{"id":12063,"date":"2014-04-27T13:59:01","date_gmt":"2014-04-27T17:59:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12063"},"modified":"2025-02-18T19:20:58","modified_gmt":"2025-02-19T00:20:58","slug":"restitution-by-barbara","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12063","title":{"rendered":"Restitution (by Barbara)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 <\/strong>Tragedy during a camping trip affects two families; why does Hoss feel he has to make restitution?<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 K\u00a0 (7,400 words)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Restitution<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBoy, howdy, I\u2019m tired.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, we put in a full day alright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was worth it though, don\u2019t ya think?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAhuh. We\u2019ve had a fruitful hunting trip.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe? What do you mean \u2013 we?\u201d Hoss protested as he settled himself in front of the campfire his brother Adam was building. \u201cAll you bagged was them scrawny hares and that ole possum.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026 I\u2026\u201d Adam fumbled defensively as he crouched to put the pot of coffee over the flames.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell nothin\u2019!\u201d Hoss interrupted \u201cI got that six point buck and I don\u2019t want you takin\u2019 credit for it neither when we get home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCredit? Me?\u201d Adam sounded coy \u2013 he placed his open palm on his chest innocently. \u201cWhy would I take credit for something that I didn\u2019t even do?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCuz, you got a way of twisting things to make you look good. That\u2019s why.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss. I can\u2019t believe you would think that of me.\u201d Adam smirked wickedly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHa!\u201d Hoss let out a doubtful chuckle at his brother\u2019s obvious show of arrogance. \u201cYou just keep the story straight older brother when we tell Pa and Little Joe. It\u2019s my deer. I shot it and I\u2019m taking all the glory for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh what a tangled web we weave,\u201d Adam said melodramatically.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two brothers relished each other\u2019s company. They sincerely enjoyed one another. Hoss was just so easy to be with. His temperament was as steady as a mountain feed stream. He was cool under pressure and was the rock of the Cartwright family \u2013 the arbitrator. Adam on the other hand could be testy at times especially with the youngest member of the clan Joseph and with his father too, but not with Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tonight was the last night of their yearly hunting trip together. They\u2019d been doing it since they were kids \u2013 every fall when the deer were at their fattest. The tradition began even before Joe was born.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Adam was nine he asked if he could take five year old Hoss on a hunting trip. It was the first of many arguments between father and son. Ben resisted but eventually gave into his eldest boy, allowing only an overnight campout \u2013 close to home. Marie, Ben\u2019s third wife, was livid with Ben\u2019s decision and insisted her stepsons were too young to be out in the wilds on their own. She was with child at the time and easily upset, especially when it came to the well being of her adopted children. She loved them as if they were her own. She doted on them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But, Ben wanted to instill confidence and individuality in his sons at an early age and found Adam at nine to be mature enough to handle just about anything. He was a trustworthy little man. So, every year since then, Adam and Hoss set out on their trek. It was their time to get reacquainted after a hard summer of working the ranch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Joseph was old enough, Adam took him to Carson City every year, a tradition he started after Marie was killed in a riding accident. It gave Ben some time to himself \u2013 time he desperately needed to grieve and reflect without having to care for a child. And, after that, Hoss and Joe started an oat-sowing journey of their own traveling to San Francisco annually to have their quality time together. They\u2019d leave Ben and Adam behind \u2013 the old folks \u2013 to pursue more youthful pursuits.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Ponderosa was a day away but Adam and Hoss could stay out under the stars indefinitely. They both loved the land and what it had to offer. Hoss reclined against a log and stared up at the sky and sighed. Adam began to cook their last supper. The twosome relaxed quietly \u2013 savoring the pristine sparkle of Lake Tahoe and the smell of the pines that surrounded them. They found themselves in Utopia.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Adam?\u201d Hoss broke the crisp evening air after several moments of silence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow many stars do you think there are?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I don\u2019t know\u2026 millions.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMillions,\u201d Hoss said mesmerized by their shear volume. \u201cSure is pretty ain\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes it is. Like diamonds on blue velvet,\u201d Adam said poetically as he gazed upward momentarily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026diamonds.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re awfully philosophical tonight. What\u2019s gotten into you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just happy, I guess. I love this place\u2026 my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled as he placed one of the rabbits he\u2019d caught onto a spit and over the fire.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow \u2018bout you, Adam? You happy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHaven\u2019t much thought about it, but I guess\u2026 I\u2019m content enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cContent\u2026 yeah that\u2019s it\u2026 content,\u201d Hoss said as he flipped onto his side and rested his head on his hand \u2013 his legs crossed casually as he chewed on a blade of grass.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d He said again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI been meaning to ask you \u2018bout somethin\u2019 for a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh? What?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss hesitated for a moment as if afraid to inquire. Adam stopped what he was doing and looked over his shoulder at his brother. He shrugged, waiting to hear what was on Hoss\u2019 mind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell?\u201d Adam probed. \u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid\u2026 did you love my Ma?\u201d Hoss blurted shyly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kind of question is that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026 I guess I\u2019ve always wondered.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned back to his chore and collected his thoughts about Inger.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell?\u201d Hoss asked with anticipation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes. I loved her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was she like?\u201d Hoss sounded far away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe was like a spring morning \u2013 new and fresh. You\u2019re very much like her, you know. You\u2019ve got her eyes. Sometimes I see her when I look at you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYa do?\u201d Hoss seemed pleased and was glad he asked. \u201cWhat about Joe\u2019s Ma?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMarie?\u201d Adam answered thoughtfully. \u201cShe was my mother, really. I never knew my own Ma and Inger died so soon after you were born. I remember Marie the best. I think of her as my mother. Yes, I loved here very much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMe too,\u201d Hoss replied candidly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy did you feel the need to ask me that Hoss? Didn\u2019t you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I did. It\u2019s been on my mind lately. I guess I just needed to hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI understand,\u201d Adam replied softly, but was a little confused by his brother\u2019s inquiries. He wondered why Hoss suddenly needed to ask about his mother and stepmother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The men fell into silence again as the meat started to sizzle. Hoss watched his older brother and realized how lucky he was to have him. And, his father and Little Joe too. They\u2019d made a wonderful life together after all their tragedy. Life was good. Hoss\u2019 stomach growled with hunger and he sat up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d He sounded impatient with all of Hoss\u2019 questions.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis was a good trip. Next year, you just might get that buck.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can count on it.\u201d Adam winked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When the boy\u2019s food was ready they ate in silence, appreciating the tastiness of rabbit cooked outdoors. They finished their evening and their yearly hunting trip with a game of gin rummy and were soon tucked into their bedrolls. An owl hooted in the distance and the crickets cried loudly. But, it was music to Hoss and Adam and they both fell asleep to the sounds of the Nevada night. Early the next morning they\u2019d return home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSleep well?\u201d Hoss asked as Adam rolled up and out of bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike a baby,\u201d he replied with the rough voice of morning.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCoffee?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOoooooh, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The brothers sat around the small fire and ate their final breakfast and chatted about the previous week of hunting. But, they were distracted by a noise that came from several yards away. It unsettled the horses and they began to dance nervously.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid you hear that?\u201d Hoss asked, slightly alarmed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. I\u2019ll go check it out. Maybe I\u2019ll get my six point buck after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Even though Hoss was a grown man and stronger than a mule train, Adam was still protective of him. Ever since Ben put him in charge on they\u2019re first outing some twenty years ago, Adam was watchful over both his younger brothers. It was his duty to see they were safe, so it was Adam who reached for his rifle and went to investigate and Hoss naturally assumed he would.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He casually walked into a thicket of bush and temporarily disappeared from Hoss\u2019 view. Hoss took a bite of bacon and stood to begin packing for the ride home. But, he was side tracked by the sudden stillness that fell over the campsite and his heart started to flutter with anxiety. It was eerie and disturbing and it filled Hoss with a feeling of dread \u2013 like something terrible was about to happen. \u201cAdam?\u201d he called out. \u201cSee anything? You all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A gunshot rang out sending a flock of crows out of the treetops \u2013 squawking loudly into the cerulean blue sky. Another moment of soundlessness sent Hoss scrambling for his gun. A roar echoed through the forest and then Adam\u2019s guttural yells for help. Hoss raced through the brush and into the thicket where he saw the largest bear he\u2019d ever seen. She had Adam pinned and was swiping her massive claws across his body.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam tried to fight her off \u2013 his rifle braced against her throat. The bear roared angrily and she tore at Adam\u2019s flesh. Hoss shot several rounds into the air to try and scare her off \u2013 afraid that if he shot at the bear he might hit Adam. But, to no avail. She continued to wrestle with Adam who was now losing strength and consciousness. Hoss had no choice but to aim and shoot.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He steadied himself and took a deep breath. He had one chance to save Adam and maybe himself. He pulled the trigger and hit the bear in the head. She died upon impact and fell in a heap over Adam\u2019s seemingly lifeless body.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss approached the gory scene cautiously making sure the bear was, in fact, dead. He pushed her off of Adam and crouched over him. He tried to wake his brother, but he was already in shock. Adam lay on his back with both arms outstretched \u2013 his lungs filling and emptying rapidly. He was bleeding badly from two horrific wounds \u2013 one to his ribcage and one to his right shoulder. Hoss ran back to the camp for blankets and first aid supplies \u2013 his adrenaline surged like a hot spring. He was engulfed by panic. But, he knew he had to keep his wits about him and tried his damnedest to stay calm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When he returned to Adam\u2019s side, Hoss was again taken aback when he realized why the bear had attacked so viciously. There, at the bear\u2019s side, were her two cubs. They sniffed at their mother, letting out pathetic cries of confusion and fear. They were very young \u2013 not more than two months old.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh no,\u201d Hoss murmured aloud.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But, he had no time to concern himself with them. He could not deal with the cubs and the fact that he\u2019d killed their mother. Not now. He had to get Adam home as soon as possible or he would simply bleed to death. Hoss dressed the wounds as best he could and wrapped Adam tightly in a blanket. He picked him up and took him back to camp.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The previous day, Adam had manufactured a sled that could be pulled behind their pack mule. It was loaded with the carcasses they\u2019d hunted. Hoss cleared the animals and prepared it to carry Adam instead. Within the hour, they were on their way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But, could Adam hold on? Could he survive the five or so hours it would take to get him to the Ponderosa? Hoss could not take time to question. He rode as hard and as fast as he could to save his brother\u2019s life. Adam\u2019s horse Sport followed instinctively. But the prized six-point buck Hoss was so enthused about was left behind to be devoured by coyotes and the other scavengers of the forest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben and Joe sat down to dinner. Hop Sing had had an easy week without Hoss around. Tonight the men were treated to a roasted chicken, potatoes, green beans and apple pie for dessert.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRoast chicken?\u201d Little Joe remarked brightly. \u201cWhat\u2019s the occasion Hop Sing?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLast day before Mr. Hoss come back home. Then I be busy again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben chuckled, well aware of how hard their cook worked to keep his middle son\u2019s stomach topped up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you\u2019ve had a well deserved holiday, haven\u2019t you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI sure have, Mr. Cartlight. Very nice\u2026 very nice,\u201d Hop Sing said as he returned the kitchen to clean up while Ben and Joe enjoyed their meal. Joe couldn\u2019t help but chortle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe boys should have been home today.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAh, don\u2019t worry, Pa. Hoss is probably still trying to land that six-point buck he\u2019s been talking about since he was knee high to a grasshopper. Every year they go out and every year Hoss comes back telling tale tales of the deer that got away. Probably no different this year,\u201d Joe figured, as he popped a fork full of potato into his mouth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir,\u201d he replied nonchalantly after swallowing the morsel.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss has never been knee high to a grasshopper.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The men laughed and continued to eat happily. But, their pleasurable evening was not to last as they were interrupted by Hoss barreling through the front door carrying Adam like a bride over a threshold. Ben and Joe leapt from the table with alarm. They had not heard them ride in and were caught off guard by Hoss\u2019 sudden entrance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d Ben asked as he crossed the room and began to follow Hoss up the stairs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe got between an ole mamma bear and her cubs. He\u2019s pretty bad off, Pa,\u201d Hoss replied out of breath and covered in trail dust and dried blood.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, send someone into town for the doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go myself, Pa,\u201d Joe answered but he was already on his way before his father gave him the order.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen did this happen?\u201d Ben inquired, now frantic.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEarly this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss carefully laid Adam onto the bed. Ben winced when he uncovered the deep gashes that cross-hashed his son\u2019s torso but was especially shaken by the open wound to Adam\u2019s side. It made Ben feel nauseous. But, he continued nonetheless, to tend to his son. Both he and Hoss did their best to make Adam comfortable.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Several hours passed before Doctor Martin arrived at the Ponderosa and took control. With Hoss acting as his nurse, Dr. Martin stitched Adam up and managed to finally stop the bleeding that so threatened Adam\u2019s life. Ben and Joe waited anxiously in the living room \u2013 concern etched on their faces.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The operation took three hours and when Hoss and the doctor wearily made their way downstairs, both Ben and Joe stood to hear the news. By the looks on their faces they feared the worst \u2013 that Adam had died.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs he\u2026.?\u201d Ben asked with dread.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s lost a lot of blood, Ben, but he\u2019s holding his own.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, thank God,\u201d Ben exhaled a guarded sigh of relief.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s got a long way to go. He\u2019ll need constant care. I\u2019m going to bring April Seaver out first thing tomorrow morning to stay with him. You\u2019ll have to prepare a room for her. She knows how to keep those wounds clean and hopefully prevent infection. But that, Ben, is highly unlikely. He\u2019s running a high fever already and that alone could be enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEnough?\u201d Ben retorted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAll I\u2019m saying, Ben, is that Adam is very ill. You should prepare yourself for the worst. We\u2019ll have to be diligent if he is going to recover.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood listening to Paul, but didn\u2019t seem to comprehend what he was being told. The thought of losing a son was terrifying \u2013 unthinkable. His throat dried up completely. He tried to swallow but was choked by the dryness. The blood drained from his face giving him a tone of gray. He wanted to be sick. He felt Joe\u2019s hand grip his shoulder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be back in the morning with April,\u201d Dr. Martin instructed, \u201cBut, you\u2019ll need to have someone at his side tonight. Try to keep him cool and as comfortable as you can. A few prayers wouldn\u2019t hurt either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll take care of him, Paul. Thank you so much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After Dr. Martin left the house, Ben turned to Hoss and Joe and told them to go to bed. They resisted but eventually took their father\u2019s advice. Hoss was exhausted anyway. He walked slowly to his room deflated, worried and guilt-ridden. He sat on the edge of his bed and his eyes flooded with tears \u2013 the day\u2019s events hitting him like a kick to the gut. He said a silent prayer for Adam. He feared his brother would not survive the night. But, as concerned as he was for him, Hoss couldn\u2019t seem to come to terms with orphaning the cubs. The sound of their whimpers echoed in his head, haunting him. He lowered the lamplight and spent the rest of the night deep in thought \u2013 on his side, staring at the wall. It wasn\u2019t until early morning that he finally succumbed to sleep.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stayed at Adam\u2019s side. He pulled up a chair next to his bed and prepared a cold cloth for his forehead. Adam\u2019s left eye was swollen \u2013 a claw mark stretched across its lid. He breathed laboriously through his mouth and it sounded like he was drowning in mud. His skin was the color of stone that shone with dew.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben leaned his elbows on the edge of the bed and clasped his fingers together tightly. He tapped his knuckles against his brow. He began to pray and he didn\u2019t stop until the break of dawn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The ranch house was cast with a blanket of mauve-colored light. The stillness of early morning seemed unnerving now. Even the birds that usually greeted the day boisterously were silent. It was like they sensed the death that hung in the air waiting to swoop down onto its prey. Adam held it at bay\u2026 for now.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dr. Martin returned to the Ponderosa, accompanied by April Seaver as promised. She relieved Ben of his overnight vigil and ordered him to get some rest. Ben reluctantly tried but couldn\u2019t. As he walked down the upper hallway \u2013 its creaking floorboards echoing through the quietness of the house, he checked into Joe\u2019s room to find his youngest son still in bed. He also peered into Hoss\u2019 room. It was empty. Ben went downstairs to get some coffee.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There he found Hoss sitting on the table in front of the fireplace. His elbows rested on his knees with his clenched fists propping up his face by the cheeks. He stared blankly into the dying flames.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid you get some sleep son?\u201d the doctor inquired as he placed his hand on the back of Hoss\u2019 broad neck.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam seems better this morning. He\u2019s got some color in his face at least. April will take good care of him.\u201d Ben glanced up the stairs as he assured Hoss. \u201cHe\u2019s going to be fine. You\u2019ll see.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know he will be Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome on. Let\u2019s get some coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI cain\u2019t leave them baby cubs up there to die. I killed their Ma and I gotta go and get \u2019em. It ain\u2019t fair that they have to suffer. They\u2019ll starve to death without her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Hoss. There\u2019s nothing you can do for those cubs,\u201d Ben said dumbfounded. \u201cMother nature is just going to have to take its course.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened to them ain\u2019t got nothin\u2019 to do with nature. Their Ma was just tryin\u2019 to protect them. She didn\u2019t know Adam wasn\u2019t going to hurt her babies. She just did what she had to do. I just cain’t live with myself if I don\u2019t go up there and get them cubs.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you going to do with them, son?\u201d Ben implored. \u201cWhat are you going to do with two wild bear cubs?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d Hoss sounded at a loss \u2013 his despair obvious.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere ain\u2019t nothin\u2019 more I can do for Adam. It\u2019s all up to him now. He\u2019s strong Pa. It just ain\u2019t his time to go\u2026 I can feel it. It ain\u2019t time for them cubs neither. Last night I thought Adam was done for. But, today I know different. And, today\u2019s the day I gotta make the trip back to where me and Adam camped last night\u2026 to save them cubs.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWill you at least take Joe with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d rather go on my own if it\u2019s alright with you, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben thought a moment. He shook his head still unconvinced that Hoss could do anything for the animals.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s a good idea for you to rescue those cubs; I really don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m goin\u2019 to. I\u2019m goin\u2019 back up there. I\u2019m sorry, Pa, but I just got to.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gave in. He realized that the cub\u2019s survival and Adam\u2019s were somehow intertwined. At least they were to Hoss. He gave him his blessing and allowed Hoss to seek the restitution he so desperately needed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss awoke the next morning before the sun. The night before he concocted a formula of milk and cod liver oil for the cubs to nurse on and packed for his trek back into the woods. Everything from beef jerky to extra blankets was loaded onto the mule. He wasn\u2019t sure how long he would be, so he took as much as he could.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On his way out, he stopped to check in on Adam. There, in the purple haze of predawn, was April Seaver. She sat beside Adam\u2019s bed knitting quietly \u2013 her sweet, young face glowing like a cherub’s in the soft lamplight. April looked up at Hoss and smiled reassuringly. It was a tender smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was more comfortable now. But, his fever still held him under its spell. He lay on his back \u2013 his bare arms twitching periodically, reacting to abstract dreams. The steady sound of his breathing wafted through the air like a fall breeze but the shadow of death still lingered there. It seemed to haunt the place with its dark shroud.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss entered the room and crept across the hardwood, being careful not to disturb his brother. He placed his massive palm on Adam\u2019s forehead. \u201cI\u2019m goin\u2019 to save them cubs Adam. And, when I come back, you\u2019ll be good as new,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss straightened up and turned toward the door, but not before giving April a grateful wink. She grinned back and then watched the big man leave the room. She heard him walk down the stairs and then a few moments later the front door peacefully opening and then closing. Then the muffled sound of hooves that eventually faded into the distance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The air was cool \u2013 refreshingly so. Hoss guided Chub out of the valley and back into the hills where he and Adam had hunted the week before. Hoss reflected on his annual trip with his brother as he moved in and out of the shadows of the pine trees that soared upward. Glints of bright sunlight splashed on and off his face like a theatre spot light giving Hoss the feeling of aliveness; a complete contrast to the trauma and distress of the previous few days. It felt good.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By early evening he was back at the site. The animals they\u2019d killed, including the six-point buck, were gone \u2013 dragged off by wolves or coyotes to feast on. Nothing went to waste out here.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before setting up camp, Hoss immediately walked into the thicket Adam passed through two days before and began the hunt for the bear\u2019s den. Being wilderness savvy, Hoss knew the most probably places a bear might call home and probed around the bushes in the near vicinity of where he\u2019d last seen the cubs. Nothing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss continued for several hours before he returned to base camp to set up shop. He unloaded the mule and removed Chubb\u2019s tack and got both animals fed, watered and settled. He started a fire and pulled out several roast beef sandwiches that Hop Sing had packed for him. He devoured them with pleasure.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Light was now fading and Hoss wanted to do one more search before he called it a night. He wiped his hands on his thighs and, this time, took another direction. He walked down to the mountain stream that fed Lake Tahoe. It was there that he heard them; that dry, high-pitched sound of young bears. He walked toward their cries until he came upon a hollow log. He peered inside and was happy to see the two cubs nestled inside. The sight of them lit up his face like a child at a birthday party.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere you are,\u201d Hoss said softly. \u201cDidn\u2019t you know I was lookin\u2019 fur ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It took some doing, but Hoss was successful in prying the cubs from their hideout. He picked them up and tucked one under each arm and returned to camp. They were tired, hungry and as scared as two baby bears could be.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you worry, little fellers. Ol\u2019 Hoss has got you now and you don\u2019t need to worry about a thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He fed them the formula from an old wine bottle and they drank it like it was going out of style.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m real sorry I had to kill your Ma. Real sorry,\u201d Hoss explained as he watched them down their dinners. \u201cWe\u2019ll figure out what to do. I ain\u2019t goin\u2019 to let you boys die neither. My Ma died too, when I was about your age. And, look at me. I\u2019m fine. But, I had my Pa and brothers to help me and all you two have is each other. Well, you got me now\u2026 Hoss will take good care of you. Don\u2019t you worry none. Don\u2019t you worry about a dang thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Several weeks passed without any word from Hoss. Adam was doing well. He still spent most of his time in bed though, but was encouraged by the doctor to get up as much as he could tolerate.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The healing wounds were now itchy and closing nicely. But, the combination of his inactivity and the physical struggle with the bear made it difficult to get around. The pain and stiffness he felt in his muscles was somewhat debilitating. He felt as if he\u2019d been trampled in a stampede. That the doctor assured, was normal and the sooner Adam bit the bullet and got back to his daily routine the better.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Beside his physical discomfort, Adam was also plagued by nightmares. He dreamt of being skinned alive by a hideously deformed bear that chased him through the forest. Running breathlessly over the under brush, Adam was being jolted awake by his own shouts of fright. With cold sweat rolling off the end of his nose and rivering down the sides of his face, Adam tried desperately to decelerate his pounding heart and get back to sleep. Ben would peer through his son\u2019s door alarmed by Adam\u2019s yells for help. Night after night it was the same thing. Over and over\u2026 running for his life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Despite his fatigue and lack of energy, Adam decided that today was the day. He pulled himself out of bed and laboriously dressed himself in his familiar all black ensemble. He made his way, gingerly, down into the living room where Ben and Joe sat at the breakfast table awaiting their eggs. Adam had noticeably lost weight and was still weak but he put on a brave face. He held his side as he descended the stairs\u2026 slowly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d Ben exhaled cheerfully, \u201cwhat do you think you\u2019re doing young man?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m coming down for breakfast. What does it look like I\u2019m doing?\u201d Adam replied sharply trying to hide a wince.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cActually, it looks like you\u2019re walking on broken glass,\u201d Joe quipped drolly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat, younger brother, might be more pleasurable,\u201d Adam replied with a painful smirk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben rose from his chair and approached Adam to give support.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no.\u201d Adam held out his free hand to wave off any aid. \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Pa. I\u2019m all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The threesome sat down to breakfast and began their usual banter. They discussed Adam\u2019s recovery and the fact that his appetite had not yet returned. The doctor assured it would in good time. Everything seemed somewhat back to normal. But, there was a missing wheel on this apparently homogenous cart. They all felt it but avoided talk of the missing brother and son. It seemed taboo until; finally, Adam broke the ice. \u201cAny word from Hoss?\u201d he murmured knowing full well that there hadn\u2019t been.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d came Ben\u2019s simple reply.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, don\u2019t you think we should go out and get him?\u201d Adam offered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll be back in due time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Pa. It\u2019s been almost a whole month. He might be\u2026 well, I just think we should go out and look for him. Make sure he\u2019s okay,\u201d Adam reiterated.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYOU aren\u2019t going anywhere. YOU are staying right here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Pa, I\u2019m fine. Doc says I\u2019ve got to get out and about.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes. Out and about around here, not riding into the mountains,\u201d Ben ordered. \u201cBesides, Hoss seemed to need some time for himself. The night before he left he sounded like he had some unfinished business. Like he needed atonement for something. Exactly, what that is, I\u2019m not sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s funny you say that Pa, because the night before I was\u2026\u201d Adam hesitated, and then purposefully redirected his point away from the bear attack. \u201cWell, the night before we came home he was asking me about his mother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cInger?\u201d Ben retorted quizzically. He put down his utensils so he could fully focus on the conversation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes. He asked me how I felt about her and what she was like. I thought it was strange because it came out of nowhere. He said he\u2019d been wanting to ask me about her for a long time. He asked about Joe\u2019s Ma too.\u201d He pointed at his younger brother with his fork.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh really?\u201d Ben said intrigued by his middle son\u2019s inquisition.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI told him he was just like Inger. He seemed pleased about that,\u201d Adam explained as he peered down at his full plate and began playing with the food instead of eating it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think he somehow relates what happened to him as a baby to what happened to the cubs?\u201d Joe proclaimed innocently unaware of his insight.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stopped chewing and looked at Joe, surprised at his depth. Adam was also flabbergasted at his youngest sibling\u2019s revelation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt could be,\u201d Ben affirmed. \u201cHe certainly was bound and determined to rescue them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s very perceptive of you Joe,\u201d Adam remarked still astonished. \u201cThat could be it and Hoss may not even realize it. I\u2019ve been reading a lot about the subconscious lately. There\u2019s a doctor in Europe who is doing studies on it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSubconscious? What\u2019s that Adam?\u201d Joe asked as he noisily crunched into a piece of toast.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s psychology Joe. It\u2019s a new theory. The subconscious is when you do something and you\u2019re not aware of it. Like Hoss needing to save those cubs. He\u2019s not really sure why he has to save them but he just has to. It\u2019s his subconscious telling him to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure I do either, Joe. It\u2019s quite complex. It\u2019s a concept that has the medical profession talking.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know he\u2019s been acting real strange the last couple of months,\u201d Joe said to no one in particular after pondering Adam\u2019s premise. \u201cNow it all seems to be falling into place.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFalling into place?\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. A couple of months ago he was talking to me about my mother. Came out of nowhere just like Adam said. I didn\u2019t really pay any attention then. But, now, after hearing about sub\u2026 what is it again Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe subconscious.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, the subconscious\u2026 it\u2019s starting to make sense\u2026 I think.\u201d Joe didn\u2019t sound sure.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, this is a strange turn of events,\u201d Ben said as he clasped his hands together. \u201cWhat do you suppose brought all this on?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure Pa, but this thing with the cubs might have triggered it,\u201d Adam analyzed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh. How so?\u201d Ben inquired.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, obviously Hoss has been curious about his past. For some reason, he\u2019s been asking us about our relationships with his and Joe\u2019s mother. He might be questioning his relationship with them. I mean he\u2019s like me, right? He never knew his own Ma. Remember, I went through that stage a couple years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes. I remember. Your soul-searching trip to Mexico.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRight. I think it\u2019s perfectly natural for Hoss to question who he is and where he came from. Now\u2019s just his time is all. And the bears could be his ticket. You know how he is when it comes to animals,\u201d Adam summarized. \u201cHe relates to them better than most people.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all too complicated for me,\u201d Ben shook his head. \u201cBut, I didn\u2019t have the hardships you boys had when I was a boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d Joe piped up. \u201cAnd you know what they say Pa \u2013 you can\u2019t judge a man until you\u2019ve walked a mile in his boots. Or something like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Again, Ben and Adam peered quizzically at the youngest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d Adam pointed, \u201cI couldn\u2019t have said it better myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After a relatively easy day of work, which consisted of grooming Sport, reading a little more on psychology and updating the Ponderosa\u2019s financial statements, Adam went to bed. He\u2019d been under the watchful eye of his father the whole day. Ben tried not to be too conspicuous and Adam allowed his father to indulge in parental concern. Even though the day\u2019s load was light, Adam still found it difficult to do the simplest things. He was frustrated by his slow recovery but told himself that he\u2019d have to be patient.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He lay in bed with his hands clasped behind his head. He stared at the ceiling \u2013 not really looking at anything. He couldn\u2019t help but analyze the situation and compare what happen to the cubs to what happened to him and Hoss as children. It was all too familiar.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam decided then and there that he would awake early the next morning and go out looking for his brother. They both needed the healing the cubs could bring. For Adam, hopefully an end to his horrible nightmares and for Hoss \u2013 closure to dealing with the death of his mother\u2026 a mother he never knew; a mother who abandoned him through no fault of her own. Hoss needed to come to terms with orphaning the cubs just like he\u2019d been orphaned some twenty-five years before.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam realized that he was the only one who could help Hoss and he planned to do it alone. He knew he would pay the price when his father found out he\u2019d gone against his wishes but it was a price Adam was willing to pay. It was something he felt he owned his little brother. He\u2019d bring him home, and only then could they continue with their lives.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam closed his eyes hesitantly, seemingly fearful of slumber \u2013 afraid the nightmares would return. But, he could not stay conscious any longer and was soon envelopingly fearful of slumber \u2013 afraid the nightmares would return. But, he could not stay conscious any longer and was soon enveloped by a dark world of grizzly phantoms. It was a world he hoped he could soon tame. When he found Hoss, he assured himself, it would all be over and both of them could then find freedom \u2013 freedom from guilt and freedom from fear.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

The air was cool \u2013 refreshingly so. Adam guided Sport out of the valley and back into the hills where he and Hoss had hunted the week before. Adam reflected on his annual trip with his brother as he moved in and out of the shadows of the pine trees that soared upward. Glints of bright sunlight splashed on and off his face like a theatre spot light giving Adam the feeling of aliveness; a complete contrast to the trauma of the previous weeks. For the first time since the attack, Adam felt good.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He arrived at the camp by early evening. Hoss had obviously set up house there, but was nowhere in sight. His horse Chubby grazed in a near by field. Adam dismounted and walked toward the fire pit. He knelt down, wincing slightly as he went, and felt the embers for heat but there was none.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHOSS!\u201d Adam shouted. \u201cHOSS? Where are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Within seconds his brother appeared from between the trees like a mirage. He carried a trout the size of a loaf of bread. He was barefoot. He\u2019d grown a beard and smiled warmly though it when he laid eyes on Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHeeeeeey. Where\u2019d you come from, older brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing sent me,\u201d Adam smirked as he rose to his feet, letting out a muffled groan. \u201cHe\u2019s lost his reason for livin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHuh,\u201d Hoss chortled. \u201cHow is everybody?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWorried about you, ya big lump. When you coming home?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d Adam said smartly. \u201cAh\u2026 Hop Sing sent along more supplies. Well, to be honest, he doesn\u2019t know about it. No one does. As a matter, when Pa finds out I\u2019m gone, he\u2019s going to want to tan my hide.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWouldn\u2019t be the first time.\u201d Hoss quipped.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silence fell over the camp as the pair squared each other up. There was a slight feeling of awkwardness between them \u2013 Hoss curious as to why Adam had come and Adam, wondering if Hoss had found the peace he\u2019d set out to find.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo, how you feeling? Last time I saw you, you were sicker than the first time we got Little Joe drunk. Remember that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure do,\u201d Adam laughed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat was good fun, wasn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure was,\u201d Adam replied devilishly, still chuckling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss couldn\u2019t hold himself back any longer. He approached his brother and hugged him tightly \u2013 thankful he was alive and on the mend.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey, hey,\u201d Adam protested as he gritted his teeth and seethed. \u201cI may look well-healed but I\u2019m still a little sore. Take it easy will ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Adam,\u201d Hoss gushed, \u201cI\u2019m just so glad\u2026 well, I\u2019m just happy to see you\u2019re up and around is all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks. So am I, believe me. So, ah\u2026 where are the cubs?\u201d Adam asked as he peered around the perimeter of the camp wearily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, they\u2019re around.\u201d Hoss said nonchalantly, like they were merely children out playing. \u201cHow about some coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSounds good.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get a fire going.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The twosome sat around the stone-rimmed pit and waited for the coffee to brew. Adam was a little on edge about bears being in the vicinity. He fidgeted and spied the forest for any movement.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou okay, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. Yeah, I\u2019m fine. I\u2019m ah\u2026 I\u2019m just a little worried about those bears.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing to worry about. They\u2019ll come into camp when they\u2019re hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s exactly what I\u2019m afraid of,\u201d Adam emphasized with raised eyebrows.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAhhh. I won\u2019t let them hurt \u2019cha.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The words barely left Hoss\u2019 lips, when the cubs wandered casually into the circle. Adam stood and readied himself in case he had to run but was calmed by his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all right. Just don\u2019t make any sudden moves.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEasy for you to say,\u201d Adam said as he stepped up on the stump he\u2019d been sitting on.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, Adam, them bears can climb trees so I don\u2019t think standing on that stump is going to do you any good.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh. Yeah,\u201d Adam responded feeling silly. He didn\u2019t even realize he had taken refuge up there. He got down and stood semi-behind Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow are my baby boys tonight?\u201d Hoss greeted his furry friends. \u201cDo you want you\u2019re supper? Well, come on then. Let\u2019s get it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The bears let out gravely growls and followed Hoss to a feeding station he\u2019d set up for them. Adam watched them as they passed right in front of him. He shuffled nervously away from them. The bears were smaller than he expected but that didn\u2019t ease his fears. Chubb was used to them but Sport danced anxiously and Adam had to reassure him. The smell of the cubs flashed him back to the attack. His uneasiness swelled. He watched Hoss feed them and then, much to Adam\u2019s relief, they left as calmly as they had arrived.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI only held them once,\u201d Hoss commented when he returned to the campfire and picked up his coffee cup. \u201cThat first day when I found them. I haven\u2019t touched them since.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah. How come?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey gotta stay wild, Adam. That\u2019s the only way they can survive. I\u2019ll take care of \u2018em til they can take care of themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd when will that be?\u201d Adam asked skeptically as he sipped his coffee \u2013 never taking his eyes off the bears until they were completely out of sight.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does that mean\u2026 soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIn a couple weeks. Then I\u2019ll come home and come back to see how they\u2019re makin\u2019 out. I\u2019ll have to wean them off me slowly. Ah\u2026 they\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd, what about you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMe? What do you mean Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHave you figured it out yet?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFigured out what?\u201d Hoss said as he began to scale his fish.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy you had to save those cubs.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know why,\u201d Hoss replied bluntly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou do?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, go ahead.\u201d Adam probed. \u201cTell me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI killed they\u2019re Ma. I\u2019m responsible for them cubs.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnything else?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know why Adam,\u201d Hoss insisted. He seemed almost angry at his brother\u2019s inquisition and seemed somewhat frightened to explain.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTell me,\u201d Adam said again patiently knowing Hoss was far more intelligent and insightful then people gave him credit for.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss thought for a moment and then stopped preparing the trout. He looked up into the pines and took in a deep breath of the crisp, Nevada air. Then he continued with his fish and spoke as he scaled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThem cubs are just like you and me when we were kids Adam. We both lost our Ma\u2019s. You never knew your Ma and I never knew mine. The only difference between them and us is we had our Pa to take care of us. So, I had to be their Pa. It\u2019s as simple as that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam just smiled at his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Hoss asked as he slipped his knife down the belly of the trout.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHere I was thinking I\u2019d have to explain the irony of all this so I could bring you home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe what?\u201d Hoss scrunched his face quizzically.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind. Let\u2019s fry up that fish. I\u2019m starved.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

EPILOGE<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Several days later, both Adam and Hoss returned to the Ponderosa. Adam received the tongue-lashing from his father that he expected and deserved. But, Ben could not stay upset for long. He was glad to have his family back together. He loved his three boys so much and having them all sit around the dinner table that night was the most precious gift he could have ever received.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To his father\u2019s delight, Adam cleared his plate and asked for seconds. Hoss entertained his family with tales of his experiences with the cubs topping it off with Adam\u2019s climb atop the stump to get away from them. This antic dote set the men into fits of laughter \u2013 laughter that caused Adam great pain to his still tender ribcage. But, it was worth it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Every week for the next few months, Hoss would return to check on the bears. Eventually, his trips became less and less until the bears could fend for themselves. His success with them was a source of great pride to Hoss. Ben couldn\u2019t help be see Inge in him. It was exactly what she would have done and Ben told him so.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All three boys would always wonder about their respective mothers and what it would have been like to know them. They\u2019d have to rely on their father for stories and remembrances they always had. But, now, both Adam and Hoss seemed content as to their relationships with Elizabeth and Inger. They\u2019d come to terms with it finally. Even though their closure was due to tragic circumstances, they both received what they hadn\u2019t thought.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*****End*****<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 Tragedy during a camping trip affects two families; why does Hoss feel he has to make restitution?<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 K\u00a0 (7,400 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":113,"featured_media":9860,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[14,15,17,16],"class_list":["post-12063","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-ben","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1557,"today_views":1},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/feature-4.jpg?fit=387%2C387&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":919,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=919","url_meta":{"origin":12063,"position":0},"title":"Physics 101 (by the Tahoe Ladies)","author":"Tahoe Ladies","date":"August 19, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Adam becomes the 'butt' of a joke... 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Rating:\u00a0 K+\u00a0 (775 word) A Modern Cartwright Story Series, links to stories within the series are included.","rel":"","context":"In "Alternate Universe"","block_context":{"text":"Alternate Universe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15871,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15871","url_meta":{"origin":12063,"position":3},"title":"Never, Ever Mess With His…..? 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