{"id":12115,"date":"2005-11-01T11:26:01","date_gmt":"2005-11-01T16:26:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12115"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:10:35","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:10:35","slug":"beating-deaths-game-by-debbieb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12115","title":{"rendered":"Beating Death’s Game (by DebbieB)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong>\u00a0An unfortunate accident, leaves Joe Cartwright wishing he’d never been born.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/strong>\u00a0 PG (8,300 word)<\/p>\n

Beating Death’s Game<\/strong><\/p>\n

Paul Martin motioned for his friend to move out into the hallway with him where he could speak to the worried father quietly without disturbing his patient.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell?\u201d Ben said almost demanding to know his son\u2019s condition before the physician had finished closing the bedroom door.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not going to lie to you Ben, Joe\u2019s condition is worsening\u2026\u201d began Paul as he turned and faced the senior Cartwright.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut just the other day you said\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know what I said, that Joe was likely to pull through\u2026but that was then and this is now and things have changed\u2026\u201d Paul explained. \u201cHe doesn\u2019t want to get better\u2026he isn\u2019t even trying\u2026it\u2019s like he\u2019s\u2026stopped fighting, Ben. He\u2019s simply given up\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s ridiculous!\u201d stormed Ben, turning his back to the doctor.<\/p>\n

He had to hide the fear lest he betray himself. His friend\u2019s assumption was correct, Ben had known it would be\u2026he had seen his son\u2019s deterioration over the last couple of days, but he had been hoping that the skilled physician could do something\u2026anything, to prevent his son\u2019s death. The only thought in Ben\u2019s mind at that moment was the fact that Joe wasn\u2019t the only one giving up\u2026it seemed as if even his best friend, Doctor Paul Martin, had given up as well.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Ben\u2026\u201d Paul said, gently placing his hand on his long time friend\u2019s shoulder. \u201cI\u2019ve done all I can to help the boy\u2026it isn\u2019t up to me anymore\u2026it\u2019s up to Joseph\u2026and God. Joe has to be made to understand that what happened was not his fault\u2026that it was an accident\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben spun around, his eyes dark with impassioned anger. \u201cHe gunned him down\u2026shot him purposely, one bullet at a time, slowly so that he could watch my son suffer. And with each gunshot, that bastard accused him, he blamed him, he broke Joseph down not only physically but that scoundrel played on that boy\u2019s already fragile emotions until he had no desire to live\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, I know that\u2026but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe had already just about given up ever being able to forgive himself\u2026I almost had Little Joe convinced and then that man came along and he pushed that boy over the edge, Paul\u2026he might have just as well murdered my son! And now Joseph\u2019s beyond my reach\u2026and yours and most likely even God\u2019s!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben walked back into the room and closed the door, leaving the physician standing alone in the hallway. Paul let the air expel from his lungs, paused and then breathed in deeply as he made his way down the stairs.<\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss stood to their feet. They had been waiting downstairs for the doctor\u2019s verdict, though each young man had thoughts of their own on the matter.<\/p>\n

Paul saw the expectant looks in the eyes of both men. He knew they feared the worst for their brother and he hated more than anything to be the one to confirm those fears. Lowering his head, unable to look either directly in the eyes, Paul shook his head as he continued towards the door. Hoss glanced quickly at his older brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc, wait a minute,\u201d Adam said following Paul across the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Adam, Hoss\u2026but it\u2019s as I\u2019ve explained to your father\u2026Little Joe has given up\u2026there\u2019s nothing more medically that I can do for him. If he\u2019s going to live, then he has to want to live\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss scrunched up his face. \u201cWhat do ya mean by that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul slipped on his coat and reached for his hat. \u201cJust that I can\u2019t make Little Joe want to live\u2026Hoss, he\u2019s stopped trying, stopped fighting\u2026and now, he\u2019s given up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa mean, he wants to die?\u201d stammered Hoss.<\/p>\n

Paul\u2019s hand was on the latch. As he pulled the heavy oak door opened, he paused and glanced back at Hoss and nodded his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid so, Hoss\u2026I\u2019m afraid so\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat don\u2019t make no sense a\u2019tall,\u201d muttered Hoss, staring at the closed door.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

Hoss turned around as Adam moved to the foot of the staircase, resting his hand on the end post.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt just don\u2019t\u2026that\u2019s why,\u201d Hoss answered. \u201c\u2019Sides Adam, Joe ain\u2019t no quitter.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026not in most cases,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

He turned to look eye to eye to his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut in this case, he blames himself for that young woman dying\u2026he\u2019s consumed with guilt\u2026he\u2019s filled with self-abomination\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026it t\u2019weren\u2019t Little Joe\u2019s fault\u2026it was an accident\u2026Joe said as much when he got back into town and explained to Roy and then to us about what happened\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that,\u201d Adam said. He had started up the steps but stopped on the landing to look back down at Hoss. \u201cAnd you know that\u2026trouble is, Little Joe knows it, but he doesn\u2019t want to believe it\u2026he can\u2019t see beyond the fact that he holds himself accountable\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026\u201d Hoss interrupted, \u201cJoe was only trying to protect himself\u2026and that lady\u2026he didn\u2019t know she was\u2026ere\u2026the woman what got kilt\u2026Joe didn\u2019t mean to do that! She was shoved in front of him\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam continued upward; Hoss followed somberly behind saying nothing more on the matter, for what else could he say? Together they entered the room where Joe lay upon his bed, eyes closed to the world around him and the man who sat solemnly at his side, holding tightly to his cold and clammy hand.<\/p>\n

As Adam and Hoss entered the room, Ben barely glanced up. His sons moved to the bed; Hoss pulled up another chair and sat opposite his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cAny change?\u201d he whispered, glancing from Joe\u2019s pale, colorless face to his father\u2019s worried, tormented expression.<\/p>\n

Glancing again at Hoss, Ben shook his head no.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve tried talking to him, but\u2026when he\u2019s awake, he just won\u2019t listen to me. He still feels responsible,\u201d Ben muttered.<\/p>\n

Adam heard his father make a sobbing sound deep in his throat.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said he just wants to die\u2026that he doesn\u2019t deserve to live\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben released his son\u2019s hand and stood, stretched and walked slowly to the window where he pulled back the thick brocade drapes. For several long moments he gazed out the window, watching his son\u2019s pinto in the corral below. His troubled thoughts caused him to wonder if his son would ever again ride the horse that had been a special gift from himself to his youngest son on his sixteenth birthday. The thought that he might never again see the boy swing into the saddle and ride recklessly across the fields caused Ben\u2019s heart to skip a beat. With head lowered and a well of tears blinding his vision, Ben whispered a muted prayer.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, God,\u201d he murmured softly, \u201cI need your help\u2026I need a miracle\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

The hours seemed to drag by, yet Ben refused to leave his son\u2019s side. Several times during the course of the night, Joe had awaken, looked into his father\u2019s ebony, sad eyes but then had closed his own and slipped once more into the dark world of forgetfulness.<\/p>\n

Ben sat back in the chair that had been pulled to the bed\u2019s edge and leaned back his head. He knew he should try to rest, but the troubling thoughts that invaded his mind forbid him to do so. Over and over again the sad, heartbreaking incident was played and replayed until Ben felt more as if he had actually been there rather than to have heard the story told by his son when he had brought in the stage carrying the woman and the driver\u2019s bodies.<\/p>\n

Eventually, Ben\u2019s eyelids began to grow heavy until at last he was no longer able to keep them open. Almost instantly, the story began to unfold before his mind\u2019s eye\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n

Ben turned from the ticket window and handed the ticket to Joe, who was standing with his brothers on the boardwalk, waiting for the stage driver to announce that it was time to go.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere you go son,\u201d Ben grinned. \u201cYou behave yourself,\u201d he teased lightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026and see if\u2019n ya can stay outta trouble this time,\u201d Hoss said good-naturedly.<\/p>\n

A young woman squeezed between the four men, excusing herself as she eased up to the stage. Adam nudged Hoss gently with his elbow and nodded his head at Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like you\u2019re going to have company,\u201d he said in a whispered voice.<\/p>\n

Joe grinned from ear to ear at his family, finally pulling his eyes away from the lovely young woman.<\/p>\n

\u201cHmm\u2026I might not be sorry I drew the shortest match after all,\u201d he said smugly.<\/p>\n

\u201cLOAD UP!\u201d the driver called.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, you take care now, you hear?\u201d Ben said as he shook his son\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, Pa\u2026I\u2019m a big boy now\u2026\u201d Little Joe said with a snicker.<\/p>\n

\u201cSee ya, Joe,\u201d Hoss said, bidding his brother good-bye.<\/p>\n

\u201cStay out of trouble,\u201d Adam warned.<\/p>\n

Joe turned to offer his hand to the lady, who smiled warmly at him as he helped her into the coach. Minutes later, the coach rolled out of town leaving Joe\u2019s family waving goodbye.<\/p>\n

The morning past quickly, as Joe and the young woman wiled away the hours as if they had been friends for a very long time. Joe learned the lady\u2019s name was Marge Burton and that she was on her way to Sacramento to meet her husband who had gone before her to start a new job at the newspaper and to find them a place to live.<\/p>\n

Marge had even confided with Joe that her husband of four years had recently been released from prison and that they were trying to start over again and put the pieces of their lives back together. Joe had questioned Marge as to why her husband had gone to prison, but the question had left Marge quiet as she stared out the window at the passing scenery.<\/p>\n

After a long silence, Marge turned to Joe and quietly explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou see, Mr. Cartwright, Joe\u2026about two years ago, my husband, Allen worked at a bank in St. Louis, as a teller. He had access to great amounts of money, so when I had fallen sick and needed an operation, having no funds of our own, Allen had stolen the money from the bank. Naturally, I knew nothing of this until later\u2026my husband was arrested, tried and convicted and sent to prison\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cApparently, he didn\u2019t spent too much time there,\u201d Joe commented.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026Mr. Morrison, the banker, pleaded Allen\u2019s case, saying he had been desperate, that the operation was needed or I would have died\u2026and he explained to the judge that basically my husband was an honest man\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo the judge was lenient with him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes\u2026thank God\u2026we have been through so much together\u2026we lost a child about a year after we were married\u2026and then our crops were destroyed in a storm and we were forced to sell the farm\u2026that\u2019s when we moved into town and Allen went to work for the bank. It was only about six months after he started working there that I became sick\u2026and needed an operation. Poor Allen\u2026he was at his wit\u2019s end\u2026we were living in one room at the boarding house with very little money coming in. Prison was very hard on Allen, Joe\u2026it made him a hard man\u2026he isn\u2019t the same sweet, gentle man he once was. Now he\u2019s bitter and seems driven by some inner force\u2026his temper is quick and sometimes\u2026I think if I wasn\u2019t around, he\u2019d go mad\u2026I worry about what might happen to him if I were to die before he does\u2026\u201d Marge sighed deeply and then smiled warmly at Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, I didn\u2019t mean to rattle on and on about my problems\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t need to apologize\u2026everyone needs someone to talk to now and then\u2026\u201d grinned Joe.<\/p>\n

Only briefly did Joe wonder about the man that Marge was married to. He could not picture the lovely young woman married to a hardened man, thinking only that the kindness and love in which this woman spoke of her husband, should have been enough to erase any bitterness that Allen Burton might have felt. Joe understood how certain instances in life could change a man, but he was still young enough to believe that the love of a good woman could counteract any such misfortunes. Marge\u2019s husband was a lucky man, Joe determined.<\/p>\n

The stage stopped for lunch shortly after the noon hour, giving the two passengers time to eat a quick bite at the way station and time enough to stretch their legs. Soon after, they were on their way again and it was no more than an hour before the pleasant afternoon was interrupted.<\/p>\n

The stage suddenly began picking up speed, tossing it\u2019s passengers brutally around in their seats.<\/p>\n

\u201cSomething\u2019s wrong,\u201d Joe said in a worried voice.<\/p>\n

He stuck his head out the window, finding the cause.<\/p>\n

\u201cOutlaws,\u201d he muttered, causing the woman to scream.<\/p>\n

Joe pulled his head back through the window and gently squeezed the lady\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n

\u201cTake it easy\u2026we\u2019ll be alright. You hang on now and stay low, I\u2019m going overhead to help the driver\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

And with that, Joe opened the door and climbed on top, quickly pulling his gun from his holster and began firing at the three masked bandits. It was a futile effort for both the driver and his companion, for minutes later the driver fell forward, shot in the back.<\/p>\n

Joe quickly holstered his gun in efforts to grab the reins of the run away team, thus giving the bandits the opportunity to overpower the runaway team and bring the coach to a grinding halt.<\/p>\n

Instantly, Joe\u2019s hand went for his pistol.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t try it, sonny, lessen ya aimin\u2019 on dyin\u2019!\u201d shouted one of the masked men.<\/p>\n

Joe, realizing the severity of the situation and thinking of the woman\u2019s safety, quickly put both hands in the air.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s better\u2026now, toss down those guns\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe quickly complied.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow the strong box.\u201d<\/p>\n

Only briefly did Joe hesitate. Eyeing the man who held a gun pointed directly at him and watching another man who suddenly pulled the young woman from the coach, Joe responded and tossed down the moneybox.<\/p>\n

\u201cClimb down from there,\u201d the bandit ordered.<\/p>\n

Again, Joe did as instructed, moving to the woman\u2019s side. Marge cringed slightly as the robber who had pulled her from the coach, moved to face her, grabbing her arm. The other two men were busy with the strongbox, stuffing the contents into their pockets and paying little attention to their partner.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy, my will ya\u2026lookit what we got here,\u201d he snarled, showing his yellowed crooked teeth.<\/p>\n

He surprised the woman by grabbing a broach that she wore and ripped it from her lapel. Marge cried out, making the man laugh in her face. When the bandit leaned down and tried to snatch a kiss, Joe felt himself bristle and shoved the man away, causing the would-be robber to drop his pistol.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you leave her alone!\u201d shouted Joe as the man tumbled sideways.<\/p>\n

Joe, seeing his own gun lying on the ground, made a sudden dive for the weapon. He grabbed it, rolled over and pointed it at the man who had suddenly regained his footing. As Joe pulled back on the trigger and fired, the man unexpectedly grabbed the woman and shoved her towards Joe.<\/p>\n

The shot rang loud in Joe\u2019s ears but not nearly as loud as his pounding heart did when he saw Marge suddenly slump forward and fall to the ground. Stunned, Joe was momentarily distracted, giving the man time to mount his horse, turn to the others and shout a warning.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get the hell outta here\u2026the kid done shot that woman!\u201d he roared as he and his two companions fled the scene.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh God!\u201d sputtered Joe as he crawled forward and gathered the dying Marge into his arms.<\/p>\n

She was barely breathing as Joe cradled her head in his lap.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m so sorry\u2026\u201d he cried, tears forming in his hazel eyes.<\/p>\n

Marge was barely able to clutch Joe\u2019s arm with her long slender fingers. Her glazed eyes focused on his face; her voice was weak as she struggled to get out her words.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t\u2026your\u2026fault\u2026Joe,\u201d Marge breathed. \u201cTell Allen\u2026I\u2026\u2026love\u2026.him\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

Marge\u2019s head rolled to the side as the last breath within her lungs expelled forth. A loud cry gargled deep within Joe\u2019s throat and suddenly burst forth in a loud, piercing screech of agony at what he had committed.<\/p>\n

\u201cNOOOOOO!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe moaned softly, causing Ben to forget his thoughts as he leaned down and brushed back a damp, wayward curl from his son\u2019s forehead.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here, son,\u201d Ben whispered softly.<\/p>\n

Joe opened his eyes and gazed up at his father. His expression was haunting and sad. In the troubled hazel eyes, Ben saw the self-hate and the sorrow that had long since become the norm.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, please son, you have to fight\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Almost painfully, Joe moved his head slowly back and forth, hushing his father\u2019s words.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026\u201d Joe mumbled, \u201cI\u2026don\u2019t deserve\u2026to live.\u201d<\/p>\n

His eyes remained fixed on his father\u2019s face, but tears blinded him to the older man\u2019s features. When he blinked, the tiny beads rolled from the corners of his eyes, downward.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026killed\u2026that lady\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh son\u2026\u201d Ben pleaded, \u201cThat was an accident\u2026you didn\u2019t mean to hurt her\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKilled her\u2026not\u2026hurt her\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStill Joseph, it wasn\u2019t your fault\u2026she was shoved and just happened to stumble into the path of your bullet\u2026listen to me\u2026you can\u2019t blame yourself\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHer husband\u2026was right\u2026I shouldn\u2019t have made a\u2026play for my gun\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHer husband was a lunatic, son\u2026he was\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026he\u2026loved her\u2026I took her\u2026away from him\u2026I don\u2019t deserve to live\u2026\u201d muttered Joe as he closed his eyes and turned his head away, thus ending the conversation.<\/p>\n

Ben disgusted and fearing the self-destruction his son had set for himself, straightened and turned from the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s stuck in his grief and guilt, Pa,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

Adam had entered the room just as his brother had made the statement. Concerned for his father, he moved to stand behind him, placing a reassuring hand on the senior Cartwright\u2019s back. Ben\u2019s head was bent low but he slowly turned to face his son.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that\u2026but there has to be a way to make him understand that what happened was an accident\u2026if only that man hadn\u2019t done to Little Joe, what he did\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can\u2019t undo what\u2019s already happened, Pa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath that caused his chest to swell.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but I\u2019ll tell you what I\u2019d like to do\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes grew wide, hate appeared from nowhere, causing Adam to flinch slightly at the intensity of what he read in the dark crystals of his father\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI swear to you, Adam, if Joseph dies, I\u2019ll kill that man\u2026if it\u2019s the last thing I ever do\u2026I\u2019ll kill him\u2026I\u2019ll drag him out of Roy\u2019s jail and I\u2019ll make him suffer, I\u2019ll make him pay for what he\u2019s done!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026you can\u2019t be serious\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t I? You just watch me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben moved around his son and returned to the bed where he stood, gazing down at the dying boy.<\/p>\n

\u201cI swear on\u2026all three of my wives graves, if Joseph dies, I\u2019ll kill that bastard slowly\u2026I\u2019ll make him suffer every bit as much as he\u2019s made Little Joe suffer\u2026and if I hang for it, then so be it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Saying nothing more, Ben stomped from the room. Adam, stunned by his father\u2019s vicious words, stood a moment longer, glanced down at his brother and then followed Ben from the room.<\/p>\n

Slowly, Joe\u2019s eyes opened. More tears formed in the hollow depths and then dripped from the corners, onto the white pillowcase beneath his head. His fingers rolled into tight balls, forming fists, his tired, frail body became rigid as he clenched his jaw defiantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026Pa\u2026please\u2026no,\u201d he murmured, too weak to cry aloud.<\/p>\n

Downstairs, Ben had collapsed into the hard folds of the settee. His head was propped on the red pillow beneath his head. One arm was folded over his eyes and forehead. Adam paused to take in the sight saddened by his father\u2019s apparent lack of control over the equally saddened state his younger brother had allowed himself to sink into. It worried Adam that maybe his father, like Little Joe, was giving up.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLeave me alone, son,\u201d snapped Ben.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, Ben moved his forearm away from his face, uncovering his eyes so that he might see into Adam\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Adam\u2026I don\u2019t mean to snap at you\u2026but I have some thinking to do, plans to make\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam moved to the square table and sat down on the edge to that he might be able to speak with his father. A near panic like feeling gripped at his heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease tell me you aren\u2019t plotting against Allen Burton for what he did to Little Joe?\u201d Adam asked in a near pleading voice.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes strayed from his son\u2019s face. His voice was tight and low, threatening.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd if I was?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen I\u2019d have to beg you not to,\u201d Adam stated firmly and without hesitation.<\/p>\n

Ben slowly drew his eyes to his son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat good would it do to kill the man? For that matter, what good do you think you\u2019d be doing Hoss and I, if you killed the man and hung for it\u2026don\u2019t you think we\u2019d have lost enough, by Joe\u2019s death if he doesn\u2019t snap out of this? Are you so filled with hate that you could seek revenge in such a manner\u2026as to purposely murder a man and then disgrace us by getting yourself hung\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

By this time, Adam, over-wrought with both anger and fear, had stood up, hands shoved deeply into his pockets in an effort to refrain from striking out physically at the man whom had always, until that second, been his hero, the man he most admired and looked up to\u2026and trusted\u2026loved deeply without ever questioning the man\u2019s motives\u2026until now.<\/p>\n

Ben swallowed hard as he pushed himself into a sitting position.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph doesn\u2019t deserve to die,\u201d Ben said lowly as he rose to his feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cNeither did that woman, neither does Allen Burton\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes grew dark.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt least not by your hands\u2026he\u2019s going to prison, Pa\u2026for what he\u2019s already done\u2026he\u2019s lost his wife\u2026an accident, but nonetheless, lost her\u2026Joe\u2019s suffering insurmountable guilt and no doubt great shame\u2026don\u2019t you think we\u2019ve all suffered\u2026not just the Burton\u2019s, but ourselves as well\u2026it has to stop somewhere, whether Joe lives or dies\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben stomped passed Adam to stand before the fireplace. His back was to his son. Fragments of the conversation with his youngest son, when he was found shot three times, lying in the stall in his own barn, the barrel of a pistol pressed into his temple, cocked and ready to fire\u2026came pushing their way into his thoughts\u2026\u2026.
\n\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben said softly, his voice filled with compassion. \u201cYou have to stop blaming yourself\u2026it was an accident.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben had sat down next to Joe who had been sitting on the hearth seeming to be brewing and lost in deep thought. His father had no need to ask his son about what, Ben already knew the answer for Joe had been fretting about the accident for nearly two weeks now, ever since it had happened. Ben watched as Joe swiped his hand across the front of his face. It was evident that instead of getting better, Joe seemed to be sinking deeper and deeper into a state of depression.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just can\u2019t seem to get it out of my mind, Pa\u2026\u201d Joe stated.<\/p>\n

His words were broken, as if they were stuck in his throat and he was having a hard time forcing them out.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, son, but you have to try\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have tried, Pa\u2026but the memory won\u2019t go away. Every time I shut my eyes, I see the look on Marge\u2019s face when the bullet\u2026my bullet\u2026struck her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe buried his face in his hands. Deep from the back of his throat, he made a moaning sound as if his heart were breaking. Ben slipped his arm across the back of the younger man\u2019s shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have to find her husband, Pa\u2026I have to explain to him what happened\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy\u2019s already sent a wire to him in Sacramento, Joe\u2026he should have been here long before now,\u201d Ben explained.<\/p>\n

Joe looked up at last.<\/p>\n

\u201cI should have gone there\u2026taken\u2026her body\u2026to him\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think it\u2019s better that he comes here, son. She\u2019s buried in a lovely spot\u2026I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll be grateful\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head in disgust. When he looked at his father, Ben could see the misery and dread that clouded the usually bright, glowing expression in the deep emeralds of the boy\u2019s eyes. His tone, when he spoke was sarcastic.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll be grateful\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stood to his feet and walked part way across the room, then stopped and turned around.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust how grateful do you think he\u2019ll be when he finds out I gunned down the woman he loved, in cold blood?\u201d growled Joe.<\/p>\n

Now it was Ben\u2019s time to stand up and be disgusted. He gave Joe a serious look.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be ridiculous, Roy explained in the telegraph that she was killed accidentally during a stage robbery. Surely the man will understand that it wasn\u2019t intentional\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s voice softened as he peered at the forlorn look on his son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, I know you wish you could turn back the clock and do things differently\u2026we all wish that at some awful times in our lives, but we can\u2019t do that. What happened\u2026was an accident\u2026that you did not cause. Please, Joe, for me\u2026won\u2019t you try to put all of this behind you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe sighed deeply, letting the air rush from his lungs. He was so tired, so weary from all of it. Perhaps his father was right, maybe it was time to move on. Marge\u2019s death had been an accident, she had even tried to make him understand that herself, minutes before she had died. Marge had understood\u2026and had forgiven him, shouldn\u2019t he at least try to forgiven himself?<\/p>\n

Joe gave his father a small, strained smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Pa\u2026I\u2019ll try\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

One could see the relief on Ben\u2019s face as he returned the gesture.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s all that I ask, is that you try. I promise you son, it will get better\u2026but it takes time\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTime\u2026it\u2019s always time, isn\u2019t it, Pa?\u201d Joe asked. His lips were pinched tightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cTime is the healer of all injuries, son\u2026trust me, you\u2019ll see,\u201d smiled Ben\u2026\u2026.<\/p>\n

Hoss came into the bedroom, bringing a tray with his father\u2019s meal. Carefully, he placed it on the table and then gently nudged his father who had fallen to sleep in the chair next to Joe\u2019s bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing sent your supper up, Pa,\u201d he said as Ben opened his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you son, but I\u2019m not hungry,\u201d Ben said as he straightened and instantly turned his attention to Joe.<\/p>\n

Hoss stood back and watched as his father dampened a cloth in the China bowl and then dapped at his brother\u2019s brow. The colorless appearance of his brother\u2019s face was more than Hoss could bear to look at. He gulped.<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t he ate no supper, Pa?\u201d Hoss said as he lifted the lid to the tray that had been brought up earlier for his brother. It was obvious by the collection of the think layer of grease on the top of the broth that his brother\u2019s meal had grown cold.<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cI can\u2019t get him to take one bite\u2026he refuses to eat, Hoss. And he\u2019s growing weaker and weaker\u2026he can\u2019t keep this up much longer,\u201d Ben worried aloud.<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t there nuthin\u2019 we can do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve done all I know to do, so has the doctor. Paul says it\u2019s up to Joe whether he lives or dies\u2026.but there\u2019s one thing I aim on doing\u2026\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

Hoss noticed the change in his father\u2019s tone and saw the dark eyes deepen as the spark of hate flickered to life.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to kill Allen Burton for doing this to my boy,\u201d Ben stated with no hesitation. \u201cSo help me God!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you can\u2019t do that\u2026they\u2019ll hang ya if\u2019n ya go gunnin\u2019 for that man\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben returned the cloth to the cool water and rung it out.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

His voice sounded strange, so unlike his own, that Hoss felt his body quiver with fear. Something about the way his father spoke the words and the language of his body assured Hoss that his father would do as he had declared, if Joe died. The big man had never seen his father so consumed with ill will and animosity before or to such a degree. He\u2019d best go have a talk with Adam; maybe Adam could get through to their father.<\/p>\n

Hoss failed to see his younger brother\u2019s eyes open slightly and stare up at their father. For that matter, Ben, in his anger, also failed to see the shocked expression on the boy\u2019s face. Something from deep down with in the young man\u2019s heart and soul flickered, stirring his conscious but he had grown so weak from lack of nourishment that he could not force the words he longed to speak, to become voiced and be heard. By the time that Ben leaned down again, Joe\u2019s eyes had closed in sleep. Sighing deeply and feeling helpless, Ben returned to collapse once more into the comforts of the chair, lost again in his worries and recollections of what had transpired to bring his son to this low point in his young life\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n

Joe led his horse slowly from his stable. His father and brothers had left earlier to work the cattle in the north pasture, leaving Joe to come along when he was ready. The boy was unaware of the man who stood in the doorway until he glanced up. The bright light behind the man obscured his vision so that Joe was unable to make out the man\u2019s features enough to know who the man was.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

The voice was deep, unfamiliar. Now knowing that the man was a stranger, Joe moved from Cochise\u2019s side, into full view of the visitor.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho wants to know?\u201d Joe asked as he slowly moved his hand down to his side where his fingers brushed against his pistol.<\/p>\n

Joe squinted his eyes in an effort to see the man\u2019s face. Silently, his fingers unleashed the tiny strap that held his pistol in the holster. Carefully he slipped the gun from its carrying case, feeling a wee bit of uneasiness in the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, and unexpectedly, the man moved to his right, into the deep shadows of the barn, concealed from Joe\u2019s vision. Before Joe could react, he heard a loud, piercing blast and felt a sharp stab of pain penetrate his left forearm. The force of the bullet caused Joe\u2019s body to be whipped around thus forcing the weapon from his hand.<\/p>\n

As Joe hit the ground, his gun was flung out of his reach. His right hand clung tightly to the bleeding wound in his other arm. He moaned in pain, searching hungrily for his missing weapon. A dark shadow moved over him, stopping his movements. When he looked up, the man\u2019s face was shadowed by the absence of light in the barn.<\/p>\n

\u201cMURDER!\u201d screamed the man loudly, causing his voice to echo against the hollow walls of the Cartwright barn. \u201cYOU KILLED HER!\u201d he ranted as he kicked out a Joe with the sharp toe of his boot.<\/p>\n

The movement caught Joe in his mid-section and caused him to cry out.<\/p>\n

\u201cDID YOU GET A KICK OUT OF WATCHING HER DIE?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho?\u201d shouted Joe, \u201cI haven\u2019t killed anyone!\u201d he proclaimed as he struggled to get up.<\/p>\n

Another shrill blast followed by a second piercing jolt of pain to his right arm caused Joe to scream out in agony. His right arm fell away from his other arm, as useless as his left. With his heels, he dug into the hard packed earth; using his shoulders for support, he tried forcing his body to scoot backwards, away from the man who moved slowly along the same path, following in his menacing way.<\/p>\n

\u201cI LOVED HER, YOU BASTARD\u2026AND YOU TOOK HER FROM ME! NOW, IT\u2019S YOUR TIME TO FEEL THE PAIN\u2026TO HURT\u2026TO SUFFER\u2026YOUR FAMILY WILL LEARN WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO LOSE SOMEONE THEY LOVED!!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe swallowed hard, pushing the intense throbbing from his mind to try to focus on the man standing over him. The light had changed giving Joe the first glimpse of his attacker\u2019s face. The man was no older than he, but the hardened, distorted expressions on his assailant\u2019s face gave the stranger the appearance of being much older.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know who\u2026or what\u2026you\u2019re talking about,\u201d stammered Joe, as he lay bleeding upon the ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cMY WIFE\u2026MY BEAUTIFUL, LOVING\u2026WIFE\u2026THAT\u2019S WHO!\u201d the man screamed as he waved his gun under Joe\u2019s nose.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour wife?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe fought against the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach as he tried to moved away, but the man grabbed him by the front of the shirt and dragged him deeper into the bowels of the barn where he released him in the furthermost stall where no light gave a hint to the man\u2019s next move. Under him, Joe could feel the fresh hay that had been spread about. The sweet scent as his blood dripped onto the straw was almost sickening. Joe glanced over his head; there was no place to go, no escape. He watched as the man backed up, still waving his gun in a frantic manner.<\/p>\n

\u201cIF YOU HADN\u2019T TRIED TO PLAY HERO\u2026MARGE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Marge! Joe\u2019s thoughts screamed over and over in his head until he thought his head would burst. He looked up, not really seeing the man\u2019s face, but he had no need, he knew that the man who towered over him was Marge\u2019s husband, Allen Burton, bent on revenge!<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re gonna die, Cartwright\u2026you don\u2019t deserve to live\u2026she was worth a hundred of you\u2026maybe more! But you took her from me\u2026did you know, Mr. Hero, that she was carrying my child?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe felt as if an arrow had just pierced his heart. Marge, for all that she had shared with him, had not mentioned being with child. He swallowed hard, his throat too thick to speak. In the dark, he shook his head no\u2026he hadn\u2019t known\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re a woman killer, Cartwright\u2026a baby murdered\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAUGH!!!\u201d screamed Joe as a third bullet ripped into his body, this time in the upper right thigh.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s head rolled from side to side as he cried out in anguish. The man\u2019s words had branded themselves on his heart, more cutting and burning hotter than the bullets that had torn his flesh. The image of Marge\u2019s happy, glowing face flickered before his mind\u2019s eyes, revealing her happiness and her excitement of being reunited with her husband.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s breathing had become labored; his entire body was ablaze with an excruciating fiery sensation. He groaned piteously but the man ignored his pain.<\/p>\n

\u201cScum, lowlife murdering bastard\u2026you aren\u2019t fit to wipe my feet on,\u201d growled the stranger in a deep, ominous voice.<\/p>\n

Allen Burton squatted down close to Joe. In the man\u2019s eyes, Joe could see the burning hatred. He had little doubt that the man would soon kill him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026didn\u2019t\u2026mean\u2026to kill\u2026your wife\u2026\u201d Joe sputtered.<\/p>\n

The pain was becoming unbearable; he was growing weak from the loss of blood and his world was beginning to spin before him.<\/p>\n

\u201cLiar\u2026\u201d chirped Burton.<\/p>\n

Allen wiped his hand across his face, removing the dampness that threatened to obscure his vision. He wanted to see the pain in the eyes of his wife\u2019s killer; he drew satisfaction from watching the man\u2019s life\u2019s blood seep slowly from his wounds. He felt elated by watching the young man suffer.<\/p>\n

A moment later, Joe\u2019s struggle to stay conscious began to wane. His long lashes fluttered. Allen appeared to become agitated by the fact; he lashed out with the barrel of his pistol, striking Joe across the face and leaving a long red welt in its wake.<\/p>\n

\u201cSTAY AWAKE, DAMN YOU!!\u201d he screamed at Joe.<\/p>\n

Joe struggled to open his eyes.<\/p>\n

Allen had his fingers entwined in the chestnut curls as he yanked back on Joe\u2019s head making it impossible for Joe to wrench free. The end of his tormentor\u2019s pistol was now pressed firmly against his temple. Joe\u2019s chin sagged, forcing his mouth open. In his ear he could feel Allen\u2019s hot breath as his words continued to ridicule and degrade him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s it feel like, murderer\u2026knowing you killed a pregnant woman\u2026?\u201d Allen pulled harder on Joe\u2019s hair, forcing his wife\u2019s killer to moan softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re going to go to hell\u2026does that scare you, Cartwright\u2026it should\u2026they say its hot down there\u2026people burn forever and there\u2019s no relief\u2026you long for a cool drop of water but there is none\u2026you\u2019re shaking, Cartwright\u2026?\u201d sneered Burton with an evil, wicked laugh.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s chin had begun to quiver; tears of pain and guilt filled his eyes, but he refused to allow the crazed man to see him cry.<\/p>\n

\u201cKill me\u2026.\u201d Joe practically begged. \u201cJust get it\u2026over\u2026with\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

When Burton cocked the trigger on his pistol, it sounded like a cannon blast to Joe. He cringed, squeezing his eyes tightly shut.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you burn hotter than the worst of them\u2026because you are the worst\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Burton moved slightly. Joe flinched and then\u2026\u2026.<\/p>\n

Suddenly Joe felt his body sag to the ground. The smell of hay seemed to be hovering above his head, over-powering his rationalization and in the distance he could hear someone talking, arguing, muddled and undistinguishable. He tried to focus his attention on those voices, frightened\u2026tormented\u2026but a shot interrupted his concentration, shattering the sounds\u2026hands grabbled at his body. Terrified, dazed and sure that he was dead, Joe screamed in fear of the Devil, as he felt his upper body being tilted forward but the pain that surged throughout his body reeked havoc with his senses. Everything within his world began to spin out of control, including the faces that appeared before him.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe strained to stay alert, but the spinning continued until at last Joe succumbed to the blackness that had lured him away from the anguish in his body and the disquieting and horrid truths that had been screamed at him by his attacker. His head lolled to one side, pressing against the broad chest of the man who so tenderly cradled him in his arms.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s fainted\u2026Hoss, help me get him inside. Adam, take that man into town and turn him over to the sheriff, tell him what\u2019s been going on here and send Doc Martin out. Joe\u2019s lost a lot of blood\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss carefully helped his father lift Joe\u2019s body from the barn floor and carried him to the house. Adam, his gun still aimed at his brother\u2019s attacker, shoved the man toward the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet moving,\u201d he ordered Allen.<\/p>\n

Allen gave the Cartwrights a menacing glare, angered that Joe\u2019s family had unexpectedly returned, but he did as instructed. Slowly, he walked from the barn, shoulders slumped in defeat; not once did he look back at the man whom he had shot and whose heart he had ripped apart, piece by tiny piece. Once Allen Burton had mounted up, Adam tied the man\u2019s hands together in front of him and then tied them a second time to the pommel so that Allen could not make a getaway.<\/p>\n

\u201cHurry, Adam,\u201d Ben called as he disappeared into the house.<\/p>\n

The days and nights afterward had begun to blend together. Ben remained at his son\u2019s side, encouraging, prompting and begging his son not to let the words and actions of an angry, grief-stricken man destroy him. But nothing he said could wipe from the young man\u2019s memory nor his heart, the crushing and insulting verbal attack rendered by Allen Burton. Joe deemed it more excruciating than the three bullet wounds that had ripped apart his body.<\/p>\n

In the deepest recesses of his mind, Joe could picture the lovely Marge Burton and her happy, carefree expression so doused in love for the man whom she was to be reunited with. And then, the harsh, biting knowledge that Marge had been expecting a baby had taken its toll on the youngest Cartwright, who already suffered with guilt over the unfortunate accident. Ben feared his son was beyond help in that Joe had sunk so deeply into despair that nothing short of a miracle could save his son. Little did the elder Cartwright realize that he had, without his knowing, begun the process of such a miracle\u2026
\nBen opened his eyes, for a movement on the bed had awakened him. Joe was tossing his head from side to side, fighting the demons that tormented his thoughts. Quickly, Ben dampened a cloth and applied it to his son\u2019s forehead, wiping the tiny beads of moisture from the young man\u2019s brow.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026no\u2026\u201d Joe moaned.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u201d Ben cooed in his deep, tender voice. \u201cOpen your eyes, son\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes\u2026I\u2019m here, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026you\u2026can\u2019t do\u2026it\u2026please, Pa\u2026please,\u201d Joe beseeched as he tried to focus his eyes on his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s expression showed his bewilderment; he drew himself closer to the bed\u2019s edge and leaned nearer to his son.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand, Joe\u2026what is it that you don\u2019t want me to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease\u2026no\u2026\u201d Joe breathed, barely making a sound.<\/p>\n

At that instant, the door opened and Hoss and Adam entered the room, circling the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s awake?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot quite\u2026but he\u2019s trying to open his eyes\u2026and he\u2019s trying to tell me something,\u201d Ben said, glancing at the other two men.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, come on, son\u2026open your eyes\u2026please\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

All three watched how the youngest member of the family strained to open his eyes but how miserably he failed in his attempt.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s too weak,\u201d muttered Adam. \u201cHe needs nourishment,\u201d he declared in a near angry tone. \u201cI\u2019ll be right back.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam hurried from the room while Ben and Hoss continued to encourage Joe to open his eyes. Minutes later, Adam returned carrying a tray containing a bowl of hot broth that he placed on the table next to the bed. He handed the bowl to his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cSee if you can get him to eat some of this,\u201d Adam suggested.<\/p>\n

Hoss propped Joe\u2019s head up a bit, using the pillows behind him. \u201cThere.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben moved to sit next to Joe and carefully lifted the spoon toward the boy\u2019s mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, open your mouth son\u2026you need to eat something\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

It seemed like forever that the spoon hung in balance against Joe\u2019s lower lip.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease\u2026for me, son\u2026open your mouth\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Slowly, the message seemed to get through and Joe did as requested. The result brought smiles to his brothers and father\u2019s faces.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood boy!\u201d beamed Ben, already dipping the spoon into the bowl for another try.<\/p>\n

Again Joe complied. This time, his eyes opened slightly, enough so that he could make out the man who was smiling at him. Weakly, Joe pushed the spoon from in front of his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026more\u2026\u201d he mumbled.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust one more bite\u2026\u201d Ben stated hopefully as he raised the spoon again.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026please\u2026we\u2026need to\u2026talk\u2026\u201d Joe said, fighting against the weakness that fought to claim him. \u201cI want you\u2026to\u2026make me\u2026a\u2026promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben placed the spoon back into the bowl and passed the dish to Hoss who set them on the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kind of promise, Joseph?\u201d Ben asked curiously.<\/p>\n

Joe leaned his weary head back against the pillows, closing his eyes momentarily as if unable to go on with the conversation. Several long silent seconds followed before anyone spoke. Ben glanced over at Adam and then up at Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph\u2026\u201d he said, waiting.<\/p>\n

Joe forced his eyes opened again, looking directly into his father\u2019s eyes. Ben noted that for the first time in several days, his son seemed to be able to focus more clearly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want you\u2026to promise me\u2026that you won\u2019t\u2026kill him\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

A heavy silence hung thick in the air. No one said a thing as all eyes centered on Ben\u2019s expression. It changed only slightly, but the only one who picked up on the difference was Adam, though he said nothing.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure I understand what you\u2019re asking, Joe?\u201d Ben said after a long pause.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, all the eyes moved to Joe, waiting expectantly for him to explain himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cBurton\u2026promise me\u2026Pa\u2026that no matter\u2026what, you\u2026won\u2019t kill\u2026him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe never wavered from his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s thoughts were racing, wondering how his son knew of the plans he had for the man who had made his son to suffer so.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes you think I\u2019d do such a thing?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cPromise me, Pa\u2026\u201d Joe\u2019s face wore a stern, troubled, almost pleading expression.<\/p>\n

Ben lowered his head, almost as if too ashamed to look his son directly in the eye.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t make that promise, Joseph\u2026don\u2019t ask me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2026have\u2026too\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u201d Ben blurted out and the quickly swallowed deeply to steady his nerves. \u201cNo\u2026I won\u2019t make such a promise\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease\u2026Pa\u2026\u201d Joe begged. \u201cI heard\u2026you swear\u2026to kill\u2026him.\u201d<\/p>\n

His eyes had begun to fill with tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026don\u2019t want you\u2026to hang\u2026and that\u2019s what\u2026will happen\u2026if you\u2026murder\u2026him\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s right you know, Pa,\u201d Adam said, butting in to add his two cents worth.<\/p>\n

Ben glared up at his eldest son.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou be quite!\u201d he demanded. Again he turned to Joe. \u201cOnly you can prevent me from murdering that man!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe?\u201d Joe blurted in a weak voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes you! You care little if you live or die\u2026why should I? It\u2019s because of Allen Burton that you quit being a man and started thinking like a little boy again\u2026believing that you could have prevented that woman\u2019s death. You knew nothing of her being with child when you tried to save her life\u2026Allen Burton was a troubled man to begin with\u2026his wife\u2019s death most likely pushed him over the edge, but that wasn\u2019t your fault. Things happen, Little Joe\u2026unpreventable things\u2026to all of us at times, things we\u2019d like to change or wish had never happened, but in most cases, such as this one, we\u2019re useless to do anything about them. But you\u2026look at you\u2026lying there, determine to die, caring nothing of how I feel about it, or how your brothers feel\u2026why should I care if I live or die? Why should I give a hoot how Adam or Hoss feel about me murdering that man or me hanging\u2026you don\u2019t care! What makes it right for you not to care whether you live or die and wrong for me not to care a wit about murdering a man and hanging for it!\u201d growled Ben. \u201cEither way, we\u2019ll both be death!!\u201d<\/p>\n

Deep inside he hated himself for the sudden wretchedness he saw on his son\u2019s face, knowing that he had caused it, adding more to the boy\u2019s current misery, but he had to shock the boy back to his senses. He hoped he hadn\u2019t gone too far, but these were drastic times and drastic times called for drastic measures.<\/p>\n

Tears slowly filled Joe\u2019s eyes, forcing him to turn away from his father. Tiny beads of water threatened to roll from the corners of both of Joe\u2019s eyes. Tenderly, Ben grasped Joe\u2019s chin in his hand and tilted the boy\u2019s head around and held it so that Joe was obliged to look at his father. In a calm voice that belied the tremors that caused his voice to be filled with passion, Ben spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to tell you something, Joseph, something that I probably haven\u2019t told you in a very long time. Listen closely and understand what I\u2019m going to say\u2026but most of all, believe it with all of your heart. No matter what\u2026no one\u2026absolutely no other person, on the face of this earth\u2026loves you more than I do\u2026never, ever let anyone try to make you believe otherwise because they would only be lying to you. I love you more than I love my own life\u2026so\u2026having said that\u2026I say to you now\u2026if you want me to continue on in good health\u2026and if you love me like you\u2019ve always claimed you have\u2026then you have to choose life. Forget about trying to die, instead Joseph, you have to live with yourself the very best way you know how in order to put what has happened, behind you. I will help you\u2026I will stand by you\u2026I will even hold you while you weep, if you need me to do so. I will stay by your bedside until all the nightmares have vanished and you can sleep peacefully\u2026I will do absolutely anything you ask me to do\u2026except that one thing. I love you that much, Joe\u2026no one else would do as much for you\u2026do you understand what I\u2019m saying, son? It is simply, learn to forgive yourself, so that I can stop hating\u2026because if you do not, not only do you die, but myself and Allen Burton as well\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s fingers relaxed so that Joe was free to move his head, but he did not. His eyes, glazed with tears, remained fixed on Ben\u2019s face. Joe raised his arm, clasping his father\u2019s arm with his fingers. Slowly both hands, young and old, slid together until each grasped the other. The younger man nodded his head as the tears spilled over and rolled freely down the front of his face. The crude, harsh words had found its target\u2026Ben had beat death\u2019s game and the prize was his son\u2019s life. It would not be an easy road back, but now Ben knew that Joe was ready for the journey.<\/p>\n

\u201cHelp me\u2026Pa\u2026please, I\u2019m so sorry\u2026help me\u2026\u201d sobbed Joe as he pulled himself upright and allowed his father\u2019s arms to entwine himself within their reassuring folds.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, son\u2026I know\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

For several long moments, Joe wept and then, still encased in the love that had miraculously brought him back from death\u2019s door, Joe slept. Ben raised his eyes toward heaven as his lips moved in silent thanks for the unexpected miracle that had saved both their lives.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

THE END<\/p>\n

November 2005<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0An unfortunate accident, leaves Joe Cartwright wishing he’d never been born.<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 PG (8,300 word)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9052,"featured_media":8478,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,41],"tags":[14,15,17,16],"class_list":["post-12115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-ben","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":3763,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/LJshadow1.jpg?fit=720%2C576&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":49493,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=49493","url_meta":{"origin":12115,"position":0},"title":"The Game of Revenge (by TinaO)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"April 22, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Synopsis:\u00a0Will man's need for revenge break the heart of the remaining Cartwrights? 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Rating:\u00a0 R\u00a0 (65,725 words) Due to subject matter contained in this series, the stories are only available via e:mail from the author -- ryjennie@comcast.net","rel":"","context":"In "Action\/Adventure"","block_context":{"text":"Action\/Adventure","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/4Cs.jpg?fit=400%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12136,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12136","url_meta":{"origin":12115,"position":3},"title":"The Rebirth of Joe Cartwright (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"August 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this story should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/feature-2.jpg?fit=338%2C338&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3482,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=3482","url_meta":{"origin":12115,"position":4},"title":"Killing Cartwrights (by freyakendra)","author":"freyakendra","date":"October 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Total, inane, silliness, prompted by Inca challenging writers to do what no one--or mostly no one, anyway--wants to do: actually kill a Cartwright! Subsequent discussion bordered on the macabre, with congratulations bestowed upon writers meeting the challenge. These 2 parodies resulted.... Rated: K+ \u00a0WC \u00a0550","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/killing-cartwrights.jpg?fit=1070%2C887&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/killing-cartwrights.jpg?fit=1070%2C887&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/killing-cartwrights.jpg?fit=1070%2C887&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/killing-cartwrights.jpg?fit=1070%2C887&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/killing-cartwrights.jpg?fit=1070%2C887&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":49277,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=49277","url_meta":{"origin":12115,"position":5},"title":"The Cartwright Family (by LindaBl)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"May 22, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Synopsis:\u00a0A cute new song about the Cartwrights Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 Words:\u00a0 270","rel":"","context":"In "Family"","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1008"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12115","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/9052"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12115"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12115\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8478"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12115"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12115"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12115"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}