Summary:<\/b>\u00a0With Marie freshly buried and Ben locked away in his room, the boys are left alone to deal with their own grief.<\/p>\n
Rated G \u00a0WC 7,760<\/p>\n
While I Was Away<\/strong><\/p>\n The door had been shut and locked from within,<\/strong> for hours, days in fact. The young boy had stood in the hallway, often sitting Indian style or leaning against the thick wooden walls just outside the closed room for as many hours and days. When exhaustion had taken over, his older brother had found the lad curled into a ball on the runner in the hall, sleeping. Adam had gathered the tiny bundle into his arms and carried the sleeping child into his own room and placed his little brother under the covers. He had noticed the tears that lingered on the child\u2019s face, a grim reminder of what had transpired. It was a sign of what the entire household had been forced to face. Marie Cartwright, beloved wife and mother was dead\u2026gone\u2026buried, killed in a freak accident just a little more than a week ago. She had come riding up to the house on a horse that had lost it\u2019s footing and had stumbled, tossing his father\u2019s beautiful young wife into a broken heap upon the hardened soil beneath her. Her long slender neck had been broken, killing her instantly. Ben Cartwright had been unconsolable in his grief. He had taken to his room, shortly after the burial and had remained since, locking himself away from his heartbroken sons, all of whom needed him desperately, especially his youngest, Little Joe, who was the natural born son of their father and beloved step-mother.<\/p>\n Adam sat down on the bed next to his little brother. He watched the facial expressions that came and went across the tear-streaked face. The light chestnut curls that covered the boy\u2019s head lay in damp ringlets. The sight struck a memory cord in the older boy\u2019s heart. Marie had said, just days before her untimely death, that her son was in dire need of a haircut. The haircut, however, had been forgotten when tragedy had struck. Sorrow and grief had replaced more pleasant thoughts with fear and dread. Doom had taken up residence in the home once filled with love and laughter. Adam wondered if their lives would ever be the same again. When Little Joe moaned softly, Adam peered down at the sleeping child, fully aware that their lives had taken a sudden turn in another direction. It wasn\u2019t the first time their lives had traveled down death\u2019s road. Twice before the same grief and unhappiness, the uncertainty of time\u2019s healing powers had visited them. But this time, there was Little Joe to think about. He and Hoss were older and better able to understand that death by any means was only a part of life that lay ahead for all of them. Little Joe was so small, so young\u2026and he needed his father\u2019s presence to hold him, to reassure him and to help him to understand that death is the beginning of life forevermore and that God\u2019s promise to us was that we\u2019d see our loved ones again someday. Little Joe needed to hear his father\u2019s deep, compassionate voice; the boy needed to feel the strength in his father\u2019s arms as Ben held him, comforting him, drying his tears\u2026the lad needed a strong shoulder to cry on, to lean on\u2026but it was as if Ben had turned his back on the very ones he claimed to have loved more than life itself, the ones who needed him most and, though he might not yet realize it, whom he needed almost as much.<\/p>\n \u201cMama?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo Little Joe, its me, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI want Mama,\u201d the wee voice cried.<\/p>\n \u201cI know\u2026but Mama\u2019s\u2026gone Little Joe,\u201d Adam said, almost afraid to say the word\u2026dead\u2026for it was like a hot iron on his tongue, scorching his inner mouth.<\/p>\n Little Joe crawled up onto his brother\u2019s lap, welcoming the warmth and security he found there. Tears built in the emerald pools of green and slid silently down the rosy cheeks.<\/p>\n \u201cNo she ain\u2019t\u2026Pa\u2019s talkin\u2019 to her. Honest, Adam\u2026I heard him. Mama\u2019s in their room, with Pa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head gently from side to side, startled by the remark, unsure of what his brother was talking about. He was baffled as to why the lad would think that his mother was locked away behind a closed door. Joe had been at the funeral; he had seen his mother laid to rest. He had even tossed a red rose into the opened grave and dropped a tiny fistful of dirt onto the top of the casket.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, no,\u201d Adam whispered, pulling the tiny body close to his chest. \u201cYour mama\u2019s not in her room. Don\u2019t you remember, Little Joe\u2026we\u2026buried her a few days ago, up at the lake, at her favorite spot\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe is too in there. I told ya, Adam, I dun heard Pa talkin\u2019 to her\u2026why\u2019s he keepin\u2019 her locked up?\u201d the boy inquired, turning sad, tear filled eyes up at his brother, questioningly.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe\u2026she\u2019s not there, honest. Pa\u2019s just\u2026just talking to himself\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n By that time, Little Joe was fully awake. He pushed away Adam\u2019s arms and jumped down onto the floor. His hands were placed firmly on his hips and he gave his brother a hard glare.<\/p>\n \u201cMy mama is to in that room\u2026you follow me and I\u2019ll show ya!\u201d he stammered, on the verge of more tears. The boy marched to the door and yanked it opened. When he turned around to see if Adam was following, he sighed deeply. \u201cAin\u2019t ya\u2019cha comin\u2019, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gave out a sigh of his own, fully aware that the truth could only cause more pain and heartache for the curly headed little boy. How he wished that Marie actually were in that room! Slowly and deliberately, Adam pushed his weary body upward and crossed the room. He placed a tender hand down on the boy\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cAlright, Little Joe\u2026let\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe led the way slowly down the hallway towards his father\u2019s bedroom. Adam trailed behind dread building again in his own saddened heart. When both boys reached the door, Little Joe leaned his ear against the cold wood. Inside, he could hear his father mumbling.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy\u2019s Pa cryin\u2019, Adam?\u201d Little Joe whispered, looking up into the worried eyes of his brother. Adam felt the catch in his throat and thought how hard it was to swallow.<\/p>\n Before answering, he leaned his own ear against the door. Sure enough, Ben was weeping. Worry creased the younger man\u2019s brow, disfiguring the handsome face. His father was muttering in tones that began lowly and then rose in volume. Grief was like that, one minute you could talk normally, sensibly and then the next you were practically shouting and then the laminating grew in intensity. Adam\u2019s heart broke for his father. How deeply the elder Cartwright\u2019s pain and grief must have been, his son concluded.<\/p>\n \u201cSee Adam\u2026listen\u2026Pa\u2019s callin\u2019 Mama\u2019s name\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u2018Marie\u2026oh Marie\u2026why\u2026why\u2026why didn\u2019t you listen to me! That horse was too much for you to handle\u2026oh God\u2026this is all my fault! Marie\u2026I\u2019m so sorry\u2026so very sorry!\u2019<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s Pa meanin\u2019 Adam? What was his fault?\u201d Little Joe said, cringing when he heard his father\u2019s voice crackle with the deep sobbing. The sound frightened the little boy and he grabbed Adam around the waist, burying his face in Adam\u2019s mid-section, crying.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease Adam\u2026tell Papa to stop makin\u2019 that awful noise\u2026it\u2019s scarin\u2019 me!\u201d<\/p>\n Instantly, Adam gathered his little brother into his arms and hurried down the hall and descended the stairs. Hoss was sitting in the red leather chair and looked up at his brothers. He noted the frazzled look on his older brother\u2019s face and the tears that streamed down his younger brother\u2019s flushed cheeks. He was on his feet instantly.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d he asked, placing a large but gentle hand on the lad\u2019s shoulder. \u201cWhy\u2019s Joe cryin\u2019 Adam\u2026what\u2019cha do to\u2019em?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n \u201cI haven\u2019t done anything to him, you big ox!\u201d Adam retorted as he sat down on the settee, pulling Joe close to his chest and wrapping his strong arms about the tiny, frail body. \u201cShh\u2026stop crying now, Little Joe. Everything is going to be alright.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss sat down opposite his brothers on the wide wooden table. His eyes misted as he fought to control his own emotions. \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam, his eyes clouded with concern, looked up at Hoss. \u201cJoe heard Pa crying\u2026he thinks\u2026Pa has his mama locked in the room and won\u2019t let her out\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n The rotund face scrunched up tightly. \u201cWhat?\u201d he said in disbelief. \u201cSurely not\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was rocking slowly back and forth. Little Joe\u2019s eyelids were growing heavy until at last they closed and within minutes the little boy was sleeping.<\/p>\n \u201cHe thinks Pa is talking to Marie\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh no,\u201d Hoss murmured softly, not wanting to wake the boy. \u201cPoor little thing\u2026does Pa know that Joe\u2019s heard\u2019em talkin\u2019, ya reckon?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cOf course not\u2026Pa\u2019s not been out of that room in over a week. Hop Sing said he\u2019s hardly eaten a bite\u2026he grieving Hoss, plain and simple. It\u2019s to be expected,\u201d he said, trying to make his brother understand the process. \u201cHe\u2019ll be alright, Hoss\u2026honest. He\u2019s been through this before\u2026it takes time, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019 expression looked troubled. \u201cI know\u2026but Adam\u2026Little Joe,\u201d he said, pointing to the sleeping lad. \u201cLittle Joe needs\u2019em\u2026and\u2026and so do I\u2026we\u2026all of us\u2026we need our Pa,\u201d he cried as tears dripped slowly down his face. Hoss covered his face with his hands. His body was doubled and he rested his elbows on his knees. \u201cI loved her too, Adam,\u201d he wept, glancing up at his brother. \u201cBut\u2026I love Pa more\u2026I don\u2019t want\u2019em to stay locked away\u2026it\u2026scares me, Adam\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stretched out his arm and patted Hoss on the shoulder with his hand. \u201cI know, Hoss. I loved Marie too, but\u2026like you, I love Pa and you and Little Joe most of all. I know we need him, and he needs us too, but ya just gotta understand that this takes time. He\u2019ll come out of there, sooner or later\u2026I\u2026hope,\u201d he muttered, wishing he could believe his own words. \u201cMeanwhile, it\u2019s up to us to take care of Little Joe and to make sure things run as smoothly as possible around here. We have a lot of work to do in the morning, Hoss, we best put this boy to bed and get some sleep ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n He stood then, his bundle still firmly held in his arms. Little Joe made a soft whimpering sound and snuggled deeper against the warmth of Adam\u2019s chest. Adam glanced down at the sleeping form and sighed deeply, troubled and anxious for the boy\u2019s welfare. \u201cI\u2019ll put Joe in with me tonight\u2026just in case he wakes up and gets scared. I don\u2019t want him to wake up crying for Pa\u2026and\u2026Pa not get to him.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss stood too, looking up at his older brother. \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam turned. He had been making his way to the steps. \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYa reckon\u2026umm\u2026I mean\u2026umm\u2026can I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCan you what, out with it Hoss?\u201d Adam said, giving the chubby lad a small smile. He was pretty certain that he knew what Hoss was about to ask.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I sleep with you and Little Joe\u2026purty please? I promise, I won\u2019t snore?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s grin broadened. \u201cOnly if you promise!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI promise, I promise\u2026gee, thanks Adam. Say, and if Little Joe wakes up\u2026I\u2019ll help ya with\u2019em\u2026alright?\u201d Hoss said, his tears dried and wiped away on the sleeve of his shirt.<\/p>\n \u201cSure\u2026I could use a little help\u2026this rascal can be a handful at times.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam made his way up the steps, aware that Hoss trailed behind. In the hall, they both paused for a moment, outside of their father\u2019s bedroom and listened, neither made a sound. It was quiet.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s probably cried himself to sleep. Come on, let\u2019s get to bed,\u201d Adam ordered gently as he ushered Hoss into his room before the sorrowful sounds started up again. The lad shook his head. \u201cI ain\u2019t hungry\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Adam groaned softly. Hoss\u2019 blue eyes were fixed on the little boy\u2019s face. \u201cYa gotta be hungry, Punkin\u2026ya didn\u2019t even eat your supper last night,\u201d he stated.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss is right, Joe\u2026there\u2019s no way you can\u2019t be hungry. Try, just take a few bites, please?\u201d Adam begged.<\/p>\n The boy shook his head again. \u201cNope\u2026I ain\u2019t gonna eat.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam exchanged worried glances with Hoss and then turned again to the boy who sat ramrod straight in his chair, arms folded across his chest. He looks defiant, thought Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cYou, ain\u2019t gonna eat or you\u2019re not hungry\u2026which is it Little Joe?\u201d Adam demanded.<\/p>\n His tone was unlined with a bit of anger, only because he was worried about his brother\u2019s welfare at this point. Little Joe had tossed and turned all night, often crying out in his sleep, begging for his mama to come to him. His dreams had obviously turned to his father because Joe had also called out to his father to please open the locked door and let his mama out. Adam had spent a sleepless night as well, comforting the sorrowful child. Hoss, who had promised to help if things had gotten worse through the night, slept like a baby, snoring and adding to the restlessness of his two brothers.<\/p>\n \u201cWell?\u201d Adam asked the boy. \u201cWhich is it?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019 blue eyes widened as he watched the pair.<\/p>\n Little Joe turned to face Adam, glaringly. Adam noted the expression instantly and knew that an argument was in the making. Grief and fear were nearing the surface of the little boy\u2019s emotions and was just about to erupt.<\/p>\n \u201cI dun told ya, I ain\u2019t hungry\u2026and even if I was\u2026why should I eat\u2026nobody cares about me!\u201d he practically shouted. Tears had welled in the green eyes and the boy\u2019s chin quivered slightly as he attempted to hold back the flood that was about to spill over the rims.<\/p>\n \u201cThat ain\u2019t so,\u201d Hoss declared. \u201cI care about ya\u2026and so does Adam\u2026ain\u2019t that right, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAbsolutely. Look, Little Joe\u2026I know things aren\u2019t the best around here right now, but they\u2019re gonna get better, I promise. Please, just eat\u2026otherwise you\u2019re gonna be sick\u2026what then?\u201d Adam pleaded.<\/p>\n \u201cSo what\u2026maybe I\u2019ll just curl up and die\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat? Why\u2019d ya say a thing like that?\u201d Hoss fretted, looking with deep concern at his older brother.<\/p>\n \u201cMama didn\u2019t care about me\u2026Pa don\u2019t care\u2026nobody cares,\u201d the boy said as the tears spilled over.<\/p>\n He lowered his head and began to weep. Instantly, Adam was by his side, grabbing the boy and hauling up into his arms. At first, Little Joe tried to pull away, but the need to be needed and held out weighed the inner anger he had at the other members of his family and he slipped his arms about his brother\u2019s neck, burying his face in the curve of Adam\u2019s neck. Adam felt the old lump in his throat once again as he carried the sobbing boy to the settee and sat down. With tears building in his own eyes, Hoss followed.<\/p>\n At a lost for words, Adam sat in silence, cradling the distraught child in his arms. In spite of his own resolve, Adam felt the tears stinging his eyes. Unaware that he had done so, he looked to the top of the stairs, secretly praying for forgiveness for the sudden surge of anger he felt for his father.<\/p>\n \u201cIt ain\u2019t his fault\u2026not really, Adam,\u201d Hoss said in a soft, trembling voice.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s attention was drawn to his middle brother\u2019s face. \u201cHow\u2019d you know what I was thinking?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Hoss shrugged his shoulders. \u201cI don\u2019t know, I just knew\u2026maybe because I was thinkin\u2019 the same thing?\u201d he answered shyly.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Hoss,\u201d Adam said just as softly. \u201cI realize that Pa\u2019s hurting inside, but why doesn\u2019t he care what he\u2019s doing to the rest of us\u2026especially Little Joe?\u201d He glanced down at his little brother. Joe had closed his eyes and had stuck his thumb in his mouth, something he hadn\u2019t done in a very long time.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m worried about this boy,\u201d Adam said after a moment of silence. \u201cHe\u2019s grieving too, not just for his mama but for his pa as well, and I\u2019m at a lost as to how to help him, Hoss\u2026hell, I\u2019m at a loss as to how to help any of us!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know,\u201d the gentle young man answered as he sat down on the far end of the settee.<\/p>\n \u201cSometimes, I wish I had the guts to just run away\u2026\u201d Adam muttered and then instantly regretted his statement for Little Joe had popped his thumb out of his mouth and was staring deeply into his eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cYa ain\u2019t gonna leave me too, are ya, Adam?\u201d he sputtered, tears rolling down his face. \u201cWhat\u2019s gonna happen to me then\u2026if\u2019n ya run away?\u201d he sobbed. Instantly, Little Joe grabbed Adam\u2019s neck, practically crawling up the other boy\u2019s upper body, and began weeping uncontrollably. \u201cPlease Adam, don\u2019t ya leave me too\u2026please, I promise, I\u2019ll eat my breakfast\u2026I\u2019ll do my chores, just promise me, ya won\u2019t leave me\u2026please, please\u2026\u2026\u2026oh\u2026.please don\u2019t run away\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n Tears streamed down Adam\u2019s face. His resolve was gone as he cradled the boy tightly and buried his face in the lush curls. \u201cI\u2019m not going to run away\u2026honest Buddy\u2026I\u2019d never do that to you\u2026I promise\u2026please don\u2019t cry anymore\u2026please\u2026I can\u2019t take much more\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n In the doorway of the kitchen, Hop Sing stood in stunned motionlessness, horrified at what he\u2019d just overheard. The scene he\u2019d just witnessed now crushed his already broken spirit. How could his beloved family be breaking away as they were? The threads that had once bound them tightly were beginning to fray and soon, deemed the loyal servant, the threads would surely snap and when that happened, nobody, not even God, feared Hop Sing, could put the pieces back together. \u201cYou must eat now, Mr. Cart\u2019lite,\u201d Hop Sing said as he crossed the room to stand over the man whom he considered more than just his boss. \u201cI fluff pillows\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNO! I\u2019m not hungry\u2026take it away\u2026the smell is nauseating\u2026\u201d grumbled Ben as he turned onto his side, away from the little Chinaman.<\/p>\n Undaunted, Hop Sing reached for one pillow and began to fluff it, almost savagely. \u201cIt not stink of food that makes you sick\u2026\u201d He propped the pillow against the headboard and turned to the window. There he grabbed the curtains and flung them opened and then shoved the window opened as well. \u201cIt stink of death that sickens you\u2026and other not so good things about you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Ben turned his head slightly, glaring fiercely at the smaller man. Hop Sing refrained from flinching. If he were to save the family he loved so deeply, drastic measures needed to be taken.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat the hell does that mean\u2026and for God\u2019s sake man, close those drapes!\u201d Bellowed Ben with more life in him than Hop Sing had seen in nearly two weeks.<\/p>\n \u201cMan must have sunlight to live and besides, room needs airing\u2026and boss needs nourishment for failing body and\u2026I might add, a bath and a shave. You eat, I bring tub with lots of hot water\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n With no further ado, Hop Sing turned to go, but not before Ben sprang upright in the bed, shouting.<\/p>\n \u201cI TOLD YOU I\u2019M NOT HUNGRY\u2026and I certainly DO NOT need a BATH\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Pausing and turning at the door, Hop Sing turned around. \u201cYou think not\u2026take a good long look in mirror\u2026boss a mess\u2026a smelly, self-pitying mess of a man who thinks of no one other than himself. Think about number three son who cries all day and all night\u2026think of middle son who fares not much better and who moves about as if in a fog! And think of young Adam who has suddenly be thrust into adulthood, fatherhood, master of all your great holdings\u2026you think, Mr. Boss Man of them, and what YOU have done to them\u2026then you see what Hop Sing mean\u2026you a MESS\u2026!!!\u201d he shouted at the top of his lungs. \u201cAND YOU DO STINK!!\u201d<\/p>\n The heavy oak door shut with a slam so hard that the windows on the entire second floor rattled. Ben was beyond angry\u2026he was furious. He jumped from the bed and stormed across the room, thrusting the door wide and stomping into the hall.<\/p>\n \u201cYOU\u2019RE FIRED\u2026YOU YELLOW-SKINNED CHINK!!\u201d<\/p>\n On the landing of the steps, Hop Sing had stopped. He covered his mouth with his hand to stifle the bout of giggles that had suddenly erupted. \u2018So,\u2019 he thought, \u2018Boss still have some fire left in him. That plenty good\u2026now maybe he remember needs of others rather than his own needs!\u2019 With a chuckle, Hop Sing went to ready the tub and bath water.<\/p>\n Ben started to retreat back to his room. As he turned, his eyes opened wide. At the other end of the hall stood his youngest son. Ben was horrified by the boy\u2019s appearance and mystified by the equally horror-struck expression on his son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n \u201cLittle Joe\u2026\u201d he muttered softly, taking a single step towards the boy.<\/p>\n \u201cI HATE YOU!\u201d Little Joe screamed. \u201cI WANT MY MAMA\u2026YOU LET HER OUT OF THAT ROOM!\u201d he stormed as he raced to his father and with little fists balled tightly, began beating Ben\u2019s chest. \u201cI WANT MY MAMA\u2026\u201d screamed the lad.<\/p>\n Stunned, Ben could only stand there, ram rod stiff as if he were a statue. The little fists pounded his lower chest and stomach. The boy continued to wail at the top of his lungs. Adam all of a sudden appeared in the hall, grabbing Joe and pulling him away from his father. His eyes dark and indignant could only glare at his father. No words were needed; the elder Cartwright read all there was to say in that one look of total hostility. Without a word, Adam retraced his steps down the back stairs carrying Joe in his arms. Joe\u2019s wailing echoed through the house. Ben was speechless, unprepared for the encounter, confused as to why the boy suddenly hated him and more uncertain about the audacious look in his oldest son\u2019s hazel eyes. Anger that had slowly been consuming him for days, now seeped from every pore in his body. He was furious as he stormed back to his room, slamming the door with a vengeance that equaled Hop Sing\u2019s\u2026and then he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror.<\/p>\n Slowly, as if he stared at stranger, he moved to the dresser and peered deeper into the looking glass. His eyes met the reflection looking back at him. He watched as the unkempt stranger touched his cheek, brushing his fingers against the bristles of his unshaven face. Ben moved even closer in to get a better look. His eyes never wavered from the image before him.<\/p>\n \u201cDear God in Heaven\u2026what\u2019s become of me?\u201d he whispered to the scruffy old man in the mirror.<\/p>\n The door opened without notice. Ben spun around to see who had dared to enter without his permission. He wasn\u2019t expecting the man who stood before him. \u201cWhat do you want?\u201d he growled.<\/p>\n Doctor Paul Martin, the family physician and long time friend of the Cartwrights, moved deeper into the room, setting his black satchel on the table next to the bed. He stood watching his friend, noting how Ben\u2019s eyes kept darting back to the mirror and how the expressions changed rapidly on his friend\u2019s face.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m glad to see you\u2019re up and about,\u201d Paul stated. \u201cHave you eaten anything?\u201d he asked, spying the tray on the opposite table. Nonchalantly he raised the lid and peeked at the contents beneath.<\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026and I\u2019m not going to\u2026I asked you what you wanted?\u201d Ben stormed, returning to the bed and settling himself under the covers.<\/p>\n Paul made a grunting sound deep in his throat, ignoring the tone of Ben\u2019s voice. Casually, he sat down in the lone chair and made himself comfortable, crossing his legs and folding his arms across his chest.<\/p>\n \u201cI just stopped by to see how you were doing\u2026and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine, great\u2026just super\u2026now go\u2026I don\u2019t need you here bothering me with stupid questions,\u201d Ben grumbled irritably.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd\u2026I wanted to stop in to visit with Little Joe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s attention turned directly to the doctor.<\/p>\n \u201cLittle Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s right. I suppose, since you\u2019ve had yourself barricaded in this room, you\u2019ve failed to notice how poorly the boy is looking. He\u2019s not eating\u2026not sleeping\u2026and when he does sleep, Adam says he whimpers all night or wakes up from nightmares\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Ben lowered his head. \u201cI\u2026no, I didn\u2019t know that. No one bothered to tell me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Paul\u2019s snicker was not because he thought the statement was funny, but just the opposite.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s rather hard to tell someone something when that person refuses to listen to something so important\u2026especially when he doesn\u2019t really want too, or doesn\u2019t care too\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow dare you\u2026my sons are very important to me\u2026you of all people should know that,\u201d Ben retorted.<\/p>\n \u201cI used to think they were important to you\u2026but now\u2026well, to be honest, with the way you\u2019ve been acting lately, I\u2019m not so sure they are\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy you\u2026\u201d Ben stammered. \u201cGet out\u2026right now, get out of my house and don\u2019t you ever come back\u2026do you HEAR ME?\u201d he shouted at the top of his voice.<\/p>\n The patient physician remained in his seat, sadly shaking his head from side to side.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know Ben, when Marie first died\u2026I felt sorry for you. But not anymore.\u201d He rose then, pausing to pick up his satchel. \u201cNo\u2026now all I feel for you is pity. Pity because I thought you were a stronger man that\u2026this\u2026\u201d he pointed at Ben lying in the bed like an invalid. \u201cYou have sons that need their father\u2026yet you lie up here wallowing in your own grief instead of helping them cope with theirs. You believe you\u2019re the only one hurting, yet I\u2019ve seen what Marie\u2019s death has done to those boys\u2026and how you\u2019re locking yourself away, waiting to die. Especially Little Joe\u2026did you even know that he\u2019s spent hours sitting just outside your bedroom door\u2026did you know that he\u2019s heard you talking to yourself, believing you were talking to his mother\u2026and that he thinks\u2026believes that you\u2019ve got her locked in here with you and that you won\u2019t let him in because you want Marie all to yourself\u2026\u201d Paul reached for the doorknob.<\/p>\n \u201cPity\u2026that\u2019s all I feel for you\u2026you\u2019re a disgrace to your sons\u2026and to yourself. Look at you\u2026get up and take another good long look in the mirror for God\u2019s sake\u2026see what you\u2019ve become\u2026and then look out the window\u2026and see that you\u2019ve still got plenty to live for\u2026that is, if you really care about them\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Paul shut the door softly when he left, though he felt like slamming it with all the strength he could muster. He hated himself for speaking so to his best friend, but he knew that something had to jar the man to his senses. Hop Sing had told him all that had been going on in the house and the things he\u2019d heard troubled his heart greatly. He was concerned for the boys, especially the boy\u2026afraid that Little Joe would be scarred for life. No, he hadn\u2019t been harsh enough\u2026he should have hauled Ben\u2019s butt up out of that bed himself and dragged him to the window. Ben needed to see his sons\u2026he needed to know that life goes on\u2026that death is not the end of tomorrow, but the beginning of forever. Paul wanted Ben to see that life was still young and strong and very much alive, in his sons. That\u2019s what Paul wanted Ben to see.<\/p>\n In the yard, he stopped to speak with the boys. Casting an eye to the upstairs window, he caught a glimpse of his friend standing in the shadows of the thick drapes. So, he mused, his words had struck a cord\u2026good, he only hoped that they would suffice.<\/p>\n \u201cI said some pretty hard things to him, Adam.\u201d He had waited until Hoss had taken Little Joe into the barn to see the new kittens that had been born the night before. \u201cRude things actually.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d like to say a few things to him myself\u2026but\u2026I just can\u2019t bring myself to say them outright. I feel like a heel for even thinking them\u2026but it\u2019s because of Joe. You know Doc\u2026I\u2026love my father\u2026but\u2026he\u2019s hurting that boy\u2026why doesn\u2019t he realize that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGrief is a hard thing to master, Adam. And your father has had so much of it in his lifetime\u2026more than most men have had to endure. And each time he snaps back\u2026somehow, by the grace of God, he finds himself just in the nix of time\u2026and he will again\u2026I have that much faith in the man\u2026and in God that He will not let this behavior go on much longer. Something will happen, son, that will cause Ben to snap out of his depression.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI hope so. I don\u2019t know how much longer I can go on handling all this\u2026I mean\u2026Hoss helps but he\u2019s only twelve. But what with keeping him in school, and keeping Little Joe satisfied\u2026and running this ranch. Most days the boy rides out with me. It\u2019s like he nearly panics if I get out of his sight for more than a moment or two\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI understand Adam, honestly. And I want you to know how very proud I am of you for taking on the responsibilities that you have. And your father will be proud as well, soon I hope.\u201d Paul placed a hand on the younger man\u2019s shoulder and squeezed gently. \u201cYou just keep doing what you\u2019re doing and everything will be alright. If you need me for anything\u2026I mean anything, Adam\u2026even if it\u2019s just to talk\u2026you know where to find me, or send word and I\u2019ll be here as quickly as I can be\u2026understand?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes sir\u2026and\u2026thanks Doc. It\u2026helps to talk,\u201d Adam admitted shyly.<\/p>\n \u201cADAM\u2026ADAM\u2026come look,\u201d Little Joe shouted from the doorway of the barn. \u201cSassy had six kittens!!\u201d Little Joe disappeared to the back of the barn.<\/p>\n Paul and Adam laughed lightly. \u201cIt\u2019s good to see you smiling again, young man. Now go see those kitties\u2026and save one for me\u2026I need a good mouser. I\u2019ll be back out in a day or two\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks again for dropping by\u2026\u201d Adam said as the doctor climbed into his buggy.<\/p>\n \u201cADAM\u2026HURRY IT UP!!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGuess I\u2019d better get going,\u201d laughed the doctor.<\/p>\n \u201cMe too\u2026take care,\u201d he called as the doctor drove away. When Adam turned, he caught a movement in the upstairs window. \u2018Please Pa\u2026hurry and get better\u2026they need you\u2026Joe, Hoss and\u2026I need you too.\u2019 Ben had stood at the window for several long minutes after the doctor had gone, waiting for the boys to reappear from the barn. He had been troubled by the events of the morning\u2026and with all that had been said to him. Almost ashamed of himself, he turned to the loyal servant.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Hop Sing,\u201d he called before the Chinaman left.<\/p>\n Hop Sing stopped in the doorway, unsure of what to say. Ben looked haggard and worn, sickly almost. His skin was pale and taunt\u2026his hands shook slightly. Hop Sing\u2019s heart broke at the sight of what Ben had let himself become.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m\u2026afraid\u2026I\u2019ve let\u2026my breakfast get cold. I won\u2019t ask for you to cook more\u2026but\u2026if you don\u2019t mind\u2026umm\u2026I could do with a cup of hot coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n Hop Sing\u2019s expression changed and he gave his boss a tiny smile. \u201cI get you coffee\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStrong, Hop Sing\u2026very, very strong\u2026please.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes sir, Mr. Cart\u2019lite\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n As he turned to go, Ben stopped him again. \u201cHop Sing?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2026\u201d Ben gulped. \u201cI was way out of line a little while ago\u2026I didn\u2019t mean\u2026what I said\u2026I\u2019m\u2026sorry\u2026please, forgive me?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMay I speak freely, Mr. Cart\u2019lite?\u201d<\/p>\n The servant had the full attention of the master. \u201cOf course you may\u2026and this time\u2026I shall listen,\u201d Ben said, smiling slightly.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you. I only wish to say to you\u2026that I understand your sorrow. I too have lost someone I loved\u2026we all loved her, Sir. But it is in times such as these that people need people and friends need friends. And we all need love, for a full life depends, not on vast riches or great acclaim, not on success or on worldly fame. But just in knowing that someone cares and holds us close in their prayers and thoughts. For only the knowledge that we\u2019re understood makes everyday living feel wonderful. And we rob ourselves of life\u2019s greatest need when we lock up our hearts and fail to heed the outstretched hand reaching to find a kindred spirit whose heart and mind are just as lonely and longing to somehow share our joys and sorrows and to make us aware that life\u2019s completeness and richness depends on the things we share with our loved ones and friends. Sons need their fathers\u2026and fathers need their sons\u2026and in times of sorrow\u2026only the love that binds them together can lead them on to brighter tomorrows.\u201d<\/p>\n Hop Sing took a deep breath. \u201cI go fetch water now\u2026you take bath, yes?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben swallowed the lump that had sprouted in the back of his throat. \u201cYes\u2026I take bath\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGood, it about time,\u201d Hop Sing muttered under his breath as he shut the door.<\/p>\n Ben heard laughter down below and returned to the window. Outside, his sons were laughing. Hoss was chasing Little Joe around the yard. The boy\u2019s giggles were high-pitched and shrill. When Hoss caught his little brother, he held him in a bear hug, spinning him around in a circle and causing Joe to squeal even louder. Adam joined them then and together Hoss and Adam pinned Joe to the ground, tickling him mercilessly. Ben laughed, surprised to hear the sound that he thought he\u2019d never make again. The realization that life does go on\u2026had finally struck home.<\/p>\n \u201cDear God\u2026forgive me for what I\u2019ve put them through\u2026and please, give them grace to forgive me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n At that very moment, Little Joe looked up at the window. It seemed like forever that their eyes remained locked. Ben wasn\u2019t even sure that the boy could actually see him, but then Little Joe stopped laughing. Ben could have sworn that he\u2019d seen tears begin to roll down the dirt stained cheeks. Then, before his brothers were even aware of what was happening, Little Joe took off in a run, disappearing behind the barn.<\/p>\n In a panic, Ben left the room, the bath all but forgotten. He cared not that he stank, that his face was covered in course whiskers. He cared only that somehow, without meaning too, he had frightened the child and sent him running\u2026away and he had to find the boy and explain as best he could\u2026he had to make Little Joe understand that he\u2026loved him\u2026deeply, so very deeply.<\/p>\n By the time he reached the yard, Adam and Hoss were rushing off in search of the boy. They spied their father in all his disarray.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere are you going?\u201d Adam demanded in a rather disrespectful tone of voice.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m going after my son\u2026he saw me watching him from the window\u2026and he\u2026ran away\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll get him,\u201d Adam snapped. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you just go back to bed?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s expression suddenly changed. He grew angry, but he held it in check. He deserved the ill-mannered tone in which his son spoke to him. He blamed no one other than himself for driving a wedge between his boys and himself.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you don\u2019t mind, I\u2019ll\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI do mind\u2026I told you, I\u2019ll find him\u2026we\u2026don\u2019t need\u2026you\u2026as you so obviously don\u2019t need us\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cADAM\u2026Pa\u2026he didn\u2019t mean that\u2026honest, he\u2019s just been so worried about Little Joe\u2026\u201d stammered Hoss.<\/p>\n Adam had gone, leaving his father alone in the yard with his middle son. Ben\u2019s lips were drawn tight, in a firm straight line. \u201cDon\u2019t fret, Hoss. I know he didn\u2019t really mean it\u2026at least I hope he didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe didn\u2019t Pa\u2026honest he didn\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay, son\u2026really\u2026I know I haven\u2019t been much of a father to\u2026any of you\u2026the last several days. It\u2019s just that I\u2019ve been so\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe know Pa\u2026and we understand\u2026least ways, me and Adam understand\u2026I ain\u2019t so sure about Little Joe. He\u2019s been havin\u2019 a pretty rough time of it since\u2026since\u2026his mama\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDied?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss gulped. \u201cYes sir\u2026that\u2019s what I meant.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd that\u2019s my fault. I shouldn\u2019t have locked myself away like that\u2026I should have been here for you boys\u2026I\u2019ll regret that for the rest of my life\u2026I\u2019m\u2026ashamed of myself.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAw Pa\u2026don\u2019t you go frettin\u2019 about that now. We need to find Little Joe\u2026so\u2019s ya can talk to\u2019em and get\u2019em to understand that\u2026well, people grieve differently\u2026and\u2026well, ya was just grievin\u2019 the only way ya knew how\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Ben placed a loving hand down on the boy\u2019s shoulder and pulled the husky lad to him in a tight hug. \u201cYou amaze me, Hoss\u2026you truly do\u2026thank you\u2026for understanding\u2026I wish your older brother was just a bit more understanding as you seem to be.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAw\u2026that\u2019s okay, Pa\u2026and Adam\u2026well, you know how he is\u2026him being older and thinkin\u2019 he\u2019s always in charge and responsible for everything me and Joe does\u2026he\u2019s been like a pa to both of us while ya was\u2026umm\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLocked away in my room?\u201d Ben said with a serious expression. How could he have been so blinded to the needs of his boys?<\/p>\n \u201cYes sir\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Hoss\u2026I hope you believe that\u2026and I promise\u2026from now on, things will be different around here\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI hope so, Pa\u2026for all our sakes, but especially for Little Joe\u2026he needs you so.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI give you my word son\u2026now, do you have any idea where that little rascal might have taken off too?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYep\u2026\u201d Hoss answered hesitantly. \u201cBut, Pa\u2026ya might not want to go up there\u2026\u201d he cautioned.<\/p>\n \u201cThe lake?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes sir. He\u2019s been sneakin\u2019 off up there plum near everyday since\u2026well, everyday nearly.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss\u2026you stay here. Tell Hop Sing to keep the water hot\u2026I\u2019ll be back shortly.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cKeep the water hot?\u201d the boy asked, puzzled.<\/p>\n Ben was already halfway around the corner of the barn. \u201cHe\u2019ll know what you mean\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss walked slowly towards the house muttering under his breath. \u201cI sure hope he does, cause I ain\u2019t got a clue\u2026\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t wanna go back, Adam\u2026please don\u2019t make me. I wanna stay here\u2026with mama,\u201d Little Joe was pleading.<\/p>\n Adam had found his little brother sitting beside the soft mound of dirt that covered his mother\u2019s grave. He had sat down next to the child and had taken Joe into his arms, settling the smaller boy on his lap.<\/p>\n \u201cYou can\u2019t stay here, Sport\u2026it\u2019s going to get dark soon, and it\u2019s going to get cold. You don\u2019t want to get sick, do you? Besides, your mama wouldn\u2019t want you out after dark like this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMama won\u2019t mind\u2026she might want company\u2026and I don\u2019t care if I get sick,\u201d the lad grumbled.<\/p>\n \u201cWell I care\u2026and Hoss would care\u2026and Hop Sing\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat about Pa?\u201d Little Joe asked, looking up with huge sad eyes. \u201cHe won\u2019t care will he\u2026he don\u2019t care about nuthin\u2019 but\u2026himself\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Ben felt the well of tears that threatened to blind him. Adam swallowed the knot that had developed in his throat.<\/p>\n \u201cOf course Pa would care\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe don\u2019t act like he does\u2026not like he used to\u2026way back when\u2026Mama was alive\u2026oh Adam, why\u2019d she have to die\u2026why\u2026why\u2026I miss her so much!\u201d wailed Little Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know Little Joe\u2026I suppose because it was her time to die. Remember, Pa used to tell us that \u2018to everything there was a season, a time to be born and a time to die\u2019\u2026and that death was part of living\u2026we\u2019re all gonna die someday, Joe\u2026and then we\u2019ll all be together again. Pa said that was God\u2019s promise\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe looked up at his brother. \u201cI don\u2019t wanna die, Adam\u2026it scares me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I don\u2019t think you have to worry about it for a very long, long time\u2026and it\u2019s okay to be afraid\u2026the thought sort of scares me too.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes really,\u201d smiled Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat about Pa\u2026I don\u2019t wanna go back there\u2026Pa\u2026well, he sort of scares me\u2026\u201d Little Joe whimpered. \u201cHe ain\u2019t happy no more\u2026and\u2026and he stopped\u2026loving us\u2026didn\u2019t he, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026that\u2019s not true! I\u2019d never stop loving you Little Joe, or\u2026you Adam, or Hoss either.\u201d<\/p>\n Both boys looked up to see their father standing before them. Adam pulled Little Joe up with him as they both stood. Neither spoke, only Little Joe clung tightly to his brother, his little arms wrapped securely about Adam\u2019s leg. Adam\u2019s hand rested reassuringly on his brother\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n Ben moved closer until the only thing between he and his sons was his wife\u2019s grave.<\/p>\n \u201cI know I\u2019ve not been much of a father to any of you\u2026I\u2019ve grieved for your mother, Little Joe\u2026I\u2019ve grieved for myself\u2026in a very selfish way and I\u2019ve left the three of you to find your own way through your grief. I\u2019m sorry for that, I should have taken into consideration the pain and hurt and the doubts and fears that each of you might have, especially you Little Joe. I\u2019ll make no excuses for my actions other than to say\u2026I blamed myself for Marie\u2019s death.\u201d<\/p>\n He noted the strange expression that washed over his elder son\u2019s face and continued.<\/p>\n \u201cI asked Marie not to take the gelding\u2026he was too spirited, but she talked me into letting her\u2026she could be very persuasive at times. So, I relented\u2026then when I saw that horse stumble and your mother fall\u2026well, I could think of nothing other than how I could have prevented her death\u2026I was consumed with more than grief\u2026I was consumed with guilt and self-hatred\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt wasn\u2019t your fault, Pa\u2026\u201d Adam said, his tone near normal other than the slight tremble it beheld.<\/p>\n \u201cI know that now, son\u2026Little Joe\u2026I\u2019m sorry for ignoring you\u2026I\u2019m sorry that you thought I had your mama locked up in my room\u2026and that scared you. I was angry\u2026with myself for letting this horrible thing happen\u2026what you heard was me\u2026beseeching your mother to forgive me. I wasn\u2019t sure that I could ever forgive myself or that you and Adam and Hoss could ever forgive me. I too was afraid, Little Joe\u2026afraid so much so that I might have lost my entire family, that I was too scared to come out of that room and face the three of you\u2026and to face life without my wife and my sons\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Ben had stepped across the mound of dirt and was now kneeling down so that he could be eye level to his youngest son.<\/p>\n \u201cI love you Little Joe\u2026you are so much a part of my love I held for your mother\u2026you\u2019re a part of me and I of you\u2026do you reckon you could ever find it in your heart to forgive me someday?\u201d Ben pleaded with the boy.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s fingers tightened on the boy\u2019s shoulder, causing Little Joe to turn his head upward and to look into his eyes. Adam smiled down at the boy and nodded his head ever so slightly. Little Joe returned the gesture and then turning back to his father, whose own eyes had suddenly misted, flung himself into his father\u2019s waiting arms.<\/p>\n Ben immediately embraced the small boy, hugging his son tightly. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry, Little Joe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI love ya Papa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd I love you!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben rose, bringing the boy up in his arms with him. He faced Adam. \u201cAnd I love you, Adam\u2026and I thank you for all you\u2019ve done for your brothers\u2026while I\u2026was away.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI love you too, Pa\u2026and\u2026I\u2019m glad you\u2019re back\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n The embrace would be something that Ben would remember for the rest of his life. It was a sigma of the new life and new relationship that had suddenly developed between himself and his oldest son. A new respect had sprung forth\u2026giving each the chance to see the other in a more mature, manlike manner. Adam was no longer just the eldest son but a man at last\u2026a man that his father\u2019s admiration for would continue to grow for years thereafter.<\/p>\n \u201cWell\u2026I think we should all go home now\u2026Hoss is waiting for us and I know he\u2019s anxious to hear that things are going to be different, very different from now on,\u201d Ben said, placing Joe on his feet.<\/p>\n As they turned to go, Little Joe reached for his father\u2019s hand. When Ben looked down at the boy and smiled, Joe returned the smile.<\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2026you sure do smell funny\u2026and have ya looked in the mirror lately\u2026you surely could do with a shave.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stopped, tossing his head backwards and laughed loudly. \u201cOh Little Joe\u2026yes I have looked in the mirror\u2026and I didn\u2019t like what I saw any more than what you like looking at me right this minute. And that\u2019s another promise I aim on keeping\u2026the minute we get home, I\u2019m taking a bath and I\u2019m shaving\u2026I didn\u2019t like that man in the mirror\u2026he was a stranger\u2026but he\u2019s gonna be gone soon, I promise!\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe wasn\u2019t too sure what his father meant, but he commented just the same.<\/p>\n \u201cGood, cause I like my old papa best!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed again.<\/p>\n \u201cSo do I, Little Joe, so do I!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI guess that makes three of us then,\u201d Adam added. \u201cFour, if you count Hoss\u2026come on, let\u2019s hurry\u2026\u201d he said then ran on ahead before his father or brother could see the tears that had welled in his eyes yet again. He was so glad\u2026so very happy to have his father back\u2026back amongst the living rather than hidden away behind a locked door trying to call back the dead. He\u2019d been missing Marie\u2026but he had missed his father so much more\u2026so much so that he\u2019d never be able to admit to anyone just how hollow he had begun to feel\u2026<\/p>\n \u2018Welcome back, Pa\u2026\u2019 he said to himself.<\/p>\n The End<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
\n\u201cLittle Joe, you have to eat!\u201d<\/p>\n
\nHop Sing entered the dark room silently. Gloom emitted from every corner as stink on a garbage heap. Quietly, he sat the breakfast tray down on the table and glanced toward the bed. Ben lay motionless, face up, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. Hop Sing glanced up in automatic motion, not seeing anything that could have held one\u2019s attention so intently. With a sigh, he lit the lamp, bringing a glimmer of light into the room.<\/p>\n
\nThe door opened and Hop Sing entered the room, lugging the heavy tub along with him. He sat it in the middle of the room. \u201cWater be hot soon,\u201d he said, never looking up at Ben.<\/p>\n
\nBy the time that Ben had reached the lake, he was tired, so very tired. Having been immobile for so long had caused his strength to wane. He stopped beside a huge boulder and rested his back against the cool stone. A short ways off, he could hear Adam and Joe speaking in low tones. He crept closer.<\/p>\n