{"id":11357,"date":"2009-09-05T17:29:27","date_gmt":"2009-09-05T21:29:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=11357"},"modified":"2026-03-07T18:51:43","modified_gmt":"2026-03-07T23:51:43","slug":"but-for-the-grace-of-god-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=11357","title":{"rendered":"But for the Grace of God (by JoanS)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>: Events force a son to look back on a traumatic time in his life; acknowledging how thankful his is for his family.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 K+\u00a0 (11,205 words)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But for the Grace of God<\/strong><\/p>\n

Joe Cartwright dismounted from his horse and stretched wearily. It had been a long ride from Reno and he was bone weary, wanting nothing more than to stretch out on a soft bed in the best hotel this town had to offer and sleep. Yet he knew that if he did he\u2019d never get up to eat supper in a few hours and so he resolutely turned from the hotel and headed over towards the saloon across the street. A good cold beer or two would go down well and then he could go and get a bath before eating.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It had been a long week and Joe was more then pleased to be headed home again. Not that he hadn\u2019t minded the time out from the usual back-breaking chores he usually spent his week doing and this trip to Sacramento had been a welcome break from routine, but he had ridden hard today and was frankly tired of all the negotiating that he\u2019d had to do in finalising those timber contracts for his father. Joe knew that Pa would be pleased with the result and that it had a worthwhile trip, but somehow his heart longed to be home once again. Well, he thought as he tied up Cochise outside the saloon, in two days time I will be.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was about to enter the saloon when he heard a noise at the end of the street and turned to see a black-draped vehicle on which was placed a coffin. Instinctively, he took off his hat as a mark of respect as the vehicle came closer, squinting in the afternoon sunlight as he tried to make out the customary group of family and friends that usually walked behind at such times. To his surprise, however, no one followed the hearse and the only person in attendance seemed to be the man in black who was driving the wagon.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe waited until the vehicle has passed the saloon before putting on his hat again. He supposed that it was making its way to the small cemetery he\u2019d seen on his way into town. Something about the loneliness of the funeral touched him and he shook his head as he turned and continued to walk into the saloon. \u201cA beer thanks,\u201d he said, plonking his money down on the counter and smiling at the bartender. He took a sip of the cool, refreshing liquid and grinned with pleasure as he felt it trickle down the back of his parched throat. He downed it quickly and then ordered another straight away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho was the funeral for?\u201d he asked as the bartender put the second beer on the counter in front of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTom Atkins,\u201d said the men. \u201cYoung fellar from round these parts.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d said Joe. \u201cSmall funeral. No one seemed to be there except the guy from the funeral home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat weren\u2019t no funeral director,\u201d sniffed the man. \u201cMore like Charlie the grave digger. \u201cPauper\u2019s funeral that one. Tom Atkins didn\u2019t have a dime to bless himself with so there\u2019d be no fee for the undertaker.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe frowned. It seemed so sad that the poor man hadn\u2019t even had the money to pay for a proper funeral. \u201cThere wasn\u2019t anyone there,\u201d he said. \u201cDidn\u2019t he have any family or friends?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNope.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe found that hard to believe. \u201cNo one at all?\u201d he said. \u201cIf he was from around these parts then surely someone would have been at his funeral.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe used ta have family I guess,\u201d shrugged the man. \u201cNot any more though. They don\u2019t have anything ta do with him. Haven\u2019t for years.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cStill \u2026\u201d mused Joe. \u201cWhen a man dies and all \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A man came over and stood beside him and touched him on the shoulder. \u201cTom Atkins didn\u2019t deserve no family,\u201d he said. \u201cDidn\u2019t deserve no friends neither. That one didn\u2019t deserve nothing.\u201d He paused and took a swig of his drink. \u201cHe died with nothing too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo one deserves nothing,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe did,\u201d said the bartender. \u201cStill only a young fellar \u2026\u201d he looked Joe up and down. \u201cNot much older than you I reckon \u2026 and he still managed to amount to nothing. Couldn\u2019t hold a job \u2026 lost the only girl he\u2019d ever been keen on \u2026 his family ended up turning their backs on him \u2026. And so did his friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe took another sip of his drink. \u201cHow come?\u201d he asked curiously.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDrink,\u201d said the man next to him. \u201cHe\u2019s been a drunkard fer years. Since he was old enough ta come into this place he was always out fer one too many drinks of the stuff. When he was a youngster it was just this,\u201d he indicated the beer in his hand. \u201cThen that wasn\u2019t enough fer him any more and he used ta take straight whiskey.\u201d He leant forward closer to Joe. \u201cCept he took it by the bottleful, not the glass,\u201d he said and then shook his head. \u201cToo much booze too early in life.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut what about his family and friends?\u201d asked Joe. \u201cDidn\u2019t anyone try to stop him along the way?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh \u2026 people tried I reckon,\u201d said the bartender. \u201cOnly he still seemed ta come back for the stuff. I remember his father hauling him outta here a time or time way back \u2026 but I reckon he just gave up trying along the way. Everyone did.\u201d He made a face. \u201cThe town drunkard \u2026 that\u2019s what Tom Atkins was. Drank himself to drink in the end \u2026. But no one\u2019ll miss him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I think that\u2019s real sad,\u201d said Joe, cradling his beer and looking into it thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d said the men next to him. \u201cSeems such a waste of a life don\u2019t it?\u201d He finished his beer and turned to go. \u201cStill \u2026.. I reckon Tom\u2019s finished with it all now.\u201d Joe took his beer and walked over to a table in the corner and sat down. He took off his hat and ran his fingers through his curls as he thought back to the funeral procession he\u2019d seen moments before. Such a waste of a life<\/em> the man had said \u2026 a waste of a life<\/em> \u2026\u2026\u2026.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph I\u2019ve had enough of this!\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe flinched at his father\u2019s words. \u201cI\u2019m sorry Pa,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re sorry!\u201d thundered Ben. \u201cAnd how many times have I heard that young man? When are you going to stop and think before you do these things? I\u2019ve lost count of the times either one of your brothers or myself have bailed you out of jail for drunken behaviour, or the times you\u2019ve come stumbling in here the worse for drink.\u201d Ben pointed his finger under his son\u2019s nose. \u201cWell it\u2019s about to stop \u2026 do you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Pa,\u201d said Joe automatically.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you Yes Pa <\/em>me,\u201d said Ben sternly. \u201cI\u2019ve heard it so many times before Joseph.\u201d He began to pace up and down the room while Joe looked at him mournfully. \u201cGet upstairs,\u201d said his father finally as he rubbed his temples. \u201cYou\u2019re restricted to the ranch until I decide that you\u2019re responsible to go to town again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned away and then hesitated, facing his father again. \u201cHow long will that be Pa?\u201d he asked tentatively.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared at him. \u201cWell that\u2019s up to you, isn\u2019t it son? The way you\u2019re going though, it could be a very long time. Now go upstairs before I decide that you\u2019re not too old to put over my knee.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe scampered up the stairs quickly, his father and brothers watching him without a word. Ben walked over and sat down heavily in his easy chair next to the fire and began to fill his pipe. Hoss gave Adam a mournful look and stood up, walking upstairs without a word. \u201cI suppose you\u2019re ready to say I told you so<\/em>,\u201d said Ben quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d replied Adam, closing his book. \u201cI think we both know that it was inevitable that his good behaviour couldn\u2019t last.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head as he lit his pipe. \u201cI just can\u2019t understand that boy at times,\u201d he sighed. \u201cIt\u2019s as if he doesn\u2019t even know what he\u2019s doing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe he doesn\u2019t,\u201d replied Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gave him a long look. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d he asked finally. \u201cHe\u2019s eighteen \u2026. old enough to know the consequences of his actions.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know that,\u201d said Adam. \u201cBut he\u2019s the sort of kid who just doesn\u2019t think,\u201d he said. \u201cYou know that Pa. He\u2019s always been like it. I don\u2019t honestly think that Joe means to do the things he does \u2026 he just doesn\u2019t think things through.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell it\u2019s about time he learnt to,\u201d said Ben grimly. \u201cI meant what I said \u2026 he\u2019s going to stay on this ranch until he can show me that he\u2019s responsible enough to go into town again. This drinking has to stop!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d said Adam thoughtfully. \u201cYou know Pa, when I was in Boston there was this fellar at college who drank quite a bit. We all laughed it off at the time as young fellars do, but when I look back on it I think he had a serious problem. Apparently he never did stop \u2026 cost him his career in the end, so I believe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cExactly!\u201d said Ben. \u201cI don\u2019t intend for Joseph to have his life ruined by acquiring a taste for alcohol in that way. The boy drinks far too much for someone his age and no son of mine is going to gain a reputation around here as a drinker.\u201d He clenched his jaw. \u201cI don\u2019t care what it takes,\u201d he said grimly. \u201cBut that boy is going to grow up right. It\u2019s my job to see to it!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d said Hoss as he entered his brother\u2019s room. \u201cYou OK?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe rolled over on his bed and faced the wall. \u201cI\u2019ve got a headache,\u201d he said. \u201cNo lectures, huh Hoss? I\u2019ve had enough of them already today.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI weren\u2019t gonna lecture ya Joe,\u201d said Hoss, sitting down next to the bed. \u201cI just wanted ta see if you was OK.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned his head to face his brother. \u201cThanks,\u201d he said. \u201cI guess no one else around here cares.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell ya can\u2019t really blame em fer not showing it at the moment,\u201d said Hoss easily. \u201cYou kinda brought this on yaself ya know little brother. What made ya get so drunk this time?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno,\u201d replied Joe with a sigh. \u201cJust cause I could do it I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cStupid reason,\u201d said Hoss thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d said Joe in a low voice. \u201cIt seemed like a good idea at the time though.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re getting drunk an awful lot lately Joe,\u201d mused Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sighed again. \u201cI know. It\u2019s hard not to when ya drink as much as I do. I sure feel horrible after but.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Then why do ya do it?\u201d asked Hoss. \u201cOne or two beers is fine, but why don\u2019t ya stop when ya should?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell it\u2019s hard \u2026 you know? When other fellars keep drinking it\u2019s hard not to \u2026 and when someone buys me a drink I kinda feel like I haveta return the favour.\u201d Joe sighed again. \u201cAnd \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd \u2026 what?\u201d asked Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI kinda like the feeling it gives me. I feel real good when I drink.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cUntil it wears off,\u201d sniffed Hoss. \u201cLook at ya now. Ya look like ya ready ta puke.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI feel like it,\u201d admitted Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u201cI dunno Joe,\u201d he said. \u201cThere\u2019s no figuring that head of yours sometimes.\u201d He turned and left the room, leaving Joe to clutch his stomach and groan as he lay on his bed, feeling sorry for himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam pushed open the swinging doors of the saloon and shook his head as he saw his youngest brother sitting in the corner drinking by himself. \u201cPa\u2019s been looking for you,\u201d he said sternly as he approached the young man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave his brother a lopsided grin. \u201cHas he?\u201d he said and took another sip.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam took the glass firmly out of his hand and put it on the table before picking up Joe\u2019s hat and slamming it down none too gently on his head. \u201cHe certainly has,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m taking you home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t finished my drink yet,\u201d protested Joe as Adam pulled him to his feet by the arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve had as much as you\u2019re having tonight,\u201d said Adam firmly, pushing his brother in front of him towards the door. \u201cYou look like you\u2019ve had too much as it is already.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAw come on Adam!\u201d protested Joe. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you have one with me?\u201d He gave his brother another lopsided grin, but Adam merely pushed him out between the swinging doors before following him. Joe winced as the cold night air hit him. \u201cCan\u2019t a fellar even have a few drinks without everyone jumping on him?\u201d he muttered as he put his foot in the stirrup of his horse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam watched him try to get up on his horse without much success. Finally he reached over and hauled him up by the back of his trousers before mounting up himself and motioning for Joe to follow him. The two brothers rode down the street in silence, Joe swaying a little in the saddle. It wasn\u2019t until they were out of town that he spoke again. \u201cYou angry with me?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou could say that,\u201d said Adam tersely. \u201cBut it\u2019s nothing compared with what Pa is feeling about you right about now. You weren\u2019t supposed to be in town at all, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe made a face. \u201cI know,\u201d he admitted. \u201cBut \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut what?\u201d snapped Adam. \u201cCan\u2019t you ever do as you\u2019re told?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shrugged. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said. \u201cBut I just had ta have a couple of drinks. I\u2019ve been working hard all week,\u201d he added defensively.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSave it Joe,\u201d said Adam tersely. \u201cI\u2019m not listening.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shrugged and they rode for quite a while before he spoke again. \u201cI gotta stop for a minute,\u201d he said suddenly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned in his saddle. \u201cYou just keep on riding,\u201d he said. \u201cPa is sick with worry about you and I aim to get you home as soon as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe went pale. \u201cBut \u2026\u201d He leant over the side of his horse and promptly vomited up the contents of his stomach. Adam wrinkled his nose in a disgusted manner and waited until his brother had stopped retching before undoing the stopper on his canteen and handing it to him. \u201cRinse,\u201d he ordered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe rinsed and then handed the canteen back to his brother. \u201cThanks,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow ride,\u201d said Adam firmly. \u201cGet moving.\u201d Joe gave his brother a mournful look and spurred his horse forward again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was a full two hours later before the two brothers finally made it to the house. \u201cThey\u2019re here,\u201d said Hoss, looking out of the study window.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben strode over and looked as well. \u201cYou brother looks the worse for wear once again,\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss gave his father a helpless look and walked to the front door, reaching it just as Adam was helping Joe into the room. \u201cHe\u2019s had a skinful,\u201d said Adam as Hoss took hold of his youngest brother. \u201cI\u2019m sorry I\u2019ve been so long Pa, but he kept throwing up on the way home, so we had to keep stopping.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head at the sight of his youngest son. \u201cGet him up to bed Hoss,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll deal with him in the morning. He won\u2019t make sense of anything I say to him now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cCome on Joe. Up we go.\u201d He supported his brother around the waist as they made their way up the stairs slowly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHere we go again,\u201d said Ben grimly as he watched them. \u201cI\u2019m sick and tired of having to check and see if he stays in his room when he\u2019s sent there.\u201d He sat down on the edge of his desk. \u201cWhat is wrong with the boy Adam? Is he unhappy about something? What on earth is it? Do you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo Pa I don\u2019t,\u201d said Adam. \u201cAlthough …\u201d His voice trailed away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAlthough what?\u201d asked Ben, his eyes darting towards his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat down on a chair and gave his father a hesitant look. \u201cWell \u2026 I don\u2019t know \u2026 it was just something that occurred to me when I found him in the saloon tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell? What is it? Spit it out!\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe was sitting by himself drinking,\u201d explained Adam. \u201cThere was no one with him \u2026 he was all alone. I\u2019ve always thought that he drank to be sociable Pa, but this was the first time that I had my doubts. He was just drinking as if \u2026. Well as if he was drinking just for the sake of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI see,\u201d said Ben thoughtfully. He shook his head. \u201cWhat am I to do Adam? I\u2019ve tried confining him to the ranch \u2026. and now his room. Nothing seems to work. Am I supposed to tie him up for heavens sake? We can\u2019t watch him all the time!\u201d He put his face in his hands. \u201cGod help us,\u201d he said softly. \u201cI hate to think of a son of mine becoming a \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa it\u2019s not that serious,\u201d interrupted Adam. \u201cI\u2019m sure it\u2019s not.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you Adam?\u201d asked Ben. \u201cThis has been going on for a while now. Every chance he gets he\u2019s in town in that saloon. Where is this leading? I hate to think.\u201d He squared his shoulders. \u201cI have to help him \u2026 but God help me, I\u2019m just not sure how.\u201d He tried to smile at his son. \u201cYou go on up to bed son,\u201d he said. \u201cThank you for bringing him home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam put a hand on his father\u2019s shoulder. \u201cThat\u2019s what big brothers are for,\u201d he said. \u201cDon\u2019t worry too much about him Pa. You\u2019ve spent years teaching him the right way to live and it\u2019ll stick by him. He\u2019ll get through this phase.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben placed his hand on top of Adam\u2019s and patted it. \u201cI sure hope so Adam,\u201d he said. \u201cI sure hope so.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben woke up with a start, wondering why he would suddenly have come back to consciousness in the middle of the night. He sat up and lit the lamp next to his bed, glancing at his pocket watch on the dresser. Two o\u2019clock! He snuggled down under the covers again and then opened his eyes once again as he heard a small noise. He sat up again and reached for his robe, pulling it on as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He opened the top drawer of his dresser and took out a small pistol, checking it as he walked towards the door of his bedroom.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he got to the end of the hallway, Ben looked around the top of the staircase. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Joe sitting in front of the fireplace which was still glowing with the last of the embers from the night\u2019s fire. \u201cJoseph,\u201d he said softly as he walked down the stairs and was surprised to see his son give a guilty start. \u201cWhat are you doing up at this hour?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI \u2026 um \u2026 couldn\u2019t sleep,\u201d said Joe. Ben glanced down and saw that his son was holding a glass of whiskey in his hand. \u201cI thought this might help to put me off,\u201d said Joe defensively.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI see,\u201d said his father, sitting down next to him. \u201cHot milk might work better you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave his father an angry look. \u201cI\u2019ve had a hard week,\u201d he spat out. \u201cDo you begrudge me just one drink when I need it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid I say that I did?\u201d asked Ben mildly. He glanced at the near-empty whiskey bottle on the coffee table. \u201cIt seems like you\u2019ve had more than one though.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam always helps himself and you don\u2019t mind,\u201d snapped Joe. \u201cI didn\u2019t think it would matter if I did.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI would have said yes if you\u2019d asked,\u201d said his father, watching him closely.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBit hard to do that when you were asleep,\u201d muttered Joe, taking another sip.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cYes,\u201d he said. \u201cAlthough I suspect that you still wouldn\u2019t have asked Joseph.\u201d Joe said nothing in reply to his father\u2019s comment. \u201cIt\u2019s obvious to me that you don\u2019t want anyone to know how much you drink,\u201d continued Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t drink that much,\u201d muttered Joe, looking at the whiskey in his hand. Ben raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. \u201cI don\u2019t!\u201d said Joe into the silence that was between them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou do Joe,\u201d said Ben. \u201cYou drink far too much than you should for a young man your age.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stood up and began to pace up and down in front of the fireplace. \u201cThat\u2019s your opinion,\u201d he said finally.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben raised the other eyebrow. \u201cYou speak to me politely young man,\u201d he said sternly. \u201cDo you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stopped pacing. \u201cYes sir,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is going on?\u201d asked Ben. \u201cI want to know why you are drinking so much Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d said Joe sullenly. \u201cI just like it, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cI see.\u201d He sat down on the sofa and motioned for Joe to do the same. \u201cJoseph I\u2019m very worried about you,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave his father a puzzled look. \u201cYou don\u2019t need to be,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not so sure about that,\u201d continued Ben. \u201cThis drinking habit of yours has become quite a problem son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head. \u201cIt ain\u2019t a problem Pa,\u201d he said sincerely. \u201cHonest.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben put his arm around his son\u2019s shoulder. \u201cJoe I want you to do something,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah? What?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI want you to give up drinking for a specified length of time \u2026. Say two weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe frowned. \u201cWhy?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTo prove that you can do it,\u201d said his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe snorted. \u201cOf course I can do it,\u201d he said. \u201cI don\u2019t need to drink all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen you\u2019re prepared to prove that?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his father\u2019s arm off and stood up. \u201cWhy should I?\u201d he said defensively. \u201cI told you that I don\u2019t need to drink and that\u2019s the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d said Ben standing up beside him. \u201cThen you\u2019ll have no trouble stopping for two weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy should I?\u201d asked Joe again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I\u2019m asking you to,\u201d said his father simply. \u201cI\u2019d like you to do this Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave his father a frustrated look. \u201cOK,\u201d he said finally. \u201cI\u2019ll do it. Two weeks. Just to show you that I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cThank you,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe fidgeted restlessly on the sofa as he waited for Hoss to make his move. \u201cHurry up!\u201d he said testily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss continued to scratch his head as he surveyed the chessboard in between them. \u201cI\u2019m thinking,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave a loud sigh and rolled his eyes. \u201cYou\u2019ve been thinking for five minutes,\u201d he said impatiently. \u201cCan\u2019t you just make a move?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll make a move when I\u2019m good and ready,\u201d retorted Hoss. \u201cJust be patient shortshanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t call me that!\u201d snapped Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss grinned at him. \u201cOk then,\u201d he said. \u201cBig shorty.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe rolled his eyes. \u201cJust make a move for crying out loud,\u201d he snapped. \u201cHurry up!\u201d He began to drum his fingers on the coffee table impatiently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCan you please stop that?\u201d said Adam, from behind his book.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d snapped Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat.\u201d Adam pointed to his brother\u2019s and on the table. \u201cIt\u2019s annoying.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo-rry!\u201d said Joe sarcastically and stopped. His left foot began to twitch with impatience and the movement caused the coffee table to move slightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cQuit it!\u201d said Hoss. \u201cYou\u2019re gonna upset the pieces Joe. Keep still why don\u2019t ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI am,\u201d said Joe crossly. \u201cIf you\u2019d make a move then maybe \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph would you please just calm down?\u201d said his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI am calm!\u201d snapped Joe. \u201cHoss just won\u2019t make a move!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s eating you?\u201d asked Hoss, staring at his brother. \u201cIf you don\u2019t shut up, then I ain\u2019t playing no more anyhow Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSuit yourself!\u201d snapped Joe, standing up abruptly. \u201cI woulda won anyway.\u201d He strode over to the staircase. \u201cI\u2019m going to bed!\u201d he announced.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head and replaced the chess pieces on the board. \u201cHe sure has been crabby these past few days,\u201d he said. \u201cI can\u2019t make him out. You want a game Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shut his book. \u201cSure,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat thoughtfully puffing on his pipe and staring into the fire, wondering just how much of Joe\u2019s bad temper was caused by lack of alcohol this past week. He hated to think that his son had been drinking so much that he was feeling the effects of withdrawing from it, but it seemed to him that the boy\u2019s constant fidgeting and bad temper lately might be just that. He hoped with all his heart that this challenge he\u2019d given Jose to give it up for two weeks would be exactly what the young man needed to get back on track in his life. If they could all just live through these next few days with his bad moods then Ben had every confidence that it would be so. He stood up and stretched.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think I\u2019ll have an early night as well boys,\u201d he said. \u201cGoodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNight Pa,\u201d said Adam and Hoss, not looking up from the chessboard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben climbed the stairs slowly and then picked up a lamp from the table at the top and lit it. He walked down the hall towards his bedroom, noticing as he did so that there was no light showing from under Joe\u2019s door. With a smile, he opened it. \u201cWell you certainly got into bed quickly,\u201d he said. \u201cGood night son.\u201d There was no answer. Ben approached the bed and shut his eyes momentarily as he saw that it was empty. \u201cJoseph,\u201d he breathed softly. \u201cOh Joseph!\u201d He hung his head and said a silent prayer for his wayward son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI brought him in bout midnight,\u201d explained Roy as Ben sat down on a chair on the other side of his desk. \u201cI reckoned you\u2019d be in eventually ta get him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow much damage was there to the saloon?\u201d asked Ben wearily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure,\u201d replied Roy. \u201cYou\u2019ll have to check with Sam about that. I told him that you\u2019d most likely be over there this morning to settle up with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d said Ben, standing up again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou wanna get Joe now \u2026 or after?\u201d asked Roy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLater,\u201d said Ben. \u201cActually I\u2019d like you to keep him here until this afternoon if you don\u2019t mind Roy. I\u2019ll be in to get him then.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t make any difference ta me how long I keep him for,\u201d replied the sheriff. \u201cIn fact the way he looked last night he probably needs that long ta sleep it off.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d said Ben absently. \u201cI\u2019ll be in late this afternoon then.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve already been into town once this morning,\u201d said Adam. \u201cI can go and get him if you like Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head as he tightened the cinch on his horse. \u201cThank you Adam, but no,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m going.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t mind,\u201d insisted Adam, thinking that the longer his father stayed away from Joe the better at the moment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI said no,\u201d snapped Ben. He looked at both of his sons. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m not angry with you two. It\u2019s just \u2026.\u201d He took a deep breath as Hop Sing appeared in the yard with two large parcels. \u201cThank you Hop Sing,\u201d he said, taking them from the man and putting them on the mule beside him. \u201cI\u2019m just so worried about your brother,\u201d he explained to Adam and Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAren\u2019t we all?\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are ya taking the mule Pa?\u201d asked Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be gone for a few days boys,\u201d said Ben, getting up on his horse. \u201cYour brother and I will be going fishing for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFishing?\u201d said Hoss incredulously.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes fishing,\u201d said Ben firmly. \u201cIf I have some time with him alone then maybe I\u2019ll be able to get through to him,\u201d he said flatly. I\u2019ll see you in a few days boys.\u201d He hesitated. \u201cActually I\u2019m not sure how long we\u2019ll be gone \u2026 it could be even longer. We\u2019ll be in the line shack up near Bluff Peak in case you need me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll be fine Pa,\u201d Adam assured his father. \u201cYou take your time \u2026 we\u2019ll look after things around here until you get back. Good luck,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded, knowing that his son understood. \u201cThank you son,\u201d he said. \u201cGoodbye boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe don\u2019t seem too het up with Joe this time,\u201d said Hoss as they watched their father ride out of the yard, leading the mule behind him. \u201cCan\u2019t figure why he\u2019d wanna take Joe fishing though. I woulda thought he wouldn\u2019t let him out of the house after that stunt shortshanks pulled last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam put his hand on Hoss\u2019 shoulder. \u201cI don\u2019t think that fishing is really what Pa has in mind,\u201d he said thoughtfully. \u201cAs a matter of fact, I have a suspicion that our younger brother might wish that Pa had left him in jail after a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe swallowed as he heard his father\u2019s deep voice outside in the sheriff\u2019s office. He\u2019d been expecting him all day and even though he was mighty glad that he\u2019d finally come to get him out of this stinking cell, he couldn\u2019t help but dread what was before him now. He knew the scene well. His father would give him one of his warning looks that meant that the tongue-lashing would begin when they got home. There would be a stony silence from him as Joe was forced to ride home in silence and when they finally arrived home \u2026. Joe winced as he thought about the lecture that was ahead of him. Any way he looked at it \u2026. It wasn\u2019t going to be pleasant.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHi Pa,\u201d he said, standing up as his father and Roy Coffee entered the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d said Ben, nodding at him as he waited for Roy to unlock the cell. \u201cThank you Roy,\u201d he said. He motioned at Joe. \u201cYou come with me,\u201d he said shortly and then turned his back on his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe picked up his hat. \u201cYes sir,\u201d he said meekly, knowing that this was no time to argue. \u201cThanks sheriff,\u201d he mumbled as he walked out of the cell. \u201cSorry bout all the trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy nodded to him as Ben left the building. \u201cBye Joe,\u201d he said. \u201cGood luck.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna need it this time,\u201d mumbled Joe as he walked outside. The bright sunshine made him blink a couple of times and he put on his hat immediately, feeling the pounding of his head as it began to throb again. He mounted his horse which was next to his father\u2019s noticing with surprise that Ben also had a mule with him. \u201cWhat\u2019s the mule for?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His father said nothing, but merely turned his horse around and began to ride slowly down the street. After a moment\u2019s hesitation, Joe began to follow him. As they got to the end of town, Ben unexpectedly turned in the opposite direction to The Ponderosa and Joe stopped in surprise. \u201cWhere are we going?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re going fishing,\u201d said his father as he continued to ride.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe caught up with him. \u201cHow come?\u201d he asked. Again, his father was silent, and Joe decided that his best course of action at this point was to merely go along with whatever the man was doing \u2026 so he continued to follow him silently. After half an hour though, his curiosity got the better of him. He couldn\u2019t for the life of him figure out why they would be going fishing at this time and his father\u2019s attitude was strange to say the least. There had been no yelling from him and even though Ben didn\u2019t look very happy with Joe and wasn\u2019t speaking to him \u2026 there wasn\u2019t the usual tension in the air that Joe felt at such times.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry about what happened Pa,\u201d he ventured finally.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure you are,\u201d replied his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe tried again. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to bust up the saloon like that,\u201d he said. Again, there was a long silence. \u201cI\u2019m sorry I went in for a drink like that too,\u201d he added. \u201cI know I promised not to \u2026 but I \u2026\u201d his voice trailed away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno,\u201d said Joe mournfully. \u201cI guess I just hadta have one.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His son\u2019s words pierced Ben\u2019s heart and he knew with certainty at that moment that he was doing the right thing. \u201cI see,\u201d he said shortly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t do it again,\u201d said Joe eagerly. \u201cI promise.\u201d There was a long silence again. \u201cAre we really going fishing?\u201d he asked after a while.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow come?\u201d There was silence again, so Joe merely sighed and rode next to his father quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou light the fire Joe,\u201d said Ben. \u201cI\u2019ll bring our things in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow come we\u2019re staying here?\u201d asked Joe, looking around the small line-shack. \u201cWe didn\u2019t have to come around to this side of the lake did we? We coulda fished closer to home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And closer to town,<\/em> added Ben to himself. \u201cGet the fire going,\u201d he instructed again as he went outside to get their bedrolls and the food that Hop Sing had packed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shrugged and started to light the fire. There wasn\u2019t any figuring his father at the moment, he thought. But if he wanted to fish for a few days, then Joe was more than happy to do it. It was sure better than work and much better than begin punished for what he\u2019d done. That was the one thing he couldn\u2019t figure out though. It just wasn\u2019t like his Pa not to punish him and he was sure that there\u2019d be a lecture while he was up here one way or the other. He sighed. Well, he\u2019d just have to wait until his father was ready to deliver and make the best of things while he did.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow come we\u2019ve come fishing?\u201d he asked later that evening as they both ate their supper in front of the blazing fire.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked at his son\u2019s face in the firelight. \u201cI think it\u2019s a good idea for you and I to spend some time together at the moment,\u201d he said. \u201cJust the two of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe tried to smile at his father, still not sure where all this was leading to and anxious to make amends with him. \u201cHow long will we be here for?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAs long as we need to be,\u201d replied Ben cryptically.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d asked Joe. \u201cNeed to be for what?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben put down his plate. \u201cGood night Joe,\u201d he said as he rolled himself into his bedroll. \u201cSleep well son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNight Pa,\u201d said Joe, giving his father a puzzled look. He sat staring into the fire for a few minutes, thinking that there was just no figuring the man out at the moment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He still found it difficult to figure him out the next day. His father didn\u2019t seem to be angry with him at all about what had happened, and the lecture didn\u2019t seem to be forthcoming either. In fact, as the day progressed, Joe felt himself relaxing in his father\u2019s presence as they fished side by side. \u201cThis is the life ain\u2019t it Pa?\u201d he said happily that afternoon.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure is,\u201d said Ben. \u201cWe\u2019re going to eat well tonight.\u201d He indicated the string of fish beside them happily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe grinned at the man, happy that any tension there had been yesterday seemed to be behind them now. \u201cI\u2019ve been a real pain lately Pa,\u201d he said suddenly. \u201cI\u2019m sorry about everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben hesitated. \u201cAre you Joe?\u201d he asked, looking at his son intently. \u201cDo you really mean that son?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah \u2026. I really mean it Pa,\u201d answered Joe sincerely.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben patted him on the shoulder. \u201cLet\u2019s get this fish cooked eh?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe picked up the fish. \u201cSure,\u201d he said in a puzzled tone. It was strange that his father hadn\u2019t pursued the topic, as the more Joe thought about it, the more convinced that it was why his Pa had brought him up here \u2026 to have some time to talk it through. Yet he seemed reluctant to do so. It wasn\u2019t like him and Joe couldn\u2019t put his finger on why the man didn\u2019t seem to be acting his usual self. Still \u2026. he mused \u2026 at least they were having some time to fish together and that could only be a good thing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d asked Ben as Joe turned restlessly in his bedroll for the third time in as many minutes. \u201cCan\u2019t you sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d replied Joe shortly. If the truth were known, he would have given anything for a drink right about now \u2026 even though he knew that there was no chance of getting one \u2026 and the thought of it seemed to be keeping him awake for some reason. He didn\u2019t know why he\u2019d suddenly thought about it, but it only served to make him irritable. \u201cWhen are we going home Pa?\u201d he asked into the darkness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you were enjoying yourself?\u201d said Ben softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI am,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cYou know I love to fish. But it\u2019s been three days now and \u2026. well \u2026 Adam and Hoss will be wondering where we are.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about them,\u201d replied his father. \u201cI told them that we\u2019d be a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut there\u2019s work to do,\u201d insisted Joe, getting up on one elbow and staring at his father through the darkness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben chuckled. \u201cWell that\u2019s the first time I\u2019ve ever heard you wanting to get back to work Joe,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave a half smile. \u201cI know,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI just don\u2019t think it\u2019s fair to Hoss and Adam, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben raised an eyebrow, which his son failed to see in the darkness. \u201cI see,\u201d he said. \u201cWell you let me worry about what\u2019s fair,\u201d he said. \u201cNow try and get some sleep or you\u2019ll be cranky tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But Joe was cranky the next day. For some reason he felt in a bad mood and couldn\u2019t seem to relax in order to enjoy the fishing. In fact, it all seemed to have become boring to him. \u201cWhen are we going home?\u201d he snapped that afternoon.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I say so,\u201d said Ben mildly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe rolled his eyes in frustration. \u201cHow come?\u201d he said sulkily. \u201cI\u2019m ready to go home now Pa. I\u2019ve had enough of fishing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I haven\u2019t,\u201d replied his father calmly. \u201cHand me the bait please.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe handed his father the tin can full of worms. \u2018Ain\u2019t you sick of this yet?\u201d he asked fretfully. His head was pounding and he felt a headache coming on.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I am,\u201d he snapped irritably. \u201cI wanna go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean that you want to go to town,\u201d said Ben dryly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe glared at his father. \u201cNo,\u201d he insisted. \u201cI just wanna go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cI see,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned on his father. \u201cYou see what?\u201d he snapped. \u2018You always say that you see \u2026 but you never say what!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared at his son. \u201cDon\u2019t you raise your voice to me boy,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry Pa,\u201d said Joe immediately in a contrite voice. \u201cI just can\u2019t see why we can\u2019t go home now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared at the water. \u201cWe\u2019ll go home when I say so,\u201d he said in a low voice. \u201cAnd not before Joseph.\u201d Joe stood up and stomped away from the water angrily while Ben continued to stare into the lake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs this all we\u2019re going to do?\u201d asked Joe in an irritated tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you liked to fish?\u201d replied Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI do,\u201d said Joe. \u201cBut not forever!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s been four days,\u201d said his father calmly. \u201cThat\u2019s not forever.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFeels like it,\u201d muttered the youngster sulkily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you feeling alright?\u201d asked Ben, watching his son massage his temples.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got a headache,\u201d muttered Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you get some sleep then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCause I don\u2019t want to!\u201d his son snapped angrily. \u201cDon\u2019t tell me what to do all the time!\u201d Ben said nothing, but stared at his son for a moment until Joe withdrew his gaze, looking ashamed of himself. \u201cSorry,\u201d he mumbled softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben continued to stoke the fire and finally Joe lay down and rolled himself up into his bedroll, turning away from his father. Ben sat looking at his son\u2019s back, wondering how long they would need to be up here. Joe was definitely showing the effects of the alcohol withdrawing from his body and he knew that his moods could only get worse. Still, being so far from home and town the youngster had no chance of getting a drink and Ben was counting on that and his own determination to get them both through this.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Later that night as Ben was dozing by the fire, he heard a small noise and opened his eyes with a start to see his son\u2019s bedroll across from him empty. He sat up quickly and peered into the darkness beyond the fire. \u201cJoe?\u201d he said softly. \u201cJoseph is that you? Where are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben got up from his bedroll and walked outside where he saw Joe saddling his horse. \u201cWhere are you going?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave a start. \u201cOh Pa,\u201d he said. \u201cI didn\u2019t know you were awake.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cObviously not,\u201d said Ben, his sarcasm not lost on his son. \u201cI asked you where you were going Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe tightened his cinch. \u201cI\u2019m going home,\u201d he said shortly. \u201cI\u2019ve had enough fishing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben put his hand on his son\u2019s shoulder. \u201cYou\u2019re not going anywhere son,\u201d he said firmly. \u201cNow come inside.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shrugged off his father\u2019s touch. \u201cI\u2019m going home,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took hold of the youngster\u2019s sleeve and pulled him back into the house. \u201cYou\u2019re staying here,\u201d he said firmly, pushing him down onto a chair. \u201cNow do as you\u2019re told.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe glared up at his father. \u201cWhy can\u2019t I go home?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause you weren\u2019t going home \u2026. You were going to town,\u201d replied Ben, sitting down on a chair facing opposite his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo I wasn\u2019t!\u201d declared Joe indignantly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes you were. You were sneaking off to town to have a drink. Face it son \u2026. You have a drinking problem.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI do not!\u201d shouted Joe, trying to stand up, but his father pushed him down onto the chair again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes you do,\u201d said Ben patiently. \u201cAnd I aim to help you overcome it Joe \u2026 no matter what it takes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stared at his father for a moment. \u201cThat\u2019s why you brought me up here isn\u2019t it?\u201d he said. \u201cTo get me away from town?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d admitted Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re making too much of this,\u201d said Joe. \u201cI don\u2019t have a problem with drinking Pa \u2026. Honest I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen prove it to me,\u201d replied his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes narrowed. \u201cYou don\u2019t trust me!\u201d he spat out suddenly. \u201cYou don\u2019t trust me at all, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cFrankly Joe \u2026 no I don\u2019t. Not at the moment anyway. You haven\u2019t given me any reason to son. I know in your heart that you know you have a problem \u2026 I\u2019m just trying to force you to face it. You need help.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou keep saying that!\u201d shouted Joe. \u201cI don\u2019t have a problem, so stop saying it!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen prove it to me,\u201d said his father simply. \u201cI hope I\u2019m wrong Joseph \u2026 God knows that I do. Help me to be wrong son.\u201d He looked deeply into his son\u2019s eyes, but Joe averted his gaze from that of his father\u2019s. \u201cJoe?\u201d said Ben gently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLook at me.\u201d Joe reluctantly looked at his father. \u201cYou need to spend some time without drinking to clean out your body. Now it\u2019s going to be hard \u2026 but I\u2019m here to help you son. You can do this \u2026. I know that you can.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nothing I need to do Pa,\u201d said Joe sulkily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cI hope that\u2019s the case Joseph. Just remember that I\u2019m here to help you son. I\u2019ll do whatever it takes. Now go back to sleep. I\u2019ll be sitting up here all night if I have to until you do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sighed dramatically. \u201cYou\u2019re wasting your time,\u201d he said angrily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s my time to waste,\u201d said Ben easily. \u201cNow get some sleep while I put away your horse.\u201d He ignored the dark look that Joe gave him as he stood up and walked towards the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou want some breakfast?\u201d asked Ben as Joe rolled over in his bedroll.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d the youngster replied sulkily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019ll do you good,\u201d suggested his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not hungry!\u201d Joe sat up and gave his father a look that made Ben acutely aware that his son hadn\u2019t gotten over their discussion from last night. \u201cI\u2019m going to the outhouse,\u201d said Joe grumpily as he stood up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben waited and within moments Joe was back at the door, his eyes blazing angrily. \u201cWhere\u2019s my saddle?\u201d he demanded of his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are you looking for it?\u201d asked Ben casually as he took a bite of his breakfast.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not,\u201d snapped Joe. \u201cI just noticed that it was missing.\u201d Ben indicated their two saddles that were sitting in a corner of the small line shack, behind his own bedroll. \u201cWhy did you put them there?\u201d asked Joe testily. \u201cSo that I can\u2019t get to em without you knowing in the middle of the night?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSomething like that,\u201d said his father. \u201cHave some breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe merely glared at him and stomped off again. He came back moments later and sat down on a chair next to his bedroll, crossing his arms over his chest \u2026. looking for all the world like a small child having a tantrum.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you coming fishing with me today?\u201d asked his father as he finished up his breakfast.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSuit yourself,\u201d said Ben easily. He began to clean up his breakfast things and then sat down on a chair and opened a book.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stared at him for a few moments. \u201cAren\u2019t you going fishing?\u201d he asked finally.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot if you\u2019re not,\u201d replied Ben, turning a page.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019re just gonna watch me all day to make sure I don\u2019t leave \u2026 is that it?\u201d spat Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d said Ben calmly. \u201cNow you can go fishing \u2026 or stay here and read a book \u2026 or I brought the chessboard. There\u2019s lots to do \u2026 but whatever you decide to do … we\u2019ll be doing it together \u2026 understand?\u201d Joe opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again as he thought better of it. He lay down on his bedroll again and rolled over to face the wall. \u201cYou really should just try and relax while we\u2019re here Joe,\u201d continued his father. \u201cEnjoy the time we have together.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow can I enjoy it?\u201d muttered Joe sulkily, still looking at the wall. \u201cI\u2019m being kept a prisoner by my own father.\u201d His began to fidget anxiously with his fingers, something that didn\u2019t go unnoticed by Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust try to calm down son,\u201d he said soothingly. Joe said nothing for such a long time that Ben returned to his book and after a while was sure that his son was asleep. When Joe spoke again he gave him quite a start, as he wasn\u2019t expecting it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you going to sit up and guard me every night?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shut his book again. \u201cIf I have to,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI told you that I\u2019ll do whatever it takes to get you through this and I will.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe rolled over to face his father and Ben could see traces of dried tears on his cheeks. His heart went out to the youngster immediately. \u201cPlease let me go home Pa,\u201d Joe said, giving his father one of his best puppy dog looks.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head resolutely. \u201cNo Joseph,\u201d he said firmly. \u201cWe\u2019re staying here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s expression turned to one of anger instantly. \u201cI could get away if I wanted to,\u201d he warned. \u201cYou can\u2019t watch me all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded thoughtfully. \u201cThat\u2019s true. You probably could,\u201d he admitted. \u201cBut I know that you won\u2019t do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave his father a puzzled look. \u201cWhat makes you so sure?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I know you,\u201d replied Ben, bending forward towards the youngster. \u201cDeep down you know that I\u2019m right and you won\u2019t go against me in this.\u201d He reached out to stroke Joe\u2019s hair off his forehead. \u201cI love you Joe. You know that and you\u2019ll do as I want you to \u2026 for your own good.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was silent for a moment as he allowed his father to fondle his hair. Presently he turned away from him again and faced the wall again and Ben opened his book once more and continued to read.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe groaned as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. \u201cSo you\u2019re awake at last,\u2019 said Ben. \u201cSleep well?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d Joe gave his father a sideways glance. \u201cI\u2019ve got a real bad headache though.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cThat\u2019s probably to be expected,\u201d he said. \u201cDrink some water.\u201d He reached over and handed Joe a canteen. \u201cHere you go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe took it and began to drink slowly. \u201cThanks,\u201d he said. After he\u2019d finished he looked at the canteen in his hands as he said softly. \u201cI\u2019m sorry for what I said before Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know you are son. It\u2019s alright,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI feel lousy,\u201d continued Joe. \u201cMaybe we should go home now and I\u2019ll sleep it off.\u201d He looked at his father hopefully, but Ben shook his head. \u201cPlease?\u201d Joe asked. \u201cI promise that \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head again. \u201cNo Joe,\u201d he said quietly. \u201cWe\u2019re staying here son.\u201d Joe\u2019s shoulders slumped and he put down the canteen before lying down and closing his eyes again. Ben\u2019s heart constricted as he watched his son sleeping. It was taking all of his fortitude to maintain his composure through this and he prayed that he\u2019d be able to maintain it for as long as Joe needed him to. How long that would be he didn\u2019t honestly know \u2026 but he prayed that it would end soon.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think I can eat a bit tonight,\u201d said Joe, smiling at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell that\u2019s a good sign,\u201d said Ben happily. \u201cI\u2019m glad to hear that your stomach has settled son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u201cYeah,\u201d he said, reaching for the plate that his father held out to him. \u201cI guess it is.\u201d The two ate in silence for a while in front of the fire, Ben glancing at Joe\u2019s pale face a couple of times. The boy did seem to have a bit more energy this evening, although Ben found it hard to know if it was genuine or put on. Joe seemed to be capable of trying anything to get away from here.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, I\u2019ve decided that I\u2019m not ever going to drink again,\u201d said Joe, looking at his father sideways to gauge his reaction to his statement. \u201cI reckon that\u2019s best, don\u2019t you Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf you think so son,\u201d said Ben. \u201cPersonally I think that might be a very difficult thing to maintain. Perhaps if you just tried to limit your drinking once all this is over.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d asked Joe. \u201cIt is over now. I don\u2019t feel like a drink any more Pa. I\u2019m better.\u201d He smiled at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u201d Ben didn\u2019t comment further. He noticed his son\u2019s hands shaking as he held the plate and Joe\u2019s attempts to stop them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell maybe just one drink now and then mightn\u2019t hurt,\u201d said Joe casually. \u201cJust so I \u2026 as you say \u2026 limit myself.\u201d He smiled at his father again. \u201cI reckon you were right Pa,\u201d he said. \u201cI did have a bit of a problem. I\u2019m glad it\u2019s over now though.\u201d Ben said nothing, but continued to eat. \u201cIt was just me wanting a drink that made me say all them things to you before,\u201d continued Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt won\u2019t happen again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI hope not.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s smile got bigger. \u201cThanks Pa,\u201d he said. \u201cSo are we going home in the morning?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s smile vanished. \u201cWhat do you mean no?\u201d he said incredulously. \u201cDon\u2019t you believe me when I tell you that I\u2019m over it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It hurt Ben to have to tell his son the truth, but he did it anyway. \u201cNo,\u201d he said simply. \u201cI don\u2019t.\u201d He pointed to Joe\u2019s shaking hands. \u201cYou\u2019re shaking Joe,\u201d he said simply.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe immediately put down the plate. \u201cSo?\u201d he said defensively. \u201cI\u2019m just a bit cold, that\u2019s all.\u201d When his father didn\u2019t reply, he scowled. \u201cAre you going to keep me here forever?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot forever,\u201d said Ben. \u201cJust for as long as it takes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sprang to his feet and began to pace up and down the small room, wringing his hands in front of him. \u201cWhat\u2019s it going to take to convince you that I\u2019m telling the truth?\u201d he asked. \u201cWhat\u2019s it going to take Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe \u2026 sit down and eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to eat! I want to go home! You\u2019ve got no right to keep me here!\u201d Joe shouted, waving his hands around.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI have every right,\u201d said Ben calmly. \u201cI\u2019m your father. Now stop shouting at me young man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned on him. \u201cI\u2019m going home!\u201d he shouted. \u201cI don\u2019t care what you say \u2026 I\u2019m going home and you can\u2019t stop me!\u201d He sprang across the room towards his saddle and began to pick it up. Ben threw down his plate and got up, pinning Joe\u2019s arms to his sides and causing him to drop the saddle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow you stop this!\u201d he said, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. \u201cStop this immediately!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet me go!\u201d shouted Joe. \u201cLet me go Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll let you go when you\u2019ve calmed down,\u201d said Ben firmly. \u201cStop it!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stopped struggling against his father. \u201cAlright,\u201d he said angrily. \u201cI\u2019m calm.\u201d Ben let go of him and he turned to face his father. \u201cWhy won\u2019t you believe me?\u2019 he asked. \u201cPlease believe me Pa! I\u2019m telling you the truth.\u201d Ben shook his head and Joe dropped to the floor, crouching into a ball and rocking back and forwards. \u201cI need a drink,\u201d he sobbed into his knees.\u201d Please let me have a drink!\u201d He looked up at his father pleadingly. \u201cJust one drink Pa. I promise I\u2019ll only have one and then I\u2019ll stop.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben knelt down on the floor and gathered his son into his arms. \u201cHold on Joe,\u201d he said softly. \u201cJust hold on son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sobbed in his father\u2019s arms. \u201cPlease Pa,\u201d he whispered. \u201cJust one drink. One drink can\u2019t hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes it can son,\u201d said Ben, rocking his son back and forth. \u201cJust try and relax.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe continued to sob. \u201cPlease,\u201d he murmured over and over again until Ben thought that his head would burst with the very sound of it. \u201cPlease \u2026. Please \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll get through this Joe,\u201d Ben murmured to the boy in his arms. \u201cYou\u2019ll get over it Joe \u2026 I know that you will. I promise you.\u201d He closed his eyes and prayed for the strength that they would both need in the time ahead of them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat on the floor next to Joe\u2019s bedroll and wiped his son\u2019s face with the damp cloth that he had in his hand. \u201cFeeling any better?\u201d he asked, putting the newly washed bowl on the floor beside him. He\u2019d lost count of how many times he\u2019d emptied it now since sun-up, and wondered just how much more his son could take of this. Joe shook his head in response to his father\u2019s question and was silent. \u201cHave some water,\u201d suggested Ben, picking up the canteen next to him. \u201cYou need as much as you can drink to replace the fluids that you\u2019re losing.\u201d He held the canteen to Joe\u2019s mouth and lifted his head so that the youngster could drink it easily. \u201cBetter?\u201d he asked. Joe nodded slightly as he put his head down again on the pillow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was silence for a long time as Joe\u2019s body shook in the bed. Finally, he turned to his father and he gave him a sideways glance. \u201cJust one drink wouldn\u2019t hurt,\u201d he tried again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face crumpled and Ben could see that he was trying to hold his emotions in check and not break down. He gripped himself around the waist and drew his legs up, his face contorted in an expression of anguish. Ben reached for the bowl again and held it under the youngster\u2019s chin, but Joe shook his head. \u201cI don\u2019t need it,\u201d he gasped.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cStomach cramps again?\u201d sympathised his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d he said, flinching. He took several deep breaths until they had passed and then his body relaxed again. He tossed his head to and fro several times on the pillow, breathing shallowly. \u201cI hate you for doing this,\u201d he gasped suddenly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t mean that,\u201d said Ben, his calmness masking his hurt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes I do,\u201d gasped Joe, clutching his stomach again desperately.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben closed his eyes momentarily, knowing that it was the boy\u2019s illness that was talking and not himself. \u201cWell Joe, if that\u2019s the price I have to pay to see you well and whole again, then I\u2019m willing to pay it,\u201d he said calmly. He stared into his son\u2019s eyes and Joe averted his gaze once more from that of his father\u2019s. \u201cYou body is ruling your mind at the moment Joe,\u201d added his father. \u201cYou don\u2019t know what you\u2019re saying.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe began to groan softly and clutched at his stomach again. He lifted his head and threw up into the bowl that Ben held quickly under his chin. He pulled away from his father as Ben wiped his mouth and began to rock back and forwards in the bed. \u201cOh God,\u201d he murmured softly. \u201cOh God.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stroked his son\u2019s hair. \u201cClose your eyes Joe,\u201d he said softly. \u201cTry and get some sleep son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe blinked a couple of times as he opened his eyes and looked up into the concerned eyes of his father. \u201cPa?\u201d he said sleepily. \u201cWhat time is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAlmost noon,\u201d said his father. \u201cHow do you feel?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSleepy,\u201d murmured Joe, blinking again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell that\u2019s obvious,\u201d joked Ben. \u201cYou\u2019ve been sleeping on and off since yesterday afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHave I?\u201d Joe stretched. \u201cMy stomach feels better.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s good,\u201d said Ben. \u201cI\u2019ll fix you some soup then.\u201d He bent over the fire and began stirring something in a pot. \u201cIt will help when you get something in your stomach and can keep it down,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u201cI didn\u2019t know that we brought soup with us,\u201d he said in a weak voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe didn\u2019t,\u201d said Ben. \u201cHop Sing sent some.\u201d He indicated Adam who was sitting in the corner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe frowned. \u201cI didn\u2019t know you were there,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam grinned at him. \u201cI brought you both some clean clothes and some food,\u201d he said. \u201cThought I\u2019d better check on you both seeing as how you\u2019ve been away so long.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d Joe turned his face to the wall, embarrassed that his brother knew what had been going on.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHere you are,\u201d said Ben, bringing over a bowl. \u201cThis will make you feel better. Sit up and drink it.\u201d He helped Joe to a sitting position and propped an extra pillow behind his back before sitting down and smiling at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s good,\u201d said Joe, sipping the hot liquid slowly. \u201cAre you staying?\u201d he asked Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust tonight. I\u2019ll be heading back in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father, but Ben shook his head. \u201cWe\u2019ll be here for a bit longer,\u201d the man said simply. Joe nodded, too tired to argue this time. In fact, to his surprise he didn\u2019t even feel like arguing. All he wanted to do was sleep and for the first time he didn\u2019t even feel like a drink. He gave his father a sudden smile which Ben returned. \u201cOK,\u201d he said. \u201cWhatever you think Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded and patted his son on the shoulder. \u201cGood boy,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI guess Adam thought I was stupid over all of this,\u201d said Joe two days later when he and his father were sitting next to the lake with their fishing lines dangling. He gave his father an embarrassed look.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot particularly,\u201d answered Ben and then grinned at his son. \u201cNot any more than usual anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe giggled and it warmed Ben\u2019s heart to hear it \u2026 a sound he hadn\u2019t heard in weeks. \u201cYou know that your brother cares about you,\u201d he continued. \u201cWe all do.\u201d He looked at the youngster beside him warmly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked embarrassed. \u201cI know Pa,\u201d he said. \u201cI \u2026 I want to say something to you.\u201d Ben waited. \u201cI know how hard these \u2026 well \u2026. These past few days musta been for you \u2026.\u201d Ben wondered if his son had an inkling of the pain that he\u2019d been through as he\u2019d listened to the boy\u2019s angry outbursts against his father. \u201c \u2026 and \u2026. Well \u2026 I know this sounds kinda lame \u2026\u201d Joe looked at his father beseechingly. \u201cI\u2019m really sorry,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m sorry I made all this happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know you are son,\u201d said Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd \u2026\u201d Joe liked his lips. \u201cI\u2019m sorry for all the things I said to you.\u201d His eyes filled with tears. \u201cI don\u2019t hate you Pa. I don\u2019t know why I said that. Honest I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know that,\u201d said Ben. \u201cI never for one moment thought that you did.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t?\u201d Joe wiped his eyes on his sleeve.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not. You couldn\u2019t hate me even if you tried,\u201d Ben assured his son. \u201cThat wasn\u2019t you talking Joe. The drink had affected you and you didn\u2019t know what you were saying.\u201d He reached over and hugged his son to him, rejoicing in the fact that the boy didn\u2019t pull away as he had so many times in the past few days.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been so stupid,\u201d said Joe, when they\u2019d parted. \u201cI\u2019ll never myself get to that state again Pa. You were right \u2026. About everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you mean that Joe,\u201d said Ben, giving his son a long intense look. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing wrong with having a drink or two \u2026 the thing is that as with everything you can\u2019t let if rule your life in the way you have in the past.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe hung his head. \u201cI know,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll be sensible about it from now on \u2026 I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSee that you are,\u201d said Ben sternly. \u201cI care too much about you to allow you to do that to yourself son. Look at me.\u201d Joe looked up. \u201cI want to remember something Joseph,\u201d his father said seriously. \u201cEveryone has something if life that is their weak spot and drinking could be yours. You\u2019ll always have to be aware of that son. This could happen to you again if you\u2019re not careful.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be careful Pa,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben patted him on the shoulder. \u201cI know you will Joe,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m proud of you for what you\u2019ve done here son and I know that you\u2019ll try not to ever let it happen again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI will Pa,\u201d said Joe earnestly. \u201cI\u2019ll make you proud of me \u2026 I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m already proud of you son,\u201d said his father. \u201cPromise me that you\u2019ll try to make you proud of yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI will Pa,\u201d said Joe, tears standing in his eyes. \u201cI will.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI will Pa,\u201d Joe whispered as he gazed into his glass. He thought about what he\u2019d put his father and brothers through in those days and suddenly felt very ashamed of himself. It was true that he\u2019d been young and foolish, but it was still no excuse. At the time, he\u2019d looked no further than the immediate future, thinking as most young people did that he could overcome anything. He\u2019d felt himself invincible and able to cope with anything that the effects of drinking might make him do.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His father had been right when he said that drinking might be Joe\u2019s weakness in life. Over the years he\u2019d found it hard to keep his distance from letting alcohol get a grip over him at various times. There\u2019d been the time when he\u2019d lost his sight and had turned to the bottle before Miss Dobbs had talked some sense into him. There was the terrible time when Hoss \u2026.. Joe shook his head, not allowing his thoughts to even go down that painful track of thought \u2026 and then when Alice had died he had thought that he\u2019d finally given in to it. Thank God that Pa had been there each time to draw him back from the edge again, for he truly didn\u2019t know that he would have been able to make it by himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at the half empty glass in his hand and put it down. He stared at it for a moment and then picked up his hat and put it on, nodding at the bartender as he walked to the swinging doors. He untied Cochise from the hitching rail outside and then hesitated as he stared up the street in the direction that the wagon had gone with the body of Tom Atkins. For a moment he visualised the gravedigger wiping his hands as he turned from the freshly filled-in grave and walking away, leaving the new grave on the lonely cemetery hilltop overlooking the town.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shuddered and recalled a phrase he\u2019d heard so many times before. \u201cThere but for the grace of God go I,\u201d he whispered softly, suddenly so grateful for his father and brothers who had always stood by him and never given up on him, no matter how difficult he\u2019d been over the years and what problems he\u2019d caused them. He guessed that it was true that everyone had their weaknesses in life \u2026. at least that was how his father had explained it to him. The way to overcome them was to be aware of them and try not to let them overcome you. Joe knew that he\u2019d always have to be aware of not drinking too much and to fight his personal demon from within with all the strength that he had.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He thanked God that he\u2019d sent Ben Cartwright to be his father to help him do it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: Events force a son to look back on a traumatic time in his life; acknowledging how thankful his is for his family.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 K+\u00a0 (11,205 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":9765,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,1008,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-family","category-hurtcomfort","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1008-id","wpcat-41-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2553,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/joe-pa.jpg?fit=640%2C514&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4636,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=4636","url_meta":{"origin":11357,"position":0},"title":"Hate and Fear (by Rona)","author":"Rona","date":"October 2, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 A local man marries an Indian girl, and stirs up a racial backlash, which encompasses the Cartwrights, who offer friendship. 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