{"id":12203,"date":"2003-11-01T22:25:09","date_gmt":"2003-11-02T03:25:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12203"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:07:38","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:07:38","slug":"through-the-valley-of-the-shadow-of-death-by-debbieb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12203","title":{"rendered":"Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death (by DebbieB)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/b> Has God ever tested your faith?\u00a0 How do you think you scored?\u00a0 Ben’s faith is tested to the utmost when Joe is crushed by a fallen horse and the only way to relieve his suffering is for Ben to give his son back to God.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rated G \u00a0WC 6500<\/span><\/p>\n

Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s dying, Ben, there\u2019s just no easy way to say it.<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry\u2026I\u2019ve done all I can for him, and I believe he\u2019s given it his all as well, but he\u2019s tired, Ben\u2026and in so much pain.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The physician had to turn away from the man standing before him.\u00a0 Ben Cartwright stood with his head bowed low, tears slowly making their way down his weather-worn face to pause momentarily at the end of his chin before releasing themselves to drip onto the toes of his boots.\u00a0 Paul watched as the grieving father\u2019s body began to tremble and from deep within the man, Paul could hear the rumbling that began low and built in volume as his sobs forced his grief to spew forth into a blood curdling scream.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNOOOOO!\u201d shrieked Ben, \u201cNOOO!\u201d he sobbed once more before staggering toward the steps.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gripping tightly to the railing, Ben stopped at the foot of the staircase and turned around, facing the physician who had tended to his family\u2019s aliments for many years.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s not going to die!\u201d he stated in a demanding voice.\u00a0 \u201cDo you understand me?\u00a0 Joseph is not a quitter, I will not allow him to die!\u201d stormed Ben in an angry voice, all the while waving a fist in the air.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was snapped to attention by his father\u2019s harsh words and he moved to approach his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026you\u2019re not God\u2026you can\u2019t allow or disallow Joe to die, or give him the will to live for that matter,\u201d said Adam, his voice shaky.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The news that his youngest brother was dying had taken him completely by surprise, though he knew that Joe\u2019s life lay in the balance, he had been unaware that his brother had completely given up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned his wrath on his oldest son.\u00a0 The pink color of his lips turned white and his jaw could be seen tightening.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you dare speak to me in that tone, young man.\u00a0 I meant what I said\u2026Joseph is not going to die\u2026I won\u2019t let him!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben jerked himself around and stomped up the stairs, leaving his two sons and the doctor staring in wide-eyed disbelief at one another.\u00a0 Minutes later, the slamming of the door jarred the windows in the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss swallowed, and brushed his thick fingers through is thinning hair.\u00a0 Adam pinched the bridge of his nose and Paul Martin, who at this minute, was hating his job, lowered himself into his friend\u2019s old red leather chair.\u00a0 For several long minutes, the trio remained silent, lost in their own thoughts and fears, worry for both father and brother causing them to choke on their unvoiced sorrow and dread of what the next few hours might bring to the family.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam positioned himself on the arm of his chair and glanced first at his brother and then at the doctor.\u00a0 He noted the tear filled eyes of his sibling and knew that Hoss was fighting back the tears that threatened to spill forth.\u00a0 The family physician appeared tired and worn from the many nights that he stood vigil over the young man in the upstairs room.\u00a0 Adam, his own eyes beginning to cloud, watched as Paul\u2019s eyelids began to droop and seconds later, the doctor slipped into dreamland and dozed comfortably in Ben\u2019s chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam glanced up, seeing that Hoss had moved to stand in front of him.\u00a0 His words were lodged in the back of his throat rendering him unable to utter a sound.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019d ya reckon will happen to Pa\u2026if\u2019n Joe\u2026Joe\u2026well, ya know?\u201d stammered the big man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam could only shake his head, his own lips pinched tightly to form a straight, taunt line across his face.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Adam managed to answer in a low whispered voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019ll probably kill him as well, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam heard the deep moan that escaped his brother\u2019s lips, and looked up to see that the tears had finally flooded the blue hue of Hoss\u2019 eyes and spilled over their rims.\u00a0 Adam stood to his feet; his heart ripped into shreds for the sorrow that had branded his middle brother\u2019s facial expressions.\u00a0 He heard the sobs that tore forth and stood witness to the massive body as it trembled with deep seeded grief.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss\u2026don\u2019t\u2026please\u2026\u201d stammered Adam as he gripped his brother\u2019s massive shoulders with hands that shook.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t do this\u2026without you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss was shaking his head from side to side; his young face had twisted into tormented distortions that left his features almost grotesque in its appearance.\u00a0 Hoss tossed back his head; his eyes squeezed tightly shut and his fists balled into rock hard knots.\u00a0 He looked as if he were about ready to blow up, for his face had turned beat red.\u00a0 Suddenly, his heart-wrenching wail shattered the unsettled silence of the great room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul jumped to his feet, startled awake by the loud, uncontrollable sobbing of the man across from him.\u00a0 Adam too, had been shaken by his brother\u2019s sudden breakdown and he clasped tightly to his brother and pulled the weeping man into his arms.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam felt his throat swell with emotion as he held Hoss to his chest.\u00a0 From across the room, Paul watched, unable to find words that would console the distraught man.\u00a0 He glanced at Adam\u2019s face and saw that the elder son had tears as well that ran freely down his own cheeks, though his weeping was more controlled, more reserved than that of his younger brother\u2019s.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For several minutes the two brothers clung tightly to one another, until at last, Hoss pulled free of the arms that held him.\u00a0 He pulled, from his back pocket, a bright red handkerchief and blew his nose with great force.\u00a0 When he finished, he looked with reddened eyes and tear strained cheeks, at his older brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry\u2026Adam,\u201d he stammered.\u00a0 \u201cI reckon, I jist lost it there, for a moment,\u201d he sniffed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s alright, Hoss\u2026I\u2026I did too,\u201d answered Adam.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s to be expected, brother\u2026we stand to lose a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHalf our family.\u00a0 I reckon Pa won\u2019t be much a mind to go on livin\u2019, if\u2019n Joe don\u2019t\u2026make it,\u201d Hoss muttered as he sat down on the settee.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cProbably not\u2026you know as well as I do, how much he loves that boy,\u201d Adam said, moving to poke at the dying embers in the fireplace.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think I\u2019ll go up and check on Joe\u2026and your father,\u201d Paul said, moving to the stairs.\u00a0 He paused and turned slowly around to face the brothers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss\u2026Adam\u2026\u201d he began.\u00a0 His soft voice drew the brothers\u2019 attention to the physician.\u00a0 \u201cI just want you both to know\u2026Joe doesn\u2019t blame either of you for what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 blue eyes shifted directly to Adam\u2019s hazel eyes and the two stared at one another without muttering a word.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe told me as much,\u201d continued the doctor.\u00a0 \u201cHe asked that I tell you both not to fret yourselves none, about what happened.\u00a0 It was an accident, and he knows that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe said as much?\u201d inquired Adam, looking again in Hoss\u2019 direction.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul forced a smile, hoping that it might bring a smidgen of comfort to the pair.\u00a0 Paul knew that Adam and Hoss both blamed themselves in part for what had happened to their younger brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They had bet the youngest member of the family that he could not ride the wild sorrel stallion that the three of them had captured the week before and who, since his capture, had tossed every cowboy on the ranch on their behinds.\u00a0 Joe had laughed heartily at his brothers and taking their bets had climbed onto the stallion\u2019s back.\u00a0 The ride had lasted only about the length of time that it took ole Cyclone, as the boys had dubbed the horse, to twist around in a high bucking circle and tossing Joe into the air.\u00a0 When Joe hit the ground with a resounding thud, having fallen directly under the stallion\u2019s hooves, the horse had tried to avoid trampling the body beneath him.\u00a0 But Cyclone moved in one direction and Joe had tried to roll away, but ended up going where the horse\u2019s sharp hooves had proved deadly.\u00a0 The sharp snapping of bones, the ear-piercing screams and the frightened snorting of the stallion as he tumbled to the ground, crushing the boy beneath him, had brought waves of fear and remorse to the two older brothers who witnessed the event.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe said not to blame yourselves,\u201d Paul repeated and then turned to ascend the stairs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss gulped and moved closer to Adam.\u00a0 Adam tried to turn his head; Hoss\u2019 piercing blue eyes were fixed on his older brother\u2019s face and the elder of the two could not bring himself to meet his brother\u2019s piercing look.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t say it, Hoss\u2026regardless of the fact that Joe don\u2019t blame me\u2026I blame me.\u00a0 I\u2019m the fool that made the dare and then I was stupid enough to offer him a five dollar bet; and we both know, Joe can\u2019t say no to a dare or a bet,\u201d groaned Adam.\u00a0 He raised his head at last, looking directly into Hoss\u2019 dense blue eyes.\u00a0 \u201cAnd now, for a five dollar bet, my kid brother will most likely die!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before Hoss could make an argument, Adam stood quickly to his feet and started to the front door.\u00a0 Hat in hand, he paused, looking back at the sad face of his middle brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going for a ride, I\u2019ll be up at the lake\u2026if things change and you need me,\u201d he said silently as he went out the door, closing it softly behind him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben muttered in a low, gentle voice.\u00a0 \u201cCan you hear me, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat as close to the bed as he could get with the chair that he had pulled along side.\u00a0 He gazed into the boy\u2019s face, studying his son\u2019s features for several long moments.\u00a0 It was easy to see that Joe was lost within the boundaries of a deep, drug induced slumber.\u00a0 His breathing was regular and so shallow that Ben had to stare for several minutes at his son\u2019s chest to see the slight rise and fall of the boy\u2019s breaths.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s face was void of color, except for the dark bruises that marred his features.\u00a0 The pressure of his hand to the boy\u2019s brow, told Ben that Joe\u2019s fever was still elevated and he made short work of the covers, moving them around so that they tucked neatly along Joe\u2019s body in an attempt to keep the boy warm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben brushed his fingers tenderly through the wayward curls that were dampened from where he had gently washed Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 The boy remained motionless, unaware of the loving hands that tended to his needs or of the tears that had rolled gently down the front of his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease\u2026Joseph\u2026try, son\u2026you can\u2019t give up.\u00a0 I know that you\u2019re hurting\u2026but you can overcome the pain\u2026please, Joe\u2026I\u2026I can\u2019t lose you,\u201d sobbed Ben as he lowered his face to the side of Joe\u2019s and wept.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben remained as such for several long minutes, fighting to control the grief that had overcome him.\u00a0 His head had begun to hurt and he felt the knots in his stomach tighten, leaving him feeling as if he might not be able to keep down his supper, not that he had been able to eat, he had only picked at what someone else had piled onto his plate for him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The distraught father hauled himself up from the chair in which he sat and moved to the washstand where he poured fresh water into the basin and washed the remnants of tears from his face.\u00a0 As he dried off, he stopped and gazed at the reflection of himself that stared back at him from the mirror on the stand.\u00a0 Ben leaned forward, getting a closer look and then groaned softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI look like hell,\u201d he whispered to himself.\u00a0 \u201cI could use a shave, too,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben brushed his hand down the side of his face, feeling the bristles that had sprung up on his cheeks.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t stop the long sigh that escaped passed his lips; he was tired, worn completely out.\u00a0 When he looked across the room at his son lying in the bed, he felt a surge sweep through his body and he determined that he\u2019d force himself to keep going.\u00a0 His son needed him, and until Joe could actually open his eyes and looked at him, Ben vowed to remain by the boy\u2019s side and be there\u2026just in case\u2026in case Joe asked for him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben tossed the towel onto the table and returned to the bed.\u00a0 Joe had moved slightly, trying to find a comfortable position where his broken bones might rest easier, surmised Ben as he took his place next to the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had moved his hand from beneath the blankets and now it rested along his side.\u00a0 Ben couldn\u2019t refrain from picking it up and tenderly holding it within his larger one.\u00a0 Unconsciously, Ben\u2019s fingers gently caressed the back of Joe\u2019s hand.\u00a0 There was a large, dark bruise that covered the tops of the slender fingers and stood out from the others and Ben briefly wondered how the bruise came to be where it was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He knew that Joe\u2019s body was covered with bruises.\u00a0 The fall from the horse alone, had been enough to bruise any broncobuster worth his salts.\u00a0 The condition of his son\u2019s body, shortly after being trampled and then nearly crushed to death by the weight of the horse, had turned his son\u2019s flesh several distinct shades of black and blue.\u00a0 Bones had snapped in both of Joe\u2019s legs, his right arm had been broken in two places, he suffered from a severe blow to his chest cavity, breaking four or five of his ribs when the horse landed on top of him.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s head had been cut, probably from the saddle when the horse rolled and the doctor had determined that the boy had also suffered a bad concussion as well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben fought the urge to scream out.\u00a0 The picture of his son, lying sprawled in the dust, blood dripping from his nose and mouth and the sounds of his piteous cries were still vivid in his mind.\u00a0 Adam, then Hoss, had been the first ones to reach the wounded lad, and by the time Ben had arrived, Joe was just beginning to slip into an unconscious state of mind.\u00a0 He had been carefully carried to his room, stripped and placed into his bed.\u00a0 Ben, with his older sons\u2019 help had bathed Joe and cared for his injuries as best they could until the doctor had arrived.\u00a0 By that time, Joe had regained consciousness, though not for long.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben remembered the frightened look he had seen in the emerald eyes, and suddenly felt his own filling with tears.\u00a0 He brushed them away and returned to his musings.\u00a0 Joe had tried to keep from crying out, but the pain that had consumed his body, had been too much for the boy to restrain himself.\u00a0 His outbursts ripped at the hearts and souls of his family.\u00a0 The sight of Joe thrashing about in the bed, begging for the doctor to stop the hurting, and then finally crying out in anguish for his father, had been nearly more than the family could stand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For one of the few times in his life, Ben had felt completely useless to help his son.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s injuries were far beyond his knowledge and Ben had had to rely on his old friend, the doctor, to ease Joe\u2019s suffering.\u00a0 When Paul had entered the room and ordered everyone out, Ben refused to leave.\u00a0 In spite of the physician\u2019s constant demands, Ben had stayed and watched\u2026from the sidelines, how Paul had pieced together his son\u2019s broken bones, and stitched the many cuts and the large gash on Joe\u2019s head.\u00a0 He had suffered through his own kind of pain, his own suffering; one that only a father watching his dying son fighting for his life could feel…the helplessness of being unable of doing a thing, except stand back and watch, and wait and pray.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben had been doing a lot of that over the last few days.\u00a0 How long had it been\u2026three, maybe four days now that Joe had been fighting for his life? Ben shook his head to clear away the cobwebs for it seemed as if time had stopped and the days had run together and the nights were endless and still there was no change.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s cries had been such that Paul felt he should increase the amount of morphine he was already giving his patient, in order that Joe might be more comfortable.\u00a0 Now, with the dosage being at the highest possible level, there was nothing more that could be done, except for praying.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben bowed his head, closing his eyes tightly and still clinging to his son\u2019s hand, began praying in a soft whispered tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At the doorway, Paul was stopped in his tracks, overhearing the muffled whispering coming from within the room.\u00a0 Only the soft glow from the light lit the room.\u00a0 Shadows danced along the walls, uncaring that the darkest shadow, called death, waited nearby.\u00a0 Paul could hear the rattle that hinted to the grim reaper, that time was drawing close.\u00a0 The physician felt the shudder as a chilly wave of uncertainty pulsated through his veins.\u00a0 Paul stepped into the room, Ben had fallen silent and it appeared to the compassionate doctor that his friend had finally given in to his weariness and had fallen to sleep.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silently, Paul made his way over to his patient.\u00a0 Ben had leaned against the back of the chair and had indeed fallen to sleep, his hand clinging gently to that of his son\u2019s. Pulling the extra blanket from the foot of the bed, Paul carefully spread it over the sleeping man.\u00a0 When he finished, he turned to the boy in the bed.\u00a0 Joe had not moved other than removing his arm from under the blanket.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul pressed his hand to Joe\u2019s brow worried that the boy\u2019s fever had not started to come down. He pulled back the blanket and inspected the wraps he had placed around Joe\u2019s chest to keep the broken ribs from moving, and the plaster casts he had applied to Joe\u2019s broken arm and then further raised the blanket, checking on the ones on both legs.\u00a0 When he finished, the doctor tucked the blanket in, around Joe\u2019s body.\u00a0 The signs were all there, life was ebbing further and further away, and Paul guessed that soon life as it were known, would be no more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul crossed the room and took a seat in the other chair.\u00a0 He would stay close tonight rather than napping in the spare room downstairs.\u00a0 He sensed that before the evening was over, things would be forever changed in the Cartwright household and that perhaps his services would be needed in a different manner than from what they had been in previous nights.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul pressed his head against the back of the chair, and not meaning too, fell into a dreamless sleep.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The near inaudible sound jarred Adam from his thoughts and he quickly turned from the window where he had been standing, staring out into the blackness of night, and moved to the side of the bed.\u00a0 He leaned down surprised to see that Joe\u2019s eyelids were fluttering.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d he said, nudging Ben from his nap.\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2019s trying to wake up.\u201d\u00a0 His voice held a mixture of hope as well as fear.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben cooed as he placed himself on the edge of the bed, next to his son.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s it son, open your eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben glanced around the room at the men who had joined him.\u00a0 He noted the glimmer of hopefulness on Hoss\u2019 face and the expectant look in his oldest son\u2019s eyes and then glanced again at Joe, who had begun to moan softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here Joseph.\u00a0 Your brothers are here as well,\u201d Ben explained.\u00a0 \u201cCan you open your eyes?\u201d\u00a0 The question sounded more like a plea to those that heard it rather than the question it was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul had centered himself on the opposite side of the bed and was checking his patient\u2019s pulse.\u00a0 Ben glanced in that direction and up at Paul\u2019s face.\u00a0 He need not ask, he could see the answer written in the physician\u2019s expression.\u00a0 Joe was getting weaker.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026please\u2026hold\u2026me,\u201d the jumbled words finally made sense and Ben quickly did as his son had asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The others helped Ben to move Joe enough so that he could get behind the boy and then hold Joe firmly, yet with care, in his arms.\u00a0 Ben felt Joe nuzzle his body against the warmth of his father\u2019s and the closeness of having his dying son embraced within the folds of his arms, caused Ben\u2019s eyes to water.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCold\u2026so\u2026cold,\u201d murmured Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam grabbed the blanket that had been used by his father and added it to the ones already covering his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHere Joe, here\u2019s another blanket,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was finding it hard to speak, for the emotion of watching his brother, who had begun to shiver and then struggle for each breath that he took, was overwhelming.\u00a0 Adam hated seeing Joe in such a condition.\u00a0The boy was known for his zest of life, and to see that zest die and his brother\u2019s life dwindling slowly away, ripped the heart out of the boy\u2019s oldest brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes sought Adam\u2019s and without voicing their fears aloud to one another, each knew what the other was feeling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMama\u2026\u201d Joe struggled with his words.\u00a0 \u201cWant\u2026to\u2026hold\u2026mama\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss, who stood close by, scratched his head.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s he meanin?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d whispered Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s fingers clutched the front of his father\u2019s shirt and somehow Joe managed to open his eyes.\u00a0 His other hand he moved over his head, and to Adam, who watched, it appeared that Joe was trying to point to something.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMama\u2026\u201d The sound was so muffled that it appeared non-existent and the others were not so sure that they had heard the word.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe picture\u2026he wants his mother\u2019s picture,\u201d Adam said suddenly as he reached for the miniature cameo photo that rested on the table next to his brother\u2019s bed.\u00a0 Quickly he placed it in his brother\u2019s hand, folding Joe\u2019s fingers over the tiny frame.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHere Joe, here\u2019s your mama.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unexpectedly, Adam\u2019s eyes filled with tears.\u00a0 The single act of touching his brother\u2019s hand and feeling the coldness therein had confirmed his worst fear\u2026his brother\u2019s time was drawing near.\u00a0 He quickly removed himself from the group and walked out into the hallway and remained until he could bring his emotions under control.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben could feel the rapid pounding of his heart deep within his chest.\u00a0 His rising fear and growing grief, he tried to keep at bay, knowing that soon, he\u2019d not be able to stop them from surfacing.\u00a0 But for now, the last thing he wanted was to allow his youngest son to see the sorrow that Ben was sure, showed on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyelids fluttered once more and he eased opened his eyes.\u00a0 They frantically searched the space above his head for his father\u2019s face.\u00a0 Tiny droplets of water beaded over the green hue that colored the boy\u2019s eyes and when he blinked, they rolled haphazardly down from the corners.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m\u2026sorry\u2026Pa,\u201d Joe whispered.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2026I\u2019m\u2026just\u2026so\u2026tired.\u201d\u00a0 The words were forced from the back of his throat, draining his body with the effort that it took for him to speak.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve nothing to be sorry for sweetheart,\u201d Ben whispered in return.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve tried your best\u2026and it\u2019s\u2026it\u2019s\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A sob caught in his throat and Ben couldn\u2019t say the word, nor could he speak the words that he knew in his heart that his son needed to hear.\u00a0 Ben could not force himself to tell Joe that it was okay, that he need not fight any longer, that it was\u2026was\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTell him, Pa!\u201d Adam said aloud.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sharpness of his tone drew everyone\u2019s attention to the grief stricken young man standing at the foot of the bed.\u00a0 All eyes stared at Adam as he gripped the footboard with his strong fingers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFor God\u2019s sake tell him it\u2019s okay\u2026he needs to hear it from you Pa.\u00a0 He needs to know that you understand and\u2026\u201d sobbed Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u201d Ben practically shouted as he hugged Joe closer to him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss muffled a sob and turned his head away to hide his own tears and to avoid looking at the grief on both his father and older brother\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll do no such of a thing,\u201d Ben growled at Adam.\u00a0 Ben glanced down at Joe, who lay nestled in his arms.\u00a0 The boy\u2019s eyes were still opened and had fixed themselves on his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d Ben said, \u201cI want you to keep trying, son.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s hard and I know that you are in a lot of pain, but Joseph\u2026please\u2026\u201d Ben glanced around the room and pinching his lips tightly, looked down at Joe.\u00a0\u201cPlease don\u2019t give up\u2026I can\u2019t bear the thoughts of losing you, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He heard the three gasps from the others and when he looked up at them, they were all staring at him as if they could not believe what they had just heard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s true,\u201d Ben whispered to them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s selfish, Pa\u2026and you know it!\u201d snapped Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t care?\u00a0 What about him?\u201d Adam pointed at his brother who had closed his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cJust how much more suffering do you want him to endure, before you\u2019re willing to let him go?\u00a0 For God\u2019s sake, Pa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s enough, Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Adam\u2026please\u2026don\u2019t fight,\u201d muttered Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cJoe don\u2019t need to hear such talk\u2026not now,\u201d pleaded Hoss, giving a sorrowful look at each.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath and nodded his head in agreement.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right Hoss.\u00a0 Adam, I\u2019m sorry son,\u201d Ben said, looking up to find his elder son walking out of the room.\u00a0 Ben glanced up at the doctor who had remained silent during the confrontation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo I\u2019m selfish\u2026\u201d Ben murmured and then turned from looking at his old friend.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He did feel guilty for not telling Joe that it was okay, that he knew that Joe had fought bravely in an attempt to overcome the pain and the injuries.\u00a0 Ben knew in his heart that the longer Joe lingered, the more pain he was forced to endure, but still, Ben\u2019s heart wasn\u2019t ready just yet to let go of the boy that he loved more than his own life.\u00a0 God had not finished His job as of yet\u2026for Ben\u2019s heart still felt the fear of giving his son back to God.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The night lingered on as Ben listened with a troubled heart to the moans and groans that continued to slip past his son\u2019s lips.\u00a0 The boy\u2019s thrashing about on the bed as the pain converged on his body and the tiny tears that seeped from beneath lowered lashes, all tugged at the heartstrings of the man who stood vigil over the dying boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh\u2026please\u2026\u201d Joe cried out in his delirium as he drew in deeply to fill his lungs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s head tossed back and forth on the sweat soaked pillow.\u00a0 His cries were softly voiced, his eyes opened occasionally, but the world around him was unseen for his injuries had taken control of his world and nothing that his father or the doctor could do now, could bring comfort to his tormented body.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben watched with heavy heart.\u00a0 Never had he felt so discouraged, or helpless.\u00a0 He sighed deeply, he had no one to turn too, even the doctor had given up for the pain medication no longer brought the relief that his son needed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Briefly, Ben had forgotten that there was a higher source, a Supreme Being that he could turn too.\u00a0 Ben was deeply lost in his own grief, his own pain, and the grief and pain had dulled his thinking and had been cause for his failing faith in that Supreme Being.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOHHHH\u00a0 GOD\u2026PLEASE!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The words, muddled by the suffering and fever that had consumed his body, slipped softly from Joe\u2019s mouth as his body arched in pain.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben dropped to his knees beside the bed, taking Joe\u2019s hand in his two.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph?\u201d he whispered, but received no response.\u00a0 Joe had pinched his eyes tightly shut and seemed to have fallen into unconsciousness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The tears swelled in the dark ebony eyes and spilled over onto the blanket that covered his son.\u00a0 Ben wept softly for several long minutes.\u00a0 His son\u2019s words had reached into his troubled soul and reminded the father that there was another Father who had once felt as he was now feeling.\u00a0 Quietly, Ben began to pray.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nearing the end of his prayer, Ben glanced over at his son, seeing the agony that he suffered, and knowing that Joe had fought long and hard and that now it was up to him to let his son go.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Swallowing hard, Ben muttered, \u201cNot my will, but thine, oh Lord, be done.\u201d Ben had at last, surrendered his son to God.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A feeling of peace washed over the troubled man, easing his spirit in a way that he had not expected.\u00a0 The feeling surprised Ben Cartwright.\u00a0 He raised up and placed himself on the edge of the bed, next to his son.\u00a0Ben leaned down and kissed Joe\u2019s cheek, brushing his fingers through the mass of thick curls.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben whispered when he could at last find his voice.\u00a0 \u201cI love you, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben swallowed again.\u00a0 Saying goodbye was never easy, letting go, even harder.\u00a0 But in a matter of a few seconds, and with a muttered request, Ben\u2019s faith had been re-established and he had trusted that God would be merciful to his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know you\u2019ve tried your best, and I know you\u2019re tired\u2026it\u2019s okay, Joe, I\u2019m proud of you.\u00a0 It\u2019s time for you to rest, son\u2026you don\u2019t have to keep on trying\u2026I understand, now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben felt the pressure of hands on his shoulders and was surprised when he turned and saw Adam and Hoss standing silently behind him.\u00a0 Both had tears in their eyes, but they each gave their father a small smile and a nod of their heads.\u00a0 Each understood what it had taken for their father to give his youngest son the release that was needed to relieve his suffering.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben had been dozing in the chair next to the bed.\u00a0 His head rested on the side of the bed, for he had refused to leave his son\u2019s side.\u00a0 In the chair across the room, Hoss snored softly.\u00a0 Adam stood at the window, watching the rise of the morning sun as it poked above the high mountain peaks.\u00a0 It was going to be a glorious day, but not one in the household was aware of that fact as of yet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned his head to one side, his eyes fluttered and then opened.\u00a0 The first thing that he saw, was his father\u2019s form, slumped forward and the silver mass of hair resting on the bed next to him.\u00a0 His tired lips formed a smile and with his left arm, he moved his hand until his fingers brushed lightly at his father\u2019s head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Instantly, the tender touch brought sudden awareness to the sleeping man.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s eyes sought his son\u2019s face, and when he saw that Joe\u2019s eyes were opened and that the boy worn a slight smile on his face, Ben smiled broadly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u201d he cried.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned from the window, surprised to see his father bending over his brother.\u00a0 Quickly he rushed to the bedside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d he questioned, fear filling every fiber of his being.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben glanced up, smiling at his oldest son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s alright, Adam, Joe\u2019s awake,\u201d beamed Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHowdy, big brother,\u201d Joe said in a strained voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam laughed lightly and sat down on the edge of the bed, on the opposite side from where his father stood.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHello yourself,\u201d teased Adam.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t you know, you gave us quite a scare!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d Joe grinned weakly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned to his father, his smiled faded.\u00a0 \u201cI am sorry, Pa\u2026I didn\u2019t mean to worry you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben pushed his lips into a smile as he caressed his son\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s alright son\u2026I\u2026I\u2026\u201d Ben gulped.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m glad that you\u2019re better now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss had awakened and stood smiling, at the foot of the bed.\u00a0 \u201cHi ya, Punkin,\u201d he grinned, pleased to see his brother awake and talking with the family.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHi yourself, ya big galoot,\u201d Joe teased.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The doctor wandered into the room then, and stopped, gazing at the scene before him.\u00a0 \u201cWell, now\u2026what do we have here?\u201d he said merrily as he moved to the side of the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMornin\u2019 doc,\u201d grinned Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMornin\u2019 doc\u2026is that all you have to say for yourself young man\u2026after what you have put the four of us through?\u201d\u00a0 Paul smiled and turned to Ben.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think this young man is too old yet for a trip to the woodshed, Ben, once he\u2019s on his feet again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAw\u2026come on Doc\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The small circle of men, laughed.\u00a0 The relief that Joe had somehow managed to defy death\u2019s request, showed on each tired face that stood over him, smiling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen, I need to examine my patient, why don\u2019t you three go downstairs and have some breakfast?\u201d Paul suggested as he herded the others from the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded his head, but hesitated before moving from his spot on the bed.\u00a0 The others filed quietly out into the hall.\u00a0 Ben smiled down at Joe, taking Joe\u2019s hand in his.\u00a0 His throat grew thick with emotion and when he tried to speak, his words came out strained.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWelcome, back Joseph,\u201d he whispered.\u00a0 \u201cI thought for a while that I was going to lose you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes filled with tears, but he willed them away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to give up, Pa\u2026but something wouldn\u2019t let me.\u00a0 I kept trying to move closer to the bright light, but a voice kept telling me to turn back\u2026that it wasn\u2019t time yet.\u00a0 I remember hearing my voice, telling the light that I was tired, and that I needed the warmth of the light to stop my pain, but it kept repeating the same words over and over. \u2018Go back\u2026for it is not yet time\u2019.\u00a0 That\u2019s what the voice in the light kept saying.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe fixed his eyes on his father\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cAnd then I heard you praying\u2026you told God\u2026\u2019not my will, but Thine be done\u2019\u2026and right then, all the pain went away, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure what happened, but I felt myself moving further and further from the light and closer and closer to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben felt the tears fill his own eyes, and when he blinked, a single tear slipped from the corner of one eye.\u00a0 He leaned down, brushing his lips across Joe\u2019s brow.\u00a0 When he raised up, he smiled down at his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGod moves in mysterious ways, Son.\u00a0 I can\u2019t explain exactly what happened, but I am thankful that God sent you back to us.\u00a0 I suppose it was a test\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked perplexed.\u00a0 \u201cA test?\u00a0 What kind of test\u2026and a test for who?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben pressed his lips together; he seemed to be thinking.\u00a0 After a short paused, he smiled at his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cA test of faith, Joseph\u2026my faith.\u00a0 You see, Adam said it best, when he told me that I was being selfish in not letting you go.\u00a0 But I wasn\u2019t ready to let you go\u2026I\u2026I\u2026couldn\u2019t face life without you, son.\u00a0 At that moment, I didn\u2019t have enough faith to believe that God would\u2026or could\u2026get me through the sorrow.\u00a0 It was only after hearing you plead with God to help you, that I understood that before God could help you\u2026I had to give you back to Him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled and brushed again at the wayward curls.\u00a0 \u201cI was the one walking through the valley of the shadow of death.\u00a0 I was the one that feared the evil\u2026death, loneliness without you, grief, sorrow\u2026I forgot that God was still with me and that His rod and staff would provide me with the comfort I needed, should you die.\u00a0 And until I remembered that, and put all my trust and faith in God, not just part of it, He couldn\u2019t help you\u2026because in God\u2019s eyes, I was still holding on to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know it\u2019s hard to understand sometimes, Joe, I don\u2019t fully understand it, but I do see, now, how God works. \u00a0He doesn\u2019t want just half our faith, but all of it.\u00a0 It\u2019s easy to trust God when things are going our way.\u00a0It\u2019s different when things go wrong, to depend on God and not ourselves\u2026and many times throughout our lives, we forget that.\u00a0 We forget that God is God, both in good times and in bad.\u00a0 We fail to remember that the God on the mountain is also God of the valley\u2026and that He is with us always.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben paused.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry son\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFor what, Pa?\u00a0 You don\u2019t have anything to be sorry for.\u00a0 Aren\u2019t you always telling us that we\u2019re only human?\u00a0 That\u2019s all you were doing\u2026being human\u2026being a father, fearful for his son\u2019s life.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t you teach us that even God feared for His son\u2019s life?\u00a0 And that even God had to give His own son up?\u00a0 Then if God feared for Jesus\u2019 life, why is it so wrong for Ben Cartwright to fear for one of his sons?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled broadly and patted Joe\u2019s cheek.\u00a0 \u201cIt isn\u2019t wrong son\u2026its only human, and even God understands that\u2026He\u2019s the one who made us, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDoes that mean you passed the test?\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose\u2026it did teach me a lesson though\u2026I was straddling the fence\u2026that\u2019s not what God wants\u2026we have to be on one side or the other\u2026however be it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe laughed softly.\u00a0 \u201cI have a feeling, Pa\u2026that you\u2019re on the right side of that fence!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf you two have finished, I\u2019d like to check my patient, now,\u201d laughed Paul Martin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe and Ben had forgotten that the physician was waiting to do just as he had stated and both laughed lightly.\u00a0 Ben rose from the bed, clinging still to Joe’s hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI love, son,\u201d he whispered before releasing Joe\u2019s hand so that he could leave.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s expression became serious and he swallowed the knot that had thickened his throat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know\u2026and I know how hard it was for you, last night.\u00a0 Thanks, Pa\u2026for having enough faith to entrust me to God.\u00a0 I love you, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

THE END<\/strong><\/p>\n

November 2003<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: Has God ever tested your faith?\u00a0 How do you think you scored?\u00a0 Ben’s faith is tested to the utmost when Joe is crushed by a fallen horse and the only way to relieve his suffering is for Ben to give his son back to God.<\/p>\n

Rated G \u00a0WC 6500<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9052,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23],"tags":[14,15,17,16],"class_list":["post-12203","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drama","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-ben","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2294,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":49277,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=49277","url_meta":{"origin":12203,"position":0},"title":"The Cartwright Family (by LindaBl)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"May 22, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Synopsis:\u00a0A cute new song about the Cartwrights Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 Words:\u00a0 270","rel":"","context":"In "Family"","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1008"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6768,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6768","url_meta":{"origin":12203,"position":1},"title":"A Deadly Day (by rosecartwright)","author":"rosecartwright","date":"November 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Joe is home sick, but things go downhill for this young Cartwright. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (635 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/2-joe.jpg?fit=237%2C221&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5454,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5454","url_meta":{"origin":12203,"position":2},"title":"Autumn’s Surprise (by deansgirl)","author":"deansgirl","date":"October 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Autumn is setting around the Ponderosa and with it comes a very dear and long awaited surprise.\u00a0 \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (1,180 words) Autumn Series, links to all the stories within the series are included.","rel":"","context":"In "Chaps and Spurs"","block_context":{"text":"Chaps and Spurs","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=39"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5347,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5347","url_meta":{"origin":12203,"position":3},"title":"A Quartet of Limericks (by Puchi Ann)","author":"Puchi Ann","date":"May 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Ben Cartwright reflects on his three sons in this quartet of limerick verses. Rated: K \u00a0(134 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=9"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1718,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1718","url_meta":{"origin":12203,"position":4},"title":"The Telegram (by BluewindFarm)","author":"BluewindFarm","date":"October 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Ben Cartwright receives an incomplete telegram.\u00a0 What is the message and who is it about?\u00a0 Rating:\u00a0 K \u00a0\u00a0(2,695 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Ben Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Ben Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1004"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/bonanza2.jpg?fit=720%2C475&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/bonanza2.jpg?fit=720%2C475&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/bonanza2.jpg?fit=720%2C475&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/bonanza2.jpg?fit=720%2C475&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2461,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2461","url_meta":{"origin":12203,"position":5},"title":"Trapped in Remorse (by Devonshire)","author":"Devonshire","date":"January 2, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0A WHN scene for the episode The Trap. Booth is encouraged by Ben to visit Joe, who is still recovering from the gunfight. Rated K+ (3,065 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/capture.png?fit=383%2C444&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12203","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/9052"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12203"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12203\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12203"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12203"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12203"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}