{"id":11899,"date":"2001-02-15T11:16:04","date_gmt":"2001-02-15T16:16:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=11899"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:04:37","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:04:37","slug":"the-cartwright-curse-by-helena","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=11899","title":{"rendered":"The Cartwright Curse (by Helen A)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, the curse of having to appease Pa with his friends.\u00a0 Who knew what a disaster it would lead to?<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (4,430 words)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Cartwright Curse<\/strong><\/p>\n

Chapter 1<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy life is over!\u201d declared Little Joe. \u201cI want to go to the dance tonight with Maryann and Ginger, they both asked me and I said yes already! You can\u2019t make me take Cousin Dobie\u2019s ugly daughter Pa, you just can\u2019t!\u201d As he looked into the hard-hearted, unfeeling, uncaring, unsympathetic and just downright mean face of his cruel, cruel father, Joe burst into a wailing fit of tears. \u201cOh, don\u2019t make me do it, Pa! Please, please, please, don\u2019t make me show my beautiful face in public with that ugly girl!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben watched as the tears flowed harder, actually sprouting up into a picturesque fountain as Joe threw his head back and bawled. Amazing how Joe could look so good doing everything, he thought. Why he had even looked good that day last month when he\u2019d been in bed with two broken legs, a gunshot wound, an unsavory social disease picked up somewhere in town, a dislocated shoulder, a concussion and a really nasty head cold. His nose had swollen a little from the cold, but he had still been magnificent! Now, here he was all signs of illness and injury miraculously gone (as always) and in a state of purest heartbreak. Ben wanted to give in. He nearly did give in when Joe fixed pleading water filled eyes on him and stuck his quivering lower lip out as far as it would go. Then he hardened his heart. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, son, but someone has to take Zelda to the dance. It\u2019s part of the rental agreement I made with Dobie over those water rights to his land. We need that land for our cattle, your brother Adam\u2019s new sheep farm and Chief Whatsittoya\u2019s buffalo preservation project.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, maybe you can get the Chief to take her if he loves the sight of buffalo so much,\u201d Joe retorted. \u201cI\u2019ll bet he\u2019d never notice the difference.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, that\u2019s no way to talk about a pack of poor, innocent buffalo,\u201d Ben barked, then realized that wasn\u2019t quite what he had meant to say when Joe\u2019s keening coyote laughter began ringing through the room. \u201cMy agreement with Dobie was that one of my sons would escort his daughter to every dance and social in Virginia City this year and I cannot break my word to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, why can\u2019t Hoss take her?\u201d Joe pouted, throwing his body down upon the settee, crossing his arms and defiantly placing his boots on the coffee table with a scowl. He would show Pa what he thought of his orders! \u201cHe hasn\u2019t got a date, has he?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, you know Hoss had to take Zelda to the last dance, and Adam the one before that. May I remind you that it was your turn that time, but that you couldn\u2019t take her because you had just been shot in the foot?\u201d Ben narrowed his eyes as he said that last. He\u2019d been awfully suspicious of that wound, given that Joe\u2019s gun had gone missing right about the same time, and that he hadn\u2019t heard anything in town about the attempted bank robbery and gunfight that Joe had told him about. Adam had spent days muttering the mysterious words, \u2018Why didn\u2019t I think of it first\u2019, after a night spent in Zelda\u2019s company. Come to think of it, ever since that night, Adam had been spending an inordinate amount of time avoiding human contact and hanging out with his sheep. Could the two be connected? Hmmm.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat am I supposed to tell Ginger and Maryann?\u201d Joe whined.<\/p>\n

Ben shook himself back to the present. \u201cI don\u2019t care what you tell them. You know I don\u2019t approve of those two.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow come? They\u2019re really very nice girls, Pa.\u201d Joe felt honor bound to defend the two girls. Was it his fault they had grown up on a small deserted island somewhere with no stunningly gorgeous men such as himself to while away their days and, more importantly, nights with? Was it his fault they preferred to wear coconut brassieres and whoops-look-at-the-time, super-short, cut-off men\u2019s pants to skirts and dresses? \u201cThey promised to teach me a new dance tonight. Something called the triple limbo.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s mind boggled as he tried to think what that could be. Well, anyway, it didn\u2019t matter. \u201cIt\u2019s high time you took your turn escorting Zelda, and that is final. One more thing, Joseph, get your feet off the furniture!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s feet hit the ground with a loud thud as he stood up and stalked toward the stairs. \u201cAll right! I\u2019ll take her, but if my reputation is ruined I\u2019m never speaking to anyone in this family again!\u201d He swept dramatically toward the stairs. \u201cTell Hop Sing I\u2019m not having any dinner tonight. Food and the sight of Zelda just don\u2019t mix.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPerfectly understandable,\u201d Ben muttered as soon as Joe had trudged out of sight up the stairs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter 2<\/strong><\/p>\n

Joe arrived at his date\u2019s house exactly on time. He would have done anything to avoid arriving early and being forced to sit in the front parlor with Zelda. She always tried to cuddle with him and steal a kiss when he wasn\u2019t looking. Turning suddenly only to find himself inches from that grotesquely puckering face was enough to give him indigestion. Zelda had crossed eyes and crooked teeth, and unlike Joe, she had managed to grow a pretty decent mustache. It was bad enough just trying to keep her on her own side of the buggy on the way to the dance, especially since she kept trying to slide her hands into his lap, to \u2018warm \u2018em up\u2019. There was a picture of some kind of ocean creature called an octopus in one of Adam\u2019s books and Joe was beginning to notice the resemblance between it and his date.<\/p>\n

When they reached the dance hall, Joe stuck his head inside for a look around, hiding the girl in the bushes behind him lest anyone see who he had brought with him. At the sight of the gathered crowd, Joe nearly started bawling again. There were only a few other fellas in sight, nobody he hated enough to try and shove Zelda off on, and nobody stupid enough to volunteer. Even worse, the room was teeming with girls, all the wonderful, beautiful, sweet-smelling, delectable girls his heart could have possibly desired. There was Jeannie winking at him from over in the corner where she stood with her escort from the local army fort, Major Nelson. In the opposite corner, the lovely and bewitching Samantha was chatting with Ellie May, who was dressed in her usual low cut blouse and matching pigtail ribbons. By the punchbowl, Joe\u2019s own beloved Maryann and Ginger were cuddling up to some professor friend of Adam\u2019s. Every man in the room stopped what he was doing when the Professor \u2018accidentally\u2019 dropped his pen and sweet Maryann bent over to get it, and Joe could not stop the tear that trickled down his cheek over what might have been.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, these sticker bushes are getting mighty uncomfortable,\u201d Zelda whined from behind him. Pulling his hat as far down his face as he could manage and still see, Joe stalked inside. Zelda clung to his arm like a leech. The music started and she hauled him onto the floor, galloping around the other dancers with no care for rhythm, meter or the fact that she wasn\u2019t supposed to be the one leading. Joe didn\u2019t care, he was too busy doing his best to keep her hands away from all the places they weren\u2019t suppose to go, all the while trying to keep his feet from getting trampled any more than they already had been.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan we go now?\u201d he begged, several torturous dances later. \u201cWe\u2019ve must\u2019ve been here for hours already. Your Pa will be expecting you back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt hasn\u2019t been even an hour yet!\u201d she protested. \u201cI could use something to eat though. Come on!\u201d Zelda clamped her hand around his wrist tight enough to cause a yelp of pain and made a beeline for the food table. The other folks gathered there saw her coming and ran for their lives. Nobody got between Zelda and her vittles!<\/p>\n

Taking advantage of the fact that she needed both hands to shovel at full capacity, Joe slunk away into a corner to hide. He found his brothers already there, using the long tablecloth over the buffet table to hide their presence and scrunched down between them. \u201cWhat are you two doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cZelda challenged me to an eatin\u2019 contest next time we wound up at the same social,\u201d Hoss said dismally. \u201cThat gal eats like a pig come to the trough. I ain\u2019t got a prayer of winning and lookin\u2019 at her is enough to flat kill my appetite.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I told Pa!\u201d Joe shouted, then slouched down with both hands clapped over his mouth. Had she heard? No, he was still safe. He looked at Adam, \u201cWhat about you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe wants to dance with me,\u201d he said, a peculiar mad gleam coming over his face. Adam pulled his hunting knife out of his boot and began fingering it, laughing a weird low cackle, a trickle of drool escaping from the corner of his mouth. \u201cI\u2019m never going through that again!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the heck happened to you last time?\u201d Hoss asked him, having seen this same reaction every time Zelda\u2019s name was mentioned. \u201cYou two left the dance and I never saw you again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam plunged his knife into the floor, leaving it quivering in the boards. He turned and clutched his youngest brother by the arms. \u201cJoe, for your own sake, don\u2019t let that woman talk you into going outside for some air! I don\u2019t care what you have to do, tie her up, punch her out, anything! Just do not take her anywhere other than her home tonight!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes grew huge. \u201cWhat will happen?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shuddered. \u201cShe\u2019ll pretend to feel faint\u2026and then\u2026I just can\u2019t say it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d his brothers both demanded, biting their nails in frightful anticipation.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe moment you bend down to check on her, she\u2019ll drag you down on the ground and kiss you. Open-mouthed!\u201d Adam clutched his stomach, looking a little green as he uttered the fateful words.<\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss both drew back with deep gasps of horror. Joe laid a hand on his distraught brother\u2019s arm. \u201cAdam, is that why you\u2019ve hardly had a date since that night?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEvery time I try to kiss another girl, the horror of that night all comes rushing back to me. Every girl\u2019s voice becomes that screeching, grating noise that woman calls a voice.\u201d Adam hung his head, hiding his face in his hand. \u201cI may never be a whole man again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face took on a horrible pallor, his eyes straying toward Adam\u2019s belt buckle, and then back up to his face. \u201cYou don\u2019t mean\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss laid a hand on his shoulder. \u201cIt\u2019s true, Joe. The little soldier ain\u2019t takin\u2019 orders no more.\u201d<\/p>\n

Deeply shocked and disturbed by the horrific revelation, Joe barely noticed when his date collared him a few minutes later and hauled him back onto the floor for another dance. He only woke up the reality of his situation when she smiled a lettuce and corn filled smile and said, \u201cLet\u2019s go outside for some fresh air, Little Joe. It\u2019s awful stuffy in here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe let go a shriek that could have been heard in the next state and yanked his hand out of her iron grasp, little caring when he felt the wrist separate as he jumped into the arms of the nearest bystander. It happened to be Doctor Martin and Joe clutched his coat gratefully as the man dropped him with a grumble about wild youngsters. \u201cDoc! Doc, you gotta help me!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that matter with you, boy?\u201d Martin demanded, tapping the side of his head as his ears tried to recover from the sound Joe had delivered into them. \u201cHave you gone crazy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Grasping the coat had really hurt and had alerted Joe to the damage done his hand. He almost smiled at the scowling Zelda as he realized she had actually done him a favor. \u201cIt\u2019s my wrist, Doc. It hurts something awful. In fact it\u2019s so bad I don\u2019t think there\u2019s any way I can drive anywhere tonight and I have to get rid of Zelda\u2026uh, I mean I have to get her home.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor checked the hand Joe practically shoved up his nose in his haste to have it examined. It was most definitely injured. \u201cHow did you manage to dislocate your wrist?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBeats me, Doc,\u201d Joe said cheerfully, then endeavored to make his expression a little more pain-filled as several girls gathered close to coo over his injury and offer to nurse him back to health. \u201cCould somebody please take Zelda home for me, while I go over to the doctor\u2019s office?\u201d he asked pitifully.<\/p>\n

All the men in the room suddenly disappeared except for Joe, the doctor and Sheriff Coffee. Roy looked around in surprise, catching hold of his hat as the force of wind caused by the mass exit threatened to blow it clean off his head. \u201cI guess I could see the young lady home,\u201d he offered, secretly thinking he had seen sweeter looking faces on half the posters decorating his jail house wall. \u201cHope you ain\u2019t hurt too bad, Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe dabbed theatrically at a few artistic beads of sweat dotting his brow, leaning heavily into the supporting arms of his willing army of nurses. \u201cI\u2019ll recover\u2026in time,\u201d he gasped.<\/p>\n

\u201cBye, Joe,\u201d Zelda said glumly as she followed the sheriff out the door. \u201cFeel better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel much better already,\u201d he gloated as he last flounce of her skirt slid out of the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter 3<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGuess what, boys?\u201d Ben said the following morning at breakfast. He noted with some concern the thick white bandage Joseph was sporting on his right hand and wrist, and filed it away to ask about later. \u201cDobie stopped by early this morning to tell me Zelda has decided to stay a few months longer than originally planned. Maybe she\u2019ll even move out here permanently.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw Pa, did you have to go and say that just before we started to eat?\u201d Hoss grumbled, pushing away his plate with a grimace. \u201cYou ain\u2019t sayin\u2019 you expect us to go on escorting that gal around town are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow boys, be reasonable,\u201d Ben wheedled. \u201cIt\u2019s just a few dances and we really need those water rights.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care how much we need them,\u201d Joe said flatly, holding up his injured hand so that his father could get a good look. \u201cI\u2019m not going through that ever again!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe neither,\u201d his brothers chorused with feeling.<\/p>\n

Ben noticed Adam getting that strange gleam in his eye again, eyeing the cutlery, but did not know what to make of it. \u201cIt\u2019s only for a little while. Next year we\u2019ll work out something else. You know I wouldn\u2019t even bother with that low-down cheating third cousin of mine if he didn\u2019t have me over a barrel. Couldn\u2019t you help out just a little while longer?\u201d He was not prepared to order them to take on the task, but Ben did not know how they would manage without those water rights and he was not above a little pleading.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll think about it Pa,\u201d Hoss muttered, throwing his napkin down and making for the door, his silent brothers close behind him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, we\u2019ll think about it!\u201d Joe demanded, the moment they left the house. \u201cYou can just speak for yourself cause I\u2019m not doing it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNeither am I,\u201d said Adam, nearly convulsing as his body was wrapped in a deep shudder at the thought.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow we gonna get rid of her, then?\u201d Hoss asked glumly. \u201cPa did make that agreement with Cousin Dobie.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy the heck does everybody call him that anyway?\u201d Joe said suddenly. \u201cHe\u2019s not our cousin. He\u2019s Pa\u2019s cousin\u2019s wife\u2019s brother\u2019s father-in-law\u2019s cousin. We aren\u2019t even related!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, but Pa is trying to get Dobie to sell him that land and Dobie has a corner on the water in that area until he agrees to sell. It ain\u2019t as if Pa likes him none,\u201d Hoss huffed. \u201cThat measly, low-down snake cheats Pa any chance he gets, and this time we got cheated too, cause he found a way to palm off Zelda on us into the bargain.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe scowled. \u201cPa\u2019s problem is his own from now on. We didn\u2019t have any say in the terms of that deal. I don\u2019t care if we have to sell every sheep and cow on that range to Chief Whatsittoya, if it means no more dealing with the Ziffels.\u201d He spat suddenly. Speaking of them had left a bad taste in his mouth. \u201cIf only there was a way to get rid of Zelda permanently.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, we can\u2019t just kill her,\u201d Adam mumbled. \u201cSomebody would probably notice.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes brightened as a smile began to dawn on his face. \u201cI\u2019ve got it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d his brothers demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, why don\u2019t you ask Zelda to marry you?\u201d Joe asked excitedly.<\/p>\n

Hoss caught Adam as his eyes rolled up his head and all the color drained out of his face. Lowering him to the ground, the big man began fanning his barely conscious brother with his large hat and scowled at Joe. \u201cDadburnit, Joe, you know you shouldn\u2019t say things like that! Suppose Adam had a weak heart or something? You coulda killed him!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe crouched down and began slapping Adam\u2019s cheeks hard with his good hand, restoring him to sense. \u201cI\u2019m not kidding. She already got that kiss from you, Adam. All you gotta do is tell her what you told us about not being able to be around any other girls for thinking of her, only don\u2019t tell her about the puking and impotence part.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy in the name of sanity would I do a thing like that?\u201d Adam shouted, scrambling to his feet and backing away, eyeing his brothers suspiciously as if wondering if it was all some kind of fiendish plot against him. \u201cI want a girl who\u2019s educated.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe done recited about a dozen dirty limericks to me the night we was out,\u201d Hoss offered.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood looking\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou might get lucky and go blind from not getting any\u2026\u201d Joe yelped as Hoss smacked him in the back of the head. \u201cWell, I\u2019ve heard it can happen!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTalented\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hear she can burp the entire alphabet without stopping for breath,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n

\u201cHuman!\u201d Adam screamed.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe were caught with their mouths open, not having any argument for that one. \u201cCome on Adam,\u201d Joe said at last. \u201cIt isn\u2019t as if you\u2019ll actually have to get married. You know what happens every time one of us proposes marriage. The girl either goes back east or dies! Either way, our problems would be over.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSuppose she lives until the honeymoon, though,\u201d Hoss said worriedly.<\/p>\n

All three of them grimaced and shuddered, \u201cEwwww!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do I have to ask her?\u201d Adam demanded. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you do it yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd cancel my entire dating schedule for the next month?\u201d Joe said incredulously. \u201cIt\u2019s bad enough Ginger and Maryann had to do without last night, I couldn\u2019t break the heart of every other girl in Virginia City as well. It would be too cruel! Besides, her Pa likes you best so he\u2019d probably say yes to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Hoss agreed hastily, hoping to keep out of the sacrificial lineup, \u201cWhy I\u2019ll bet he\u2019d even make you a wedding gift of those water rights, if Zelda lives long enough to say \u2018I do\u2019, then Pa\u2019s problems would be solved, and ours too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what if it doesn\u2019t work?\u201d Adam wailed. \u201cI\u2019m not spending the rest of my life married to that, that, that Gorgon!\u201d<\/p>\n

Another hour of wheedling persuasion finally convinced Adam that there was nothing else to be done. His brothers dragged him over to see Dobie before he could change his mind, and stood behind him, blocking the door to prevent him from escaping the moment they crossed the threshold of the Ziffel house.<\/p>\n

Dobie sat down on the only chair in the room, scratching his behind thoroughly before he did so and scratching other places after. \u201cWhat brings you by, boys?\u201d He curled his upper lip back to reveal what was left of his rotted brown teeth and squirted a stream of tobacco juice through a gap. It was easy to see where Zelda came by her looks and charm.<\/p>\n

Adam had frozen at the sight of that pigsty of a house and his brothers rose to fill the silence. \u201cAdam here has decided after his last date with your daughter, that Zelda is the girl for him,\u201d Joe said cheerily. \u201cHe wants your permission to marry her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dobie adjusted himself and added a fresh plug between his cheek and gum. \u201cI can understand that,\u201d he said. \u201cMy Zelda is the image of her dear departed Ma.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re kidding,\u201d Adam said flatly.<\/p>\n

\u201cNope,\u201d Dobie went on, after a long pause in which he went spelunking through his left nostril as he remembered the good old days. \u201cHalf-French and half-injun she was, and all woman! There was nobody in the entire territory could compare to Gidget Flying None.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow did she die?\u201d asked Hoss, looking for a little insight in case this plan of Joe\u2019s didn\u2019t go as they hoped.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe didn\u2019t die,\u201d Dobie said indignantly. \u201cI never said she did. Just said she departed. Ran off with another fella. Can you believe that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt boggles the mind,\u201d Adam said truthfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnyway, I reckon it\u2019d be all right with me if you want to marry Zelda. How\u2019s Sunday for you? I need her here Saturday to do the week\u2019s cooking, but I guess I can hire somebody after that.\u201d Dobie scratched his head, checking to see if he\u2019d caught anything afterward.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe cooks?\u201d Hoss asked in surprise, thinking that maybe Adam\u2019s life wouldn\u2019t be all bad if things didn\u2019t work out, and Zelda lived past the wedding.<\/p>\n

Dobie rose and opened the lid of a huge pot sitting on the fireplace. \u201cBest danged possum and turnip stew you ever ate! One pot lasts a whole week, so you won\u2019t be going hungry, boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t wait,\u201d said Adam faintly, looking as thought he might pass out again at any moment. Joe and Hoss hastily rushed him outside, calling their thanks over their shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be sure and tell Zelda about the weddin\u2019,\u201d her father called after them. \u201cWe\u2019ll be by the Ponderosa on Sunday afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about that, you ain\u2019t even gotta ask her!\u201d Hoss said, trying to cheer his nauseous looking older brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat,\u201d Adam muttered, just before the world went black.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter 4<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nobody saw hide or hair of Adam Cartwright for the next six days. Rumor had it he had been seen out tending to the sheep, and one person reported seeing him sitting in a cloud of pungent smoke, with a peace pipe and a smile over at the Indian camp, but it could not be substantiated. Ben was a bit worried by his continued absence, but only after he got over the mild stroke caused by the news that Zelda and Dobie were about to become his new in-laws.<\/p>\n

On Sunday afternoon the Cartwrights waited nervously with a preacher. The only witness was Doc Martin, whom everyone had felt it best to have on hand in case of any emergencies. An hour passed, and then another hour passed, and finally a third hour went by with no sign of the Ziffels. Adam could be seen praying devotedly in a corner, while Hoss and Joe alternately wept and moaned because they felt so guilty for leading their poor helpless brother to the slaughter. Finally, an excited ranch hand rode up.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey folks, you\u2019re not gonna believe this!\u201d he said, his breath whistling between his large front teeth as he tried to get his words out through gasps and gulps of air.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Beaver?\u201d Hoss demanded. \u201cIs something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Ziffel house collapsed this morning!\u201d the man said. \u201cIts structure just wouldn\u2019t hold up no more and a strong wind made it crash right down around the ears of them two folks living there. Killed em both!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam threw his arms out to his sides, flung his head back, and screamed \u201cTHE CURSE LIVES!!!\u201d He began to laugh and cry at the same time, and his equally giddy brothers rushed to \u2018comfort\u2019 him as a smiling Ben, and puzzled Doctor Martin and Beaver looked on.<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess I\u2019d better get back to work,\u201d the hand said, thinking them Cartwrights was a mighty strange lot.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019d better go see about arranging a funeral for the deceased,\u201d the preacher said happily, tipping his hat as he departed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose I\u2019d better go too,\u201d the doctor said, wondering if there was any money to be made in a tell-all novel about this family. A niggling suspicion about the fate of this latest in a long string of dead Cartwright wives and fiancees nagged at him, and he wondered if he should talk to Roy. Then he decided to keep his peace. After all, it could have been an accident, and if not who could blame them? \u201cCome into town for a game of chess later, Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d Ben agreed happily. He shut the door behind the doctor and went to check some papers on his desk. Yes, with Dobie dead, that left his land free to public domain and Ben already had the papers drawn. He wondered how much persuading it would take to get one of the boys to start dating Ed Post\u2019s daughter. After all, he had a mighty fine piece of land adjoining the Ponderosa to the south\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The End<\/em>\u2026?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags:<\/strong> Adam Cartwright, Hoss Cartwright, Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 Oh, the curse of having to appease Pa with his friends.\u00a0 Who knew what a disaster it would lead to?<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (4,430 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":85,"featured_media":11583,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","wpcat-4-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1634,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/4Cs.jpg?fit=400%2C401&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6784,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6784","url_meta":{"origin":11899,"position":0},"title":"Little Joe Cartwright, Thief (by pbeaking)","author":"pbeaking","date":"May 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Little Joe finds himself in trouble when he is caught stealing from the mercantile. 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