of humor, she probably would’ve called a tavern song a lullaby too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell then, probably I\u2019d\u2019ve liked her, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou probably would\u2019ve, since you know tavern songs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, surely you\u2019ve heard the expression, \u2018when in Rome\u2026\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled. \u201cAnd you said you were never a saloon girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly an occasional customer. And only in Paris.\u201d She smiled back. \u201cWhat was Marie like?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, she was charming, all right. Pa doted on her, Hoss worshiped her, and with her and Joe it was mutual adoration.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow did you like her?\u201d<\/p>\n

His tone became guarded. \u201cShe took a little getting used to.\u201d He shook his head. \u201cBy the time I was comfortable around her, she was gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry. That would be hard.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cShe lasted the longest of any of Pa\u2019s wives. I was just about to start thinking we were going to keep her. I mean, she and Pa were married five years.\u201d And three months\u2026and six days. I know\u2026because after her funeral I took out the calendar and counted.<\/em> \u201cI wish she could\u2019ve stuck around longer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Hoss\u2019s mother?\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled fondly. \u201cOnly about a year and a half. She was tall and strong and built like an oak tree. Swedish. Probably the kindest person I ever met. Hoss is a lot like her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd yours?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t know. I\u2019ve only known her through my father\u2019s stories, and he doesn\u2019t talk about her much. Pa says I get my love of reading from her. I\u2019m told she died less than an hour after I was born.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, my.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa said\u2026he said she held me before she died. Told me she loved me and that she\u2019d always be with me.\u201d He looked away, wondering why he\u2019d said such a thing. Focusing on Lady, he went on in a philosophical voice, \u201cI\u2019ve often wondered just how much parents dress up distasteful events for their children\u2019s benefit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve often thought the same blasted thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now that was an answer begging a question, but it wouldn\u2019t have been polite. He only looked curiously at her and changed the subject. \u201cYou\u2019re speaking differently.\u201d<\/p>\n

She sighed. \u201cIt\u2019s late. I watch myself pretty closely most of the time, but I figured I could let my hair down with my \u2018family\u2019\u2026even if you are a Damn Yankee, \u2018Cousin Adam\u2019. I am from the South, after all, and three years in Indiana and the better part of seven years in Europe didn\u2019t clean it all<\/em> out of me. You ought to go to bed, you know. I can watch them now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be silly. You need to get home; I can get one of the hands to drive you back. The longer you\u2019re here, the more your reputation\u2019s in shreds.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy reputation\u2019s already in the outhouse,\u201d she declared. \u201cBut you know, Little Joe told me I shouldn\u2019t care what the meddlers think, and with all that I see from the \u2018good\u2019 people of this town, that\u2019s rapidly becoming the case.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said, looking down.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot your fault,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd besides, I don\u2019t need someone to drive me. I rode Beauty out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d His eyes must have widened at that; she grinned broadly.<\/p>\n

\u201cHope you don\u2019t mind. The fellow at the livery knew I was a friend of yours. I guess this is where gossip comes in handy. He said that since Beauty was rested up I could ride him here and just bring Thunder back in the morning, and he wouldn\u2019t charge me that way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou rode Beauty? Are you all right? Is he <\/em>all right? I\u2019ve been riding him for five years, and he still plays tricks on me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, he\u2019s just tryin\u2019 to get your attention, Adam. He\u2019s a sweety-pie. So is Thunder.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was stirring uneasily, bringing Adam back to his side. \u201cIs Joe\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s trying to sing that song again,\u201d Tilly said. \u201cDo you know the words?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course; I even know what they mean. But now I know the nature of the song, they make more sense.\u201d They sang the chorus together, softly, one on either side of Little Joe, who visibly relaxed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to get the laudanum,\u201d he said. \u201cWill you watch them while I\u2019m gone?\u201d<\/p>\n

She rolled her eyes. \u201cHeaven help me, didn\u2019t I say that\u2019s why I\u2019m here?\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

She couldn\u2019t get him to go to bed; he couldn\u2019t get her to go home. She wasn\u2019t tired, she said; she\u2019d taken a nap before riding out. He wasn\u2019t tired, he said; he\u2019d slept in the chair. They talked quietly most of the night. She told him about Savannah and the nearby Okefenokee Swamp\u2014\u201cit\u2019s nearly as big as the Ponderosa, and twice as mean.\u201d (And when he challenged her on the \u201cmeanness,\u201d she dared him to pit a grizzly against a \u2019gator.) She told him of the legend of the Indian Suannee, and how when they were about to hang him he cursed the Okefenokee Swamp to kill all the whites that entered. She told him about the abandoned British fort near Darien, and the mosquitoes there that were so thick in summertime they looked like low-flying rain clouds. Adam noticed, after a while, that she was starting to sound like an advertisement for tourists, and wondered why her parents and brothers didn\u2019t play a larger part in her stories, but he chose not to ask. She, in turn, noticed that almost every story he told featured both brothers and his father. She had not met Ben Cartwright, but she had heard endless stories of him in town; how his glare could melt ice at 20 feet on a freezing winter day; how, years ago when he had first claimed his land, he and Adam had had to fight\u2014legally and literally\u2014to keep it, and the fighting had gone on intermittently for so many years that Little Joe had grown into manhood while the struggles continued. It was hard to reconcile this notion of \u201cBattling Ben\u201d with the kind and wise man Adam described, and she wondered which portrait was most accurate. Whoever he was, and whatever he was like, he had certainly influenced all his boys most heavily, she decided; they always spoke of him in near-reverent tones.<\/p>\n

Eventually, the silences between stories and questions began to stretch, and the next step was simply to sit in companionable silence until the dawn surprised them both with the first gray smears appearing through the window. She stood and stretched, remembering too late that it wasn\u2019t polite to stretch in front of people. But Adam didn\u2019t mention it, so neither did she.<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to get back and changed for school. Do you mind if I saddle Thunder, or would you prefer<\/em> someone else do it?\u201d He didn\u2019t miss the jab, but he wasn\u2019t about to let her saddle that big horse, either. He called Hop Sing, asking him to watch \u201cthe boys\u201d for a minute while he saddled the lady\u2019s horse, and she shook her head and rolled her eyes while they walked out to the barn. Lady silently accompanied them, pressed close to Adam\u2019s leg the whole way.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho put Beauty away?\u201d Adam asked, looking at the big chestnut gelding, who nickered at seeing Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cI did. Didn\u2019t see any hands out and about, but I found the lamp in the barn, and my father always told me the worst thing in the world was just to leave a horse standing after it\u2019s been worked.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s right\u2026and you did a good job, too. I\u2019m impressed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes that mean you\u2019ll go and have breakfast and let me saddle Thunder?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot on your life. And I\u2019d really rather you\u2019d ride Pepper Nell.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen I\u2019d have to pay the livery fee.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d gladly pay it\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam Cartwright, I\u2019m gonna whop you upside the head in a minute,\u201d she retorted in a voice full of irritation. \u201cAny idiot of a man can put a saddle on a horse. Why can\u2019t I\u2014because I\u2019m a \u2018weak and feeble woman\u2019? And why can\u2019t I ride Thunder now, when I\u2019ve rented him from the stable a dozen times before, without your say-so?\u201d<\/p>\n

At this display of temper he just looked at her in wry amusement. \u201cI didn\u2019t know you\u2019d ridden him before. So I guess there\u2019s not a reason. You go right ahead and ride him, Cousin Tilly. And if it means that much to you, you may saddle him as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, aren\u2019t you gracious.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I am\u2014but not that<\/em> gracious. So, if you land on your not-too-well-padded backside because you didn\u2019t tighten the cinch properly, don\u2019t come crying in this direction.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a minute, he froze; he couldn\u2019t quite believe he\u2019d said such a thing. If Hoss had heard, he would\u2019ve had Adam hanging upside down by the ankles from the top of Ophir Creek Gorge to apologize. Joe would have employed his usual scream-and-leap attack that could be devastating. And his Pa would have taken a bullwhip to him. Maybe he\u2019d said it just because they weren\u2019t around, or just because he\u2019d been up the better part of 48 hours, or just because this darn girl was getting on his nerves. He didn\u2019t know or care.<\/p>\n

But he started to apologize, only to see that she had gone into Thunder\u2019s stall and already had him bridled. He started to follow her into the stall, but she turned then, grabbing the saddle and blanket together in one practiced motion, and heaved them easily onto Thunder\u2019s back. She crouched by his forelegs and reached underneath for the cinch, tapping one foreleg to get the big gelding to move his foot forward. Grabbing the ring and pulling it toward her, she threaded the leather strap through, smiling. Then, with no warning, she jerked her knee into the horse\u2019s belly, and he snorted, air and spray hitting Adam\u2019s shirt as Thunder let go the breath he\u2019d been holding. Tilly looked sidelong at Adam as she pulled the cinch tight and secured it.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, well,\u201d she said with a grin, her southern drawl breaking free again. \u201cLooks like ole Thunder, here, is a gelding. I do wonder<\/em> how that happened.\u201d She looked Adam up and down. \u201cI hear tell it don\u2019t only<\/em> happen to horses, Cousin Adam.\u201d With that she led the horse out, and Adam, who hadn\u2019t moved since she\u2019d uttered those last words, got a mouthful of Thunder\u2019s tail when he started to reply.<\/p>\n

By the time he finished sputtering, she had scrambled without much grace into the saddle, and was looking at him the same way Marie used to when he\u2019d done something very stupid. \u201cNow, you listen to me, Adam Cartwright. You go eat some breakfast. I will be coming back here at 9 o\u2019clock tonight without fail, and I expect you to be clean, shaved, and NOT smellin\u2019 like a week\u2019s worth of sin in a teacup. If Hop Sing is willing, then you and I will have a little light supper together with the boys. And then I expect you to go to bed, and Hop Sing and I will sit up with the boys\u2014so you tell him to be sure and get a nap this afternoon. It\u2019s called ROTATION, and you can\u2019t do it if you insist on trying to do the whole thing yourself. Those boys need people watching them, not snoring in the chair. And if I happen to see your cousin Will, I\u2019m gonna thrash his high-falootin\u2019 hiney for forgettin\u2019 family obligations. And his little tow-headed wife, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

She tapped Thunder lightly with her heels, and he twitched his bottom lip a couple of times and trotted off before the perfect insult Adam had finally come up with could be delivered. And in a combination of fury at her insolence and amusement at her audacity, he began to laugh\u2026but once begun, he couldn\u2019t stop. He laughed until he couldn\u2019t breathe; laughed until his ribs hurt. And then, whether it was something as simple as exhaustion\u2014or worry that neither of his brothers would wake up\u2014or the sheer relief that he might actually get to sleep sometime in the future\u2026or the sweeping sense of thumbing his nose at the Grim Reaper, because it was morning again<\/em> and his brothers were still alive and fighting to stay that way, Adam fell back into the haystack, crying. Lady leaned close to him and began licking the tears away, and he buried his face in her snowy ruff and sobbed.<\/p>\n

When he finally got himself under control again, he felt a large sense of contempt for the weakness he had displayed. But when he looked at Lady, curled in a silver-white circle by his side, covered in his tears and fears, he realized the best thing about having a dog. No matter what she knew about his inner life, no matter what kind of idiotic, childish behavior he exhibited, she would still respect and adore him\u2014and she would never tell a soul.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Not because Tilly had given orders, but because he recognized the necessity, Adam did take a bath and shave. And not because she had told him to, but because he was hungry, he did have breakfast.<\/p>\n

Will Cartwright rode in early that afternoon. Adam only knew it was Will because he looked out the window when he heard the hoofbeats. He sighed, figuring the last thing he needed right now was a visit from his cousin. And if Tilly really had prompted it, he was going to tan her hide.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing brought Will up with no announcement, and then left so he could take his Tilly-required nap. Adam looked at his cousin, who was shifting his weight from foot to foot and grasping his hat in his hands. \u201cHave a seat, Will. Hop Sing\u2019s turned into a bad host; he should have taken your hat. Just toss it over on Joe\u2019s dresser. How\u2019s the family?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPretty good\u2026\u201d Will looked at Joe and Hoss. \u201cAre they<\/em> gonna be all right? I heard they both got shot.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam cleared his throat. \u201cWe, ah, hope so. What can I do for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMore like what can I do for you, Adam. I know your Pa\u2019s out of town for a while and just wondered if I can help out. Sorry it took so long to get over, but I, uh, just found out\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see. Well, I appreciate the offer, Will, but I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure? I heard\u2014um, I was\u2014that is, I thought\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam leaned forward in his chair. \u201cWho sent you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Will flinched. \u201cNobody, I just thought, um, we\u2019re family and all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve been here over a month, Will, and haven\u2019t even come for a call. I know you\u2019re busy settling in, and I\u2019m not one to push. But you\u2019re carrying all the earmarks of a fellow who\u2019d rather be anyplace else than here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Reddening, Will looked back at Adam. \u201cThat bad, eh?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam just nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026that\u2019s mostly because I owe you apology and I\u2019m not real sure how to go about it, because there\u2019s a possibility that you owe me one as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re talking about things from two years ago, you don\u2019t owe me anything. I told you back then\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not exactly<\/em> what I\u2019m talking about, Adam. I won\u2019t apologize for marrying Laura. It may not have come about exactly in the usual fashion, but I love her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo argument there,\u201d Adam said politely. \u201cI\u2019m glad it\u2019s worked out so well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you and Laura weren\u2019t a good match, Adam,\u201d Will said a little defensively. \u201cYou need a woman who wants to stay on your good side. Laura\u2019s the other way around.\u201d<\/p>\n

Privately, Adam thought any marriage as one-sided as that would be pretty pathetic at best, but he just nodded as Will sat down and went on.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just that, there\u2019s some gossip going around in town now that traces back to\u2014well, let me just go ahead and tell you. When Laura and I married, Peggy didn\u2019t take it very well. It was a shock for her, so I don\u2019t blame her. But one day she asked Laura why she hadn\u2019t married you, and Laura told Peggy that you didn\u2019t want her. I guess she thought that would make Peggy turn to me instead. I never asked why. Back then it didn\u2019t seem to matter. We never figured on seeing you again and sure never figured on Peggy confronting you about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Again, Adam nodded in silence. Will fidgeted in his chair.<\/p>\n

\u201cI appreciate your being a gentleman about it,\u201d Will said, looking at the floor.\u00a0 \u201cThere were a lot of things you could have told Peggy. But apparently, you didn\u2019t deny it. And the thing is, someone overheard the conversation. Peggy thought it must have been the schoolteacher.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe schoolteacher was there for part of the conversation. But she\u2019s not the one spreading it around. She has enough problems dealing with the gossip about her<\/em>. You know what things are like for us Cartwrights, Will. We\u2019re local celebrities, and that makes us a lot of fun to gossip about.\u201d He shrugged. \u201cOn the other hand, it gives us a great line of credit with all the merchants, and our first beer is free at the Bucket o\u2019 Blood.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m glad you can take that approach to it\u2026\u201d Will thought a minute. \u201cThing is, it\u2019s like any other gossip; it grows some with the re-telling. What I heard was that you\u2026well, that there was a reason<\/em> you didn\u2019t want Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot sure I follow you, Will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are those in town who saw you and your brothers coming over to us at church, and thought it meant you had forgiven us for \u2018running off together.\u2019 There\u2019s another group who think it meant\u2026Laura forgave you<\/em> for sending her away with me after you were finished with her. Is there anything you need to apologize for, Cousin?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam gazed evenly at him although flames were threatening his vision. \u201cYes, Will. I apologize\u2014 because I\u2019m about to break your nose.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I knew better, of course,\u201d Will added hastily. \u201cBut some people are saying that. It hurts me as much as you, you know. Hell; more. I heard all that just a couple of days after that Sunday in church, and it made me not too happy to face you any time soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam thought for a while. Petty vengeance was something he had always frowned on\u2026but\u2026teaching a lesson; that was different.<\/p>\n

\u201cWill, do you know Mrs. O\u2019Reilly?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cRuns a boarding house downtown, I believe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the one. Do you know, I hear that place has enough bedbugs to populate Mexico.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that so? I guess it\u2019s interesting after a fashion, but what does it have to do with\u2026\u201d Will stopped for a moment. \u201cPeggy said she talked to you at Mrs. O\u2019Reilly\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do believe she did.\u201d Adam said coolly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I should warn my friends about that place,\u201d Will nodded. \u201cI mean, nobody likes bedbugs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t blame you a bit. Now, since we\u2019ve cleared the air, I\u2019d like to know how it came about that you decided to pay this call. You didn\u2019t come on your own. Who sent you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Will had the decency to look embarrassed. \u201cThat schoolteacher was at the front gate when I took Peggy in this morning. We had words.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how\u2019d she persuade you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Will crossed his legs uncomfortably. \u201cOh, you know. She was polite. She just said you needed help and that family was important and all.\u201d Adam watched in mild fascination as Will uncrossed his legs, then cleared his throat and re-crossed them.<\/p>\n

\u201cI see. Well, it really wasn\u2019t any of her business, Will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was right, though. I know if it had been something wrong at my house, you and Joe and Hoss would\u2019ve been there. Ben and you fellas have always been good at making me feel like family.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are, Will. You are. Now that that\u2019s settled, did you mean what you said about helping out?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood. Business is really falling off with me stuck at home and my brothers ill. Will, do you suppose you could run up to the saw mill and see what\u2019s going on up there? Joe usually handles that, and as you can see, he\u2019s going to be off his feet for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can put in a couple hours a day up there, but that\u2019s all\u2014got my own place too, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt might take a little more than that. Suppose, in lieu of payment for services at the mill, I send a couple of my fellows over to your place to help out with chores?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat would work.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTalk to Mutton Jim\u2014he should be in the barn. He\u2019ll give you the key. And keep me posted.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll come by tomorrow with an update.\u201d They stood and shook hands.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter 8<\/strong><\/p>\n

By the time Tilly returned that night, Adam had gotten several things done. In addition to taking care of the gossip situation in town, the saw mill, and relations with the \u201cother\u201d Cartwrights, he had had Mutton Jim split a log into small bits that he could use to make a rough model of the new windmill design he wanted to try, and he spent most of the afternoon working on that.<\/p>\n

About the only thing he hadn\u2019t accomplished by the time she came was waking up his brothers. He tried several times to wake up Hoss that day, but with no luck. Smelling salts didn\u2019t help; cold water didn\u2019t help; being tapped repeatedly on the cheek didn\u2019t help. In another vain attempt, he had read aloud to his brothers\u2014complete with theatrical flourishes that his friend Edwin Booth would\u2019ve been proud of\u2014from Joe\u2019s latest dime novel, Despard the Spy<\/em>. But the stuff was so melodramatic that he couldn\u2019t read for long without laughing. He could think of a dozen jokes about this silly fluff, but the problem was that no one except Tilly Hoffman ever got his literary jokes. And speak of the devil<\/em>, he thought as his heart hit the floor with a resounding thud. Thunder was cantering up, with Tilly aboard.<\/p>\n

Telling Hop Sing to get that \u201clight supper\u201d ready, he went out to the barn. Thunder was already unsaddled, his bridle replaced by a halter, and she was rubbing him down. Well, this wouldn\u2019t be pretty, but it would be definitive, he decided, and stepped toward her.<\/p>\n

\u201cWelcome back,\u201d he said dryly, watching.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks.\u201d She studiously kept her back to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Hoffman<\/em>,\u201d he said in terms as stern as he could make them\u2014pretty stern-sounding at that\u2014\u201cWe need to reach an understanding here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what would that be?\u201d She turned and looked up at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be that\u2014however welcome we have tried to make you feel here, however much like a part of the family you believe yourself to be, the truth is you were taken in just like this dog.\u201d He jerked a pointing finger down at Lady, who was sitting by his side. \u201cYou are no more a Cartwright than she is; you may even be less. You\u2019re not ever going to be<\/em> a Cartwright, any more than this dog. And you do not have the right to go threatening my blood relatives, however righteous you think your cause.\u201d<\/p>\n

For just a second, she seemed almost to shrivel. Then her chin came up, and she grinned. \u201cI do thank you for your kind statement of position, sir. Putting uppity Southerners like me in their places is assuredly a Damn Yankee specialty, and you do it most well\u2014to the extent that, if becoming a Cartwright were on my list of goals in life, I should indeed be crushed. And yet I stand, unmoved. Now, unless you would also like to question the legitimacy of my own good German name, to which Chancellor Bismarck and I should strongly object, perhaps you\u2019ll allow me to venture into the hallowed halls of your childhood just long enough to ascertain your brothers\u2019 continued health.\u201d Sweeping past him, she called back, \u201cAnd congratulations on endeavoring to smell better today.\u201d<\/p>\n

As he trailed her into the house, he remembered Will\u2019s earlier, ludicrous remark that Adam Cartwright needed a woman who wanted to stay on his good side. Suddenly, it didn\u2019t sound half bad.<\/p>\n

The light supper of scrambled eggs and fried tomato slices was eaten mostly in silence. Tilly asked if Hoss or Joe had woken at all during the day; Adam replied that they had not. Nothing further was said.<\/p>\n

Until, as Adam walked past Hoss with the remnants of the plates, Hoss murmured, \u201cThat sure smells good.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

It was almost midnight. Tilly and Hop Sing had cleaned up the mess on the floor from the smashed plates and leftover food. Hoss was asleep again. So was Adam\u2014and in his own bed, not in a chair, though he had gone only grudgingly, after breathing fire against Tilly, and after extracting the promise that she would wake him if Joe came to.<\/p>\n

It had been a shock-filled few minutes, Hop Sing reflected. He had come up with the coffeepot, just in time to hear Hoss mumble something. Adam, stunned, had dropped the plates he was carrying and grabbed Hoss\u2019s arm; unfortunately he had been nearest the arm with the enormous bruise, and this had elicited a yelp from Hoss. Hop Sing had been surprised that all the craziness had not awakened Little Joe, but Joe had remained motionless.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, you came back!\u201d Adam exclaimed, next grabbing Hoss by his pinchable cheeks. \u201cWhere the devil have you been, boy; I was getting worried about you! You need some water. And Hop Sing, bring up the beef broth, we gotta get some food into this fella.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, stop,\u201d Hoss pleaded, his voice raspy. \u201cI\u2019m way\u2026too puny for this kinda\u2026roughhousing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe so,\u201d Adam said with a smile, \u201cbut we\u2019ll soon set you right, Little Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019d gotten a glass of water into the \u201cpuny\u201d brother, followed by two large cups of beef broth. He\u2019d managed to sound convincing when Hoss asked about Joe, saying that Joe was sleeping, but he was doing all right. \u201cBetter than you, Hoss. He\u2019s been singing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh,\u201d Hoss mumbled. \u201cYou know, I dreamed Mama was singing. That song she used to sing when Joe was a baby, remember? I kept dreaming about it and seeing Mama. It made me feel a lot better.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had not responded to that; he\u2019d just grinned at Hoss until his \u201clittle\u201d brother went back to sleep.<\/p>\n

After that, he and Tilly had talked for some little time, about what, Hop Sing did not know or care. Whatever their conversation had been about, it finally had the desired reaction of Adam agreeing to go to bed. \u201cDon\u2019t know how, though,\u201d he had said, glaring at Tilly. \u201cI\u2019ll never sleep after all this ruckus.\u201d<\/p>\n

But ten minutes after Adam had departed, Hop Sing had gone in to take him a glass of hot milk to help him sleep, and found it unnecessary. Sprawled across the bed, still fully dressed, face buried in his pillow in such a fashion that Hop Sing wondered how the man could breathe, Adam was dead to the world.<\/p>\n

So Hop Sing returned to find Tilly cleaning up the mess, and he had joined her, muttering terrible things about the slovenliness of the \u201cboy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMissy Hoffman want coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be nice, but Hop Sing\u2026I\u2019d be pleased if you would call me Tilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing shook his head. \u201cGreat honor. But no.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

The man looked at her, then at the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t I at least get an answer?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCannot say \u2018Tiree.\u2019 Please\u2026have enough plobrem with this language. Sounds, structure, no make sense.\u201d He looked at her almost pleadingly. \u201cIn China read two languages and speak Cantonese and six dialects. This language, English, not sensible language. No structure. Words not have correct meaning for concept. Sounds cannot be made by Chinese. I speak Engrish twenty years now and still cannot say \u2018bocory.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

He made a frustrated noise. \u201c\u2019Bocory\u2019\u2014like cabbage but small trees.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBroccoli?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. Not a four year old, Missy Hoffman. But I sound like one in your language. You are teacher. Position of great respect in my home land. I dishonor you and your position in saying name and saying it wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmm.\u201d Tilly thought a minute. \u201cHop Sing, have you ever heard of \u2018phonetics\u2019? It\u2019s the science of sounds in relation to language. About 150 years ago, a Swiss doctor named Amman was able to teach a deaf man to speak, using phonetics. I don\u2019t know very much about the science, myself, but I know enough that I think I could help you a little, if you wouldn\u2019t mind letting me teach you.\u201d<\/p>\n

The look on the little man\u2019s face was pure incredulity. \u201cMissy Hoffman teach me say English sounds?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. Once you can make the sounds well enough, and you have a better grasp of structure, I think you won\u2019t be so hesitant about expressing your thoughts, even if our language is a little limited.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow can you teach in months what I cannot learn in years? And how I pay you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not easy to learn the concepts, so I make no promises there.\u201d\u00a0 Tilly said thoughtfully. \u201cYou probably wouldn\u2019t believe it but even most Europeans say English doesn\u2019t make any sense. The only people who seem able to learn it with any degree of readiness are the Germans, and that\u2019s probably because English and German are related, just like French and Spanish, and I would imagine like Cantonese and Mandarin. Of course I know very little of China or its languages\u2026\u201d She brightened suddenly. \u201cMaybe you could pay me by teaching me a little Chinese.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI read Mandarin, but cannot speak\u2014you want speak Cantonese?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever they speak in Virginia City. The laundry is forever putting too much starch into my clothes. I would like to be able to tell them, \u2018less starch, please!\u2019 How long do you think it would take to learn that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing waved a dismissive hand. \u201cNever mind. I tell them for you. But I still teach you if you teach me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen we have a deal!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay! Want more coffee now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing nodded and left at once. As he trudged back up the stairs, he saw Tilly bolt from the room, knocking on every door and shouting \u201cAdam? Adam, where are you? Joe\u2019s waking up, he\u2019s waking up!\u201d Quickly he rushed back into Joe\u2019s bedroom, laying the tray sloppily on the side table and looking at Joe\u2014until he heard the commotion in the hallway.<\/p>\n

Adam had burst out of his room with his grandfather\u2019s ancient service flintlock in his hand. \u201cWho\u2019s what? Where?\u201d Hop Sing hoped the heavy-eyed man wouldn\u2019t shoot the girl, but he turned back to Joe when Joe began to cough\u2014only to have that drowned out by Tilly\u2019s cry. \u201cAdam, Joe\u2019s coming around! He hasn\u2019t opened his eyes yet, but he\u2019s mumbling and shifting around; I\u2019m certain he\u2019s about to wake up!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam and Tilly dashed into the room to find Joe staring blankly at Hop Sing. Then he saw Adam, and grinned. \u201cMillions of pretty girls in the world,\u201d he said hoarsely, \u201cand I gotta wake up with YOU lookin\u2019 at me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSame here,\u201d Adam replied, laying his hand alongside Joe\u2019s face. \u201cBut I\u2019ll tellya, kid, you look pretty good to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Joe whispered, reaching up to take Adam\u2019s hand. \u201cMe too, Older Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

At dawn, while Tilly finished the last of her coffee, Adam saddled Thunder and led him out. Tilly appeared at almost the same minute, thanked Adam, and promised to ride carefully. She pulled herself into the saddle and rode away, making sure she didn\u2019t turn to look back. That man is just impossible to figure out.<\/em><\/p>\n

The last ten hours had certainly been different, beginning with the exchange upon her arrival. No one could say Adam Cartwright didn\u2019t have a sizable repertoire of insults ready for the unsuspecting. And no one could say he couldn\u2019t take them as well as hand them out. And at least one thing in the town gossip was true: he could be colder than a northeast wind and meaner than a hungry sow.<\/p>\n

But after Hoss had eaten, talked briefly with them both, and gone back to sleep, Adam had changed drastically. Taking both her hands in his, he had said quietly, \u201cI know I can be unbearable when I get on my high horse. I\u2019ve heard it from my father and brothers more times than I can count. I\u2019ve never heard it quite so vocally from a girl before you, but I\u2019ve been slapped enough to know better. Even the preacher once told me I had a problem with pride. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Genuinely surprised, and more than a little uncomfortable, she pulled away from him. \u201cWhy? You were right. I interfered where I had no right or reason.\u201d<\/p>\n

He nodded. \u201cTrue enough\u2014but I\u2019m not apologizing for that. I mean all the hateful things I said along with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, that.\u201d She waved a hand. \u201cMy mother always said gentlemen never hit first, but they are certainly allowed to hit back. I had already bare-knuckled you a few times, at least verbally\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd probably wanted to physically.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, in any case, I owe you an apology as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you want to apologize for going to Will, I\u2019ll let you; but for the other\u2014um\u2014spirited words, I took them as a sign of your lively wit.\u201d He grinned. \u201cAre we even now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe will be as soon as you go to bed like you\u2019re supposed to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh come on, Tilly. Hoss just woke up for the first time in two and a half days. I wasn\u2019t sure if he would ever wake up! At least let me have a little while to wind down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, but no shyster talk here. First define \u2018a little while.\u2019 To me it means less than half an hour. To you it could mean all night\u2014and then you\u2019d have another day with no sleep. How long have you been awake, anyway? And I don\u2019t count that little three-hour nap last night before I got here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Adam said grudgingly. \u201cAsk Hop Sing. He probably wrote it all down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just might. All right, no more than an hour. Why don\u2019t you get your guitar and sing a while? Your brothers never objected when they were awake, and it might be pleasant when they\u2019re asleep too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly if you\u2019ll sing with me, and we do \u2018A La Una.\u2019 I want to learn the verses too.\u201d<\/p>\n

They had sung for a few minutes, and she had taught him all the words to the song, when he said, \u201cWhere did you learn this?\u201d<\/p>\n

The question made no sense to her, but she responded bemusedly, \u201cSpain, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you said the Sephards were kicked out of Spain centuries ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh!\u201d She laughed. \u201cThey were, true, but not all of them left. Some converted to Catholicism. Others pretended to. Whichever they did, there are still a few Jews there. Bensabat taught me the song not long after we met.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen-sabbath?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBensabat. He was a Sephard.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA friend of yours in Spain?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy fianc\u00e9.\u201d And then it just sort of fell out\u2014\u201cHe was killed in Tangiers. Filthy place, Tangiers. I went with his parents to bury him\u2026funny how Morocco\u2019s not even 10 miles from Spain, but once you get across the Straits of Gibraltar you\u2019re in a different world. It\u2019s a horrible place. I won\u2019t ever go back there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Tilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was three years ago,\u201d she sighed. \u201cNowadays I just try to remember his life, not the end of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe must have been a great musician,\u201d Adam said thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was a merchant. But he was very good with a guitar, and had a beautiful voice. Like your Marie\u2014a real charmer. But then he looked a lot like Little Joe, so you can see how no one could resist him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Adam grinned. \u201cI can resist Little Joe pretty well. But then, he\u2019s my brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

They had talked for a while then about engagements, and how, at least in their cases, they never led to marriage. Tilly\u2019s first fianc\u00e9 (\u201cHarold\u2014absolutely nobody could call him \u2018Harry\u2019\u201d) had been killed by a runaway carriage. Adam, it turned out, had been \u201cofficially\u201d engaged only once, although\u2014and why he told her this, he could not afterwards remember\u2014\u201cI was married once, about four years ago\u2026well, it was kind of married anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow can you be \u2018kind of\u2019 married?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. I thought I was married. She thought we were married. It\u2019s just that nobody else thought we were and nobody else gave a\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, I don\u2019t mean to pry, but you can\u2019t make a statement like that and not expect a question. Can you tell me what you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot really. I don\u2019t remember it very well. I\u2019d just taken a Shoshone arrow. She saved me\u2026her name was Ruth, but the Shoshone of the region thought she was some sort of goddess, and they called her \u2018White Buffalo Woman.\u2019 She was a Norwegian girl whose father had died on the trail. Somehow, she became a healer, and got the reputation of being the answer to an Indian prophecy. She encouraged the myth because the Indians left her in peace. But in the end, the Indians took her away and left me for dead. My family found me and took me home\u2026they tried to convince me that the whole thing was just a feverish hallucination. But we recited the passage from the Bible\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Entreat me not to leave thee, neither to forsake thee\u2019?\u201d Tilly asked.<\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cAs far as I was concerned, we were married. My father\u2026came up with some story to keep me from going after her.\u201d It was the first time she had heard him refer to his father in less than glowing terms. He looked over at Lady. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t have gotten far anyway; I was still feverish and could barely sit my horse. Nearly died on the way home. By the time I came back to myself it was more than two months later. I went looking for her with Hoss; we spent six months out there, and never found a trace of her. I suppose she\u2019s dead; she couldn\u2019t have lived in their midst for very long before they found out. My father still insists it wasn\u2019t real. But it was<\/em> real, to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are those who say perception is reality,\u201d Tilly said.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you believe that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026but hearing your story does push me in that direction.\u201d She smiled. \u201cAnd it\u2019s a very beautiful, if sad, story. She must have loved you very much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I doubt she would have left such an impression on your mind if she didn\u2019t give a hoot,\u201d Tilly said decisively. \u201cAnd you must have loved her, to spend so much time searching for her. Now tell me about your one \u2018official\u2019 engagement.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that was Laura. Peggy\u2019s mother. Fortunately, she married my cousin Will instead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what all the gossip\u2019s about,\u201d Tilly realized\u2014and then winced. \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u2026I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about it,\u201d Adam said. \u201cLiving where you do, I expect you get a daily barrage of gossip.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs well as frequently becoming the subject of it. Were you terribly heartbroken over Laura?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly my vanity. Ask anyone which is more pleasant\u2014jilting, or being jilted. The answer\u2019s always the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut if you weren\u2019t in love with her, why were you going to marry her at all?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa calls Laura one of my \u2018missionary\u2019 projects\u2026like Sue Ellen Terry. I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve heard of her as well. The girls I wanted to rescue and\u2026well, make things better.\u201d He chuckled ruefully. \u201cI\u2019ve learned my lesson since those days. I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll ever marry. Too much duty and responsibility\u2014and I\u2019m tired of both.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean \u2018duty\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow can you ask that? Women are the one who always refer to it as \u2018duty.\u2019 Part of the legacy being strewn around by the blessed Queen Victoria.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d she chuckled. \u201cFunny, I never had you figured for that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow well do you know Queen Victoria?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout as well as any American. I read about her in the papers. Why?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, in that case you\u2019re ignorant. But when you make judgments based on ignorance, that\u2019s prejudice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u201d He tried the Cartwright glare. \u201cHow well do you<\/em> know her?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t, but at least I\u2019ve met her\u2014and her husband Prince Albert\u2014in 1859. I was part of a group of American girls that had the honor to be presented at Court. We didn\u2019t have a conversation or anything, but I can tell you one thing: she and Albert loved each other. You only had to look at them to see that. I could tell it across the room. And don\u2019t you dare laugh at me; I can prove it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, they had nine children, for starters. One or even two, I can understand. There\u2019s got to be a succession after all. But nine<\/em>? Don\u2019t you think that goes way beyond \u2018close your eyes and think of England\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stared at her\u2014and she saw he was quivering all over. Then the laughter escaped, and she was sure it would wake up both Hoss and Joe. He got himself under control again quickly and stood up, trying his best to look outraged. \u201cI\u2019ll take that nap now. Before this conversation gets any more inappropriate than it already is.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing picked that moment to enter with two cups of coffee. \u201cFor me and Missy Hoffman,\u201d he said. \u201cYou going to bed now, yes?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d Adam glared at them both. \u201cBut how I\u2019m supposed to sleep after all this ruckus, I have no idea.\u201d And off he\u2019d gone to bed.<\/p>\n

Drat the man<\/em>, Tilly thought as Thunder loped along. He\u2019s impossible to figure out.<\/em><\/p>\n

Then there had been that thing with Little Joe. She had no idea which bedroom was Adam\u2019s, so she had knocked on every door until he appeared\u2014with some ancient blunderbuss or something pointing right at her. When he recognized her, he put the gun down to just stare groggily. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, Joe\u2019s coming around! He hasn\u2019t opened his eyes yet, but he\u2019s mumbling and shifting around; I\u2019m certain he\u2019s about to wake up!\u201d As she said \u201cup,\u201d the comprehension dawned, and he grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her about three feet up, grinning like a fool and sweeping her around in a circle. \u201cYou\u2019re sure?\u201d he said as he put her down. When she nodded, he didn\u2019t even think twice; he just grabbed her and kissed her \u2019til she couldn\u2019t breathe. But then the darn dog, thinking a great game was being played, jumped up and put her front paws on his chest, and blast if he hadn\u2019t picked her up and kissed her<\/em> as well. And to top everything off, he\u2019d sailed into the room smiling coolly and making silly jokes, with no trace of the worry, fear, or anger he\u2019d been showing so consistently for the last two days. He was just as calm and self-possessed as he\u2019d been with Hoss.<\/p>\n

Joe had actually stayed awake for a while, even after drinking all his water and downing the broth. He was hurting some; she could see him shifting about trying to get comfortable while Adam had described bringing Paul, Roy, and the posse\u2014and then Joe, whose forehead had been creased in concentration for a while, suddenly asked, \u201cAdam, where\u2019s Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d For the first time Adam looked uncomfortable. He moved slightly, allowing Joe a clear view of his other brother. Joe\u2019s eyes widened, staring at Hoss, and then the bruise on Hoss\u2019s arm\u2014an enormous bruise that went almost to his wrist. \u201cMy God,\u201d he whispered\u2014and looked at his own arm. \u201cI didn\u2019t dream it. Doc Martin put Hoss\u2019s blood into me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded, and Tilly felt her eyes widening.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy would he do that?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were dying,\u201d Adam said roughly. \u201cHoss didn\u2019t want you to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t remember much,\u201d Joe said faintly. \u201cI remember you arguing, and Hoss\u2014Hoss was crying. You didn\u2019t make him do it, did you Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam laughed harshly. \u201cSince when have I ever been able to make Hoss do anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs he gonna be all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe is now. He woke up just a couple hours ago. Now we just need to get you well, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I feel fine except when I move.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen don\u2019t move. Your arm\u2019s strapped to your chest, Joe\u2014the collar bone\u2019s broken, and you\u2019ve got a bunch of stitched together muscles that the bullet went through. Any movement you make right now is going to hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe sighed. He and his collar bone were intimately acquainted; not to mention he\u2019d been shot before too. \u201cI shoulda known.\u201d His eyes roved the room, and for the first time he noticed Tilly. \u201cHi there. What are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just payin\u2019 a social call.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you were here, but then I thought I dreamed it. Adam, I had some crazy dreams. Mama was singing my lullaby, and then Pa joined in. And somebody with a cold stuck his runny nose right in my hand.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked down at Lady, who looked back innocently, blinking. \u201cIt was probably the laudanum. You\u2019ll need some more right about now, I think.\u201d He came back with the bottle and spoon, and Joe slurped it up.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m kinda tired, Older Brother\u2026think I just need to sleep for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you better, too, kid,\u201d Adam said softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t call me kid<\/em>\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam and Tilly moved away as Joe returned to his dreams.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe really is going to be well,\u201d Tilly said. \u201cI could almost hear him coming back to himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam said nothing, but he crossed his arms and sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cFunny you could be so cool about it,\u201d she observed. \u201cI thought you\u2019d act a little more pleased.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was pleased. I would think you\u2019d<\/em> know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI did. But your brothers didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly,\u201d Adam said with exaggerated patience, \u201cIf I\u2019d done handstands all over the room, don\u2019t you think they might have guessed just how close to the brink they came? Would you want them to know that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026when you put it that way, it makes sense. I\u2019m especially glad Little Joe\u2019s all right though,\u201d Tilly giggled. \u201cI\u2019d hate to think all that kissin\u2019 was for naught.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked at the floor, his cheeks darkening. \u201cUm, Tilly\u2026I don\u2019t know what got into me earlier. Hope I didn\u2019t scare you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly\u2019s lip quirked up. \u201cOh, I gathered it didn\u2019t mean much when you kissed the dog too.\u201d<\/p>\n

He laughed in embarrassment. \u201cWell, you can\u2019t fault my taste at least. You\u2019re a very pretty girl; she\u2019s a very pretty dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d Tilly said dubiously. \u201cBut you\u2019re right, it\u2019s best not to make a habit of it. I can\u2019t speak for the dog, but I\u2019m not engaged to you, and I don\u2019t make a habit of kissing fellas I\u2019m not engaged to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow that\u2019s a quaint notion. Something you picked up from Queen Victoria?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo; something I picked up from my mother.\u201d Tilly smiled. \u201cShe wrote me in Spain, after my father\u2019s business was lost. She said we were poor now, and I had no dowry. \u2018There\u2019s only one thing you can offer a husband now, and that\u2019s yourself,\u2019 she said. \u2018It costs a man something to take a wife, Tilly. Make sure you\u2019re worth the price.\u2019 I still have the letter\u2014it\u2019s the last one she wrote me before she died. It\u2019s what I live by.\u201d<\/p>\n

He seemed to turn inward on himself as she spoke, and kept his eyes on the floor when he murmured, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, don\u2019t fret yourself. The South is gone, and the girls that remain have two choices. We can either say nothing matters, and live our lives that way\u2014or we can say some things still do matter. Things like the way we were raised, and the standards we were raised to uphold. I don\u2019t claim that\u2019s the right way, or the only way, but it\u2019s the way I am, and I don\u2019t apologize for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

The look on his face as he raised his eyes to hers was one she had never seen before and could not read, just as dark and unfathomable as the rest of him. But the words were easily understood.<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, I think I\u2019d have liked your mother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chapter 9<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cMore broth?\u201d Hoss made a face. \u201cAdam, I gotta have me somethin\u2019 more substantial than that. I done had a gallon of it today and all it\u2019s makin\u2019 me do is fill the chamber pot quicker. I figure since you and Hop Sing are the ones stuck with emptyin\u2019 the darn thing\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSince Hop Sing and I are stuck with emptying the darn thing, we want its contents to remain liquid rather than solid,\u201d Adam said. \u201cWhen you\u2019re well enough to stand up, you can have real food.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t ever gonna be able to stand up if\u2019n I don\u2019t get some real food into me.\u201d And the grumbling went on.<\/p>\n

\u201cI liked you better unconscious,\u201d Adam laughed. He\u2019d forgotten how much fun it was to bicker with his brothers.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll I got is a busted collar bone, and you\u2019re acting like I\u2019m an invalid,\u201d Joe muttered.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are an invalid, until Doc says something else,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cNow be nice and I\u2019ll read to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShakespeare? No thanks; I\u2019d rather<\/em> be unconscious again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cActually, I was going to read this.\u201d Adam brandished Despard, the Spy<\/em>. \u201cBut, as you wish.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no, wait!\u201d they both exclaimed, and Adam, smiling, allowed himself to be persuaded.<\/p>\n

Everything was all right again. It had been two days since Hoss and Joe had \u201creturned,\u201d and now both were recovering in typical Cartwright fashion. It was really only the doctor who was holding them down, and Adam\u2019s fanatical insistence on obeying the doctor. Tilly was still coming over every evening and remaining until dawn so Adam could sleep, and Adam was staying with the two all day. But they had all talked, and tonight would be Tilly\u2019s last night. In fact tomorrow, with Adam\u2019s help, Hoss would move back into his own room, although he was reluctant. \u201cCain\u2019t play checkers by myself,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n

Adam was almost giddy in his relief, though he made sure no one saw it. Oh sure, he\u2019d have some explaining to do when his Pa got home. Between the letter he\u2019d just completed, detailing the many changes he was making to the Ponderosa\u2014and adding, very briefly, that Joe had been injured and Hoss had been sick but both were doing just fine now\u2014and the fact that the new windmills going up in the north section would be visible from the Virginia City road, he was sure his Pa would be wanting to know plenty.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, before you send that letter to Pa I want to write one too,\u201d Joe said, as if reading his thoughts.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe too, Adam,\u201d Hoss seconded.<\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cI\u2019ll hold off sending it\u2014but just for a couple of days, so get well quick. And fellas, be careful what you say in those letters. Remember, we don\u2019t want him worrying needlessly.\u201d<\/p>\n

They heard a horse trotting into the yard. \u201cWipe off the silly grins. That\u2019s not even Tilly,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cBet ya a stack of my fine literature to just one Shakespeare play,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019d lose that bet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam was right\u2014it was Sheriff Coffee, and he looked grim.<\/p>\n

\u201cGlad to know your brothers are healin\u2019 up, Adam,\u201d he began, \u201cbecause it looks like I\u2019m gonna have to release those fellers out at the jail, and I don\u2019t want you gettin\u2019 in trouble that you can\u2019t get out of.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRead this.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a telegram from the circuit judge. \u201cNo court in land will accept a dog as a witness. All else is Cartwright word against Bender word. Waste of my time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had to bite his tongue. \u201cWhat are you going to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019ll hold \u2019em as long as I can on trespassin\u2019. They were on your land when the posse found \u2019em so there\u2019s no doubt on that one at least. But if they can post bail on that one I\u2019ll have to let \u2019em out, won\u2019t I?\u201d Roy hooked his fingers into his belt. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Adam. I would\u2019ve said the same thing as the judge a few weeks ago, but your dog made a believer out of me pretty fast. Still, the judge has a point, and anyway there ain\u2019t nothin\u2019 I can do about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you ever find out what they were doing on our land? I scared that kid off a month ago, and pulled their traps a month before that. They\u2019ve been squatting, somewhere, on our place\u2014and moving around, not in just one spot, but around<\/em> one spot, for a while now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy shrugged. \u201cThey won\u2019t say anything except that they were trappin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter I took their traps?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey said there\u2019s other ones you ain\u2019t found yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh Lord!\u201d Adam cried, not knowing if it was a curse or a prayer. \u201cYou mean we can still walk through that pasture and break our legs?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope not. I thought me and the posse tore the place up pretty good, but we didn\u2019t find anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen can you tell \u2019em to leave town, at least?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I can, but in case you ain\u2019t noticed, your ranch is hardly in the city limits. If you\u2019re a\u2019fearin\u2019 they\u2019ll come back here I wouldn\u2019t think you\u2019d want me to tell \u2019em to leave town. Besides, Adam, I\u2019ve got no way of enforcin\u2019 anything right now. There\u2019s been a passel of Pinkertons out here the last month and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, remember when I made that joke about \u2019em showin\u2019 up? Well, the joke was on me when they did. Them Pinkertons made Virginia City their headquarters and spread out from here to Lake\u2019s Cr\u2014I mean Reno\u2014and Placerville and even east as far as Mason Valley.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs this for the $25,000 taken in that train wreck? Seems like much ado about nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell it to the Pinks. They ain\u2019t takin\u2019 it lightly at all. I can\u2019t hardly take a bath Saturdays without one of them in the tub with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, in that case, I\u2019m sorry we Cartwrights bothered you with our mundane little problems.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t go gettin\u2019 nasty with me, Adam. I\u2019m doin\u2019 the best I can without much to work with.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grimaced. \u201cIt\u2019s just a little frustrating to think the law\u2019s on the side of the people who nearly killed Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy sighed. \u201cThe letter<\/em> of the law may be on their side, but I enforce the spirit<\/em> of it, don\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry I doubted you. You want to stay a while? Have dinner with us?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah, I can\u2019t, Adam. One o\u2019 them Pinks may start missin\u2019 me and then they\u2019ll think I\u2019m the one robbed the train.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

It was an unwilling, unwitting, and totally innocent conspiracy of events, but before it was over, the lives of the three Cartwright boys would be shattered, and by none other than their father\u2014also an innocent participant. The only truly guilty parties were perhaps<\/em> Lady, and definitely<\/em> the good folk of Virginia City\u2014not that anyone would have blamed them for a minute. After all, Lady only did what any dog would do, while the humans only followed human nature.<\/p>\n

It began when Joe wrote his letter. He had to write it right-handed\u2014which he could do with some difficulty\u2014and because of his collarbone, much movement at all caused him to wince, but he could not bear the thought of someone else writing his Pa for him. So he marshaled his strength and took pen in hand.<\/p>\n

Dear Pa,<\/em><\/p>\n

Well, I know you are looking at this and thinking WHY IS MY FAVORITE SON RIGHTING WITH HIS WRITE HAND? It\u2019s a long story, and way too interesting for any old letter, but to make that long story short I broke my collar bone again. Fortunately we have a dog now. Her name is Lady. She pretty much saved my life but we\u2019ll tell you all about that when you come home. Doc said I need to not run around too much so I\u2019ve got her to do a lot of my fetchin and carryin. Funny I call her my Lady, Hoss calls her his Lady, and we both know she\u2019s Adam\u2019s, but of course he ignores her even though she loves him. She\u2019s been so helpful around here Pa, even Hop Sing praises her to the skies. I wish you could see her. She\u2019s a little funny lookin, that is what Adam says, with a long skinny nose that makes her look like a wolf, but she does have beautiful blue eyes and Hoss says she has a great smile, and when the sunlight catches her hair just right it fairly sparkles. She\u2019s wonderful sweet, about as sweet as you can imagine. Since I got laid up she\u2019s been sleeping with me most every night. Adam said you wouldn\u2019t like it but I\u2019m betting you\u2019ll make an acception when you meet her. Tilly, the new schoolmarm, has been up here a lot, she just showed up the first night after I was hurt and they say she and Adam talked all night long and sang to me. She knows that French song that Mama used to sing to me. She\u2019s a good person for all she is a teacher and talks about as funny as Adam.<\/em><\/p>\n

Well my hand hurts so I\u2019ll quit now. Hope you get done with all that court marshal buisness real soon.<\/em><\/p>\n

Love from your son,<\/em><\/p>\n

Joseph<\/em><\/p>\n

A totally innocent letter, except perhaps of the crime of creative spelling. But it was the beginning of the apocalypse.<\/p>\n

Hoss stomped in. \u201cYou done yet? I been waitin\u2019 an hour!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m an artist. I gotta create my masterpiece. What\u2019s Lady barkin\u2019 about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe and Adam\u2019s havin\u2019 a disagreement,\u201d Hoss grinned. \u201cHe wants her to take a bath, and she thinks rollin\u2019 in pony pills IS a bath. Right now I think Adam\u2019s winning, though\u2014he got her in the tub at least.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was fretting at the bit. He and Joe were both up and around now, eating solid foods, and pretty much behaving like everything was normal\u2026except for the small detail of Joe\u2019s collar bone. Any danger from the blood transfusion seemed to have bypassed them. Hoss was ready to begin work again Monday\u2014if his \u201ctrial\u201d today went well. He would drive the wagon into town, pick up the mail and some supplies (with the help of his cousin Will), and if he had no problems then, as Adam had said \u201cI\u2019ll put you to work so hard you\u2019ll wish you were still flat on your back.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lady, who would be the major agent of sabotage in the conspiracy, charged into the room barking merrily, her heavy coat soaked through from the bath she had just escaped. She skidded to a halt next to Joe and Hoss, gleefully shook herself with gale force energy, and water flew everywhere\u2014including on Joe\u2019s letter. Adam, himself drenched, burst into the room a minute later, issuing threats and damnations that should have made the collie\u2019s fur fall out in bunches, but she seemed unfazed, even jumping up and planting sloppy kisses all over him before Adam managed to immobilize her. \u201cYou know, you could still get kicked out,\u201d he blustered as he dragged her back down the stairs, and she just barked at him and tried to wiggle away again.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, he means that all right,\u201d Joe said soberly.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh sure. He was serious,\u201d Hoss agreed\u2014and then the two brothers looked at each other and burst out laughing. \u201cJoe, does it seem to you that Adam\u2019s changed a little?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly from northwest to southeast,\u201d Joe replied with a grin. \u201cDo you suppose it was what happened to us that brought it on?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. I\u2019d venture a guess that he started before that\u2026maybe the night of that dance you lied about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe? Tell a lie?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t give me the innocent green eyes, Little Brother, we both know what you did. I think the change started then, but somethin\u2019 happened in between that set it in stone. Well, I hope it\u2019s set in stone. I\u2019m findin\u2019 this Adam\u2019s a little easier to get along with than the one we\u2019re used to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think Adam started changin\u2019 as soon as he found Lady,\u201d Little Joe commented. \u201cHe just had to get worse before he got better is all. But you\u2019re right\u2014on a good day, this Adam\u2019s almost even likable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, you quit yer gigglin\u2019 and gimme that letter. Good Lord, Joe, it\u2019s soaked.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust blot it downstairs, and nobody\u2019ll ever know. My hand\u2019s way too tired to try writin\u2019 it again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss took the letter downstairs, set it on the blotter, and then realized he\u2019d forgotten his own letter. He galloped back up the stairs, grabbed his letter, returned, and stuffed both letters into the package Adam had prepared, omitting the original step of blotting the letter, and thus becoming the third part of the conspiracy. Now all he had to do was get to town, mail this thing, pick up the supplies, and that would prove to Adam that he was in as good shape as he\u2019d ever been.<\/p>\n

In town there was a letter waiting from his father to all three of them. Not wanting to wait until he got home, Hoss tore it open and discovered the trial had been temporarily adjourned pending the recovery of another witness who had suddenly taken ill. Hoss frowned and looked at the calendar. It was now the last of November; if that trial didn\u2019t finish soon his father wouldn\u2019t be home in time for Christmas. Since Adam had come back from college, there had never been a Cartwright Christmas spent with the family apart. He sighed and stuffed the letter into his pocket.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Twelve days later Ben Cartwright received the package from Adam. He read the letters from his sons in \u201cage\u201d order, noting first with a combination of irritation and pride all the grandiose plans his eldest had implemented for \u201cimproving\u201d the ranch. There was a brief mention that Joe had broken his collar bone\u2014\u201cAgain!\u201d Ben muttered\u2014but was doing fine now.<\/p>\n

Next he read Hoss\u2019s note\u2014all one paragraph of it\u2014talking about how great it would be for Pa to get home where he belonged, and oh by the way, he (Hoss) had been laid up for a couple of days with some undisclosed ailment. \u201cBut Im fine now and if Adam ever quits bein such a old woman about it Ill be back to work again tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s letter, though, looked as if a typhoon had hit it. The paper had been covered with water-droplets at some point, and either poorly blotted or not blotted at all. The ink had smeared in several places and was completely illegible in those spots. But the rest was all too clear, although it made no sense to anyone who had raised his boys the way Ben Cartwright had.<\/p>\n

\u201cMist\u2019 Cartwright, are you okay?\u201d The bellhop\u2019s voice brought him back to the confines of his current world.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m, uh, fine, Domino, I\u2019m just having a little trouble reading my son\u2019s letter.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, the light ain\u2019t any better anyplace in the hotel than right here, suh.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know\u2026thanks, Domino.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt say anything interesting, suh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, yes\u2026apparently some lady saved my youngest son\u2019s life. She seems to be a schoolteacher.\u201d And he\u2019s sleeping with her? And boasting to me about it? And Adam is allowing it because Joe thinks I\u2019ll make an exception?<\/em><\/p>\n

He read the letter again, and finally one more time. Surely something was wrong; the ink was smeared, it had to be covering something vital\u2026<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll get to the bottom of this right now<\/em>. \u201cDomino, will you send a telegram for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSho\u2019 thing, suh. You write it down here and I\u2019ll take it over at the office, suh.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben wrote a few terse words, which Domino flinched on reading. \u201cUh, Mistuh Cartwright, suh, you cain\u2019 say that word in a telegram.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cChange it to whatever you think best,\u201d he snapped, and stamped away.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Will Cartwright stopped in town that day he picked up the mail, the supplies, and everything else he could think of for his cousins, as Adam and Hoss had been out with the new hands working on the north section for the last three days.<\/p>\n

Adam had asked him to hire five new hands. It had come as a surprise to Will, who had looked at the books for the saw mill, the mines, and the ranch, and he knew there was only about $280 to spare for the month after all the operational expenses were met. \u201cI\u2019ll pay for the men myself,\u201d had been the terse reply to the question. Will knew Adam had his own bank account, but it still didn\u2019t make sense.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you just take out a loan against the ranch account?\u201d Will had asked. \u201cI know the Cartwright credit is good. Cyrus even bankrolled me lately, with nothing but a reference from you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cThe new men are for my own projects, and they\u2019re not projects that Pa approved. He shouldn\u2019t have to pay for them.\u201d<\/p>\n

So Will shrugged and took Mutton Jim into town to hire five new men.<\/p>\n

That had been four days ago. Now picking up supplies and such, Will also decided to check at the telegraph office. Sure enough, there was a wire from Ben. \u201cWhat the devil do you think you are doing\u201d was all it said.<\/p>\n

Little Joe, wearing a sling that strapped his left arm completely to his chest, was the only one at home and he was bored stiff. The telegram Will brought him was the antidote to boredom, however, as the two speculated on what it meant.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, only thing that makes sense is that it was one of the letters in the last package we sent,\u201d Joe ruminated. \u201cAnd since my letter was as innocent as a little furry puppy, and Hoss\u2019s was probably as boring as listening to the Widow Hawkins talk about her days in the circus, it had to be something Adam said. And since Adam always plays it safe, the only thing it could be is that he told Pa about the windmills and stuff\u2014he said he was going to\u2014and Pa\u2019s mad about Adam doing it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShall I take this out to Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo; I\u2019ll reply. And then, if you\u2019d just send it next time you\u2019re in town\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure.\u201d Dubiously he looked over Joe\u2019s shoulder as the reply was composed. \u201cDon\u2019t you think that sounds a little saucy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah, he knows I always talk that way.\u201d<\/p>\n

The reply read \u201cPa: it is called progress and with Adam\u2019s help I\u2019m learning all about it now that you are gone. Come home soon and we can be old-fashioned again but the Ponderosa will be a lot less interesting. Love Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Hoss found his limits a little quicker than he expected<\/em>, Adam reflected as the two heaved another plank into place. For a minute he considered teasing his brother about it. Then he shook his head. It was his own fault anyway, for giving in to Hoss\u2019s demands and putting him back to work too early.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019re you shakin\u2019 yer head fer?\u201d Hoss demanded, breathing heavily.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was just thinkin\u2019 how crazy the weather is,\u201d Adam said. \u201cAny other year this time we\u2019d be buried under a few feet of snow. But it\u2019s acting like Indian summer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think there\u2019s been a few flurries at night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but they\u2019re gone by daytime and then the mercury\u2019s in the 60\u2019s again. Last newspaper I saw said this is the warmest, driest weather we\u2019ve ever had for the time of year. Even though it\u2019s been overcast the last couple days, it\u2019s too dry, and not cold enough to snow\u2026Makes a man sweat too hard to hold a hammer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh. Speak fer yerself, scrawny boy,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cI got plenty a\u2019 spunk left in me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot me,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cI guess you can finish up here if you want, but we\u2019ve been up here four days straight and I\u2019m about done in. I\u2019m goin\u2019 home. And tomorrow being Saturday, I vote we take the weekend off, as well. C\u2019mon. Look at Beauty here. This boy\u2019s anxious to go home, aren\u2019t ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

And Beauty, who would be dead in less than 24 hours, nickered and butted his head against Adam\u2019s chest. \u201cEver notice, Hoss,\u201d Adam said as he scratched behind Beauty\u2019s ears with both hands, \u201cjust how much some animals like being touched? It\u2019s kind of funny when you think about it\u2014especially with horses, since they\u2019re prey animals. You\u2019d think they would like a lot of empty space around in case they need to make a run for it. It must take a lot of trust for a horse to actually want contact with a human.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you\u2019ve been gettin\u2019 hit with more blindin\u2019 flashes of the obvious than I can shake a stick at lately. Now, if you\u2019re goin\u2019 home\u2026I guess I could use a bath, at that. But Adam\u2026I know what yer thinkin\u2019, so don\u2019t try this on me again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no idea what you mean. Let\u2019s go home. I\u2019ll break out Pa\u2019s good whisky. Wonder if horses drink whisky.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Joe and Cochise could tell you some stories\u2026\u201d Hoss suddenly recalled something horrifying. \u201cOh\u2026er\u2026Adam, about that good whisky of Pa\u2019s\u2026\u2019member when we first got Lady?\u201d<\/p>\n

Doc told me people with a lot of blood loss get tired easy. Anemia, maybe<\/em>, Adam thought, scarcely listening as Hoss explained the fate of the \u201cgood whisky.\u201d I think I\u2019ll find some easy work for him next week. And we\u2019ll all take it easy this weekend. Maybe Tilly will come out tomorrow and we can sing\u2026just stop that! You\u2019ve been working too hard too, Adam boy.<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter 10<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tilly did come that next day, but Adam didn\u2019t know it. He only knew, when he had the chance to think about it later, that it was one of the most awful days of his life.<\/p>\n

It began before dawn, with Lady whining. Not anxious to put his bare feet on the cold floor, Adam tried to sweet-talk the dog into settling down, but she was whining and pacing restlessly and would not be silenced.<\/p>\n

Finally he sighed, pulled on his shirt and pants, and picked up his boots, hoping he wouldn\u2019t need them. \u201cYou\u2019d better have a serious need to go outside, dog.\u201d He opened his door and followed her downstairs with his boots under one arm, buttoning the shirt as he walked. He hopped around to put his boots on, muttering the whole time, and Hop Sing came out in his nightshirt and slippers. \u201cWhat happen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, her majesty needs to go outside.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Hop Sing insisted. \u201cSomething happen in yard a few minutes ago. Woke me up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou heard something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but I do not know what. Maybe wind blow over some cans. Sounded like cans.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll check.\u201d Adam yawned and put on his gunbelt out of habit, thinking distractedly that Hop Sing was saying the letter \u201cl\u201d a lot better these days. He grabbed his hat and jacket and opened the door. Instantly Lady shot through it and ran out to the middle of the yard, fur standing on end and her stubby tail straight up and bristling.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re going someplace you could wait for the two-legged guy to catch up,\u201d Adam called, but she wasn\u2019t listening; or at least, she wasn\u2019t listening to him. She whined uneasily, her head held high, nose twisting and turning to get the scent of whatever it was that she was looking for. Adam shook his head as she suddenly cantered off into the dark. \u201cLady, get back here! Lady, come!\u201d<\/p>\n

For the first time since he\u2019d known her, she didn\u2019t instantly reappear. \u201cDamnfool mutt,\u201d he muttered, and went to the barn, which was at least warmer than outdoors. Beauty, the only current resident, jerked his head up and nickered in recognition. Sleepy as he was, Adam still grinned. He wondered if he\u2019d ever get used to the idea that his horse was glad to see him. \u201cYou must be lonely,\u201d he murmured. \u201cAll your buddies out in the pasture tonight and you stuck here \u2019cause you have to work tomorrow too\u2026\u201d He tickled Beauty\u2019s nose, grinning as the horse wiggled its top lip at him. \u201cTechnically, it\u2019s tomorrow now<\/em>. In a few hours we\u2019ll ride into town and see how Tilly feels about coming out for a musical afternoon\u2026of course, the damnfool fur ball\u2019s gone off on a hike\u2026How do you feel about an early morning ride right now?\u201d he asked, laying the blanket across Beauty\u2019s back. \u201cReal early. I think it\u2019s only a little after three.\u201d A few minutes later he had Beauty tacked up and was leading him from the barn. It was cold, but not as cold as he had thought it would be. The air was heavy and still, a funny smell in his nose that he couldn\u2019t identify\u2026and he began to understand Lady\u2019s profound sense of unease. He shook his head to clear it, but the cobwebs were still there. He closed the barn door and walked over to the pump to splash some water from the horse trough on his face.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing was still at the door of the house, a strange look on his face. \u201cMister Adam\u2026\u201d he called, in a doubtful tone.<\/p>\n

Adam, unhearing or unheeding, mounted Beauty and murmured, \u201cCome on, fella, let\u2019s go find our dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing\u2019s eyes suddenly shot open, and he cried, \u201cMister Adam, come back\u2014there\u2014\u201d but Adam didn\u2019t hear him. Hop Sing raced back into the house to wake up Hoss and Joe.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

In the night silence Adam could easily hear Lady in front of them, even occasionally catch a white blurry movement as she zig-zagged through the night. With sudden clarity Adam realized something:\u00a0 Lady was heading directly for the south pasture. And what was stranger, as they trotted along, he could\u2014not consistently but periodically\u2014detect whiffs of kerosene. Someone carrying a kerosene lamp? Whoever it was, he had come and gone, and Lady was tailing him. Briefly he wondered if he should return to the house and get Hoss and Joe, but Hoss was still exhausted from their previous work, and Joe didn\u2019t need to be bouncing around in a saddle with his injuries. Besides, by the time they caught their own mounts Lady would be long gone.<\/p>\n

It took longer than usual to get to the fence line because of the darkness; he let Beauty have his head and pick the way himself, though, since obviously the horse had figured out the intent here was to follow his dog friend. But when they did at last arrive at the fence\u2026it wasn\u2019t there. Oh, the posts were there. So was the wire. But the wire was lying in long wavy lengths on the ground, and the posts had been torn from the ground and were lying flat. The cattle were in and out of the fence\u2014and beginning to bunch uneasily, trotting about and lowing in distress. And that kerosene smell was getting stronger too\u2014and then he knew, just about the time he heard the shot. Lady whizzed by him, yelping, running for home at top speed with her tail clamped to her butt and blood dripping from her flank\u2014but by then he could see the flames coming from the west. He kicked Beauty into a gallop and headed toward the fire. It was still small; maybe he could contain it before it got out of control.<\/p>\n

Contain it with what? I don\u2019t even have my bedroll\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Beauty stopped dead, Adam nearly flying over his head but grabbing the saddle horn just in time. He jumped off the horse, dropping the reins to ground tie him and hastily pulled the saddle off, grabbing the blanket. \u201cJust stay here. Just don\u2019t run,\u201d he murmured, trying to sound calm, like the fear and rage he felt weren\u2019t there. He sprinted like mad toward the fire. But when he topped the rise, he saw what he hadn\u2019t seen before\u2014there was more than one fire. There were dozens of them. Whoever had done it\u2014and he had no doubt who that was\u2014was setting small, scattered fires randomly, and with drops of kerosene soaking the dry grass in between it wouldn\u2019t take long for it to spread like\u2026well, like the wildfire it was going to become. And it was heading right for the house. Only it would get to him first, if he didn\u2019t move fast. Three of the smaller fires had converged into one big one even as he looked.<\/p>\n

He ran back to Beauty, who was already dancing in a nervous circle, ears flattened against his head, eyes rolling in fright. Another minute and you\u2019d have bolted, wouldn\u2019t you<\/em>, he thought. I don\u2019t blame you a bit.<\/em> \u201cThanks for waiting\u2026let\u2019s get outta here.\u201d Not bothering with the saddle, he vaulted up on Beauty\u2019s sweating back and turned him toward home. Needing no encouragement, Beauty sprang forward as if fired from a cannon.<\/p>\n

Behind him he heard the explosions of more kerosene igniting. Before it got refined it exploded a lot, he remembered this from the mines, but it didn\u2019t stop him\u2014or Beauty\u2014from jumping half out of their skins with each muted \u201cpop.\u201d And to make matters worse, the little moonlight there was had now been completely obscured by the clouds overhead, the ones that had been threatening the area for days but had never seen fit to rain. We could sure use some of that rain right now, Lord<\/em>, he thought as Beauty plunged onward. But no rain came.<\/p>\n

Adam had never been the best bareback rider, but tonight he finally knew what Joe meant when he talked about \u201cbeing part of the horse.\u201d He hunched low over Beauty\u2019s neck and gripped the horse\u2019s sides with his knees and\u2014<\/p>\n

\u2014a metallic CLANK ripped through the night and Beauty, screaming as no horse was ever meant to scream, plunged head over heels into the darkness.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

\u201cWho was here?\u201d Hoss demanded as he fetched another bucket of water. Hop Sing had roused him and Little Joe from a sound sleep and now had both of them pumping up water and forming something akin to a moat around the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot know!\u201d Hop Sing bellowed. \u201cBut there is kerosene every place! Must move faster\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour shoulder okay?\u201d Hoss asked as Little Joe trudged by with his own pail.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d Joe said sleepily. \u201cBut this must be a dream anyway because there\u2019s no girls at all, and Hop Sing\u2019s talking almost like a regular guy.\u201d<\/p>\n

The galloping of a horse coming up the road startled all three of them, and they whirled to see Will riding in.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, there\u2019s a fire out in your south pasture!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d Hoss straightened at once. \u201cHow bad?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t tell exactly. Couldn\u2019t see well enough. It\u2019s almost like an oil fire, there\u2019s a lot of smoke. Besides, your cattle spooked, Hoss; they\u2019re out all over the place. Tore through old man MacDonald\u2019s place, busted his corral; a couple of \u2019em are in the ditch by the road and there\u2019s a couple hundred more heading toward my land. My men are trying to gather them up right now. Where\u2019s Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood question. Where is<\/em> Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe with the schoolteacher,\u201d Joe yawned.<\/p>\n

\u201cBite your tongue, Little Brother. Hop Sing! Where\u2019s Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe ride out with Lady, almost one hour ago. Lady very worried.\u201d<\/p>\n

Will snickered. \u201cIsn\u2019t Lady the dog? What did he mean, she\u2019s<\/em> worried?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked at him. \u201cCousin, when Lady worries, the whole house worries with her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn that case, I sure hope she took him south. That\u2019s something to worry about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburn it, I don\u2019t doubt it. Hey, Joe! Think you might be up to some work?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does it look like I\u2019m doin\u2019?\u201d Joe called back across the yard.<\/p>\n

\u201cWill, I\u2019m gonna go catch up our horses; will you go over t\u2019the bunkhouse and get everybody up? We gotta get movin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Will turned and headed off on his mission.\u00a0 Joe looked blearily at Hoss. \u201cIt\u2019s gonna take you forever to catch \u2019em. You know how they like to play when it\u2019s cold. And you should never have put \u2019em out in the pasture.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Little Brother, but I was under the impression that I had the weekend off. And Cooch\u2019s been out there ever since you had yer accident. Hey, you think you can ride one handed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can ride better with one hand than most guys can with two,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cYou want me to ride out to the south pasture?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Joe, I want you to get into town and see about gettin\u2019 any help you can to fight the fire.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go, but not many people are gonna ride all the way out here to help us,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cHow many head are in the south pasture?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout thirteen-hundred, spread all over the place too. We\u2019re gonna lose some for certain sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Adam came to with Lady anxiously licking his face. \u201cCame back, huh. Very gracious of you.\u201d He wondered why she had run away. And why in blazes he was lying on the ground instead of his bed\u2026He started to sit up and oh God!<\/em> The pain shot out from his back to every corner of his body. Bad enough he was seeing two of everything\u2026and there was a roaring in his ears\u2026blood dripping from his head\u2026and a funny orange glow in the southern sky\u2026<\/p>\n

Fire! We gotta get outta here!<\/em> He started, hearing the strange, almost unearthly groaning nearby. He pushed himself up, gasping as the back spasm continued, and he realized something was wrong with his left wrist. \u201cBeauty,\u201d he muttered. \u201cYou got some answering to\u2026\u201d and he gasped as he realized the bizarre groan was coming from Beauty, who was lying some 15 feet away.<\/p>\n

Unable to put any weight on his left hand, Adam used his elbows to drag himself over to the horse, who groaned again, and in the faint moonlight he could see what had happened. Not too surprising, he thought, wondering why he was still surprised. Beauty had stepped squarely into a steel trap.<\/p>\n

Beauty squealed again and tried vainly to get up. Quickly Adam stretched himself across the horse\u2019s neck, forcing him to stay down. \u201cEasy fella\u2026easy.\u201d There was really no point in looking; he knew what he would see. He looked anyway\u2026for a second. \u201cOh dear God,\u201d he whispered, and put his head down on Beauty\u2019s neck. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I\u2019m so sorry\u2026\u201d Here he was in the middle of nowhere, with a fire coming at him and he was apologizing. To a horse. He knew better. You don\u2019t have time to philosophize over it. It\u2019s just a horse. It\u2019s just transportation. Get it over with. <\/em><\/p>\n

But he\u2019s not \u201cjust\u201d anything! He\u2019s a friend\u2026and how many of my friends do I have to shoot in this life?<\/em><\/p>\n

Sensitivity, loyalty, and practicality merged in that instant: all the more reason to do it. Horses can\u2019t live through a broken leg\u2014it\u2019s shattered in pieces, and he\u2019s in agony\u2026and I\u2019m prolonging his pain by being a coward<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cBeauty\u2026\u201d The horse groaned again, and looked up at him, his eyes rolling in pain, fear, and lack of understanding, his ears pinned back. \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u2026I can\u2019t do anything for you but this\u2026my friend.\u201d The gun was in his hand as he spoke. He knew he would lose his nerve if he waited. So he didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Lady yelped as the gun went off, and ran a few feet away. The fire was still headed for them; Adam tried again to get up, but when he got to his knees, dizziness overcame him and his vision blurred.<\/p>\n

\u201cLady\u2026\u201d he shook his head as she approached. Another spasm hit his back and he fell back on his side, gasping, knees drawn up to his chest. Between the dizziness and the blood from the gash on his head he could no longer see at all. \u201cLady,\u201d he choked out, and then the blackness took him.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

It was six a.m., and daylight was fast approaching. Tilly had taken a bunch of work home with her the night before and was on her way to return it all to the school before she rented Thunder for the day. Lately the boarding house seemed strangely silent; a great many of Mrs. O\u2019Reilly\u2019s boarders had, for some reason or other, moved elsewhere all of a sudden. Well, a boarding house was only a place to stay, anyway\u2014a good place to visit, however, was the Ponderosa. Only thing that house didn\u2019t have was a piano; otherwise it was the perfect house and certainly as close to a perfect family as she could find. The way Hoss and Joe acted reminded her of her own little brothers, and Hop Sing was both a great cook and a lively conversationalist when people took the time to talk to him. And of course Adam was there; she was certain Adam was the Ponderosa\u2019s version of the Rock of Gibraltar, as well as being an interesting if irritating fellow. The two had come to a tacit arrangement since Joe\u2019s injury; each Saturday he would ride into town, rent Thunder for her, and escort her back to the ranch. After dinner he rode back to town with her, and then left for home again. He never asked; he simply showed up with Thunder. And somehow she never had other plans.<\/p>\n

The funny thing about Adam was that after he got to know a person, he started trying to take care of them. Tilly wasn\u2019t exactly certain what she was to him, but one thing was certain: she didn\u2019t want him looking on her as another missionary project. So today, she was going to surprise him. She had a few dollars of her own; she\u2019d rent Thunder herself.<\/p>\n

She dropped the papers off at the school house, and headed over to the livery, only to have to dive away from the road as Little Joe Cartwright barreled into town at full tilt. He headed for the jail, rushing in and coming out with the sheriff, both of them talking a mile a minute. He then ran to the home of Mr. Cass, who owned one of the town\u2019s general stores, then proceeded to yell and pound on the door until Cass finally showed up.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood Lord,\u201d she muttered to herself, \u201clast time anybody from the Ponderosa came into town like this, all hell had broken loose out there, and this must mean it\u2019s happening again\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

She ran over to Little Joe, who was handing Cass a list.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have everything by the door by the time you get a team over,\u201d Cass said. Joe nodded his thanks and headed back to the street.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe?\u201d She had to run to keep up with him. \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPonderosa\u2019s on fire,\u201d he said tersely, and jumped back on his horse. Cochise whinnied a bit indignantly and wheeled to gallop over to the livery stable. Tilly charged down the street after him, her skirts hitched and flying, and she arrived, panting, to hear the argument going on.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot with one arm you ain\u2019t,\u201d Otis Watts was yelling. \u201cIt\u2019d be suicide, and more important, it\u2019d get my horses killed and my wagon wrecked.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, everybody knows you Cartwrights crap marble, but you can\u2019t drive a team one-handed! Maybe if you had a couple months to practice with nice weather and a good wide road\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can drive a team,\u201d Tilly put in. \u201cMy Pa let me drive from Savannah to Charleston. Four horses. More\u2019n a hundred miles.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere,\u201d Joe practically spat. \u201cNow come on!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut she\u2019s a girl!\u201d Otis whined.<\/p>\n

Joe grabbed him by the collar. \u201cYeah she is, and I\u2019m gonna hold you down and let her snatch you bald-headed and kick you to death if you don\u2019t get us goin\u2019 right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou won\u2019t need to hold him,\u201d Tilly retorted. \u201cI can kick his<\/em> kind to death with very little assistance. Otis, in case you didn\u2019t know, there\u2019s a fire on the Ponderosa. Get moving!\u201d<\/p>\n

Neither she nor Joe looked to see if he would.<\/p>\n

As they left the barn, Tilly said, \u201cI really can drive a team, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGod, I hope so,\u201d Joe wheezed, slumping against Cochise. \u201cI half busted a gut to get out here and if I\u2019d had to put up a fight, it wouldn\u2019t\u2019ve been much of a showing, even against Otis. If I could just get my arm outta this thing it\u2019d be easier, but the way Doc\u2019s got it slinged I\u2019m all off balance. It\u2019s been three weeks, you\u2019d think a bone would heal by now\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGot a pocketknife?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but\u2014you\u2019re not gonna give me a lot of guff about how I need to keep my arm like this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo; I know a different way to do it that should help. Take off your jacket and shirt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll need a little help,\u201d he said dryly.<\/p>\n

He unbuttoned his coat and shirt and un-tucked the empty arm from his pants; she pulled them from him and cut the sling off. He gasped a little as his arm came loose from its tightly bound position. \u201cYou sure you know what you\u2019re doin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot really\u2014I just saw a Spanish doctor do it and it worked really well. Woo, it really is cold this morning!\u201d She took the length of cloth and wound it around his bad shoulder and under his armpit several times, then yanked back hard, eliciting a surprised yowl of pain from Joe. Then she stretched the remaining cloth across his back and under his other armpit, winding it around and tying it at the top of his good shoulder. \u201cHow\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tell you when I can breathe again,\u201d he gasped, flexing his left hand for the first time in three weeks. \u201cHey, it still works!\u201d<\/p>\n

She helped him put his shirt and jacket back on just as Otis walked up with a two-horse hitch. \u201cTake \u2019em over to Cass\u2019s,\u201d Joe instructed. \u201cI gotta get up to Sheriff Coffee\u2019s; I\u2019ll meet you at the store.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mr. Cass was at the store front when she arrived. \u201cBest I could do was thirty blankets, twenty-five sandbags, eleven buckets, six pick-and-shovel sets, and five axes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd a partridge in a pear tree,\u201d Tilly muttered, but Cass just looked blankly at her as she started loading the wagon.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou gonna pick those sandbags up by yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am if you won\u2019t help me,\u201d she said, and kept working. He grumbled and climbed up to help. By the time Joe and Roy got back the wagon was only half-loaded, though, and Roy climbed up, tsking and shooing Tilly away, to lend a hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is everybody?\u201d Tilly asked Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe got three volunteers,\u201d Joe replied darkly. \u201cAnd they said they\u2019d come up after<\/em> they have breakfast and if<\/em> I pay them 50 bucks apiece. And the Pinkertons said we\u2019re not part of their project so they don\u2019t care.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll pass ya in a few minutes,\u201d Roy called as he jumped back onto the store porch. Tilly nodded acknowledgment and heighed the horses out. They left Cochise at the livery.<\/p>\n

Eight miles from the house Joe pointed to a narrow trail uphill. \u201cThat cutoff will take us right to the south pasture.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWon\u2019t we be on the other side of the fire from everyone else?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot if the wind hasn\u2019t changed. We may have to cut the wire to get through the fence but the way Will talked, the cattle may have taken the fence out for us already.\u201d As he spoke they heard a frantic barking in the distance, and a few minutes later saw about twenty cows coming toward them at a good clip. Tilly pulled the team hard over and into the trees as the cows tore past.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s in trouble,\u201d Joe said, looking around. \u201cThat\u2019s Lady barking.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDrive,\u201d Joe said. \u201cHead for the noise.\u201d<\/p>\n

As it happened all they had to do was follow the trampled grass\u2014and then they saw where the trampling hooves had cut into two columns, leaving a patch of untouched grass in the middle, and there was Adam, lying across a dead horse. Lady was standing over him, her left side was streaked with blood, and she was still barking wildly. And at the sight of Joe and Tilly, she snarled and headed right for them, teeth bared.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

A day and a half later Adam awoke in his own bed, and this time he was almost lucid. It was getting dark outside, which confused him into thinking very little time had passed. His head ached, he still couldn\u2019t see straight, and he was lying flat on his back, which hurt like blazes. His left wrist was awfully swollen, and he couldn\u2019t even feel his right leg. Joe was sitting on one side of the bed, reading Despard the Spy<\/em>; Tilly was dozing in a chair on the other side, and Lady was on the bed with Adam, her left side bereft of much of its silver fur and displaying a long red row of stitches.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey,\u201d Joe said softly, giving him a lopsided smile and wondering how much, if any, Adam would remember this time. \u201cI\u2019m takin\u2019 bets on how long you\u2019ll stay conscious. Wanna place one?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWha\u2026happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t stay awake long enough to hear the story, Older Brother, trust me. We\u2019ve tried to keep you awake, but you\u2019ve been in and out so much the last 24 hours\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed. \u201cBeauty\u2019s dead, Joe\u2026I hadda\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. I saw.\u201d He didn\u2019t bother mentioning that it was the first thing Adam told him every time he woke up. \u201cI\u2019m real sorry. He was a fine horse, too. But you did right by him.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was something else, but Adam couldn\u2019t remember what, so he just kept looking at Joe. Joe shrugged; he had told him everything six or seven times already. But once more couldn\u2019t hurt.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe fire\u2019s mostly out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFire.\u201d He squinted at Joe. \u201cWha\u2026fire?\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul Martin had told Joe that with head injuries like Adam\u2019s there was frequently a lot of short-term memory loss, but it was still unnerving to see. Especially from Adam, who probably remembered his own birth and all nine months before.<\/p>\n

Joe put on a brave face. \u201cThere was a fire; started in the south pasture. That\u2019s where you and Lady were when we found you. Hoss took a bunch of guys out and they fought it with everything, Adam\u2014digging ditches, using wet blankets, some of us formed a little bucket brigade. It was rough, though, since there were only about 30 of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat many?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWill came over with his men, and a couple other folk helped. Roy couldn\u2019t get a posse together and the Pinks wouldn\u2019t come either. In the end, though, it all came down to the good Lord. Guess he got sick of seein\u2019 what was happenin\u2019 to all those trees.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRained\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike you wouldn\u2019t believe. But not until we were about ready to give up. Fire got up to the house, but luckily we\u2019re still okay; barn\u2019s a bit scorched, but that\u2019s it. Whoever said the Lord moves in mysterious ways sure wasn\u2019t jokin\u2019. About midnight the rain turned to slush, and by this afternoon it was snowing. Guess whichever angel is in charge of the weather finally remembered it\u2019s winter.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

Seeing Adam really did seem to be fully conscious, Joe told him. \u201cHe\u2019s in bed. He took the first shift with you and wanted to stay, but he was pretty tired and Tilly and Hop Sing and I ganged up on him and made him lie down. The rest of us have been rotating shifts with you. That is, me and Hop Sing and Tilly and Will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut is Hoss okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc says he is. His eyebrows got singed off, so no jokes about \u2019em when you see him. And he needs more rest and lots of red meat and beef broth. Hop Sing and Tilly have been makin\u2019 sure he gets plenty of both. They keep pushing broth in my direction too, but I wouldn\u2019t take any until Hop Sing told me his English was good enough to land him a job at the International House and he was tempted.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened to Lady?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc Martin says somebody took a shot at her. Fortunately it only grazed her side. Shoulda seen Doc\u2019s face when I asked if he\u2019d tend to her.\u201d Joe chuckled. \u201cSaid he\u2019d thought nothing the Cartwrights do could surprise him, but he was wrong again.\u201d He pointed a finger at Adam. \u201cYou owe me, Adam. That dog was stark raving mad when I found you. She\u2019d just split a group of cows down the middle so they wouldn\u2019t run over you, and when she saw me and Tilly coming it was as if she just couldn\u2019t stop. She ran at me, and if Tilly hadn\u2019t smacked her with a shovel I\u2019m thinking Hoss might have had to foot the bill for another bloodletting.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLady\u2026attacked you? But she loves you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. When I told Hoss about it, he said between all the pain from bein\u2019 shot and the constant worryin\u2019 with keeping the critters away from you, that she was just overwrought and mistook us for some more critters wantin\u2019 to step on you. Anyhow, once she got up she was a little unsteady on her feet but she remembered who we were.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow did you get us\u00a0home?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly. We picked you up and heaved you into the back of the wagon with the other soggy blankets, and Lady jumped up on her own.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, you and Tilly picked me up?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike a side of beef, that\u2019s what I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou with one hand, and her a girl?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell in case you ain\u2019t noticed before, Older Brother, I\u2019ve picked you up before. And I happen to have two hands, just \u2019cause one of \u2019em don\u2019t work good at the moment doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s not there. Besides, I wanna tell you about the lady schoolmarm over there\u2026\u201d he lowered his voice to a stage whisper. \u201cShe\u2019s strong as a horse and can use words that would make our pa the sailor hide under a barrel. She apologized later and said it was \u2018under duress,\u2019 whatever that means, but I just told her I was gonna write everything down since I think I learned some new cusswords. What the heck is a pastanaga<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was fading, and he couldn\u2019t stay awake. He tried to focus. \u201cWhy was\u2014what\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head in irritation and looked at the clock. Then he grinned at the still-sleeping Tilly. \u201cYou owe me five dollars.\u201d But the grin faded as he said it. He\u2019d joked around with Adam because Adam was used to it. And if he\u2019d gotten all serious, Adam might have figured out just how close a shave he\u2019d had.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Tilly was awake the next time Adam woke up, and Joe had nodded off, so this time she had the honor of repeating most of what Joe had told him. \u201cAdam, listen,\u201d she finally said, slowly and clearly, \u201cyou have a bad concussion. We\u2019re pretty sure you hit your head on a metal box. That\u2019s why your eyesight is blurry and your head hurts\u2026and why your memory is shot full of holes. You need to relax and not worry about anything right now. Plenty of time for that when you\u2019re up to it. Right now all you need to know is that everyone you care about is safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBeauty\u2019s not,\u201d Adam whispered. For some reason, he had no problem at all remembering that.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s true, but you couldn\u2019t help that. I saw him too; that leg shattered like a china doll.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLady saw me do it\u2026she ran away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLady may not have understood what was happening, but she forgave you and came back. Otherwise she wouldn\u2019t be with you now. And you were brave to end his suffering.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed. \u201cTilly\u2026I can\u2019t feel my right leg.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you mentioned that before,\u201d she said, and he wondered about that; he didn\u2019t know he\u2019d spoken to her before. \u201cWe told Doctor Martin; he feels it\u2019s a result of the back injury you had a couple of years ago. He thinks there\u2019s a pinched nerve in your back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan he fix it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot really. He said if you could stretch your leg a little it would help your back. He said you should remember the exercises. The way you\u2019re shifting around you must be in some pain, though\u2014can I do anything to make you more comfortable?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be silly; you\u2019re not all right,\u201d Tilly said sharply. \u201cI just told you, you have a concussion, and a pinched nerve, and a bad sprain on that left wrist. We haven\u2019t bandaged it yet because it\u2019s so swollen. I think you should try to sleep on your side, Adam. It would probably help because it would stretch your back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would love to lie on my side; but, I can\u2019t turn over right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, I\u2019ll push you from the back and we\u2019ll get you on your right side. Then we\u2019ll pull your legs up and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, stop right there. You can\u2019t go pulling on my limbs\u2014it\u2019s way over the line. You shouldn\u2019t even be here!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? Because you\u2019re the one hurt and nobody\u2019s allowed to know? When it was Hoss and Little Joe you sure welcomed my company.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026\u201d and then he just couldn\u2019t think of anything else to say. She pushed him over onto his side, and then took pity on his embarrassment. \u201cJoseph, wake up and pull your Damn Yankee brother\u2019s right leg up; it\u2019s numb.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe jerked awake. \u201cOh, I love listening to you two sparkin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, there\u2019s some sparks all right,\u201d Tilly said. \u201cGrab up under the knee, that\u2019s the best place.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re as big a know-it-all as Adam, anybody ever tell you that?\u201d Joe asked with a grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you mind<\/em>?\u201d Adam shouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, excuse me; I was just leaving anyway,\u201d Tilly snapped. \u201cI\u2019ve got to take the wagon back to town.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not driving a team on snow-covered roads, are you?\u201d Adam demanded. \u201cThat\u2019s\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me guess; it\u2019s something only a man can do,\u201d Tilly retorted. \u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019d love to do it yourself. Doesn\u2019t it stink to be helpless and dependent on other people\u2014especially women<\/em>\u2014to do you a good turn?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll take her, Adam,\u201d Joe replied quickly, seeing Adam\u2019s face redden as Tilly stamped out of the room.<\/p>\n

Tilly\u2019s voice floated up the stairs: \u201cYou\u2019re not taking me anywhere, you little Cajun shrimp!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tellya, Adam, it\u2019s a good thing you like \u2019em mean.\u201d Joe charged after Tilly. \u201cHey, don\u2019t you know the difference between a Cajun and a Creole?\u201d<\/p>\n

She had only stopped to throw on her cloak, but she looked back at Joe and smiled. \u201cNot really. Loo\u2019siana\u2019s not my neck o\u2019 the woods. And one Frenchman\u2019s pretty much like the next to me. But Joe, I am sorry for mouthing off. Especially since it\u2019s your Damn Yankee brother who\u2019s got me so angry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have that much in common with every other Cartwright ever born,\u201d Joe replied, allowing Tilly to help him put his jacket on. \u201cI got a great idea. You help me hitch the horses. It\u2019ll plain-out infuriate my brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell in that case, lead on, Green Knight,\u201d Tilly grinned. \u201cDo you suppose Adam will remember any of this tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe part with me, no. The part with you, I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll never forget. I want to do something very unusual, Tilly,\u201d Joe said with a grin. \u201cI want to say something good about my oldest brother. I never say anything good about Adam when a pretty girl is at stake, but I\u2019ll take a chance just this once: he\u2019s bossy and mean, but he\u2019s only that way with people he cares about. If he didn\u2019t care, he\u2019d just be mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I suppose you didn\u2019t mind the least if I took the wagon back to town on my own?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOooh, toasted on my own retard, or whatever that thing is Adam says.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Hoist on my own petard\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI might\u2019ve figured you\u2019d know it too. Does this mean you\u2019re also bossy and mean, Tilly?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what my little brothers always said.\u201d She laughed. \u201cI was just trying to take care of them, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, just like Adam. He means well,\u201d Joe admitted. \u201cAnd part of me appreciates it. But he also tries to take care of people when they don\u2019t need takin\u2019 care of, and that is the quickest way to rile a fella.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOr a girl,\u201d Tilly chuckled. Joe found himself casting a glance her way as a little confusion entered his head. He\u2019d known girls who were tomboys, but Tilly didn\u2019t seem like a tomboy. Then again, grown women were supposed to wait and let men do things for them. Women who were still women, but who could exist independently and function on their own, were out of his experience. And for all he was certain she had some tender feelings for Adam, she didn\u2019t display them well.<\/p>\n

As he buckled the harnesses on the horses, he remembered she hadn\u2019t gone to pieces when Lady attacked him. Or when they saw Adam draped across Beauty\u2019s body and covered in so much blood that they didn\u2019t know whether it was his or the horse\u2019s. She\u2019d discerned pretty quickly the gash in Adam\u2019s scalp, and while Joe was wondering if he could, or should, ask for a bit of petticoat to bandage his brother\u2019s head, she\u2019d hiked up her skirts without a second thought and yanked off a huge section, even instructing him on the most effective way to wrap it.<\/p>\n

He wondered if she ever cried. But since he had overheard Adam telling Hoss a couple of weeks ago\u2014with a strange kind of totally inappropriate admiration\u2014how Tilly had threatened both himself and their cousin Will with gelding if they didn\u2019t behave properly, Joe decided not to ask her anything.<\/p>\n

He dropped Tilly off at Mrs. O\u2019Reilly\u2019s and returned the wagon to the livery stable, but as he led Cooch out he saw Mike closing up the telegraph office and called down to him to see if anything had arrived for the Cartwrights.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2014actually it\u2019s for Adam, and marked private. But if you give me your word that you\u2019ll deliver it to him unopened, I\u2019ll let you sign for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe made his promise and took the telegram, wondering what Pa had to say that couldn\u2019t be said in front of him and Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter 11<\/strong><\/p>\n

The next time Adam opened his eyes he was greeted with Joe\u2019s smiling countenance. \u201cWanna hear what\u2019s wrong with you? I mean, aside from the obvious fact that you\u2019ve got such a scary beard now that even Lady won\u2019t lick your face?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hurt all over and I\u2019m madder than hell, that\u2019s what\u2019s wrong with me.\u201d He tried to sit up and fell back, gasping. \u201cDammit! Has Roy been out? That fire\u2014you know it was deliberate, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I know stuff that\u2019d make your hair fall out,\u201d Joe said decisively. \u201cFor example, I know Roy caught Orlow Bender and Cassius Biggs less than a mile from our property with a drum full of kerosene and a mule\u2014hey, Adam? Are you really<\/em> awake?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo promises on how long\u2014but I\u2019m awake,\u201d Adam muttered. \u201cI remember some. I remember smelling kerosene. Lady had scented someone and was on their trail, but they must have seen her coming and shot at her\u2026I had some foolish notion of stamping out the fire, but I hadn\u2019t brought anything to use. So I unsaddled Beauty and was going to use his blanket, but by then it was too late. Only thing I could think of was getting back to warn everyone, but all I did was kill my horse.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t blame yourself, Adam,\u201d Joe said softly. \u201cMay not be a good recommendation coming from me, but I can\u2019t see where you did anything different than I would\u2019ve done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo we have a good working damage tally?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like the fire destroyed somewhere around fifteen hundred acres of pasture and forest; there\u2019s about four hundred head of cattle known dead; another four hundred or so still unaccounted for. Will\u2019s boys found some of \u2019em and there\u2019s others wandering around that we haven\u2019t gone after yet. I\u2019m figuring we should probably replace the south side of the barn, but the good news is that the fire didn\u2019t damage the structure, just the outside.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAny horses lost? Besides Beauty I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. All in all, it coulda been worse. Hoss is better today. He went out this morning to look at everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe shouldn\u2019t have done that without Doc Martin\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope, he\u2019s as duty bound as you. With you down, he\u2019s going out all guns to get everything fixed. Listen, Adam, you got a telegram from Pa. It\u2019s marked private, so\u2026here. Can you read it, or are you still seein\u2019 two or three of everything?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll give it a shot,\u201d Adam said, wondering what on earth could be stated in a telegram that Hoss and Joe couldn\u2019t read. The words blurred and jumped around and gave him a fierce headache, but he was eventually able to make them out.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2014gravely concerned at reports from home. Demand a full accounting of activities. Joseph answer inadequate and disrespectful. Repeat what the devil is going on. Leaving 12-28 expect to find things normal repeat normal and proper repeat proper.<\/p>\n

Adam frowned and reread the message. It still made no sense. \u201cDid Pa send a telegram last week when Hoss and I were out working in the north section?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d Joe chuckled. \u201cAll it said was \u2018what the devil is going on?\u2019 I figure you must have set him off talking about all those improvements you wanted to make, so I just told him we were trying to make some progress and modernize the place.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam made a mental note to yell at Joe another time for replying to something that wasn\u2019t his business, but still, he couldn\u2019t see that Joe had said anything to get Pa so up in arms.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2019s leaving on the 28th<\/sup>,\u201d he said instead.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, shoot. He won\u2019t be here for Christmas or New Year. It\u2019ll be middle of January at the earliest. And if the passes get snowed in, he won\u2019t make it home before March,\u201d Joe mumbled.<\/p>\n

\u201cWith the temperatures being so much higher than normal this year, maybe it\u2019ll be a warm winter, too,\u201d Adam suggested. \u201cDon\u2019t worry, Joe; I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll be home soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s return telegram read, \u201cAll books will be available for complete accounting. As for any other questions all will be revealed.\u201d<\/p>\n

He then set about writing a letter in which all would<\/em> be revealed. The problem was that his head still hurt and his vision was still blurry, so he could write very little at a time.<\/p>\n

Dear Pa,<\/em><\/p>\n

This is the last letter I will have time to send before you begin your return trip, but I hope it reaches you in time because there is a lot you need to know before you get here.<\/em><\/p>\n

You will find the Ponderosa very changed, in both good and bad ways. We recently found ourselves battling a fire that destroyed more than 1500 acres of pasture and forest, and killed some 400 head of our cattle. Others are missing. It was only due to Providence, and a lot of work by the ranch hands, ourselves, a couple of neighbors, and a dog, that we were able to stop the blaze before it reached the house. The smoke is still hanging about the place. You may remember a couple of drifters hired prior to your leaving for Kansas; they were bad news for the Ponderosa. They set the fire. We don\u2019t yet know why.<\/em><\/p>\n

I told you before about some of the innovations I have been working on. These have gone well, for the most part, so I will leave the descriptions alone; we\u2019ll take a tour when you get home. As to your concerns about the cost, I will absorb a good deal of it. The rest, I hope, will pay for itself. If it does not, I will cover those costs as well. In any event I\u2019ll make sure the account books will be up-to-date so you will be able to have that \u201cfull accounting\u201d you wanted.<\/em><\/p>\n

That was as far as he could get before his eyesight gave out and a pounding headache started whenever he spent more than a moment trying to focus. Doc Martin had given him all kinds of grief about doing too much too fast. That was also depressing, but not something he could tell Little Joe. However, he was less successful in keeping the information from Hoss. Although keeping busy in taking up the slack Adam\u2019s injuries had caused, as well as taking on Joe\u2019s chores (Doc had been intrigued by the new sling technique, but no more amenable than usual to having Joe do anything with his injured arm or hand), Hoss had worried about Adam, and he took every chance to visit him. And he had always been good at reading his brother\u2019s moods.<\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t gonna pry, Adam,\u201d he said quietly after sitting in total silence with Adam one afternoon. \u201cBut I\u2019d sure like to know what\u2019s troubling you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam gave him a lopsided smile. \u201cThere are very few things not<\/em> troubling me at the moment, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, why don\u2019t you reel off a few of yer bigger grievances? Maybe we can get them outta the way at least.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy biggest worry is Pa.\u201d Adam shook his head although that made him see double. \u201cHoss, he left me to run things while he was gone, and look at the hash I\u2019ve made of it. Joe nearly died; you nearly died; the south pasture and God knows how many trees burned to the ground, we\u2019ve lost or killed nearly a thousand cattle, the barn\u2019s half destroyed, a valuable horse is dead, I can\u2019t see straight\u2026if things go on at this rate, we\u2019re gonna dynamite the house on New Year\u2019s and that\u2019ll be all she wrote.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow you wait just a dadburned minute. Brother, do you mean to tell me you think it\u2019s your fault all this happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was in charge<\/em>. The responsibility was mine. That means the blame is mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you go blamin\u2019 yourself for the Noah\u2019s Ark flood, too? You caused the one as sure as the other. Adam, nobody knowed what was gonna happen and nobody coulda prevented it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe wanted us to go comb the woods for the squatters the day Lady chased that kid away. We should\u2019ve done it; if we had, maybe Joe never would\u2019ve gotten shot and you would never have had to give him your own blood.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose that\u2019s true, Adam.\u201d Hoss scratched his ear. \u201cBut if I recollect right, a sheriff and posse combin\u2019 the same woods when Joe got shot only turned up two of \u2019em. And we\u2019ve only got two of \u2019em in custody right now. The woods behind the south pasture are deep and thick and fulla places to hide. So even if we had gone lookin\u2019 there\u2019s a good chance we wouldn\u2019t\u2019a found nobody. And as for me, I do seem to recall it was my choice to give Little Joe my blood, and in fact I had to beat you<\/em> for the privilege.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that so?\u201d Little Joe demanded, walking in.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt sure \u2019nuff is,\u201d Hoss proclaimed. \u201cI had to give him a tap on that dainty jaw of his to get the message through \u2019cause he was determined to do it himself. Fortunately it\u2019s only the top<\/em> part of his head that\u2019s made outta granite.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, hey, you should\u2019ve asked me<\/em>,\u201d Joe said with a grin. \u201cI\u2019d rather have your blood any day, Hoss. Can you imagine if I got some of his<\/em>? I\u2019d be usin\u2019 words nobody understands and puttin\u2019 a ton of bear grease in my hair to hide my pretty curls.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNice to know my sacrifice would\u2019ve been appreciated,\u201d Adam grumbled. \u201cIf I had lost three pints of blood on your account, I\u2019d probably be as little and scrawny as you now, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe word you\u2019re lookin\u2019 for, Older Brother, is WIRY. Not scrawny\u2014WIRY.\u201d And all three ended the conversation with a grin.<\/p>\n

Just before dinner Tilly arrived, and Hop Sing took her upstairs. \u201cHeavens, Adam,\u201d she said on looking at him. \u201cI don\u2019t think you could look worse if you tried.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks a lot,\u201d he retorted. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFor starters, I never saw a face crying so loudly for a shave.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d A sheepish look. \u201cYeah, I\u2019m at the mercy of my brothers. Can\u2019t see well enough to do it myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I<\/em> see plenty well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd since when have you ever shaved a man?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve shaved lots of men. My father\u2019s late brother was a barber. Uncle Johann. He told me I should learn how because lady barbers could make a lot of money. Of course, Pa found out about it and gave Uncle Johann a black eye, but by then I was already an expert. Hop Sing, can you bring some hot water and a shaving kit?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing very happy to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did I tell you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry\u2014I<\/em> am very happy to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter, much better.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe arrived a few minutes later to tell Adam that supper was ready, but when they walked in Joe began to giggle, and however many times the red-faced Hoss smacked him with his hat, Joe would not be hushed. \u201cBoy,\u201d he finally gasped. \u201cI sure remember the last time I saw a lady givin\u2019 you a shave, Older Brother. The other one was\u2014quit it, Hoss!\u2014the other one was\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have told you again and again<\/em>, Joe, nothing happened!\u201d Adam shouted. \u201cOw! Blast!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I told you to be still!\u201d Tilly fussed.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet him outta here,\u201d Adam yelled, and Hoss bodily picked up Joe, slung him over a shoulder and carried him back downstairs with Joe laughing the whole time.<\/p>\n

Soon enough, though, the laughter was coming from another quarter. Joe and Hoss having been banned from Adam\u2019s room, Hop Sing took up a tray for Adam and Tilly. Joe and Hoss\u2014with Joe still giggling intermittently\u2014ate at the table downstairs.<\/p>\n

But before long, they found themselves looking up in puzzlement at the sound of nearly hysterical laughter coming from both the occupants of Adam\u2019s room.<\/p>\n

Joe jumped. \u201cThat can\u2019t<\/em> be Adam. I never heard him sound like that in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go see,\u201d Hoss resolved.<\/p>\n

A few minutes later, he returned with the dinner tray. For the first time in two days, Adam had apparently made a real stab at eating.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you find out what was going on?\u201d Joe called out while Hoss was still on the stairs.<\/p>\n

Hoss moved one shoulder in a helpless shrug. \u201cSomething about somebody that wanted to be a wolf.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s BEOWULF!\u201d Tilly bellowed after him, and Adam\u2019s convulsive laughter redoubled.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that mean?\u201d Hoss asked quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cMeans they\u2019re nuts, that\u2019s what it means,\u201d Joe said with a roll of his green eyes, and upstairs the laughter grew louder.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t say anything, but Joe and Hoss knew something had changed. They could see it when they looked at him. Tilly didn\u2019t know anything\u2014but something had changed. Lady saw and knew it all, but she would not have told, even if she could. And if she was jealous, she never let it show. Her heart was big enough to share.<\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss would always believe it was the Beowulf joke\u2014whatever that meant\u2014that pushed Adam over the edge. (\u201cWho else can<\/em> he marry?\u201d Joe asked Hoss on learning Adam\u2019s intentions. \u201cNobody but Tilly even speaks his language.\u201d)<\/p>\n

But the truth, and Adam had finally accepted it, was that he\u2019d been falling for quite a while, and fighting it most of the way. Adam had never been an easy mark when it came to love. Unlike Joe, who could fall in love in the barest moment if the girl had a pleasant face and a well-turned ankle, Adam had wanted more. A lot of women had found him attractive over time, and he had found a lot of attractive women very pleasant company\u2014for a time. But very few had touched him where it counted: Rebecca Kaufman, Regina Darien, and Ruth Halverson. (Little Joe called them the three R\u2019s of Adam\u2019s love education.) He hadn\u2019t really had time with Rebecca; on seeing Adam\u2019s interest, Rebecca\u2019s father (not one to hold with inter-faith marriage) had removed her. Regina had been a woman of possibility, but again the barrier of religion proved insurmountable. And worst of all had been Ruth, because his family never understood what had happened. It was easier to think she had been a feverish delusion than to find her and bring her back, and by the time Adam had recovered, it was too late to track her. He had tried it, and he had failed. And so Adam had kept company with a lot of women for a short time, but while there were plenty of women interested in him, he could find nothing of interest in them.<\/p>\n

Until Tilly. From their first conversation, she had kept him hopping. She had a sense of humor he found refreshing, after years of listening to polite laughter from witless beauties. In fact, her wicked wit occasionally crossed the bounds of propriety\u2014another wakeup call, but one he enjoyed without an ounce of guilt. The fact that she was as well read as he was gave him someone to really talk with, debate with, and laugh with; her musical talents made her perfect for an evening concert. She had a strength of character and determination that made her difficult, but then after all the women Adam had known who had been \u201ceasy\u201d in one way or another, \u201cdifficult\u201d was good. She had brought about a resurgence of interest in his job because of the passion she had for hers. It seemed that every day brought about some new discovery about her, and he liked everything he discovered.<\/p>\n

More and more of late, Adam found the house had taken on an empty feeling when Tilly wasn\u2019t in it. She finished his sentences; he finished hers. She made him feel all kinds of things\u2014in addition to the purely physical reaction she had always caused. But none of this was anything he could explain to his brothers, and he never would have tried anyway. He just agreed with them that he loved her because she made him laugh. There were plenty of worse reasons to love someone, after all. He just had to declare his feelings for her\u2026but there were other things that needed to happen first, so he resolved to wait until the time was right.<\/p>\n

Tilly came back the next evening as well, to find him with a headache and mighty frustrated at his bedridden state; there were so many reasons why he needed to be out of bed and back at work, he said. She, however, had no patience for any of that, and was worse than Doc Martin any day because she made threats way more horrible than anything Paul would have come up with.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut there are things I need to have done before my father gets home,\u201d Adam said urgently. \u201cAnd things I need to do in town. I\u2019ve gotten behind on the ledgers; I need to talk to the bank about our debt; I have to ride out and check the damage to the place and how much it\u2019ll cost to get everything fixed; and I have to buy some clothes, too, I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh.\u201d Tilly seemed to have realized something. \u201cI reckon you think you need a new black shirt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell I do get one every now and then\u2026\u201d he looked up at her, wishing his vision would clear so he could read her face. It was something he had gotten pretty good at doing, before.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t,\u201d she said softly. \u201cBeauty was a red horse, Adam. Get a red shirt\u2014a nice deep red shade like an angry sunset. That\u2019s the color you want.\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t reply; he just wondered what had brought that on, although, come to think of it, he did like a deep red color\u2026. \u201cAnd I need to finish my letter. Tilly, I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on, but Pa\u2019s gotten worried about the state of affairs out here. Unfortunately, he\u2019s right. Letting the ranch get burned down wasn\u2019t a particularly responsible act. But I\u2019d like to reassure him somehow. And there are other things\u2026I\u2026wanted to talk to you about\u2026\u201d He looked up at her and wished again that he could read her face right now, because even if he could have asked her right then, he had no idea how she would answer. She certainly never seemed to have that silly love-addled expression that so many women had. In fact, he realized he had no idea what\u2014if anything\u2014she felt for him. He couldn\u2019t see her clearly enough to make a guess now. And so he said nothing more.<\/p>\n

In the end she offered to help by finishing the writing of his letter. (She offered to handle the ledgers as well, but Adam was pretty sure his Pa would have a cow if someone he thought of as a stranger had gone into the Ponderosa\u2019s books.) He needed to get the letter finished and in the next day\u2019s mail; any later and he feared it would not arrive in Kansas before his father\u2019s departure.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll know something funny\u2019s going on if you write it,\u201d Adam argued.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, and he won\u2019t think anything at all if it\u2019s your handwriting all over the page like a squashed bug.\u201d<\/p>\n

At that he subsided, grumbling. He gave her the unfinished letter and began to dictate.<\/p>\n

You might as well know that I was recently injured too. In the fire I mentioned, Beauty broke his leg, throwing me, and I sustained some injuries\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMINOR injuries,\u201d Adam fussed. \u201cBe sure you write MINOR.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf they\u2019re bad enough that you can\u2019t write your own letter, don\u2019t you think he\u2019ll know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2014that have laid me up for a week or so. Happily I am recovering in hardy Cartwright fashion, although the handwriting has probably alerted you to difficulties in writing. But I want you to get this letter, Pa, because some of the changes we\u2019ve undergone here will affect you profoundly.<\/em><\/p>\n

This may well end up being the most important bit of information. We have taken in a stray dog. She turned up the week after you left, and Hoss named her Lady. No one has claimed her, so that makes her ours, although she seems to think she\u2019s mine. I have to tell you that she has been living in the house with us, and while you might not be overjoyed to hear that, believe me when I tell you she has more than earned<\/span> the privilege. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cUnderlined \u2018earned,\u2019 please, Tilly,\u201d Adam said. \u201cPa doesn\u2019t like dogs in houses, and he needs to understand that this is no ordinary dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

In fact, it is due to her that you still have the house, not to mention me (she saved my life last week) and Joe (she has rescued him from certain death twice, and the way he lives you can never know but what he may need her again soon).<\/em><\/p>\n

I also must reluctantly inform you that I withheld some information regarding Little Joe\u2019s broken collarbone. You may be angry that I did not wire you, but I knew you could not have left and even if you had, by the time you returned it would all have been over, for good or bad. The truth is that we nearly lost Joe. He was shot and his life was saved twice on that day, once by Hoss and once by Lady, the dog I mentioned. I\u2019ll let the full story wait until you return, as it is a little unusual, and let it suffice to say that Joe is back to his usual self: head in the clouds, arm in a sling, and his bottom will be as well if he doesn\u2019t quit raising so much Cain. Situation normal for Joe. As to his injury, as well as the subsequent fire, I take full responsibility for allowing these things to happen. The people who shot Joe are the same ones who tried to burn our place down. Two are in jail now and one is still at large, but we hope to find him before long.<\/em><\/p>\n

Pa, it\u2019s been an eventful few months, many parts of which I would not want to repeat. It makes me glad you\u2019re the one in charge here. I\u2019ve made my decisions, for the most part, as I thought you would, and the remaining decisions were made with the hope that you would approve of the outcome. I can tell you this\u2014the conversation we\u2019ll have on your return will not be boring. And I look forward greatly to that return, to sitting down and having one of our talks, or chess games.<\/em><\/p>\n

My friend Miss Hoffman the schoolteacher is writing this for me. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you get home I\u2019m sure you will meet her as she has become something of a family member\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you can\u2019t say that!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIsn\u2019t it true?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not. I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be silly. You\u2019re practically a Cartwright now. If any of the three of us had any blood to spare at the moment, we could conduct an Indian ceremony and make you a Cartwright blood brother, but unfortunately the only one of us with plenty of blood to spare right now is Hop Sing, and we haven\u2019t even had the ceremony for him yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly laughed, but left out that part, beginning instead at his next words, and blushing even then.<\/p>\n

When you get home I\u2019m sure you will meet her. She proved herself a valuable nurse when Joe and Hoss were under the weather and has even attempted to run the blockade caused by my own Yankee granite-headedness during my illness.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cUm\u2026I guess that\u2019s all, Tilly. If you\u2019d just give it back to me, and ask Little Joe for the address\u2026and send Hoss up, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you want to sign it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll do that while you\u2019re gone.\u201d He took the pen and as fast as he could, he began writing a postscript.<\/p>\n

PS\u2014Pa, I plan to get married. <\/em><\/p>\n

His vision blurred and the pen danced across the page as Hoss walked in. \u201cYou wanted me, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, can you write something for me? My eyes are going out on me again and I have to finish this letter.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ain\u2019t kiddin\u2019, brother. Your handwriting\u2019s all over the page. You sure I\u2019ll be able to do any better?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe not, but I want to finish this, so just write and don\u2019t ask questions. And swear not to say anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d Hoss looked at the last line of the letter and his blue eyes grew large and round. \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t say anything. JUST WRITE, Hoss!\u201d<\/p>\n

My intended is the girl who wrote most of this letter for me, the Virginia City schoolteacher, a young lady by the name of Mathilde Hoffman. We call her Tilly. The only reason I haven\u2019t yet asked the girl is that I want you to meet her first. I know I don\u2019t need your permission, but I do want your blessing, and I have no doubt that you\u2019ll provide that when you meet her. She is beautiful,<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t go that far,\u201d Hoss mumbled. \u201cPretty, I could go for.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou just don\u2019t know how to spell \u2018beautiful.\u2019 B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L, next word, intelligent\u2014\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cC\u2019n I say \u2018smart\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI-N-T-E-L-L-I-G-E-N-T. Now write.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2014spirited, musically inclined, and able to hold her own in most battles; virtuous, loyal to a fault (and as I mentioned before and you will appreciate, she showed herself a capable nurse during the various injuries with which we were forced to cope). You know that I have never given my affections lightly. My most fervent desire in a marriage\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you spell marriage?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cM-A-R-R-I-A-G-E. Write.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2014was always to find the kind of affection, partnership, and respect that I saw between you and Inger and later, you and Marie. It should not surprise you that you were always my example. Maybe that is why it took me so long to find someone. You were a high standard indeed, but I am certain my choice will be everything you hoped for me, <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll write the last part, Hoss. Thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

His hand shook and his sight blurred again as he wrote,<\/p>\n

and I only hope I am worthy of her, praying to God that she\u2019ll say yes when I ask.<\/em><\/p>\n

In all the things I look forward to when you come home, foremost is having you meet Tilly and Lady, as Hoss calls them the two women in my life. I hope you\u2019ll come to love them both as I do. They have saved me in so many ways.<\/em><\/p>\n

Your devoted son,<\/em><\/p>\n

Adam<\/em><\/p>\n

As Adam painfully signed the postscript, Tilly returned with an addressed envelope. Adam looked almost pleadingly at Hoss, who couldn\u2019t stop grinning at Tilly.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Tilly,\u201d Hoss said, ignoring the strangled sound from Adam, \u201ccan I ask you one question?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Hoss.\u201d She handed him the envelope.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s your favorite color?\u201d He crossed his fingers, thinking not-blue-not-blue-not-blue-please-not-blue\u2026<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cGreen. Why?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPraise the Lord,\u201d he sighed.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

The telegram Adam had sent to his father was received two days later but the effect was not what Adam would have hoped. Ben\u2019s eyebrows drew together in a hopelessly puzzled frown\u2026and then his jaw set in grim determination to find out what in blazes was going on under his roof.<\/p>\n

The letter, however, met a different fate. It went into town the night of the 21st<\/sup> and was in the mail stage the following morning.<\/p>\n

Christmas came and went\u2014a bit of a subdued Christmas at the Cartwrights\u2019 in spite of Tilly\u2019s being there to help with the celebration. She wondered why Hoss kept looking at her and grinning, but she didn\u2019t ask. And when Adam\u2014whose left wrist, now tightly wrapped and unable to make chords on his guitar\u2014had to pass on playing, Tilly got his guitar and began to play it herself. She was, Adam was delighted to learn, almost as good on it as he was. After she left he decided he was going to have to learn piano since, as he told Hoss, he wasn\u2019t going to marry someone who was more<\/em> musically inclined than he was.<\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright concluded his testimony on Christmas Eve and checked out of his hotel, leaving over the Army\u2019s objections. \u201cI\u2019m a civilian who gave four months of his life to come here at my own expense for this trial,\u201d he told the general. \u201cYou now have what you needed from me. I will not be recalled; I am needed at home.\u201d He spent a depressing Christmas at a swing station 40 miles from Fort Leavenworth, and was underway again in the morning. And so on December 28th<\/sup>, the day he should have checked out of the hotel, and the day Adam\u2019s committee-written letter arrived, Ben was on a train and well into his journey home. Faithful Domino, turning the letter over and over in his hands, finally decided to pay his own money to return the letter to the Ponderosa. It might be important, after all.<\/p>\n

The letter began its way home on the 29th<\/sup>, but with the five-day difference, the holiday, and the snow in the Rockies, it did not reach the Ponderosa before his arrival.<\/p>\n

Chapter 12<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tilly didn\u2019t come out the week between Christmas and New Year. She was using her five-day holiday to grade assignments and plan for the new term. Her absence, however, was made up to some extent by two other events.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe rounded up the green colts from the western pasture near the lake, and Lady helped them cut a muscular chestnut gelding from the herd and bring him back to the corral. Then they brought Adam down to see. He was still a little shaky, and walking more than a few feet at a time cut into his back and leg. Still, his head injury had receded to no more than an occasional headache, so he ventured outside with his brothers.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe call him Sport,\u201d Hoss announced. \u201cUm\u2026we call him that because\u2026well, he\u2019s just a good sport, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCodswollop!\u201d Joe laughed. \u201cWe call him that because he spends all his time chasing the fillies.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss changed the subject quickly. \u201cHe\u2019s another one of Corsair\u2019s sons. Three years old.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnother half-brother to Beauty,\u201d Joe said with a grin. \u201cBut you can see that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam could. The two were very similar; the newcomer was perhaps a little bigger-boned and had another white sock, but Hoss had pronounced the horse\u2019s hooves to be sound, and that was good enough for Adam. He looked long and hard at the gelding, its head and tail lifted high and proud as it trotted back and forth in the corral, and Adam swallowed hard and pushed his emotions back into their proper place.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a looker, all right, but how\u2019s his performance?\u201d he asked with the proper skepticism.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s up to the rider,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cYou oughtta know that by now, Older Brother. You got more willing cooperation out of Beauty the last few weeks of his life than you ever did the first few years.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I can tell you this,\u201d Joe put in. \u201cI green-broke him. He\u2019s good\u2014powerful, fast, turns on a dime\u2014I even thought of keeping him for myself. Only thing is, he\u2019s got the same temperament as Beauty. He\u2019s got his pride, and he wants to feel like he\u2019s doing you a favor letting you ride him. He wants a friend, not a master.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d Adam said softly, \u201cI reckon he\u2019ll do. I\u2019m short of friends these days, anyway. Does he\u2026does he have any interesting mannerisms I should know about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFunny you should ask,\u201d Hoss chuckled. \u201cHe\u2019s about as bad a head-tosser as I ever saw. Bad as Beauty any day.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled, and wondered if his concussion was back; the horse seemed a bit blurry all of a sudden. \u201cHe\u2019ll do,\u201d he said again, and leaned on the corral post as both his brothers clapped him on the back.<\/p>\n

Two afternoons later the second event occurred when Adam, taking another stab at updating the ledgers, opened the safe behind his father\u2019s desk and saw an unfamiliar metal box gleaming dully in the pale winter sun. A large crusted splash of dried blood covered one corner of the box\u2014and on the lid, in small raised letters, it read \u201cProperty Central Pacific Railroad.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a minute, he just stared blankly at the box, and then called Hoss and Little Joe in a voice that left no doubt of his seriousness. Both left their other pursuits and trotted in to find their brother delicately holding the small metal box with his fingertips, as if he feared breaking it.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere did this come from?\u201d he demanded in quiet, near-deadly tones.<\/p>\n

\u201cSouth pasture,\u201d Little Joe replied. \u201cTilly and me found it when we found you. She thought you mighta\u2019 hit your head on it on account of the blood and the tracks we saw.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe ain\u2019t opened it,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cWell; nobody has, you can see by the lock. Tilly gave it to Hop Sing and he gave it to Joe. Joe put it in the safe, and there it\u2019s been.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d Adam thought for a minute. \u201cGet Roy out here, and see if he can bring whoever\u2019s in charge of the Virginia City Pinks along with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

He sat down and, his eyes on the box, began thinking. And so he was still doing more than two hours later when Roy arrived with the Pinkerton. Lady, curled around Adam\u2019s feet, barked once before recognizing Roy. But the other fellow, from her growls, was clearly not welcome. Well<\/em>, Adam thought, I never liked Pinkertons either<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam Cartwright, this here\u2019s Jasper Musgrave, from San Fran\u2014\u201d Musgrave waved off the introduction as soon as he saw the box and made a grab for it, demanding, \u201cWhere did you get this?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sat still, looking at the man. \u201cThis is the box that went missing after the train crash, then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt most certainly is.\u201d Musgrave looked him over suspiciously. \u201cAnd I\u2019d really like to know how it came to be in your possession, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have a feeling it\u2019s been on the Ponderosa for a few months now,\u201d Adam said. \u201cEver since Orlow and Dex Bender and Cassius Biggs took it out of the wreckage of that train.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes you think it was them?\u201d Roy demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was in the south pasture, surrounded by metal traps,\u201d Adam said. \u201cMy father hired Orlow Bender and Cassius Biggs the week before he left for Kansas. Just a couple of drifting cowboys, or so we thought. But right after they got here I found steel traps in the south pasture. A while later I chased off that boy, Dex Bender, in the same area. I think when they took it from the train they knew there would be an investigation, so they couldn\u2019t just start spending the money. I assume the bills are marked, Mr. Musgrave?\u201d<\/p>\n

A curt nod.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey had to hide it for a while,\u201d Adam continued. \u201cAnd they had to make a living while they waited for things to die down. So they kept that kid Dex in the vicinity to watch, and they volunteered to ride fence in that area, just to make sure nobody was noticing. I imagine it was buried somewhere around there. Only things didn\u2019t<\/em> die down\u2014just as soon as Orlow and Cassius quit their jobs and made preparations to leave, a bunch of Pinkertons showed up.\u201d He grinned at Musgrave, who scowled back. \u201cAnd you Pinkertons stayed. Finally I think they got tired of waiting. They thought if they created a big enough diversion, like wildfire, everyone would be too busy to notice them trotting away with the box. Only the plan backfired, since nobody in Virginia City cared if the Ponderosa burned to the ground, and since the Pinkertons couldn\u2019t be bothered. The fire got out of control too fast for Bender and Biggs, and Lady went after them\u2026so they dropped the box and ran.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled his most friendly smile to Mr. Musgrave. \u201cThink I\u2019m on the right track?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot really, but go ahead if it amuses you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt does.\u201d Adam turned to Roy. \u201cYou might want to wire the sheriffs where the money was originally put on the train\u2026maybe even check with the railroad itself, and see if anyone matching the descriptions of Bender and Biggs ever worked there. Don\u2019t bother using their names, though; I don\u2019t think they\u2019re real.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d Roy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cBiggs, Bender. Say that five times fast.\u201d Adam grinned at Musgrave. \u201cAm I getting closer?\u201d<\/p>\n

Musgrave didn\u2019t reply, but Roy, having said \u201cBiggs Bender\u201d the requisite five times, grinned broadly.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne last thing,\u201d Adam said. \u201cI\u2019d like the railroad to pay for damages to the Ponderosa. I think $30,000 ought to cover it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMister, you\u2019re out of your gourd. Those guys only stole $25,000 to start with,\u201d Musgrave said.<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cI never heard of a whole wagonload of Pinkertons getting called in on anything less than a hundred thousand dollars, Musgrave. So when I remembered that, I started looking at your box.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t find a thing. It\u2019s still locked,\u201d Musgrave said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not familiar with the Ponderosa, Mr. Musgrave,\u201d Adam replied gently. \u201cA big-city fellow like you, I suppose you think the Cartwrights are just your average country boys. That\u2019s how most city fellas regard us. And so we are, except for one thing. Unlike the railroad, while we also employ all kinds of people here, we regard them all the same. In fact, one of the fellows who works for us is a Chinese man whom we regard as a part of the Cartwright family\u2026\u201d He broke off as Hop Sing entered the room to stand beside him. \u201cHop Sing, I hope your ancestors are not offended.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Mister Adam,\u201d Hop Sing said with a smile. \u201cMy ancestors understand that they are family of my old home, and you, like my cousins, are family in my new home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad to hear it. By the way, your English has improved. So has your pronunciation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Mister Adam. Miss Tilly is teaching me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does that have to do with anything?\u201d Roy bellowed\u2014but Musgrave was pale.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Chinese have a real affinity for puzzles,\u201d Adam explained, and extricated the box from Musgrave\u2019s suddenly-boneless hand. He gave it to Hop Sing, who moved his fingers a couple of times, and suddenly a thin shelf slid out of the box. On it rested two large yellow certificates.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere are the other two?\u201d Musgrave yelped.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, my, were there two more?\u201d Adam replied with a smirk. \u201cSearch me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I wish you luck. Bearer bonds\u2014as I understand it, Roy\u2014have been around for a while, but it wasn\u2019t until the war that everyone started using them. And that\u2019s because everyone can<\/em> use them; or to be more accurate, anyone<\/em> can use them. It\u2019s a great way to anonymously carry a large sum of money in a single piece of paper. Each of these bonds is the equivalent of $100,000. So, for $400,000, three men derailed a train, burned down a large part of our ranch, destroyed a large portion of our cattle herd, devastated a forest that will take years to replace, and damn near killed my two brothers and me. We found the box while we were trying to save our land\u2014this land that the Pinkertons couldn\u2019t be troubled with when it was ablaze.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd now, I\u2019m returning your box to you, and the only thing I\u2019m asking for is recompense for the physical hardship that we\u2019ll be put to in order to replenish the land and cattle. I\u2019m not asking anything for the lives of my brothers, because if they had died on account of your little box, there aren\u2019t enough bearer bonds in print to replace them. And I\u2019m not asking for anything for myself, because I don\u2019t care about the money. All I want is to be able to tell my father that his hard-won ranch is not in danger of financial collapse. So there you have it, Musgrave. I think the railroad can spare $30,000. But if it can\u2019t, the board member you\u2019re working for who decided to transport his money in this box, well, he seems to be out $200,000.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeems? What do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean, I never said there were two other bonds. So if there are, I can\u2019t vouch for their safety. There might even be another fire, leaving those two certificates mere piles of ashes. Now of course I\u2019d never see a cent of them, but it doesn\u2019t matter to me. What matters to me is the safety of my family and my father\u2019s financial solvency.\u201d Adam dropped the box back onto the desk, where it landed with a bang, scratching the varnish. \u201cYour choice, Mr. Musgrave.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s extortion.\u201d Musgrave took a step toward Adam. Lady\u2019s low growl made him back up again.<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy, is it extortion to expect the railroad to reimburse property damages, especially when the railroad\u2019s property being here is what caused all the property damages?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUm\u2026Nope. It\u2019s not extortion to expect the railroad to reimburse property damages, not as far as I know, Adam.\u201d Roy had a peculiar grin of his own. \u201cAn\u2019 I never heard you sayin\u2019 you had the other bonds, or even that you knew about \u2019em before.\u201d He\u2019d never liked Pinkertons either.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere.\u201d Adam turned back to Musgrave with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou small-town cowboys are always in collusion,\u201d Musgrave muttered. \u201cI will communicate with the railroad and let you know their decision.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t take too long. And don\u2019t get notions of arresting me. After all, you wouldn\u2019t want anybody else to know about these boxes, would you? Make a nice little carrying system, don\u2019t they? Have a nice trip back to town.\u201d<\/p>\n

Musgrave\u2019s look would have rotted cheese. He seemed to be wondering what exactly to do, when a sudden movement made him look down. Lady was ardently licking her behind. Adam glanced down as well. \u201cMy thoughts exactly, old girl.\u201d Musgrave spun on his heel and walked out.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

On New Year\u2019s Eve, the three Cartwright boys piled into a wagon, since Adam was not yet able to ride, and with five armed ranch hands flanking them, they drove into Virginia City. There they handed the box\u2014complete with its four pieces of paper\u2014over to Jasper Musgrave and received a bank draft for $30,000. Musgrave and his troop of Pinkertons took the box without a word and made their way out of Virginia City.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m a lot gladder to see their backs than their fronts,\u201d Roy declared, watching them ride away. \u201cAdam, don\u2019t make a habit of pullin\u2019 stunts like that\u2014but between you and me and the kitchen cabinets, they don\u2019t call you the smart one of the family for nothin\u2019. What you asked for never even occurred to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt occurred to me,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cBut I don\u2019t know as I would\u2019ve had the nerve to do the askin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would\u2019ve had the nerve,\u201d Joe added. \u201cBut I didn\u2019t have any bargaining power. How in heck did you figure out the trap door in the box, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cHop Sing found it. I just thought it might be there. I couldn\u2019t get past the notion that Pinkertons never come in on small cases\u2014and there were a couple of small Chinese symbols scratched into the bottom of the box. So I was certain there was something else there\u2026but if I unlocked it, they could\u2019ve arrested me. On the other hand, nobody is supposed to know about these trick Chinese boxes, so I thought I would probably be safe if I could just figure out how to open it. Fortunately we had Hop Sing, and he did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that\u2019s why Adam\u2019s the bull of the woods,\u201d Hoss chuckled. \u201cHey Adam, wanna come over to the saloon and moo with us?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo; you go ahead. I\u2019m going to deposit this draft before Musgrave changes his mind, and then I think I\u2019ll walk over and see if Tilly\u2019s still planning to come over for New Year\u2019s dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked at the clueless Joe and back at Adam with an eager expression. \u201cHey, are you gonna\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m not!\u201d Adam gave both his brothers an iceberg-melting scowl. \u201cI\u2019ll meet you in an hour, all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMoo,\u201d Joe and Hoss replied meekly, and as they walked away, Joe said \u201cwhat was all that about?\u201d Roy and the five ranch hands accompanied them over to the Sazarac for celebratory beers; Adam, leaning on his father\u2019s cane, watched them go and then hobbled to the bank. He met Cyrus there and handed the draft to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard about this,\u201d Cyrus chuckled. \u201cI hate the Pinkertons too, so you should\u2019ve seen me laughing when Roy told me the story. In the Ponderosa account?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Adam said after a little thought. \u201cPut it in my savings account. That one\u2019s interest-bearing. The money\u2019s presence there can serve as collateral if we need a loan anytime soon, and since I\u2019ll leave it there for six months, when I transfer it to my father there\u2019ll be another few hundred dollars to go with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s true. Hadn\u2019t thought of that. Adam, anyone ever tell you that you should work at a bank?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d settle for being able to persuade my father to open an interest-bearing account.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll never do it as long as the bank has a minimum deposit time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Adam sighed. He shook his head and left to pay a visit to Mrs. O\u2019Reilly\u2019s boarding house.<\/p>\n

\u201cHappy holidays, Mrs. O\u2019Reilly. May I speak to Miss Hoffman?\u201d<\/p>\n

The landlady looked down her disapproving nose at him, \u201cShe hasn\u2019t been down in two days.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow would I know? She won\u2019t talk to me. She hasn\u2019t said a word since she came back from the telegraph office day before yesterday. Made plenty of noise, though, I can tell you. If she hadn\u2019t already paid me next month\u2019s rent and if I could only afford to refund it, I\u2019d have her out on the street.\u201d<\/p>\n

Something was<\/em> wrong. \u201cMrs. O\u2019Reilly, please escort me upstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n

The alarm in his voice had no effect on her. \u201cOh no. What you do with her out at your big fancy ranch is one thing, but I\u2019ve already lost most of my boarders through malicious\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGossip?\u201d Adam turned frigid eyes on her. \u201cYou\u2019d know all about malicious gossip, wouldn\u2019t you? You\u2019ve been tying Miss Hoffman into all sorts of evil since she\u2019s been here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was concerned about the poor girl\u2019s reputation!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re the one dragging her reputation through the mud, Mrs. O\u2019Reilly. Tilly\u2019s conduct has been above reproach. Take me upstairs now or I\u2019ll go up alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen I\u2019ll call the sheriff!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked at her for a bare moment longer. Then he leaned close to her. \u201cMrs. O\u2019Reilly, how much of the gossip about me do you believe? Do you believe I told Sam Bryant to do what he liked with my father since I never liked him anyway? Do you believe I shot Sue Ellen Terry in cold blood\u2014and then had the sheriff set up to take the blame? If all that is true, how smart is it to get me riled? I\u2019m going to give you \u2019til I count to three to give me her room number, and then I start breaking things.\u201d He pointed his cane at a nearby picture.<\/p>\n

\u201cRoom six! I\u2019m getting the sheriff!\u201d<\/p>\n

He turned and painfully climbed the stairs, hanging onto the rail and cursing his leg.<\/p>\n

Knocking on the door, he called in a low and urgent voice, \u201cTilly, it\u2019s Adam. Will you let me in?\u201d<\/p>\n

There was no response.<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, I know something\u2019s wrong. Please answer.\u201d<\/p>\n

No response.<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, in another minute I\u2019m going to start breaking your door down. And you know I\u2019m not in the best of health, so you really don\u2019t want me trying that, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n

A dragging step on the other side of the door told him she was coming. Finally he heard the lock turn, and the door opened a tiny crack. \u201cAdam, I don\u2019t want to see anyone today. I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

But it was too late; he had seen, just from that slit in the door, the room beyond, and more importantly, the condition of that room. He pushed the door open.<\/p>\n

The room looked as if someone had set off a stick of dynamite. Books were scattered on the floor, sheets of paper thrown everywhere. The dresser had been turned over and was lying at an angle, its partially-opened drawers holding it up.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho did this?\u201d he asked dangerously\u2014and then, for the first time he looked at her. And with the sight of her, the answer was not surprising.<\/p>\n

\u201cI did,\u201d she replied quietly, and turned away from him to sit down on her bed, since both chairs had been broken. The clothes she wore had been on her a while\u2026probably this was the third day, he realized, and she had torn the lapels off her suit jacket. Her hair, usually pinned in some fashion, had never been taken down, but it hung out of its arrangement in large frizzy chunks. Her eyes and nose were swollen and red, her knuckles were blood-stained and her hands were bruised.<\/p>\n

He swallowed. \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAppomattox,\u201d she muttered.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was three years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026I just found out.\u201d She laughed, and any other time he would have joined in, but then the laughter turned into sobs, and she buried her head in a pillow.<\/p>\n

For a minute he just stood there, at a loss for what to do. They weren\u2019t engaged; he wasn\u2019t even supposed to be in the room, and if the O\u2019Reilly witch made good her threat then Roy\u2014probably accompanied by Hoss and Joe\u2014would be there any minute. Then he realized it didn\u2019t matter much, and he sat down beside her, pulled her into his chest, and held her while she cried.<\/p>\n

And that was how they were when Roy, Hoss and Joe galloped up the stairs.<\/p>\n

For a few moments it seemed as if no one knew what to do. Well, not \u201cno one\u201d\u2014Tilly didn\u2019t even know the others were there. But Roy was looking around the room in embarrassment. Hoss and Joe milled about in the doorway, looking for a minute as if they would come in, but Adam shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026\u201d Roy cleared his throat.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn a minute, Roy,\u201d Adam said. \u201cPlease. I\u2019ll come along quietly\u2026in a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy did the only thing he could do: he shut the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, tell me what\u2019s wrong,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

The whisper was so quiet he almost didn\u2019t hear it. \u201cMy father\u2019s dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019d forgotten she had a father. What had she said\u2026\u201che lost his business and he lost his mind.\u201d Back then he had wondered what she meant; he had an unwelcome feeling that now he was going to find out.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m two thousand miles away\u2026there won\u2019t be a funeral. There won\u2019t even be a grave. There\u2019s no money for a burial, so he\u2019ll be in the pauper cemetery\u2026I shouldn\u2019t have left him. I didn\u2019t want to\u2026but I couldn\u2019t stay. So he died alone and surrounded by strangers. And all they knew about him was that he was crazy. \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m so sorry, Tilly\u2026\u201d He always hated condolences, knowing from experience that they were worthless.<\/p>\n

Outside he heard O\u2019Reilly, loudly insisting upon his arrest. He happened to look down and see the telegram from the Randolph Home for the Insane, and the seeds of a plan hit him.<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly\u2026I kind of raised a ruckus to get in and see you,\u201d he said. \u201cI don\u2019t think I can stay any\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam.\u201d Roy pushed the door open. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I\u2019m afraid you\u2019re going to have to come with me now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot just him!\u201d O\u2019Reilly screamed. \u201cMy complaint is on them both! Look at that room! I\u2019ll be lucky if I can ever rent it out again!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll be lucky if you ever rent any<\/em> room out again,\u201d Adam replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe threatened me, Sheriff! He threatened my life!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Mrs. O\u2019Reilly. I\u2019ve threatened your business. The Ponderosa used to refer a lot of customers your way. Now just think what will happen when we refer them away from you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you hear that, Sheriff?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, let\u2019s go. Miss Tilly, if you don\u2019t mind, I have to ask you to accompany me as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly stood up and stumbled to the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll need a coat, Tilly,\u201d Adam said, looking around. Seeing nothing serviceable, he sighed and put his own yellow barn coat around her shoulders. Not noticing, she continued downstairs, with O\u2019Reilly following and berating her the whole way.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll have you out in a jiffy, Adam,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cFirst, I want you and Hoss to clean this room up as best you can. Pack Tilly\u2019s things\u2014even the stuff that doesn\u2019t look salvageable\u2014and put it in the wagon. If the Widow Hawkins can\u2019t take her, then take everything out to the Ponderosa. Then, Joe, I want you to go down to the mercantile\u2014I don\u2019t care if it\u2019s New Year\u2019s Eve\u2014and get them to send someone over to estimate the damages on this furniture. I\u2019ll cover the repair and replacement costs, but I want an objective opinion. Roy, do you approve?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that\u2019s a fine idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd Hoss, you stay here. The room stays occupied until the estimate\u2019s done. Understand?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure do, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, after everything\u2019s taken of here, then go see Hiram and see if he can take our case. Roy, any notion how much bail will be?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI gotta look in my book, Adam, sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine; you two will know where to find Tilly and me. And by the way, I want you to stop and tell everyone you meet that the O\u2019Reilly place kicked out a girl for the crime of being distraught over her father\u2019s death.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe exchanged a look.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne more thing\u2026\u201d Adam handed Joe the telegram. \u201cWire this place and tell them we\u2019ll pay for a grave and a tombstone. See if they can find out where Mrs. Hoffman is buried and put him next to her. Ask them for a bill\u2026and a photograph for Tilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Adam and Roy descended the stairs, Little Joe looked around the room. \u201cTo think I wondered once if she even knew how to cry,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Roy devoutly refused to put them in the same cell (\u201c\u2019twouldn\u2019t be proper\u201d), and with a thick wall between them, it would have been silly to have a conversation. Not that Tilly was in the mood for one. She periodically lapsed into crying again, and Adam wondered if that was how she had spent the last two and a half days.<\/p>\n

About two hours later, Hoss and Little Joe came to the jail with Hiram Wood in tow. Bail was set and paid; Adam and Tilly had to agree not to leave the area before the arrival of the circuit judge or until the charges were dropped; and they were released. Strangely, or perhaps not so strangely, a lot of people happened to be passing by when they came through the doors\u2026and more than one person was heard to say, \u201cI don\u2019t know that I want a jailbird teaching my child.\u201d<\/p>\n

Widow Hawkins was more than willing to take Tilly as a boarder, but \u201cI don\u2019t \u2019ave a single room open until the fifth, Ducky. Can you put \u2019er someplace else until then?\u201d The International House was full of holiday guests; thus Tilly, who couldn\u2019t have cared less if she stayed in a hotel or a pig trough, accompanied the Cartwrights back to the Ponderosa where she was ensconced in the downstairs guest room.<\/p>\n

New Year\u2019s Day was quiet; Tilly kept to her room and hardly came out. The day after, though, one of the hands went into Virginia City and came back with a wire for her, from one Blake Weston in Reno. Adam remembered that Tilly\u2019s middle name was Weston, and that she had an uncle; he put two and two together eventually but it still really seemed to equal three. She\u2019d been at their house every weekend, even accepted their invitation to Christmas without a qualm, never mentioning that she had other family within sixty miles. Then he remembered what she had said the day they talked about their respective curses. \u201cHere I am in the middle of the desert, my only relative in the world is an uncle I despise, and yet I\u2019m here.\u201d<\/em> But even that didn\u2019t make sense, since he wasn\u2019t her only relative; her father had still been living then. Of course\u2026Randolph Home for the Insane<\/em>. He felt a little queasy just remembering the name, and wondered if that was why she hadn\u2019t counted her father as being alive.<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly,\u201d he called almost shyly, knocking on the door. \u201cCan we talk for a minute?\u201d<\/p>\n

The door opened. Well, at least she\u2019d cleaned herself up and taken a shot at fixing her hair. She squared her shoulders and looked him in the eye. \u201cI guess it\u2019s about time I started acting human again, is that what you\u2019re going to say?\u201d<\/p>\n

He shook his head. \u201cWhen Marie died everyone in this house\u2014and I mean everyone<\/em>\u2014went to pieces. It lasted for weeks. Don\u2019t apologize for grieving for your father.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sad,\u201d she said, walking out to the living room and sitting down by the fire. He followed and sat down on the coffee table.<\/p>\n

\u201cI lost my father a long time ago, Adam. And I\u2019ve lost him again every day since then. That telegram was only the last of many times.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, I\u2019m having a hard time following you\u2014but you don\u2019t have to talk about anything you don\u2019t want to. I mainly just came to tell you that you have a new telegram\u2014and I think it\u2019s from your uncle.\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded, looking into the flames. \u201cNo death is ever complete without a few vultures. Adam, will you think less of me if I tell you some things about my family?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not.\u201d He laughed softly. \u201cRemember we\u2019re<\/em> the ones who thought a tavern song was a lullaby.\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded again. \u201cMy Uncle Blake is Mother\u2019s baby brother. She adored him. Mother was a wonderful woman, Adam, and I\u2019ll never think a bad thought about her, but she just wasn\u2019t capable of seeing the people she loved as they really were. Blake is a liar, a cheat, and much worse. In the early \u201950s he was financing slave transports, but he wasn\u2019t much good with money so he lost his shirt. Pa had a little import-export business in Savannah. Mother talked Pa into taking Blake as a partner. The profits started declining, largely due to Blake. But then the war began, and Blake got in with the blockade runners. Suddenly business was booming\u2014but Blake was stealing the profits so even then Pa was losing money. And then General Sherman showed up and started burning a path across the state directly to Pa\u2019s front door. Blake took off for Lake\u2019s Crossing, Nevada\u2014with most of the money. And when Sherman got to Savannah, the first businesses to be torched, the first houses to be razed, the first families to be thrown into jail, were the ones who had consorted with blockade runners.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, are you sure all this was your uncle\u2019s fault?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes. Even mother\u2019s letters would say things like \u2018I am so proud of my little brother; he has contacts in the shipping industry that your father never knew about, and he\u2019s making a great impact on the business.\u2019 Then my father\u2019s letter would say \u2018young Blake has fallen in with a rough crowd who dare take on the shipping blockade. I hate all of those hooligans, but the operation is his to run, and what can I do save fire him and break your mother\u2019s heart?\u2019 Do you remember, Adam, when we talked about how much our parents dress up distasteful events for their children\u2019s sakes?\u201d<\/p>\n

He nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s more,\u201d she went on, with venom in her voice. \u201cThere\u2019s way too much more to tell to nice people in their own home. But that man caused most of the tragedies in my family\u2019s life. He even talked my little brother Geoff into fighting for the glory of the Cause at age 15. Well, that ended pretty ingloriously at Gettysburg\u2026he\u2019s in some mass graveyard\u2026but I\u2019m rambling again. That telegram, that\u2019s why I\u2019m here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s why I called you out here, yes,\u201d Adam said, puzzled.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo; I mean why I\u2019m here in Virginia City. Mother\u2019s last letter\u2026was so beautiful, so full of poetry and all the things we loved\u2026but the ending was strange. She told me not to come back to Savannah. She was sure she\u2019d be dead within a couple of months. She was worried about Pa, though\u2014he had taken to acting strangely. She put it nicely\u2026but he just wasn\u2019t himself, she said, and she thought that when she was gone he would be better cared for by professionals than by a spinster daughter.\u201d She clasped and unclasped her hands. \u201cHow much can a man lose before he goes over the edge? He lost his sons, his business, his home; he was losing his wife. The only thing he had left was me, and I was three thousand miles away.<\/p>\n

\u201cBy the time I was ready to sail from Spain, mother was dead. And when I got to Savannah, Pa was in the Randolph place already\u2014a hellhole\u2014and except for a couple of times, he never recognized me, much less let me take care of him. I couldn\u2019t get him out.<\/p>\n

\u201cI look a little like Mother in the face, even though I have black hair, and he thought I was Mother\u2019s ghost. The last few times I tried to sit with him he attacked me, and one day when he went for me the attendants\u2014vicious beasts\u2014beat him half to death. I thought \u2018I can\u2019t take this another day\u2026seeing him but him not knowing me\u2014and causing him pain by those awful caretakers as well\u2019 and I left. I had paid for a ticket to Reno\u2026and I just started riding west. Only\u2026well, on a stagecoach you end up doing a lot of thinking, and chief among my thoughts was the overriding notion that I had left my own father with people who beat him and I was on my way to live in Reno with my uncle, a man I would just as gladly see dead and buried.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, you don\u2019t mean that\u2026family is all we have in the end. Maybe he\u2019s changed. And you weren\u2019t there, you don\u2019t know everything\u2026maybe hearing it from his perspective would help. He\u2019s stayed in touch with you\u2014that must mean he has some feeling for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

At that she looked at him, round-eyed, and her face went fishbelly white. \u201cYou really don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about, Adam,\u201d she finally said in a low voice. \u201cBut I expect you\u2019ll learn soon enough. I imagine that telegram is to arrange a meeting. He was keeping something for me, and I never had the nerve to go and get it before. Well, I won\u2019t be in the same room with him alone. So either you\u2019ll come with me or I\u2019ll need to borrow one of your shotguns.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want to kill him?\u201d Adam found himself grinning involuntarily. \u201cTilly, this is not like you. Even if he\u2019s as bad as you say, nothing you\u2019ve just told me justifies killing him. And you\u2019re not like that. I\u2019d like to think I\u2019ve gotten to know you pretty well these last four months. You\u2019re\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t say I want<\/em> to kill him. But\u2026well. You know, I got off the stage in Virginia City just to stretch my legs. I really was going to go to Reno, at least to talk to the man, to confront him about a few of the things I wanted him to account for. But when I stopped here, I heard about the teaching job, and thought, well, I don\u2019t want to be that close to Blake Weston anyway. So I stayed here and wrote a letter of application\u2026and Lord bless you for getting me hired, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got yourself hired,\u201d he said. \u201cEven the fellows who didn\u2019t like you thought you were the one for the job.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs you say,\u201d she replied with a shrug. \u201cWe know the real story.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s true, Tilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI had really come to like it here, Adam. I never had much need for what Blake had for me anyway, and it was easier to pretend he didn\u2019t exist\u2026and easier to pretend my father was already gone than living in that hell I left him in. Only now Pa\u2019s dead, and it\u2019s all real, and I should have stayed with him. He deserved better than to have such a coward for a daughter. And he went to his death wondering why he was alone\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, his death wasn\u2019t your fault, and your being there wouldn\u2019t have changed anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe wouldn\u2019t have been alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe would,\u201d Adam replied, forcing his voice to stay steady. \u201cIf he didn\u2019t even know who you were, and thought you were there to do him harm, he\u2019d have been even lonelier and more scared. Your being there would have been worse than not being there for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt would have meant something to me, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot if you watched him shrinking back in terror from you.\u201d<\/p>\n

She swallowed. \u201cHe was my father. I loved him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen leaving him was the kindest thing you could\u2019ve done.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked up at him, smiled and shook her head. \u201cI think if you ever leave the Ponderosa, you could make a fine living practicing law. Anyway\u2026now I\u2019m going to have to see Blake Weston again. I don\u2019t much like the thought of him coming here\u2026seems like it\u2019ll desecrate the town somehow, like herding swine into a temple. But I\u2019ll meet him\u2014if you\u2019ll be with me\u2014and I\u2019ll get what he\u2019s coming to give me, and it\u2019ll be over.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, I\u2019ll be honored to attend you when your uncle visits,\u201d Adam said, leaning over to take her hand in what he thought was purely innocent camaraderie, but she jerked away and cringed, and in some awful way it reminded him of the day he had first found Lady.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry,\u201d she whispered. \u201cYou just took me by surprise. I\u2019m a little jumpy right now. Thinking about him gets me that way. I\u2019ll be glad when I don\u2019t have to think of him anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

He cast around for something to say, and found nothing, so while she read the telegram, he got his guitar. He still had his hand wrapped, but at least she would be able to play, and he was pretty sure that would make them both feel better.<\/p>\n

She smiled when she saw it. \u201cDoc, you always have the cure. And it looks like we\u2019ll have to get the disease<\/em> tomorrow after church.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chapter 13<\/strong><\/p>\n

If the reception the Cartwright boys and Tilly received in church that morning was a little cool, they didn\u2019t notice. And when Tilly, in a somber black mourning dress, requested prayer for the loss of her beloved father and an unspecified \u201ctrial\u201d she expected to soon endure, she aroused a little sympathy and more curiosity.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, there are two things I need to tell you before we meet him,\u201d Tilly said as they crunched through the snow and down to the International House after the service. \u201cI was named for my mother, and she was also nicknamed Tilly, so I was called \u2018Little Tilly\u2019. But when I was small, I couldn\u2019t say it properly. And my unfortunate baby-name was preserved by Uncle Blake. If he calls me anything other than Tilly, please don\u2019t laugh.\u201d<\/p>\n

Puzzled, Adam agreed, but before he could ask her what it was she went on, \u201cSecond\u2026you are my shotgun.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not going to kill him for you, Tilly,\u201d Adam chuckled.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t use a gun just because you have it\u2014but I\u2019ll bet it\u2019s a great comfort to you just having it there. That\u2019s all that I mean. But you are also not there to negotiate or intimidate or carry on a pleasant conversation. In fact, I\u2019d just as soon you didn\u2019t talk to him at all. Can you do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeems a little silly,\u201d Adam muttered. \u201cAnd rude.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNevertheless, it\u2019s what I\u2019m asking.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Tilly. Today you\u2019re the boss.\u201d<\/p>\n

Only a few people were inside the International House already, but apparently one of them was Blake, because after a minute\u2019s searching she headed right to an occupied table. The man there was just a few years older than Adam, and blond, with distinctive blue eyes. He rose to his feet instantly with a broad smile when she approached. \u201cLily Tilly!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam, just behind her, saw her hesitate; almost felt her shrink, and that was enough to keep him from smiling. \u201cBlake,\u201d was all she said, and that in a voice devoid of emotion. He reached out to hug her; she stopped in her tracks. \u201cDon\u2019t even think about it. Just sit down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t seen you in more than 10 years! You grew up bossy,\u201d Weston said with a grin. He didn\u2019t sit down. \u201cI booked a room for our discussion.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not going anywhere with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, but that\u2019s where the box is. I also have some things to say, Lily\u2014of a delicate nature. I\u2019d rather not do it in this hotel lobby.\u201d He strode off, not waiting for her.<\/p>\n

She turned and jerked her head at Adam. He half-shrugged and followed, wondering what was going on in this strange family, and how Blake Weston had managed to book a room in the International House when two days before they had told Adam they were full up. Weston unlocked a door to one of the meeting rooms, thus answering the question; these rooms had only tables and chairs and were rented by the hour. Tilly walked in and Weston started to shut the door. Adam pushed the door open with an apologetic glance at Weston, and followed Tilly inside. Weston shut the door and turned to look at Tilly.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy condolences on the loss of\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSpare me the hypocrisy, Blake. I just came here from church; this is as dirty as I want to get.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre we going to discuss family matters in front of a stranger?\u201d he asked quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s not a stranger to me,\u201d Tilly replied, glancing at Adam. \u201cAnd I don\u2019t intend to discuss anything with you. Just give me what you came to give me and I\u2019ll leave.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen you won\u2019t even introduce me to your friend?\u201d Weston looked appraisingly at Adam. \u201cLily Tilly, I\u2019ve only been here since I got off the early morning stage, but I\u2019ve already heard a lot of gossip about you. How you\u2019ve allied yourself with the most powerful family in this area and have them all doing your bidding; how you destroyed a boarding house room after a lover\u2019s quarrel with one of those fellows, and how you spent New Year\u2019s Day in jail. I was hoping that we could have a long talk, and you could perhaps explain. After all, these days I\u2019m your only kin, and I feel responsible for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam, leaning against the wall and watching them both, had to fight an inclination to defend Tilly\u2019s honor. He was still as puzzled as he\u2019d been the day before, but for Tilly, he\u2019d take the chance and continue following instructions. He did quickly decide that he was going to buy the mortgage on O\u2019Reilly\u2019s boarding house and throw the woman out into the street if he got a chance, though. Or maybe better yet, he wouldn\u2019t do it, but he\u2019d make her think he was doing it. Oh, yes, that would be lots more fun.<\/em><\/p>\n

Tilly actually laughed briefly at the accusation, and didn\u2019t bother defending herself. \u201cYou\u2019ve never been responsible to or for anybody, and I don\u2019t owe you any explanations. What I do is my own business. If either of us owes anything in that realm, I would think you might explain to me why you took 90% of my father\u2019s money out of a company that you only owned 40% of, and ran off and left him to face the Yankee army alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, I give you my word\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou gave your word to Mother that you\u2019d quit drinking and running around on your wife too. And I\u2019m not going to remind you what you promised me. Your word is a wooden nickel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLily Tilly! What would your mother think if she heard how you\u2019re speaking to me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe wouldn\u2019t believe it, any more than she would have believed it than if I had tried to tell her about you.\u201d A flush crept into her cheeks. \u201cI\u2019d like to get this over with, Blake.\u201d<\/p>\n

Weston sat down and put his feet up on another chair. \u201cI need to tell you a couple of things, first, my Lily\u2026little\u2026niece. Your mother sent me some things to give you when you and I next met. Do you know what they are?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Tilly said. \u201cShe wrote me about it. Does this interfere with your plans, Uncle? I\u2019m sure you pulled out anything of value and auctioned it off already.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything your mother put in that box is still there. Tilly, this is all very distressing to me. You used to be very fond of me. Remember when\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t bring up the past unless you want to face down all of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI named one of my collies for you, you know. Her name was Gray Lily of the Westons. I had such plans for her; I was going to breed her to Black Clover of the Westons. I\u2019ve still got five of my flagship collies, you know. Lily died, unfortunately, but her insurance check came in last week so I\u2019ll be buying a new female. I have great hopes for the program. I\u2019m going to start my own Western line of Scotch collies. Do you know, nobody this side of the Mississippi seems to have ever seen one?\u201d<\/p>\n

At that, Adam nearly broke his promise; he definitely wanted to hear more about the collies. He stayed silent, although Tilly\u2019s next words almost forced an exclamation from him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish they had all died,\u201d Tilly spat. \u201cIt\u2019s better than what you\u2019ll do to them. I saw what you did to the ones in Savannah. I want the things my mother left me, Blake, simply because it\u2019s the only part of her that\u2019s left to me. But I do not want to talk to you anymore, and if you intend to keep me here any longer then I\u2019ll just walk out and leave the box here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have the money,\u201d Weston said. \u201cI borrowed it for some investments\u2014but when they mature\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI never had the illusion that you would have the money. I\u2019m not my mother. May I have the box?\u201d<\/p>\n

Weston sighed. \u201cAll right.\u201d He handed her the heavy wooden crate with little regard for her size, but she took it.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks a lot, Blake. I\u2019m leaving now\u2014please don\u2019t ever contact me again.\u201d<\/p>\n

With that she swept out of the room, a puzzled and irritated Adam trailing in her wake.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, I won\u2019t pry,\u201d Adam said, \u201cbut\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

She ignored him, heading back down to the wagon as fast as she could without running. Adam estimated the crate weighed around 35-40 pounds, but it was the unwieldiness of it rather than the weight that bothered him. No; he couldn\u2019t let her carry it anymore.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll take it.\u201d Almost to his surprise, she surrendered it\u2014practically threw it at him\u2014and then she did run, flat out, for the wagon, and when he got there with the box she was digging her fingers into the mane of one of the horses, leaning on its neck.<\/p>\n

He put the box in the wagon and went up to her. \u201cHey,\u201d he said. \u201cYou can get up on the seat or I can just drive along with you clinging to the mane and waving alongside like a ribbon\u2014\u201d She wasn\u2019t crying, but she looked like she was about to, and here they were on the busiest thoroughfare in Virginia City at midday.<\/p>\n

\u201cEveryone is normal,\u201d she said quietly. \u201cUntil you get to know them.\u201d<\/p>\n

He chuckled. \u201cThat\u2019s pretty profound.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSe\u00f1or Lopez Chavarri\u2026Don Fernando\u2026used to say that. He was the father of the family I worked for in Valencia. Well, Adam, I don\u2019t ever expect I\u2019ll see you again. I\u2019ll miss your family.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talking about? You\u2019re coming home with me, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure.\u201d A short, humorless laugh. \u201cI\u2019ve got nowhere else to go. I\u2019m an orphan, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cQuit being silly and get in the wagon. I don\u2019t know why you were so rude to your uncle, but that\u2019s your business, and I\u2019m hardly going to kick you out of the house over it.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked at him for a minute, her eyes wet. She scrubbed them on her sleeve and said softly, \u201cTickling is funny as hell when you\u2019re a little boy, three years old. It\u2019s a lot less funny when you\u2019re a little boy of nine and you don\u2019t want to be tickled. I know what kind of character that man is. Just before I was to leave for Indiana, I caught him with my brother Eddie. Eddie was crying and begging him to stop, and he wouldn\u2019t. I got him away and told him I\u2019d tell my father. Blake promised never to do it again, if only I wouldn\u2019t tell. But then I found him with Geoffrey.\u00a0 I took a frying pan to Blake Weston that day and damn near killed him. And I told him I\u2019d never be in a room with him again unless there was someone to protect him from me, because I would<\/em> kill him if he got within ten feet of my brothers again. Now you know why I\u2019m rude to him.\u201d She grabbed the side of the wagon and started to climb on, but he pulled her back down.<\/p>\n

\u201cTake it easy, Tilly,\u201d he said soothingly. \u201cEasy.\u201d He put his arms around her and just held her for a few minutes, until her heart slowed down. She looked up at him and smiled a little, her face red. \u201cI\u2019m not as big a crybaby as you think I am, honest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly,\u201d he said quietly, his hand on the butt of his Colt, \u201cYou let me know if that man ever gets within ten feet of you, and I\u2019ll kill him myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, don\u2019t worry about him, Adam. Just put a skillet in my hands, and he won\u2019t stand a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a pleasant, if cold, ride back. Tilly was almost in good spirits. So was Adam\u2026until he started thinking, for no reason, about Gray Lily, Weston\u2019s dead dog. And he wondered how she had died.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Two days later, on Tuesday\u2014the 5th<\/sup> of January\u2014Hoss brought Tilly back to town and took her to Widow Hawkins\u2019 place. He was in something of a rush because time was running short; the Cartwright boys expected their father back by mid-month. And Tilly was anxious to get back to school. \u201cI\u2019m sure sorry you had to leave so soon, Miss Tilly,\u201d Hoss apologized as he handed her down from the wagon and took down her carpetbag. \u201cI\u2019ll carry this in for you and then I\u2019ll get your trunks. We sure will miss you. I\u2019m lonesome for you already.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly smiled. \u201cHoss, you and Adam and Joe have all been so sweet, I don\u2019t even know where to start thanking you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, shucks.\u201d Hoss blushed. \u201cYou know me and Joe think of you as our little sister. And ever\u2019body knows about Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly had no idea what that meant; she didn\u2019t know what \u201ceveryone\u201d knew about Adam, nor was she aware that there was anything to know about Adam. She therefore accepted the great compliment Hoss had paid that she did<\/em> understand, and bestowed a sisterly kiss on one cheek. \u201cThat\u2019s for Joe,\u201d she said. She kissed his other cheek. \u201cThat one\u2019s for you.\u201d After a little moment\u2019s thought, through the spreading blush on his face, she gave him a final kiss on the chin. \u201cAnd that one\u2019s for Adam. See you soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes ma\u2019am.\u201d Hoss got back in the wagon, turned the team about in a large U, and headed out of town. He didn\u2019t notice that the morning stage had just passed him on its way through town\u2026or that his father was on it.<\/p>\n

Chapter 14<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was something of a superhuman feat, Ben thought, getting from Kansas to Nevada in 12 days\u2014quite a lot shorter than the first time he had traveled that route. He had heard it said that by the end of this year it would be possible to travel all the way from New York to California in only 10 days. Transitioning from the train to the stage coach had felt like going from a run to a crawl, and that was when he had realized just how fast they\u2019d been going on that train. He tried to imagine going that fast without a train. No, not possible.<\/p>\n

He had slipped the stage driver a couple of extra dollars to make sure their stops were not too long. And, going through the pass when he had was the purest luck; the mountains had gotten some six feet of snow the very next day, and all the passes were blocked.<\/p>\n

He still couldn\u2019t believe the craziness in Little Joe\u2019s letter was true, but then the two telegrams since had not been reassuring, and he hadn\u2019t received any more letters.<\/p>\n

Only\u2026just now\u2026surely that was Hoss they had just passed. Who was the woman he was bringing into town at first light, and why was she kissing him? He started to call out, but at the speed they were going and the noise the stage was making, he knew it would be a waste of breath. By the time the stage had stopped at the station, Hoss had turned the team around and was trotting out of sight.<\/p>\n

At first he cursed his bad luck, missing a free ride home\u2014now he\u2019d have to rent a horse. But then again, this would give him a chance to get a bath and buy some clothes. The railroad had lost his trunk; it was probably somewhere in California now. And maybe he\u2019d drop by Roy\u2019s office, or Paul\u2019s, and maybe find out what they knew about what was going on at home. He didn\u2019t want to just walk into the house and start demanding information\u2014usually when he did that, he ended up losing his temper if the information was not exactly what he wanted to hear, or if it was not provided quickly enough. That had long been a problem he and the boys had had; they had certainly complained to him about it more than once, and he didn\u2019t want his homecoming after a four-month absence to be a shouting session. He\u2019d already missed the holidays with them. He drank a cup of coffee at the International House, wondering just how much else he had missed.<\/p>\n

The people at the table behind him were annoying; their laughter was boisterous and their subject in poor taste. \u201cHe did, I\u2019m tellin\u2019 you\u2014he was gonna kill the guy if she wanted him to. Had his hand right on his gun.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, really? And on a SUNDAY?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes! And then she<\/em> said she\u2019d take a frying pan to him. Tell you what, I thought I\u2019d better get outta range quick.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it wouldn\u2019t be the first time that guy\u2019s killed somebody. I heard he murdered a trollop once\u2014and framed the sheriff for it. I guess when you\u2019re rich, you can do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

More raucous laughter. Ben stiffened. He got up, tossed a coin on the table and walked away.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it was definitely Adam,\u201d he heard as he left. \u201cCoffee was draggin\u2019 him and that schoolteacher right to the jail.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cC\u2019mon, are you sure <\/em>it wasn\u2019t Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, honey, he<\/em> ain\u2019t been fit to do no fightin\u2019 these last few months anyhow. Gettin\u2019 shot really took the wind outta his sails.\u201d<\/p>\n

What had happened to his boys? Was any of this true? And why were all these people talking about his sons right in front of him? Ben rubbed a hand over his face. Sure, he needed a shave, but he wasn\u2019t that<\/em> different\u2026only then he realized that he hadn\u2019t recognized any of these people, either. Virginia City\u2019s residents apparently had changed again; the peril of a town that grew like a heartbeat, pumping new people in and old people out at crazy speeds.<\/p>\n

He went down to the sheriff\u2019s office, but Roy wasn\u2019t in. \u201cPris\u2019ner escort to Placerville,\u201d Clem told him. \u201cFinally got enough evidence on them two guys, you know. He\u2019ll be back tomorrow though. But I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll want to talk to you, Mr. Cartwright. Between your boys and the train incident and the Pinkertons and all that business, he\u2019ll have a lot to say. \u2019Course Adam can fill you in on most of that I reckon, since it was all his idea. You seen him yet? Is he doin\u2019 any better? He was still walkin\u2019 with a cane when we had him in here Thursday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA cane? What do you mean, \u2018had him in here<\/em>\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh you know, we had to arrest him last week. Him and the schoolteacher.\u201d Clem laughed. \u201cBoy, was Adam fussin\u2019\u2014Roy wouldn\u2019t put him and the schoolteacher in the same cell. Said it wouldn\u2019t be proper. Adam said he didn\u2019t give a damn about proper and that Roy was a heartless son of\u2014well, his brothers bailed him out pretty quick. Schoolteacher, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben started to ask more questions, but the answers Clem had already provided left him confused. In the end he just wished Clem a pleasant day and continued on\u2014but there was no getting away from the mayhem. There were always more strange tales to hear. While browsing through the shirts at the mercantile, he heard the story of how Little Joe and Hoss had been gunned down\u2014and then a different version where they had shot each other. Still another version from a fellow who claimed to have been on the posse that investigated said that two men were arrested, but they had been mauled by a wolf and one of them had his arm taken off.<\/p>\n

In the trousers and long johns section, he learned that Hop Sing was giving himself airs now and acting like a dandy because one of the town prostitutes was teaching him English. At the bath house, he heard that the Ponderosa had burned to the ground. No one would help them, he heard later, because the Cartwright boys charged everyone $50 for the privilege of coming out to fight the fire. Well, the outrageous claim of an admission price at least convinced Ben that there could not have been a fire at his place.<\/p>\n

Strangest of all, there was talk that Adam had caused a train to be derailed in California; that he had robbed the train, and that he had made the railroad pay to get back the money he had taken. Well, that was all poppycock too, Ben was certain, but it did at least remind him to go to the bank.<\/p>\n

There was Cyrus in his big posh office; Ben waved, and Cyrus beckoned him in. \u201cHey, welcome back, Ben,\u201d he called, and Ben grinned, glad someone had recognized him at last\u2014even Clem had taken a minute before saying, \u201cOh, Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you, Cyrus?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter than fine. I\u2019ll tell you, Ben, those boys of yours sure have kept us entertained in your absence. I\u2019m sure Adam\u2019s written you all about it, of course, but I just have to put in my own good word.\u201d<\/p>\n

Thank God, a good<\/em> word about one of his boys. Ben breathed a little easier.<\/p>\n

\u201cBeating the Pinkertons at their own game like that\u2014the whole town\u2019s been having a laugh. I\u2019ll tell you, with Adam those still waters really do run deep. Losing that train was\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrain? Waters? Pink\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Oblivious, Cyrus went on, \u201cAnd the money came at the right time, too, since I\u2019ll tell you, the Ponderosa would\u2019ve been facing a pretty bleak future without it, what with the loans and the fire and all. Of course, I was a bit flummoxed when Adam put it into his own account instead of the ranch account, but when I got to thinking\u2014oh, excuse me, Ben, but that new teller is hopeless. Heaven help the man if he has to count higher than his fingers.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was late afternoon when Ben headed for Doc Martin\u2019s office. He passed by Cass\u2019s General Store, and Cass himself was out sweeping the sidewalk. \u201cBen!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s good to see you, Cass.\u201d They shook hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cListen, Ben, I don\u2019t want to hit you with problems right after your return, but would you mind taking this note up to Adam when you go? Nothing serious, just a reminder.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I had to send up a lot of emergency supplies last month, to fight the fire. Adam still hasn\u2019t paid yet. I know that with everything else, he\u2019s just forgot, but you know, I have bills of my own.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFire? What fire?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you haven\u2019t heard? Yeah, a pretty bad fire up at your place a couple weeks before Christmas. They\u2019re still collecting all the cattle after the stampede. Poor MacDonald\u2019s place won\u2019t be the same again soon. Will Cartwright\u2019s, neither. Anyway, if you\u2019d just give this note to Adam, I\u2019d appreciate it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow much do we owe? I have some cash on me\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s okay, Ben, I can carry you a little longer.\u201d Cass grinned and winked. \u201cWouldn\u2019t be the first time, eh?\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul. He had to see Paul Martin, he thought, dashing to the doctor\u2019s office. Surely he would be able to tell a sensible tale.<\/p>\n

Paul was in with a patient, so Ben sat down in the waiting room by two women he didn\u2019t know, who were so deep into their gossip they didn\u2019t even see him. And he didn\u2019t want to hear their conversation, but he listened anyway.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did he say then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe told her she\u2019d never<\/em> rent a room to anyone again if he had anything to do with it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan he do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard he\u2019s been asking around town who owns her mortgage. If he buys it he can toss her out on her ear.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut would he really be so cruel<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoney, the things I\u2019ve heard about Adam Cartwright, he could give Geronimo a few lessons on meanness.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben glanced up sharply at the women, but neither of them noticed.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd all that over the schoolteacher,\u201d the first one went on. \u201cYou know, I liked her at first. My Billy was twelve years old and still couldn\u2019t read. Once that Hoffman girl, that Tilly, got hold of him, he was reading like a professor. It\u2019s a shame she had to go bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not so sure she wasn\u2019t like it all along,\u201d came the reply. \u201cI heard she was married five times.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFIVE times?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what about this. Why was she even keeping that room at the boarding house when she was out at the ranch all the time?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean \u2018all the time\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s been spending almost every single weekend out there. And a lot of weeknights, too\u2014O\u2019Reilly said she\u2019d go home after school, take a nap, and then ride out and spend the whole night at the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, my Billy said she was nodding off over the lessons a few times.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWonder which one she\u2019s scheming to get for husband number six?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNone, I hope! I heard tell Old Ben Cartwright, the father of the whole bunch, is coming back soon. Maybe he\u2019ll put a stop to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSuppose he joins in? Wouldn\u2019t that be something? After all, he\u2019s<\/em> the one who owns everything. Why take the little Banty cock when you can get the full-grown rooster?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are so wicked!\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul stepped out of his office then. \u201cMrs. Flaherty, Mrs. Miggins, I\u2019m sorry, but I just had an emergency come through the back door; I\u2019ll be tied up in surgery for the rest of the day. Hey, Ben Cartwright, welcome back! Sorry I can\u2019t talk now, but I\u2019ll come by your place tomorrow if that\u2019s all right. I need to check on everybody up there anyhow. Say hi to Tilly for me.\u201d The door slammed.<\/p>\n

Ben gave the two ladies a glare that would\u2019ve turned an apple brown, and headed for the door thinking red thoughts. The two ladies looked at each other, wide-eyed, hands over their mouths\u2026and began to giggle wildly.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Otis Watts stiffened in fear when he saw Ben Cartwright coming toward his stable. Last time Ben had a scowl like that he had nearly thrown Otis across the barn. Darn those Belgians and darn Barney Fuller anyway.<\/p>\n

\u201cOtis,\u201d Ben bellowed as he stamped in. \u201cSaddle up Thunder! I need to get home!\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh dear God.<\/em> \u201cMr. Cartwright, I\u2019m sorry\u2026I can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, is he lame? He\u2019s here; I\u2019m looking right at him!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThunder is no longer available for rental, Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean someone bought him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEr\u2026not exactly. But he\u2019s been leased for the next six months and paid for up front.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, fine. Do you have another horse as fast as Thunder?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo sir, but I do have Mr. Blue. He\u2019s a good horse.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s blind in one eye and can\u2019t see outta the other!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Mr. Cartwright, but he\u2019s all I have available tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben sighed. \u201cWho paid for Thunder? I\u2019ll go talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Otis began to quake. \u201cUm\u2026Mr. Cartwright\u2026it was Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam. Adam\u2026Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf the contract is with Adam, one Cartwright is good as another.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe didn\u2019t rent him for the Cartwrights, Mr. Cartwright\u2014he rented him for Miss Tilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Tilly?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe schoolteacher, Mr. Cartwright. She\u2019d been renting him just about day and\u00a0 night, and then one day in December Adam came down and made me sign a contract with him. I can\u2019t release Thunder to anybody but Miss Tilly until the first of May.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not riding that cursed blue roan creature, Otis.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a tough decision Otis Watts faced. Adam had changed a lot since the day he had politely requested the Belgians and let his father come back to finalize the deal. Now, Otis wondered who he feared the most: father or son. Ben spared him the decision.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust tell me where I can find this \u2018Miss Tilly.\u2019 I\u2019ve got a bone or two to pick with her, anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUm\u2026well, she\u2019s just now moved back into town since Mrs. O\u2019Reilly kicked her out and she went to the Ponderosa\u2026I think she went to the Widow Hawkins\u2019 place but I\u2019m not sure\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

It was Ben\u2019s turn to quake in fear.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

As he was walking to the Hawkins boarding house, his dread increasing with every hint of forward motion, Ben noticed the lamps were all lit at the schoolhouse. He gave a satisfied grunt, pulled his heavy jacket collar up around his throat a little more, and headed toward the schoolhouse. This should be easy enough, provided the little strumpet didn\u2019t give him enough provocation to take her by the throat.<\/p>\n

He could see her through the windows, a little slip of a thing who wouldn\u2019t quite reach Joe\u2019s shoulder. A good wind would blow her away. She had black curly hair. He remembered Joe\u2019s letter describing hair that sparkled in the light, but he didn\u2019t really see that; nor did he see the long, thin nose that made her look \u201clike a wolf.\u201d She was in fact rather pretty\u2014if you bothered to look twice. Still, she was the schoolteacher, and there was only one. So this was the girl who was sleeping with Joe by Joseph\u2019s own admission\u2014and according to the town gossip, cavorting with Adam as well. And\u2014heavens, wasn\u2019t she the one Hoss had brought into town that morning and kissed farewell? She didn\u2019t look like a seductress\u2014but then, those were the worst kind, the ones that didn\u2019t look the part. What kind of charm did she have that all three of his boys were under her spell? And now he, Ben Cartwright, was going to her to beg to use a horse that wasn\u2019t even hers? He set his jaw, knocked a couple of times on the door and yanked it open.<\/p>\n

She turned from the chalkboard at once (the chalkboard that HE had purchased for the school, he couldn\u2019t help thinking). \u201cSir, I did not say you could come in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t ask, either,\u201d he replied ominously. \u201cThat knock was a notification of intent, not a request for permission.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u201d She had blue eyes like a summer sky, and he felt a wave of homesickness. She sat down behind her desk and just looked at him without a word.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Miss,\u201d he said, \u201cI need a horse. Otis tells me the big chestnut has been rented to you until spring. Well, the only other horse he has available right now is half-blind, and I\u2019m tired and cold, and I still have a 20-mile ride to make in the darkness. I\u2019m willing to pay you twice the normal livery rate for the use of that chestnut tonight. I\u2019ll bring it back tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

She said nothing, just looked at him with her hands folded primly on the desk.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d A rather cold, but very simple, answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know you. Sir, I do not make a habit out of even speaking to men I have not been introduced to, but here you are in my school, attempting to tell me what to do with my horse. I\u2019m not making any deal with you. You could be halfway to San Francisco by morning and I\u2019d be out a horse and the money a friend paid for it. And don\u2019t bother making yourself look mean and threatening. My answer is still no.\u201d<\/p>\n

He deflated slightly. \u201cWould you do business with me if I introduced myself?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly if you can prove that you\u2019re who you say you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy isn\u2019t my word good enough? A man\u2019s word should be his sacred oath.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou must not\u2019ve lived in Virginia City very long, Mister.\u201d She grinned\u2014she did have a nice smile, just as Joseph had said\u2014and for just a second he involuntarily grinned back.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve lived here for 20 years and some, Miss. My name\u2019s Ben Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

That made her mouth drop open\u2014but only for a moment. \u201cNo you\u2019re not,\u201d she sighed. \u201cAnd I\u2019m getting less impressed with you by the minute, because I have a strong dislike for liars. So I hope you\u2019ll just go now. I am<\/em> armed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou? What kind of gun do you<\/em> carry?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t carry a gun.\u201d Just that fast, she was on her feet, brandishing a cast iron skillet 12 inches in diameter. It was a monster that must have weighed a good 10 pounds. \u201cNow Mister, I am busy as sin and tired to boot, so I think you need to shuffle outta here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I am<\/em> Ben Cartwright!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cProve it! I know all three of his boys very blessed well, and you don\u2019t look like any of them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d he said tightly. \u201cI\u2019ve heard that you know all my sons. Perhaps even in the Biblical sense.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her eyes widened at that, but then she just shook her head, looking amused.<\/p>\n

Coldly furious, he went on: \u201cSo maybe my sons have told you a little about me. They might have told you that I have a temper. And that while I consider patience a virtue, it\u2019s not one I possess a great deal of. Or that while I consider myself a gentleman for the most part, I do not care for sassy women and I\u2019ve been known to spank them when they required it.\u201d<\/p>\n

She tilted her head. \u201cLikewise, sir, I don\u2019t care for uppity men. The real Ben Cartwright is not due here for two more weeks, and from what I\u2019ve heard is a kind and wise man. A kind and wise man would not come blasting into a schoolhouse trying to accuse and intimidate a woman in the middle of the night. So march outta here, Mister; my patience is exhausted!\u201d<\/p>\n

And then she pitched the skillet right at him. He barely had time to hurl himself out of the line of fire; that sent him tripping over a bench and sprawling on the floor. And worst of all\u2014there was another skillet in her hand. \u201cI warned you, Mister. I\u2019ve got four more of these things under my desk, so you better make yourself one with all outdoors now!\u201d<\/p>\n

When the second skillet came his way, he decided it might be best if he made himself scarce.<\/p>\n

A little later he limped back into the livery just as Otis was closing up. \u201cI\u2019ll take the blue roan,\u201d he said flatly. \u201cNow, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Bad enough to see the trollop his sons were consorting with openly admitting that she spent time with them; unimaginable that she had attacked him with cookware. Now it was after seven, and at the pace the roan gelding took it would be close up on ten p.m. before he got home. There was no moon, and he supposed it wouldn\u2019t have made any difference even if he had borrowed Thunder; no point in going faster than a walk with this visibility.<\/p>\n

What a day<\/em>, he thought bleakly. Instead of spending a day with my boys I spent it listening to a bunch of sick people and old cats gossiping. But\u2026some of that couldn\u2019t be gossip. Cass would know if there was a fire\u2026Clem was an eyewitness to Adam being arrested\u2026What did Cyrus mean about a bleak future without money\u2014and Adam getting money to save the ranch and putting it in his own account? I should have just gone home and questioned them; at least the yelling would be over by now and we would all be on good terms again. And I\u2019d be sleeping in my own bed instead of riding this nag over territory that\u2019s not familiar. But at least soon I\u2019ll be home\u2026I\u2019ll just take the key and let myself in and go to bed. They\u2019ll all be asleep, no point in waking them.<\/em><\/p>\n

Before he even got to the south pasture cutoff trail, he smelled the leftover smoke-smell and dead animals and trees; oh God, the trees! He could see a few stubby, blackened stumps. The roan became skittish and that, coupled with its bad vision, became one more thing to fight. And when they finally rounded the last curve and the ranch house came to view, all he could see that one entire side of the barn had been ripped out, the burned planks in a pile near the corral and a thick canvas tarp nailed to the roof to provide a modicum of protection from the wind. Ben felt half-frozen. The stalls were full on the good side of the barn; there was Buck, and Chubb, and Cochise, but who was this bulky chestnut? Where was Beauty? What were his boys up to? How had the fire started?<\/p>\n

He rubbed the roan down and tied a lead rope to its halter, then tied the rope to a two-by-four that ran across the wall. Finally he limped slowly to the front door, thinking how good his bed would feel. It was good the boys were asleep; right now he was too tired to talk. He unlocked the door and pushed it open. From somewhere deep within the house he heard a low, throaty rumble, but he ignored it.<\/p>\n

He took two more steps toward the stairs, and then all hell broke loose.<\/p>\n

Chapter 15<\/strong><\/p>\n

Adam, Hoss and Joe had gone to bed at about 9 p.m.; they had been working on the barn since Hoss got home and still weren\u2019t finished. All the burned boards had been taken down, but only about a third of the new ones were in place. Now that nature had remembered the season, she seemed to be making up for lost time.\u00a0 They were frozen stiff in spite of the backbreaking work when Adam had called a halt. He had tried to make it easier for Hoss and especially Little Joe, who still did not have full use of his arm, but they were both trying to make things easier for Adam, and in the end nothing was easy and little was done. Bone-tired, they had eaten in near-silence and gone to bed. Joe and Hoss were too tired for their checkers game and Adam, for a change, was too tired to even read in bed, much less try to bring the long-neglected account books up to date. He made a mental note to forego anything that could be construed as pleasant in the next few days until the ledgers were finished.<\/p>\n

Lady jumped up on the bed beside him and he curled around her, appreciating her warmth but wishing wistfully that she was someone else. He wondered how Tilly would feel about Lady sleeping with them when they were married. \u201cYou know, she\u2019s always griping about her feet being cold,\u201d he said with a yawn. \u201cYou could do some real good there, Lady old girl.\u201d That morning, he\u2019d had Hoss take Tilly into town. He and Lady had gone out to the little canyon property his Pa had signed over to him two years earlier, when he had thought he and Laura would be living there. Hoss and Joe had quietly dismantled the place after Laura had gone away, and he\u2019d never been back since. But he wanted to put his mind straight about the place, since he\u2019d have to start building again pretty soon. If<\/em> his back and leg ever got right. Today was the first time he\u2019d been on a horse since Beauty\u2019s death, and between Sport\u2019s green energy and Adam\u2019s own aches and pains, it had been a heck of a ride. Sport would take a lot of work before he was up to Beauty, he thought, but he was going to be a lot of fun to work with\u2014and then he grinned because he could remember a time, not so long ago, when he wouldn\u2019t have thought like that.<\/p>\n

Now it felt later than it was. He was aching everywhere; he had returned from his ride with his limp even more pronounced, and working on the barn all day hadn\u2019t made it any better.<\/p>\n

He was sound asleep when Lady growled loudly. \u201cShhhh,\u201d he told her without really waking. He didn\u2019t notice that she had fluffed out to half-again her normal size in worry, and he didn\u2019t feel her slide out from under his arm, or jump off the bed to pad silently down the stairs.<\/p>\n

Lady had learned a lot in four months\u2014she knew all the ranch hands, and had become friendly or at least tolerant of them. She loved the other occupants of the house, thinking of Hop Sing, Joe, and Hoss as members of her pack. She loved Adam. She knew Adam loved Tilly, which meant Lady loved her too. She knew that Will Cartwright was allowed to come and go as he pleased, as were Doc Martin and Roy Coffee. She knew that guests who knocked on the door were usually allowed in. This, however, was a new situation\u2014a man she had never seen before, but whose scent was vaguely familiar from a long time ago when she had first come to the house, was here. He did not knock at the door. He did not make any noise. His every movement was quiet and almost furtive. Perhaps he had been here before and her pack had chased him away, like those people out in the pasture. But whatever he was up to, he was up to no good. She growled, but he did not heed the warning, and so with two barks, she launched herself at him.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

At the first bark, Adam was annoyed; at the second, he was wide awake and moving. But his leg had already stiffened and as soon as he forced himself to his feet, his back spasmed mildly in protest; he kept moving only because he had to. The ferocious snarling could only belong to Lady, but who in the world had such a high-pitched scream? Maybe that wretched kid Dex<\/em>, he thought as he limped for the stairs.<\/p>\n

He staggered down the stairs behind the fast-moving Hoss and the even-faster-moving Joe; both were yelling \u201cLady, get off!\u201d and as usual when Adam was in the house, Lady ignored them both, acknowledging only one leader. \u201cLady!\u201d Adam cried\u2014feebly, he realized later. \u201cOFF, Lady!\u201d The dog grudgingly backed down, continuing to snarl, and Hoss grabbed the newcomer by the collar and hoisted him none too gently to his feet as Adam and Joe lit the lamps.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, you varmint\u2014Pa?\u201d Hoss gasped.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the HELL is THAT?\u201d Ben Cartwright thundered, and the house seemed to shake right down to its foundation. There were some words Ben Cartwright never used, and the very fact that he had just said one of them was perfect proof of the seriousness of the situation\u2014even if the mere loudness gauge on his voice hadn\u2019t registered somewhere in the vicinity of a dynamite explosion.<\/p>\n

His three sons, nightshirt clad and confused, just looked at him for a minute. Joe was the first to recover. \u201cPa, welcome home!\u201d He threw his arms around his father. Hoss quickly followed suit. Adam thought about it, but decided it might be best to get Lady out of the way first.<\/p>\n

\u201cLady, go to bed,\u201d he said quietly. Reluctantly she looked at the intruder, and back at Adam. \u201cGo to bed,\u201d he repeated firmly, pointing. She headed for the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you okay, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked. \u201cI don\u2019t see any blood, but your jacket\u2019s a little tore.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben saw Lady climbing the stairs and repeated, \u201cI want to know what that THING is and why it just attacked me in my own home!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe didn\u2019t know it was your own home, Pa,\u201d Joe said quickly. \u201cShe\u2019s never seen you before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s just real protective is all,\u201d Hoss assured him. \u201cShe\u2019s never attacked anybody before unless they needed it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam.\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was low enough to dig a tunnel right underneath Adam, and if it had, Adam would gladly have fallen into it.<\/p>\n

\u201cWelcome home, Pa,\u201d he said weakly. \u201cSorry about the, um, reception. We didn\u2019t expect you home so soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cObviously. I\u2019m surprised your girlfriend isn\u2019t here too. Or is she yours\u2014or yours?\u201d Ben shot a glance at each of the boys, which only set them all talking at once, Adam demanding to know what he was talking about, Joe asking who he meant, Hoss saying \u201cPa, Eudora ain\u2019t been over here in months!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStop it!\u201d Ben bellowed. \u201cBad enough you\u2019ve set my home on fire. Bad enough that you\u2019re harboring some miscreant mongrel in my house\u2014and I want that THING out of here now!\u2014but you\u2019ve made the family name a laughingstock in all of Virginia City! I spent years building our reputation as good men here, and all I\u2019ve heard since I\u2019ve been back is how\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLady,\u201d Adam said softly, and the dog bounded back to him.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s go outside.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere do you think you\u2019re going, young man? I\u2019m talking!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou need to figure out your priorities, Pa,\u201d Adam said, his voice hoarse, putting on his coat and boots. \u201cI can\u2019t put the dog out and stand here and listen to you at the same time. Come on, old girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

He took her out to the barn; the last thing he heard was Joe shouting \u201cYou mean you\u2019re listening to the town gossip?\u201d and his father\u2019s very loud, harsh reply, \u201cIs it gossip if our friends are saying it too? What about Cass? What about Clem? What about\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

He pointed Lady to the haystack, pulling down one of the saddle blankets for her. She looked at him, her forehead crinkly with concern. He had a feeling she was more worried about him going back into the house with that very loud man than she was about being left in the barn. \u201cHe\u2019s not as bad as he sounds,\u201d he said softly, reassuring her as best he could, although truth to tell he was feeling a bit in need of reassurance himself. He rubbed her ears. \u201cI\u2019ll be back in a little while,\u201d he said with a smile. \u201cIf things go well, I\u2019ll come to bring you back inside\u2026if not, then I\u2019ll sleep out here with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He got back to find Little Joe yelling, \u201cWhat lady are you talking about? I never said any such thing!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat belligerent little tart in town\u2014I read your letter until the ink was ready to come off the page! You boasted about it!\u201d Pa was yelling.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan we stop this?\u201d Adam cut in. \u201cWe\u2019re not going to get anywhere just screaming at each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s, right, Pa,\u201d Hoss said promptly. \u201cYou both need to calm down. Ain\u2019t gonna help nothin\u2019 if we all just yell without thinkin\u2019 like you\u2019re doin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m yelling without thinking?\u201d Ben roared. \u201cI\u2019ve been thinking about this for a month! I sent two telegrams! I got flippancy from him\u2014\u201d a thumb jerked in Joe\u2019s direction\u2014\u201cand from him<\/em> I get talk about ledgers!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d Adam said, puzzled. \u201cYou said you wanted a full accounting. The books were up to date until December, but a lot\u2019s happened\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd there you go again!\u201d Ben barked. \u201cI have had enough of this and I want a straight answer to my questions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou haven\u2019t asked<\/em> me anything,\u201d Adam retorted. The cold had woken him completely and his father\u2019s complete lack of reason was beginning to irk him. \u201cPa, obviously you\u2019ve had a long, hard trip. I think you should get a good night\u2019s sleep. It would help us out as well\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAmen,\u201d Hoss said fervently.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2014and I think it would be better if we talk this over in the morning with cool heads and hot coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben glared at him. \u201cYou\u2019re right. I\u2019ve had a very hard trip and a cold reception. We can talk about this in the morning. I hope you\u2019ve got better excuses than you have tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine. I\u2019ll go get my dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, you\u2019ll go get\u2014are you referring to that aberration<\/em> that jumped me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s a dog, Pa,\u201d Joe said quickly. \u201cAnd the smartest one in the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care if she\u2019s a Harvard graduate!\u201d Ben shouted. \u201cThat dog is not to come in this house again!\u201d<\/p>\n

With that he stomped up the stairs to his room, and Joe and Hoss turned to Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do we do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou go to bed,\u201d Adam said. \u201cLet\u2019s try to tackle this again tomorrow. Hoss, my pants are on the chair by my bed; would you toss \u2019em down here? I don\u2019t want to go clumping up there in my boots.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatcha need your pants for? You\u2019re goin\u2019 to bed, ain\u2019tcha?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to sleep in the barn. Lady was worried about me, and I don\u2019t want to leave her right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll sleep out there too,\u201d Joe declared. \u201cI don\u2019t like some of the stuff that was said to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019ll sleep there with ya,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cThe more bodies in there, the warmer it\u2019ll be.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

The next morning Ben overslept; for a minute he couldn\u2019t believe it. Daylight was streaming through the window. Cold and pale daylight it was, but it was daylight all the same.<\/p>\n

There was no noise from downstairs to tell him breakfast was on the table, no noise from the boys\u2019 rooms to tell him they had simply overslept as well. He went looking. Every bedroom door was wide-open, every bed unmade and slept-in. There were no boots and no coats to be found. He wouldn\u2019t have believed they would sneak away like so many cowards. No, there had to be some explanation, just as there had to be a rebuttal for the stories about this girl\u2026and by Jehoshaphat, he was not above shouting until he found both.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing came in with the coffeepot and four mugs. \u201cGood morning, Mister Cart\u2026wwwrrright. I wish you welcome home. Your absence was verrrry missed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben stared at him for a minute, his ire momentarily appeased, and he grinned involuntarily. \u201cThanks, Hop Sing. I hope you mean my presence<\/em> was missed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Confusion passed across the man\u2019s brow. \u201cAbsence\u2026not here. Presence\u2026here. Yes, right. Your presence was missed. Verrrrry sorrrry.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a minute Ben wanted to ask who he\u2019d been studying with, but if town gossip was true, he didn\u2019t want to know. \u201cWhere are the boys?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey still sleep. Verrrry tired. Cold, too. When it is cold to sleep, makes\u2014no, it<\/em> makes\u2014a man colder.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just checked their rooms. They\u2019re not there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing shook his head. \u201cThey sleep in barn with Lady\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

A sharp intake of breath. \u201cWhat lady?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDog, Mr. Cartwright. She is doing chores now, but they still sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked at him with raised brows. \u201cThe dog is doing chores. And the boys\u2026are asleep. In the barn?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVerrry tired, Mr. Cartwright. Yesterday bad day. All hurting. Want coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy were they hurting?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing shrugged. \u201cMany kinds of pain. Mr. Adam has back and leg. Little Joe have colllllllar bone. Hoss still singed and tired from when he give his blood away. Also have heart pain, all three. They miss teacher. Hoss took back to town yesterday. We was\u2026were\u2026most sad to see her go. Whole house sad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe schoolteacher\u2026\u201d Ben rumbled. That was the only part of Hop Sing\u2019s soliloquy that made any sense. With an effort, he kept his voice level. \u201cHow long was she here?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing smiled. \u201cShe here\u2014she was <\/em>here\u2014very much while you was\u2026no, were<\/em>\u2026gone. Make big difference in everybody. Much laughter, much play. Daytime, nighttime. All boys love her. Hop\u2014no\u2026I <\/em>have much appreciation for her too. She make me speak English much more better.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s voice came out colder than he meant it to, but the anger was getting harder to control. \u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n

He spun on his heel and stamped out to the barn. If Hop Sing was telling the truth about the girl\u2026and he had no reason to lie\u2026those boys were going to be re-filling outhouses at every house in Virginia City by the time Ben Cartwright got done with them. And he was certainly telling the truth about the boys and the dog (what an ugly dog!); it was carrying a bucket toward the house, and all three of his boys were spooned together in the haystack.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, everybody UP!\u201d Ben bellowed. Across the yard, Lady saw the intruder yelling at her adored master and the other pack members, and she dropped the bucket with a snarl, galloping to their aid. Ben saw her coming at him with her hackles raised and big fangs bared; he remembered just how close to his throat she\u2019d gotten the previous night, and pulled his gun straightway. But before he could fire it, Adam had plowed into him with a loud cry, knocking him over backwards. The gun went off, blowing a hole through the tarpaulin and falling into Mr. Blue\u2019s muck\u2014and Adam suddenly yowled as his back went out again.<\/p>\n

The day went downhill from there.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, God\u2026get the dog,\u201d Adam gasped, and Joe and Hoss grabbed Lady before Ben could find another weapon. Hoss carried her away and took her to Hop Sing, who quickly hid her in his room with the door locked. Joe helped Ben get up, and they both went to see to Adam, who was by now practically insensate, curled in a ball rocking from side to side and panting for air.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with him?\u201d Ben asked sharply.<\/p>\n

Joe put a soothing hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder. \u201cAdam, hang on a minute, just ride it out. That\u2019s right, try and relax\u2014you know it\u2019ll go away on its own if you just let go\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with him?\u201d Ben repeated.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s that old back injury from falling off the roof. It\u2019s flared up a couple times lately, and he ain\u2019t recovered yet from the last time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, let\u2019s get him up and inside,\u201d Ben said. \u201cAt least he\u2019ll be warm.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou try to move him right now and it\u2019ll just hurt him worse. The spasm has to finish first.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m all right,\u201d Adam whispered tightly, holding his breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo you\u2019re not,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cYou\u2019re lookin\u2019 like birch bark again. Just wait a few minutes and relax.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam rolled onto his hands and knees, and, leaning heavily on Joe, got to his feet. Ben came to the other side and started to put his arm around Adam\u2019s waist, but the look in Adam\u2019s eyes stopped him.<\/p>\n

Back on the trail all those ages ago, when Adam was a small boy, there had been no time for soothing and comforting every child\u2019s skinned knees or scraped and splintered hands. And in those days Ben had done what he could, but when the injuries came at an inconvenient time Ben would just chuck him under the chin and say, \u201cbear up, son. You don\u2019t want people to think you\u2019re a mama\u2019s boy, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t touch me,\u201d Adam whispered. \u201cAnd if any harm comes to that dog, you\u2019ll find out whether I\u2019m a mama\u2019s boy or not.\u201d He straightened, and shook off Little Joe. Limping, he went back to the house, where Hoss grabbed him and helped him to the stairs.<\/p>\n

For a minute Joe looked after him, and then he turned to face his father with a face so full of hurt and fury that Ben almost took a step backward.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Joe said, \u201cI don\u2019t know who you\u2019ve been talking to in town, or what\u2019s been said. But I think you\u2019d get a damn site more accomplished if you listened to your own sons.\u201d With that he walked away.<\/p>\n

Ben looked to the heavens and wondered how a day could look so normal and feel so wrong.<\/p>\n

In the kitchen Hop Sing had burst into a long stream of Cantonese and was now pouring oats into a pot.<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, I\u2019d like some fried eggs,\u201d Ben announced as he came back in.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou get oatmeal! Everybody get oatmeal!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? Look, I\u2019ll put an extra dollar in your pay if\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI put an extra dollar in your hat if can find one egg not broke! Why you not listen to me? Did not I tell you, dog is doing chores?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean, dog gets eggs each morning. Today you scare her, she drop bucket, no eggs! Oatmeal in one hour, that\u2019s it!\u201d<\/p>\n

That dog was from hell; he was certain of it.<\/p>\n

He heard an approaching buggy then, and went out to the yard to see Paul Martin driving up. Martin pulled his mare to a halt and clambered out, extending a hand to Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cThought I was seeing things when I spied you in my waiting room yesterday,\u201d Martin said as they shook hands. \u201cI\u2019ll bet you\u2019re glad to be home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben just grinned weakly, but Martin went on. \u201cI just came by to make sure my three most frequent patients are all doing better. I\u2019ll tell you, Ben, I must have spent more time the last few months on those boys of yours than any other family in a year. Heads bashed in, gunshot wounds, broken bones, burns, smoke inhalation, back injuries, leg injuries\u2014even the dog was shot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPaul, I\u2019d like it if you could tell me how some of these injuries came about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, the usual way, I guess. Joe got shot, Adam busted his head during the fire, Hoss got burned besides the other thing, and everybody breathed way too much smoke. Poor Adam\u2019s not getting any younger and that back problem of his is flaring up a lot\u2026I need to start checking on everybody\u2014can\u2019t stay long, I\u2019ve got a baby due at the Logans\u2019\u2014fortunately it\u2019s a first, so I\u2019m hoping to have a little time. Tell me, how long did your trip take?\u201d He walked off toward the house without waiting for Ben, who quickly strode off after him.<\/p>\n

\u201cBy the way, Ben,\u201d Paul said, \u201cAbout that incident with Little Joe and Hoss\u2026it was Adam\u2019s idea, not mine. I wasn\u2019t too sure about it at all; I frankly was thinking I\u2019d be telling you that you\u2019d lost both boys instead of one\u2026I\u2019m pleased it worked out the way it did, but I sure hope I never have to do it again. Although knowing your family, if I do<\/em> have to do it again, it\u2019ll probably be right here, so I thought I\u2019d let you know I\u2019ve been digging up as much literature on the subject as I can find.\u201d<\/p>\n

The only thing Ben could think of as they opened the door was, everyone I talk to might as well be speaking Chinese for as much as I understand them<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Adam?\u201d Ben asked Joe as they came in.<\/p>\n

Joe clenched his fists. \u201cHoss had to carry him up to his room. His back\u2019s getting worse, not better.\u201d<\/p>\n

Martin raised an eyebrow and trudged up the stairs. Ben started to follow him, but Joe grabbed his arm. \u201cI think we\u2019d better stay here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s my son up there, young man!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou coulda fooled me,\u201d Joe replied. He stared at his father with eyes like gaping wounds. \u201cYou\u2019ve been home twelve hours and you\u2019ve been talking to all of us like dogs the whole time\u2014oh, except you don\u2019t talk to dogs; you shoot \u2019em. Pa, you left for a long time and we\u2019ve dealt with it the best we could. Maybe everything we\u2019ve done hasn\u2019t been right, but we tried. I\u2019d think at least we rate a fair trial.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s been no trial!\u201d Ben shouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Joe mumbled. \u201cIf it was a trial we might be found innocent.\u201d<\/p>\n

He pushed past his father and went upstairs, where Adam was grasping at Hoss\u2019s arm as Martin examined Adam\u2019s back.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe never got the letter,\u201d Adam was saying urgently. \u201cHe doesn\u2019t know. He doesn\u2019t know anything, oh my God, Hoss, he doesn\u2019t know anything. You have to tell him\u2014owww, dammit\u2014Paul, you murdering quack! What was in that needle? Hoss, you have to tell Pa about the letter, and everything that\u2026ohhhh\u2026Paul, that better not be morph\u2026\u201d His voice faded away.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that\u2019ll relax him, anyway.\u201d Paul put the needle back in its carrying case. \u201cMaybe if he stays off that leg a couple of days it\u2019ll have time to heal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what you said last time!\u201d Hoss protested. \u201cAnd all he did was walk around usin\u2019 a cane until the pain got too bad for him to walk on anymore!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but he fought it. He won\u2019t fight it this time,\u201d Paul said with a grin. \u201cThat injection should keep him out until tomorrow morning, and I\u2019ll come and give him another if he still insists on moving around.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul gave Hoss a quick and cursory examination; Little Joe\u2019s was only slightly more thorough. \u201cWell, the scar hardly shows,\u201d he muttered. \u201cAnd I have to say I like that European sling. I think I\u2019ll steal the design and modify it. How much motion do you have, Joe?\u201d Joe moved his arm in a hesitant three-quarter circle. \u201cGood. Downright great for six weeks. I may let you out of it at eight instead of twelve; we\u2019ll see. I need to go now\u2026it\u2019s another baby day!\u201d<\/p>\n

As Joe and Hoss put their shirts back on, Hoss said to Little Joe, \u201cDid you hear any of what Adam said?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly something about Pa not knowing anything. What did it mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam wrote Pa one last letter. Tilly and I helped him write it. He told Pa about the fire, and you gettin\u2019 shot, and he told him all about Lady and her living in the house. I read the part Tilly wrote,\u201d he confessed, blushing. \u201cFelt like I had to on account of what Adam made me write about her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam told Pa he wants to marry her, Joe. Please don\u2019t tell Adam I done told you. He didn\u2019t want nobody to know\u2014includin\u2019 Tilly\u2014until he got Pa\u2019s blessing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam wants to marry Tilly?\u201d Joe laughed out loud. \u201cWell, why not? She\u2019s the only one who even speaks his language. But Hoss, Pa does<\/em> know\u2014about Lady, anyway. I told him in my own letter. I also told him about Tilly helping to nurse us. So he ought to know those two things at least\u2014instead of listening to the town bunch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut we need to talk to Pa\u2014maybe he misunderstood your letter or maybe he didn\u2019t get it either.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m done talking for now, Hoss. You heard what he accused me of last night. Not to say it ain\u2019t been true at one time or another, but never with nobody in our house!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said a lot of things last night, but I\u2019m sure he didn\u2019t mean \u2019em. He was just tired.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah? A little while ago he looked at me in the barn like I was a polecat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI cain\u2019t believe that, Little Brother. We all know you\u2019re still the baby as far as Pa\u2019s concerned. There ain\u2019t no way he could stay mad at you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, some of the things he\u2019s said were not things you\u2019d say to a baby, in case you didn\u2019t notice, Hoss. And I\u2019m sick of begging. You talk to him if you like\u2014you\u2019re about the only one he doesn\u2019t seem ready to lynch.\u201d<\/p>\n

But Hoss had no more luck with his father than Joe or Adam. He found Ben looking through the cabinets and muttering about his best whisky couldn\u2019t \u201cjust disappear,\u201d which put the fear of God into Hoss worse than a dozen Sunday sermons ever could.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, Pa, forget about the whisky. I think there\u2019s some things need explainin\u2019 here and I\u2019m here to explain\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben eyed him. \u201cGood. Maybe you can start by explaining to me just whom you were kissing on the doorstep at Widow Hawkins\u2019 place yesterday morning.\u201d And Hoss lost any composure he\u2019d ever had.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think the morphine is working,\u201d Ben observed beside Adam\u2019s bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s workin\u2019 all right,\u201d Hoss said dourly. \u201cAdam ain\u2019t never liked morphine. Said it gives him nightmares.\u201d<\/p>\n

A strange sort of quasi-truce had been tacitly declared\u2014there would be no more shouting until all three boys were capable of arguing. But it was not peace, by any means. Nothing had been resolved. Ben spoke to Hoss and Joe in terse politeness, and they responded likewise\u2026if there was no other choice. Otherwise they stayed well away from him and didn\u2019t talk at all.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho is Lily, anyway, and why does Adam keep calling her? Is that the name of this schoolteacher you\u2019re all keeping company with?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss glared at Ben and did not reply, but Ben saw the way Hoss\u2019s huge hands tightened on his knees at the question, and he saw the fire in his big son\u2019s eyes. Ben hadn\u2019t seen a look like that since the night Hoss had beat Adam half to death over Regan Miller\u2026and so he didn\u2019t ask any more questions.<\/p>\n

When Mutton Jim came in that afternoon with the mail, he brought a letter. But not the letter Adam and Hoss would have hoped. It was addressed to \u201cOwner, Ponderosa Ranch. General Delivery, Virginia City, Nevada.\u201d And upon reading it, Ben Cartwright was convinced that at least half his worries were over.<\/p>\n

Dear Sir:<\/em><\/p>\n

My name is Blake Weston, and I am a resident of Reno. Last week I had occasion to come into Virginia City on a matter of personal business. On the way out of town, I happened to pick up an old copy of the Territorial Enterprise on the stagecoach floor, and upon scanning it an advertisement caught my eye. I am enclosing the advert with this letter.<\/em><\/p>\n

I believe the collie dog referenced herein may be mine. To briefly describe the dog, she is a Scotch collie, blue merle\u2014you might refer to her as silver or gray\u2014in coloring, with black speckles on her face. Both her eyes are blue. She has tan underpinnings and a little bit of tan about the face; all four legs are white, as is the tip of her tail. She may perhaps remember her name, as she is rather intelligent for a dog: her transfer papers declare her to be Gray Lily of the Westons, but we simply called her Lily.<\/em><\/p>\n

You may wonder why it took so long for me to look for her here. There are two reasons\u2014chiefly, I thought she was dead. She was being shipped to me from New Jersey. She traveled by boat around the Cape, and was sent by train from San Francisco. She is no ordinary dog; I had intended her as foundation stock for the Weston Kennel of Scotch collies. However, her train derailed at Luther Pass. My kennel master visited the accident site and saw the slats from her crate at the bottom of a ravine, giving him every cause to think she could not have survived. The second reason, Luther Pass being some 75 miles from Virginia City, I have no idea how she could have ended up there. <\/em><\/p>\n

If you still have her, and agree that the dog is mine, I will make arrangements to visit your ranch and pick her up. You will of course be reimbursed for any reasonable expenses you have gone to on behalf of my Lily.<\/em><\/p>\n

Please contact me as soon as possible.<\/em><\/p>\n

Your servant,<\/em><\/p>\n

Blake Weston<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter 16<\/strong><\/p>\n

The nightmares were awful, but waking was worse.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d only had morphine a couple of times, but it invariably gave Adam nightmares. They ranged from the stupid kind that were not scary but still made no sense, to the truly horrible ones that left him nauseous and terrified.<\/p>\n

He was riding up to a castle.<\/em> He was wearing armor and riding a white horse. When the drawbridge dropped and he rode across, his horse suddenly turned red and fell dead under him. He found himself fighting a dragon then\u2014one with long, gray fur. Then he was fighting a knight in black armor, but the Black Knight turned out to be Blake Weston.\u00a0 There was a damsel in distress that he was supposed to rescue, but when he found her it was only Tilly, and she didn\u2019t want to be rescued. She was wearing nothing but huge orange flowers. His father was King Arthur, but after Knight-Adam vanquished the dragon, his father only said \u201cyour armor is tarnished.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Then he was back at college and in botany class. He was reciting a long string of Latin names: Lilium columbianum, Lilium rubescens, Lilium martimum, Lilium pardalinum, Lilium canadense, Lilium superbum, Lilium bulbiferum<\/span>\u2026the lilies went on forever. And then Jesus was there in the middle of the botany class, saying \u201cbehold the lilies of the field\u2026\u201d and then Lady burst into the classroom, galloping across the flowers, flattening them\u2014and his father was chasing after her.<\/em><\/p>\n

The scene shifted again, and Adam was in the barn, freezing cold, but instead of a haystack he was sleeping in a huge pile of lilies. They were all cold and dead. And Lady was there, but then she wasn\u2019t, and when he got up to call her she wouldn\u2019t come back. She kept trotting off toward the south pasture, and he followed her on Beauty, knowing he was killing his horse, knowing he was hurting himself\u2026and not able to stop. The south pasture was covered with bear traps and lilies. Fire lilies, mostly. And there was Tilly in the midst of them, dancing with a horrible red-headed kid. It was Dex. Lady ran up to Tilly, and suddenly Lady grew three feet taller. Tilly sprang up on her back then, and nudged her with her heels. They galloped away with Dex shooting at them. He and Beauty sped after them\u2014and his father, riding a bear, was chasing everybody. He heard a metallic clank, and Lady and Tilly both disappeared from view, but he could hear an unearthly howling from the dog. Again and again she howled\u2026another metallic clank followed, and Beauty, screaming as no horse was meant to scream\u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n

Two days of this<\/em>, Ben thought, sitting by the bedside of the son he was angriest at. Two days of no explanations from anyone; Joe\u2019s avoiding me completely, and Hoss is barely opening his mouth. Two days of Adam crying out for \u201cLily;\u201d I wonder how he knew the dog\u2019s name<\/em>.<\/p>\n

But at least, for the moment, Adam was quiet. Ben risked a glance. Adam was awake, looking at him with the incurious calm of the very tired and ill. \u201cHow\u2019re you feeling, son?\u201d Ben asked in what he hoped was a kindly tone.<\/p>\n

Finally, Adam spoke\u2014his voice hoarse and slurred. \u201cPlease, Pa\u2026I want my dog. She makes me feel better just bein\u2019 here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot right now, Adam,\u201d Ben replied, and looked away. He didn\u2019t say, \u201cNever again,\u201d but Adam must have heard it. He shifted uneasily. \u201cWhat day is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Friday afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? It was Wednesday\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen the doc put you under, it was Wednesday morning,\u201d Ben said. \u201cHe felt\u2014and we agreed\u2014that your body would mend itself better if you just kept still and rested. You came around briefly yesterday morning and wanted to get up, so he injected you again. This morning you got a smaller injection, but Paul said you should under no circumstances get up before Sunday. I hope you\u2019ll listen to that advice.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked at Hoss, his sense of unease growing. Hoss had his hat on his lap and was absentmindedly plucking at it, fraying the brim unmercifully. Hoss loved that hat.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss,\u201d Adam said quietly, \u201ctell me where Lady is.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s big fingers moved faster on the hat brim, picking at it, turning it around in his hands, but his eyes would not meet Adam\u2019s. \u201cWell Adam\u2026it\u2019s just that\u2026remember that ad you put in the paper about Lady?\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh, no\u2026no\u2026<\/em>Adam\u2019s sharp intake of breath surprised even himself. \u201cSomeone answered the ad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026but he seemed like a nice feller, Adam, and he was real concerned about her. Turns out her real name is Lily.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh Jesus, no!\u201d Adam cried and before his father could yell at him for cursing, he saw the horror in Adam\u2019s eyes and realized it was a prayer. \u201cNot him. Not Blake Weston!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou knew?\u201d Ben exploded, hating himself as he did. \u201cYou knew he was her owner, and you didn\u2019t give her back? He told me she was worth $3,000\u2014before all those injuries\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh God\u2026\u201d Adam rolled over and forced himself into a sitting position. \u201cOh dear heavens\u2026Hoss, did she put up a fuss, or did I dream all that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked at the floor. \u201cI\u2019m the one that done it, Adam. I\u2019m sorry. She didn\u2019t want to go, but I called her and put her in the crate, and she went. But when the wagon pulled away, well, she started barkin\u2019 and she started howlin\u2019 and\u2014oh, Adam, it was my fault. She musta been howlin\u2019 for miles.\u201d<\/p>\n

The room whirled and his father pushed him back down, but Adam knocked the hands away and stood up. \u201cWhen?\u201d He tore off the nightshirt and confusedly put on the hay-covered, sweat-stained shirt and pants he\u2019d collapsed in two days before.<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout two hours ago,\u201d Ben said in befuddlement, again trying to push Adam down. \u201cDon\u2019t put those on\u2014they\u2019re dirty. You need to lie down, Adam\u2014the man\u2019s probably in Virginia City by now. He said he wanted to visit someone before leaving town again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo doubt! He wants to gloat,\u201d Adam said, his eyes smoldering with murderous rage. He squirmed away from his father\u2019s grip. \u201cI hope she\u2019s got every skillet in the Widow\u2019s kitchen ready for him too, that no-good boy-touching bastard!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, what\u2019re you talking about?\u201d Hoss demanded.<\/p>\n

Grunting, Adam pulled on his boots. \u201cWeston. He\u2019s Tilly\u2019s uncle. The one who breeds collies. I didn\u2019t know it before I met him, but I wondered after if Lady was the \u2018dead\u2019 collie he was talking about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Adam, he seemed real concerned about her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was concerned about the cash she represented,\u201d Adam snapped, jumping up again and swaying dizzily. His head was pounding. \u201cHe already collected more than he paid for her in insurance, so what claim he has on her now I don\u2019t know\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s the dog\u2019s legal owner!\u201d Ben snapped. \u201cWhy on God\u2019s earth any dog would be worth $3,000 is beyond me, but she still belongs to him. He showed me the papers!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid he show you the insurance check too? The man\u2019s a fraud, a thief, and a liar and he tried to force himself on Tilly\u2019s little brothers when they were too small to fight back. Given that kind of treatment to humans, what kind of dog owner do you think he is?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kind of nonsense has that mad schoolteacher told you? Don\u2019t be ridiculous. They\u2019re gone now, and it\u2019s all legal, and you get back in that bed or I\u2019ll\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll what<\/em>?\u201d Adam exploded. \u201cWhat can you do to me now? Call me another name? Blame me for something else? Remember, Pa, I\u2019m<\/em> the one who spent all your money! I\u2019m the one who burned down your ranch! The one who destroyed your damn trees!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben caught the edge of the chair he was standing next to, feeling as if he\u2019d been hit in the gut. \u201cThat was one rumor I couldn\u2019t bring myself to believe\u2026until now<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cYou didn’t even let me say goodbye to her. You must hate the hell outta me.\u201d He spun around and headed out of his room and down the stairs, with Hoss and Ben on his heels.<\/p>\n

\u201cI never<\/em> said I didn\u2019t love you, Adam!\u201d Ben grabbed Adam\u2019s arm as they reached the bottom of the stairs, and Adam\u2019s rage fueled a move his strength would not have otherwise permitted: he flung his father across the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I don\u2019t have your trust, I don\u2019t want <\/em>your love.\u201d Then he grabbed his hat and jacket and was gone. Hoss helped Ben to his feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat hold does that\u2026that dog<\/em>\u2026have on him?\u201d Ben asked in utter confusion.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026\u201d Hoss swallowed. \u201cI reckon she\u2019s got the same hold on him that she\u2019s got on me, and Joe, and Hop Sing. And I don\u2019t apologize for none of it, because she\u2019s worth it. You asked me how a dog can be worth $3,000, I\u2019m here to tell you that dog is worth ten times that. I\u2019m goin\u2019 after Adam now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe, who was angrily chopping wood in the yard, saw Adam, looking like the fourth day of a three-day drinking binge, storm over to the barn. Presently he saw Adam come out again, leading a rambunctious, but saddled and bridled, Sport. \u201cHey, where do you think you\u2019re goin\u2019, all crippled up still?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter Lady. Pa just sent her off with a no-account like you never saw.\u201d Without further ado Adam hauled himself into the saddle and walloped Sport with the reins. Sport tossed his head and tore out of the yard, leaving Joe with only one thought\u2014\u201cI better go pick up the pieces.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss blasted out of the house like a cannon, joining Joe on the way to the barn. \u201cAdam\u2019s gone off his rocker, Little Joe. He come outta one a\u2019 them morphine dreams and he\u2019s been ravin\u2019 ever since.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know he hates that stuff,\u201d Joe said. \u201cHe says it gets into his head in a weird way. Whenever I have it I feel good. Funny, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot this time. He\u2019s plumb distraught. Thought he was gonna really hurt Pa for a minute. Yellin\u2019 about how Pa hates him and stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy\u2019d he say that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOn account of Lady.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, he\u2019s got a reason there,\u201d Joe snapped. \u201cThat was a dirty trick, and I didn\u2019t like that guy. Way too snake-oil smooth. Hoss, we should\u2019ve hidden her. I can\u2019t believe you just handed her over like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind that. Adam\u2019s gone off and didn\u2019t even think to take his gun belt. He\u2019s sick, and he\u2019s headin\u2019 for trouble, and I\u2019m worried what he might find.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Tilly and Weston had not had a talk, but they had \u201chad words.\u201d When the Widow Hawkins told her she had a visitor\u2014and who that visitor was\u2014Tilly had refused to meet him in the sitting room and had gone into the kitchen instead. Looking out the window she saw the wagon with Lady in a crate, and knew instantly what had happened and why Weston was there. She picked up a cast-iron skillet and went to meet him.<\/p>\n

\u201cLily,\u201d he said reproachfully, and it set the dog to howling.<\/p>\n

\u201cDouble jeopardy, isn\u2019t it?\u201d Tilly retorted, hefting the skillet. \u201cWhat are you going to tell the insurance company? And are you going to return the check? I\u2019d love to see the day you ever do something honest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHah. Do you see a dog here that looks even vaguely like one of mine? The tragedy, my dear niece, is not of my making\u2014the people who had this dog cut its tail off and shaved half its side. The fur on that side is ruined, the tail is ruined\u2014and she was supposed to have been one of my flagships, Tilly, you know that! Look at her now; never a chance of impressing a soul. That leaves only one use for her, but at least they didn\u2019t ruin her for that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly knew exactly what he meant. Back in Savannah Blake had had two kennels. The first, the one for his \u201cflagship\u201d dogs\u2014the ones he showed to potential buyers\u2014was large and roomy and well kept. The dogs in it never got any attention or affection, except perhaps from the kennel master, but at least they were well-fed and groomed. The ones who had problems that kept them from being flagships\u2014lameness, or scars\u2014were \u201cproducers,\u201d kept in the second kennel and used strictly for breeding. The second kennel was a disgusting undersized place, seldom cleaned, and the dogs ignored in their tiny runs, but visitors never saw or smelled it. Tilly had come across the second kennel once by accident, when they were drowning the \u201csurplus\u201d puppies, the ones who would never find homes. She had had nightmares about it for weeks.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou do remember, Lily Tilly, that these dogs are investments?\u201d Weston looked at her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI remember. So this dog\u2014as good and smart as any of your flagship dogs\u2014is going to become a factory for producing puppies. That\u2019s all you think she\u2019s good for.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis particular dog cost me $3,000, and another $1,500 to get her here from Scotland to Bayonne and from Bayonne to San Francisco. The insurance check was only $2,500, which didn\u2019t even cover all my expenses. I have to get my money back somehow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you sell her to the Cartwrights? They would have paid that much, I\u2019m certain.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI waited for them to make an offer, but the old man seemed anxious to be rid of\u2014how did you know my dog was at the Cartwrights\u2019, dear niece?\u201d He was looking at her with sudden interest.<\/p>\n

\u201cI knew they had a collie. I didn\u2019t know it was yours. But I recognize her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wonder, would you have told them, had you known?\u201d<\/p>\n

She was spared having to answer by a bellowed, \u201cWESTON!\u201d and Adam was galloping up. He looked terrible, and she couldn\u2019t imagine what had happened to him, or for that matter, why he had let Lady go in the first place.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, it\u2019s your gentleman friend from last week.\u201d Weston\u2019s interest increased. \u201cThe very rude fellow who wouldn\u2019t even speak to me. Why is he here? Does he have a magnet to detect whenever I am near you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s the dog\u2019s real<\/em> owner, Blake. He would have asked you about her last week, but I stopped him.\u201d She grabbed her uncle\u2019s arm. \u201cIt was my fault. Don\u2019t take it out on him. Please, Blake, I never begged you before\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Lady\u2019s joyful barking split the town wide open as Adam yanked Sport to a halt and jumped down.<\/p>\n

\u201cWeston,\u201d Adam said. \u201cMy father was out of line. He should have asked if the dog was for sale. I\u2019d very much like to buy her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Weston crossed his arms. \u201cYour, ah, face is vaguely familiar, sir. I seem to recall it from last week, only then you were clean-shaven, if silent and ominous. Today you look like some trail boy, or whatever the term is. Last week you wouldn\u2019t even speak to me, and now you\u2019re ordering me about. I don\u2019t do business with men I haven\u2019t been introduced to. So who might you be?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam Cartwright, of the Ponderosa ranch. Ben Cartwright, the man you spoke to earlier, is my father.\u201d Apparently determined to be diplomatic, Adam hesitated a minute and then went on, \u201cI apologize for my appearance and my tone of voice. I\u2019ve been sick in bed the last two days. I just found out about Lady\u2026Lily. I\u2019m the one who found the dog and placed the ad. But to tell you the truth, the dog and I are downright fond of each other, and I also use her as a working cattle dog. I\u2019m prepared to pay you well, if you\u2019ll consider selling her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, she was going to be one of my flagship dogs,\u201d Weston said meditatively. \u201cYou\u2019ve ruined her appearance. Her tail, and that long scar on her side with the fur growing back a different color\u2026.ugh.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHer tail was crushed before I found her. It never would have healed, and it probably would have gotten gangrene and killed her. Amputation was the only option. And the scar on her side was from the night some thieves attacked our ranch. I couldn\u2019t stop it. But since she\u2019s \u2018ruined\u2019 as far as being one of your flagship dogs, I hope you\u2019ll sell her to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust because she doesn\u2019t look right doesn\u2019t mean she\u2019s of no value to me, Mr. Cartwright. I can make far more money off her as a producer of champion puppies than you could pay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPossibly, if collies were a well-known breed,\u201d Adam said. \u201cI don\u2019t know how long you\u2019ve been in the West, but new things take a while to be accepted here. In that area I could be helpful to you if I kept Lady\u2014Lily. I could provide prospective customers, or demonstrate the dog\u2019s herding abilities.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see,\u201d Blake said with a peculiar smile, one that made Tilly bite her lip and clutch the skillet in her hand. \u201cAnd how much are you willing to offer, Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFive thousand dollars,\u201d Adam said without hesitation.<\/p>\n

She could see that her uncle was impressed, and hoped in spite of herself that he would take it. But then he glanced at her, and she knew what she had already suspected.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a most generous offer. I\u2019m humbled that you think so highly of my Lily. But as much as you regard her, I assure you I regard her even more. I couldn\u2019t think of parting with her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes you could,\u201d Tilly said quickly. \u201cYou owe me $5,000. I could take you to court for it and show mother\u2019s letter. I\u2019ll take the dog in lieu of your debt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019ll still pay you $5,000,\u201d Adam added.<\/p>\n

For a minute, Blake Weston almost wavered. But then he smiled and shook his head. \u201cNo court would accept that letter, Lily-Tilly. I didn\u2019t sign it promising to pay. Your mother said I promised to pay. That\u2019s hearsay evidence and can\u2019t be used against me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou worthless, skunk-spawned\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam put a hand on her arm. \u201cI\u2019ll pay you $10,000, myself, Weston. All you have to do is wait until the bank opens tomorrow. You can stay in the International House and I\u2019ll pay your bill.\u201d<\/p>\n

Weston grinned. \u201cYou don\u2019t understand, Mr. Cartwright. We of the South consider this a point of honor. I cannot possibly do business of any kind with you, because you were rude and mean to me last week. Gentlemen do not operate that way.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was in Tilly\u2019s head to tell him how gentlemen such as himself operated, right in the middle of the street in front of all the passersby. But it would only have made her look worse, not him. She settled for drawing back the skillet. And then Adam had her arm and wouldn\u2019t let go.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you should ever change your mind,\u201d he said very softly to Weston, as if he was not the only thing keeping Tilly from killing him, \u201cMy offer stands.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow kind,\u201d Weston replied. \u201cNo. But perhaps I\u2019ll give you a discount on one of her puppies.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t just replace one dog with another, Weston. Not if the dog means something.\u201d<\/p>\n

Weston only smiled, and got in the wagon. As Weston situated himself, Adam walked to the wagon and put his hand to the wooden slats of the crate, and Lady looked through and licked his fingers\u2014and then Weston drove off. Tilly shouted \u201cabusananos<\/em>!\u201d and from there burst into a long spate of other curses, only half of which Adam understood. He barely heard them anyway; in the wagon, Lady was scratching at the door of the crate, whining, barking, and finally howling again, a hollow, unearthly sound that made the wolf and coyote calls he\u2019d heard all his life sound familiar and comforting.<\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss galloped up then, but one look at Adam told them there was no use. And so Blake Weston departed, and Gray Lily of the Westons went with him.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Little Joe had done all the mathematical calculations, and it all came down to one thing: what all three Cartwright boys needed was to let off a little steam. With the exception of a few dances back in the fall, and a few\u2014very few\u2014beers with lunch, there just hadn\u2019t been any time for fun. Unless of course he counted the one night he and Hoss and Lady got just a little drunk, the night of Lady\u2019s \u201csurgery.\u201d And he didn\u2019t count that because it had been strictly medicinal.<\/p>\n

He had been telling Hoss that all the way into town\u2014and reminding Hoss that Adam probably needed it even worse, because he was the one with the biggest cloud over his head at the moment, and because Adam let off steam even less often than his brothers. Being a Cartwright meant all things in moderation, and self-control came first\u2014Pa had said so many times over the years\u2014but Joe\u2019s philosophy was that sometimes it was self-control that needed to be practiced in moderation. And from the look on Adam\u2019s face as Blake Weston and his Lily departed Virginia City, today was definitely that day.<\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss dismounted and came up to stand on either side of their brother. \u201cSorry, Adam,\u201d Hoss said. Adam looked at him, and then at Joe, as if he wondered who they were, and then, with a tight-throated swallow, he shook his head. \u201cYou did the best you could, Hoss. I\u2019m sure Weston will treat her well\u2014she\u2019s valuable property after all. Don\u2019t worry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the spirit,\u201d Joe agreed, while privately seeing a lot<\/em> of drinking in Adam\u2019s future, because when he lied like that, the only cure was a large quantity of alcohol.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d Adam said, a little hoarsely. He looked over at Hoss. \u201cCome on, Hoss, forget about it. It\u2019s a dog. That\u2019s all\u2026just a dog\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Hoss whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere you go,\u201d said the voice of false cheer, Little Joe. \u201cAdam, why don\u2019t you come down to the ole Bucket<\/em> with us and we\u2019ll put the first round on me. Pa\u2019s already mad at us, so if we get drunk and raise a little Cain tonight it shouldn\u2019t make much difference.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot just yet,\u201d Adam replied, studying the ground. \u201cI\u2019d like to talk to Tilly for a little while. Who knows, we may yet find something to celebrate.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe exchanged a glance. After all this time, now Adam seemed ready to take the plunge. Only now, they were pretty sure, was not a good time, and they wondered why their cool, thoughtful brother didn\u2019t realize this.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Well, he didn\u2019t have Pa\u2019s blessing, but then, as things stood, he wasn\u2019t likely to ever get it, either. He\u2019d lost just about everything he\u2019d ever cared about\u2014but he still had Tilly. Adam turned to her. \u201cI appreciate your trying.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFat lot of good it did.\u201d She turned and walked back into the house; Adam rushed to open the door for her, but she didn\u2019t seem to notice. He followed her to the kitchen, where the dropped the skillet and looked up at him. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Adam. I\u2019m sorry I didn\u2019t kill him when I had the chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if you had killed him in Savannah all those years ago, I never would have known Lady\u2014or you\u2014at all,\u201d Adam pointed out. \u201cAnd that would have been the real<\/em> loss. Tilly, can I talk to you, seriously?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly laughed a little. \u201cI don\u2019t know why not. We\u2019ve talked about nearly everything under the sun, serious or not. Of course, you usually\u2014not always, but usually\u2014bothered to clean up and shave first.\u201d<\/p>\n

He shook his head. \u201cI wasn\u2019t lying to your uncle. I\u2019m sorry about the way I look, but I\u2019ve spent the last two days under morphine, having nightmares like nobody\u2019s business. Waking up was only another nightmare.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy back again,\u201d he said impatiently. \u201cAnd it hurts worse now than it did when Paul knocked me out. Tilly, my Pa came home unexpectedly Tuesday night, and I\u2019ll tell you, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. It hasn\u2019t been a happy homecoming.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026\u201d Tilly looked up at him in sudden realization. \u201cIs your father around your height, but bigger built, with gray hair and dark eyes? Large nose\u2026powerful voice?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s him,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cAnd he\u2019s been using that voice to great advantage ever since he got home, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, my\u2026\u201d Tilly saw it all, and put a hand to her forehead. \u201cOh, Adam\u2026I think I\u2019m the one who put him in that mood. He came over to the school that night, wanting to rent Thunder from me. I didn\u2019t know who he was and\u2026well, we had words.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grinned. \u201cDoes that mean you threw a skillet at him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt means I threw two skillets at him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that\u2019s dandy,\u201d he said. \u201cThe last few days we could\u2019ve all got together and had a skillet war. I would have been throwing as many skillets at him as you. But, Tilly, that\u2019s not what I want to talk about\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

And then Adam stopped dead. For weeks now, he had intended to do this\u2026but while most people were certain that he had planned out every detail of his life, including his own potty training, he suddenly realized he had never planned out a marriage proposal. Well\u2026he\u2019d wing it. \u201cTilly, do you still think you\u2019ll never get married? I remember saying that myself a few weeks ago, but I don\u2019t feel that way anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked at him, nonplused. \u201cI haven\u2019t given it any thought. Do you feel well, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been wanting to ask you something for a while. What\u2019s that Spanish saying\u2014son u\u00f1a y carne<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey are the fingernail and finger,\u201d Tilly translated. \u201cYes, that\u2019s it. It means inseparable<\/em>. You\u2019re describing you and Lady.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026haven\u2019t you ever thought that way about us? Tilly, I have. SOMOS u\u00f1a y carne<\/em>. WE are inseparable. It makes sense.\u201d<\/p>\n

The look she gave him was a bit suspicious, as if she wondered if maybe the morphine hadn\u2019t worn off. \u201cAdam, you don\u2019t look well; you\u2019re not acting well, and you definitely don\u2019t smell good. I think you should go home\u2026convey my apologies to your father, if you would. I\u2019ll see you at church Sunday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Tilly, don\u2019t you see?\u201d He grabbed her hand and continued quickly. \u201cI want to marry you. I know I\u2019m not saying it very well. But that doesn\u2019t make it any less true, it\u2019s just that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

There, there, he\u2019d done it! She had tears in her eyes. Women always got tears in their eyes when a proposal got to them. Then they could kiss, and hopefully she\u2019d forgive his bad breath, and he\u2019d tell her about the house in the canyon and how she could still be a teacher as far as he was concerned and\u2014<\/p>\n

She jerked her hand free of his and in the process backhanded him across the face\u2026which, he was pretty sure, was not what was supposed to happen. Even Laura had never done that. And as he stared dumbly at Tilly, she swallowed. \u201cAdam\u2026you told my uncle that you can\u2019t replace one dog with another. Please take your own advice\u2026and go home. And\u2026I think it\u2019s best we don\u2019t see each other anymore.\u201d With that she ran from the room.<\/p>\n

Chapter 17<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe commandeered a corner table and a bottle of 160-proof whisky. (Hoss wanted something stronger, but Joe was worried that Hoss might still be too \u201cpuny\u201d for such nourishment.) They reserved an empty glass for their brother, having a feeling he\u2019d need it. They were not disappointed.<\/p>\n

Adam limped in, his slightly dazed expression even more telltale than the red blotch on his cheek. He joined his brothers at the table. Joe slid him the bottle and glass without comment; Hoss was not so wise. \u201cGuess it didn\u2019t turn out quite like you planned.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam gave him a silent look that spoke volumes, then tossed the glass into the nearby fireplace and confiscated the bottle. He took a long swig while Joe went for another bottle, then smacked his lips and sighed. \u201cShe gets a lot of credit for originality, Hoss,\u201d he said. \u201cShe said no because she thinks I don\u2019t know the difference between her and Lady. But I know the difference. Lady would never have turned on me like that. Lady forgave me. She loved me even as I let Weston take her away.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s heart dropped into his boots, and it showed on his face. \u201cIt wasn\u2019t like that, Adam. Tilly just didn\u2019t know you cared. You keep a pretty good poker face. It wouldn\u2019t\u2019a hurt you none to tell her you loved her every now and then. Or even to tell her one single time. But\u2026she is like Lady. She\u2019ll forgive you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh,\u201d Adam huffed, and kept drinking. And drinking.<\/p>\n

Joe returned to the table with another bottle. \u201cThere oughtta be something we can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Even if he hadn\u2019t named the subject, Adam knew what he meant. \u201cName something.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026we could give him a few miles and then hold him up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, \u2019cause he\u2019d never recognize the three of us. And the Ponderosa\u2019s the last place he\u2019d look. And Pa would be only too glad to help us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about somethin\u2019 legal?\u201d Hoss suggested. \u201cYou said it was insurance fraud.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, I know deep down he\u2019ll never give the insurance money back. But that\u2019s not something I can prove, especially not now. He could always say he had every intention of returning the money after he got home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen we wait a couple of weeks!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have no way of knowing,\u201d Adam shrugged. \u201cHe might surprise me and do it, just so I\u2019ll be wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026\u201d Hoss thought some more. \u201cIf he\u2019s as bad a man as you say\u2026I don\u2019t think he\u2019ll be very nice to his dogs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t I say that?\u201d Adam pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026ain\u2019t that against the law?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you kidding? In civilized countries, sure. England has laws against cruelty to animals. We don\u2019t. We barely have laws against cruelty to people. No. Lady is property, and can be treated any way Blake Weston wants to treat her, and if he wants to keep her pregnant and producing champion puppies the rest of her life, that\u2019s his decision to make.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not fair,\u201d Joe muttered. \u201cThere\u2019s got to be something\u2026maybe Roy\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hardly think Roy can get an arrest warrant because Blake Weston is a disgusting individual who refuses to sell us his dog. Just drop it, and get another bottle.\u201d He snorted. \u201cGet three<\/em> more bottles.\u201d<\/p>\n

The night passed. The following day\u2019s sun rose and set. And the long-overdue springtime binge (albeit about two months early) continued. Hoss joined a poker game. Joe found a pretty red-haired saloon girl that he decided to spend some time with. And Adam sat at that same table and kept drinking. Slowly. Deliberately. Inexorably.<\/p>\n

The Saturday night girls came on duty at around four p.m., and Adam was still firmly affixed to that chair; having added a deck of cards to his whisky bottle, he was playing solitaire with great determination. And the girls couldn\u2019t help but be curious. After all, Adam Cartwright\u2019s gossip was known well enough, but there were so many versions of each story, and so little of the real man was known, that it was impossible not to be curious.<\/p>\n

One thing that was very well known was that it was very seldom that Adam was ever lured \u201cupstairs.\u201d Maybe once every seven years, said one legend. But that would make it a couple of years early, since it was widely rumored that he had gone upstairs with not one, but two girls over at a place called Bella\u2019s out in the middle of nowhere a few years ago. How on earth the girls had managed that, no one ever knew, but it made the man\u2014even as dirty as he was\u2014quite a challenge. A guy who was a challenge was motivation in himself. But a rich guy. A guy who needed a bath, which cost extra. A guy who cleaned up to be pretty good-looking. Even better.<\/p>\n

Adam knew they were orbiting him. He was used to women looking. It was annoying, but better, he supposed, than being ignored or ridiculed. But he wasn\u2019t blind drunk; when he drank he liked to do it very slowly. And getting drunk also always made him a more uncomfortably intellectual. And few enough people appreciated his intellectual bent even when he was sober.<\/p>\n

He beckoned one girl over.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll give you five dollars,\u201d he said conspiratorially, \u201cIf you can tell me who Persephone<\/em> was.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho? I don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talkin\u2019 about, Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, remember the old adage, knowledge is power<\/em>. Knowledge is money, too. You just lost your shot.\u201d<\/p>\n

The girl muttered something insulting that only made him smile. And he kept drinking.<\/p>\n

By now Joe had returned from wherever he\u2019d been, and he grabbed another bottle and a glass and sauntered over to Adam, sitting down without an invitation. \u201cAin\u2019t you had enough yet?\u201d he asked with a grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t you<\/em>?\u201d Adam replied foggily.<\/p>\n

\u201cI took a break. Now I\u2019m back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCheer up.\u201d It sounded more like \u201cshirrup.\u201d \u201cMaybe I\u2019ll \u2018take a break\u2019 too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, and if that happens, I\u2019ll have to go run outside and look up at the moon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe laughed. \u201cTo see if it\u2019s blue. What you really need is to get yourself a bath and a shave, and go mend things with Pa so it\u2019ll be safe for Hoss and me to go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe? I may need the bath and the shave.\u201d Adam shook his head fuzzily. \u201cBut mending things with Pa\u2019s not\u2026something I have an int\u2019rest in anymore. I believed in Pa. I always\u2014\u201d he shook a finger at Joe\u2014\u201cALWAYS believed in Pa. Even when I shouldn\u2019t\u2019ve.\u00a0 Even when I knew he was wrong. Like with that sheep fella, that Jeb Drummond\u2026or when I held off a posse so he could fix things with Katherine Saunders\u2019s boy\u2026lotta help that was\u2026but, Joe, I even told Pa to go ahead and court a married woman\u2014remember Joyce \u2019n \u2019Tom? Dammit, Joe\u2026Pa shoulda believed in me. Even without that letter, he should have given me at leash enough ben\u2019fit of the doubt to lemme tell my side of the story. He owed me an\u2019 he didn\u2019 pay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was just upset,\u201d Joe said. \u201cEventually he\u2019ll think things through and realize he was disregarding his own advice\u2014listening to gossip, not giving us a chance to explain. He\u2019ll come through as soon as he cools down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh? Tell me you weren\u2019t mad as hell when he was talkin\u2019 to you, accusin\u2019 you of stuff you hadn\u2019 done, Kid. Tell me you were thinkin\u2019 he\u2019ll be okay once he thinks things through<\/em>. I wanna know why we always have to trust him<\/em>, and give him<\/em> the benefit of the doubt, and it doesn\u2019t work both ways.\u201d Adam smiled. \u201cWell, it ain\u2019t gonna go on. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consh\u2019lation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.<\/em> Thomas\u2026Paine said that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t he the new blacksmith?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo; thass Thomas Crane.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t think that had anything to do with horses.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cForget horses. Thomas Paine was one of the fellas who started the \u2019Merrikan Revolution. Well, I\u2019m starting one of my own. I\u2019m declaring myself independent from Pa. I\u2019m pushin\u2019 40, Joe. Issa \u2019bout time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ain\u2019t even 35. And maybe you still can fix this,\u201d Joe encouraged, choosing to ignore the slurry speech.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou din\u2019t listen to me. I don\u2019t wanna\u2026anymore. I\u2019m too old to stand around with my hands in my pockets and my eyes glued to the ground sayin\u2019 yes Pa<\/em> and no Pa<\/em> to everything he says. This is Pa\u2019s mess. He\u2019s\u2026\u201d He hiccupped. \u201cHe\u2019s the one who came home in a bad mood, and without waiting to find out from us wha\u2019 happened, he pronounced judgment, found ME guilty, an\u2019 deported my dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked at the table. \u201cAnd because I happened to propose to my girl right after I lost my dog, I then lost my girl. You know why? Because I think she thinks I think she\u2019s a bitch, but not the right bitch.\u201d His eyes, unfocused, watery, slid back to Joe\u2019s. \u201cTilly told me, you know\u2026she said her father went off his head. But she unnerstood that. She said, \u2018how much can a man lose before he goes off the edge?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou haven\u2019t lost anywhere near as much as Tilly\u2019s father,\u201d Joe said. \u201cLet\u2019s be realistic, as you like to tell me all the time. The thing with Tilly is sad. But you never had Tilly in the first place, and you can\u2019t lose what you\u2019ve never had. Don\u2019t go making excuses.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled, but it looked more like a grimace. \u201cI lost my childhood. Lost three mothers. Lost Rebecca, Regina, Ruth\u2014poor Ruth. The Ponderosa. I lost Beauty. And I lost my father\u2019s trust. And then<\/em>, oh by the way, I lost my dog and my girl. Appropriate, I guess. I found Lady and right after that I found Tilly. I lost Lady and right after that I lost Tilly. You know something, Jos\u2019ph? Seems to me that the quickest way to lose something is to care about it. Especially if your name\u2019s Cartwright. I reckon that entitles me to a little self-pity.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another girl came up just then, and Joe couldn\u2019t help but look questioningly at her. She didn\u2019t look right\u2014she looked way too uncorrupted to be a saloon girl, with her cherubic expression, innocent blue eyes, and curly dark brown hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright,\u201d she said timidly to Adam, \u201cPersephone was the Greek goddess of the Seasons, and of the Underworld.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked at her with interest. \u201cYou are absolutely right, my dear. Here\u2019s your money; you earned it fair and square. Wanna drink?\u201d<\/p>\n

She sat down with a nervous smile. \u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019d you pick up your outta-the-way knowledge?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCatholic girls\u2019 school, believe it or not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d believe it. What else d\u2019you know about Persephone?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, she was kidnapped by Hades and taken to the Underworld\u2026Hermes rescued her and she came back, but not before Hades tricked her into eating four pomegranate seeds, and so she had to go back to the Underworld for four months out of every year\u2026and that\u2019s where winter comes from.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is delightful to come across a lady of intellectual pursuits,\u201d Adam declared, and Joe pretended not to notice that it sounded more like \u201cinnellecshul purshootsh.\u201d He wondered if maybe he should go over and see if the International House had any available rooms, since obviously none of them would be going home tonight. He remembered they had church in the morning, and wondered just how much more trouble the three of them could get into with Pa. Hoss was still deep into his poker game and appeared to be winning\u2014now that was unusual indeed. Well, maybe as long as they made church nothing more would be said.<\/p>\n

He turned around to look at Adam and the girl again, and realized he must have missed something. The girl had blushed appealingly and was saying, \u201cHow you do talk, Mr. Cartwright\u2014I\u2019d have to pay YOU for that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFlora,\u201d Adam said in that husky voice he used sometimes when he wanted to get a girl\u2019s attention, \u201cyou wouldn\u2019t have to pay me one thin dime.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyebrows shot into his hairline as Adam stood\u2014a little wobbly but apparently otherwise fine\u2014and put an arm around Flora.<\/p>\n

\u201cSee ya tomorrow, Younger Brother,\u201d Adam announced. \u201cI am going to take a bath with little Flora, here. You know her name means \u2018flowers.\u2019 So I\u2019m gonna get prettied up and make myself smell like flowers. Don\u2019t wait up; I\u2019m paying for the night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you can\u2019t. Pa\u2019s gonna be coming into town early in the morning for church. You can\u2019t be here then\u2026well, he\u2019d know<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam just smiled. \u201cWouldn\u2019 be doin\u2019 ennathing that I haven\u2019t already been blamed for by ever\u2019body in town. Includin\u2019 Pa. And if I\u2019m gonna get blamed for it anyway, I don\u2019t see any need to deprive myself of the cuppalibitty\u2026cuplabillytude\u2026dammit\u2026fun.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Ben had hoped against hope that the boys would come home Friday night; a part of him even hoped they would bring the dog along. He could never have imagined Adam getting so upset about a dog, but then, when he stopped and really thought about it, he knew there was more going on than the dog. He had, in spite of his best intentions, allowed the town gossip to get to him, and he had flown off the handle and started leveling accusations at everyone without giving anyone a chance to explain. And he couldn\u2019t help but wonder now if maybe all the gossip had been without foundation; Joe and Hoss had been merely confused by his slander of them<\/em>, but outraged by his slander of the notorious Tilly. Hoss and Joe didn\u2019t seem to think they had burned the ranch down or started a stampede, and he had never believed to start with that Hoss and Joe had shot each other. And Adam\u2026who knew. He had said, clear as daylight, \u201cI burned down your ranch.\u201d Maybe he he\u2019d been serious; or maybe he\u2019d been sarcastic. It was often impossible to tell.<\/p>\n

Well, it wasn\u2019t the first time they\u2019d all gone to town, stayed for a couple of days, and raised a little Cain. They\u2019d still be in church tomorrow, as would he. And they\u2019d go home as a family, and he would sit down with them and this time he\u2019d keep calm and listen.<\/p>\n

He never considered the possibility that part of his family was no longer interested in talking.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

A hesitant Joe and even more nervous Hoss went to the door they\u2019d been referred to on Sunday morning, and knocked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Joe called out softly.<\/p>\n

Flora came to the door and smiled. \u201cHe\u2019s asleep. What can I do for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Miss,\u201d Hoss said with his eyes glued to the floor, \u201cOur Pa\u2019s down at the International House and wantin\u2019 us to all have breakfast together before church, and we thought Adam might best come with us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe told me he didn\u2019t want to go anywhere,\u201d she whispered. \u201cNot even church.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss, I don\u2019t think you understand,\u201d Hoss said with a swallow. \u201cThis is our Pa we\u2019re talkin\u2019 about. \u2018No\u2019 is not an answer he takes real easy, especially from any of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Flora shook her head; this situation had not been covered in her instructions.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay,\u201d Joe said, handing her a $5 gold piece. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you go get yourself some breakfast, and we\u2019ll handle this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Flora left quickly, and Hoss turned to Joe. \u201cAdam\u2019s gonna be mad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s been mad about somethin\u2019 or other most of his life,\u201d Joe replied. He opened the door and went in to find Adam completely buried in the bedclothes. Joe grinned and slid into the bed next to his brother. He tapped lightly on what he presumed to be a shoulder, and, raising his voice to a convincing falsetto, said, \u201cAdam honey, oh Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn a little while,\u201d Adam mumbled.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam! Sweety-pie! Oh, Adam, mah darlin\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n

That was when Adam\u2019s head finally appeared. \u201cYou are utterly contemptible,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you are utterly hung over,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cC\u2019mon, we gotta go eat breakfast with Pa before church.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d Apparently he had bathed\u2014and shaved\u2014but Flora must not have had any \u201cbear grease\u201d for his hair; curls were hanging in a million question marks all over his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cC\u2019mon, Adam. Pa\u2019s wavin\u2019 the white flag. He found out we were in town all weekend and didn\u2019t even get mad. He just said he\u2019s willing to listen if we want to talk.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that so,\u201d Adam said. \u201cDid he know where I was?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot exactly,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cWe had a room at the International House, and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you tell him where I am, and if he wants to talk to me he can come meet me on my own ground.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, Pa\u2019s givin\u2019 us another chance,\u201d Hoss put in. \u201cWe\u2019d be silly not to take it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sat up then, and the look he shot Hoss sliced clear through him. \u201cAnother<\/em> chance? Are those his words, or yours?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHis!\u201d Hoss replied proudly, unable to understand why this was not a good thing.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnother<\/em> chance,\u201d Adam almost spat. \u201cAll right, fine. I\u2019ve got clean clothes in my saddlebag. I won\u2019t meet him for breakfast, but I\u2019ll be at church. I\u2019ve always wanted to go directly to church from…another chance.<\/em> How wonderfully forgiving<\/em> of our father. Excuse me for being a bad son, but don\u2019t you need at least one chance to start with before being given another<\/em> chance?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe, standing up, looked worriedly at Adam. He had thought the same thing at first, but filial loyalty had won out. Now he was remembering all the unjust accusations, and how his father was now willing to \u201cforgive\u201d him for things he hadn\u2019t done. Adam looked defiantly at him, and Joe lowered his eyes, unwilling to meet his brother\u2019s steady gaze.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Tilly was in church, and ready to throw about twenty skillets at Adam Cartwright. The news of where he had spent the night was all over Virginia City. Of all things; he had proposed to HER, and then gone right off to some floozy. But then, maybe the gossip wasn\u2019t true. It usually wasn\u2019t, as she had reason to know. She\u2019d spent a lot of time thinking since her first meeting with Ben Cartwright and realized that most likely, Ben had arrived in such high dudgeon that night because he had been listening to gossip about her. It didn\u2019t raise him in her estimation, but it at least provided a reason.<\/p>\n

She wondered, for just a minute, if Adam\u2019s proposal to her had been serious. Of course not. Rich landowners didn\u2019t propose to the daughters of bankrupt merchants. And he\u2019d never once told her he loved her\u2014even when he proposed\u2014never once looked at her in that special way Bensabat used to or even so much as held out his elbow for her to put her hand through like Harold. How could a man love somebody and never do anything at all to let it show? She huffed, and that made every person in the first three rows turn to stare at her in disapproval.<\/p>\n

Little Joe and Hoss came in, and Tilly gasped to see Ben Cartwright with them. She\u2019d already known, but it was still a shock to see them together, and she blushed. Hoss waved at her and Joe grinned; neither noticed the dark glare this brought to their father\u2019s face. And then Adam came in. Well, he\u2019d certainly managed to clean himself up for somebody<\/em>, although his head looked like it was full of angry rattlesnakes. The wild curls were even more unruly than Joe\u2019s, and his attempts to water them down had only made them curlier. He wasn\u2019t in his Sunday best, either, but in clean black canvas work trousers and a dark red shirt\u2026the color of an angry sunset\u2026and she swallowed hard and looked at him, but he didn\u2019t seem to realize she was in the room. All his attention was on his father, and that was when she saw the resemblance. Physically, it was not a terribly strong resemblance. But in mannerism, and stance, and attitude, they were identical.<\/p>\n

She remembered a story Hop Sing had told her once. She had been trying to explain to him the concept of \u201ccontradictory.\u201d He had smiled, finally, and said, \u201cYes, I see. We have a story in my country. A salesman tries to sell a warrior a spear and shield. The salesman says \u2018this shield can stop any spear, so you can never be hurt!\u2019 and the warrior is most impressed. And the salesman says \u2018and this spear can penetrate every shield, so you can kill all your enemies!\u2019 and again the warrior is impressed. And then the warrior thinks for a long moment. And he asks the salesman, \u2018what would happen if this spear is thrown at this shield?\u2019 And the salesman could not answer.\u201d<\/p>\n

She was looking at the shield and the spear, the immovable object and the irresistible force. And the irresistible force, in his dark red shirt, apparently was still at odds with the immovable object. Something big was about to happen\u2026and Little Joe and Hoss, it seemed, were thinking of joining their brother in the planned mutiny.<\/p>\n

The preacher was on fire this morning. Well, it was the second Sunday of the year; apparently he liked to get the New Year off to a powerful start. Last week\u2019s subject had been chastity and purity. Her first reaction was to wish that Adam had paid a little more attention. Her second was to remember some of the titters and glances that had been shot in her direction that day.<\/p>\n

But this week, at least, was not a subject they could pin on her, although she thought Adam would probably benefit in listening.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy drinkin\u2019 days,\u201d the preacher proclaimed, \u201cstill bring shame to me. I know I have been forgiven, but alas! I blame most of the evils we face on alcohol. It is the devil\u2019s juice and no good can come of it!\u201d<\/p>\n

A weak \u201camen\u201d sounded from somewhere in the congregation, and the preacher went on, \u201cImagine how much sin we could blot from us if we could but get rid of alcohol! My brothers and sisters, if only I could, I would take every ounce of beer ever brewed, and I would throw it all in the river!\u201d<\/p>\n

Another weak \u201camen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy brothers and sisters, if only I could, I would take every ounce of wine ever squeezed, and I would throw it all in the river!\u201d<\/p>\n

A woman in the back feebly said \u201cglory!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd most of all, my brothers and sisters, if only I could, I would take every drop of whisky ever distilled, and I would throw it ALL in the river!\u201d He turned to the choir leader. \u201cAnd now, let us sing our closing hymn!\u201d<\/p>\n

The choir leader mumbled, \u201cSir, maybe we should\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust sing it!\u201d the preacher muttered, and pointed at the #175 printed on the small slate by the altar.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease stand as we sing,\u201d the choir leader said weakly, \u201cShall We Gather at the River.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright was the first one on his feet. \u201cAMEN!\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe glanced at his father and jumped up behind Adam. \u201cGLORY!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stood. \u201cHallelujah!\u201d And every miner, cowboy, and saloon manager joined in the chorus.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe you did that!\u201d Ben bellowed, standing by his horse. \u201cIf you wanted to publicly defy me, why didn\u2019t you just not come here in the first place? What is this supposed to mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s it supposed to mean?\u201d Adam repeated, standing just inches from his father and yelling back just as loud. \u201cI\u2019ll tell you what it means. It means I\u2019m nearly 35 years old with a college education and I\u2019m sick and tired of being treated like a four-year-old child who doesn\u2019t have sense enough to find the outhouse. Our father, who art on the Ponderosa, Cartwright be thy name!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou stop that sacrilege! You\u2019ve already shamed me throughout the entire state of Nevada! You could at least show a little respect in church! Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Ephesians 6:1, in case you forgot!\u201d Ben thundered.<\/p>\n

Adam smirked. \u201cBetter to rule in hell than serve in heaven. Milton, Paradise Lost<\/em>, Book 1, Line 263. In case you<\/em> forgot.\u201d He slapped Buck, Ben\u2019s dun gelding, on the flank. \u201cWhy, look, Pa; old Buck here is a gelding. And it doesn\u2019t only happen to horses\u2014but you know what? I\u2019ve just barely still got mine, but I intend to keep them!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen take them with you and go someplace else,\u201d Ben said. \u201cWhen you live in my house under my roof, you live under my rules.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe roof I built? The house I designed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFeel free to leave.\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was covered in ice.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for your permission, but I don\u2019t need it,\u201d Adam returned, equally cold. \u201cJoe\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Little Joe said, looking nauseous. \u201cGo ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Hoss said faintly, holding out a wad of bills, \u201cYou might need this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour poker winnings?\u201d Adam smiled as their father glared at Hoss. \u201cYou\u2019re a good man, Hoss. No, why don\u2019t you use them to buy a couple of trees. You know how Pa loves<\/em> those little saplings, the ones that bend over backwards with every strong wind.\u201d<\/p>\n

He mounted Sport, and the energetic chestnut reared and came down running. Joe and Hoss looked miserably after him, and then turned back to their father.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

As he galloped along, Adam fought back a desire to cry like a child, but another part of him had never felt so free. All he had to do was last until the spring thaw. And Little Joe just had provided him the means to do just that.<\/p>\n

He remembered back all those years ago when Joe had been a kid\u2014a real kid, probably not yet 18. But a kid who knew his heart all those years ago just as well as he did today, Adam thought. The girl he had determined to marry that particular month was no great beauty, but she was good-hearted and sweet-natured, and had the singular virtue of having loved Joe for many, many years. Better still, she had the other extraordinary virtue of dying while Joe was still infatuated with her, which made her one of \u201cthe great loves of his life,\u201d and Joe was prone to advertising and bemoaning this on occasion if he got drunk enough.<\/p>\n

But that one love affair boasted a singular accomplishment: it had given Joe a house, something neither of the other Cartwright boys had ever managed. Pa had never thought it necessary to provide any of them with land until such time as he thought they would have their own wives and, one would suppose, their own seeds to sow. Hoss now had an empty spot by Rocking Chair Butte; Adam had a little canyon place that at one time had almost <\/em>had a house, and Joe had a sweet little lover\u2019s cabin in a field of snow stars. Adam had nicknamed the acreage Edelweiss, after a white snow flower he\u2019d read about that grew in the Alps. It turned out that the real edelweiss flowers looked nothing like the Nevada snow stars, but the name had stuck. It was not far from the lake, and was near a heavy wood full of rabbits and deer. And during their time in town, Adam had idly suggested Edelweiss would make a great haven if they really got kicked out. After the church incident, Joe had hesitated; Hoss had downright chickened out. But Adam knew better than to think he could return home.<\/p>\n

He certainly had nothing to keep him here. He\u2019d wanted to leave for years, and now, somehow, by doing the very duty he was accused of shirking, he had achieved his father\u2019s willingness to let him go. He almost sighed in relief. He loved his father deeply but sometimes he thought it was like being in an avalanche and loving the very rock that crushed you. He could have stayed\u2026Tilly could have kept him here gladly; even Lady, since big hairy dogs generally weren\u2019t welcome in houses, hotels, and passenger ships. Even the innovations he had planned for the ranch could have kept him\u2014for a while. But there was no point, now.<\/p>\n

The little cabin was covered in snow on the outside and cobwebs on the inside, but otherwise in good repair. He and Hoss had tossed a bunch of sheets over the furniture after the girl\u2019s death, and put some extra tar on the roof and sides to keep the rain and snow out. Tomorrow when the bank and stores were opened he\u2019d venture into town, take a little money from his own account, and buy some supplies. He couldn\u2019t get to San Francisco before spring. But come the thaw, he\u2019d be gone.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

On Monday, Ben requisitioned Little Joe and rode into town, where he talked with his many business associates. \u201cAdam has fallen by the wayside,\u201d he told them gently. \u201cHe needs a little shepherding to be brought back into the fold. It would be of tremendous help to me if you could help him see the need to return to his family.\u201d And with only one notable exception, they met with great success.<\/p>\n

When Adam got to town, there wasn\u2019t a store in town that would do business with him. Even Flora would not buy groceries for him. Pa had been thorough, Adam thought in admiring anger. Pa wanted him to come home, but he didn\u2019t want to come and get him. He wanted Adam to return with his tail tucked in. That <\/em>would not happen.<\/p>\n

He thought a while. Roy was not a possibility; he had been Ben\u2019s friend before he was ever Adam\u2019s. Cass seemed to be hiding amusement behind the embarrassment. Beth Cameron, the widow who still kept her husband\u2019s store years after his shooting by Farmer Perkins, had never liked Adam anyway. But there was one person left in Virginia City who would be pretty tough to charm or intimidate. Of course, she\u2019d also said she didn\u2019t want to see Adam again, either. Well, he\u2019d chance it. He hung around town, sitting in the Sazarac and nursing one beer until it was time for school to be over.<\/p>\n

When he saw a couple of kids running up the street, he took his chance and trotted Sport down to the schoolhouse. Tilly was inside, mopping the floors\u2014one of the less glamorous aspects of the job. He went to the doorway and knocked. \u201cHi, Tilly\u2014no skillets, please. It\u2019s Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

She put the mop in the bucket and just looked at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI, um, don\u2019t suppose my father\u2019s been around to see you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe has,\u201d she replied slowly. \u201cHe brought Little Joe with him. I told him Hoss would\u2019ve made a better shield if he thought I was gonna start chuckin\u2019 cookware.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid he, ah, tell you about the\u2026tensions in the family?\u201d<\/p>\n

She just sighed. \u201cWhat do you want, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

He sighed, too. \u201cGroceries. My father\u2019s made it impossible to do business with any of the local merchants.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you need someone to get them for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes; I thought he would have told you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, he came in makin\u2019 those big brown eyes of his like a hound dog. I tried to apologize to him for the skillet incident and he just said it coulda happened to anybody. And that\u2019s when I knew he was after something from me. Then he gave me some guff about you needing to return to the fold, and what-not. So I told him if all the stuff I\u2019d heard about him from his sons was true, he oughtta let you make your own decision about whether, and when, to go home, and I wasn\u2019t going to be part of anything.\u201d She chuckled. \u201cAnd then Little Joe leaned over and said, \u2018I told you so, Pa,\u2019 and your Pa just about took his head off. But I made my message plain enough. I never cared for bullies, even when they dress it up pretty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI, ah, thank you for that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get whatever you want, Adam. Just make a list.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, I\u2014well, thanks. Look, Tilly, I know I\u2019ve brought a lot of trouble on you. I want to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere won\u2019t be any more trouble.\u201d She snickered. \u201cI\u2019ve lost my job.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? Why?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it seems the good citizens of Virginia City can\u2019t have a jailbird and a trollop like me teaching their children. Being a saloon girl would be a step UP from my current social standing. The School Board called an emergency meeting last night, to which neither you nor I was invited. They voted 3-0 with one abstention to annul my contract. They\u2019ll let me stay until the end of the term, simply because they don\u2019t have a substitute since you\u2019re out of the business. I\u2019ve started sending out letters already, but frankly, if word of my time here gets out, I believe my teaching career is over.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam clenched his jaw; suddenly the grocery problem seemed rather small. \u201cWho was the abstention?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve heard it was your father. Said he didn\u2019t know the situation well enough to participate. I figure he probably knows as much as any of the gossips, but\u2026well, what the heck.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry. Seems like your association with my family has been one long tragedy, and the Cartwright curse is still firmly in place.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCurses, shmerces. I wouldn\u2019t change a minute of my time with your family. Well, except maybe those few minutes with your pa last week\u2026and what happened with you and me.\u201d She leaned over to wring out the mop. \u201cWrite down what you need. I\u2019ll have it waiting here tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHush. Just write your list and go.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chapter 18<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tuesday morning before dawn Ben awakened Hoss. \u201cI want you to take me out and show me all these \u2018improvements\u2019 Adam was making\u2014and I want to see the fire damage.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gloomily, Hoss saddled the horses.<\/p>\n

The first place they rode to was the windmill site in the north section.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re not finished,\u201d Ben observed.<\/p>\n

\u201cNope,\u201d Hoss agreed. \u201cI figger about 90%. That night was when the fire started, so we didn\u2019t get back up here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTake them down.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked at his father. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want them there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u201cPa, it would take longer than it\u2019s worth. They\u2019re nearly done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was a foolish idea from the start\u2014this land won\u2019t grow decent quality grass.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe already planted wildrye up here, Pa! Come spring we\u2019re gonna need water somethin\u2019 desperate, and the windmills are the only way to get it. Adam\u2019s thinkin\u2019 was to put more cows up here, but now with half the south pasture destroyed, we\u2019ll need this section just to make up for what was lost.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss\u2026are you questioning me?\u201d<\/p>\n

The hesitation was only momentary. \u201cYessir, I am. Even if yer all steamed up at Adam don\u2019t mean all his ideas were bad \u2019uns. We talked about all this long an\u2019 hard before doin\u2019 it, and the reasoning is sound.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben hauled on the reins and Buck, his mouth open in pain and annoyance, wheeled about and took off at a lope. He had little to say for most of the rest of the tour. He let Hoss explain everything and listened without comment, biting his lip and wondering why he\u2019d never had these ideas himself, why Adam hadn\u2019t mentioned them before\u2026or wondering if he had, but Ben hadn\u2019t listened\u2026<\/p>\n

Seeing the south pasture fire in daylight was a nightmare.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow could this happen?\u201d he demanded, his voice hoarse. \u201cI know it had to have been an accident, but\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt weren\u2019t no accident,\u201d Hoss replied shortly. \u201cIt was as deliberate as I ever seen. It was a kerosene fire, Pa\u2014there was more smoke than flame, made it dang near impossible to see to fight\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was still talking about the fire when Ben rode away. He didn\u2019t want to hear any more\u2014this was ridiculous.<\/p>\n

Adam had confessed to burning the ranch, but\u2026there was no way he could have done it deliberately.<\/p>\n

Nothing made sense.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Tilly had everything he wanted waiting when he came the next day, but the look on her face when she saw him was sheer disbelief. \u201cAdam, you idiot, where is your coat?\u201d<\/p>\n

The simple truth was that he had somehow forgotten it and hadn\u2019t realized until he was halfway into town. But he grinned. \u201cIt\u2019s not that cold out. Besides, I\u2019m hot-blooded.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wrong joke to make. \u201cSo I\u2019ve heard. Get your stuff and get out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, I\u2019m sorry, I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust scat, before I remember those six frying pans I keep under my desk for boys<\/em> that make trouble.\u201d She turned and went back to her work, and he rode back to the little cabin.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe came out to Edelweiss the next day, having sneaked Les Mis\u00e9rables<\/em> out of the house for him, along with a clandestinely prepared meal from Hop Sing (Adam was renowned for many things, but cooking was not one of them). They apologized for backing down, but that was easy enough to forgive; he had never expected them to follow through. After all\u2026Pa still trusted them; it was himself Pa was blaming for everything, and he was the one with nothing to lose.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got nothing to lose anyway,\u201d Joe said. \u201cPa\u2019s let everything go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen did this happen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTuesday night, when he and Hoss came back from lookin\u2019 at all the ranch.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked at Hoss, who shrugged. \u201cI dunno, Adam. All of a sudden he didn\u2019t wanna see no more, didn\u2019t wanna talk no more. Said he didn\u2019t feel good. \u00a0When we got home, he said we weren\u2019t gonna give you no more trouble\u2026and he didn\u2019t expect to talk about it anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that good or bad?\u201d Adam wondered.<\/p>\n

Little Joe shrugged. \u201cWell, he won\u2019t block your store access.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked long and hard at the two. \u201cThere\u2019s something you\u2019re trying real hard not to tell me. Out with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

A shaky sigh from Hoss. \u201cHe took your name off the bank accounts.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid he happen to notice the $30,000 that wasn\u2019t there when he left?\u201d Adam asked with outward calm. \u201cI would think that made up for any bad bookkeeping of mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked at the floor. \u201cUm\u2026Adam, you deposited that money into your own account, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

For a moment Adam just stood there, clenching his fist so hard that his nails dug into his palms and made them bleed. Then he nodded. \u201cI\u2019d forgotten. I don\u2019t suppose he\u2019d believe me if I told him why, either.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa said\u2026he said if you had just asked, he would have mortgaged the whole ranch for you. But you didn\u2019t ask.\u201d Joe sighed explosively. \u201cHonest, Adam, I tried to tell him about the interest, but\u2026he doesn\u2019t want to talk about you anymore.\u201d He didn\u2019t tell him the rest of what their father had said: \u201cit hurts too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know,\u201d Adam said softly, \u201cI\u2019m used to Pa losing his temper and flinging accusations around. Only, there used to be a time when he was just as compassionate as he was temperamental, and as interested in justice as he was in vengeance. There was a time when he\u2019d blow up and then it would be over and we could talk it out. I never thought this could happen\u2026or if it did<\/em> happen, I\u2019d never recover. But I\u2019m a little older now. And I\u2019m more like Pa than he knows. Okay, he\u2019s opted not to forgive me for whatever it is that he thinks I did. The joke is\u2026I don\u2019t care. I can live without him. And even if he came out here right now with his arms wide open, I don\u2019t think I could ever forgive him.\u201d<\/p>\n

The horror in Hoss\u2019s voice made it tremble. \u201cAdam, you can\u2019t mean that\u2026he\u2019s our Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI could forgive him, even though he\u2019s wrong,\u201d Joe said quietly. \u201cAnd I have. We didn\u2019t react very well either, you know\u2014yelling back at him and getting stubborn and refusing to talk at all. I didn\u2019t see it when I was doing it, but I see it now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam laughed shortly. \u201cYou get mad even faster than he does. What I\u2019ve never understood is that you forgive a lot faster and easier than he ever did or than I ever could.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s because, if forgiveness doesn\u2019t happen fast and easy, it ain\u2019t forgiveness at all,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2014that\u2019s why we call you the baby.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d Joe said. \u201cBut I\u2019m still right. I only hope to God you can figure it out someday, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean, I<\/em> should forgive Pa<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s exactly what I mean,\u201d Joe offered. \u201cThink about it for a little while, at least. We\u2019ve pushed him into a corner as much as he\u2019s pushed us into one. The question I\u2019ve been asking myself is, \u2018if I died right now would I want this to be my family\u2019s last memory of me?\u2019 I wouldn\u2019t want you all at my grave thinking how I\u2019d gone to my death mad at you. Would you?\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

He went into town twice more the next week. He remembered the coat once. Once he went to the bank for a complete listing of his accounts\u2014he had three different ones, and he wanted to be sure how much money he was working with, as well as attempting to pay his father whatever he had used from the ranch account for his improvements and make arrangements for the $30,000 plus interest to be directly transferred to the Ponderosa account as soon as the six-month hold period was up.<\/p>\n

And the second time\u2026<\/p>\n

Tilly was in a cleaning frenzy. Since the day she had kicked Adam out of the school she had been sweeping, mopping and dusting the place twice a day. Today little Anthony Holcomb had told her she\u2019d turned into a meanie, and then thrown up right in front of her. And no matter how many times she scrubbed it, that spot on the floor wouldn\u2019t seem to go away. She was down on the floor scrubbing it again and muttering \u201cOut, out, damned spot\u2026\u201d when she saw Adam standing silently in the doorway.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d she asked coldly when he walked into the schoolroom without knocking. \u201cPantry need re-stocking again?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI had an idea,\u201d he replied. \u201cI was hoping to help you save your job.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re presuming I want it saved. I told you before that I was only here because of my mother. I don\u2019t see anything holding me here now. I\u2019m not interested in your idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

That stopped him in his tracks. For a moment he stood silent, seemingly uncertain what to do. Then he shrugged. \u201cAll right,\u201d he returned gently, and started to go.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne question,\u201d she said, so abruptly that even she was surprised by it. She got up, leaving the scrub brush and soapy wet spot, and faced him squarely, her cheeks flaming. \u201cI swore I\u2019d never mention this, but I have to know. Why did you do it, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I got you fired; I wanted to atone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not referring to saving my job.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen there are a lot of my actions to which that question could apply. You\u2019ll have to be more specific.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, I withdraw that question. New question: is the town gossip true; that directly after you visited me\u2014the day you proposed to me\u2014that you went to see a fancy lady?\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked at her, a funny half-grin in place. \u201cNo.\u201d He didn\u2019t give her long enough to sigh in relief. \u201cI went to the Bucket o\u2019 Blood and went on a two-day drinking binge. Then<\/em> I saw the fancy lady.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, that\u2019s a separate question. You said you would only ask one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean it. How could you? How could you go from me to\u2026her?\u201d<\/p>\n

He half-raised one hand. \u201cPoint of order, teacher. What is the relevance of this question?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean by that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean, quite simply, that it\u2019s none of your business.\u201d He turned to go again.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is too<\/em> my business,\u201d she shouted. \u201cYou proposed to ME. And then you went to some floozy!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d he said softly. \u201cI did propose to you. But you turned me down, remember? You even backhanded me across the face to make sure I knew you meant it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just wanted my hand back. I didn\u2019t mean to hit you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd yet the bruise was just as dark. At any rate, you made it plain that I was to have no part in your life. So what difference does it make to you what I did after that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tell you,\u201d she said, struggling to get the words past the lump in her throat. \u201cIt confirms that what you said to me was just what I thought\u2014that you didn\u2019t mean any of it, that it was just a momentary lapse of control out of sadness for a lost dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u201d That dark, unfathomable look was back again, not just on his face but wrapping his whole body in a black cloak. \u201cThe fact that Hoss had known about it for weeks and had been driving both himself and me crazy trying to keep it quiet, of course, does not matter.\u201d<\/p>\n

He took a step toward her, dropping his hat on a bench. \u201cNor does it matter that the letter you helped me write contained a post script to my father, stating my intentions to him in plain English. You couldn\u2019t know any of this, and of course I can\u2019t prove it, having neither the letter nor Hoss, who wrote that part. Not that you would believe Hoss anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

She thought back, briefly, to the way Hoss had been looking at her around Christmas time, like he had the greatest gift-wrapped present in the world for her hidden away somewhere, and the day when he dropped her off at Widow Hawkins\u2019 place saying \u201cYou know me and Joe think of you as our little sister. And ever\u2019body knows about Adam.\u201d She shook her head and looked back at Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou never even said you loved me!\u201d she cried, and it sounded petulant, even to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cNever knew I needed to. I thought it stuck out all over me like a cold sore,\u201d he replied. \u201cI thought it was obvious to the entire world. I couldn\u2019t imagine people looking at me and not seeing it\u2026and it seemed inappropriate, somehow, to go parading around with it shining out of me like that. Almost as if it was indecent, to be so full of joy when everything else, absolutely everything, was going so wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly snorted. Adam looked at her silently for a minute, and then went on.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt also doesn\u2019t matter that, had you said \u2018yes,\u2019 or even \u2018let me think about it,\u2019 the fancy lady<\/em> you\u2019re so worried about would have had to find different company that night. It doesn\u2019t matter, does it, Tilly, that I would have made the Widow Hawkins rent me the use of her bathroom just so I could get myself clean enough to spend the rest of that night sitting somewhere near you in that awful little sitting room of hers.\u201d His voice had gone from a flat, emotionless statement of fact to a strange, husky tone she had never heard before. \u201cBecause I wouldn\u2019t have left. I would\u2019ve had my arms wrapped around you from twilight \u2019til dawn, until we caused another big scandal. The fancy lady wouldn\u2019t have happened, because whatever else I am, I try damned hard to be faithful to people I care about, and also because if you\u2019d said yes, I would never have had occasion to walk any more than ten feet away from you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He took another step forward. \u201cAnd just suppose, if we truly were<\/em> engaged, and the unthinkable had happened, so that you really had the right to ask me this stupid question. Do you know what would\u2019ve happened then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d have taken a skillet to you, that\u2019s what!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you\u2019d have had a right to\u2014then. But do you know what after that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tell you what would\u2019ve happened. Now if we were engaged, and I\u2019d been so all-fired stupid as to be indiscreet<\/em>, why, sure, we\u2019d have a scene. You\u2019d chase me with a skillet, you\u2019d slap me and cry, and you\u2019d have every right to. I\u2019d say it didn\u2019t mean anything, because it would be true. I\u2019d feel terrible, of course. You\u2019d tell me I was a no-good dog, and I\u2019d whimper and grovel and say I\u2019m sorry and I\u2019ll never, ever do it again. And then you\u2019d give me one of those sidelong looks out of your big blue eyes and say \u2018well, you big lout, I never can stay mad at you for long.\u2019 And I\u2019d know I was forgiven.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then what would happen?\u201d she asked in spite of herself, as he took another slow step forward so now he was within an arm\u2019s length of her.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then? Not much.\u201d He looked at her, that invisible cloak still around him. \u201cNot much at all. I\u2019d probably just reach out kinda slow, and I\u2019d haul you over to me\u2026\u201d and just then she looked down, and that elegant hand was passing by; there was a pleasant pressure on her back, and involuntarily she was moving over to him. He looked down at her, one hand holding her face up to his. \u201cAnd then I believe I\u2019d kiss you. Slowly.\u201d He kissed her\u2026slowly, and with a pent-up heat that made her quiver all over. And somewhere down in her stomach, a fire began to burn and her liver started tap-dancing, and she forgot that two plus two equaled four and that every sentence had to have a subject and a predicate\u2026or maybe she remembered, but she had no idea why any of that was important since the whole world was falling away as he pressed her into the wall and leaned against her so that they were touching everywhere, from their lips all the way down to their toes\u2026.<\/p>\n

Then the kiss ended, but they stayed that way for a moment longer, and he was looking at her with that strange expression and now she could see his eyes\u2014directly into them\u2014and for the first time since she had known him, they were completely open and she could see right down into his soul. It wasn\u2019t a beautiful soul, dear God no. It was like an old battle flag, frayed, ripped, torn full of shell-blasted holes, badly mended, with powder burns at the edges, left out in the rain once too often\u2026but never dropped that it wasn\u2019t picked up again, never giving up on hope\u2026never giving up on love\u2026and still ready to charge back into the fray, next time the call was sounded\u2026<\/p>\n

Then he stepped away from her. She could no longer see his soul, or even his eyes. He jammed his hat back on so that now his whole face was dark and hidden, and she felt deprived in every possible way.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell. Too bad we\u2019re not engaged,\u201d he said casually, and turned away to limp out to Sport, mount up, and trot down the street.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Four miles from Edelweiss, Adam could contain himself no longer. He untied his bedroll and wrapped it around his shoulders for the little warmth it could provide. Still shivering, he re-mounted. It was getting harder to ride, too, with his bum leg\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cSport,\u201d he addressed the muscular neck in front of him, and a red ear flicked back to listen. \u201cLet me ask you a question. Here\u2019s a context you can understand. Suppose one day you wake up with a real taste for oats. Day in and day out, you devoutly wish for oats. You subsist on grass and desire. One day I come up to you carrying a nose bag. And you rejoice\u2014you would have your oats at last. But then the bag is tied on and you find it full of barley. Being half-starved, you eat the barley. Now, do you curse yourself for being so weak as to eat the barley, feeling you should\u2019ve starved rather than settle for less than you wanted? Do you curse the barley for its inability to be oats? Do you curse the one who fed you because he didn\u2019t provide what you wanted? Or do you curse the oats for not making themselves available?\u201d Adam listened to the sound of his own voice in the silence of the snowy woods for a minute, and then sighed. \u201cMaybe you just wonder if you\u2019re a damned fool for wanting oats in the first place, and find yourself in the middle of nowhere talking to a horse.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was so cold. What had happened to his memory, he had no idea, for riding 20 miles with no coat was not the act of an intelligent person. Maybe it was the pain that had become such a part of his life that he imagined missing it if it should ever stop. His back screamed with each step Sport took, and his leg stayed numb for hours at a time, only to wake in an agony of jabbing pains, as if someone was stabbing his thigh with a fork. That was his life nowadays, and he accepted it because the only alternative was to end his life, and he wasn\u2019t that desperate. Paul had said if he continued with the exercises the pain might go away. Adam continued the exercises, but no longer believed the pain would end. Nowadays he almost welcomed it, because it was an absorbing alternative to the constant gnawing emptiness under his left hand where Lady used to be, and worse in his gut where Tilly used to be. Most people would\u2019ve said someone they loved lived in their heart. Tilly had always been in his gut, the place where the laughter came from when she\u2019d been around\u2014Lord, he\u2019d laughed with the abandon of a child with her\u2014and now, the place where the hurt resided since she wasn\u2019t there anymore.<\/p>\n

His hands had turned red\u2026his gloves were in the pockets of that forgotten coat. Pointless, of course, to miss what he didn\u2019t have, but he missed the coat anyway. And Lady. And the gloves. And Tilly; oh Lord, he missed Tilly.<\/p>\n

He tensed, hearing his father\u2019s voice up ahead, and brought Sport to a halt. These were his<\/em> woods, not Pa\u2019s. Joe had told Adam to stay there and treat the place as his own. That meant Pa was trespassing in his woods. His jaw clenched\u2014and then he heard the other voice. Pa wasn\u2019t talking to Hoss or Joe, but it was still a familiar voice.<\/p>\n

It was that red-headed kid, Dex.<\/p>\n

Chapter 19<\/strong><\/p>\n

Four hours earlier:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I brung the mail,\u201d Hoss said as he stumped up to the big desk. \u201cAin\u2019t but one thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked up at him and nodded curtly. More than a week ago, he had told his two remaining sons that whatever had happened while he was gone was now over, that he had no interest in knowing about it, and that whatever mistakes they had made were no longer to be worried about. \u201cFrom now on, we\u2019ll move forward,\u201d he had said.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t quite understand the doubtful look that had passed between Hoss and Little Joe. It was as if they didn\u2019t agree, but at the same time they knew it was useless to argue. Well, that much, at least, was true. He was sick and tired of the arguing and fighting, and it was his ranch; therefore, things would be done his way, and there would be peace between his two younger sons and himself.<\/p>\n

As for Adam\u2026not only had he not apologized; he had picked the most public and sacred place he could to stage a rebellion, and then carried it out into the street like a fishmonger with all of Virginia City looking on\u2026<\/p>\n

Furthermore, the \u201caccounting\u201d Adam had been promising was nonexistent\u2014the ledgers were a mess. They had barely been touched since the middle of December, and the last figures logged showed the ranch with less than $200 cash available. Supposedly Adam had managed to get some money from the Pinkerton Agency, although Ben had not found out how or why. He wasn\u2019t sure he would believe anything Hoss or Joe said about it, and hadn\u2019t yet had a chance to talk to Roy. \u201cJudas sold out the Messiah for thirty pieces of silver,\u201d Ben muttered. \u201cAdam, what did you do for that $30,000?\u201d<\/p>\n

If Adam had apologized back then, rather than turning on him so loudly, so finally, perhaps there would have been hope\u2026but now\u2026well, there was no use going over it now; it was done. Adam was gone. Even if he had returned and begged forgiveness, it would have been granted only with a lot of difficulty. Adam\u2019s accusation had been wrong\u2014even if the boy had<\/em> burned down the ranch and stolen the money, Ben couldn\u2019t imagine ever hating his oldest son, but how could he talk to him after such a deliberate, public rebellion?<\/p>\n

He had gone into Adam\u2019s room that morning, and seen Elizabeth\u2019s copy of Paradise Lost<\/em> on the table near the music box and the old painted miniature of her. He picked up the picture for a minute, and it seemed to burn his hand. \u201cLiz, how could this happen?\u201d he murmured. He looked at the book, and suddenly the irony hit him in the face like a barber\u2019s hot towel. \u201cAdam\u2026\u201d he closed his eyes. Liz had loved that book so much, and known huge sections of it by heart\u2026but while the book\u2019s message for her was always one of hope, he had always wondered just how God felt, throwing the first Adam out of the Garden of Eden. Well, he had a fair idea of it, now.<\/p>\n

The previous day, Hoss had said, \u201cI sure do wish you\u2019d got the last letter Adam wrote you. He told you all about it. Most everything that happened.\u201d And he had replied without interest, \u201cI told you, all that\u2019s in the past.\u201d<\/p>\n

And now he was just sitting at his desk, trying to wrestle the books back into order, and here was this one piece of mail to deal with. The brown package was marked from the Hotel Waterloo in Leavenworth, Kansas. Wondering if he had left something behind, he opened it. Two things fell out: a sheet of note paper, and another, smaller envelope.<\/p>\n

The note said \u201cDeer Mr. Cartwright sir\u2014this paket arrived 3 or 4 days after you departed from this hotel and I thowt it cud be importent. So I send it back to you sir cows you was ever good to me. Fathfulee yrs, Domino.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a second Ben considered consigning the smaller envelope to the flames. Why stir up trouble.<\/em> But before they clammed up and stopped talking to him altogether, Joe and Hoss had been all but desperate for him to know. And in the first couple of days after his return, all the fights that weren\u2019t about that dog had been Joe\u2019s accusing him of refusing to listen. Why should I listen when they didn\u2019t make sense? <\/em>But along with that question came the crashing answer: they might have made sense, if you had only allowed any of them to finish a sentence<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Finally, he took a deep breath and opened the envelope. At first he didn\u2019t even think the handwriting was Adam\u2019s\u2014Adam had a bold, clear script. This writing was awful: the words were badly out of alignment, as if they were being written in the dark, and by an old or sick man with a shaky hand. Here and there he could see enough of Adam\u2019s handwriting characteristics to believe it was his\u2014that odd way of making the letter \u201cJ,\u201d the loop in the \u201co.\u201d If it hadn\u2019t been for that it wouldn\u2019t have seemed like Adam\u2019s writing at all.<\/p>\n

Dear Pa,<\/em><\/p>\n

This is the last letter I will have time to send before you begin your journey home, but I hope it reaches you in time because there is a lot you need to know before you get here.<\/em><\/p>\n

You will find the Ponderosa very changed, in both good and bad ways. We recently found ourselves battling a fire\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

And so he read, with difficulty, of the fire\u2026and the squatters<\/em> who had started it? The squatters\u2014the two ranch hands that he<\/em> had hired before leaving for Kansas. Why on earth had Adam claimed to have burned down the ranch if these people had done it?<\/p>\n

The handwriting changed. Now the words were neat again, in a confident but decidedly feminine hand.<\/p>\n

You might as well know that I was recently injured too. In the fire I mentioned, Beauty broke his leg, throwing me, and I sustained some injuries that have laid me up for a week or so. Happily I am recovering in hardy Cartwright fashion, although the handwriting has probably alerted you to the fact that I find it somewhat difficult to write.<\/em><\/p>\n

So that was what happened to Beauty. And he supposed this feminine hand belonged to that rude Tilly Hoffman. He and Joe had gone to see her the previous week, when he still had hopes of bringing Adam home, to warn her about helping Adam to bypass him. She had stepped right up to him as if his size, bulk, and voice didn\u2019t matter to her at all, and told him pretty much to mind his own business. Little Joe hadn\u2019t even been surprised. But in something of a wakeup call, Ben realized he had gotten entirely too used to having his own way.<\/p>\n

We have taken in a stray dog. I\u2019ve mentioned her before, earlier in this missive. She turned up the week after you left, and Hoss named her Lady\u2026In fact, it is due to her that you still have the house, not to mention me (she saved my life last week) and Joe (she has rescued him from certain death twice\u2026. <\/em><\/p>\n

Wait a minute, this was ridiculous. \u201cHoss!\u201d He bellowed. \u201cHoss, get in here!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss duly reported, looking worried, as he usually did these days.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you know what this package is?\u201d Ben demanded, and before Hoss could reply, he continued, \u201cIt\u2019s supposed to be Adam\u2019s last letter to me, the one that was going to explain everything. Are you aware of the ridiculous claims made in this letter?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you gonna let me talk about it?\u201d Hoss seemed surprised.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve already started reading it; I might as well talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s jaw came out. \u201cNo sir, you might as well let me and Joe talk about it. We\u2019re the ones that knows. Not you\u2026sir<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWatch your mouth, boy. What I want is an explanation of the tomfoolery in these pages.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI helped Adam write part of that letter, and I read the whole thing before I mailed it,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cAnd Pa, I love you, but don\u2019t you go callin\u2019 me no liar. Everything in that letter is dead true.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat dog<\/em> saved Adam\u2019s life? She saved Little Joe\u2019s life?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwice.\u201d Hoss nodded emphatically. \u201cFirst time she saved Joe was at branding when an angry mama cow charged him. Lady come barrelin\u2019 outta nowhere and jumped on that cow and took her down to the ground. Pore Adam nearly had a heart attack, but Joe thought it was the greatest thing he\u2019d ever seen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the second time?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was when Little Joe was shot, in the south pasture where the squatters was hidin\u2019. Lady chased \u2019em away so they couldn\u2019t finish off Joe, and then she come and got me and Adam and took us back to where Joe was layin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s preposterous.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo it ain\u2019t! I was there, dadburn it!\u201d Hoss retorted, standing up straighter. \u201cPa, we are the Cartwrights<\/em>. We done seen leprechauns and knights in shining armor and elephants and gypsies and self-powered wagons and one time an angel of God come to our church. Why\u2019s it so hard to believe a dog could be smart or helpful? The night of the fire, Lady\u2019s the one who told Adam about it, and when he durn near killed hisself tryin\u2019 to get back to warn us, Lady was with him and stood guard over him all night and chased off the stampedin\u2019 cows when they tried to run him over.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSit down,\u201d Ben ordered, and continued reading. \u201cIt says here that you also saved Joe\u2019s life in relation to the shooting incident. What\u2019s this about?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss blushed. \u201cWell, it was really Adam\u2019s idea. Joe was bleedin\u2019 to death and I couldn\u2019t think what to do. Doc Martin didn\u2019t even want to do it. It\u2019s a blood confusion or somethin\u2019\u2014taking some blood out of me and puttin\u2019 it into Little Joe. Adam practically sat on poor ole Doc to make him do it, and then Adam and I had a little disagreement over who was gonna provide the blood since we both wanted to. I ended up winning, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head.<\/p>\n

As to his injury, as well as the subsequent fire, I take full responsibility for allowing these things to happen\u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n

At those lines, Ben remembered Adam\u2019s near-hysterical cry again: \u201cI\u2019m the one who burned down your ranch!\u201d and suddenly, he understood what it meant\u2026and something inside him seemed to break open, and he groaned and dropped his head into his hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026you okay?\u201d Hoss was anxiously standing over him.<\/p>\n

He swallowed and waved Hoss back to his chair. Taking a deep, shaky breath, he read on.<\/p>\n

My friend Miss Hoffman the schoolteacher is writing this for me. When you get home I\u2019m sure you will meet her. She proved herself a valuable nurse when Joe and Hoss were under the weather and has even attempted to run the blockade caused by my own Yankee granite-headedness during my illness.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cShe was nursing,\u201d Ben whispered. \u201cHoss, is that all it was?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll what<\/em> was?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly Hoffman\u2014she only came up here to nurse you and Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShucks, no, Pa. She used to come up every Sunday for dinner and then Adam would get out his guitar and we\u2019d all sing and tell stories \u2019til our voices give out, and then we\u2019d take her home. But then, when me and Joe was both laid up, Adam plumb wore hisself out lookin\u2019 after us, and none of the townfolk offered to help. Tilly was the only one who came. Seems like the good folk of Virginia City thought we was too far away. Funny, ain\u2019t it, that it was never too far for anybody to travel when we was havin\u2019 a party.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFunny, indeed,\u201d Ben said with a trace of anger. \u201cHow did Tilly manage it every day?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019d take a nap for a few hours after school, and then ride Thunder up here. Then Adam would go to bed and Tilly would look after me and Joe \u2019til first light. Sometimes Hop Sing would stay with her and I\u2019d wake up and they\u2019d be practicing English. Then Hop Sing would wake Adam up and he\u2019d be back with us until night again and Tilly would go back and teach school. She said it weren\u2019t hard to do but sometimes I think she was as tired as Adam. After I was able to be up and around, she went back to just comin\u2019 up on Saturdays or Sundays to visit and have dinner, leastwise, up \u2019til the fire. Then she was here as much as she could be, I guarantee you. She was real worried about Adam. In fact, she and Joe found Adam. She\u2019s the one who got Adam home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben stored that fact for future reference. \u201cAnd after Adam recovered from the fire\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

A shrug. \u201cShe was here Christmas Day for dinner. And then she got a telegram that her pa had died. I think that was New Year\u2019s Eve. She got all hysterical the way girls do, only she\u2026tore up her room at Mrs. O\u2019Reilly\u2019s, and that woman kicked her out on the street. And then\u2026\u201d he blushed. \u201cThen Adam got in trouble with Mrs. O\u2019Reilly for stickin\u2019 up for Tilly, and the sheriff put Adam and Tilly in jail. Joe and me got Hiram and he got them out, and since the Widder Hawkins didn\u2019t have no rooms open \u2019til the fifth, we brought Tilly here. She stayed in the downstairs guest room and didn\u2019t show her face at all for a couple of days. Finally she came back out and Adam brought out the guitar and we spent the last couple of days singin\u2019 again until I had to take her back to town. Kinda like when we brought Little Joe\u2019s friend Sarah out here after her pa died, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

And so the rumors were true\u2026and they were all lies.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Little Joe\u2026did he\u2026did he have a love affair with this woman, this Tilly?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?<\/em>\u201d the shocked voice was Hoss\u2019s, but it was echoed by Little Joe himself, coming in with a load of firewood.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho in tunket said that?\u201d Hoss demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou point me at that guy and I\u2019ll pound him so hard his whole family\u2019ll die!\u201d Joe shouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026but you<\/em> said it,\u201d Ben stammered. He reached in his desk drawer, removed the water-stained page and handed it to Joe.<\/p>\n

Well, I know you are looking at this and thinking WHY IS MY FAVORITE SON RIGHTING WITH HIS WRITE HAND? It\u2019s a long story, ****** I broke my collar bone again. Fortun ******* Lady ***** saved my life but we\u2019ll tell you all about that when you come home. ************ I\u2019ve got her to do a lot of my fetchin and carryin. Funny I call her my Lady, Hoss calls her his Lady, and we both know she\u2019s Adam\u2019s, but of course he ignores her even though she loves him. She\u2019s been so helpful around here Pa, even Hop Sing ****. I wish you could see****little funny lookin, **** long skinny nose ******utiful blue eyes and a great smile, and when the sunlight catches her hair just right it fairly sparkles. She\u2019s ********** sweet as you can imagine. Since I got laid up she\u2019s been sleeping with me most every night. Adam said you wouldn\u2019t like it but I\u2019m betting you\u2019ll make an acception when you meet her and be******s ****** ******** just showed up the first night after I was hurt and they say she and Adam ***********French song that Mama used to sin******** a good person for all she is a teacher and talks about as funny as Adam.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI said the DOG saved my life! This is all about the DOG! She\u2019s the one with blue eyes and a long nose!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd is she a schoolteacher, too?\u201d Ben yelled.<\/p>\n

Joe stood his ground and yelled back. \u201cNo, for Pete\u2019s sake, Pa, I was talkin\u2019 about the dog up to HERE and then HERE I was talkin\u2019 about Tilly. Somebody<\/em> didn\u2019t blot my letter!\u201d<\/p>\n

Father and youngest son looked at middle son, who bristled. \u201cWell it ain\u2019t my fault Lady came runnin\u2019 in all wet and shook herself all over everybody! And maybe you should learn to use paragraphs like Adam always says!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe all this started from my letter!\u201d Joe\u2019s head whirled. \u201cI know what they were sayin\u2019 about us and Tilly in town, but I couldn\u2019t believe you\u2019d buy off on any of\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo none<\/em> of you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell now, hold your horses, Pa,\u201d Hoss put in hastily. \u201cAdam\u2019s in love with her. He ain\u2019t ever done nothin\u2019 to be ashamed of about it, but he\u2019s in love with her all the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how do you know this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRead the rest of the letter. That\u2019s the part I helped write.\u201d<\/p>\n

P.S. Pa, I intend to get married\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOh sweet Lord,\u201d Ben murmured, reading the rest of the post script. \u201cThey\u2019re going to get married. He wanted my blessing\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa,\u201d Joe said. \u201cHe gave up on getting your blessing and asked her the night Weston took Lady away. Tilly didn\u2019t seem to think he meant it, and she turned him down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t seem to think he meant<\/em> it?\u201d Ben cried. \u201cHave you ever known Adam not to be sincere?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa,\u201d Hoss mumbled, \u201cbut then you ain\u2019t ever known him to not be sincere either, and it didn\u2019t stop you from disbelievin\u2019 every word he said since you got home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben just sat looking at them, his eyes wet.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can explain about the money, too, Pa,\u201d Joe said softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cDevil take the money! I don\u2019t care about the money\u2026this was never a question of money!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Hoss went on, \u201cJoe and I rode out to see him a couple days ago and he\u2019s determined to leave. He means it this time\u2014says he\u2019ll never be his own man until he does.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, but, you boys are the reason I built all this. What\u2019s it for if not for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s nearly 35,\u201d Joe finally said. \u201cPa, by the time you were that age you had been married three times, had all three of us, and were building up the Ponderosa. You tell everybody you raised us to be men, men who make our own decisions, but when our decisions don\u2019t line up with yours, you have this scary habit of taking us over your knee, with words if not with a strop. Adam\u2019s been fighting you for a long time, and he\u2019s tired of it. I can\u2019t say I blame him\u2014and I can\u2019t see it continuing. If you want him to stick around, he\u2019s going to have to have a little more of your trust, even when his decisions aren\u2019t yours\u2026\u201d Joe took a deep breath. \u201cAnd while you\u2019re at it, Pa, I\u2019d like some of that myself. I know I\u2019m just 24, but I don\u2019t intend to be treated like a baby forever, either.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd me,\u201d Hoss put in. \u201cI never raise much fuss, but that don\u2019t mean I ain\u2019t much of a man. I respect you as much as the day is long, but a feller\u2019s gotta grow up. You ride us gentle, most of the time, but you ride us all the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLeave me alone for a moment, please,\u201d Ben whispered, and both Hoss and Little Joe left the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you think?\u201d Hoss asked Joe as they put their jackets on and went outside.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do YOU think?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss scratched his head. \u201cPa\u2019s a good man. Sometimes his temper runs a bit high. And the way Adam provoked him that one day, he had reason to let his temper run high. But when he thinks things through\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think we oughtta saddle Buck,\u201d Joe replied with a grin.<\/p>\n

Hoss grinned back. \u201cRace ya to the barn.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

The boys had read his mind. They had saddled Buck\u2014and only<\/em> Buck\u2014and he had thanked them\u2026and apologized profusely for judging without all the facts, and for not trusting them. Now he was on his way to see Adam and do the same.<\/p>\n

Edelweiss was deserted, and Sport, Beauty\u2019s replacement, was gone. Ben hesitated near the clearing, wondering whether to go home and try another day or whether to go inside, make himself at home, and wait. And as he considered, the decision was taken from him. He heard a crunch in the snow, but before he could turn, the world went black.<\/p>\n

It couldn\u2019t have been more than half an hour later that he awoke, but it felt like longer, and he was bound hand and foot. But I\u2019m not gagged<\/em>, he thought, and wondered why until he realized there was no one to hear him. There was a red-haired youngster standing nearby, going through his wallet.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019re Ben Cartwright. You don\u2019t carry much cash.\u201d The kid threw the wallet aside.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m on my own land. I don\u2019t have to pay for anything here. Who are you and what do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou owe me $425,000.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how do you figure that, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m nobody\u2019s son, Cartwright. I\u2019m 25 years old, and I\u2019d think you\u2019d give me a little respect. I\u2019ve got your gun, your horse, my own Bowie knife, and a bigger brain than you\u2019ve ever met. Six months ago I worked for the Central Pacific. I heard about a train carrying a payroll\u2014with a little something extra tucked away inside\u2014and I decided the railroad didn\u2019t pay enough. I got a couple of guys together, we got that train off the rails, and we got the box. And we got away. And now, my partners are in jail and likely to stay that way, and I\u2019m broke, stranded, and on foot. Yup, now I have your horse. And gun. But I think you owe me a little more than that. I know the railroad got that box back, but there were four unsigned bearer bonds and $25,000 cash in that box. That was my box. I stole it; that made it mine. Your boys took it from me. I want the money back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve never quite understood why a thief is offended when someone takes from him. That\u2019s the system you work in\u2014taking means possession. If my boys took the money away from you, it became theirs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe. But I took you. And if your boys want you back, there\u2019s a price to pay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry to disappoint you, Dex, but my boys have standing orders that we will not pay kidnappers under any circumstances.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot even if I send you back to them, one piece at a time? I think they\u2019ll change their minds then. I always knew that knife would come in useful for something.\u201d<\/p>\n

The sun was low in the sky, but Ben dimly saw a shadow moving among the trees.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t bank on that, Dex,\u201d Ben said. \u201cMy oldest boy makes all those decisions. And if you decide to send my fingers or toes to him, he\u2019ll only come after you. I may die, but you will as well. Adam\u2019s always done what I expected. He\u2019s always made me proud.\u201d<\/p>\n

The kid snorted\u2014and 185 pounds of muscle and bone suddenly hit him from behind. The fight was short but ferocious\u2014hearing something at the last second, Dex had shifted slightly to the right, and although Adam\u2019s jump knocked him to the ground, Dex rolled and was up immediately; Adam a second later. No Marquess of Queensbury rules\u2014punches were low; knees were used to good advantage. Ben saw something flash in the reddening sky, and gasped as he remembered the Bowie knife. But suddenly Dex screamed at the top of his lungs, and then Adam was on top of him, tearing the kid\u2019s belt off and using it to bind his arms together. That done, he hauled Dex over to Buck and, keeping one arm across the kid\u2019s throat, he detached the rope from Buck\u2019s saddle and used it to hogtie Dex completely. He left the kid lying on his side, whimpering in the snow as he turned to his father. \u201cYou all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine,\u201d Ben said weakly. \u201cJust a bit \u2018tied up\u2019. What did you do to him? I never heard a scream like that before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI took a lesson from Lady,\u201d Adam said faintly, and picked up a handful of snow to put in his mouth. He swirled it around for a moment, letting it liquefy, then spat it back out, and the ground turned pink. A huff. \u201cThink I took off the top of his ear. Hope I don\u2019t get rabies.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam retrieved the Bowie knife and cut his father loose, then helped him up. Ben extended a grateful hand, but Adam turned away, his shoulders hunched. Ben wondered where his coat was, but he could hardly ask with Adam being so concerned about being treated as a 34-year-old child.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I were you, I\u2019d take him back to the house and then let Hoss take him into town.\u201d Adam pointed at the kid. \u201cThis is the third member of the bunch that derailed that train, killed 10 people and Lord knows what else\u2014believe me or don\u2019t, but Roy needs to get his hands on him quick.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI believe you, Adam,\u201d Ben said quietly. \u201cI believe everything you say.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shivering, Adam looked sharply at him. \u201cDon\u2019t get carried away. I\u2019d\u2019ve done as much for a drunk on the street.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. Adam\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou need to get going, Pa. It\u2019ll be dark soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs soon as you tell me you\u2019re all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d Adam said with a little shrug. \u201cMy leg doesn\u2019t even hurt anymore.\u201d He started back to Sport, leaving a trail of red behind, and then Ben noticed what the dark shirt and the fading daylight had concealed before.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d he cried just as Adam pitched face-first into the snow.<\/p>\n

Chapter 20<\/strong><\/p>\n

Will and Laura Cartwright had just had the mother of all fights. He adored her, but there were times\u2014like this one\u2014where he knew that staying in the same room with her would land him in jail for murder. And that last thing she had said was too painful to be borne.<\/p>\n

Needing someone to talk to, the first person he thought of was his cousin, Adam Cartwright. Funny\u2014Will had stolen Adam\u2019s girl, and yet now Will was turning to him as a friend. He wondered vaguely if the feeling was reciprocated. Adam had been the one who encouraged Will to take Laura, and had assured him many times that there were no hard feelings. But it still didn\u2019t make things any easier, especially with fights like this between him and Laura, and he wondered sometimes if Adam would have had a happier marriage with Laura than he did.<\/p>\n

For reasons unknown to Will, Adam had been staying the last two weeks at a little cabin near the stream. Adam called the place Edelweiss, and it was on Ponderosa land, but it was still strange that he wasn\u2019t up at the main house. Will had missed church the last two weeks, so he hadn\u2019t seen Ben since his return from Fort Leavenworth\u2014something he needed to remedy soon. He had heard, though, that Adam and Ben had had a falling-out\u2014in the middle of church at that, but he wasn\u2019t sure whether to believe it or not. Maybe Adam would let Will bunk out there with him tonight, and maybe by the time he came home Laura would have gotten over being mad.<\/p>\n

Such were his thoughts when he came upon Ben Cartwright, coatless, frantic, his brown sheepskin jacket wrapped around most of Adam while Ben picked up the hard-packed snow and pushed it into Adam\u2019s side.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s bleeding.\u201d Ben didn\u2019t even seem surprised to see Will there. \u201cThat\u2014that\u2014thing<\/em> over there stabbed him and I thought maybe the snow would slow it down but now he\u2019s freezing to death AND bleeding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet him freeze for a minute,\u201d Will said quickly. \u201cYou\u2019re right; that will slow the bleeding. You get back to the house and send Joe for the doctor and the sheriff, and then get back here. I\u2019ll watch and when I see the bleeding start to slow down I\u2019ll bring him inside the cabin.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no,\u201d Ben mumbled distractedly. \u201cI can\u2019t leave him. You go\u2026get somebody.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, you\u2019re not thinking straight. He needs to stay out here for a few more minutes, and there\u2019s no time. If we both wait so I can help you get him inside, that\u2019ll delay getting a doctor. If I leave right now, you\u2019re not going to be able to get him in by yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut it\u2019s my fault.\u201d There was a tone in his voice Will had never heard before\u2014despair.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen\u2014you don\u2019t have time for this!\u201d He grabbed his uncle\u2019s collar and bodily yanked him to his feet. \u201cYou know I\u2019m right. Go now!\u201d<\/p>\n

Looking dazed, Ben murmured, \u201cOf course\u2026you\u2019re right. I\u2019ll go.\u201d<\/p>\n

Will watched him ride away. \u201cHe just needs something to do. Nothing worse in the world for him than just sitting around being powerless.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right,\u201d murmured Adam, and Will jumped a little; he hadn\u2019t realized Adam was conscious.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou keep quiet.\u201d He looked at the wound. Left side. Too low for the heart or lungs. What other organs were in that part of the body? He wasn\u2019t sure, but at least the blood was oozing now instead of pouring.<\/p>\n

\u201cWill,\u201d Adam whispered. \u201cWould you\u2026deliver a message for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Off his head. He\u2019s off his head<\/em>. \u201cSure, Adam. Anything you say.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly Hoffman. You know who she is\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, she\u2019s the schoolteacher.\u201d Who threatened to turn all my male parts into pig food<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cTell her it was never the dog.\u201d Definitely off his head<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, I\u2019ll tell her. But I imagine she\u2019ll probably come and see you, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam just looked evenly at him. \u201cIt would be nice, but I don\u2019t think so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I better get you inside. You\u2019re pretty cold.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot a bit.\u201d Adam\u2019s voice had none of its usual force; it was unnaturally soft, with a little wheeze at the end. \u201cI\u2019m warm enough. But I miss Tilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Will turned his head so Adam couldn\u2019t see his expression. \u201cAny chance you could get up, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

No response. Adam had drifted off. Will took a deep breath and gathered Adam into his arms and pulled him up. Will had a couple of inches on Adam, and a few pounds, but Lord, the man felt heavy right now.<\/p>\n

As gently as he could, Will got him inside and laid him on the bed. He pumped a bucket of water and got a washcloth and a glass. When he returned, Adam\u2019s eyes were open again. \u201cSorry to be a bother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was coming out to see you,\u201d Will said. \u201cNo bother at all. Listen, you\u2019re not considering dying now, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s voice was so soft Will could barely hear him. \u201cHadn\u2019t given it much thought.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood. I won\u2019t have you dying. Too many complications.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything is complicated. Why\u2026are you here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, Laura and I had a fight, and I walked out. Lucky for you though, Cousin.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou and Laura have too many fights,\u201d Adam observed, and Will stiffened\u2014but any response was deferred when Adam clenched both fists as a wave of pain swept through him. \u201cTilly and I fought too. You know why she won\u2019t marry me, Will?\u201d<\/p>\n

Will had never known Adam to be interested in Tilly, and he couldn\u2019t imagine why any man in his right mind would be, so he just shook his head. Adam smiled feebly.<\/p>\n

\u201cStorgi<\/em>\u2026that\u2019s why,\u201d Adam went on. His eyes had taken on a glassy appearance, and Will hastily undressed him and put him under the covers. \u201cThat\u2019s Greek, Will\u2014means love. But the Greeks were smarter than us\u2026they had different words for love. Storgi<\/em> was the kind of love you might feel for your cousins, or your little sister, or the family dog\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Will looked out the window as he put another bucket of water on the stove to heat. He was pretty sure it would be better to keep Adam conscious, but when he got to one of his philosophical ramblings like this, things were bound to be uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what are the other kinds?\u201d he asked brightly, with dread.<\/p>\n

\u201cPhilea<\/em>\u2026it means the love you have for your friends and comrades\u2026like you and Mateo I guess\u2026and then there\u2019s eros<\/em>\u2014and that one should be obvious.\u201d He tried to wink, but ended up closing both eyes and nodding off. Will gently slapped his cheeks until he came around again.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t tell me what ay-ros<\/em> means,\u201d Will prompted.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat were we talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were telling me about Greek words. For love.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStrange subject for a conversation.\u201d He blinked. \u201cOhhhhhhh\u2026Will, either the room is spinning or my head\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Where the hell is Ben? <\/em>\u201cJust tell me the Greek words, dammit!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed. \u201cStorgi, philea, eros, agape<\/em>. There\u2019s one other, but\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, what\u2019s eros<\/em>, and what\u2019s ah-gah-pay<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEros\u2026is what you feel for women, you know, upstairs<\/em>\u2026and agape is the kind of love that\u2019s always wanting the\u2026best for the other, even if it means sacrifice.\u201d He blinked a couple of times. \u201cTilly won\u2019t marry me, Will. You know why? She thinks I feel storgi for her. She doesn\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you mean you really feel\u2026what, eros?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no. Good Lord. Always said I\u2019d never marry a woman unless I felt all four.\u201d<\/p>\n

Will wondered if Adam was dying; surely he would never talk like this otherwise. And considering what Laura had said that night, Will wondered how it would affect him. But he had to ask. \u201cIs that how you felt for Laura?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLaura\u2026no. I broke my own rule with her. I\u2019m sorry, Will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what did you feel for her, then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever got past storgi and agape\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

While Will digested that one, Adam slipped into unconsciousness.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Ben sent Joe, the lightest man with the fastest horse, into town for the doctor, and dispatched Hoss with a wagon and team to pick up Dex. Then he was back on Buck and racing in that direction himself.<\/p>\n

Will was doing his best to clean the wound. \u201cHe\u2019s out, Ben. He faded off a little while ago and I couldn\u2019t bring him back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow bad does it look?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m hardly a doctor,\u201d Will observed. \u201cThe bleeding\u2019s slowed to just a little ooze, which I\u2019d say is good.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben seated himself by the bed, picked up a hand and slapped it. \u201cAdam, can you hear me?\u201d A few tries later, he got Adam to open his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cListen, son,\u201d Ben said quietly. \u201cI was coming to see you when that boy jumped me. Adam, I want to apologize. I spoke to Hoss and Joe\u2014and your letter came. I shouldn\u2019t have needed all that to trust you, Adam. I meant what I said a little while ago\u2014you always make me proud. I don\u2019t know how I could\u2019ve ever doubted it. It all seems so obvious, now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded and closed his eyes again.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, please talk to me. I\u2019ll listen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot much to say right now, Pa. I\u2019m tired.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re still trying to\u2026apologize\u2026it\u2019s okay. Forget it,\u201d Adam whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cForgiveness from you<\/em>\u2026as easy as that, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe told me once\u2026if it wasn\u2019t\u2026easy, it wasn\u2019t forgiveness. Funny, learning something deep from Joe, ain\u2019t it\u2026I love you, Pa\u2026but I\u2019m tired.\u201d<\/p>\n

In what seemed like an eternity but was only half an hour later, Paul Martin made his arrival, and then Joe returned as well. Hoss left Dex in the wagon and covered him with gunny sacks to keep out the worst of the cold. No one could drag Hoss away from Adam at a time like this.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis doesn\u2019t look too bad,\u201d Paul said. \u201cSingle-edged knife, went in between a couple of the lower ribs, and the skin\u2019s puckered at one end and trying to close on the other. Typical. He\u2019s breathing too easy for a lung hit, and it went too low for the heart. Too high for the kidneys. If it had hit the pancreas we\u2019d know by now\u2026that only leaves the spleen. Let me just\u2026\u201d He gently probed the area, and Adam almost bolted from the bed, shrieking. \u201cAh. Spleen. I\u2019ll need to either fix it or if I can\u2019t fix it, I\u2019ll remove it. Spleens aren\u2019t good for much anyhow. Ben, heat up some more water; Hoss, bring some towels. This should be easy.\u201d<\/p>\n

He took the cloth Will had been using, wrung it out, and took out a bottle.<\/p>\n

\u201cEther?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

Paul nodded. \u201cWill, you can hold this over his nose and mouth, please\u2026The rest of you fellows go sit down. This shouldn\u2019t take long.\u201d<\/p>\n

And it wouldn\u2019t have taken long, except that a moment after Paul made the incision, Adam cried out right through the ether, and suddenly blood was belching out of the wound. Paul swore as Ben, Hoss and Joe rushed back into the room. \u201cIt\u2019s hemorrhaging\u2014now of all times!\u201d<\/p>\n

All thoughts of saving the spleen were abandoned; Paul removed it immediately, but while the bleeding slowed, it didn\u2019t stop; that was when Paul found the Bowie knife had nicked a small artery as well. While the other Cartwrights stood watching in mute terror, Paul managed to pump out the blood that was suddenly everywhere; then he located the damaged artery and stitched it back together.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s not right,\u201d Ben whispered. \u201cHis breathing\u2019s off and\u2026\u201d He indicated the pulse jumping in Adam\u2019s throat; it was going too fast to count.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s in shock,\u201d Paul muttered. He pulled out a packet of sewing needles. \u201cAll four of you\u2014prick your fingers and squeeze as much blood as you can into one of these.\u201d He handed them the needles and four small glass vials. As they each dripped a little blood into their vials, he dripped some of Adam\u2019s blood in as well. \u201cNow swirl them around.\u201d<\/p>\n

The blood in the vials Hoss and Joe held began to clot almost at once. The blood in Ben\u2019s and Will\u2019s vials stayed liquid and red. \u201cOkay,\u201d Paul said. \u201cI\u2019ve got to get some more blood into him; that hemorrhage was bad. Will and Ben, you two have the best chance of donating. It\u2019s not certain, but it\u2019s an even 50-50 chance. Hoss and Joe, you\u2019re out. Ben, Will, this can be dangerous both for Adam and you. Who wants to vol\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s my son.\u201d Ben stepped forward. \u201cI\u2019ll do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re no spring chicken, Ben; you sure? Never mind; we\u2019ll try. Hoss, you and Joe slide that couch over here. Hoss, you know what to do; you\u2019ve been through it before. Ben, I won\u2019t be takin\u2019 as much from you as I did from Hoss, but let me just tell you\u2026\u201d and he began to list all the dangers to both Adam and to Ben. Will, listening, remembered visiting Adam the day after it had been done between Hoss and Joe, and he remembered his shock at seeing Hoss down like a worn-out prize fighter. He couldn\u2019t fathom undergoing something like this and thanked his stars that Ben had volunteered\u2026but\u2026Laura\u2026.<\/p>\n

Ben climbed up on the couch\u2014there were no extra pillows in the house, and Hoss had brought in a bunch of hay and a saddle instead. \u201cJust sit up,\u201d Paul said. \u201cHoss\u2019ll catch you if you pass out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPass out<\/em>,\u201d Ben huffed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been reading up on this since I tried it with Hoss and Joe,\u201d Paul said as he put the tourniquet on Ben\u2019s arm. \u201cThat\u2019s where I found out about the clotting test.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can write a paper about it later!\u201d Ben growled, and then jumped as the needle went in.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d Paul released the tourniquet and they watched the white tube darken as Ben\u2019s blood began its journey to Adam. \u201cNow be still\u2014no more wiggling.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben watched, a fascinated\u2014and slightly queasy\u2014expression on his face. \u201cA person could bleed to death this way and never know it. Paul, is this legal?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not illegal<\/em>,\u201d Paul replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s real easy, Pa,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cDon\u2019t worry. When I done it Adam stayed by me and it was over in no time.\u201d<\/p>\n

And then everyone in the room jumped as Adam\u2019s whole body jerked; a high-pitched whimper came from his throat, and when Paul rushed to look at his arm, there were red blotches everywhere. The needle\u2019s entry point had turned crimson; Adam\u2019s face was flushed and covered with sweat. He was shivering violently. Swearing, Paul yanked the needle out and held it straight up, then turned back to Ben and pulled out his needle. \u201cWell, that frosts it,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d Ben demanded\u2014and then he gave a short, sharp bark of pain and began clawing at his arm.<\/p>\n

\u201cI made the mistake of thinking because I beat the odds once I could do it again.\u201d Paul swatted Ben\u2019s hand away and grabbed a whiskey bottle from the table nearby. He poured the whisky all over both Ben\u2019s and Adam\u2019s arms and then handed it to Ben for a drink while he looked back at Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure thought you two would be compatible,\u201d he muttered. \u201cBen, you didn\u2019t get enough to hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you joking? I thought my arm would come off.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI got the needle out before the backwash posed any real threat. As for Adam\u2026we won\u2019t know for a while. Right now he\u2019s still fading.\u201d He looked at Will. \u201cAdam\u2019s chances are slim and none. I won\u2019t ask you to try, but if you don\u2019t\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

Will Cartwright had been thinking ever since the doc had said he and Ben were the most likely donors. Whatever fear he felt, he could not get the argument with Laura out of his head, or the things Adam had mumbled about in his strange discourse about love. And for those reasons, he could not let Adam die.<\/p>\n

He grinned. \u201cSure, I\u2019ll try. Ben\u2026tell Laura I love her.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was almost four in the morning when Hoss brought Dex into Virginia City and left him at the sheriff\u2019s office. \u201cWell, I\u2019ll get him to Placerville tomorrow,\u201d Roy fussed. \u201cYou done interrupted my beauty sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss ignored the grumbling. \u201cPa said that whatever charges are already against this fella, he wants to add the kidnappin\u2019 of Ben Cartwright and attempted murder of Adam. Pa was there and saw everything and he\u2019ll be more\u2019n happy to tell you about it. And Roy\u2026that \u2018attempted\u2019 murder could still be murder. We don\u2019t know if he\u2019ll make it yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

As he turned the wagon, Hoss considered swinging by the Widow\u2019s to see if Tilly wanted to come, but from all he had heard, he had no idea whether she would even want to see him. He sighed, and passed the house without stopping.<\/p>\n

When he got back to Edelweiss, Laura was there with Will, and Joe was looking irritated, as he usually did when Laura was around. He took Hoss by the arm and led him into the kitchen. \u201cI think all Will\u2019s marital problems would be solved if he\u2019d just backhand her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s she up to?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe didn\u2019t even want to come when I went to get her. Said it was too cold out. Then when I told her Will had been hurt\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe wasn\u2019t hurt. He just gave some blood. Not that much either. Pa was hurt worse.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, the good news is, Pa\u2019s okay. He\u2019s all heartsore, though\u2014says every time he tries to do something for Adam he nearly kills him. Doc\u2019s still waiting to see what\u2019s gonna happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Adam didn\u2019t have a reaction to Will\u2019s blood.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but it depends on how much he got of Pa\u2019s as to whether or not he\u2019ll be okay. Adam still ain\u2019t breathin\u2019 easy, either.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Laura?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe rolled his eyes. \u201cShe comes in like Adah Menken strutting on the stage, and throws her arms around Will and says \u2018I\u2019m so sorry darling! I never meant it when I said I should\u2019ve married Adam!\u2019 And since then she\u2019s been carryin\u2019 on about how noble Will was to save Adam\u2019s life, and poor Will\u2019s just wriggling like a puppy with a new bone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss chuckled. \u201cPoor Will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe wants to go home now; says he\u2019s a little dizzy but otherwise fine. Doc says he just took about a pint and a half. After you left he took a bunch of boiled water and put salt in it, and then started injecting that right into Adam\u2019s veins with a big glass syringe to make up the rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s he doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStill don\u2019t know. Doc says the biggest danger right now is from the little bit of Pa\u2019s blood that went in him; it might shut down his kidneys.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey weren\u2019t hooked up that long\u2026\u201d Hoss mused.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I\u2019d think too, but I\u2019m not a doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you tell whether the kidneys are workin\u2019 or not, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe made a face. \u201cOnly one way I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I was afraid of.\u201d They went into the bedroom to find their unconscious brother with one hand in a bowl of water, and Paul Martin was swirling a glass jar around and critically examining the contents.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s somethin\u2019 you don\u2019t see every day, eh boys?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026not that<\/em> color, anyway,\u201d Hoss said doubtfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cGee,\u201d Joe muttered. \u201cGuess there\u2019s a reason the town folk call him the Man in Bla\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou hush!\u201d Hoss whispered. \u201cDoc, you gimme that and I\u2019ll take it off someplace. It\u2019d prob\u2019ly make a cactus bloom.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothin\u2019 doin\u2019,\u201d Paul said, putting a lid on the jar. \u201cThis goes with my other specimens.\u201d He indicated the vials from the previous night. \u201cIf I ever get to go home, I\u2019m gonna take all this with me and put it under the microscope. The good news is, looks like your brother\u2019s getting rid of all the toxins in his system. So maybe we\u2019ll keep him alive yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe crossed the room to his father, who still looked stunned. \u201cYou oughtta buck up, Pa. At least you tried.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought we were so much alike, we\u2019d surely have the same kind of blood,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cNaw, Adam must\u2019ve got his blood from his mother. Same reason he reads all them strange books.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s expression slowly changed from haunted to determined. \u201cWell, there\u2019s one way we\u2019re alike. We don\u2019t give up. He\u2019s going to get better.\u201d<\/p>\n

By evening, Laura and Will were gone, and the stuff in the latest jar was a more normal color. The next day, Adam seemed better. The day after that, they chanced taking the wagon and moving him back to the main house. But as the sun set again and the three unwounded Cartwrights started to breathe easy, they found Adam out of his head and a fever setting in; the skin around the wound was inflamed and hot to the touch.<\/p>\n

\u201cInfection.\u201d Paul\u2019s pronouncement confirmed what they already knew. \u201cWhy can\u2019t anything be easy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter 21<\/strong><\/p>\n

The buckskin gelding with the ornate bridle was one Tilly recalled seeing before\u2026and the small \u201cpine tree\u201d brand on his flank was familiar, if not welcome. It wasn\u2019t Adam\u2019s horse, but things had gotten so messed up in her mind that any mention of the Ponderosa or any of its inhabitants came down to a swirling reenactment of Adam pressing her against the wall and kissing her until she couldn\u2019t have told north from south.<\/p>\n

She tucked her emotions safely away and tried to listen to the girl in front of her, but still she kept looking out the window and wondering about that horse.<\/p>\n

Then the door opened quietly and 25 children craned their necks to see the visitor. A low murmur swept through the classroom, but Tilly ignored it. \u201cPlease continue reciting, Darla. You were at \u2018I love thee with a love.<\/em>\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI love thee with a love I seemed to lose<\/em><\/p>\n

With my lost saints\u2014I love thee with the breath,<\/em><\/p>\n

Smiles, tears, of all my life!\u2014and, if God choose,<\/em><\/p>\n

I shall but love thee better after death.<\/em>\u2019 You quit your sniggerin\u2019, Jimmy Marsden!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDarla, you were fine up to a point. Can you tell me when your recitation went out the window?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cProb\u2019ly when I told stupid Jimmy to shut up, Miss Hoffman.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly. Now, you have dreams of being a great actress. Great actresses don\u2019t get frazzled when silly people in the audience annoy them. Remember what I told you about Edwin Booth. And Jimmy, you\u2019re going to get the most romantic bit I can find for your next recitation. How do you think you\u2019ll like that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot one bit, Miss Hoffman!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood, then maybe you\u2019ll think twice about annoying other people when it\u2019s their turn.\u201d<\/p>\n

She finally allowed herself to look at the back of the classroom, where Ben Cartwright was standing, hat in his hands. Honestly, the man thought he could go anywhere and do anything. Probably why Adam was so confounded arrogant.<\/p>\n

Then she looked closer. He looked as if he hadn\u2019t slept in a week. The dark circles under his eyes made them look huge. His shoulders slumped and he was playing with the hat, turning it around and around by the brim with shaking hands. She made her decision. \u201cChildren, I\u2019d like you to work on your writing assignments for a while.\u201d She made her way to the back of the classroom.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Returning to the Ponderosa, Tilly riding silently alongside him on Thunder, Ben wondered for the hundredth time about the girl. Instead of the typical female, or even social, pleasantries, she had gone right to the heart of the matter. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam is ill. He\u2019s asking for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

She took the news without comment, dismissing the class with the announcement that school was out. She grabbed two sheets of foolscap and made one into a sign which he nailed to the door: \u201cSchool out until further notice.\u201d While he put up the sign she wrote a note to Otis at the livery stable. \u201cPlease allow Ben Cartwright to take Thunder.\u201d While he went to the livery stable to pick up Thunder, she ran back to the boarding house and emerged with a small carpetbag. He wondered about the wisdom of putting her up on Thunder, but if Adam had had enough trust in her abilities to rent that horse for her, he could hardly argue. She gave him a brief moment\u2019s panic at the way she scrambled up on the big horse, but once in the saddle she had as good a seat as any he\u2019d seen. Barely taking time to secure the carpetbag, she was ready to go.<\/p>\n

And still no questions. The melting ice on the road had gotten slippery and they slowed to a walk. He wished he could think of something to say to her.<\/p>\n

Adam had been sick four days. Sometimes he was lucid and sometimes delirious. Paul had said that riding around like a damn fool without a coat had probably lowered his resistance, and who knew what kind of nastiness had been on that knife. Certainly having a hemorrhaging spleen, being transfused with the wrong blood and being sick as a dog after that hadn\u2019t helped. His kidneys were all right now, the doctor said, but his lungs weren\u2019t; he was close to pneumonia.<\/p>\n

That morning Adam had thrown a bowl of creamed wheat across the room, screaming that he would never again eat barley when he wanted oats. A couple of hours later he\u2019d been muttering about the lilies of the field again. Paul had thought Adam was quoting the Bible for comfort; Hoss thought he was calling his dog. But then Joe remembered Adam mentioning that Tilly\u2019s childhood name had been Lily Tilly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to apologize, Miss Hoffman,\u201d Ben said at last. \u201cOur acquaintance to this point has not gone well, and that\u2019s largely due to my own impatience.\u201d<\/p>\n

She cocked an eyebrow. \u201cImpatience is one thing. Bullying is another.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrue enough.\u201d He went blank for a moment; fear for his sons could do that. Then he blurted, \u201cHe was stabbed last week, Miss Hoffman.\u201d His voice cracked. \u201cThe surgery didn\u2019t go well, and the wound was infected. He\u2019s had a fever all week. And\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll be all right,\u201d Tilly said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you\u2019re right, Miss Hoffman.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou might as well call me Tilly, sir. You\u2019re going to get to know me better than you ever wanted to and in a very short time, because I won\u2019t be leaving until he doesn\u2019t need me anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, the Tilly Adam had described in his letter was probably worth getting to know better, even if the Tilly Ben had met a few weeks ago had been quite different. Perhaps picking up on his thoughts, she went on: \u201cI would give an awful lot, sir, to start over with you. I hate to make assumptions, but would I be correct in guessing that when you came to see me about Thunder that night, you\u2019d gotten a good earful about me in town already?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAmong other things,\u201d he harrumphed, and looked at the ground. \u201cBut the skillets didn\u2019t help any.\u201d<\/p>\n

She blushed. \u201cI\u2019ll own up to that. But, sir, not that you have any reason to believe me, but I\u2019d say most of what you heard about me is not true. There just are not enough hours in the day to be as depraved as I\u2019m supposed to be and still hold down a job.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that, Miss Tilly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd\u2026I had no idea what to think of you. All three of your boys told me such Herculean tales of your wisdom, courage, and love, but what I heard in town was such a mix of admiration, hatred and fear, that I just couldn\u2019t put it all together.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve since heard a few other stories about you,\u201d Ben offered. \u201cFor instance, you were the one who got Adam back to the house during the fire. That alone would\u2019ve occasioned at least a little trust, had I known before.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked over at Ben. \u201cIs there any chance at all of just starting from scratch again?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tell you what I would rather do,\u201d Ben said. \u201cI\u2019d like us to be friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFriendship usually requires the friends to have at least one thing in common.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe way I see it, we have at least one very important thing in common.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly lowered her eyes at that, and said nothing.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam loves you,\u201d Ben offered.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t believe everything a sick man babbles.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI got a letter from him that was sent before Christmas, telling me he intended to ask you to marry him.\u201d<\/p>\n

She glanced at him, and back at the road.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Tilly,\u201d Ben said, \u201cModern science is a wonderful thing, but the will to live is still the best medicine of all. Please help him.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Adam opened his burning eyes, more irritated than soothed by the sudden cold descending on his face. \u201cGet that off me.\u201d<\/p>\n

The voice that responded was not one of the ones he had expected. \u201cMake me, you puny thing. \u2018O mighty Caesar, dost thou lie so low?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

He grinned involuntarily, and looked up through a red haze to see Tilly. \u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been wondering\u2026do you think King Lear was a misogynist?\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Peggy Dayton was moping along on her pony when she saw Johnny Caldecott and Jimmy Marsden near the creek.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019re you playing?\u201d she asked them.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re playin\u2019 Civil War,\u201d Jimmy replied. \u201cHe\u2019s Grant and I\u2019m Lee, and this time he\u2019s gonna get his fanny whupped.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I play?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow the heck can a girl play Civil War?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI could be Queen Victoria. Remember what Miss Tilly said\u2014if the South could\u2019ve got England involved, the South might have won. And if the North could\u2019ve got England on their side they might have won the war sooner. You both have to try and gain my favor so I\u2019ll send my army and navy over to help, because remember I\u2019m so powerful that the sun never sets on the British Empire<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOoh, that\u2019s great. We can spy against each other too, to see who\u2019s doing better with you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanna play too!\u201d Simon Elden ran up. \u201cWhat\u2019re you playing?\u201d<\/p>\n

They quickly explained. \u201cWho are you gonna be, Simon?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna be the Territory of Nevada.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t be a territory!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, if she can be England, I can be Nevada Territory! Besides, my huge silver mines are gonna make me important. If I come in as a free state the Union gets my money. If I stay a territory we can sneak money to the Confederacy!\u201d<\/p>\n

Dave Jordan, of the Virginia City School Board, came home from his day job at the bank to find his sons Orrin and Lorrie delightedly describing to their mother how they had played Civil War with nine other kids down by the stream.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho won?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cEverybody!\u201d they replied.<\/p>\n

Orrin explained. \u201cThe Prussians decided to invade and the North and South had to band together to get the Prussians out. Meanwhile the Canadians made a deal with the Confederacy where they would send down people every fall and winter when it\u2019s too cold in Canada, and so they would have free workers in the fields, and the Mexicans would send people over every spring and summer when it\u2019s too hot in Mexico, and the South would free their slaves but the North had to pay to educate them and all the states had to give them jobs.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lorrie added, \u201cThe North had to eliminate all those taxes on cotton, too. And England had to set Canada free just like they freed us, and they also had to give India back to the real Indians.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh\u2026huh,\u201d Dave managed. \u201cWho were you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCanada and Mexico.\u201d<\/p>\n

He turned to Orrin. \u201cAnd who were you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cClive of India. But I had to get special defenestration from the Pope to come back from the dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean special dispensation!\u201d Lorrie cried. \u201cThat\u2019s easing up on the law. Defenestration is throwing somebody out the window.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDefene\u2026what?\u201d Dave asked. \u201cAre these words you learned in school?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, before Miss Tilly quit she taught us. She knew lots of words. History too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean she quit?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe let us out early on Tuesday and put a note on the door that school was out until further notice. Since we knew she was getting fired anyway we figgered she quit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2014how come you fired her, anyhow? Pa, she was the only teacher we ever had that wasn\u2019t boring.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe wouldn\u2019t dare quit!\u201d Dave cried. \u201cYou two haven\u2019t been in school since Tuesday?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa. The school house\u2019s been shut up tight as Ebenezer Scrooge.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s Ebenezer Scrooge?\u201d<\/p>\n

This set both boys to laughing so hard that Dave was unable to get anything further from them, but it did start him thinking.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Ben began to wonder when Tilly slept. She was by the bed morning, noon and night. She only left when Adam made her, and she didn\u2019t stay gone long then. A man couldn\u2019t ask for a better nurse, Ben thought, whether it was administering medicine, helping him eat and wash, changing his linen, or reading to him. About the only things she couldn\u2019t do were those forbidden by propriety, and he had an idea that she only observed the proprieties because of Adam\u2019s insistence on it. He also noticed Adam\u2019s weak laughter several times.<\/p>\n

The funny thing was she never seemed to exhibit any feelings, one way or the other. \u201cI know Adam loves her,\u201d he said to Joe, \u201cbut has she ever said how she feels about him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but, uh, I wouldn\u2019t advise you to ask, either,\u201d Joe replied with a grin, just as Hoss came in with a telegram.<\/p>\n

Ben read it aloud. \u201cPrice is firm at ten thousand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t like it, Pa.\u201d Little Joe crossed his arms. \u201cI\u2019ll agree that Adam did go as high as $10,000 for her\u2026but we don\u2019t even know what shape she\u2019s in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, she was sheddin\u2019 huge hunks of fur off her coat right after you come home anyhow, Pa,\u201d Hoss said, uneasily twirling a piece of straw in his big fingers. \u201cDon\u2019t make no sense for a dog\u2019s fur to come out in chunks like that, not in the middle of winter. She must\u2019ve been sick.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a chance I\u2019ll take if it means helping Adam. One of you should come along\u2014she doesn\u2019t even like me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked doubtful. \u201cI don\u2019t like the idea of leaving him, Pa\u2014even if he does seem better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s true, Pa\u2026he\u2019s only actin\u2019 better \u2019cause Tilly\u2019s here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Ben said. \u201cTilly says he\u2019s going to be better. And she seems pretty determined. I\u2019d even guess that he wants to be better, now. I\u2019ll take the chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss threw the piece of straw into the fireplace and sighed. \u201cWell then, I\u2019ll go. Lady likes me, and I\u2019m the only one big enough to carry her anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, you two hitch the wagon and Hoss, pack a bag. We leave within the hour. Joe, you\u2019re in charge.\u201d<\/p>\n

At the doorway to Adam\u2019s room, Ben paused for a quick prayer. Then he went in. Adam was sleeping restlessly. Tilly was looking out the window; she jumped as Ben entered the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Tilly\u2026urgent business calls me away. Hoss and I will be gone about four days. Will you be all right with Little Joe and Hop Sing?\u201d<\/p>\n

She just looked at him for a minute. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t be comfortable leaving him if I were you, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not comfortable. But I hope I can trust you to take care of him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou could do that anyway. But I don\u2019t advise leaving, at least not before the fever breaks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou said it had gone down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s true. But it\u2019s not consistent, and he\u2019s very weak\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Tilly, I told you once before I intended to do everything I could to make my son well. That\u2019s what I\u2019m doing.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked at him silently. Ben had gotten used to being stared at over the years; his various rivals and outright enemies had tried that tactic on him many times. They were never successful. But Tilly was. He looked away, swallowing. \u201cI have to go. That\u2019s all I can say.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re going after Lady, as I think you are, I can tell you the man who has her is a lying, thieving\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo I\u2019ve heard. But he has set a firm price on the dog and I\u2019m willing to pay it. I took out a loan this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou took out a loan<\/em>?\u201d Tilly\u2019s face darkened. \u201cI hope that man roasts over hot coals\u2026But listen to me, Mr. Cartwright, please. You\u2019re Adam\u2019s father. He needs you here. If you want Lady, I can go and get her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think so. I\u2019ve already heard too much about your strained relations with your uncle. And besides\u2026\u201d he looked at Adam for a minute, then down at the floor. \u201cAdam recently reminded me that he is a grown man\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s no reason to leave. He needs his family here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben said tightly, \u201cI have no idea how you regard my son, Miss Tilly, and it\u2019s your business, so I won\u2019t ask. But I know he loves you. A few years ago there was another girl he loved, and because I wasn\u2019t sure the girl existed, and because Adam was sick, I wouldn\u2019t let him look for her. I\u2019ve been losing him a piece at a time since then. I\u2019m still not sure she existed, but I know what I did to him ran a lot deeper than his feeling for the girl. He thought I was telling him that I didn\u2019t have the trust in him to let him make his own decision. And what I\u2019ve done since going to Kansas only reinforced that. Well, I\u2019m not in Kansas anymore. I can\u2019t always have my own way. I can\u2019t move mountains. I couldn\u2019t even save Adam last week when he was bleeding to death. I had to let Will do it. And now\u2026I know Adam loves me, and his family, but I also know we\u2019re not enough right now. So I\u2019m doing everything I can to bring in the others he needs to even the odds. I brought you to him for two reasons, Miss Tilly. For one reason, because he was asking for you. But for the other\u2026sometimes, no matter how hard it is, a man has to let his children go. I\u2019ve been hanging onto Adam for most of 35 years now. It\u2019s time to let him go\u2014and you\u2019re the one he wants to go to.\u201d<\/p>\n

With that he took one last look at his firstborn, then turned and walked out.<\/p>\n

Chapter 22<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hop Sing had spent the last week praying to every god he could think of, and once he had run through all the Cantonese gods, he started on the Mandarin gods as well: all eight gods of the Ba Xian, Chu Jiang, the god of the underworld, Di-Cang, the Buddhist god who released souls from the underworld, Gong De Tian, the goddess of luck\u2014and especially Wei-Tuo, the god of teaching. He hoped Wei-Tuo had been watching Tilly, and if so, perhaps Tilly\u2019s wishes counted with him. Hop Sing even took a chance on praying to the Christian God, although He was a bit scary since He had the reputation of not liking other gods. But drastic situations called for drastic measures, so Hop Sing prayed.<\/p>\n

He was concerned about Adam\u2019s survival, of course. But he never had believed Adam would die. Hop Sing was sure he could tell people\u2019s fates\u2014although he never did\u2014and he knew Adam would live for a long, long time. He was more concerned about Adam\u2019s spleen. The Chinese, unlike Westerners, believed the spleen had a purpose. It was the center of the sense of humor. Adam had always had a different spleen, Hop Sing was certain, and that was why so many people, even within his family, misunderstood him. How would the man get by with no spleen at all? Would he give in completely to the world and become one of those dour, humorless fellows that went through life alone?<\/p>\n

He heard Tilly make some offhand remark that made no sense. Then a sudden burst of Adam\u2019s laughter startled him, followed by Adam saying, sternly, \u201cDon\u2019t do that again! It hurts my side!\u201d<\/p>\n

Her not-terribly-contrite reply followed: \u201cI\u2019ll never be funny again, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing smiled then, understanding. Tilly would be Adam\u2019s spleen now\u2014if she stayed. He sent another prayer to Wei-Tuo, the god of teaching, in hopes that she would.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not Blake Weston,\u201d Ben said to the fellow who greeted him. \u201cI\u2019m not giving my money to anyone else. The telegram never stipulated anything about that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m the kennel master, sir. Abe Tate. Mr. Weston has taken ill. I\u2019m to have you sign this contract and I\u2019ll take your money, after which I will release the dog to you and provide a bill of sale.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben had no intention of doing business along those lines, but out of curiosity he took the contract.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2018I agree to pay the sum of $10,000 to Blake Weston for the purebred whole Scotch collie, Gray Lily of the Westons, henceforth known as Lily. For this sum I shall receive the dog herself and one wooden crate for transport.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2018All progeny of Lily belongs to Blake Weston and shall be returned to him after weaning\u2026\u2019 What?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss, sitting in the wagon, didn\u2019t like the look of the place. It was clean and well-kept but artificial. The five collies he saw were beautiful, but they seemed detached from their surroundings, uninterested. He hated the wire runs they were imprisoned in. And he didn\u2019t see Lady. He applied the brake, tied the reins, and got down. While his father and the kennel master were in conversation he decided to stretch his legs.<\/p>\n

\u201cLily is a producer, Mr. Cartwright. She was in full season when Mr. Weston returned with her and so was bred immediately.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBred? She was ill when she left my ranch\u2014she was losing large patches of fur in midwinter. Don\u2019t you know it\u2019s bad to breed a sick animal?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tate sighed. \u201cMr. Cartwright, the condition you\u2019re describing is called \u2018blowing coat\u2019 and it\u2019s common when a female collie comes into season. Lily was just entering her season when she left you. By the time she got here, she was ready. If things went well, she\u2019s carrying a litter now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, \u2018if things went well\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tate looked even more uncomfortable. \u201cIn spite of her condition, Lily had to be restrained,\u201d he shrugged. \u201cBut, Mr. Cartwright, had I accompanied Mr. Weston to Virginia City as I wished, I would have advocated simply selling the dog outright, and if you had not wanted her, I probably would have had her shot. Collies are unusual dogs. They become attached to one family, and all their training and loyalty goes to that family. It\u2019s very difficult to send them elsewhere and have them become attached.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut this dog is full-grown. Why did she bond with Adam, why not someone before?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLily was a kennel dog. She received her training there at the hands of many different kennel men and trainers. Mr. Weston intended Lily as an exhibitor. Her training, intelligence and beauty made her ideally suited to represent the collie breed, as long as she never really bonded with anyone. It\u2019s a shame she was so damaged while in your care, and a shame she bonded with your family. In fact, she is the reason for Mr. Weston\u2019s illness, and the only reason she is still alive is that your telegram arrived in time to stop him shooting her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re telling me she attacked Weston.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe did. He and she had only met a couple of times before her arrival here, and when he attempted to hold her still for breeding, she didn\u2019t react well. She attacked both Mr. Weston and Black Clover.\u201d Tate took a deep breath. \u201cYou may as well know that Mr. Weston beat her pretty severely after we got her away from him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWill she live?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think so. But if she\u2019s carrying, the litter may be compromised.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell me, Mr. Tate, do you approve of what your employer is doing here with these dogs?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tate looked at the ground. \u201cIt\u2019s not my place to approve or disapprove. They\u2019re his dogs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa! Hey, Pa!\u201d Ben looked around; Hoss was nowhere to be seen. He started off after the voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t go back there, sir!\u201d Tate cried, running after him.<\/p>\n

Ben looked almost amused as Tate grabbed him by the arm. \u201cMr. Tate, I hope you brought some butter and jam along for your hand, because if it stays there I\u2019m going to feed it back to you. Hoss, where are you?\u201d He trotted in the direction of Hoss\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

He smelled the place before he got there, then he heard it\u2014the din raised by the other 12 dogs was ferocious\u2014but seeing it was worse. Lady\u2019s \u201crun\u201d was more like a chicken\u2019s nesting box, just a little bigger. The dog was lying in her own filth. She hadn\u2019t bothered to lift her head on Hoss\u2019s arrival.<\/p>\n

Ben turned to Tate, who arrived, panting, behind him. \u201cWhat is the meaning of this?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tate shrugged helplessly. \u201cThis isn\u2019t my area of responsibility. This is the producer portion of the kennel, not the flagship; I work up front. I was instructed to get the check from you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWeston said she was a $3,000 dog. This is how he treats his $3,000 dogs?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tate was beginning to look frightened. \u201cSir, Weston decides all this. Not me. I know she has refused food almost since she\u2019s been here and yesterday she wouldn\u2019t even drink any water. I would advise you to just let her die and not involve yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot involve myself? Not INVOLVE myself? And even knowing as much as you do, you neither approve or disapprove because they\u2019re not your dogs? Mr. Tate, I\u2019m nobody\u2019s idea of a dog man, but even I know that if you want decent progeny, you keep the producers healthy. You have two choices, Mr. Tate. You can either go get your employer and I\u2019ll tell him my plans or you can listen yourself\u2014which do you want to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Weston is not reachable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, then you make the decision. I can send Hoss into Reno right now and come back with the sheriff and have Mr. Weston and you jailed for fraudulent business practices.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe contract specifies\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI happen to keep a couple of lawyers in regular business myself; do you really want to tangle with me? You don\u2019t charge $10,000 for a half-dead animal. I can also bring a charge of insurance fraud since we know that Weston was already paid off for this dog\u2019s supposed death and he never reimbursed the insurer. Now either I go for the sheriff and you and your employer both go to jail, or we will renegotiate this contract.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUm\u2026what do you mean, renegotiate?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPart one\u2014Lady is sold to me outright. I will pay $5,000, not ten, and you\u2019re still getting a healthy profit considering the insurance money Weston collected. Part two\u2014any and all puppies this poor dog may give birth to, if she lives, and they live, are also mine. Part three\u2014if Blake Weston ever shows his face on the Ponderosa, I will shoot him outright. Now would you like to make out a bill of sale or do I bring the sheriff?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026I don\u2019t have that authority.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen get Weston.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen I\u2019m getting the sheriff.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled. \u201cOh, yes I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right! I\u2019ll make out a bill of sale!\u201d He pulled a book from his jacket pocket. \u201cI\u2019ll lose my job for this\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe greatest shame about that is that you want to continue working for the man!\u201d Ben snapped.<\/p>\n

Hoss unlatched the kennel door. \u201cLady, come. Come on, girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lady looked at him. Her nose twitched a couple of times, and then she lifted her head and looked again. She got up on three legs and limped out, whimpering in fussy tones at Hoss the whole time, but she came to him with her stubby tail wagging. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry, little gal, I didn\u2019t know.\u201d He let her lick his face while he felt her all over. \u201cFront right leg\u2019s broke, Pa. She\u2019s lost a good 15 pounds. Think she\u2019s got a couple of busted ribs, too. But that\u2019s okay; we fixed her up once. We\u2019ll do it again. And we\u2019ll skip the crate. I\u2019ll hold her on my lap.\u201d He picked her up and carried her back to the wagon.<\/p>\n

Ben counted the cash and held it out to Tate, who handed him the bill of sale. Ben took it and placed it in his pocket, then tore the contract in half and returned it. \u201cYou can convey a message to your employer, Mr. Tate. I\u2019m a God-fearing man but this needs saying. You tell your employer that I stood in the middle of his kennel surrounded by dogs and puppies, but the only sons of bitches I know of are walking on two legs and calling themselves \u2018mister.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Tilly didn\u2019t know if it was the fever making him restless and bad-tempered, or the unexplained absence of his father and brother, or if there was some other reason entirely, but Adam was sweating and shaky, with no appetite. She was able to bully him into eating, or occasionally able to use her humor to get him to eat, but today nothing worked. He was irritable with everyone\u2026and even in his sleep he was still mumbling about lilies. She never wanted to hear the word or see that particular flower again.<\/p>\n

She picked up a volume of \u201ccollected poetry\u201d and randomly started reading.<\/p>\n

\u201cHad we world enough and time,<\/em><\/p>\n

This coyness, Lady, were no crime.<\/em><\/p>\n

We would sit down and think which way<\/em><\/p>\n

To walk and\u2014<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot that one,\u201d Adam snapped.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you liked Marvell. He was friends with your buddy Milton, for Pete\u2019s sake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDammit, Tilly, do not make me repeat myself. I don\u2019t want to hear that one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou just repeated yourself anyway. What\u2019s got you so riled up?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just don\u2019t want to hear it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly sighed and took up Les Mis\u00e9rables<\/em> instead, and read from it a full 45 minutes, until he went back to sleep. As usual it was a fitful sleep. She wondered how long this fever could drag on. The thought occurred to her that maybe that was why Adam didn\u2019t want to hear that poem. There was never enough world, nor enough time.<\/p>\n

She picked up the volume again and read for a while, quietly.<\/p>\n

And then she smiled, almost involuntarily, and said softly,<\/p>\n

\u201cLet us roll all our strength and all<\/em><\/p>\n

Our sweetness up into one ball,<\/em><\/p>\n

And tear our pleasures with rough strife<\/em><\/p>\n

Through the iron gates of life\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Adam awoke while she was reciting, and she looked quickly to see if he had heard, or was upset. His eyes were unguarded as he looked at her, and again she saw that bottomless, shell-blasted soul.<\/p>\n

He closed his eyes wearily and whispered,<\/p>\n

\u201cThus, though we cannot make our sun<\/em><\/p>\n

Stand still, yet we will make him run.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

She laid a gentle hand on his forehead.<\/p>\n

The fever had broken.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

It was late at night when Ben, Hoss and Lady returned to the Ponderosa. They had been gone five days, a little extra snow slowing them down. It had been hard finding places to stay on the way home as well, but they had managed to get Lady bathed and her leg splinted.<\/p>\n

They sneaked in as quietly as they could. Joe was in bed, sound asleep. Tilly was sitting by Adam\u2019s bed next to a nodding-off Adam, as she read aloud from Les Mis\u00e9rables<\/em>. \u201cThere is also a difference in the intensity of heat; insurrection is often a volcano, revolt is often only a fire of straw.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cRevolt, as we have said, is sometimes found among those in power. Polignac is a rioter; Camille Desmoulins is one of the governing powers.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cInsurrection is sometimes resurrection\u2026<\/em>\u201d She glanced at Adam, smiled, and closed the book. Then she looked up and saw the new arrivals. Putting one finger to her lips, she crept out of the room. \u201cHe couldn\u2019t sleep, so I read to him. Hugo\u2019s great for putting people to sleep. The man got paid by the word.\u201d She looked at Lady in Hoss\u2019s arms. \u201cWelcome back, troublemaker.\u201d She rubbed the dog\u2019s cheek, and Lady licked her fingers. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you put her on the bed with Adam? He always said she was good to wake up to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben asked anxiously, \u201cHow is he?\u201d<\/p>\n

A grin. \u201cRight as rain. Fever broke day before yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n

A \u201cwhoop\u201d escaped Ben\u2019s lungs before he thought about it\u2014and likewise, before he had given it any thought, he tossed Tilly in the air and kissed her full on the mouth before she ever hit the ground.<\/p>\n

Tilly crossed her arms and looked up at him, grinning. \u201cWhat do you know. Like father, like son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s really well? He\u2019s up and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

She shook her head. \u201cJust like a man. Fever broke, and so he decided he needed to be up and about. First thing he did was start planning out a couple new projects. Not only that but he was determined to start on implementation, too. Joe wasn\u2019t having much luck persuading him to stay down, but Hilliard and I finally convinced him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho the devil is Hilliard?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly pointed back to her chair; sitting next to it was an evil-looking cast-iron skillet. \u201cYou might want to keep Hilliard there handy until Adam really is well. I\u2019m pretty sure you\u2019ll need him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAren\u2019t you staying?\u201d Ben asked as Hoss took Lady over to the bed. Lady immediately crawled over to Adam and licked his face all over. He didn\u2019t wake up, but he smiled, turned on his side and curled around her, laying one arm over her side.<\/p>\n

Tilly shook her head, pointing at the contented pair. \u201cHe\u2019s fine now; he doesn\u2019t need me anymore. And I have things to do in town.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut surely you\u2019ll wait until morning\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo; I need to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen let me saddle Buck and I\u2019ll ride with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou will not; you\u2019re half asleep now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou listen here, young lady\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

She grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the door. \u201cYou\u2019re gonna wake up everybody with this racket. Now listen; Adam and I have already been through this. I don\u2019t need an escort and I do need to leave. I thank you kindly for your concern, but you need to go to bed. I\u2019ll see you soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, wait\u2014\u201d the anxiety on Ben\u2019s face stopped her. \u201cI shouldn\u2019t butt in this way, but\u2026you didn\u2019t mean that, did you, that he doesn\u2019t need you now\u2026you do know he loves you, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo me just one favor, sir\u2026don\u2019t ever let him start calling that dog Lily. Her name is Lady.\u201d She gave him a lopsided smile and patted his arm. Then she galloped down the stairs, grabbed her carpetbag and cloak, and was gone.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Tilly really was desperate to get back to the boarding house. Whether simple cabin fever, the fact that her monthly had caught her unprepared that morning, or her increasing desire to say something to Adam about their last encounter (while having no idea what to say), she could only think of \u201cfight or flight.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had never once mentioned his proposal earlier that month, never mentioned that kiss in the schoolhouse that had practically sent her into the sky. He was acting as if nothing had ever happened and they were just the friends they had always been. Well\u2026the friends he<\/em> thought they had always been. She had fallen for him months ago.<\/p>\n

Not at first sight, heavens no. He wasn\u2019t her physical type. Little Joe was more the type of man she gravitated to. The first time she\u2019d met Joe she had felt an uneasy resurrection of a long-dampened spark. He had been drawn to her as well, but within half an hour they both knew they\u2019d never be more than friends. They had nothing in common, and her mother\u2014who had always been remarkably open, if abstruse, about marital matters\u2014had once told her, \u201cBeware handsome men, Tilly. They may be pleasant to look upon, and they may be wonderful lovers. But at some point you\u2019ll simply have to talk to them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam was handsome enough, but in a dark, almost sinister way she had never liked. Besides, the man was arrogant as a tomcat. Difficult to believe he was related to\u2014much less the brother of\u2014the angelic-looking Little Joe. (Almost as difficult to believe the giant cherub Hoss was related to them both.) But when she met Adam, he had neither patronized her nor propositioned her\u2026and he\u2019d ended their interview with that jaunty challenge about owing him a Chopin waltz. Somehow, that left her smiling. (Maybe, she told herself, it was just that she seldom met anyone who had heard of Chopin.) When he had told her the position was hers, there had been a real warmth in his indefinable eyes when he had said \u201cYou earned it.\u201d<\/p>\n

He had invited her home for dinner one Sunday, and she had enjoyed the whole afternoon\u2014until he got all quiet and moody and told Hoss to take her home, and she\u2019d wondered what she had said to offend him. But Hoss\u2014kindest man she had ever known\u2014had told her, \u201cDon\u2019t let Adam get to you, Miss Tilly. He\u2019s a lot like you in one regard. The same way you worried about your little brothers, he worries about me an\u2019 Little Joe, even though we\u2019re as grown up as he is. And any time somebody talks about having little brothers who died\u2026well, let\u2019s just say Adam thinks too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

She could understand that. She was the oldest child herself, and a girl in the home of a man who had desperately wanted a houseful of sons. Rheinhard Hoffman was a good man, but he had no idea what to do when his wife of five years finally carried a child to term and it was only a girl. She\u2019d grown up in an odd fashion, learning romance and literature from her mother, learning things boys normally learned from her father\u2014how to drive a team, how to keep an account book, how to stand her ground against bullies, how to negotiate a hard deal (\u201cnever, Lily Tilly, can you let other people know what you are thinking. It is death to anyone in business\u201d) because he thought he would never have any sons. She had been seven when her twin siblings\u2014the long awaited boys\u2014finally arrived. And since those two little boys mattered to her father more than she did, she swore to take care of them no matter what\u2026a promise she had failed at. Just as she had failed at the female side of things\u2014no husband, no children.<\/p>\n

She remembered Adam walking in on her one Saturday when she was moodily reminiscing about Bensabat and playing \u201cA La Una.\u201d He\u2019d had no idea anything was wrong, of course, and she ended up having a wonderful time teaching him the song. Lord, the man had a lovely voice\u2014and he seemed to think all people were just people. It that was a refreshing notion.<\/p>\n

There were many things she remembered about that particular meeting with Adam. His quoting Lovelace\u2026the arrival of Peggy Dayton\u2026the absolute field day Mrs. O\u2019Reilly had had, speaking of the situation afterwards. \u201cAnd to think, I always thought it was true when they said that Laura and Will were slipping out on Adam. I guess we know now, don\u2019t we?\u201d<\/p>\n

She remembered the completely impassive face Adam had turned to her when she mentioned the Cartwright curse\u2014but for one unguarded moment, the hurt showed. And she remembered the sudden glimmer that had flared to life in his eyes, giving them a strangely passionate look, when she had told him how she felt about teaching. She remembered thinking that he was a man who understood the deeper feelings\u2026and she remembered that it was hard to look him in the eye, for fear of what he might see there.<\/p>\n

And then there had been those dances\u2026darn those dances! She loved to waltz, and had always been good at it\u2026but as soon as he touched her she\u2019d frozen. He accepted her two left feet as a matter of course; he even seemed a bit irritated when she had begged off future waltzes. Only then, they started talking about\u2026Chaucer, was it? They\u2019d had so many literary discussions since then, and oh great heavens, the way they\u2019d talked, making points and jokes that no one else understood.<\/p>\n

Somehow their subsequent meetings had all melded together after that, because when she wasn\u2019t with him, she was wishing for it, and when she was with him, their whole time together was one long and passionate discussion of everything she loved, one long joke about everything she found funny, and just how often did you meet anyone whose brain had the same ticklish spots as your own?<\/p>\n

Tilly had always assumed the Ponderosa had a lot of regular visitors; their parties were legendary. Surely the house would be full when Hoss and Little Joe were hurt, she\u2019d thought\u2014and had been shocked to find Adam alone and reeling on his feet with only Hop Sing to help. She\u2019d sworn then to come back every night until the boys were able to do for themselves again. Sometimes she wondered how she had managed it herself, getting by on four hours\u2019 sleep each day\u2026but how could she leave anyone, especially Adam, alone and in need?<\/p>\n

So many talks. She discovered his family\u2014so unlike hers\u2014had many points in common anyway: the wise but sometimes overbearing father, the responsible oldest child, the shy and sweet second child, and the wild and crazy youngest one (half an hour younger than his brother), and in a sense felt as if she had found a new family. Adam had done her a real favor that day, in whatever anger he was in, reminding her that she was an outsider; she had started getting way too comfortable, way too open, around him\u2014after all, the man was still a member of the school board. The night Hoss and Joe came around, Adam had kissed her. Thank God he had kissed the dog too, or Tilly might have kissed him back. And that would never do\u2026but it was getting harder not to let it show. Her reputation was already plummeting all over town as gossip spread about her nightly trips.<\/p>\n

Then the fire\u2026oh Lord, that fire! Finding him sprawled across Beauty, covered in crusting blood on the freezing cold ground had turned her insides to sour buttermilk. But Little Joe had been there, making her keep her focused. She remembered crying on Hop Sing\u2019s shoulder when they were waiting for the doctor; thank goodness Hoss and Joe hadn\u2019t been around then. Hop Sing seemed to know it all anyway. \u201cDon\u2019t worry, Missy Tilly. He will be fine and mean as ever very soon, wait and see.\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019d made her mad in those days, trying to do too much for himself, not letting her take care of him, and worrying endlessly about her instead of himself. She\u2019d just about had a cow that night he\u2019d gotten all concerned with propriety. And then she thought he\u2019d probably been right, because she was starting to look for excuses to touch him\u2026and becoming wildly envious of the dog who could press against him, sleep with her head on his chest\u2026and no one ever thought a thing about it.<\/p>\n

\u201cBeowulf\u2026\u201d somehow, it seemed something clicked into place. Sometimes she would catch him with that dark, unfathomable look, and she wondered if it meant what she was starting to hope it meant. But he\u2019d never said a word.<\/p>\n

He had been her Rock of Gibraltar when her father died\u2014steady, comforting, almost affectionate\u2014but she\u2019d been too wrapped up in her own grief and guilt to think about it. And while he hadn\u2019t understood what was going on with Blake, he\u2019d been awfully forbearing about it. He hadn\u2019t even run screaming into the night when he found out the truth.<\/p>\n

And then had come that awful day nearly a month ago when he had shown up looking like death. She\u2019d tried so hard to help him keep Lady\u2026and then Adam had, completely out of nowhere, after changing the subject three times or more, just casually suggested that they get married. As if it was something they had both planned and discussed, as if it was not a shock from the blue sky. And he was so obviously sick, and in pain about the dog, she\u2019d come close to saying yes. Never marry someone if you\u2019re not absolutely sure you both love each other<\/em>, her mother had said. She knew she loved Adam; she had no idea how he felt about her. He had still never said \u201cI love you.\u201d In fact, he hadn\u2019t said it the day he\u2019d kissed her in the schoolhouse, either; he\u2019d just taken for granted that everyone knew. The myth of \u201ceveryone knew\u201d had become the bane of her existence. \u201cEveryone knew\u201d they were intimate. \u201cEveryone knew\u201d that she had been married five times. The only thing she knew for sure was that she loved him\u2014everything about him, his strength, integrity, humor, intellect\u2026even the stubbornness, occasional arrogance, and the mean streak that she seemed to bring out in him. It wasn\u2019t fair to feel that way and have him, without saying a thing to her or asking how she felt, to assume that \u201ceveryone knew.\u201d<\/p>\n

Everyone knew he\u2019d gone to see a fancy lady too, but at least that\u2014however horrifying\u2014was true. And it wasn\u2019t all that horrifying, either, when she thought about it. The Spaniards had a saying, \u201cWhen you can\u2019t be with the woman you love, love the woman you\u2019re with.\u201d<\/p>\n

That kiss in the schoolhouse had been an eye-opener. Once things got past a certain point, Tilly had had only a vague idea of how things worked between mating couples. Her mother had put so much poetry and so few details into their talks that it was easy to walk away confused. In the end she had only the barnyard animals she\u2019d seen, and some girlish gossip\u2026except that it sounded rather frightening, more emotionally than physically. She wasn\u2019t sure she could stand allowing herself to be that vulnerable, unless the man in question was vulnerable as well, and that wasn\u2019t likely. Men didn\u2019t like being vulnerable. Bensabat and Harold both had acted as if they were immortal. But it was different with Adam\u2014maybe it was just because he had seen death, or been close to it himself, so often.<\/p>\n

Strange, that God would put so many feelings into a kiss, and then invent something genuinely mysterious after it\u2026only, for something she knew relatively little about in spite of all her mother\u2019s discourses, she knew when Adam had kissed her silly and stood heart to heart there with her, she knew she didn\u2019t just love him anymore; she wanted<\/em> him, too. And she knew from that one little look at his battered soul that even if it wasn\u2019t brand new and sparkling clean, it was the soul that she wanted to accompany hers in life\u2019s journey\u2026and that it would be one long and empty trip otherwise.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

She took the sign down from the schoolhouse door that night, and the next day eight children were there. The following day all 25 had shown up. Then it was the weekend, and it felt oddly lonely, not having anywhere to go. She supposed she could have gone to the Ponderosa, but she really had no notion what kind of reception she would receive. While she liked them all, she was back to not knowing what to expect from Adam. He hadn\u2019t renewed his proposal even when he was well enough to have meaningful conversations, so she had no idea what he thought now. He had certainly not showered her with kisses or even favored her with any of those intense looks. Maybe as far as he was concerned she had turned him down and hurt him; he had hurt her and walked away, so they were even. And in that case, maybe he didn\u2019t intend to do or say anything.<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t expect him to be up and around yet, so there was no possibility of his showing up with an invitation back to the ranch, even in the friendly way he used to do. And she was a woman; it wasn\u2019t her place or her right to go chasing after him. So, a lonely and empty life it would be, but while pining away and dying for love made for great novels, in real life it wasn\u2019t fun or practical. She began planning her last two months as a teacher in Virginia City, for the winter term would be over in April, and so would her job.<\/p>\n

She found two pieces of mail waiting at the post office\u2014rather a surprise as she seldom received mail. One was a letter from Spain; the second, a large wrapped package from Savannah. Both piqued her interest. But as she was carrying them back to the boarding house, she saw Cochise and Chubb in front of the Sazarac, and she headed for the swinging doors, fueled by her loneliness combined with the thought that she\u2019d certainly been accused of visiting saloons often enough.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, look who\u2019s here\u2014the goodbye girl,\u201d Joe called out with a wave from his table, and she instantly headed his way.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Tilly, this ain\u2019t gonna do your reputation no good at all,\u201d Hoss said in concern.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no reputation to hurt these days,\u201d she replied cheerfully. \u201cHow\u2019s the sick boy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think we\u2019d be relaxin\u2019 like this if he was still in any danger?\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just mean, how is he feeling now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA bit torn,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t\u2019ve believed how glad he was to see Lady there. On the other hand, you also wouldn\u2019t believe what happened when he found out you weren\u2019t there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou oughtta go pay a visit to the Ponderosa today, Miss Tilly,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cHe\u2019d be awful glad to see you. So would Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly chuckled. \u201cThe idea of your father being glad to see me takes a bit of getting used to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026\u201d Hoss shrugged. \u201cYou took some getting used to as far as Pa was concerned too. But Cartwrights warm up fast once we decide to like somebody.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you bring us a present?\u201d Joe asked, pointing to the package in her hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what it is,\u201d she replied. \u201cI just picked up my mail, and here it was.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I know what it is, if it\u2019s from Savannah,\u201d Joe said, and she looked at him in surprise.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is\u2026and how do you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you mind opening it?\u201d he handed her his pocketknife. \u201cIf it\u2019s what I think it is, Adam will want to know.\u201d<\/p>\n

She cut the string and removed the heavy brown paper to find a picture sandwiched between two pieces of thin wood. The picture\u2014a photograph, not a painting\u2014was pressed between several more sheets of heavy brown paper.\u00a0 A small envelope fluttered loose during the unwrapping process, but she ignored it in her curiosity about the photograph.<\/p>\n

The photograph showed two tombstones, side by side, in a place she had visited once before\u2014the Bonaventure Cemetery, right outside Savannah. Her mother had been some distant relation of Peter Wiltberger and thus had been buried there\u2026but how had her father found a resting place there as well? But there he was; the second tombstone was a matching red granite, probably mined in Elberton like her mother\u2019s, and there was her father\u2019s name on it: \u201cRheinhard Hoffman, Beloved Husband and Father, April 9, 1809 – December 27, 1868.\u201d<\/p>\n

A couple of tears leaked from the corners of her eyes as Joe looked over her shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood job.\u201d He retrieved the forgotten envelope and handed it to her.<\/p>\n

Miss Hoffman,<\/em><\/p>\n

We have carried out your request of January 2, 1869 from Messrs A. & J. Cartwright, regarding final disposition of your father\u2019s mortal remains. Per the Cartwrights\u2019 request I have arranged for this photograph to be taken and delivered to you as well. As I do not have any contact information for them other than the address of their bank, I hope you will convey to the Cartwrights that their instructions were fully obeyed.<\/em><\/p>\n

My condolences on your loss.<\/em><\/p>\n

Yrs, etc.<\/em><\/p>\n

Milton James<\/em><\/p>\n

Director<\/em><\/p>\n

Randolph Home for the Insane<\/em><\/p>\n

She stared at Joe. \u201cHow\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s idea,\u201d he replied. \u201cHe gave the instructions before Roy carted him off to jail that day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can never pay this back,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam thought he\u2019d be marrying you,\u201d Hoss said quietly. \u201cHe figgered any feller would do as much for his girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

The tears were welling faster than she could blink them away. \u201cI have to go.\u201d She headed blindly out the door.<\/p>\n

Joe grinned at Hoss. \u201cBoy, you know how to spread it pretty thick, yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it was true,\u201d Hoss said, winking. \u201cIt ain\u2019t like I was tryin\u2019 to trick her into comin\u2019 to a dance.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chapter 23<\/strong><\/p>\n

From having no choices Tilly was about to have a great many. She had finally gotten up the courage to open her mother\u2019s box. She knew what she would find, but seeing it all proved that her mother and father were gone just as much as the photograph Adam and Joe had procured.<\/p>\n

She carelessly tossed aside the thick, heavy paper-wrapped cloth package, knowing exactly what it was and having no use for it. She took a quick inventory of a small jewelry box. Blake had lied, as usual\u2014he\u2019d left the less expensive stuff for her, and probably thought himself generous. The emerald broach was gone, of course; so were the sapphire earrings that her mother said matched her Lily-Tilly\u2019s eyes. \u201cWell, Blake, you actually left me the green cameo with the carved white Athena.\u201d And the thin green-gold Dahlonega band her mother had worn was still there\u2014as if I could ever have worn it<\/em>, Tilly thought as she surveyed it. Her mother\u2019s ancestry was Scots and Alsatian, God rest her, but in build she\u2019d been Hessian through and through\u2014a tall, big-boned woman, with white-blond hair, eyes like Lake Tahoe, and hands the size of a dinner plate; she and Rheinhard had often wondered how they managed to produce such a wispy creature as Lily-Tilly.\u00a0 She looked back at the Dahlonega band, remembering the story of how it had come into the family\u2014and thinking, with a crazy grin, that it would just about fit Adam\u2019s finger.<\/p>\n

There were several poetry books\u2014a Richard Lovelace volume she had also seen in Adam\u2019s bookcase; both of Elizabeth Barrett\u2019s 1844 books (before she married that Browning fellow), a German volume of Heine that she had always been especially fond of\u2026all of Jane Austen\u2019s novels were there\u2026she settled down to read, and before she knew it the clock downstairs had struck two in the morning. She knew she should give it up for the night as she wasn\u2019t even halfway through, but \u201cJust to the end of this chapter,\u201d she murmured, turning another page. And then she noticed another paper\u2014definitely not part of the book\u2014sticking out from between two more pages a few sheets down. She found the other paper and carefully extricated it.<\/p>\n

It was a signed and notarized promissory note from Blake Weston to Mathilde Weston Hoffman, Senior. But it was not for the $5,000 her mother had told her about. It was for $50,000. Her mother had never been very good with math. The real miracle was that it was still in the box. For a few minutes, she just sat there, absorbing all the implications, and then the idea hit her.<\/p>\n

\u201cBlake, you filthy pig, it serves you right for hating to read,\u201d she muttered. Not because she wanted Blake\u2019s money, oh no. She had little use for money; as long as she could pay her room and board and occasionally rent a horse or go to a concert, she didn\u2019t need it. But she was going to make sure Blake Weston\u2019s \u201clegacy\u201d was wiped clean, that was for sure. She\u2019d need a couple of days out of town, but she was certain she\u2019d never be missed.<\/p>\n

When she got up from the floor and started to undress, she saw the forgotten envelope from Spain.<\/p>\n

It was a letter from her beloved previous employer, Don Fernando Lopez-Chavarri. Both his two older daughters were getting married, and he wanted her to be there for the occasion. \u201cI make myself so free as to demand it, Little \u2019Tilda,\u201d he had written. \u201cYou made the promise years ago and perhaps have forgotten, but they have not, and I have not.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a tempting notion. In Spain there would be no possibility of the Virginia City gossip following after her, as it certainly would wherever else she tried to go in the United States. And in Spain she would have no problem finding a position as a governess or a teacher. Maybe she\u2019d go for the wedding, and then come back to the States\u2026some other state, one she\u2019d never visited before.<\/p>\n

Wherever she ended up going, whatever she ended up doing, she decided she\u2019d be happy doing it. And maybe she could forget Adam Cartwright, too\u2026in about 40 or 50 years.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

On Sunday morning early, she set out on Thunder for Reno, without a word to anyone except another note on the schoolhouse door. A visit with the sheriff of Reno led to a visit with Blake. The man still hadn\u2019t recovered from Lady\u2019s attack, but he was still dead-set on keeping his flagship collies\u2026until he found out he would lose everything else he owned if he tried. She would have taken the producers too, but they were no longer suffering\u2014the pitiful things had been infected by distemper a few days earlier and were all dead.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou owe me $50,000, Blake,\u201d Tilly said. \u201cI don\u2019t want to take everything you\u2019ve got\u2014I\u2019ll be far kinder than you were to my family. I just want your dogs\u2014and a sworn statement that you\u2019ll never even pick another mongrel up off the street. No champion racehorses, either. No animals at all, except whatever it takes to pull your wagon\u2026and by the way, Sheriff, my uncle is also quite demonstrative in his affection for children\u2026you might want to be sure that he doesn\u2019t have occasion to be around any.\u201d<\/p>\n

The five surviving flagship dogs were worth only $17,000. Blake had either to turn them all over to Tilly, or lose his house, his land, and the two hotels in which he had invested. Wisely, he gave the dogs to Tilly, and gave up on his great idea of introducing collies to the West. Late Tuesday night, she returned to Virginia City in a rented wagon with the five collies. Black Clover and Red Rose instantly took a liking to the Widow Hawkins, and one of Hop Sing\u2019s relatives agreed to board the other three until Tilly could find them homes.<\/p>\n

On Wednesday she was back in school, and she announced that all age groups would have a little oral test on Friday. Amid the groans and pleadings of other students, the two sons of Jordan were heard to say, \u201cHey, this is just what Pa\u2019s been waiting for!\u201d Tilly had no idea what that remark meant, but one thing was certain\u2014it was no threat. After all, she had already been fired without a character reference. There was something liberating in that.<\/p>\n

Friday morning the 25 children duly reported in at 8 a.m. The surprise was that at a few minutes before 10\u2014the time announced for their test\u2014all five members of the Virginia City School Board trooped in and lined up against the back wall. Ben and Adam were there too\u2014Adam looking a little peaked, still\u2014but again, when she saw Ben\u2019s jaw come out in a defiant set and Adam\u2019s shoulders come back at the same time, she had to smile inwardly at the strange resemblance. As for the remaining trio, she didn\u2019t bother to look.<\/p>\n

\u201cToday is just a little test, nothing to be concerned about. I just want to make sure you are all taking in the teaching that I\u2019m supposed to provide. April ends this term, and as most of you know, I will not be back for next term. I want to be sure you\u2019re where you\u2019re supposed to be for the new teacher. Each of you will have to answer a total of three questions on any of the subjects we\u2019ve covered so far this school year.\u201d<\/p>\n

She started with Peggy Dayton Cartwright, having her come to the chalk board and work out a math problem about the weight of horse shoes, then moved to Darla Norris for the names of the two current Nevada senators. Anthony Holcomb had to define \u201cimpediment\u201d and \u201ctempest.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked back at Adam; he was still standing, and looked shaky.<\/p>\n

\u201cBilly McKenzie, divide 25 by 12.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s way too easy, Miss Hoffman. It\u2019s 2.08.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood. But now give it to me as a remainder.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo, with a remainder of one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many children are in this classroom?\u201d she asked him.<\/p>\n

\u201cTwenty-five.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how many benches are there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwelve.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd so we have how many students per bench?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo\u2014except for the bench up front where you\u2019ve got three.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Billy, now what would happen if the last two benches were suddenly taken away?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen it would be two with a remainder of five.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUm\u2026that the rest of the kids would have to share with the four kids in the back?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExcellent idea, Billy, thanks for that suggestion! Let\u2019s do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

The four children from the two back benches rose in some confusion and moved up to other benches.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd now, since it seems I\u2019m being tested as well,\u201d Tilly said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t we let the five eminent gentlemen from the School Board take seats on the back benches.\u201d<\/p>\n

Looking a bit shamefaced, the five took seats.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, let\u2019s continue\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Peggy next recited a segment from Coleridge\u2019s Rime of the Ancient Mariner<\/em> and Johnny Caldecott did a math problem with long division at the chalkboard.<\/p>\n

Lunchtime was upon them but Tilly gave no sign of stopping until each child had answered three questions.<\/p>\n

Finally, she said, \u201cAll right, Jimmy Marsden, we\u2019ll finish with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jimmy trooped up to the front and picked up a piece of chalk, apparently expecting a math problem.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have your recitation ready?\u201d Tilly asked with a grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, Miss Hoffman, not today, please!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t wanna say it in front of all them men! They\u2019ll think I\u2019m a sissy!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI assigned this piece two weeks ago. Do you not know it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know it,\u201d he said sullenly. \u201cBut first kid makes a face at me I\u2019m takin\u2019 a poke at \u2019em.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2018Let me not to the marriage of true minds<\/em><\/p>\n

Admit impediments. Love is not love<\/em><\/p>\n

Which alters when it alteration finds\u2014<\/em>hey, Mr. Cartwright, you quit that!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Thirty pairs of eyes turned to Adam Cartwright, who blushed. \u201cSorry, Jimmy. That\u2019s one of my favorite sonnets. I didn\u2019t think you\u2019d mind if I recited along with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI might mind,\u201d Tilly put in. \u201cThis is a test, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrue. Sorry,\u201d Adam said meekly.<\/p>\n

Tilly\u2019s eyes gleamed suddenly. \u201cOn the other hand, if you want to come up here, face the classroom instead of Jimmy, and recite along with him, I\u2019ve got nothing against that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you mind, Jimmy?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, sir,\u201d Jimmy said in wonder. Adam Cartwright was his hero\u2014the man had been an acting sheriff, he\u2019d ridden in countless posses, fought Indians, been nearly hanged a couple of times, and even outdrawn at least one professional gunfighter. And he liked Shakespeare<\/em>?<\/p>\n

Adam trooped up to the front of the classroom and stood beside Jimmy, putting his hand on the boy\u2019s shoulder. \u201cYou\u2019ll correct me if I mess up, won\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jimmy looked up and nodded\u2014and so he was the only one who saw the wink Adam gave Tilly. The rest of the room only saw her blush.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrom the beginning, please,\u201d Tilly instructed.<\/p>\n

As they recited, Jimmy looked back up at Adam. Jimmy had said everything mechanically, but the strange, husky tone of voice Adam had been using did not escape his notice\u2026or anyone else\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you.\u201d Tilly\u2019s voice was flat and a bit ominous. \u201cLunchtime, children.\u201d<\/p>\n

As the children grabbed their lunch pails, the four remaining board members approached Tilly at the front of the class.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Hoffman,\u201d Dave Jordan began, \u201chow did you come up with this test?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust as I explained to the children, Mr. Jordan. Knowing my time was limited, I wanted to leave a firm foundation for the new teacher. I began working on the questions last weekend, and\u2014as you\u2019ll see here\u2026\u201d She showed her notebook with its list of questions, divided by the groups of students for which the questions would be most appropriate\u2026 \u201cI assigned the questions by aptitude, or rather lack of it. For example, I gave Peggy a recitation that she had a lot of problems with, and Johnny Caldecott has problems with long division.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen how do you account for the students all doing so well?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a bit surprised at that myself, Mr. Jordan. Still, it proves what studying can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you didn\u2019t provide the answers in advance?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly\u2019s eyebrows came together and her hand twitched, clutching an imaginary skillet. \u201cMr. Jordan, they all had the answers in the sense that we have worked on these assignments before and they should have picked up the material by now. Past that, if you mean, did I go to Billy last night and say \u2018tomorrow you\u2019ll have to divide 5081 by 47,\u2019 the answer is no. And while I\u2019m ashamed that you asked that, I\u2019m not surprised. In fact, I am at least grateful that one accusation in this town was made to my face and not behind my back. Now if you gentlemen are finished, I\u2019d very much like it if you\u2019d all exit the way you came in, and don\u2019t let the doorknob\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re misreading my intent, Miss Hoffman,\u201d Jordan said. \u201cI found out a while back that my own boys had picked up quite a lot from your teaching. I just wanted the other members of the Board to see it. I thought perhaps our decision to remove you might have been\u2026premature.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam jumped in. \u201cI certainly think it was, and if you pompous windbags hadn\u2019t recused me\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly held her hand up. \u201cAm I to understand you\u2019re considering keeping me on?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, that\u2019s what I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see. And how does the rest of the board feel about this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know how Adam and I feel, Miss Hoffman,\u201d Ben said gently, and Tilly could have kissed him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re considering,\u201d muttered one of the two holdouts.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, let me save you the time and trouble,\u201d Tilly said. \u201cYou didn\u2019t fire me for my teaching ability. You fired me for my questionable morals. And my morals have never changed. They\u2019re as questionable now as they ever were, and I have no intention of teasing your imaginations by either defending myself or addressing your charges. And while I thank you for the magnanimity of your gesture, you\u2019re presuming I still want this job. I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you had a five-year contract!\u201d Dave Jordan protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not the one who broke the contract. You are. When the term is over, so am I. Now, I thank you for your time, and for your \u2018test.\u2019 Please leave now. I\u2019d like to eat my own lunch, and once again, time is running out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben and Adam hung back as the other three departed. \u201cTilly,\u201d Adam began, \u201cI\u2019d really like to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly gave them a stern look as she pointed to the door. \u201cPlease. Not now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chapter 24<\/strong><\/p>\n

That afternoon, as she was scrubbing the floors, two horses trotted up and two riders dismounted. There was a polite knock on the door before they entered, and Tilly had to grin at that, remembering times when the knock had been less than polite, or there had been no knock at all.<\/p>\n

Ben came in, followed by Adam, and once again the odd, nonphysical resemblance between them startled and bemused her. \u201cGood afternoon,\u201d she said. \u201cDid you stay in town all day, then?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben was either taking the lead, or maybe Adam didn\u2019t know what to say; he was certainly acting awkward.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Tilly, we wondered if you would join us for dinner tonight at the International House,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you for the invitation,\u201d she responded, wondering what the devil was going on. \u201cI\u2019d be very happy to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood.\u201d Ben looked at Adam, who shot back a rather sullen glare. \u201cThat\u2019s good. Well, I\u2019ll take the horses to the livery, then. I\u2019ll meet you over there.\u201d<\/p>\n

With that he made himself scarce, fast, and Tilly looked at Adam, who was staring at the wet floor with his hands in the pockets of his jacket.<\/p>\n

\u201cNice to see you\u2019re wearing a coat today,\u201d she observed.<\/p>\n

At that he flashed a quick, embarrassed grin, showing the dimples she loved, but said not a word.<\/p>\n

\u201cI noticed earlier you\u2019re not limping, either. What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot really sure,\u201d he said, still looking at the floor. \u201cWhen I jumped the guy\u2014the one who stabbed me\u2014I felt something snap inside my back, and suddenly all the pain was gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s wonderful, Adam. Guess there\u2019s something to be said for getting into knife fights, eh?\u201d It was difficult to make a joke of something like that, but she\u2019d known him and his brothers long enough to know they always joked about nearly getting killed. \u201cSo what prompted you and your father to stay in town all day? I know it wasn\u2019t just to take me out to dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2026um\u2026we\u2019re taking the late stage out,\u201d he replied. \u201cThe trial begins Friday for the train robbers, and we\u2019ve both been called as witnesses. I\u2019m surprised you weren\u2019t called as well, since you found the box.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe found it. I just thought it was probably what you hit your head on.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026in any case\u2026we have to go. Joe\u2019s going too. California has jurisdiction on the case, and they combined the kidnapping and attempted murder charges on us with that, so\u2026\u201d his voice trailed off. \u201cYou left pretty fast last week, Tilly. Hoss said as soon as he brought Lady in, you vanished.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe one had very little to do with the other,\u201d she chuckled. \u201cI just had other places I needed to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t really<\/em> think I can\u2019t tell the difference between you and Lady, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n

She couldn\u2019t help smiling. \u201cNo, but I was always terribly jealous that you never scratched my ears.\u201d<\/p>\n

No effect at all. His eyes stayed fixed on the floor, his posture rigid and defensive.<\/p>\n

She wrung out the mop and took the bucket out, passing Adam on the way and taking care not to notice how pale he seemed. She stopped. \u201cHow\u2019s Lady doing, anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss wrapped her ribs and put a good splint on her leg. Still don\u2019t know if the puppies will make it, but she\u2019ll be all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad to hear it,\u201d she said, and proceeded out with the bucket.<\/p>\n

\u201cShall we head over?\u201d she asked on her return. \u201cI need to get cleaned up first.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not yet,\u201d Adam said with an awkward sigh. \u201cPa\u2019s waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I thought that\u2019s why we should go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you don\u2019t understand. He\u2019s taking his sweet time. I love my father, but sometimes I just don\u2019t\u2026well, never mind. He\u2019s waiting because he thinks if he leaves us alone, \u2018nature will take its course\u2019\u2014his words, not mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh. And what does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy father is a master manipulator,\u201d Adam said firmly, not looking at her. \u201cI don\u2019t mind what he wants to happen, I just object to the way he\u2019s going about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s he going about? What is it that he wants to happen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it just happens he\u2019s a great believer in marriage, as well. My own, especially.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally.\u201d Her tone became ominous.<\/p>\n

Adam laughed shortly. \u201cHear me out. He knows I want to marry you. He still has reservations, but\u2026he says the best and the worst traits of the whole Cartwright clan are embodied in you. It seems you have Joe\u2019s temper, my independence and intelligence, Pa\u2019s stubbornness, and Hoss\u2019s kindness. He further says you are an excellent kisser, for which I may<\/em> one day forgive him, although I am far too much of a gentleman to ask him or you just what the devil he might mean by that.\u201d He looked up at her with an almost bashful grin, and back at the floor. \u201cAlso, Hop Sing has added considerable weight with some incomprehensible argument\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, yes,\u201d Tilly chuckled. \u201cGo si ni det sen<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t tell me; it\u2019s Cantonese for \u2018I am your spleen.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is, in fact. I was instructed to tell you that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid he also tell you that if I don\u2019t marry you, I\u2019ll forever lose my sense of humor?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe did. Not the strongest argument I\u2019ve heard.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot that I needed argument.\u201d He looked at her, that dark strange look that used to worry her\u2026\u201cTilly, I never have changed my mind. Have you changed yours?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout\u2026Adam, is this<\/em> how you propose to people? No wonder you never got married. Good Lord!\u201d<\/p>\n

She started to flounce away in exasperation, but turned back at his barked command: \u201cTilly, stay!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure<\/em> you don\u2019t have me mixed up with the dog?\u201d she retorted, turning away again.<\/p>\n

A sudden steel grip on her arm immobilized her, and he said, \u201cI know what you want.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do I want?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat you want\u2014what all<\/em> women want\u2014is some one-kneed declaration of undying love and that there\u2019s no way I can live without you. Well, the problem with that is that I\u2019ve lived too long and seen too much not to know better. I watched my father bury two women he couldn\u2019t live without\u2014and ever since then I\u2019ve watched him live without them. So I\u2019m sorry to squash the romance, but I can<\/em> live without you.\u201d He looked down again. \u201cBut I\u2019ll be miserable. Even with the dog<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not the only person in the world who ever lost somebody, Adam Cartwright,\u201d she snapped back. \u201cYou have some idea of what I\u2019ve lost. I think I\u2019m a pretty good example of how a person can live without love. I can even be happy without it\u2026sometimes. I don\u2019t need to hear how you can\u2019t live without me, and I wouldn\u2019t believe it if you said it. But\u2014call it a vanity, or merely social convention\u2014I would like to hear you, just once<\/em> in this life, say \u2018I love you\u2019 to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know I do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t! You won\u2019t even say it with us alone in this room; how on earth can you stand up in a church and say it out loud in front of God and your family?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you think I was doing this morning in your classroom? Who do you think I was reciting Sonnet 116 to, anyway? That\u2019s about as public as it gets. And don\u2019t you get me started on God, Tilly Hoffman. Every time I get the nerve up to love somebody they either die or leave. And every time it happens I hear some bunch of tripe about how it\u2019s all God\u2019s will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cQuit blaming God for everything that goes wrong. I think it\u2019s pretty presumptuous of people to assume that everything that happens is both God\u2019s will and God\u2019s fault. It is not God\u2019s intent to make you as miserable as possible and then kill you.\u201d She sighed. \u201cSometimes you\u2019re just a pastanaga<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

The silence stretched out for a while. Finally, he gave her a sidelong glance. \u201cThis wasn\u2019t meant to be another debate. I\u2019ll say it if you\u2019ll say it first.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t<\/em> say it first. I\u2019m the woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you can\u2019t pull that on me, Mathilde \u2018your royal highness\u2019 Hoffman,\u201d he chuckled. \u201cIn the first place, from the time we met you\u2019ve made it your mission in life to tell me that women can do everything men can. And second, after all your ranting about Queen Victoria I went to the library and read about her. And I know she<\/em> proposed to Prince Albert.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s the Queen! Adam, in the world I come from you\u2019re the aristocrat and I\u2019m a commoner.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe world you come from doesn\u2019t exist anymore; you told me that yourself. And you may not have noticed, but there\u2019s dirt under my nails at the end of a hard day, just like everybody else\u2019s. And why do I have to do all the work? There were times, right after the fire, when I almost asked you\u2026but I kept thinking, \u2018I don\u2019t know how she feels about me.\u2019 So do you love me, or not? You can certainly say it\u2014if<\/em> you mean it, and if<\/em> you\u2019re not scared to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine,\u201d she retorted. \u201cI\u2019m mad as a hornet, Adam, and you frequently affect me that way, but God help us both, I love you anyway. And if you ever asked me in even a partially<\/em> proper fashion, I\u2019d marry you if I had to do it at midnight in a swamp full of \u2019gators, and I\u2019d live with you in palace or a mud hut, and devil take anybody who ever tried to come between us. Now, I just gave you a whole paragraph\u2014and all I\u2019m asking in return is three words! How\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s just great,\u201d he said quietly. \u201cAll right, here are your three words. How\u2019s your Greek<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEse kato apo tin storgi mou<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

She stiffened. \u201cI am not, and you will not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou certainly are under my protection, whether you like it or not, and I will<\/em> take care of you. Ese fili mou<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re my friend too, Adam, but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEse erotas mou.<\/em> Ese to pathos mou.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

She blushed beet red and said nothing.<\/p>\n

\u201cSe agapo<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you, too,\u201d she murmured. \u201cAnd\u2026and\u2026 you\u2019re my lover and my passion as well\u2026or at least I\u2019d like you to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you\u2019ll marry me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026yes, but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, \u2018but\u2019? What happened to that midnight in a swamp and mud huts?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll marry you, Adam, but I wasn\u2019t lying this morning. I have some business to tie up in Nevada, but then I promised Se\u00f1or Lopez-Chavarri I\u2019d go back to Spain. Not to live,\u201d she added hastily. \u201cBut his two oldest daughters are getting married, and I promised to be there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026\u201d Adam leaned against the wall. \u201cI\u2019ve never been to Spain. But I kinda like the music. And I\u2019ve always wanted to see some genuine Moorish architecture.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll come with me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019ll have me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly for the rest of my life,\u201d she breathed, and then she was in his arms, with no idea how she\u2019d gotten there, and once again the Pythagorean Theorem and Euclid\u2019s Elements went right out the window while he kissed her face, her neck, and pretty much every place else she had exposed skin. \u201cAdam?\u201d she finally said into his ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cHm?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Lady?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe dog, Adam. She needs to come with us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe does?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure. She loves you too, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter the pups are weaned,\u201d he murmured into her hair, tightening his arms around her. \u201cTilly, I warn you, I no longer believe in long engagements. I\u2019ll give you a month to get a dress made, if it\u2019s absolutely necessary\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have a dress. Remember the box from my mother? That was one of the things inside, carefully wrapped in nice brown paper. We don\u2019t have to wait for a thing, except for you to come back from California.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell it took you long enough,\u201d said a gruff voice in the doorway. \u201cAdam, I swear, it took me fifteen minutes to win over your mother\u2014and she<\/em> was from Boston<\/em>. You\u2019ve got a lot to learn.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry,\u201d Adam said, still refusing to let go\u2014not that Tilly wanted him to. \u201cI\u2019ve got a good teacher, Pa. I\u2019ll learn fast.\u201d<\/p>\n

As the three walked over to the International House, Tilly grinned at Ben. \u201cHow are you getting along with Lady these days?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, she hasn\u2019t attacked me,\u201d he said. \u201cFrom all I\u2019ve heard about her, she\u2019s something of a wonder dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat would you say if I told you most collies share her good traits?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know any other collies, so I couldn\u2019t reply.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Tilly said, \u201cDo you know why my Uncle Blake decided to become a collie breeder?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPossibly because of Queen Victoria,\u201d Adam said thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

Tilly laughed in delight. \u201cYou are a smart one. It\u2019s true. HRH has collies, and is touting them to the skies.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I read as much in those articles,\u201d Adam agreed. \u201cAnd of course every fashion that catches on in Europe is bound to find its way here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly,\u201d Tilly said flatly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, the collies out at Weston\u2019s place were a sad lot,\u201d Ben put in. \u201cI don\u2019t call myself a dog person, but I was shocked and appalled at the way they were treated. And even as someone who\u2019s not a dog man, I truly wanted to help those dogs.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly grinned. \u201cI\u2019m glad to hear you say that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Adam, Ben and Joe were back from California by the end of the following week, and by that time Hoss had acquired two new best friends\u2014both of which had long fur and cold noses.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey don\u2019t seem to have a name preference,\u201d Hoss told them. \u201cSo I dropped all that silly colored flower stuff and just gave \u2019em regular names. The brown and white girl is Honey, and the mostly-black girl is Gumbo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt figures you\u2019d name \u2019em after food,\u201d Joe muttered. \u201cNow where\u2019s the little boy dog?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMutton Jim took him and named him Scooter. Joe, this is gonna be great. Jim\u2019s a fine dog trainer, and if he can get these three half as good as Lady we\u2019re gonna have some great workin\u2019 dogs here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs Pa gonna let \u2019em live in the house?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you ask \u2018Pa\u2019 that question?\u201d Ben stomped in, prompting growls from the two new collies and a hesitant approach by Lady. He looked at the two new arrivals. \u201cHoss, I hope part of the training involves teaching them who\u2019s the leader of this pack.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSoon as you start hangin\u2019 around, Pa. They just need to get used to you is all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not the question. The question is, will I ever get used to them<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

While Ben and Joe had gone straight home, Adam had stopped to see Tilly, and as he had threatened once before, he did end up spending the entire night talking with her in the widow\u2019s gaudy sitting room. \u201cJust family at the wedding\u2026which of course includes the \u2018other\u2019 Cartwrights\u2026and maybe Roy and Paul,\u201d he said with a wink. \u201cAnd Hop Sing. Oh, and I think Lady would want to be your matron of honor\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot your cousin Laura? Then I’m honored indeed,\u201d Tilly grinned.<\/p>\n

He made a face. \u201cWell, you understand that I\u2019ll still have to invite them. After all, Will\u2019s saved my life twice now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know about the blood transfusion, but I didn\u2019t know he saved it another time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes\u2026when he took Laura off my hands and left me available for you.\u201d He picked up her left hand and started playing with her fingers. \u201cWhen you come by the house tomorrow I have something to show you\u2026we haven\u2019t talked about rings. Did your mother leave you one? I have my mother\u2019s ring, and if you don\u2019t already have one\u2026 well, I\u2019d love to see my mother\u2019s ring gracing your finger\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked at his elegant, long-fingered hands, and an idea hit her.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026\u201d it was now her turn to be hesitant and a bit shy. \u201cI know it doesn\u2019t happen here, but you know in some cultures, the man and woman both wear rings\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have something in mind?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a minute, I need to go up to my room.\u201d She returned with one hand clutching a pale green-gold band. \u201cIf you don\u2019t want to, I\u2019ll understand\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a Dahlonega band, isn\u2019t it?\u201d He took it from her and examined it closely. \u201cI\u2019ve heard about them, but never seen one\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy mother was 15.\u201d Tilly swallowed. \u201cHer father was one of the ones who came down in the rush, but he died not long after they got there. My father had the adjacent claim\u2026he was 29. Somehow the two of them got together. Everyone thought it was an odd match, but they loved each other. He always said he got just enough gold out of his claim to make that ring.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTilly, I\u2019d be honored to wear this ring, although I can\u2019t imagine it would fit\u2026only, it does.\u201d He chuckled. \u201cNow I know<\/em> I would have liked your mother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chapter 25<\/strong><\/p>\n

For once, Virginia City didn\u2019t know what the Cartwrights were up to, and the Cartwrights intended to keep it that way. The four of them\u2014and Lady and Hop Sing\u2014had driven in, and Tilly had walked over to the church, carrying a wrapped parcel with her. Laura and Peggy met her and took her to the preacher\u2019s tiny, cramped office to help her change. Used to softer dresses, the stiff fabric of this one made her jump each time it rustled, and she was already jumpy.<\/p>\n

Unable to pick a best man, Adam asked both his brothers to hold the rings. Joe and Hoss already thought the notion of a man wearing a wedding ring was funny. But they hadn\u2019t seen Tilly\u2019s ring before, and both started giggling at its color.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like it fell in the sink,\u201d Joe muttered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t expect you Philistines to recognize Dahlonega gold,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI remember hearing about the big strike while you and I were heading west, Adam,\u201d Ben murmured, turning the ring around in his hand, looking at the pale-green cast. \u201cOf course, by the time Joseph came along, all the gold in Georgia was mined out and the big strikes were in California.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly came in then, and for a minute the four stopped talking about gold and just looked at her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI like a woman in white,\u201d Adam said appreciatively.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think it\u2019s white?\u201d Hoss asked. \u201cLooks more like the color of an eggshell to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNaw, it\u2019s like cream,\u201d Joe returned decisively.<\/p>\n

\u201cNonsense,\u201d Ben said. \u201cIt\u2019s ivory, can\u2019t you tell?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly and Adam just looked at all three of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor Pete\u2019s sake, it\u2019s white,\u201d Tilly said in exasperation, at the same time Adam said \u201cGee, fellas, how many shades of white are there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBout as many as there are gold, I reckon,\u201d Hoss giggled, looking back at the ring.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey never heard of Dahlonega gold,\u201d Adam told her.<\/p>\n

\u201cMost people haven\u2019t,\u201d Tilly shrugged. \u201cBut it\u2019s the reason there\u2019s no Cherokee living in Georgia anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrue enough,\u201d Adam agreed. \u201cJust like the reason the Paiute here are all in an uproar\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot to mention the Sioux in the\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe turned to Ben. \u201cNow I hope you know why we were such a mess when you got home, Pa. Once those two get to talkin\u2019 there\u2019s no shutting them up\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd no makin\u2019 sense of anything they say within five minutes,\u201d Hoss added. \u201cNow they\u2019re gonna up and forget to get married \u2019cause they\u2019re too wrapped up in a debate.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben managed to pry the two debaters away from each other as the preacher came in, and for a few moments the air was appropriately solemn. But then came the vows, and at \u201clove, honor and obey\u201d Tilly\u2019s whispered \u201cwould you settle for two out of three?\u201d threatened to stop the ceremony. \u201cNo, I would not,\u201d Adam whispered back.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about \u2018most of the time\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot unless you\u2019re willing to accept my \u2018forsaking all others\u2014most of the time\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly sighed. \u201cLove, honor, and obey.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then came the ring part, which the preacher harrumphed about because he had had to re-write it for two rings\u2026and then came the catastrophe. Joe and Hoss forgot which ring they had, and both jumped forward when the preacher called for the first ring; they bumped into each other, and both gold bands jumped out of their hands and proceeded to roll merrily down the aisle.<\/p>\n

\u201cLady! Go get \u2019em!\u201d Adam directed, and the dog followed Hoss and Joe, who were falling all over each other in their attempts to recover the jewelry. Lady only retrieved one ring; Joe got the other, and Hoss got Joe when he fell over a pew.<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose you\u2019re right,\u201d Ben acknowledged later. \u201cShe did save the day. She\u2019s not a bad dog\u2014but I think Honey is better looking.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoney has a more traditional face,\u201d Tilly said. \u201cWith brown eyes\u2026Lady\u2019s eyes are a little unsettling for people who aren\u2019t used to blue-eyed dogs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you lookin\u2019 at?\u201d Adam asked Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou and Tilly. Your eyes are a shade lighter than Honey\u2019s, and Tilly\u2019s eyes are about a shade darker than Lady\u2019s. I\u2019m just wondering whether your kids will be blue-eyed or\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam burst out laughing. \u201cWe\u2019ve been married 15 minutes, Joe. Give us a little time, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s easy to answer your question anyhow, Joe,\u201d Tilly said. \u201cWe\u2019ll have some of each.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSome? How many are you planning on having, anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was thinking nine\u2014like Queen Victoria.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNine?\u201d Ben asked weakly. \u201cUm\u2026Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam raised an eyebrow and grinned at Tilly. \u201cGuess I\u2019ll have to close my eyes and think of England.\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Three weeks later, Lady had six puppies. Four were stillborn; the last two, a sable male and a blue female, were a bit \u201cpuny\u201d but with Hoss as a nursemaid and Lady to mother them, they soon shaped up nicely. Tilly named them Bruce and Ceirdwyn. By the time they were weaned, school was out\u2026and it was time to leave for Spain.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou won\u2019t be gone long\u2026\u201d Ben said as they left.<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo years at the most,\u201d Adam said. He was wrong, but of course he didn\u2019t know it then.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just have to show him a little bit of all that architecture he studied in school\u2026Pa,\u201d Tilly said. \u201cAnd he needs to stay in Spain long enough to lose that awful Mexican accent. The Spaniards will be horrified.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo when you come back he\u2019ll have an awful Castilian accent, and all the Mexicans will be horrified,\u201d Ben replied. \u201cAnd you do<\/em> realize that while he speaks a little French and enough Italian to listen to an opera, he has no idea at all what to do with the German language.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut he\u2019ll learn, remember? He\u2019s got a good teacher.\u201d She grinned, and Adam put his arm around her.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about that,\u201d Joe muttered. \u201cMarried nearly three months, and they still like each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam heard him, and he raised his voice a couple of octaves, clasped his hands, and fluttered his eyelashes. \u201cThose\u2026animals<\/em>\u2026really do<\/em> like each other!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe giggled. \u201cAnd your memory isn\u2019t gone yet, either, Older Brother!\u201d<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

The hugs were over, the goodbyes said, and the Santa Maria<\/em> was on its way out of San Francisco harbor.<\/p>\n

\u201cValencia, here we come,\u201d Tilly murmured as Adam waved one last time at the crowd left behind. \u00a0\u201cAdam, part of me wishes they could come along too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? Scared of being alone with me?\u201d he asked with a wolfish grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was nice, being part of a family again,\u201d she said wistfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou still are part of a family, and always will be. I\u2019m glad you like being married to me, though. I was afraid you\u2019d find marriage\u2014well\u2014too much duty, not enough fun. Did your mother ever give you any words of wisdom for that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tilly smiled. \u201cShe told me that at worst, it was a minor inconvenience\u2026and at best, being married to the right man was like living inside a kaleidoscope.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMarie had one of those. I never tired of looking into it. The best part was that every time it shifted, even a little, the pattern changed and everything was new again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are a good student.\u201d<\/p>\n

He shrugged, smiling. \u201cI have a good teacher. Want to go below and have an apple?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly if it\u2019s an Adam\u2019s apple.\u201d<\/p>\n

They turned and headed off to their cabin, with Lady marching alongside\u2026and that was fine, because no matter what happened next, she would never tell a soul.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

On the dock, Hoss Cartwright shivered violently.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d Ben asked. \u201cSad already?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess so,\u201d Hoss replied slowly. \u201cI just had one of those funny feelings, like when a ghost passes through ya. Do you really think they\u2019ll be back in two years?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno.\u201d He shook his head. \u201cI just had this feeling like\u2026maybe they won\u2019t come back for a long time\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be silly.\u201d Joe clapped him on the back. \u201cTwo years is<\/em> a long time. But at least it\u2019ll give us plenty of time to find some girls of our own. Nice, normal girls that don\u2019t talk about Bismarck and start gossip about being married five times just because they read some book.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Tilly is a bit different,\u201d Ben observed. \u201cBut she seems a good fit for Adam, so I expect he finds her normal. I hope you two find girls who\u2019ll be a good fit for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Hoss said, still uneasy. \u201cMe too, Pa. Well, if we don\u2019t get started back home, all the dogs are gonna drive Hop Sing and Mutton Jim clear distracted.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd we\u2019ve got cattle to move and fences to fix\u2026and trees to plant,\u201d Joe added. \u201cAnd that money Adam put in the savings account will be in the ranch account next week, so we\u2019ve got a lot to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right.\u201d Ben put a hand on each of his sons\u2019 shoulders. \u201cLet\u2019s go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Next Story in The Lilies Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Lilies of the Valley<\/a>
\nOne Scarlet Lily<\/a>
\nThe Strawberry Roan<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags:\u00a0 Adam Cartwright,\u00a0Ben Cartwright,\u00a0dog,\u00a0ESA,\u00a0ESB,\u00a0Hoss Cartwright,\u00a0Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright,\u00a0SAS,\u00a0school teacher,\u00a0SJS,\u00a0wife \/ wives<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: With Ben away, the Cartwright boys face down\u00a0poachers, a train robbery, a fire that nearly destroys the Ponderosa, a strange new school teacher and a lost dog. But when Ben returns, the biggest problem of all is gossip. \u00a0<\/p>\n

Rating: T (mild language, mature themes, violence) \u00a0 WC 109,300<\/p>\n

The Lilies Series, links to stories within the series are included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":81,"featured_media":10722,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2,7,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10721","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-actionadventure","category-a-u","category-drama","wpcat-2-id","wpcat-7-id","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":4518,"today_views":3},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Adam-and-Ben-2.jpg?fit=400%2C320&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":29195,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=29195","url_meta":{"origin":10721,"position":0},"title":"Stargazer (by BettyHT)","author":"BettyHT","date":"June 4, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"SUMMARY:\u00a0 Father and son have a quiet talk in a special place and find that the past left an impact that affects decisions that have to be made. 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