{"id":12193,"date":"2004-11-01T21:48:36","date_gmt":"2004-11-02T02:48:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12193"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:09:21","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:09:21","slug":"why-didnt-she-love-me-by-debbieb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12193","title":{"rendered":"Why Didn’t She Love Me? (by DebbieB)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/b>\u00a0 In real life, it’s a question many adopted children ask in regard to their birth mothers, mine did…and I told him the truth…she loved him very much, that’s why she made the ultimate sacrifice…to ensure that he would always be protected and well cared for.\u00a0 For Joe Cartwright’s friend, it was no different. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Rated G\u00a0 WC 10,000<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Why Didn’t She Love Me?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with\u2019em?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked from his newspaper at his son.\u00a0 His face bore an odd expression.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, \u2018what\u2019s wrong with him\u2019? I didn\u2019t realize that anything was wrong with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss scrunched up his face, rubbing the back of his head with his hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s actin\u2019 all strange like, ain\u2019t he, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam, who had been reading from Shakespeare, laid aside the book and nodded his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know about strange, Hoss, but it is out of the ordinary, the way he\u2019s been acting\u2026you know, Pa\u2026your youngest cub hasn\u2019t been in trouble for about\u2026hmm two weeks now\u2026and, I might add, he\u2019s been very agreeable,\u201d Adam explained.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked more perplexed than before as he sat down on the corner of the coffee table, facing Adam.\u00a0 Hoss was standing in front of the hearth and sat down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand the two of you\u2026isn\u2019t this what you wanted of him\u2026to be \u2018agreeable\u2019 and to stay out of \u2018trouble\u2019?\u201d Ben asked.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s like I\u2019ve been trying to tell you both, your younger brother is growing up, he\u2019s a good kid\u2026he always has been\u2026most of the time,\u201d Ben added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy sure, Pa\u2026but Joe\u2026well, sir\u2026he ain\u2019t been exactly himself\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa\u2026Joe\u2019s been too agreeable\u2026too good\u2026something\u2019s going on with the boy, I guarantee it,\u201d Adam stated with certainty as he leaned back and picked up his book.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou best keep your eye on him,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood to his feet, his hands firmly on his hips as he shook his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s about the most ridiculous thing I\u2019ve ever heard you say, Adam,\u201d groaned Ben.\u00a0 \u201cI still say, Joe\u2019s growing up\u2026and as for being too agreeable, that makes for a much more pleasant environment for all of us.\u00a0I would think that the two of you would appreciate his efforts,\u201d stormed Ben as he moved to his desk and pulled out his ledgers.\u00a0 \u201cI have work to do, I\u2019d suggest that you boys follow your younger brother\u2019s example and turn in, we have a long, hard day ahead of us tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss pinched his lips tightly, refraining from making a comment.\u00a0 As he stood to his feet and joined his older brother, already on his way upstairs, he paused.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNight, Pa\u2026and just so\u2019s ya know\u2026I am proud of Little Joe\u2026but it ain\u2019t natural, not for him leastways.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben had glanced up but at Hoss\u2019 words, shook his head in disbelief and returned to working on his figures.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood night!\u201d he called.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben waited until he knew that both Adam and Hoss had closed the doors to their rooms before he looked up.\u00a0 A deep sigh slipped silently into the peaceful atmosphere as Ben set aside his work, closing his ledger.\u00a0His thoughts seemed to amble about in his head, confusing thoughts that, though he had not mentioned them to his sons, had been plaguing him for several days.\u00a0 What Adam and Hoss had both tried to tell him about the behavior of his youngest son had been worrying him as well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben had first noticed the change in Joe several weeks ago.\u00a0 They had been minor, subtle little changes, but non-the-less, noticeable from the onset.\u00a0 At first, Ben had tried to reason them away, thinking that perhaps Joseph was trying to please him to gain favor for something he intended to plead with his father to be allowed to do, or have.\u00a0 But when the request never came, Ben just assumed that Little Joe had taken another step toward manhood, an ongoing process that seemed to be taking him far longer to obtain than it had his two older brothers.\u00a0 But the change in the boy was pleasant, and Ben had kept his thoughts to himself, watching constantly for signs that the pleasantries might vanish as quickly as they had appeared.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018This is silly,\u2019 Ben grumbled to himself, pushing back his chair.\u00a0 \u2018I have more faith in my son than to just assume that his good behavior is anything other than what it is\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe joined his family at the breakfast table just after everyone else had sat down.\u00a0 He smiled happily at his father and then turned with a cheery face to greet his brothers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMorning Hoss, Adam,\u201d he grinned as he pulled out his chair and sat down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss and Adam exchanged quick glances and then returned the greeting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019cha got for me to do today, big brother?\u201d Joe said as he popped a forkful of eggs into his mouth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNeed you talk with your mouth full?\u201d Adam corrected the boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe swallowed, glanced at his father to check his reaction, but Ben was busy discussing something with Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry,\u201d pleaded Joe.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you need me to do?\u00a0 I can start breaking those mustangs\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, sure you can!\u201d Adam laughed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReally?\u201d Joe asked, surprised that his brother had so readily agreed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam frowned and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo\u2026not really\u2026you need to clean out the chicken coop and then the tack room, or you can do the tack first, makes no difference to me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe chicken coop!\u00a0 Aw\u2026Adam, come on, let me do some real work\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike breaking the mustangs?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe flashed his brother a bright smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo way\u2026you\u2019re too young\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fourteen going on\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re too young, Joe\u2026ask Pa, he\u2019ll tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam took a sip of his coffee and waited for his father to support his decision.\u00a0 Joe looked over at Ben and smiled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour brother is right son\u2026you are too young yet to start breaking horses\u2026give it a couple more years and then\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The smile remained on the young face, but Ben saw the disappointment in the boy\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s alright, Pa\u2026I understand,\u201d Joe said and then turned to his older brother.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll do the chicken coop first, before it gets too hot outside,\u201d he said as he resumed his eating.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s fork stopped midway to his mouth as he stared in awe at his younger brother.\u00a0 He had been expecting an argument, for he knew how Joe was chomping at the bit to get on a wild horse and be the first man to ride it.\u00a0 And he knew how badly Joe hated cleaning the chicken coop, so when Joe accepted so heartily, Adam was stunned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When he looked in his father\u2019s direction, he saw that Ben was watching him and smiling.\u00a0 The almost, \u2018I told you so\u2019 look that Ben gave him, irked Adam somewhat but he smiled regardless.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Joe,\u201d Adam muttered, pushing back his chair and standing.\u00a0 \u201cSee you later, I\u2019ve got work to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMe too,\u201d Hoss said, following along after his older brother.\u00a0 \u201cSee ya, Shortshanks,\u201d he laughed as he stopped to ruffle Joe\u2019s wayward curls.\u00a0 \u201cYa do a good job on that ole coop, ya hear?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe giggled.\u00a0 \u201cI will, don\u2019t ya worry,\u201d he called after his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Ben heard the front door close, he turned to Joe smiling.\u00a0 \u201cYou certainly are in a good mood this morning, any special reason?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNope\u2026may I be excused, Pa\u2026I\u2019m not really very hungry\u2026especially when I think about what I gotta do today,\u201d Joe said as his smile died away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I suppose\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Joe said with a bit more spirit.\u00a0 Pushing back his chair, he tossed his napkin in his plate.\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2026when I\u2019m finished with the chicken coop and tidying up the tack room, do ya mind if I ride over to Bobby Griffin\u2019s house?\u00a0 We sorta thought that since it was Saturday, we might do a little fishin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben set his coffee cup on the table, watching his youngest son fidget with a button on his shirt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t pull that thread, Joe\u2026you know Hop Sing hates it when we lose a button.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, sorry,\u201d Joe said as he twisted the thread around the button.\u00a0 \u201cCan I, Pa?\u00a0 Please?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMay I\u2026\u201d smiled Ben.\u00a0 \u201cAnd yes, after<\/em> you finish your chores.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave his father a cheeky grin and bolted from the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJOE, THE DOOR!\u201d Ben yelled as the door banged shut.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seconds later the door reopened and Joe peeked his head around, \u201cSorry, Pa\u2026and thanks!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The door banged louder the second time, and Ben couldn\u2019t help but scrunch up his face at the sound of the windows rattling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was just finishing up when Adam returned and entered the barn.\u00a0 He stuck his head out of the tack room and smiled a greeting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Adam, how\u2019s your day going?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Joe\u2026it\u2019s going pretty good.\u00a0 We\u2019re getting things done at least. I just came back for more supplies.\u00a0 What about you, are you finished yet?\u201d Adam said as he moved to the door of the tack room and peered inside.\u00a0 \u201cNot bad, kid,\u201d laughed Adam as he gave his brother\u2019s shoulder a squeeze.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGee, thanks.\u00a0 Say, ya need me to help you and Hoss?\u00a0 I don\u2019t mind; Bobby Griffin and I were going to go fishing later, but if you need me\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam paused to study the boy\u2019s face and then shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo thanks, you\u2019ve done what I needed you to do.\u00a0 If Pa says you can go fishing, who am I to disagree?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam carried an armload of supplies to the wagon and placed them in the back.\u00a0 As he turned, he nearly collided with Joe, who had carried the last of the items out for his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Joe,\u201d smiled Adam as he climbed into the seat and picked up the reins.\u00a0 He looked down at his brother, trying to figure out the boy\u2019s motives.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTell me something, Joe,\u201d he began.\u00a0 \u201cWhy all of a sudden are you trying so hard to please everyone?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face suddenly became solemn and he lowered his head, no longer willing to look his brother in the eye.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what you mean,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s with you?\u00a0 I mean, you never argue anymore\u2026you do everything Pa and I ask\u2026regardless of how distasteful the job is\u2026and you never complain.\u00a0 I appreciate the change, but personally, I think you\u2019re up to something\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not fair,\u201d growled Joe, his hurt feelings showing on his young face.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I\u2019m not up to anything\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned and stomped off back to the barn.\u00a0 Adam twisted his head and watched as the boy moved across the yard, sure that he had hit the nail on the head.\u00a0 For a fraction of a second, Adam had seen a spark of the old Joe ignite the hazel eyes, but just as quickly, he had noticed how Joe had avoided a confrontation by escaping to the barn.\u00a0 Adam clicked to the horses, still trying to figure out his younger brother\u2019s motives.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Inside the barn, Joe paused to lean his back against the closed door.\u00a0 He willed his wildly beating heart to return to a more normal rhythm.\u00a0 His chest hurt as he sucked in large gulps of air to steady his breathing.\u00a0Joe knew that he could not keep up the good-boy act much longer, his nerves were wearing thin but only Adam suspected there might be a reason other than just wanting to please his family and prove to them that he was grown up.\u00a0 Inside, his stomach churned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kept you?\u00a0 I thought you weren\u2019t coming,\u201d Bobby said as he swung down to the ground.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boy had been perched on a branch in the oak tree that stood near the stream where the two boys were suppose to be fishing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Bobby,\u201d grinned Joe, dismounting.\u00a0 \u201cI had to do an errand for my pa after I finished my chores.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe hobbled his horse so that the animal could enjoy munching on the tender growth of grass that grew along the water\u2019s edge.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s your fishing pole?\u201d he asked Bobby.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bobby had moved to the edge of the bank and had sat down.\u00a0 Joe propped his fishing cane against the tree where Bobby had been waiting and joined his friend.\u00a0 Bobby was tugging at his boots and once he had his feet free, he dipped his toes into the cold water.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t you gonna fish?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Joe\u2026I\u2019m not in the mood for fishing\u2026\u201d the boy said in a sad voice.\u00a0 \u201cCan we just talk?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Bobby turned Joe\u2019s way, Joe noted the sad countenance on his friend\u2019s face and the tears that glistened in the boy\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d agreed Joe, \u201cif that\u2019s what you\u2019d rather do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bobby nodded his head, picking up a stone and tossing it into the water.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, Bobby\u2026ya look like ya about to\u2026cry?\u201d prodded Joe, slipping his boots off and tossing them up on the bank.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bobby ran his shirtsleeve across the front of his nose and looked at Joe.\u00a0 His eyes were sad and the sight made Joe feel sorry for his pal.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou remember what I told ya the other day?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure\u2026about your parents\u2026not really being your parents?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026that\u2019s it\u2026and how my real mama gave me away when I was just a little baby?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI remember\u2026you said that your ma\u2026your adopted ma, I mean, Mrs. Griffin\u2026told you that when your real mother gave you to her, your real mother told her that she was going on a trip or something like that,\u201d Joe said, recalling the day that his friend had shared his secret with him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMa said that she, Lacy\u2026that\u2019s her real name, had to get away\u2026but no body really knew why\u2026but my ma said Lacy said she\u2019d be back someday\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut she ain\u2019t never come back, has she?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about your pa\u2026your real pa, not Mr. Griffin.\u00a0 What happened to him?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t know\u2026don\u2019t reckon anyone knows what became of him.\u00a0 Joe\u2026ya wanna know what\u2019s so strange?\u201d Bobby said, glancing sideways at Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy ma told me that my real mother, really did love me\u2026but I don\u2019t believe it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked puzzled.\u00a0 How could a mother say that she loved her baby and then give him away?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d Joe questioned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCause\u2026if she loved me\u2026she wouldn\u2019t have given me away.\u00a0 Would your Pa give you away?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes widened\u2026he didn\u2019t reckon his Pa would give him away\u2026what reason would he have?\u00a0 Joe had been thinking on the matter for weeks now, ever since Bobby first told him about how his real mother, Lacy, had given him away to the Griffins.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI hope not,\u201d Joe said, thinking out loud.\u00a0 \u201cWhy do you reckon she gave you away\u2026I mean, if she was only going on a trip or something, why\u2019d she not come back?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa told me that my mother promised to come back to get me\u2026once she got settled and all, but she never did.\u00a0 Pa said she must have been too busy\u2026had too many places to go and just didn\u2019t want a kid under foot all the time, you know Joe, to get in her way and all,\u201d Bobby reasoned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa said she was just young and scared and that she didn\u2019t really know how to take care of a baby.\u00a0 He said she told him that I cried all the time and made a lot of extra work for her and that the man she was with, didn\u2019t want me hanging round\u2026haha\u2026me a baby, hanging around,\u201d Bobby said with a disgusted laugh.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t make much sense, does it, Bobby?\u201d Joe said, thoughtful of the idea.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNope, but guess what else, Joe?\u201d Bobby muttered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe heard his friend sniff his nose and turned to see tiny droplets roll from the boy\u2019s eyes and trickle down the front of his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBobby,\u201d Joe said, unsure of himself.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019cha crying for?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bobby stood up and walked over to the tree and leaned his forehead against the rough bark.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMa and Pa got a letter from my real mother last week\u2026she\u2019s coming by to see me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A sob caught in the back of the boy\u2019s throat.\u00a0 Joe had gotten up and moved to stand behind his friend.\u00a0 He placed his hand on Bobby\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAren\u2019t you glad, Bobby\u2026to get to see your real mother?\u201d Joe asked hesitantly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026don\u2019t know, Joe\u2026I\u2019m scared.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cScared?\u00a0 Of what\u2026she\u2019s your mother\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bobby turned around and faced Joe.\u00a0 \u201cWhat if she doesn\u2019t like me?\u00a0 What if she wants to take me away with her?\u00a0 What about my mama and my pa?\u00a0 Joe\u2026I\u2019m scared\u2026just plain scared!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bobby walked back to the water\u2019s edge and tossed in a stick.\u00a0 He spun around again, facing Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was a burden to her, I cried a lot, I made extra work, she didn\u2019t want me to get in her way of having fun\u2026she had friends who didn\u2019t want me tagging along\u2026think about it Little Joe.\u00a0 You\u2019ve always said how your brothers hated for you to tag along after them all the time, Hop Sing complains about how much extra work you cause him, why, I\u2019ve even heard your own father ranting about some of the stupid things you do and just how much trouble you can get into\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know that, Bobby!\u201d snapped Joe, losing his temper.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bobby had said the same thing to him before, and the thoughts had plagued him something fierce for days now.\u00a0 In his heart, he never meant being such a pain to his family, but since Bobby had reminded him of it, Joe had lived in fear that perhaps his father might be harboring thoughts of\u2026dear God\u2026no\u2026Pa wouldn\u2019t\u2026give him away\u2026would he?\u00a0 Joe shuddered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to repeat it, Bobby\u2026my pa ain\u2019t like your ma\u2026he loves me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe realized what he had just said and hushed.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Bobby, I wasn\u2019t meaning that your real ma didn\u2019t love you\u2026but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut she didn\u2019t\u2026why Joe\u2026why didn\u2019t she love me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was surprised to see his entire family in the yard when he rode up.\u00a0 He almost snickered; Hoss had two chickens under one arm and was holding the old red rooster by his legs.\u00a0 But when he glanced at his father, coated in bird feathers, he decided he\u2019d best not start laughing, yet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you doing to the chickens?\u201d Joe asked, straining to keep a straight face.\u00a0 \u201cWe having company for supper?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam ran from the barn about that time, before Ben could answer his son\u2019s question.\u00a0 Joe turned, just in time to see his oldest brother make a daring dive toward Hop Sing\u2019s prize egg layer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGot her!\u201d shouted Adam, grabbing the hen and trying hard to hold on to the chicken\u2019s legs.\u00a0 The hen squawked loudly, protesting against her capture.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam followed Hoss and his chickens to the coop where Hop Sing waited beside the door.\u00a0 Once all the chickens were secure, the family converged on Joe, circling him.\u00a0 Each wore angry looks that made Joe draw up inside.\u00a0 He smiled, not sure why they were all glaring at him the way they were.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d he mumbled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019LL TELL YOU WHAT\u2019S GOING ON, YOUNG MAN\u2026YOU LEFT THE DOOR TO THE COOP OPENED AND WE\u2019VE BEEN ROUNDING UP HENS ALL AFTERNOON!\u201d bellowed Ben in a loud voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe could see that the anger had turned his father\u2019s eyes dark and he inwardly cringed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSORRY! IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?\u201d stormed Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Shortshanks, ya got any ideay just how much work you cost us this afternoon?\u201d Hoss demanded.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll probably never be able to eat chicken again\u2026why I\u2019ve been pecked, speared, pecked some more.\u00a0 I\u2019ve stepped in, slipped in and sat in more chicken\u2026you know what\u2026why I outta pound ya good!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot to mention that the chickens made so much noise that the cow kicked me when I was milking her and then the bucket of milk got turned over and ole Bessie tried to kick me again when one chicken landed on her butt and pecked her good\u2026.Little Joe, I should\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLi\u2019tle Joe, bad boy\u2026let Hop Sing\u2019s chickens run wild.\u00a0 They get in garden, eat seeds, dig in dirt\u2026make mess\u2026stop laying eggs\u2026Li\u2019tle Joe verily bad boy\u2026Papa should take boy to wood shed and thrash! Hump\u2026\u201d snorted the servant as he marched angrily toward the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe swallowed hard and lowered his head, ashamed.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u2026honest, Pa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou should be, young man\u2026your carelessness cost your brothers and I a lot of time we could have used on more important things\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t do it on purpose,\u201d Joe said in a weak voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He glanced up at his father and then at his brothers; they were still very much put out with him, it was easy to see.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou never do anything on purpose\u2026do you?\u201d jeered Adam.\u00a0 \u201cI knew all this good behavior couldn\u2019t last long\u2026come on Hoss, let\u2019s get cleaned up\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stormed off toward the house.\u00a0 Hoss shot Joe a glaring look and then followed after his older brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood in the center of the yard with his youngest son, trying to decide what he should do about the matter.\u00a0 He watched his son\u2019s face, seeing the pitiful expression of remorse and judged the boy to be near tears.\u00a0 When he reached out with his hand and tilted the quivering chin upward, Ben\u2019s heart melted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHonest\u2026I didn\u2019t leave it opened on purpose,\u201d murmured Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026I suppose you didn\u2019t\u2026I shouldn\u2019t have yelled at you so\u2026I apologize.\u00a0 It\u2019s just that I had a gentleman here for a business meeting and when all the chickens got out, and Hop Sing began shouting and chasing after them, they got into the barn, scared the cow, and from there it just got worse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mr. Bishop left, very upset mind you; one chicken flew into the house through the opened window and landed on his head.\u00a0 Needless to say, when the chicken\u2026relieved herself on his head\u2026well, Joseph\u2026you have no idea just how angry I was with you.\u00a0 I\u2019m still angry\u2026very angry\u2026we\u2019ll have a necessary little talk later about your responsibilities, but right now go get cleaned up for supper,\u201d Ben ordered, pointing to the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYessir,\u201d Joe said and turned to go.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he made his way to the house, Joe could feel his father\u2019s eyes boring into his back.\u00a0 He tried not to steal a peek, but when he reached the door, he cast a wary glance over his shoulder; Ben was still staring at him, and the fact left him with a dread, deep down inside of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Supper was served but Joe was barely able to eat what was put before him.\u00a0 He continually glanced around the table at his family to watch their expressions.\u00a0 For the most part, Joe\u2019s brothers ate in silence, speaking only to each other and to their father when Ben asked them a question.\u00a0 It was obvious to the young boy that Hoss and Adam were still mad at him.\u00a0 Occasionally, Joe would look over at his father, hoping that Ben would say something, but his father was either too busy eating or otherwise engaged in conversation with one or the other of his brothers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe let out a long sigh.\u00a0 He was worried about the necessary little talk his father had forewarned him about.\u00a0 Why his father had always made him wait for such times, Joe never had been able to figure out.\u00a0 Was it part of the punishment, to have to wait, not knowing for sure whether his father would actually spend the time talking to him, or using his hand to warm his backside.\u00a0 Joe gulped and swallowed the bite that was in his mouth.\u00a0 It seemed to lodge in his throat and the boy was forced to gulp down his glass of milk to free the object from his throat.\u00a0 Joe began to cough, drawing the attention of his family.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you alright, son?\u201d Ben asked, concerned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe swallowed again and nodded his head.\u00a0 \u201cYessir, I just got choked\u2026I\u2019m fine,\u201d he said in a squeaky voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou shouldn\u2019t try to fill your mouth so full,\u201d Adam commented.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t!\u201d snapped Joe in his own defense.\u00a0 \u201cI told ya, I got choked, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust be careful, son, I saw you guzzling your milk\u2026you need to slow down.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben had turned his attention back to Hoss and picked up the conversation where it had ended moments before.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was standing at his window when the knock on his door came.\u00a0 He turned around slowly, just in time to see his father open the door and peek into his room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMay I come in?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t sure why his father even bothered to ask, it was his house, he could go into any room he wished, and besides, thought Joe to himself, he sure wasn\u2019t about to tell his father no, that he couldn\u2019t come in, even though right at the moment, he wished he could.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben walked across the room and stood in front of his son.\u00a0 He could see the anxiety in the boy\u2019s eyes and knew that his son thought himself in big trouble.\u00a0 Ben almost smiled\u2026he had been mad at the boy\u2026very mad, but over the course of the last couple of hours, his anger had died down.\u00a0 He had no intentions of doing to the boy, what Joe feared most.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you sit down, son?\u201d Ben offered, pointing at the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo I have\u2019ta?\u201d Joe asked, almost shyly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, if you\u2019d rather stand, but I think I\u2019ll sit,\u201d Ben said, taking the place on the bed that he had offered his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAbout today, Pa,\u201d Joe said, his words hesitant.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, about today, Joseph\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t leave the chicken coop door opened on purpose,\u201d Joe stammered, \u201chonest\u2026I thought I had latched it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, apparently you thought wrong, didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cApparently\u2026\u201d Joe murmured, raising his head slightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa\u2026it won\u2019t happen again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, come here, please, and sit down,\u201d Ben said, again pointing to the edge of the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This time Joe did not refused, but sat down next to his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon,\u201d began Ben.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve never asked anything of you that I knew you were not ready to handle, now have I?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the things I do ask of you, really are quite simple, are they not?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYessir\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen why is it that you seem to always be in such a hurry to do the simplest of tacks, that you cannot take a few extra minutes to do them properly?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had lowered his head, unable to meet the probing eyes of his father.\u00a0 He shrugged his shoulders and muttered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNeither do I, Joseph\u2026but from now on, I will expect you to do your work with the greatest of care.\u00a0 I expect you to do your best\u2026nothing less\u2026is that understood?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYessir.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood, because leaving the coop opened, is not your best\u2026I know it may seem like a trivial thing to you\u2026but to Hop Sing, it was most important.\u00a0 He depends on those chickens to keep his kitchen running smoothly, and to keep us\u2026as a family\u2026fed.\u00a0 When the chickens scatter and become frightened\u2026they are silly creatures, Joe\u2026easily spooked\u2026and when that happens, they stop laying their eggs\u2026they chatter endlessly and all that is quite disrupting for Hop Sing.\u00a0 And to me, I might add\u2026I don\u2019t cotton to chickens leaving their droppings on the heads of my business associates\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe couldn\u2019t smother the giggle that slipped past his lips.\u00a0 The image of the hen on Mr. Bishop\u2019s head was too much.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou find that funny?\u201d Ben growled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen why are you snickering, young man?\u201d Ben asked giving his son a stern look.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe wiped the grin off his face and hung his head low.\u00a0 After a long pause, he looked into his father\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa\u2026but I can\u2019t help picturing it in my mind,\u201d Joe said softly, having to look away again to hide his smile from his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben was quiet so long that Joe looked up.\u00a0 He was surprised to see the tiny grin that tugged at his father\u2019s lips.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Joe muttered in a whispered voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood to his feet and moved to the window, pushing back the curtains to peer outside.<\/p>\n

Now that he had time to think back on the incident, it was rather funny.\u00a0 Ben recalled the look on his associate\u2019s face when the chicken had landed on his head\u2026and then again when the chicken had\u2026left it\u2019s mark, but Ben could not let his son know that he now considered the incident comical.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben said, turning back around.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His smile was gone and his eyes had taken on a serious countenance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMonday on your way home from school, I want you to stop by Mr. Bishop\u2019s office and apologize for your\u2026oversight\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe jumped to his feet, stunned.\u00a0 \u201cApologize!\u00a0 Pa\u2026you can\u2019t be serious\u2026Mr. Bishop will think I did it on purpose\u2026and you know I didn\u2019t!\u00a0 Why should I apologize to him anyway\u2026I heard you telling Adam that you didn\u2019t much like the man\u2026oops,\u201d finished Joe in a whisper.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes widened and Joe noticed how quickly they could turn black.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJOSEPH!\u00a0 How dare you!\u00a0 Have you been eavesdropping again?\u201d stormed Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo sir\u2026I couldn\u2019t help but hear\u2026don\u2019t you remember, you were yelling\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s hands were placed firmly on his hips.\u00a0 He lowered his upper body until he was practically nose-to-nose with his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat will be enough!\u201d he ordered in an authoritative tone that brought an immediate conclusion to the subject.\u00a0 \u201cApologize\u2026understand?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gulped.\u00a0 \u201cYessir,\u201d he agreed as he watched his father storm from the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was on his way downstairs when he stopped suddenly, listening to the conversation between his oldest brother and his father.\u00a0 He recalled his father\u2019s anger from two nights ago when he had mistakenly let it be known that he had inadvertently overheard a previous conversation.\u00a0 Joe started to turn back, but, unable to resist, he waited.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey already have so many kids, one more shouldn\u2019t make that much difference,\u201d Ben was saying.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t think so either, Pa\u2026and Joe would be happy there,\u201d Adam said to his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s heart began to beat wildly, making his chest feel tight.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSince we\u2019re all going to leave at the same time, I think Joe will be fine with the idea, don\u2019t you, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think the Devlins will be the perfect home for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Home!\u2019\u00a0 The word echoed in the young boy\u2019s heart.\u00a0 \u2018What on earth are they planning?\u2019 his heart cried.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll tell him that the three of us are going on business trips and that we\u2019re all going in separate directions\u2026which isn\u2019t far from the truth,\u201d Ben said and then laughed softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe knows we do that occasionally\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt a well of tears billow into his eyes as his mind recalled the conversation he had with his friend, Bobby.\u00a0 \u2018Going on a trip\u2019, those were the same words that Bobby\u2019s mother had said, just before she had given him away, to the Griffins!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt as if he might be sick.\u00a0 All his fears had climaxed and overwhelmed him to the point that he had to run back into his room to keep from spewing the contents of his stomach all over the floor.\u00a0 He barely made it to his room, and the pitcher that rested on the washstand.\u00a0 Grabbing the vase and setting it aside, Joe lowered his head into the bowl, heaving several times before his stomach settled itself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Quickly, Joe washed off his face.\u00a0 He could hear someone coming up the stairs and wanted to be on his way down before someone had a chance to see the mess he\u2019d just made.\u00a0 Thinking quickly, he tossed the towel over the bowl and hurried into the hall, where he met his father coming towards him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled warmly at his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was just coming up to see if you were up,\u201d Ben said cheerfully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded his head, secretly wondering how his father could be plotting to give him away and still wear a look in his eyes that resembled love.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was just washing\u2026my face,\u201d Joe said as he hurried by his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He had no desire to let his father see how flushed he was or how his hands trembled.\u00a0 Before Ben reached the bottom step, Joe was already sitting at the table, serving himself.\u00a0 Ben gave the boy a curious look and then glanced at his oldest two sons, raising his brows in a puzzled manner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got to hurry,\u201d Joe said, avoiding looking up from his plate.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to go by Mr. Bishop\u2019s office this morning, instead of after school.\u201d\u00a0 Joe glanced over at his father.\u00a0 \u201cIs that alright with you, Pa?\u201d he questioned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes\u2026that will be fine,\u201d Ben replied.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, before you go\u2026I\u2019d like to talk to you about something\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Pa?\u201d Joe asked, suddenly pushing back his chair, \u201cI have to do my morning chores before I leave, can it wait until later\u2026please?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boy dreaded to hear what he knew his father was fixing to say, hoping that if he could postpone the inevitable for a few hours more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben said in a stern voice, \u201csit back down\u2026we have to talk now!\u201d ordered Ben, glancing around at all three young men.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe did as instructed and lowered his body back down onto his chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Pa?\u201d he asked in a quiet voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour brothers and I are going away for a spell\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe quickly raised his head and looked at his father.\u00a0 He turned to study the faces of both his brothers, but they refused to look at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere are you going?\u201d Joe asked in a low voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His stomach began to churn again and once more Joe felt as if he might be sick.\u00a0 He swallowed repeatedly to keep the sick feeling from surfacing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOn a trip\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy can\u2019t I go?\u201d he asked suddenly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He saw his father hesitate and then glance at Adam and Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause you have school\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI could make up the work.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026I\u2019m not sure how long we\u2019ll be gone\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe glanced at his brothers and then turned to his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre they going, too?\u201d he wanted to know.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes\u2026but not with me\u2026they each have other business that will take them in opposite directions,\u201d answered Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen why can\u2019t I stay here with Hop Sing?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause, Joseph, Hop Sing is going to San Francisco to visit one of his numerous cousins, that\u2019s why I have made arrangements with Charlie Devlin for you to say with them until I come home\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf you come home,\u201d Joe whispered under his breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, son, did you say something?\u201d Ben asked, watching how Joe seemed to be fighting back tears.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe raised his head to look at his father.\u00a0 Ben inwardly cringed at the downtrodden expression on his young son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI asked when would you be home?\u201d Joe fibbed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure, son how long I, or your brothers, will be away.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe swallowed several times to wash down the lump that had sprung into his throat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen are you leaving?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIn the morning\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pushed back his chair, standing to his feet.\u00a0 His head was low so that his father could not see the hidden hurt that shined in his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll come straight home after school then, and pack my things,\u201d muttered Joe as he turned and ran from the house, leaving his family to wonder at his sudden display of emotion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For several moments, no one said a word.\u00a0 And then Hoss spoke up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe wasn\u2019t very pleased with the ideay.\u00a0 Reckon I could stay here, Pa\u2026I\u2019d keep an eye on the boy\u2026honest.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned and smiled at his middle son.\u00a0 \u201cI know you would, Hoss, and I appreciate your willingness, but I need you to make that trip to Ogden for me.\u00a0 Adam has no other choice but to go to Salt Lake City and I\u2019m desperately needed elsewhere\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s gonna think we all deserted\u2019em,\u201d Hoss said with a frown.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps, but you and I know that isn\u2019t so,\u201d smiled Ben as he rose from his seat.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d best be getting ready to go, Adam, are those horses ready?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam wiped his mouth and tossed his napkin into his plate.\u00a0 \u201cYes sir, I\u2019ll have a couple of the men put them in the corral.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Little Joe?\u201d Bobby asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two boys sat alone together under the large elm tree off to the side of the schoolhouse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had been quiet all morning, lost in his own private torment, but he turned to his friend.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen\u2019s your mother arriving?\u201d he asked, quick to change the subject.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe got here yesterday,\u201d Bobby informed his pal.\u00a0 \u201cAnd guess what, Joe\u2026guess what she came here just to tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bobby looked away, but not before Joe saw the sparkle of tears fill the other boy\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe just came here to tell me that she was going to have another baby!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bobby jumped up and walked several paces away from Joe, who remained seated, his back pressed up against the trunk of the tree.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSoon\u2026\u201d Bobby turned back to face Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI asked her if she was planning on giving this baby away too\u2026wanna know what she told me?\u201d Bobby asked with a sob.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He went on without giving Joe a chance to respond.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe told me that she was going to keep this baby.\u00a0 When I asked her why, she said because she wanted this baby\u2026that she loved it, even though it wasn\u2019t born yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe saw a lone tear roll from Bobby\u2019s eye and travel down his friend\u2019s cheek.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t know what to say, so he waited.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI asked her how come she didn\u2019t love me when I was a baby\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did she say?\u201d asked Joe, still watching his friend\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bobby\u2019s face puckered up in disgust.\u00a0 He moved to sit down on the ground, facing Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe started to cry a bit and said she did love me\u2026but when I was born, she wasn\u2019t able to care for me, like she is now.\u00a0 She\u2019s married, Joe, she has a new husband that she says takes good care of her and will their baby, too.\u00a0 But when I was born she was all alone; she didn\u2019t have a husband, Joe, I was born out of wedlock, I think is what she called it.\u00a0 She was afraid something would happen to me, so she chose to give me to my parents\u2026they wanted a baby really bad and couldn\u2019t have one of their own, so she gave me to them.\u00a0 They promised to love me and care for me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey have\u2026haven\u2019t they, Bobby?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Little Joe\u2026I love my ma and pa\u2026but Lacy\u2026she\u2019s my real mother\u2026and no matter what she\u2019s done, I love her too\u2026I just don\u2019t understand why she didn\u2019t love me back,\u201d Bobby said quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Both boys were silent for several minutes, before Joe spoke.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy pa and brothers are going away, Bobby.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s sending me to the Devlins to live,\u201d Joe said in a quiet voice, almost a whisper.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bobby jerked his head up; his eyes were wide.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe Devlins?\u00a0 For how long, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pinched his lips tightly together and shook his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026but, I\u2019m scared, Bobby\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf what, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m scared that they won\u2019t come back\u2026just like your ma didn\u2019t come back when she gave you away.\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid that Pa\u2019s gonna give me\u2026to the Devlins.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAw, Joe, your pa wouldn\u2019t do that\u2026would he?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026he was awfully mad at me yesterday\u2026and then this morning, I heard him tell Adam that the Devlins had so many kids, one more wouldn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 And Adam said that the Devlins would be a good home for me\u2026he said he didn\u2019t know when he\u2019d be back\u2026but I don\u2019t think any of them will ever come back\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s voice trailed off into a whisper and when Bobby looked into the hazel eyes, he noted the tears that had welled up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what Ma told me about Lacy\u2026that\u2019s when my parents decided to adopt me\u2026I think they knew that my mother would never really come back\u2026or want me,\u201d Bobby said in a hurtful voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI gotta be going, Bobby\u2026I promised Pa that I would come straight home, and I\u2019m already late,\u201d Joe said, jumping to his feet.\u00a0 \u201cI gotta pack my things,\u201d he added in a whisper.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bobby stood up and followed Joe to their horses.\u00a0 He watched his friend mount up, knowing deep inside how badly Joe was hurting and how frightened he was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe?\u201d he called.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d Joe answered in a trembling voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe Devlins\u2026they\u2019re good people you know\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d muttered Joe, \u201cbut\u2026I don\u2019t want to\u2026belong to them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A sob caught in the back of his throat and made his voice squeak.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a Cartwright\u2026I\u2019ll never be a Devlin!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe kicked his horse\u2019s side, spurring Paint into a gallop as horse and rider disappeared around the bend and out of sight.\u00a0 Joe had no intention of letting his friend see the tears that he could no longer keep from rolling down his face.\u00a0 All he could think about was his father going away and leaving him\u2026for good this time.\u00a0 He knew it, in his heart and no amount of reasoning with himself could change the fact that his family no longer wanted him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Wasn\u2019t that what had happened to Bobby?\u00a0 His mother didn\u2019t love him enough to keep him, so she had given him away, claiming that she couldn\u2019t care for him, but Joe knew better\u2026what kind of a mother would give away her child\u2026for that matter, what kind of a father would give away his son?\u00a0 Fear gripped at Joe\u2019s heart; he had tried for days now to right his wrongs, but it seemed the harder he tried, the more trouble he caused.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pulled Paint to a stop and quickly dismounted.\u00a0 He laced the reins over a low hanging branch and moved into the little clearing where the headstone that bore his mother\u2019s name stood out against the bright skyline.\u00a0 Joe knelt down and placed his hand on the carving.\u00a0 A deep sob caught in his throat as he tried to reason aloud, his misery.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMa\u2026I know why you left me\u2026but I don\u2019t understand about Pa.\u00a0 Did ya know he\u2019s gonna do the same, \u2018cepting he ain\u2019t dying\u2026he\u2019s giving me to the Devlins.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe wiped his sleeve across the front of his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe and my brothers claim that they\u2019re going on a business trip\u2026did you know that when Bobby\u2019s ma left him\u2026she claimed she was going on a trip too, but she never came back.\u00a0 What am I going to do?\u00a0 I know Pa ain\u2019t coming back\u2026I just know it\u2026but why?\u00a0 What have I done that was so bad that he wouldn\u2019t love me anymore?\u00a0 I don\u2019t understand about parents\u2026how can they bring a baby into the world and then just\u2026give them away?\u00a0 I thought mothers and fathers were suppose to love their children\u2026I always knew you loved me, and I thought Pa loved me\u2026but I ain\u2019t so sure now\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bobby asked me why his mother didn\u2019t love him\u2026I didn\u2019t know what to say.\u00a0 I thought a lot about it\u2026her giving him away and all\u2026and I felt really sorry for him.\u00a0 But then when Pa told me he was going away too, I started to feel sorry for myself, and I ain\u2019t even a baby, I\u2019m almost grown\u2026fourteen now\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat back on his haunches, propping his elbows on his knees and lowered his head into his hands.\u00a0 For several minutes he remained as such, until he raised his head and sucked in a chest full of air and stood to his feet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI gotta go, Ma\u2026I promised Pa I\u2019d come straight home from school\u2026and I\u2019m already late, see ya,\u201d Joe said, wiping his eyes dry as he made his way to his horse and mounted up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben was waiting in the yard when Joe arrived.\u00a0 One look at his father\u2019s face told the boy all he needed to know that his father was not happy.\u00a0 Joe quickly dismounted and walked the short distance to the front porch where Ben stood, hands on hips and a deep scowl across his brow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere have you been?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa\u2026I\u2026stopped up at the lake\u2026you know, for a visit,\u201d stammered Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s expression softened at the explanation.\u00a0 Years of experience had taught him that when his youngest son was the most upset, or had a problem or just wanted to be alone, the lake and his mother\u2019s grave was where the boy always headed.\u00a0 One look at the long, sad face the youngster wore told the observant father that today had been one of those days.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was getting worried, it is sort of late, son,\u201d Ben said, his voice softening.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben reached out to place a hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder, stunned when Joe moved away from his touch by backing up.\u00a0 Joe raised his head just slightly to peer into his father\u2019s face and Ben was taken back a second time by the acute sadness that he read in the expressive eyes of his youngest son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, what\u2019s wrong, son?\u201d Ben inquired, moving a step nearer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s chin began to quiver and he backed up.\u00a0 \u201cNothing!\u201d he stammered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Puzzled, Ben halted his steps, sensing that if he continued to move closer, the boy would bolt and run from him.\u00a0 The anxious father tried to still his rapidly beating heart and forced his voice not to tremble when he spoke, for he was certain now that something was very much eating away at his son.\u00a0 The boy was on the verge of tears!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSomething must be bothering you\u2026why don\u2019t we go over there and talk about it, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was desperately trying to keep from throwing himself into his father\u2019s arms and begging him not to go away, not to leave\u2026and certainly not to give him to their neighbors.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nothing wrong,\u201d Joe practically shouted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He wanted to go inside, but his father was standing between him and door.\u00a0 Joe, his emotions suddenly boiling over the top and out of control, turned his back to his father and ran for the barn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJOSEPH!\u201d shouted Ben, startled into action.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben broke into a run and made it into the barn, just in time to see Joe disappear into the loft and duck out of sight.\u00a0 Willing himself to remain calm, Ben pulled the door closed and stepped up to the ladder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d he said in a tender voice.\u00a0 \u201cPlease son, I know you\u2019re up there\u2026I want you to come down so that we can talk.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what\u2019s bothering you, but I\u2019m sure we can work it out\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The entire time that he talked, Ben was slowly climbing the ladder.\u00a0 When he reached the top, he eased himself over into the loft and straightened to his full height.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGo away\u2026just leave me alone\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon, I can\u2019t leave you like this\u2026you have to tell me what\u2019s wrong\u2026let me help you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t help me\u2026why would you want too?\u201d cried Joe from behind the stack of hay where he hid from his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand, son\u2026I\u2019ve always tried to help you before with your problems\u2026why would think I wouldn\u2019t want to now?\u201d questioned Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh\u2026don\u2019t play the caring father\u2026I happen to know better,\u201d Joe said in a hateful tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s mouth flew opened; he had never heard his son speak to him like that\u2026and he had no clue as to why the boy would be doing so now.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand, Joe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course you don\u2019t understand me\u2026you never have\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

More befuddled than ever, Ben moved closer to the stack of hay.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, you\u2019re not making any sense at all, son\u2026and for certain I don\u2019t understand you now.\u00a0 I have no clue what you are even talking about, son.\u00a0 Please, come out from behind that haystack and explain yourself to me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026I just want you to go away\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut why, Joe\u2026why?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben could hear the tremors in Joe\u2019s voice and knew that his son was crying.\u00a0 The soft whimpering sounds were breaking his heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d said Ben, \u201cjust give me one good reason why I should go away\u2026and then, I\u2019ll go, if the reason is sufficient.\u00a0 Tell me what I\u2019ve done to\u2026hurt you\u2026you are hurting, aren\u2019t you\u2026and I\u2019m to blame, am I not?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a long break in the conversation and Ben could only wonder what horrors were playing tricks with his son\u2019s thoughts.\u00a0 Ben started to move, but froze when he saw Joe step from behind the tall stack of hay.\u00a0 The boy\u2019s head was bent low, but Ben could still see the tears that dripped from the end of Joe\u2019s chin.\u00a0 Taking a deep breath, Ben willed himself not to approach the distraught boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt trapped.\u00a0 His father stood between him and the ladder and all Joe could think about was getting as far away from his father as possible. Keeping his eye on Ben, Joe moved along the slanted wall until he felt sure that he could slide passed his father without Ben grabbing him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben watched the way in which Joe inched further and further away, knowing that at any second, the boy would make a break for the ladder.\u00a0 If that happened, Joe would run away and Ben knew that he would be left standing there still wondering what on earth was going through his son\u2019s mind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Just at that moment, Joe did exactly as his father had predicted and made a scramble for the ladder.\u00a0 Ben was ready, throwing himself at his son, Ben\u2019s arms tightened about the slender body, causing both himself and his son to topple to the hay-covered floor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLET ME GO!\u201d screamed Joe, struggling against the arms that held him tightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe kicked and bucked, trying to break free, but Ben held on, determined to tame the wild lad.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLET GO OF ME!\u201d cried Joe, very near hysterical.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, calm down, son\u2026please,\u201d pleaded Ben, clinging tightly to the squirming boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNO\u2026NO!\u201d sobbed Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben could sense an end to the struggle as Joe\u2019s body began to relax.\u00a0 Sobbing, the fight was gone from the boy and exhausted, Joe leaned against his father\u2019s chest, weeping softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh\u2026Pa\u2026why\u2026why?\u201d sobbed Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben, his heart racing wildly, pulled Joe into his arms, pressing the mass of thick curls to his breast.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy\u2026what, Joseph\u2026tell me\u2026what is wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Pa\u2026don\u2019t act like you don\u2019t know\u2026I know what you were planning\u2026just tell me why\u2026why don\u2019t you love me any more?\u201d cried Joe, clinging to the arms that encircled his body.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are you giving me to the Devlins?\u201d he continued to babble.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u2026I didn\u2019t mean to let the chickens out\u2026I didn\u2019t do it on purpose\u2026how can you stop loving me so easily\u2026why, why? Pa\u2026tell me why?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Baffled, Ben raised Joe\u2019s trembling chin so that he could look into the tear filled eyes.\u00a0 What he saw in the depths of the hazel coloring broke his heart and caused his own eyes to mist.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGive you away?\u00a0 Stop loving you?\u00a0 Never, Joe\u2026never could I do either.\u00a0 Where on earth did you ever get such an idea as that?\u201d Ben asked.\u00a0 He was astonished by what he was hearing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI heard you,\u201d sobbed Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t mean too, but I heard you and Adam\u2026you said that the Devlins had so many children, one more wouldn\u2019t matter to them, and Adam\u2026he said that the Devlins place would be a good home for me\u2026and Bobby\u2019s mother, came back\u2026after nearly fifteen years\u2026after she gave him away\u2026\u201d Joe rattled on, further confusing his father.\u00a0 \u201cHe asked me why I thought his ma didn\u2019t love him\u2026Pa\u2026\u201d cried Joe, \u201cI didn\u2019t know what to tell him\u2026and then you said I could go live with the Devlins and then\u2026Lacy told Bobby that she was having a baby and that she planned on keeping it\u2026and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLacy?\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBobby\u2019s mother\u2026his real mother\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, please, slow down, son\u2026I\u2019m so confused by all of this.\u00a0 Let\u2019s start from the beginning\u2026but first, I want to say something\u2026and I want you to listen to me, alright?\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He studied the boy\u2019s face, using his own thumbs to wipe away the lingering tears from Joe\u2019s cheeks.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow\u2026I\u2019ve no idea where on earth you got the idea that I no longer love you.\u00a0 That is about as far from the truth as it can get.\u00a0 Joseph, you are everything to me\u2026and to your brothers.\u00a0 I cannot even begin to imagine my life without you\u2026I wouldn\u2019t want too.\u00a0 I love you, son, more than my own life, more than this ranch and certainly more than any earthly object that I possess\u2026and far more than any monies I might have accumulated during the course of my life.\u00a0 You, young man\u2026are my life, you, Adam and Hoss\u2026without the three of you I am nothing.\u00a0 I cease to exist, I cease to breathe, feel, love\u2026do you understand the depth of my love for you?\u00a0 Do you understand, Joe, that I could not, nor would I ever \u2018give\u2019 you away?\u00a0 Why would you even think that I would?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe, his chin quivering, looked into his father\u2019s eyes, suddenly seeing the love that sparked from deep within.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026dunno,\u201d he stammered.\u00a0 \u201cI thought that\u2026I mean\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe swallowed hard and lowered his head, suddenly ashamed of himself for allowing his fears to dictate his heart.\u00a0 When he looked up again at his father, Joe could plainly see that he had been horribly mistaken; his father still loved him.\u00a0 It was there, the love he thought he\u2019d lost, in the chocolate hue of his father\u2019s eyes<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The tiny tears billowed into his own eyes and he turned his face into his father\u2019s vest and wept.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa\u2026I\u2019m such a fool\u2026I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Joe\u2026you didn\u2019t do anything, son\u2026to be sorry about.\u00a0 For some reason, you just got it into your head that I\u2019d stopped loving you\u2026and that I was going to send you away\u2026but why, Joe\u2026what made you think that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno, I guess because of Bobby\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBobby\u2026that\u2019s Bobby Griffin, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYessir\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTell me\u2026from the beginning, please\u2026how does your friend fit into all of this?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben pulled Joe upright and made his son look at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBobby is adopted,\u201d began Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I remember when he first came to Paul and Sally Griffin.\u00a0 He was just a couple of months old and they were so happy to finally have a child they could call their own,\u201d Ben recalled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t know you knew,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I remember the day well.\u00a0 The Griffins brought him over for us to see.\u00a0 He\u2019s just a few days younger than you are, son,\u201d Ben smiled.\u00a0 \u201cSally and your mother went on for hours talking about their new sons\u2026\u201d Ben\u2019s eyes took on a faraway look, but he continued to smile.\u00a0 \u201cTo be honest, so did Paul and I,\u201d laughed Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut go on, Joe\u2026tell me the rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Bobby knew he was adopted, he said his parents\u2026the Griffins\u2026had always told him so, they didn\u2019t try to hide it.\u00a0 But Bobby started wondering about his real mother, Lacy.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t understand how a mother could have a baby, and just up and give it away.\u00a0 He\u2019s hurt\u2026he feels as if he wasn\u2019t good enough for his ma to want to keep\u2026especially now, now since she came back to see him\u2026and told him she was having another baby.\u00a0 He\u2019s gonna be a big brother\u2026and he feels\u2026cheated and hurt by it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pa, he doesn\u2019t understand why his mother didn\u2019t love him enough to keep him.\u00a0 And he says that with her living far away, he\u2019ll never get to see his little brother or sister\u2026whichever it might be.\u00a0 And that bothers him.\u00a0 He loves his folks\u2026but regardless of what she\u2019s done, Lacy is still his mother, and he loves her in spite of everything\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure he would, son.\u00a0 Lacy was a very young, frightened girl when she had Bobby.\u00a0 She wasn\u2019t much older than you are now, son\u2026and it was true\u2026she couldn\u2019t take care of her baby.\u00a0 She had no husband, no parents, no one to help her, so she did the next best thing.\u00a0 She gave her son to the Griffins.\u00a0 Lacy knew that they would love her baby and take very good care of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was a very hard, but brave thing for a young mother to do\u2026giving up her son.\u00a0 Bobby should never feel as though his birth mother did not love him, on the contrary, she loved him very much.\u00a0 See, son, it was because Lacy loved her baby, that she willingly placed him in a safe, loving home, where he could have all the things that she was never able to have herself, and was unable to give to him.\u00a0 She made the ultimate sacrifice\u2026because she loved him.\u00a0 For a person, whether it man or woman, to make that kind of sacrifice, takes great courage and strength and a heart overflowing with love.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was quiet for a moment and then looked up at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t look at it like that\u2026neither has Bobby.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know what to say, when he asked me what I thought.\u00a0 I suppose I thought what he thinks, that she just didn\u2019t care\u2026that she didn\u2019t love him,\u201d Joe surmised.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut you see it differently now?\u201d Ben asked as he studied his son\u2019s expression.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave his father a weak smile.\u00a0 \u201cYeah\u2026and I feel sorta silly, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFor thinking that you were about to\u2026Pa\u2026why were you sending me to the Devlins?\u201d Joe asked, suddenly realizing that he had no real clue, other than what he thought he had overheard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, why do I always send you to the Devlins?\u00a0 Because I was going out of town on business\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes brightened.\u00a0 \u201cWas?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben pulled Joe back into an embrace and held his son close to his heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWas\u2026I\u2019ve changed my mind\u2026I think I\u2019ll let one of your brothers handle it, I think I\u2019d rather stay at home\u2026with you,\u201d laughed Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His arms tightened around the boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI love you, Joe\u2026please don\u2019t ever think I could stop, because I couldn\u2019t, even if I wanted too.\u00a0 And I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nestled against his father\u2019s broad chest, feeling relieved at long last.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI love you, too, Pa\u2026and I\u2019m\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t say it, Little Joe\u2026you had a right to feel afraid.\u00a0 You just had the wrong reasons for feeling as such.\u00a0 But do you understand now, about Lacy and Bobby?\u201d Ben asked, glancing down at Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYessir\u2026and the next time Bobby asks me, I\u2019ll know what to tell him,\u201d smiled Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what will that be?\u201d inquired Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat his mother loved him, more than anything else in the world\u2026and I\u2019ll tell him something else, too, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked puzzled for a moment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what might that be?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna tell him, that it\u2019s okay for him to love her back\u2026and that he shouldn\u2019t hold it against her for making sure he had a happy life.\u00a0 And I\u2019m gonna make sure that he understands that a mother\u2019s love is something that neither time nor distance can destroy, it lasts a lifetime\u2026and beyond, like my ma\u2019s love.\u00a0 Sometimes, Pa\u2026when I\u2019m up at the lake and it\u2019s just her and me\u2026I can feel her love, its like her arms wrapped all about me, keeping me warm and safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe raised his head and smiled at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBobby\u2019s lucky, you know that, Pa\u2026luckier than most, even me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow so, son?\u201d Ben asked, his voice thick with emotion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe has two mothers that love him, in different ways, but for all the right reasons,\u201d Joe whispered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s throat grew thick and he was unable to speak for several minutes.\u00a0 He and Joe sat amid the hay, unconcerned of the world around them.\u00a0 The boy leaned against his father, secure in his father\u2019s arms, basking in the memory of a mother\u2019s love.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI wish this day would never end, Pa,\u201d Joe whispered, snuggling, if possible, deeper into his father\u2019s embrace.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMe either, son\u2026me either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

THE END<\/p>\n

November 2004<\/p>\n

For my beloved adopted son, Shawn, who has two mamas, who love him!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 In real life, it’s a question many adopted children ask in regard to their birth mothers, mine did…and I told him the truth…she loved him very much, that’s why she made the ultimate sacrifice…to ensure that he would always be protected and well cared for.\u00a0 For Joe Cartwright’s friend, it was no different.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Rated G\u00a0 WC 10,000<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9052,"featured_media":1229,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,30],"tags":[14,15,17,16],"class_list":["post-12193","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-prequels","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-ben","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-30-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1331,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza7.jpg?fit=720%2C477&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5440,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5440","url_meta":{"origin":12193,"position":0},"title":"A Rose For Marie (by deansgirl)","author":"deansgirl","date":"May 1, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Adam finally learns to accept Marie as his mother.\u00a0 A special Mother's Day story, the companion story to Forever Ben Cartwright Rated:\u00a0K+ (2,850 words) Ben and Marie Series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Marie.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Marie.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Marie.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7631,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7631","url_meta":{"origin":12193,"position":1},"title":"Tarnished Armor (by DJK)","author":"DJK","date":"May 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Hoss's deceit tarnishes his armor in Emily's eyes. 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