{"id":11915,"date":"2011-09-19T11:13:48","date_gmt":"2011-09-19T15:13:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=11915"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:25:11","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:25:11","slug":"cold-harbor-by-hazelmom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=11915","title":{"rendered":"Cold Harbor (by HazelMom)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 <\/strong>The Union army conscripts one member from every family to fight in the burgeoning war between the State.\u00a0 How is it that all three Cartwright sons become involved in the war?<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (45,770 words) \u00a0(Authors note: I worked all summer on this, and it\u2019s epic long. I hope you\u2019ll take the time to climb in this story. And I hope to hear what you thought.)<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Cold Harbor<\/strong><\/p>\n

The mood in the Bucket of Blood was rowdy. Some of it undoubtedly had to do with the fact that it was New Year\u2019s Eve. Men were doing their best to ring in the year with every bit of rotgut whiskey and beer they could get their hands on. Still it wasn\u2019t just merriment that filled the air. There was a tension, almost a desperation to the celebration. Bosom buddies were hugging one minute, and hauling off a right hook to the eye the next. Every table was full, and the saloon girls had long since backed off as it wasn\u2019t exactly safe in the midst of all that male energy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joshua Chamberlain surveyed all of this from the door. It was what he\u2019d always imagined the West would be all those years ago when he first started sneaking the magazine serials depicting cowboys and Indians fighting on the Plains. It certainly didn\u2019t do for the head of the English department at Bowdoin College to be reading magazine serials, but all of that was behind him now. Two years in the Union army saw to that, and now instead of lecturing students, he was standing in the doorway of a saloon watching real cowboys drinking and talking and smelling everything like he\u2019d always imagined.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A large fellow came weaving his direction. He all but fell onto Chamberlain, who grabbed him under his shoulders and pushed him back to his feet. The big man slapped him on his back and declared. \u201cLook fellers, we have a new neighbor in town. He\u2019s got on the Union blues.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Some men raised their glasses and others looked at him with nothing but a cold stare.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The man kept an arm around Chamberlain\u2019s shoulders. \u201cI bet he came in with the general. And now he\u2019s come to drink with us common folk. Ain\u2019t that something?!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A few cheers went up, but the rest of the men just turned their attention back to the drink in front of them. The man leaned into Chamberlain, and the sick, sour smell of whiskey wafted into Josh\u2019s face. He tried to push the man off, but the cowboy hung on stubbornly. Annoyed, he pushed again, and the cowboy spun off in a neat circle and landed in a pile on the ground. Another cowboy jumped up from a table, \u201cWhat you doing to my friend, Mister? He ain\u2019t done nothing to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain reached over to help the cowboy up, but the scrapping of chairs being pushed back alerted him and he backed away. Three drunk men advanced on him. Chamberlain tried to remember where he saw the sheriff\u2019s office, but he knew it was no good to run. As a Union soldier, it would destroy everything they were trying to do here. He planted his feet widely and crouched, waiting for the first man to throw a punch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then a man bigger than any other man he\u2019d seen in a long time waded in between them. One feller threw a punch and this giant of a man took it on the jaw. He didn\u2019t flinch and he didn\u2019t hit him back. He grabbed the man\u2019s arm before he could throw another. \u201cOkay boys, that\u2019s enough. This ain\u2019t no way to treat a guest from the Union army.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Another of the cowboys tried to circle around him, but the giant grabbed his collar and pulled him back. \u201cI mean it, boys. That\u2019s enough. You tangle with him and ya\u2019 gotta tangle with me. What do ya\u2019 say, boys?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The cowboys shuffled their feet and looked away. One of them looked up, \u201cAw, Hoss. We was just funnin\u2019. Didn\u2019t mean nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The giant frowned at him. \u201cAin\u2019t no way to treat a guest. It\u2019d give him a bad taste of Virginia City. Reflects on the whole lot of us. That ain\u2019t no good.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTell it to the soldier.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The cowboys suddenly seemed sober, hats in hand. \u201cSorry, Officer.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGo on now.\u201d The big man shooed them away. \u201cTell Cosmo ya\u2019 got a beer coming on my tab.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain stepped up and held out a hand. \u201cI\u2019m much obliged, cowboy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He gave a low chuckle. \u201cName\u2019s Eric Cartwright. Folks call me Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLieutenant Colonel Joshua Chamberlain at your service.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy aren\u2019t ya\u2019 at the big doings over at the town hall?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNeeded a break from all of those speeches.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour General Peeler had quite a bit of news, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what\u2019s keeping you away from the town hall?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss sighed. \u201cI\u2019m going to have another beer. Can I buy you one, soldier?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain followed Hoss who waded through the masses and got two beers without waiting. Men just naturally parted for the big man, but Chamberlain felt none of the resentment that comes along being an intimidating force. Men seemed to part easy, and more than one hand slapped Hoss on the back and called him friend. Hoss grabbed the beers, and led Chamberlain to the back of the room where he was sitting at a corner table. It was dim in this part of the bar, and somehow didn\u2019t seem the right place for the affable young man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two men settled in, and Chamberlain got his first taste of what passed for beer in the west. He winced, but held it well. Everything out west was rough, even the brew.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss took a long draw off his drink and put it down. \u201cI reckon you weren\u2019t actually at Fredericksburg. You wouldn\u2019t have gotten out here so quick if ya\u2019 had.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain nodded. \u201cI was in St. Louis with the general at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c17,000 men in one day; that\u2019s like the whole Nevada territory – men, women, children, white and Indian. Do you really believe all that could happen in one day?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt did. Hoss, this war is like no other. I have seen dead men littered on a battleground so thick, I couldn\u2019t find grass.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt sort of seems like the end of world.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain smiled softly. \u201cThat\u2019s about what it feels like when you\u2019re there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe President\u2019s really going to sign this Emancipation Proclamation?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAt the stroke of midnight, he will. And all slaves will be one step closer to freedom.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe really stayed out of the mix out here. I guess it\u2019s such a hard life sometimes that we sort of felt like we weren\u2019t obliged to be part of the problems out east.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know. President Lincoln grew up in Illinois when it was as backwater as this place. He knows what its like and he understands. But he needs the West now. This thing is too big now, and it\u2019s going to get worse before it gets better.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe General claims he\u2019s only asking for one son from each home. What\u2019s he going to do if more than one son wants to go?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe General made the Territorial Governor a promise. He understands how important it is to tame this land, and he doesn\u2019t intend to paralyze progress by taking too many. He\u2019ll honor his word.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat a thing this is. A man leaves his family to fight to the death. Nobody at home sleeps until he\u2019s home again or in a grave.\u201d Hoss let out a deep breath. \u201cWar is a terrible thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josh Chamberlain nodded. \u201cIt amazes me, Hoss. Men will celebrate going to war. They will deem it their right, their privilege, and they march off as if to an adventure. And we\u2019ll all say it\u2019s God\u2019s will.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss looked at him out of the corner of his eye. \u201cYou don\u2019t sound like an army man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not. I was an English professor. I have no illusions. I\u2019ve been in this fight for over a year. There is nothing noble about leading boys and good men to their death facing other boys, other good men. And at the heart of it all, there are men who will never see a battlefield and these men decide how many of our soldiers will die.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss wrinkled his brow. \u201cYou\u2019re not a Lincoln man?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, make no mistake. I left my professorship for that man, and I will follow him through the gates of Hell if necessary.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss pushed the brim of his hat back. \u201cI got a good feeling about him too, and I guess this emancipation thing seals it. No one can tell me God wants one man to own another. Lincoln\u2019s willing to stand up and fight for those poor people. I gotta\u2019 figure he\u2019s on the side of the angels.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re a wise man, Hoss Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. An outburst interrupted his thought. Four cowboys were rolling around in the middle of the room. Hoss jumped up and charged through a wall of men. Those who could darted out of his way, the others were pushed. He dived into the middle of the pile, and came up with a cowboy in each hand. The crowd dispersed in the face of it. In the wake stood a very large man with a cowboy in each hand. Josh Chamberlain cocked his head, and regarded the spectacle with interest. The men didn\u2019t struggle; they just grabbed their hats and shuffled back to the bar.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lieutenant Colonel Chamberlain signaled the barmaid for another two beers, and then sat down and waited for his new friend. Two years in the army had taught him more than he needed to know about men and what temperament worked best in the military, and this big fella\u2019 was beginning to look as valuable as a gleaming gold nugget.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright had trouble swallowing his breakfast. A numbness had settled in him, and he ate slowly, distracted. Around him were raised voices but he was only faintly aware of their conversation. Imagining the carnage of 17,000 dead men in a Virginia meadow in one single day was only the prelude to the shock of realizing that he was about to lose a son to this monstrous conflict.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben was a strong man with a commanding presence. It wasn\u2019t very often that he felt out of control, but General Peeler\u2019s speech and the meeting that followed had cemented a panic in his gut. The only relief was in the knowledge that Peeler was only going to take one boy from each family. Ben looked at his three sons sitting around him, and wondered if they would all ever be together again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d His youngest broke his reverie. \u201cThe fact that he\u2019s the oldest can\u2019t matter this time. The stakes are too high. I gotta\u2019 right to fight for this country just the same as he does.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben blinked and looked down at his breakfast. He felt surprised at the food still on his plate. He pushed the eggs into a pile and contemplated another bite.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed but before he could speak, another voice erupted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph! Let Pa alone. Can\u2019t ya\u2019 see he needs a little peace!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 outburst surprised them. His middle son might be the largest, but he was also the least combatant of them all.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joseph pounded the table with his fist. \u201cIt ain\u2019t fair!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam pushed away his plate. \u201cCome on, Joe. You\u2019re 18 years old. I\u2019m almost 30. You tell me who\u2019s better prepared for this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a man and I\u2019ll do what I have to do. I\u2019ll join up with the confederates in Texas.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 fork hit his plate with a sharp crack and he pointed his finger at his little brother, his blue eyes blazing. \u201cYou listen here, Joe. You really think you could run off and join the army that\u2019ll be fighting your brother? Is that the kind of man you are? Don\u2019t give me no bull about your allegiance to the South, boy. You were born on this land, not the South. You ain\u2019t a Southerner anymore than I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, simmer down.\u201d There was something about the boy\u2019s energy that spooked Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam leaned forward. \u201cJoe, Pa and I talked it over. As the eldest, it is my right to represent this family in the Union army. I\u2019m going to be the one leaving with General Peeler at the end of the week.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss didn\u2019t lift his eyes from his plate as he spoke. \u201cPeeler said one man from each family. He said that Lincoln understands that we can\u2019t strip Nevada Territory of men if we got any hope of becoming a state in the Union. You heard him and I heard him, and I figure that we make a pact right here and now that whatever happens, we promise that only one of us is going to this war.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a moment of silence, and then Joe spoke. \u201cI ain\u2019t making a promise when I don\u2019t know for sure what\u2019s going to happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss is right. If I go, that\u2019s it. No one else will follow me. With the contract the army\u2019s writing up with Pa, the rest of you can do your part by getting good beef to Denver on schedule.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t seem\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss slammed his fork down again, startling all of them. \u201cDon\u2019t argue, Joseph. This ain\u2019t just about you. If you was as grown as you think you are, you\u2019d understand that. We\u2019ll do the best job we can for this war by getting beef to those who need it. Do we have a deal?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe made a face. \u201cI ain\u2019t interested in your deal, Hoss!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, quit being so hardheaded. Do you think I want to go?\u201d insisted Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I do, Adam. I think you want to go so you can feel even more superior over the rest of us!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEnough! Last time I checked, this was still my house, and you all were still my sons!\u201d Ben\u2019s face was flushed, and his hands felt shaky on the table. A silence descended on the table. Ben waited until he had their attention. \u201cI don\u2019t want any of you to go. This isn\u2019t an adventure; this is a war, and it isn\u2019t just any war. When this is finished, we\u2019re going to know if this grand experience of democracy is really going to last. The battles have been unlike any in the history of man. When have 17,000 men ever been killed in a single day? When!?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe started to open his mouth, but the look in his father\u2019s eye was enough to convince to keep his place.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath. \u201cI can\u2019t fool myself anymore. There is no way to keep all of you out of it. It was a fantasy, nothing more. But by God, they\u2019ve only asked for one of you, and that\u2019s all they can have. We all fight this war, but only one of us goes to it. Understood?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stared down at the table and acknowledged nothing. Ben leaned toward his youngest. \u201cJoseph, you are too young.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa, the government says I\u2019m old enough\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo! The government can say whatever it wants, but if a choice can be made, and Adam wants to go, then it\u2019s a clear decision. He has the maturity to understand this war for the necessary but evil conflict that it is. My confidence is with him. As a man, I expect you to respect my decision.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head, his eyes filling. \u201cIt tears at me so, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know, son. You\u2019re the passion in this family. Anything worth feeling just burns inside of you. I know this has gotta\u2019 be a real struggle for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe seemed to relax through the soothing tone of this father. He looked at his brothers. \u201cTruth is, I wouldn\u2019t join up with no Johnny Rebs. This emancipation thing seals it. I won\u2019t fight against what I know is right. If I can\u2019t go, then I\u2019m going to have to\u2026aw, I don\u2019t know. I guess I just can\u2019t go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben saw Hoss out of the corner of his eye. The big man seemed to be ready to explode. \u201cHoss, don\u2019t worry so hard. Adam will be careful. He promises that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss snorted. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa. It ain\u2019t what I\u2019m thinking. We been sitting here talking on this and the whole time I been knowing something that the rest of ya\u2019 don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam frowned. \u201cWhat do you know, boy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss nodded slowly. \u201cI didn\u2019t know quite how to approach this, but now I figure I got to quit worrying on it and just tell ya\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSay it!\u201d Ben growled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI met a fella\u2019 last night at the Bucket of Blood. Name of Chamberlain. Said he was the aide de damp to that General Peeler. We had a few beers, and he told me a few things.\u201d Hoss paused but put up a hand before anyone could berate him. \u201cChamberlain says they\u2019re going to commission Adam, but they ain\u2019t sending him out East.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?!\u201d Adam shouted. \u201cClearly, the man was drunk, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t true, Adam. I believe him. He says you\u2019re too valuable to put on a line. They need you back here working on the logistics of getting the cattle to Denver timely like. I guess you impressed \u2018em with your proposal on cattle drive way stations and such.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben felt the sting of tears in his eyes, and he struggled to hold his composure.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss cleared his throat. \u201cThat\u2019s not all. You see, things got a little dicey there, and Roy and Clem were at the town hall, and so I had to get involved and settle some squalls. Chamberlain was there for all that, and well, he was sort of impressed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you trying to say, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt seems Chamberlain is headed back for active duty. He has a platoon waiting for him back in Chicago. Seems he\u2019s short a sergeant for one of his squads.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Hoss, no.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt wouldn\u2019t look right if none of us went back East. Doesn\u2019t matter if Adam is commissioned or not. People around here would think that we arranged it so none of us would be in the fight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you do?\u201d Ben gripped the edge of the table.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going with him, Pa. I\u2019m going to represent for this family. I ain\u2019t got no\u2026fancy ideas like Adam. This is a good way for me to serve. I know it\u2019s rough, and I aim to keep my head down. Ain\u2019t going to volunteer for nothing. The truth is that I\u2019m good with handling men. I know it and you do too. That\u2019s what he needs. I didn\u2019t sign nothing, but I told him I would go with him, and I figure my word just as good as a piece of paper.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There were times in history when any person with money could be a general, but those were the times when wars were gentlemanly affairs where battles stopped for meals and prisoners were treated like visiting guests. However, battles of the 19th<\/sup> century were suffering from technology. As men got killed in greater and greater numbers, battles required generals who had more than just money to claim. General Lesley Aaron Peeler was such a man. He\u2019d graduated West Point, and spent the last fifteen years running the military college out of Baltimore.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A man like this made real decisions about life and death for this men on any given day. A man like this was a match for Ben Cartwright. Ben was used to getting his way. He\u2019d earned the respect of most any man he knew by working harder, fighting harder, and being smarter than anyone else. He\u2019d had an hour with the general and hadn\u2019t gotten anywhere. He\u2019d blustered, glared, and was on the verge of threatening when he realized that his normal tactics weren\u2019t going to work with this man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what else to say, General. You have Adam. You\u2019ve commissioned him as a captain. That satisfies the promise you made to the families of Nevada Territory.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Peeler sighed. \u201cHe\u2019s commissioned as our agent here in Nevada Territory. The agreement your son made with Lieutenant Colonel Chamberlain is a different story. Since Captain Cartwright will not be leaving Nevada Territory, I don\u2019t believe that he is violating our agreement. I feel no compunction to alter Colonel Chamberlain\u2019s deal with your son, Eric.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHos\u2026I mean, Eric, is crucial to the work of getting beef to Denver in a timely manner.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright, I appreciate your position. My own son is a year into West Point. I pray every night that this conflict will end before he graduates. I have no illusions about the glory of war. I would prefer that he live out his service as a military professor or a fort commander.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEric isn\u2019t\u2026he\u2019s a good man. I don\u2019t know that he\u2026he\u2019s never been east of the Rockies. He\u2019s not\u2026like other men. He\u2019s\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter, Mr. Cartwright. Chamberlain likes him. It\u2019s decided. He\u2019s a sergeant in the U.S. army.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy son, Adam, is ready\u2026He\u2019s\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The General frowned. \u201cYou prefer to have one son go over another.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben flushed deeply. \u201cNo, I don\u2019t. It\u2019s\u2026Adam is older. He\u2019s wiser\u2026more worldly. Eric is\u2026\u201d Ben swallowed hard but couldn\u2019t find words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The general shook his head, and sat down to read the sheaf of papers on his desk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright stood there, unable to yield. He couldn\u2019t quite imagine allowing his gentle ranch-bred giant of a son to go back East where they wouldn\u2019t understand or appreciate who he was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright started to speak, then shook his head, and walked to the window. Anything else the general had to say was lost to the rancher who looked out the window and tried to imagine his son navigating a world outside the one he knew. He wondered what they would do with the middle son he loved so dearly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss knew that Joe was scowling at him from the barn door, but he continued the deep brushing he was giving Chub. He spoke in low tones, telling the horse that he\u2019d be gone for a bit. His soothing baritone seemed to slow the horse\u2019s breathing, and the horse gently nuzzled his face with its nose. Hoss chuckled and rubbed Chub\u2019s long neck. He could hear Joe shuffle impatiently behind him, but still he waited.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow long are you going to pretend I\u2019m not standing here?!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss closed his eyes and sighed. He patted Chub\u2019s nose one last time and turned to his little brother. \u201cYou\u2019re going to need to ride him at least two-three times a week. You know he tends toward the portly side. He\u2019ll need the exercise.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTake him with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u201cChub\u2019s going to want to stay close to home. I ain\u2019t going to wear him out dragging him all the way East.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI always looked up to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss chuckled. \u201cNow tell the truth, Shortshanks. You always looked up to Adam. I was just your buddy. There\u2019s a difference.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head angrily. \u201cI never thought you\u2019d pull something like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss tried to pass by Joe, but the boy didn\u2019t move. Hoss sighed and went over to sit on the tack box. \u201cSay what you gotta\u2019 say, boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoining up like you did was a dirty rotten trick.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI just did what I thought was right.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then you wanted us to make promises. That\u2019s low, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss took off his hat and scratched his thin, brown hair. \u201cYou think you\u2019d have done any different in my shoes?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe narrowed his eyes but didn\u2019t say anything.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u201cI took an opportunity. They weren\u2019t going to send Adam. Somebody had to go. It wasn\u2019t going to look right. You know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho cares how it looks?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe do, every single one of us. We gotta\u2019 live here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t fair.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss threw back his head and laughed. \u201cSay what you\u2019re really thinking, Joe. You want to be the one to go, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe kicked the dirt. \u201cEverybody thinks I am too young. I\u2019m a man. I could do it just as good as you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo what, Joe? Die? Kill men? This ain\u2019t no game, boy. I don\u2019t want to go, but I have to, for the simple reason that if I didn\u2019t, you would. I\u2019m doing this for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat ain\u2019t true!\u201d Joe\u2019s face turned red.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you\u2019re a better shot. You\u2019re smarter and braver, and you\u2019re pretty as a picture to boot. All that\u2019s true, but I can\u2019t let you go. Watching over you is my job. I been doing it since you were big enough to crawl. This is something I can do so you don\u2019t have to.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s no good, Hoss. I don\u2019t want that. It\u2019s the dumbest thing I ever heard.\u201d Joe couldn\u2019t meet his eyes. His breathing sounded ragged.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you\u2019re 18 years old. You still need seasoning. Wanting something doesn\u2019t mean you should have it. You got a lot to learn. I aim to make sure you got the opportunity to do that learning.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned away and rubbed at his face angrily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss got up softly and walked toward him. Joe sensed him and stiffened. \u201cI\u2019m leaving tomorrow, Joe. You and I\u2026we can\u2019t leave angry. Neither one of us could live with that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe slammed a fist into the door. Hoss winced as the boy pulled back, pain radiating in his face. Hoss reached over to look at the hand, but Joe pulled away and ran out of the barn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss followed, but stopped short when he saw Adam walking toward him. Hoss let out a deep sigh. \u201cI don\u2019t have time for this. Did you see where Joe went?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded toward the creek, but then put out his hand to stop his younger brother. \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe hit the door. I just want to make sure his hand\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cAfter today, you\u2019re not going to be around to take care of him. You better let me go. I\u2019ll make sure he\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, he needs time, and you have a lot to get done before you go.\u201d Adam smiled. \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Brother. Nobody\u2019s going to leave angry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss stood there and watched his brother trot after Joe. Nothing made any sense anymore. He shook his head and went back into the barn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam found Joe down at the creek, soaking his hand in the cool, running water. Adam knelt down beside him. \u201cCan I take a look?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe glared at him. \u201cI don\u2019t need any help.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam resisted the urge to roll his eyes. \u201cCome on, Joe. Let me just see if it\u2019s broken.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe finally pulled it out of the water and extended it. Adam took it carefully, noting the grimace on Joe\u2019s face as he handled it. After kneading it for a couple of moments, Adam sat back on his knees. \u201cYou split a knuckle, but nothing\u2019s broken. Go up to the house and let Hop Sing wrap it in some cotton.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at his eldest brother for a moment. \u201cAren\u2019t you mad at him?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam squinted up at the sun. \u201cI was surprised.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAw, come on, Adam, you were more than surprised. I don\u2019t buy it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, I was, at first. But Joe, this thing is bigger than us. Hoss got caught up in it. You would\u2019ve done the same thing if the opportunity had come your way. Admit it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut he got in the way of you going. You\u2019re not even upset about that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss didn\u2019t get in the way of anything. U.S. army is going to do what it\u2019s going to do. I don\u2019t have to be happy about it, but I\u2019m not looking to pick a fight either. Listen Joe, he\u2019s leaving tomorrow, and you need to let it go or you\u2019re never going to forgive yourself when he\u2019s gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe swallowed hard. \u201cI can\u2019t let him go without me. It\u2019s not right. I\u2019m going with him. We\u2019ll watch out for each other. Pa will understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cJoe, it\u2019s not going to happen that way. Hoss won\u2019t let it. Pa won\u2019t let it. I won\u2019t let it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t stop me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam grabbed his arm roughly. \u201cDon\u2019t do it, boy. You follow him, he\u2019s not going to be able to do anything but worry about you. He can\u2019t afford to do that. Let him do what he has to do. We need you here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I mean it. Stop thinking about yourself. We do what we have to in order to serve the cause. You do more by staying than going. I need you. I can\u2019t get this beef to Denver on time without you. We have to establish a route that gets the maximum amount of beef to Denver in the shortest amount of time, and we need to do it for as long as the army needs us. I can\u2019t do that without you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFeeding soldiers is the only role we play in this war?\u201d Joe looked up at his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cYou think this is going to be a cakewalk?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe thought for a moment and nodded. \u201cWe got to figure out how to take that 200 mile stretch of desert without losing any head.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s our biggest challenge.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pushed dirt around with the toe of his boot. \u201cIt\u2019d be better if Hoss was doing this with us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Brother, but we got to deal with the hand we have in front of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss looked at how distended his saddlebags were. He was certain that they hadn\u2019t been that bad half an hour earlier, and he figured that Hop Sing had been at work again. The Chinese cook considered Hoss\u2019 size a measure of his success. He was often pointing out Hoss to his relatives in Virginia City, his girth a source of pride to Hop Sing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Undoubtedly, Hop Sing was stuffing the bags with whatever foodstuffs he thought would survive the journey. Hoss almost unpacked it as people were bound to notice his bags filled to bursting. It looked bad, and he knew he had to set an example now as he was in charge of the volunteers of Virginia City, but he figured that as long as he took care to share his bounty, folks would let it pass.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pa frowned at the bags too, and shot Hop Sing a hard look, and Hop Sing frowned defiantly back at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u201cDon\u2019t worry about it, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI still think we should ride into town with you.\u201d Joe spoke to the foot that was drawing circles in the dirt in front of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cWe talked about this already, Joe. Hoss needs to focus on his new responsibilities, and we have responsibilities of our own. We have to say good-bye here and let Hoss\u2026go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s throat was strangely dry, and he turned away as he attempted to clear it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam walked up to Hoss and gave him a hearty handshake. \u201cMy thoughts will be with you every day, Brother. You have a kind of instinct they just don\u2019t build in many people. Use it. Rely on it. We need you back here.\u201d Adam rubbed at the bridge of his nose and stood back. \u201cNot going to say more. No need to make this a big deal. You\u2019ll be home soon enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss nodded, grinning. \u201cIt won\u2019t be long. You fellers better not get too comfortable around here without old Hoss. I\u2019ll be back before you know it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe kicked up more dirt. Hoss looked down at his feet. Then he grunted, strode over, and enveloped the boy in a hug. Joe squirmed a bit, but Hoss didn\u2019t pay any attention. He held him tightly. \u201cYou\u2019re a man, Little Joe, and I\u2019m sorry about anything I did that made you feel less than. I\u2019ll miss ya\u2019, Little Buddy.\u201d Hoss released him and stepped back, unable to make eye contact with anyone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded and looked up at his giant son. \u201cWe\u2019ll be thinking of you every day. I\u2019m proud of you, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss wrinkled his nose, his chin trembling. \u201cGood-bye, Pa.\u201d Ben started to walk toward him, but before he got there, Hoss jumped on the red sorrel he was riding. He tipped his hat. \u201cI\u2019ll be home soon.\u201d Then he galloped off, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared after him until the dust settled. Then he put his head down and walked into the barn. Adam turned on his heels, and headed for the barn. Joe found himself alone in the yard, and it felt quiet in a way that was unsettling. A soft whinnying alerted him to the fact that Cochise was tethered to the fence post in anticipation of following Hoss into town. Joe walked over to the paint, jumped on his back, and started in the direction Hoss took. After a few strides, he pulled the horse to a hard stop, and wheeled the horse in the opposite direction. Following Hoss wasn\u2019t going to get him back home any faster. Joe chose a trail that headed up to Looking Glass Lake. The others had sought solitude for their emotions and he would as well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The first letter didn\u2019t come from Hoss. There were 29 men who left Virginia City that January morning. Any news from any of them was news for the entire town. Gus Aitkins was the first one to get a letter through. His mother brought it to Sheriff Coffee, who painstakingly copied it and posted it outside his door. There was a crowd within minutes, and the few literate people were called upon to read it over and over. Joe happened to ride in that same afternoon. It didn\u2019t take him long to catch wind of the excitement. He pushed his way to the front of the crowd. Mrs. Andersen tapped him on the shoulder. \u201cRead it out loud, Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe squinted and pushed Shorty Lamont out of the way. He cleared his throat, \u201cAh, Gus says, Dear Mother, I hope you are well. I am well. We are mailing this from Omaha, Nebraska. It is as big a city as I have ever seen. We will be in Chicago within the week, and will be given orders from there. Happy Nelson says tell his mother that he\u2019s doing well. John Walker, Jamie Green, and Seth Watson say the same. Appleseed Warren fell off his horse in Dakota Territory, and he had to stay in Deadwood to recover. Should be making his way back to Virginia City soon enough. Hoss makes us drill every day. He says we can\u2019t look like dumb cowboys when we get East. I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen, but whatever it is, we\u2019re going to do it all in formation. Tell Pa we\u2019ll be home soon. Your loving son, Gussy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe ran across the street to the general store and bought a piece of paper and a pencil. He wrote out the letter word for word, and folded it up for Pa. It wasn\u2019t much, but it\u2019s all they had.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The letters started to trickle in after that. Families took them to Roy who posted them on the wall outside his office. The first letter from Hoss came a week later. Roy broke with routine, and rode it out to the ranch. Ben was alone these days, and Roy thought a little company would do him good. Ben seemed to appreciate the gesture. He motioned for him to sit, and read the letter a loud.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Pa and Brothers,<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We made Chicago last night. Craziest town I ever saw. Makes San Francisco look like a farm town. Colonel has us bunking in a stable near the stockyards. It\u2019s smelling something fierce around here and the stable ain\u2019t that clean, but I\u2019m just glad for the roof. It\u2019s the first shelter we\u2019ve slept under in two weeks. <\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tell all the families that the boys are doing good. They listen to me, and I ain\u2019t had knock heads more than once or twice. Colonel says we are moving on East in a week. Don\u2019t know where we\u2019re headed. Wish I could say I was enjoying the adventure of it all, but I\u2019m missing you all real bad. I miss the Ponderosa. Ain\u2019t no land out here that can hold a candle?<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hard to believe this country\u2019s at war. I keep thinking I oughta be seeing some sign of it by now, but everyone\u2019s just going about their business. It almost seems like we were brought all the way East for nothing. I know it ain\u2019t true, but I guess it don\u2019t hurt to wish.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I reckon you are all busy with the cattle drive. Wish I was there with you.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Your son and brother, <\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sergeant Hoss Eric Cartwright<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben folded the letter carefully and laid it on the middle of the table. For a while, neither man spoke. Then Roy reached for the letter and studied it a bit, \u201cYou know, Ben. The boy sounds good.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded but didn\u2019t look at his old friend.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy took a breath. \u201cWhen did Adam and Little Joe leave?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben blinked. \u201cAh, two\u2026no, three days ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a pretty big job they\u2019re taking on. Adam promised to drive those cattle in half the time, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded and smile crept onto his features. \u201cHe has set up stations along the way. Hands will herd to a station and then pass the cattle off to the next group of hands who takes them to the next station. The first group turns around and brings another herd up to the station. Every group of hands works the same leg of the trip. They get familiar with the passage, and there\u2019s more time to rest. Adam\u2019s got it set up with four legs and five groups of men. He\u2019s got another group who does nothing more than keep the stations stocked. He\u2019s going to be funneling cattle for everyone in the territory.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy shook his head, chuckling. \u201cThat Adam is destined for great things. No doubt about it. Sometimes I don\u2019t know what keeps him on the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed. \u201cHe\u2019ll leave one day. Ponderosa isn\u2019t big enough to keep him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI expect so.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben chuckled. \u201cIt\u2019s funny, Roy. I\u2019ve been through a lot, you know, but somehow I figured that once I got it right, I could hold onto it and protect it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy frowned. \u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll never leave, but my sons might. We\u2019ll all die one day. God help me if one of my sons dies before I do. Nothing stays the same, no matter how hard you try to make it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReckon we wouldn\u2019t desire it so if it did.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled at his old friend. \u201cYou\u2019re not as dumb as you look, Roy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy chuckled. They sat in silence for a moment before Roy got up and donned his hat. \u201cGotta\u2019 get back to town. Ol\u2019 Riley Jones has a birthday today and he has money in his pockets. Reckon there\u2019ll be quite a bit to mop up over at the Bucket of Blood before the day is out. Had Clem put up extra bunks in the cells. You know Ol\u2019 Riley never does a birthday half way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy got to the door and turned. \u201cI gotta\u2019 a lot of faith in that middle boy of yours. The whole town does. Never met anyone that worked harder at doing the right thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After the door shut, Ben sat alone in his big house and pondered on Roy\u2019s last thoughts. He wasn\u2019t at all sure that doing the right thing was going to get his boy back safe to the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rodney Yeats stood before him, hands on his hips. \u201cIt ain\u2019t fair, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s Sergeant Hoss to you, boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boy frowned more deeply. \u201cCome on. I never had to go to no church back in Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss smirked. \u201cExplains a lot, Rodney.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou ain\u2019t in church.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shifted on the picnic table. The sun was rising and he wanted nothing but shade. \u201cIf I went inside, I\u2019d never be able to keep an eye out for you heathens sneaking out like ya\u2019 do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rodney glanced back at the church building. It was a beautiful white church with a steeple higher than any he\u2019d ever seen back West. \u201cThat ol\u2019 preacher\u2019s going to be talkin\u2019 all day ifn\u2019 somebody don\u2019t stop him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAw Rodney, let it go. A little soul savin\u2019 goin\u2019 do you some good. I don\u2019t care if you\u2019re a God-fearin\u2019 or not. I just don\u2019t want us to look like a bunch of rascals. Don\u2019t inspire much confidence in folks, you know, when the troops is the most ragtag bunch of hooligans they ever did see. We need folks to trust us. \u2018Sides, afterward there\u2019s going to be a nice spread. How long it been since you had some nice woman cooked food?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rodney hadn\u2019t lost the sour look on his face. \u201cBut then you got us raisin\u2019 a barn.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t nothin\u2019 wrong with being a good neighbor.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t that good book say we gotta\u2019 rest on Sunday?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u201cYou boys\u2019 idea of rest is confiscating some rotgut from the local bootlegger and gettin\u2019 boozy all over the countryside. I ain\u2019t havin\u2019 it. My boys ain\u2019t lurching about like a bunch of ol\u2019 miners on Founder\u2019s Day. Had enough of that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis is punishment \u2018cause we passed out on that farmer\u2019s land last week. T\u2019ain\u2019t fair. We was just takin\u2019 a bit of rest, ya\u2019 know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cScared that man\u2019s womenfolk half to death. On your own, I don\u2019t care what kind of fool you want to be, but you boys are mine for the length of this here war, and I ain\u2019t havin\u2019 you act like a bunch o\u2019 half wits sprung from the local jail. Folks are goin\u2019 ta\u2019 think the West drained all the civilized out o\u2019 us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow long we goin\u2019 to be in this here O-hi-O?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t know, Rodney. Now stop wastin\u2019 time. Get back in there and act like you was raised right!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I wasn\u2019t!\u201d Rodney scowled deep at Hoss before marching back up the steps.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPretend, boy! Just pretend!\u201d Hoss called after him. The boy had the good sense to close the church door quietly behind him. Hoss shook his head. Being Sergeant to these boys was nine shades of babysitting plus a fair bit of motherin\u2019 with a side of takin\u2019 \u2018em out to the woodshed when the situation warranted. It was a headache most days, and he wasn\u2019t shy about saying so to those who asked, but there was also a part of him that was discovering how good he was at it. Other Sergeants seemed to have a heap more trouble than he did. Their boys were always wandering off, getting drunk, or fighting. Some of those Sergeants seemed to take all of this as a fact of life. Hoss didn\u2019t. One of his misbehaved, and he saw to it that boy got burdened with so much consequence that he\u2019d never even think of making that mistake again. The boys who passed out on the farmer\u2019s land could attest to that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain noticed his success too, and started sending him the hard cases for his squad. He was now running twice the men he had when he left Virginia City. It wasn\u2019t lost on anyone that his group of boys was the biggest, best trained and most well-behaved bunch in Chamberlain\u2019s division.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Today was letter writing day. No matter how tired they were after the barn raising, he was going to make every single one of them write a letter home. Every Sunday was letter writing day. At least half couldn\u2019t even write their first name so it was always a burden for himself and others that could to write out a letter for each of and every one of those boys. When that was all over and all his boys were asleep, he\u2019d sit at the fire and pen his own letter home. He knew to keep it cheery, and filled it with all kinds of news about each of the boys. He wouldn\u2019t write about the struggles of being constantly on the move with no end in sight. He wouldn\u2019t write about stale beans they\u2019d been eatin\u2019 or the fact that he needed suspenders to keep his pants up now. And he certainly wouldn\u2019t write about his trip to headquarters near the Pennsylvania border.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain took him with a week ago to Hooker\u2019s camp just inside of Pennsylvania for a strategy session. Camp was in chaos when they arrived. Hooker\u2019s men were still stumbling in after Chancellorsville when they arrived. The news was grim. Four days of fighting left almost twenty thousand men dead or lost. Hooker lost the ground and had to retreat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain disappeared into a large canvas tent with other high ranking officers for the better part of three days. Having no orders, Hoss knew only to stay close in case his commander needed something. Wave after wave of beaten men arrived. Their faces were dark with grime and they seemed to walk in a daze unaware of their surroundings as if they had become otherworldly creatures. Oftentimes, camp command had to step in to keep them from just marching on past into the endless countryside. It was their eyes that troubled Hoss most — wide, unblinking eyes that seemed to recognize nothing. Hoss had seen eyes like that once before when the surviving soldiers out of Fort Hudson had escaped to Virginia City after an Indian attack. They just wandered around like ghosts for days, seemingly unaware of their own basic needs. Townsfolk organized to make sure the soldiers ate and had beds at night. Ben had taken four out to the ranch to recover. Eventually, they woke up and started to care again, but Hoss never forgot how much it spooked him every time they would look through him as if he wasn\u2019t there.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sitting was no good for Hoss. After an afternoon of it, he paid a guard to keep an eye out for Chamberlain, and made his way to the hospital. Weeks earlier, it had been nothing but a pasture, but now it was the very depths of hell. Men lay everywhere. Some dead, some dying, and other howling from the pain of a lost limb or an untreated wound. Hoss didn\u2019t look for anyone running that place; he just jumped in by attaching himself to a group of nurses and doing every last thing they told him. Night ran into to day into night into day again before the camp guard found him. In that time, he had held men down while doctors sawed off limbs, he\u2019d carried countless bodies to the far end of the meadow where gravediggers waited, and he\u2019d held the hands of boys who cried for their mothers in their last moments of life. It took every ounce of strength he had left to leave the brave and tireless nurses and follow Chamberlain back to Ohio. He was past exhaustion, but sleep was impossible. He rode next to Chamberlain for two days without saying a word. He just looked ahead, his face grim as visions of those soldiers played for him again and again. They eventually took on the faces of his boys as he knew that their turn at the battlefield was coming soon enough.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head sharply to lose the images burned into his consciousness. It would come soon enough, and he was going to make sure his boys were healthy, strong, and as ready as was humanly possible for such a thing as war. The church bell clanged, breaking his reverie. People spilled out of the church, and he chuckled at the look of relief on their faces. Rodney might not have been that far off about that ol\u2019 preacher. In midst of the townsfolk were his boys, a bit ragged but freshly scrubbed, acting polite, making conversation with townspeople. He spied Rodney offering an arm to an old woman at the stairs. This made him smile, but it faded as sadness blanketed him and made him shiver. Rodney and the others would be boys for only another couple of days. War was about to snatch their innocence away so abruptly, it would leave them all gasping for breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The old woman still had Rodney attached at the arm when she approached him. \u201cSergeant, where did you get this sweet boy? He is the epitome of a gentleman. Ohio boys could learn something from him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rodney was grinned madly and Hoss threw back his head and roared. This was definitely going into the letter to Pa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe slid off Cochise and gratefully accepted a cup of coffee from the cook. Despite his youth, every muscle in his body protested the long, dusty ride. He strode over to the wash basin, and splashed water on his face. Rivulets ran down his neck black with dirt. He splashed some behind his neck where it felt the most crusted. It had been almost a month before he\u2019d sat in a good bath, and he reckoned only another cowhand would get within ten yards of him about now.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He nodded at the cook. \u201cI don\u2019t see Adam. Thought he\u2019d be here by now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe was. Left about eight hours ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe frowned as he toweled off his face and arms. \u201cHe and I were scheduled to meet here tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but things happen. We ain\u2019t got no pinto beans. I been feedin\u2019 hands off mesquite beans and fatback.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat! Raleigh was scheduled to be here with supplies three days ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The cook chortled as he stirred the pot he had roasting over the fire. \u201cRaleigh is dumb as a sheep. That boy let hisself get swindled out of your money \u2018fore he even got to the general store. Came back here red-faced and empty-anded. The boys is hanging on with these mesquites, but they\u2019re getting growly and ain\u2019t no way we can wait another week for supplies. Adam fired Raleigh and then set off to get them supplies hisself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head and squatted at the fire. \u201cYou got nothing but mesquites for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cook laughed. \u201cNo, for you, Joe, I got a beef Wellington and Yorkshire pudding right in the back of the wagon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe scowled and focused on the bitter, black coffee in his hands. \u201cI remember when Hoss and I got stuck up the mountains one winter, and we couldn\u2019t find nothing but those mesquites. I swear I almost starved to death. I could barely choke them down.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSpeaking of Hoss, I got a letter to pass on.\u201d Cook leaped up and ran to the back of the wagon. He came trotting back with a worn piece of paper. Joe reached for it eagerly. It took him only a few moments to examine it carefully. Then he folded it again and stuck it in his pocket. He couldn\u2019t hide the disappointment on his face. Hoss\u2019 letters were so unfailingly cheerful that it sounded like they were on some kind of vacation. The letters lacked the information that he was so desperate to know. They were just letters about the zany antics of his soldiers and the quirks of Easterners. Hoss had stopped mentioning the war altogether. It worried him. Made him wonder how close Hoss was to the action. What was really happening to his big brother?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cook cleared his throat. \u201cAdam had the same look on his face after reading it. He read it to the rest of the boys too. Makes war sound like a grand adventure, don\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sighed and stared into the fire. Cook got up and returned with a plate and a fork. He ladled foul smelling mesquites onto the plate and slide a thick slice of fatback on top. Then he handed it to Joe. \u201cYou know Hoss wouldn\u2019t let ya\u2019 go to bed hungry. He\u2019d make ya\u2019 lick that plate clean too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stared down at the plate and nodded. For a moment he could put himself there with Hoss scolding him about missing meals. Hoss would make him eat it. He would be sitting right next to him until he was satisfied that his little brother finished every last bit.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss let them talk while they were marching as long as they kept formation. However, if they didn\u2019t stay in formation, he wasn\u2019t afraid to walk them another two miles after everyone else had stopped for the night and then two miles back again. Everyone had always known him as affable, and that was true enough, but Hoss also had a lot of Ben Cartwright in him and hard work had never bothered him. He figured if he put them through it now, he\u2019d save a lot of trouble later on. And sure enough, while his boys could talk and joke around a bit, they worked hard to stay in formation. Hoss had already forced them on for the extra hike twice since they left Virginia City, and they had no interest in pushing him to do it again. Sometimes he had to stifle a grin when he saw his boys fussing at the new ones about their comportment and such. They weren\u2019t about to let some new jasper ruin things for the lot of them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Today they were walking in Pennsylvania, moving fast on orders from the new Commander-in-Chief, a fellow called Meade. Hoss had a feeling in his gut running all the way up his throat. He ignored the jokes and the teasing today. None of it sat right. Every minute they were moving toward the battles that up to this moment had been nothing more schoolboy fantasies to them. He felt in his heart that life was going to change for all of them shortly, and the dread filled his gut deeper than Hop Sing\u2019s Christmas dinner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSergeant,\u201d called one of the boys. \u201cWe is taking bets as to how many rebs we gonna\u2019 get in the first skirmish. Rodney here says he\u2019s down for at least five. Think he can hit that many with that ol\u2019 squirrel gun o\u2019 his?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t interested in your dumb bets. Don\u2019t try me today,\u201d Hoss growled. \u201cAin\u2019t nothing I\u2019d like better than to march all you savages until sundown.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAw come on, Hoss,\u201d came another voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hank Perdue reached over and slapped that boy on the side of the head. \u201cDon\u2019t call him Hoss, ya\u2019 idjit!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSergeant Hoss, are ya\u2019 scared?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss stopped formation immediately and searched for the voice asking that question. He found him in the middle. Little Jamie Green stood there uneasily, his hair still as snow white as it was when he was in short pants. Hell, the truth was that little Jamie hadn\u2019t yet grown into any notion of being a man. Being 18 didn\u2019t mean that much at all, Hoss figured. He was only 24, but it seemed somehow decades older than 18. Every time he looked at Jamie or any of the other teen-agers in his outfit, he remembered he was doing all of this so Joe didn\u2019t have to. It seemed a crime to send children to fight a war for a bunch of men who\u2019d never see a battlefield up close. The boys next to Jamie drifted away as if trying to rid themselves of a troublemaker.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss stepped forward \u2018til he was in the midst of their ranks. He nodded at Jamie. \u201cYes boy, I am scared. Being scared is a pretty smart thing to be right now, I think. Glad you have the good sense to realize that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Around him, murmurs rose and bodies stirred. Hoss turned to face them all. \u201cThis ain\u2019t no picnic you\u2019re going to. I can\u2019t tell you exactly what it is, but I know that it\u2019s going to be rough. I don\u2019t want you so scared that you can\u2019t function, but I want you scared enough so that you\u2019re not running into this like it\u2019s some kind of game. You got folks and sisters and brothers and pretty gals all praying for you come home safe, and you can\u2019t take that lightly. I expect you to fight hard but fight smart. This outfit don\u2019t need no heroes. You understand me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Around him, heads solemnly nodded. Hoss immediately started to feel bad about being so stern with them all. There was time enough for worrying and fretting. It seemed a shame to take away whatever little fun was left to them now.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He took a deep breath and rubbed at his nose a bit. Then he searched out Rodney in the crowd. \u201cHow you think you\u2019re going to hit five rebs with that squirrel rifle when you ain\u2019t even hit five squirrels with it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The tension broke and they all started laughing. Even Rodney couldn\u2019t help himself. \u201cWell, Sergeant Hoss, I figure a reb target\u2019s a mite bigger than a bitty little squirrel.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow you going to convince them ol\u2019 rebs to stand still long enough for you? I reckon they got enough sense to run when they see you pointin\u2019 that ol\u2019 musket at \u2018em.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That started a roar of laughter mixed with different protests from some and bragging from others. Hoss let them go for a few minutes. Then he pulled them back into formation. \u201cCome on, boys. Good or bad, we can\u2019t waste any time now. Got to make it to a little strip of land called Gettysburg before nightfall.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam found his pa reading a newspaper in the International Gold Hotel in Denver. Joe was sitting across from him stabbing at a plate of eggs like it was personal. Adam swallowed hard. His pa was reading the same paper he\u2019d just finished and he figured Joe must have gotten an earful as well the way he was punishing his breakfast. He sauntered over as casually as possible. Staying calm was his fall back position around his family. It was a good counter to Joe\u2019s impatience and his pa\u2019s frustration.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked up and spotted his eldest. Adam looked worn. Dust muted his dark clothes and hair, and there was a heaviness in his step that was telling. Adam dropped more than sat in the seat next to him. He motioned to the waitress for coffee and a plate of eggs. \u201cHow did it go?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sighed. \u201cWe were 125 short of what I said we\u2019d ship.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben leaned forward. \u201cAdam, it\u2019s still twice what anyone else in the territory can deliver.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cThere are so many variables. Hands who don\u2019t show or lose the supply money. Trouble with the cattle. There isn\u2019t enough time built in to account for the unexpected.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pointed his fork at his brother. \u201cCome on now, Adam. We just loaded 650 cattle on a train for Chicago. In my book, we did good.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t respond. He took a sip of dark coffee and closed his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe here has been telling me that you\u2019re running yourself ragged. Says you aren\u2019t getting enough sleep. Says you\u2019re constantly on the move, never stopping for anything. Looks to me like that\u2019s true.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled and shook his head. \u201cThere\u2019s no other way, Pa. I can\u2019t let this thing fall apart. Not when I made the promises I did. Not when there are armies out East counting on the food we send them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon, you can\u2019t do it all yourself. Joe and I can do more.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I need you in Virginia City working things on that end, and Joe\u2019s already busy working doing work between stations.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe fixed his brother with a look. \u201cI could do more. Right now, I\u2019m just running errands. Give me two of those way stations, and that just leaves you three to manage.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a lot of responsibility, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you said you needed me. Was that just a ploy to keep me from running off with Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mentioning Hoss\u2019 name was electric, and they all stopped what they were doing. Joe wasn\u2019t about to let go. He pointed at the Denver Post in his father\u2019s hands. \u201cDid you read it yet?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid you read the casualty count at Chancellorsville and Vicksburg?\u201d Joe shook his head. \u201cThat stuff can\u2019t be true. That many people can\u2019t die in one day. There ain\u2019t no way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed. \u201cHoss couldn\u2019t have made it to either of those battles in time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pounded the table. \u201cPa, that ain\u2019t the point. He\u2019s there now, and this war is\u2026savage. There ain\u2019t another word for it. I don\u2019t see how it\u2019s ever going to end. Hoss is in the middle. Say what you want, but he\u2019s sitting right in the middle of it right now, mark my words.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe! That\u2019s enough!\u201d Adam glared at his little brother. \u201cTrue or not, there\u2019s nothing we can do. No need to hammer at Pa about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boy stared at his plate. \u201cI guess I can\u2019t help it. I can\u2019t seem to\u2026I just can\u2019t stand not knowing\u2026I can\u2019t stand not being there with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben let out a deep sigh. \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Joe. We all feel this. It\u2019s hard not knowing. Each one of us thinks about him every day. I guarantee it. What we\u2019re doing here is important. Best we can do for him right now is pray and work to get food there in time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded. He looked so deflated as if the outburst took more energy than he had to give.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked at Adam. \u201cWorking yourself into an early grave isn\u2019t any better than going off to war. You look terrible. If you were a horse, I wouldn\u2019t pay two dollars for you. Stop drinking coffee and get a hotel room. You need to sleep until you can\u2019t anymore. You hear me, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa, this thing is going to fall apart\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot in a day, it isn\u2019t. Joe will take the two stations nearest Virginia City. He can do it, and I\u2019ll keep watch over him. You aren\u2019t helping anyone running yourself down like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked up, his eyes bright. \u201cI can do this, Adam. Let me show you. I\u2019m not a boy anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam rubbed at his eyes. His family waited. Finally he looked at both of them. \u201cYou got it, Joe. You take station 1 and 2. I run the rest. We\u2019ll meet at station 3 on Wednesdays.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSounds like a plan, Brother.\u201d Joe was on his feet dumping the rest of his coffee down his throat. \u201cI\u2019m going to take care of things.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRight now?\u201d Ben frowned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey, I slept. Don\u2019t need no more rest. Got to get out there. We got a quota to meet for next week.\u201d Joe grabbed his hat and weaving between tables before either of them could protest further.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. He turned to Adam and found him already nodding off. He rolled his eyes, called for the check, and herded his son off to a bed and a bath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They stood at the top of a hill looking down at pastureland. It was a sight that left Hoss breathless. Below them, through patches of black smoke, men ran, crawled, and fell in every direction. The sound was deafening; explosions and shooting so thick as to be indistinguishable. As terrible as it was, men continued to pour onto the pasture. It seemed endless. Colonel Chamberlain walked between them and the sight below. \u201cLooks horrific, doesn\u2019t it? You\u2019re wondering if we\u2019re going down into that? The answer is yes. We\u2019re going down into that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss licked his lips and looked around at the other sergeants and lieutenants in his midst. Some were shaking their heads. Others were merely staring in horror. Two men were whispering bible verses under their breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSome of you are thinking that you\u2019ll do what you can, but if it\u2019s too crazy, you\u2019ll fall back \u2018cause you can always live to fight another day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Men stared at him silently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain shook his head. \u201cI got something to tell you, boys. We\u2019ve been fighting for two years \u2018cause of thinking like that. We are stronger, bigger, and better resourced than those Johnny Rebs, but they keep beating us. Let me tell you why. They beat us time and again \u2018cause they\u2019re fighting for a way of life that we\u2019re trying to take from them. They don\u2019t live to fight another day. They fight to protect what they know. They\u2019re prepared to die. We aren\u2019t. We live to fight another day. And they keep beating us and beating us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss fixed his eyes on the colonel and didn\u2019t flinch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain eyes were feverish. \u201cIf any of you retreat today, you\u2019ll be doing it for those boys under you. You\u2019ll think that you\u2019re saving lives. Make no mistake! You save nobody with your retreat. Every inch of ground we fail to take today will be ground someone else will have to die for tomorrow. If you live today, you may die tomorrow for land that someone else failed to take.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss nodded slowly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis great country won\u2019t survive ten years of civil war. If we don\u2019t hold our ground, if we don\u2019t make our stand now, then we condemn every man who will be forced to make it for us tomorrow. Are we prepared to live with that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain paused and studied their faces. \u201cIf any one of you can\u2019t commit, I want to know that now. If you take that field, I want you to be prepared to die for it. If this is not for you, I want you to tell me now. There will be no court martial. You\u2019ll be stripped of your duties and transferred to another command.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No one moved a muscle. Chamberlain glared at them steadily for a moment before continuing. \u201cThen who among you is going to lead the charge? Who\u2019s going to take that hill?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss was feeling a thousand different things. He couldn\u2019t see Chamberlain anymore. Instead, he saw mothers and sweethearts. He saw crowds in front of Roy\u2019s office waiting for the daily mail. He saw his brothers and his pa. It felt as if the whole world was looking to him for his answer. There were too many responsibilities, too many reasons why he shouldn\u2019t and too many reasons why he should. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Then to a background chorus of explosions and screams and shouting, Sergeant Hoss Cartwright stepped forward.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Staddy Hopkins has been the telegraph operator in Virginia City for twelve years. It was good work and it paid well enough, but the reason he loved his job was because everybody\u2019s business was his business. He knew everything before anyone else. It was power, pure and simple, and the only reason he\u2019d lasted twelve years in this town was because he\u2019d learned early on that discretion was key.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

However, none of that meant anything when his ticker started dancing one early morning in June 1863.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss wouldn\u2019t ever be able to recall much of the events of that day. There was the moment when he talked to his boys before they went in. He remembered telling them that what they did today was for every man and woman in Nevada territory. He remembered that his heart beat so hard he wondered if it wouldn\u2019t just burst. He remembered the terror in their eyes. He told the youngest ones to stick close to him. The rest of the day was lost to him. There were times he couldn\u2019t see five feet in any direction. The noise was too much for conversation, and shouting seemed to carry into the wind. He saw boys drop around him but he knew he couldn\u2019t stop. He stopped at every boulder propped his rifle and fired. Then he headed for another. Their eyes were on him, he knew this, and he resolved to show only strength.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShorty loiters in town when he goes for supplies. Says it takes four days for him to return when I know dang well it should take him three so I told Bertha Hampton Shorty was sweet on her. That big ol\u2019 girl is on him like a cougar on a jackrabbit the minute he walks into town. Shorty can\u2019t get out of town fast enough now. In fact, he stocks up real good now so he only has to make half the trips he used to make.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head, smiling. \u201cI never knew you to be such a schemer, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u201cIt\u2019s kinda\u2019 fun, actually.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBe careful it doesn\u2019t come back and bite you, Little Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe smirked. \u201cI\u2019m too fast for those ol\u2019 cow pokes.\u201d He reached over and cut off another piece of jackrabbit from the spit on the fire.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam wondered if he had ever been that cocky. He imagined he was, but there was something about the daring with which Joe approached life that both amazed and worried him. He thought that giving Joe two way stations to manage was going to be a world-class mistake, but the boy had been handling the problems with amazingly creative solutions.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sun was going down, and the hands were lounging around the fire, eating beans and drinking whiskey. One of the hands was sawing away on a harmonica, and another was crooning out an old ballad about a girl named Bessie Sue. Joe and Adam sat away from the rest of the men, picking at a rabbit Adam caught on the way, and discussing the mechanics of the drive.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe took a long draw off his coffee and sat back. \u201cHow close are we to making quota this week?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf everything is on schedule, then there will be 850 head of cattle in Denver tomorrow in time for the train.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe let out a yell and pumped a fist into the air. \u201cWe\u2019re doing it, Brother!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam allowed himself a grin. \u201cWe are indeed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re moving twice as many cattle twice as fast as anyone ever did. Can you believe it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt is something, isn\u2019t it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust imagine what we could do, Adam. We already did the impossible. You and I working together with Pa and\u2026Hoss\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s voice trailed off. Adam looked over at him. \u201cI miss him too, Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded and looked away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sighed. \u201cIt\u2019s not the same though, is it Joe? The two of you were attached at the hip for as long as you remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDoes it ever bother you\u2026you know, that Hoss and I are tight like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam threw the remains of his coffee on the fire. \u201cNot really. You were so much younger, and well, I guess I like my solitude. Plus, Hoss doesn\u2019t really let a person get lonely. He was always there whether I needed him or not. Before you were big enough to trail after him, he followed me everywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sighed. \u201cI sure do miss him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked over Joe\u2019s shoulder at the cloud of smoke. \u201cSomeone is coming in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe twisted around. \u201cLooks like Shorty. Thought he\u2019d be another day with supplies.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The horse pounded into camp, and a grizzly old hand jumped off.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe glowered at him. \u201cAre you going to tell me that ol\u2019 Bertha Hampton scared you out of town? You didn\u2019t even bring back supplies.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The man shook his scraggly white beard. \u201cSupplies are coming out tomorrow. New hand is bringing \u2018em. Your Pa wanted me to ride out tonight to bring you the news.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, spit it out, Shorty.\u201d Adam was growing worry in his gut.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere was a big battle out East at a place called Gettysburg in Pennsylvania. Got reason to believe that our boys were there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs that all you know?\u201d Joe felt the pitch of his voice rising.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shorty looked down. \u201cDon\u2019t know much more. Heard tell there was something like 150,000 men in that fight. Also heard that about a third of them didn\u2019t walk away.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The men stood silently around Shorty. Adam and Joe weren\u2019t the only ones with family in that regiment. For a long while, the only sounds around there were that of crickets and a stubborn owl sounding from a nearby grove.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Finally Shorty looked up. \u201cYour Pa said that if they learn more, he\u2019ll ride out personal to tell you. He was waiting for some wires when I left.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe whirled around, threw his hat in the dirt, and stomped off into the dusk. Adam started to follow but stopped. The boy needed a moment. Hell, he needed a moment. He waved the men back to the fire, and stood by himself on the edge of camp, staring out into the horizon long after the last rays of sun disappeared over the horizon.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He stared at the flames flickering the fire in front of him. At times, parts of his brain recognized that it wasn\u2019t in a proper fire pit, and that it should bother him, but he couldn\u2019t seem to access information about what should be done about it. He wondered if the fire was there to keep him warm, and if it was, it certainly needed more wood \u2018cause he felt nothing but cold all the way to his bones.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hands landed on his shoulders but he shrugged them away. There were voices, but they seemed distant and unconnected. Then a man was in front of him pushing and shouting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss got to his feet confused and afraid. Then he felt a sharp slap to the side of his face. \u201cHoss! Hoss!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He blinked and found himself staring into the eyes of Colonel Chamberlain. The colonel\u2019s eyes were red, and his face was streaked with dirt. \u201cHoss, I need you to snap out of it!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss stumbled away from him and looked around. It was almost evening, and he found himself standing in the remains of a charred meadow. In every direction there were bodies laying still, guns strewn about, some of the uniforms were gray and some were blue. Smoke from small fires burned what remained of the grass into the dirt. He shook his head violently and turned back to the colonel. \u201cI\u2019m missing some of my boys, Sir. My count is short. Figure they slipped off for a bit. Nothing AWOL. Just got a little panicked. I just need a few minutes to round them up, and we\u2019ll be right as rain.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The colonel shook his head. \u201cThey didn\u2019t run off, Hoss. Some of your boys didn\u2019t make it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t be, Sir. Some of those boys came with me all the way from Virginia City. I know their ma\u2019s and their pa\u2019s. Promised I would take care of \u2018em.\u201d Hoss began searching the ground frantically. \u201cHaven\u2019t seen little Jamie Green since this thing started. He\u2019s just a slip of a boy. Been meaning to talk to you about him. He might be 18, but he\u2019s really too young for all this. Think it would be best if we shipped him back. He can come back next year.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The colonel pulled him over to the body of a blonde boy lying in the grass looking as peaceful as if he was just taking a nap on a warm afternoon. \u201cYou lost six boys, Hoss. Three of them came with you from Virginia City. This right here is Jamie Green. You lost Gus Aitkins and Russell Wood, also from Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss closed his eyes and groaned. He wanted to drop down beside the boy and shake him. After all, boys were always causing mischief, but the colonel held him fast.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, you did good. Four of your boys are wounded, but the rest made it. You took the hill. You took it and the rebs had no choice but to turn tail and run.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tears started rolling down his cheeks, but he didn\u2019t care. \u201cWhat am I supposed to tell their mamas?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The colonel forced Hoss to look him in the eyes. \u201cTell them that their boys become men, and as men they fought bravely. Tell them that their boys did their part to save this country, and there is nothing this country can ever do to repay them. Tell them their boys were heroes. Tell them their boys died honorable deaths.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss pushed away from him. \u201cDoes that mean anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain followed him. \u201cTo me, it does, and it better to you too. You will look those poor folks in the eye and tell them that their sons\u2019 deaths meant something. You understand me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain gestured with his head. \u201cYour troops are sitting over this hill waiting for you. They aren\u2019t going to leave without you. You need to gather them up and get them back to camp. Make sure they eat and then make sure they go to sleep. Then you go check on your wounded boys. Okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain gripped his arm tightly. \u201cThen you take care of yourself. You fought hard today, Hoss. You did a hard job and you did it bravely. You made a difference. I won\u2019t forget it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss closed his eyes. He felt nothing but pain and anger inside. He had no way of acknowledging the praise coming from his commander.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chamberlain seemed to understand. He squeezed Hoss\u2019 arm and then walked away. Hoss felt a strong urge to stay. The burned meadow seemed timeless, a place where his dead boys could merely be sleeping and he was just waiting for them to wake up, but then he remembered he had a larger group of boys waiting for him just over the hill. And if he was feeling scared, he couldn\u2019t imagine what they must be going through. He swallowed the rest of his tears and rubbed angrily at his face. Then he turned and marched resolutely over the hill to join them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was six weeks before anyone in Virginia City heard the fate of the squad. They didn\u2019t learn anything from the army. Official letters often took 6-12 months to arrive. The first notice came in four white envelopes addressed in Hoss\u2019 distinctive cramped handwriting. Ben didn\u2019t know about it until Mrs. Green brought it to the Ponderosa. She knew what it said. People in town had read it to her, but she wanted to hear it again and again until she knew every word by heart. It was the first sign Ben had that his son was alive, but he tried hard not to betray his emotions. The woman was grieving the loss of her only son. He read it for her carefully and repeatedly. She wasn\u2019t angry. She had no energy for rage. Everything about her just seemed so desperately sad. She stayed all afternoon, but he was happy to take the time. These words written by his son were his only present connection and he found them revealing. Hoss wrote simply but eloquently about her boy. It was personal but not bombastic. There were no allusions about little Jamie Green fighting off the rebs singlehandedly. It was just stories about how hard he tried and the challenges he faced, and how he handled it all with integrity. She finally smiled through the tears and thanked him for his time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben waited for his letter. He knew Hoss was alive but that wasn\u2019t enough. His middle son felt everything, and he could imagine the emotional turmoil he was experiencing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Other letters started pouring in, but none from Hoss. One Sunday, Mr. and Mrs. Yeats came up to him after the service, and congratulated him on Hoss\u2019 promotion to Lieutenant. Ben couldn\u2019t hide his surprise. Mr. Yeats explained that Rodney wrote to him about it, saying that Hoss turned it down repeatedly until Colonel Chamberlain threatened to court martial him. Rodney wrote that they still see Hoss, but he has a whole platoon now. The colonel put three squads under his command.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A month after that, Ben got his first letter. However, it wasn\u2019t from his son. It was from Colonel Chamberlain. When the Postmaster handed it him, a fear gripped and he had to sit down. The most powerful man in the Nevada territory felt too terrified to move from the dusty steps in front of the Post Office. People passed by, some pausing at the sight. A few noted the letter in his hand, but no one stopped; if anything, they quickened their steps. No one wanted to be a part of the shadow of death that followed the mail these days. Finally Roy Coffee noticed him. Roy was a man of action, and he didn\u2019t need all the particulars to know enough to go over and pull his friend up, and steer him over to his office.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cListen to me, Ben. We would have known if there had been a major battle. Clearly this is something else.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed deeply. \u201cI\u2019m trying to tell myself that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, open it. You can\u2019t tell me that not knowing is doing you any favors.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded, picked up the envelope he\u2019d been holding so tightly and tore it open. He looked at the letter and let out a deep breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben licked his lips. \u201cIt says, Dear Mr. Cartwright, I am writing to tell you that your son is alive and well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy sat back and relaxed while Ben read the rest of it silently. Then he looked up, his brow furrowed. \u201cHe says that Hoss was promoted and has acquitted himself honorably at Gettysburg and the few minor skirmishes they have encountered since then. He then goes on to say that Hoss has been invaluable to him. He heard that Hoss hadn\u2019t written in awhile, and wants me to know that it isn\u2019t because Hoss isn\u2019t able. He says that some men encounter war in such a way that they don\u2019t know how to adequately express themselves once they experience it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stopped and frowned at Roy for a moment before continuing. \u201cChamberlain says that he reminded him how important it was to stay in touch with his family, and told him that he would drop this note so I would know he was okay. He said that Hoss would write me shortly.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy reached over and poured a cup of coffee. \u201cI can\u2019t say I\u2019m surprised, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took the offered cup. \u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss is a sensitive man. He\u2019s feeling for all of the boys he\u2019s responsible for. I know what it\u2019s like. It reminds me of my first deputy, Wade. I sent him into a situation that I knew was deadly \u2018cause there wasn\u2019t any other choice. The boy died, and I had to talk to the family. It wasn\u2019t my fault. I was a lawman and he was a lawman, but I never forgot that he was dead as a direct result of a decision I had made. I didn\u2019t want to talk to anyone for a good long time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss can\u2019t blame himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know. I\u2019m sure he\u2019s confused as much as anything. Just needs some time to sort it all out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cIf he was here, he\u2019d talk to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll figure it out, Ben. He\u2019s young but he\u2019s all Cartwright. You\u2019re all a resourceful bunch. Look at how the other two are blazing trails with their newfangled cattle drive. Hoss has got quite a few tricks up his sleeve. I ain\u2019t go no worries on it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben received his first letter from Hoss a few weeks after he\u2019d heard from the colonel. It was the first he\u2019d heard from Hoss in almost five months. It was brief and there were attempts at cheers, but the passage Ben went back to again and again said, \u201cPa, I didn\u2019t realize it would be so hard not having you around for counsel. You\u2019ve made this crazy world make sense for me so many times. This time I got to reason it out on my own. There are days when I understand why I\u2019m here and why we\u2019re doing what we\u2019re doing, and there are days when I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll ever be able to hold my head high in Virginia City again. Other men don\u2019t question what happens here and they sleep fine. I wish I could be that sort of man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben kept the letter in his breast pocket. He pulled it out every day hoping to find some clue that would help him better understand what was happening to his son. He reckoned that he was every bit as confused as Hoss was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The speech was only a month old but Hoss had already worn a copy of it to a frazzle. He read it most every day. He read it to his sergeants and soldiers as well although he was surprised to find that few of them found it as comforting as he did.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There were answers in the address President Lincoln gave at the ceremony to memorialize Gettysburg in November. Hoss wasn\u2019t sure exactly what they were, but he felt comforted by the words. Reading the address left him feeling less like he was part of a horrendous nightmare, and more like he was a part of something with real purpose and meaning. It was the last part of the short address that comforted him most.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026.It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us – that from these honored dead we may take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion – that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain – that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom – and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It made him feel like taking that hill had meant something. Jamie, Russell, and Gus had died fighting for something important. It filled an emptiness that had been gnawing at him since the day he found their dead bodies. It didn\u2019t matter that his boys didn\u2019t understand it; he\u2019d keep reading it to \u2018em \u2018til they did.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben couldn\u2019t hide the pleasure he felt at having two of his sons home again. There was no way to drive the cattle effectively to Denver over the winter months. Adam and Joe went onto Denver to meet with General Peeler, and returned two days ago with a surprise. Adam was promoted to Captain, and Peeler commissioned Joe as a Lieutenant. Joe was so excited he wanted to wear his bars on his ranch clothes. Adam had a quiet word with Joe about it, and he put them away. Ben watched this in amazement. Joe and Adam had always been more like oil and water; yet here they were, Adam giving Joe direction and Joe nothing more than nodding his head in agreement. Hoss\u2019 absence wore on him like a heavy cloak every day, but watching his other two sons discover each other without the big man to serve as a buffer was an unexpected surprise.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing was cooking up a storm for Christmas dinner. Everyone made an effort at cheer for the holiday, but it felt forced. It wasn\u2019t the same without Hoss there hovering, sneaking bites, teasing Hop Sing. Hoss embodied holidays at the Ponderosa. His exuberance about any celebration had always filled the house with a festive air. The Cartwrights didn\u2019t realize the extent of Hoss\u2019 presence until they tried to replicate his holiday cheer. They were all operating outside their family roles, but it didn\u2019t stop them. Christmas demands a sense of normalcy so they refused to leave out any of the trappings.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben invited all of the families whose boys were out East for Christmas, and Joe had impulsively invited General Peeler and his family. While the General wasn\u2019t able to leave Denver, his wife and two comely daughters made the trip. Joe made no secret of his interest in General Peeler\u2019s youngest daughter, Augusta. She was a lovely girl with light brown hair that danced in ringlets about her head, and blue eyes that sparkled like sapphires. She had a wonderful energy, and Ben had to admit he couldn\u2019t help but smile when she was in the room. The older daughter was an interesting contrast. Joan Peeler was like Aphrodite herself – blonde hair, blue eyes, calm, intelligent. Augusta made him smile but Joan made him stare. It didn\u2019t take him long to notice that Adam was also observing the blonde goddess. Luckily, Ben\u2019s duties as a host to General Peeler\u2019s wife kept him from looking like a lovesick schoolboy. Mrs. Peeler required quite a bit of his time. She seemed under the distinct impression that her job this visit was to evaluate the suitability of Cartwright men as potential husbands. She brought very little subtlety with her. Ben found himself queried on all sorts of subjects from the quality of ladies society in Virginia City to the extent of his financial holdings. He did the best he could to accommodate her while still maintaining a sense of decorum.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing put out a roast pig, several stuffed geese, and beef steaks. There were potatoes and yams and corn puddings. The sideboard groaned under the weight of pies and cakes. Men with fiddles played waltzes by the fireplace. Everyone came, and the house was filled with dancing and eating. Mothers gathered around Ben\u2019s desk. Everyone brought all letters they received, and exchanged them as if they were all pieces of a gigantic puzzle and by putting them all together they would finally understand their sons\u2019 experiences. Ben was no less interested than any of them, and would have stay huddled around his desk with them all night if not for his responsibilities as a host.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pulled Augusta around the dance floor with such gusto that, at times, it looked as if she was hanging on for dear life. Adam took Joan out for a few spins, but mostly the statuesque girl preferred to sit next to her mother and sip on champagne punch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The frenzy of the festivities carried an edge of desperation as folks struggled to find celebration with each other in the absence of their beloved sons. Joan Peeler might have been sipping at her punch, but her mother seemed to be inhaling it, and Adam had lost count of the number of times he\u2019d gone to the bowl to refresh her drink. He was on one of these missions when a flushed Augusta bumped into him, her light curls wild about her face. Adam reached out to steady her. \u201cJoe finally let you go, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her face was damp and mottled red, and he wasn\u2019t sure if it was exhaustion or embarrassment that had hold of her, but she smiled brightly at him. \u201cI am having the most marvelous time. Who knew such diversion could be found out here in the West?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her spirit really was infectious and he couldn\u2019t help but smile in response. \u201cWe have our moments, Miss Augusta, but it isn\u2019t anything the society one finds in a large city.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She scrunched up her face. \u201cI am so tired of those stiff old bags. Their parties are grand, but everyone is so boring, and I am always doing something wrong. Mama says I am a scandal on my best day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He nodded. \u201cWell, I would have to agree that it is less stuffy here. Would you like to live in a place like this?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her face flushed even more deeply. \u201cI don\u2019t know. I suppose\u2026I could.\u201d She looked away in embarrassment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam quickly changed the subject. \u201cHow long have you been in Denver?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She smiled again. \u201cFive years. Before that it was Chicago, and before that it was Cincinnati, Ohio.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour sister is quite well-read. Where were you educated?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTutors mostly. Joan is the smart one. Mama says I have the artistic temperament.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam offered her a glass of punch, nodded, and started to head back to her mother and sister.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, wait please.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He stopped.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe really are having such a wonderful time here. I can\u2019t remember when I\u2019ve ever laughed so much. Joe is such a gentleman. He\u2019s just\u2026wonderful.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam put down his glasses. \u201cYeah, he really is something, that little brother of mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI just feel so happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He studied her for a moment. She was quite fetching in a powder blue gown, her eyes sparkling. He was certain that Little Joe was thinking about how wonderful she was as well. He took in a breath. \u201cAugusta, has Joe told you much about our brother, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She nodded. \u201cHe\u2019s big and sweet and as strong as a pair of field oxen.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd Joe misses him terribly.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She looked down. \u201cHe is quite worried about him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe and Hoss have been inseparable since\u2026since the day Joe was born. Joe\u2019s really been lonesome since Hoss went off to war.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She chewed her bottom lip in a way that made Adam feel something odd and unsettling inside. \u201cYou wanted me to know this for a reason?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He nodded. \u201cJoe hasn\u2019t been happy since Hoss left and then he met you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe makes me happy too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can see that, but it makes me wonder if what\u2019s happening between the two of you right now is because the two of you belong together or because Joe is so very lonely.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She jerked her head up and blinked. \u201cAdam Cartwright, what are you saying?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam put out a hand to steady here. \u201cI\u2019m not saying he doesn\u2019t like you, Augusta. He would be a fool not to. You\u2019re the prettiest girl in Nevada territory.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She scowled and gestured at her sister. \u201cI\u2019m not even the prettiest girl in this room.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He shook his head. \u201cPretty is more than just looks. It\u2019s the joy you bring, the way you light up a room, the way you\u2026\u201d Adam cleared his throat, wondering if his face was growing as red as hers. \u201cAugusta, I am very happy that you and Joe have found each other. I just want you to take it slow. Joe\u2019s in a\u2026vulnerable state right now. He misses his brother very much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her beautiful eyes filled with tears and her chin quivered, and for a moment, he thought she might dissolve right in front of him, making him the most miserable excuse for a host this side of an Indian scalping party. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, and pressed her lips together. Then, amazingly, she seemed to swallow all of the heartache, and when she opened her eyes again, she was completely composed. He let out breath he didn\u2019t even know he was holding. She reached for his hand. \u201cThank you so much, Adam. I know that you\u2019re doing what you think best.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He blinked his surprise. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry for\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t, Adam, don\u2019t be sorry. You care about Joe. You should never apologize for that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam found himself at a loss for words in front of this slip of girl. Suddenly, Joe was there, his eyes merry. \u201cWhat are two of you doing, huddled here around the punch like a couple of thieves?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta\u2019s face brightened. \u201cI want to dance.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe whooped, and hooked her around the waist, spinning her out onto the dance floor. Adam stood there, watching them dance about deliriously. After a few moments, he realized he was staring, shook his head, and headed back to the Ladies Peeler.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss pushed Rodney out of the way as he strode down the beautifully paved streets of Hopewell, Virginia. Rodney stumbled, got to his feet, and ran after him. \u201cLieutenant Hoss! We got orders. Captain Reynolds said we could appropriate supplies. It\u2019s Christmas!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss ignored him and jumped on the porch to the General Store. Union men were stacking boxes in a wagon. He brushed past them and into the store. A Sergeant Muller was directing activities while the shopkeeper and several women clustered behind the counter. Hoss walked into Muller, grabbed him by his collar, and then dragged him out of the store. On the porch, he pushed him against the wall, and watched as the smaller man slid down until he slumped to the ground. Hoss pointed a finger in his face. \u201cThere will be no looting on my watch. Do you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sergeant shook his head as if trying to clear and looked up. \u201cI got orders. Captain Reynolds said we could appropriate supplies for the Christmas celebration. I got orders!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, now you got new ones.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Muller scrambled to his feet. \u201cYou can\u2019t do this, Lieutenant. The Captain will bust you down to private. We took this Reb town fair and square. \u2018Sides, it ain\u2019t fair to the boys. We been struggling for grub for months now. The boys deserve the celebration. You can\u2019t just take it away \u2018cause you got silly old ideas that have no place in this war.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss advanced while Muller backpedaled until he ran out of porch and landed hard on his backside in the street below. \u201cYou go on back to Reynolds, and you tell him I spoiled his fun. Ifn\u2019 he wants to bust me, he can go right ahead. I ain\u2019t fond of my job much as it is.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A red-faced Muller scrambled after his hat, and headed for his horse. The soldiers who had been stocking the wagon started to unload it without asking for orders. Hoss nodded at them, and then walked back into the store. Rodney slapped the wall in frustration and followed him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Inside, Hoss doffed his hat and nodded. \u201cI\u2019m sure sorry about this, folks. My boys are hungry, and sometimes they forget their manners.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One of the women narrowed her eyes at him. \u201cTypical Yankee!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Ma\u2019am. It sure does appear that way, but I have good men under me, and it\u2019s only circumstances that turned \u2018em wild.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The shopkeeper swallowed hard. \u201cHow much are you taking?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u201cAin\u2019t taking none of it. The only way we take something out of this town is with coin.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour coin isn\u2019t any good here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Sir, but I have an idea about that. Would you be interested in some bartering?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An angry woman stepped forward. \u201cWe\u2019d rather starve. We can\u2019t be doing business with the enemy while our boys are suffering on the line. It\u2019s just plain wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss nodded. \u201cI see your point, Ma\u2019am. However, it is a holiday, and I expect every last one of us could use some cheer about now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have anything we need.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Ma\u2019am.\u201d Then he turned to Rodney, lowered his head, and started whispering into the boy\u2019s ear. Rodney nodded and whispered back to him. Hoss straightened up. \u201cMa\u2019am, I\u2019m not sure if you\u2019re speaking for all the folks in this town. Here\u2019s the deal. We\u2019ll see if anyone takes it. We have flour and sugar. Now I imagine that you folks have little of either, being as so many of the mills are up north and such. In return, we would like eggs and milk.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rodney tugged at his sleeve and whispered more at him. Hoss smiled. \u201cRodney here figures you ain\u2019t had much in the way of meat either as your menfolk ain\u2019t around to shoot no game and you\u2019re low on stock. We can help you out there too. I reckon we can rassle up a mess of squirrel, rabbit, and game hen for you as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The women huddled and started to discuss it. The shopkeeper stood to the side, and it was clear that he let the womenfolk make decisions for him. There was another woman not huddled with the rest. She was young, but met Hoss\u2019 eyes directly. She had thick brown hair and big, soft brown eyes like a whitetail doe. She stared at him steadily for a moment and then stepped forward. \u201cI\u2019ll barter with you, Lieutenant.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The angry woman broke from the pack before Hoss could respond. \u201cYou will not Georgia Mae Houston. You back away from him right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia flinched but stood her ground. \u201cYou\u2019re my sister-in-law, Mary Ellen, but that\u2019s all. I can make my own decisions.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss intervened. \u201cLadies, when this war is over, we\u2019re going to find out that there\u2019s about the same amount of goodness and meanness on both sides of these here conflict. I reckon that if your menfolk were here, they wouldn\u2019t begrudge you for getting some extra vittles for your young \u2018uns even if it is from Yankees. I know my family wouldn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia turned to her sister-in-law. \u201cHe\u2019s right. John wouldn\u2019t want me to pass up an opportunity to get some meat and flour for Mason.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mary Ellen planted her hands on her hips. \u201cDon\u2019t you go speaking for the dead!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia\u2019s mouth quivered. \u201cHe was my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you\u2019ve done nothing but spit in his memory from the day he rode out of here with General Stonewall Jackson\u2019s regiment.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia turned away from her. \u201cLieutenant, I have six old milking cows and a mess of laying hens. I can keep you in eggs and milk for the time you\u2019re here. All I ask is that you supply flour and sugar to the General Store here and Mr. Gaines here can ration it out as he sees fit.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMa\u2019am, we\u2019re most likely camping here for the winter.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia nodded. \u201cMy livestock can provide for as long as you\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss smiled. \u201cI\u2019ll have the boys catch some rabbits for you this afternoon. And I was noticing that some of these roofs are in disrepair. I\u2019ll have \u2018em starting working on it in the morning. We\u2019re happy to help with other chores as well.\u201d He turned to Rodney. \u201cYou heard her, boy. I want fifty pounds of flour and twenty pounds of sugar in this man\u2019s store before sundown. And I want eight rabbits a day for these folks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rodney grinned. \u201cI\u2019ll hunt \u2018em myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss grabbed Rodney\u2019s collar before he could run out of the store. \u201cRemember, Rodney, hunting ain\u2019t the same thing as catching.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAwww, Lieutenant.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss nodded. \u201cJust take a few boys with you is all. There\u2019s plenty of work for all of you. Oh, and tell Cook he\u2019s making cakes for Christmas.\u201d He let go and watched as the boy bolted out the door and down the street.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re nothing but a Yankee lover, Georgia Mae.\u201d Mary Ellen sneered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia smiled sweetly. \u201cI\u2019m sure you don\u2019t want to partake in any of these tainted goods. Let\u2019s arrange for Mr. Gaines to leave you out of the rationing. I don\u2019t want to stain your good character.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I never!\u201d Mary Ellen puffed up, picked up her considerable skirts, and marched out of the store.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss had to lower his head to hide the smile growing on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shut the front door behind him, and dropped his hat and coat on the sideboard. It had been a long day rounding up strays. Winter run off told him they be able to start the round up in a couple of weeks, and having cattle on trains traveling east within a month. The logistics of pulling the drive together again were mind boggling especially since he\u2019d pledged 950 head a week for the entire season.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The fire was roaring, and he wanted nothing more than to sit in front of it with a cup of coffee and close his eyes. \u201cHop Sing!\u201d he shouted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Chinese man hurried out of the kitchen. \u201cCoffee coming up for you straight away. And for you, Miss Augusta?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned his head to find the maddening Augusta Peeler seated in the high-backed red chair across from him with one of Ben Cartwright\u2019s thick books laid out in her lap.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She smiled brightly. \u201cNo thank you, Hop Sing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All chance of rest was lost for him now, but he settled in the chair nonetheless. \u201cI thought that you ladies were going to be in town all day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMama and Joan went in, but I was in the mood for something quieter. Your father gave me permission to look through his library, and I\u2019ve been having the most wonderful afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He nodded at the large book in her lap. \u201cI thought you were the one with the artistic temperament.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBeing artistic doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m illiterate. I enjoy reading about natural history, and this is a most interesting journal of the naturalist Sir Francis Chadwick\u2019s exploration of the Dakota Territory.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He settled back in his chair. \u201cSir Francis had some very interesting observations on the American Buffalo.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She wrinkled her nose. \u201cPerhaps although I think he made altogether too many conclusions about the species.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam cocked his head. \u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She grinned. \u201cAh, the Age of Enlightenment\u2026science can explain all things.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow I\u2019m really confused.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She leaned forward. \u201cI had this tutor once — he was wonderful so of course my mother fired him — but I had him for a year and what a year that was.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled. \u201cTell me more.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, he told me that the problem with science is that the more we think we know, the less we actually do. Once we think we know, we stop seeking. We have become so fond of facts that we create them where they don\u2019t exist. They are the legitimacy of science. There is no accomplishment where there is no conclusion.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI bet your mother did fire him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou agree with her?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam considered this for a moment. \u201cYour tutor addresses a very real problem. Poorly conceived science can be very harmful; it can mask the real truths and lead us to erroneous conclusions. However, there are demonstrable truths, and I believe that the natural world can be logically explained.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She pulled the book shut and rested it against the chair. \u201cMen are so fond of logic.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam frowned. \u201cOf course, we are. It is the basis of all understanding.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She turned her attention to the crackling embers, and her profile left him marveling on how the rose color of her gown so perfectly matched the color in her cheeks. No amount of hair dressing seemed to capture the light brown ringlets that framed her face. Then she leaned back and looked at him again. \u201cLogic is overrated. It doesn\u2019t account for exceptions. It doesn\u2019t account for\u2026so many things.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOnly because people refuse to apply it correctly.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She laughed. \u201cYou are really something, Adam Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He regarded her carefully. \u201cThere\u2019s something about you, Augusta. You have the uncanny ability to leave me feeling tongued-tied. I don\u2019t know how you do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I\u2019m only a mere slip of a girl?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He cleared his throat. \u201cI didn\u2019t say that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to be twenty this summer.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I am going to be 32 in the fall.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAge isn\u2019t everything, Adam Cartwright.\u201d She folded her arms across her chest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A silence descended. He couldn\u2019t quite figure how the conversation landed here or what exactly they were talking about. He winced at her. \u201cI think I\u2019ve offended you and I\u2019m not sure how. Do you understand what we\u2019re talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you use some logic? I\u2019m sure it will come to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He closed his eyes. \u201cI concede. Logic can\u2019t be used to understand everything\u2026especially when it comes to women.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She pointed a delicate finger at him. \u201cNor does logic explain why I leave you tongue-tied.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing chose that moment to come in with a nice hot cup of coffee, and Adam reached for it as if it were the nectar of life itself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She laughed at his discomfort. \u201cLet\u2019s not fuss. They\u2019ll be back any minute and I promised Joe a walk after dinner. Can I show you the maps Chadwick made of the Dakotas? I\u2019m fascinated by how he drew the topography.\u201d Without waiting for his response, she reached for the book and headed toward him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss looked forward to the morning walk. He always got up before the sun, harnessed the mule to the cart, and walked the three miles to her farm. The cows were already milked and the eggs gathered by the time he got there. It wasn\u2019t work for a Lieutenant in the Union army, but he insisted on doing it. It was a chance for him to be by himself, something that rarely happened these days with his responsibilities. It gave him space to plan the day, and ponder on the current challenges of command.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If that wasn\u2019t reason enough, there was also the opportunity to see Mrs. Georgia Mae Houston on a daily basis. He trapped each short visit in his mind, bringing it out for those moments before sleep when he needed thoughts that were peaceful and good. The woman with the deep, sad eyes captivated him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Russell, a large Black man, emerged from the barn and nodded to him. Behind him was Russell\u2019s son, Donald, who was already taller than his pa, but skinnier than a fence post. Hoss smiled and urged the mule forward. As usual, he was looking around the yard for some signs of Mrs. Georgia Mae. It must have been obvious because Russell shook his head. \u201cShe ain\u2019t out here today, Lieutenant. The boy took sick in the night. She\u2019s been nursing him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss frowned. \u201cShe didn\u2019t send for a doc?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Russell shook his head. \u201cAin\u2019t any left in these parts. They\u2019re all off at the field hospitals.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou think Mrs. Houston might need anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Russell shrugged. \u201cI ain\u2019t got no nursing skills. These days we all have to make due on our own.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss nodded. \u201cI\u2019ll just check on her while you load me up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The white house was big and ornate with a porch that wrapped around all four sides. He noted how fine the detailing was. It was quite a contrast to his own home which, while majestic, was rough hewn in comparison. He stepped up to the porch and knocked. There was no answer. For a moment, he stood awkwardly on the porch, and then he tried the door. It swung open. \u201cMa\u2019am\u2026ah, Mrs. Houston, are you in?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was no response and he stepped in. The inside was as ornate as the outside. Every piece of furniture carved within an inch of its life. He couldn\u2019t imagine that kings lived any finer. Through the kitchen was a drawing room with a grandfather clock ticking dutifully in the corner. The room was typically dark with ruffled curtains covering windows so that the sun wouldn\u2019t fade the prints on the settees, chairs and pillows. At the end of the room, he heard a moan and strode over. A small boy with dark brown hair was groaning in his sleep under a lacy afghan. The boy\u2019s cheeks were scarlet and Hoss laid the back of his hand gently on his face. It was hot and dry. Without thinking about it, Hoss lifted the boy up and carried him into the kitchen where there was more light. He sat in a chair and carefully examined the boy for signs of rash or pustules.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMason!?\u201d came a high pitched scream, and Mrs. Houston ran down the stairs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss stood up. \u201cIn here, Mrs. Houston.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She came rushing in, her dark hair disheveled and hanging on her shoulders. \u201cWhat happened? He was sleeping\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShhh!\u201d Hoss drew a finger to his lips. \u201cHe still is. I was just checking on him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow did you\u2026why\u2026what do you want?\u201d Mrs. Houston leaned unsteadily on the back of a chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s alright, Ma\u2019am. Your man said your boy was sick. I just came in to see if I could help.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not a doctor.\u201d She walked up to him and pulled the boy out of his arms.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Ma\u2019am, you\u2019re right on that score, but I did grow up out in the territories. Doctors were hard to come by. My little brother used to fever up something regular, him being such a puny thing and all. I guess I\u2019ve had a bit of experience in this area.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her shoulders dropped perceptibly. \u201cMama always called the doctor in when we ailed. I don\u2019t have much experience with this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He put out his arms. \u201cHand him over now. Just going to make sure he doesn\u2019t have anything serious. Then we\u2019re going to see about getting him some treatments.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She gave the boy back reluctantly. He was awake now, but too fevered to worry about who was holding him. Hoss checked him over just as he\u2019d seen Pa and Hop Sing do with Joe on many occasions. \u201cIt looks good, Ma\u2019am. I think he\u2019s probably got a bit of swamp fever. Can\u2019t tell for sure, but I think he\u2019ll be fine just as soon as we get something in him to reduce his fever.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss smiled softly. \u201cThese woods are full of medicine. It ain\u2019t a problem. What I need is simple. Could you ask Russell\u2019s son to gather up some calendula and some chamomile. Do you know what those look like?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood, good. You and I are going to make some tea for the boy. Do you mind asking Russell if he\u2019d pull the mule back to my camp? I reckon it\u2019s going to take a few hours for all of this and the milk ain\u2019t going to wait that long.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She hesitated, looking at him for a moment as if trying to find certainty in her heart about the big Union soldier. Finally, she nodded and hurried out the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss walked her through every step. The boy fussed over the tea, but Hoss had a piece of brown sugar wrapped in cloth in his pocket. He melted some in the tea, and the boy took to sucking at it with a great deal more enthusiasm. Embarrassed, he looked up at Georgia Mae. \u201cI brought the sugar for the boy anyhow. Figured he\u2019d warm up to a treat. He usually just runs away when he sees me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She sat across from him, looking worn, but her eyes were focused steadily on her son. \u201cI\u2019m used to people doing\u2026for me. Then this war happened and my husband died and I\u2019ve had to figure out so many things.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou have family here?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She smiled. \u201cMy in-laws, I suppose. My own family went north after Fort Sumter. My papa was a newspaperman and an abolitionist. We weren\u2019t very popular around these parts. But I married for love and I had to stay.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou felt right marrying into a family with slaves, I mean, you being an abolitionist and all?\u201d Hoss immediately sensed the intrusion of the question.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She bit her lip for a moment. \u201cMy husband convinced me that his slaves were like family, and, to be fair, I think he cared about them, but he didn\u2019t respect them. When he died, I set them free. That\u2019s one of the reasons I\u2019m not in good standing with my in-laws. They say I had no right.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Russell and Donald?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t run this farm without them. I told them that if they stayed, they could share in the sale of the place when the war is over.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss nodded. \u201cSounds fair.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She started to laugh. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing fair about it, Lieutenant. If life was fair, I wouldn\u2019t be a widow at 24 and you\u2019d be at home with your wife and family. Russell and Donald wouldn\u2019t have ever been slaves.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He nodded. \u201cI can\u2019t argue with you there, Mrs. Houston. Life ain\u2019t fair, but I guess some of us have more good fortune than others.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you fortunate?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss worried his bottom lip for a moment. \u201cI\u2019d have to say that I am most fortunate. I don\u2019t have a wife or children, but I have a Pa and two brothers, and we\u2019re a strong family. When this is over, I intend to go back to Nevada, find a nice girl, build a house near my Pa, and have maybe, 10 or 15 kids.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia Mae snorted delicately into her hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss narrowed his eyes. \u201cThat seems like too many, don\u2019t it? I reckon I should make sure I find a girl that would be up to that much birthing and baby raising. Or, ah\u2026maybe I\u2019ll go down on the number a bit. Wasn\u2019t really thinking on how all that would be for a girl. Looks like I got to look at this from a few more angles.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She shook her head. \u201cForgive me. Keep your dreams, Lieutenant. I\u2019m just a bitter Southern girl with nothing to look forward to but more debt and humiliation.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMa\u2019am, I know this ain\u2019t going to mean much now, but this misery ain\u2019t going to last. Life wasn\u2019t made to be only good or bad. We just forget that when it\u2019s bad. We forget that one day it\u2019ll be good again. I know you don\u2019t feel it, but I guarantee that life\u2019s gonna\u2019 look up for you again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She looked away. \u201cI don\u2019t know if I believe that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI realize I\u2019m a simple country boy, but I just can\u2019t help believing that good times are just around the corner.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t respond, and for a few minutes, there was an awkward silence between them. Then a little fist reached up and grabbed the bars on his collar. Mason\u2019s big brown eyes were open. Hoss extricated his collar from the boy and felt his forehead. Then he smiled. \u201cI think that tea did the trick.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia Mae reached for the boy and hugged him tightly. She looked up to see Hoss already on his feet. \u201cThank you, Lieutenant.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He reddened a bit. \u201cAh, \u2018twas nothing, Ma\u2019am. Just make sure he gets some of that tea every morning for a week. He\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll see you tomorrow, Lieutenant.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He looked at the floor. \u201cWell, I\u2026I reckon I oughta\u2019 pass this chore on to one of my sergeants. It was something of a luxury to go off by myself like this every day. Spring is on full now, and I figure we\u2019re going to get orders any day. I can\u2019t afford anymore time daydreaming. It was nice meeting you, Ma\u2019am. You and your son are going to be just fine.\u201d He tipped his hat and was out the door before she could say a word.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAll I\u2019m looking for is a promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf what, Joe? I just don\u2019t see the point.\u201d Augusta played with a curl at the nape of his neck. Joe Cartwright was one of the most beautiful people of either sex that she had ever seen. He seemed perfect in many ways: exciting, handsome, bright, considerate, rich. Kissing him seemed to feel like heaven itself. She knew she should feel like the luckiest girl in the world.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t see you for months, maybe 6. You\u2019re going to leave for Denver on the stage tomorrow. Adam and I are going to be on the trail by the end of the week. I want to know that you\u2019re still going to be my girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her eyes widened. \u201cNow Joe, I\u2019m sure I don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He leaned over and kissed her again. \u201cAggie, I think about you all day every day. You\u2019re the most beautiful girl in the world. You\u2019re the kind of girl I can imagine spending the rest of my life with.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She broke away. \u201cFlattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Cartwright. However, you and I are not ready for promises or thinking about the future or anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAggie\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She put a finger to his lips. \u201cShhh! Nothing\u2019s real right now. Years from now, people will talk about how things were before the war and how things were after the war. Wartime is just a holding pattern. Feelings, desires, goals: everything will feel different when the war is over. There\u2019s no need for promises until things are real again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat I feel is real and you can\u2019t tell me nothing else, Aggie Peeler.\u201d Joe got up off the sofa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She leaned toward him. \u201cLet\u2019s wait \u2018til Hoss gets back. Let\u2019s see how things are going to be then.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe snorted. \u201cThat ain\u2019t going to make no difference. I don\u2019t need him to tell me what I already know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She looked down at her hands. \u201cI\u2019m just not ready, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The front door opened and Ben Cartwright came in, shaking rain of his coat and hat. \u201cIt\u2019s a good spring rain. Just the sort of rain we need on the grassland right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned on his heel and marched past his father out the door. Ben blinked as he watched his youngest run right into the pouring rain. Then he turned and saw young Augusta Peeler, chin trembling. Three wives taught him that a sight like this doesn\u2019t get ignored. He cleared his throat and walked over to the girl whose eyes were getting redder by the moment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAugusta dear, can I get you something to drink?\u201d She shook her head. He sat down next to her gently. \u201cIt\u2019s not so bad to quarrel, you know. All young lovers do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief. \u201cI can\u2019t give him what he wants, Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s face darkened. He knew from experience that there were very few things that young men truly wanted from young ladies.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She saw his face and her eyes widened. \u201cNo sir. Joe\u2019s been the perfect gentleman.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen what is it that you can\u2019t give him?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright, did you marry for love?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He nodded. \u201cRemarkably, I married for love three times.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid you ever meet a girl who was just perfect in every way, but one that you didn\u2019t want to marry?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He furrowed his brow while he thought. \u201cI believe that there were a few ladies like that in my past.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand how love works. If someone is everything you want, then the feelings should just be there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He smiled. \u201cLove is magical, Augusta. It defies logic.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She leaned over, touching his arm. \u201cBut sometimes love grows, right? Sometimes, it isn\u2019t there in the beginning, but it grows.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sometimes it does, but why push it? Neither of you needs to be in any hurry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She rose up to her knees. \u201cI\u2019m not, Mr. Cartwright. I want to wait. I don\u2019t want to push anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cI see. My son is impatient.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe wonderful in every way imaginable, but I don\u2019t feel what I think I should feel.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou think you know what love feels like, Augusta.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She closed her eyes. \u201cIf it feels crushing and overwhelming and hopeless, then I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t feel that for Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She shook her head slowly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut you feel that for someone else?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen you\u2019re right not to promise Joe anything. You have to explore these feelings. Finding love with the right person is important.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The tears spilled over. \u201cIt\u2019s hopeless, Mr. Cartwright. I\u2019m just a girl. I\u2019m just a silly, silly girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They skirmished almost every day now. Reb soldiers seemed to be hiding in every grove. Hoss had been waiting for orders to take his boys and find the war when it appeared that the war found them. Two of his men had been sniped at while eating breakfast just that morning, and Hoss was itching for the generals to come up with something better than sitting around like targets. He was ready to go to the newly promoted General Chamberlain about it when the orders came through. Troops from both sides were converging on a small place in Virginia called Cold Harbor. This was the first big engagement for Hoss and his boys since Gettysburg the summer before.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That old foreboding feeling rose in his gut, but he knew it did no good to entertain it. Walking into a big battle inspires butterflies in the most seasoned of warriors and there wasn\u2019t a dang thing that could be done about it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He owed a letter home, but struggled over it. Something told him his would be his last, and nothing he told himself could shake it. An emotional letter home would do nothing but worry his pa, but it rankled him more going into this battle without writing things he wanted his family to know. Finally, he was able to shape the words that best fit his feelings.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Pa and Adam and Joe,<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It\u2019s been near a year and a half since I left. I\u2019d tell you that the homesickness has left me if it were anywhere near the truth, but it isn\u2019t. I wasn\u2019t born to be a traveling man. My place is on the ranch with you fellers and there\u2019s nothing that\u2019s ever going to change that.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We\u2019re sitting at the eve of a big battle again. I didn\u2019t believe that anything would ever match Gettysburg, but here we are again, men stretching out as far as the eye can see. Something happens to men when they fight in numbers this large. It\u2019s like we forget that we were ever ranchers or farmers or any other kind of simple folk. A man only wants to shoot and kill in a battle like this. No one wants to meet eyes with the enemy. Nothing matters but the killing. It\u2019s only the color of the uniform that drives us. This life isn\u2019t for me.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Reports tell us that Johnny Reb is starting to weaken and I suspect that it\u2019s only a matter of time before this thing is over. We pretty much got all the marbles on this side of the line. We just have to wait them out. I just wish I knew how long it would all be.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This here part isn\u2019t easy to write. The battle tomorrow could go either way. We might be in the front or in the back. There\u2019s no way to know. It\u2019s the men with the brass on their coats that make those decisions. Whatever it is, we\u2019ll fight like men and do you all proud.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You all know how much family means to me. You know I always been proud to call myself a Cartwright. This has been a good life. If I don\u2019t make it back to camp tomorrow, I want you to know that there are no regrets. I lived good, and I had the best brothers and the best pa a man could have. <\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All my love,<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Breath stuck in Joe\u2019s throat. The last time he felt this much panic, a Paiute brave was pointing a lance at his chest. He looked around wildly, convinced that danger was near. Adam reined in Sport beside him. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe blinked at him. The desert expanse was empty save his brother and himself. \u201cI had a\u2026feeling. I felt something in my gut.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam knew his brother lived on instinct, and he knew that Joe\u2019s gut was usually not wrong. He turned Sport a few times, getting a chance to eyeball the landscape around them. \u201cI don\u2019t see anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stared ahead for a few moments, then turned to Adam. There was a look of tremendous sadness in his eyes. \u201cHoss ain\u2019t coming home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t say that, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI just have this feeling. I just feel it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cDon\u2019t do this. We only think good thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t help it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam grabbed his reins. \u201cListen to me! You miss him. I miss him. Being scared for him is natural, but you can\u2019t let it take over.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook the rein. \u201cYou hear me? Don\u2019t do this!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe closed his eyes and nodded. \u201cYou\u2019re right.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLook at me!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned to his older brother, looking at him tentatively.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re going to have faith in middle brother. Okay? We\u2019re going to have faith.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u201cSorry. I don\u2019t know what happened. I guess I\u2019m acting like an old woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t think about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe managed a grim smile and then spurred Cochise forward. Adam watched him warily. Like his father, he had no time for superstitions and such. Yet, he couldn\u2019t stop a feeling of unease growing in his gut as well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rodney\u2019s shoulder hurt tremendously. Sitting up seemed to take forever; he needed to stop every few seconds or he would have never stayed conscious. It was eerily silent in the meadow. Bodies littered the ground around him. It took him a moment to remember all that had happened. The battle had been fierce, even worse than at Gettysburg. There were so many men, both rebel and union, fighting in such a small meadow that it was hard to know who he hit when he pulled the trigger. The plan was to stay with his lieutenant, and protect him with his own life if need be. Hoss wasn\u2019t hard to keep track of; the man towered over men on both sides of the line. The big man didn\u2019t know how to keep his head down either. He was one of the first in the platoon to be shot. Bullet hit him square in the chest and he went down. It was the most amazing sight. Rodney hadn\u2019t believed it was possible for anything to down Hoss Cartwright. Rodney started making his way to Hoss\u2019 side when the force of a sledgehammer hit him in the shoulder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That was the last he remembered, and now he sat in a field littered with bodies; the air still heavy with smoke. Turning his body sent waves of pain through him, but he needed to look around, he needed to know.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His breath caught at the sight of a red-headed boy to his left. It was Cleary Hawkins. They had walked side by side for most of the trip across the plains. He didn\u2019t need to check if Cleary was breathing; his neck was almost completely severed from his body. Bile rose in his throat, and it took a minute to retch the fear out of his system. He continued scanning, looking particularly for his lieutenant. The man was only four years older, but Rodney thought of him like a father. His own pa had died when he was just a little boy. There was something about Hoss\u2019 guidance and tough love that left Rodney fiercely devoted to him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tears started running down his face when he spotted the big man laying face down in the grass. Hoss\u2019 eyes were closed and he looked surprisingly peaceful. Rodney cried out as he struggled to his feet, pain shooting through his entire body. It took him a moment to steady himself as lightheadedness took hold.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Behind him a gun cocked, and he closed his eyes waiting for the inevitable bullet to the back. Then a voice as thick as maple syrup spoke, \u201cListen up, boy. You\u2019re a prisoner of the Confederate states now. Put your hands up before I stick you with this bayonet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing was the one who called him out to the porch. Horses were approaching, but the dust made it impossible for him to see faces. For a moment, he and Hop Sing just stood and waited for recognition to emerge. He made out the color and shape of the Army uniform. He nodded slowly and turned to Hop Sing. \u201cThey\u2019ve ridden hard. They\u2019ll be hungry and thirsty.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing didn\u2019t move for a moment. He could sense something incredible was happening.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked at him sharply. \u201cGo, Hop Sing!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He felt calm as the riders slowed to a walk. He knew why they were here. It had haunted his dreams for so many nights; the reality of it seemed long in coming. He stood silently until they reached the yard. Recognizing General Peeler in their midst merely confirmed his fears.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Remembering himself, he stepped off the porch. \u201cWelcome to the Ponderosa, General.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The General nodded and slid off his horse. His men took his horse and theirs to the barn. \u201cMy wife and daughters have talked about your ranch all spring long. Augusta especially has spoken of her time here with great fondness.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben forced a smile. \u201cThey were a pleasure to host; beautiful, accomplished, refined. You have a wonderful family.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The General took off his gloves and looked around the yard. When he saw the barn door close behind his men, he turned back to Ben. \u201cI assume you\u2019ve deduced why I am here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood as still as a statue, waiting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGeneral Chamberlain wired me with the details. I thought it best if I not hand it over to someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A buzzing started behind Ben\u2019s ears, and it became hard to hear or understand the general.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMight we go inside, Mr. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It took a moment for it to register, but finally Ben nodded and led him into the house. The general walked past him in the living room upon seeing the brandy and poured two of them. Without a word, he pressed one into Ben\u2019s hands. \u201cThe papers out here aren\u2019t carrying much about Cold Harbor. It was a battle about ten days ago. Bloody, mismanaged mess. 5,000 Union troops downed in the first ten minutes. The papers spent all spring predicting that the war would be over by July, and then Cold Harbor happens, and destroys what little confidence we had.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared at the amber liquid in his glass.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe continued incompetence of our armies is excruciating. Grant will win this war, but he will do it in the most inelegant way possible.\u201d General Peeler shook his head and sighed deeply. \u201cYour son\u2019s platoon didn\u2019t go in that wave. They went in later. They had an objective, and your son was determined to meet it. Unfortunately, other platoons didn\u2019t show the same commitment.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s throat was dry, but it never occurred to him to bring the brandy to his lips. The voice of the general was a monotone buzz in the background.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey took the hill before it became apparent that the flanking platoons had fallen back. Rebs surrounded them. Only four of the Virginia City boys made it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked up \u201cOnly four? Are you telling me that only four Virginia City boys survived?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t know. We never retook that hill. Some may be prisoners of war. A witness saw your son fall, but no one knows the extent of his injuries.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe might be alive?\u201d Ben could barely bring sound to his words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Peeler shook his head. \u201cThere is no way to know that. You should be aware, however, that being in a confederate prison camp is not that much different than dying on the battlefield. The stories that come out of Andersonville are horrifying. Thousands of men are kept behind a barbed wire fence with little food and water. There is no medical attention. Anyone trying to escape is summarily executed. A wounded man wouldn\u2019t stand much of a chance there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben put down his brandy. \u201cI\u2019ve heard that people have been able to successfully ransom soldiers from that camp.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t recommend it. You can\u2019t go yourself. You\u2019d have to find an agent; someone you can trust. Then you have to find a way to get them out of Georgia. Most folks who try it lose their money and get no thanks for it. I don\u2019t really know of many soldier ransoms that worked out. I\u2019m sorry, but I don\u2019t hold out much hope that your son would even be there. It\u2019s a forced march of more than 200 miles from Cold Harbor.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood. \u201cThank you, General. I appreciate your advice, and I am honored that you would take the time to come and speak with me personally.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A few minutes later, Ben was alone in his home again. It was a large home, big enough to hold parties for half of Virginia City, but there wasn\u2019t an inch of it that didn\u2019t feel crowded with memories of his middle son. It had been lonely this last year without the big, cheerful man, and the idea that he was never coming home was more than he could bear. Emotion gripped him, but a man like Ben Cartwright would never wallow in his grief. Action always won over. He grabbed his hat and marched out the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben waited for three days at the third way station for both sons to show up for their weekly meeting. Telling them about Hoss was more wrenching than he had imagined. Joe sat quietly at first until he heard the part where Hoss had fallen in battle. Like a shot he was on his feet and running toward Cochise. Ben\u2019s impulse was to follow, but Joe was 20 years old now, and deserved a chance to grieve as he saw fit. It was days before Joe returned to the way station, and by the time he did, both his father and brother had left.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was more stoic as was his nature. However, holding in emotion is exhausting, and long before Joe returned, Adam was showing the signs of emotional fatigue. Ben could see the changes settling in his face. Adam kept his father at arms length, which is why it was a surprise on the second evening when Adam approached him as Ben sat at the dying embers of an evening fire. \u201cPa, I\u2019m not going to wait for Joe. I need to get to Denver. I should have left this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you need some time, a couple of days at least, to get past the shock.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben reached out to touch him. \u201cSon, it will eat away at you if you don\u2019t let it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam pulled away. \u201cPa, I need to work. This hole in my gut isn\u2019t going to do any healing until the war is over. We don\u2019t have the luxury.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath. \u201cI\u2019ve taken steps to find the men from Virginia City in Andersonville. I\u2019ve written to the de Marginy\u2019s in New Orleans. Joe\u2019s family has quite a bit of influence. I think they can help me set this up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat down slowly. \u201cI don\u2019t understand, Pa. I thought you made it clear that Hoss wasn\u2019t there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI have to do something. Even if he isn\u2019t, I have the power to save the others. Can you imagine what that would mean to the families they left behind?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam snorted. \u201cSo Joe runs away, I bottle my emotions, and you have to save the world. I think Hoss was the only one of us who ever knew how to grieve like a normal person.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if, Adam? What if?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll lose your money, Pa. There\u2019s no way you\u2019re going to make it to Georgia. You\u2019re going to have to hand that money over to someone, and you\u2019ll never see it again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think I care about the money?\u201d His voice was sharper than he intended.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a fool\u2019s errand, Pa.\u201d Adam stared at his father from across of what was left of the glowing embers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI have to take a chance, and I think Joe\u2019s family will help me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you going to tell him about this?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cI guess I still want to protect him. I don\u2019t want him to grow hope for something that will surely disappoint.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI agree.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTell him I\u2019m going to be gone on business. Tell him\u2026.I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t know anything right now, Adam. I have to keep trying to do what can be done. It\u2019s who I am, it\u2019s what I do. I don\u2019t know much about giving up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat at the top of the bluff his knees drawn up to his chin. The desert cooled considerably at night, but he paid no attention to the shivering that racked his body. He stared at the full moon and prayed that he was a different man. He needed to be a man who didn\u2019t suffer so terribly at the loss of a brother. He needed to be a man who could control his feelings, tucking them away when it got too hard to breathe. Being a man of emotion was worse than being a girl with pigtails.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe prayed that night that he be given the gift of apathy. He wanted to care about nothing and no one. He wanted to banish all memory of the giant, sweet man with the big heart. Then he could function and walk among men with his head high. Right now, he couldn\u2019t even take a deep breath without catching a sob.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He wrapped his arms more tightly across his knees, and squeezed his eyes shut. The wind whipped through him, but he didn\u2019t move. He was going to sit like this all night and survive it. From now on, he was going to reject all parts of himself that showed any signs of weakness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam left General Peeler\u2019s office and leaned against the adobe wall outside. He had ridden hard the last three days. Working was the only antidote to his pain, and he was pushing himself more than he ever had.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He pushed away from the wall and started for his horse when a familiar voice sounded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A twinge of annoyance grew in him. There was no room in his life for playing games with young girls especially girls who left him discombobulated. It was only propriety that made him turn and greet her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta smiled softly. \u201cI didn\u2019t know you were in Denver.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He tipped his hat. \u201cOnly for the day, really. I have to get back to the drive.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou look tired.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He shrugged. \u201cIt isn\u2019t easy work, Augusta.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you\u2019re hungry.\u201d She patted a basket on the ground beside her. \u201cI brought lunch for father, but his lieutenant says he ate in the mess.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI really don\u2019t have time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNonsense! You look like the very devil. I have chicken and green beans and Mother\u2019s chocolate cake. You probably haven\u2019t had a decent meal in weeks.\u201d She pointed to a tree in a nearby field. \u201cWe\u2019ll set up over there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Without another word, she marched in that direction. Adam had no energy to fight with her so he merely followed. She was right about the food. He hadn\u2019t had much beside hardtack in him since Pa gave him the news. Obediently, he sat across from her while she busied herself with the lunch. In minutes, he had a plate full of chicken and beans in front of him, and another one with a thick slice of cake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He set to eating, and had to remind himself to breath between bites. She watched him with her hands set primly in her lap. Adam noticed that Augusta looked nothing like the party girl he remembered from the previous winter. She wore a plain white blouse and a dull navy blue skirt. Her curls were tied back in a simple knot, and her complexion had lost some of its peaches and cream glow. He could feel her eyes on him, and the idea that she could expect anything from him made him angry.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She worried her mouth for a few moments and then spoke, \u201cI heard about your brother, Hoss. I\u2019m so very sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam couldn\u2019t meet her eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI had so looked forward to meeting him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The twinge of annoyance grew. \u201cAugusta, how are the parties in Denver this season?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She looked away. \u201cThere aren\u2019t parties in Denver right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat a pity. However will you pass the time?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her face flushed pink down to her neck. \u201cWell, you know us silly girls; we manage to find a way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI bet you do.\u201d He immediately regretted it. She had done nothing to deserve his vitriol.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She slowly began gathering up dishes. \u201cThere\u2019s fever in town. Doc thinks it might be yellow fever. Parties are forbidden until the contagion passes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shame enveloped him. \u201cI didn\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She pushed stray curls off her face. \u201cThere\u2019s no way you would. It\u2019s contained mostly.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou shouldn\u2019t be out. You need to go home and stay inside.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A soldier approached and Augusta looked up at him. \u201cAre you ready to go?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes Ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She gathered up her skirts and stood up. \u201cI wish we had met under better circumstances, Adam. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Sergeant, could you please carry my baskets to the wagon?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She nodded at Adam, and then strode toward a waiting buckboard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam watched her for a moment. Then he eyed the sergeant. \u201cMake sure she goes straight home. She should know better than to leave the house in the midst of an epidemic.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sergeant grunted. \u201cShe ain\u2019t going home, Fella\u2019. She\u2019s going off to the hospital. She\u2019s been there ever\u2019 day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam got to his feet. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe been nursing soldiers since this thing started. The general is beside himself, but that girl has more will than a regiment. She hasn\u2019t been home in two weeks. I brought this here food basket for her, not the general. She\u2019s been working herself day and night. Got her mother worried half crazy. She don\u2019t act like any refined lady I ever knowed.\u201d The soldier threw the basket up on his shoulder and followed Augusta.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

St. Louis, Missouri was beautiful. Ben hadn\u2019t seen it in twenty years, but there was a refinement about the paved roads and sculptured homes defined beauty for him. However, no amount of refinement could match the majesty of the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Henry de Marginy wrote that there would be an agent waiting for him in St. Louis, but Ben didn\u2019t seek out the man right away. Ben had no intention of allowing a stranger to transact such crucial business without him. He was going to make sure the agent had no choice but to take him along to Andersonville. Paper currency was going to do him no good for money in the South, and he imagined that folks were desperate enough to rob a man carrying large amounts of gold. He\u2019d hatched a scheme on the ride to St. Louis, and once there, he immediately made his way to a wholesale gem dealer. An hour later, he had $50,000 worth of emeralds in his pocket. It would probably take him all night, but Ben planned to sew each one of those gems inside the lining of his leather vest. Next he went to the bank and drew out $10,000 in gold bars. This was about as heavy a load as he could carry, and he figured that the agent and whoever else was up to no good could keep themselves focused on those gold bars.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He checked into the Mississippi Hotel, and waited. It was only three days before the agent found him. His name was Remy Bordeaux and he looked to Ben like a dandy dressed in fancy duds, a handlebar mustache with tips as tight as a needle. His accent was deep, and Ben strained to understand his inflections. Ben had expected a fight but the agent seemed to expect Ben to accompany him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux pulled out a thick cigar at the end of dinner. \u201cAh was told by ol\u2019 Henry that you\u2019d want to come no matter what. Ah figure we get the train tomorra\u2019. Should be in Georgia in a coupla\u2019 weeks. Betta\u2019 let me do the talkin\u2019, Sir. Ya\u2019 sound like a cowboy and that\u2019s going to stand out where we\u2019re going.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cJust get me to Andersonville. You do that, and help me get these men out of there safely, and there will be healthy compensation for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux grinned out of one end of his wide mouth. \u201cAh don\u2019t need ya\u2019 money, Sir. De Marginy paid me well. Ah\u2019m doing this as a favor to him and because we\u2019re desperate for money at Andersonville.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben frowned. \u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re not all bad, Mistah Cartwright. Boys are starvin\u2019 in that place \u2018cause we don\u2019t have the resources to keep them alive. Your money is gonna\u2019 buy us a shipload of supplies for those boys. There\u2019s no honor in lettin\u2019 soldiers suffa\u2019 like that, even if they are Yankees.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou get me there and Andersonville will have money for two shiploads of supplies.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux tipped his hat, a toothy smile growing on his face. \u201cAh think we\u2019re gonna\u2019 get along like a house afire, Mistah Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had been riding hard for the fifth way station for two full days. Adam hadn\u2019t met him at the third way station, and when Joe hit the fourth way station to check on him, they hadn\u2019t seen him later. He stopped short about half a mile before he got to the fifth. He could see it down in the valley ahead, but it looked a lot quieter than it should. The station should have had at least a dozen cowboys and a couple of hundred cattle, but he couldn\u2019t spot a soul. He approached at an angle keeping an eye on all directions. There wasn\u2019t much Indian activity in the area, but folks had been surprised before by an attack.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All of a sudden, a figure popped up from behind a large boulder and waved a gun at him. Joe squinted, and made out the features of one Lefty Farrell, a longtime Ponderosa hand. Joe dug his heels into Cochise and burst forward. Lefty stopped him about fifty yards from camp. \u201cHey Joe! I am sure am happy to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s going on, Lefty? It looks like you all packed up and left. Where\u2019s Adam?\u201d Joe slid off Cochise.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Left shook his head. \u201cMan, am I glad you\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEnough already, Lefty. What gives?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI figured the riders I sent to way station four would have caught you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head angrily. \u201cI was in a hurry. I rode through the gulch. Haven\u2019t run into anyone in two days. Now you better tell me what\u2019s going on before I decide I gotta\u2019 beat outa\u2019 ya\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lefty backed up a step. \u201cAlright, Joe. I hear ya\u2019. Adam\u2019s here but he\u2019s sick.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe came in two days ago, feeling poorly. Said Denver\u2019s got yellow fever. He went to sleep and the next morning he couldn\u2019t get up. I cleared out the supply tent and moved him in, but I couldn\u2019t risk all the fellers in camp so I sent the herd on to Denver with enough supplies so they could camp outside the city for a week or two until it was safe. I sent a couple of fellers to backtrack to see if they could find you, but it looks they didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pulled off his vest and headed for a basin of water. \u201cHow is he, Lefty?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe ain\u2019t good, that\u2019s for sure. I get water and food to the tent opening, but I ain\u2019t gone in. I ain\u2019t had this fever and don\u2019t figure on dying from it either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s been in there all by himself?\u201d Joe shook the water out of his hair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I know you ain\u2019t seeing clearly right now. I done what I could and I\u2019m staying close, but I ain\u2019t trying to get sick. I tole the boys going to Denver to bring back a doc. Should be here in a couple of days.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe just shook his head and ran toward the tent. He crawled in, and was immediately hit by the heat and smell of sickness. \u201cAdam, wake up. Adam, it\u2019s me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His brother lay silently in a corner of the tent soaked in sweat. His breath was shallow and fast, but Joe was just happy to see it. He immediately set about getting the wet, hot clothes off his brother. Then he opened up the flap. \u201cLefty! Lefty! Get some fresh water. I want it cold from the creek. I need some towels and a fresh blanket. And get some broth!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt the wind coming in gently from the west, and so he ran to that side of the tent and pulled the canvas down. Adam needed fresh air and attention. Joe took the basin of water and towels from Lefty and climbed back in beside his brother. \u201cI\u2019m here, Adam. I\u2019m going to cool you off so you can rest better. Figure your body just really needed this rest so you got no choice now.\u201d Joe started sponging cool water on Adam\u2019s forehead. Then he took another towel, wet it, and laid across Adam\u2019s bare chest. \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Brother. You just needed to rest. You can do that all you want, you hear? You rest, and then when you\u2019re feeling better, I\u2019m going to need you wake up. You understand, Adam? I\u2019m short a brother right now, and uh\u2026I can\u2019t spare you. You hear me? Losing Hoss\u2026I can\u2019t do it, Adam. I can\u2019t do it. I can\u2019t face Pa without you. I can\u2019t face anything\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe rubbed angrily at the tears falling down his cheeks. He had promised himself that he was going to be a different man, but he was being to realize that being a different man required a different heart than the one he had. He crawled out to pull in the broth that Lefty brought. He folded a towel under Adam\u2019s head, and coaxed a spoon to his mouth. Most of it dribbled out. \u201cThat\u2019s okay, Brother. I reckon Lefty\u2019s broth ain\u2019t the best, but I\u2019m going to keep trying. Good or not, you need some food inside you. We\u2019ll just take it slow, you and I. We have all day and tomorrow. Hell, Big Brother, we have as many days as it takes to get you on your feet again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe slept little naps that invariably ended in nightmares. Closing his eyes gave way to images of him alone, calling for family and finding none. Sometimes graves loomed in the distance or Hoss appeared in the distance but couldn\u2019t hear him, and as he ran toward him, his big brother would disappear again. Once Adam joined Hoss on the horizon and they both started walking away. Joe woke up screaming after that one. Adam still lay unconscious, fevered and breathing hard. Joe kept Lefty busy getting cold water and keeping food nearby. Any anger Joe harbored toward Lefty dissipated as the hand kept a constant vigil on the hill beside the tent; always ready to get whatever Joe needed. Joe hadn\u2019t left the tent in the two days since he\u2019d crawled in. When he wasn\u2019t sleeping or cooling Adam, he was talking to him. He kept up a steady chatter of whatever was on his mind, hoping that Adam would sense his presence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The morning of the third day, Lefty came close to the tarp. \u201cJoe, wake up. Riders are coming from Denver direction. Maybe it\u2019s a doc for Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe rubbed his red eyes furiously and stumbled out of the tent. He was dressed in nothing but his britches as the tent was too steamy for clothing. He narrowed his eyes at the cloud coming toward them. As they neared, he picked out three riders, noting that one of them sat funny on the horse. It took a couple of minutes to realize that the third rider was a female. Startled, he turned to find a pair of pants, and found Lefty standing there with a clean pair. He pulled them on just in time as the horses trotted into camp.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One was a hand, one was army, and one was Miss Augusta Peeler. She slid off her horse and rushed at him. He pushed her away. \u201cAggie, this is not the time. You shouldn\u2019t be here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here to help.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s sick. He needs a doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The soldier stepped forward. \u201cI\u2019m Lieutenant Banks. There is no doctor who could come. There are too many sick men at the fort. Miss Peeler insisted on coming. I\u2019m her escort.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stepped around Augusta. \u201cLieutenant, he\u2019s dying. He needs a doctor. He needs medicine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Peeler has spent the last month caring for the sick of this epidemic. She brought whatever is needed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned to Augusta, but she was gone. He ran toward the tent. \u201cAggie, you shouldn\u2019t go in there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She poked her head out of the tarp. \u201cI need the black bag, Lieutenant.\u201d She turned to look at Joe. \u201cI\u2019ve been with yellow fever for the last month. If I haven\u2019t gotten it yet, I\u2019m not going to. Now, it looks to me like you could use a decent meal, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAggie!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know what I\u2019m doing!\u201d Her merry blue eyes snapped a ferocity he never imagined in her. \u201cAlready, I can see he\u2019s going to need more wet towels. Cowboy! You there!\u201d She gestured at Lefty. \u201cI got a dried broth in my saddlebags. It\u2019s a special mixture. Heat that up for me.\u201d Then she disappeared into the tent again. The four men outside stood silently for a moment. Lefty scratched at his ear. \u201cI ain\u2019t ever met a she-devil who didn\u2019t look like she spent her formative years in a mining camp. That little girl looks like a duchess and talks like a trail boss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The lieutenant gave him a look. \u201cShe\u2019s a Peeler. Sounds more like her father every single day. Life rides real smooth around her just as long as you do what she says. That\u2019s my advice to you boys. Figure she\u2019s going to be looking for that broth in about ten minutes. You want to be the one to tell her it\u2019s not ready?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lefty blinked and jumped to her saddlebags, rooting until he found the broth. He headed toward the fire at a near run. Joe dropped to his haunches, taking a moment to process the last ten minutes. It wasn\u2019t what he expected, but he was going to take whatever help he could get.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared silently out the window of the Pullman car. He and Bordeaux had been traveling for five days. They were now moving through the beautiful green hills of Eastern Tennessee. August in the South was an experience for which he was not prepared. He sat with his heavy vest carefully folded in his lap. He kept the window open, but the only relief was a window as hot as a blacksmith\u2019s bellows. The car was deadly silent most of the time. Most of the passengers were women, but they looked worn. The war wore heavy everywhere he looked. Two of the stations they passed through were burned clear to the ground. The few times he sighted Confederate soldiers, they were wounded men, thin and pale; sent home because of their infirmities. The papers were full of fire about General William Tecumseh Sherman and his men who had begun a bloody march straight into the heart of Dixie. Different than other armies, Sherman was burning civilian targets as well as military. He was being lauded as the devil incarnate. Ben himself couldn\u2019t condone Sherman\u2019s methods, but he was beginning to think that only something truly drastic would end this war.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux spoke little, and Ben grew curious about the man. He wore a stunning black hat with a silver band, and he seldom seemed to sleep. He forever sat against the back of the seat with his eyes half closed, only changing expression if a lady passed. Then he tipped his hat, and murmured a greeting as sweet and slow as molasses. He seemed to have the patience of Job, never exhibiting one sign of restlessness. On the fifth night, Ben waited until all the ladies had gone to their sleeping berths. Then he leaned over to Bordeaux. \u201cI\u2019m curious. What brings you into this business?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The slow dark eyes turned toward him. \u201cAh told you, Mistah Cartwright. Henry de Marginy is a friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that\u2019s it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux let out a sigh. \u201cThe war has shut down my business enterprise and ah was at loose ends. Ah had the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat business were you in?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cImport.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe Union blockade. You weren\u2019t able to bring in cargo.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cExactly, Mistah Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you import?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux stared him straight in the eye. \u201cSlaves, Mistah Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A shudder of revulsion ran through Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux saw this and smiled. \u201cAh\u2019m the very devil himself, aren\u2019t ah?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes flashed. \u201cYour trade is gone forever, Mr. Bordeaux.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He shrugged. \u201cAh imagine it is. Ah don\u2019t feel much good or bad about it, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re human beings, just like you or me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux nodded. \u201cDid it too long not to know that. It was a business, one my family had been in for four generations. History tells us there are always people who get used by those in power. Ah wasn\u2019t doing anything that was illegal.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo you justify it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, ah\u2019m mostly glad it\u2019s ovah. Ah man can only tell himself so many lies. Ah\u2019m a poor man now, but ah\u2019m less heavy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou felt guilty?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAh guess ah didn\u2019t know it \u2018til it was gone.\u201d Bordeaux rolled his tongue into his cheek. \u201cGonna\u2019 jump out the window now? Figure a fine, upstanding man like you wouldn\u2019t want to sit next to the likes of me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust get me to Andersonville, Mr. Bordeaux. I\u2019m not the one you\u2019ll have to answer to when it\u2019s all said and done.\u201d Ben turned away from him, and settled against the windowpane. He closed his eyes to the gentle rolling of the moving train.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her hair was plastered to her scalp, and her blouse had long since absorbed the yellow dust of the desert. If it hadn\u2019t been so entirely impossible, she would have torn off her heavy skirts, and escaped the lightheadedness she constantly felt in the hot tent. Joe and Lefty had pulled off more tarp, but relief relied on wind, and the air was as still as a cemetery.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta forced herself to ignore everything but the man in front of her. Adam\u2019s fever had lasted five days, and it worried her a great deal. Some of the yellow fever survivors had woken up in Denver different people than they had been before they\u2019d fallen sick. There was memory loss in some and others remained in a half conscious state, eyes open, blinking but unresponsive. The doctors called this brain damage, saying it happened when fever cooked the brain. Augusta didn\u2019t understand the physiology of it, but the thought of it chilled her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat at the edge of the tent looking in anxiously over her shoulder until she told him sharply that he was blocking what little cool air was available. After that, he sat about ten yards away, watching silently. Sometimes she traded spaces with him, knowing that he needed the proximity to his brother. Then she would wage a losing battle with the dust and grime that remained on her no matter how many times she washed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After the first day, Joe seemed to understand Augusta\u2019s competence, and he would stay with his brother long enough to calm his fears and then vacate the tent again so she could return. They spoke barely a word between them. Words were dangerous when emotion filled the body so.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta kept Adam cool, and fed him the strong, medicinal broth she brought with her. She rolled him from side to side every once in a while so that his muscles didn\u2019t cramp as she\u2019d been taught in the hospital. And she talked to him. Like Joe, she understood how important it was to keep a presence known around the sick man. Unlike Joe, she believed somewhere deep inside that Adam might get lost in himself if she didn\u2019t keep a voice showing him the way out; she worried that he would end up like people who woke up but no longer felt the world around them. She generally whispered when she knew Joe was close, but let her voice grow when Joe was sleeping. She tried to sing once but remembered that Adam was a gifted singer and worried that her own tortured melodies would send him off away from her, instead of moving toward her. It was another thing that Joan was good at that she wasn\u2019t: Joan with the straight, golden hair and the iconic beauty. Joan was all grace and elegance and talent while Augusta saw herself as merely quirky and stubborn — cute and sweet, but never a beauty.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t bother her as much anymore. She had found a niche outside her ornately lacquered world. She found that her fierce energy and spirit were well-used in the current crisis. She had the strength to withstand twice the stress other women could. It was exhilarating; every day a discovery of ability she never knew she had. Her family was too burdened currently to effectively contain her, but when this was over, she suspected that they would pull her back in so forcefully that it would be a struggle to catch a breath. Hurried proposals from eligible suitors and steady pressure to accept one were sure to follow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Just as she knew her family would seek to control her, she knew that she was going to die a spinster. There wasn\u2019t a man in Denver for her. There wasn\u2019t a man in the whole world other than the one in the tent next to her, teetering on the precipice between life and death. She would nurse him with all the love in her heart. She would make him well, and then she would see him look at her with those intelligent eyes and know that he was only seeing a silly girl, a child, someone not worth his considerable charm and affections. She knew that when that disappointment occurred, her work was done, and she could return to Denver and let her panicked family take over her life again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stirred again, and she crawled up to his face. He was having moments like this now when it appeared he was struggling for consciousness. It was a good sign, and Augusta was determined to help him through the haze. \u201cAdam. Adam, do you hear me? It\u2019s Augusta here. Can you believe it? How did a simple girl like me end up out here doling out broth to ailing cowboys? You must be hard up if I\u2019m the best they could send.\u201d She reached for a wet towel and wrung it out in the basin. \u201cDo me a favor, Adam. Open your eyes for me and give me one of those famous smirks. You know the one; the smirk you use to show that you\u2019re miles ahead of anyone else in the room. I\u2019ve seen it. It\u2019s devastating. My sister, Joan, has her own version, but hers is a bit haughty for me. I much prefer yours.\u201d She patted the towel around his face soaking it into his raven hair. \u201cCome on, Adam. You can\u2019t let silly little Augusta have the last word here. I would never let you live it down if you did. You hear me, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On the morning of the sixth day, Joe awoke with the sun. His muscles were stiff, and he stretched them long and hard. His mind immediately went to the tent, and he got to his feet. He crouched down at the open west face, and looked in. Adam\u2019s breathing had slowed which was remarkable in and of itself, but Joe could focus on nothing but the young woman curled up on his brother\u2019s chest. Joe had to bite his lip to keep from guffawing a reaction. It was entirely improper for a lady to be found in such a position, and while Joe was willing to give some room for circumstances, there was something about it that left him speechless.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, why is there a woman on top of me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe whipped his head around and found Adam looking up at him solemnly. \u201cAdam!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta stirred, but her exhaustion was just too deep. She squeezed her patient tightly around his middle, buried her face into his chest further, and then her breathing settled into sleep again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is going on?\u201d Adam wore a look of immense confusion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was too excited to respond to the scandal unfolding in front of him. \u201cI knew you could do it, Adam. You old goat! Had me scared, you did. What a thing to do! I should really let you have it for putting me through all this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s the woman on top of me?\u201d Adam hissed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAugusta Peeler, of course. Who else would it be?\u201d Joe smiled brightly, waking up muscles he hadn\u2019t used in almost two years.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGod in heaven! What did you do? Is she drunk? Did you hit her over the head, Joe?\u201d Adam was too weak to do much other than complain, but his distress was beginning to register for Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe came to nurse you. Been up for two days and nights. She\u2019s just exhausted, is all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGet her off me!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This registered for all of them including the twenty year-old woman asleep on his chest. Startled, she sat up, her eyes blinking wildly. Then she looked down at Adam and saw him looking back at her. \u201cOh my God!\u201d She realized how he found her, and her hands flew to her hair and clothing, patting and fixing hair and buttons.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI found you sleeping right on top of him. Must have been real tired, Augusta.\u201d Joe announced; a smile plastered on his face. Apparently, he thought that the discomfort of the situation needed a bit of heightening.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta\u2019s sweet young face reddened deeply. For a moment, she couldn\u2019t look at either of them. Then she raised her head to Adam. Avoiding his eyes, she reached over and felt his forehead. \u201cFever\u2019s broke, Adam. Are you feeling okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He nodded simply.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She kneaded the glands under his chin softly. \u201cI think you\u2019re going to be fine. You seem alert. We\u2019ll get some solid food in you today, but no moving from this tent for at least another day\u2026\u201d Her voice caught and tears sprung to her eyes. Unable to hold herself any longer, she got to her feet and brushed past Joe, trotting up and behind the hill.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned to look at Joe, eyes narrowed. \u201cYou\u2019re an idiot!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded, still grinning madly. \u201cI am, Big Brother. I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGo apologize to her!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re the one who ordered her off you. I would have let her stay myself.\u201d Joe refused to be distracted from the joy he was feeling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe hurt her feelings, Joe!\u201d Adam\u2019s distress seemed only to grow with each passing minute.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know, I know. I\u2019ll go talk to her. I\u2019m just so glad to see you awake, Brother. Don\u2019t know why. Guess it\u2019s because you really let the work pile up. I\u2019m just so\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGo!\u201d Adam thundered with as much force as he had at his disposal.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe scrambled to his feet and went.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Later, Adam woke again. The sun outside was hugging the horizon. For the first time in a week, he felt like a human being again. The fever was gone and the cramping. He rolled, and leaned up on an elbow. Dizziness hit him, but he hung on and it passed. He pulled back the tarp and looked out. Lefty was starting dinner; he could smell the spices Lefty threw into the beans.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe and the lieutenant were on the hill looking off into the distance. Adam heard rustling and turned to see Augusta sitting next to the tent, brushing dust off her skirts. He smiled at her efforts. \u201cAugusta.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She jumped at the sound of his voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He chuckled. \u201cSorry to surprise you, but you have to admit you deserve it. You gave me quite a surprise this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, have a heart!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou were tired, and admittedly, I make a pretty good pillow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She shook her head. \u201cIt was silly. I\u2019m so silly.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam reached out an arm and grabbed her hand. \u201cDo I do that to you? Do I make you feel like you\u2019re just a girl?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She bit her lower lip.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t mean to, Augusta. You\u2019re a damn fine woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She tried to pull away, but he held tight.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAugusta, I don\u2019t know another woman who would have come all the way out here to take care of me. It was very brave of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her cheeks colored. \u201cI\u2026uh, the doctor couldn\u2019t leave. I had no\u2026other choice.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He laughed. \u201cWell, that doesn\u2019t do much for my ego.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI mean\u2026I\u2026uh, I don\u2019t know, Adam. It made sense. You needed help, and I have the\u2026strength to do this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam tried to sit up, but the exertion was too much, and with a groan he slumped back onto the ground.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh for goodness sakes, Adam. A day ago, you weren\u2019t even conscious, and now you want to go dancing about the prairie.\u201d She reached over for a fresh blanket to put over him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He suffered her attentions with good humor. \u201cAugusta, I need to apologize to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be silly. I\u2019m the one who startled you this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d he caught her arm again. \u201cI need to apologize for my appalling behavior back in Denver.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou were tired, probably already sick. I asked you about Hoss. I shouldn\u2019t have pressed you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s nice of you to make excuses for me, but the truth was you\u2019re weren\u2019t being anything but kind. I was boorish.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s in the past, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He regarded her carefully. Despite the thin layer of dust that existed on every inch of her skin, she looked as beautiful as he\u2019d ever seen her. Her eyes stood out against the gray of the landscape, the only bright color to survive the harsh conditions. She looked proud, fierce even. He realized that she wasn\u2019t a girl to him anymore. She was a bright woman who could discuss natural history with him, and match his every remark with an equal witticism. She was brave, as brave as any man he knew. And the breathlessness he felt upon every encounter with her suddenly fell into place, and he knew what was happening. It both excited and frightened him and he looked away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you okay?\u201d She leaned into the tent to look him over.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He had to physically resist the urge to pull her in, and tell her all of his new discoveries. She looked into his face for a moment, and backed out. He was not looking at her in the way she expected. \u201cAh, Adam, I\u2019m going to go check on those beans.\u201d She trotted off toward Lefty.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam wasn\u2019t the only one making discoveries. Joe had finished his conversation with Lieutenant Banks, and started back toward camp. He saw Adam talking with Augusta. And when he got closer, he saw his brother reach for her with his hand, but it wasn\u2019t this that caught his attention. It was look in Adam\u2019s eyes. He\u2019d watched his brother his whole life. It was natural. Adam was good at absolutely everything, and Joe learned a great deal from him. But the thing that Adam didn\u2019t teach to Joe was about feelings. His older brother kept all of that close to his vest. Guessing his brother\u2019s moods had long been a challenge. Today was a different story. Closed, reticent Adam was sharing everything with his body language. His eyes almost sparkled with affection for the girl.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe tried to put the image out of his mind, but it came to him again and again as he stared into the evening fire. He didn\u2019t feel a sense of betrayal; he had no doubt that these feelings were new. He also knew that men rarely chose whom they loved. When it happened, it often knocked them half-blind. Joe figured Adam was just the same as any other man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seeing Adam with Augusta left Joe feeling strangely alone rather than betrayed. If Adam could find happiness with Augusta, Joe had no intention of standing in the way. It somehow brought him to thinking of Hoss again. He missed having that big man watching after him, caring for him; it was impossible to feel lonely with big brother Hoss around.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe threw the rest of his coffee into the fire. He needed sleep because first thing in the morning, he was going back to running the drive. Adam could stay and recover. They needed space away from him so they could decide what it was that was happening between them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben could smell the camp from a mile away. The stench grew with proximity, and as they neared, he noticed that guards had taken to wearing handkerchiefs around their faces. It was clear that the camp was overcrowded; faces pressed along the wire fence. In Ben, a thousand emotions churned from revulsion to anger to a twinge of hope he\u2019d been unable to suppress. Beside him, Bordeaux was expressionless. The man had taken him across the entire South, and while Ben knew he should be only reviled by the man, there was an odd sense of honor about him. He suspected that Bordeaux truly sensed the evil of his past actions. He got the sense that Bordeaux was trying on this role as a means of testing the possibility of redeeming his soul. Ben found that he worried less that this man was after his money. It was more likely Bordeaux was seeking evidence of his own soul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At the front gate, Ben let Bordeaux do all the talking. There was a guard house inside, and the two men were escorted in. The guard explained that it would be impossible for them to wander among the prisoners as there were roving gangs and the real possibility that hungry, desperate prisoners would mob them. Ben gave the guard a list and the man disappeared. Bordeaux gestured for Ben to sit at the simple pine table, but Ben was unable to relax. The guard house was hot, and the only window open on the gate. Ben paced nervously for what seemed like hours. Finally the door opened, and the guard ushered in a thin boy. Ben stopped and stared at him. For a moment, there was no recognition; then he advanced on him. \u201cRodney? Is that you, Rodney?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boy scrunched up his face and began to bawl. It was an unlikely response, but Ben understood it entirely. He enveloped the boy in his arms and let him sob into his shirt. It was several minutes before the boy was able to compose himself, but Ben was in no hurry. He knew Rodney wouldn\u2019t have been the first Virginia City they found if his boy was alive, and the truth of it was going to tear into his heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rodney pulled away and scrubbed at his face. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Mr. Cartwright. I\u2019m real sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben grasped him by the shoulders. \u201cRodney, tell me how many of our boys are still with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s twelve of us, Sir. Only twelve.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben rubbed at his forehead, struggling to maintain his composure. He knew the answer to the next question, but it needed asking. \u201cWhat about Hoss, Rodney? What happened to Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boy couldn\u2019t look at him for a moment, and it was clear he was fighting his emotions. \u201cHe fell at Cold Harbor, Sir. I tried to get to him, but he fell. I\u2019m so sorry. I should\u2019ve\u2026he was my lieutenant\u2026I should\u2019ve\u2026I wanted to get to him, but I was hit\u2026just a graze, but I couldn\u2019t reach him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben pulled the boy in again as he sobbed as much for his own comfort as for Rodney\u2019s. Still holding the emaciated boy, he looked up at Bordeaux, \u201cHow much for my boys?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe commander wants $500 a head. I\u2019m sure we could bargain down\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head furiously. \u201cNo, pay him what he wants. I have the money.\u201d He took off his vest and began ripping at the lining. Green emeralds spilled onto the table. For a moment, all the men did nothing but stare. Ben scooped up 6 of the gems and gave them to Bordeaux. \u201cEach is appraised at $1500. Give him all six. It\u2019s more than owed, but he\u2019ll feel satisfied of their worth. I just want these boys out of here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux took them, and followed the guard out the door. Ben turned to the boy. \u201cI need you to gather all of them up right away. I want all of us out of here within an hour. Understood?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boy nodded and bolted out the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sagged against the table. His son was truly gone, and the truth of it sucked the energy out of his body. He squeezed his eyes against the tears, and prayed for the strength to get these boys home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She found him seated at the window, and the surprise of it almost caused the tray in her arms to go crashing to the ground. \u201cLieutenant?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The large face turned toward her, blue eyes puzzled. \u201cMa\u2019am, I still don\u2019t quite get the order of it all. I need you to go through it with me one more time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She put the tray on a table and rushed over to him. \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t be up. You woke just a couple of days ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He let her lead him back to the bed. \u201cPlease tell me again what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She propped the pillows behind his back. \u201cWe don\u2019t have anything fancy, but I thought you could try some eggs today.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMa\u2019am\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know, I know. You start eating and I\u2019ll talk. It\u2019s no wonder you don\u2019t have it all. You\u2019ve fallen asleep every time I\u2019ve tried to explain this to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He relaxed and focused his stiff muscles on manipulating his eggs. She sat on the edge of the bed. \u201cAs I told you earlier, this wasn\u2019t planned. Cold Harbor was a good twenty miles away from here. It\u2019s just that after the battle, there\u2019s the problem of dead bodies, and my men, Russell and his son, Donald, got pressed into service along with other slaves.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He peered at her between bites. \u201cI thought you said your men weren\u2019t slaves.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia Mae nodded. \u201cMost folks around here don\u2019t make a distinction. They see only color. We need to avoid trouble so Russell and Donald went with them. Anyhow, it was Donald who spotted you among the dead. You were still breathing, but no one noticed. Donald remembered you, of course. When it was dark, he and his father got you in a cart and brought you here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was a risky thing to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, it was. I didn\u2019t know what to do.\u201d Then she smiled. \u201cThe three of us sat at my kitchen table for hours trying to reason through keeping a Union soldier behind enemy lines. In the end, none of us had the courage to do anything but what was right.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss grunted. \u201cI owe you a debt, Ma\u2019am, and your men. They could have been shot if they\u2019d been caught.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAs it was, they had to return to Cold Harbor and take a beating for disappearing like they did.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss grimaced and pushed the plate away. \u201cI ain\u2019t happy to hear that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re good men. And I asked Russell what made them take such a risk, and he said that he liked you. He figured that finding a white man who would look him in the eye was a true treasure, and he wasn\u2019t about to waste it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss smiled. \u201cNo matter what the state of the world, it seems like good folks ain\u2019t hard to find.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She put the plate back on the tray. \u201cWe\u2019re not out of the woods yet, Lieutenant. We still have to keep you out of sight. I\u2019ll have to ask you to stay away from the windows.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shifted as if testing his strength. \u201cI shouldn\u2019t stay here, Ma\u2019am. I don\u2019t want anything to happen to any of you all. If you can get my clothes, I can take to the woods.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you don\u2019t.\u201d She put the tray down and pointed a long finger at him. \u201cWoods are crawling with soldiers right now. They\u2019ll catch you and figure someone\u2019s been harboring you. You do us no favors by leaving.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut Ma\u2019am\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou stay in that bed! You hear? If we need an escape plan, we\u2019ll do one together. My men know these woods better than anyone. You\u2019re not going it alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss settled back into the bed. What color had been in his cheeks had drained through this last exertion. \u201cYes Ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She looked at him for a moment, hands on her hips. \u201cSeems like we should know each a bit better by now. My name\u2019s Georgia Mae.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He nodded. \u201cYou\u2019d do me a service by calling me Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt means big, friendly fella\u2019. Folks been calling me Hoss since before I can remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell now, Hoss, you rest, and maybe later, I\u2019ll bring up a checker board. What do you say?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss blushed and nodded as the brown-eyed woman as she closed the door. Then he remembered something crucial. \u201cMa\u2019am\u2026I mean Georgia Mae.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She popped her head back in the door. \u201cYes Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy boys, my men, I need to know\u2026Could there be others still alive at Cold Harbor? Maybe, there are others who didn\u2019t die. I had three squads of men under my command. I need to know\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, there are no more bodies that were breathing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRussell and Donald are still there, right? Maybe, there are more.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia Mae chose her words carefully. \u201cI think you might be confused about time. This didn\u2019t happen yesterday, and it didn\u2019t happen last week. Hoss, you\u2019ve been unconscious for almost three months. What happened to bodies at Cold Harbor has long been decided.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThree months?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She nodded. \u201cThe leaves on the trees are starting to turn. We\u2019re due our first frost within the month.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She could see he had a lot to process, and she closed the door softly on his stunned face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They watched the cattle disappear over the horizon, the dust leaving a cloud in its wake. The sun was setting on the cattle is if it was following them out of the valley. She smiled, \u201cDid you know it would be that beautiful?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked down at her. \u201cI had a feeling.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta looked over the horizon again. \u201cThis country\u2026it has a wild beauty.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot many women appreciate it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if you had to shake dust out of your skirts five times a day, you might understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He wrinkled his nose. \u201cCan\u2019t say I\u2019ve ever had to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She laughed. \u201cReady to go down?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He shook his head. \u201cLefty hasn\u2019t even started the beans. We go down now, and we have at least an hour of conversation about bovine diseases ahead of us. Lefty really fancies himself an expert. Let\u2019s take a walk.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He surprised her by taking her arm securely. He steered her down the other side of the hill. \u201cYou were kind enough to offer condolences regarding Hoss when we met in Denver. I would like to tell you about him if I may.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt would be an honor to hear about him.\u201d It was the most she could offer him as she fought the surge of emotion welling within her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss is the middle son as you know. My mother died at birth, and my pa and I headed west alone. My pa was pretty broken after her death, and he really didn\u2019t know what to do with himself. He was a good father, but he was sad. I was a quiet child. Moving like we did, I had to learn responsibility early. When he worked, I knew I had to behave on my own. I got used to sitting in corners while he worked or playing quietly in rented rooms. It was important that I not be a burden.\u201d Adam stopped for a moment. \u201cPa has since talked to me about that time. He wants to apologize for not giving me a better childhood, but I won\u2019t let him. He cared for me well. On those days, I was everything to him, and I always knew that. It was enough to give me what I needed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta squeezed the arm hooked in hers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe met his second wife, Inger, when I was about four years old. She is my one true memory of a mother. Beautiful and sweet: she had so much love for everyone around her. She took me in as her own immediately. I thought she was everything. When I was 6, she gave birth to my brother, Eric, otherwise known as Hoss.\u201d He smiled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe was as big a baby as anyone had ever seen: blonde, blue-eyed and rosy. I couldn\u2019t believe he belonged to us. Watching over him might have been a chore for some folks, but I wanted to be around him all the time. It was a good time, but it didn\u2019t last; Inger was killed when I was just 7 years old. I think that was those were the worst days I can remember. It wasn\u2019t just about losing her; it was about losing this light she\u2019d brought into our lives. She had such a spirit. And the only consolation for me was that she had passed on that spirit of love and kindness to her son. I kept Hoss with me all the time, and I protected that spirit within him. I didn\u2019t want him to think the world was a hard place, but I didn\u2019t have to worry. Hoss had a natural ability to see the best in all things. It was just a part of who he was.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stopped for a moment, and looked off at the horizon, and she could feel the struggle in him. She wanted words that brought comfort, but couldn\u2019t find them. In the end, all she had was, \u201cHe was special, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cHe got so big nobody thought he was cute anymore. People were frightened of him or they took advantage of his kind nature. Yet none of that changed him. Hoss took his time to learn, and people treated him like a dummy, but that didn\u2019t change him. People compared him to me or Joe, and said he was different, but he never lost his goodness. He was always there for people in need; those the rest of us had given up on. He changed lives.\u201d His face wrinkled for a moment. \u201cI never thought of this before, but I\u2019m just realizing how much he taught me. He thought I knew everything. Used to tell people how smart I was. Yet I think I learned more about kindness, redemption, and goodness from him than anything I ever taught him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She leaned her head on his shoulder, tears falling down her face. It was all she had to offer, and while she didn\u2019t know if it was anything, he didn\u2019t pull away. Instead, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her in, and they stood like that until the sun disappeared behind the Colorado hills.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux left them at the border to Missouri. Ben had waited this whole time, watching the man, debating this course of action, but in the end, he took him aside. \u201cThank you for bringing these boys this far safely. You\u2019ve made a difference for a lot of families.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux tipped his elegant black hat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t stop thinking of the Union soldiers still at Andersonville. The conditions\u2026I pray that they will last through the war.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAh will do what ah can, Mistah Cartwright. It\u2019s a worthy cause.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben reached into his hip pocket and brought out a handful of emeralds. \u201cI can\u2019t believe that a slave trader would know anything about honor, and so I find you to be a perplexing man. I don\u2019t know if you are trying to change; I don\u2019t know if you did this to find redemption or to just stay a step ahead of the devil, but I feel like I can trust you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux waited patiently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben reached for his hand and poured the gems into it. \u201cOn your honor, will you use these to continue bringing in supplies to the soldiers at Andersonville?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux nodded solemnly. \u201cOn my honor, each of these emeralds will be used to buy food and medicines for those boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stepped back. \u201cThank you, Mr. Bordeaux.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bordeaux gave an exaggerated bow, sweeping his hat before him grandly. He reminded Ben of the swashbucklers, the old salts used to tell of when he was a boy. \u201cGodspeed to you, Mistah Cartwright.\u201d Then he doffed his hat, and climbed onto the train. Ben waited until the train left the station, and then he turned to face the twelve boys he was bringing home with him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He picked up the red checker jumped one, then two, then three.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy Hoss, I never knew you to be so ruthless.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He smiled. \u201cYou let me win that one, Miss Georgia Mae. I seen you holding back.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019re mistaken. I would never surrender to a Yankee without a fight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He laughed and put the board away. \u201cI can say with all truthfulness that playing with you is a sight more fun than with my brothers. You ain\u2019t seen ruthless until you\u2019ve gone against Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s going to be Christmas in a few weeks. You must miss them something horrible.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He nodded solemnly. \u201cIt\u2019ll be the second Christmas away from home. The worst part is that they think I\u2019m dead or captured. It won\u2019t be a joyous holiday at the Ponderosa this year.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI pray this war would end before it drowns us all in sadness.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat sounds just like a poem, Miss Georgia. You have such a beautiful way of saying things.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She blushed. \u201cAnd you have made this terrible time so much more bearable for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then a small, dark head peeked in the room. Hoss smiled wide. \u201cI believe that there\u2019s some risk of attack from members of the Comanche Nation, Ma\u2019am. I think I have just spotted one of their best braves.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At that, the little boy plowed through the door, hooting and hollering and jumped into Hoss\u2019 arms. Hoss rolled with the boy, tickling him until he cried, \u201cUncle!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia Mae had to jump out of the way in order to avoid ending up in the middle of their bout. \u201cEnough, boys, enough! Mason, you come here. Hoss can\u2019t take that much horse play. Come on now!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mason dutifully slid off the bed while Hoss breathed hard against the pillow. \u201cAin\u2019t nothing, Ma\u2019am. A feller needs a good ambush every once in awhile. It gets the blood pumping.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mason broke away from his mother, and climbed up next to Hoss. \u201cI didn\u2019t hurt you none, did I, Mr. Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss patted his head. \u201cNot a bit, Boy. Ain\u2019t nothing more exhileratin\u2019 than a Comanche raid is what I always say.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boy laughed and snuggled up to him. \u201cI wish that you don\u2019t ever get better.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMason, what a thing to say!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mason held onto Hoss stubbornly. \u201cIf he don\u2019t get better, he won\u2019t ever leave, Mama. I want to keep him forever.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss colored. \u201cI ain\u2019t going anywhere too soon, boy. And don\u2019t you worry \u2018cause whatever happens, you and I are going to stay good friends. You hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mason nodded up at him. Georgia Mae shooed him off the bed. \u201cGo get washed up for dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boy disappeared out the door. She smiled softly at Hoss. \u201cDon\u2019t mind him, please. He\u2019s been lonely since his father left.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe was only two or three when he last saw him?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I guess he needs a man around. It\u2019s funny. John didn\u2019t spend that much time with him, but all Mason talks about is wanting his father.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think it\u2019s a natural thing with boys, Georgia. I think we naturally look for a man so we can know how to be, how to act.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow, he only has me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll find love again. A pretty woman like you with those big, brown eyes isn\u2019t going to have any trouble at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She looked down at her hands. \u201cSometimes you find love, and you think it\u2019ll all be okay, but you wake up one day and realize you were just a young girl who fell in love with good looks and charm. That alone isn\u2019t enough to sustain a good marriage. A man with integrity, a man with a good soul is worth a thousand sweet-talking gentlemen. I wish I had been smart enough to know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t look back, Georgia. There\u2019s nothing for you to do about any of that. You got a future to plan for you and your son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She looked at him steady. \u201cI know, Hoss. I\u2019ve been thinking about that nonstop. I do think I know what I want.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss swallowed. \u201cWhen you\u2019re ready to talk about it, Georgia, you let me know. I\u2019ll be waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was the day before he went back to the cattle drive that he smoothly took her in his arms and kissed her. She hadn\u2019t expected it nor had she anticipated that she would kiss him back with such fervor. He pulled her behind a hill, and they kissed until her lips were numb. He held onto her so tightly she could feel his heart beat, and she slid a hand up to cover it with her palm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He began whispering into her neck. \u201cI don\u2019t know what to do about this, Augusta. Everything tells me that this will hurt both of us. I am not an easy man to know. I\u2026struggle with getting close to anyone. Ask any woman who has ever tried.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She stayed still against his chest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou have such spirit. It hit me the first time we met. I\u2019m drawn to you, Augusta. I know that I need a woman who\u2019s my equal. And there you are, this girl who surprises me at every turn. You\u2019re brave, beautiful, smart, and good. It\u2019s a lethal combination for me. You remind me of Hoss\u2019 mother. I\u2019ve told myself a thousand times that this is nothing but folly, but I\u2026can\u2019t resist you. You take my breath away, Augusta.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She started to pull away, but he held her in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe also have to think about Joe. I can\u2019t hurt him. It\u2019s been bad enough with losing Hoss. Those two were inseparable. I can\u2019t betray him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She broke out of his grip and stared at him for a moment, breathing hard. Then she walked into him again until her hand was planted firmly on his heart. \u201cListen to me, Adam. I love you. I truly do, but it\u2019s not enough. I can\u2019t be part of this war you\u2019re having with yourself. If you come for me, it\u2019ll be when that war is won: not before. I\u2019m not the perfect woman for you, and you\u2019ll find many reasons to know that. Trust me. I\u2019m too young. I could get hurt. It\u2019ll hurt Joe. There are so many reasons to make this impossible. But Adam, I believe I am the right woman for you. And I am telling you now that when you know that, you come for me because I\u2019ll be waiting for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She stepped away from him. \u201cAnd if you don\u2019t come for me, you need to know that I\u2019ll be okay. I am full of life just like Inger Borgstrom. I won\u2019t shrivel up and fade away. I\u2019m too strong for that. A woman who\u2019s strong enough for you, Adam, has to be strong enough to survive without you. I am that woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She backed away. \u201cI\u2019ll be waiting, Adam Cartwright.\u201d Then she picked up her skirts and ran back to camp.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat at the edge of the bluff under the pretense of guard duty. They\u2019d been on the trail back to Virginia City for a couple of weeks, and were making good time. He figured he\u2019d have them all home a week before Christmas. He couldn\u2019t wait to get back to the Ponderosa. He was feeling tired, a lot more tired than he should have felt. He\u2019d taken to finding a place off by himself when they stopped, and letting them make camp. He only joined them for meals. It wasn\u2019t the most neighborly way to act, but he had so little energy and spending time with all of these young men, excited to get home and see their families, was draining.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He stared out on the bare expense of land that held little more than scrub grass and lonely trees gnarled by wind. It was a hard land, and not nearly as bountiful as his own Ponderosa, but it felt like the right place to be for right now. It was as if the land was a current reflection of his soul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey tried to make him a captain, Mr. Cartwright. I been wanting to tell you that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Startled, Ben turned to find that Rodney Yeats had climbed up behind him on the bluff.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou scared me, boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rodney nodded. \u201cI\u2019m real sorry about that. I\u2019m real sorry about disturbing your peace too. I figure a man goes off by himself for good reasons. It\u2019s just that I been itching to tell you some things, and with you going off so much, I didn\u2019t reckon I\u2019d have much of a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben knew the boy would want to talk about Hoss, and he had no idea if it would feel like a good thing or if it would suck what little strength remained in him. Still, he knew that Rodney was hurting too, and it wouldn\u2019t do to turn his back on the boy. \u201cSit down, Rodney. Tell me what\u2019s on your mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The young man settled in beside him. \u201cI was wanting to tell you that General Chamberlain tried to make him a captain last spring, but Hoss wouldn\u2019t have it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cI thought that happened when the General made him a lieutenant.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHappened both times, but this last spring, Hoss didn\u2019t back down. He refused to put the bars on and everything. He didn\u2019t tell anyone, but we all saw. And General Chamberlain came and tried to talk to him, and we were worried that he was going to get court-martialed. Cleary Hawkins said he heard Hoss tell the general that he was as high in rank as he aimed to be. Said he couldn\u2019t leave us boys. General finally just had to let him be. I guess I never saw anyone be that stubborn like that especially when the general could\u2019ve shot him ifn\u2019 he\u2019d of wanted. Hoss didn\u2019t even seem scared.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben snorted. \u201cMy son, Adam, used to call Hoss a \u2018Missouri mule\u2019.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe that\u2019s a funny story to want to tell you, but I remember it \u2018cause we\u2019re all so amazed. We figured he was the bravest man ever. We would\u2019ve followed him anywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rodney looked over for reaction, but Ben\u2019s face was like stone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know it\u2019s gotta\u2019 pain you to hear about him, but I just wanted you to know that we thought real highly of him. The general did too. Hoss had the best platoon in the whole regiment. People were always saying it too. I reckon they just wanted to keep promoting him, but Hoss knew where he needed to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust wish I\u2019d done a better job protectin\u2019 him. Just wish I\u2019d been there at the right time. Would\u2019ve taken the bullet for him. It\u2019s the truth, Mr. Cartwright. I would\u2019ve done anything to keep him safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben patted his knee. \u201cDon\u2019t fret, Rodney. You did what you could, and I appreciate you telling me about him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI got more stories too. Got lots of them, but I figure you\u2019re not ready for all that quite yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m not quite ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReckon I should leave you in peace again?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben let out a long sigh. \u201cJust save me a plate of beans, Rodney.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boy nodded, and got up quietly. Ben turned back to the horizon, and didn\u2019t move again until Rodney called him down after nightfall.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe hadn\u2019t thought much about Christmas until he rode into Virginia City. It had been a tough few weeks on the trail. The wind started bringing down cold air from the north, and three mornings in a row he awoke under a blanket of snow. It had been a hard six months riding trail between Virginia City and Denver, and his young muscles ached every move he made. Weather had started going sour the last time he saw Adam, and they decided that only one of them would finish the drive to Denver so that the other could get back to the Ponderosa in time to spend the holiday with Pa. Adam said that Pa shouldn\u2019t be alone this holiday, and when Joe pressed for details, Adam just said that Pa had finished a long business trip and would tell him all about it. Joe knew there was something not being said, but he didn\u2019t press.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe trotted Cochise down the main street, and noted a level of festivity he hadn\u2019t seen since before the war. Wreaths and ribbons were festooned all over storefronts, windows, and even hitching posts. Joe pulled Cochise up to the Bucket of Blood with thoughts of a couple of cold beers before heading out to the ranch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The saloon was bustling with activity, but Joe focused only on getting Cosmo\u2019s attention. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to find himself face to face with Hank Perdue. The last time he\u2019d seen Hank, the boy was following Hoss out of Virginia City.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHank?!\u201d Impulsively, he grabbed the lanky man and hugged him tightly. Hank let out his distinctive braying laugh. Suddenly, there were other men there, patting Joe on the back, and his breath caught as he recognized more and more members of Hoss\u2019 squad. \u201cIs the war over?\u201d he cried as the crowd thickened.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hank shook his head. \u201cOnly our part, Little Joe.\u201d Then he started pushing others. \u201cCome on, boys. Ain\u2019t got no call to smother Hoss\u2019 little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His brother\u2019s name sent shivers through him. \u201cHoss is home! Hoss made it home!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His words sucked the good cheer out of the air. Silence fell around them. Hank shook his head. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Little Joe, but Hoss didn\u2019t make it home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at them all wildly. \u201cI don\u2019t understand. How did you all get here? You were with him. I don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A familiar voice sounded at the back of the crowd. \u201cAlright boys, let me through.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy Coffee got up to Joe and then nodded at Cosmo. \u201cSet us up with a couple of beers in the back room.\u201d Then he gestured for Joe to follow. In the back room, he gestured for Joe to sit. \u201cYour pa was afraid of this. I told him I\u2019d keep an eye out for you, but I guess I didn\u2019t do a good enough job.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head angrily. \u201cDon\u2019t talk in circles, Sheriff.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy nodded. \u201cFair enough. Your pa used your de Marginy relations to get into Georgia. He ransomed the Virginia City boys there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe didn\u2019t tell me anything about this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Little Joe, but he knew you\u2019d insist on going.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDamn right I would!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd if you were using your head, you\u2019d know that a young man not wearing a uniform would stand out something fierce in the South right there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was suddenly gripped with another realization. \u201cHoss wasn\u2019t there. Pa got the others, but Hoss never made it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy looked him in the eye. \u201cYour pa knew better than to hope. He knew Hoss fell at Cold Harbor. There was no reason to believe he would\u2019ve made it to Andersonville. You knew all of this, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut that\u2019s why Pa went, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy sighed. \u201cHe had to know for sure. And the stories coming out of Andersonville were bad, real bad. He had the means to do something and he did it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s breathing deepened. \u201cThis means he\u2019s gone. This proves that Hoss ain\u2019t coming home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy pushed his chair back and took the two beers the girl brought into the room. \u201cHave a drink, Boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cListen to me, Joe. I can\u2019t figure on what you must be feeling right now. It\u2019s an agony to hear about the truth about your brother plus I know you gotta\u2019 be feeling steamed that your pa left you out of his plan.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI gotta\u2019 go.\u201d Joe got to his feet and grabbed his hat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSit down, boy!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe froze.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy pointed a finger at him. \u201cListen to me. Your pa brought those boys home a week ago. You should have seen him. He stood there while mothers cried and fathers patted him on the back, but he couldn\u2019t feel none of it. When I saw him, I thought, \u2018he looks beat.\u2019 Ben Cartwright looked beat. Did you ever think you\u2019d hear anyone say that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He rounded the table until he was in Joe\u2019s face. \u201cDon\u2019t go home buried in bad feelings. Your pa can\u2019t take it. I\u2019m talking to you like a man, Joe. As one man to another, you need to know that he can\u2019t take it. You gotta\u2019 bury whatever feelings you have about being left out or cheated or lied to or whatever. Do you hear me? He\u2019s a broken man right now, and he needs you. He just needs to be with his son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe seemed to slump back into his chair. \u201cI understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGo home, boy. Be his son. Be the one he doesn\u2019t have to worry on right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded. He picked up his hat and slowly got to his feet. \u201cI gotta\u2019 go, Roy. Got to get home to Pa. Thanks for talking to me. I needed it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat in the reception of General Peeler\u2019s office. He could hear the General behind the thin office door fussing at his oldest daughter, Joan. Adam felt strangely voyeuristic despite the fact he was only sitting where the Sergeant put him. The Sergeant behind the desk near the door shuffled through papers seemingly oblivious to the voices behind him. The door burst open, and the majestic Joan sailed through with her father on her heels. She saw Adam and her face lit up. \u201cWhat a surprise, Adam. You are a breath of fresh air in a very dark world.\u201d She threw a look back at her father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stood and allowed her to buss his cheek. \u201cYou\u2019re even more striking than I remembered.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease say you are staying with us, Adam. You\u2019re just the thing to save the holiday, what with Augusta\u2019s difficulties and Father\u2019s scrooge-like behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam frowned. \u201cAugusta\u2019s difficulties?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She wrinkled her nose. \u201cNothing serious. Nothing at all compared to Father\u2019s locking up my two best suitors. It\u2019s completely unfair!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Peeler threw up his arms. \u201cThey were fighting over you like a couple of saloon rats.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s romantic!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s criminal! Officers do not use fists on one another in front of enlisted men. It isn\u2019t done!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s chivalrous!\u201d She planted hands on her hips.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s conduct unbecoming an officer! They stay in the stockade until after the holidays. Enough said!\u201d With a thunderous clap of his hands, he turned and stomped back into his office. She shook her perfect head, and stormed off out the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For a moment, Adam just stood in the wake of the storm. Then he heard, \u201cCartwright! Get in here!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam reluctantly followed the stressed voice into the office. For twenty minutes, Peeler drilled him about numbers of cattle and prices. Finally the general sat back in his chair. \u201cMajor Cartwright, you and your men have done a bang up job. Even with your illness, you kept the drive moving until all your numbers were met. Outstanding, Major. Outstanding!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cChristmas is in two days. Surely, you\u2019ll be my guest for the holidays.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cUh, Sir, I am deeply flattered, but I should head back to the Ponderosa. I don\u2019t wish to leave my father and brother alone on Christmas.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll never make it back in time. Besides, the pass is snowed in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shifted in his chair. \u201cAre you certain? I thought it was still open.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Peeler shook his head. \u201cFoot of snow fell last night. You try it now, and you\u2019re going to be hip deep in places. I don\u2019t figure a Christmas celebration is worth that much risk.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI, uh, I hadn\u2019t considered anything other than heading back.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Peeler put his hands flat on the desk. \u201cWell, it\u2019s decided. You\u2019ll come home with me. Now that brings us to our other problem.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSir?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you do to my youngest daughter?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam colored. \u201cI can assure you\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not interested in your excuses. You just listen up.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat back, stunned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy Augusta is strong willed. She\u2019s bright and has a love of life that is amazing. I\u2019ve indulged her. I take responsibility for that. I never understood why smart, capable women should sit around drawing rooms like so much furniture. So when she has wanted to stretch, I\u2019ve let her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shifted uncomfortably.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Peeler raised his arms. \u201cShe spent the holidays with you last year, and I thought she\u2019d come home engaged to a rancher, but that didn\u2019t happen. Then she couldn\u2019t sit around the house while an epidemic was happening. I wasn\u2019t happy. I can tell you I made my position very clear, but she didn\u2019t blink. She just packed up and moved to the hospital. Did you know she came to nurse you without my consent?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head slowly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI had to send Banks after her in the dead of night.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam closed his eyes and let out a sigh.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen she comes back and do you know what she tells me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s face was like stone. He had no idea what was coming.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Peeler narrowed his eyes. \u201cShe tells me that she\u2019s going to be a spinster. Says she\u2019s done with men. She\u2019s twenty years old! I told her, \u2018Augusta darling, you have years for this.\u2019 She says, \u2018Papa, it\u2019s no good. I had my chance. I\u2019m not to marry.\u2019 She wouldn\u2019t even attend parties.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam cleared his throat. \u201cWell Sir, I\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know what you did!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam got to his feet. \u201cSir, I only\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou told her she should be a careerist!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike all of those other women who fight for abolition, the evils of drink, and the social betterment of the masses. All of your intellectual talk has her thinking she doesn\u2019t need a home and a family.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI never told\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The interruption this time came from the General\u2019s adjutant at the door. \u201cSir, Lieutenant Banks says it\u2019s urgent.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The general sighed deeply behind his desk. \u201cSend him in.\u201d He turned to Adam. \u201cYou, don\u2019t go anywhere!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A harried Lieutenant Banks came in. General Peeler glared, \u201cDid you find her?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Banks nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo, she\u2019s home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He shook his head slowly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Peeler got to his feet. \u201cWhere is she?!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe is down at the McTavish Mining Camp.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you bring her back?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe wouldn\u2019t come. She says there\u2019s cholera down there and she refuses to leave.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you just let her stay?!\u201d Peeler aimed his deepest glare at the Lieutenant.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Banks blushed. \u201cThe miners removed me. They ejected me from the camp…forcibly.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stepped forward. \u201cI got it, General. I just need to know where the camp is. I\u2019ll bring her home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll stop this nonsense about turning my daughter into a suffragist?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded vigorously. \u201cIt\u2019s not a problem, Sir. I will bring her home tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

General Peeler turned to Banks. \u201cGet Major Cartwright down there now!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Banks stood at attention. Yes, Sir!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe opened the door gingerly. The only light in the house was coming from the fireplace. He could make out his father\u2019s profile in the leather chair at the fireplace. Joe waited for his father to notice him, but there was no movement. Joe swallowed hard, and closed the door behind him. His father\u2019s snowy head turned toward him. \u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hello, Pa. I\u2019m home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A smile spread slowly across his face. \u201cJoseph, it\u2019s so good to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe relaxed. \u201cIt\u2019s good to be home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid you stop in Virginia City?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His father was silent for a moment. \u201cDid you see any of them?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa, I saw them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I didn\u2019t tell you about it because\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe put up a hand. \u201cDon\u2019t fret on it, Pa. Don\u2019t think a thing. I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad to be home. I know you figure you don\u2019t have to do much to make it a holiday, but I\u2019m expecting better than that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe boys in Virginia City have a dance planned for Christmas Eve. You\u2019re the guest of honor.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think I can do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe smiled and reached over to shake hands for his father. \u201cPa, I\u2019m gonna\u2019 go. I think you should too. I got a lot of pride for what you did. Men are home with their families this Christmas. It\u2019s a blessing, and you made it happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI figure you must be wondering why I didn\u2019t tell you about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think I know, and the truth is that it doesn\u2019t matter. You did what you had to do. I can respect that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben seemed to physically deflate. \u201cYou\u2019re not angry with me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa. I\u2019m not mad. I\u2019m proud. That\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think I can go to this dance.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Pa, but I want you to think about this. I think Hoss would want us to go. I think he would worry about just what I saw when I walked in the house. He doesn\u2019t want us alone, and he doesn\u2019t want us hurting like this. He\u2019d want us to be there, and celebrate with his boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben dropped his head. \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa, if you can\u2019t do it, nobody can. Everybody I know learns strength from watching you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned his head when Hop Sing walked into the room. Hop Sing looked at both of them, \u201cI have three roast goose in the kitchen. They\u2019re going to Virginia City for the party. I go to the party. Maybe, I am the only Cartwright there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe smiled. \u201cI\u2019m going with Hop Sing tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked up. \u201cHoss would like this?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHas Hoss ever turned down a party? Ever?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben grunted. \u201cWe won\u2019t stay late.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa. We won\u2019t stay late.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s in Denver, Pa. Things went long. He\u2019s finishing business.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was a good season?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe hesitated. \u201cAdam got yellow fever, but he\u2019s fine now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s breath caught.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Pa. He\u2019s fine. He\u2019ll come home soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAll of you are so precious.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Pa. I know. We\u2019ll get through this together. Okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben let out a deep sigh. \u201cYes, Joe, we\u2019ll get through this together.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t letting no army in, especially not with that one.\u201d The old miner pointed his rifle at Banks.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Banks started to protest, but Adam put up a hand. \u201cGentlemen, we understand that there may be sick people. We\u2019re here to help.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy would you want to help a bunch of savages?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam frowned. \u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what he called us. Told Miss Peeler we wasn\u2019t worth her time. Don\u2019t have to put up with that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave Banks a long look. \u201cI don\u2019t happen to share Lieutenant Bank\u2019s views. How about we arrange for him to stay here, and I\u2019ll come into the camp alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReckon we can do that.\u201d The miner waved him in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam followed him down the crude dirt path. Like most mining camps, the smell of raw sewage greeted him almost immediately. Crudely built shacks and tents appeared on either side of the path. Snow was starting to accumulate in piles against the fragile structures. The faces that peered out were almost exclusively men wearing scraggly beards and a week\u2019s worth of grime. Few women stayed in these camps. The men were rough and focused only on mining what few gold nuggets were resting in the streams. A woman like Augusta Peeler would be a rare sight, and one who would be at grave risk among frustrated, desperate men.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The miner brought Adam down to a large tent sitting at the edge of the stream. Adam figured this tent probably served for eating, meetings, and as a general gathering place. Today, there were sounds of groaning coming from within. Adam brushed past him and opened the flap. There were bodies everywhere and in the midst of them sat Augusta alone with a basin of water and towels. She turned her flushed face to him, and he immediately saw how overwhelmed and frightened she was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All of his indignation at the willful young women drained away, and he went over and knelt down next to her. \u201cAugusta?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy God, Adam, where did you come from?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind that. I see you\u2019ve put yourself in the middle of yet another mess.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you thought you\u2019d just swoop down and to rescue me?\u201d She brushed a damp curl off her forehead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He shook his head. \u201cI\u2019m here to help, Augusta.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She studied him for a moment before nodding. \u201cI\u2019ve been reading. The latest journal out of Oxford says cholera is most likely transmitted through the water. The miners have to stop using the creek for bathing, drinking, and sewage.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cI have read this too. We need to bring in water. The creek has to be contaminated.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She gestured at the men lying around her. \u201cThey need safe water and nursing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cYou stay until doctors, nurses, and water comes. Then I take you home and you don\u2019t leave. Do you hear me? No more gallivanting around, no more saving the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She looked down at her lap. \u201cDid you really expect me to just sit at home and wait for a man who was never coming for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe both know what I\u2019m talking about.\u201d A man let out an anguished groan, and she turned to him, reaching for a wet towel.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAugusta, I\u2019m sending Banks for supplies and personnel. I\u2019ll be back in a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He waited, but she didn\u2019t acknowledge him with a response. She was already deeply absorbed in the needs of the fevered men.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It had been a wonderful Christmas dinner. Georgia had saved flour and sugar for the occasion. There was a goose and strawberry preserves, canned green beans, bread, and a Lady Baltimore cake laced with bourbon and dusted with nuts. Russell and Donald came and they all sat around the table until midnight and shared stories about their different lives. Donald held a huge fascination with the West, and Hoss was called upon to tell story after story about life in Nevada Territory. He regaled them with stories of cattle drives and frontier town justice. He told them about facing grizzly bears and mountain cats, and he talked about the land. He knew he was sitting among people who knew how to love the soil for its beauty as well as its challenges. They didn\u2019t need fancy stories about foreign ports or big cities. These were simple folk who wanted a patch of land to call their own; somewhere they could stake their pride, something they could give to their children. Hoss was one of these people. All he wanted in life was to get back to his patch, and grow it and love it \u2018til the day he died.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia Mae tied on an apron after Russell and his son left, and began scrubbing at dishes. Hoss wanted to urge her to leave it until morning, but the situation provided an opportunity for a conversation that he needed to have with her. He carried plates to the sink while he worked up the courage, \u201cGeorgia, I talked to Russell earlier. He said that he heard there\u2019s Union troops no more than 20 miles north of here. He agreed to take me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She stopped scrubbing. \u201cThe woods are full of Confederates.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRussell thinks he can get me past them. I imagine he knows these woods better than any other man alive.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She hung her head as if suddenly very tired. \u201cYou\u2019ll be captured.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGeorgia, even if I was, I\u2019d never tell them about you. You can trust me on that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She turned her soulful eyes to him. \u201cWe\u2019d never see you again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s too dangerous to stay. There\u2019s Confederate soldiers moving down the road out there every day. Someone is going to notice something. I can\u2019t put you at risk like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She returned to her scrubbing, putting more force into it. The glass bowl in her hand cracked under the pressure and broke in two. She stared at it until tears started rolling down her face. Hoss walked over and gently took the glass pieces away from her. Then he took her hands, turning them palm up. \u201cI don\u2019t see any cuts, Honey. I think you\u2019re going to be just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her hands tensed in his and she hissed at him. \u201cI don\u2019t want you to go. I want you to stay here. I want you to stay with Mason and me\u2026forever.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018You\u2019re lonely, Georgia. It ain\u2019t goin\u2019 last. Things will be right again real soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not strong enough, Hoss. You can\u2019t do twenty miles.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He held her hands firmly. \u201cI can\u2019t just sit here and risk your lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She squeezed her eyes shut. \u201cWhat we feel, what I feel means nothing to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss dropped his head. \u201cI got my share of common sense, Georgia. What you feel right now is from loneliness. It won\u2019t feel the same when this is over and your life is ahead of you. You\u2019re not going to want a big oaf like me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His hands were so big as to completely engulf hers. She looked up at him. \u201cWhat do you feel, Hoss? Am I the only one feeling something?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He grinned out of one side of his mouth. \u201cMy heart opens easy, and loving you started almost the first day I met you. You\u2019re pretty and strong and good-hearted. It makes you just about impossible to resist. Plus you let me win at checkers, and there ain\u2019t a nicer thing to do for an ol\u2019 dummy like me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She led him over to the sofa and gestured for him to sit. She put her hands over his and looked into his big face. \u201cHoss, I need you to listen to me carefully.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI want you because you are good and kind and real. I had exciting and handsome, and it got hollow real fast. I want a man who stakes a claim and settles in. I want to grow old with a man who I can trust. I don\u2019t want fancy stories. I want a man who does what he says he\u2019s gonna\u2019 do. I want a man I can admire.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGeorgia\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She put her fingers to his mouth. \u201cI\u2019m not done, Hoss. At night, I ask God how I ever deserved to meet you. It isn\u2019t just circumstance. My heart feels joy for you. Can you understand that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss could think of nothing but to pull her in and hold her tightly. A sob escaped her. \u201cI love you, Hoss. I love your big, kind face and your strong arms. I love how gentle you are with my son. I love that I feel safe with you. I love how solid you are. I love\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss interrupted her with a kiss. After a few minutes, he smiled at her. \u201cIf you really want me, I\u2019m gonna\u2019 hold onto you and I ain\u2019t ever gonna\u2019 let go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat at the dance, and wished it would end. It was a new feeling for him. Dances were pure pleasure for a handsome, charming young man like Joe, but his circumstances left him tired from forcing cheer. Pa sat at the other end of the room among the parents, but he was looking better than Joe was feeling. Joe was surprised to find his pa looking better than expected. Using Pa as an excuse to duck out early wasn\u2019t going to work as slick as he had hoped.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The truth was that going home wasn\u2019t a big improvement. The two of them went through the motions, but the big house felt empty in a way that haunted them. The weather was too cold for much outside work, but inside the sorrow was measured in the slow, steady movements of daily life. His pa was teaching him that this is how a man survives a loss; he just keeps moving until one day it all means something again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was cut from a different cloth than his father. His body screamed for the space to explode. He wanted to run from it all, hide in another life until this one didn\u2019t ache so much. If it had been any other situation, he would have done just that, riding off for weeks or months until he could breath easy again. But God saw fit to take the one man who would have taken care of things until he got back. Joe was forced to sacrifice his angst so he could give his father some peace. Everyday, he had to temper his grief in order to take care of his pa. Every evening, he would look wistfully at the horizon that could be his if not for the responsibilities of family. For the first time in his young life, Joe was coming to understand what being a man was really like.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stood among a group of soldiers dressed in starch stiff blues. He himself was wearing one with the insignia of well displayed. It had been a week since he\u2019d arrived in Denver, and the pass still wasn\u2019t open for travel. The oldtimers talked about a warming trend over the next couple of days, and he was going to wait for that window, and plow through that pass. He figured if he didn\u2019t take that opportunity when it came, there wouldn\u2019t be another until spring. A flash of lavender caught his eye, and he turned to get a look at Augusta dancing the waltz in the arms of a handsome Lieutenant. She clearly loved dancing, and she threw back her head every few moments with a throaty laugh. He\u2019d done his best to keep a distance from her, but the magic about Augusta still drew him in completely. There were other women there who were arguably more beautiful, but he had no time for anyone other than the brave girl with the laughing blue eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It had taken him an entire day to get her out of the mining camp. The situation was helped by her father\u2019s realization that she wasn\u2019t leaving until relief came. Troops, medical supplies, and water wagons began pouring in a few hours after Banks went for help.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At home, the two of them slipped into the proper roles with Adam as house guest and Augusta as General\u2019s daughter. There wasn\u2019t a moment for the two of them alone, and frankly, Adam didn\u2019t know what he would do with that kind of time. The pull of her was so confusing to him that he wasn\u2019t sure if he would kiss her or run from her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Impulse took hold, and he found himself weaving around dancing couples until he was tapping on the shoulder of the nameless lieutenant who now had her. The soldier was too startled to put up much of a fuss, and soon Adam had her in his arms. For a few minutes, he concentrated on showing her what smooth dancing felt like. He could feel her staring at him, but he stayed focus on his movement.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI knew you would dance like this,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He smiled in spite of himself. \u201cI\u2019m happy to live up to your expectations.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI have no expectations, Adam. Expectations can be very dangerous with a man like you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam slowed their pace. \u201cI\u2019m being careful, Augusta. How can that be bad?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not.\u201d Augusta gave her body fully to him as he twirled her around. \u201cI just feel like there will always be reasons not to do things.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave her an extra turn and steered her off the floor and down a long hallway. To the right, he found a deserted library and pulled her inside. He closed the door behind her. She was the one who reached for him, and kissing him felt as smooth and as practiced as his dancing. This time when he broke away, he backed up several steps.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She shook her head in frustration. \u201cAre you scared of me now?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His hands were fists. \u201cI can\u2019t control this. I need\u2026to protect you\u2026and Joe and my father. Hoss is gone, but I\u2026can\u2019t let him down.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d she stepped toward him but he moved away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI must look so foolish to you. I just don\u2019t know what to do. I can\u2019t hurt Joe, not now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTalk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI want to, but his world is so upside down. It feels\u2026selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta groaned. \u201cLike loving me. Do you feel selfish for loving me when your family is suffering so?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He nodded. \u201cAnd I feel incapable of giving you the happiness you deserve. I don\u2019t have the joy in me that you deserve from a man. I love you, but it\u2026doesn\u2019t feel like I know it should for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cListen to me, Adam. I can help you. I have the strength for this. I bring enough joy for the both of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just not ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. \u201cI know. It\u2019s doubtful you ever will be.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t say that. What I feel for you is\u2026very real. It consumes me, Augusta. I just need time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOne of my worst faults is my lack of patience. I don\u2019t know what kind of time I can give you. I can\u2019t just sit and wait. You have to know that by now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAugusta\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy aunt in Chicago has invited me to come and stay. I think Mama and Joan are a little tired of my crusades, and Papa, well, I think he needs a break. I worry him so.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam leaned against a chair. \u201cThat\u2019s very far away, Augusta.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She blinked away tears. \u201cWomen are supposed to be patient creatures who sit by the window for how long as necessary for their man to come home, but I don\u2019t know how to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome here.\u201d He pulled her into him. \u201cYou\u2019re not like other women. It\u2019s part of what\u2019s so special about you. Go to Chicago.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She looked up at him. \u201cIs this it? Does this mean we stop trying?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He shook his head. \u201cI\u2019m not stopping, and I pray that you don\u2019t either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut we can neither of us make any promises. We have to know that there are no guarantees.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam said nothing. He just held her: her head on his chest, his fingers in her hair until they both forgot where they were.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They had worried that Mason might say the wrong thing so when that time came, Hoss scooped the boy up and headed for the attic. He and Russell had fashioned a hidden door in the roof. Hoss opened it with great care, and pushed the small boy out ahead of him, whispering for him to hold the tiles tightly. He followed him, and closed the door quietly behind him. Now the two of them lay still on the upper roof. Soldiers would not be able to see them from the ground. Hoss carefully encircled the boy with his arm and pulled him in tightly. He could hear the shouts of men on the ground. They were directing Russell to open up the barn. Pounding sounded below him, and he knew that they had entered the house. The idea that Georgia had to handle these angry men on her own set his teeth on edge. More than anything, he wanted to drop down and start swinging.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He felt the steps pounding closer, and he tensed. A groan from Mason told him he was holding him too tightly. \u201cShhh!\u201d he said softly to the boy. Mason was only four, but he understood enough to know he should stay as still as possible.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They were in the attic, and Hoss knew that all of their lives depended on the work he and Russell did on the seams of the hidden door. The footsteps disappeared, but Hoss knew to wait until she came for them. It was another half hour of tortured breathing before Georgia knocked on the door. Hoss carefully handed Mason down to her. When he dropped into the attic himself, he looked at Georgia. \u201cI leave tomorrow morning at dawn.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She started to protest, but he put up a hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI will not do this to you. I will not do this to Mason or Russell or Donald.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s February: too cold to be out in the woods.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He took her by the shoulders. \u201cThis was so close, Georgia. What would have happened to you and Mason if they\u2019d found me? Imagine that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI love you, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He hugged her tightly. \u201cThe day this war is over, I will come back here, and I will take you and Mason with me. Do you hear me? We\u2019re going to Nevada together.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sleep was impossible after the Confederate visit, and so Hoss was fully awake when Georgia slipped into his room late that night. She wore a thin white gown, and her thick hair hung in a braid down her back. She climbed in beside him. Startled, he turned to her. \u201cGeorgia, what are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI want to be with you tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoney, I\u2019m coming back. Do you really think I would leave you behind?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She slid an arm across his broad chest. \u201cI know you\u2019ll come back for me, but I\u2019m scared, Hoss. It is a terrible time. If this is the last time I\u2019ll ever see you\u2026I want to give myself to you fully.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He turned to her and traced the hair framing her face. \u201cYou don\u2019t have to do this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis is what I want.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He smiled. \u201cYou\u2019re going to be my wife, Georgia Mae.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She took his hand and kissed his palm. \u201cMake love to me, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss had worried about this moment his entire life. He wasn\u2019t a virgin. There was a saloon girl in Carson City he went to see every few months since Adam had introduced them on his 19th<\/sup> birthday, but that had nothing to do with this particular moment. He had always figured that when it was time, he would have a chance to plan, to rehearse the words he would say to her on the wedding night. Instead, he discovered that he didn\u2019t need all of that preparation. What he felt, what he said, where he touched her; all of it felt completely natural.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When he said good-bye to her at dawn, it felt like she was already his wife.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dinnertime was achingly polite. Adam had been home for a month, but Hop Sing still couldn\u2019t get the hang of cooking for only three men. Dinner always ended with serving bowls only half empty. It offended Ben\u2019s sense of proportion, and he spent the end of each meal staring at them angrily. This would all transpire in silence, and while Hop Sing was clearly cognizant of its effect on Ben, he was seemingly immune, and no amount of fussing changed his portions.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam struggled to find ways to talk about the feelings trapped inside, but it was as there was a moratorium on conversations that required any amount of emotional energy. Even Joe seemed removed from anything unrelated to work.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Newspapers were claiming that the war was on its last legs. The three of them devoured any news of the battles they could find. One evening in early March, Ben stood up out of his chair and faced his sons. \u201cOn the day this conflict ends, I\u2019m going East. I\u2019m not going to allow my son to be buried in an unmarked grave.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam held his tongue. It would be easy to point out the various ways in which this was imprudent if not futile. Thousands of men lay in unmarked graves or worse, mass graves. Even if they found him there would be the issue of transporting the remains across country.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going with you, Pa.\u201d Joe stood up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam ignored the illogic of it. \u201cYou\u2019re not leaving me behind.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cIt seems foolish, I suppose, but I like the idea that we all go. I think we need to do this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf this war is on its last legs, we need to get things done so the ranch can run without us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s going to run the place? We don\u2019t have one man capable for all that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe slapped his father on the back. \u201cI know. We\u2019ll use three of them; they can all be in charge of something. I think Curly would do well, JW is good, and how about Josiah.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While his father and brother discussed this idea, Adam found his thoughts drifting back to a sweet girl who could make him laugh, yell, and desire, all in the same breath. It was becoming harder and harder to control them. He couldn\u2019t find room in himself for juggling simultaneously the grief of losing a brother and the love for a woman. Going East with his family, no matter the futility, was as good a means of healing as he could imagine.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss crouched in the wet morning grass. He\u2019d been in the woods for most of the last three days. Growing up in the wild was as good a training as he could have for this endeavor. He survived on the hardtack Russell made for him, and slept under fir branches at night. It didn\u2019t save him from a bone chilling cold that seems to cover him like a blanket at all times. Georgia had been right about his health. Five miles winded him terribly, and he often had to crouch inside bushes to catch his breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Patrols had been a concern the first two days. He often hid for hours while Confederate soldiers roamed the woods. There was such an aimlessness to their wanderings that he suspected that they were too hungry and tired to patrol very cleanly. The 3rd<\/sup> morning, he didn\u2019t see or hear anyone. A painful cough had begun, and he imagined that he\u2019d have pneumonia soon if he didn\u2019t get out of the woods. He kept his eye on the tree moss, and moved north with as much purpose as he could muster. It was late afternoon when he heard the first sign of men; wagon wheels sounded ahead of him. He found himself near a well-traveled road. He lay under some bushes and waited. It was only minutes before he spied another wagon. Quietly, he waited until he could see the uniform. One came into view in the distance, and it was dull, clearly a dark gray of some kind. His heart sunk until the man came closer, and then he noted that the uniform wasn\u2019t gray, it was dirty. It was a dirty blue uniform. It was all he could do to keep from busting through the bushes, whooping his joy. However, Hoss had enough sense not to startle soldiers with guns. He waited until they passed. Then he got up, smoothed his clothes as best he could, picked up his rifle, and trotted after them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Spring thaw was early, and Adam drew strength from the green grass sprouting up around the hills. He\u2019d never had much of an emotional attachment to spring before, but the renewal of life touched him in ways he hadn\u2019t anticipated.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Across the valley, he spied Joe on Cochise. It was amazing how much he\u2019d matured. Adam found himself consciously working not to call him boy. Joe hit an empty expanse of grass, and dug his heels into the pony\u2019s sides. Cochise erupted with speed, bringing Joe across the valley like the wind. Adam watched with admiration. Joe could already outride and outshoot all of them any day of the week. The fact that he was the smallest Cartwright belied the fact that he was also the most dangerous.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam waved at him from atop the hill, and Joe steered Cochise in his direction. Soon Joe joined him at the top, his pony breathing hard. Joe jumped down, and led the pony to a little stream breaking through the rocks.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded at him. \u201cYou almost brought him to a foam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe laughed. \u201cHe loves to run. He wouldn\u2019t move with such heart if he didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid you find the herd in the south pasture?\u201d Adam hopped off Sport and joined him at the edge of the bluff.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYep. They weathered the winter great. Only found two dead ones.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood.\u201d Adam lapsed into silence. This was the only kind of conversation he and his brother had had in the last two months.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe squinted out at the horizon and then looked at Adam. \u201cI had a lot of time to think the last two days, being out there alone and all. I find that I\u2019m mighty curious about something.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked at him. \u201cLay it on me, Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened with Augusta?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A surge of anxiety shot through him, and it was a struggle to hold his face. \u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re saying, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLast summer, I watched the two of you. There were clearly feelings between you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI had yellow fever. It wasn\u2019t a romantic situation.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI could feel it between you; could see it too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing happened, Joe. I promise you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sighed and looked off into the distance again. \u201cSorry to hear that. I was hoping something was developing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam frowned. \u201cI don\u2019t understand. You loved her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI did, but it wasn\u2019t more than that. I didn\u2019t want to marry her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked down, unsure of what to say.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u201cYou held off because you were worried about me. You thought it would hurt me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t dare move a muscle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI want you to be happy, Adam. I saw how you looked at her. I\u2019ve never seen you look like a girl like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s young.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe smiled. \u201cBrother Adam, you better tell me what you\u2019ve been doing about this girl. I\u2019m beginning to suspect that you\u2019ve made this terribly complex.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam opened his mouth but nothing came out. He kicked dirt in the way he did when he was a boy and Pa was scolding him. Finally, he was able to shape, \u201cI love her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen where is she!?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s complicated.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs this about Hoss? Do you think you honor him by turning away the woman you love? If he was here, he\u2019d pop you real good about now. I\u2019m serious, Adam. Hoss knew more about love than the rest of us combined. He\u2019d never let you give up an opportunity like this.\u201d Joe\u2019s breath caught. \u201cHe\u2019s looking down at you right now, and he wants you happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam closed his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tears stung Joe\u2019s eyes. \u201cI want you happy. Pa wants you happy. Crawling into a dark place and giving up ain\u2019t no kind of way to honor your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned his head. \u201cWhat about you and Pa? I\u2019m not the only one grieving.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t got this opportunity. You do!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s chest was tight like he\u2019d just inhaled dust.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe grabbed his shoulder. \u201cLook at me!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It shocked him that even his youngest brother understood emotions better than he did. He looked at Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, if you find love with Augusta, I\u2019m not going to be feeling angry or betrayed or jealous. I\u2019m going to feel happy for you, and your happiness will help me and it will help Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI sent her away.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his brother. \u201cThen you find out where she is because we\u2019re going for her. Pa\u2019ll want to come too. You\u2019re going to marry her if Pa and I have to make it a shotgun wedding. Hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Aunt Louisa was General Peeler\u2019s sister. Augusta had never met her. She knew her father was devoted to her, evidenced by a religious exchange of mail. She also knew that her mother spoke of her with the same tone of voice she reserved for talking about Sioux Indian raids.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Louisa had been widowed young, and left with a considerable fortune. Augusta expected to find a very proper Chicago lady, but shocked with the refined lady turned out to be a sharp reformer. The first week, she dragged Augusta to political meetings every day, and when there was an occasional break from that, she was ladling out soup at a relief kitchen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When the shock wore off, Augusta found herself stimulated in ways she had never before experienced. It was a good distraction, but didn\u2019t keep her from thinking about the dark, serious man who\u2019d run off with her heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was the one free evening she\u2019d had in two weeks when Aunt Louisa finally got down to business. Unlike real ladies, Louisa didn\u2019t sit on the edge of a chair, straight as a young pine. She tended to drape herself over chairs as if she\u2019d just collapsed on them. She\u2019d just made a dramatic drop into chaise lounge that evening after dinner when she announced, \u201cI think you should know that your father wrote me all about your young man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta sat up, blinking. \u201cMy father knows of no young man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Louisa threw back her head and laughed. \u201cLesley notices a great deal more than he mentions. He didn\u2019t need you to tell him about the older Cartwright boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta blushed deeply.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Louisa looked over and softened her approach. \u201cAugusta, you\u2019re a special young woman, very much like your father and your grandfather as am I. It isn\u2019t easy to have characteristics best suited for a man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta looked down at her hands folded in her lap daintily as her mother had so carefully taught her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe sounds like a man who values your intelligence, independence, and strength.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe does,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour father suspects he is too burdened by grief over his brother to properly woo you. He hopes you\u2019ll have the patience to wait for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta\u2019s eyes were red and wet, but she wasn\u2019t sure what it was she was feeling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad you came, Augusta. I think the change will be just the distraction that you need.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think he\u2019ll ever be ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNonsense! I can\u2019t tell you for sure that he\u2019ll ever propose, but I can tell you that the unexpected is a daily part of life. A possibility that doesn\u2019t exist today may exist next week. We must live each day eager to discover what happens next.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI wish I had your clarity.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Louisa laughed again. \u201cIt\u2019s the gift that comes when other parts of your life start to fade. If I\u2019d had clarity and youth at the same time, I would have taken over the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta found herself laughing along with her lively aunt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRest up tonight, girl. Tomorrow, we are going to a field hospital set up to handle the men who are trying to get home. They aren\u2019t very organized. I suspect we\u2019ll be quite busy for the next few weeks.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss was in a Union field hospital fighting pneumonia when Lee surrendered to Grant at Appomattox Courthouse on April 9th<\/sup>, 1865. A week later, President Lincoln was shot and killed. The excitement Hoss had been feeling was tempered by a loss he felt keenly despite having never met his president.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He wanted to immediately get on the road to Georgia\u2019s home, but soldiers warned him strongly against it. There were still gangs of marauding soldiers; some who didn\u2019t know the war had ended and some just bent on revenge. Waiting grated on Hoss, and he left the day after Command discharged him his commission. He had another reason to push. Downed telegraph lines made it impossible to get word to his family that he had survived the war. He wanted nothing more than to collect Georgia and Mason, and start traveling West.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He avoided everyone by traveling in the woods. The invincible Hoss Cartwright was now only a shadow of his former self. He had no faith in his ability to fend off even a single attacker. It took him four days to get back to her farm. Along the way, he saw enough burned houses to keep him moving as fast as his weakened state would allow. Finally, he got close enough to see the top of the house, and it become clear to him that Georgia\u2019s farm had been spared.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was only halfway up the drive though when a dark haired man with a limp came out from behind a tree with a raised rifle. Hoss put everything down. He didn\u2019t know who the man was, but he wanted to make sure the man could see that he posed no threat. The man narrowed his dark eyes. \u201cWhat are you doing down here, Yankee?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss swallowed. \u201cI\u2019m here to visit a friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere aren\u2019t any Yankee friends down here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was stationed down here for a bit. There was a woman and her son. I am here to make sure they\u2019re okay.\u201d Hoss was careful not to allude to the time he spent hiding on the farm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNobody needs you to check on them. Now go on, Yankee. Go on back where you came from.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t do that, friend. I need to see her, and I need to talk to her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot possible.\u201d Behind the man, Russell emerged quietly from the wood. At first, Hoss thought he would take the man from behind, but Russell just stood there quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy name is Hoss Cartwright. What\u2019s yours?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The man laughed sharply. \u201cNamed after a horse, are you? Very fitting I would say. Be nice if you had one right now. It\u2019d help you get off my property in a timely manner.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss worked to temper his breathing. \u201cI told you my name. What yours?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m John Raleigh Houston and this is my farm.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Russell stepped forward. \u201cMr. Houston, I know this gentleman.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Houston looked back sharply. \u201cWe don\u2019t welcome Yankees on this property.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe helped us during the war, Sir. He made sure we had supplies. He\u2019s a good man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRussell, you let him on my farm? I swear to God, man!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSir, we thought you were gone. There were official papers and everything. Miss Georgia was just doing what she needed to in order to care for your son. The Lieutenant here was kind to us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo, you\u2019re saying that he\u2019s a good man, huh?\u201d Houston challenged Russell. \u201cA man who comes back after the war sniffing after another man\u2019s wife. You call that a good man?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia appeared at the edge of the wood. Hoss saw her, but didn\u2019t say anything. He prayed she would take that as a signal to go back. Still, she came running toward them, her long skirts billowing behind her. \u201cStop it, John! Stop it! He\u2019s a friend!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He turned to his wife. \u201cSo this is how you honor your husband while he\u2019s off to war.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe war is over, John. Can you understand that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCuckolded by a Yankee. Such a fitting tribute to my years of faithful duty as a husband.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss frowned. \u201cShe didn\u2019t do anything against you. She ain\u2019t got no cause for guilt.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Houston leveled his gun at Hoss\u2019 chest. \u201cThere isn\u2019t a man in this county who would convict me of drilling you with a bullet right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEven if nobody listens to a Black man in this town, I\u2019ll make it known you shot an unarmed man for spite.\u201d Russell said in a tone that surprised everyone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Houston looked at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Russell shook his head. \u201cYou ain\u2019t used to the fact that I\u2019m not your slave anymore. You\u2019ve been treating me like one since you got back.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAfter all I\u2019ve done for you?\u201d Houston seemed confused more than angry.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Russell chuckled. \u201cDonald and I have family in Georgia. We\u2019ll be gone by the end of the week.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss stepped forward. \u201cI ain\u2019t leaving this property until I get a chance to talk to your wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m betrayed by the lot of you!\u201d He threw his rifle and stomped off to the house. Russell picked up the rifle and followed at a distance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia ran to Hoss and held him tightly. \u201cHoss, I didn\u2019t know he was alive. I had no idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Georgia. I believe you. Now, all we have to do is get Mason and walk away from it all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Georgia started to sob. \u201cI\u2019m a married woman!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss knew she was stating a complexity they couldn\u2019t ignore but he wasn\u2019t ready to reason it out. \u201cHas he hurt you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She shook her head. \u201cHe\u2019s angry, but he\u2019s not vicious.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome with me, Georgia.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She stepped away. \u201cHow long could we convince ourselves that this is the right thing?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss looked away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, he\u2019s angry and he\u2019s not the man you are, but he\u2019s not a bad man. He fought for four years, and he deserved better when he got home. He loves Mason.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t ignore what I feel.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, I would leave with you in a moment if I could justify taking Mason away from his father. John\u2019s tired and he\u2019s hurt. He has no money and we\u2019ll probably have to sell the farm. He\u2019s lost and he needs me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo Georgia, no.\u201d Hot tears fell down his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She put her hands on his face. \u201cIt isn\u2019t just me, Hoss. I know you well enough to know that it would always stand between us. We wouldn\u2019t be able to be legally married, and we would always know that we\u2019d taken a son away from his father for no reason other than our own selfish desires. It would eat at both of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re sure he won\u2019t hurt you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She shook her head. \u201cHe doesn\u2019t have it in him. My biggest struggle will be to channel his anger into something productive. There\u2019s no need to fear for me or Mason. We\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She lay against his chest. \u201cI love you. I will always love you, but if you stay any longer, I won\u2019t be able to resist you. We will end up making decisions that are selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He stroked her back. \u201cSelfish ain\u2019t all bad, Georgia. I figure you and I are due a little selfishness.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For a long moment they stood like this silently. Then he gently pulled away from her. \u201cI could probably get away with telling myself stories about why I took you from your husband for the first couple of years, but I know that one day it would come down to knowing that the decisions we make in life define us. I\u2019d have to\u2026\u201d he swallowed hard and stopped.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe almost had a chance, Hoss. I\u2019ll grieve you something fierce, but I\u2019ll also hold memories of our love. I\u2019ll save thoughts of you for those moments when I\u2019m alone and the house is quiet. Let\u2019s not stain those memories by doing something half wrong now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t tell Mason I came. Best not to confuse the boy. Let him grow something with his Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She nodded. He reached for her once more, but she jumped back, her face wet with tears, grabbed her skirts, and went running back to the house. Hoss stood there for a long time. He knew Houston could come back with that squirrel gun, but he didn\u2019t care. It\u2019d been too long a journey with too many wounds to his body and his heart to care about another bullet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam got a wire from General Peeler with Augusta\u2019s address the same day that news of the surrender came through. He, his brother, and father were on a stage two days later. Joe had wasted no time filling Pa in on Adam\u2019s feelings for Augusta. Ben had been excited, but couldn\u2019t read his eldest son. Days later, he looked at him seated across him on the stage. Joe had fallen asleep on Adam\u2019s shoulder. The sight reminded Ben of his sons as boys; so different but so devoted to one another. Memories of his middle son were inevitable, but he found that they were becoming less painful and more comforting. If Hoss had been there, he\u2019d most likely be sitting between them. Joe would be teasing Hoss about something, and Hoss would be smiling about it. Adam would act annoyed, but Ben knew he enjoyed his brothers\u2019 tussles. He started to smile at the memory.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam raised an eyebrow. \u201cPenny for your thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shrugged. \u201cJust remembering.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded and turned to look out the window again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, are you sure about this?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave him a puzzled look.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure that Augusta is the one?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He smiled. \u201cI love her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI just want you to be sure. Joe\u2019s enthusiasm for this isn\u2019t enough to sustain a marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s remarkable, Pa. I don\u2019t just love her, I admire her. There\u2019s something about her\u2026I don\u2019t have the words.\u201d Adam thought for a moment. \u201cShe reminds me of Inger. I don\u2019t know why exactly\u2026\u201d He frowned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled. \u201cIt makes sense to me. She does have something special about her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBeing around her makes me want to be better. I want to learn from her. I know she\u2019s young, but there\u2019s something about her that\u2019s ageless.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben let out a low whistle. \u201cYou\u2019re in deep, son. I just pray she\u2019ll take you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam laughed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For days, Hoss walked aimlessly. The road was growing thick with other men also going home. He ate little and slept by the side of the road. Every day, it seemed less likely he was going to end up anywhere familiar.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On the third day, he found a boy who looked as young as Jamie Green had two years ago. It didn\u2019t matter to him that the boy wore gray. He had vacant eyes and seemed to be largely unaware of his surroundings. Hoss immediately took him under his wing. He put more effort into finding berries and edible roots, and forced the boy and himself to eat them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He talked to him continually, but the boy seemed confused. He gave Hoss a different name every time he asked. The only consistent answer he gave was that he was heading to Missouri.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The third day he was with the boy, he remembered that scurvy can often leave a man confused in the head. At the next town, he spent an exorbitant amount on three oranges, and made the boy suck them all down. Hoss had taken to calling the boy, Goose, after his green gooseberry colored eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next day the boy woke remembering where he lived and his name which he reported was John Wesley Boggs. Hoss had had enough of the name John, and went back to calling him Goose. The boy didn\u2019t complain.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As they walked, Hoss tried to figure out he\u2019d get Goose to his hometown in Missouri. The boy was clearer, but was nowhere near ready to find his way on his own. Hoss knew he couldn\u2019t walk the boy that far. He stopped in the next town, and used another large sum to buy the boy a set of clothes. It was safer for him if he looked as neutral as possible.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In the next town, Hoss used the last of his money to buy the boy a ticket home on the stage. By then, Goose was lucid enough to thank him for his life. Hoss didn\u2019t say anything. The truth was that the boy probably did as much to save Hoss\u2019 life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Two days later, he was in Chicago. It was still as big and crazy as he remembered. For half a day, he walked in a daze. Then men started pointing him to a field hospital for soldiers going home. There was a long line of men waiting to register, and Hoss settled in to wait. When he finally got to the head of the line, he declared himself Lieutenant Cartwright, and handed over his discharge papers. The man noted them and handed them back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss leaned in. \u201cSergeant, I need to talk to someone about getting more scrip.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The harried man looked up. \u201cYou got what was coming with your discharge.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt seems that I ran through it.\u201d Hoss was careful not to mention he\u2019d used it to dress and rehabilitate a Confederate soldier.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOfficers,\u201d the sergeant said, rolling his eyes. He turned to a clerk behind him. \u201cCheck to see if there\u2019s any money coming for a feller named Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCartwright?\u201d echoed the clerk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCartwright!\u201d The sergeant repeated. Nearby a nurse looked up and stared their direction.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t nothing here for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sergeant looked up at him. \u201cI can\u2019t help you, fella\u2019. Next!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss had no energy to even formulate a response. He moved out of the line, and looked around for the soup kitchen. A young nurse walked toward him. She was a pretty little thing with soft curls and eyes like bright jewels. He still had enough presence left to nod and smile at her. She stopped in front of him, searching his face. \u201cWhat\u2019s your name, soldier?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLieutenant Eric Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her breath caught. \u201cWhere do you live?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNevada territory. My pa has a ranch there named the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She covered her mouth with both hands, and for a moment, he worried she was about to get sick.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou okay, Ma\u2019am?\u201d He reached over to steady her arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His brows furrowed. \u201cI… Do I know you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re Hoss Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know your family, Hoss.\u201d Her chin trembled, but she held her composure. \u201cThey miss you terribly.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know my family?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She nodded enthusiastically. \u201cHoss, they\u2019re going to be so excited to find out you\u2019re alive.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss winced. \u201cI was afraid they\u2019d think I was dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She took him by the arm. \u201cIt\u2019s okay. Don\u2019t worry. We\u2019ll wire them right away.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou really know my pa and Adam and Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She smiled at him warmly. \u201cI do, Hoss. And I feel like I know you too. I can\u2019t tell you how happy I am to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t even know your name.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m Augusta, Hoss, and you\u2019re going to come with me. I\u2019m going to take good care of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss was feeling more than a little confused, but she wonderfully sweet and he was desperately tired. He allowed her to lead him away from the field hospital.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam, Pa, and Joe got to Chicago late in the afternoon, but none of them wanted to waste any time settling in to a hotel. Bags in hand, they headed for Augusta\u2019s address. The maid told them she was at a field hospital at the edge of the city. Adam suppressed a twinge of annoyance. Augusta was always going to be in the thick of things. He imagined it would save him time if he accepted it rather than fighting it in her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They grabbed a hansom cab, and the sun was beginning to set by the time they got to the hospital. A nurse pointed them to a kitchen canteen. Adam found the excitement in him overwhelming. He led his brother and pa over just as she stepped outside the tent. \u201cAugusta.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She looked up, recognition slowly dawning on her features. Tears immediately sprang to her eyes. \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here for you, Augusta. Joe and Pa came with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She couldn\u2019t stop the tears falling down her face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam wrinkled his brow. \u201cAre you okay? Are you happy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She covered her mouth. \u201cHow can this be? I sent the wire only a week ago. You couldn\u2019t have\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat wire? We never got a wire. I came for you. My family came\u2026we were hoping you would come with us to Cold Harbor. We\u2019re going to see if we can find Hoss. We need to bring his body home. Augusta, will you come?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She shook her head. \u201cNo, Adam, you don\u2019t need to do this. I have somebody I want you to see.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam deflated. \u201cI\u2019m too late, aren\u2019t I? You met someone. I shouldn\u2019t have waited.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Adam, no.\u201d She reached for him. \u201cYou don\u2019t understand. Come!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She pulled him over to the tent and opened the flap. \u201cLook, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He peered inside. The canteen was empty save one lanky, rawboned man who was putting great energy into inhaling a bowl of stew. A feeling washed over Adam; he couldn\u2019t quite believe what he was seeing. Joe peered over his shoulder. While Adam hovered in shock, Joe did exactly what his excellent reflexes had always afforded him. \u201cHoss!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The man looked up, and they all saw the familiar big face with the blue eyes. Joe ran straight at him, and before anyone else could react, Joe had scrambled over the top of the table and tackled his brother. The two of them fell over in a crash. A groan rose from behind the table. Augusta ran in. \u201cHe\u2019s not well, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright rushed past her, and pulled his youngest son off Hoss. Then he knelt beside him. \u201cSon?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The blue eyes blinked at him. \u201cIs it a dream, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben put a hand on his cheek. \u201cI hardly recognize you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt ain\u2019t been no picnic.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, how\u2026you fell at Cold Harbor.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss wrestled his elbows under him, and tried to rise to a sitting position. Joe was there to push him upright. \u201cPa, it\u2019s a horrible long story. Let me just say that an angel saved me and brought me back to life.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben searched his face. \u201cWho? Hoss, who can I thank for this? Take me to her. I need to meet her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u201cIt ain\u2019t possible, Pa. Let\u2019s not talk about it now, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded, certain his son was hiding some deep kind of sadness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss smiled at him. \u201cYou look great, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon, you look horrible. What happened to you? We\u2019re going to get you to the finest doctors.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head. \u201cIt ain\u2019t no mystery. I\u2019m tired, got a hole in my chest, ain\u2019t eaten half what I need to stay upright, and been struggling with a bit of pneumonia.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe tousled his brother\u2019s thinning but overgrown head of hair. \u201cHe\u2019s going to be fine, Pa. I just know it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAs long as you\u2019re around, Little Brother,\u201d Hoss reached for him affectionately.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was about to squeeze him around the middle again when Ben wagged a finger at him. \u201cDon\u2019t touch him! He\u2019s in no condition for your antics.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam watched all of this from the tent flap. Letting go of it felt somewhat risky. Emotions were spilling over, and he was just trying to keep from drowning. Augusta came over, and hugged him tightly, laying her head on his chest. Her presence helped ground him. He looked down. \u201cI don\u2019t have a ring yet. There were a few hours to look in Denver, but nothing stood out. We could look for a ring here in Chicago.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She giggled into his shirt. \u201cI\u2019m not worried about a ring.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid I ask you? Did you\u2026Augusta?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She tightened her hug, sighing deeply. \u201cYou didn\u2019t but I do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He chuckled softly. \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to make you the best wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was pulling Hoss to his feet. The man was still big, but his body looked almost hollow in its weakened state. Pa frowned at his son\u2019s condition. \u201cI still think we need a doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss chuckled. \u201cJust get me to the Ponderosa. I just need my home. That old goat, Hop Sing, will fix me up just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then the big man looked for Adam. \u201cAdam! Get over here, Brother. I ain\u2019t got the strength to go chasing you around this tent.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Augusta pushed him. \u201cGo!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam lurched forward and pulled Hoss into him. The two brothers hugged tightly. Then Hoss held him at arm\u2019s length. \u201cI know about you, Big Brother. Augusta is a good friend of mine. I know you ain\u2019t treated her much better than a polecat in a chicken coop. You better do right by her or things are going to get a little brisk around here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam swallowed. \u201cShe said yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss whooped and slapped him across the back. \u201cThat\u2019s the way, Adam. I taught you well. Go get her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned around, grabbed his fianc\u00e9e around the waist and twirled her around the room. Joe and Hoss cheered them on. Ben closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. This was one of the moments of his life, and he was determined to tuck it away somewhere safe inside himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The dress strained against her midriff. Every day, it was becoming more of a struggle, but she had no other solution but to suck in her stomach and pray that this would not be her day of reckoning. She kept a shawl slung low, but it looked awkward exactly as if she was trying to hide something.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She stayed at one end of the mercantile fully aware that her sister-in-law, Mary Ellen, was gossiping about her at the other end. Finally she had what she needed, paid the merchant, and walked past Mary Ellen, her head high, refusing to acknowledge her nastiness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mary Ellen and her friend watched Georgia as she walked down the street. \u201cYou can see that she\u2019s pregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her friend nodded. \u201cShe\u2019s showing alright. Guess she didn\u2019t waste any time once John got home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mary Ellen glared at her. \u201cAre you not paying attention, Selma? How long has John been back?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I remember it was the week before Elmer\u2019s birthday. Must have been the middle of April.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat was eight weeks ago. Does she look eight weeks pregnant to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Selma\u2019s mouth dropped. \u201cThat girl\u2019s four months gone if she\u2019s a day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mary Ellen nodded. \u201cAnd John\u2019s going to hear about it. Trust me on that, Selma.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*****End*****<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 The Union army conscripts one member from every family to fight in the burgeoning war between the State.\u00a0 How is it that all three Cartwright sons become involved in the war?<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (45,770 words) \u00a0(Authors note: I worked all summer on this, and it\u2019s epic long. I hope you\u2019ll take the time to climb in this story. And I hope to hear what you thought.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8565,"featured_media":5695,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,23],"tags":[14,15,17,16],"class_list":["post-11915","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-actionadventure","category-drama","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-ben","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-2-id","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1267,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/YankRebjpg.jpg?fit=290%2C174&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":10754,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10754","url_meta":{"origin":11915,"position":0},"title":"The Sound and the Fury (by sandspur)","author":"sandspur","date":"March 24, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: It's brother against brother, Cartwright style! Revenge is not a dish best served cold--it's best served to the sound of the cannon! Rating: K\u00a0 (1,160 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Cannon-fire.jpg?fit=575%2C383&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Cannon-fire.jpg?fit=575%2C383&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Cannon-fire.jpg?fit=575%2C383&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15575,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15575","url_meta":{"origin":11915,"position":1},"title":"Fondue Too (by Robin)","author":"profrobinw","date":"December 4, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 The sequel to Marie, My Fondue. Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (935 words) Fondue Series, links to all the stories within the series are included.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12136,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12136","url_meta":{"origin":11915,"position":2},"title":"The Rebirth of Joe Cartwright (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"August 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this story should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/feature-2.jpg?fit=338%2C338&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12135,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12135","url_meta":{"origin":11915,"position":3},"title":"Prelude to Rebirth (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"August 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this story should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/4Cs.jpg?fit=400%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12132,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12132","url_meta":{"origin":11915,"position":4},"title":"Chinese Molasses (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"January 1, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this series should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2162,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2162","url_meta":{"origin":11915,"position":5},"title":"Shelter (by pony)","author":"pony","date":"December 8, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0\u00a0Adam and Joe Cartwright are lost in a blizzard. Their only hope ... shelter. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K (1,390 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza31.jpg?fit=573%2C389&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11915","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/8565"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11915"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11915\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5695"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11915"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11915"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11915"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}