{"id":12201,"date":"2003-07-01T22:19:44","date_gmt":"2003-07-02T02:19:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12201"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:07:51","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:07:51","slug":"until-he-turns-eighteen-by-debbieb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12201","title":{"rendered":"Until He Turns Eighteen (by DebbieB)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/b>\u00a0 When a day of fun turns into tragedy and Little Joe is held to blame, Joe must now learn to live with the death of his new friend. Help comes from the one person least suspected of caring about Joe’s feelings. \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Rated PG \u00a0WC 14,600<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Until He Turns Eighteen<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The laughter around the small wooden table<\/strong> on the side porch where Ben sat with his three sons was light and pleasant.\u00a0 Anytime that Ben could catch his three handsome boys in such a merry mood; it was like music to his ears.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He watched the shining light in Hoss\u2019 blue eyes and snickered when the heavyset boy scrunched up his face in a frown.\u00a0 When he glanced at Adam, his dark hazel eyes were alight with the same glow, amused at the gentle banter going on between his two younger brothers.\u00a0 Joe, on the other hand, had eyes that glimmered with impending mischief and as Ben watched, Joe\u2019s emerald eyes seemed to dart from one brother to the next.\u00a0 Ben was always amazed, each and every time that he looked at his younger son, he saw again, the image of his third wife, Marie, Joe\u2019s mother and his heart seemed to lurch into high gear at the memories that surfaced.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s how it went,\u201d Joe was laughing, \u201cyou should have seen ole man Watkins run!\u00a0 That ole bull of his was right on his tail and he was snorting like that ole steam engine over in Carson City,\u201d Joe giggled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI thought old man Watkins said that Edgar was as gentle as a lamb?\u201d Adam inquired.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Edgar was Mr. Watkins old bull that Joe had been telling his brothers about.\u00a0 Mr. Watkins had named the bull after his father-in-law, which had not made Mrs. Watkins happy, to say the least.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what he said, until he pulled that red bandanna out of his pocket.\u00a0 That\u2019s when Edgar began acting kind of funny.\u00a0 Mr. Watkins didn\u2019t pay the bull any mind, until it was too late, by then Edgar was charging him and Mr. Watkins had to run for his life.\u201d\u00a0 Joe laughed louder.\u00a0 \u201cThere wasn\u2019t a thing I could do to help him, except yell at him to run faster.\u00a0 You know, brothers, that old goat can run pretty dang fast to be so old, why he\u2019s nearly as old as Pa here and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me?\u201d Ben refrained from smiling, though with the look on his youngest son\u2019s face, it was next to impossible.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026I\u2026I\u2026didn\u2019t mean to imply that your were old, Pa,\u201d stammered Joe as he got to his feet and began to fidget nervously with the button on his jacket.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I should hope not, young man,\u201d Ben said, glancing back and forth between Adam and Hoss and noting how they were struggling to keep from laughing as well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026I\u2026I\u2026better get to my chores,\u201d Joe said as he slid around the far end of the table.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be a good idea,\u201d Ben finally laughed at last.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss began snickering as well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what they say, Pa,\u201d laughed Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben spun around masking his expression of amusement, \u201cNo, son, what do they say?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Adam, what do they say\u2026by the way\u2026who are they?\u201d asked Hoss, gently scratching his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gulped; this conversation had somehow taken on a strange twist.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Ben said in a low voice, \u201cwhat do they say?\u201d\u00a0 Ben was finding himself hard pressed not to laugh out loud.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOut of the mouths of babes, cometh the truth?\u201d Adam quoted softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben burst out with his deep laughter, surprising his oldest son.\u00a0 \u201cAre you saying that you agree with your youngest brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam quickly jumped to his feet.\u00a0 \u201cNosir,\u201d he said almost too quickly.\u00a0 \u201cI have chores to do, you coming Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHeh?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss glanced at Adam who was nodding his head toward the barn.\u00a0 \u201cOh\u2026hmm\u2026yeah, I\u2019m comin\u2019, Adam.\u00a0 See ya Pa!\u201d he called as he quickly followed Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben snickered and sat back down at the table and picked up his ledger.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Pa!\u201d Joe called from across the yard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He had saddled his horse and was sitting abreast Cochise as he shouted at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked up and smiled, secretly admiring the handsome boy.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it son?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve finished with my chores, you said it was alright to go down to the swimming hole, remember?\u201d Joe called.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I remember, but you remember, young man,\u201d Ben said as he stood to his feet and pointed his finger at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cYou be careful and be home by supper\u2026or else!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave his father one of his winning smiles and tipped his hat.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll remember!\u201d he laughingly shouted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before Ben could seat himself, Joe had spurred his mount into action.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJOSEPH!\u201d Ben shouted, trying to gain the boy\u2019s attention. Ben pinched his lips tightly and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cThat boy charges out of here as fast as Watkins\u2019 bull charges after him,\u201d Ben gently grumbled to himself and then casting one last glance at his departing son, sat back down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, Mr. Jenkins, Mitch and I\u2019ll watch out for Rocky, he\u2019ll be fine, I promise,\u201d smiled Joe.\u00a0 \u201cThe water ain\u2019t all that deep any ways,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIsn\u2019t,\u201d corrected Mrs. Jenkins.\u00a0 The young mother had just come from the kitchen and had heard Joe\u2019s last statement.\u00a0 She smiled up at the boy.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joseph, but being a teacher, I just can\u2019t help myself,\u201d she laughed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gave her one of his most charming smiles.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s alright ma\u2019am, I\u2019m used to it, my oldest brother, Adam, he and my Pa are correcting me all of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rocky burst through the door and stopped when his father grabbed him by the arm.\u00a0 \u201cYou remember, young man, you\u2019ve just learned to swim, so I want you to be extra careful, you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rocky glanced up at Joe and rolled his eyes, causing Joe to giggle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYessir, I will,\u201d Rocky promised, \u201cyou needn\u2019t worry, Pa, I\u2019m fifteen years old now and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care if you are fifty years old, you are my only son and I want you to be careful!\u201d growled Mr. Jenkins in a light tone, which told all the boys that he really wasn\u2019t mad, just worried.\u00a0 When he reached over and placed his hand on Joe\u2019s knee, it took the youngest Cartwright by surprise.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m putting you in charge, Little Joe, you look out after my boy.\u00a0 He ain\u2019t\u2026ere\u2026isn\u2019t a very good swimmer,\u201d Mr. Jenkins informed Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, don\u2019t worry, sir, I\u2019ll make sure he gets home safely,\u201d stammered Joe, not really sure what he was supposed to say to his new friend\u2019s father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood, I\u2019ll hold you responsible!\u201d\u00a0 Mr. Jenkins turned back to his son, \u201cwell, get going,\u201d he smiled, \u201cand have fun\u2026just be careful!\u201d he called as he watched his son mount up and ride off with his new friends.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The three boys rode along in silence for several minutes before Rocky said anything.\u00a0 He glanced over at Joe who rode to his right side.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry about my ma and pa, Joe, but they worry about me all the time and still tend to treat me as if I were a little boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe grinned, \u201cI know how you feel, I have two older brothers and they, and my pa, still treat me the same way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, me too,\u201d Mitch added, \u201cI have an older brother and a sister, talk about getting nagged at!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All three boys laughed.\u00a0 \u201cHere we are,\u201d Joe said pointing off in the distance.\u00a0 \u201cLook Seth and Carl are already here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHi ya, Joe!\u201d shouted Seth as he swung by the long rope that was attached to a tree limb that hung far out over the top of the water.\u00a0 \u201cWatch this! Whee\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seth made the rope swing out until he was out over the water and then turned loose, dropping down into the water and disappearing under the surface.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey, that looks like fun!\u201d Rocky said as he jumped from his horse and ran to the water\u2019s edge.\u00a0 \u201cAin\u2019t\u2026.isn\u2019t he coming back up?\u201d he asked worriedly and then glanced at Joe for an answer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure, but ya gotta give him a minute, it\u2019s pretty deep right there in the middle\u2026there he is,\u201d laughed Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He had begun to shuck his trousers and then his boots.\u00a0 When he had his shirt off and was down to his long johns, he grabbed the knotted rope and ran backwards from the water and then forward until his feet left the ground.\u00a0 He swung back over the bank, kicked the ground with his feet to give himself more of a boost and then curling his legs upward, waited until he was out over the water and then released the rope.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGERONIMO!!\u201d he shouted loudly and then splashed into the deep dark water.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWOW!\u201d screamed Rocky.\u00a0 \u201cI wanna try that!\u201d he said and stripping down to his long underwear made a run for the rope. \u00a0He grabbed on to it, just as Joe\u2019s head popped above the surface.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBurr\u2026why didn\u2019t ya tell me that the water was so cold!\u201d Joe giggled and shouted at Seth as he began swimming to the bank.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGo ahead, Rocky, try it\u2026just make sure you swing way out until you\u2019re over the middle!\u201d warned Joe as he waded in the shallow water along the edge of the bank.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, here goes!\u201d\u00a0 Rocky repeated the same action that he had seen Joe doing and soon was swinging precariously out over the water\u2019s edge.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHigher\u2026ya gotta swing higher,\u201d shouted Joe as he, Seth and Mitch were laughing at Rocky\u2019s first attempt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNOW!\u201d called Carl.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rocky let go of the rope and as he did so, twisted his body around.\u00a0 By the time he hit the water, he was belly down and made a loud plop into the water.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOuch,\u201d giggled Joe.\u00a0 \u201cThat had to hurt,\u201d he said, smiling at his companions.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Moments later a rather beaten Rocky broke through the surface of the water and began swimming toward the shore.\u00a0 When he reached the water\u2019s edge, where it was too shallow to swim, he stood to his feet, smiling up at his friends.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat was fun!\u201d he laughed, brushing his wet hair out of his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLook at your belly\u2026it\u2019s all red,\u201d laughed Mitch, pointing toward Rocky.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boy glanced down at his middle and then rubbed gently at his stomach.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, and it burns a little,\u201d he commented.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s called a belly buster,\u201d laughed Seth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNext time try going in feet first!\u201d giggled Joe.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, let\u2019s do it again,\u201d Little Joe called as he ran to the rope.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey, let\u2019s do it together,\u201d Mitch said and laced his fingers around the knot that was one higher on the rope than where Joe had twisted his fingers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, get ready!\u201d shouted Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He and Mitch ran back and then forward and then swung back to the bank for the second time, each pushing with their bare feet until they were far enough over the water that they let go of the rope.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhoopee!\u201d shouted Mitch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYahoo!\u201d yelled Joe as both boys plunged into the water.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seth, Carl and Rocky stood at the water\u2019s edge, laughing at their two friends.\u00a0 Minutes later Joe and then Mitch\u2019s head both resurfaced, both boys were giggling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey look,\u201d called Joe, pointing from the water.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s the girls!\u201d snickered Mitch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The three boys on the bank turned to face the four girls that were starting to dismount.\u00a0 The girls, Cindy Hamilton, who was the banker\u2019s daughter, Sarah Thornton, the daughter of the local minister, Sally Mitchell the daughter of Elizabeth Mitchell who owned a dress shop in Virginia City and Lucy Foster who was the niece of Clem Foster, the town\u2019s deputy, quickly dismounted their horses and hurried to join the boys.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho are they?\u201d Rocky whispered to Joe who had joined the others.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe smiled at the girls and then glanced at his new friend, \u201cthey\u2019re classmates\u2026we all go to school together,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHi ya, Little Joe,\u201d Cindy said as she smiled coyly at Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt his face begin to redden.\u00a0 At nearly sixteen, he still felt awkward around the girls, especially Cindy, for he had a secret crush on the beautiful girl.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before Joe could acknowledge Cindy\u2019s greeting, the other girls all started talking at once.\u00a0 Mitch introduced Rocky to the girls and informed them that he would be starting to school with them when school resumed in the next few weeks.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boys went back to their rope swing, each taking a turn at trying to impress the girls.\u00a0 Joe was no different than his friends and his antics kept everyone laughing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe brought some sandwiches, you fellas want something to eat?\u00a0 I bet you\u2019re all hungry!\u201d Lucy said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She and Sarah quickly pulled the sacks from around their saddle horns and hurried to spread the inviting lunch out for the boys.\u00a0 Seth and Carl were the first to sit down and grab sandwiches.\u00a0 Joe wiggled his way between Seth and Carl and plopped down next to Cindy.\u00a0 When the girl handed him a sandwich and smiled, Joe blushed again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mitch had made himself comfortable sitting next to Elizabeth and Lucy and Sarah sat opposite Seth and Carl.\u00a0 The group was deep into conversation, when Carl noticed that the new boy had not joined them for sandwiches.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Joe, where\u2019s your buddy?\u201d Carl asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had just stuffed his mouth with a large bite of the chocolate cake that Cindy had baked and brought along to tempt him with.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe last time I saw him was a couple of minutes ago, I think he took another swing on the rope,\u201d Seth said as he glanced over his shoulder at the water.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The water was smooth, like glass and there were no signs of ripples that would have indicated that Rocky had taken a last dive into the swimming hole.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow long ago was that?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He turned his head and gazed out at the water and then searched the edge of the woods with his eyes, hoping that perhaps Rocky had had to take a little walk into the thick growth to relieve himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cA couple of minutes ago,\u201d answered Seth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seth had seen the worried look that had suddenly come into his friend\u2019s eyes and automatically his own eyes followed the same route that Joe\u2019s had.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stood to his feet and cupped his hands around his mouth.\u00a0 \u201cROCKY!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By now all the boys were standing and casting anxious glances all around them.\u00a0 \u201cReckon he went for a walk?\u201d suggested one of the girls.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he doesn\u2019t know these woods like we do, he wouldn\u2019t chance it,\u201d Joe was quick to answer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d Mitch moved quietly to his best friend\u2019s side.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah Mitch?\u201d\u00a0 The soft tone of Mitch\u2019s voice had quickly drawn Joe\u2019s attention to his companion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYa don\u2019t reckon he\u2019s still in the water do ya?\u201d\u00a0 Mitch\u2019s eyes had darkened and grown large with the fear that such a thought evoked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cStill in the water?\u201d mumbled Joe, his own eyes widening.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe moved down to the edge of the water, staring into the murkiness, wondering if Rocky had somehow taken a dive and not surfaced.\u00a0 The fear caused his body to begin trembling and he felt very near the edge of panic.\u00a0 He swallowed and turned frightened eyes at his friends, who by now had circled around him and looked at him as if he could provide the answer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe took a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s only one way to find out\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d Cindy asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With that, Joe stripped off his pants that he had donned earlier, when the girls arrived.\u00a0 As he walked down the bank and stood ankle deep in the water, he looked one more time into the faces of all seven of his friends.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taking a deep breath to fill his lungs, Joe dove smoothly into the water and disappeared beneath the surface.\u00a0 Under the water and deep near the bottom, it was cloudy, making seeing anything next to impossible.\u00a0Joe swam around, fighting to keep his eyes opened as he searched the water for his friend.\u00a0 He felt his lungs begin to burn and knew that soon, he would have to resurface and come up for more air.\u00a0 Joe twisted his head about in all directions, even looking up to judge just how far out into the middle of the water he might be and to distance himself as to where they had been landing when they released the swing rope.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Feeling as if he were about to burst, Joe swam for the surface.\u00a0 The instant his face broke water, he opened his mouth to refill his lungs and dove for the second time down into the water.\u00a0 For several moments, he swam about, always searching the depths with his anxious eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe allowed tiny bubbles to pass his lips; his cheeks were puffed out and were beginning to ache.\u00a0 He pushed himself downward for one last look, intending to surface, fill his lungs and then make a third dive.\u00a0 He turned one last time, amid the underwater grasses that grew in thick dark patches.\u00a0 The grasses where long and swayed gently with the soft flowing current and seemed to be waving at him as he swam by.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly the grasses appeared to part, and what Joe saw, sent horror\u2019s piercing arrow straight through his young heart.\u00a0 His lips parted and the heart-wrenching scream that sputtered from his mouth sent hundreds of tiny air bubbles floating to the surface. Joe was forced to clamp his lips tightly so that water would not fill his mouth and though his heart was beating rapidly with fear, he began trying to jerk and pull the long tightly woven grasses from around Rocky\u2019s body.\u00a0 He was near panic as he worked.\u00a0 Tears filled his eyes as he struggled against the greenery that had somehow twisted themselves around their prisoner and refused to relinquish their hold.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe glanced up, into his friend\u2019s face.\u00a0 Rocky\u2019s eyes were opened, and he appeared to be staring at nothing, his thick blond hair floated high above his head, next to his arms that rose above his shoulders.\u00a0 Joe closed his eyes to the horrific scene and having no other recourse but to swim to the top and refill his lungs, pushed himself upward.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOH GOD!\u201d he screamed to his friends, who had been sitting on the bank, waiting for his return.\u00a0 \u201cGO FOR HELP\u2026HE\u2019S TANGLED IN THE GRASSES!\u201d Joe screamed; his voice was high pitched with terror.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe made another dive while the young people on the bank snapped into action.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSeth, go for Mr. Cartwright, he\u2019s the closest, Carl you go fetch Rocky\u2019s father, and girls\u2026a couple of you better ride into town and tell the sheriff what\u2019s happened, and bring the doc back with you!\u201d ordered Mitch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Everyone scattered, anxious to help and fearful for not only their old friend, Joe Cartwright, but their new friend as well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCindy, you stay with me, Joe might need some help when he comes up again,\u201d instructed Mitch as he and Cindy began to make preparations for when Joe brought Rocky up.\u00a0 Neither knew what to expect, and being young, neither Mitch nor Cindy were prepared for what was about to happen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Far below the surface, Joe fought a losing battle with the thick growth of grasses.\u00a0 He could feel his own tears as they streamed down his face.\u00a0 His stomach churned and he was hard pressed to keep his lunch down.\u00a0Try as he might, he could not keep from looking up, into the face of his friend, and each time that his eyes met those of the other boy\u2019s, Joe felt as if a part of him died along with his friend.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe popped to the surface, never giving a thought to his two friends who waited anxiously or to the fact this his lungs burned as if a smoldering fire had been started deep down inside.\u00a0 The only thing that Joe had his mind fixed on, was freeing Rocky from his underwater prison. Time after time Joe rose to the surface and then dove under.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMR. CARTWRIGHT!\u00a0 MR. CARTWRIGHT!\u201d Shouted Seth as he yanked back on his mount\u2019s reins and pulled the horse to a sudden stop.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben, who had been sitting at his desk, jumped up at the sound of his name and ran from the house, followed by Adam and Hoss.\u00a0 He watched as Seth\u2019s horse danced in circles and once had to move to avoid being stepped on.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSeth\u2026what\u2019s wrong?\u201d demanded Ben, suddenly fearful, for Joe had yet to return from the swimming hole and he knew that Seth was one of Joe\u2019s friends whom he had planned on meeting there and spending the afternoon with.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou better come quick, there\u2019s been an accident, hurry!\u201d the frightened boy urged.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, get our horses.\u00a0 Seth, what happened\u2026is it Joe?\u201d\u00a0 Ben grabbed the halter on Seth\u2019s horse and stopped the horse\u2019s nervous prancing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Rocky, he dove into the water and didn\u2019t surface\u2026Joe went in after him and now we can\u2019t find him!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The fear stabbed at Ben\u2019s heart and he felt his stomach do a violent flip as he swallowed the hot tasting bile that had filled his mouth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDear God,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Minutes later the three Cartwrights were mounted up and racing to the swimming hole.\u00a0 When they arrived, they found Mitch and Cindy standing together along the bank, staring into the water.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben slid from his horse almost before Buck had stopped and raced up to Mitch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Joe?\u201d he practically shouted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Mitch turned to face his friend\u2019s father, Ben could see the swell of tears that had collected in Mitch\u2019s blue eyes.\u00a0 As he turned toward Cindy, Ben could easily tell that the girl had also been crying.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMITCH!\u201d Ben grabbed the boy\u2019s shoulder, giving him a firm shake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mitch pointed toward the water.\u00a0 \u201cIn there, he won\u2019t come out\u2026he\u2019s dove in\u2026at least a dozen times.\u201d\u00a0 Mitch\u2019s voice cracked and the tears slowly freed themselves and rolled gently down the boy\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get him, Pa,\u201d Adam said without hesitation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He had already stripped off his shirt and had tossed his hat on the ground.\u00a0 Quickly he leaned down and yanked his tight fitting boots off his feet.\u00a0 Without a word, he dove smoothly into the water, barely breaking the surface or making a splash. Tiny air bubbles began to dance around in the center of the ringlets that circled the spot where Adam had gracefully entered the water.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam used his long muscular legs and paddled hard toward the bottom in search of his brother.\u00a0 It took only seconds to locate Joe, and when he swam in behind the boy and placed his hand on his brother\u2019s arm to alert the boy of his presence, Joe turned, stunned to see his brother behind him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s heart melted, for the look on his little brother\u2019s face told him just how deeply the boy was suffering.\u00a0 Adam glanced over the top of Joe\u2019s head and saw the lifeless body of his brother\u2019s friend, swaying with the flow of the undercurrent.\u00a0 The boy\u2019s eyes had remained opened, though the spark of life had been extinguished early on.\u00a0 Adam could only assume that because of the tangle of undergrowth that held the boy captive, the boy had drowned almost instantly and without the knowledge of the others, until it was too late.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam grabbed Joe\u2019s shoulders and forced his brother to face him.\u00a0 Adam pointed his finger up, indicating the surface, and gently urged Joe to swim to the surface.\u00a0 Joe shook his head and pointed in Rocky\u2019s direction.\u00a0 When Adam released one hand, Joe tried to make his way back to Rocky.\u00a0 Adam grabbed again at Joe, catching his arm and pointed toward the top of the water.\u00a0 When Joe refused, Adam tightened his grip and began swimming toward the top, forcing Joe to swim with him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Within moments, both brothers surfaced above the water.\u00a0 Adam still had Joe in tow and when they reached the shallow end, he quickly motioned for his father and Hoss to help him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNO! NO!\u201d screamed Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI\u201dVE GOT TO HELP HIM!\u201d he bellowed as he tried to wrench his arm free of the hands that were now holding him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave his father a stern look and shook his head before filling his lungs and diving again, into the water.\u00a0 Joe began to squirm within his father\u2019s arms, his crying and pleading bringing his father\u2019s attention back to his distraught son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShh\u2026Joseph, you\u2019re exhausted, let Adam help Rocky\u2026please son,\u201d Ben said in a soothing voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was exhausted and he fell against his father\u2019s body.\u00a0 Ben wrapped his arms tightly about Joe\u2019s shoulders, which had begun to tremble.\u00a0 Joe began to sob as he clung to his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s dead\u2026he\u2019s dead and it\u2019s my fault!\u201d sobbed Joe, very near the edge of hysteria.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no, Joseph, it wasn\u2019t your fault, it was an accident,\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He cast his eyes up at Mitch and Cindy who had gathered around.\u00a0 Mitch nodded his head, telling Ben what he needed to know; Rocky\u2019s drowning was an accident.\u00a0 Hoss appeared with a blanket from his bedroll and gently wrapped it around his shivering brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was\u2026Pa\u2026Oh God\u2026Mr. Jenkins\u2026he told me I would be\u2026responsible\u2026for Rocky.\u201d\u00a0 Joe pulled back from his father\u2019s embrace and turned tear filled, red rimmed eyes up to look into his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s breathing was coming in short, quick jabs, making his speech broken and choppy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy\u2026fault,\u201d he sobbed.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2026I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben felt his son\u2019s body go slack in his arms.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s passed out,\u201d muttered Ben, lowering Joe onto the ground.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright,\u201d Mitch said in a low voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben glanced up, seeing the horror in the blue eyes.\u00a0 He glanced at Cindy when he heard her scream and then pointed her finger behind him.\u00a0 Ben turned; Adam was emerging from the water, Rocky held in both arms.\u00a0 The young boy\u2019s body was dripping with water and his arms were dangling at his sides.\u00a0 Ben needn\u2019t ask, he knew\u2026Joe\u2019s new friend was dead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d whispered Hoss who had squatted down in front of his father and younger brother.\u00a0 \u201cLookit, here comes the boy\u2019s father,\u201d he pointed over Ben\u2019s shoulder at the group of riders that had just arrived.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned toward the group.\u00a0 Mr. Jenkins had indeed arrived, along with Roy Coffee, Clem, and the doctor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cStay with your brother, Hoss,\u201d Ben ordered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben rose to his feet and went straight to Walter Jenkins who all but shoved him aside as he ran toward Adam who was carefully lowering the dead boy to the ground.\u00a0 Walter pushed Adam aside as he dropped to his knees.\u00a0 His heart-wrenching sobs ripped at the hearts of the small gathering of friends and neighbors.\u00a0 Doctor Martin quickly rushed to the grieving man\u2019s side so that he could examine the man\u2019s son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Clem and Roy dismounted and stood next to Ben.\u00a0 Joe had awakened and Hoss had hauled his brother to his feet and stood with Joe\u2019s body leaning against his own.\u00a0 Suddenly, and unexpectedly, Walter Jenkins rose to his feet and twirled around until he faced the youngest Cartwright.\u00a0 His features began to distort with the hate he felt at Ben\u2019s youngest son and took on a grotesque facial cast as he approached Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYOU!\u201d he screeched while waving his fist in the frightened boy\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cYOU ARE TO BLAME FOR THIS\u2026YOU LET MY SON DIE!\u201d he ranted, causing Joe to cower and shield his face against his big brother\u2019s mid-section.\u00a0 \u201cYOUR FAULT\u2026YOU\u2026YOU\u2026KILLED MY SON!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Walter Jenkins made a mad grab at Joe and nearly had him yanked from his brother\u2019s protective arms, it seemed as if everyone within reach made a grab at Jenkins.\u00a0 Adam was closest and was quickly able to pry the raving man\u2019s hands free of Joe\u2019s shoulders.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam spun the man around, slinging him into Ben\u2019s arms who quickly held Walter by the shoulders until Roy and Clem were able to subdue the weeping father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cStand still, Jenkins,\u201d ordered Roy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben and Adam stood with their bodies between Joe and Hoss and the man who had, in his grief blamed Joe for his son\u2019s death.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGet him out of here, Roy,\u201d growled Ben.\u00a0 Behind him he could hear Joe\u2019s sobs and knew that his son had taken to heart, the harsh words spoken in anger by a despondent father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph\u2026\u201d began Ben as he reached out for his child.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe spun around; the tears dripped slowly down his ashen face, his chin quivered and his entire body had begun to tremble.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026told\u2026you\u2026it\u2026\u201d Joe gulped and swallowed deeply, \u201cwas my\u2026fault\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boy bolted free and began running for the woods in a vain effort to distance himself from the people who had gathered around him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get him, Pa,\u201d Adam called as he jerked on his last boot and began running after his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss watched as his own eyes filled with tears and he quickly dabbed at the moisture.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll help\u2019em,\u201d he said and followed Adam into the woods.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sheriff had helped Walter Jenkins tie his son across the boy\u2019s saddle and with Clem going along, the three took the boy\u2019s body into town.\u00a0 Paul Martin had remained behind with Ben, who waited with growing fear for his oldest sons to bring their brother back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen, I\u2019m going back to ride out to the Jenkins\u2019 place.\u00a0 Mrs. Jenkins might need some tending too, and then I\u2019ll come over and see about Little Joe.\u00a0 He\u2019ll probably need something to help him rest, he\u2019s very upset about this entire mess,\u201d Paul explained to Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s was only half listening to what the physician was saying.\u00a0 He had moved to the edge of the woods and stood silently.\u00a0 Paul clamped his hand firmly on Ben\u2019s shoulder, causing Ben to finally turn and acknowledge the doctor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen, I said I\u2019d be by the house shortly, I need to see about Mrs\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI heard what you said, go ahead Paul, we\u2019ll take care of Little Joe,\u201d Ben informed the doctor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe crashed through the tangle of trees and low hanging branches.\u00a0 He had fallen twice and his upper body, which bore no shirt, had been scratched and tiny places where the flesh had been broken had begun to seep miniature droplets of bright red blood.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJOSEPH!\u00a0 STOP, PLEASE!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe glanced back across one shoulder as the sound of his brother\u2019s voice reached his ears.\u00a0 His eyes blinded by his tears and his body still weakened from being in the water for such a long period of time caused him to stagger and he whirled around.\u00a0 His bare foot became tangled in the undergrowth and he stumbled and fell for the third time.\u00a0 Before he could free himself, Adam was by his side, kneeling down next to him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d cooed Adam, reaching out with his hands to gather his brother into his arms.\u00a0 Joe tried jerking away from the loving touch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNO! NO\u2026Please\u2026just\u2026let me\u2026go,\u201d sobbed Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam, with Hoss now next to him, wrapped his arms about his sobbing brother and pulled the boy into his arms. The fight instantly left the younger boy as Joe clasped tightly to Adam\u2019s vest and poured out his heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy\u2026fault\u2026mine\u2026\u201d he cried.\u00a0 \u201cOh\u2026Adam\u2026please\u2026what have\u2026I\u2026done?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam glanced up at Hoss and saw the swell of tears in his blue eyes.\u00a0 It was all Adam could do to control his own emotions and he quickly swiped his own eyes with the back of one hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing Joe, nothing.\u00a0 You aren\u2019t to blame little buddy\u2026honest\u2026it was an accident.\u00a0 Your friend got tangled up in the grasses.\u00a0 Joe\u2026there was nothing anyone could do,\u201d Adam said, hoping to console his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe raised his head slightly; his eyes still clouded with tears.\u00a0 Adam noted the haunted look in the hazel eyes that searched his face.\u00a0 Joe was whimpering softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026wanna\u2026go home\u2026please Adam\u2026please?\u201d he said in a tiny voice and then buried his face against Adam\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAll right buddy, Pa\u2019s waiting for us\u2026think you can walk?\u201d Adam said softly as he helped Joe to his feet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Immediately, Joe\u2019s legs buckled beneath him.\u00a0 Hoss caught Joe before he could fall to the ground and easily swung his brother up into his arms.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll carry ya, Short Shanks,\u201d he whispered as he locked his arms around his brother and started back toward the lake, where Ben was waiting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe, completely worn to a frazzle, allowed his head to rest against Hoss\u2019 massive chest and closed his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seeing his sons coming toward him, Ben reached out and grabbed Paul\u2019s arm before the doctor could walk away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHere they come now,\u201d he said, and hurried forward to meet the threesome.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul hurried along beside Ben so that he could take a quick look at the boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSet him down, Hoss, let me check him out before you take him home,\u201d Paul said as he knelt down on the ground along side of Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe opened his eyes, seeing the doctor\u2019s face looming over him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u201d he shouted and tried to get up. \u201cI wanna go\u2026home\u2026Pa\u2026please\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEasy son,\u201d Ben said in a soothing voice.\u00a0 \u201cThe doc just wants to check you over and then we\u2019ll go home.\u201d\u00a0 Ben had taken Hoss\u2019 place on the opposite side of his son from where Paul was quickly checking Joe\u2019s vital signs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGet the horses ready, will you Hoss?\u00a0 Adam, give him a hand,\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben held Joe\u2019s hand within his own.\u00a0 His eyes continually searched his son\u2019s face, noting the strained expressions that flickered across Joe\u2019s young features.\u00a0 Joe had stopped struggling against the doctor\u2019s gentle probing and laid silently, his eyes staring at the open sky over head.\u00a0 Every now and then the boy would blink and a lone tear would break free from the rim of Joe\u2019s eye and roll slowly downward.\u00a0 Ben gently brushed back the damp strains of hair that had glued themselves to the boy\u2019s brow, wishing that he could somehow take the pain and grief away that he saw in his son\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe seems fine Ben, physically,\u201d Paul said in a soft whisper.\u00a0 \u201cBut he needs to be in the bed, he\u2019s beyond going now, totally exhausted and drained.\u00a0 Wrap him in some blankets, he\u2019s still shivering, though I think it\u2019s more from nerves, you know, fright, than from being cold.\u00a0 It\u2019s been too warm to worry about him catching a cold\u2026or worse\u2026but I want to be on the safe side.\u00a0 Make sure you get him to drink something warm, perhaps some of Hop Sing\u2019s broth, and keep him in a warm bed until I can get out to the ranch to check on him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul touched Ben\u2019s arm and silently motioned for Ben to follow him, which Ben complied.\u00a0 Adam returned to Joe\u2019s side, and while his father spoke privately with the doctor, Adam covered Joe with the blanket that had been used earlier and helped Joe over to his horse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen, Little Joe\u2019s been through an awfully lot today.\u00a0\u00a0 He\u2019s seen something that has forever left its impression in his mind.\u00a0 I dare say, knowing the boy as I do, he isn\u2019t likely to sleep very well for the next few nights, so I want you to give him these, they will help relax him and let him sleep.\u00a0 If he knows that you have them, he most likely will try to refuse them, so just put the powders into some water, or milk about thirty minutes before bedtime.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul placed the small packets of powders into the palm of Ben\u2019s hand and waited until Ben had placed them into the pocket of his vest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf you should need me, send word.\u00a0 Right now, I best be getting over to the Jenkins\u2019 house.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you Paul, for everything.\u00a0 Please give Walter and his wife our sympathy\u2026though I\u2019m not sure how well received it might be,\u201d said Ben regrettably.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTheir son\u2019s death has come as a shock to them, Ben,\u201d Paul stated.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I know it has.\u201d\u00a0 Ben glanced over at Joe and shook his head slowly from side to side.\u00a0 \u201cWhat a shame\u2026to loose a son in such a way and then to blame another man\u2019s son, when he was the only one trying to save that man\u2019s boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Ben\u2026I agree, but Walter Jenkins is a good Christian man, he was only spouting off out of grief, I\u2019m sure he didn\u2019t mean it.\u201d\u00a0 Paul followed Ben\u2019s gaze.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had mounted up and sat slumped over the saddle horn, waiting for his father.\u00a0 \u201cTake him home Ben, and shower him with love and understanding and compassion.\u00a0 I think that Joe, along with the Jenkins, all have a long, hard road ahead of them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was almost asleep by the time that they reached the ranch house.\u00a0 Ben quickly dismounted and hurried around to Joe so that he could help him down.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s actions were sluggish and when his feet touched the ground, his legs gave out from under him.\u00a0 Ben slipped his arms about Joe\u2019s sagging body and scooped him up into his arms.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you and Hoss take care of the horses for us, please.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to put your brother in bed,\u201d Ben stated as he began walking toward the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe rested his head on his father\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 The steady beat of Ben\u2019s heart and the warmth and security that Joe felt helped him to relax and he sighed deeply.\u00a0 Ben glanced down into the boy\u2019s face; Joe had closed his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Ben reached the front door and started to place his hand on the handle, it suddenly opened and startled him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing,\u201d whispered Ben, smiling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry boss, but Hop Sing see that arms are full,\u201d he smiled softly.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing have hot bath waiting for number three son.\u00a0 It help to warm boy on outside, I fix Lil\u2019tle Joe hot cocoa to warm inside.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you Hop Sing, I\u2019ll get Joe started on his bath.\u201d\u00a0 Ben slipped one of the powders into Hop Sing\u2019s hand and gave his faithful servant a nod of his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing returned the silent message with one of his own and padded softly back into the kitchen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can walk, Pa,\u201d Joe said in a tired voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYessir,\u201d replied Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, but go slowly, I\u2019ll be up in a minute to help you, I just need to speak with Hop Sing again,\u201d Ben told his son as he stood Joe on the first step to the upper level of the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned, looked for several moments at the top of the stairs and then taking a long breath he began very slowly climbing to the top.\u00a0 Ben watched until Joe got to the landing and then hurried to the kitchen to speak once more with Hop Sing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once in his room, Joe went straight to the bed and sat down on the side.\u00a0 He allowed his head to drop, his chin nearly resting on his chest.\u00a0 Tears once again filled his eyes but he was quick to brush them away.\u00a0 As he sat motionless, his eyes began to close and by the time that his father knocked softly on the door and pushed it opened, Joe was asleep sitting on the edge of the bed.\u00a0 Ben crossed the room and smiled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u201d Ben said in a soft voice.\u00a0 He placed his hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder and gently squeezed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes popped opened and when he glanced up and saw his father smiling down at him, a small smile curved his lips upward and for a brief second, Ben saw the tiny glow that shone in the hazel eyes that looked at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet me help you, son,\u201d Ben smiled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stooped down and pulled Joe\u2019s feet free from his boots and helped Joe stand.\u00a0 When Joe had unbuttoned his shirt, Ben helped him pull his arms out of the sleeves.\u00a0 Joe walked to the edge of the tub and stood staring into the water where a fine mist of steam still brewed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon,\u201d Ben muttered, catching Joe\u2019s attention.\u00a0 \u201cYou can\u2019t get in until you take off your trousers,\u201d he smiled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d Joe uttered, almost surprised with the idea.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Slowly he undid his pants and allowed them to fall to his ankles.\u00a0 Joe, preoccupied with his own thoughts, made no effort to hide the fact that he stood naked before his father, but Ben had the good graces to turn his back to the boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou finish with your bath son, I\u2019ll be back in a few minutes with your hot cocoa,\u201d Ben said as he made his way to the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben paused at the door waiting for an answer but Joe did not acknowledge his father.\u00a0 Ben watched in silence as Joe stepped into the tub and then slowly lowered his weary body down into the warm water.\u00a0 Joe had pinched his eyes tightly shut, his lips were pressed together as his father turned, troubled by the disconcerting expression on his young son\u2019s face, and left his son alone to take his bath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A short time later, Ben returned and tapped lightly on the door before pushing it opened.\u00a0 As he entered, Joe was just finishing pulling his nightshirt over his head.\u00a0 The boy turned around and when he spied his father entering his room, Joe sat down on the edge of the bed.\u00a0 Ben set the tray baring Joe\u2019s hot cocoa on the table and poured a mug for his son.\u00a0 When he stood before Joe, Joe glanced up, tears filling his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was an accident\u2026honest, Pa\u2026I didn\u2019t mean for it to happen,\u201d Joe muttered and then hung his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben quickly sat the mug down on the tray and then placed himself on the bed next to his son.\u00a0 Wrapping his arm about Joe\u2019s shoulders, Ben gently pulled Joe\u2019s head down onto his shoulder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course it was an accident, son.\u00a0 No body meant for it to happen, but things like that do happen.\u00a0 It\u2019s sad and regretful when they do, but Joe it\u2019s a part of life.\u00a0 Dying, I mean.\u00a0 And death, when it comes, isn\u2019t concerned with the how and why\u2019s of things, only that it was that person\u2019s time to die,\u201d Ben explained as he cradled his son close to him in his arms.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had begun to whimper softly.\u00a0 \u201cI know about all of that, Pa\u2026but I promised Rocky\u2019s pa that I would watch out for him\u2026and I\u2026I\u2026didn\u2019t do what I promised.\u00a0 Doesn\u2019t that make it my fault?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had raised his head and was watching his father.\u00a0 Ben knew that what he would have to say now, must be words of comfort for his son and said in such a way as to be of help to his youngest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you were not the only young person with Rocky today.\u00a0 From what I saw, there were several of you.\u00a0 Son, can you tell me what happened?\u00a0 I mean, what were all of you doing when you first realized that your friend was not with the rest of the group?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe had been swinging off the rope, you know\u2026the one you helped me fix last summer.\u00a0 And we were all having a turn when the girls showed up with a picnic for all of us.\u00a0 We all sat down and started eating, that\u2019s when someone noticed that Rocky was missing.\u00a0 When we couldn\u2019t find him and someone suggested that he might have taken one last swing on the rope, I got scared and dove in\u2026that\u2019s when\u2026when I found\u2026him.\u201d\u00a0 Joe swallowed hard and looked away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe was already dead\u2026I could tell cause\u2026there were no air bubbles coming out of his nose or mouth,\u201d gulped Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben could feel Joe\u2019s body begin to tremble and for several moments Ben held his son tightly, his heart aching for the father who had lost his son, but comforted by the presence of his own son, which he felt crushed against him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI should have\u2026been paying more attention to him than to\u2026Cindy,\u201d Joe whispered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh son, Rocky chose to take that last dive.\u00a0 True, he shouldn\u2019t have, leastwise, without letting the rest of you know, but what happened, happened.\u00a0 You couldn\u2019t have foreseen what would happen, nor could you have prevented it, and besides son, there were the others, if you are guilty, then so are they,\u201d Ben tried to make his son understand the total situation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa, you don\u2019t understand\u2026I\u2019m the one who invited Rocky to come alone, and I\u2019m the one who promised his father that I would make sure he got home safely.\u00a0 But instead\u2026Rocky\u2019s dead, because he\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause he did something very foolish\u2026not because of anything that you did or didn\u2019t do, Joseph.\u201d\u00a0 Ben stood to his feet and reached for the mug of cocoa and handed it to Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHere, drink this son, and I want you to try to get some sleep.\u201d\u00a0 Ben smiled down at his son.\u00a0 \u201cCareful, it\u2019s still hot.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe took a sip of the hot drink.\u00a0 He held the mug with both hands and continued to sip the cocoa until it was almost gone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Joe said as he handed the mug back to his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took the mug and replaced it on the tray and turned back to his son.\u00a0 \u201cNow, I want you to go to sleep,\u201d Ben ordered gently while covering Joe with the blankets.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, try not to worry about what happened, at least for now.\u00a0 Things will look better in the morning, they always do son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben bent over and placed a kiss on Joe\u2019s brow.\u00a0 \u201cI love you Joe,\u201d he whispered tenderly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked deeply into his father\u2019s eyes, and tried to smile.\u00a0 \u201cI love you too, Pa,\u201d he sniffed, trying hard not to cry again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s hand gently caressed the boy\u2019s cheek.\u00a0 When Joe suddenly reached for his father\u2019s hand and held it tightly within his own, Ben made no attempt to pull away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026I\u2026don\u2019t want to be\u2026alone right now.\u00a0 Could you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I will.\u201d\u00a0 Ben removed his hand then and pulled the chair over to the bed.\u00a0 \u201cNow, you close your eyes and I\u2019ll be right here when you wake up,\u201d he promised.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks Pa,\u201d whispered Joe as he snuggled down beneath the warm blankets and closed his eyes.\u00a0 Minutes later he was asleep.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It had grown dark outside and the time had slipped by slowly.\u00a0 Ben dozed in the chair in which he sat.\u00a0 His head had dropped forward and he had begun to snore softly.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes were tightly closed, and had his father been watching, he would have seen the way that his son\u2019s eyes danced around behind the lids.\u00a0 It was a sure sign that the boy was dreaming.\u00a0 The soft whimpering sounds, had they been loud enough, would have alerted his father to the fact that his son\u2019s dream was anything but pleasant.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Across the hall, and down at the far end, Adam had just laid aside his book and lowered the wick on his lamp.\u00a0 Hoss, who had been asleep for hours now, snored softly.\u00a0 Neither were unaware of the beginnings of their younger brother\u2019s nightmare that was soon to shatter the tranquility of the slumbering household.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026no\u2026\u201d Joe\u2019s sweat drenched head lolled from side to side on his already dampened pillow as he fought against the faceless predator who had slipped into his dream and had caught him unaware.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The whimpering started softly and slowly began to grow in volume.\u00a0 Ben, deep in sleep had not yet heard the murmuring of his troubled son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRocky!\u00a0 Rocky!\u00a0 Where are you!!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNO\u2026OH GOD\u2026NO!\u201d Joe screamed as he bolted up right in bed.\u00a0 \u201cHELP ME! HELP ME!\u00a0 SOMEONE\u2026PLEASE\u2026HELP M\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph\u2026Joseph\u2026wake up son\u2026wake up\u2026Joe\u2026sweetheart\u2026\u201d Ben had awakened with a start and placed himself on the side of the bed next to the boy.\u00a0\u00a0 He tightly gripped his son\u2019s shoulders and began gently shaking the boy who thrashed about and waved his arms frantically about in the air.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was gasping for breath, the pupils of his eyes had enlarged, and the uncommon fright that caused his body to shiver violently, showed in the hazel depths.\u00a0 Tears streamed down his face where the twisted features gave further evidence of the immense terror that had invaded the young boy\u2019s dreams.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was first to burst into the room, followed moments later by Hoss.\u00a0 Both boys stopped in their tracks at the sight of their younger brother fighting against the hands that so lovingly were trying to calm him and bring peace to his confused mind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShh\u2026Joe\u2026Pa\u2019s here now, precious\u2026don\u2019t cry, son.\u201d\u00a0 Ben had clasped Joe\u2019s fraying arms and pulled the weeping child in against his chest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After several moments, Joe began to calm down and his sobs became soft whimpers.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u2026Pa\u2026I didn\u2019t mean\u2026to wake everyone up,\u201d Joe said in words that were broken.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s alright son, I know you didn\u2019t mean too.\u00a0 Are you feeling okay now?\u201d Ben pulled Joe gently back and smiled down at the boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe swallowed and nodded his head.\u00a0 Behind his father he saw that his brothers were awake as well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid I wake you up too?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t really asleep Joe, I had just turned down my lamp,\u201d Adam explained.\u00a0 \u201cI was reading.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh\u2026Hoss? Did I wake you up?\u00a0 If so\u2026I\u2019m sorry.\u201d\u00a0 Joe rested his head back against his pillow, his countenance was heartbreaking for his family to see, as he appeared very unhappy, and down hearted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t make no never mind, Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just go back to bed and get a couple more hours sleep; it\u2019s awhile afore daylight anyway.\u00a0 You need anything?\u201d Hoss inquired, giving the boy one of his most gracious smiles.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m fine now\u2026honest,\u201d Joe answered.\u00a0 He glanced around the room at his family and tried to smile.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss slipped silently from the room, leaving their father to deal with the aftermath of their brother\u2019s nightmare.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s head was buried deeply into the pillow as Ben sat gently brushing back the dampened curls and tenderly caressing his son\u2019s cheek where Ben could still feel the moisture from the previous onslaught of tears that had yet to dry.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWould you like to tell me about your dream\u201d Ben encouraged in an affectionate voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head slowly from side to side.\u00a0 \u201cAin\u2019t nothing to tell\u2026it was only a dream,\u201d he said flatly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI heard you calling Rocky\u2019 name\u2026I take it that your dream had to do with him?\u201d\u00a0 Ben\u2019s voice held all the compassion he had for he knew that his son had had one of the very worst days of his entire life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, Pa\u2026\u201d Joe\u2019s voice sounded tiny and frightened as his eyes began filling with tears once more.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t want to talk about it\u2026I\u2019d rather just try to forget\u2026it,\u201d sniffed Joe as he ran his hands over the front of his face attempting to wipe away the tears before they had managed to steal away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben could see that Joe was once again becoming agitated and felt it best for now to let the subject drop, but he knew that soon, Joe would have to open up to him and talk about what had happened up at the swimming hole.\u00a0 If he didn\u2019t, the matter would grow and fester deep within his heart and if he weren\u2019t careful, Joe would end up very emotionally scarred, perhaps for the rest of his life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Joseph, you just try to go back to sleep.\u00a0 What you need most right now is plenty of rest.\u00a0 I\u2019ll stay right here\u2026if you still want me too?\u201d Ben said as he covered Joe with the blanket.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben saw Joe swallow and then heard him gulp.\u00a0 \u201cYou need sleep too, Pa.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you go on to bed\u2026I\u2019ll be okay? I\u2019ll call you if I need anything\u2026that is, if it\u2019s okay with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled, \u201cOf course it is, son.\u00a0 You close your eyes and I\u2019ll wait until you fall asleep and then I think I will lie down and try to catch a couple of hours of sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded his head and then snuggled down, turning over on his side, with his back to his father.\u00a0 The dream had frightened him beyond reason and he felt himself shiver from the effects that the dream had left with him.\u00a0 Rocky\u2019s face, the blank look in the vacant eyes, the lifeless body swaying against the gentle flow of the current, the body already beginning to bloat from the water that his friend had swallowed\u2026it had been a horrific sight\u2026and\u2026reasoned Joe\u2026it had been his fault!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe woke finally by mid-morning.\u00a0 He lay listening but could hear no one moving around down stairs and so eased himself out of bed.\u00a0 As he slipped on his trousers, he heard voices coming from the yard below and he hurried to his window to see who it was. \u00a0His father was talking to the sheriff, Adam came from the barn and joined them and a moment later Hoss rode into the yard and joined them as well.\u00a0 Joe watched and wondered what it was that had brought the sheriff out to speak with his father and he couldn\u2019t help but worry that perhaps Roy\u2019s errand might have something to do with what had happened the day before.\u00a0 Joe turned from the window and hurried to slip on his boots.\u00a0 He grabbed his shirt from the back of the chair slipping it on as he rushed from his room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By the time that Joe made it to the porch, Roy had already said his good-bye\u2019s and was already riding around the corner of the barn.\u00a0 Ben had started back toward the house and when he spied his youngest son he smiled warmly at the boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I see you finally woke up,\u201d Ben greeted Joe. \u201cI hope you rested well,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYessir.\u00a0 What did Roy want, Pa?\u201d inquired Joe as he followed Ben to the side porch and sat down opposite his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood in front of the table as he picked up his papers and thumbed through them.\u00a0 He paused and glanced at his son, worried by how haggard the boy still appeared.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRoy just stopped by to tell me that the Jenkins were burying their son first thing in the morning.\u00a0 He thought that we might like to attend the funeral,\u201d he explained, not surprised that the expression on Joe\u2019s face suddenly changed.\u00a0 The boy looked as if he might burst into tears.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think it only proper that we go, but if you would rather not, I\u2019d understand, son,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had dropped his head but slowly raised it and looked up at his father.\u00a0 When he spoke, Ben heard the hesitation in his son\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe gulped, \u201cDo I have too?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat down across from Joe and placed his hand over Joe\u2019s.\u00a0 \u201cAs I said, I think it would only be the right thing to do, but I won\u2019t force you Joe, if you\u2019d rather not.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026I\u2026it\u2019s just\u2026\u201d stammered Joe and then faltered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust what, son?\u201d Ben asked.\u00a0 He saw the sad expression that clouded Joe\u2019s vision as the tears slowly began to fill his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think that I could\u2026face them\u2026not after what I\u2019ve done,\u201d Joe muttered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben felt as if his heart had stopped beating.\u00a0 He had been hoping that Joe would have come to terms with the fact that his friend\u2019s drowning had been an accident, not his fault.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, you didn\u2019t do anything.\u00a0 Rocky\u2019s drowning was an accident.\u00a0 Won\u2019t you please try to believe that?\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t your fault, or anyone else\u2019s.\u201d\u00a0 Ben was getting worried that the death of his neighbor\u2019s son might have a lasting affect on his own son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know you\u2019re trying to make me feel better, but Pa\u2026even Mr. Jenkins said it was my fault.\u00a0 I should have been\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben\u2019s voice had taken on a more authoritative tone knowing that he had to somehow get through to his son.\u00a0 \u201cMr. Jenkins spoke out of grief, shock, and\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnger\u2026I know all of that Pa, but what he said was the truth\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo, you think I\u2019m lying to you by telling you that it was an accident and not your fault at all?\u201d Ben said angrily.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo Pa!\u201d\u00a0 Joe pushed back his chair and stood up. \u00a0\u201cI didn\u2019t say that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The tears began slipping slowly down his cheek and his father\u2019s heart softened as he came around the corner of the table and placed both hands on Joe\u2019s slim shoulders.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry son, I didn\u2019t mean to snap at you, or to upset you,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0 He gently pulled Joe into his arms and held him tightly.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t you and I stay here?\u00a0 I\u2019m sure that Adam and Hoss wouldn\u2019t mind paying our respects to the Jenkins.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe buried his face into his father\u2019s chest and allowed Ben to hold him for several moments before he pulled away.\u00a0 As he turned from his father, he dabbed at the tears that still clung to his chin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026we should go,\u201d he said as he turned around and gazed up at his father.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be alright, Pa\u2026as long as\u2026you\u2019re there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s entire body was drenched in sweat as Joe tossed from one side of the bed to the other.\u00a0 His blankets lay in disarray where they had been shuffled about to the end of the bed from Joe\u2019s constant thrashing about.\u00a0 The sheets, once crispy and fresh were now torn loose from the corners of the mattress and were dampened by the moisture that seeped from practically every pore of the young boy\u2019s body.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The nightmare varied little with each haunting dream that Joe had.\u00a0 More than once he had been awakened, shivering and frightened by the memory of the hollow eyes, the discolored lips with the bluish tint, the body that swayed in motion with the undercurrent, and each time he cried, blaming himself over and over as the reoccurring dream haunted his sleep.\u00a0 This night had been no different.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe climbed from his bed, his face streaked with the last remains of his tears.\u00a0 He shoved aside the heavy drapes and peered through the window into the blackness of night.\u00a0 The funeral that he had attended earlier in the week with his family, had been a living nightmare.\u00a0 Mrs. Jenkins had leaned heavily against her husband, the sound of her weeping had echoed in Joe\u2019s ears long after the service had ended.\u00a0 The distraught woman had finally collapsed and had to be carried off by her relatives all the while wailing her son\u2019s name over and over until Joe could no longer stand the piteous shrieking and had bolted from his father\u2019s side and run off.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben found his son an hour later bent over his own mother\u2019s grave, weeping.\u00a0 Nothing that Ben had said had offered any amount of comfort, so he had sat silently and patiently and waited until Joe had cried himself out.\u00a0 Once Joe had regained a certain amount of control over his disquieting emotions, he had obliged his father by riding home with him and allowed Ben to help him into bed.\u00a0 Worn totally out emotionally, Joe had dropped off to sleep almost as quickly as his father had lowered the wick in the lamp.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The pattern had been set, for every night since, Joe had awakened from his nightmares.\u00a0 His pleas and whimpering had alerted his father to his distress and as always, Ben had rushed to his son\u2019s bedside to console the distraught boy.\u00a0 Ben watched daily how Joe\u2019s personality and attitude suffered and how his son\u2019s guilt snatched from him, his once happy, vivacious child.\u00a0 Ben wondered if Joe would ever again be the laughing, carefree, high-spirited youth that he had been on the morning before the accident had occurred.\u00a0 That day seemed so very long ago now, and Ben yearned to have his son back as before.\u00a0 No amount of talking or pleading by any of his family members had brought Joe any closer to an understanding of the situation. Ben was at his wit\u2019s end as to how to help his son and had, on this particular day, vowed to himself that as soon as he finished breakfast he would ride into town to consult with his friend and family physician, Paul Martin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe quietly pulled on his trousers and slipped from his room.\u00a0 He had given up any hope of going back to sleep.\u00a0 Besides, he reasoned he didn\u2019t really want to sleep, he was afraid to.\u00a0 The face of his friend, the empty eyes that stared out through the murky water, the wailing sound of a woman\u2019s voice, the tormented shouts of the grieving father, frightened Joe and thus the boy had willed himself to remain awake, night after long night.\u00a0 Now the boy walked around as if in a trance, adding more worries and concern to his already anxious family who fretted over his every move.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe fumbled his way through the darkened hall until he stood at the top of the staircase.\u00a0 He paused to steady himself before moving downward.\u00a0 When he at last reached the last step he glanced up over his shoulder to be sure that his father or brothers had not heard the soft noises that the stairs made when they squeaked.\u00a0 Feeling that he had managed to make it to the great-room without alerting his family of his presence, Joe slowly moved to the buffet in the dining room.\u00a0 Once he was squatting down, he began opening door after door until he found what he was looking for.\u00a0 As his fingers wrapped themselves about the tall slender decanter, Joe paused, closing his eyes tightly.\u00a0 Just as quickly he opened them, tears had formed in the deep wells and threatened to spill over.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy\u2026why\u2026oh why\u2026\u201d he muttered.\u00a0 \u201cThe eyes\u2026it\u2019s always\u2026his eyes,\u201d he whispered to no one as he pulled the decanter of brandy from the shelf.\u00a0 Seeing a second bottle, he took it as well and moved to his father\u2019s red chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sank down into the cushion, careful not to drop the two decanters.\u00a0 He sat one beside him on the chair and then turned his full attention to the one in his right hand.\u00a0 He struggled with the top, turning and twisting it until it finally popped free.\u00a0 Joe sniffed the brandy and then, placing the rim of the decanter to his lips, drank freely of the sweet tasting liquor.\u00a0 After several large gulps, Joe paused, taking a deep breath and giving the beverage time to sink into his stomach.\u00a0 Again he turned the decanter up and swallowed the free flowing liquid.\u00a0 His head began to throb and Joe felt warm all over.\u00a0 His stomach protested by rumbling and when Joe stood to his feet, he grabbed the second bottle from the cushion.\u00a0 When he turned too quickly, he swayed and was forced to hold on to the pieces of furniture as he staggered to the front door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When he reached the credenza, he rested, leaning his body against the sturdy piece of furniture while he finished off the last of the brandy from his father\u2019s decanter.\u00a0 Joe dropped the bottle as he reached for his hat that hung on the wall behind the door.\u00a0 As he arranged his hat on his head, he yanked opened the door with one hand, the other clinging tightly to the second bottle and stumbled out into the early morning darkness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was able to see well enough to make his way across the yard.\u00a0 He tottered from side to side as he headed for the barn and once there, quickly raised the latch and pulled opened the door.\u00a0 Joe stepped inside and stopped long enough to drink deeply of his father\u2019s brandy.\u00a0 Joe heard himself burp and then giggled.\u00a0 Somehow, he managed to put the bridle on his horse and led Cochise out into the open.\u00a0 With no saddle, his brandy still in his hand, Joe managed to haul himself up onto his horse and ride out of the yard unobserved.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It took him over an hour to arrive at the old swimming hole.\u00a0 The boy slumped over his horse\u2019s neck when Cochise finally stopped.\u00a0 As Joe slipped from the back of his mount, he clung tightly to the horse\u2019s mane for support and to keep himself from sinking to the ground in a crumbled ball.\u00a0 Once he felt sure that his feet were firmly planted on the ground, Joe some how, in his drunken state, managed to walk to the water\u2019s edge where he stopped and stared into the mucky depths.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cROCKY!\u201d Joe shouted at the top of his lungs.\u00a0 \u201cROCKY!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He swayed and turned the bottle up to his mouth and took a long swig.\u00a0 His arm dropped carelessly to his side, his fingers entwined around the neck of the bottle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWHY\u2019D YA HAVE TO GO GET DROWNED?\u201d he screamed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe brushed his hand across his face, cleaning the tears from his eyes.\u00a0 Joe took a step and staggered backwards.\u00a0 As he felt himself falling, he reached out for a handhold, dropping and shattering the bottle of brandy on the rocks beneath the shallow water.\u00a0 Joe toppled over, cutting the palm of his hand as he fell.\u00a0 His senses dulled by his drunkenness, Joe was unaware of the pain or the blood that seeped from the deep gash.\u00a0 He lay half in and half out of the water\u2019s edge, sobbing out his sorrow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSTOP STARING AT ME!\u00a0 WHY DON\u2019T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?\u201d Joe cried loudly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He crawled up onto the dry grass and stayed lying on his stomach.\u00a0 When he swiped his hand over his face, a thin trail of blood from his bleeding hand remained. Joe refused to get up; he had begun to shiver, for the water had been cold and the early morning air cool and crisp.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d muttered Joe, burying his face in his arms.\u00a0 \u201cHow many times\u2026I gotta say it\u2026I\u2019m sorry\u2026I\u2019m sorry Rocky\u2026I never meant\u2026for you to die,\u201d Joe lamented.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease\u2026please\u2026stop looking at me\u2026your eyes\u2026they\u2019re so\u2026\u201d Joe felt as if he were dying as he wept loudly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly Joe pulled himself to his feet and faced the water again.\u00a0 He took a couple of small steps forward, his fingers folded into tight fist and he waved his left hand about in the air.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWHY!\u00a0 WHY COULDN\u2019T IT HAVE BEEN\u2026ME!\u201d\u00a0 Joe swayed, nearly falling for the second time. His head had been tossed backward, unbalancing his sodden body as he continued to screech.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s voice was beginning to crack.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t mean for\u2026you to die\u2026\u201d sobbed Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI tired\u2026to\u2026save you\u2026OH GOD PLEASE\u2026HELP ME!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe dropped to his knees, his behind resting on the heels of his boots while his arms hung haphazardly down by his sides.\u00a0 His chin was practically resting on his chest; he was totally unaware of the man who stood, silhouetted against the darkness, watching from the shadows of the trees.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silently, the man moved forward, toward Joe and stopped directly behind the sobbing boy who had begun to mumble incoherently.\u00a0 The man gently placed his large hands under Joe\u2019s arms and pulled the boy to his feet.\u00a0 As the man turned Joe about, Joe\u2019s legs buckled and the man was forced to gather the boy into his arms or let the boy fall face down into the cold water.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once secured, Joe was carried from the shallow water to the edge of the woods where he was carefully laid on the soft grasses.\u00a0 Joe tried to focus his eyes on the man\u2019s face but they took too long to clear and instead they closed and remained thus for several long moments.\u00a0 When he opened them, the man had moved from his side and Joe raised his head slightly, looking for the man who had pulled him from the water.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he pushed himself up on one elbow, Joe felt his stomach do a flop.\u00a0 Suddenly the muscles in his mid-section tightened and when the foul tasting fluid filled his mouth, Joe retched.\u00a0 Repeatedly his stomach protested against the brandy that Joe had consumed and the boy vomited until there was nothing left in his belly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The coolness of the soft cloth wiping his face refreshed Joe enough that he was finally able to focus his eyes.\u00a0 The man knelt over him, tenderly cleaning away the remains of spittle from his lips.\u00a0 Joe felt his body shiver and quickly the man covered him with a warm blanket and tossed some logs on the fire that he had built.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDrink this,\u201d the man ordered Joe as he held out a tin cup filled with piping hot coffee.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe accepted the cup and carefully sipped.\u00a0 His eyes followed the man about the camp for several minutes while the man checked on the horses and picked up a few more twigs to add to the fire.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t spoken a word other than to order him to drink the coffee and Joe wondered if perhaps the man might be up to no good. Believing that to be the case, Joe started to get up but was stopped by the deep blaring tone of the man\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere do you think you are going?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHome,\u201d sputtered Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLie down, you\u2019re in no shape to go anywhere,\u201d the man ordered and then taking the blanket, rearranged it about Joe\u2019s body.\u00a0 \u201cNow lay still, if you don\u2019t you\u2019ll only get sick again,\u201d he said.\u00a0 This time his voice was soft, almost as if he cared what happened to the boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYessir,\u201d Joe said meekly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The man turned away to poke at the fire.\u00a0 Joe felt the churning in his stomach and though he hadn\u2019t meant to, he groaned and then quite suddenly was sick again. Instantly the man was by his side, holding Joe\u2019s head in his hands as Joe retched.\u00a0 When he\u2019d finished, the man dampened the cloth with water and once more cleaned Joe\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI take it that you\u2019ve never been drunk before,\u201d the man said softly, smiling slightly at Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head, suddenly regretting the motion, for his head had begun to ache and his vision blurred.\u00a0 Again the man smiled and then surprised Joe by brushing back a dampened lock of hair from his forehead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour head\u2019s gonna be hurting something awful before long.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt already does,\u201d moaned Joe.\u00a0 He had pinched his lips tightly and closed his eyes against the pounding pain.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t do anything to help your head, but let\u2019s see what we can do about that cut,\u201d the man said softly and left Joe, just long enough to get some things out of his saddlebag.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When the man returned, he carefully began cleaning the cut on Joe\u2019s hand and within minutes had a clean bandage tied with a neat little knot to hold it in place.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have anything for the pain, sorry,\u201d he said.\u00a0 The man\u2019s lips twitched slightly and formed a tiny smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d whispered Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy what?\u201d the man asked as he settled himself next to Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had raised up into a sitting position and had wrapped the blanket about his shoulders.\u00a0 He studied the man\u2019s face, not sure of the expression in the eyes that watched him just as closely.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are you helping me?\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When he saw the man\u2019s expression soften, and the man\u2019s eyes fill with tears, Joe felt his own tears sting his eyes.\u00a0 Rocky\u2019s father scooted closer to his son\u2019s friend.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I owe it to you\u2026because you tried so hard to help my son\u2026and because I want to help you,\u201d Walter Jenkins said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe swallowed the hard knot that choked him.\u00a0 \u201cBut\u2026I let your son\u2026die,\u201d he muttered, confused by this man\u2019s seeming kindness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Walter raised his head, placed his hand firmly on Joe\u2019s shoulder and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo you didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut you said\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know what I said!\u00a0 But I was crazy with grief\u2026and I was angry\u2026but not at you, son, not really.\u00a0 Oh, I know I said it was your fault, and that I held you responsible, and my words added to the blame you were already feeling\u2026and I was wrong, Little Joe\u2026so very, very wrong.\u00a0 I never really blamed you, only myself\u2026because I allowed Rocky to go along.\u00a0 I think it was easier for me to blame you, to accuse you rather than to admit that I was to blame.\u00a0 You see Joe, Rocky\u2019s mother had told him that morning that he couldn\u2019t go, because of some argument that they had earlier, but I let him go anyway, against his mother\u2019s wishes.\u00a0That\u2019s why it\u2019s really my fault\u2026that\u2019s why I let you take all the blame, so that I could live with myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe could hardly believe the man\u2019s words.\u00a0 Mr. Jenkins had blamed him for something that he had no control over.\u00a0 It had been just as his father had tried to explain, but he had been too wrapped up in blaming himself to really understand what his father had tried to tell him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I can see what my words\u2026and my actions have done to you.\u00a0 They have nearly destroyed your life,\u201d Walter paused and brushed his hand over his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI want you to know that I appreciate what you tried to do\u2026trying to save my son.\u00a0 It took courage to keep going down into that water.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Walter took Joe by the shoulders and squeezed them firmly.\u00a0 \u201cDo you understand Joe?\u00a0 You are not to blame, I am!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026I\u2026think so, but\u2026\u201d Joe felt his stomach churning again and fought to keep its contents down.\u00a0 \u201cI keep having this dream\u2026a nightmare really\u2026\u201d Joe began sniffling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTell me about it, please?\u201d whispered Mr. Jenkins.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe glanced up into the man\u2019s face, he seemed sincere, but how could Joe tell the man that what haunted him the most was the hollow eyes and swaying body and\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease?\u201d he heard Walter mutter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I dove into the water, the first time, I couldn\u2019t find Rocky.\u00a0 But when I dove in again, I found him\u2026he was tangled in the water grasses.\u00a0 They get real long, like vines and\u2026he was caught.\u00a0 I tried to get him loose, but the grasses are thick and I couldn\u2019t free him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Walter had moved closer to Joe and when Joe\u2019s chin had begun to quiver, Walter wrapped an arm about Joe\u2019s shoulder and pulled the boy close to him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGo on, what about the dream?\u201d Walter asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHis eyes\u2026they were opened\u2026and he had already stopped breathing.\u00a0 I can\u2019t seem to get that image of them out of my mind\u2026and every time that I go to sleep\u2026I see Rocky\u2026staring at me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe had begun to whimper softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m\u2026scared to go\u2026to sleep,\u201d he confessed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had held back his tears for as long as he could but now they dripped slowly down his face.\u00a0 When he felt Mr. Jenkins pull him to his breast, Joe buried his face in the man\u2019s chest and wept.\u00a0 Walter held Joe tightly, his own eyes which had filled with tears, seeped the tiny droplets as he whispered words of comfort to the sorrowful boy held tightly in his arms.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease Joe\u2026try to put it out of your mind.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s hard, but maybe now, since you know that Rocky\u2019s death wasn\u2019t really your fault, you can get past what happened,\u201d Walter tried to explain to Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll try\u2026but it isn\u2019t going\u2026to be easy,\u201d muttered Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe pulled back from the man who held him and glanced up.\u00a0 The sun had just crested over the tops of the mountains and the early morning mist glistened like a million tiny diamonds.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI need to get home\u2026my Pa will be worried about me,\u201d Joe said at last and then stood to his feet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI reckon he will, Joe,\u201d Walter said as he got up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Walter placed his hand firmly down on Joe\u2019s shoulder and gently squeezed.\u00a0 \u201cPromise me something, Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Joe asked, searching the man\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cStop blaming yourself\u2026and if you can find it in your heart\u2026please forgive me for what I\u2019ve done to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Walter\u2019s voice cracked and he unexpectedly pulled Joe into an embrace.\u00a0 He clung tightly to Joe, who stood rigid at first and then as the man began to sob, relaxed against the man\u2019s breast.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Jenkins\u2026sir\u2026\u201d began Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI forgive you\u2026and, I promise I\u2019ll try to stop feeling guilty, but you gotta promise me something too,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Walter pulled back from Joe, still holding onto the boy\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2026I know what you are going to say\u2026that I have to forgive myself, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the same thing that my wife says\u2026that forgiveness has to come from the heart\u2026that to be able to carry on with life, we have to learn how to forgive, not only others, but ourselves as well.\u00a0 She\u2019s right you know\u2026she usually is.\u201d\u00a0 Walter smiled softly.\u00a0 \u201cIf she forgives me, and you forgive me\u2026then who am I that I should not forgive myself?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you Joe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026I thank you\u2026you\u2019ve made me see just what my Pa was trying to explain to me\u2026that things happen in life\u2026that even bad things happen to good people.\u00a0 But those things shouldn\u2019t stop us from believing in ourselves or in God\u2026and I\u2019d already stopped believing in both.\u00a0 I was ready to give up\u2026until you found me,\u201d whispered Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour father is a wise man, Little Joe.\u00a0 Go home now and tell him that you finally understand.\u00a0 He wants to help you son, let him\u2026he loves you, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYessir\u2026I know,\u201d Joe made a grimace, \u201c Though I can\u2019t figure out why sometimes, I tend to grate on his nerves,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Walter helped Joe onto his horse and before Joe turned Cochise toward home, the man placed his hand on Joe\u2019s knee.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDrop over to visit me sometime\u2026please?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded his head, \u201cI will\u2026I promise.\u00a0 It might be a while though, when my Pa finds out that I drank all his brandy, I\u2019ll probably never get to leave the ranch again, until I\u2019m eighteen at least,\u201d he smiled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll wait,\u201d Walter said and then stepped back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nudged his horse into action and waved his hand at Mr. Jenkins.\u00a0 Walter stood back, watching silently.\u00a0 When Joe was gone, the man gathered his things and went back home, a changed man.\u00a0 The sorrow remained and would for a long time, but the bitterness and the anger that he had carried with him for so long, was gone now.\u00a0 There had been nothing that he could have done to save his own son, but he had managed to save another man\u2019s son from certain doom.\u00a0 He smiled, his satisfaction shone in his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Joe rode into the yard, Ben was just leading Buck from the barn.\u00a0 He paused watching Joe slide down from his horse\u2019s bare back.\u00a0 He had been shocked to find his son missing, and passed being worried when he had come down stairs only to find the empty brandy decanter lying in the floor, and the front door opened.\u00a0 When he had raced to the barn and found Joe\u2019s horse gone, Ben\u2019s fear for his son\u2019s well being had mounted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That fear subsided now as he watched Joe walk slowly toward him.\u00a0 He saw that the troubled lines that had stamped their impressions onto his son\u2019s young features had softened.\u00a0 Ben wondered what had happened to make the change.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe ambled across the yard, swaying slightly as he did so.\u00a0 His balance was still off some from the lingering effects of all the brandy that he had consumed.\u00a0 As he looked up at this father, he could only guess at what his father might say and do to him, for it was sure that his father knew of his drunkenness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath to calm himself as Joe stopped before him.\u00a0 He could smell the sour odor of the liquor and the repugnant smell of vomit and knew instantly that Joe had been sick. \u00a0His anger that he had first felt when finding his most expensive decanter of brandy gone, and his son missing, faded as he looked into the tear filled eyes that searched his, silently begging for understanding.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u201d Ben said softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s chin began to quiver and when Ben lovingly touched the boy\u2019s cheek with his fingers, Joe fell against his father\u2019s chest and wrapped his arms about his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa\u2026I didn\u2019t mean to worry you\u2026but\u2026but\u2026I couldn\u2019t take it anymore\u2026\u201d sobbed the child.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI drank all your brandy\u2026and then went up to the swimming hole\u2026I\u2026I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cForget it son, it doesn\u2019t matter\u2026you came back, that\u2019s all that matters to me,\u201d Ben whispered as he tilted Joe\u2019s chin upward so that he could see into Joe\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSomething happened to you while you were there\u2026tell me about it, please,\u201d Ben pleaded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was drunk\u2026and I went up there to\u2026I\u2019m not sure really, why I went.\u00a0 I guess I thought I could talk to Rocky\u2026maybe to get some understanding or maybe just to see if I could find some relief from feeling so guilty\u2026I don\u2019t really know,\u201d stammered Joe as he looked teary eyed up at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd did you, son?\u201d Ben asked hopefully, for he had feared other reasons as to why his son might drink himself into a drunken stupor and then disappear.\u00a0 The images that his troubled mind had conjured up had frightened him.\u00a0 The relief he now felt with Joe entwined within the folds of his arms, was just as overwhelming as his fear had been.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Mr. Jenkins was there\u2026he helped me when I fell in the water, and then again when I got sick\u2026and he bandaged my hand.\u00a0 I cut it on the brandy decanter when I dropped it and it broke.\u201d\u00a0 Joe held his hand up for his father to see.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI asked him why he was helping me when he blamed me for Rocky\u2019s death.\u00a0 That\u2019s when he explained\u2026just like you said\u2026he didn\u2019t really blame me.\u00a0 He said that he was to blame, because he let Rocky go with us when Mrs. Jenkins had already told Rocky that he couldn\u2019t go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe blew his nose on the handkerchief that his father handed to him and then continued.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Jenkins told me that it was easier for him to blame me than to accept responsibility for what he did, and that was going against his wife\u2019s wishes.\u00a0 It was hard for him Pa, he cried\u2026and\u2026so did I.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then he asked me to forgive him.\u201d \u00a0Joe backed away a few paces and then turned around to face Ben.\u00a0 \u201cIt was always his eyes\u2026in my dream\u2026they scared me, Pa\u2026that\u2019s why I wouldn\u2019t allow myself to sleep\u2026they kept coming back\u2026staring at me, as if they were accusing me of letting him die.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe began to whimper.\u00a0 His father reached out and drew his son back into his arms.\u00a0 \u201cMr. Jenkins said we, he and I, should learn to move on\u2026and that I should not blame myself, he didn\u2019t blame me and so I shouldn\u2019t either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s right Joseph, I\u2019ve tried to make you understand that from the very beginning and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know you have Pa, but I couldn\u2019t see past what Mr. Jenkins said to me that day, when Adam brought Rocky out of the water.\u00a0 But now, hearing him tell me, makes things seem different.\u00a0 I can\u2019t explain it, Pa\u2026but I knew you would never blame me\u2026but I blamed myself and when Mr. Jenkins said that is was my fault, I naturally believed him,\u201d Joe explained. \u201cSomehow, it was easier to believe that I was to blame than to believe that I wasn\u2019t, maybe because I already believed I was.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They had moved to the side porch and Ben had sat down.\u00a0 Joe paced back and forth in front of him, still struggling to express his feelings.\u00a0 He stopped and twirled around, looking down at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen Mr. Jenkins said that he nearly ruined my life by letting me think I was to blame, rather than to admit he that he was really the one at fault, I stopped being mad at him.\u00a0 And\u2026I suppose right then, I felt more sorry for him than I did myself,\u201d Joe admitted. \u201cThat\u2019s what I was doing\u2026feeling sorry for myself, I mean.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know why, Pa\u2026but I did.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd now Joseph?\u201d questioned Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t feel that way anymore, thanks to Mr. Jenkins.\u00a0 It was an accident, neither one of us was to blame, I know that now, in here,\u201d answered Joe as he tapped his chest over his heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right son, and remember, Rocky played a part in his own death.\u00a0 He did something that he knew he wasn\u2019t very good at doing.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t had enough practice but he chose to do something foolish, like jumping into water that he was not totally familiar with,\u201d Ben explained.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon, I\u2019m glad that you understand now.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad that Mr. Jenkins was there, to help you and to explain why he said what he did, and most importantly, impressed upon you how wrong he was by doing so.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe asked me to drop by to visit with him sometime\u2026but I\u2019m not sure if I can do that, at least not yet,\u201d Joe said softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He lifted his head slightly and smiled at his father.\u00a0 \u201cI told him I\u2019d probably be grounded until I turned eighteen, for drinking all your brandy and coming home with a hangover.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s face split open with a happy smile, overjoyed to see and hear his son giggling again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re probably right young man\u2026I\u2019d almost forgotten about the brandy,\u201d laughed Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGreat\u2026me and my big mouth,\u201d muttered Joe, which caused his father to laugh again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey, what\u2019s so funny?\u201d asked Hoss as he and Adam joined their father and brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhew\u2026you been drinking, Little Brother?\u201d quizzed Adam as he sniffed the stale brandy that lingered on Joe\u2019s clothing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss laughed and Joe pressed his hand to his forehead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh\u2026not so loud, my head feels like someone hit it with a hammer,\u201d Joe moaned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s called a hangover, buddy,\u201d smiled Adam.\u00a0 \u201cIt happens when you drink too much and can\u2019t hold your\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow would you know?\u201d his father suddenly surprised his oldest son by asking.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHmm\u2026me?\u00a0 Well\u2026hmm\u2026you see, Pa\u2026it\u2026happened to me\u2026but only once\u2026\u201d Adam stammered.\u00a0 \u201cHmm\u2026I got chores to do\u2026see ya little buddy,\u201d Adam called as he scampered off to the barn, leaving his family laughing loudly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome on son, you best get to bed and sleep it off.\u00a0 You can sleep as long as you like…and when you wake up\u2026we will discuss my empty brandy decanters and why your head hurts so badly,\u201d Ben said in a stern voice, though it took all his will power to keep the smile off his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYessir\u2026\u201d Joe sputtered as he turned and headed off to his room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben watched his son go.\u00a0 He glanced at Hoss and saw that he was watching Joe as well.\u00a0 Ben moved to place a hand on the massive shoulder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s good to have him back,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0 The love that he felt for his youngest son made his voice thick with emotion and he swallowed several times to clear his throat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa\u2026it\u2019s good, I\u2019ve missed my little brother.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss wiped away the lone tear that rolled down his pudgy face and smiled at his father.\u00a0 \u201cYa gonna give him a thrashin\u2019 for getting\u2019 drunk?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben laughed, \u201cNo, but I think I\u2019ll keep him home\u2026with me\u2026until he turns eighteen!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben slowly walked to the front door, leaving Hoss scratching his head and pondering the meaning to his words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

THE END<\/strong><\/p>\n

July 2003<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 When a day of fun turns into tragedy and Little Joe is held to blame, Joe must now learn to live with the death of his new friend. Help comes from the one person least suspected of caring about Joe’s feelings. \u00a0<\/p>\n

Rated PG \u00a0WC 14,600<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9052,"featured_media":2510,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[14,15,17,16],"class_list":["post-12201","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-ben","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2483,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Alias-Joe-Cartwright.jpg?fit=460%2C380&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6617,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6617","url_meta":{"origin":12201,"position":0},"title":"August Moon (by Rider)","author":"Rider","date":"May 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Little Joe Cartwright celebrates his 21st birthday with his family on the Ponderosa Ranch. 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Rating: K+\u00a0 Word Count: 667","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6768,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6768","url_meta":{"origin":12201,"position":4},"title":"A Deadly Day (by rosecartwright)","author":"rosecartwright","date":"November 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Joe is home sick, but things go downhill for this young Cartwright. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (635 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/2-joe.jpg?fit=237%2C221&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7580,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7580","url_meta":{"origin":12201,"position":5},"title":"The Wheelchair (by DJK)","author":"DJK","date":"May 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Years later Adam\u2019s wheelchair from \u201cThe Triangle\u201d comes out of the attic. 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