Summary: WHI for The First Born and WHN for The Last Viking. \u00a0 \u00a0Can Hoss protect his younger brother when Clay Stafford reveals he’s Marie’s first born?<\/p>\n
Rating: K\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Word Count: \u00a08114<\/p>\n
Family Ties<\/strong><\/p>\n Family ain\u2019t all it\u2019s cracked up to be.\u00a0 Especially when breakfast is a sulky affair.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s usually as noisy as a firecracker, telling us what he\u2019d been up to the night before without so much as giving anyone else a chance to get a word in.\u00a0 He don\u2019t wait for anyone\u2019s food to settle or for coffee to perk up their ears, he just yammers on.\u00a0 But this<\/em> morning is different.<\/p>\n A new hand by the name of Clay Stafford killed a miner over a game of cards last night.\u00a0 The miner accused him of cheating and, instead of proving he didn\u2019t, Clay just up and shot the man.\u00a0 Then, cool as you please, he scooped up the money on the table.<\/p>\n Sheriff had no choice but to arrest him.\u00a0 Pa and Joe went along to the jail while I rode herd on the rest of the hands to keep the peace.\u00a0 Miners spoil for a fight after a long day of working underground, probably because the owner ain\u2019t around to punch in the jaw.\u00a0 One wrong look from one of our hands was all it would\u2019ve took to set off a tinderbox.\u00a0 It would\u2019ve been better if Clay was a thief\u2014Pa would\u2019ve docked his pay to cover what was missing from the table and that miner would still be alive.<\/p>\n When Pa and Joe came back to the saloon, Pa said he\u2019d agreed to pay Clay off in the morning\u2014this<\/em> morning\u2014and encourage him to look for work elsewhere in the territory.\u00a0 Fine by me.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t like it one bit but wouldn\u2019t say why he took Clay\u2019s side.\u00a0 Maybe he figured he\u2019d a done the same in Clay\u2019s place but I know that ain\u2019t true.\u00a0 Joe would\u2019ve used his fists, not his gun, and after spending his anger he\u2019d have soothed ruffled feathers by buying a round of whiskey before playing another hand.<\/p>\n \u201cYou made the right decision, Pa,\u201d says Adam.\u00a0 \u201cWe can\u2019t have the hands watching their backs instead of the cattle the rest of roundup.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam always sees the practical side of things.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t agree,\u201d says Joe.\u00a0 \u201cClay\u2019s earned his place here.\u00a0 And he\u2019s worked harder than anyone else.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph,\u201d says Pa.\u00a0 It\u2019s a sure bet Pa\u2019s gettin\u2019 his dander up when he uses Joe\u2019s full name.<\/p>\n Joe goes back to shoving food around his plate while Pa and Adam talk assignments.\u00a0 I pour another cup of coffee and hope Joe won\u2019t pout and take his temper out on everyone.<\/p>\n The sound of a horse carries in from the yard and Joe jumps up so fast my coffee splashes onto the tablecloth.\u00a0 Hop Sing ain\u2019t gonna like that one bit.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s in a hurry,\u201d says Adam.\u00a0 He\u2019s rubbing his mouth like his fork stabbed his lip.<\/p>\n \u201cPass me them flapjacks,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n \u201cLeave some for your brother,\u201d says Pa.<\/p>\n I only take one off the stack and drop it on my plate.\u00a0 \u201cHe shouldn\u2019t have left if he wants \u2018em.\u201d<\/p>\n Shouts are followed by the door opening so hard it slams against the wall.\u00a0 Joe trots over, looking as excited as a kid on Christmas morning.\u00a0 Clay follows in his wake but he don\u2019t look near as happy.<\/p>\n \u201cClay is . . . he\u2019s . . . .\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s voice trails off and he looks to Clay before fixing Pa with a charming smile that brings to mind his ma.\u00a0 \u201cClay\u2019s my brother.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa takes the news mighty calm, wiping his mouth with his napkin before clearing his throat.\u00a0 Me?\u00a0 I nearly choke on flapjack.\u00a0 Adam just catches my eye and raises an eyebrow before he turns around to get a better look at our brother.\u00a0 Or is it brothers?<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, Adam\u2014would you please excuse us?\u201d Pa asks.<\/p>\n \u201cWait a second,\u201d I say.\u00a0 \u201cWe have as much right as Joe to hear Clay\u2019s story.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa fixes me with one of those looks that says I ain\u2019t too old, or too big, for a necessary talk.\u00a0 Adam slaps me upside the arm and jerks his head towards the door.\u00a0 Fine.\u00a0 I toss my napkin on the table and follow Adam out to the porch.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t like being banished when there\u2019s a family discussion to be had.\u00a0 Especially where new family is concerned.\u00a0 A new brother, technically Joe\u2019s half-brother through his mother, is in there spinning a yarn or telling a tale Pa already knows.\u00a0 I think about prying open the porch window but I know Adam won\u2019t allow me to eavesdrop.\u00a0 As far as Adam is concerned, this is none of our affair and something for Pa, and Joe, to puzzle out.<\/p>\n All I can do is pace back and forth like a caged lion and try to puzzle out why Clay didn\u2019t tell Joe, or us, his secret when he hired on. \u00a0Maybe that\u2019s why he was such a beaver for work, spending more time in the saddle than everyone else, offering to run errands when needed, but I\u2019d figured he was just trying to establish his place in the pecking order.\u00a0 Now, my gut says he only sprang the news because he\u2019s worn out his welcome and is sure Joe will plead his case so Pa will keep him on.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re gonna wear a hole in your boots,\u201d Adam mutters as I make another pass.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s family. I don\u2019t like to be left outside.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow do you know it\u2019s about family?\u201d Adam asks.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen a brother shows up from nowhere it ain\u2019t family?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe comes out of the house looking like his favorite toy has been taken away.\u00a0 \u201cPa wants to talk to Clay alone.\u201d<\/p>\n At least Adam and me ain\u2019t the only ones left out.<\/p>\n \u201cDid my mother ever mention another son?\u201d Joe asks.<\/p>\n Adam and I exchange a look.\u00a0 I only know what I overheard as a youngster, and that wasn\u2019t too awful much.<\/p>\n \u201cMarie was a widow when Pa met her in New Orleans,\u201d says Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cDid Pa not want her son?\u00a0 Is that why she left him behind?\u201d asks Joe.<\/p>\n The silence stretches before Adam says, \u201cShe\u2019d had a baby, but it died.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shakes his head and points at the door.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re callin\u2019 Clay a liar?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo one\u2019s calling anyone anything,\u201d says Adam.\u00a0 He uses that tone that always gets Joe\u2019s dander up. \u00a0Then he says, \u201cMarie would have lied about a lot of things to get away from New Orleans but she wouldn\u2019t have lied about a baby.\u201d<\/p>\n Oh, Lordy\u2014now Adam\u2019s done it.\u00a0 Little Joe\u2019s temper is rising like the creek when the snow melts.\u00a0 Pa don\u2019t need us fightin\u2019 amongst ourselves.<\/p>\n I try keeping the peace.\u00a0 \u201cWhat Adam means is Ma wasn\u2019t happy with the hand life dealt her.\u00a0 When Pa married her she got the chance to start over.\u00a0 If she\u2019d had a little boy, you could bet a year\u2019s pay she would\u2019ve fought tooth and nail to bring him with her.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turns his temper on me.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t believe Clay either?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNow, Joe, it\u2019s not that me and Adam are sayin\u2019 his story ain\u2019t<\/em> true; we\u2019re just sayin\u2019 this is gonna take some getting used to.\u201d<\/p>\n We hear the door latch and Clay comes out walking as slow as an old timer.\u00a0 \u201cYour pa asked me to move my things into the house,\u201d he says.\u00a0 He puts his saddlebags over his shoulder and goes back in.<\/p>\n Pa believes him?\u00a0 I don\u2019t much care for this.\u00a0 We\u2019re gonna have to keep an eye on Little Joe\u2014I sure don\u2019t want him taken in by a lie.\u00a0 Trouble follows that boy like a shadow.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, the chores aren\u2019t going to get done on their own,\u201d says Adam.\u00a0 He rises but doesn\u2019t walk away from us.<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s anger has fizzled out and he shoves his hands into his back pockets.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll have to keep Clay away from town.\u00a0 The miners will tear him apart if they get their hands on him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s a grown man,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n Joe glares daggers at me and says, \u201cWe stick together, protect each other.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sure Clay can take care of himself,\u201d says Adam as he takes the reins of Clay\u2019s horse and leads it to the barn.<\/p>\n Ain\u2019t no sense hanging around to argue with Joe so I head for the bunkhouse to make sure the hands are ready to get back to work tomorrow.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Since we have the day off from roundup, we all linger around the house.\u00a0 Joe perks up once Clay\u2019s settled in and the two of \u2018em ride off to the lake.\u00a0 I want to join \u2018em but Adam holds me back, saying Joe\u2019s probably gonna take Clay out to Ma\u2019s grave.<\/p>\n There\u2019s plenty of chores that need doing but I sit at Pa\u2019s desk and study Ma\u2019s picture.\u00a0 When I was a boy, I\u2019d heard her and Pa talk of a baby that died back in New Orleans.\u00a0 I figure that\u2019s why Joe was spoiled rotten from the moment he came into the world.\u00a0 Sure, Adam and I had a hand in giving Joe whatever he wanted but we also put him in his place when he got too big for his britches.<\/p>\n Joe don\u2019t remember much about Ma, so Clay\u2019ll have to ask Adam, Pa, or even me if he really wants to know what she was like.\u00a0 Pa says she was like having spring in the house year-round but she wasn\u2019t all wildflowers and warm sun.\u00a0 She had a temper to rival Pa\u2019s, and when she made up her mind about something, nobody could persuade her different.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s his mother\u2019s son, no doubt about it.<\/p>\n Heavy footsteps on the stairs bring me back to the present and I look up to see Pa.\u00a0 He comes over and takes the gold frame from me.\u00a0 One side of his mouth turns up like a half-smile as he puts it back in its place beside my mother\u2019s picture.<\/p>\n \u201cYou believe him?\u201d I ask.<\/p>\n Pa sits on a corner of the desk like Adam tends to do.\u00a0 \u201cThere are too many facts to his story, things he couldn\u2019t have made up.\u201d\u00a0 He sighs like a man carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll have to give him a chance.\u00a0 For Joe\u2019s sake.\u00a0 And hers.\u201d\u00a0 He touches Ma\u2019s picture as he says that.<\/p>\n I leave him to his thoughts, letting the door latch click into place behind me.\u00a0 As I settle into one of the porch chairs, Joe and Clay round the barn.\u00a0 They\u2019re laughing as they tie their horses to the hitching post.<\/p>\n \u201cThat lake\u2019s quite a sight,\u201d Clay says as he takes a seat at the table and leans back.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u201d\u00a0 Can\u2019t argue with that.<\/p>\n \u201cI showed him our best fishing hole,\u201d Joe says, a big smile splittin\u2019 his face.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe we can go next time we have a day off.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPoker\u2019s more to my taste,\u201d says Clay.<\/p>\n Joe gets into enough scrapes playin\u2019 cards in town.\u00a0 If Clay sticks around, him and Joe will likely be regulars in Roy\u2019s jail.\u00a0 Pa won\u2019t like that one bit.<\/p>\n \u201cThose miners will have to cool off before we can get into a game,\u201d says Joe.<\/p>\n Pa pokes his head out the door and tells us to get cleaned up for supper.\u00a0 Joe and Clay head off to the wash house but I go inside for an apple to whet my appetite.<\/p>\n Clay does most of the talking while we eat.\u00a0 He says his father\u2019s folks raised him and they told him Ma died from the fever.\u00a0 What he don\u2019t say is when he left New Orleans or why he went back; he says when he found out Ma wasn\u2019t buried there, he sent out some feelers for information.\u00a0 A couple of folks told him about Pa fightin\u2019 a duel to defend her honor and her marryin\u2019 him after.\u00a0 He showed us a yellowed newspaper clipping that said she was married and leaving for a Western ranch called The Ponderosa.\u00a0 That explains how he found out about us but it don\u2019t explain why he\u2019s really here.<\/p>\n Joe presses Clay for stories, but Clay keeps steering the talk back to the Ponderosa.\u00a0 He talks some about riverboat life and workin\u2019 a ranch in Oregon Territory but not much else.\u00a0 Seems like he don\u2019t want us to know too awful much.\u00a0 Joe yammers on like a squawkin\u2019 jaybird; might as well give Clay the combination to Pa\u2019s safe while he\u2019s at it.<\/p>\n Pa don\u2019t press Clay for too many details but he keeps lookin\u2019 between Clay and Joe.\u00a0 Maybe he\u2019s trying to convince himself that Clay favors Ma enough to be Joe\u2019s brother.\u00a0 Half-brother.\u00a0 But it don\u2019t seem the same as me and Adam or even Joe and me bein\u2019 half-brothers, maybe because we were raised without the half part.<\/p>\n After supper, Adam and I head for the barn to see to the horses.\u00a0 I run the curry comb over Chubb in short, choppy strokes, thinking about Joe making a case for Clay stayin\u2019 on even though Pa had agreed to send him on his way.\u00a0 For all we know Clay heard some talk and put together a story he knew Joe would swallow hook, line, and sinker.\u00a0 Clay\u2019d have to be mighty crafty to get one over on Pa, though.<\/p>\n If Adam don\u2019t stop interrupting my train of thought I\u2019m gonna have to pound him.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you have to hum that dadblasted song?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Early One Morning<\/em> is a pleasant enough tune but now it\u2019s downright irritating.<\/p>\n Adam clears his throat, kind of his way of apologizing.\u00a0 \u201cOut with it.\u201d<\/p>\n I stop with the currying and rest my arms on Chubb\u2019s back.\u00a0 My horse don\u2019t seem to care for it and he shifts his weight; I leave him be and lean against the wall instead.\u00a0 \u201cIt just don\u2019t seem right.\u00a0 A brother can\u2019t just appear without us or Pa knowing about him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMarie, and Pa, believed her son was dead,\u201d Adam says.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThere was no reason for either one to think otherwise.\u201d<\/p>\n That ain\u2019t good enough.\u00a0 \u201cClay said he didn\u2019t ever care about his mother\u2014our mother\u2014until he\u2019d been away from New Orleans for some time.\u00a0 Think he figures to claim an inheritance?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam makes a noise that sounds like he don\u2019t agree with that question.<\/p>\n We go back to working.\u00a0 Now I kind of wish Adam was humming that stupid song.<\/p>\n I break the silence.\u00a0 \u201cHe ain\u2019t asked once what Ma was like.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLet him get used to the idea of having a family.\u201d\u00a0 Adam forks hay for a few moments.\u00a0 \u201cGive him some time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow much time?\u00a0 Days?\u00a0 A couple a months?\u00a0 Maybe a year or two?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stops and leans against the pitchfork.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s eating you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy\u2019s he here?\u201d\u00a0 I jerk a thumb in the direction of the house.\u00a0 \u201cDid he find out about the Ponderosa and set his hopes on getting money?\u00a0 He don\u2019t strike me as the type to hold onto a dollar, even if it\u2019s pinned to his shirt.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looks down to hide his smile.\u00a0 \u201cThat sounds an awful lot like our younger brother.\u201d<\/p>\n I shake my head because that don\u2019t prove anything.\u00a0 Lots of people let money slip through their fingers.\u00a0 That don\u2019t make all of \u2018em kin to us.<\/p>\n Adam asks, \u201cRemember how excited you were when Uncle Gunnar was here a couple of years ago?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat was different.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n I don\u2019t like the way he asks that.\u00a0 \u201cIt just was.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam buries the head of the pitchfork in a stack of hay and leans against a support post.\u00a0 He tucks his thumbs into his belt like he always does when thinkin\u2019 and he studies me like I\u2019m a fish he\u2019s gonna clean for supper.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s really bothering you?\u201d he finally asks.<\/p>\n I set the curry comb back in its place and give Chubb a gentle pat on the rump.\u00a0 Then I sit on a nearby bale of hay.\u00a0 After picking at the corner of the bale for a few minutes, I pull out a piece of hay and put it between my teeth.\u00a0 While I think on what\u2019s got my hackles up I watch a dung beetle roll its prize across the floor.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s as if Joe\u2019s got a shiny new marble he wants to show off.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nods like he understands.\u00a0 He crosses one foot over the other and settles in for a long talk.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen your shiny new marble was here you wanted to spend as much time with him as you could.\u00a0 You asked Uncle Gunnar to tell you stories about Sweden, Illinois, his travels.\u00a0 He told you a few things about your ma you hadn\u2019t heard from Pa or me, but he didn\u2019t tell you much more.”\u00a0 Adam shrugs one shoulder.\u00a0 “Maybe that\u2019s all Clay wants\u2014to know a thing or two about Marie.\u00a0 And us.\u201d<\/p>\n I feel like a caged lion again and I pace the length of the barn a couple of times before facing Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u00a0 He could have asked around New Orleans if he\u2019d wanted to know anything about Ma.\u00a0 How come he didn\u2019t ask those folks who raised him?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugs again, this time it\u2019s both shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe Clay heard a few things in New Orleans but believes they were lies.\u201d Adam blows out his cheeks as if he\u2019s got a few secrets to unload, too.\u00a0 \u201cIf I hadn\u2019t gone back East for college I might not have learned many of the things I know about my mother, things her father told me.\u201d\u00a0 He raises an eyebrow.\u00a0 \u201cCan you blame Clay for wanting to put his past to rest?\u00a0 Maybe he hoped to find Marie alive and well and hear her side of the story.\u201d<\/p>\n I slap my hand against my leg and pace again.\u00a0 \u201cYou already knew the truth about your mother.\u00a0 It\u2019s not as if Pa hadn\u2019t told you anything about her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy point is, I\u2019d always wanted to know more and how I was like her,\u201d says Adam.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cClay has had to speculate about the kind of person Marie was and maybe he\u2019s wondered if there\u2019s any of her in him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s assuming he is<\/em> her boy,\u201d I point out.<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe he hopes to see some of himself, and Marie, in Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n I stop in front of Adam, annoyed with how calm he is about all this.\u00a0 I wanna hit something and for a second I think Adam\u2019ll do.\u00a0 But I hold back. \u00a0\u201cClay ain\u2019t<\/em> the same as Joe.\u00a0 Only thing they might<\/em> have in common is the same mother.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHere\u2019s something for you to think about,\u201d says Adam.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe Clay wants to know what it\u2019s like having blood family, see if that makes a difference.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat don\u2019t make sense.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam unhooks a thumb from his belt and scratches behind his ear.\u00a0 He\u2019s got one of those minds that tries to see both sides of an argument but I think he\u2019s having a hard time now.\u00a0 \u201cEven though Marie died when he was a boy, Joe\u2019s had us and Pa his whole life.\u00a0 Clay didn\u2019t say when he found out it\u2019d been his father\u2019s folks who took him from Marie.\u00a0 Why wouldn\u2019t he want to know what it\u2019s like to have family who want him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen why\u2019d he sign on as a regular hand?\u00a0 How come he didn\u2019t tell us right away?\u201d \u00a0I can be logical, too.<\/p>\n Adam shakes his head like flies are buzzing around inside of it.\u00a0 \u201cPut yourself in his position.\u00a0 Wouldn\u2019t you<\/em> want to take your time, check the lay of the land, see if you\u2019d be welcome?\u00a0 You ought to give Clay the benefit of the doubt, not be so suspicious.\u201d<\/p>\n Now I know why Adam don\u2019t understand and I feel my temper startin\u2019 to rise.\u00a0 I still want to hit something, or someone, but I just poke my big brother\u2019s chest instead.\u00a0 \u201cI thought my Uncle Gunnar was an honest, upright man because<\/em> he was my mother\u2019s brother.\u00a0 You weren\u2019t there when Carrie came runnin\u2019 through the woods, scared for her life, \u2018cause she thought Little Joe was dead.\u00a0 I nearly killed my own kin right then and there because everything I\u2019d dreamed Gunnar to be wasn\u2019t true.\u00a0 I won\u2019t have Clay hurtin\u2019 Joe like Gunnar did me.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam wipes a hand over his face and steps to the side, just out of my reach.\u00a0 \u201cGunnar didn\u2019t hurt Joe. Or you.\u00a0 Besides, people never live up to our expectations.\u201d<\/p>\n Can\u2019t argue with that.\u00a0 I did put Gunnar on a pedestal because we shared blood.<\/p>\n Adam heads out but stops in the doorway.\u00a0 \u201cTell you what, I\u2019ll encourage Pa to send a telegram to Judge Wharton down in New Orleans.\u00a0 If Clay\u2019s story checks out, will that satisfy you?\u201d<\/p>\n I rub my palms together and nod.\u00a0 \u201cIf Clay\u2019s story checks out I\u2019ll accept him. For Joe\u2019s sake.\u00a0 I ain\u2019t sayin\u2019 I\u2019ll trust him more than a rattler but I won\u2019t ride him too hard.\u201d<\/p>\n When the barn darkens with the fading light I head to the house.\u00a0 I try to read as Joe and Clay pass the time in a game of checkers but I keep peeping over the top of my book to see if Joe\u2019s up to his usual tricks.\u00a0 If me and him were playing I know my little brother would be cheating, sneaking the pieces I\u2019d captured into his palm, then setting them on my side of the board like they\u2019d been there the whole time.\u00a0 Most times I catch his tricks and he just laughs as he puts his piece back in my pile, where it belongs.\u00a0 I hate to admit I\u2019m more than a mite disappointed that Joe and Clay pass the time in an honest game.<\/p>\n \u201cHow about I play the winner?\u201d I ask.\u00a0 They look at me as if I\u2019ve grown a second head.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s time you boys got to bed,\u201d Pa says.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s back to work tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n Clay wishes us all goodnight before heading off to his room.\u00a0 Joe watches him with a longing in his eyes that roils my stomach. \u00a0After Joe heads upstairs I give Adam a look to remind him of his promise to give our concerns to Pa.\u00a0 Instead, he goes on up.<\/p>\n \u201cSomething wrong?\u201d Pa asks me.<\/p>\n I want to tell him I fear Clay is up to no good, that he\u2019ll lead Joe into some kind of trouble that\u2019ll just get him hurt.\u00a0 But I just shake my head and tell Pa goodnight.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s door opens while I\u2019m settling into bed and I know he\u2019s gonna have that talk with Pa.\u00a0 I try counting steers but sleep won\u2019t come.\u00a0 After a while Adam opens my door and says, \u201cHe\u2019ll do it.\u201d<\/p>\n Once we know the truth maybe we\u2019ll know why Clay\u2019s really here.\u00a0 The breeze flutters the curtain and I\u2019d swear I hear Ma\u2019s voice whispering to look out for her son.\u00a0 She don\u2019t have to worry\u2014I\u2019ll keep a close eye on him.\u00a0 And Clay, too.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n In the meantime, we settle back into a routine of hunting strays and branding cattle.\u00a0 I keep Clay at arm\u2019s length, treating him more like a distant cousin than a brother.\u00a0 Sometimes, when Adam and I tease Little Joe, I notice Clay gets a wistful look on his face, like he wishes he\u2019d had older brothers picking on him.<\/p>\n The hero-worship in Joe\u2019s eye gnaws in my craw when Clay tells stories of fortunes won and lost in high stakes card games on riverboats or battles fought down in Mexico. \u00a0Joe eats up every word like a puppy handed dinner scraps from the table.\u00a0 Every so often I feel a pang of guilt for wishing Joe would get sick from those scraps and everything would go back to the way it\u2019d been when Clay was just another hired hand.\u00a0 But then I think on my own happiness during Gunnar\u2019s visit and the jealousy eases up a bit.\u00a0\u00a0 That don\u2019t stop me wishing Joe\u2019s shiny new marble ends up at the bottom of the privy, though.<\/p>\n In every story, Clay paints himself in the best light\u2014always the man Lady Luck smiles on, never the man she betrays with false promises.\u00a0 Well, I don\u2019t believe most of it.\u00a0 And neither does Pa.\u00a0 But Pa says to leave Joe alone so he can get to know his brother.\u00a0 So I do.\u00a0 But I stay close enough to pull Joe away from the fires of temptation in case the flames lick a mite too close.<\/p>\n When we\u2019re sitting around the campfire one evening, Pa says someone has to head into town for supplies.\u00a0 I say I\u2019ll go, I\u2019m rarin\u2019 to get away from the stink of cattle for a few hours.<\/p>\n But things don\u2019t work out in my favor.\u00a0 Morning finds steers tangled up in brush and none of us can be spared to run to town.\u00a0 When I realize Clay\u2019s nowhere to be found I ask around and one of the hands says he heard Clay say he was going after the supplies.\u00a0 Joe saddles his horse faster than a deer outrunning a wolf pack and is out of sight before Pa can stop him.\u00a0 Best we can hope for is Clay will end up in one of Roy Coffee\u2019s jail cells for a few days instead of pounded into a bloody mess by miners bent on vengeance.<\/p>\n We work through the rest of the day and neither Joe nor Clay is back by nightfall.\u00a0 Pa looks around every time he hears a horse whicker and he settles into disappointment when no one rides into camp.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know how Little Joe is,\u201d I say, tryin\u2019 to lighten Pa\u2019s mood.\u00a0 \u201cHe so much as sees a pretty gal he practically forgets his own name.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa snorts and refills his cup with hot coffee.<\/p>\n \u201cI bet they\u2019re holed up at the house, enjoying soft beds while we shiver in our blankets,\u201d says Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re probably right,\u201d says Pa as he empties his cup in the fire.<\/p>\n The fire\u2019s hiss brings to mind the steam whistle that announces the shift change at the mines.\u00a0 For Pa\u2019s sake, I hope Little Joe is safe and sound at home.<\/p>\n I give my goodnights to the hands and head for my own bedroll.\u00a0 As I settle into my blanket I think of Uncle Gunnar.\u00a0 I\u2019d asked him to stay on with us but he\u2019d said he had places to travel to.\u00a0 I suppose I would have wanted to go with him if I\u2019d been as young as Little Joe, ready to seek adventure with kinfolk I hardly knew.<\/p>\n It has to be well after midnight when I\u2019m awakened by loud singing and a hollered, drawn out \u201cRoseeeeta,\u201d with a long, rolled \u201cr.\u201d\u00a0 Little Joe and Clay are back and, by the sound of it, well in their cups. \u00a0\u00a0Pa yells at them to quiet down and get to sleep.\u00a0 I sure hope they\u2019re ready for a long, hard day tomorrow.<\/p>\n In the morning, Joe looks the worse for wear but Clay\u2019s rarin\u2019 to go.\u00a0 As Adam fills up a plate, Clay says he and Joe stopped to share a jug of pulque.\u00a0 Joe ain\u2019t exactly a lightweight when it comes to liquor but I don\u2019t know a single man who can be as perky as a ground squirrel after drinking most of the night.\u00a0 I take that back\u2014Clay\u2019s mighty spry this morning, but he\u2019s likely had practice drinkin\u2019 pulque down in Mexico.<\/p>\n Joe splashes down by the river like a duck gettin\u2019 its feathers clean. I load up a plate with fatback and beans and settle down next to Adam and prepare to enjoy the lecture I know Pa will deliver.<\/p>\n Joe staggers up looking as sick as a man with food poisoning.\u00a0 He gets a cup of coffee and gingerly sits down on an upturned crate, as if he\u2019s afraid he\u2019ll shatter like a vase if he moves too fast.<\/p>\n \u201cAfter a night of chewing the fat, there\u2019s nothing like a big breakfast to get you back in action,\u201d says Clay.\u00a0 He almost sounds like family.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d I say.\u00a0 \u201cSpeaking of fat, I\u2019m gonna have me some more of that fatback.\u00a0 Really ain\u2019t nothin\u2019 quite like some good ol\u2019 salt sowbelly.\u00a0 Right, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Little brother turns about as green as his jacket while Adam hides his smile in the ladle.\u00a0 Joe better eat and get his strength up\u2014he\u2019s gonna need it when Pa gets wound up about the evils of drunkenness.<\/p>\n Adam tosses the ladle into the water bucket with a clang that might just raise the dead.\u00a0 Or turn Joe\u2019s stomach inside out.\u00a0 Adam pretends he\u2019s concerned as he asks Joe if something\u2019s wrong.<\/p>\n Joe claims he\u2019s rarin\u2019 to get to work.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have to find the orneriest steer for him to tackle.\u00a0 Won\u2019t be nothing as fun to watch as Joe and a steer in a tug o\u2019 war.<\/p>\n \u201cToo bad we drank all that pulque,\u201d says Clay.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019d like it.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ve had tequila but don\u2019t believe pulque would suit my taste.<\/p>\n \u201cNow me, I personally prefer a great big glass of hot whiskey, about a hundred proof,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n Joe lurches over to the barrel I\u2019d sat on before I get another helping of fatback.\u00a0 He don\u2019t even look fit to button a shirt.\u00a0 It\u2019s a shame Pa\u2019s missin\u2019 all the fun.<\/p>\n \u201cGuess we\u2019re just unlucky,\u201d says Adam to no one in particular, but Clay and I both laugh.<\/p>\n Pa finally comes around the side of the wagon and tells us all to get to work.\u00a0 Guess I won\u2019t get to hear that lecture after all.\u00a0 But he does stop to get a good look at Joe.\u00a0 And he uses Joe\u2019s full name.\u00a0 I bet Pa\u2019s gonna wind up for a long talk.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve never seen you look better,\u201d he says to Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I\u2019m feelin\u2019 real good, too,\u201d says Joe.\u00a0 He sounds about as convincing as me trying to spin a lie to Pa.<\/p>\n Pa slaps Joe, hard, on the back as he says, \u201cWe\u2019ve got a lot of work to do today.\u201d<\/p>\n Clay steps out from beside the wagon and Pa notices him for the first time this morning.\u00a0 Pa don\u2019t look too pleased.\u00a0 Maybe he\u2019ll give both of \u2018em a stern talk.<\/p>\n \u201cYou boys had quite a drink last night,\u201d says Pa.\u00a0 Now that he sees the kind of influence Clay has on Joe, Pa might just give Clay his wages and send him off the Ponderosa to find work elsewhere.\u00a0 That\u2019d suit me just fine.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I guess we over-did it,\u201d says Clay.\u00a0 At least he owns up to it and isn\u2019t tryin\u2019 to make any excuses.\u00a0 He fetches his horse and gets down to business.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I think he\u2019ll live,\u201d Pa says with a fond look at Joe before telling us he has to go back to the ranch.<\/p>\n I guess Joe ain\u2019t gonna get that lecture after all.<\/p>\n Adam says, \u201cThat Clay sure is a likeable fellah.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYep, sure is,\u201d I say.\u00a0 \u201cYou know if me or you, either one, brought Joe home in the condition he was in last night we wouldn\u2019t have heard the last of it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s for sure,\u201d says Adam through a chuckle.<\/p>\n Pa would\u2019ve tanned our hides for it, meanwhile tellin\u2019 us that we\u2019re supposed to set an example for our younger brother to follow.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean the condition I\u2019m in?\u201d asks Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not in any kind of condition.\u00a0 You heard what Pa said; let\u2019s get started.\u201d<\/p>\n So now he\u2019s the head man when Pa ain\u2019t around?\u00a0 Cocky pup.<\/p>\n Adam leaps to his feet, sending the other end of the board straight to the ground and Joe lands flat on his butt.\u00a0 I bet that hurt his head something fierce and I can\u2019t help but laugh.\u00a0 Bein\u2019 an older brother has its benefits.<\/p>\n Me and Adam head off for our horses and get to work.\u00a0 We don\u2019t give Joe any special treatment but we both know he\u2019ll outwork every man today to prove a hangover can\u2019t hold him back.<\/p>\n Word comes during lunch that Pa wants to see Adam and me back at the house.\u00a0 Must be bad news.\u00a0 We push our tired horses to get home.<\/p>\n Adam leads the way into the house and tosses his hat across the room.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s at his desk, a piece of paper in his hand, and he don\u2019t look happy.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d\u00a0 Adam asks.\u00a0 \u201cWe heard you wanted to see us.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I got that telegram back from New Orleans.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat does it say?\u201d I ask.<\/p>\n \u201cHis story checks out,\u201d says Pa.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter then?\u201d\u00a0 I ask.\u00a0 Clay is who he claims to be.\u00a0 Maybe Joe\u2019s shiny new marble won\u2019t be as much trouble as I\u2019d feared.<\/p>\n \u201cAlvin Wharton is a very good lawyer,\u201d says Pa.\u00a0 \u201cHe investigates and gets all the facts.\u00a0 Marie was<\/em> his mother, he was born in New Orleans, raised by his grandparents, and so forth.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s the trouble, Pa?\u201d\u00a0 I ask.\u00a0 Seems he\u2019d be glad to know Clay isn\u2019t after money.<\/p>\n Pa takes a deep breath and reads from the telegram.\u00a0 \u201cSomething that Alvin found out happened two years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTwo years ago?\u201d Adam asks.<\/p>\n Looks like alarm bells are goin\u2019 off in Adam\u2019s head.\u00a0 Maybe I shouldn\u2019t quite yet welcome Clay into the family.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, in a town in Texas, Chico Wells.\u00a0 Seems there was a card game, Clay was winning a lot of money, a man accused him of cheating, reached for his gun . . . .\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd Clay killed him,\u201d Adam says, finishing what Pa was gonna say.<\/p>\n \u201cSorta stretchin\u2019 the long arm of coincidence, ain\u2019t it?\u201d I ask.\u00a0 Guess history does<\/em> have a way of repeating itself.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m afraid that\u2019s how a lot of people will look at it,\u201d Pa says.<\/p>\n \u201cHow do you look at it?\u201d asks Adam.<\/p>\n The way he asks it sounds like he\u2019s thinkin\u2019 up an explanation the sheriff and the miners will believe when they find out Clay ain\u2019t gone.<\/p>\n Pa just shrugs.\u00a0 He\u2019d wanted Clay off the Ponderosa after that miner was killed.\u00a0 Now it\u2019s as if he\u2019s afraid of breaking Little Joe\u2019s heart.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you gonna tell Little Joe?\u201d I ask.\u00a0 Somebody\u2019s got to tell him before Clay brings trouble to our doorstep.<\/p>\n \u201cWell,\u201d says Pa, \u201che\u2019s gonna have to face the fact there can be weaknesses in people, even those we care about.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe will just have to accept that newfound kinfolk ain\u2019t always like us.\u00a0 My Uncle Gunnar sure wasn\u2019t, even there at the end when he was dyin\u2019 in my arms.<\/p>\n \u201cYou gonna let Clay stay around?\u201d I ask.\u00a0 By the battle waging on Pa\u2019s face I can see he\u2019s having a hard time makin\u2019 up his mind.<\/p>\n \u201cGuess we\u2019ll have to give him the benefit of whatever doubts we have about him,\u201d Pa finally says.<\/p>\n I look over at Adam.\u00a0 He don\u2019t look too pleased.\u00a0 Clay attracts trouble like honey attracts bears.\u00a0 Those miners would like nothing better than to plant Clay six feet under.\u00a0 And Clay would likely drag Joe down with him.\u00a0 If I have to tie Joe up and hide him in one of the line shacks to keep him away from Clay I just might do it.<\/p>\n \u201cYou boys get on back to the herd.\u00a0 Tell Little Joe I want to talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir,\u201d I say and I wait for Adam to stand.\u00a0 I hope he ain\u2019t going to make an argument for Clay stayin\u2019 on through the end of the roundup.<\/p>\n We collect our hats and head back to the herd.\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel much like talkin\u2019 so we ride in silence.<\/p>\n Little Joe rides out to meet us and he pulls Cochise up so fast the horse dances sideways.<\/p>\n \u201cPa wants to see you,\u201d says Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cSomething wrong?\u201d he asks.<\/p>\n I\u2019m about to snap off a reminder to respect his elders but Adam says Pa wants to talk to him about Clay.<\/p>\n Little Joe urges Cochise forward and they disappear in a cloud of dust.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, let\u2019s get back to it,\u201d says Adam.<\/p>\n Sometimes older brother can be a mite too practical.<\/p>\n Clay\u2019s a gambler and a killer, and he\u2019s proven to be a cheat as well.\u00a0 That miner wouldn\u2019t have made that accusation without cause.\u00a0 And that shooting back in Texas was because someone had accused Clay of cheating.\u00a0 When word gets out that Clay\u2019s stayin\u2019 on here, folks will likely say we think we\u2019re above the law, giving a known killer refuge.<\/p>\n Once the roundup is over we\u2019re gonna have to find a way to encourage Clay to move on, that life in one place ain\u2019t for him.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s fast with a gun and he likes nothin\u2019 better than a game of poker in one of the saloons on a Saturday night.\u00a0 If he stays under Clay\u2019s influence he\u2019s likely to wind up at the end of a rope.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Over the next couple of weeks, Pa tries talking to Clay like he does Joe.\u00a0 Clay don\u2019t much look like he enjoys fatherly advice.\u00a0 Clay\u2019s a grown man and set in his ways, like me and Adam, and he don\u2019t need a father like Joe does.<\/p>\n Joe talks about the things he and Clay are gonna do after roundup\u2014fishing, hunting, dances, card games.\u00a0 Clay don\u2019t strike me as the type who lingers in one place too long and he don\u2019t seem particularly interested in the idea of staying around.<\/p>\n The only home Joe\u2019s had is here on the Ponderosa and I doubt he can imagine living anyplace else. \u00a0His roots are planted deep, fertilized by the blood and sweat we\u2019ve all shed in making the ranch one of the biggest, and richest, in the territory.\u00a0 And his mother\u2019s buried here, her grave a place he visits when he needs advice from on high.<\/p>\n Uncle Gunnar and Clay are more alike than I care to admit\u2014no ties or roots.\u00a0 Both are what my uncle called a Yucatan turtle, having to move around with the tide and turn of things instead of settling down.\u00a0 \u00a0Despite me and Pa encouraging Gunnar to stay on the Ponderosa, the urge to move on was too strong to keep him in one place for long.<\/p>\n Like Clay, my uncle was a cold-blooded killer.\u00a0 When Gunnar saw something he wanted, he took it, even if he had to pry it out of a dead man\u2019s cold hands.\u00a0 I think back to that night in the saloon when Clay cared more about collecting the money on the table than about the life he\u2019d just snuffed out.<\/p>\n I got a bad feeling Joe\u2019s bacon is gonna end up in the fire and someone will have to pull it out before he burns up to nothing more than a crisp.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n The last steer is counted and the men are ready to spend their hard-earned wages on a celebration.\u00a0 Joe says he\u2019ll buy the first round at the Silver Dollar.<\/p>\n Pa and Adam double-check the numbers while I lean on the fence and watch with half-interest.\u00a0 Joe pops up at my elbow like a prairie dog.<\/p>\n \u201cWe couldn\u2019t have done it without Clay,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n I pull my hat down a mite lower and roll my eyes.\u00a0 We would\u2019ve done just fine without him.<\/p>\n \u201cNow that it\u2019s over I\u2019m thinking on traveling a while.\u00a0 Maybe head down to Mexico.\u00a0 Clay says the girls down there are pretty things.\u00a0 Pulque and a se\u00f1orita on each knee, now that\u2019d be the life.\u201d<\/p>\n He laughs but I don\u2019t join him.<\/p>\n The breeze tickles the back of my neck and I shiver like someone is walking on my grave.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph!\u201d Pa yells.<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s over the fence like he has wings and I see Pa hand him a slip of paper, probably for the bank so Joe can collect the payroll and the bonus Pa promised each man who signed on.\u00a0 He swings up into the saddle the same way he went over the fence.<\/p>\n Pa walks over to me but I don\u2019t feel much like talking.<\/p>\n He looks across the corral and asks, \u201cWhat do you think of Clay staying on?\u201d<\/p>\n I pick at the fence, careful to avoid jamming a splinter in my finger.\u00a0 \u201cFine by me, if that\u2019s what he wants.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa makes a low noise in his throat.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s what Adam said.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ve tried making him feel welcome but I don\u2019t know if he really wants a family.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s the most diplomatic answer I can think of.<\/p>\n Pa looks long and hard at the other side of the corral before he walks over there.\u00a0 As he strikes up a conversation with Clay, I see to my horse and listen to the hands talk about spending their pay on whiskey and women.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n While Joe\u2019s in town we head back for the house and wash off the trail dust.\u00a0 After, Pa works on a ledger while Adam sets up the chess board.\u00a0 Clay paces the room before he picks up a book and lights on the settee.\u00a0 I sit on the hearth and gnaw on an apple to tide me over \u2018til suppertime.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s pondering the board when there\u2019s an echoing clang from the supper bell.\u00a0 It ain\u2019t yet time to eat.<\/p>\n Pa\u2019s first out the door and I hear him yell Joe\u2019s name.<\/p>\n Adam and I rush out of the house.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s layin\u2019 near the porch, out cold.\u00a0 The tightness in my chest eases up\u2014there\u2019s a big ol\u2019 bruise on his face but no blood on his jacket.<\/p>\n Clay hangs back as we carry Joe up to his room.\u00a0 He sure don\u2019t seem too awful concerned about his brother.<\/p>\n We get Joe settled on the bed and I hold him up so Pa can get the jacket and shirt off.\u00a0 I wince at the bruises darkening Joe\u2019s belly.<\/p>\n \u201cGet some cold water and bandages,\u201d Pa says.\u00a0 Adam obeys the order and runs for the stairs.<\/p>\n \u201cHad to be those miners, Pa.\u00a0 Me or Adam should\u2019ve gone for the money.\u00a0 They wouldn\u2019t have taken on one of us.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause Clay\u2019s not your brother?\u201d<\/p>\n I meet Pa\u2019s eyes and nod.\u00a0 We knew those miners were spoilin\u2019 for revenge and we let Joe walk straight into the lion\u2019s den.\u00a0 Meanwhile, Clay sits downstairs without a mark on him.<\/p>\n Adam comes back with a basin, towels, and bandages.\u00a0 \u201cClay found the payroll in Joe\u2019s saddlebag.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHad to be a message for Clay,\u201d I say.\u00a0 \u201cHe killed one of theirs and they ain\u2019t going to forgive and forget \u2018til he pays.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe can\u2019t worry about that right now,\u201d Pa says.\u00a0 \u201cOne of you hold your brother so we can wrap this bandage around him.\u201d\u00a0 Joe moans softly and tries to push away from me but he\u2019s too weak.\u00a0 After settling Joe back on the pillows, Pa sits down on the edge of the bed and runs a damp cloth across Joe\u2019s forehead.<\/p>\n Pa looks at me and Adam, standing there like bumps on a log, and tells us to pay the hands.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to leave Joe\u2019s room \u2018til he comes around but Adam nudges me to follow.\u00a0 On the way out, I notice Clay\u2019s sunk down in the chair like he\u2019s tryin\u2019 hard not to be seen.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to give him some of what Joe got but Ponderosa business comes before pleasure.<\/p>\n I know Adam don\u2019t want Clay around anymore than I do but how do we get Pa\u2014and Joe\u2014to understand he\u2019s nothing but trouble? \u00a0Next time someone wants to send a message Joe may end up with a bullet or two in him instead of just busted ribs.\u00a0 \u00a0Joe shouldn\u2019t have to pay for Clay\u2019s sins; I know Joe won\u2019t see things that way but he\u2019ll have to see Clay for what he really is.<\/p>\n It\u2019s dark when I get home; Adam stayed in town to keep our men out of trouble while they celebrate.\u00a0 Chubb\u2019s curried and fed in record time so I can check on little brother. \u00a0I take off my gun belt and it bumps in time with my leg as I go to the house.<\/p>\n Pa hurries over when I step inside and he looks past me, into the darkness.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d I ask.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe\u2019s gone.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGone?\u201d I repeat as if I\u2019m a parrot.\u00a0 My heart drops into my belly\u2014Joe\u2019s in no condition to sit a horse.\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2019s Clay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe cleared out while Joe was in bed.\u201d\u00a0 Pa shakes his head and says, \u201cI should\u2019ve lied when he asked for his brother.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m goin\u2019 after \u2018em,\u201d I say as matter-of-fact as ordering another steak at the International House.\u00a0 The memory of beating Uncle Gunnar near to death plays behind my eyes and I feel my jaw tighten with the anger coursing in my blood.\u00a0 I\u2019ll beat the life out of Clay slow-like, make him suffer for every bruise Joe got from those miners.<\/p>\n My gun belt is nearly buckled when Pa says, \u201cDon\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n The weight of it drops to one hand at the pleading tone in Pa\u2019s voice.\u00a0 I search his face and note how old he looks\u2014worry lines crease his brow and the wrinkles around his eyes seem deeper.\u00a0 It ain\u2019t just the beating Little Joe got at the hands of those miners, it\u2019s also the way Clay\u2019s run from the problems he created instead of confronting them head on. \u00a0No Cartwright tucks his tail between his legs and slinks off into the night like a frightened coyote.\u00a0 Clay\u2019s not worthy of the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Or Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cYour brother needs to see Clay for what he really is and make up his own mind.\u00a0 He\u2019ll make the right choice.\u201d\u00a0 I think Pa is trying to reassure himself more than me when he pats my shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cGo to bed.\u00a0 I\u2019ll wait up.\u201d<\/p>\n I don\u2019t share Pa\u2019s confidence\u2014I want to chase down Little Joe and shake him until he forgets Clay ever came into our lives.\u00a0 I hesitate as the battle between obeying Pa and saving Joe from himself wages in my heart.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease, son.\u201d \u00a0It\u2019s almost a whisper.<\/p>\n The gun belt falls heavily onto the credenza and I lean against it for a moment before putting my hat on its peg.\u00a0 I head for the stairs knowing Pa will make good on his promise to stay awake until Little Joe comes back.\u00a0 For Pa\u2019s sake I hope it won\u2019t be a long wait.<\/p>\n I move the rocking chair over by the window to keep an eye out.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s a fighter and not one to let a few busted ribs keep him idle for long, but I wish he\u2019d landed up at the doc\u2019s instead of back home.\u00a0 We should have tied him down but Pa trusted that Joe would do as told.<\/p>\n Hours later, the sound of hooves carries in through the window.\u00a0 Cochise has brought Joe home.\u00a0 Joe manages to get out of the saddle without falling down but he don\u2019t look too steady on his legs.\u00a0 He leans against his horse and buries his face in its mane for a minute or so before straightening and wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand.<\/p>\n Whatever Clay did to make Joe come home looks as if it\u2019s nearly killed my little brother.\u00a0 Those miners left a physical hurt on Joe that\u2019ll heal up without a scar.\u00a0 Clay\u2019s left an emotional hurt on our brother that time may never fully heal.<\/p>\n I go to the corner near the stairs when the front door opens.\u00a0 Joe falls into Pa\u2019s arms, crying like a little boy.\u00a0 All Pa can do is hold him tight, knowing Clay made the right decision for his brother\u2019s sake.<\/p>\n Family ain\u2019t just shared blood, it\u2019s lookin\u2019 out for each other and standing together to face challengers head on.\u00a0 Nothing hurts worse than seeing kin for what they really are.\u00a0 In the end, my uncle was just a man who\u2019d taken a wrong turn and become a killer.\u00a0 It took a long while before I forgave him for turning his back on me, his blood family.\u00a0 Only difference between Gunnar and Clay is my uncle knew about us and chose never to visit, maybe so I wouldn\u2019t know the hard side of him.\u00a0 I hope the hurtful memories Joe may have of Clay fade along with the bruises and that maybe, someday, Joe can find it in his heart to forgive his brother.<\/p>\n I go back to my room and squirm under the quilts until I\u2019m comfortable.\u00a0 The curtain billows in the cool night air as if Ma sighs in relief that her son\u2019s home, where he belongs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The End<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Written for the Ponderosa Paddlewheel Poker Tournament.<\/p>\n My words were: \u00a0lost, thief, food poisoning, telegram, (Joker)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tags:\u00a0 Clay Stafford, ESH, Family, Gunnar Borgstrom, Hoss Cartwright, Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright<\/p>\n