SUMMARY:\u00a0 The chance of a life-time to visit the city where his mother grew up leads to an experience neither man could imagine.\u00a0 Will the actions of an injured Ben fracture the loving bond between him and his youngest?<\/p>\n
Rating:\u00a0 K+\u00a0 (33,835 words)<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
LOST AT SEA<\/strong><\/p>\n The frigid seawaters circled around Joe and relentlessly pulled at him with its icy fingers.\u00a0 How long could he hold on?\u00a0 It seemed like days since he had been sitting in the cabin with Pa, but in reality, it was a scant three hours since they\u2019d enjoyed the warmth and safety of their temporary home.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa,\u201d murmured Joe.\u00a0 \u201cPa!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Reaching across the battered wooden plank he clung to, Joe grabbed his father\u2019s shoulder. \u201cPA!!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, Joe.\u201d\u00a0 Ben answered quietly.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t have to yell, son.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe peered through the black night, but could not distinguish the look on Ben\u2019s face.\u00a0 However, it wasn\u2019t necessary to see, for Joe to know that his father was in trouble.\u00a0\u00a0 The hastily applied bandage around Ben\u2019s head was already soaked with blood, and Joe had no way to fashion another.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHang on, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Joe soothed as he moved closer and wrapped his right arm around his father.\u00a0\u00a0 His own battered shoulder screamed at him with burning shafts of pain, but he held tight to his father with the damaged arm while the other clung to their makeshift raft.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben knew what was going on around him, and appreciated the strong arm his son provided, but he couldn\u2019t seem to make himself respond.\u00a0 \u2018So tired\u2019 <\/em>he thought as he leaned weakly on his son.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t seem right to be relying on his young son.\u00a0 This whole trip was to be a gift for Little Joe; the long awaited trip to New Orleans.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For years, Joe had dreamed of making the journey east to the home of his mother.\u00a0 Of course, there were no ties with her family now, but he often talked of seeing the place where his mother had been born and raised.\u00a0 Ben had finally decided that he should be the one to take his son, and as Joe was 18 this year, the time had seemed right.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss had agreed to run the ranch in their father\u2019s absence, and had even helped in planning the long-awaited voyage.\u00a0 Now it seemed like such a foolish venture.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The two Cartwrights boarded a clipper ship in San Francisco, and the beginning of their journey had been uneventful.\u00a0 Joe seemed to enjoy his first days on the ship, and Ben had been thrilled to share his knowledge of the sea with his youngest son.\u00a0 They had even made some new friends among the travelers they shared meals with.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n But on this particular evening, the movement of the ship had changed as the vessel moved into the path of a storm.\u00a0 The passengers huddled in their cabins below deck as the waves increased in size, and the ship\u2019s gentle rocking turned into a raucous swaying that threatened to send everything not tied down crashing to the floor.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At first, Ben was comfortable with their retreat below.\u00a0 But as the evening progressed, his apprehension grew until suddenly, a split second decision had him grabbing Joe by the arm, and pulling him up the narrow steps to the heaving deck above.\u00a0 As they neared the meager opening to the dark night, Ben Cartwright struggled to suppress a feeling of fear which suddenly overcame him.\u00a0 It took every ounce of control he could muster, but the father successfully concealed his panic from his son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The deck of a ship in the midst of a storm is a terrifying sight indeed, but Ben never faltered as they moved away from the stairway.\u00a0 With each wall of water that crashed over the deck, the ship seemed to roll a bit further, and Ben\u2019s earlier intuition proved true.\u00a0 The men had grabbed hold of the railing only seconds before another impregnable surge of sea washed over the ship.\u00a0\u00a0 With no warning, the ship\u2019s deck seemed to have disappeared, and the human cargo on deck was flung out to the sea.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As the wave rushed over the deck, the wooden craft seemed to disappear from sight for a moment, but the men already in the water never noticed.\u00a0 They had escaped entrapment within its confines, but now found they were prisoners of another power, that of the sea.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Kicking hard, Joe made his way to the surface, but what he saw there chilled him far worse than the temperature of the water.\u00a0 Pieces of the ship were already scattered around him, and the cries of fellow passengers could be heard even over the sound of the storm.\u00a0 What he couldn\u2019t see was the majestic outline of the clipper they had boarded a mere two days before.\u00a0 The only thing he could see now was the rounded bottom of the hull.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was then that true terror found a home in Joe\u2019s heart.\u00a0\u00a0 Peering through the howling wind and driving rain, he struggled to catch a glimpse of his beloved father.\u00a0\u00a0 Struggling to stay afloat in the angry waters, Joe searched in vain for the person most important in his life.\u00a0 No matter which way he turned, there was nothing but debris scattered about, and as time went on, even the cries of the other victims were drowned by the fury of the storm.\u00a0 Screaming Ben\u2019s name into the night brought no results, and Joe was convinced that he\u2019d never see his Pa again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With an utter feeling of hopelessness consuming him, the youngest Cartwright lost his spirit, and what little strength remained in his body seemed to flow away like the waves around him.\u00a0 As his mind grudgingly accepted the fact that he\u2019d lost his father, the one person who meant more to him than life itself, Joe\u2019s arms and legs relaxed.\u00a0 Now that he was no longer kicking against the waves, his body succumbed to the sea\u2019s control, and he began to sink beneath the surface.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n One word saved the young man, and it came to him as if a whispering on the wind.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With a surge of strength he didn\u2019t think possible, Joe resumed his kicking, and quickly made his way through the churning waters until he reached a drifting piece of wood.\u00a0 There, clinging to its protection was his pa.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n No words were spoken, but silent tears were shed as the young man clasped his father in his arms.\u00a0 Reaching across the wooden plank, the two men held each other tight as the storm raged on around them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The first rays of the morning sun pierced the angry clouds, but the golden shafts of light did little to encourage the weary men.\u00a0 Ben still clung weakly to their makeshift raft, his gaze never leaving his son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe had been quiet for some time, and if it hadn\u2019t been for the steady pressure of his grasp, Ben would have thought he was asleep.\u00a0 But periodic questions from his youngest reminded him that Joe was conscious of his father\u2019s predicament.\u00a0 However, it wasn\u2019t until daylight that Ben was aware of his son\u2019s injuries.\u00a0 It was that knowledge which, oddly enough, seemed to anger him.\u00a0 With voice raised and eyes burning, Ben turned on his son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe!\u00a0 What were you thinking?\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t you tell me you were hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWha . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLook at you.\u00a0 Half of your shirt is missing and you\u2019ve been bleeding.\u00a0 Your shoulder is a mess, and I can tell you\u2019re barely moving your arm.\u00a0 I\u2019m your father!\u00a0 You can\u2019t keep things like this from me!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Staring at the older man, Joe was overcome with a new fear.\u00a0 This wasn\u2019t like his father.\u00a0 Yes, Ben would berate or gently chastise him for his foolish behavior, but the anger in Pa\u2019s voice was unwarranted.\u00a0 In fact, the older man was acting very peculiar, and even without a doctor\u2019s diagnosis, Joe was sure his father\u2019s unusual attitude was a result of his head wound.\u00a0 The young man prayed the symptoms would get no worse, as he had no way to help his pa, and now that the sun was peeking through the clouds, Joe could see that the shoreline was still miles away.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A strong swimmer, Joe had always been comfortable in the water, but the past hours had taken a toll on the young man.\u00a0 Now he found it took all his strength to keep the small plank on a straight course towards the land, which lie ahead.\u00a0 As for getting there quickly, that was impossible.\u00a0 Joe just prayed that they\u2019d be able to get there at all.\u00a0 As for anyone else making it, the two men had given up that hope hours before.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At first there had been screams and cries from people who\u2019d made it out of the ship.\u00a0 But in the dark fury of the storm, the Cartwrights had been unable to reach any of the others.\u00a0 They prayed that there would be other survivors around them, but morning had found them alone in the water.<\/p>\n Focusing ahead, Joe tried to put aside his thoughts and memories of the friends they\u2019d made onboard the clipper.\u00a0 Yet visions of other passengers came over him as they drifted in the sun.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was Mary, the dark-haired young lady who was also traveling east with her father.\u00a0 The two families had shared a dinner table the first night, along with a matronly woman who was sailing alone.\u00a0 Her husband had just died in the goldfields of California, and now she was going home to live with her daughter.\u00a0\u00a0 All of them were gone now.\u00a0 Gone, along with the friendly captain Ben had admired, and the young sailor Joe had talked to.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Laying his head on the rough plank, Joe closed his eyes for a moment, but the visions remained.\u00a0 He wished for the luxury of sleep, but knew that he was Ben\u2019s only hope for survival.\u00a0 The older man was too seriously injured to manage the long swim alone.\u00a0 His angry tirade ended, Ben was now looking out across the water, grumbling quietly about careless sons. No, it was up to him to keep them going.\u00a0\u00a0If only he could rest, just for a little while.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The quiet lapping of the water against the wood was a peaceful respite from the earlier crashing roar of the storm. Joe was asleep before he knew it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A gentle hand stroked his hair, and for a moment, Joe expected to open his eyes and see Pa waking him for breakfast.\u00a0 But the scene that greeted him was much different than he expected.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Blinking rapidly, Joe raised his head to find his father watching him closely.\u00a0\u00a0 The clouds that covered the sky at dawn were no longer there.\u00a0 Instead, the sky was a brilliant blue, emblazoned by the golden sun.\u00a0 Only the familiar caress from his father\u2019s hand made Joe feel that waking up had been worth the effort.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 You alright, son?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Pa, I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 How long have I been asleep?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCouple hours.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSorry . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With his mumbled apology, Joe set to work.\u00a0\u00a0 An overwhelming sense of guilt and shame filled him as he looked about and realized they\u2019d made little progress over the past few hours.\u00a0 At least his father seemed a little more like himself, and for that the young man was grateful.\u00a0 But the men didn\u2019t try to talk anymore.\u00a0 The salty seawater, and now the burning rays of the sun were already having an affect.\u00a0 Their lips were chapped and raw; their throats as dry as the sawdust at the lumber mill back home.\u00a0 Joe wondered, briefly, how long it would take for a man to die out here on the water.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n On the other side of the narrow plank, Ben was filled with regrets of his own.\u00a0 He was aware that he hadn\u2019t been thinking clearly in the past hours, and his memories of the night and early morning were shadowy at best.\u00a0 The last clear recollection he had was of grabbing Joe and heading for the deck just before the ship capsized.\u00a0 After that, his recall was merely bits and pieces, and he was uncertain as to if any of them really happened.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The only thing Ben was sure of was that he was responsible for putting his youngest son in harm\u2019s way.\u00a0 And now, he was forced to rely on that same son to help keep him alive.\u00a0 Gingerly reaching up, he felt the cloth that encircled his head.\u00a0 Stiff with his own blood, Ben realized the bandage was actually the sleeve from Joe\u2019s shirt, and he was suddenly consumed with pride for this young man, his son.\u00a0 Ben prayed for the strength to help his boy, but the only answer he received was a continuation of the pounding pain in his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Wondering what piece of the ship had struck him, Ben decided it must have been well aimed.\u00a0 The white-hot pain continued its threat to push him back into the darkness.\u00a0 Only Joe\u2019s continued admonitions to \u2018stay awake\u2019 kept the older man\u2019s resolve alive.\u00a0 He must stay strong, for his son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The sun\u2019s rays were lengthening when, at last, Joe could make out a clear outline of the shore.\u00a0 The waves had grown in size as the men got closer to land, but they were still well away from a safe landing.\u00a0 Joe knew they needed to be on solid ground before the sun set.\u00a0 Drifting for another night on the ocean would mean certain death for both of them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With renewed determination, Joe kicked with both legs, and paddled as best he could with his one good arm.\u00a0 At first, it seemed as if the effort was unyielding, but the tide aided his labors. Then just as the sun began to sink beyond the edge of the ocean, his hard work was rewarded.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His yell of delight came out as a mere squeak, but if there had been someone there to witness the event, they would not have missed the joy in Joe Cartwright\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 He knew that, as his feet touched the sand, he would never forget the relief or gratefulness he felt.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pulling Ben into his arms, Joe stumbled and fell several times as he made his way towards the shore.\u00a0 Not until they were halfway up the beach towards the trees, did he finally allow his father to sink to the sand.\u00a0 And even then, Joe stood a moment longer, reveling in the feel of the earth beneath his feet.\u00a0 Then, he too sank into a heap next to his pa.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n This time, he didn\u2019t even try to stave off the sleep that reached out to claim him.\u00a0 With an inaudible sigh, Joe welcomed the darkness, unaware that with his own last ounce of strength, Ben had pulled his son into his embrace.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The soft sound of water in the distance continued to lull Ben Cartwright in his peaceful slumbers, but the warmth of the sun\u2019s rays finally brought him awake.\u00a0 With eyes half open, Ben looked around in confusion, struggling to understand where he was.\u00a0 With a groan, he tried to sit up, but the sudden spinning sensation sent him instantly back to the safety of the sand.\u00a0 Slowly, his hand reached upwards and carefully investigated the thin material wrapped about his head.\u00a0\u00a0 Although warm and dry, its presence reminded the man of what had happened.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Joseph!\u00a0 Where are you?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Although meant to be a loud cry, Ben\u2019s voice came out as a hoarse whisper.\u00a0 Realizing there was no hope that anyone would hear such an entreaty, Ben tried to raise himself again.\u00a0 Once more, with the dizziness overwhelming him, his body slumped to the ground.\u00a0 Panting softly, the weak man lay quietly as he stared at the sky above him.\u00a0 He could tell that he was further up the beach, meaning that Joe had probably moved him here.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Gotta find Joe.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Turning slowly to his side, Ben found that if he moved in minute increments, he was able to stave off the nausea that plagued him.\u00a0 It took several minutes, and a hearty dose of patience, but finally the gray- haired man made it onto his right side.\u00a0 From this position he was able to look a fair distance up the shoreline.\u00a0 The view, however beautiful, was not what he was looking for.\u00a0 Again, Ben began the slow process of moving, this time managing to turn to his left side where he surveyed the vista to the south.\u00a0 More sand, rocks and water met his gaze, and the exhausted man lay back dejectedly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joseph, where are you?<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n As his eyes drifted shut, he struggled to control his emotions, a combination of fear and anger.\u00a0 Almost helpless as a result of his head wound, Ben was confused about where he was, or what had happened to his son.\u00a0 A feeling of exasperation began to fill him, even as he slid into a troubled sleep.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe trudged down the sandy beach, a gull screaming loudly overhead.\u00a0 As he made his way past the rocky point, the pounding surf turned to a peaceful sound that soothed his tired soul.\u00a0 In the distance, he could make out the shape of his father, still lying in the sand where Joe had been forced to leave him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After making it to land the previous evening, the two exhausted men had slept soundly through the night.\u00a0 When the morning light awoke him, Joe had been overcome by a sense of urgency that didn\u2019t need explaining.\u00a0 They had been without water for almost two days; he had to find something for them to drink, and soon.\u00a0 Turning to his father, Joe tried valiantly to wake the older man.\u00a0 But no matter how hard he tried, he received no response other than an occasional moaning.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was with much trepidation that Joe finally pulled himself to his feet and walked away.\u00a0 Stopping after only a few yards, he turned back and studied the still form of his father.\u00a0 His mental argument lost out to basic needs, and Joe turned away.\u00a0 Sitting next to his Pa would be of no help.\u00a0 What they needed most was water; food if he could find it.\u00a0 So the young man pushed on, his footsteps slowed by the sand beneath his now-bare feet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben and Joe had each kicked their boots off soon after the ship sank.\u00a0 The water filling them had threatened to pull the men under, and it had taken some maneuvering to rid themselves of their footwear.\u00a0 But the action had surely saved their lives.\u00a0 Now, Joe wished passionately for something to replace them as he gingerly stepped over rocks and sand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His journey had been slow and uncertain, but finally Joe found what he was looking for.\u00a0 A small stream could be seen coming down from the hill above him, winding its way thru the small Pinon trees and scrub brush to finally find its end in the sea.\u00a0 Rushing forward, Joe stumbled and fell in his hurry to reach the water he craved, and it was a grateful young man who finally toppled into the sparkling water.\u00a0 Hands splashing about in its shallow depths, Joe didn\u2019t bother to use them to gather a drink; the thirsty man merely dropped his head into the refreshing liquid, and drank his fill.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now he was returning to his father, grateful for what he\u2019d found, but worried about how he\u2019d be able to get his pa to its nourishing banks.\u00a0 With no way to carry the water back, Joe had finally done the only thing he could think of.\u00a0 Pulling off the remnant of his once-best shirt, Joe soaked it repeatedly in the cool water.\u00a0\u00a0 Satisfied that every fiber was saturated with the life-saving liquid, he held the soaking bundle carefully in his hands, as he walked back to Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As he drew closer, Joe felt his concern mounting at the motionless form of his father.\u00a0 He was sure that Pa would\u2019ve come-to by now, and with every passing hour, he was more aware of how serious his father\u2019s condition was.\u00a0\u00a0 His tired legs faltered as Joe broke into a lumbering run, and he stumbled to his knees several times before reaching his father\u2019s side.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa.\u00a0 Pa!\u00a0 Wake up, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe lifted his father\u2019s head gently with one hand as he held the still-dripping shirt above Pa\u2019s face with the other.\u00a0 As he squeezed the fabric firmly, a thin flow of water trickled down onto Ben\u2019s parched lips.<\/p>\n It seemed like an eternity as Joe watched his father intently, but in reality it was only a few seconds before the man\u2019s mouth parted to allow the water in.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At first, worried that his father would gag on the unfamiliar liquid, Joe was careful to allow only a little water on his father\u2019s face.\u00a0 But it was soon obvious that Ben was coming to, and was now swallowing the water with ease.\u00a0 Joe squeezed the fabric tightly, anxious to give his father as much of the life-sustaining moisture as possible.\u00a0 All too soon, the flow had stopped, and Joe leaned back on his heels.\u00a0 Folding the shirt into a square, he draped it over his father\u2019s forehead, and watched as Ben finally opened his eyes.\u00a0 With a loud sigh of relief, Joe bowed his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked at his son, eyes narrowing at the sight of the anxious young man above him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 What are you doing, boy?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI found some fresh water, Pa.\u00a0 It\u2019s a ways off, but I\u2019ll help you get there.\u00a0 We\u2019ll start whenever you\u2019re ready.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben turned his face away, covering his eyes with a shaky hand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean, a ways off.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going anywhere.\u00a0 I have a pounding headache, and I have absolutely no intention of leaving this spot.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Staring at his father in disbelief, Joe searched for the words to answer him.\u00a0 This didn\u2019t sound like his father at all, and Joe was more than a little frightened at Ben\u2019s reactions.\u00a0 Struggling to remain calm, Little Joe simply ignored his father\u2019s statement.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCome on, Pa, I\u2019ll help you up.\u00a0 The stream is just south of here, and the water\u2019s cool and clear.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI told you, Joseph, I\u2019m not going anywhere!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dropping back on his heels, Joe stared at his father in amazement.\u00a0 Everything about Ben\u2019s attitude seemed wrong.\u00a0 It was obvious that his father wasn\u2019t in his right mind, but Joe was at a loss as to how to deal with him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t stare at me like that.\u00a0 And what happened to your shirt?\u00a0 How many times have I told you to keep a clean shirt on?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m going to do with you, boy.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s voice was extremely weak, yet firm in its insistence.\u00a0 Joe found himself incredulous at these unusual responses from his father.\u00a0 Stuttering in his effort to answer, Joe finally gave up and sat down in the sand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Something inside told him not to push his father to comply.\u00a0 Calm and gentle was the way to handle an injured man; he remembered Ben telling him that once.\u00a0 But Little Joe was not one overly familiar with either of those reactions.\u00a0 His normal responses were quick and forceful.\u00a0 The young man found himself wishing for one of his older brothers to help him.\u00a0 Adam or Hoss would know what to do, or how to handle the situation.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With head drooping, Joe closed his eyes and listened vigilantly to the sound of his father\u2019s quiet breathing.\u00a0 Ben had, once more, fallen asleep.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWake up, son.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Slowly opening his eyes, Joe almost laughed at the first thought that hit him.\u00a0 Why\u2019s Pa waking me up again?\u00a0\u00a0 Then, as the memories came flooding back, Joe sat up quickly and looked around.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n They were still in the same position, Ben lying on his back with Joe\u2019s now-dry shirt shading his eyes.\u00a0 Crouched in the sand next to him, Joe realized they must\u2019ve been sleeping for a while, and as he stretched a bit, the young man realized the sun was beating unmercifully on his bare back.\u00a0 Glancing around, Joe knew the only way the two would survive would be to work their way towards the stream and the scant brush along its banks.\u00a0 The rocky hills above them held no trees and offered no respite from the burning rays of the sun.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Turning to his father, Joe finally realized what had changed.\u00a0 It was Ben.\u00a0 No longer angry or argumentative, Pa lay quietly watching him, and Joe found himself whispering a thank-you for the familiar presence.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHow are you feeling, Pa?\u201d <\/p>\n \u201cI bet.\u00a0 Do you remember anything?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cA little.\u00a0 Are you alright, son?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Pa, I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 Just thirsty.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHave you had a chance to look for some water?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir.\u00a0 There\u2019s a stream down the beach a ways.\u00a0 Do you think you can make it?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSure, I can make it.\u00a0 What\u2019re we waiting for?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe caught himself as he started to reply, reaching instead for his father\u2019s arm only to be stopped by Ben’<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe! Your shoulder, it\u2019s-\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s alright, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben studied Joe carefully.\u00a0 It was obvious he knew his boy was not being entirely honest, but he also seemed to accept that there was little they could do about his injury.\u00a0 Joe recognized the look of remorse on his father\u2019s face, and he patiently waited the several minutes it took before the worried man was able to speak again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhere\u2019s your shirt, son?\u00a0 You need to cover up.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be badly burnt if you don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, I . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Seeing the confused look on his father\u2019s face, Joe finally reached over and drew his tattered shirt from where it had fallen in the sand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI used it earlier to bring some water back for you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben watched closely as Joe pulled the sleeveless shirt over his reddened skin.\u00a0 Then, reaching up to his own forehead, the older man realized his son had once again used his garment as a bandage.\u00a0 It was obvious that the second sleeve of Joe\u2019s shirt now adorned his father\u2019s head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened to the first one?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou were bleeding pretty bad, Pa.\u00a0 I threw it away after we ended up here.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nodding carefully, Ben simply fingered the bandage for a moment, before dropping his hand to his side.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHave I been much trouble?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, Pa.\u00a0 But you did have me worried for a while.\u00a0 You\u2019ll feel better after we get to that water.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Reaching down, Joe helped Ben to his feet.\u00a0\u00a0 Swaying weakly, Ben seemed relieved to have his son to lean on.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou okay, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A nod was the only answer Ben could give his son. The world still seemed to swirl around him, and his vision was marred by a black edge, but he fought off the queasy feeling and took his first step.\u00a0 Sheer willpower kept the man going as he plodded forward.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe continued to watch Ben anxiously as they moved along the shoreline.\u00a0 He prayed silently that he would be strong enough to help his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sitting on the banks of the small stream, father and son rested quietly.\u00a0 There was little shade, but they managed to make use of what there was.\u00a0 Joe sat with his back against a narrow rock ledge, while Ben stretched out under a bush next to him.\u00a0 They dozed off and on through the afternoon, grateful for the presence of the refreshing stream and a handful of roots that Joe managed to dig along its banks.\u00a0\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t much, but even the meager nourishment was something to be thankful for.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe watched his father closely, but the man seemed more himself with each passing hour.\u00a0 There had been no more unusual behavior, and Ben seemed totally unaware of his previous strange demeanor.\u00a0 Although the dizziness still bothered him, Ben managed to sit up a little longer each time, and Joe fervently hoped that his pa\u2019s recovery would continue.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was no hope of rescue here on this deserted beach and both men knew it could be many miles before they\u2019d find any help.\u00a0 Even though they were unsure of their location, they knew they were well below the border of Mexico.\u00a0 It hadn\u2019t taken much discussion for them to agree that their best course was to follow the stream east.\u00a0 With no food or money and scant clothing, they would be of little threat to anyone they came upon.\u00a0 There was also little chance that anyone would have reason to bother them.\u00a0 They could only hope that someone along their way would befriend them.\u00a0 It promised to be a long journey home, but a journey that both were grateful they\u2019d have a chance to make.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hours later, the two men worked their way slowly up the hillside, their progress slow at best.\u00a0 With feet already torn and bleeding, Joe knew they wouldn\u2019t be able to go very far before stopping again.\u00a0 Ben was past being worn out, yet they were still within sight of the ocean.\u00a0 So much had happened, there seemed little hope that they would survive this ordeal. Yet Joe pushed those thoughts from his mind.\u00a0 He had to keep trying, had to stay strong for his pa.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A cry behind him caused Joe to spin around just as Ben fell.\u00a0 Rushing back to his father\u2019s side, he knelt in the sand next to his pa. A soft moan, then Ben closed his eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCan\u2019t make it, son.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, you can.\u00a0 We\u2019re both going to make it.\u00a0 You\u2019ve always told me that a man can do anything, if he sets his mind to it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou . . go . . a h ea d. .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m not leaving you here.\u00a0 Now get up.\u00a0 We\u2019re almost to the top of this hill.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to make it over this one, and the next one, and the next one.\u00a0 We\u2019ll keep going as long as we have to.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss are depending on us, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The last of Joe\u2019s words were the ones that finally registered in Ben\u2019s mind.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss.\u00a0\u00a0 His other sons were home waiting for them to return, unaware that both father and brother were locked in a battle for their lives.\u00a0 No, he couldn\u2019t give up, either.\u00a0\u00a0 With a groan, Ben pushed himself up, and Joe helped him to stand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go, son.\u00a0 It\u2019s a long way home.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stared into the fire, his attention focused on the flames that licked the pine log.\u00a0 His hand still clasped the telegram Roy Coffee had delivered earlier that evening.\u00a0 Thinking back over the past few hours, Adam realized he\u2019d been moving as if in a fog since he\u2019d first read the penciled words, telegraphed from their lawyer in San Francisco.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Regret to inform you.\u00a0 Ben & Joe Cartwright listed as passengers on clipper bound for Panama.\u00a0 Ship capsized in storm off Mexican coast.\u00a0 No word of survivors.\u00a0 Both considered lost at sea.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The words echoed in his head as Adam continued to stare before him.\u00a0 Pa, Joe . . what will we do without you?<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0 Unshed tears gathered in the man\u2019s eyes as he thought of his father and brother.\u00a0 Could they really be gone?\u00a0 Forever?\u00a0 Swiping his eyes with the back of his hand, the dark- haired man finally collapsed into the red-leather chair next to the hearth.\u00a0 The familiar feel of the leather, and a lingering scent that was his father\u2019s, helped Adam relax.\u00a0 Slowly leaning back, his eyes closed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss had not spoken since Adam read the missive.\u00a0 Standing as if frozen while Roy murmured his regrets, the big man had slowly turned and silently climbed the stairs to his room.\u00a0 Now he sat, unmoving, on the edge of his bed as memories of his father and brother ran through his mind.\u00a0 Only the ticking of his clock broke the silence in his room, and even that brought memories flooding back as he recalled the time Pa had presented it as a gift.\u00a0 Knowing in his heart that nothing would ever be the same, Hoss finally slumped to his side and let the tears flow.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The sun beat down unmercifully on Joe\u2019s bare back, and he scrambled back under the protection of a small scrub tree.\u00a0 He pulled his arm closer to his side and sat still for a moment as he struggled with the pain.\u00a0 His shoulder seemed to be on fire and he knew the injury was serious.\u00a0 Quickly shutting his mind to his own plight, Joe turned instead to look at his father.\u00a0 He sighed with relief when he realized that Ben was sleeping peacefully.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben and Joe made it over that first hill, then another, and still another.\u00a0 Always careful to keep the stream in sight, they had slowly made their way inland, hoping to come across a farm or village.\u00a0 Somewhere along the way, Joe lost track of the time.\u00a0 He knew they\u2019d slept at least one night under the stars, or maybe it was two. Could be he was mixing that up with the stars he\u2019d watched while floating in the ocean. Uncertain as to how many days had passed since the shipwreck, all he knew was that they had to keep going.\u00a0 Now, with the heat of mid-day upon them, he had insisted that they stop to rest in the shade. And for once, Ben hadn\u2019t argued.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As he studied the small collection of roots and weeds in his hand, Joe sighed in resignation.\u00a0 Managing to find food had been a difficult task.\u00a0 Water was readily available, but other than a few roots and berries, Joe was unable to find anything of any substance.\u00a0 Continuing to watch for signs of game as they walked, he was frustrated at the lack of even a single track.\u00a0 Although he had spotted a lizard the night before, he\u2019d been unable to catch it, and wasn\u2019t sure what he would\u2019ve done with it if he had.\u00a0\u00a0 It was a barren stretch of land, one he hoped they\u2019d never see again. That is, if they made it out at all.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s condition had seemed to improve at first, and Joe had been relieved that his father was once again coherent.\u00a0 But after those first few hours of walking, the older man had lapsed into a sullen silence on several occasions.\u00a0 Joe quickly learned that this was a sign that his father wasn\u2019t fully aware of where he was or what was happening.\u00a0\u00a0 Sensing that any reference of this to his pa would result in a confrontation, Joe would simply find some excuse to stop and rest for a while.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Most of the time his ploy worked, but the last time Pa had become quite belligerent.\u00a0 After resting for only a few minutes, Ben had lurched to his feet and continued on, a string of insulting words hurled back at Little Joe.\u00a0 The young man had simply followed behind his father the rest of that afternoon, hoping that Pa\u2019s strange behavior would vanish as quickly as it had appeared.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As the two men sat quietly in the shade, Joe was lost in thought, his mind replaying every aspect of his father\u2019s injury.\u00a0 His fear was more intense than at any other time in his young life, and Little Joe had struggled to conceal those feelings from his pa.\u00a0\u00a0 Bandaging Ben\u2019s head was the only medical help Joe could manage.\u00a0 There was no medicine here, no clean bed for the man to lie in.\u00a0 What else could he do?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s low moan brought Joe back to the present.\u00a0 Leaning over, he watched his father closely as the older man came awake.\u00a0 Joe could see the moisture on his pa\u2019s brow, and he reached up absently to wipe it away. Immediately, he pulled his hand back in surprise.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cFever.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n That single stammered word awakened Ben Cartwright, and the man looked about frantically.\u00a0 As he looked up into the worried green eyes of his son, he had no idea of where he was or what was happening.\u00a0 The only thing he was certain of was his skin seemed to be on fire, and he needed to get away.\u00a0 Struggling to his feet, he pushed the boy roughly away; unaware of the pain he was causing his young son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa!\u00a0 Pa, wait.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Unheeding his son\u2019s cries, Ben lurched forward, his steps staggering and uncertain.\u00a0 Not knowing where he was going, not knowing how he\u2019d get there, the man stumbled blindly on.\u00a0\u00a0 The half-eaten root dropped silently from Joe\u2019s hand as he struggled to his feet, and hurried to catch up to his father.\u00a0 The rock-strewn hillside was hard to manage in the best of conditions, but with his mind focused only on the pursuit of his pa, Joe didn\u2019t care which way he went or what he stepped on.\u00a0 Stumbling repeatedly, his tired body failed him and he fell.\u00a0 Landing sharply on his side, Joe screamed out in pain as he slipped into the darkness.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean, they\u2019ve stopped searching?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The angry shout was accompanied by a loud thump as Adam\u2019s hand was slammed against the dark mahogany desk.\u00a0 Thomas Winston, the Cartwright\u2019s attorney, winced in surprise.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t in the least bit worried about his fine piece of furniture; rather, his fleeting thought was for the bruise that would surely develop on his young friend\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hastily pushing himself to a standing position, the well-dressed gentleman strode quickly from the desk and stood before the dark-haired man.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam, you know the Mexican authorities have done all they can.\u00a0 It\u2019s been well over a week since the clipper capsized, and there\u2019s been no sign of survivors in the past four days.\u00a0 The last two were found on a beach south of the border, and it\u2019s still uncertain if that young lady will live.\u00a0 You have to face facts, my boy.\u00a0 With the violent storm, and the ship disintegrating so rapidly, there\u2019s little chance that anyone else made it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, you\u2019re wrong!\u00a0 They\u2019re still alive; I can feel it.\u00a0 And I\u2019m going to find them!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Winston stared in shocked surprise at the large man standing across the room.\u00a0 From the time the Cartwright brothers had stepped into his office, the younger of the two had been silent, content to listen from his seat in the corner.\u00a0 Now, the man was stretched to his full height, visibly shaking with emotion, his hands almost as white as the hat clutched within them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa and Little Joe are alive, and I\u2019m going to find them, with or without your help.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With his last statement, Hoss turned and flung open the door.\u00a0 His retreat was met with total silence as the two remaining men watched him leave.\u00a0 Neither one was sure whom he\u2019d been addressing, but both were certain that the worried man meant exactly what he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Stepping quietly to his window, Thomas looked out over the bay, his gaze drawn to the ships docked below.\u00a0 It was unbelievable that his long-time friend, Ben Cartwright, was gone.\u00a0 He recalled the last time they\u2019d spoken.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was the day before Ben and Joe had set sail; the three men had met for dinner at the prestigious hotel where the Cartwright\u2019s had been staying.\u00a0 Mr. Winston had prepared several documents that Ben had requested, and needed to have them signed before the men departed.\u00a0 After dinner, Joe had excused himself, leaving Tom and Ben to visit alone for several hours.\u00a0 The two men had enjoyed their conversation immensely, and Tom was saddened to think that he\u2019d never enjoy another quite like it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now he was faced with the distressing task of dealing with the remaining sons and their grief.\u00a0 Profoundly aware of what a close family the Cartwrights were, he knew how difficult it would be for Adam and Hoss to go on without their father and younger brother.\u00a0 Yet he also realized that denying their loss would only delay the inevitable.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Winston had fervently hoped he\u2019d be successful in convincing them of the futility of a search, but it was obvious that both of these young men had inherited their father\u2019s stubbornness.\u00a0\u00a0 Lawyer Winston had failed this time, and he found that it was the most emotional failure he\u2019d ever experienced.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s deep voice interrupted his thoughts, and Tom turned slowly to face him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe appreciate what you\u2019re trying to do, Tom, but you have to understand. . .\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Adam\u2019s voice faltered briefly and he rubbed a tired hand across his face.\u00a0 \u201cThis is Pa and Little Joe we\u2019re talking about, and we can\u2019t just give up without even trying.\u00a0 Hoss and I are riding down there, and we\u2019d appreciate your help.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Only the ticking of a clock broke the silence in the office.\u00a0 Its steady tick, tick, tick seemed to grate against Adam\u2019s nerves, but to Tom Winston, it had a calming influence.\u00a0 Turning thoughtfully back to his desk, the lawyer settled into his seat and opened the top drawer.\u00a0 Carefully selecting a sheet of paper, he reached for his pen and ink and then began to write.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now the ticking clock was accompanied by the scratching of pen on paper.\u00a0 Minutes slipped by as Adam watched his father\u2019s friend working diligently over the document.\u00a0 Finally finished, the older man stared briefly at his writing while waiting for the ink to dry; then he folded the parchment and rose from his seat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As Adam stepped forward, Tom held out his hand, yet hesitated to release the missive.\u00a0 His face displayed his inner struggle as he looked across the desk at his friend\u2019s son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam, you and Hoss will be careful?\u00a0 Your father wouldn\u2019t want any harm to come to either of you.\u00a0 He would want you to go on with your lives. .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The dark eyes never faltered, and Adam\u2019s hand remained steady as he reached for the paper.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll be careful, Tom. And . . thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The attorney released his grasp, and the paper instantly disappeared into Adam\u2019s vest pocket.\u00a0 Seconds later the dark haired man was gone, the door closed quietly, yet firmly behind him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Thomas Winston turned back to his window overlooking the bay.\u00a0 His gaze was focused on the water far beyond, as it swirled about the many boats and ships gathered there.\u00a0 A movement to his right brought his attention to the street below, and the sight of a tall white hat disappearing into a cab caused the man to frown.\u00a0 As the carriage pulled away, he could see the two brothers seated next to each other and he breathed a silent prayer for their safety.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe awoke to the sensation of a familiar touch.\u00a0 A hand was smoothing the hair off his forehead, and he turned towards the warmth and love he knew he\u2019d find there.\u00a0 Slowly opening his eyes, Joe was startled at the gaze that met his.\u00a0 Ben was sitting next to his son, shading him with his body.\u00a0 A thin piece of fabric was held loosely in his hand, water dripping slowly from the edge.\u00a0 He smoothed the wet cloth on Joe\u2019s forehead, and the young man was grateful.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n But the fear clutching at his heart would not subside.\u00a0 The look he\u2019d seen in his father\u2019s eyes was frightening and Joe didn\u2019t quite know what to expect.\u00a0 Was Ben angry?\u00a0 Was he simply worried?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s about time you woke up, boy.\u00a0 How many times have I told you to watch where you\u2019re going?\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a long way to travel, and you falling down and hurting yourself isn\u2019t going to help us get there.\u00a0 Now sit up here for a minute then we\u2019ll get started.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Shocked by the terse words and gruff tone, Joe pulled himself up, never taking his eyes from his father\u2019s face.\u00a0 Though the man looked like his pa, his words and actions seemed to contradict that fact.\u00a0 Breathing deep in an effort to calm his panic, Joe struggled to his feet.\u00a0 This in itself seemed to anger Ben Cartwright.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you doing?\u00a0 I just told you to sit up!\u00a0 You don\u2019t ever listen, boy.\u00a0 Now do what I said and sit down here to rest for a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In his feverish mind, Ben didn\u2019t realize that pulling his son roughly forward had caused the young man unimaginable pain.\u00a0 The only thought he could seem to focus on was the insolent way his boy refused to obey him.\u00a0 Once more he turned on his son in anger.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBoy!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n But Little Joe had once again slipped into a comforting oblivion.\u00a0 His last conscious thought was simply a question:\u00a0 Why doesn\u2019t Pa use my name?<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, are you feeling better now?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pulling himself up carefully, Joe looked around, struggling to remember what had happened.\u00a0 And suddenly it came rushing back to him, his father\u2019s strange behavior; at first calm and relaxed, then nervous or angry.\u00a0 Joe knew it was the head wound that was causing the strange behavior, yet he wished for something, anything to be able to help his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Looking at the gray-haired man now, he seemed the same Pa that Joe had always known.\u00a0 Yet the comment Ben had just made seemed rather out of context for the normally solicitous father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSorry, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His own pain ignored, Joe steadied himself as the two men struggled to their feet and started up the path once more, neither one aware that they were being watched.\u00a0\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until they reached a small outcropping of rock that Joe heard the rustling off to his left.\u00a0 Stopping several times to peer into the underbrush, he gasped in surprise when he finally realized there was a pair of dark brown eyes watching him intently.\u00a0\u00a0 Grabbing Ben\u2019s arm, he pointed towards the side of the trial, and they watched quietly as the small boy came slowly towards them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s shoulders sagged as the weariness overcame him again, and Joe eased him gently to the ground.\u00a0 It seemed to take forever for the young child to approach, but when he finally stepped in front of them, his greeting was clear and bright.\u00a0 However, neither of the men could manage to reply in the boy\u2019s native tongue, and it was immediately apparent that the child did not understand English.\u00a0 But one thing was certain, he was aware of the seriousness of their predicament.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With indiscernible words and various hand motions, it was soon clear that he was urging the men to follow him.\u00a0 There was no need to invite them twice; Ben and Joe were overjoyed to finally be in the presence of another human being, no matter what the age.\u00a0 After their initial shock, the weary men struggled to follow him as the boy scurried down the path.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The tired men stretched their legs out before the crackling fire as they slowly relaxed beside its warmth.\u00a0 With minimal conversation being shared, the older man watched over the coffee pot while the younger of the two prepared a simple meal of beans.\u00a0 When the preparations were complete, he ladled up a serving on a thin metal plate and handed it over the fire to his brother.\u00a0 Now the only sounds to be heard were an occasional clinking of utensils against the plates, along with the snapping fire as the branches burned brightly between them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Neither man was hungry. For the most part, they each spent their time rearranging the beans from one side of their plate to the other.\u00a0 It was the big man who finally broke the uneasy silence.\u00a0 Laying his plate on the ground, he dropped his head in his hands, sighing deeply before attempting to speak.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI just can\u2019t stand this, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A look of love and concern passed briefly over the smaller man\u2019s face, but he found that no words of comfort would come.\u00a0 His own throat was constricted, and there was an ache in his heart so deep it felt as if the feeling would overwhelm him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As Adam sat there silently, his thoughts continued to center on the missing members of his family.\u00a0 His father, a man so full of strength and determination, yet filled with so much love for his sons that he could comfort his children with a tender touch.\u00a0 And his brother. . that irascible youth who was still part boy, part man; a dark-haired bundle of energy that both infuriated him and stunned him with such deep feelings of love.\u00a0 How could he and Hoss go on without the two of them?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A sigh from across the fire brought Adam\u2019s attention back to focus on the here and now.\u00a0 His remaining brother was hurting as much as he was. Somehow they had to help each other deal with the emotional turmoil, if they where to have the physical strength to continue their journey.\u00a0 It was a daunting task, this endeavor they\u2019d begun.\u00a0 Two men alone, attempting to find two other men in a strange and barren country.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He knew that Tom Winston had been correct in doubting their intentions, yet Adam also knew that he and Hoss had no other choice.\u00a0 If there were any chance that Pa and Joe were alive, the brothers would search to the ends of the earth itself to find them.\u00a0 There was just no way around it, no discussion to be held, no question to be answered.\u00a0 Each of them had understood the other from the very moment they\u2019d received the telegram.\u00a0 Now it was just a matter of keeping their focus on the task ahead, and supporting each other during the process.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With an inaudible sigh, Adam pulled himself up and moved around the fire.\u00a0 Dropping back on his heels next to Hoss, Adam laid a tentative arm across his brother\u2019s back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe can\u2019t give up, Hoss.\u00a0 If they\u2019re alive, we\u2019ll find them.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut what if . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cUntil I see for myself to the contrary, I\u2019m going to assume that they\u2019re out there somewhere. Alive.\u00a0 And I\u2019ll keep searching until I find them.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam studied his silent brother as the large man stared into the flames, and it was with great hesitation that he spoke again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSo. . . are you with me?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou know I am, Adam.\u00a0 It\u2019s just . . . I keep imaging what it would be like if I never saw Pa again, or heard Little Joe laughin\u2019, and it just gets so . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u00a0 I feel the same way.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n They sat there wordlessly, for a long time.\u00a0 Each man still caught in a web of memories, neither willing nor able to pull themselves from their reminiscing.\u00a0 It was late when they finally settled back into their bedrolls and drifted off to sleep.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The small dwelling matched the landscape so well, that Joe was amazed when he stepped into the tiny yard in front of the adobe house.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t realized that there was a building there, let alone an inhabited home.\u00a0 The young boy had run ahead and was even now leading a woman from the doorway.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Small and dark, but fairly young, the boy\u2019s mother looked at the two men with obvious distrust.\u00a0 She watched them as they stumbled into the yard and after several minutes of conversation with her son, she seemed resolved to the men\u2019s presence.\u00a0 Stepping up to Ben, she reached a supportive arm about his waist and guided him into the house.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Even at his height, Joe found that he had to stoop to enter the building.\u00a0 Its rough walls were thick and sturdy, and Joe was pleasantly surprised at the coolness within.\u00a0 Ben was already settled on a low cot positioned along the far wall, his face a study of mixed confusion and surprise.\u00a0 Struggling on their own for so long, father and son were almost speechless now that they\u2019d found someone to help them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A small girl had been playing in front of the doorway when they entered, but she was now curled into a small ball on another cot across the room.\u00a0 Her dark eyes followed every movement, from that of her mother and brother to the two strangers who now filled her home. However, the woman did not spare a glance for her daughter, instead busying herself with various tasks.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hurrying back and forth across the room, the dark-haired woman quickly had a simple meal prepared and set before them.\u00a0 The fare was meager, but Joe relished each bite of his tortilla, and from the look on Ben\u2019s face, he felt the same.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The only problem was, the woman had only provided them with a small quantity, and Joe was intensely aware that the unexpected company might cause undue hardship on this poor family.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe had no way of knowing that the woman was concerned for their emaciated condition.\u00a0 She had lived in this country her whole life, and was well aware of the effect that could be brought on by eating too quickly or too heavily after having gone for so long without.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n So the woman set the wooden bowl back on her workbench in the corner, and motioned for the men to lay down to rest.\u00a0 Once again they responded immediately, each laying on what only now, seemed like luxurious accommodations.\u00a0 Within moments, both men were asleep.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was morning before Ben opened his eyes again.\u00a0 Looking around the small hovel, he strained to remember what had happened and why he was lying here alone.\u00a0 Sitting up carefully, he raised a tired hand to his head and held it as the room seemed to spin slowly around him.\u00a0 Bits and pieces of memory came to him as he struggled to remain upright:\u00a0 the shipwreck, their time on the beach, walking along a small stream, Joe\u2019s face as he looked into his father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 Joe . . .\u00a0 what happened to Joe?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The slow spin evolved into a devilish whirl as Ben pulled himself to his feet.\u00a0 He wanted to call out for his son, but his mind focused solely on his ability to stay erect.\u00a0 Grabbing about for something to hold onto, Ben was surprised to find an arm suddenly grasping his shoulders and easing him smoothly back to the rickety bed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa!\u00a0 What are you doing?\u00a0 You need to stay in bed and rest.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Looking about the room, Joe quickly found what he was searching for and promptly retrieved a cup of water.\u00a0 Lifting his father\u2019s shoulders gently from the bed, he held the cool water to Ben\u2019s lips and waited while the man took a tenuous sip.\u00a0 Moments later, Ben was once again settled on the bed and Joe squatted on the floor next to him, watching carefully for any unusual signs.\u00a0\u00a0 A weak voice reached out to him from the cot.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe.\u00a0 You alright, son?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Pa, I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 You\u2019re the one I\u2019m worried about.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m okay, just wish this headache would go away.\u00a0 Where are we, anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t you remember the boy out in the brush?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSome . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s hesitant look convinced Joe that he really didn\u2019t remember, so for the next few minutes, the son described the past events to his father.\u00a0\u00a0 An immense relief surged through him when he realized that Ben was listening and following his commentary closely, and at no time had his pa resorted to his earlier confusion.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t long before Ben\u2019s eyes drifted closed, and Joe sat back on his heels to watch his father sleep.\u00a0 The head wound had obviously been serious, and Joe longed for home and the good Doctor Martin to tend his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Quietly leaving his father\u2019s bedside, Joe stepped out into the sunshine and silently watched the woman going about her daily chores.\u00a0 His stomach, though hungry for a meal, no longer had that inside-out feeling of the day before. A fact he was extremely grateful for.\u00a0 Watching her now, busily moving about a small fire pit, Joe wondered at the items she was preparing.\u00a0 He longed to ask her the questions that plagued him.\u00a0 Why was she out here alone?\u00a0 Was there a village nearby?\u00a0 Did she have a man who would be returning soon?\u00a0\u00a0 But the language barrier stood between them, stalwart as any brick wall might be.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rubbing his temples wearily, Joe allowed his eyes to close for a moment, a detail that did not escape the watchful eyes of the senora.\u00a0 Stepping to his side, she grasped his good arm tenderly and guided him to a bench along the wall.\u00a0 As she carefully pulled the soiled cloth from his shoulder, he wondered at the way her voice suddenly changed.\u00a0 A continuous stream of words descended around him and from the sound of it, she was obviously chastising him.\u00a0 Joe winced as he recognized a familiar feeling, and then realized her actions were much the same as HopSing\u2019s.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The dark-haired woman retrieved a wooden bowl and slowly dipped a mixture of water and herbs from a small kettle over the fire.\u00a0 After immersing a clean cloth into the steaming water, she began to gently clean his shoulder, while continuing to mutter reproachfully.\u00a0 Sitting quietly, while the person who ministered to him fussed at him in a foreign tongue, gave an odd feeling of reassurance to the young man and he slowly relaxed.\u00a0 For a moment, he even smiled as he recalled many earlier scenes at home with the beloved Chinaman.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Head bowed forward, Joe sat in the shade of the small building. Minutes later, he was dozing peacefully.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Shielding their eyes from the afternoon sun, two weary travelers sat astride their mounts as they peered down at the city far below them.\u00a0\u00a0 Each hoped, silently, that they would find word there of other survivors, so after a few quiet minutes, they kicked their mounts and began the long descent into Los Angeles.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was several hours later when Adam and Hoss rode into the bustling town.\u00a0 Stopping first at the livery, they made arrangements for their horses; then hurried to the sheriff\u2019s office, as it seemed the best place to start.\u00a0 But when they closed the office door behind them a scant twenty minutes later, the looks they exchanged were full of frustration and disappointment.\u00a0 Hoss was the first to break the silence.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, that was a pure waste of time.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, but we had to try.\u00a0 If there had been more survivors found, the sheriff would\u2019ve been the man who\u2019d know.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, you\u2019re right, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Glancing across the street, Adam stepped off the wooden walkway and hurried towards their next destination.\u00a0 Hoss followed a little more slowly, his own emotions causing him to falter.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With the telegraph line still months from completion and the brothers anxious to learn the latest information, the local newspaper, the Los Angeles Star<\/em>, seemed the most likely place to look.\u00a0 As the Cartwrights entered the busy newspaper office, Adam had a feeling that they\u2019d come to the right place.\u00a0 The room seemed to be almost buzzing with activity.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Several men were working at the front desks, and an older woman was helping customers at the subscription counter.\u00a0 Through a doorway, he could see several typesetters working diligently at their machines, and to his right, a reporter was busy going through a sheaf of papers.\u00a0 After waiting impatiently at the counter, the two men were relieved when one of several office doors opened, and a rather gawky looking man hurried towards them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCan I help you?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir, we\u2019re looking for some information on the shipwreck.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhy yes, that\u2019s definitely important news these days.\u00a0 Just check the recent edition and you can read all about the latest reports.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, you don\u2019t understand.\u00a0 We\u2019re not interested in reading your paper; we\u2019re looking for information that will help us search for. .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh, yes, I do understand.\u00a0 You\u2019re trying to find out something newsworthy before everyone else does, just like all those other people who slip in here from time to time.\u00a0 Well, sir, I\u2019ll tell you the same thing I tell them.\u00a0 The paper comes out tomorrow morning. And you can just wait and read it then.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Taken aback at the man\u2019s impertinent attitude, Adam put his hand on his brother\u2019s arm, realizing the tension that flowed through Hoss would surely find an outlet at some point.\u00a0 He just didn\u2019t want to start a ruckus here, not now, when they could be close to learning something, if only this idiot of a man could be handled with patience.\u00a0 Drawing a calming breath, Adam tried again to explain.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMister….?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOwens.\u00a0 Samuel Owens.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLook, Mr. Owens, our father and brother were on that ship and we\u2019ve ridden a long way to . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMaybe I could help.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam and Hoss both turned to find a middle-aged gentleman watching them, his hand outstretched, a friendly smile upon his face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMay I introduce myself?\u00a0 I\u2019m Jason Perkins, the editor of the Star<\/em>.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you follow me into my office, and we can discuss your situation in private.\u00a0 Owens, I\u2019ll see to these young men, you may continue with your duties.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The previously verbal man was remarkably silent as he turned back to the desk, but his stance showed clearly how put out he was.\u00a0 The two brothers concealed their amusement at the man\u2019s new demeanor as they followed the editor into his office.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The sound of the clock\u2019s ticking filled the otherwise silent room, and Hoss found himself staring at the offending piece in frustration.\u00a0\u00a0 In a sudden flash of memory, he realized there had been another timepiece that had antagonized him with its steady beating.\u00a0 Hoss had a strange picture of the steady tick-tock actually clicking away the minutes of a man\u2019s life.\u00a0 Clenching his hands, as if in defiance, he shook his had sharply.\u00a0 \u2018No, NO, they\u2019re alive, both of them.\u00a0 They have to be.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to find them.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n But thinking back over the day\u2019s events, Hoss couldn\u2019t help but admit there wasn\u2019t a lot of evidence to encourage them.\u00a0\u00a0 Although Mr. Perkins had been very friendly, and quite anxious to assist the Cartwrights, it had been obvious that his main objective was to find another story for his paper.\u00a0 Even as they\u2019d left his office, the man had followed them out to remind the brothers that if they did find their missing family members, they should be sure and give all the interesting details to the Star<\/em>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam had been the one who\u2019d almost lost his temper then, and Hoss couldn\u2019t help but grin at the look of fury on the face of his normally calm brother.\u00a0 But at least they\u2019d walked away with several useful pieces of information.\u00a0 They now had a specific location of the wreck, and a better understanding of what areas had been searched, and when.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Later, over dinner in the hotel restaurant, the brothers discussed and decided on their search plan, and first thing in the morning, they would put that plan into action.\u00a0 Heading south towards an old mission where an army unit now resided, they would use their letter from Thomas Winston in the hope of gaining some assistance from the soldiers.\u00a0 Then they would move southwest towards the coastline and begin a diligent search for Pa and Little Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Settling down on his hotel bed, Hoss clasped both hands behind his head as he gazed at the ceiling above him.\u00a0 Satisfied that they\u2019d checked into every lead available to them, he spent this quiet time thinking of his missing father and brother.\u00a0 He drew up memories of happy times with his family, hoping to dispel the sadness that continued to clutch at his heart.\u00a0 But no matter what scene he recalled, it inevitably dissolved into the image burned in his mind.\u00a0 The sight of a reeling ship, its deck slick with seawater, and two of the people he loved most in this world, being tossed into the darkness of a raging sea.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Almost an hour passed before Adam joined his brother in their hotel room.\u00a0 He\u2019d spent that time wandering aimlessly through the growing city, satisfying his need for privacy even in the busy streets.\u00a0 Adam knew he wasn\u2019t the only one that needed some time alone.\u00a0 Hoss was hurting, too, and sometimes, a man just needed a little space.\u00a0 The two brothers had been together almost every moment since they\u2019d received that telegram. . . how many days had it been now?\u00a0 Days?\u00a0 Was it really days?\u00a0 It seemed as if that life-altering event had taken place months before.\u00a0 Agonizing months.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Moving quietly across the room, Adam was not surprised to see that Hoss had already fallen asleep.\u00a0 Nor was he surprised to see the look of sadness on his brother\u2019s face.\u00a0 What did surprise him was how that expression affected him.\u00a0 Stepping quickly to the small wooden table placed between the two beds, Adam turned the lamp down, relieved that there was no one else in the room to witness the tears that now flowed freely down his own cheeks.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe moved restlessly on the small cot, his shoulder alive with pain.\u00a0 He knew, even without being able to see, that the wound was red and swollen, the infection gaining control with each passing hour.\u00a0 The fever that had only been a minor aggravation at first, was now consuming him.\u00a0 The heat emanating from his body caused him to burn up one moment and shiver the next.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Though the kind lady had done her best to help with her herbs and natural medicines, the earlier lack of medical attention and days without food or proper rest had all taken their toll.\u00a0 No longer was he concerned only for his Pa, Joe now knew that he was also in grave danger.\u00a0 He worried about the consequences of his condition, not for his sake, but for his father\u2019s.\u00a0 \u2018If I get worse, who\u2019s going to help Pa?\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n As he struggled to find a comfortable position on the bed, his mind also struggled with the decision Joe knew, he alone, must make.\u00a0 Should they remain here in this isolated place, or go on in the hope of finding a village?\u00a0 Or, at the very least, someone who could speak their language and help them to find a doctor?\u00a0 Was Pa strong enough to continue, or for that matter, was he?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sitting up slowly, he wondered for a moment about what had become of the young boy.\u00a0 On the second morning, Joe had awoken to find their young rescuer missing.\u00a0 The woman did not seem to be worried or upset, and when he\u2019d tried to ask her with motions and pointing, the senora had only nodded toward the trail then returned to her work.\u00a0 Hence, Joe was left to ponder the child\u2019s absence and what it might mean.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was possible that there were neighbors the boy had been sent to, or maybe even a town or village.\u00a0 Then again, he might have returned to his chore of watching out for the family\u2019s livestock that could be grazing in the hills around them.\u00a0 That first day, after eating and resting awhile, Joe had slowly made his way around the small dwelling, and was quickly aware that there was more to this family than he had first expected.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Although they were obviously not prosperous, there were several pens behind the house, and evidence of cattle and horses being kept there.\u00a0 But with no way to communicate, he was unable to ask the questions he longed to know the answers to.\u00a0 Where was the boy?\u00a0 Where was the woman\u2019s husband?\u00a0 Was he coming home soon?\u00a0 Was there a town or a doctor nearby?\u00a0 Joe almost smiled when he realized he was wishing that he\u2019d paid more attention to Adam\u2019s attempts to teach him some Spanish.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Consumed with worry, questions filling his mind, Joe continued to sit, slumped on the edge of his cot. Without realizing it, he\u2019d dropped his head into his hands, and sat there now, completely lost in thought.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until Ben bumped against the table on his way towards the door that Joe realized his father was up and moving about.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was as if he\u2019d never spoken.\u00a0 Ben seemed intent on something, and although Joe had trouble making out his father\u2019s expression in the dusky interior of the house, he was almost certain the man was scowling.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa, where are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n This time there was a muttered answer, but it was unintelligible and Joe pushed himself up to follow, his own face now wearing a worried scowl.\u00a0 Unfortunately, Ben had already made his way outside and was walking slowly, but purposefully across the yard.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa!\u00a0 Answer me, Pa, where are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hurrying after his father, Joe was almost shocked at the sight of the stooped visage before him.\u00a0 No longer the strong back he was familiar with, instead he was following what looked like a broken man.\u00a0 Shaking his head, Joe pushed the thought from his mind.\u00a0 They were ill, both of them. Injured and ill.\u00a0 He had to get help for his father, there was no use putting it off any longer.\u00a0 They must leave this place and resume their journey toward….\u00a0 towards what?\u00a0 Home?\u00a0 That was unthinkable.\u00a0 Yet, surprisingly, Joe realized that\u2019s exactly what he had been thinking.\u00a0 Home.\u00a0 Just the word gave him the false sense that everything would be alright, if he could just get his father home.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n All these thoughts ran through Joe\u2019s mind as he approached Ben.\u00a0 Several steps were all that was needed to close the gap, and he grasped his father\u2019s shoulder firmly as he questioned him again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa, what\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As the older man turned, Joe never saw the clenched fist that swung toward him with lightening speed.\u00a0 In fact, he wouldn\u2019t have thought it possible for Ben\u2019s reflexes to be so quick after everything his father had been through.\u00a0 However, the blow which caught him on the left cheek was substantial.\u00a0 Although Joe\u2019s body spun to the side, he quickly righted himself and once again hurried to catch his father, totally oblivious to the blood that now streamed down his face.\u00a0 This time he stopped short of reaching out for his pa, simply calling to him instead.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He was surprised to see Ben turn to answer him, and even more surprised at the look on his father\u2019s face.\u00a0 Joe froze in shock at the stark anger his pa turned on him.\u00a0 Even the warm, loving voice was gone.\u00a0 It was as if a stranger stood before him, and Joe took an involuntary step backwards in sheer astonishment.\u00a0 His strangled \u2018Pa\u2019<\/em> was lost in the older man\u2019s shouted answer.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u00a0 What do you want?\u00a0 I told you I\u2019m looking for somebody.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Almost choking in his amazement, Joe struggled to speak clearly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWho are you looking for, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t you hear, boy?\u00a0 I told you earlier, I\u2019m looking for John.\u00a0 The deck should\u2019ve been cleaned hours ago, and here it is almost time to set sail.\u00a0 Where has that boy taken off to now?\u00a0 You find him and tell him to report to me at once!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Turning angrily, Ben moved off again, this time his gait steadier, as if the anger in him were lending strength to his step.\u00a0 Joe fought back his rising fear and once more hurried after his father.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t know how to help Pa, didn\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 This was way out of his range of experience, and no amount of patience seemed to be helping the situation.\u00a0 All he knew for sure was that he needed to keep his father close; couldn\u2019t let Pa wander away on his own.\u00a0 Yet he was totally unprepared as to how to stop the older and larger man.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pleading silently for help, Joe swallowed back tears of frustration as he followed the man he loved above all others.\u00a0 He fought back his own anger and resentment at the events that had left him in this position.\u00a0 Wasn\u2019t he injured too?\u00a0 Didn\u2019t he need his father to watch out for him?\u00a0 And what if Pa didn\u2019t come out of this?\u00a0 What if these strange mood swings were something that would be permanent?\u00a0 Stopping suddenly, he finally admitted the worst fear.\u00a0 What if all these actions were some kind of fatal symptoms?\u00a0\u00a0 Had he made it all this way only to lose his father?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Resuming his course, Joe realized that Ben had already lengthened the distance between them, had left the yard and headed towards the wide path that ran to the east.\u00a0 Glancing over his shoulder, Joe could see the senora standing near the well, her daughter tucked safely under her arm.\u00a0 Seemingly shocked at the spectacle before her, the woman\u2019s expression was one of fear and regret, and Joe longed to holler back words of hope and encouragement.\u00a0 But the longing was useless.\u00a0 Not only did he lack the adequate words, he also lacked even the slightest trace of reassurance to share with her.\u00a0 All he could find within himself was an unnerving sense of panic and foreboding.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It took no more than several minutes to reach his father\u2019s side, and when he was finally close to his pa, Joe spoke to him once more; pleading with him in a quiet and soothing tone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa, why don\u2019t you sit down for a minute?\u00a0 It\u2019s awful hot out here and you\u2019ve had a pretty rough time of it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe never knew if what happened next was an accident; never really cared.\u00a0 The only thing he knew for sure was that his father had suddenly and inexplicably, become his enemy.\u00a0 Although it had seemed, for just a moment, that Ben had recognized his son, the next moment the two men were on the ground, the oldest straddling the youngest.\u00a0\u00a0 Firmly within the older man\u2019s grasp; having been pushed backwards until he fell to the ground, Joe felt the large hands clasped tightly about his throat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Struggling to free himself from the man\u2019s powerful hold, Joe searched Ben\u2019s face for any sign of recognition as he strained to call out to his father.\u00a0 But the man\u2019s face was formidable, his eyes glassy, his tirade unbelievable.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou will not bother my men again!\u00a0 You and your band of cut-throats were warned, but you wouldn\u2019t listen!\u00a0 That young boy you attacked was a lad entrusted to my care.\u00a0 He died, you know.\u00a0 So . . what should I do with you?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was as if the hand of fear was clutching at his heart, squeezing it until he thought his chest would explode from the pain.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s mind was consumed with terror and despair, no longer registering the physical pain from his shoulder or even in his throat where the strong fingers squeezed his breath away.\u00a0 The only pain discernible to the youth was the red-hot, glowing pain of betrayal that burned inside his breast.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n This man who had loved him and nurtured him . . the man who\u2019d been his strength and protection; that same man was now kneeling over him, choking the very life from his body.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Arms flailing uselessly as he tried to break Ben\u2019s hold, Joe kicked and bucked in a final effort to free himself.\u00a0\u00a0 The world around him seemed to take on a strange grayish tinge; still he struggled to speak.\u00a0 But no one heard that final word as Joe slipped away.\u00a0\u00a0 Not even the man, who had finally released his grasp, heard the whispered plea escape the boy\u2019s lips.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa. . . .\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dark arms slowly loosened around the now quiet form, and gently lowered the large man to the ground.\u00a0 His eyes searching about for his family, Carlos Hernandez was relieved to see his wife Maria, hurrying towards him, followed closely by his daughter Marta.\u00a0 Rushing forward, he met them both with open arms, satisfied at last that his family was safe.\u00a0 But his wife quickly escaped his grasp and hurried to the two men lying lifeless on the ground.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The older man was still, having simply collapsed in her husband\u2019s arms, his energy spent.\u00a0 She wasn\u2019t sure if he\u2019d released the younger man before or after Carlos had rushed up to him, but either way, she was thankful that he\u2019d let go in time.\u00a0 Bruises were already forming around the young man\u2019s neck, his breathing weak but steady; yet another blessing she gave thanks for.\u00a0 Now if there were just some way to lessen his fever. . .<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Within minutes, she had directed both Carlos and his hired hand Manuel, to assist her, and the two injured men were quickly settled back in their respective beds.\u00a0 Her ministrations were simple, yet she did the best she could with what she had.\u00a0 As she worked, Maria explained the situation, her own fears relieved when she learned that Francisco had located his father and summoned help for the injured men.\u00a0 Carlos and Manuel explained that they had returned on horseback, leaving Francisco with the cattle at the old mission. But both men assured Maria that help was on the way and should arrive before nightfall.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sitting next to the young man, Maria continued her vigil into the night.\u00a0 There was no sign of consciousness in either man, and her concern was mounting.\u00a0 Although she had been fearful of them when they first arrived, Maria had a feeling that they were good men and worthy of her assistance.\u00a0 It had been obvious that the young man cared a great deal for the older one, and though she wasn\u2019t sure of the relationship until now, she had been certain that they were family.\u00a0 Carlos had confirmed that the name the boy had continued to use, Pa, was indeed an English word for father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Her husband had also told her of the recent shipwreck and they all marveled at the strength of these men, to have made it through such an ordeal, and then to have made their way so far inland on foot.\u00a0\u00a0 And so, long after the sun had set and Marta sent off to bed, Maria and her husband continued to tend the injured men.\u00a0 The young man\u2019s fever was dangerously high, his moans sounding tortured, as if his mind itself was in pain.\u00a0 The older man remained silent, his breathing steady, his heartbeat strong, yet his eyes closed in a deep sleep, one Maria was not sure he\u2019d awaken from.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t until the following morning that a wagon pulled into the yard.\u00a0 Several men jumped down and hurried to the door, and Maria was surprised to see that the men were not from the army garrison, but were instead, Mexican authorities.\u00a0 Although the explanation seemed simple enough, she was not happy about the situation.\u00a0 These men insisted that the American army not be allowed to travel into Mexico to retrieve their citizens, even though they were obviously victims of a tragic accident.\u00a0 Instead, the two men would be transported to the border, where they would be met by the American soldiers.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Unfortunately, Maria and her husband knew all too well how little these Mexican officials cared about American gringos.\u00a0 But no amount of talking or insisting would alter these men\u2019s intentions, and the couple had no wish to bring the wrath of an army down on their young family.\u00a0\u00a0 It was with a heavy heart that Maria helped them load the injured men into the back of the open wagon.\u00a0 She feared that neither man would survive the journey, especially with no one to care for them along the way.\u00a0 Raising her eyes to heaven, the young senora murmured her prayers, and pled for their lives.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The white walls of an old church gleamed in the afternoon sun, the trees around it offering shade from the light and rest to the weary travelers.\u00a0 But the sounds of horses from within the church walls gave those same travelers a peculiar sense of surprise.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Reining in their horses, Adam and Hoss dismounted as they looked closely at the old mission, San Diego de Alcala.\u00a0 It seemed a shame that such a site, chosen and built as a place or worship, should now be used to house animals.\u00a0 However, neither man took time to dwell on the issue, turning instead to the soldier who had quickly approached them.\u00a0 Within minutes, they found themselves ushered into an office and presented to the commanding officer.\u00a0\u00a0 After the initial introductions and pleasantries, Adam came right to the point.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cColonel, our father and brother were on the ship that capsized south of here, and we\u2019d like to ask your help in searching for them.\u00a0 I have with me, a letter from Thomas. . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The look on Colonel Anders face was one of total disbelief and Adam faltered for a moment as he struggled to understand the officer\u2019s strange expression.\u00a0 Looking over at Hoss, he was met with a questioning gaze that he was sure, matched his own.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know this is rather unusual, sir, but if you\u2019d let me . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWait, Mr. Cartwright, I . . . please excuse me, it\u2019s just that . . . did you say father and brother?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Immediately, Adam and Hoss were out of their chairs, alert to the feeling that this officer knew something about Pa and Little Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd they were passengers on the clipper bound for Panama?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, that\u2019s right, but why. . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPlease, sit down, I must tell you something.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The colonel\u2019s tone of voice was enough to keep the brothers standing, their senses fully aware that something strange was about to be revealed.\u00a0 Neither dared to hope that the news they were about to hear would be good.\u00a0\u00a0 But the officer motioned again and they finally returned to their seats, waiting anxiously.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cColonel?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want to get your hopes up, but there was a Mexican boy who came here yesterday, looking for his father.\u00a0 Seems the boy\u2019s family had found two men wandering near their home.\u00a0 Both were injured and from what I understand, not in very good shape.\u00a0 The boy\u2019s father, who had been here selling cattle, left immediately and we sent a wagon after him to bring the injured men back here.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The room was silent as Adam and Hoss digested the news.\u00a0 Strangely, neither felt the elation they\u2019d expected, instead a feeling of dread came over them both as they contemplated the possibilities.\u00a0 What kind of hell had Pa and Joe been forced to endure, and how badly were they injured?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cColonel, is there someone here who can show us where the boy lives?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A look of regret came over the officer as he faced the large man before him.\u00a0 It was obvious that the man was anxious and upset, but he also recognized a depth of feeling in this man that was astounding.\u00a0 No gruffness or bravado was evident, though the man\u2019s size could surely convey that easily enough, instead there was a sense of love that was almost palpable.\u00a0\u00a0 Dropping his voice a bit, the older man spoke warmly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSon, it won\u2019t be that easy.\u00a0 There was a problem when our men tried to cross the border.\u00a0 Even though it was a simple case of retrieving our citizens, the man in charge at their post would not let us pass.\u00a0 Instead, he arranged to send one of their wagons and promised to meet us at the border tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou mean they won\u2019t let you cross the border?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, I\u2019m afraid that\u2019s true.\u00a0 I have tried to contact this man\u2019s superior, but that gentleman is currently out of the area.\u00a0 In fact, I believe that it\u2019s a simple case of a young officer trying to prove his authority.\u00a0 Unfortunately, I\u2019m unable to do more, as I have orders to do nothing to antagonize the Mexicans in this area.\u00a0 You know . . politics.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam was standing next to his brother now, dark eyes flared in anger.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIs there another way to get down there?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, of course, but it would take much longer.\u00a0 This seemed the fastest way to get these men the help they need.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAlright, we\u2019ll go to the border ourselves.\u00a0 Surely they\u2019ll let us cross, since we\u2019re not soldiers.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s possible.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The hesitancy in Colonel Anders\u2019 voice was obvious, and Adam waited expectantly while the older man seemed to struggle within himself.\u00a0 Finally, he spoke again, his voice once more filled with warmth and understanding.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou two must keep in mind, it\u2019s possible that these men aren\u2019t your family.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now the brothers hesitated, neither able to accept that their search might not be over.\u00a0 Could it be a mere coincidence that these two men were found in the same remote area, yet not be Pa or Joe?\u00a0 Of course it was possible that there were other survivors yet unaccounted for.\u00a0 There was no reason to think that the Cartwrights were the only ones capable of escaping such an awful fate.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam and Hoss stood rooted in place, both lost in thought as they contemplated the situation.\u00a0 Once again the colonel broke the silence.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPerhaps we can locate the boy.\u00a0 It\u2019s possible that he\u2019s still here, as his father had not completed his sale; maybe he could give us some kind of description of the injured men.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As the commanding officer left the room in search of some answers, Adam returned to his seat while Hoss moved slowly to the small window.\u00a0 Looking out over the busy post, he watched as the soldiers went about their daily routine.\u00a0 It seemed like a lifetime since he\u2019d worked side by side with his father and brothers on the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Pushing back the nagging thought that they might never work that way again, he turned back to watch his older brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam sat quietly in the wooden chair.\u00a0 Outward appearances would seem to show a man who was calm and in control, as if nothing unusual was taking place.\u00a0 But Hoss knew better.\u00a0 The set of his brother\u2019s jaw, the penetrating gaze from his dark eyes, the stiff set of his shoulders; Hoss knew that Adam had been as taken aback as he was.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n So intent on finding Pa and Little Joe, neither had let themselves dwell on the shape the two might be in when they were found.\u00a0 Of course they had known, instinctively, what the outcome could be, but now they were so close.\u00a0 And not only had they learned that both men were injured, but there could be a serious delay in getting them the help they needed.\u00a0 It took all the control either brother could muster, to keep from storming out of the building and riding off toward Mexico.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The ship\u2019s deck rolled beneath Joe\u2019s feet, the boards slick from the waves. Overhead, the sails snapped in the wind, while the masts creaked from the added strain.\u00a0 Looking about for his father, Joe struggled to make his way toward the bow of the ship, when suddenly a violent jolt threw him from his feet.\u00a0 Clawing frantically to stop his rapid slide towards the edge, he finally found and caught hold of the bottom rail even as his legs slipped over the side.\u00a0 With half of his body dangling off the ship, Joe called out to the one man he knew would help him.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cPa!\u00a0 Pa, help me!\u00a0 I need you, Pa.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n As if waiting for the summons, his father stepped from the shadows and moved towards the railing.\u00a0 Reaching down, he grabbed hold of Joe\u2019s wrists, his grip firm and reassuring to the young man.\u00a0 Relief evident as he let go of the railing and grasped his father\u2019s forearms instead, Joe called out to his father again.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cPull me up, Pa.\u00a0 Please hurry.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Looking up into his father\u2019s eyes, Joe was unexpectedly shaken at the sight.\u00a0 No longer the warm and reassuring gaze of a loving parent, instead he met the cold and heartless stare of a stranger.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Joe pleaded for his father\u2019s help, with his eyes if not his voice.\u00a0 But there was no answer, just a tensing in the hands that still encircled his wrists.\u00a0 Suddenly, instead of pulling the young man to safety, the strong hands released their hold.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n A scream tore from Joe\u2019s throat as he spiraled down into the darkness below.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Everything was still, as if the earth had stopped moving.\u00a0 There was no longer a storm raging around him, no creaking, no rolling of the deck beneath his feet. And when Joe finally managed to open his eyes, he was astonished to see not one, but two pair of dark eyes staring down at him.\u00a0 The bright sunshine of midday finally convinced Joe that he must have been dreaming.\u00a0 It could have been the movement and creaking of the wagon that had blended into his dream, and the jolt might have been nothing more than a rock in the road. Yet the speed, with which his heart beat, convinced him that his fear was real.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s head ached and the heat seemed unbearable.\u00a0 Turning slowly on the pallet, he struggled to understand where he was.\u00a0 What happened to the senora and her children?\u00a0 And how did he end up in the back of a wagon?\u00a0 Where\u2019s Pa?\u00a0 Pa. . . wasn\u2019t it Pa that . .<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Turning his head, it took only an instant for Joe to realize that his father was lying next to him in the bed of the wagon.\u00a0 His reaction would\u2019ve astonished his brothers. More importantly, it would\u2019ve almost killed his father, if the man had been awake to see it.\u00a0 As it was, Ben was still unconscious, blessedly unaware that his youngest son had backed away from him in sheer terror.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThere it is!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Excitement obvious, Adam and Hoss spurred their horses into a gallop.\u00a0 The sight of a wagon driven slowly by two Mexican soldiers was the one they\u2019d been watching for most of the day, and now that it was within view, nothing would stop the brothers from reaching their goal.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The ride had been a quiet one, each man lost in thought as they rode south of the border.\u00a0 After spending several hours with the Mexican authorities early that morning, both Adam and Hoss were grateful that they\u2019re hadn\u2019t been any other problems.\u00a0\u00a0 The superior officer at the post had not been easy to deal with, but Adam had finally convinced them that it was in their best interests to let the Cartwrights pass.\u00a0 It hadn\u2019t hurt to throw in the name of a well-known rancher his father knew south of the border.\u00a0 Since then, time in the saddle was all that separated them from finally reaching Pa and Joe; or so they hoped.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now it was there before them, the wagon in which they prayed, they would find the end of their search.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Since his first cry of excitement, Hoss had ridden with his heart in his throat; now he found that he was almost afraid.\u00a0 As Adam explained their presence to the drivers, Hoss moved to the rear of the wagon, steeling himself to what he might see inside.\u00a0 Peering down, he recognized immediately that their search was finally over.\u00a0 In the next instant, his heart froze in place at the sight of his father.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s eyes were closed and his body so still, it looked as if he had already passed from this life.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In an instant, Hoss was out of the saddle and standing next to the wagon, his large hand reaching over the side to rest upon his father\u2019s chest.\u00a0 The gentle movement there was faint but steady, and Hoss released the breath he\u2019d been holding.\u00a0 Only then did his gaze search for his little brother\u2019s face.\u00a0 This time, he found a pair of hazel eyes staring unseeingly at the sky.\u00a0 Once more his chest constricted and his voice was a mere imitation of its normal self.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With the drivers convinced to accept their presence, Adam had moved quickly to join Hoss.\u00a0 The sight of his father and brother brought a mixture of joy and sorrow to the man; joy that they\u2019d been found alive, sorrow at their situation. It was obvious that both were in very bad shape.\u00a0 Climbing into the back of the narrow wagon, he moved carefully between them as Hoss spoke again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam, is he . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was then that the hazel eyes blinked slowly, and their little brother turned his head toward the sound of their voices.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, Hoss.\u00a0 He\u2019s alive.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n But Adam\u2019s reply was strangled as he took in his brother\u2019s condition.\u00a0 Joe needed a doctor. Now.\u00a0 With a rush of words Hoss didn\u2019t understand, Adam persuaded the Mexican soldiers to resume the journey; then turned to take the saddlebag Hoss was handing in to him.\u00a0\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t a lot he could do, but he\u2019d try. . .<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Handing a canteen of water to his older brother, Hoss tied Sport to the wagon; then stepped into his saddle even as the wagon began to move.\u00a0\u00a0 Urging Chubb forward, he kept pace with the wagon, watching closely as Adam cared for his father and brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pulling a clean shirt from his saddlebag, Adam ripped it into strips.\u00a0 Dampening the first one, he bathed Joe\u2019s face, alarmed at the heat radiating from his brother\u2019s body.\u00a0 He was also surprised at the position that Joe was in.\u00a0 Although there wasn\u2019t a lot of extra space, especially since he\u2019d climbed into the wagon, there was still adequate room for each man to lie comfortably.\u00a0 But Adam found that Joe had pushed himself against the sideboards, almost as if he were trying to get away from something.\u00a0 Changing the cloth on his brother\u2019s forehead, he hoped to see some kind of recognition, but Joe continued to stare upwards, his face expressionless except for an occasional look of pain.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was hard to do much in the cramped quarters, but Adam could tell the bandage tied around Joe\u2019s shoulder was stained with blood.\u00a0 The problem was he had no way of checking the wound as long as they were moving.\u00a0 Part of him longed to stop the wagon and attend to his brother\u2019s injuries, but the other part knew what was needed most was a doctor\u2019s care. So Adam bit down on his lip, and continued his simple ministrations.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Turning slightly, Adam checked on Ben again.\u00a0 Still chewing on his lower lip, the eldest son viewed his beloved father, shocked to see the changes that had taken place in the short time since they\u2019d said goodbye.\u00a0 The man that had stepped onto the stage in Virginia City had been full of life and strength.\u00a0 The man that lay next to him now was thin and pale, a mere shadow of his former self.\u00a0 Laying his hand on Ben\u2019s shoulder, Adam squeezed it gently, longing to know what kind of trials these two had endured.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A low moan brought his focus back to Joe, and Adam quickly removed the now-warm cloth and replaced it with a cooler one.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Can you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was no answer, just a twisting of his brother\u2019s head, as if the boy were looking for something.\u00a0 Suddenly, the movement increased as Joe began to thrash about and his moaning grew louder.\u00a0 The words, however, were incoherent and Adam struggled to understand what his brother was trying to do.\u00a0 Was he searching for something or trying to escape?\u00a0 Adam decided it didn\u2019t really matter as he strained to hold his brother down.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Even in the young man\u2019s weakened condition, he managed to command a great deal of strength, and Adam was amazed at the rippling muscles beneath the thin shirt.\u00a0 But as Joe writhed back and forth, Adam had his first good look at his brother\u2019s neck. The bruises there were unmistakable and Adam suddenly felt sick to his stomach.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dark blue and black, the prints had obviously been made by a man\u2019s hands.\u00a0 Someone had choked Little Joe, strangled him to the point of . . .\u00a0 of what?\u00a0 How bad had it been?\u00a0 Who would\u2019ve done such a thing, and what would\u2019ve been the motive?\u00a0 It was obvious that neither man had anything to steal. Nor were they in any shape to attack anyone else.\u00a0 And from what he\u2019d learned from the army, the family that had found Pa and Joe were good people, not prone to anger or violence.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The mystery of it was not as unsettling as the sight itself. Pulling Joe\u2019s shirt closed quickly, Adam prayed that Hoss hadn\u2019t seen the marks.\u00a0 There was no sense adding more heartache to the already heartsick man; time enough to deal with the details when Joe was better and could tell it for himself. \u00a0That is, if he got better.\u00a0 Adam didn\u2019t have long to dwell on that thought.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With a sudden cry of anguish, Joe managed to yank himself from Adam\u2019s grasp and once more pushed himself into the side of the wagon.\u00a0 The eyes were still focused on some unseen vision, but now they were also filled with fear.\u00a0 Pushing down his rising panic, Adam kept his voice calm as he crooned to his little brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s alright, Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s Adam.\u00a0 Hoss is here, too, and Pa\u2019s safe.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got ya, boy.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got ya.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With these last words, Adam managed to pull Joe into his arms, holding him gently as the boy finally began to relax.\u00a0 Although he seemed calmer, there was still no sign that Joe was aware of his brother\u2019s presence. Looking up, Adam could see his own trepidation mirrored in another pair of eyes.\u00a0 Hoss continued to ride alongside, never taking his gaze from the scene playing out in the back of the wagon.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was another quiet ride for the two brothers, but this time, the flicker of hope had grown into a flame.\u00a0 No longer were they merely searching, wondering if they\u2019d ever see Pa and Joe again.\u00a0 They\u2019d completed that part of their journey, proved that their intuition had been correct.\u00a0 Unknowingly, Adam and Hoss were both mixing similar prayers of pleas and thanksgiving.\u00a0 For even though Pa and Little Joe were still in grave condition, whatever had happened was in the past.\u00a0 No one could hurt them, now that the injured men were at last safe in the arms of the family that loved them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n On the wagon seat above them, two disinterested militants slowly guided the group north, towards the border.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Shadows of dusk had turned to night by the time the wagon reached the Mexican post.\u00a0 Adam looked about frantically, worried that the American soldiers had not been allowed to wait there as agreed upon.\u00a0 But within minutes, Sergeant Wilson with his lantern held high, could be seen hurrying towards the wagon.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The transfer that followed was quick and well executed.\u00a0 Stretchers were produced, and the injured men carefully moved from the open wagon to an ambulance wagon covered in white canvas.\u00a0 The army surgeon took control and immediately dismissed Hoss and Adam to wait outside.\u00a0 With only his aide in attendance, the doctor began to examine his patients, dutifully conscious of the worried men awaiting his diagnosis.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Barely ten minutes had passed when the doctor, Major Emmons, emerged from beneath the tarp and gave his directions, pausing only to utter a few encouraging words to the anxious brothers.\u00a0 It was clearly apparent that he was eager to return to his own office. Even with the doctor\u2019s reassurances, Adam sensed that his pa and brother were still in grave danger.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The lone wagon moved off into the night, its top reflected in the light of the rising moon.\u00a0 The men riding behind were grateful that the remaining trip was to be a short one; it was long past time for the weary travelers to reach the end of their journey.\u00a0 Hoss and Adam couldn\u2019t help wondering how long before the full circle would come to pass; before the Cartwright family would once more be safe at home on the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As the evening lengthened, the sounds were mesmerizing and for the tired men, they tended to blend together.\u00a0 There was the creaking of leather saddles, bits jingling, steady hoof beats of the horses as they plodded onward.\u00a0 Mixed in were the loud creaks of the wagon as it rolled over the rough road, the harnessed horses straining in the dark as they pulled their burden towards home.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss couldn\u2019t help but drop his head as the night wore on.\u00a0 It had been a long day; heck, it had been a long string of days since they\u2019d first headed out to find Pa and Little Joe.\u00a0 His body was tired. Tired of the riding and tired from the stress of worrying.\u00a0 Even his mind craved respite from the tension.\u00a0 But he wouldn\u2019t let himself give in to the temptation. Pulling himself straighter in the saddle, he watched his older brother riding just off to his right.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s dark clothing made him almost one with the night, and Hoss strained to see the man\u2019s profile in the darkness.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He longed to speak to his brother, needed to hear that deep voice reassuring him that everything would be alright.\u00a0 But Hoss wasn\u2019t a boy any longer and he knew that no words would truly assure him that this ordeal was over.\u00a0 He also knew that Adam was fighting his own fears. Still, he wished with all his heart that they could talk.\u00a0 Maybe then they could help each other, the way he and Joe did.\u00a0 For the younger brothers, it had always been that way. Together, Joe and Hoss could talk about anything.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n But it was different with Adam.\u00a0 At times, it seemed as if he had built a wall around himself.\u00a0 Was it a wall to keep Adam in or the rest of the world out?\u00a0 Maybe it was simply Adam\u2019s means of protection. He\u2019d endured enough pain in his young life, losing three mothers, forced to be a man while he was still a boy. . . But Hoss knew that you could break through that wall, it just had to be done carefully.\u00a0 And right now, he simply didn\u2019t have the strength to try.\u00a0 He\u2019d let Adam stay within his self-imposed barriers, and struggle to deal with his own feelings like any man would.\u00a0 Still, it hurt to feel alone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Lost in his thoughts Hoss dozed, albeit lightly, and it was Chubb that woke him as the gelding finally stopped and shook his head.\u00a0 The majestic white walls of the old mission shone in the moonlight, and the sight of this beautiful church in the middle of nowhere, once more fascinated Hoss.\u00a0 But the increased activity brought him quickly into the present.\u00a0 Already the doctor was directing the removal of his patients from the wagon and into the infirmary.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss hurried to catch up to Adam who was at the back of the wagon helping with Joe\u2019s stretcher.\u00a0\u00a0 Though his fever was obviously high, the boy was deathly quiet, and his brothers exchanged looks of fear at his unusual countenance.\u00a0 Moving together, they shared the burden of his meager weight, carrying him quickly into the building where he was moved gently onto a hospital bed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Once again, the doctor sent them away.\u00a0 Although his manner was kind, it was clear that he did not need or desire their presence while treating his patients, even if it was their family.\u00a0 And so they found themselves standing in a small office, alone.\u00a0 Several wooden chairs were available, but neither man had any wish to make use of them.\u00a0 Instead, they merely stood silent or paced about the tiny room.\u00a0 Not even the ticking of a small mantle clock registered in their tired brains.\u00a0 In fact, the men had a vague sense that time simply stood still.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Golden rays of sunshine filtered through the narrow windows, giving the whitewashed room a golden glow.\u00a0 Stretching slowly, Adam rose from the bed where he\u2019d spent a restless night, pausing briefly to watch Hoss sleeping in the next bed.\u00a0 It had been late when the doctor had finally convinced them to get some rest, and even later before either brother had been able to relax enough to sleep.\u00a0 Watching Hoss now, he reasoned that one of them at least, deserved a few more hours of respite.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Major Nathaniel Emmons was a middle-aged, career-army doctor. Although it was obvious that he liked to do things in the military fashion of following each rule and regulation to the letter, the man had been kind enough to grant the family some extra consideration.\u00a0 It had taken several hours before the major had time to speak to the worried men, and he\u2019d returned to find the brothers pacing his office like a pair of caged cougars.\u00a0 It was readily apparent that they would not be compliant unless they were in close proximity to the injured men. And in all fairness, he knew he\u2019d feel the same if it had been his own family.\u00a0 The doctor\u2019s resulting decision broke his own cardinal rule.\u00a0 Much to the surprise of his aide and assistant surgeon, Major Emmons assigned Adam and Hoss Cartwright, each, a bed in the infirmary.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n However, he wondered later if that had been the best choice.\u00a0 During the remainder of the night, while the doctor and his staff worked to lower Joe\u2019s temperature, the young man\u2019s brothers had remained watchful. As if fearful that, should they shut their eyes, they might wake to find the boy was gone.\u00a0 The doctor couldn\u2019t help but think that they would have been more relaxed in the officer\u2019s quarters.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Placing yet another cloth upon his young patient\u2019s brow, the troubled doctor looked up to see the dark haired man moving towards him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGood morning, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMajor.\u00a0 How is he?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAbout the same, fever\u2019s still very high and he hasn\u2019t regained consciousness.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been wondering if he might be reliving his experiences.\u00a0 He seems to get very agitated and mumbles incoherently for a bit, then settles down without fully waking up.\u00a0 There\u2019s no telling what kind of trauma he\u2019s been through, but it\u2019s obvious that he\u2019s exhausted, which doesn\u2019t help as his body tries to fight this infection.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Moving to a chair on the other side of Joe\u2019s bed, Adam seated himself quietly.\u00a0 With one hand resting on Joe\u2019s good shoulder, he gazed down at his youngest brother while fingering the boy\u2019s unruly curls with his other hand.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t help but notice the dark bruises, a stark contrast to the white of the hospital bed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat about his shoulder?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI was correct in my first concerns there.\u00a0 The infection was advanced, and although I was forced to remove some of the tissue around the wound before suturing, I believe it will heal nicely.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A low moan behind him interrupted the men\u2019s conversation and Adam turned quickly to place a hand upon his father\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd Pa?\u00a0 Has there been any change in his condition?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u00a0 As I told you last night, your father has suffered a severe head injury.\u00a0 I believe there may have been a fracture to his skull. But with no information regarding the injury, his earlier symptoms, or the length of time he\u2019s been unconscious, all we can do now is wait.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A low voice behind them, immediately redirected their attention.\u00a0 Hoss stood at the end of Joe\u2019s bed, his gaze moving back and forth between Ben and Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI appreciate your putting their beds so close together.\u00a0 I know Joe will be looking for Pa as soon as he wakes up; they\u2019re very close.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Major Emmons nodded his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt seemed the right thing to do.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The men settled into a routine of sorts.\u00a0 Taking turns at either bedside, applying cold compresses to Joe, speaking quietly to Ben. The brothers did everything they could to stay close and assist the doctor.\u00a0 Even their meals were brought to his office, neither Adam nor Hoss venturing far from the sick ward.\u00a0 The stress was wearing on both of them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Late that afternoon, Adam realized Hoss was sitting by himself, the look on his face one of despair.\u00a0 He knew a sense of regret for not having taken the time to talk with his brother.\u00a0\u00a0 At first there had been little time, as they worked to bring the injured men back to the fort.\u00a0 Later, he found that he avoided conversation with his brother, partly due to the questions they both had about Joe\u2019s injuries.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss had barely concealed his dark look of anger when he first caught sight of Joe\u2019s neck.\u00a0 With both men still unconscious, there was no way to get any answers, a fact that weighed heavily on the brothers.\u00a0 How could they look for retribution when they had no idea what circumstances had preceded Joe\u2019s injuries?\u00a0 No one could imagine anything occurring during a shipwreck that would cause the marks he bore.\u00a0 It was too obvious that the imprints were those of human hands.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After positioning yet another cool cloth on Joe\u2019s forehead, Adam moved quietly across the room and pulled a chair close to his brother.\u00a0 As soon as Adam sat down, Hoss dropped his head in his hands, the big shoulders trembling.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHow ya doing?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam\u2019s voice was low; its deep tone unmistakably gentle.\u00a0 He waited patiently while the larger man regained control, his own hands twined together nervously.\u00a0 Being an older brother wasn\u2019t easy, but he\u2019d always felt a sense of responsibility to his younger siblings.\u00a0 It just seemed harder to be positive this time; there was such an underlying element of fear involved.\u00a0 Uncertain as to what Pa and Joe had endured and if they would even survive, left him feeling terrified.\u00a0 How could he encourage Hoss to be strong and optimistic, when he was feeling so lost himself?\u00a0 It suddenly occurred to him, that the one man he needed to talk with was the one he was most likely to lose.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Looking over at his pa, Adam prayed that the man would come through this, and with sudden inspiration, turned back to Hoss with the only words of encouragement that seemed appropriate.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHoss, you know what Pa would tell us to do now.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Behind the large hands, a thin voice whispered back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPray.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Something seemed different; the quiet wasn\u2019t as deep, yet he felt calmer, almost at peace.\u00a0 The black void that encompassed him was sliding slowly away, leaving a gray mist that seemed almost familiar.\u00a0 In the background, a murmuring grew louder. It, too, gave him the impression that he should recognize its origin.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Voices . . the murmur was voices.\u00a0 But who was talking?\u00a0 And where was he?\u00a0 The ranch?\u00a0 Had something happened?\u00a0\u00a0 The boys . . where were his boys.\u00a0 Were they alright?\u00a0 Struggling to pull himself from the haze he seemed to be floating in, Ben strained to reach out for his sons, to call them to him.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n Adam!\u00a0 Hoss!\u00a0\u00a0 Joe!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Everyone froze at the sound of the ragged shouts.\u00a0 Seconds later, the narrow bed was surrounded by bodies.\u00a0 The doctor was hard pressed to gain control as the father caught sight of his oldest sons, and the two harried looking men were also on the verge of losing control.\u00a0 It took several minutes for the Major to calm his distraught patient, but in truth, it was actually Adam\u2019s firm voice that finally brought Ben back to himself.\u00a0 The deep baritone rang through the room as he raised his voice a third time in an effort to get his father\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s gaze finally focused on Adam\u2019s face and he slowly reached up to touch his son\u2019s cheek, as if struggling to confirm that Adam was really there.\u00a0 His voice was weak now, his initial strength gone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In the next instant, he caught sight of Hoss who was now hunkered down next to his side.\u00a0 The big man stared unerringly into his father\u2019s eyes while his own filled with moisture.\u00a0 Once again, the voice was faint but puzzled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHoss?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Pa.\u00a0 We\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben lay back upon his pillow, his pain obvious, yet his eyes continued to search for another face.\u00a0 But his final question was almost lost as he slipped into a dreamless sleep.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss stood up as Adam slowly let go of his father\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDoctor?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s alright, he\u2019s just sleeping now.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, what do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m relieved, Adam.\u00a0\u00a0 As I told you last night, the longer your father remained in a coma, the more concerned I was that he might never awaken.\u00a0 Now my prognosis is greatly improved.\u00a0 He\u2019s not only been conscious, he\u2019s spoken, and he recognized both of you.\u00a0 All of these are excellent signs, and I\u2019d say, with proper rest and good nutrition, your father may make a full recovery.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The silence in the room was deafening, but the relief was obvious.\u00a0 Neither son could speak, as both digested the news about their father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Several hours passed, and Hoss continued to sit by his brother\u2019s bed, gently sponging the boy\u2019s feverish brow.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t get past the change in Joe\u2019s appearance. \u00a0Thin and haggard, his pale face a stark contrast to the dark bruises below his chin, the boy looked like he\u2019d been through hell.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHoss?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Startled at the thin voice behind him, Hoss turned immediately to see his father watching him through narrowed eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u00a0 Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Although he couldn\u2019t hide his excitement, Hoss did his best to keep his voice low as he moved closer to his father\u2019s bed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHow ya feelin\u2019, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine, Hoss.\u00a0 Where\u2019s Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s right here.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Moving slightly to the side, Hoss gave Ben his first glimpse at his youngest son.\u00a0 The worried father drew a sharp breath as he caught sight of the boy\u2019s profile; the flushed face belying the fever Joe was fighting.\u00a0 Struggling to quell his own flashes of pain, Ben drew himself up on one elbow in an effort to see.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe hasn\u2019t come to yet, Pa. It looks like he\u2019s been close several times. Like maybe he was dreamin\u2019 or somethin\u2019, but then he quiets down again.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t you remember?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sinking back against the thin pillow, Ben gently rubbed his head, the flashes of pain growing stronger and more frequent.\u00a0 Hoss watched his father closely, worried that his pa\u2019s injury had affected his memory.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, I remember . . some.\u00a0 The ship going down . . . we ended up on a beach, somewhere.\u00a0 I think . . I was in pretty bad shape for awhile. . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s voice broke off, his eyes focused on a point far away, as if seeing a picture from the past.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t realize that he\u2019d gained an audience, as Adam and the doctor stood several feet away.\u00a0 But Hoss\u2019s gentle chiding brought him quickly back to the present.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDo you remember anything else, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNot much . . walking.\u00a0 I think we walked a ways.\u00a0 Joe used his shirt for . . for a bandage, I think.\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, for my head, it was bleeding.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As he spoke, Ben lifted a hand and warily felt the wound his son had cared for, before turning back slowly.\u00a0 It was clear that he was growing tired, his voice weak when he spoke again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe took care of me . . I think.\u00a0 There was sand . .yes, and water . . he helped me up a rocky hill. . . but that\u2019s all.\u00a0 I can\u2019t remember any more.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Looking up, Ben\u2019s gaze met that of his older sons, for Adam had moved quietly forward and was now within his father\u2019s sight.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t remember anything else. . just pain.\u00a0 The pain was so bad . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The father\u2019s eyes were filled, now, with a different type of pain as he stared up at his sons.\u00a0 What kind of terror had they lived through, and what did Joe have to endure alone because his father was too sick to help him.\u00a0 Ben was overwhelmed with concern for his youngest boy, and his eyes seemed to search for solace, something Hoss and Adam were quick to provide.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s alright now, Pa.\u00a0 You\u2019re both safe here at the garrison; the doctor said you\u2019re going to be okay, and Joe will be fine too.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you get some rest now?\u00a0 We\u2019ll be here when you wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss nodded as his brother spoke gently to their father.\u00a0 Both men were relieved when Ben didn\u2019t argue, merely turning his head to watch his youngest.\u00a0 Minutes later, his eyes slid closed as he fell asleep.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n *********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Night had not yet turned to day when Joe finally opened his eyes.\u00a0 The flickering light of a kerosene lamp threw a series of strange shadows about the room, and Joe found that he was almost fearful as he strained to see around him.\u00a0 As his eyes grew accustomed to the feeble light, Joe looked to his left, and was surprised to see his brother Adam.\u00a0 Seated in a straight-backed chair, his head lolling gently to the side as he dozed, Adam looked exhausted.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As he watched his brother slowly come awake, Joe speculated on where he was and what had happened to him.\u00a0 Moving carefully on the narrow bed, he froze instantly.\u00a0 Bright spots of light in front of his eyes were testimony to the pain that shot through his shoulder when he stirred, and as he swallowed convulsively, a similar shaft of pain tore through his throat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The moaning finally alerted Adam to his brother\u2019s distress.\u00a0 Leaning forward now that he was fully awake, he reached out to grasp Joe\u2019s hand, pulling back in surprise when their eyes met.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Joe, it\u2019s Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At first it was almost as if Joe didn\u2019t know him, yet he did.\u00a0 There was an undeniable look of recognition in his eyes.\u00a0 Still, Adam had the distinct impression that his brother was afraid of something, but what?\u00a0\u00a0 Joe continued to moan in pain, even as he pulled his body into itself.\u00a0 Just like when they were in the wagon, it seemed as if Joe were trying to hide from something.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam shook his brother gently, to no avail.\u00a0 Even the doctor\u2019s assistance brought no relief; Joe seemed to be trapped in a scene that no one else could discern.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n That final cry seemed to break the spell Joe was held in, for as he cried out, he opened his eyes wide, and relaxed, at last.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, Joe, I\u2019m here.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhere . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re at the old mission; been here a couple days now.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIs Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s here.\u00a0 Sleeping right now, but the doctor thinks he\u2019s going to be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The tension finally left Joe\u2019s face as he watched his older brother.\u00a0 Hazel eyes met dark brown, as if searching for reassurance.\u00a0 Adam smoothed the blankets back over his injured brother; then laid another wet cloth across his brow.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cEverything\u2019s alright, Joe.\u00a0 You get some rest now.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With a low moan as he leaned back on the pillow, Joe closed his eyes, as a feeling of protection wrapped itself around him.\u00a0 Adam wouldn\u2019t let anything happen.\u00a0 Whatever was trying to reach him wouldn\u2019t have a chance as long as his brother was nearby.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam didn\u2019t miss the sigh that escaped the young man\u2019s lips.\u00a0 Wondering, briefly, about its origin, he also pondered another point.\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t Joe ask to see Pa?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n *********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben turned carefully on his cot, his efforts giving him a slightly different view from which he could see the gentle rise and fall of his son\u2019s chest; a comforting sight for the worried father.\u00a0 Recalling the events of the past few days, Ben couldn\u2019t help but be amazed at the resiliency of his youngest boy.\u00a0 After Joe\u2019s first period of wakefulness, it was only a matter of hours before the doctor declared the fever had broken.\u00a0 The rest of the family had watched closely, but from that point on, Joe had grown stronger. And though he still slept most of the time, he was definitely looking better.\u00a0 The harrowing experience would no doubt leave its mark on Little Joe, but Ben had been hopeful that in the end, his son would be the stronger for it.\u00a0 His hopes were somewhat dashed, however, after what he\u2019d learned tonight.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The lamps had been turned low and everyone asleep when Pa awoke, everyone except Hoss and Joe.\u00a0 The whispered conversation was meant to be private, but Ben was glad that he\u2019d overheard, even though the words were enough to leave him shaken from shame and remorse.\u00a0\u00a0 At the first words, Ben knew he should have made himself known, but Joe\u2019s wavering voice had convinced him to keep quiet.\u00a0 The boy was obviously distressed about something, and it seemed best to let him get it out.\u00a0 Minutes later, he wished fervently that there was some way to escape the horrible declaration he found himself privy to.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa doesn\u2019t know any of this, Hoss.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want him to ever know. . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s alright, Joe, you know I won\u2019t tell him unless you want me to.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was a brief pause, as if Joe were gathering his strength, and Ben wished he could turn enough to be able to see his son\u2019s face, but he kept still.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHoss, you know how Pa is; how stubborn he can be when he gets worked up.\u00a0 But even when he\u2019s angry, you still know he cares about you, right?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSure, little brother, we all know that.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, have you ever. . . I mean, when Pa\u2019s been mad, have you ever felt like. . like he didn\u2019t love you?\u00a0 Or even, like you?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The hesitation was brief, but Ben could almost feel the tension emanating from the other cot.\u00a0 When Hoss finally answered, his voice was filled with confusion.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCourse not; what would make you ask something like that?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell . . . it\u2019s just that . . you see, Hoss . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJust tell me, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s hard to talk about.\u00a0 I mean, I know what happened was caused by Pa\u2019s head wound, but it was so strange.\u00a0 One minute he\u2019d be acting normal, knew who I was and what was going on, the next minute he\u2019d yell at me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now that he was finally telling the story, it was as if a door had been opened, and the story poured out.\u00a0 Joe stopped for only a moment to catch his breath before rushing on.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHoss, you wouldn\u2019t believe what it was like.\u00a0 I kept trying to help him, but he wouldn\u2019t listen to me.\u00a0 He\u2019d forget things and sometimes he\u2019d get so angry.\u00a0 There was something . . well, it was so unlike Pa, I can\u2019t explain it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAhhh, come on, Joe.\u00a0 Sounds like he was just having a pretty rough time of it; was probably pretty worried about you, too.\u00a0 And with your shoulder hurtin\u2019 and all . . I bet you were just a mite sensitive.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo . .no, it was more than that.\u00a0 Pa was really acting strange, and there were a couple times he even cursed at me!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHmm . . well, now that you know how bad Pa was hurtin\u2019, you can understand why he reacted like that, right?\u00a0 No reason to keep worrying over it.\u00a0 Doc says he\u2019s gonna be good as new before long, then we\u2019ll all head home and everything will be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was no answer, and after several minutes Ben wondered if Joe had fallen asleep.\u00a0 Lying here listening to his sons talking reminded him of earlier years when the two were young.\u00a0 There were several conversations he\u2019d overheard through the years, but none so disturbing as this one.\u00a0 How could he have acted so callously towards his own son?\u00a0\u00a0It was obvious that whatever he\u2019d said or done had distressed his son, and of all his three boys, Joseph was the one he\u2019d always taken great care with.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For some reason, it had always been Joe who needed that extra reassurance that he was loved and protected.\u00a0 Even now as a young man, Joe sometimes seemed to revert to his younger self, wanting only the closeness or presence of his father in times of trouble.\u00a0 It was impossible for Ben to understand how he could have disregarded his own son, even if he had been suffering himself.\u00a0 Surely a father\u2019s love would transcend any injury he might have received.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As the silence lengthened, he began to relax, glad that there was no more to Joe\u2019s story; what he\u2019d heard was bad enough.\u00a0 But his middle son\u2019s low voice heralded the beginning of another chapter.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHey, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019d you get those bruises on your neck?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBruises?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u00a0 Right there at your throat . . they look . . well, it looks like someone\u2019s hands were . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As the voice slowly faded into silence, Ben\u2019s body stiffened, and for a moment, he didn\u2019t know if he could continue to hide his wakefulness.\u00a0 It seemed as if his ragged breathing alone would give him away.\u00a0 Every muscle in his body was tensed with waiting . . unable to fathom what kind of hell his son must have lived through.\u00a0 What more would Joe reveal tonight?\u00a0 But his son\u2019s whispered answer did nothing to resolve the questions, and it was all Ben could do to keep from leaping up and demanding to know more.\u00a0 As it was, he was forced to lie there quietly as his youngest decisively ended the conversation.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know, Hoss . . I honestly don\u2019t remember much of anything after we found that little boy. . .\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Think I\u2019m going to get some sleep now.\u00a0 Night.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The rustling sound of blankets being straightened was all that filled the room, and Ben had to strain to make out the muted words Hoss answered.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNight, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Several hours had passed since the two brothers had spoken, but still their father moved restlessly on his cot.\u00a0 Watching Joe sleep now, it was hard for Pa to comprehend the implications of what he\u2019d overheard.\u00a0 What or whom had injured his son?\u00a0 And why couldn\u2019t the boy remember anything about the incident?\u00a0 Ben longed to move closer to Joe and inspect the bruises himself, but the knife-like pain in his own head kept him reclining on his pillow.\u00a0 He wondered, idly, if this nightmare of a trip would ever be over.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The room was colored a pale yellow, the early morning sun just beginning to filter through the small windows overhead.\u00a0 Ben peered carefully out of half-opened eyes, almost as if surprised that he had fallen asleep in the first place.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The infirmary was still, although faint sounds of the waking post drifted in from outdoors, but they didn\u2019t seem loud enough to have awakened him.\u00a0 The sound of low moaning from the next bed quickly caught and held his attention.\u00a0 Joe was in the same position as he was when Ben had watched him sleeping earlier, but now his body seemed stiff and tense.\u00a0 It was obvious that the young man was in the midst of a nightmare, and it appeared to be quite frightening from the way he rolled his head from side to side.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Suddenly, Joe jerked awake, his hands flailing frantically above him as if reaching for help.\u00a0 \u2018Or fending off a foe.\u2019<\/em>\u00a0 Ben\u2019s fleeting comparison was quickly forgotten as he struggled to reach his son.\u00a0\u00a0 Unfortunately, the vertigo that continued to plague him would not allow him to hurry to his son\u2019s side.\u00a0 Instead, it was a halting process of small movements that took an extremely long time in Ben\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 By the time he reached his boy\u2019s side, Joe had already laid back against his pillow, his eyes focused on some minute speck on the ceiling above.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Are you alright, son?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben was balanced precariously on the side of Joe\u2019s narrow bed, but the worried father steeled himself against the reeling affect of his head injury.\u00a0 Putting his hand on his son\u2019s arm, he was surprised to feel a slight flinch as if Joe was attempting to shrug off his father\u2019s touch.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou sure, son?\u00a0 That sounded like quite a dream.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sure.\u00a0 You can go back to bed now, I\u2019ll be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Realizing that Joe had never looked directly at him, Ben took an extra moment to study his injured son.\u00a0 The affect of the sun and wind had taken a toll on his boy\u2019s already tanned skin, but the real blow came when Pa studied the marks around his son\u2019s neck.\u00a0 Hoss had not exaggerated when he described it as being made by a man\u2019s hands.\u00a0 But who?\u00a0 Who would\u2019ve done this to Joseph, and why?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hazel eyes watched him closely as Ben drew back in astonishment.\u00a0 Words would not come, and finding that he was unable to speak, Pa groped blindly towards his own bed and dropped unceremoniously onto its rumpled surface.\u00a0 Silence stretched between them as the two men watched the morning sun filter into the room, and it was quite awhile before Ben felt he had his emotions under control enough to question Joe.\u00a0 But his energy was wasted.\u00a0 Unable or unwilling, Pa wasn\u2019t sure which described Joe\u2019s failure to answer his questions.\u00a0 Regardless of the reason, there was no further conversation on the subject, and the older man was left to worry over his son in silence.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Riding into San Diego, Adam paused for a moment to study the view before him.\u00a0 If it weren\u2019t for the circumstances that brought him here, the dark haired man was sure he would have enjoyed spending some time in this lovely city.\u00a0 As it was, there were horses and supplies to purchase, telegraphs to send and arrangements to be made before the family headed for home.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Almost three weeks had passed since Pa and Little Joe had been found, and the doctor had finally declared the injured pair fit for travel.\u00a0 Of course, neither one was in the strongest condition, but it seemed that they\u2019d made a fair recovery, and everyone involved felt that it was time for the men to go home.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe continued to suffer from nightmares and Adam suspected that they were much more disturbing than his brother let on.\u00a0 From his description of the dreams, there was always a ship involved, a fact that seemed completely understandable considering the circumstances.\u00a0 The strange thing was that the dreams seemed to be growing worse, or at least Joe seemed to be more affected by them as time went by.\u00a0 At first the doctor had assured them that the nightmares would subside as Joe began to feel safe again, but that didn\u2019t seem to be the case.\u00a0 And finally, Ben had been the one to insist the family return to the Ponderosa.\u00a0 He felt certain that his son would recover faster in the comfort and safety of his own home.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n However, the eldest Cartwright had been a little slower to recover from his injury.\u00a0 The head wound he\u2019d suffered had been severe, and the doctor continued to remind them that Ben was lucky to even be alive.\u00a0 Adam wasn\u2019t at all sure that his father was ready for the arduous journey home, especially in view of the fact that Pa was suffering from extremely painful headaches.\u00a0\u00a0 He suspected that his father was operating from sheer determination, and the doctor had fairly insinuated the same thing.\u00a0 But in the end, Major Emmons had agreed that Ben would be able to make the trip if they took it easy and stopped often to rest.\u00a0 He\u2019d supplied them with medication to be used if necessary, and with his final approval, the men had begun to plan the journey.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n They had discussed various modes of transportation, but in the end, it was decided that riding horseback would be the best and easiest means.\u00a0 Of course, they could have taken a stage part of the way, or even bought a wagon or buckboard for the trip, but all agreed that bouncing over roads that were not always in the best condition would be more hazardous than riding a good sound horse.\u00a0 And so, Adam had been dispensed to the city to purchase mounts for his father and younger brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was barely three hours later when Adam rode away from the city.\u00a0\u00a0 Grateful that he and Hoss had left home with their own mounts, he nonetheless felt confident that he\u2019d made sound choices in his purchases, and the horses he led back to the post were amongst the finest mounts available.\u00a0 With a sigh of contentment, Adam looked forward to returning to the ranch.\u00a0 Their departure had been abrupt, to say the least, and though they had kept in contact with the foreman, it was time for a Cartwright to be back at the helm.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was that thought, the simple act of using the word \u2018helm\u2019 in comparison to their daily life, which suddenly caused the eldest son to freeze.\u00a0 Pulling Sport to a standstill, Adam paused to examine his thoughts.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With all of the worry and care they\u2019d given to Pa and Little Joe over the past weeks, he and Hoss had never again talked about their experience.\u00a0 With a sudden burst of clarity, Adam realized how very close they\u2019d come to losing their loved ones.\u00a0 That simple reminder left him shaken, and it took some time before he felt able to continue on his way.\u00a0 But as he sat quietly on Sport, his mind reeling with memories, days and weeks of worry and concern seemed to melt away.\u00a0 Instead, Adam focused on the simple realization that Pa and Joe were alive and well, soon to be home on the Ponderosa.\u00a0 When he finally resumed his journey, the sun seemed to shine a little brighter and Adam found himself humming a tune as he rode along, anxious to reach the post and his family.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Nate.\u00a0 We\u2019ll never forget what you\u2019ve done for us.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Major Emmons glanced down at his own hand, encased as it was in two large hands, which held his warmly.\u00a0 Looking back at the white haired man, he was almost overwhelmed at the emotion filled eyes that watched him closely.\u00a0 Then, pulling his military training into place, he answered in a matter-of-fact tone.\u00a0 Only someone close to him would recognize the sentiment in his own voice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re welcome, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n No more was said as the older man moved to his horse and gingerly pulled himself into the saddle.\u00a0 Once settled there, he stared down at the doctor for only a moment before turning to his sons.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOkay, boys, let\u2019s go home.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The answering comments were lost in the movement of horses and pack animals as the group turned from the hitching post and rode away from the old church.\u00a0 But long after they\u2019d disappeared from sight, the major continued to stand on the porch, staring after them.\u00a0 He wondered at the strong family ties that bound them so closely, and worried about the healing that had yet to occur.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was an underlying concern that the doctor had been unable to dispel, something between the youngest son and his father.\u00a0 Adam had finally confirmed his suspicions when he mentioned that Little Joe seemed to have pulled away from his pa. \u00a0It was obvious that Hoss, also, was worried about his family.\u00a0 But no matter how many times the doctor attempted to question the young man, each time he\u2019d been quietly ignored or flatly rebuked.\u00a0 The whole situation had left the major almost unsure of his prognosis.\u00a0 Was there really something bothering young Cartwright, or just the remnants of adversity weighing heavily on the boy\u2019s mind?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There had been no resolution to the men\u2019s questions about the events in Mexico, and everyone concerned had been frustrated upon learning that the young boy had disappeared.\u00a0 He had been their only hope for answers, and there had even been some talk of searching for him until the commander had put a stop to it.\u00a0 Although the child\u2019s relatives remained quiet about his whereabouts, the colonel assumed that the boy had returned to his parents in Mexico.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And then there had been the frustrating situation with the newspaperman.\u00a0 The editor of the Los Angeles Star<\/em>, himself, had appeared at the fort one day, bound and determined he would walk away with the interview of a lifetime.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Colonel Anders had put an end to that, by the Cartwright\u2019s request, of course.\u00a0 In fact, the doctor felt certain that if the colonel hadn\u2019t stepped in when he did, the middle Cartwright son might\u2019ve taken things into his own hands and physically removed Mr. Perkins from the garrison.\u00a0 It was obvious that neither of the men in question was up to, or willing to, share the details of their ordeal. And the two older brothers were willing to go to any lengths to protect them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The uncertainty of their experiences had only led to more confusion for the two lost travelers, but there was nothing more that anyone could do.\u00a0 The colonel had promised to contact the Cartwrights if anything else was learned, but everyone involved knew that there was little hope that they\u2019d ever know the truth about Ben and Joe\u2019s experience south of the border.\u00a0 Perhaps it was better if they never did.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Finally, the major turned away from his brooding, reassuring himself that he\u2019d done all he could do and time would have to do the rest.\u00a0 For now, he simply hoped that the journey home would be uneventful for the family, and that once they reached their destination, the two men would rediscover the closeness that the older brothers were certain had been lost.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe inhaled deeply, happy to be outside at last and back in the open air.\u00a0 The afternoon sun was warm on his shoulders and he settled his hat at an angle to shade his face from its rays.\u00a0 Shifting carefully in the saddle, he fidgeted at the slow pace they kept, wishing he could simply put spurs to his horse and race back to the ranch.\u00a0 But though he railed at the sluggish pace, Joe recognized the prudence of this choice.\u00a0 His father was still weak, and in all honesty, his own shoulder was still giving him some trouble.\u00a0 As the horses moved into single file to traverse a narrow part of the trail, Joe used his vantage point at the rear of the line to study each of the men before him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At the lead, Adam had his hands full with a nervous Sport who continually danced about the trail as if anxious to be off.\u00a0 Joe had a feeling that the horse was merely responding instinctively to its rider and that truth-be-known, Adam was as eager as any of them to get home.\u00a0 However, no one could tell from his calm exterior.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Shaking his head Joe almost laughed at the enigma that was his oldest brother.\u00a0 The man truly fit the nickname \u2018Yankee Granite Head\u2019 that Joe had bestowed on him; stubborn as the day was long, yet an expert on the art of concealing his true feelings.\u00a0 It was rare that anyone, even his own family, was allowed access to his emotions.\u00a0 Joe knew that Adam cared deeply about things; it just wasn\u2019t often that the older man relaxed enough to show \u2018how\u2019 he felt.\u00a0 But being his brother, Joe had learned over the years how to read him.\u00a0 The family had been away from home far too long, and Adam was probably second-guessing his decision to make the slow ride home.\u00a0 No one could accuse Adam of not taking his responsibilities seriously.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Neither of the older brothers knew their younger sibling was awake that first night on the trail, but Joe had laid in his bedroll listening intently to the conversation.\u00a0 Adam was concerned about the ranch, yet worried about the health of his father and brother.\u00a0 There had been much discussion between him and Hoss as to which trail to take; should they go northwest towards San Francisco and then home or take the less inhabited route and travel up the eastern side of the Sierra\u2019s.\u00a0 It was late that night before the two came to an agreement, and early the next morning the family headed northeast towards Lone Pine.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The route they chose was slightly shorter, but at the rate they were traveling, it could still be several weeks before they\u2019d get home and Joe knew that had to be weighing heavily on Adam\u2019s mind.\u00a0\u00a0 However, when Hoss had suggested Adam ride on ahead, the oldest son had been adamant in his refusal.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe had to admit that not only did he love his eldest brother; he also respected him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n While considering the man in the lead, Joe suddenly realized that the next man in line had turned in his saddle and was carefully studying the two men riding behind him.\u00a0 With a quick smile, Joe reassured Hoss that everything was fine and his brother turned back to watch the trail.\u00a0 The large man had kept a constant vigil over his father and younger brother, and Joe knew intuitively how difficult this whole experience had been for him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Always the one to care for a stray, Hoss couldn\u2019t stand for anything to be hurt, least of all someone he loved.\u00a0 But the uncertainty of those first days after the shipwreck was something he hadn\u2019t come to grips with.\u00a0 It was obvious in his solicitous care of Pa, almost as if he were afraid that something might happen yet to take his father away.\u00a0 Joe knew how much Hoss relied on his father, maybe even more so than Joe himself.\u00a0 The constancy of his family and the Ponderosa was what kept his world in order, and Hoss would be lost if anything were to disrupt that.\u00a0\u00a0 So Joe let his brother fuss over him, wisely aware that as time passed, things would return to normal.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The horses moved on at a steady pace as Little Joe thought about his family.\u00a0 And then his eyes settled on his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pa rode easily on the Morgan gelding Adam had purchased for him, and Joe found it hard to believe that this was the same man he\u2019d struggled with on the rocky hillside several weeks ago.\u00a0 The scene before him now was the same one he\u2019d witnessed many times before; a strong man riding straight and proud, with his sons at his side.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Although Ben was still experiencing headaches, he insisted they push steadily for home, and only Hoss and Adam\u2019s foresight kept the older man from overdoing it.\u00a0 Each afternoon, before the sun slid behind the horizon, the family would already be ensconced in a hotel or settled near a stream to camp.\u00a0 By unspoken agreement, the eldest sons were careful to state their plans as fact, giving their father no room to challenge or disagree with their arrangement.\u00a0 Joe saw it all and smiled to himself at the conniving ways of his brothers.\u00a0 He knew that his pa was also aware of the subterfuge, but with good grace, their father had yet to confront them on the issue.\u00a0 Instead, he seemed to resign himself to accept the slow trip, and after awhile, even enjoy it.\u00a0 Joe wondered if, in reality, the leisurely pace was all Pa could really handle.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n However, as he stared at his father\u2019s back, Joe couldn\u2019t help the slight frown that appeared on his face.\u00a0 There was something . . he couldn\u2019t quite put his finger on it, but something that didn\u2019t seem right.\u00a0 He felt good, having his father so near, safe and once more healthy.\u00a0 Yet little scenes kept appearing before him, visions of another man, one who was cold and angry.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s frown grew as he struggled to understand what the images meant.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His memories of the past weeks were only bits and pieces of recollections; nothing that Joe could really say was clear in his mind.\u00a0\u00a0 He\u2019d tried to tell Hoss about what happened, had remembered some of the first days after the ship went down.\u00a0 Joe could almost see the sand on the beach, his father lying unconscious beside him, but even that seemed a hazy picture, coming in and out of focus as he tried to recall the exact sequence of events.\u00a0 From there the pictures were even more obscure.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He knew they\u2019d walked a long way, knew there had been little food or water and there was only a dim recollection of a small boy.\u00a0 Occasionally he\u2019d summon up segments of conversations that he and Pa had shared, but mostly it remained just bits and pieces of a larger picture, one that he couldn\u2019t quite put together.\u00a0 Joe wondered, idly, if he\u2019d ever remember everything that had happened.\u00a0\u00a0 Part of him didn\u2019t care; content to leave the past in the past.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n But there was more . . . an undercurrent of confusion that seemed to be growing within him.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t know what was causing the feeling, but he did know that it was getting stronger.\u00a0 Unaware that his frown had turned into something of a scowl, Little Joe rode along as he attempted to understand what was bothering him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was hard to admit, but he knew it had something to do with Pa, and that simply didn\u2019t make sense.\u00a0 The two had always shared a very close relationship.\u00a0 Whether from his position as youngest son, or simply as a result of Ben\u2019s love for Marie, Joe had always enjoyed his father\u2019s attention and welcomed it.\u00a0 But in the past few days, truthfully ever since he\u2019d awoke in the infirmary, Joe had felt almost uncomfortable in his father\u2019s presence.\u00a0 He could think of nothing that would have caused a break in their relationship.\u00a0 Of course he knew that their ordeal had been strenuous, but they\u2019d been together, and Joe knew that was the most important thing to both of them.\u00a0\u00a0 What could\u2019ve happened to change that?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Regardless of what might have occurred, Joe couldn\u2019t bear the feeling that was growing inside him.\u00a0\u00a0 Every time his father came too close, Joe felt the desire to escape, and that alone was enough to frighten the boy.\u00a0 Where once he longed for his father\u2019s touch, now he found himself striving to prevent it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Finding himself the only one still moving, Joe pulled back on the reins and his mount stopped immediately.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, what?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss laughed as he repeated his question.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI asked if you were going to stop here and camp with us or go on by yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Unable to stop his own grin, Joe moved slowly out of the saddle, being careful not to irritate his still throbbing shoulder.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNah, big brother, I guess I\u2019ll camp here with you.\u00a0 Though I\u2019m sure I\u2019d get more rest if I found a place to sleep a mile or so down the road.\u00a0 You do know that you snore, don\u2019t ya?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The answering guffaw was almost joined by a slap to his younger brother\u2019s back, but at the last minute, Hoss carefully dropped his arm around Joe\u2019s shoulder instead.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNah, little brother, you don\u2019t say?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben and Adam joined in the laughter as the four men quickly set up camp, and the family seemed relaxed and at ease as the evening progressed.\u00a0 If anyone noticed the distance that Joe kept between himself and Pa, they didn\u2019t mention it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n But the nagging feeling growing within him couldn\u2019t be denied, and Joe found himself staring into the star filled sky hours later.\u00a0\u00a0 Even on his side, Hoss split the night air with his snoring, but that wasn\u2019t what kept the boy awake.\u00a0 He longed to talk with his father, but in reality, he didn\u2019t even know what he\u2019d say.\u00a0 The only thing he really knew with any certainty was that he didn\u2019t feel safe anymore.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWake up, boy.\u00a0 Joe, wake up!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The faint light of the dying campfire barely illuminated Joe\u2019s face, but Adam could see the hazel eyes had opened slightly.\u00a0 Slowly releasing his grasp on Joe\u2019s arms, Adam carefully eased his brother back against the saddle.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u201d\u00a0 You okay?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 Thanks, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The voice that answered was trembling, just as the boy\u2019s hands were as he straightened his blanket.\u00a0\u00a0 Peering through the dim light, Adam could see that his brother\u2019s face glistened and his curly hair was damp with sweat, yet it was obvious that Joe didn\u2019t want to talk about his dream.\u00a0 From the way the boy had already curled up under his blanket, it almost seemed as if he were trying to cut himself off from the world.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou sure you\u2019re okay?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cUh, huh.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rolling back into his own bedroll, Adam continued to stare at his brother\u2019s back, only now aware of the new position of Joe\u2019s bedding.\u00a0 When camp had been arranged hours earlier, Joe\u2019s saddle and blankets had been placed evenly between Ben and Adam\u2019s.\u00a0 Sometime during the night, on purpose or by accident, Joe\u2019s bedding had ended up closer to his oldest brother.\u00a0 Not that he minded, in fact Adam felt flattered that the boy felt comfortable in his presence.\u00a0 But in all Joe\u2019s years, he\u2019d never moved away from his father\u2019s side.\u00a0 If Ben were in camp, you could be sure that Little Joe was bedded down nearby.\u00a0 Only when the boys were camping without their father did Joe end up next to one of his brothers.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was a simple thing, an unimportant fact, but one that Adam couldn\u2019t help but add to the growing collection of Joe\u2019s strange actions.\u00a0\u00a0 He fell asleep worrying about his brother, unaware that only inches away, the boy was still awake and more than a little worried himself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The few small towns along the way gave the weary travelers only scant comfort as they worked their way northward.\u00a0\u00a0 During the first week of their journey there had been hotels or boarding houses to offer a hot meal and warm bed, but as the days passed, the men found themselves making camp more often than not.\u00a0 When they did find a town big enough to boast a general store, they would sometimes add a few supplies to their packs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe, especially, still looked somewhat gaunt after his ordeal.\u00a0 The days without food, along with the infection and fever he\u2019d suffered through, had left him thinner than usual; but his family was rather surprised at the lingering affects.\u00a0 After steady meals at the army post and the extra food they had available for him while on the trail, he should have been showing signs of renewed strength and vigor.\u00a0 Instead, the boy looked haggard in appearance; his previously lean frame could now be best described as skinny.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And then there was his attitude.\u00a0 Normally cheerful and easy to get along with, even with his mercurial displays of temper, the boy was now almost listless.\u00a0 He seemed to jump at every sound and though he acted as if he enjoyed being with his family, Joe\u2019s eyes seemed to be continuously watchful; shifting nervously, as if afraid that something was out to get him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After almost three weeks, the four riders where relieved to see familiar landmarks as they grew closer to home.\u00a0 By mutual consent, they had cut up towards the lake rather than ride into Carson, each man more than a little homesick.\u00a0 The tall pines were a welcome sight and the Cartwrights breathed a sigh of relief as they welcomed the end of their journey.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa, I see it, I see it!!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s heart lurched at the excited tone in his youngest son\u2019s voice. It was a sound he didn\u2019t realize he\u2019d missed, but as the boy shouted with enthusiasm, it seemed the weight of the world was lifted from the father\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 Maybe everything would be alright once they were home. Kicking his horse into a gallop, Ben quickly caught up to his sons.\u00a0 The four of them sat quietly, even their mounts content to stand in silence.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The view before them was one that always inspired a feeling of awe to those who were witness to its magnificence.\u00a0\u00a0 The shimmering mass of dark water was a vivid contrast to the blue of the sky above.\u00a0 An occasional white puff of cloud would move across the heavenly expanse, giving an added distinction to the scene, its own fluffy beauty reflected in the deep blue waters below.\u00a0 Along the shoreline were miles and miles of green trees, their tips seeming to reach out from the dark blue below to touch the light blue above; an occasional outcropping of gray rock only added to the diorama.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was some time before anyone dared break the silence.\u00a0 They all seemed happy to simply drink in the sight before them, grateful that they\u2019d been allowed to view this scene again.\u00a0 But the sun had passed its zenith and there were still some miles to travel; none of them wanted to spend another night on the trail when their own warm beds were waiting nearby.\u00a0 As if an unspoken command had been given, the four men turned their mounts and headed towards home.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hop Sing moved sullenly about his kitchen, preparing yet another quiet meal for himself.\u00a0 It had been many days since he\u2019d received any word from his family, for that\u2019s what he considered them, his family.\u00a0 Yet he knew that they would be back soon.\u00a0 At first he had worked happily, excited to know that the two lost travelers were soon to be home, but as the days dragged by, his happiness turned to exasperation.\u00a0 Waiting was always hard.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As he filled a bowl with rice and settled at the small wooden table next to the stove, the Chinaman was startled to hear a ringing shout followed by several whoops and calls.\u00a0 The series of sounds were not unheard of; in fact, he realized instantly that the noise was exactly what he\u2019d been waiting for. Jumping from his seat, HopSing was at the door in an instant, a wide smile adorning his own small face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Although the pounding hoof beats still echoed in the yard, the horses were no longer ridden, but stood standing quietly, their sides heaving from the final run.\u00a0 Their owners were already dismounted and in the act of pulling bedrolls and saddlebags from their mounts when the cook hurried to greet them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cVely good you home, Mr. Cartwright.\u00a0 HopSing glad you okay.\u00a0 Little Joe okay too?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, he\u2019s fine.\u00a0 And you\u2019re right; it\u2019s good to be home.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHopSing!\u00a0 There you are.\u00a0 What\u2019s for dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The look of consternation on the Chinaman\u2019s face would have stopped any other man in his tracks, but Hoss Cartwright was used to the cook\u2019s stern countenance; he simply overlooked it.\u00a0 Instead, he slapped the smaller man on the back and hurried into the house to deposit his things before returning to care for the horses.\u00a0 It took several minutes before Joe stepped forward, but when he did, HopSing sucked in his breath, a look of surprise quickly concealed by a welcoming smile.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThere is younger son.\u00a0 Good you home, Little Joe.\u00a0 What you want for dinner?\u00a0 HopSing make you best meal, make you vely glad you back at home.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean, asking him what he wants for dinner?\u00a0 I\u2019m the one who\u2019s really hungry here.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAh, come on Hoss, you\u2019re always hungry.\u00a0 Let\u2019s get these horses taken care of, and then you can start in on HopSing\u2019s cooking.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe smiled at the friendly banter between his brothers, unaware that he was being watched. The young man looked almost relaxed as his gaze moved slowly about the yard.\u00a0 It was as if he were taking in the sight for the first time.\u00a0 After several minutes, Ben cleared his throat and beckoned to his youngest son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go inside, Joe.\u00a0 We\u2019re finally home.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n HopSing observed quietly as Joe hesitated for a moment; then the boy reached down and picked up his bedroll before following his father inside the house.\u00a0\u00a0 As he returned to his kitchen, the Chinaman spoke rapidly in his native tongue.\u00a0 Had anyone within range been able understand the language, they would\u2019ve known the man was more than a little concerned for his family.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben heard the rider coming in fast and he stood quickly to stare out of the narrow window behind his desk.\u00a0 By the time he\u2019d pulled back the thin curtain, Joe had already dismounted and was entering the side door into the kitchen.\u00a0 Immediately, Ben could hear the diminutive cook ranting in Chinese, his words indistinguishable, his frustration obvious.\u00a0 Settling back into his chair, Ben returned to his bookwork, struggling to keep his focus on the pages before him instead of centering on the light-hearted laugh of his youngest son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was several minutes later that the older man realized he was not alone.\u00a0 Looking up, he was startled to meet the green-eyed gaze of his son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Anything wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, just came in to give you a message from Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben watched in annoyed fascination as Joe fumbled with the hat held tightly in his hands.\u00a0 Normally, the boy would\u2019ve rushed in excitedly, and in his youthful exuberance, found the only place to rest himself would be on the corner of his father\u2019s desk.\u00a0 But today, Joe stood at that same corner, almost as if he were unsure of himself, causing Ben to cringe inwardly at the change in his son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Life at the Ponderosa had settled back into routine after their return.\u00a0 Busy with his figures and ledgers, Ben was overwhelmed at the amount of work that had piled up in his absence.\u00a0 Each day the headaches grew less intense, until finally they caused only an occasional discomfort.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe had not been as lucky.\u00a0 No sooner had they reached the ranch, than the infection in his shoulder flared up again and Doc Martin had been out to the ranch several times to check on his patient\u2019s progress.\u00a0 Although the wound seemed to be healing well, Ben had noticed that the boy still favored it and some evenings would find him carefully seated on the couch in such a way that the rest of the family knew he was in pain.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n But the change that upset the family most was the one in Joe\u2019s behavior.\u00a0 The normally cheerful young man seemed almost sullen at times.\u00a0 Although he seemed happy enough while busy with his chores and duties about the ranch, his whole attitude seemed to change the instant he walked into the house.\u00a0 And the dreams . . . what had started out as an occasional mumbling in his sleep on the trail had turned into full-fledged nightmares after they got home.\u00a0 Joe couldn\u2019t, or wouldn\u2019t, talk about them, often becoming angry if anyone questioned him about what he remembered.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben had struggled with the boy\u2019s change, and had even talked with Paul Martin, stating that \u2018if he didn\u2019t know better, he\u2019d think the boy was trying to avoid him.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0 Of course, the doctor had argued with Ben\u2019s theory, but the fact remained in Ben\u2019s mind:\u00a0 Joe was avoiding his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u00a0 Oh, sorry, Joe.\u00a0 I was just thinking.\u00a0 What did you say again?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI said that Adam wanted me to tell you that there was a lot more fence to mend than he expected.\u00a0 HopSing is fixing us a lunch, and we won\u2019t be back until late.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOkay, son, that\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben had risen from his chair, but as he approached Joe, the boy took an involuntary step backwards.\u00a0 Frozen in shocked surprise, Pa could only watch as Joe blurted out some excuse about his brother\u2019s waiting before hurrying out the door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The familiar feel of the ship\u2019s deck rolling beneath Joe\u2019s feet caused a tremor of fear to ripple through the boy.\u00a0 Wide boards slick with foam from the waves made his progress treacherous.\u00a0 Still Joe moved towards the bow of the ship, looking frantically for his father.\u00a0 The sound of the sails snapping in the wind was accompanied by the creaking of the masts; the sounds almost lost in the howl of the fierce winds.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n A violent shaking from deep within the ship threw Joe to the deck, and clawing frantically, he fought to stop his rapid slide towards the edge.\u00a0 Just as he grasped and held the bottom rail, his legs slipped over the side, leaving half of his body dangling off the ship.\u00a0 The terror in his voice was unmistakable, even to his own ears, as Joe called out to the one man he knew would help him.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cPa!\u00a0 Pa, help me!\u00a0 I need you, Pa.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Moving slowly from the shadows, a silver haired man appeared at the railing, and reaching down, grabbed hold of Joe\u2019s wrists.\u00a0 The grip of his hands alluded to a sense of strength, and relief flooded through the young man as he let go of the railing and grasped his father\u2019s forearms instead.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s relief was evident as he called out to his father again.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cPull me up, Pa.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Staring into the dark eyes above him, Joe was unexpectedly shaken at the strange sight.\u00a0 No longer the warm and reassuring gaze of a loving parent, instead he met the cold and heartless stare of a stranger.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The pleading in his voice was unmistakable, but there was no answer, and the boy felt a moment of hopelessness, and then the man released<\/em> his grasp. As Joe plunged into the darkness below, he could still see the callous stare of the man above him.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Heart pounding, Joe sat up in bed and looked around him.\u00a0 It took several minutes before he truly convinced himself that he was safe in his own room.\u00a0 Once more this dream had shaken him, the vivid details exactly the same each time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With a moan of frustration, Joe eased himself back against his pillows and stared at the ceiling above.\u00a0\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t erase the picture of his father\u2019s uncaring gaze; it was almost as if he\u2019d seen the sight before.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCourse you\u2019ve seen it before . . you\u2019ve only had this dream every night for weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe almost grinned as he realized he was now talking to himself, and out loud to boot.\u00a0 But the grin disappeared into a grimace as he struggled to keep his emotions under control.\u00a0\u00a0 He longed to go to his father, but something continued to hold him back.\u00a0\u00a0 Even though he was sure that it was the contents of the dream itself, still Joe couldn\u2019t make himself talk to his father.\u00a0 Even the simplest of conversations had been difficult for the two lately, and Joe felt he had really tried.\u00a0 There was simply no explanation for what he was feeling.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And so he forced himself to take slow, even breaths in an effort to calm down.\u00a0 Lying in his darkened room, afraid to ask for the help he so desperately needed, Joe Cartwright fought his demons alone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, what d\u2019ya think, Adam?\u00a0 He\u2019s not getting any better, is he?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, no he isn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with Joe, anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know for sure. I\u2019ve tried to talk to Pa, but . . well . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2019s afraid.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAfraid?\u00a0 Our Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Adam, afraid.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t know what\u2019s wrong with Joe, and he doesn\u2019t know how to help him.\u00a0 You know, if it was a cut to be stitched or a broken bone to be set, he\u2019d know what to do, but this . . this is something real different.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re right.\u00a0 But just sitting here watching the kid get worse isn\u2019t right either.\u00a0 I know Pa\u2019s already talked to Doc Martin, but I\u2019m going into town tomorrow, and I\u2019m going to stop and talk to him again.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCouldn\u2019t hurt anything.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, but I wish we could say it would help.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how much longer Pa can take this.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stood on the porch for several minutes, a piece of paper folded carefully in his hand.\u00a0 He recalled how happy he\u2019d been to see the letter from Colonel Anders, hopeful that it would contain the answers to their questions.\u00a0 After reading it, Adam had those answers he sought, but how could he share the news with his family?\u00a0 He now knew how and when Joe\u2019s neck had been bruised; worse, he knew who had caused it.\u00a0 Adam understood, at last, why Joe was acting the way he was, even if the boy didn\u2019t know himself.\u00a0 What Adam didn\u2019t know, was how he could use the information to help his family.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pacing slowly around the porch, the worried man searched his mind for any plan that might help convey this information.\u00a0 But no matter how he imagined it, the only thing that happened was disastrous.\u00a0 If Joe really didn\u2019t remember what had happened, this would only serve to reopen an old wound.\u00a0 And since it was obvious that Pa didn\u2019t have any knowledge of the incident, telling him now would only devastate him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As Adam stopped in front of the door, he made his decision.\u00a0 For now at least, the secret would be his alone.\u00a0 Carefully folding the paper once more, he tucked it carefully in the front pocket of his black pants.\u00a0 Later, when he was alone in his room, he\u2019d hide the letter away and pray that he\u2019d never have to show it to anyone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss pulled open the barn door, surprised to find his brother already up and tending to the chores.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHey, Joe, what\u2019s got into you?\u00a0 Not often we find you already working at this hour.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n No answer came forth from the stall where Little Joe curried his horse, but Hoss could already sense his brother\u2019s mood.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t the first time he\u2019d met up with an angry Joe, and he was sure it wouldn\u2019t be the last.\u00a0 But what he couldn\u2019t stand was the way the whole family seemed to be breaking apart.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pa was spending more and more time at his desk or on vague business trips to Virginia City.\u00a0 Adam, though working alongside his brothers, seemed to be forever lost in thought.\u00a0 More than once Hoss had found himself hollering his older brother\u2019s name a second or third time before being answered.\u00a0 And Joe . . . his youngest brother seemed either angry or, strange as it might seem, scared.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Unable to make sense of the situation, Hoss found himself wanting to escape the feeling of anxiety within his home.\u00a0 And so, each day found him making more excuses to stay out on the range longer, or find jobs farther from the others.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t find a way to help his family, but neither could he watch as they fell apart.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n While Joe worked quietly with Cochise, Hoss silently saddled Chubb.\u00a0 Then, without a word, the large man mounted his horse and rode away.\u00a0 For the first time in years, he didn\u2019t look back or holler out a warm goodbye.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The moaning intensified as Ben hurried down the hall towards Joe\u2019s bedroom.\u00a0 Lamp in hand, he pushed open his son\u2019s door, instantly aware that this nightmare was worse than the others.\u00a0 Joe was thrashing about, his hands flailing above him as if trying to hold on to or ward off some enemy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Setting the lamp on a dresser, Ben moved closer to the bed, talking to his son in a low, comforting voice.\u00a0 He was surprised to see the movement on the bed intensify, as if Joe heard him coming.\u00a0 Sure that the boy felt he was in some kind of danger, Ben grabbed hold of Joe\u2019s shoulders, shaking him gently in an effort to awaken him, his own voice raising in barely concealed panic.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe, Joe!\u00a0 Wake up, son!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His final words seemed to have the desired affect as hazel green eyes opened slightly.\u00a0 With a scream of terror, Joe pushed away from his father, forcing back the hands that held him.\u00a0 Pressing himself into the headboard for a moment, Joe\u2019s arms and legs were a blur of movement as he struggled to escape, and then, caught up in the blankets, Joe fell as he attempted to get out of bed.\u00a0 Ben could see blood on his son\u2019s face as Joe pushed himself off the floor, but still the boy moved away, never answering his father\u2019s calls.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was an unbelievable sight that met Adam and Hoss minutes later.\u00a0 Ben was almost kneeling on the bed, as if trying to get across it, but frozen in place.\u00a0 In the dark shadows of the corner, Joe was squatting on the floor, one hand held before him, the other clasped around his neck, as if in protection.\u00a0 His ragged breathing belied his frantic state, and an occasional moan of pain was heard; no one knew if it was a pain born of physical or mental duress.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam moved slowly to his father\u2019s side, his own voice calm and reassuring.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCome on, Pa, let\u2019s go downstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut, Joe . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019ll be alright.\u00a0 Hoss will take care of him.\u00a0 Come on, Pa.\u00a0 I need to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s face was a study in confusion as he allowed his eldest to lead him from the room.\u00a0 What could possibly have driven Joe to fear his own father?\u00a0 What kind of dream could have elicited that kind of response?\u00a0 Moving slowly down the stairs, Ben suddenly found that his knees were weak and shaky.\u00a0 He was glad for his son\u2019s assistance as the younger man clasped his arm and helped him towards his chair.\u00a0 Seconds later, a glass of brandy was in his hand, and Adam was seated on the hearth before him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa, there\u2019s something I need to talk to you about.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The flickering flames licking around the pine logs held Ben\u2019s attention and he didn\u2019t respond immediately to his son.\u00a0 The brandy had warmed him, yet the empty glass felt heavy in his hand.\u00a0 His mind continued to dwell on the memory of Joe\u2019s eyes as he stared at his father in fear, and a shudder ran through Ben as he felt the shock of that remembrance.\u00a0 It was several minutes before he realized that Adam had laid a hand on his arm as if waiting for something.\u00a0 Focusing on his eldest son, Pa was surprised to see that the young man held a letter in his hand and was looking at him expectantly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u00a0 Did you say something, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, Pa, I need to tell you something, and it\u2019s not going to be easy for you to hear.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat is it, son?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam hesitated briefly as he looked down at the paper in his hand, his expression one of dread.\u00a0 Finally, he looked up and met his father\u2019s gaze.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThis letter is from Colonel Anders.\u00a0 The Mexican and his son were at the post awhile back, and the colonel was finally able to get some information about what happened to you while you were in Mexico.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben continued to watch his son, waiting patiently as Adam struggled to continue.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa . . the man said . .\u00a0 he told the colonel that . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u00a0 What is it?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Gazing up into his Ben\u2019s eyes, Adam said a quick prayer that he wouldn\u2019t destroy his father with the information he had to relay.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe woman told her husband everything, from the time her son found you and Joe until the Mexican authorities took you away.\u00a0 Seems like you were only there a few days, but during that time you were pretty out of it from your head wound.\u00a0 She tended you as best she could, but most of what she provided was food and rest.\u00a0 She said that . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stood up, his uncertainty obvious.\u00a0 Reaching for his father\u2019s glass, he walked slowly to the table and picked up the decanter.\u00a0 As he poured the amber liquid into the glass, he struggled to find the right words for what he knew he had to say.\u00a0 But there were no right words, and the delay was only postponing the inevitable.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The silence in the large room was unbearable, yet Ben held his tongue, struggling to control his impatience.\u00a0 He watched as Adam moved deliberately back across the room to his side, then accepted the brandy with a nod.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa . . I don\u2019t know how to say this . . it\u2019s hard to . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSon, just tell me.\u00a0 What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe marks . . the marks on Joe\u2019s neck . . it was a man\u2019s hands that caused those marks.\u00a0 Someone choked him, almost to death.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWho?\u00a0 Who would do such a thing?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s voice was full of rage as he leapt to his feet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWho did this to Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The wretched gaze that met his gave Ben the answer that no father could bear.\u00a0 Yet the look in Adam\u2019s eyes was not enough.\u00a0 Though Ben\u2019s voice softened, almost to the point of weakness, still he begged for an answer.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWho, Adam?\u00a0 Tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt was you, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dropping his head into his hands, Adam\u2019s shoulders slumped in defeat.\u00a0 The news he\u2019d strove to keep from his family must now come out, and he feared its effect.\u00a0 But after the scene he\u2019d witnessed in Joe\u2019s room only minutes before, Adam knew there was no other course of action.\u00a0 If they were to help Little Joe, the truth had to be told.\u00a0 In fact, he wondered now if he\u2019d been wrong to hide it in the first place.\u00a0 Maybe if he\u2019d come to his father when the letter first arrived . . .\u00a0 but there was no going back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Looking up, he watched his father carefully, yet Ben still stood in the same place, as if rooted to the spot.\u00a0 His eyes were focused on the fire still burning brightly before them, however Adam knew his mind was elsewhere.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben turned slowly to face his oldest son, but he couldn\u2019t find his voice.\u00a0 Instead he simply stared at Adam, an unmistakable look of horror upon the older man\u2019s face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt wasn\u2019t your fault, Pa.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t know what you were doing.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut I did it, didn\u2019t I?\u00a0 There\u2019s no mistake about this, is there, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, Pa, there\u2019s no mistake.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With a sigh of pain that pierced his son\u2019s heart, Ben slumped into his chair, his hands clasped tightly before him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou can\u2019t do this, Pa.\u00a0 You can\u2019t blame yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThen who should I blame?\u00a0 Joe?\u00a0 Did he make me do this?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, of course not.\u00a0 But you didn\u2019t do this either, at least not you as you are now.\u00a0 The senora even said you were acting very strange.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat may be true, Adam, but to your brother, it was his Pa who hurt him.\u00a0 And now we know what\u2019s been eating at him all this time, the nightmares, the sullen disposition.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Silenced stretched between the two men, neither knowing what they could or should say.\u00a0 There was no easy answer to the situation.\u00a0 Finally, Ben stood up and approached his oldest son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cFor what?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cFor telling me.\u00a0 I know how hard this was for you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Staring at his father in surprise, Adam struggled to understand the strange calm that seemed to overcome the man.\u00a0 Yet as he stared into the dark eyes, he knew it was an illusion; a false sense of assurance the man was trying to provide for him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat about Little Joe?\u00a0 Are we going to tell him?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, I\u2019ll have to.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how, but I\u2019ll have to.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll tell him, Pa.\u00a0 We\u2019re a family, and we\u2019ll handle this together, like a family.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben squeezed his son\u2019s arm gently.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAlright, we\u2019ll tell him together, but not tonight, I need some time to think.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you go on up to bed now.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Words of dispute flashed to mind, but Adam held his tongue.\u00a0 It was obvious that his pa wanted to be alone, and he respected that right.\u00a0 And so, instead of arguing, he simply clasped his father\u2019s arm for a moment and then whispered goodnight.\u00a0 As Adam left his father\u2019s side and moved towards the stairs, neither man heard the quiet click of the bedroom door upstairs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The early morning sun scarcely lit the way as Ben moved slowly down the hallway, pausing briefly in front of Joe\u2019s bedroom door.\u00a0 His hand almost on the latch, Pa froze for an instant before letting it drop back to his side.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t ready to face his youngest son yet; didn\u2019t have the words to explain away the horrible things he\u2019d done.\u00a0 In truth, he hadn\u2019t been able to face the horrendous reality himself; how could he explain it to his son?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With shoulders slumped, Pa continued down the hall to the stairway from where he could look out over the large room.\u00a0 He found little comfort in the familiar space; instead his home seemed cold and unpleasant.\u00a0 Everything seemed tainted, and as he finally made his way to his seat at the table, Ben realized that his whole world seemed to be stained with a feeling of anguish.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMorning, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A tight nod was the father\u2019s only answer to his eldest son.\u00a0 Adam was already seated at the table, a heaping plate of food before him, and as Ben took his place, HopSing appeared at his elbow and quickly poured a cup of hot coffee.\u00a0 Still, the eldest Cartwright did not answer the Chinaman\u2019s query; in truth, he didn\u2019t have any idea what the man had asked him.\u00a0 A single \u2018humph\u2019 echoed back from the kitchen doorway, but even that didn\u2019t register in Ben\u2019s mind.\u00a0 His focus was on the youth upstairs; his whole being centered on the hurt he had inflicted on his son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs heralded the approach of his middle son but it was the tone of voice that Hoss used that caught Ben\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa, Adam.\u00a0 Come quick!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Two faces turned towards him questioningly, but Hoss had already disappeared back into the upstairs hallway.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben was on his feet, but not fast enough to beat Adam to the stairs.\u00a0 The son hesitated for only a second, seemingly caught in the learned respect to let his father go first, but pushing that aside for his desire to reach his brother\u2019s room and possibly protect his parent from a hurt they all feared.\u00a0 By the time Ben reached the doorway, Adam was already moving about Joe\u2019s room, examining the open drawers and piles of clothing, while Hoss stood silently by the window.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The crestfallen look on Pa\u2019s face was obvious, his distress clearly distinguishable.\u00a0 But it was the look on Hoss\u2019 face that suddenly caught Adam\u2019s attention.\u00a0 The big man moved one arm slowly forward, a single sheet of white paper held stiffly in his hand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t understand. Why\u2019d he leave?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stepped forward as if in slow motion, his own hand shaking slightly as he took the note from his middle son.\u00a0 Reading the scribbled lines aloud took only a moment, but their impact would be long lasting.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The silence in the room seemed like a wall between the men, separating them just as effectively as any argument ever could.\u00a0 It was several minutes before Adam could find his voice, but when he did, the conviction it held was forced.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa, we\u2019ll find him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Frozen in place, Ben could only stare as he took in the scene around him.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s room was never considered orderly, and it had often been a source of contention between father and son, but now the room was in total chaos.\u00a0 Various articles of clothing were draped on chairs or at the end of Joe\u2019s bed, the bedding pulled back as if his youngest son had simply leapt from the bed to begin packing.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s saddlebags and bedroll were missing from their customary place; that along with the absent items made it clear that the boy had left for more than a short trip.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Unaware that he was fingering one of Joe\u2019s good shirts, it was with a start that Pa realized Adam had spoken to him, and was waiting for some kind of response.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben Cartwright was a strong man, and in that single moment, it seemed as if he pulled from all the strength and fortitude that he could muster as he stood just a bit straighter. He knew what had to be done.\u00a0 Somehow, he had to find his son and make him understand; he had to convince Joe that his Pa loved him.\u00a0 Yet he was caught between knowing what must be done and the fear that he might not be successful.\u00a0 This was so different than any problem they\u2019d ever faced; for never before had there been any question of the father\u2019s love for his son, or the son\u2019s safety with his father.\u00a0 That simple trust had always been there within the family, but especially between Pa and Little Joe.\u00a0 But now . . .\u00a0 What could he possibly say to his son that would prove how sorry he was?\u00a0\u00a0 Turning slowly to face Adam and Hoss, Ben\u2019s face was drawn and pale as he finally forced himself to answer.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, we\u2019ll find him, but will he want to come home?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The sadness in his voice was unmistakable, a fact that was not lost on either son.\u00a0 Still, the father forced himself to move towards the doorway, already concentrating on how to bring his boy home.\u00a0\u00a0 Stepping forward, Adam placed his hand on Ben\u2019s shoulder, squeezing it gently.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLet me go, Pa.\u00a0 I promise I\u2019ll bring him home.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, Adam, it\u2019s my place.\u00a0 I have to apologize; try to make him understand.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd you will, Pa, but let me bring him home first.\u00a0 You need to talk with him here, in the home he loves and feels safe in; not out on the trail somewhere.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut he doesn\u2019t feel safe here anymore, that\u2019s the problem.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe loves you, Pa.\u00a0 He will feel safe here again; it\u2019s just going to take a little time to get it all worked out.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Silent tension filled the room as Ben struggled inwardly to make his decision.\u00a0 He knew Adam was right, yet the parent in him longed to race out and find his missing child.\u00a0 But Adam\u2019s quiet urging interrupted his thoughts.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTrust me, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019ll bring him back to you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben couldn\u2019t respond; could find no words to thank Adam for his offer.\u00a0 He simply nodded silently as he agreed to let his oldest son take over the task.\u00a0 Adam had been like a second father to Joe in those first years after Marie died, and although the two had something of a mercurial relationship, there was still a bond there that Joseph, especially, depended on.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pausing for only a moment, Adam dropped his hand and walked quickly out the door, unaware that Hoss had turned to follow him.\u00a0 Moments later, Ben was alone in Little Joe\u2019s room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As he sank slowly into a chair, Ben dropped his head in his hands as he imagined his boy gone from his life forever.\u00a0 He had a sudden image of life without his youngest son, and Ben feared that they\u2019d never know for sure what all they\u2019d lost at sea.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam was already tightening the cinch on his saddle when Hoss stepped up behind him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSo, when are you going to tell me what\u2019s going on around here?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The big man\u2019s voice carried no anger, yet there was a determination there that Adam recognized immediately.\u00a0 Wordlessly, he drew the Colonel\u2019s letter from his pocket and handed it to Hoss, then turned his attention back to Sport.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t have to watch his brother\u2019s face to know what the man was thinking; even hearing the loud sigh was unnecessary. Adam remembered how the letter shocked and saddened him when it first came, and knowing how close Hoss and Joe were. . well, the letter could only affect his brother the same way.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHow long have you known about this?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cA couple days.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJust told him last night.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSo this is what Joe\u2019s been living with . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With his preparations complete, Adam picked up the reins and turned to face Hoss.\u00a0 He was prepared to see the saddened face, but he was totally unprepared to see the glistening eyes and telltale tracks along his brother\u2019s cheeks.\u00a0 Stepping forward, he gripped the large man\u2019s arm tightly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll bring him home, Hoss.\u00a0 You take care of Pa, and I\u2019ll bring Joe home.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With a nod, Hoss moved back as Adam stepped into the saddle and rode quickly out of the yard.\u00a0 The big man watched as the black shirt disappeared from sight, and only then did he finally answer.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m holding you to it, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The sunlight glistened on the blue waters of Lake Tahoe, and Joe breathed deeply of the clean mountain air scented with pine.\u00a0 He knew he couldn\u2019t stay here for long, as it was a certainty that he\u2019d be followed, yet he couldn\u2019t fight the undeniable need to say goodbye.\u00a0 Besides, this was one of his favorite spots, and knowing that he might never come here again made the boy conscious of each moment.\u00a0 Taking in every sight and sound, Joe struggled to memorize it all; his last visit.\u00a0 But no matter how hard he tried to relax and enjoy the surroundings, a persistent voice echoed inside his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe marks . . the marks on Joe\u2019s neck . . it was a man\u2019s hands that caused those marks.\u00a0 Someone choked him, almost to death.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWho did this to Little Joe?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cIt was you, Pa.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Shaking his head as if to clear it of the offending voices, Joe turned away from the lake and returned to the lonely grave.\u00a0 He slipped to his knees, one hand gripped tightly on his mother\u2019s headstone as the other reached out to touch the mound of earth before him.\u00a0 His sense of loss and betrayal was overwhelming, and for the first time in his life, Joseph Cartwright felt like he was truly alone in the world.\u00a0 Unable to hold back his tears any longer, the young man\u2019s head dropped to his chest, and covering his face with his hands, Joe cried out to a mother he could barely remember.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhy Mama?\u00a0 Why would he do something like that to me?\u00a0 I know he was hurt and sick.\u00a0 But . . . Pa . . . why?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The young man\u2019s voice broke, an audible sob carrying away any other painful words he may have spoken.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It took several minutes before Adam could control his own emotions enough to step forward and place a hand on his brother\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 The startled youth stiffened for a split second before turning slowly to identify the intruder and then dropped his head back into his hands.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLeave me alone, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For once Adam didn\u2019t throw back the rebuttal that burned on his lips.\u00a0 There was no sense getting into a verbal war with his younger brother, it would only kill any chance he had of getting Little Joe to come home.\u00a0 Instead, he squatted down next to his brother and focused his gaze on Marie\u2019s grave.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThose roses you planted are sure pretty; Marie would\u2019ve liked them.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It took several minutes, but finally Joe cleared his throat and forced himself to answer.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou think so?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, she loved flowers. I remember she told Pa one time that there couldn\u2019t be enough of them around the house.\u00a0\u00a0 After that, he made it a point to surprise her with bushes or plants he found; they\u2019d replant them in her garden out back of the house until she had more flowers than vegetables growing there.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam\u2019s voice was filled with the warmth of reminiscing; so filled with the memories of Marie\u2019s love that he didn\u2019t notice the cold silence emanating from his brother.\u00a0 So he was rather startled when Joe pushed himself abruptly from the ground and brushed the dust from his tan pants.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Jamming his hat down tightly on his head, Joe strode purposefully towards his horse, the warmth of tender memories forgotten in his hurry to escape his brother\u2019s company.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe, don\u2019t do this.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCan\u2019t help it, Adam.\u00a0 I gotta get away.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut why now?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Little Joe draped his arms across his saddle, bowing his head to rest upon them as if he no longer had the energy to hold himself erect.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCause now I know.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cKnow what?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know that Pa\u2019s the one who hurt me.\u00a0 And the nightmares make sense now, too.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Had Joe turned around he would\u2019ve been surprised to see the look of confusion on his brother\u2019s face.\u00a0 But Joe didn\u2019t look up, didn\u2019t even move, he just stood there next to his beloved Cochise, as the weight of the world seemed to settle on his shoulders.\u00a0\u00a0 Behind him, Adam stood stock-still, his face belaying the misunderstanding he felt.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Turning away, Adam paced back to Marie\u2019s grave then turned back once more to stare at his brother.\u00a0 Still in his position of defeat, Joe hadn\u2019t moved, a silent confirmation that his comments were sincere.\u00a0 Rubbing his head tiredly, Adam struggled to make sense of the situation, finally realizing that there was no use second-guessing his brother.\u00a0 There was only one-way to get things straightened out.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe, why don\u2019t you start from the beginning?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo sense wasting time.\u00a0 And it won\u2019t change anything.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMaybe not, but at least I\u2019d understand.\u00a0 Come on, just give me a couple minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Reluctantly, Joe moved away from his pinto and returned to his mother\u2019s grave.\u00a0 This time he sat cross-legged beside his brother and proceeded to pick absently at the vines, which wound around the granite marker.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam quickly realized that Joe was an unwilling participant, and he struggled to find the right questions to get his brother to open up.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s the first thing you remember after the shipwreck?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBeing in the water.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWas Pa with you?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n This was going to be harder than expected, Adam realized.\u00a0 With only short, terse answers, Joe was definitely not making the process any easier.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDid he get hurt then or later?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe was already hurt when we . . . oh, come on, Adam.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t going to help anything.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt might.\u00a0 Now, when did Pa start acting different?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhen we were in the water, but worse after we were on the beach.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat, exactly, did he do?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean, you don\u2019t know?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve already told you, I don\u2019t remember much about that time.\u00a0 Just bits and pieces, and not always in the right order.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut what about . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cListen, Adam, I don\u2019t remember what Pa did.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember what Pa said, or how he acted.\u00a0 Can\u2019t you understand?\u00a0 It\u2019s all a blur to me, just random memories that come and go.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t even know that Pa was the one who bruised my neck until I heard you and . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The quiet stretched between them as Adam finally realized what all had taken place.\u00a0 Joe must\u2019ve been suffering from some kind of fear, but he must not have realized what it was from.\u00a0 And evidently he\u2019d been eavesdropping the night before when Pa and Adam spoke in front of the fireplace.\u00a0 No wonder the boy had shut himself off.\u00a0 He must be feeling like there were dark surprises waiting for him wherever he turned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam contemplated Joe\u2019s revelation, surprised to learn that the boy had truly not been aware of what had taken place.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCome back home, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t stay there.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhy not?\u00a0 If you know Pa didn\u2019t mean to hurt you. .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t understand, Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been having these nightmares, and I ask Pa to help me, but . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam dropped his gaze but was unable to block out the pain in Joe\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2019s the one you need to tell this to.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you come home and tell him everything.\u00a0 You know he\u2019s always been able to help you when you have a problem.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t you see, Adam?\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been able to talk to Pa for weeks, and I didn\u2019t even know what he\u2019d done.\u00a0 If I couldn\u2019t talk to him before, what makes you think it\u2019ll be any easier now?\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m scared, Adam, scared all the time, and I don\u2019t even know what I\u2019m scared of.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n This last part was spoken in a voice so faint that Adam had to strain to hear it.\u00a0 Reaching over, he laid a hand on Joe\u2019s arm only to have it shrugged away.\u00a0\u00a0 Suddenly, Joe was on his feet and moving back to his horse.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t give Adam a chance to catch up to him before swinging into the saddle.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll see ya, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe, you can\u2019t go.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t stay.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGive him a chance Joe.\u00a0 Give Pa a chance to make it right.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His head hanging low, the younger man didn\u2019t speak for a moment, but when he did, his voice cracked with emotion.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPlease, Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Cochise was already walking away and still Adam stood staring.\u00a0 How could he go back to Pa without his little brother? \u00a0What would this do to Ben Cartwright?\u00a0 But Adam knew the answer; it would destroy him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Part way down the trail, Joe pulled his horse to a stop and looked back one last time at his mother\u2019s grave.\u00a0 His heart clenched in pain, as he took in the sight of a place so significant to him.\u00a0 But the picture that burned itself into his mind was that of a dark-clothed man, his face full of love and concern.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hands on the pommel, chin dropping to his chest, Joe sat silently in his saddle.\u00a0 A familiar low voice carried itself to him on the breeze, and his head dropped farther as heard the plea.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat would your mother want you to do?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sat quietly in his red leather chair, his prayers spoken silently, heart heavy with fear.\u00a0 He\u2019d tried to work at his desk, had even attempted several small chores about the place, but had finally given up in defeat.\u00a0 There was only one thing his mind could focus on this morning, and that was his youngest child.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With his mind so intent on his silent pleas, Ben missed the sound of the horse\u2019s hooves, but quickly recognized the heavy footsteps as they approached the front door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018One.\u00a0 There\u2019s only one person coming in.\u00a0 Adam couldn\u2019t bring him home.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pulling himself tiredly from his chair, Ben suddenly felt as if he were a hundred years old as the front door slowly began to open.\u00a0 Turning towards the fireplace, his shoulders slumped as he realized he was afraid to face his oldest son.\u00a0 Of course he couldn\u2019t blame Adam; it wasn\u2019t his fault that Joe was headstrong and stubborn.\u00a0 Yet Ben was filled with longing and regret.\u00a0 \u2018I should\u2019ve gone after him myself.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben almost fell against the hearth as he turned quickly to the sound of his son\u2019s voice, and his own voice shook with feeling as he answered.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pa found that he couldn\u2019t get another word past his lips as he took in the sight of his youngest son.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s face was pale and drawn, and his eyes held a strange look of apprehension.\u00a0 Pa stared at his boy for only a moment before responding instinctively.\u00a0\u00a0 Stepping forward, he enveloped his son in his powerful embrace.\u00a0 He had to show the boy how much he loved him, and unconsciously he knew that his son needed to feel safe.\u00a0 Almost immediately, Joe began to speak softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThis dream, Pa, I keep having this dream.\u00a0 It\u2019s always the same.\u00a0 I\u2019m alone on the deck of a ship and there\u2019s a horrible storm.\u00a0 No matter where I look, I can\u2019t find you.\u00a0 Then something happens and I\u2019m sliding towards the edge, but just as I go over, I manage to catch hold and I\u2019m hanging above the water . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s thin voice faltered for a moment, and he swiped at his eyes with the back of one hand before continuing.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI call for you, but when you come to help me . .\u00a0 you look so strange, like you don\u2019t know me, or worse, that you hate me.\u00a0 Then, just when I think you\u2019re going to pull me back onto the deck, you let go of me and I fall.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben pulled his son closer and raised his hand to the back of Joe\u2019s neck.\u00a0 After several minutes, he pulled back enough to be able to look into his son\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa, I can\u2019t explain why, but I\u2019ve been so scared since we got home.\u00a0 I\u2019ve tried to talk to you . . I wanted to, but . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s alright, son, I understand now.\u00a0 Whatever happened while we were in Mexico, whatever I did to you, it wasn\u2019t your pa that did that.\u00a0 I hurt you, in ways I can\u2019t even imagine possible, and I\u2019m so sorry.\u00a0 I can\u2019t believe that . .\u00a0 it\u2019s so hard . . .\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s face was wet with silent tears and Joe was intensely aware of his father\u2019s pain.\u00a0 Suddenly, his own feelings paled in comparison.\u00a0 For the first time since overhearing Adam and Pa the night before, Joe focused on how his father must have felt at the news.\u00a0 His pa, who\u2019d always been full of love and protection for his sons, even when disciplining his youngest, there had never been a question of the man\u2019s love.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt wasn\u2019t your fault, Pa; you didn\u2019t know what you were doing.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, but I hurt you, son.\u00a0 And I\u2019d rather have died than to hurt you like that.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, Pa, please don\u2019t say that.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe, I love you son.\u00a0 You have to know that I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben wanted so much to add that he would never hurt his son, but those words would not come.\u00a0 He knew that it was too soon, and the promise may not seem real in the light of past events.\u00a0 For now, all he could do was show his love and pray that the feeling of security would return for his boy.\u00a0\u00a0 Grasping Joe\u2019s shoulders with his hands, Ben looked into his son\u2019s eyes, pleading for that last release he needed so desperately.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSon, please forgive me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI do, Pa, I do.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His head dropped back onto his father\u2019s shoulder and for the first time in many weeks, Little Joe really did feel safe and loved.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The wooden deck of the ship rolled beneath his feet, a feeling that seemed all too familiar.\u00a0 A sense of inescapable dread grew within him as Joe made his way carefully across the wide planks.\u00a0 Waves surged up and over the side of the ship, leaving their foamy tracks upon the walkway; the end result was a path that was treacherous at best.\u00a0 Yet Joe continued on his quest, searching anxiously for his pa.\u00a0\u00a0 The sound of the storm was<\/em> evident in the creak of the wooden ship and the snap of the cloth sails; but more terrifying, by far, was the fierce shriek of the incredible wind.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Suddenly, a vibration seemed to roll through the great ship, causing the craft to pitch beneath his feet.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe was thrown unceremoniously to the deck, its slick surface adding to his predicament, as he slid uncontrollably towards the railing.\u00a0 His scream of terror seemed to go unheard as the young man slipped over the edge of the ship, his body dangling above the dark water of the sea.\u00a0 But once more Joe called out to the one man he relied on more than anyone else, his voice edged with a sense of panic.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa!\u00a0 Pa, help me!\u00a0 I need you, Pa.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n His strength waning, Joe didn\u2019t know how much longer he could hold on when he finally saw the man moving swiftly towards him. <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cHelp me, Pa. I\u2019m falling!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Stooping down, the older man reached out and grasped Joe\u2019s wrists; then, with a strength born of love, he pulled the young man back to the deck of the ship.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Joe looked up into the familiar face and felt a surge of relief as his beloved father smiled down at him.\u00a0 The warmth of Pa\u2019s love was like a balm that soothed his soul, and Little Joe\u2019s eyes filled with tears.\u00a0 Pulling his son into his embrace, the two sat quietly together, the storm no longer raging around them.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n From the doorway of Little Joe\u2019s bedroom, two men stood in silent witness as their father held his youngest son.\u00a0 Then, slowly, Hoss draped an arm across Adam\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 The nightmare was over, and everything they\u2019d lost had finally been found.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Epilogue:<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam looked up from the ledger as Hoss slammed the front door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam!\u00a0 Adam, where are ya?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There wasn\u2019t a chance to answer before the large man hurried around the corner, and after catching sight of his older brother, came directly up to the desk.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam smiled at the happy look on his brother\u2019s face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s all the excitement?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe got a letter from Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Accepting the envelope from his brother, Adam tore the white paper, his own hand eager to complete the job.\u00a0 It had been weeks since Pa and Little Joe departed for New Orleans.\u00a0 Their journey took a slightly different course then originally planned, but no one questioned that the new route made everyone feel more at ease.\u00a0 Besides, Little Joe had made it clear that he would not be traveling by ship anytime in the near future.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After the first telegram arrived, stating that the travelers had arrived safely, there had been no further word.\u00a0 Assuming that the two were simply enjoying their visit, Adam and Hoss had busied themselves with the routine of the Ponderosa, yet they were anxious to hear from their absent family members.\u00a0 Now, with the missive in hand, Adam found himself both eager and relieved.\u00a0 If nothing else, the letter was confirmation that the two were fine; after all, any serious news would have come by way of telegraph.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pulling several sheets of paper from the envelope, he read aloud from his father\u2019s letter:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dear Adam & Hoss,<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n I hope this finds you boys doing well, and everything running smoothly at the ranch.\u00a0 We miss you both, and will be glad when we\u2019re back home on the Ponderosa, but I must say that Joe and I are enjoying our time here in New Orleans. <\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n We\u2019ve visited some of Marie\u2019s relatives and have spent time in some of her favorite places.\u00a0 The city is as exciting as I remember it and we have met some very nice people during our stay.\u00a0 All in all, our trip has been a tremendous success, and Joe seems like his old self. <\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Our plans have not changed, and we will be leaving for home at the end of the month.\u00a0 I will send you a telegram while in route so that you will have the exact time of our arrival.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Until then, take care of yourselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Love,<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Pa<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Silence stretched between the two brothers as Adam finished reading.\u00a0 It was several minutes before Hoss cleared his throat and wondered out loud.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWonder why Little Joe didn\u2019t write.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh, you know him.\u00a0 He was probably too busy chasing after some good looking girl.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n But as he folded the parchment, Adam couldn\u2019t help but wonder about his brother\u2019s comment.\u00a0 So immersed was he in his thoughts, it took several minutes before the dark-haired man realized the paper would not slide back into its original cover.\u00a0 Peering into its depths, Adam was surprised to see that there was something remaining there.\u00a0 Pulling out the second paper, he immediately recognized his name in the familiar backhanded writing on the front.\u00a0 Unfolding the small scrap of paper, a warm smile spread across Adam\u2019s face, causing Hoss to move forward in curiosity.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat does it say?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Clearing his throat, Adam read the short note.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dear Adam,<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Thank you!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Love,<\/p>\n Joe<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The End!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
\n\u201cTired.\u00a0 And my head hurts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n
\n Dear Pa.I need some time. I\u2019m sorry.Joe<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n