{"id":12118,"date":"2007-05-31T11:37:38","date_gmt":"2007-05-31T15:37:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12118"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:11:23","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:11:23","slug":"baring-souls-by-debbieb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12118","title":{"rendered":"Baring Souls (by DebbieB)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong>\u00a0Find out what happens weeks after Adam brings Joe home with life threatening wounds. Will the brothers be able to keep their secret made “Between Brothers” or will they bare their souls to their father…and each other?<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/strong>\u00a0 PG (4,900 words)<\/p>\n

Between Brothers Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Between Brothers<\/a>
\nBaring Souls<\/a><\/p>\n

Baring Souls<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ben had watched for many weeks how his two sons, Adam his eldest and Little Joe, his youngest had been reacting to one another ever since their trying experience in the wilderness. At first it seemed to Ben, the devoted and concerned father, that everything between the two brothers were as it should be. But then, as the days slipped slowly into weeks, he\u2019d begun to notice a change. Oh, it was slight at first, barely noticeable. As time crept slowly passed, things began to look differently. Attitudes changed, moods went from jovial to sour, and tempers began to flare until Ben could stand it no more. It was time to put a stop to the constant bickering and quarreling. It was time to get to the bottom of things and settle this once and for all. With a deep sigh, he rose from his comfortable chair, dropped his newspaper into the now vacant seat and walked slowly toward the door. Taking a moment to steady himself, he went first to the barn to face Adam, whom he knew had stomped off minutes ago after a brief encounter with his youngest brother.<\/p>\n

The lamp had been lit within the barn and Ben, as he pushed the door open slightly, could see his son\u2019s silhouette in the stall where he stood brushing vigorously, his horse\u2019s thick coat.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d he said softly as he approached the stall.<\/p>\n

Adam turned his head only slightly, but enough so that he caught the anxious expression on his father\u2019s face. He knew that his father would come searching for him. He was fully aware of why his father was there, what was troubling his father, yet Adam wasn\u2019t sure he was up to the interrogation that he knew was forthcoming. Realizing all that, he placed the brush back on the shelf and stepped from the shadows.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here, Pa,\u201d he said, acknowledging his father\u2019s presence.<\/p>\n

Ben smiled, though it wasn\u2019t from the heart and could only hope that Adam did not realize how forced it was.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought we might talk\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout what? Or\u2026maybe I should say about\u2026whom? Little Joe, I take it\u2026you want to know what\u2019s going on between the two of us, don\u2019t you? Well, Pa, to be honest\u2026I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on\u2026not with him least ways. Who would know\u2026one minute the boy is fine, the next he\u2019s jumping down my throat about something that I have absolutely no clue as to why\u2026and then when I try to speak up for myself, he turns more defensive\u2026and you want to know why! Well, I don\u2019t know!\u201d Adam practically shouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026don\u2019t take that tone with me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam lowered his head, avoiding having to meet his father\u2019s intense glare. It was all lies, all of it, and Adam knew it, he knew what was between Little Joe and himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa\u2026it\u2019s just that\u2026\u201d he turned and walked into the shadows.<\/p>\n

Ben took a couple of steps to follow. He felt his son\u2019s inter turmoil but could only wonder at it.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just what, son? What is troubling you?\u201d he asked kindly and with new warmth in his tone.<\/p>\n

Adam turned to face his father as emotion swelled in his chest. Suddenly it was hard to breathe. His hand swiped across his face, banishing his unseen tears from his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to pour his heart out to his father, emptying his soul of the torment he carried, but he hesitated. Wild, condemning thoughts raced through his mind\u2026could he tell his father what he actually felt\u2026more so, could he bring himself to confess the agonizing guilt that he\u2019 been carrying around inside and why? Dear God, he thought\u2026would his father ever be able to forgive him for his part in Joe\u2019s misfortune\u2026could he forgive himself?<\/p>\n

After he and Joe had come home, things seemed to be fine between them. They had kept their secrets between themselves, just as they had promised each other. Yet, he watched how his youngest brother suffered daily with the pain and discomfort that was brought on by his injuries\u2026injuries that he, Adam, blamed no one but himself for. Watching the boy learning to walk again and use his arms was nearly as painful for him to watch as it was to Little Joe who tried so hard to overcome his handicaps. And with each step that Joe struggled to take, his temper began to flare as the pain continued to spread throughout his body, dulling and stilling his efforts. Attitudes changed, words were exchanged and naturally tempers erupted, oft as not, violently.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t something he wanted. He\u2019d meant the boy no harm, certainly would have never wished the kind of suffering that Joe was enduring, on the boy or anyone else. And if he could have borne the suffering for his brother, Adam would have most assuredly done so. Seeing the discouraged expressions in the soft emerald eyes, tore at his heart, fueling the guilt even deeper into his heart and soul. He\u2019d told Joe over and over how sorry he was for having been a party to his anguish, and over and over Joe had told him to forget it, that he held no resentment\u2026yet it seemed to Adam that \u2018it\u2019 lay between them, like a hot poker having rested too long in the flames of a roaring fire. And then each sentence, every statement appeared to be wrong, taken in a way in which it was not meant. Their relationship suffered, adding more stress, worry and grief to the already persecuted young man; and more shame and guilt to the older brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Ben said, breaking the long silence. He\u2019d seen, even in the faint light, the faraway look that had suddenly come over his eldest son, and Ben had chosen to remain silent, long enough for his son to recover from the torment that he so obviously was enduring.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa\u2026my mind was elsewhere,\u201d explained Adam, as he lowered himself onto a bale of hay. \u201cSit down\u2026I suppose it\u2019s time you knew what\u2019s really going on\u2026I don\u2019t think you\u2019re going to be happy with\u2026me\u2026nor with Joe\u2026you may never forgive me for what I\u2019ve done\u2026not this time, not like all the other times I\u2019ve messed up\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben felt a sudden thickness in his chest as he lowered himself down next to Adam on the bale of hay. He\u2019d waited weeks to learn the truth\u2026was he ready to face it now\u2026now that it was time for the silence to be broken. Oh, he knew that Adam and Joe had something going on between the two of them, something that both boys were reluctant to speak about. But Ben knew his boys well enough to know that, that \u2018something\u2019 was tearing each one of them apart\u2026and that the secret they shared was like a wedge between them. A promise had been made, that Ben was sure of, but even a promise made between brothers could sometimes warrant breaking. Age and wisdom had taught Ben Cartwright that, years ago. His sons each needed help in coming to terms with whatever it was that had sliced through a loving and brotherly kinship, seeking to destroy it. If things were not brought out into the open and set straight, the break could be permanent and last a life time, something that Ben did not want to see happen to his family, especially between his boys.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I hardly think there would ever be anything that you could do that I couldn\u2019t forgive,\u201d Ben said as he placed his hand on the younger man\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

Adam had leaned forward, elbows propped on his knees with his face in his hands. He slowly raised his head and turned toward his father. Ben could plainly see the deep emotion on Adam\u2019s face, for the mask that his eldest son usually wore to hide his innermost feelings was gone. The pain in the hazel eyes that reflected through the deep intensity of his son\u2019s eyes startled him. Whatever Adam was suffering, it was deep and cutting into the boy\u2019s very soul.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnswer me this Pa,\u201d Adam said in a strained voice, \u201cif I were to be the cause of killing\u2026say Little Joe\u2026could you\u2026deep down in your heart, ever\u2026forgive me such a horrific act?\u201d<\/p>\n

Shaken by the question, Ben could only momentarily stare at his son in disbelief. Swallowing, he at last found his voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026first off\u2026that hasn\u2019t happened\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what if?\u201d demanded Adam, his tone deepening. \u201cSay I did something\u2026stupid and the end result of my stupidly was Joe\u2019s death\u2026a death that was brought on by agony and suffering? Could you forgive me then?\u201d<\/p>\n

Worried, Ben took another deep breath. \u201cPerhaps whatever\u2026stupid act you might have done\u2026was not on purpose\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh course not, Pa!\u201d Adam growled as he rose and walked a step or two away from his father. He turned, looking down at the man he loved and respected, noting a tinge of anxiety in his father\u2019s deep-set brown eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d never intentionally do anything to get the boy hurt\u2026let alone get him killed!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen why would you worry that I would withhold my forgiveness?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut would you\u2026I have to know, Pa\u2026please,\u201d Adam said as he sat back down next to his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026you\u2019re my son\u2026my first born\u2026I love you\u2026now and for always. I know that you\u2019d never do harm to either Little Joe or Hoss\u2026but\u2026if that we to ever happen, then I\u2019d know in my heart\u2026deep down inside, that it was not on purpose, no matter what the circumstance might be. Yes, son\u2026I could\u2026and would forgive you. Now would you please explain to me, what is this all about?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben heard Adam\u2019s wind rush from his chest, unaware that the young man had been holding his breath. He watched as his son ran his hand over his face to wipe away the unseen traces of tears that had welled in his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa. I\u2026I needed to hear that,\u201d he said lowly.<\/p>\n

Ben placed his hand once more on Adam\u2019s broad shoulder, feeling beneath his fingers, the tremors that coursed through his son\u2019s body.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo on\u2026get it off your chest, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

After a brief silence, Adam cleared his throat. \u201cWe argued\u2026or I should say, I argued. He just stood there and took it\u2026everything I said to him\u2026\u2026\u2026..\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2026meaning Little Joe?\u201d Ben interrupted.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes\u2026Little Joe.\u201d Adam made a smirking sound and shook his head gently from side to side. \u201cHe never said a word back to me\u2026he just turned and walked away. At first I didn\u2019t realize he was saddling up, but when I did, I knew he was leaving. I couldn\u2019t let him go, so\u2026I tried to stop him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd\u2026that didn\u2019t work?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not. By then the kid was as mad as a charging bull. When I put my hand on his arm to keep him from mounting up, he swung around and\u2026hit me.\u201d Again Adam made a smirking sound, this time rubbing his chin as if he were once again feeling the sting of his brother\u2019s punch. \u201cI didn\u2019t know the boy could hit so hard,\u201d he said, glancing sideways at his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo on.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe got into a scuffle. He hit me, I slugged him\u2026he went down and when I grabbed for him, intending to haul his butt up from the ground, he\u2026used his legs and slung me over his shoulders. I\u2019ll admit I landed with a thud on my backside\u2026almost knocking the wind from my lungs. I had to take a minute to pull air into my chest, but it was just the time he needed. Before I could stop him, he was mounted and riding off\u2026\u201dAdam swallowed hard.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened after that? Did you go after him?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben watched as the expressions hardened on his son\u2019s face and as Adam shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026and that was where stupidity set in. I knew he was riding off into Indian country, yet I didn\u2019t even call out to him to come back\u2026or\u2026or\u2026to say that I was sorry. I just stood there like an idiot and let my kid brother ride off\u2026knowing what danger lay ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had gotten up and moved away from his father. His back was to Ben as he leaned on the half wall where his horse was bedded down in the stall.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t even recall what sparked the argument.\u201d He turned, looking directly into Ben\u2019s dark eyes. \u201cWhatever it was\u2026it wasn\u2019t so important that I should have let the kid ride away like that. But\u2026hey,\u201d he said sarcastically, \u201cI was right\u2026beyond a doubt\u2026or at least in my mind I was right and Joe was wrong, so I stood there like I was\u2026God\u2026and let my own flesh and blood ride right into the middle of an Indian raid and\u2026right to his death.\u201d<\/p>\n

Unable to control the pent up emotion, Adam groaned and then slammed his balled up fist into the side railing of the stall. \u201cDam! Dam, Dam, Dam!\u201d he shouted.<\/p>\n

Quickly, Ben stood to his feet and moved closer to his son. He placed his hand on Adam\u2019s back and gently squeezed. Adam cradled his throbbing hand in his other hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Little Joe didn\u2019t die, son\u2026obviously, you saved his life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam spun around. \u201cSure I did\u2026but his life wouldn\u2019t have been in danger had I just kept my mouth shut and not taunted the boy, now would it?\u201d he growled with so much venom in his tone that Ben recoiled his arm slightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no one to blame Pa, but me for all the suffering, all the agony, for all the anguish, the misery and all the sleepless nights and pain ridden days that Little Joe has had to endure, but myself. I cannot\u2026cannot forgive myself for doing that to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

He stomped away and turned around. \u201cI wish to God it had been me instead of him\u2026if I could have traded places with him, I would have, in a heartbeat. But I can\u2019t\u2026his suffering is on my account\u2026therefore I cannot forget it nor forgive my mistake!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam started to walk away but Ben reached out and grabbed his arm, halting Adam\u2019s steps.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow you wait just a minute young man\u2026you\u2019re right about one thing\u2026you aren\u2019t God! And another thing you\u2019re right about\u2026you made a mistake\u2026yes, a mistake,\u201d Ben repeated before Adam could interrupt. \u201cAnd yes, perhaps it was a foolish mistake, a stupid argument that meant nothing\u2026perhaps, Adam, you were a bit prideful\u2026but never, never for a moment will I allow you or anyone else to think that you intentionally let your brother ride to his death\u2026or would be death. Joseph has to take some of the responsibility in this. He made the decision to ride away\u2026he chose to leave, he picked his path\u2026and he knew Adam, that he was in dangerous territory\u2026in Indian country. And furthermore, he knew what could happen if he encountered those very Indians. So don\u2019t let yourself believe that you are solely the one at fault. Don\u2019t give yourself so much credit!\u201d<\/p>\n

Stunned by the words, Adam stared at his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cCredit?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right\u2026credit, blame\u2026call it what you please. But it took two to argue, two to fight and two to make choices, one to ride away, the other to let that person ride away. Oh\u2026you could have ridden after him, but knowing Joe as we do, we both know that would only result in more ill feelings, perhaps more fighting\u2026no, you probably did right in letting him ride away\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat! Dear God, Pa\u2026you didn\u2019t see what they did to him\u2026you didn\u2019t hear his cries; you didn\u2019t have to perform four crude operations\u2026with nothing but a hunting knife! He begged me not to hurt him anymore\u2026yet he pleaded with me to help him\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you did\u2026don\u2019t you see Adam\u2026you saved his life. Joe would have died had you not been there\u2026had you not gone searching for him. Joe knows that\u2026I know he does and nothing you can say to me will convince me that he feels any animosity toward you for what happened,\u201d Ben said softly. \u201cHe probably blames no one but himself\u2026in fact, I can almost guarantee that he does. And I\u2019ll prove it to you\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Before Adam could stop him, Ben marched straight toward the house. Adam watched as his father disappeared inside, closing the door. He knew what his father was doing\u2026and why\u2026yet he wondered if it were the right thing. How would Joe react once he found out that his older brother had betrayed him by breaking a promise to keep their secret just that, a secret.<\/p>\n

In spite of himself, Adam felt somewhat better after talking to his father. He felt as if some of the weight he\u2019d been carrying around on his shoulders had been lifted. Maybe his father was right\u2026maybe as bad as things had been for Joe and he, they could have been much worse. What if he hadn\u2019t found Joe in time\u2026he could have been dead\u2026forgiveness had been forthcoming from the kid, right from the start, Adam recollected. He almost smiled. Joe was like that\u2026angry as a bull one minute and mild as a kitten the next. Hot and cold\u2026water and oil\u2026sweet and sour\u2026hmmm.<\/p>\n

Walking back to the stall, Adam picked up the currying brush and began to groom his horse. In his heart he knew that Joe was in for the same discussion that he and their father had just had. He could only wonder what the boy\u2019s reaction would be like. Would Joe be open and honest as he had been, with their father? Would he bare his soul, as his older brother had done? Only time would tell.
\nBen caught a glimpse of Little Joe as the youngest member of the family turned the corner at the top of the steps. Tossing his hat on the credenza, he started to call out but decided instead to follow Joe to his room, where they could talk in private, as he and Adam had just done.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhew\u2026\u201d he sighed as he lumbered up the steps. \u201cWhy couldn\u2019t I have had three girls instead?\u201d he mumbled to himself.<\/p>\n

Knocking softly on the door, he called his son\u2019s name? \u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s open. Come on in.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben pushed the door opened, just in time to see Joe lowered himself onto the bed. He also noted the pained expression on the boy\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cLegs hurting tonight?\u201d Ben said as he closed the door behind him and crept to the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026just a bit. Guess it\u2019s the cold,\u201d Joe said as he settled himself against the stack of pillows.<\/p>\n

Ben reached down to the foot of the bed and pulled the coverlet up, spreading it evenly over Joe\u2019s lower body. \u201cIt\u2019s been a long couple of months, hasn\u2019t it son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026painful too,\u201d Joe announced, pausing slightly. \u201cBut\u2026no one to blame but myself,\u201d he said, giving his father a tiny grin. \u201cSomething on your mind, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled warmly, taking a seat in the chair nearest the bed. He heard the added statement and knew that his beliefs had been correct. \u201cYou know me so well, don\u2019t you son?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe returned the smile with the same warmth. \u201cI\u2019d like to think I did\u2026but in honesty, I barely know you at all,\u201d he said in a light tone. \u201cLike right now\u2026I know you\u2019ve something on your mine\u2026but I can\u2019t figure out what\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll give you a hint, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay\u2026I\u2019ll play along.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2026you\u2019ve been on my mind a lot lately\u2026you and\u2026Adam that is\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked away, the smile suddenly gone. \u201cOh\u2026I should have guessed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean by that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHonestly\u2026he\u2019s been on my mind too,\u201d Joe explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh\u2026and why is that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s lips tightened, pressing together. He shook his head gently. \u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026but I get the feeling that he\u2019s\u2026mad at me about something. But for the life of me, I can\u2019t figure out why or what I\u2019ve done\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou haven\u2019t done anything, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe studied his father. Ben knew something that he didn\u2019t; it was plain to see by the look in the dark eyes that watched him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you know that?\u201d he asked, curious.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause\u2026he told me so\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes widened slightly. \u201cOh\u2026he did, did he\u2026and\u2026what else did he tell you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben was silent for a moment. Not sure just how Joe would take the knowledge that Adam had shared with him, their secret, he decided to go slowly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026he was out in the barn a little while ago, grooming Sport. And I\u2019ve been watching him the last few days and I\u2019ve seen that your brother\u2019s had something on his mind. So\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou asked him what it was?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled. \u201cSee\u2026I told you, you know me pretty well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou asked him didn\u2019t you? And he told you\u2026he told you the whole dang story\u2026didn\u2019t he?\u201d Joe, his eyes growing dark, glared at his father. Yet, somehow he knew that Adam had spilled his guts about what had happened all those weeks ago when they had been out on the trail together.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes it bother you son, that your brother confided in me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Swallowing, Joe shook his head. \u201cI suppose not\u2026it\u2019s just that\u2026we sort of promised each other\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, he told me that as well. But Joseph, haven\u2019t you noticed how frazzled your brother has been\u2026how\u2026pre-occupied he\u2019s become. And irritable\u2026cross\u2026almost angry?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir, I\u2019ve noticed. And I\u2019ve noticed that most of it is directed at me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben leaned closer and put his hand over Joe\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut it wasn\u2019t, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen why does he always act like he\u2019s mad at me when I\u2019m anywhere near him. I mean, I said good morning to him\u2026and he snapped back, \u2018what\u2019s so good about it\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026listen to me just a minute. I don\u2019t care what they two of you argued about when you were out there\u2026I don\u2019t care whether Adam thought he was right and you were wrong or vice-versa. All I care about is that I\u2019ve got my sons back\u2026alive. Adam told me all about what happened, how he taunted you, how the two of you fought\u2026how you rode off and how he let you go\u2026knowing full well that you might be riding directly into trouble. But I also know the guilt and self-hatred he\u2019s suffered because he blames himself for what happened to you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s ridiculous\u2026I told him it wasn\u2019t his fault. I chose to go\u2026and he couldn\u2019t have stopped me if he tried. I was determined to go\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled and leaned back in his chair. \u201cThat\u2019s exactly what I told him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t blame him. Honest\u2026I thought he believed that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, he probably knows\u2026deep down in his heart, but seeing you the way you were, knowing how much pain you were in and how you struggled to come back to us\u2026surely it wore on him, Joe. And regardless of what you might have said to him about how you chose to ride off\u2026he\u2019s a sensitive man who values and treasures those whom he loves and cares for. A deep feeling of guilt has been eating away at him, making him into someone that none of us recognize\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere you able to convince him then\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know son, I\u2019m not sure really. I certainly hope I have. I suppose only time will tell.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe saved my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I know and for that I am most thankful. But Joe, tell me something\u2026how on earth did you end up in the middle of an Indian raid?\u201d<\/p>\n

He watched as Joe leaned back deeper into the pillows and closed his eyes. His son had paled slightly and when he opened his eyes, they had taken on a haunted, disturbed look about them.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was awful, Pa,\u201d he said softly. \u201cI just knew I was fixing to die\u2026I was\u2026scared. I knew, too late, how foolish I\u2019d been, riding off and leaving Adam alone. I wasn\u2019t so much afraid for myself, but for him\u2026because I knew, once that first arrow pierced my leg, that Adam would blame himself for what was happening.\u201d<\/p>\n

He glanced over at his father. \u201cI was right too, wasn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I\u2019m afraid so. But you still haven\u2019t told me how you came to be in the middle of that raid.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was riding around\u2026not really going any where, just stewing about what Adam had said to me\u2026funny, I can\u2019t even remember what it was now. But anyway, I saw the smoke coming from the way station\u2026at first I thought it was just chimney smoke. Unfortunately, I found out too late that it was more than that. When I saw the burning building, I could hear screams coming from inside, so I raced toward it. I almost made it inside when the Indians got me. I fought, but it was useless against so many. The next thing I knew, I was tied to the porch and they were shooting arrows at me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe took a deep breath and shut his eyes tightly, remembering in his mind the pain of those arrows as they pierced his body.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey left me there to die,\u201d he said softly, his voice trembling. When he opened his eyes, and looked over at his father, Ben noted that they had filled with tears. \u201cI could feel the heat from the fire on my back\u2026I could feel my flesh begin to burn\u2026\u201d he gulped. \u201cThe screaming inside had stopped. I knew whomever was there had died.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pausing, Joe looked up and saw Adam standing in the doorway, listening. Their eyes met and locked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then Adam appeared, seemingly out of nowhere\u2026and cut me down. You saved my life, brother,\u201d he said firmly, never taking his eyes off his brother. \u201cI would have surely died that day\u2026had you not come looking for me\u2026and found me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stepped to the foot of the bed. His hands trembled slightly as he gripped the footboard.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was a foolish thing you did, riding off into Indian country,\u201d he said in a low tone.<\/p>\n

Ben had pushed himself back into the comforts of the chair, giving his two sons time to talk between themselves for it was obvious that once Joe had spotted Adam in the doorway that the conversation had switched from father and son to brother and brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that\u2026and I know that I did it because I chose to do it\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy Joe\u2026why ride straight into trouble?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure, Adam\u2026maybe I, in some sick manner of thinking, wanted you to worry\u2026wanted you to\u2026come looking for me. Maybe I wanted to force you to admit that you were wrong. I don\u2019t know, maybe I wanted to hear you say you were sorry. I don\u2019t know\u2026\u201d he said, looking into the eyes and seeing the unspoken pain his brother tried so hard to hide.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess you didn\u2019t hear me say that I was sorry\u2026you were sort of \u2018out of it\u2019 most of the time,\u201d Adam confessed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard\u2026\u201d Joe answered, lowering his head in shame. When he raised his head again, a lone tear rolled down the front of his face. \u201cI heard you say it\u2026over and over and over. I\u2026wanted to tell you that I was sorry too, but\u2026I guess you didn\u2019t hear me either\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard\u2026but deep down I guess I didn\u2019t really believe you. Mostly because I blamed myself for what happened to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe swallowed. \u201cDo you\u2026believe me now? And do you know that it wasn\u2019t your fault, but mine?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam relaxed a bit and offered his brother a smile. \u201cDid you mean it, about being sorry\u2026and for taking the blame?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben heard Joe chuckle softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes\u2026did you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course\u2026have I ever lied to you?\u201d Adam said, smiling so that the dimples in his cheeks deepened.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026well, yes, I know\u2026no, you\u2019ve never lied to me Adam. And\u2026yes, I believe you\u2026but only if you believe me,\u201d Joe said returning the smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell then,\u201d Ben said, standing.<\/p>\n

Both boys looked over at their father, remembering for the first time that he had been sitting there listening, silent as they talked openly to one another.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell what?\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell then,\u201d Ben repeated. \u201cI guess it\u2019s settled\u2026it\u2019s over, finished\u2026let\u2019s leave it in the past from here on out and please\u2026let\u2019s get things back to normal!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam and Joe swapped glances and then both, at the same time, laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cGee Pa, Adam and I thought this was normal!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFights, arguments, raids, burning buildings, Indians\u2026WRONG!!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about brothers baring souls and not with holding secrets, but talking openly and honestly\u2026is that what you\u2019d call normal, Pa?\u201d Adam wanted to know.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s thick brows rose slightly. \u201cThat\u2019s what I\u2019d call perfect!\u201d he chanted as he excused himself from the room, leaving Adam and Little Joe to themselves. Down the hall, he paused, hearing the merry laughter that had once again returned to his happy home. As he started down the stairs, he heard Adam and Joe say.<\/p>\n

\u201cI love ya, kid\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you too, big brother\u2026just don\u2019t use that against me!\u201d<\/p>\n

Then, more laughter. Ben was content, things had been settled; normalcy had replaced the turmoil that had clouded all their lives over the last several weeks. Relief was immediate.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, God,\u201d he muttered as he headed for the kitchen in search of the perfect cup of coffee.<\/p>\n

THE END
\nMay 2007<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0Find out what happens weeks after Adam brings Joe home with life threatening wounds. Will the brothers be able to keep their secret made “Between Brothers” or will they bare their souls to their father…and each other?<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 PG (4,900 words)<\/p>\n

Between Brothers Series, links to all the stories within the series included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9052,"featured_media":10704,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23],"tags":[14,15,17,16],"class_list":["post-12118","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-ben","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2415,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/HP8b.jpg?fit=636%2C520&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":25624,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=25624","url_meta":{"origin":12118,"position":0},"title":"Christmas Spirit (by AC1830)","author":"AC1830","date":"December 25, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Little Joe learns something special about Christmas, with the help of his brothers. 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