{"id":12094,"date":"2004-09-01T09:04:14","date_gmt":"2004-09-01T13:04:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12094"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:09:27","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:09:27","slug":"a-pa-for-toby-by-debbieb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12094","title":{"rendered":"A Pa for Toby (by DebbieB)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong> Young Toby’s parents have been killed in an accident, and Ben takes the boy under his wing. But Toby wants something that Joe has, and he sets out to take it away from the youngest Cartwright. Someone has been silently observing the goings on, does that person save for Joe, what Joe has feared most in his life of losing?<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 <\/strong>G (11,125 words)<\/p>\n

A Pa for Toby<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cADAM! HOSS!\u201d shouted Ben in his deep voice. \u201cGET OUT HERE, HURRY!\u201d<\/p>\n

Both Adam and Hoss came running from the house. Ben had hopped down from the front seat of the wagon and was crawling into the back by the time that the brothers answered the urgent call.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Pa?\u201d Adam said as he slid to a sudden stop, surprised by the young boy who sat as if in a daze in the seat next to the spot Ben had just emptied.<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 blue eyes widened in shock and he pointed to the blanket.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho ya got there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s the boy, Pa?\u201d Adam asked as he raised the corner of the cover and examined the faces of the man and woman who lay dead, their bodies twisted and broken.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe hasn\u2019t said anything\u2026not one word. I found them back on the road. Their wagon must have had a broken axle and went down a ravine. The boy probably jumped free, or was pushed out just before it went over. I assume that the man and woman are the boy\u2019s parents,\u201d Ben explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have a clue who they might be?\u201d questioned Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026not yet,\u201d Ben said. \u201cAdam, I want you to take the bodies into town. Tell Roy what I\u2019ve just told you and have the doctor come out to take a look at the boy. Oh\u2026and stop by the school, Joe can ride home with you, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing, I\u2019ll be back later. What about the boy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben walked around to the side and smiled up at the boy, but the boy stared straight ahead without acknowledging him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess he\u2019ll stay here, at least until I talk to Roy and see if we can find some relatives,\u201d Ben answered. \u201cSon, why don\u2019t you get down and we\u2019ll go inside\u2026I\u2019m sure you must be hungry, I\u2019ll have our cook fit you a nice sandwich, or maybe you\u2019d rather have some milk and cookies,\u201d Ben said softly to the lad.<\/p>\n

The boy, his eyes saddened by the events of the day, climbed slowly down and stood, looking up at Ben. Adam nodded his head at his father and climbed into the wagon. Ben\u2019s arm automatically slipped about the boy\u2019s shoulders feeling the tremors that coursed though the young man\u2019s body.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s he takin\u2019 them?\u201d the boy asked softly.<\/p>\n

Ben glanced at Hoss, surprised that the boy had finally spoken. He turned compassionate eyes downward to look into the tear filled eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cInto town, son\u2026to the\u2026undertakers. He\u2019ll take care of them for you and then\u2026tomorrow\u2026we can bury your parents,\u201d Ben explained in his loving and fatherly manner.<\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss heard the boy make sniffling sounds and then surprised Ben by wrapping his arms about Ben\u2019s middle, loosing himself in his grief. For several long minutes, Ben allowed the boy to cry. His arms wrapped themselves protectively about the youth; his fingers entwined themselves amid the thick locks of the boy\u2019s hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it, get it all out,\u201d soothed Ben.<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 own eyes misted but he was quick to wipe away the dampness. His large, tender heart cried along with the boy over his loss.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, how old is this kid?\u201d Joe asked Adam.<\/p>\n

Adam had made his stops and the last stop was at the schoolhouse where he was requested to pick up his youngest brother. Joe sat next to Adam on the wagon seat and had listened with a growing concern about the dead man and woman that his father had found earlier that day. Joe was interested in hearing about the boy that had somehow survived the horrible crash.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s about your age, I reckon,\u201d Adam said. \u201cHe\u2019s banged up some, but I think he\u2019ll be alright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGolly, he\u2019s lucky he didn\u2019t die too,\u201d Joe said softly.<\/p>\n

His thoughts were racing as he tried to imagine what it must feel like to see both of your parents killed at once, and in such a senseless way.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Joe?\u201d he answered, looking over at his brother whose voice suddenly sounded strange.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s gonna happen to him? The kid, I mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I don\u2019t rightly know yet,\u201d Adam said. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shrugged his shoulders. \u201cI dunno, I was just wondering, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess Pa will think of something. He\u2019ll probably let Roy try to find out if he has any relatives round about and if so, I would think they\u2019d take him in,\u201d Adam explained.<\/p>\n

For a spell, Joe was quite and the two brothers rode along seemingly lost in their own private thoughts about the matter.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d be scared,\u201d Joe said after a time.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow so?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBeing all alone. Not having anyone, not knowing what was going to happen to me or where I\u2019d live or with whom,\u201d Joe said in a strangely soft tone.<\/p>\n

Adam glanced over at his brother and could see that the fear Joe spoke of was real; it showed in the boy\u2019s eyes. He had never thought that his kid brother would still be harboring such hidden qualms.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook Joe, you don\u2019t need to worry about things like that. We\u2019d always be together, you, me and Hoss, if anything ever happened to Pa we\u2019d stay right here on the ranch\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t talk like that, Adam!\u201d Joe said hoarsely. \u201cI don\u2019t wanna hear it\u2026I don\u2019t wanna think about it\u2026I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright Joe, simmer down. I thought maybe you were worried about what would happen to you if Pa suddenly\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe turned dark eyes up at his brother. Adam could see that Joe\u2019s chin had begun to quiver and that the hazel eyes had misted.<\/p>\n

\u201cShut-up Adam\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam let the crude demand pass, it was evident that his brother was overcome with emotion and knew that Joe might not even understand why he was reacting in the manner he was. But Adam knew, he had always known. For years after the death of his mother, Joe had come to him at night, his eyes red from crying, his face streaked with tears, his tiny body trembling in fear of the unknown. Adam glanced again at Joe and saw the inner struggle. Without saying another word, Adam nudged Joe with his elbow and when Joe turned to him, Adam handed the reins to his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, you drive, I\u2019m gonna catch a nap,\u201d Adam said laughingly, \u201cand you need the practice,\u201d teased.<\/p>\n

Joe took the reins from his brother and then watched as Adam leaned his head back and pulled his hat down low over his eyes. He didn\u2019t know that Adam saw, but Joe grinned and then slapped the leather down on the wide rumps of the team. Sometimes, thought Joe, his oldest brother was actually nice to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026get on home,\u201d he shouted to the horses.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, Toby here has offered to help out around the place, while he stays with us. I thought perhaps you\u2019d like a little extra help doing your chores, so why don\u2019t you show Toby what he can do to help?\u201d Ben said, smiling at both young boys.<\/p>\n

For a moment, a sense that something wasn\u2019t quite right flickered across Joe\u2019s thought waves, but he pushed the feeling to the back of his mind. He had noticed that ever since he\u2019d gotten home and had supper, the new boy seemed to be clinging to his father, but Joe tried to reason it out. The boy was alone and probably scared half out of his wits, not knowing what was going to happen to him now that both of his parents were gone. He watched how Toby looked up at Ben, and how Ben smiled warmly in his fatherly way that had always brought him a measure of comfort and warm feeling of being loved when he was hurting or frightened or in trouble. Joe could only suppose that it was in his father\u2019s nature to want to protect the new boy, knowing how much Toby had lost in one day. Joe tried to push his uncommon disquiet out of his mind and turn his thoughts instead to helping the boy overcome his grief.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Pa,\u201d Joe said, smiling at last. \u201cCome on Toby, I\u2019ll let you help. Do you know how to\u2026muck out stalls?\u201d Joe said with a gleam in his eye as the thought popped into his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u201d Ben said in a deep voice.<\/p>\n

Joe turned to look up at his father. There was no need for words; Joe understood the warning look that his father gave him. He quickly rephrased his question into a simple statement, which in turn brought a smile to his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll show you, you can watch me so when it\u2019s your turn, you\u2019ll know how,\u201d he said to Toby but he turned and gave his father a cheeky grin as he turned to close the door behind them.<\/p>\n

For the next few days, everything about the ranch seemed to take on a routine. The two young boys got on well together, or so it would appear to the others. But Joe wasn\u2019t as happy with the new arrangement that had been made concerning Toby as what his father and older brothers assumed.<\/p>\n

Late at night, Joe had heard the boy crying and had gone into Toby\u2019s room to see if he could be of some comfort. Joe was told in no uncertain terms, by Toby, to get out and stay out. He went as far as to tell Joe that the only person he wanted right then was Ben. Thus Joe, furious, complied, seeing that it was fruitless on his part to offer any sympathy. It was during the days when the overwhelming sadness surged down upon the visitor that Joe saw a change in his father toward him, slowly begin to take shape.<\/p>\n

When Toby was on the verge of tears, or when something had failed to please him, Ben was always there to soothe his tears, to wipe them away and to offer the boy a comforting embrace. Once Joe was in the middle of explaining to his father a problem he had at school and Toby came bursting from the barn, angry because Adam had insisted that he do something a particular way and he had not liked the idea. Toby had come running up to Ben and had thrown his arms about Ben\u2019s middle, sobbing about how Adam was always trying to boss him around and didn\u2019t Adam understand that he had no clue as to how to do the required chore, let alone the way Adam expected it done.<\/p>\n

Ben had gathered the boy into his embrace and had tried to consol Toby and then, with no thought to his own son who needed his help, turned away and left Joe standing by himself as he led the distraught boy into the house. The fact that Toby had somehow managed to free himself of his work, and turn the attention Ben was giving to Joe onto himself, seemed not to have any affect on the doting father figure.<\/p>\n

Joe decided then and there that he didn\u2019t really like Toby much. Sure, he felt sorry for the younger boy, but he didn\u2019t like the idea much that his father\u2019s attention was being snatched from him. Hadn\u2019t he lost his own mother and hadn\u2019t he always lived in fear that something as horrible as what had happened to Toby\u2019s father, might happen to his own father?<\/p>\n

The old fears came back to haunt him. Joe had believed he had finally been able to put to rest his childhood nightmares, but with Toby\u2019s arrival and the circumstances in which Toby had come to them had stirred the dying embers of old fears and had caused them to be rekindled, sending a new infectious dread into Joe\u2019s young and impressionable heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t start anything, honest, Pa\u2026honest!\u201d Joe beseeched.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes you did, you called me a baby\u2026you said I should grow up and stop whining!\u201d shouted Toby. \u201cAnd when I called you a spoiled brat, you punched me!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLiar!\u201d stormed Joe, his eyes dark with anger. \u201cI never said such a thing and you know it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHUSH!\u201d shouted Ben.<\/p>\n

Ben held the two boys at arm\u2019s length to keep them from ripping in to one another again. Joe\u2019s right eye was turning black and blue and Toby\u2019s lip had been busted and the swelling was obvious, along with the blood that seeped from the cut.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, go to your room. I\u2019ll deal with you later!\u201d demanded Ben, pointing his finger toward the stairs.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s temper was overheating and he stomped his foot.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, do as I say and do it quick before I thrash you right here and now for disobeying me!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked as if he was about to cry, but he willed away the tears. His shock that his father would not hear him out stunned him into compliance as he walked slowly across the room and up the stairs. His anger dissolved and was replaced with disappointment and an ever-growing resentment directed at both his father and the young boy that his father seemed so enthralled with.<\/p>\n

At the top of the steps he paused, looking back. Toby was locked in a tight embrace within Ben\u2019s arms. His head rested gently on his father\u2019s broad chest as Ben ran his fingers tenderly through the boy\u2019s soft yellow hair. Joe felt his throat constrict and he turned, running the length of the hall and into his room, slamming the bedroom door behind him.<\/p>\n

When Ben opened the same door, sometime later, and entered the room, Joe was lying face down on the bed, sleeping. Ben debated whether or not to wake his son and have the little talk he knew he must, but seeing the boy so soundly asleep, his arm curled into a fist, the thumb tucked beneath his slender fingers and Joe looking so much like the boy his father remembered of bygone years, Ben could not bring himself to wake and discipline his son.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019ll wait till morning,\u201d he told himself as he reached for the hand-stitched quilt and pulled it over Joe\u2019s slender form.<\/p>\n

Ben turned the lamp down low and with one last glance, left Joe to his dreams.<\/p>\n

The house was quiet and dark when Joe woke. He pushed himself up from the bed and fumbling in the dark, found the table where the lamp was and turned up the wick. Not having a clue to the time, only knowing that his stomach growled and begged for food, Joe opened the bedroom door and went into the hallway. He\u2019d grab a snack from the kitchen and then go back to bed, he decided.<\/p>\n

At the top of the staircase, Joe stopped. Down below in the great room, he could make out his father\u2019s voice and that of his brothers. Joe glanced down the hall and saw that the door to Toby\u2019s room was closed assuring him that Toby had retired for the night.<\/p>\n

\u2018Good,\u2019 thought Joe. \u2018I don\u2019t wanna have any more dealings with you tonight, you\u2019ve already lied about me and earned me a good thrashing, once Pa makes up his mind to give it to me.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026really\u2026\u201d Joe heard Adam say.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I\u2019m telling you, I don\u2019t know what on earth is wrong with that boy lately. He\u2019s done nothing but stir up trouble for days now\u2026weeks even. Every time I turn my back, he and Toby are into it about something,\u201d fumed Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand it either, Pa. I\u2019ve tried talking to him, but he just snaps at me\u2026course that\u2019s not unusual,\u201d Adam said lightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t matter, he\u2019s been rude, inconsiderate, obnoxious, unfeeling toward the sorrow in Toby\u2019s life. Why he\u2019s even been disrespectful to the poor boy, and to me I might add. I\u2019ve seen a side of Joe that I had no clue even existed, Adam. I would have never guessed that a son of mine could be so uncaring about another individual, especially one his own age.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked up from his pacing to stare into the faces of his older two sons. He shook his head in a disbelieving way.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry to say, I\u2019m ashamed and disappointed in my own son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw\u2026Pa, ya can\u2019t mean that?\u201d Hoss stammered.<\/p>\n

Ben sat down in his chair, still shaking his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean every word of it,\u201d Ben declared.<\/p>\n

Joe, his eyes filling with tears could hardly believe his ears. The sharp words, uttered by the man he loved most in life, cut him to the core. His father was disappointed in him; Ben was ashamed of him, and for what? What were the reasons that spurred his father\u2019s sudden unpleasant opinion of him\u2026Joe glanced down the hall at the closed door and knew what the answer was\u2026Toby. It had all started with the arrival of Toby.<\/p>\n

Joe felt like marching straight into the room and clobbering the boy, but knew he couldn\u2019t, it would only earn him more disfavor from his father. Joe swallowed down his dejection and went back to his room. He paid the lamp no mind. Instead he flopped down on the bed, turning over to bury his face amid the soft pillows and though he tried not to permit them their release, the tears escaped anyway and drowned themselves into the white crispness of the pillowcases.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want you to apologize to Toby,\u201d Ben instructed.<\/p>\n

He and Joe stood in the hallway upstairs. Ben\u2019s eyes were dark, but he had lost most of the angry feelings he experienced the night before at his son.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo I make myself clear?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe, his heart aching to reach out to his father, could only stand with his head lowered and nod his reply.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd this time, young man, when you speak to him, speak with a certain amount of respect\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s head snapped up as he stared in shock at his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cRespect? Why should I respect him? He called me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJOSEPH!\u201d Ben said in a low voice. \u201cDon\u2019t use that tone with me!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe bit his tongue to keep from making a sharp retort. His breathing was irregular and when he swallowed, he felt the burning sensation of animosity in the back of his throat.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry sir,\u201d Joe mumbled.<\/p>\n

Joe raised his head, looking into his father\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s better,\u201d Ben said, his voice softening.<\/p>\n

He placed a hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder and smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know it hasn\u2019t been easy for you, son, having to share me with Toby. But I was hoping you\u2019d understand, the boy\u2019s lost so much\u2026his mother, his father, his whole life has been changed in a blink of an eye. He needs to know that there are those of us who care about him, he\u2019s all alone, Joe, and he\u2019s scared\u2026scared because he has no one, and has no clue what is going to happen to him\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe felt the old fear gnawing in his gut and he gritted his teeth and clenched his jaw to keep it from spewing forth.<\/p>\n

\u201cI said I\u2019d apologize, didn\u2019t I?\u201d he replied angrily.<\/p>\n

Joe brushed Ben\u2019s hand away and turned to go. At the end of the hall, he stopped and turned back to his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cI lost my mother too, you know\u2026and if I remember correctly, when she died, you didn\u2019t bother to go out of your way to comfort me, like you do him!\u2019\u201d snarled Joe, pointing to the boy who had just come from his room and who now stood next to Ben.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s mouth opened wide when Toby smiled at him and then slipped his hand into Ben\u2019s. When Ben glanced down at Toby and back at Joe, it was all Joe could stand. It was the last straw, the ultimate rejection on his father\u2019s part. Joe turned from the heart-wrenching scene and ran from the house, sure that he had just been replaced.<\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t be gone long, Toby. I want you to stay here with Adam and Hoss and please, do as they tell you,\u201d Ben instructed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir, Mr. Cartwright,\u201d the boy agreed.<\/p>\n

Toby smiled at Ben. \u201cWhat about Little Joe\u2026are you going to punish him for running away?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben studied the angelic face that beamed up at him and for a fraction of a second, all the things that Joe had been trying to tell him about the side of Toby that Joe claimed he didn\u2019t see because Toby hid it well from him, raced through his thoughts. Could Joe be right and he so very wrong about the boy?<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry yourself about Joe, I\u2019ll deal with him as I see fit, young man,\u201d Ben scolded.<\/p>\n

It was the harshest tone he had used with Toby and the boy played it to his benefit. He forced tears to flood his eyes and looked pitifully up at Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry\u2026I didn\u2019t mean anything by it, honest,\u201d he said in a soft tone.<\/p>\n

Ben sighed and cupped the trembling chin, smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t mean to snap at you Toby, but as I said, I\u2019ll tend to Joe, you just stay here and see that you get your chores finished, understand?\u201d<\/p>\n

Toby wiped his eyes and gave Ben a big smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir, I will. And I promise, you won\u2019t be disappointed in me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know I won\u2019t; now, I have to go; you be good, young man.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben turned and mounted his horse, waving at Toby as he rode from the yard.<\/p>\n

From his hiding place behind the barn door, Joe turned away from the scene in the yard. His heart was heavy, couldn\u2019t his father see through Toby\u2019s deception and see the kid for what he really was.<\/p>\n

Which is? His conscious questioned him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026I don\u2019t know!\u201d Joe muttered to himself.<\/p>\n

He stomped away and leaned against the nearest post and growled lowly to himself. When his rage became too much, Joe doubled up his fist and slammed it into the post, instantly regretting what he had done. The pain in his fingers shot upward into his wrist, bringing instant tears to his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cDamn you, Toby,\u201d he snarled, clutching his hand tightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAw\u2026did Little Joe hurt himself?\u201d Toby taunted from behind.<\/p>\n

He had entered into the barn unannounced and caught sight of Joe just as Joe\u2019s fist connected to the post. He laughed softly.<\/p>\n

Joe spun around, his angry eyes glowering with hate for the one who had stolen his father\u2019s love and respect from him.<\/p>\n

\u201cShut-up!\u201d Joe yelled.<\/p>\n

\u201cTisk, tisk, tisk\u2026is that tears I see? Oh, poor thing, I thought Joe Cartwright was too big and mighty to be reduced to tears,\u201d laughed Toby.<\/p>\n

Joe ignored the remark and turned away, he was determined not to be goaded into another fight.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you just go away and get the hell out of my life\u2026and my father\u2019s?\u201d Joe snapped.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Little Joe\u2026you jealous? You should be, your father loves me more than he does you,\u201d Toby said with a vicious laugh.<\/p>\n

Joe was trembling with anger as he advanced on the boy. He forgot the pain in his hand as he doubled up both fists, ready to do battle over the right to his father\u2019s love.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe does not!\u201d shouted Joe. \u201cHe could never love you more\u2026never!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no\u2026then ask him!\u201d laughed the other boy.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s nostrils were flaring and he took another step forward.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have to ask\u2026I know!\u201d<\/p>\n

Toby moved around in a circle, placing his back to the door. He knew Joe was on the verge of attacking him and he wanted to be ready. It was all he needed, just one more good pounding by this angry boy to win from him, his father\u2019s total love and devotion. Something that he, Toby, had never had from his own father, but what he longed for all the days of his life. Now it was right in the palm of his hand, love from a man whom he deemed the best father in whole world, and he had stolen it away from this green-eyed, hotheaded, impetuous youngest son of Ben Cartwright.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen tell me why your Pa promised me that if he couldn\u2019t find my relatives, he would adopt me?\u201d Toby lied.<\/p>\n

He laughed outright when he saw Joe\u2019s lower jaw go slack and watched as Joe struggled to contain himself. It was perfect; he\u2019d just shattered the other boy\u2019s heart. Joe would run away, for sure this time, and probably never come back. Ben Cartwright would be his and he\u2019d be the youngest son very soon now.<\/p>\n

Toby was so intent on watching Joe\u2019s expression that he failed to see the left fist that came out of nowhere and plowed into his face. The force of the blow sent him tumbling backwards, through the opened doorway and into the yard. Again and again, Joe used his fist to beat the face of the boy who refused to stop laughing. The sound ground his nerves into fine powder making Joe relentless in his indifference toward the boy that his father had taken to replace him.<\/p>\n

The ruckus brought Adam and Hoss running from the house. Hoss grabbed Joe and pulled him from the other boy. Adam grabbed Toby, who lay face down on the ground and pulled the lad to his feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the meaning of this?\u201d Adam demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe started it,\u201d Toby said, pointing to Joe. \u201cHe hit me first!\u201d<\/p>\n

The laughing had stopped and Joe was amazed that now tears shown in Toby\u2019s blue eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cLiar!\u201d Joe screamed.<\/p>\n

He fought against his brother\u2019s hands, trying desperately to separate himself from the powerful clutches.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d said Adam, in a tone that Joe recognized all too well. \u201cDid you hit him first?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s lips pursed tightly together and Adam could see his brother\u2019s jaw clenching just as tightly. He knew the answer, even before Joe spoke, but something in his brother\u2019s eyes caught his attention and Adam\u2019s anger seemed to have dissipated. An inner voice, soft as a whisper, told him that what he had suspected for days now, was so. It showed in his brother\u2019s heartbroken expression and in the empty and hollow look deep within the emerald crystals of Joe\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet him go, Hoss,\u201d Adam ordered.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo\u2026but Adam, he\u2019ll run off\u2026\u201d stammered Hoss, glancing from one brother to the next.<\/p>\n

\u201cI said, let him go,\u201d Adam repeated the words.<\/p>\n

Hoss released his fingers from about Joe\u2019s arms, waiting for Joe to make a break and run. For a moment, Joe refused to budge. He searched Adam\u2019s face for something, not knowing for what.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo on Joe, I know you want to\u2026and I think I know why,\u201d Adam said using as gentle a tone as he could muster.<\/p>\n

The quivering chin and sad expression tugged at Adam\u2019s heartstrings as he watched Joe run across the yard and leap onto his horse\u2019s back. Adam felt the constriction of his own throat as he turned and watched his youngest brother ride off out of sight, praying that when the time came, Joe would come home again.<\/p>\n

The moment he swung down from the saddle, Ben ran across the yard toward the barn. Hoss and Adam were bending over Toby who sat on a crate just outside the door. His nose was bleeding and his lip had swelled. The boy\u2019s right eye sported a bright ring of blue and purple and Toby\u2019s chin was quivering, a sure sign that the lad had been crying.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat now?\u201d fumed Ben as he pushed Adam\u2019s hands away from the boy so that he could see for himself the damage that had been done to Toby\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

He really had no cause to ask the question, it was obvious that Toby and Little Joe had been fighting again. Ben made a quick glance around the yard, but his own son was nowhere to be seen.<\/p>\n

\u201cOuch,\u201d Toby said in his boyish sounding voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Toby,\u201d Ben said. \u201cAre you alright, now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d the boy grumbled.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Adam stood back as Ben knelt down so that he could be face to face with Toby. They knew by the angry look in their father\u2019s eyes that Ben was fit to be tied. They remembered the warning he had given to their younger brother about fighting with Toby\u2026but obviously, Little Joe had not remembered.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened this time?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

Toby lowered his head, his chin quivered again and when Ben gently tilted his head up, soft, gentle tears rolled from the corner of each eye.<\/p>\n

\u201cI tried not to fight\u2019em, Mr. Cartwright, honest. But he wouldn\u2019t pay me no mind. Little Joe just started clobbering me, I had to fight back\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut why? What the fight about this time, Toby? What reason did Little Joe give you for starting another fight?\u201d Ben pushed. \u201cI thought we had everything all worked out between you two boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo did I, but then this morning he was out here in the barn, just waiting for me. He accused me of\u2026of\u2026stealing\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Ben practically shouted. \u201cStealing what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Adam said in a steady voice. \u201cCould I have a word with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben turned to look up at his oldest son, his eyes dark with anger.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t you see that I\u2019m trying to get to the bottom of this? That brother of yours is going to get a good\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, please!\u201d Adam said sternly.<\/p>\n

Adam moved away, into the barn, and waited for his father to join him. Outside, he could hear Ben speaking to Hoss and Toby.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, take Toby to the house and clean him up. Hop Sing should have a beefsteak to put on that shiner. I\u2019ll be with you in a few minutes, after I speak with Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYessir, Pa. Come on little buddy, let\u2019s get his face taken care of,\u201d Hoss said, placing his arm about the boy\u2019s shoulders and walking to the house.<\/p>\n

Ben waited until Hoss was nearly to the house before entering the barn.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Adam, what is so important that it couldn\u2019t wait until I was finished talking to Toby?\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

Ben stood in the light that cast its glow onto the barn floor from the opened doorway. Adam was leaning against a post, his arms folded across his chest. Something about the way he looked at him caused Ben to forget his anger.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, son? What is this all about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you sit down, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben glanced at the bales of hay stacked to one side, but remained where he was.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam made a mock grin and moved to the bales himself, and sat down.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright then, I\u2019ll sit\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben moved deeper into the barn and watched the expressions on his son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, please\u2026something\u2019s troubling you. Is it Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa, it\u2019s Joe,\u201d Adam said softly.<\/p>\n

This time when Ben moved, he moved to sit down next to Adam and waited while his son searched for the words he wanted to say.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you warned Joe about fighting with Toby\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right, and apparently he disregarded my warning. What do you know about this fight? What was it that Joe thought Toby had stolen from him that was so important that he saw fit to beat the\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou,\u201d Adam said softly.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s words hung in his throat and his eyes widened in surprise.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe? I don\u2019t understand, Adam,\u201d Ben stated.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Pa\u2026I\u2019m not even sure if what I think is going on, is actually going on. All I know is that Little Joe is\u2026well\u2026hurting\u2026and it\u2019s because of Toby\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked even more puzzled. \u201cToby?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it started when you found Toby and his parents and brought them all here,\u201d Adam explained.<\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath and stood to his feet, moving across the barn and turning around.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat started? I\u2019m not following you son, I have no idea what on earth you are talking about?\u201d Ben said nearing exasperation.<\/p>\n

Adam got to his feet as well and went to Ben. His expression was one of worry.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook Pa, when did Joe\u2019s attitude about everything suddenly change? It was when you brought Toby home. Oh, not the first few days, but later, Joe seemed mad all the time. He was edgy and sullen; you couldn\u2019t even speak to the boy without getting your head bit off. And then the fights started and it seemed that Joe was always the one at fault. Everyone of us, especially you, sided with Toby\u2026poor Toby\u2026he\u2019s lost everything, his father, his mother\u2026he had no one\u2026no one that is except for Ben Cartwright, his newfound surrogate father.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam pinched his lips tightly, he hadn\u2019t meant to be so blunt, but it came out that way and he could only imagine what his father must be thinking, if anything. Adam chanced a quick glance in his father\u2019s direction.<\/p>\n

Ben looked thoughtful, his dark eyes looked like smoldering lava about to erupt, but Adam saw his father take a deep breath and let it out slowly. He knew Ben was trying to maintain a measure of composure.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust what is that suppose to mean?\u201d Ben said in a strained yet deep voice.<\/p>\n

Adam looked his father straight in the eye with flinching.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat all of a sudden it seemed as if Toby was the son and Joe was the outsider.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes flashed dark and for a moment Adam thought his father would start to shout at him. He hurried on, it had weighed heavy on his mind these last few weeks, these disturbing thoughts and fears that had been bothering him needed clarifying.<\/p>\n

\u201cOr so it must surely have seemed to Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam placed a hand on his father\u2019s arm, surprised to feel how tense the muscles beneath his fingers were.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, don\u2019t you see what\u2019s happening to Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t\u2026why don\u2019t you tell me?\u201d Ben stated rather than asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cToby represented everything to Little Joe that Joe has feared most all of his life,\u201d Adam explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that is?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLosing you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLosing me? How for heaven\u2019s sake?\u201d Ben said, his anger beginning to dissolve.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026all Joe\u2019s life, he\u2019s lived in fear that something might happen to you, that you would be killed and he\u2019d be\u2026left alone in a way. I thought he\u2019d finally outgrown it, but since Toby came here, since Toby lost his mother and his father\u2026the reality that death can happen in a snap of your finger, and one could find himself all alone, with no one, became all to real to Little Joe. It awoke in him, the old fears and when he watched you doting on Toby\u2019s every move, his every whim, Joe got all mixed up inside and\u2026well, I guess he thought that there was more than one way of losing the person he loves most in his life\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben seemed truly shocked by the information that Adam was giving him. He paced the barn, to and fro several times and then stopped, running his fingers through his silver hair. The turbulence that was building inside of him was nearly ready to overflow.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, are you saying that Joe continued to fight with Toby only because he was afraid that I loved\u2026Toby\u2026more than I loved him?\u201d Ben stammered as the realization of Adam\u2019s words hit him full force.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe might not understand that, is the reason he suddenly disliked Toby, or thinks he hates the boy, but I believe from what I\u2019ve seen, that\u2019s why Joe\u2019s acting out as he is.<\/p>\n

It isn\u2019t really his fault, Pa\u2026Joe\u2019s just a boy, a kid, and he doesn\u2019t understand that no matter how much you do care about Toby, or how very sorry you feel for him, Joe misinterprets your actions as acts of love\u2026which they are, but not as Joe sees love\u2026all he sees is that since Toby\u2019s been here, he\u2019s in trouble all the time, he\u2019s always the one in the wrong, and Toby\u2019s right and that it\u2019s because of Toby that you stay angry at him. He sees Toby as a threat, the means by which he could lose his father\u2026and if I\u2019m right in what I think, then Joe\u2019s scared, just plain scared. Pa, am I making any sense at all, do you understand what I\u2019m trying to say?\u201d<\/p>\n

For several minutes Ben was silent. Adam watched his father struggle, the new fears that his words evoked stirred Ben deeply. When at last Ben turned to Adam, his eyes were full of unshed tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cI had no idea that your brother felt that way, or that I was causing him such inner turmoil,\u201d Ben said, swallowing hard. \u201cMy poor boy\u2026\u201d Ben muttered softly, almost in a whisper. Ben wiped his opened hand across the front of his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, do you have any idea where Joe is? I must go to him, I have to talk to him and try to make him understand that I\u2026that I love him more than life itself,\u201d Ben said in a thick voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen Hoss and I heard the ruckus and came running out, Joe jumped on his horse and lit out of here like the devil was chasing him. My bet would be to look up at the lake; he usually goes there and has a talk with\u2026his mother\u2026when he\u2019s troubled.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you\u2019re right, son, he would go straight to Marie. Help Hoss make Toby comfortable and tell Hop Sing to go ahead with supper. I\u2019m going after your brother,\u201d Ben said as he moved to the door.<\/p>\n

Buck was still standing at the hitching post, saddled. Ben quickly made his way over to his horse and mounted up.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Pa\u2026Pa,\u201d said Adam, standing beside his father\u2019s horse and looking up at Ben.<\/p>\n

Ben looked down at Adam and saw the concern in the dark eyes, \u201cYes, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou aren\u2019t going to\u2026yell at Joe\u2026are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben fought back the smile that tugged at his lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026I\u2019m not going to yell at Joe,\u201d he said, smiling at last.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Adam smiled in return.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Ben said, turning Buck around, \u201cthank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was, as he knew it would be; Joe was sitting propped against his mother\u2019s headstone. He had his knees drawn up tight against his chest and his head was resting on top of them. His arms were wrapped tightly about his bended legs. His eyes, red from crying, could not be seen by his father who stood over him, his own heart heavy for the misunderstanding that separated them and threatened to sever their relationship.<\/p>\n

Quietly, Ben squatted down in front of his son.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n

Ben placed his hand on the soft silken curls, awakening the boy from his thoughts and to the fact that he was no longer alone with his misery.<\/p>\n

At the sound of his name, Joe\u2019s head snapped upward. Ben could see the collection of tears that lingered in the emerald eyes, so heartbreakingly lonely and lost. He could see the white tracks down the center of Joe\u2019s face where the previous tears had left their mark.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d Joe said in a shaky voice.<\/p>\n

His eyes locked with his father\u2019s and then suddenly, Joe pushed Ben\u2019s hand away and jumped to his feet, moving out of reach of his father. Ben watched as Joe wiped the sleeve of his shirt across the front of his face, desperately trying to hide all traces that he had been caught crying.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s heart melted as it always did when Joe\u2019s actions moved him as they did now. He wanted nothing more than to take the boy into his arms and hold him as he had when Joe had been so much smaller and younger. But he sensed in his son a smidgeon of aloofness and reasoned that the moment for such endearment was not at present.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon\u2026\u201d began Ben, \u201cI think we should talk.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe had moved far enough away that he felt safe in that his father could not touch him. He had his back to Ben, but at the words, Joe turned his head and looked over his shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cTalk?\u201d he muttered, \u201cabout Toby\u2026about how I stomped his butt\u2026about how you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s words trailed off into a whisper and then stopped completely. He turned to hide his face from the dark, probing eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout how I what, son?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

The concerned father willed himself not to go to his son, but remain for now, where he stood.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing,\u201d Joe said firmly, his tone laden with resentment.<\/p>\n

Ben pursed his lips together and then took a deep breath, ready to jump in and do battle if need be to win back his son\u2019s affection.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam said you accused Toby of stealing something that you believed belonged to\u2026just you,\u201d Ben stated, toying with a blade of grass he had stooped down to pull.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t accuse him of stealing, only of trying to,\u201d Joe muttered. He still refused to turn and look at his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen I take it by that statement, what Adam thought is correct\u2026you do, for whatever reason, believe that I have stopped\u2026loving you\u2026and now love Toby more?\u201d Ben asked, taking a couple of steps closer to his son.<\/p>\n

He could see Joe\u2019s body stiffen at his words and worried that the boy might get it into his head to run away again. Instead, Joe turned to face him, his eyes dark with anger or fear, Ben wasn\u2019t sure which of the two it might actually be. But nonetheless, the look in Joe\u2019s eyes broke his heart, for it screamed of heartache and despair.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t deny it\u2026\u201d Joe said, his voice trembling. \u201cI\u2019ve seen the way you\u2019ve changed since he\u2019s been here, since you brought him home and decided that he\u2019d make a better son than I would\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

A sob caught in Joe\u2019s throat and drowned out his words. Ben could see the tears that fell from his son\u2019s eyes as Joe lowered his head and turned his back toward him for the second time.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben said, his own voice thick with raw emotion. \u201cI could never stop loving you, I haven\u2019t stopped loving you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou haven\u2019t?\u201d shouted Joe, spinning around and giving Ben a disgusted snarl. \u201cYou sure have a funny way of showing it\u2026always yelling at me, blaming me for everything that happens to \u2018poor Toby\u2019, sending me to my room when I haven\u2019t done anything\u2026ignoring me\u2026adopting him!\u201d<\/p>\n

The tears rolled freely down the boy\u2019s face as Joe nibbled his lower lip and tried to make his words have meaning.<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard you tell my own brothers\u2026my brothers that you had no idea that I could be so\u2026so\u2026nasty to another person. I heard you tell them that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s sobbing became uncontrollable and he turned away, leaning heavily on the nearest tree, shielding his face from his father\u2019s and began to weep sorrowfully. Ben could stand no more, he moved quickly to Joe\u2019s side, placing a tender hand on his son\u2019s back. Ben made a sniffling sound and swallowed hard.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Again Joe managed to move away. Ben could see that the boy bordered on hysteria. He moved to comfort his son before Joe could run away.<\/p>\n

\u201cDON\u2019T!\u201d Joe shouted, slapping Ben\u2019s hand away. \u201cIt\u2019s happened Pa\u2026I always knew it would\u2026I just didn\u2019t know it would happen like this,\u201d he ranted. \u201cI\u2019ve lost you\u2026\u201d wept Joe. \u201cI\u2019ve lost\u2026you!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s crying came in broken sobs that wrenched the heartstrings of the man who had fathered him. Ben\u2019s eyes misted with tears and when Joe sank to his knees in the soft, moss-covered earth, Ben sank down along with him.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s hands grasped Joe\u2019s trembling shoulders. Giving in to his misery and wanting nothing more than to feel his father\u2019s arms locked about his weakened body in a loving embrace, Joe allowed his father to pull him into the folds of his arms and leaned willing against his father\u2019s breast.<\/p>\n

For several lingering minutes, Ben held his son and allowed Joe to cry out his sorrow. When it appeared that the weeping had stopped, Ben leaned down his head, kissing the top of the chestnut curls. Joe\u2019s arms had laced themselves about his father\u2019s mid-section and he clung desperately to the warmth and the love that he suddenly realized had not been stolen from him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa,\u201d Joe muttered after a spell.<\/p>\n

\u201cShh\u2026you have nothing to be sorry for, son. It was all my fault,\u201d Ben whispered. \u201cI should have seen what was happening, I should have been more observant of what I was doing to you,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n

Gently, Ben tilted Joe back and cupping the quivering chin in his strong, but loving hand, tipped Joe\u2019s head upward so that he could look into the hazel eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could never love another boy more than I love you at this very second. I love you with all my heart and soul, as I do your brothers. No one\u2026understand me, Joe, no one\u2026could ever replace you, or be the son to me that you have been. I would rather die a thousand deaths than to have you believe otherwise.\u201d<\/p>\n

Once more tears filled the boy\u2019s eyes as Joe\u2019s arms wrapped about his father\u2019s neck.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been so scared\u2026ever since my mother died, that I\u2019d lose you,\u201d he whispered in broken sobs.<\/p>\n

Ben eased Joe back and then sat down on the grass, bringing Joe down next to him. He pulled Joe close and placed his arm around his son.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you tell me about it, son? I had no idea that you still had such thoughts,\u201d Ben encouraged.<\/p>\n

Joe swiped his arm across his face, under his nose and looked up sadly at his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor a long time, a very long time, after my mother died, I would cry myself to sleep. I didn\u2019t understand what death was, only that she had gone away, but not realizing that death was so final that my mother would never come home to me, to us.<\/p>\n

When I got older and understood about death, I was afraid that you would die and I\u2019d be left all alone. I didn\u2019t think about the fact that I\u2019d still have Adam and Hoss\u2026I only thought about what would happen to me if something happened to you.<\/p>\n

And then you started going away on business\u2026I\u2019d feel all alone and\u2026frightened. I had dreams\u2026nightmares really\u2026and it was always the same. You\u2019d leave and never come back\u2026and I could see myself, running through the dark\u2026I\u2019d have no idea where I was going\u2026but I\u2019d be calling for you\u2026pleading with you not to leave me. I could see you off in the distance and I\u2019d run faster and faster to try to catch up with you, but I never could. And then you\u2019d disappear\u2026it was awful, I felt sick to my stomach, like now\u2026and all alone\u2026and\u2026and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe blew his nose on the handkerchief that Ben pulled from his hind pocket and handed to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know it sounds silly\u2026really silly when I say it out loud,\u201d Joe said shyly.<\/p>\n

He looked up at his father and saw the understanding he yearned for reflected back at him from the warm depths of Ben\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s silly, Joseph,\u201d Ben said, tightening his arm about Joe\u2019s shoulders.<\/p>\n

Joe leaned his head over, resting it against his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you brought Toby home and I saw what he was going through\u2026what with his ma and his pa dying\u2026I guess I sort of got to thinking, that could be me. And I got scared all over again. I saw how Toby hurt,\u201d Joe sniffed his nose again. \u201cI saw how sad he was, and I heard him lots of times, crying, mostly at nights when he thought everyone was sleeping and didn\u2019t hear him. It made me ill, just hearing him calling out for his ma and especially his pa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked up at his father, his eyes wide and fearful. \u201cI\u2026didn\u2019t mean to fight with him, I wasn\u2019t mean to him on purpose, honest, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen why, Joe\u2026did you seem to be?\u201d Ben asked gently.<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno\u2026I guess because he reminded me that it could happen to me\u2026that I could lose you\u2026he even told me one day that he wished it had been my pa rather than his that died. Him saying that made me mad\u2026and\u2026I punched him. But he only laughed at me and said that you loved him more than you loved me\u2026I punched him again\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stood to his feet and walked a short distance off before turning around.<\/p>\n

\u201cI knew in my heart it wasn\u2019t so\u2026but then, I saw that every time Toby did something that pleased you, you\u2019d glance at me, and I thought you were comparing us. I\u2019m always doing something wrong\u2026I\u2019m always getting in trouble and worrying ya with silly things, but Toby\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben got to his feet and moved to stand in front of Joe, resting his hands on the slim shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Toby\u2026nothing. Oh yes, Joe, I felt sorry for the boy, he had lost so much\u2026and I knew he was hurting. Perhaps that\u2019s why I showered him with attention, to ease his sorrow and make him feel as if he were still loved. I knew that at this point, he had no one, not even relatives who could comfort him, so\u2026I guess I over-indulged Toby. I didn\u2019t mean too, I was only trying to make him feel as though we cared\u2026and I ended up hurting you, leaving you to think that I\u2019d stop caring for you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben said, tilting the head upward and smiling down into the cherubic face, \u201cI could never stop loving you\u2026I will never stop loving you, do you understand?\u201d smiled Ben.<\/p>\n

The last lone tear was free and rolled slowly down the face of Ben\u2019s youngest son.<\/p>\n

\u201cI do now,\u201d he whispered, molding himself against his father. Joe felt the loving arms embrace and squeeze him. \u201cI love ya, Pa,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben waited while Joe managed to collect his emotions before mounting up. He smiled at his son, pleased to see that the shimmer of happiness had returned to the boy\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow\u2026what are we going to do about our young friend?\u201d Ben questioned.<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose\u2026I have to apologize to him for fighting.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled. \u201cThat\u2019s a good start\u2026then what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know Pa\u2026what is going to happen to Toby?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you really care, Joe, what becomes of him?\u201d Ben asked gently.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face took on a surprised expression.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t hate him\u2026I know I acted like I did, but it was because of the things he said to me\u2026and the way he made me feel. I feel sorry for him too, Pa\u2026honest. I know\u2026or sort of know, how he feels\u2026it must be awful to lose both parents. I don\u2019t want to see anything bad happen to him. What\u2019s gonna happen if\u2019n you don\u2019t find any relatives? Are you really going to adopt him?\u201d<\/p>\n

The pair rode side-by-side back toward the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Joe, I\u2019m not going to adopt Toby. I suppose that he\u2019d have to go to the orphanage, unless we found someone who really wanted to adopt him,\u201d Ben said thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

Joe turned to his father. His face bore a worried expression.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe orphanage\u2026I\u2019d hate to see that happen,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo would I\u2026I\u2019ve heard terrible things about some of them,\u201d Ben stated.<\/p>\n

They rode in silence for several moments until Joe broke the silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf anything ever happened to you\u2026before I was full grown\u2026would I be sent to an orphanage?\u201d Joe said in a worried voice.<\/p>\n

Ben turned to see the look of horror on his son\u2019s young face and instantly pulled Buck to a standstill. He reached out, grabbing hold of Cochise\u2019s reins and pulled Joe\u2019s horse to a stop next to his.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not\u2026you would stay right here on the ranch, with Adam and Hoss. Joe, please, never worry that you would be sent away. A long time ago, when Adam turned twenty-one, I went to see my lawyer and made sure that you would be taken care of should something happen to me. Adam would be your legal guardian, along with Hoss who would help him care for and raise you.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a moment, Joe looked thoughtful, then his eyes narrowed and he looked Ben\u2019s way.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean Adam would be my boss?\u201d he said in surprise.<\/p>\n

Ben could not stop the smile that spread across his face. He knew his youngest son well enough to know what the boy was thinking.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d he said, almost laughing out right at Joe\u2019s scowl.<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat,\u201d Joe muttered, kicking his heels into Cochise\u2019s sides. \u201cJust promise me one thing, Pa,\u201d Joe called out.<\/p>\n

Ben urged Buck to hurry and soon caught up to his son.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked like a little boy with his face all scrunched up like it was. But he gave his father a cheeky grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust promise me that you\u2019ll live to a ripe old age. I couldn\u2019t take old stuffy pants bossing me around everyday for the rest of my life,\u201d he giggled.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s deep rich laughter joined the high-pitched giggles of his son\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cI promise to do my best,\u201d Ben swore, crossing his heart in a child-like manner.<\/p>\n

Both father and son were still laughing when they rode into the yard. Joe seemed surer of himself by then and as he dismounted, he gave his father a happy smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess I\u2019d better go find Toby and tell him I\u2019m sorry,\u201d Joe said, lacing the reins over the top of the hitching post.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s probably in the barn doing his chores, I\u2019d best get inside and see who our company is,\u201d Ben said, nodding to the horse and buggy standing across the yard at the other hitching post.<\/p>\n

As Ben watched, Joe hurried to the barn and disappeared from his sight. Ben headed for the house and just as he reached for the door, it was yanked opened from the inside. Hoss greeted his father with a happy grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cHowdy, Pa\u2026come on in, we\u2019ve got company,\u201d he said, almost pulling Ben into the house.<\/p>\n

Hoss still held the door handle in his hand and as Ben entered the house and began to remove his hat, Hoss peeked out though the opened door.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid ya find Little Joe?\u201d he asked Ben, closing the door at last.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, he\u2019s in the barn,\u201d Ben said as he crossed the room to greet his guests.<\/p>\n

Adam stood up and moved to his father\u2019s side.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, this is Mr. Carl Atwell, and his wife, Doris,\u201d Adam said, introducing the man and woman to his father. \u201cThey are Toby\u2019s aunt and uncle,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

\u201cSir, Ma\u2019am, my father, Ben Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes widened in surprise, but his smile was most welcoming.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t say, I\u2019m pleased to meet you, Mr. Atwell,\u201d Ben said as he shook hands with the man who had gotten to his feet to greet his host. \u201cMrs. Atwell,\u201d Ben nodded, smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, sit down,\u201d Ben offered, taking a seat in his red chair.<\/p>\n

Mr. Atwell sat back down on the settee next to his wife. Carl was an older man, older than what Toby\u2019s father had appeared to be. He explained to Ben and his sons that he was Fred\u2019s, Toby\u2019s father, older brother. Carl and Doris lived in Stockton and Carl went on to explain that Fred and his wife, Lou Ann, were on their way to join them when they encountered the unfortunate accident that claimed their lives and left Toby orphaned.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019d like to take Toby back with us, Mr. Cartwright\u2026if he\u2019s a mind to go,\u201d Carl stated.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell certainly, I\u2019m sure Toby will agree\u2026speaking of which, where is the boy?\u201d Ben asked Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s in the barn, doing chores\u2026and Joe?\u201d Adam said, one brow slightly lifted.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the barn, doing chores\u2026we hope,\u201d Ben smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cI take it then, that you got things straightened out?\u201d Adam hinted.<\/p>\n

Ben nodded his head. \u201cYes, just in time too, I might add. And you were right, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook,\u201d said Joe with determination. \u201cI said I was sorry\u2026I shouldn\u2019t have hit you. I shouldn\u2019t have accused you of\u2026trying to steal my father, it was childish of me and I apologize,\u201d Joe stated.<\/p>\n

Toby had his back to Joe and turned around, his blue eyes were dark and Joe sensed in the boy a deep seeded resentment directed at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, so you\u2019ve said it, doesn\u2019t mean that you really mean it though\u2026it only means that your old man made you say it,\u201d snorted Toby.<\/p>\n

\u201cI meant it,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

He was quickly losing his temper with the other boy. It seemed that Toby had a way of ticking him off like no else could do, or was it because he feared for himself what had actually happened to Toby? Joe wasn\u2019t sure, but he swallowed his anger and moved closer, extending out his hand toward the boy.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Toby, can\u2019t we start all over and be friends, please?\u201d Joe said with sincerity.<\/p>\n

Toby looked down at the out stretched but never said a word until he looked up into Joe\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d don\u2019t like you\u2026you know that, don\u2019t you?\u201d he snarled at Joe.<\/p>\n

Joe sighed deeply and lowered his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cI figured as much and I can\u2019t say that I blame you, I haven\u2019t treated you very well since you got here. And to be honest, I don\u2019t much like you either. You\u2019ve been just as nasty to me as I have been to you, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Toby moved away, turning his back to Joe once again. He picked up the rake and spun around, holding the handle in both hands. Instantly, Joe noted the swell of anger and what he deemed as hate, fill the other boy\u2019s eyes and he took a cautious step back, distancing himself from the boy and the long rake.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not because of that, that I hate you,\u201d Toby growled.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen why?\u201d Joe questioned, keeping an eye on the way that Toby toyed with the handle.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s because you have it all\u2026a family, brothers, a father who loves you\u2026a home, money\u2026you have everything you could possibly want. I have nothing\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut that\u2019s not my fault,\u201d stammered Joe. \u201cI don\u2019t have a mother\u2026she died when I was just a kid\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have anything\u2026I never did. My parents didn\u2019t love me\u2026they hated me. My mother hated my father, my father couldn\u2019t stand my mother. All they ever did was argue and scream at each other. My father blame my mother for keeping him tied down to her and her damn kid\u2026me. My mother hated my father for getting her pregnant with me and she resented me for being born. She told my father once\u2026I heard her\u2026she told him she wished she had died when I was born and you wanna know what he said?\u201d<\/p>\n

Toby\u2019s laughter was filled with anger and hurt, hate and resentment and it sent cold chills surging through Joe\u2019s veins. He felt his body tremble just by the sound it made ringing in the empty barn.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy father said, \u2018if there had ever been a God, he would have let the both of you die when that brat was born\u2019, that\u2019s how much my old man loved me. So now you know, Cartwright, why I hate you, I hate your family and I hate everything that you represent!\u201d<\/p>\n

A deep sob gurgled up from the pit of Toby\u2019s stomach and tears instantly filled his eyes. Joe reckoned that they were the first real tears that Toby had shed since arriving at the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

Toby glared at Joe and raised the rake high over his head in a threatening manner. Joe, his own eyes wide, glanced around looking for a way to escape from the force he knew would be behind the handle once it came down on his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cToby\u2026don\u2019t do it,\u201d Joe said, backing up against the wall.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have too\u2026I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDrop the rake Toby!\u201d a deep voice from the doorway called.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes never left the other boy\u2019s face, though he longed to see who had come to his rescue. The voice was unfamiliar and certainly not his father\u2019s or that of Adam\u2019s or even Hoss\u2019.<\/p>\n

Toby\u2019s eyes ventured to the door, the rake remained high in the air and it seemed as if all time had stopped and the boy was frozen in that time frame.<\/p>\n

The man moved slowly into the barn. Joe caught a glimpse of the tall figure as he cautiously inched forward. When he was just inches from the boy, the man took the rake from Toby\u2019s trembling hands and tossed it to the side.<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard what you said, son. You don\u2019t have to keep on feeling as if no one loves you. I love you Toby, your Aunt Doris loves you and we want you to come home with us. We\u2019d like you to be our son. We\u2019d like to give you all those things you\u2019ve just mentioned that you have been denied all your life.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man extended his hand and caressed the side of Toby\u2019s face in a fatherly manner.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve never had the privileged of having a son of my own. But I\u2019d be honored if you would be my son. I can\u2019t promise you that we will agree on everything, or that I\u2019ll never not be angry with you, but I can promise to love you, care for you, teach and guide you. I promise never to turn my back on you; I\u2019ll stand by you in everything that you do, as long as what you do is legal, moral and fitting. What do you say, Toby?\u201d the man asked.<\/p>\n

Toby\u2019s tears dripped from the end of his chin. He cast water filled eyes in Joe\u2019s direction. Joe pinched his lips tightly and nodded his approval. He had no idea who this man was or how he had come to be where he was, but Joe was glad that the man was here.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s worth a try, Toby,\u201d Joe said softly. \u201cNow\u2019s your chance to have those things\u2026I don\u2019t think I\u2019d say no, if I were you,\u201d Joe insisted.<\/p>\n

Toby nodded his head and when the stranger opened his arms, Toby welded himself against the man who wrapped his arms about him in a loving way.<\/p>\n

A movement at the door caught Joe\u2019s attention and when he saw his father, Joe went running to him. Ben\u2019s arms opened wide and closed tightly about his son. Joe buried his head against his father\u2019s beating heart, his own arms encircled his father as they clung to one another.<\/p>\n

It was bright and early the next morning by the time that Carl and Ben had the buggy loaded up and stood waiting for Doris and Toby to join them.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m pleased, Mr. Cartwright, that Toby decided to give us a chance. I\u2019ve always felt sorry for the boy, my brother and his wife were never good parents. I offered years ago to take the boy, I even asked them if I could adopt him, but strange as it may sound, they didn\u2019t want him themselves, but they didn\u2019t want me to have him either,\u201d Carl explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s out of their hands now, Carl and I for one happen to think it best for the boy. He\u2019ll have a chance for a good, happy life now,\u201d Ben stated.<\/p>\n

The door to the house opened and Doris came out, smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cToby will be out in a minute, darling,\u201d she told her husband.<\/p>\n

She turned to Ben and smiled. \u201cHe\u2019s saying good-bye to Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks Little Joe\u2026I owe you an apology too,\u201d Toby said, offering his hand.<\/p>\n

Joe looked at the proffered hand for only a moment and then took it into his own.<\/p>\n

\u201cFriends?\u201d he smiled at Toby.<\/p>\n

\u201cFriends,\u201d agreed Toby, pumping Joe\u2019s hand up and down.<\/p>\n

Together they walked from the house to the waiting buggy. Carl and Doris had already seated themselves and when Toby was ready, they waved their hands in the air, shouting their good-byes to the Cartwrights who waved in return.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome see us!\u201d shouted Doris.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll write ya, Little Joe!\u201d yelled Toby to his new friend as the buggy rounded the barn and disappeared from sight.<\/p>\n

Ben wrapped his arm around his youngest son\u2019s shoulder and smiled down into the twinkling eyes that looked up at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that was a happy ending,\u201d he said cheerfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019m happy for Toby. He\u2019s finally getting everything he ever wanted,\u201d agreed Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, maybe not everything,\u201d Ben said. \u201cBut almost.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d Joe asked, puzzled.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Toby got the family he always wanted and the love he craved, but what he doesn\u2019t have yet is the time tested rewards of that love. You see son, when a man has a son, he loves that son, because he\u2019s suppose to, it\u2019s expected and the son loves the father in return for the same reasons.<\/p>\n

But the rewards of that love between a father and his son, or sons,\u201d smiled Ben, looking at his own three sons, \u201ccomes with the trials and tribulations of a love that has been tested over the course of their lifetimes. Usually, as with the four of us, that devotion cannot be severed by another man, war, death, or simpler things, such as being stolen.<\/p>\n

Real father and son love grows from the day that the man becomes a father and the son is born. It suffers through many changes during the years and sometimes the way can be quite rocky and the road hard to travel. But at the end of that road, the man and his son come to a sort of understanding, a mutual respect for the other that paves the way for future generations of fathers and sons.<\/p>\n

I hope that what you\u2019ve learned Joseph, and you too Adam and you Hoss, is that a father\u2019s love for his son or sons, is a God given privileged that has to be earned and that the only way to earn that love is to show himself worthy.<\/p>\n

How? By loving his sons unconditionally, in all things and above all persons except his God and his wife. Only then can a son truthfully say that he has known the love of his father. As God loves us, His sons, our earthly fathers love their sons\u2026it\u2019s a gift, Joe, an honor bestowed upon me the day you were born, and definitely one of which I am most thankful for,\u201d smiled Ben.<\/p>\n

THE END
\nSeptember 2004<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: Young Toby’s parents have been killed in an accident, and Ben takes the boy under his wing. But Toby wants something that Joe has, and he sets out to take it away from the youngest Cartwright. Someone has been silently observing the goings on, does that person save for Joe, what Joe has feared most in his life of losing?<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 G (11,125 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9052,"featured_media":9859,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,30],"tags":[14,15,17,16],"class_list":["post-12094","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-prequels","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-ben","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-30-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1837,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/feature-2.jpg?fit=338%2C338&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13839,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13839","url_meta":{"origin":12094,"position":0},"title":"Toby (by HelenB)","author":"HelenB","date":"January 27, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Adam allows five year old Joe to bring home a stray dog, not knowing the heartache that will follow. Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0\u00a0 (5,260 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/storm.jpg?fit=615%2C407&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/storm.jpg?fit=615%2C407&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/storm.jpg?fit=615%2C407&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":30735,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=30735","url_meta":{"origin":12094,"position":1},"title":"I’ll Wait (by Sierras)","author":"Sierras","date":"October 28, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 The Cartwrights discover dangerous and unwanted company hiding out on the Ponderosa. Rating: PG Word Count: 7,031","rel":"","context":"In "Action\/Adventure"","block_context":{"text":"Action\/Adventure","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/squirrel-1.jpg?fit=201%2C224&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":18230,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=18230","url_meta":{"origin":12094,"position":2},"title":"Gusty Gumption (by PSW)","author":"PSW","date":"August 19, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: A little vignette following (at some point later) the events of 'A Dime's Worth of Glory'. Written for the Sept 1 Pinecone challenge and expanded for inclusion here. 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Rated:\u00a0K+\u00a0 Word count:\u00a0667 The Wheelchair Series, links to stories within the series are included.","rel":"","context":"In "Adam Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Adam Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1005"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Bird.jpg?fit=323%2C450&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6768,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6768","url_meta":{"origin":12094,"position":4},"title":"A Deadly Day (by rosecartwright)","author":"rosecartwright","date":"November 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Joe is home sick, but things go downhill for this young Cartwright. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (635 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/2-joe.jpg?fit=237%2C221&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10359,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10359","url_meta":{"origin":12094,"position":5},"title":"Hoss Defined (by bahj)","author":"bahj","date":"September 15, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: You'll find it under \"H\" in the dictionary :0) Rated: Family Friendly \/ Word count: 1140","rel":"","context":"In "Prequel"","block_context":{"text":"Prequel","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=30"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Hoss.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Hoss.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Hoss.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12094","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/9052"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12094"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12094\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9859"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12094"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12094"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12094"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}