{"id":1195,"date":"2004-04-28T23:16:04","date_gmt":"2004-04-29T03:16:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1195"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:08:26","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:08:26","slug":"that-was-the-week","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1195","title":{"rendered":"That Was the Week . . . (by Rona)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong> \u00a0A week of hilarious mishaps is recounted for Candy’s benefit. But there is one thing he can’t believe… <\/span><\/p>\n

Rated: \u00a0K \u00a0 (4,090 words)
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

Disclaimer:<\/strong>\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/span><\/p>\n

That Was the Week . . .<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cThat was the week,\u201d Hoss said, expansively, \u201cwhen the only person who didn\u2019 git bruised or broken was Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re kidding,\u201d Candy Canaday replied, looking at Joe, who was already laughing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cNo, he\u2019s telling the truth,\u201d Ben Cartwright, Candy\u2019s boss, assured the young cowboy. \u201cWe didn\u2019t believe it ourselves, and yet we lived through it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0A short silence fell as the three Cartwrights looked back. Outside, they could hear the wind howling and the snow scouring against the windows. They were snug in the house and it was good to know that they were stocked up against the blizzard that raged outside.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cWell don\u2019t stop there!\u201d Candy exclaimed. \u201cTell me all about it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

It was the height of summer. Calving was over and branding hadn\u2019t yet started. The hay was almost ready to cut and Joe had a string of horses to break for the army. Adam was complaining that Joe should be helping them round up the herd for branding, instead of \u201cplaying with his horses.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Overhearing, Joe snapped back and before Ben could draw breath, his oldest and youngest sons were involved in a slanging match. Sternly, he stopped them and sent them off to do the jobs they had been assigned to, noticing as he did so that Joe shot Adam a triumphant look, as though he had won that battle. Ben sighed. It looked as though it might be a long summer.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0As he shooed his sons away, Ben saw a line of gypsy caravans trailing across the edge of his vision. His heart contracted. \u201cPlease, don\u2019t let it be Tirza come back for Joe,\u201d he prayed. He had understood Joe\u2019s infatuation with the beautiful, troubled young girl, but he had really been horrified when Joe announced he wanted to marry her. Ben had almost choked on his coffee! Since to forbid the marriage (which he was perfectly entitled to do; Joe was under age) would only have made Joe want her more, he had gritted his teeth and told Joe she was a fine girl, although anything less like the truth he had never uttered. Fortunately, Tirza herself had refused to marry Joe and although the boy was heartbroken for a few days, he soon bounced back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Squaring his shoulders to meet whatever came, Ben went across to greet them. \u201cI\u2019m Ben Cartwright,\u201d he introduced himself, thankful to see that this was a different group of gypsies. \u201cThis is my ranch, the Ponderosa, that you are on. What can I do for you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe have heard of you,\u201d announced the man in charge. \u201cWe were told you were kind to Tirza.\u201d Beside him, a grey-haired woman dressed in powder blue smiled benignly at him. Ben kept his face neutral and just nodded. Tirza! How he hated that girl! \u201cWe are only passing over your land; we do not intend to stop here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI have the gift of seeing,\u201d the woman intoned in a sepulchral voice. \u201cBeware! Bad things will happen to your family this week.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBad things?\u201d Ben gasped. He didn\u2019t really believe in second sight, but to hear it stated as baldly as that gave him quite a turn. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sighing and slumping down, the woman shook her head. \u201cI can see no more. Just beware!\u201d The man shook up his team and the whole caravan passed by, each one nodding his head as he passed. Ben nodded back automatically, feeling rather dazed. He watched them vanish into the distance and made a mental note to have someone check that they really had gone, and that they hadn\u2019t taken anything they shouldn\u2019t with them. Ben didn\u2019t for a single instant believe that all gypsies were thieves, but he didn\u2019t want to take any chances.<\/span><\/p>\n

By the time he reached the house again, he had dismissed the whole thing as nonsense.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cI\u2019m quite sure it\u2019s all rubbish,\u201d Ben concluded the story, without mentioning Tirza at all. \u201cBut I would like you boys to go after them and make sure that they didn\u2019t decide to borrow half the herd or all of our spare horses on the way through.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if bad things are meant to happen, Joe should stay at home,\u201d Adam jibed. He and Joe still hadn\u2019t settled their quarrel. \u201cThings are always happening to him!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re just jealous because you lead a boring life!\u201d Joe jibed back. \u201cAccidents can happen to anyone!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but they happen ta ya more often, Shortshanks,\u201d Hoss teased.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s enough,\u201d Ben reproved mildly. \u201cJust do as I ask in the morning, all right?\u201d They all knew it wasn\u2019t a question and muttered replies, although Adam and Joe kept throwing each other dark looks all evening.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

They set off in surprising amity the next morning. Joe seldom was bad tempered for long and the prospect of a couple of hours doing nothing more than riding appealed to them all. It was easy enough to track the caravan and Joe couldn\u2019t help wondering about Tirza. How glad he was now that he hadn\u2019t married her! How could he not have seen that she was crazy? Why had Pa agreed to the wedding? Joe had never liked to ask.<\/span><\/p>\n

His thoughts weren\u2019t very different from Adam and Hoss\u2019. They had both thought about Tirza the moment Ben said gypsy. Adam had barely met the girl and was more than thankful. Hoss had kept his distance, absolutely terrified that she would suddenly, and without any warning, turn into one of the creatures she kept burbling about. He\u2019d been ready to kidnap Joe and take him far away until he agreed not to marry the mad woman, but luckily, she had decided that since Joe was a tree (Hoss couldn\u2019t figure that one out, either!) and she was a fish, they really weren\u2019t suited. It seemed impolitic to throw a celebration party after she left, but Hoss surely was tempted!<\/span><\/p>\n

A sudden, capricious, gust of wind whisked Hoss\u2019 hat off his head and deposited it high in the branches of a tree. \u201cDadburnit!\u201d Hoss cursed. \u201cDad-blamed hat! How\u2019m I supposed ta git that down?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou could always ask Joe,\u201d Adam drawled. \u201cPa always used to say he was half monkey.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAt least I\u2019m not too old to climb a tree,\u201d Joe retorted, dismounting lithely and handing Hoss his rein.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe ya\u2019d better not go up there,\u201d Hoss fretted.<\/span><\/p>\n

Already a few feet from the ground, Joe looked at Hoss. \u201cWhy not?\u201d he asked, since he had spent a great many years perfecting the art of climbing trees. \u201cDon\u2019t you want your hat back?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt ain\u2019t that,\u201d Hoss denied, looking sheepish. \u201cBut what if\u2019n one o\u2019 them bad things happens an\u2019 ya fall outa the tree?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIs that all?\u201d Joe scoffed and continued to climb. It only took a few minutes for him to reach the thinner branches where Hoss\u2019 hat was resting. He stretched out to get it and the branch he was standing on creaked ominously.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d Adam warned sharply. \u201cGet out of there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAlmost got it,\u201d Joe replied, stretching even further. His fingertips brushed the edge of the hat and he leaned over slightly.<\/span><\/p>\n

The very next moment\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cDon\u2019t stop there!\u201d Candy cried and Hoss laughed, shaking his head. \u201cJoe fell out of the tree, didn\u2019t he?\u201d He glanced at Joe. \u201cDidn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Thus appealed to, Joe shook his curly head. \u201cNo, what happened was\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

With a crash, the branch Joe had been standing on splintered away from the trunk. Hoss\u2019 hat fluttered down to the ground. Adam and Hoss both lunged forward to try and catch Joe and cracked heads so forcefully that they were both knocked off their feet and saw stars for several moments.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, when they could both see clearly again, they realized that Joe was still in the tree. He had felt the branch giving way and had nimbly stepped back to safety just seconds before the branch fell. He was looking down at his brothers with a curious expression on his face. \u201cAre you all right?\u201d he called, his voice strained.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, fine!\u201d Adam assured him, climbing to his feet and rubbing his forehead, where a knot was rising. Hoss also seemed to be fine. \u201cAre you all right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Joe replied and immediately started to laugh.<\/span><\/p>\n

He laughed intermittently all the rest of the morning while they checked that the gypsies had gone and not taken anything they shouldn\u2019t. Everything appeared to be intact, so they repaired home for lunch with Joe still laughing away merrily. By the time they got back, both of Joe\u2019s older brothers would cheerfully have throttled him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even Ben\u2019s sympathy seemed rather constrained to the two, as Ben obviously thought the whole thing was funny, too. However, he doled out ice and sympathy and if he laughed himself sick out of earshot, at least he didn\u2019t do it in front of their faces.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Next morning, a load of hay was delivered to the barn and there was the usual wrangle about who was going to do which job. As ever, Joe ended up in the hayloft, guiding the bales in through the big doors, Hoss did the actual work and Adam put the hook into each bale. Hoss had never figured out how he ended up pulling the rope each time, but one day, he vowed, he would get Adam\u2019s job.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou watch you don\u2019t fall out of there, Joe,\u201d Adam warned as Joe missed bale and teetered on the edge for a second.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll try not to,\u201d Joe responded, glancing down at the drop. He wasn\u2019t that keen on heights and he never could figure out why he always ended up in the loft. \u201cAnd don\u2019t you strain your bad back positioning that hook, now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, shut up!\u201d Adam responded. He shoved the hook into another bale and stood back as Hoss hoisted it aloft.<\/span><\/p>\n

But the bale wasn\u2019t properly tied up and the rope suddenly gave way. Hay fluttered to the ground and the sudden change in weight distribution caused Hoss\u2019 pulling to lose its rhythm and the bale swung in a huge circle.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLook out, Joe!\u201d Adam cried as the bale spun crazily towards his youngest brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

Darting backwards, Joe avoided being hit, but Adam wasn\u2019t so fortunate. The bale swung back, slipped down and caught Adam in the chest, knocking him off his feet. Hoss lost his grip on the rope and sat down abruptly. \u201cAdam!\u201d Joe cried and, grabbing the rope, swung neatly to the ground.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d Ben\u2019s voice called as he came outside to see what all the shouting was about.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you all right?\u201d Joe asked, jumping onto the wagon beside his oldest brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust winded,\u201d Adam panted in reply. He\u2019d been very fortunate. He had landed flat on his back on top of the rest of the hay and the bale had broken open and scattered on top of him. He wasn\u2019t hurt.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWill you boys stop playing around out here?\u201d Ben snapped, as he saw the hay scattered all over the yard. \u201cI hadn\u2019t planned on making this your life\u2019s work, you know!\u201d He turned on his heel and went back inside.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, honest, Pa, I\u2019m quite all right,\u201d Adam assured him wryly as he got to his feet with a hand from Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Round up for branding got underway the next morning. To begin with, everything went well, but about mid-morning a familiar pattern began to reassert itself. Adam, Hoss and Joe were part of a group that were guiding in a big bunch of cows. Joe was positioned up the front, with Adam mid-way along one side and Hoss on the other.<\/span><\/p>\n

All of a sudden, one of the cows baulked at being herded and turned abruptly across in front of the others, her month old calf following closely. The cattle she cut off objected and before you could say \u2018Jack Robinson\u2019, the herd was milling about uneasily.<\/span><\/p>\n

Irritated, but not worried, Joe turned to try and start sorting out the mess. Hoss moved up a bit and went in from the other side. But the recalcitrant cow was not for turning! It began trotting back the way it had come.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDadburned cow!\u201d Hoss muttered. He sent Chubb into a lope and snapped his quirt in the cow\u2019s face. The startled animal turned, bumped solidly into Cochise and knocked Joe and the horse off their feet.<\/span><\/p>\n

Suddenly, it was absolute pandemonium! The cow that had started the whole kafuffle took off in fright, now running the way it had been traveling to begin with. The rest of the herd, not sure what was going on, but uneasy just the same, followed at a good speed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d Adam\u2019s first instinct was to check on his brother\u2019s safety, but the herd was between him and Joe, and Hoss was already right there. Instead, Adam turned his attention to slow the stampede, knowing that the men at the branding fires were in genuine danger, too.<\/span><\/p>\n

Thanks to skilful riding by the cowboys, the herd was slowed in enough time to allow them to be penned safely and securely.<\/span><\/p>\n

The moment the last cow was in the corral, Adam turned his horse and urged Sport back the way they had come. It wasn\u2019t like Adam to let his imagination get the better of him, but it kept presenting him with ever-more horrific pictures. Adam had seen men killed in stampedes before. He had seen them knocked off their horses and gored. None of the pictures was pretty.<\/span><\/p>\n

To his immense relief, he had gone no more than a few yards when he saw both his brothers riding towards him. Joe appeared to be unscathed, but it wasn\u2019t until they were all back at the fire that he had the change to check this out and discovered it was true.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow did you manage that?\u201d Adam demanded, for he would have given odds that Cochise had landed on Joe and that one or both of them had broken a leg.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMust have been my guardian angel,\u201d Joe replied lightly. \u201cOr else my flying practice is coming along nicely.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

“You never take anything seriously, do you?\u201d growled Adam, unable to show his relief in any other way. He turned away abruptly and slipped, landing heavily on his backside in a large, fresh, steaming, juicy cowpat.<\/span><\/p>\n

The howl of laughter from his younger brother convinced Adam that wherever his own guardian angel was that week, it wasn\u2019t keeping an eye on him! Snorts and sniggers of laughter came from all around and Adam then discovered that to get up, he would have to put his hands in the stuff too.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNeed a hand?\u201d enquired a voice and Adam looked up into Hoss\u2019 studiedly innocent face. He extended a hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

Grabbing it, Adam wasn\u2019t even surprised when Hoss managed to let go of him and Adam sat back down with a vengeance. The \u2018splat\u2019 sound he made spoke more than eloquently of the consistency of the thing and Adam just wanted the earth to open up and swallow him. He could feel embarrassed color burning up his neck and creeping into his cheeks.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOops, sorry,\u201d Hoss said, insincerely. Adam grasped his brother\u2019s hand once more, and this time Hoss helped him to \u2018safety\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n

By now, Joe was on his knees, arms hugging his ribs as he whooped for air. Tears poured down his cheeks. He was clearly incapable of saying anything and even the black look Adam gave him didn\u2019t dampen his hysteria.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYa\u2019ll need ta go home an\u2019 git changed,\u201d Hoss offered, his voice suspiciously quivery. \u201cOnly\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOnly what?\u201d Adam snapped, testily. He didn\u2019t see the funny side of this.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOnly, better not sit down,\u201d Hoss suggested, his blue eyes not entirely guileless. \u201cYa\u2019ll never get that muck out a the fancy bits o\u2019 yer saddle.\u201d He tried to hide the smile but his self-control failed him as Adam glared at him. The worst thing was, he reflected miserably, Hoss was right. He would have to walk home and the stuff would set hard and the smell\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was rolling on the ground kicking his feet in the air, wheezing horribly as he tried to get in enough air to continue laughing. Adam hoped he\u2019d choke, as he took his horse\u2019s rein and turned towards home. It was going to be a long, long walk\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t let him in the house?\u201d Candy gasped, looking at Ben as Joe whooped and hollered once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI could smell him coming!\u201d Ben defended himself. \u201cIf he\u2019d brought those pants into the house, you would smell them yet!\u201d He smiled. \u201cAdam was furious!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt weren\u2019t fair to laugh at him like that,\u201d Hoss admitted, soberly. Then he grinned. \u201cBut it were really funny!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you weren\u2019t even bruised?\u201d Candy asked Joe, who was wiping away tears of glee.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNope,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cNot a mark on me. I wasn\u2019t even stiff.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Come morning, Adam could see the funny side of his mishap, although he didn\u2019t think it was half as funny as the rest of his family. The only other person who didn\u2019t seem to think it was funny was Hop Sing, to whom Adam had presented the filthy pants, only to be told \u2013 in no uncertain terms \u2013 that Hop Sing wouldn\u2019t even consider washing them and how dare Mr. Adam insult him like that! He\u2019d go back to old China. The pants were quietly thrown away.<\/span><\/p>\n

With everything that had been going on, Ben was beginning to wonder if perhaps the gypsy had overheard his thoughts about Tirza and had cursed the family. Perhaps Tirza had known his thoughts about she and Joe marrying and had sent the curse after them! Nonsense! He scolded himself. It was all just coincidence.<\/span><\/p>\n

And at that moment, Hoss came down the stairs, skidded and crashed through the railing and onto the floor. \u201cHoss!\u201d Ben cried and raced over to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Too late, he realized that Hop Sing had polished the floor and been rather over-zealous. The rug beneath his feet moved as though it were alive and Ben found himself moving without moving his feet. It was horribly disconcerting!<\/span><\/p>\n

He landed with a thud on top of Hoss, who had managed to get part way to his feet, and knocked him over again. They lay there, their faces inches apart, both wide-eyed and waiting for catastrophe number three to occur.<\/span><\/p>\n

They weren\u2019t disappointed. Adam had heard the crash and dashed into the house. His feet began moving in different directions and a moment later, he crash-landed beside the rest of his family but not, luckily for Hoss, on top of them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStay there, Joe!\u201d Ben cried, hearing footsteps, but it wasn\u2019t his youngest son come to their rescue, it was the cause of all the mayhem; Hop Sing. Wordlessly, he helped Ben to his feet and then left.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you both all right?\u201d Ben asked his sons.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno,\u201d Hoss admitted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, my back,\u201d Adam groaned. Pain was shooting through his back and shoulders.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d asked Joe\u2019s voice from the doorway.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGet the doctor,\u201d Ben ordered. \u201cAnd tell him to be careful when he comes in. This floor is a death trap.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cHoss has broken his arm,\u201d Paul Martin said. \u201cAnd Adam has badly strained his back. He\u2019s going to be in bed for at least a week, Ben and to begin with, I don\u2019t want him doing anything for himself \u2013 and I mean anything!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSurely he can feed himself\u2026\u201d Ben objected, but his voice trailed off as he saw his friend shake his head firmly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNothing!\u201d he repeated. \u201cThe worst of the strain appears to be around his shoulders and moving his arms will cause him great pain. I\u2019ve given Hop Sing instructions for hot poultices and massages that will help, but for two days I don\u2019t want him doing anything for himself.\u201d He rose to leave and paused at the door. \u201cAnd that includes his bodily functions!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As the door closed behind Dr Martin, Joe swallowed an hysterical giggle with difficulty. It wasn\u2019t funny. Both his brothers were in pain and Joe knew how embarrassing it was to be helped to pee. It had happened to him more times than he cared to remember. But the thought of Adam having to accept help for that almost had him creasing up again.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam could be \u2013 and usually was \u2013 a sensitive nurse, discreetly assisting his youngest brother. But there had been times\u2026 \u201cI can help Adam,\u201d he offered but his voice gave him away, squeaking up into a higher register as he fought to control the laughter. \u201cI know all about it.\u201d He spluttered momentarily, but Ben threw him a black look that quelled the imminent hysteria for a few seconds.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s going to hate it,\u201d Ben sighed, and another squeak escaped Joe\u2019s control.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d he agreed, but he couldn\u2019t control himself any longer and gave way to a fit of laughter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not funny!\u201d Ben chastised him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know!\u201d Joe snorted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYour brother\u2019s in a lot of pain!\u201d Ben reminded him, but the suggestion of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He could just\u00a0see\u00a0the expression on Adam\u2019s face when Ben told him he wouldn\u2019t be able to do anything for himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI feel for him,\u201d Joe sniggered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe mustn\u2019t laugh,\u201d Ben tried again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cToo late,\u201d Joe chortled, and Ben let go.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cNo way!\u201d Adam declared, glaring at his father and brother. He could see nothing but sympathy on their faces, although there was a hint of something on Joe\u2019s face\u2026 He tried to sit up, but another shaft of pain shot up his back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t move!\u201d Ben chided him, with a marked lack of sympathy. \u201cYou\u2019ll just make it worse!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s only for a couple of days, Adam,\u201d Joe told him. \u201cIt\u2019s not that bad, honest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah?\u201d Adam sneered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can help,\u201d Joe offered, sincerely. \u201cI have experience at this, remember.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Suddenly, all Adam could remember were the times when he had been somewhat less than sensitive helping Joe; when he had slapped the cold porcelain under his brother\u2019s buttocks and urged him to \u201churry up\u201d. Oh lord! Peeing was bad enough, but what if he had to move his bowels? Adam closed his eyes and groaned. How much worse could this week get?\u00a0 Much worse, he thought. Much,\u00a0much\u00a0worse! Why he might get constipated and have to have an enema! Oh no!!! Bed rest, painkillers \u2013 he was doomed!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt won\u2019t be that bad,\u201d Joe told him and if Adam could have thrown something at his grinning brother, he would have!<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cWhat about you, Mr. Cartwright?\u201d Candy asked, his face alight with laughter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I had bruises on my bruises,\u201d Ben replied. \u201cIf I hadn\u2019t landed on Hoss, I might have really hurt myself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the only person who didn\u2019t have a mark on him was ma little brother,\u201d Hoss concluded. \u201cWe ain\u2019t done figgered out yet how he managed it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt was a miracle, given what else happened,\u201d Ben added.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSurely was,\u201d Joe replied, for the memory of Adam sitting in the cowpat and of being helpless in bed was one he would cherish forever.<\/span><\/p>\n

Before long, they all drifted off to their beds.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Two guardian angels had been sitting on the horns above the fireplace listening in. One was Joe\u2019s angel; the other looked after the rest of the Cartwrights. \u201cAnd you assured me you could handle keeping Joe out of trouble, too,\u201d Joe\u2019s angel sighed. \u201cWasn\u2019t exactly your best week, wasn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you were exaggerating,\u201d the other replied. \u201cBut every time I saved yours, I would sit back and sigh with relief and not pay attention to mine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry,\u201d the first angel told his companion. \u201cThe Boss knows you\u2019ve learned your lesson and I won\u2019t be getting any holidays again any time soon.\u201d He sighed. \u201cI\u2019d better go upstairs. Knowing my luck, someone is about to climb in the window and smack him on the head with a gun butt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAn angel\u2019s work is never done,\u201d the other retorted, knowing that his Cartwrights were safely in bed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or were they?<\/span><\/p>\n

*****End*****<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0A week of hilarious mishaps is recounted for Candy’s benefit. But there is one thing he can’t believe…<\/p>\n

Rated: \u00a0K \u00a0 (4,090 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":45,"featured_media":1246,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-humor","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-4-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1212,"today_views":1},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza13.jpg?fit=300%2C270&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1774,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1774","url_meta":{"origin":1195,"position":0},"title":"Clothes Make the Man (by Cheaux)","author":"Cheaux","date":"April 20, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Does a man's sartorial splendor have any bearing on events in his life? \u00a0 Rated: \u00a0K -- \u00a0WC \u00a0600","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza13.jpg?fit=300%2C270&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":189,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=189","url_meta":{"origin":1195,"position":1},"title":"A Broken Resolution (by Cheaux)","author":"Cheaux","date":"January 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Joe has every intention of keeping his New Year's resolutions, but you know what they say about good intentions. Rated: \u00a0T (945 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10167,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10167","url_meta":{"origin":1195,"position":2},"title":"This Thing of Darkness (by CwrightGirl)","author":"Cwright Girl","date":"November 30, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0 A WHIB for the episode To Die in Darkness (S9E28).\u00a0 An extension and analysis of Candy\u2019s spiral into depression and attempted suicide that hopefully offers some explanation and closure. Rating: T (for mentions of suicide) \u00a0 \u00a0Word Count: 5455 words.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/BoNaNo-Pic.jpg?fit=223%2C226&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":46991,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=46991","url_meta":{"origin":1195,"position":3},"title":"The One that Got Away (by Candyfan)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"December 22, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: When Candy brings in a murderer, the murderer escapes prison and comes looking for revenge on Candy.\u00a0 Rating and Reader Alerts: G Words:\u00a0 7,980","rel":"","context":"In "Action\/Adventure"","block_context":{"text":"Action\/Adventure","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":19255,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=19255","url_meta":{"origin":1195,"position":4},"title":"Bright Hopes (by PSW)","author":"PSW","date":"December 25, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Written for the 2018 Advent Calendar, based on the quilting prompt, Bright Hopes. Can anyone stand up to expectations? Rating: G 2,620 words","rel":"","context":"In "Writing Challenges"","block_context":{"text":"Writing Challenges","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=40"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Advent.jpg?fit=791%2C680&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Advent.jpg?fit=791%2C680&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Advent.jpg?fit=791%2C680&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Advent.jpg?fit=791%2C680&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7625,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7625","url_meta":{"origin":1195,"position":5},"title":"Birthdays and Anniversaries (by DJK)","author":"DJK","date":"May 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: A birthday and an anniversary bring memories. Rated:\u00a0 T\u00a0\u00a0 Word count:\u00a0541","rel":"","context":"In "Candy Canaday"","block_context":{"text":"Candy Canaday","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1046"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/7.jpg?fit=400%2C500&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/45"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1195"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1195\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1246"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}