{"id":11530,"date":"2015-08-17T12:47:20","date_gmt":"2015-08-17T16:47:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=11530"},"modified":"2025-08-01T13:29:14","modified_gmt":"2025-08-01T17:29:14","slug":"forever-changed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=11530","title":{"rendered":"Forever Changed (by BluewindFarm)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>: After concluding a business trip in San Francisco, Joe\u2019s life is forever changed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rating<\/strong>:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (14,520 words)<\/span><\/p>\n

Thank you to jfclover for beta’ing and pushing this story to be more than originally envisioned.\u00a0 Thank you to Belle for inspiring a scene or two.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter One \u2013 Present Day<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Throwing open the door to Paul Martin\u2019s medical office, Ben roared, \u201cYou lied!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI beg your pardon?\u201d The doctor turned in his chair, looking up to his long-time friend.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow dare you\u2026 If you weren\u2019t\u2026\u201d Ben raised a crumpled letter in his clinched fist, while unable to finished his flustered sentences.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

Pushing back from his desk, Paul stood. \u201cBen, take a moment and calm down.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCalm down?! \u2018She\u2019s dying. She\u2019ll be lucky to survive until morning<\/em>.\u2019 Those were the words you spoke to me, weren\u2019t they?\u201d Indignity and anger poured from Ben.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBen, I have no clue what you\u2019re talking about,\u201d Paul pleaded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou have no idea.\u201d Disgustedly Ben paced to and from across the office floor, turning he growled, \u201cHer death nearly destroyed my son. The last memory he had of their time together was that to her it was nothing more than a joke!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI never had that impression of Alice.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben continued his tirade, \u201cIt\u2019s obvious the two of you were in it together. She said she was giving me back my son. We buried her. And now I find out the truth! You kept this from me all these years?!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYears?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, years. As if you don\u2019t remember.\u201d Standing still for the first time since entering, Ben\u2019s face bore the visible sign of his anger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBen, Joe\u2019s had so many girlfriends or fianc\u00e9es over the years, maybe you\u2019d care to elaborate which one.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben held out the letter.<\/span><\/p>\n

Minutes later, after carefully slipping the sheet of paper back inside the envelope, Paul could only answer, \u201cIt was what she asked, but I honestly didn\u2019t know about the rest.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter Two \u2013 Two weeks before
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing set a pot of freshly brewed coffee on the dining room table, hesitating before removing the empty dishes and serving platter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt good see Lit\u2019le Joe clean plate.\u201d The Oriental man slightly nodded, indicating respect with his words.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that supposed to mean?\u201d Joe reached for the coffee pot to fill his cup.<\/span><\/p>\n

Setting a hand to the man\u2019s shoulder, \u201cMean, you finally at peace. Able to live forward, only y\u012bpi\u0113 (glance) back. Not live back. It good have Lit\u2019le Joe home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cXi\u00e8xi\u00e8.\u201d (Thank you). He took a sip of coffee, and set the cup to the table.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat goes for me too, son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, you\u2019re happy I cleaned my plate?\u201d Joe smiled and handed the empty dish to their housekeeper.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m happy to have my son back.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd here you\u2019re sending me away.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s business, and you know it.\u201d Ben enjoyed the moment of lightheartedness whenever it appeared.<\/span><\/p>\n

A sorrowful atmosphere had hung over the Ponderosa for far too long. Family and friends were stunned by Hoss\u2019 sudden death. No one saw it coming, and it happened before anyone could shout a warning. By the time Paul Martin arrived, there was nothing he could do except offer his condolences and share in the family\u2019s grief.<\/span><\/p>\n

The sun appeared to disperse the shroud of mourning when Alice Harper came into Joe\u2019s life; their courting and marriage, her pregnancy. Just when happiness seemed assured, her brother and his associates devastated Joe\u2019s world.<\/span><\/p>\n

After the passing of each of his wives, Ben suffered from depression; even to a point of disappearing for several months after Marie\u2019s death. But his despair paled in comparison to Joe\u2019s. Ultimately, Ben\u2019s return to the Ponderosa was motivated by the love for his sons, and the fact all three wives would chastise him for his selfishness.<\/span><\/p>\n

But this was different due to the manner in which Alice died. And, not only had Joe lost his wife, but he had also been robbed of a future with his unborn child. The only thing that kept him grounded against giving into his grief was a tenuous grasp on vengeance. When there was no one left to seek, and his anger soothed, he was forced to return to his life… as a rancher, a son, a brother, and a widower.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know Pa.\u201d He grinned. \u201cIt\u2019s about time I got back to business. At least you\u2019ll have Candy and Jamie to boss around.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t boss you\u2026\u201d Ben answered, shaking his head as Joe let loose a rare cackling laugh. A smile radiated from the man as he raised a coffee cup to take a drink.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you don\u2019t boss me around. You\u2019ve been what I needed. My father.\u201d Eyes glistened in silent understanding as moments passed between the two. \u201cThis new lumber contract, I wish Adam were here to handle the negotiations with Occidental and Oriental.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben recognized Joe\u2019s longing, he felt it too. He had four sons. The fact that only one of his sons by birth remained to share his dream of the Ponderosa had created a hole in his heart. Adam\u2026 It had been too many years since they\u2019d received any word from the eldest. Last they\u2019d heard he was heading for Australia. With no further news, they had no idea if he\u2019d settled down or was still traveling the globe. Their only hope was that he was living the life that made him happy.<\/span><\/p>\n

He thought of his fourth son, and newest member of the family. Once the boy was assured his time as a Cartwright wasn\u2019t going to be ripped out from under him, he began making real contributions to the ranch and the family. \u00a0Sure, early on he\u2019d made some mistakes, but didn\u2019t they all when they were learning. The hardest lessons learned and those most remembered, came from difficult times.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you\u2019ve handled the negotiations for years. I have faith in you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not that. It\u2019s just\u2026 I\u2019m needed here for roundup and branding. There\u2019s that new string of horses for the army.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you just said that I have Candy and Jamie to boss around. They can handle it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know they can.\u201d Joe wrapped his hands around his half-empty coffee cup.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, you\u2019re coming to a time in your life when you need to realize that, you don\u2019t have to do it all. There are others who are more than capable of handling the job. You\u2019re not as indispensable as you think you are.\u201d Joe affected a pained expression, hands over his heart as if shot. \u201cBesides, you\u2019re due a few days down time, which I expect you to take after you win that contract.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI just feel like I\u2019m abandoning you, I\u2019ve not been home that long.\u201d Joe hoped his father understood. \u201cBranding and roundup are always our busiest time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve a full crew this year, and most all of them have the experience. We\u2019ll get along just fine. And if you\u2019re worried\u2026 we\u2019ll still miss you.\u201d Ben tilted his head, an eyebrow rose.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Thanks\u2019 was spoken with sincerity and a dole-sense of humor.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey Pa!\u201d Jamie hollered; the heavy wooden front door thumped loudly against the sideboard.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLike a\u2026\u201d Ben ruefully shook his head. How many times had Joe done exactly the same when entering their home?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026bull in a China shop?\u201d Joe finished.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nodding, Ben answered, \u201cOver here Jamie.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCandy and I\u2019re\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCandy and I are,\u201d Joe teasingly corrected.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHuh? Oh\u2026 yeah. Candy and I are ready to head out with the men. Any last words?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben rose from his chair; passing his son, he gave a gentle squeeze to Joe\u2019s shoulder.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhile you\u2019re out there, I best finish packing. Don\u2019t want to miss the stage.\u201d Wiping his mouth one last time, Joe set the napkin to the table before bounding across the floor to the stairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, wish I could go with you,\u201d Candy Canaday called from the doorway.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNext time,\u201d Joe answered, taking the stairs two at a time.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSan Francisco wouldn\u2019t know what to do with the two of you out on the town,\u201d teased Jamie.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s going on business,\u201d Ben clarified, placing an arm around his youngest son\u2019s shoulders, leading the boy outside with Candy close on their heels.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that, but still\u2026\u201d Jamie wistfully answered; wondering when he\u2019d be able to make such trips.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter Three \u2013 San Francisco<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGentlemen, the scope originally laid out in your prospectus was nowhere near this ambitious. And your deadline is too short,\u201d Joe stated as the negotiations entered its second hour.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe have no choice. Based on the final report from our engineers, we need to completely rebuild the shipping docks and build additional warehouses for this joint venture between our railroads,\u201d Mark Hopkins answered. The man\u2019s average height and appearance did nothing to impress Joe, he could very well be just another face in the crowd.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cole Huntington sat two chairs away from his partner, and was a stark contrast. The man towered over the others when Joe was first introduced; and a skinnier man Joe had never met. \u00a0The smaller of the two accepted long standing business practices; however, Cole was over eager to react to any change in the conversation.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked between the two men who sat opposite of him and thought of the contrasts between them; tricking him to think of the difference between the brothers, Hoss especially. Forcing down the memories, he returned to the topic at hand and listened to the man\u2019s explanation regarding the change to the scope of the project.<\/span><\/p>\n

Coming to his conclusion, \u201cIf we\u2019re to build this venture to be the best, we have no choice but to follow through with the recommendations made by our engineers. To not, would put countless lives in possible jeopardy. We won\u2019t cut costs when lives matter.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know all about doing what\u2019s right when lives are concerned. The Ponderosa provided the lumber and my brothers helped build the first mining square sets designed by Philp Diedescheimer.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo you understand why we we\u2019re forced to increase our requirements.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u201cI understand, but the Ponderosa can\u2019t meet your needs or your deadline.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen we\u2019ll find someone else who can!\u201d Cole Huntington slammed his hands down on the table top, upset at having wasted so much time in discussions.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hopkins calmly spoke, \u201cCole, the Ponderosa is the only one who could possibly meet our needs. If they can\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know of anyone who can meet your requirements,\u201d Joe honestly admitted.<\/span><\/p>\n

Huntington huffed back into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest.<\/span><\/p>\n

The clock on the wall silently ticked off the minutes while all three men contemplated their next move.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sitting forward, forearms resting on the table and fingers interlaced, \u201cI have an idea. There\u2019s only one way that you\u2019ll get that amount of lumber and in the time you need it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d Hopkins eagerly sat forward.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet me to see if some of the Ponderosa\u2019s competitors would consider working together to form a partnership. As I said, no one can individually meet your needs, but maybe we can\u2026 together.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow soon would you be able to let us know?\u201d Huntington eagerly inquired.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGive me two days to meet with the others.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

They gathered in the Palace Hotel dining room. With half-filled tumblers of bourbon as an after dinner drink; the new partners gathered to celebrate the largest and most comprehensive contract they had ever signed.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Here! Here!\u201d chorused the men, raising their glasses in toast.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAfter all these years of outbidding and undercutting, leave it to Joe Cartwright to bring us all together for a profit!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWho would have imagined this?!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTo Joe Cartwright!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGentlemen, let\u2019s say it\u2019s been a pleasure. Once I wire my father, I\u2019ve a few days of rest and relaxation coming to me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBen Cartwright giving you time off?\u201d one of the men asked in jest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt helps to have pull with the boss,\u201d teased Joe. \u201cSeriously, here\u2019s to a successful and prosperous year to come.\u201d Joe bid goodnight to his new partners. \u201cJust remember, we meet in six weeks at the Ponderosa to coordinate our schedules and the logistics of moving the lumber.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSend your father my regards,\u201d \u201cSame here,\u201d and \u201cLikewise,\u201d were echoed as Joe left the dining hall.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Gasping for breath and grabbing to hold on tight, the horse bucked and twisted; jarring his insides, only to throwing him high into the air before slamming to the ground. Opening his eyes, Joe found himself on the floor of his hotel room. All around him, the building continued to buck and the ceiling began to crumble. Grabbing his clothes and holster, he scrambled for the doorway.<\/span><\/p>\n

Other guests crowding the hallway briefly stopped him; women screaming and men shouting, all attempting to make their way to the staircase to exit before the building totally disintegrated.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once safely in the street, the land stopped rolling. Sounds escalated as buildings collapsed and people screamed.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Having concluded his business for the Ponderosa, Joe had previously checked out of The Palace Hotel in the heart of downtown San Francisco. His father had given him a few days to spend on his own, in hopes that the added time would help heal his heart. For that reason, he had decided to stay in a smaller hotel on the far north side of the city, closer to open land where he had planned to meet up with a potential new supplier, he\u2019d heard of a vintner who lived in the area with a reputation of producing excellent wines. He had hopes of procuring several cases for his father, as a thank you present.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Looking around, his mind numbed in shock. Too many buildings were nothing more than broken timbers and fallen walls. Wailing and shouts for help permeated the air, as well as dust kicked up as a result of the earthquake.<\/span><\/p>\n

With modesty all but forgotten, he pulled on his trousers before divesting himself of his nightshirt, and within moments was fully dressed with boots on his feet, his gun holster around his hips, and his hat on his head. Less than ten minutes after being rudely awakened; Joe set out to help.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

With his heart jumping, Ben slumped against the hitching rail in front of the telegraph office where he had come to pick up the week\u2019s mail. Sheriff Clem Foster had handed him the Territorial Enterprise; in large, bold-faced type the headline read, EARTHQUAKE STRIKES SAN FRANCISCO.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen\u2026 when did it happen?\u201d Ben\u2019s voice shook.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYesterday. Early; maybe two thirty in the morning. Dispatch riders sent the first word asking for help, and once news was received by telegraph operators, it spread like wildfire.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI have to go.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright.\u201d Clem reached out for the man. \u201cIf Joe survived, you have no idea where to find him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s my son!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you\u2019ve another son at home who\u2019s going to be just as worried about his brother. What\u2019s he supposed to think if you go gallivanting off?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cClem\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBen, for Jamie\u2019s sake. Go home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter Four<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Some down time, Pa said. Relax. Take it easy. It\u2019ll do you good.\u2019<\/em> Joe laughed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rescuers and volunteers had spent two days searching every building in hopes of finding survivors. The carnage was so overwhelming that at times Joe had to force thoughts of what he had seen from his mind and numbly go about doing what needed done. It was during these times when memories of the Virginia City cave-in came back to haunt him; the hours he worked to rescue his father and the others from the basement of the collapsed Virginia City Courthouse.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAt least I know Pa\u2019s safe.\u2019<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey Mister!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked up to see a policeman, his uniform dust covered and torn at the knees and elbows, beckoning to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe could use your help. We need another man to help transport a couple of victims to a makeshift hospital that\u2019s set up a couple of blocks away.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure.\u201d Pulling black gloves from his pocket, Joe followed the officer.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCouple of blocks?\u201d the man helping to carry the first litter complained. \u201cFeels like we\u2019ve already walked a mile.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOnly three more buildings to go,\u201d the officer spoke aloud so those with the second litter could hear.<\/span><\/p>\n

During their journey, Joe noted the buildings in this area were in far better shape that those closer to where he had stayed. Shutters hanging precariously next to broken windows and cracked porch roof support posts appeared to be the worst damage suffered.<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally stopping, the sign over the entryway piqued Joe\u2019s curiosity.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t going in there,\u201d the tiny man at the other end of the litter declared. \u201cMy wife\u2019d skin me alive.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMove it mister. This man needs help, and if that\u2019s where help is, you\u2019re going inside.\u201d Joe gave the litter a shove, propelling the man to step forward.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis way,\u201d announced the young girl who opened the door. \u201cWe\u2019ve room for a few more in back.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Once the victims were transferred to cots, Joe turned to look for the little girl, hoping to inquired about water to drink.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for your help,\u201d the officer stated, taking the empty litter from Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re welcome. You need me anymore?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNah, why don\u2019t you see if they could use your help here, or maybe you could grab some shuteye; looks like you could use some.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHave you looked in the mirror lately?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t need to, I feel as bad as you look.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat bad?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The officer grinned and waved off.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Without wasting time to ask what needed done, Joe began tending to the people nearest to him. Offering a comforting hand on a shoulder or stopping to help a person move into a more comfortable position on a cot. He found the kitchen and filled a pitcher with water; grabbing glasses, he returned to the other rooms. The sight before him was proof the doctor had been extremely busy, setting broken bones or administering stitches, and worse.<\/span><\/p>\n

Images from a time long ago fleetingly entered his thoughts. Sick people being tended to, some dying; the long hours and hard work trying to save lives and offer hope.<\/span><\/p>\n

Too many times he quietly followed another gentleman to a bed bearing a sheet covered occupant. Death, then, like now; he became overly-familiar with the route to the make-shift morgue set up only a block away.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like you could use some water.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe refocused from looking out into the night time sky to see the young girl from earlier in the day. He\u2019d seen her move from room to room, carrying water pitchers and towels or blankets as needed. Below her tiredness, he could see the strain the past few days had put on her. Weren\u2019t they all exhausted? But for a child who couldn\u2019t be more than possibly twelve, this must be even harder.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I could.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHere.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Slowly sipping from the glass the girl handed to him, Joe noticed her eyes and her tear-stained face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you. Looks like you could use some water too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWon\u2019t do no good. I\u2019d just cry it out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou look tired. When was the last time you slept?\u201d Joe asked as the girl plopped down on the front porch step beside him; her shoulders slumped.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGot a few hours this morning.\u201d Shaking her head she said, \u201cThere\u2019s just so much work to do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, seems like if we\u2019re going to working together, we should introduce ourselves. I\u2019m Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m Aurie.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLaurie?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 Aurie, no L.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t know that I\u2019ve heard that name before. What\u2019s it short for?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s from a song my momma used to sing. She said my real name\u2019s too long to be calling me it all the time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoping to brighten the girl, \u201cI know all about that. Yours can\u2019t be any worse than mine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, huh. Can too,\u201d she pouted.<\/span><\/p>\n

Holding out his hand, \u201cJoseph Francis, at your service.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Giggling, she answered, \u201cJosephine Marie.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyebrows rose.<\/span><\/p>\n

Aurie stood, \u201cI guess I need to get back to work.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoes your Momma know you\u2019re here?\u201d Joe stood.<\/span><\/p>\n

She nodded. Taking a shuddering breath, she reached for Joe. Tears fell in earnest down her face. Joe wrapped his arms around the girl in hopes of offering comfort.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you let me take you home? I\u2019m sure your momma\u2019s worried sick about you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Looking up, she whispered, \u201cI live here. Momma\u2019s upstairs. She\u2019s hurting bad. Mrs. Chambers won\u2019t let me see her.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if I ask Mrs. Chambers if she\u2019ll let you see your momma?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWould you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded and followed Aurie back into the Silver Bullet.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe don\u2019t need to be disturbed by that child,\u201d Mrs. Chambers hissed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe child in question is her own daughter. If the worse happens, the child needs to be able to tell her mother that she loves her, while she\u2019s still alive. How can you deny the child or her mother?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause of what they are. That child should be in an orphanage.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHer mother\u2019s still alive.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t matter.\u201d The woman defiantly set her hands to her hips.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cListen, you can\u2019t stand guard on that door all night.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

From the other side of the door, they both heard the woman\u2019s name painfully called.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou stay right here! Don\u2019t you move!\u201d the woman warned.<\/span><\/p>\n

Beyond the briefly opened door, Joe caught a glimpse of what might have been an opulently decorated bedroom. Again he wondered about the name over the entryway downstairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

The door reopened and Mrs. Chambers stepped into the hallway.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYour name Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Perplexed, Joe nodded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe wants to see you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMe? What about her daughter?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBest you know, the doctor don\u2019t hold out much hope for her.\u201d Mrs. Chambers turned to leave.<\/span><\/p>\n

Grabbing her arm to prevent her from passing, \u201cWhy are you here? It\u2019s obvious you don\u2019t care about them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here because my husband is the doctor downstairs and this is the only facility large enough that would take in all the injured.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYour husband is tending to the less fortunate without any qualms, how can you talk down about\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLess fortunate are those downstairs. But she ain\u2019t. She owns this place. I despise every moment I have to be near that whore.\u201d Pulling her arm away, she bolted as quickly down the hall as possible.<\/span><\/p>\n

Shocked at the woman\u2019s words, he let her go. Forgetting about the bitter woman, he gently knocked on the door and pushed it open at hearing, \u201cCome in.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

In the dimly lit room, he briefly looked around until he saw the bed, and the woman lying there. Even though her hair was lightly streaked with gray and her face held laugh lines around her pain-filled eyes, Joe recognized her immediately.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHello Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter Five<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Unaware of time passing, Joe looked at the woman who he believed had died so many years before.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJulia.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Standing next to Cochise, he glanced up and saw the darkening of her window. Wanting to race back upstairs to stop her from dying, yet he knew his actions would be futile. Doc Martin would not have fully extinguished the light unless she was already gone. Slowly, he lifted his foot to the stirrup and pulled himself into the saddle. Numbly, he signaled Cochise to take him home.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Come morning, Joe pulled the covers over his shoulder after closing the curtains that Hop Sing had recently opened after Hoss left his room. With his eyes closed he imagined what was happening downstairs. His father sitting at the breakfast table and shaking his head in response to Hoss\u2019 slow steps down the staircase. His big brother\u2019s glum expression was answer enough to the unasked question, \u2018Was Joe coming down?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAfter you\u2019re through eating, you two head on out to help Charlie with that line of fencing that needs repaired before we move the herd next week.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Joe?\u201d Adam asked, spooning scrambled eggs to his plate.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot today. Probably not until after her funeral.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen\u2019s that gonna be Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTomorrow I surmise. \u00a0I\u2019m sure the good citizens of Virginia City will want her buried as soon as possible.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

A matching set of black geldings pulled the hearse carrying Julia\u2019s coffin. The undertaker took pride in his profession and figured with business booming in the mining town, it would be one last perk for the recently departed. And so only a month prior, he had purchased the glass-encased hearse and team.<\/span><\/p>\n

Very few of the good citizens followed behind in the procession. Most were those who worked for her, and the volunteer fire department; one of their helmets rested on top of her coffin. The majority of the town\u2019s people stood on the boardwalk gawking and whispering behind raised hands. The hushed voices rattled on over the audacity of the family to be seen there and how embarrassed Ben Cartwright must be after the scandalous actions of his youngest son.<\/span><\/p>\n

Looking straight ahead, Joe Cartwright appeared oblivious to his father riding along beside him and his brothers who followed. His family was well aware of the stares directed their way.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

The funeral had concluded and those who attended had left to return to their homes or their work, all but for one family. Ben, Adam, and Hoss waited by their mounts while Joe stood like a statute, hat in hand, tears streaming down his face. Even though his family spoke quietly, their voices carried.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow long Pa?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou two go back home. I\u2019ll wait for Joseph.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll tell him we\u2019re sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI will Adam, Don\u2019t worry, he knows.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben waited, hoping his son would snap out of his grief and come to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Slowly Ben approached, \u201cSon, it\u2019s time to go.\u201d Without receiving an answer, the worried father slipped his hand around his son\u2019s upper arm; gently he tugged. Joe turned.<\/span><\/p>\n

“I loved her, Pa.\u201d He looked over his shoulder to the hole where the coffin had been lowered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s time to go home. Time to live for yourself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd if I don\u2019t want to live?\u201d Joe looked to his hands still holding his hat.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben pleaded. \u201cIf you can\u2019t live for you, would you consider living for me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOne day at a time. It will get better. I promise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, how much longer?!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, it\u2019s only been a week.\u201d Hoss stood in front of the fireplace, pushing his hands deep into his pockets. \u201cHe loved that little gal.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat little gal, as you call her, was old enough to be his mother. He had no business\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, that\u2019s enough,\u201d warned Ben, sitting in his leather chair.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe needs to get over her. He has obligations to this family, and this ranch!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know as well as anyone else, we all handle our grief differently.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the problem, he\u2019s not handling it. He needs to get back to living and that means working!\u201d Adam stormed to the foot of the staircase, pointing up. \u201cWe shouldn\u2019t have to be…\u201d Adam\u2019s words died on his lips. Joe stood at the top of the stairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you shouldn\u2019t have had to clear out the creek, right brother?\u201d Joe coldly answered coming down the stairs, walked across the floor, gathering his gun belt and hat before exiting the front door.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d called Ben.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust great, older brother,\u201d hissed Hoss.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow was I supposed to know?\u201d Looking from father to brother, Adam crossed the floor, collected his own hat and holster, \u201cI\u2019ve got work to do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Riding through town, Joe ignored the shopkeepers who hesitated in their routines before hurriedly continuing. Apparently, a few felt guilty for taking pleasure in another person\u2019s grief.<\/span><\/p>\n

He left Cochise tethered outside the cemetery with his hat hanging from the saddle horn. Solemnly he walked to the mound of fresh turned earth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHello, Julia.\u201d Crossing his legs, he sat on the sun warmed ground. \u201cI wish you were here. Life\u2019s not what it used to be.\u201d Reaching for a blade of grass, \u201cI think Pa\u2019s is trying to be patient. Adam\u2019s mad, as usual, and Hoss, well\u2026 he\u2019s just Hoss.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe continued talking to Julia, telling her about the sign that hung in the window; her Palace had been offered for sale. He spoke of overhearing Roy talking to his family about Jean Millain\u2019s escape from jail, killing a deputy, and his subsequent death during the shootout. Hours passed as he talked of anything and everything. Looking up at hearing a snort from Cochise, he noted how much time has lapsed, and stood.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam is right; I do need to get on with living; need to get back to pulling my weight on the Ponderosa. Don\u2019t know why I got so mad at what he said, he only spoke the truth.\u201d Reaching for her tombstone, \u201cI stopped by to let you know I won\u2019t be coming around that much, but I\u2019ll still be thinking of you. Maybe\u2026 you\u2019re up there with Momma, and when I look for her star, you\u2019ll be right there next to her.\u201d Hesitating in turning away, \u201cTake care, Julia.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d Joe’s mouth finally began to work.<\/span><\/p>\n

Julia patted the side of her bed, \u201cCome.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe, we buried you.\u201d Joe slowly crossed the floor.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know. At the time, I thought it was for the best.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u201d Joe sat with his left hip on the edge of the bed, his right foot on the floor.<\/span><\/p>\n

The mattress dipped, causing Julia to wince. \u201cYou grew up.\u201d She reached up, running her long fingers through his greying hair.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis isn\u2019t about me Julia\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Coughing, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t suppose it is. All I can say is, I\u2019m sorry.\u201d She lowered her hand to her lap.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSorry? Why? Why\u2019d you fake your death?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Wringing her hands, \u201cI was scared.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cScared? Of Jean? I would have protected you. I loved you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Julia raised her eyes and hand to Joe, placed her fingertips to his lips.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI was scared of what you represented. You shattered my ideals of not having to believe in people. I learned my lesson early; everyone would eventually disappoint me. When it was just me\u2026 I was fine with that.\u201d She grunted to clear her throat. \u201cYou made me believe in you; then I began to doubt everything else in my life.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe retrieved and handed her a glass of water.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI knew we couldn\u2019t have a life together. Your father had come to me before, tried to reason with me. It took Jean beating me to make me undersand what Ben was trying to say. You were too good of a kid. I knew I\u2019d only bring you down.\u201d She took another sip of water. Looking away, she took a deep breath. \u201cJean said he\u2019d kill you before he\u2019d give me up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen why\u2019d he knife you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI fought him. I fought him for you. After Doctor Martin patched me up, and while we waited for the sheriff to get word to you and Ben, we talked. He agreed to help fake my death. I knew I could never ask you to leave the Ponderosa with me, and I didn\u2019t want to see you hurt by Jean.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou were so callous… You weren\u2019t the Julia I knew; talking about sticking it to the blue noses.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I loved you. But it just couldn\u2019t be. I didn\u2019t want to ruin your life. I thought, if our time together didn\u2019t really mean anything to me, I thought you\u2019d find yourself a nice girl.\u201d She coughed, \u201cAnd you did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe kept focused on the past, \u201cWhat about Millain?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about him?\u201d\u00a0 Julia raised a handkerchief to her face and coughed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe posse captured him. He could have been tried and convicted of your murder.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe wasn\u2019t.\u201d Julia\u2019s hand reached for his knee.<\/span><\/p>\n

Her touch alleviated some of his anger. \u201cWhat if he had? Would you have let an innocent man die so you could fake your death?!\u201d Past and present toyed with Joe’s emotions; his chest tightened.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe stole my jewels and my furs, beat me. He killed a deputy during his escape attempt. Does that sound like an innocent man?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I guess not.\u201d Needing to change the subject away from the past, Joe asked, \u201cWhy here, why the Silver Bullet?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI thought it was perfect. The previous owner died\u2026\u201d She coughed. \u201cA gentleman\u2019s club with a play on my name. Bulette, Bullet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s mind\u2019s eye returned to Aurie; ever-changing green eyes, curly chestnut hair. He felt an air of familiarity with the young girl.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJulia, Would I be correct in asking\u2026 if our<\/em> daughter would like to see her mother?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hesitating, Julia minutely nodded.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stood, walked to the small round table, poured a measure of bourbon into a glass and drank.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joe.\u201d A stronger coughing fit struck.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe returned to her side. \u201cDoes Aurie know about me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOnly that her father was a cowboy riding a pinto horse instead of a knight in shining armor on a white horse. His crest of honor was a pine tree, and he carried a revolver instead of a sword. Dreams, I know\u2026 But sometimes that\u2019s all we have left.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Chamber said\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis time, it\u2019s true. I am dying.\u201d Joe turned away from the memories. \u201cNot because of the earthquake, but from cancer.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Taking a moment to organize his jumbled thoughts, \u201cJulia, does Aurie know you’re\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s more perceptive than I give her credit.\u201d Sipping from the glass of water.<\/span><\/p>\n

Thoughts returning to his daughter, \u201cShe brought me water. We even joked about our names.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Julia smiled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I\u2019d like to see Aurie\u2026 please?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you going to tell her I\u2019m her father?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d like to, but that\u2019s not my call. You\u2019re married\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m a widower. Alice, and our unborn child were murdered.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Julia shook her head from side to side, tears slipped past her closed eyes. \u201cI can\u2019t ask you\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJulia, I\u2019ll marry you right now. I want my daughter to have my name.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Reaching up, Julia hugged Joe as fiercely as her strength allowed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pushing away, and wiping her eyes, \u201cIt\u2019s too late for that, but I have a favor to ask.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cName it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou weren\u2019t supposed to find out until after my death. Everything is documented and witnessed in my Will.\u201d She coughed. \u201cI want you to finish raising our daughter, see that she becomes a respectable lady. If you acknowledge her as your daughter, everything you need is there. Father O\u2019Reilly baptized her with your last name, but she\u2019s always used mine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe quietly listened to Julia.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCould you please bring Aurie to me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter Six<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The night had finally quieted while Joe sat at the desk in a downstairs parlor. Faded memories resurfaced of the days from so long ago.<\/span><\/p>\n

Five days had passed since Joe said his last goodbye to Julia; tired and dirty, Joe rode Cochise quietly into the barn, taking extra time tending to his mount. When satisfied with his work, he stepped from the barn to hear several ranch hands snickering.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYa shoulda been here. Too bad you were stuck on night herd. Anyway, you couldn\u2019t amissed hearing him. There was Adam spouting off about Miss Julia being old enough to be the brat\u2019s momma.\u201d Barney Coltrain muttered, handing the liquor bottle to his buddy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGuess he really was a momma\u2019s boy after all,\u201d Kit Versailles answered, taking the bottle and drawing a long pull. Both laughing at the images their statements invoked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Retrieving the bottle, \u201cHere he was strutting all over town like a cock rooster; mannin\u2019 up and all. I can see it now, Miss Julia pretendin\u2019 ta be his momma and him hangin\u2019 off her teat.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWonder if\u2019n she changed his drawers.\u201d Kit laughed, snatching the bottle from the other\u2019s lips. \u201cHey, maybe she had ta treat him for diaper rash.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Both closed their eyes, laughing boorishly. Kit felt the shove throwing him to the ground. Barney sputtered and opened his eyes at the silence; he had no time to react to the furious left cross that laid him out flat. Scrambling to his feet, Kit cocked a fist, drawing his arm back and lunging forward. His black-shirted opponent whirled to face him. The click of the revolver stopped Kit mid-stride. Faster than his brain could comprehend, a fully loaded weapon was pointed straight at his chest. Green eyes turned black looked down the barrel.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGive me an excuse.\u201d The cold voice slipped through clenched teeth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s going on here?!\u201d Adam called, riding in from the far side of the barn.<\/span><\/p>\n

Raising his hand to his jaw, Barney roused and sat up.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m firing two men,\u201d Joe answered, gun deadly still.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou cain\u2019t do that!\u201d Kit argued.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, put your gun away.\u201d Adam stepped down from Sport, dropping his reins.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot until they\u2019re on their way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re not going anywhere Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI fired them\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you tell me why you want to fire them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to fire them.\u201d Joe holstered his revolver before he turned to stare at his brother. \u201cThey\u2019re fired. Pay them, and get them off the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot until you tell me why.\u201d Adam rested both hands on his hips.<\/span><\/p>\n

While Kit assisted Barney to his feet, Joe walked away, calling \u201cDrinking on the job,\u201d over his shoulder.<\/span><\/p>\n

From inside Hop Sing\u2019s domain, he stood at the open window and watched.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Waiting until he heard the side door to the kitchen slam shut, \u201cThat true?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSort a. Yeah.\u201d Barney nodded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you have to say?\u201d Adam crossed his arms, waiting.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe had no right to pull a gun on me!\u201d Kit argued.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, he didn\u2019t pull the trigger now, did he?\u201d Hoping to diffuse the situation. \u201cBarney admitted to drinking. What about you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I was drinking. Only I done my work,\u201d he added, trying to justify why.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know the rules. Follow me and I\u2019ll pay you off.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust because we\u2019s funin\u2019 about\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShut up Kit!\u201d hissed Barney.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Supper was a strained affair for the family, even though Hop Sing had set an immaculate table of roast pork, potatoes, and rolls.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam said you fired two men today,\u201d Ben mentioned.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCare to tell me why?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Looking pointedly to his oldest brother, \u201cAdam didn\u2019t tell you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d like to hear it from you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey broke the rules.\u201d Joe reached for his coffee cup.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I do forbid drinking on the job.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut if\u2019n their work was finished\u2026\u201d Hoss offered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019d finished what they were assigned to do, but others were still out working and not twenty minutes later Abe reported problems with the north herd,\u201d Joe answered in a monotone voice. \u201cWork is done, when work is done. Not just jobs assigned.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere had to be more\u2019n that little brother. Barney\u2019s been with us a while,\u201d pleaded Hoss.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d also like to know why you felt compelled to draw your weapon on them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Deliberately Joe set his cup aside, cold eyes turned to his oldest brother as he answered their father, \u201cTo get my point across.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not good enough Joe,\u201d Adam answered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTwo to one and one getting ready to sucker punch me\u2026 That\u2019s all you need to know.\u201d Joe stood and left the table with Ben calling after him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBarney said Joe was the first to throw a punch.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? I just don\u2019t understand that boy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe don\u2019t throw first unless he\u2019s pushed to,\u201d Hoss offered before lifting a heaping fork of mashed potatoes to his mouth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKit did try to say they were only funning\u2026\u201d Adam admitted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat had ta be it then. The other day, Charlie told me he skedaddled Barney away from the deck. You don\u2019t think he heard you goin\u2019 on about Miss Julia.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s all I need, the men to overhear our petty squabbles.\u201d Disgustedly Ben slammed down his fork. \u201cWhen will it ever end?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Father and sons looked up at hearing the pounding of hoof beats echoing away from the ranch house.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust when I get him home,\u201d Ben bemoaned.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss and Adam had bid goodnight an hour before Joe returned to the house. The fire was banked, and a solitary figure sat, waiting while his youngest quietly closed the massive door.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa.\u201d Joe hesitated mid-stride before coming to stand in the middle of the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe need to talk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nothing to talk about. I\u2019m part owner in this ranch, and if my word isn\u2019t good enough to fire those two\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis has nothing to do\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t it?!\u201d Joe turned indignantly. \u201cThey broke the rules! I\u2019ve been pulling more than my weight around here lately! Isn\u2019t that what you and Adam wanted?! I think I\u2019ve done more than enough to earn your respect as well as that of the hands.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, you don\u2019t have to earn my respect. You have that unconditionally.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, well\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stood, approaching his youngest. \u201cIt really wasn\u2019t about their drinking was it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPart of it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSince they were drinking, I can guess the rest of it, considering recent events.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry I sullied your good name.\u201d With that, Joe took the stairs two at a time.<\/span><\/p>\n

Stopping the other side of the wall at the top of the stairs, he heard Ben\u2019s plea, \u201cJoe, what am I going to do with you? Marie, how can I get him past his loss of that woman?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Looking back, it wasn\u2019t the loss of Julia that drove him, it was the disappointment he saw in his father\u2019s face when someone made mention of her. No one remembered the good she did during the epidemic; all they focused on was what turned out to be their torrid affair.<\/span><\/p>\n

In time, they did forget, but not Joe. He continued to throw himself in to working the ranch as much to get away from the pain as to prove to his family that he was worthy of the Cartwright name.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

So far, he\u2019d managed to address the letter to his father and state that he was okay. He\u2019d wrote of dreaming he was riding a bronc only to be rudely awakened by the earthquake, and for the next two days had helped out as best he could.<\/span><\/p>\n

As he thought what next to write, he remembered how just a few hours before, he heard the word he had dreamed would never be after the death of Alice and their unborn baby.<\/span><\/p>\n

Julia had encouraged Aurie to sit next to her on the bed. She recounted her description of the girl\u2019s father, the cowboy version of a knight in shining armor, and introduced Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDaddy?!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Joe whispered, enfolding the child in his arms as she wrapped herself around Joe\u2019s waist.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

With pen in hand, Joe continued to write.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa, I need to stay in San Francisco for a few more weeks. Something personal has come up. I know you trust me to do what is right, only this time, doing what\u2019s right is no longer an option. So I\u2019m doing the next best thing.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s difficult to write what I need to say, and there\u2019s no other way than to say it. I found Julia. Julia Bulette is alive. Paul has a lot of explaining to do, as do you.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Joe finished writing his letter, there would be disappointment in his father\u2019s heart when he read the news. However, Joe knew it would be better to forewarn his father than to step off the stage and introduce him to his granddaughter.<\/span><\/p>\n

With the envelope addressed, he blew out the lantern. Knowing the night would be too short, he curled up on one of the long, chaise lounges in the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

A young boy wearing baggy clothes, the one who had been running errands for the doctor, and now Joe, waited for the man to see him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe tailor said he\u2019d be here later today. But in the meantime,\u201d the boy held out a package wrapped in brown paper, \u201che sent some clothes he thought might fit so you could change.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGuess it would be best for me to shower and shave. I must look a sight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve seen worse mister.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Julia woke, blinking her eyes, it hadn\u2019t been a dream; there he sat in a chair next to her bed. A properly cleaned and dressed Joe greeted, \u201cGood Morning sleepy head.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not a dream\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m real.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHave you been there all night?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I slept for a while downstairs.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid Mrs. Chambers see you come in?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t matter. I\u2019m planning to speak with her husband a little later. I don\u2019t want her to bother you again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, don\u2019t. It\u2019s not the first time someone\u2019s looked down on me. I\u2019ve lived my whole life with it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut not as the mother of my daughter.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, even then.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen I\u2019ll put a stop to it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, don\u2019t tell them you\u2019re her father.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? Why should I hide the fact that she\u2019s my daughter?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want them to take their pettiness out on you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t think they\u2019ll be able to see the truth? The only reason we\u2019re not husband and wife\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Both looked to the door at hearing a knock.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome in,\u201d Julia called.<\/span><\/p>\n

A colored, matronly woman entered the room, \u201cOh, Miss Julia!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCecelia, you\u2019re alright?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMa\u2019am, don\u2019t go frettin\u2019 about me.\u201d She walked across the floor, stopping at the foot of the bed. \u201cIt\u2019s you whose needed cared for. I\u2019s just sorry I couldn\u2019t get here any sooner.\u201d She eyed the man standing beside the bed, noticing Julia held fast to his hand. \u201cMr. Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The smile on Julia\u2019s face was the only answer she really needed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter seven<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPleased ta meet ya, Mr. Joe. Now young man, you best leave me to helpin\u2019 the Misses with her morning. I do think that Missy Aurie might like to see you. She\u2019s frettin\u2019 over a number of them good folk downstairs who be ailin\u2019.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Once downstairs, he was distracted when Doctor Chambers called out, requesting his help.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mrs. Chambers scowled, seeing him step from the staircase and approached. \u201cShe\u2019s your problem now. Don\u2019t want nuthin\u2019 to do with the likes of her.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhich suits me just fine. And if I hear you say one more word to denigrate Miss Bulette or her daughter, you will have me to deal with.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Worried eyes flashed in indignation. \u201cAre you threatening me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t threaten women.\u201d Joe walked away.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Over an hour had passed before he checked the parlors and located Aurie fluffing the pillow behind a woman whose head bore a blood stained bandage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Lancaster, I hope you\u2019ll be more comfortable now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be more comfortable when I can get out of this God\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Lancaster,\u201d Doc Chambers took umbrage as he moved past him standing in the doorway. \u201cBe thankful Miss Bulette opened her doors to take in those in need.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStill\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAurie, why don\u2019t you see if the gentleman at the door would like a cup of coffee? I think you\u2019re due a break.\u201d The doctor genuinely smiled at the young girl.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes doctor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe turned and stepped back, allowing Aurie to step into the hallway. Innocent eyes looked up to him, searching. Slowly the young girl took his hand to lead him to the kitchen. As they walked, something awoke, flooding him with feelings of regret and love.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Did Adam feel something like this when he returned home from college? All he missed in seeing me grow up?\u2019<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Sitting at the table, Joe watched his daughter pour a cup of coffee and a glass of milk before sitting down in the chair to the right of him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like you got about as much sleep as I did,\u201d she commented after taking a drink.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cProbably.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid you love momma?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI did, and I still do. Aurie, if I knew\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t. Momma said you didn\u2019t know about me. Doesn\u2019t do any good to wonder what if.\u201d Aurie played with the glass. She couldn\u2019t look at the man who was her father. It had been different in her mother\u2019s bedroom, the idea that she really did have a father and that he was there with them had thrilled her, and \u2018daddy\u2019 eagerly came out. But she\u2019d had time to think; \u2018What\u2019s going to happen after momma dies?\u2019<\/em>, \u201cAre you going to leave me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo. You\u2019ll be coming home with me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause your mother asked me to finish raising you, see that you became a proper lady.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat the only reason?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d Joe hesitated. \u201cI love your mother, and though we\u2019ve only known each other for a few hours\u2026 Last night you called me daddy.\u201d Joe reached out to Aurie, lifting her quivering chin. \u201cMy heart opened and my love for you blossomed. You\u2019re a part of me, and your mother. I think we need each other.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Slipping from her chair, with tears trailing down angel-like cheeks, Aurie wrapped her arms around Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cecelia entered the kitchen and smiled at the scene, \u2018fairy tales do come true,\u2019 <\/em>and began humming.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you dry your eyes and help Miss Cecelia fix Momma\u2019s breakfast, and I think you should spend the morning with your mother.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Seeing a man with his arms stuck in a sink, washing dishes, amused Cecelia when she returned to the kitchen carrying the tray bearing what was left from the lunches for the mother and daughter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMissy Aurie\u2019s curled up with her. They\u2019s sleepin\u2019.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou care about her,\u201d Joe answered, taking the burden from the woman, he followed her back to the sink.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThem both. And I do. If it weren\u2019t for the Misses, Lord knows where I\u2019d be.\u201d Using the apron to wipe her hands, she turned. \u201cWhy\u2019d you come?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t know. It\u2019s purely by chance that I\u2019m here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Looking him straight in the eye, she asked, \u201cYou gonna do right by her?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI already asked, she said it was too late.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s a proud woman.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat she is.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Titling her head to the side, she took a strong moment to evaluate the man who stood before her. She knew that he\u2019d been a young man, not yet having reached his majority when the two had fallen in love. The grey in his hair belied his age, as did the yearning and pain she saw in his eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou wanna know what happened after she done left?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded, \u201cI do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know the Misses won\u2019t tell ya.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Mrs. Chambers entered the room and made her distaste known, \u201cThere\u2019s a man in the foyer to see Mr. Cartwright.\u201d She emphasized the title in front of his name.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll talk later. When there\u2019s not ears listenin\u2019.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe left the kitchen to greet the tailor. The two entered a private room that had been set aside for the doctor to use when not treating his patients. An hour later, with measurements taken, the man promised to be back the following morning with clothes to suit his client.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Ben had worried for days, waiting for any news. When he heard Jamison call out from across the street, he didn\u2019t know what to feel when told that there was a letter waiting for him from San Francisco. Taking the envelope, he immediately he recognized his son\u2019s distinctive handwriting. Ripping it open, a huge burden lifted from his shoulders when he learned that Joe was safe and uninjured.<\/span><\/p>\n

With the letter crumpled in his hand, Ben strode directly to Paul Martin\u2019s medical clinic.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Minutes later, after carefully slipping the sheet of paper back inside the envelope, Paul could only answer, \u201cIt was what she asked, but I honestly didn\u2019t know about the rest.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Paul pulled two glasses from a lower desk drawer, as well as a bottle of brandy. He poured, handing one to Ben.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBen, it\u2019s a miracle she survived the surgery after Millain\u2019s attack. You must know that I wouldn\u2019t have agreed to help fake her death, if I\u2019d known Julia was pregnant.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben spoke, having swallowed half his drink, \u201cPregnant? What are you talking about?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJulia gave birth to a daughter.\u201d Paul held it out to Ben, \u201cYou didn\u2019t read the entire letter?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Taking the page, Ben scanned until he came to the part he hadn\u2019t read.<\/span><\/p>\n

Regardless of what happened in the past, I feel I need to be here. Julia is dying of cancer. I\u2019ve agreed to stay until . . .\u00a0 She\u2019s asked me to be the executor of her estate.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Pa, before I return home, I need to ask Hop Sing to ready one of the guest rooms upstairs for a little girl. Please use the room next mine. Her name is Josephine Marie, but she goes by Aurie. Short for Aura Lee.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

She\u2019s thirteen with bright, expressive green eyes and curly brown hair. What little time I\u2019ve spent with her, I get the feeling she\u2019s going to be a mischief maker, just like her father.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The tearstains on the page didn\u2019t go unnoticed, and Ben feared what was coming next.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s my daughter, Pa.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Joseph.\u201d Ben sat heavily into a chair.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt appears Julia gave birth to Joe\u2019s child.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo it\u2019s true?\u201d Ben looked to his friend.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe must believe her.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you didn\u2019t know?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I didn\u2019t now she was pregnant. There was no indication.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut she entertained men\u2026 Who\u2019s to say she was faithful to Joe. There was Millain.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere is always that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe Joe\u2019s reacting to still losing Alice and the baby?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Standing, he walked over and stood in front of his friend, \u201cBen, Joe\u2019s a grown man.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben inhaled deeply, \u201cYou\u2019re right. Joe is a grown man.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter Eight<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Night had settled; it had been days since anyone had been found alive, or dead.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s time,\u201d Cecelia stated, setting aside her apron.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe carried the tray with two glasses and a pitcher of lemonade, following the woman out to the backyard. They took seats on the bench swing hanging from an old oak tree. Pale moonlight filtered through the branches that reached for the sky.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

After satiating their thirsts, Cecelia started, \u201cI met Julia in San Francisco, she\u2019d come see the doctor about an injury and illness\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMa\u2019am, your wound is healing nicely. Whoever the physician was who operated did a remarkable job. I\u2019d say in a few more weeks you won\u2019t have any more discomfort. Just a scar.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He washed his hands at the sink along the far wall. \u201cYou can get dressed now,\u201d spoke the elderly doctor who had finished removing the stitches from the woman\u2019s side. \u201cBut I do want to see you back in two weeks, just to make sure.\u201d He smiled warmly. \u201cYou\u2019re pretty lucky to be alive, that wound could have killed you, and I\u2019m surprised that your bout with pneumonia didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow much do I owe you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll settle up when you\u2019re completely back on your feet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you.\u201d She buttoned her blouse.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Julia Bulette prepared to exit the examination office and nodded to the matronly looking colored woman\u00a0 cleaning up after the doctor.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoc Troup take good care of ya, ma\u2019am?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI beg your pardon?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI knows you been sick, and Doc done a good job a seein\u2019 ya through. I kept an eye on ya when yous really sick and the doctor had to leave to see other patients.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, he\u2019s done a fine job taking care of me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGlad ta see ya lookin\u2019 so much better. There for a while I wasn\u2019t too sure yous gonna pull through. I hope ya don\u2019t mind, but I said a few prayers for ya, ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you. It\u2019s been a long time since anyone has done that for me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Four weeks had passed since her last visit to Doctor Troup.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow Miss Julia, you were very sickly when you first arrived. I can\u2019t blame you for still feeling weak and nauseous. You suffered a grave trauma, it\u2019s a miracle you survived the attack. And pneumonia isn\u2019t a trifling matter.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Exiting the examination room, the daily bout returned.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m so sorry, Cecelia.\u201d Julia looked embarrassed at not being able to prevent her stomach\u2019s upheaval there on the recently cleaned floor.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMa\u2019am, how long you been feelin\u2019 this pee-ked?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLonger than I should, if the doctor is right that my wound healed properly.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s been healed up a long time. If I had anythin\u2019 to say, I believe your sickness ain\u2019t got nothin\u2019 to do with that. My eyes tell me yous the kind a woman who enjoyed her man.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat was a long time ago,\u201d Julia whispered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot too long ago, ya\u2019s only barely showing\u2026 maybe four months along.\u201d Watching the woman closely, “You ain\u2019t got no idea, do ya. Misses, yous carryin\u2019 yer husband\u2019s child.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Julia\u2019s hands strayed to her stomach.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou thought she was married?\u201d Joe interrupted. \u201cI wondered why you called her misses all the time.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe never said she wasn\u2019t. It wasn\u2019t until later she told me the truth. Don\u2019t get me wrong, she\u2019s a good woman.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u201cHow\u2019d you figure out she was pregnant if the doctor couldn\u2019t?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBack in New Orleans, my mammy and auntie were mid-wives. I learned from them. Helped deliver many babes, some alive, some dead. Old Gabe, I mean Doc Troup, he was a good man, but he didn\u2019t know much about women, if ya understand. If a woman weren\u2019t married, it couldn\u2019t happen. Back home, he\u2019d a died ages ago, if he knew all I\u2019d seen. The masters and their friends…\u201d Shaking her head, \u201cThat\u2019s a different story.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou were a slave?\u201d Joe asked meekly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pshawing with her hand, \u201cLordy, that\u2019s ancient history, and you\u2019d not be too keen in hearin\u2019 all that. Mr. Lincoln set us free a long time ago. Let me tell you more about Miss Julia.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe formed a close friendship\u2026 had too. Doc Troup passed in his sleep a few weeks later. She\u2019d already purchased the Silver Bullet afore she knew she had a life inside \u2018er. I had a good laugh when she asked me to come work for her.\u201d Mirth shown in the woman\u2019s eyes as she recounted those early days together. \u201cI\u2019s long past the time when I could pleasure a man.\u201d She watched and smiled at the rose color in Joe\u2019s cheeks. \u201cTurns out she wanted someone to help with her girls. Make sure they received proper care, someone ta help mother \u2018em. Better me than some of the doctors, now Doc Chambers, he different. He don\u2019t care what a woman do, he live those hippocradic words.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve seen good and bad doctors, and it has nothing to do with the patient\u2019s profession.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEven so, Mrs. Chambers ain\u2019t too keen on him being here. Wish he\u2019d been here in the beginning. Did ya know I helped birth Missy Aurie.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure Julia was happy to have your help. Ceclia, when is Aurie\u2019s birthday?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMiddle of June, the 18th<\/sup>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did the calculations.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe the most perfect baby I\u2019d ever helped inta this world. Still is.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Cecelia paused in telling their story to refill Joe\u2019s glass. She looked long and hard at her new friend, trying to determine if she should continue. \u201cGuess you want to know about her and the Silver Bullet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201dWhen the babe was old enough ta be weaned, she\u2019d leave Missy Aurie with me to take the more important men upstairs. They\u2019d come down later, all puffed up and smilin\u2019. But not the Misses\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong Ma\u2019am?\u201d Cecelia inquired after retrieving Julia\u2019s gown that had just been tossed over the room divider standing in the corner.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNothing,\u201d Julia walked out from behind, tying the sash of the loosely closed robe around her waist.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI knows that ain\u2019t quite the truth. You thinkin\u2019 of your lost man? Your husband? What he be thinkin\u2019 about you takin\u2019 them to your bed?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Taking a seat on an overstuffed bench seat in front of her dressing table, Julia picked up the brush and looked into the mirror, \u201cI guess you should know the truth. We weren\u2019t married. Oh, he did propose.\u201d She began stroking her long hair.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe made love ta ya, and left ya afore ya could see the preacher?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI never gave him an answer. He went home. Hours later, a former lover came.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHis?\u201d Cecelia\u2019s eyes widened.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, mine.\u201d Julia lowered her hands to her lap and closed her eyes. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t. I couldn\u2019t. Joe made me see something in myself. Even though we gave them blue noses Hell, I realized I wasn\u2019t good enough for him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d With the dress still in her arms, Cecelia sat on the edge of the settee along the near wall.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJean threatened to kill Joe if I didn\u2019t leave with him. I knew regardless of what I did, he\u2019d kill Joe, just because of me. So I fought him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHim\u2019s the one who caused that wound?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Julia nodded. \u201cJean ran. While waiting for the doctor, I realized, I had to leave. If I stayed, Joe would constantly be in danger. Even if they did catch Jean.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid they?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes. He escaped later, or at least tried to; he was killed during the firefight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s family needed him more.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFamily? He already had a family?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot the way you\u2019re thinking. Joe still lived with his father and two older brothers. He wasn\u2019t even eighteen years old.\u201d Julia\u2019s eyes glazed over, \u201cHe wasn\u2019t worldly, but he learned to please me more than any man before. Made me feel something that I thought had died years before.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that\u2019s what\u2019s ailin\u2019 ya now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know I\u2019m not supposed to get attached to my customers, but he was more than that. I\u2019ve never met anyone like him, before or after\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen don\u2019t do it.\u00a0\u00a0 Don\u2019t look for love where it ain\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I told her. And I tells you, the only one she loves more \u2018an she loved you is that little girl ya gave her. And now that I sees ya with my own eyes, there\u2019s no one else coulda be that little girl\u2019s papa. She\u2019s the splittin\u2019 image a ya.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t she sell out and come back to Virginia City?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe had her girls ta think about. This place became somethin\u2019 because a Miss Julia. Them girls look up to her. And I guess she liked toyin\u2019 with the likes of Mrs. Chambers and all them other blue noses.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

They both sipped from their glasses. Joe looked up in time to see a shooting star streaking across the night-time sky.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Julia say yer family needed ya more \u2018an she did. Deep down, that\u2019s why she left.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut I needed her.\u201d With the glass held in both hands, Joe leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo ya didn\u2019t. Ya done fine without her.\u201d Cecelia petted Joe on the shoulder, \u201cI can see what kind of a man ya grew ta be, ya done good.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The two quietly sat under the oak tree, Joe sat up, gently pushing the swing back and forth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Joe\u2026\u201d She recognized his guilt and knew she needed to say more. \u201cIf\u2019n ya\u2019d know about Missy Aurie, you\u2019d a come?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI would have.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCan ya understand why she didn\u2019t write ya, tell ya she was alive?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo. That\u2019s what hurts the most. I loved her. I would have given her the world.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut ya couldn\u2019t have. Not really. You was still a child yerself. Mr. Joe, I may be speakin\u2019 outa line, but if you look deep inside, ya know ya weren\u2019t ready to take on a wife, even if ya didn\u2019t know about the child. Maybe love woulda been enough, maybe not.\u201d Turning sideways on the bench seat to face Joe, \u201cJoe, you\u2019s here now, and maybe now is when the Good Lord figures yous finally ready to take care of Miss Julia and Missy Aurie.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTake care of Julia? She\u2019s dying.\u201d Joe wiped at an errant tear. \u201cHow long has Julia been sick?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFor some time. Doc says she\u2019s been sick inside longer than she knowed. Doc Chambers don\u2019t figure she\u2019s much longer ta live.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI should have been here all along.\u201d Joe\u2019s fist clinched open and closed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cecelia reached for his hand. \u201cBut yous here now. When it really matters. She\u2019s gonna pass with the man she loves by her side. Just bein\u2019 here is comfortin\u2019 to her.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Letting go of Joe\u2019s hand, Cecelia gave him time to think. She sat beside him, humming a song that many a soldier sang of an evening as they thought on the girl they left behind; the battle for the day over.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know that\u2019s the song Julia chose to give Aurie her nickname.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe told me. In a way it\u2019s a sad song for such a lively child.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLost loves.\u201d Joe continued to push the swing back and forth. \u201cI\u2019ve never been a father.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFrom what I seen, you\u2019re doin\u2019 fine.\u201d Cecelia patted his knee again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI wish I could be as confident as you sound.\u201d Joe turned to face the woman. \u201cCecelia, when I head back home, why don\u2019t you come back to Virginia City with me? To help with Aurie?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMercy, ain\u2019t you somethin\u2019. I can see why the Misses loves ya. Nah, I cain\u2019t go with ya, I\u2019m too set in my ways. \u2018Sides, I\u2019m needed here; the misses\u2019 girls and this place need someone to take care of them, now that Miss Julia won\u2019t be here. Joe, don\u2019t use me as a crutch. You need time with Aurie to learn about her, and her about you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter Nine<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Joe eased Julia back to her pillows after tossing the blood covered handkerchief into the chamber pot beside the bed. Joining her on the bed, he sat with his back to the headboard and an arm around Julia\u2019s shoulders, \u201cHave you decided on a\u2026 a place to be buried?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLike any church would have me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat of Father O\u2019Reilly. Wouldn\u2019t his parish?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe passed away five years ago. And the new priest was anything but cordial.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Waiting for another coughing attack to ease, \u201cJulia, you have a real fancy headstone in Virginia City.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou?\u201d she managed to ask.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. And some of the members of the fire department.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She shook her head from side to side in disbelief. She hadn\u2019t heard that part of her past.<\/span><\/p>\n

Taking her hand, \u201cJulia, I loved you. I still do. I thought it was the least you deserved.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Into the darkest part of the night, Joe sat beside the mother of his daughter, holding her hand. Beside the bed, Cecelia stood with her arms protectively wrapped around Aurie\u2019s shoulders. They all waited for Doctor Chambers to speak.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pulling his stethoscope from his ears, the man nodded, \u201cI\u2019m sorry. But she\u2019s finally at peace.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Cecelia and the doctor watched Joe climb from the bed and approach his daughter; the two left the room with tear-streaked faces.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that young man going to do now?\u201d the doctor asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s gonna take his wife and his daughter home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo they were married?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes. It\u2019s a shame too. Them thinkin\u2019 the other dead all this time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t know why she never told no one.\u201d Closing his black case, \u201cWell, I\u2019ll have Joshua from the funeral parlor stop by. He\u2019ll be able to prepare her body for transport.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

The driver of the coach left the occupants to their privacy, he\u2019d heard the news of Miss Julia\u2019s failing health and of her long-lost husband\u2019s return. In the aftermath of the earthquake he\u2019d helped with the search and rescue, and grieved once the rescue effort was concluded. If anything good could have come from the earthquake, he thanked providence for the lovers being reunited before it was too late.<\/span><\/p>\n

Urging the horses to pick up their tempo, he moved beyond the blocks of wreckage located in the far northern section of San Francisco. He signaled the team to halt in front of The Palace Hotel. The young man exited the coach, gently guiding his sleepy daughter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll follow with your luggage and will see that your daughter\u2019s trunk is placed in storage until you\u2019re ready to head home Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

That night, after a quiet supper the two sat next to each other and stared into the fireplace in the sitting room of the suite Joe reserved; his arm wrapped across his daughter\u2019s shoulders.<\/span><\/p>\n

It was long past any normal time for bed before Joe lifted the covers, encouraging Aurie to slip between the sheets of the single bed in the smaller room. At thirteen he thought she might be too old for dolls, but said nothing when she pulled a China doll from her traveling bag and cuddled it closely.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Aubrey.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s beautiful.\u201d Joe tucked in the covers. Sweeping bangs from her forehead with one hand, he wiped away tears with the other. \u201cJust like you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMomma was prettier.\u201d Aurie sniffled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll grow up to be just as pretty.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Aurie snuggled into the warmth of the bed. \u201cDaddy, what\u2019s\u2026home like?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa always described it as heaven on Earth.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYour Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYour grandfather. Our ranch is called the Ponderosa. If there\u2019s a more beautiful place in the world, I\u2019ve never been there.\u201d Joe took time to describe the land and the animals.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo I have any brothers or sisters? Momma told me you were married.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI was, but she died.\u201d Joe couldn\u2019t bring himself to tell the whole truth, at least not how Alice died.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe struggled, two lost loves. How much like his father was his life mirroring. \u201cAs for family, you\u2019ve a grandfather, and two uncles, and then there\u2019s Hop Sing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe helped raise me after my momma died. He\u2019s our cook, housekeeper, and an accepted member of our family. As for your Uncle Jamie, Pa adopted him. He\u2019s about ready to finish school. He\u2019s your only uncle who lives at the ranch with us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s been a long time since Adam left home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut if it was heaven, why\u2019d he leave?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI asked myself that many times. I\u2019ve asked myself why I stayed.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe realized he\u2019d spoken the last aloud when Aurie asked, \u201cYou wanted to leave.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI could have left, set out to follow my own dream, like your Uncle Adam, but the Ponderosa was my life. Not too long ago, I hated it and everything about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d Her innocent eyes expressed her confusion.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou had another uncle, Hoss. He was my middle brother. He died. It was a stupid accident. It shouldn\u2019t have happened. And then I lost Alice.\u201d Tears he thought under control slipped from his eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut you stayed?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I stayed, for Pa and Jamie.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sorry you stayed?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pausing before answering, there were so many more good times than bad. For the first time that day a smile broached his face, \u201cNo, sweetheart. I think if I had left like Adam, I never would have found you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Sitting in front of the fireplace, Joe absent-mindedly swirled the brandy in the glass, his hand holding the tumbler dangled off the end of the armchair.<\/span><\/p>\n

Just like he thought she had been all those years ago; Julia would be laid to rest in Virginia City. Arrangements had already been made to transport her coffin. There had been no funeral the day before, just a time of visitation for those friends and employees to say goodbye. The breadth of people who showed up didn\u2019t surprise Joe, Julia had been beautiful and a successful businesswoman.<\/span><\/p>\n

The gown Cecelia had chosen would have matched her eyes perfectly. Her hair, showing distinguished streaks of gray, cascaded past her shoulders. Her hands lightly crossed over her abdomen, holding an embroidered handkerchief.<\/span><\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t see Cecelia bite her lip while watching him slip a gold band on Julia\u2019s left ring finger. He leaned over and gently kissed her lips.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGoodbye my love. Thank you for Aurie.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

During the whole afternoon, Joe never corrected Cecelia\u2019s telling of how husband and wife each thought the other dead and the miracle of their reunion. He knew she accepted theirs as a marriage of hearts.<\/span><\/p>\n

There were some who might have disputed the telling, but people have to search to see the truth, and for most, gossip was loose and fast, who cared if it was factual. Tomorrow there would be someone or something else for their fodder. Just like in Virginia City, Julia Bulette would be forgotten except for the tombstone. And now, the cemetery back home would truly be the final resting place for one Julia Bulette sans Cartwright.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter Ten<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Two businessmen stepped aside, allowing the father to assist his child up into the stage coach for the long trip. At first the group chatted about where they had been and their destinations. As their journey progressed, Joe quieted allowing Aurie to rest, lying on the bench seat with her head on Joe\u2019s thigh.<\/span><\/p>\n

The stage stopped at the final weigh station before Virginia City, and while the others ate a mid-afternoon meal, Joe walked outside trying to organize his thoughts. He turned to find Aurie approaching.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid you finish eating?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Aurie walked beside him, Joe shortened his stride.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you worried about going home?\u201d she asked taking his hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSome.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWill grandfather be mad at you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI honestly don\u2019t know.\u201d Joe stopped, turned and sat on the lip of the water trough. Taking his daughter\u2019s hands in his, \u201cIf Pa is mad, it\u2019s at me, not you. He\u2019ll bluster for a while over what I did a long time ago.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause of you and Momma?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause of how I behaved. Pa has expectations of his sons, and I let him down.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Aurie turned Joe\u2019s words over in her mind. \u201cWhat will he expect of me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I think he\u2019ll look for you to become a proper young lady. But with me as your father, I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll also expect a certain amount of mischief.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

The stage rolled across the land bringing Virginia City into sight, yet Joe Cartwright wished he was back in San Francisco. His mind\u2019s eye focused on the disappointment he expected when he finally faced his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Three weeks had passed since Ben had received Joe\u2019s letter, and one day since receiving his wire. Beneath the usual address and headings was a simple message.<\/span><\/p>\n

Home tomorrow, late stage\u00a0 \/stop\/<\/span>
\n Love, Joe and Aurie\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \/stop\/<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Jamie stood on the boardwalk waiting for the late afternoon stage. From the boardwalk, Sheriff Clem Foster had watched the small procession arrive in town earlier; Jamie driving Ben in the surrey while Candy followed behind with the buckboard.<\/span><\/p>\n

Standing at his office window, Paul watched in amusement as Ben repeatedly pulled out his pocket watch to check the time. \u201cThey\u2019ll get here when they get here Ben. They call the stage \u2018late\u2019 for a reason,\u201d Paul spoke out loud to no one.<\/span><\/p>\n

Moments later, the clatter of hooves and billowing dust announced the arrival of the stage.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

The businessmen were first to disembark. Smiling, they touched the brims of their hats in acknowledgement, before turning to take their luggage from the shotgun rider up top.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stepped to the edge of the boardwalk.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Joe wearily climbed out. Taking his father\u2019s hand, he pulled him into a hug and whispered, \u201cI\u2019m sorry Pa. I\u2019m so sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Returning the hug in earnest, \u201cWe can talk tonight.\u201d His hand patted his son\u2019s back while he spoke.<\/span><\/p>\n

Relief flooded Joe at the phrasing of their future discussion; it wasn\u2019t the serious, \u2018We\u2019ll talk later,\u2019 he\u2019d thought of during their trip.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe turned and reached inside, offering Aurie his hand. Ben gasped. The young girl who stepped into the sunlight wore a green traveling skirt and jacket, a tan blouse with black gloves and a matching cowboy hat. With his thoughts to himself, Ben swore she could have been Joe\u2019s twin at that age. Now he understood how Joe could accept Julia\u2019s word without question.<\/span><\/p>\n

Standing behind his daughter, with both hands on her shoulders, Joe spoke, \u201cPa, Jamie, I\u2019d like you to meet Josephine Marie Cartwright.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Aurie looked up to the man standing behind her and squealed, \u201cDaddy!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut she prefers to be called Aurie. Aurie, I\u2019d like you to meet your Uncle Jamie, and your Grandfather.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHowdy,\u201d Jamie offered before finally remembering to remove his hat.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAurie, you can call me Grandpa Ben.\u201d Reaching out, he enveloped the young teen in his arms.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPleased to meet you both,\u201d she answered and curtsied once set to her feet.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd this here is Mr. Canaday. He\u2019s our foreman.\u201d Joe pulled his friend away from claiming their luggage and trunk from the coach.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Aurie.\u201d Candy tipped his hat.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Canaday.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

From the corner of his eye, Joe saw Paul step from his office and walk towards them.<\/span><\/p>\n

With their belongings securely tied to the buckboard, Candy took the reins and headed the team to the Ponderosa.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cautiously, Paul approached the Cartwrights.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPaul,\u201d Joe greeted and helped Aurie to her seat in the surrey.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPaul!\u201d Ben greeted with enthusiasm. \u201cI\u2019d like you to meet my granddaughter, Aurie.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter Eleven<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Father and grandfather had tucked Aurie into bed and bid the child goodnight before returning downstairs. Ben filled two glasses with brandy from the decanter that sat on the round table by the bookcase. Handing one to Joe, he said, \u201cHave a seat son. I\u2019m ready to listen.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe followed his father\u2019s bidding. After taking a brief sip, he rolled the glass between his hands, elbows on his knees. The glow of the fire reflected on tears streaming down his face.<\/span><\/p>\n

Patiently, Ben waited. He knew this son of his well, and realized Joe was probably beating himself up over the past. His own words would weigh on what his son said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid you know?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot until I received your letter. It wasn\u2019t a pleasant scene when I confronted Paul.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. All of a sudden I was seventeen years old again. There was Julia. There was no Alice. All my hopes and dreams of a future were right there. For that split second, Adam was harping on me for being such a fool, and telling me that I was no competition for Jean Millain. And Hoss\u2026\u201d Joe\u2019s voice quieted, \u201cHoss was alive.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt must have been quite a shock.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cProbably about as bad as reading my letter.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe didn\u2019t know she was pregnant until long after she left town.\u201d Joe took another sip. \u201cDid you know she did it for you? You convinced her, you convinced her that you weren\u2019t through helping me grow up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry if my words implied that you were still a child.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, she never thought that.\u201d Good naturedly Joe gave a brief huff, and remembered their first night together. The first time he stood in front of a woman truly wearing nothing more than what God had given him. There had been trysts with saloon girls before, but those excursions never equaled what he had with Julia from the very first night.<\/span><\/p>\n

Together they eyed each other, Joe tentatively stepped forward. Moments later their bodies entwined. Everything about her overwhelmed him; her soft skin, the scent of her hair, the touch of her fingers as they traveled his flesh. Her whispered words encouraged him to discover what it really meant to be with a woman; fulfillment for both parties, not lust.<\/span><\/p>\n

His memories were as vivid as if it had only happened the day before, not almost fourteen years. Praying his father wouldn\u2019t realize where his thoughts were, \u201cShe felt you needed me more than she did. You weren\u2019t finished being my father.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll never finish being your father. Just like I\u2019ll never stop being Adam\u2019s or Jamie\u2019s, or even Hoss.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know. You were the best, especially after I lost Alice and the baby.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat would have happened to Aurie, had you not made this trip?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt was in her Will, I was to be informed. It was all up to me.\u201d He drank half the contents in the glass.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t she write to tell you once she knew?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause we thought her dead.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what of Aurie?\u201d Ben cautiously inquired.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s a Cartwright.\u201d Joe\u2019s eyes flared, he gripped the tumbler tighter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPeople will talk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe raised his hand and finished his drink; the burn inside translated into his words, \u201cLet them. I\u2019m done living my life to please those blue noses.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d Ben\u2019s voice warned, but his eyes said otherwise. Years had mellowed the man. Having lost three wives and a son to death, and another son somewhere out there exploring the world; he could finally admit to understanding what really drove this son so long ago. Live for today, because you\u2019re not promised a tomorrow.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jumping to his feet, \u201cI won\u2019t apologize. I know things happened for a reason. But I won\u2019t send my daughter away. If our friends can\u2019t understand that, then let he who is without sin be the first to cast stone. She has my name, and I won\u2019t deny her.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not asking that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Taking a seat on the low table to face his father, his words were passionately spoken, \u201cPa, I missed so much of her growing up. I wasn\u2019t there to hold her when she was minutes old, her first words, her first steps. Pa, you experienced all of those with us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Smiling, Ben nodded and inquired, \u201cWhat of Paul?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPaul?\u201d The change of subject caught Joe off guard.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoctor Martin. Can you find it within yourself to forgive him for the part he played in this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve had time to think. I may not like it, but there\u2019s nothing I can do about the past.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben took a sip of his brandy, leaving Joe to continue.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, even if I hadn\u2019t lost Alice and the baby, Aurie would still be my daughter, to take into my home, and my heart.\u201d Reaching for Ben\u2019s hand, \u201cAnd I would have still apologized to you for my actions from so long ago. I know you expected better of us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you\u2019ve grown into a man that any father would be proud to call son. We\u2019ve all made mistakes, and learned from them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you saying Aurie is a mistake?\u201d Joe pulled away from Ben, walked around the low table to stare into the fire.\u00a0 His tension was palpable, clinched jaw, clipped breath, left hand opening and closing into a fist where it rested against the mantle, foot raised to the hearthstones.<\/span><\/p>\n

Smoldering eyes had warned Ben to proceed with caution. \u201cNo, a child created in love is never a mistake. But the mistake I was referring to was my own. I\u2019ve come to understand a lot more about you<\/em> since I received your letter. Maybe if I\u2019d learned my lessons sooner, I could have understood what drove you.\u201d Ben\u2019s voice quavered, \u201cJoe, I need to ask, can you forgive me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou were only doing what you thought right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Resting a hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder, Ben stood behind his son, \u201cBut my actions robbed you of knowing Aurie.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u201d The tension dissolved leaving tearful emotions. \u201cBut it wasn\u2019t just you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

So many levels of grief shrouded Joe. Ben slipped away, crossing the floor to his desk. From the center drawer he extracted an envelope that showed signs of being crumpled and returned to where Joe stood.<\/span><\/p>\n

For three weeks he\u2019d kept the envelope, unable to throw it away after having read it all in Paul Martin\u2019s office. Absentmindedly it had been shoved into his vest pocket, intent on destroying it at home; horrors if anyone in town were to find it and read. Plans changed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou hear news from Lit\u2019le Joe?\u201d Hop Sing inquired as Ben slowly removed his holster and hat.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s safe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen he come home?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat keep Lit\u2019lt Joe away? No good not come home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, Joe wrote to ask if you would prepare the guest room next to his for a young girl.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYoung girl? Mister Joe too told for young girl. Not right,\u201d the faithful employee chattered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s for his daughter.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDaughter. How he have daughter?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all in his letter.\u201d Ben pulled the crumpled envelope from his vest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe write like Missy Marie?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Trust Hop Sing to remember how Marie had informed Ben that they were expecting a child. A note placed in Ben\u2019s saddle bags with his lunch announced that she had a new love. So long ago he\u2019d read the first sentence, anger and tears warred that his young bride had decided to leave him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben, <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

No longer can I love you as my husband. From the moment we held to each other after Darius died, your love has been given unconditionally, and my love for you has been given with the same heart. But you know as well as I, that our love was incomplete.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I have asked Hop Sing to prepare a spare room next to our bedroom for the new love in my life. Ben, I hope you will find it in your heart to love me as more than just your wife. With all my heart, I will be pledge to love you as the father of my child\u2026 our child.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Hurry home my love.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Marie<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy all crumpled.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI lost my temper.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou mad at Lit\u2019le Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know who I\u2019m mad at, Hop Sing. I wish I\u2019d never read this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt important to son to write, it important you read.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

On a rare occasion, Hop Sing touched his employer in a comforting gesture. \u201cHop Sing, not know how numba three son have daughter. But important he tell fatha.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI want to burn this.\u201d Ben raised the letter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo burn. You talk with Lit\u2019le Joe when he come home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Memories returned to the present, with Joe\u2019s letter in hand he wondered why he had not burned it as he originally planned. There was so much more bitterness and heartbreak within than what Marie had written so many years ago; how could he even compare the two?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou implied that I was partly at fault. I\u2019ll ask again, can you forgive me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re my father.\u201d Joe looked to Ben and what he held in his hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCan we put aside all the hurt? Can we become the family<\/em> that Aurie needs?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe are family.\u201d A smile and nod conveyed his forgiveness. \u201cI\u2019m probably going to make mistakes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAs will I.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben dropped the envelope. Taking hold, the fire brightened. The paper charred black before crumbling to ash.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

~The End<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Author\u2019s Notes<\/strong>: This story was inspired after submitting my Ponderosa Paddlewheel Poker Tournament story, If not for Aura Lee;<\/a> but is not a part of that story. One evening, my muse asked, \u2018What if Julia hadn\u2019t died?\u2019 Historically, Jean Millain was captured and subsequently hanged for her brutal murder. He claimed innocence stating he only helped steal her jewels.<\/span>
\nhttps:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Julia_Bulette<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

This story is WHI follow-up to The Julia Bulette Story and a WHN for Forever. I\u2019ve also referred to memories from the episodes listed. Thank you to their respective writers.<\/span><\/p>\n

A Home for Jamie, written by: \u00a0David Dortort, Jean Holloway<\/span>
\nFive Candles: \u00a0written by: David Dortort, Ken Trevey<\/span>
\nMarie, My Love: \u00a0Written by Anthony Lawrence, Anne Howard Bailey, David Dortort<\/span>
\nThe Grand Swing: \u00a0David Dortort, John Hawkins, Fred Hamilton, Ward Hawkins, Willim Woenig<\/span>
\nThe Mill: \u00a0written by: \u00a0Halsted Welles<\/span>
\nThe Phillip Diedesheimer story: \u00a0Written by: Thomas Thompson<\/span>
\nThe Julia Bulette Story: written by: Al C. Ward<\/span>
\nForever: written by Michael Landon, David Dortort<\/span><\/p>\n

Translation by Google Translate. My apologies for any mistakes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags: Ben Cartwright, earthquake, Grief, Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright, JPM<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: After concluding a business trip in San Francisco, Joe\u2019s life is forever changed.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (14,520 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":13411,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,7,23,41,1007,27,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-actionadventure","category-a-u","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","category-joe-cartwright","category-whi","category-whn","wpcat-2-id","wpcat-7-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id","wpcat-1007-id","wpcat-27-id","wpcat-13-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":3380,"today_views":3},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Emily.jpg?fit=391%2C455&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8446,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=8446","url_meta":{"origin":11530,"position":0},"title":"Between the Twelfth of Never and Forever… (by BluewindFarm)","author":"BluewindFarm","date":"June 16, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"SUMMARY:\u00a0 A time of contemplation as a man reflects on what's happened in the past, and what good could come from any of it. --\u00a0 \u2018How am I gonna be an optimist about this?\u2019 Rating: \u00a0K \u00a0(695 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/godshands.jpg?fit=1133%2C717&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/godshands.jpg?fit=1133%2C717&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/godshands.jpg?fit=1133%2C717&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/godshands.jpg?fit=1133%2C717&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/godshands.jpg?fit=1133%2C717&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2988,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2988","url_meta":{"origin":11530,"position":1},"title":"A Night In San Francisco (by frasrgrl)","author":"frasrgrl","date":"June 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 \u00a0Adam and Joe are in San Francisco and all Adam wants is one night of culture.\u00a0 Word Count: 502\u00a0\u00a0Rated: T","rel":"","context":"In "Chaps and Spurs"","block_context":{"text":"Chaps and Spurs","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=39"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/jb.jpg?fit=720%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/jb.jpg?fit=720%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/jb.jpg?fit=720%2C480&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/jb.jpg?fit=720%2C480&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":17415,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=17415","url_meta":{"origin":11530,"position":2},"title":"In Loving Remembrance (by Hart4Ben)","author":"Hart4Ben","date":"June 10, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Adam's post canon tribute to Hoss. 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