{"id":12092,"date":"2002-11-22T08:56:27","date_gmt":"2002-11-22T13:56:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12092"},"modified":"2026-01-20T15:52:36","modified_gmt":"2026-01-20T20:52:36","slug":"a-night-of-reflection-by-debbieb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12092","title":{"rendered":"A Night of Reflection (by DebbieB)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0<\/strong> With a snowstorm coming and his sons late in getting home, Ben reflects back on his life and the three wives that bore him, his sons.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/strong> G (6,000 words)<\/p>\n

A Night of Reflection<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ben backed up as close as he dared to the fireplace, warming his backside.\u00a0 His hands were folded together behind him, the palms turned outward toward the fire, as he felt his body shiver. Burr\u2026he thought, the weather sure had changed quickly and he worried that his sons might not make it back from the outer pastures before the snowfall began.<\/p>\n

Giving himself several minutes to knock the chill from his body, Ben walked slowly to the front door and opened it, peeking out into the darkness in hopes of seeing his sons come riding into the yard.\u00a0 With his lips pinched tightly closed, Ben shut the door and glanced up at the old grandfather clock, eight p.m. it chimed, just as Ben\u2019s eyes looked at the face of the old time piece.\u00a0 Worry began to seep into every pore in his body; he could not understand why his sons were this late.\u00a0 It was much later than he had even expected, for he had judged that all three would have made it home at least by six, but apparently that didn\u2019t seem to be the case.\u00a0 At least it hadn\u2019t started to snow yet, with any luck they could still make it before the dreaded snow started to cover the frozen ground.\u00a0 Ben knew that once it began, it would cling to the ice crystals that had already started to form from the rain that had fallen earlier in the day, leaving the ground wet, and then as the temperature dropped, the dampness had begun to freeze.<\/p>\n

Ben sighed deeply, glanced once more at the clock and returned to the fire, where he grabbed the poker and jabbed at the already blazing fire.\u00a0 Bored with that, Ben leaned into the warmth thereof, and rubbed his hands together once again.\u00a0 Ben could not help but smile to himself; he was as bad as an old mother hen he snickered softly.\u00a0 Here he was worrying after his three grown sons as if they were still small boys, and Ben laughed again, this time in earnest.<\/p>\n

The elder Cartwright moved from the hearth to his favorite red leather chair and lowered his weary body into the soft comforts crossing his legs as he settled in.\u00a0 Ben reached for his pipe and his Virginia Blend pipe tobacco and began preparing for his smoke, giving another quick glance at the face of the clock, eight-forty five.\u00a0 Where were those boys, he wondered.<\/p>\n

Ben finished his pipe and set it aside, making sure that the tiny flame that burned was out and allowed his head to loll back against the headrest of the leather chair.\u00a0 The room had grown warm, and slowly, unaware even to Ben, his eyelids gradually began to droop.\u00a0 Within minutes the patriarch of the Ponderosa was sleeping soundly.<\/p>\n

\u201cPapa\u2026Papa!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben bolted from his slumber and jumped from his bed, grabbing his robe as he headed for the door.\u00a0 He managed to slip his arm into the last sleeve as he pushed opened the heavy door to his youngest son\u2019s room.\u00a0 Quickly he raised the wick in the lamp that had been left burning low, and brought more light into the dim room.<\/p>\n

Little Joe was tossing and turning on the bed, he had nearly scooted himself to the edge and Ben reached out to grab him as Joe twisted once again, almost falling.<\/p>\n

\u201cPapa\u2026Papa,\u201d cried the little six year old as his father gathered him lovingly into his strong arms.<\/p>\n

\u201cShh\u2026sweetheart, your papa\u2019s got you now.\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong darling?\u00a0 Were you dreaming again?\u201d soothed Ben, wiping the huge tears from his tiny son\u2019s face and cradling the boy close to his chest.<\/p>\n

Joe nodded his head up and down and then swiped the back of his hand across the front of this face.\u00a0 \u201cUh hm,\u201d he muttered.\u00a0 \u201cWhen\u2019s my mama comin\u2019 home, Papa?\u201d he asked and then looked into his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath and seeing the sad expression in his youngest son\u2019s eyes, sighed deeply, \u201cSon, I thought that you already understood why your mama wouldn\u2019t be coming home.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you remember precious, what I told you about what happens when someone dies?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir, but\u2026well, I thought if Mama, loved me enough, she\u2019d wanna come back here, and be wif me and you and Hoss and Adam.\u00a0 Don\u2019t her love us anymore, Papa?\u201d cried Little Joe as he buried his tiny cherub like face into the front of his father\u2019s dressing gown.<\/p>\n

Ben placed a loving hand against the side of Joe\u2019s head, forcing the curly headed boy\u2019s firmly against his heart.\u00a0 \u201cOf course she loves you, she loved all of us sweetheart.\u00a0 You must always remember that, son.\u00a0 And you must always remember that she didn\u2019t leave us because she wanted too.\u00a0 She had an accident, a terrible, terrible accident that took her from us.\u00a0 Things like that happen son, we don\u2019t always know why, nor do we ever understand why someone as loving and caring as your mama, has to be taken from those that love her, but it happens son.\u00a0 Death is part of living, and to live, one must one day die.\u00a0 It\u2019s the way that God planned things, so that He could have people like your mama, up in heaven with Him.\u00a0 It makes those of us left behind, more willing to be what God wants us to be, so that we can see our loved ones again some day,\u201d Ben explained to the small child who had suddenly grown quiet.<\/p>\n

\u201cPapa, will I see my mama again someday?\u00a0 Do ya promise me?\u201d asked Little Joe, glancing up into his father\u2019s slightly whiskered face.<\/p>\n

\u201cI promise you, Little Joe, you be a good boy and yes, someday you will see your sweet mama again, we all will, of that I am sure,\u201d smiled Ben and then leaned down and placed a kiss on top of the curly mass of dark, soft curls.<\/p>\n

\u201cPapa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it precious?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes, I can\u2019t remember what my mama looks like,\u201d Joe began to sniff his nose.\u00a0 \u201cWhat will happen when I die and go to heaven and can\u2019t remember which angel is my mama?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh Joseph, please don\u2019t worry, your mama will know you.\u00a0 She will watch over you everyday of your life until your time comes to go to heaven, and she will know, have no fear of that,\u201d smiled Ben, fighting to hold back his own tears.<\/p>\n

Ben stretched his arm out to the night table next to Little Joe\u2019s bed and took the tiny-framed cameo picture into his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou hold this son, it\u2019s your mama\u2019s picture.\u00a0 That way you will always have her close by and when you get frightened about forgetting what she looked like, you just carry this with you, next to your heart, and then you will always remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben placed the miniature frame into his son\u2019s equally tiny hand and folded his strong fingers about his son\u2019s, both of them clinging to the image of the woman whom they had loved and adored.<\/p>\n

Joe nestled deeply into his father\u2019s chest, the steady thumping sound of Ben\u2019s heart soothing the boy until at last, Joe had fallen back to sleep.\u00a0 Ben held the wee boy within the folds of his arms for a long time before rising carefully and placing the sleeping child back into his bed, taking the small framed picture and placing it back on the table.\u00a0 Ben gazed lovingly into the face that smiled back at him from the portrait and returned the smile.<\/p>\n

Tenderly, Ben pulled the covers up around his son, tucking them securely about the petite form, and leaned down, placed a kiss on the still, tear-dampened cheek and walked to the window.\u00a0 Ben pulled back the curtain and gazed out into the darkness.\u00a0 The sky was clear, the stars twinkled and Ben smiled when he spied the shooting star that blazed its fiery trail across the heavens.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood night, Marie, my love,\u201d he whispered, allowing the heavy winter drapes to fall back into place before moving to the door and glancing one last time at the little one who had found his thumb and who seemed contented at last.<\/p>\n

The old grandfather clock chimed, it\u2019s tone ringing loudly within the hollow walls of the empty house and jarring Ben from his slumber.\u00a0 Ben raised his head and gazed at the face of on the clock, noting the late hour.\u00a0 Ten, much too late for his sons to still be out, thought the concerned father as he pulled himself from his chair and hurried to the door.<\/p>\n

When the door was pulled opened, a blast of cold air blew about Ben\u2019s legs and feet, making him to shiver suddenly and quickly he closed the door.\u00a0 There was not even a lamp burning low in the barn, which only meant that his sons had not yet returned.\u00a0 It had begun to snow lightly and Ben feared that the coming storm would hit hard, forcing the boys to have to find shelter until the storm passed.\u00a0 Ben shrugged his shoulders and shook his head back and forth.\u00a0 He had been against Adam\u2019s idea that they go traipsing off so late in the afternoon, just to check on a few strays.\u00a0 His son had known as well as he that the storm was brewing, that it was very likely that the full force would be down on their heads before they all had half a chance to get back home safely.<\/p>\n

What was it about his oldest that always drove him so, that always seemed to push the boy into doing things his own way?\u00a0 Adam was stubborn, bullheaded, once setting his mind to something; he was near impossible to change.\u00a0 Ben smothered a laugh, others had always commented on how much Adam reminded them of him, when he was younger, and so surmised the father, it must rightly be so.<\/p>\n

Ben stoked his fire once again and returned to his chair.\u00a0 He picked up his Bible that he had left lying on the wide boarded table in front of the settee and flipped through the pages.\u00a0 His fingers found the middle section where all the births and deaths of loved ones had been recorded and stopped to stare at the pages.\u00a0 The births made his heart to smile; the deaths seemed to wipe away part of the joy that the births of his sons had rendered to his heart.\u00a0 But Ben understood that had it not been for each of this three young wives, there would have never been an Adam, Hoss or Little Joe.<\/p>\n

Ben closed the book, holding it firmly in his lap as he permitted his head to return to the back cushion that supported his neck, and closed his eyes.\u00a0 The clock chimed again, it was now ten thirty.\u00a0 Ben, though he tried to keep from closing his eyes, could not stop them from shutting, and soon he was sleeping again.<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright! Mr. Cartwright!\u00a0 You better come quickly, the baby, it\u2019s time,\u201d his friend yelled from the doorway of the shop.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s head bolted upright and he smiled at his customer who stood on the opposite side of the counter from him, a startled look on his confused face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy wife\u2019s having a baby,\u201d Ben beamed proudly as he hurried to untie his apron and slip into his coat.<\/p>\n

The customer smiled back at the proprietor of the little sailing shop and wished him well as Ben rushed from the building and quickly toward his home.\u00a0 As he pushed the door opened, Ben could hear the soft mewing sounds coming from the upstairs bedroom and rushed up the stairs, taking them two at a time.<\/p>\n

Elizabeth lay buried among the thick pile of blankets.\u00a0 Ben noted the tiny beads of water that dotted her brow as he lowered himself into the chair next to her bed and reached for her hand.\u00a0 Elizabeth turned, smiling happily at her handsome husband.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello darling,\u201d she smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh Elizabeth\u2026are you all right?\u201d asked the soon to be father, as he leaned down and placed a kiss tenderly on his true love\u2019s lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine Benjamin\u2026OH!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2026what\u2019s wrong?\u201d Ben nearly shouted as another pain caused his wife to press her lips tightly and closed her eyes to the discomfort.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh silly man\u2026it\u2019s just your son,\u201d Elizabeth forced herself to smile and turned as the doctor entered her room.<\/p>\n

The physician took one quick glance at the young woman and ordered both her husband and her father from the room.\u00a0 \u201cGo ahead, get out of here, this baby isn\u2019t going to wait much longer, now shoo,\u201d he smiled at them and ushered both of the worried men into the hallway, closing the door behind them.<\/p>\n

It was several hours later that the physician slowly made his way down the stairs, where Ben and his father-in-law waited anxiously at the foot of the steps.\u00a0 Ben noted the haggard look on the doctor\u2019s face and cut his eyes over at Capt. Stoddard, who had also noticed the strange look.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a boy, Mr. Cartwright, and he\u2019s fine,\u201d stated the doctor and then paused, looking from the older man back to the younger.\u00a0 \u201cYour wife would like to see you now,\u201d he said without much joy in his voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow is she?\u201d stammered Ben, fear beginning to rise into his heart and reaching up to his throat where it threatened to choke him.<\/p>\n

The physician shook his head sadly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry Mr. Cartwright, it was a hard birth, there\u2019s nothing more that I can do for her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben felt his heart shatter into tiny pieces as he bolted up the stairs.\u00a0 His beloved wife looked so pale, so young and frightened, but she smiled when she sensed her husband\u2019s presence.\u00a0 She raised her hand, taking Ben\u2019s into her own and slowly brought her husband\u2019s larger hand to her lips and sweetly kissed the back of his several times.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello papa,\u201d she smiled.\u00a0 \u201cHave a look at your son, darling.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben returned the kiss and smiled down at the woman to whom he had given his heart.\u00a0 \u201cI see him, he\u2019s a fine son, darling.\u00a0 Thank you\u2026but you need to rest now, my dear.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh Benjamin, please, bring him to me, so that I might hold him, just once,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n

Ben took his newborn son carefully from the cradle and gently placed the sleeping baby into the folds of its mother\u2019s arms.\u00a0 \u201cOh Ben,\u201d Elizabeth cried, the tiny tears seeping into her eyes as she smiled down on her son and then up at her baby\u2019s father.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease my darling, take care of him for me, tell him how much I love him, and please my dear\u2026love him with all of your heart and soul, as I have loved both of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Elizabeth\u2019s eyes closed for the last time, she was gone from him, from her newborn child, and Ben dropped his head into his hands and wept.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u00a0 Why can\u2019t I?\u00a0 You promised me I could go, and now you\u2019re changing your mind.\u00a0 It isn\u2019t fair!\u201d shouted the raven hair young man as he paced back and forth in front of the fireplace, hands planted on his hips and glaring angrily at his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, calm down son.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t change my mind, I only said that it isn\u2019t a good time for you to be leaving the ranch.\u00a0 I need you here, not a million miles away, at some big high for looting college where you don\u2019t know anyone, and you\u2019ll be all alone and\u2026.\u201d Ben ranted.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh come on Pa, is that the best reason\u2019s you have for not letting me go? I\u2019ve work hard on this ranch you know I have, I\u2019ve given it my entire life, just like you.\u00a0 Why can\u2019t you just hire someone to do my part of the work, just until I come back!\u201d Adam shouted back.<\/p>\n

\u201cHire someone?\u00a0 I\u2019d like for you to tell me, with what?\u00a0 How am I supposed to pay a man?\u00a0 I can barely feed my own family, much less send you off to school and then you tell me to HIRE SOMEONE!!\u201d roared Ben.<\/p>\n

This wasn\u2019t the first time that Ben and Adam had had this same argument, it had been going on for a year now; Adam wanting to go away, his father, reluctant about allowing his son to do as he wished.\u00a0 Oh, Ben knew that eventually he would have to grant the boy his permission, he would give Adam his blessings and then fight the fear that invaded his heart each and every time he thought about his first born son being separated from him.\u00a0 They had spent so much time together, perhaps too much reasoned Ben, so much so that even now, when Adam was nearly eighteen, he could barely face the fact that his son was grown and had a deep seeded desire to strike out on his own.\u00a0 Ben knew that it was just a matter of time before he could no longer make his feeble arguments and reasoned that it would be best for both of them, if he gave in now to his son\u2019s request.\u00a0 If he waited much longer before letting the boy leave before being forced into it, he knew he would then be taking a chance of losing the boy altogether, and there was no way he could ever let that happen.<\/p>\n

\u201cTake care of yourself son,\u201d Ben smiled and gathered his oldest son into his arms, holding him long enough to feel Adam\u2019s body begin to stiffen slightly.\u00a0 Ben released his hold and stepped back, forcing the smile to remain on his face.\u00a0 \u201cYou write as often as you can, we\u2019ll be anxious to hear all about what you\u2019re doing back there in Boston.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded his head and shook his father\u2019s hand.\u00a0 \u201cI will Pa.\u00a0 I promise, I\u2019ll make you proud of me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked long into the dark eyes that had suddenly seemed to look a mite unsure.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you don\u2019t have to make me proud of you, I already am, I\u2019m very proud of you.\u00a0 I always have been,\u201d smiled Ben and then quickly gave his son one last parting hug before the boy turned at the call of the driver for all passengers to board.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod bless you, Adam,\u201d called Ben as the stage pulled away from the station.\u00a0 Ben waved his hand in the air in return to Adam\u2019s own waving hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you, all of you,\u201d shouted Adam, just before the stage rounded the corner taking him from the view of his family.<\/p>\n

From somewhere in the dark resources of his befuddled mind, Ben heard the chiming of the clock.\u00a0 He tossed his head and tried to force open his eyes, but they seemed glued shut.\u00a0 As he listened, his mind closed to the gentle ticking sound, once again lost among his memories.<\/p>\n

Ben held his infant son snugly in his arms as he stooped to place the flowers on his wife\u2019s grave.\u00a0 After arranging them to suit him self, Ben dusted the small particles of dirt from the top of the headstone that bore Elizabeth\u2019s name and stood to his feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll be leaving in the morning, my love.\u00a0 I wanted to come by and tell you how much I love you before we go.\u00a0 I hope you know just how much I do love you, how very much you mean to me and how deeply you will be missed by both myself and the boy, here.\u00a0 Oh darling, Adam is such a good baby, you would be so very proud of him.\u00a0 Thank you my dear for giving him to me, I only wish\u2026I wish that\u2026you could be here, with us, to go west\u2026but I know that can never be, and for that I am sad,\u201d said Ben softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe must go now, I love you Elizabeth, I always will.\u00a0 And I will always make sure that young Adam knows all there is to know about his wonderful, beautiful mother who gave her life to bring him into the world.\u00a0 Farewell\u2026Elizabeth, my love.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMis\u2019ta Cart\u2019light, Mis\u2019ta Ben,\u201d Hop Sing gently shook his boss\u2019 shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cWake up,\u201d he sputtered in his broken English.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes at last opened and he jumped with a start at seeing his housekeeper staring into his face so closely.\u00a0 \u201cOh, Hop Sing, you startled me, is something wrong?\u201d Ben asked as he pulled himself upright.<\/p>\n

Seeing the Bible still setting in his lap, he carefully placed the old worn book onto the table in front of him and stood to his feet stretching.<\/p>\n

\u201cI find boss sitting here, all alone.\u00a0 It is very very late, and you ask me if some ting wong?\u00a0 I ask you\u2026some ting wong?\u201d chattered Hop Sing.<\/p>\n

Ben smiled and shook his head, glancing at the clock.\u00a0 \u201cNo, no, Hop Sing, I was just waiting on the boys.\u201d\u00a0 Ben moved to the door but stopped and looked back over his shoulder at the little man.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t you just go back to bed, Hop Sing?\u00a0 I\u2019m fine, really.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing bowed graciously.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing go, too early to rise, too late to sleep, crazy mixed up man no know when to sleep and when to get up.\u00a0 Hop Sing quit, go back to China,\u201d chanted Hop Sing as he slithered across the wood floor toward the kitchen, where he had a room of his own off to the side.<\/p>\n

He could be heard muttering under his breath, words that Ben could not understand.\u00a0 Ben laughed softly at the little man, whom he admired and respected.\u00a0 Hop Sing\u2019s idle threat was well known to all of them and Ben knew that it was not the first nor would it be the last time that the little Chinaman would voice the same words.<\/p>\n

Ben waited until Hop Sing was gone from the room and then opened the door to peek out.\u00a0 The night was beautiful and if he had not been so worried about the welfare of his sons, Ben might have enjoyed the splendor.\u00a0 Gently he closed the door behind him, folded his arms and strolled to the end of the porch.\u00a0 The wind had died down but he shivered, glanced upward at the sky and then shivered again, hoping that his sons had found shelter from the heavy snow that was now falling.\u00a0 Ben had to admit that it was a beautiful sight; his eyes sought the high mountain peaks that could barely be made out in the darkness.\u00a0 He wondered briefly if he could really see them or if in his mind he only thought he could.\u00a0 He had gazed at the majesty of those peaks; he had stood in awe of God\u2019s creation so many times over the years that he was sure the impression was seared into his memory forever.<\/p>\n

\u2018I need no eyes to see, only a mind to remember, a heart to love,\u2019 he told himself as he turned and retraced his steps into the house.<\/p>\n

Ben stood alone, just inside the main room and glanced about him.\u00a0 The house was still and silent, giving Ben an eerie feeling.\u00a0 He had built this home with his own hands, he and Adam, working side by side had placed log atop log, had cut and sawed and hammered until their hands had bled.\u00a0 It was a home built with love, for a family who loved and respected each other, a family who would give their lives for one or all.\u00a0 It had been a cheerful home, always filled with the sound of little boys, running, screaming, playing, teasing, laughing, always the laughter, thought Ben, the sounds of happiness and joy.\u00a0 And now it stood empty, and Ben\u2019s heart seemed to stand still at the thought.\u00a0 Shaking the disturbing feelings free from his senses, Ben returned to his chair and plopped down.<\/p>\n

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, the clocked chimed.\u00a0 Mid-night sighed Ben, glaring at the clock for reminding him that his sons had not gotten home.\u00a0 He pushed himself back against the chair, it was no use, his boys would not be home tonight, he would just have to wait until the morning or until the snow stopped before he could rest comfortably knowing how his sons had fared.<\/p>\n

Ben yawned, and then tried to stifle the second one.\u00a0 He felt his head slip backward, his eyes closed and in his dream, he smiled as he entered the barn and found his second-born son, Hoss.\u00a0 Hoss was bent over a sick mare, his gentle hands was working feverishly as they caressed the long silky neck with cool compresses.\u00a0 Ben slipped into the barn, smiling at his son as Hoss glanced up at his father, watching as Ben made himself comfortable and ready to keep him company.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s better, Pa,\u201d smiled Hoss over his shoulder and then, turned to speak softly to the downed animal.\u00a0 \u201cI think she\u2019s gonna make it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s heart smiled; Hoss, was such a gentle, man.\u00a0 His large oversized frame frightened a lot of folks, but it belied the kind, caring, compassionate man that lived inside.\u00a0 He had seen Hoss lift a heifer into the air, fight off half a dozen men nearly his own size, all at the same time.\u00a0 Yet he remembered times that this gentle giant had used those same strong hands, to cradle a small boy in his massive arms with as much tenderness as any loving mother would have embraced \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0her own child.\u00a0 Ben had witnessed the emotions that had ripped at the boy\u2019s heart when he had found wounded or mistreated animals; he had seen the big man cry when someone had been abused, or when one of his friends had suffered an injustice at the hands of bullies.\u00a0 But Ben had seen the hardness and determination that sometimes surfaced and set him apart from other men, especially when some unforeseen danger threatened his loved ones.\u00a0 He could be as fierce as a wounded grizzly, or as gentle as a lamb. And most men feared him because of it, because his statue demanded respect, his uncommon sensitivity toward man and beast made him stand out as a man who stood for justice, and truth and the right to be and do what a man pleased.\u00a0 Hoss was respected, revered as a man who cared not that others saw him cry, or that he openly admitted his love for his family, who stood firm in his loyalty to those whom he cherished. Those that knew Hoss Cartwright, knew that they were privileged to know such a man.<\/p>\n

Ben continued to watch with affection as his son labored over the horse.\u00a0 His thoughts slipped into the past and he reflected back to another time, another place.\u00a0 The fog began to clear and there, a beautiful young woman smiled up into his face, Inger, his heart cried.<\/p>\n

\u201cSoon the colt will come, Benjamin,\u201d the bright eyed woman smiled at him.\u00a0 \u201cIt will not be long now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope not, my dear, we must be on our way soon,\u201d Ben explained.\u00a0 \u201cThe folks are getting anxious to be moving on.\u201d<\/p>\n

Inger laughed softly, her sky blue eyes dancing with amusement, \u201cthey will wait, my darling.\u00a0 This is a new life, soon to be entering this world.\u00a0 One cannot rush such things, my love.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben stooped down and gently pulled his wife into his arms.\u00a0 \u201cI am well aware of that, Mrs. Cartwright, for your own time draws near, does it not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes Benjamin, soon our son will be born,\u201d Inger laughed as she slipped her arms about Ben\u2019s neck and kissed the underneath, where soft whiskers tickled her lips.<\/p>\n

Ben placed his lips against Inger\u2019s neck and kissed her lightly.\u00a0 \u201cPlease love, don\u2019t over do things, be careful, promise me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo not worry so, I am fine.\u00a0 Oh, look Benjamin, it is time, the colt comes now.\u201d\u00a0 Inger pulled away from her husband\u2019s arms and returned to the mare.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooky Pa, she\u2019s trying to get up!\u201d Hoss called out and stood back as the mare struggled to her feet.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s it girl, keep tryin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben felt the sting of tears as he stood silently over the opened grave.\u00a0 Adam clung tightly to his hand, in the other arm, Ben held his young son, Hoss.\u00a0 Hoss whimpered; Ben knew the baby was getting hungry, but he had to remain where he was.\u00a0 Someone was praying, and then someone began singing, but though he tried, Ben could not recall the song.\u00a0 He was aware that he had heard it before, but his heart and mind had been torn, ripped from him and he did not even try to put a name to the tune.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t seem to care.\u00a0 His life was over; it ended yesterday when an arrow had found it\u2019s way into the body of his beloved wife.\u00a0 Inger had died trying to help him, trying to protect her son, his son, their sons, and the cost had been astronomical to his own life.\u00a0 The love he had found, the life he had shared with this wonderful woman who had restored new hope to his heart and soul, who had helped him to complete his family, to be a mother to his son and who had bore him a second son, would never be the same. Ben\u2019s heart ached with misery for his loss.<\/p>\n

Adam tugged at his father\u2019s arm, drawing Ben\u2019s attention to his son.\u00a0 \u201cWe gotta go now Pa, everyone\u2019s leavin\u2019,\u201d whispered Adam.<\/p>\n

Ben glanced around him at the small group of mourners who were moving away from the graveside.\u00a0 It was as if he were seeing them for the very first time and he seemed surprised.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I see them, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

A man stepped up to Ben and placed a hand on his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cWe best be movin\u2019 on Mr. Cartwright, afore it gets too late.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded his head.\u00a0 \u201cThank you, we\u2019ll be right there,\u201d Ben said as the man moved away.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll take the baby for you, Mr. Cartwright, until you say your goodbye, if\u2019n ya like,\u201d asked a woman who had befriended the Cartwrights while they had been traveling together on the trail.<\/p>\n

Ben smiled weakly and handed over Hoss, placing the chubby little boy into the woman\u2019s out stretched arms.\u00a0 \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben and Adam stood side by side.\u00a0 Adam suddenly released his hold on his father\u2019s hand and stooped down, grabbing a fist full of dirt and tossed it into the open grave mimicking what he had seen the others do.<\/p>\n

\u201cBye mama,\u201d whispered the boy who fought so hard not to cry.\u00a0 \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s heart lurched as he watched his son fighting to control the tears that had pooled in his large iridescent eyes.\u00a0 The father felt his own eyes begin to tear as he stooped and gathered a handful of the red earth.\u00a0 Fingering the soft dirt gently in his hands for several seconds before tossing the soil inside to mix with the rest, Ben set his lips firmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood bye\u2026Inger, my love.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLooky Pa, she made it!\u201d shouted Hoss, as he stroked the mare\u2019s neck.\u00a0 \u201cI knew she could do it, she\u2019ll be all right now Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben snapped from his reflections, jumped to his feet and moved to stand behind his son, smiling at the happy face that beamed back at him.\u00a0 \u201cI knew if anyone could pull her through, it would be you, son.\u00a0 You did a great job.\u201d\u00a0 Ben slapped Hoss on the back in a loving manner.<\/p>\n

\u201cAw shucks Pa, tweren\u2019t nuthin\u2019, she just needed ta know that someone cared, that\u2019s all,\u201d Hoss shyly stated and then blushed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou certainly have a way with animals son.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how you do it, but they just seem to understand you,\u201d Ben grinned, his pride for his son, showing in his dark eyes.\u00a0 \u201cYou are so much like your mother,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

The door opened loudly, banging against the credenza as the three young men burst into the house, laughing and dusting the snow from their clothes.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, look, Pa\u2019s asleep in the chair\u2026ya don\u2019t reckon he\u2026\u201d laughed Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I bet he has.\u00a0 And he claims that he never worries about us anymore,\u201d Adam moaned in a mock surprised voice that caused all three brothers to burst into laughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Pa!\u201d shouted Hoss good naturally and bringing Ben from his slumber.<\/p>\n

Ben rubbed his eyes, and tried to pull himself up straight in the chair.\u00a0 \u201cHeh?\u00a0 What?\u00a0 Oh, hi boys!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam swapped looks with his siblings and sat down on the coffee table in front of his father.\u00a0 Joe joined him on one side and Hoss on the other.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d asked Ben, studying the faces of each.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, please tell us that you didn\u2019t wait up all night for us, alone in this chair?\u201d teased Little Joe, a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.<\/p>\n

Ben was silent for several minutes as he searched each individual face of his three sons.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u00a0 Are ya all right?\u201d asked Hoss becoming concerned at the expression on Ben\u2019s face and the length of time that he took to respond to his brother\u2019s question.<\/p>\n

Ben smiled at his middle son.\u00a0 \u201cI couldn\u2019t be better,\u201d he proclaimed.<\/p>\n

He turned to Joe, \u201cAnd to answer your question Joseph, no, I was not alone.\u00a0 I had lots of company.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s expression was one of puzzlement as he glanced at Hoss and then Adam.\u00a0 \u201cBut we thought you sat here all night, waiting for us.\u00a0 We know how you worry,\u201d he added with a grin on his handsome face.<\/p>\n

Ben laughed and stood to his feet, not really wanting his boys to know the truth, he had worried, but yet, somehow he had been comforted as well.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, I think you assume too much.\u201d\u00a0 Ben turned to his older two sons.\u00a0 \u201cAnd so do the two of you.\u00a0 I think I will have some breakfast, care to join me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben turned his back from his sons as he made his way to the table, they could not see the smile that graced his face, nor could they hear his silent prayer of thanks that he offered for the safe return of his children.\u00a0 But he could feel the strange looks that passed from brother to brother as they sat in awe of their father, together lined up along the wide boarded table in the center of their home.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019ll be,\u201d Ben heard Hoss whisper to his siblings.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought for sure he waited up on us,\u201d Little Joe whispered in return.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure could have fooled me,\u201d sighed Adam, slipping his arms about both brothers shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, let\u2019s eat, I\u2019m hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n

THE END
\nThanksgiving Day, 2002
\n<\/strong>
\nThank you, God, for everything\u2014
\nThe big things and the small,
\nFor every good gift comes from God
\nThe giver of them all\u2014
\nAnd all too often we accept
\nWithout any thanks of praise
\nThe gifts God sends as blessings
\nEach day in many ways,
\nAnd so at this THANKSGIVING TIME
\nWe offer up a prayer
\nTo thank you, God for giving us
\nA lot more than our share\u2026
\nFirst, thank you for the little things
\nThat often come our way,
\nThe things we take for granted
\nBut don\u2019t mention when we pray,
\nThe unexpected courtesy,
\nThe thoughtful, kindly deed,
\nA hand reached out to help us
\nIn the time of sudden need\u2026
\nOh, make us more aware, dear God,
\nOf little daily graces
\nThat come to us with \u2018sweet surprise\u2019
\nFrom never-dreamed-of places\u2014
\nThen, thank you for the \u2018MIRACLES
\nWe are much too blind to see,
\nAnd give us new awareness
\nOf our many gifts from Thee,
\nAnd help us to remember
\nThat the KEY to LIFE and LIVING
\nIs to make each prayer a PRAYER of THANKS
\nAnd every day THANKSGIVING.<\/em><\/p>\n

Helen Steiner Rice<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 With a snowstorm coming and his sons late in getting home, Ben reflects back on his life and the three wives that bore him, his sons.<\/p>\n

Rated: G (6,000 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9052,"featured_media":9733,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1004,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12092","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ben-cartwright","category-drama","wpcat-1004-id","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1970,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/Didnt-pay-to-be-Ben.jpg?fit=467%2C341&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6603,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6603","url_meta":{"origin":12092,"position":0},"title":"A Special Blessing (by mamse5)","author":"mamse5","date":"December 4, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Ben's awakens on Christmas morning, but what happened to his boys? 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Rating:\u00a0 PG\u00a0 (9,300 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15003,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15003","url_meta":{"origin":12092,"position":3},"title":"The Awakening Dream (by Starlite)","author":"starlite","date":"September 14, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Ben is troubled by a recurring dream that almost comes true. Rated:\u00a0 G\u00a0 \u00a0(4,700 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Ben Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Ben Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1004"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/ben.jpg?fit=264%2C281&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12324,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12324","url_meta":{"origin":12092,"position":4},"title":"Thanksgiving Reflections (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"November 1, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Ben remembers to give thanks for the blessings that made him a richer man than most. Rated:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (1,000 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Ben-dining.jpg?fit=327%2C322&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":23450,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=23450","url_meta":{"origin":12092,"position":5},"title":"The Shanghai Rooster Inn (by Hart4Ben)","author":"Hart4Ben","date":"August 27, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Ben and the boys are spending the night in Placerville and are surprised when they meet the owners of the inn. A piece based on Sweet Betsy From Pike written by John A. Stone before 1858. 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