Summary:<\/b> Ben finds his two youngest sons doing nothing…and Adam and Hop Sing aren’t doing much either. He’s dumbfounded when he finds out just why they are doing nothing.<\/p>\n
Rated G \u00a0WC 1850<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Tweedle Dee Tweedle Dum<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cHoss,\u201d said Ben<\/strong> as he came from the house and stood behind his middle son.<\/p>\n Hoss was perched on a chair off the side porch, with his back to his father.\u00a0 Ben peeked over the big man\u2019s shoulder, wondering what Hoss was concentrating so hard on.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat on earth are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss glanced up at his father.\u00a0 His face wore a slight frown.<\/p>\n \u201cPa, can\u2019t ya see, I\u2019m twiddling my thumbs,\u201d Hoss said in an agitated tone.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, for heaven\u2019s sakes, Hoss, I can see THAT\u2026but why?\u201d Ben said, just as agitated and with a similar frown on his ruggedly handsome face.<\/p>\n For several moments, Hoss appeared to be thinking.\u00a0 His face was scrunched up tightly; the tip of his tongue was sticking out between his lips and his huge blue eyes were busy watching his thumbs move around and around in miniature circles.<\/p>\n Hoss glanced quickly up at his father and then back down at his fingers, as if implying that to take his eyes off the rotating thumbs would mean he might make a mistake.\u00a0 It was obvious to the curious father that his middle son was concentrating extremely hard on what he was doing\u2026but why, for heaven\u2019s sake was his grown son doing something so\u2026so\u2026childish?<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, WHY are you twiddling your thumbs?\u201d Ben asked a second time.<\/p>\n \u201cCause there ain\u2019t nothin\u2019 else to do, that\u2019s why,\u201d Hoss answered, his thumbs working around in circles as fast as Hoss could twirl them.<\/p>\n Ben rolled his eyes and sighed deeply.<\/p>\n \u201cSon, are you telling me that, here you live,\u201d Ben waved his arm about in the air, \u201camid all this\u2026the biggest ranch in the Nevada Territory, and you sit there twiddling your thumbs\u2026simply because you have nothing to do?\u201d<\/p>\n There remained a long pause in the conversation as Hoss continued to twiddle, obviously concentrating on the job.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d Hoss said flatly.<\/p>\n Ben pinched his eyes tightly together and shook his head, catching a movement off to his right side.\u00a0 He turned slightly and saw Hop Sing sitting in a chair, leaning back in a relaxing position.\u00a0 The family servant seemed undaunted by his boss having found him as such, doing nothing it appeared, but watching Hoss twiddling his thumbs.\u00a0 Ben placed his hands on his hips, his scowl deepened.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd I suppose you don\u2019t have anything better to do either?\u201d Ben said with a frown.<\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2026Hop Sing have plenty to do\u2026I doing it now,\u201d Hop Sing grinned, his head bobbing up and down almost as fast as Hoss was making circles with his two beefy thumbs.<\/p>\n \u201cDare I ask?\u201d muttered Ben, \u201cjust what it is you are doing?\u2019<\/p>\n \u201cOh yes, Mr. Boss, you ask.\u00a0 Hop Sing watching Mr. Hoss twiddle thumbs, make sure he don\u2019t stop for very long time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut why Hop Sing?\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was strained and his dark eyes showed his doubt at his son and his servant\u2019s sanity.<\/p>\n \u201cMr. Hoss say\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss jerked his head around to glare at the family servant.\u00a0 Ben noted the deep scowl on his son\u2019s face and how quickly Hop Sing closed his mouth.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought ya was gonna fetch the mail, Pa?\u201d Hoss said, redirecting his attention to his father.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t ya reckon ya best be gettin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben had his own disgusted look about him as he turned to go.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t believe this,\u201d he muttered softly as he continued on his way across the yard.<\/p>\n In the barn, he found his youngest son, sitting idle on a bale of hay; Joe\u2019s back was propped against the stall wall, his knees were drawn up to his chest.\u00a0 When Ben moved closer, he saw that Joe was actually\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cNot you too!\u201d proclaimed Ben in total disbelief at what he was witnessing.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, hi Pa\u2026I didn\u2019t see you come in,\u201d smiled Joe.<\/p>\n Ben pointed to Joe\u2019s fingers.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, of course not, you were too busy,\u201d Ben said, shaking his head.<\/p>\n Ben moved into the stall where he stabled his mount and backed Buck out.\u00a0 He began saddling his horse.\u00a0 As he worked, Ben watched from the corner of his eye what Joe was doing.\u00a0 His curiosity was quickly getting the better of him.<\/p>\n When he had finished with his horse, he turned to his son, his hands firmly on his hips.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not going to be so foolish as to ask you what you are doing\u2026it\u2019s plain to see that you\u2019re\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTwiddling my thumbs,\u201d grinned Joe, finishing his father\u2019s sentence for him.<\/p>\n Joe looked up at his father and gave Ben a cheeky grin, making him look much as Ben remembered him as a young boy.\u00a0 But his father failed to smile.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I can see that\u2026but would you please explain to me, why you are\u2026twiddling your thumbs?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak, but his father cut him off.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd please don\u2019t say, \u2018because there\u2019s nothing else to do\u2019,\u201d Ben forewarned.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I wasn\u2019t going to say that, Pa,\u201d giggled Joe.\u00a0 \u201cNo sir, not me\u2026that\u2019s Hoss\u2019 excuse.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, well, I know that; he told me\u2026an impossibility I assure you\u2026but why you, Joe?\u00a0 I can almost\u2026almost mind you, understand Hoss wasting his time twiddling his thumbs\u2026but you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not wasting my time, Pa, honest,\u201d grinned Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re not?\u00a0 Then what are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n Again Joe giggled as he beamed happily up at his father, all the while working his thumbs in the same circular motion that Ben had seen his middle son do.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought you said you weren\u2019t going to ask that question\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJOSEPH!\u201d<\/p>\n The smile on Joe\u2019s face faded, but the glow remained in his bright, hazel eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss made a bet with me that he could twiddle longer than I could, so we\u2019re having a twiddling contest.\u00a0 Hop Sing is keeping his eye on Hoss, and big brother, over there,\u201d Joe nodded toward the back wall of the barn where Adam sat perched on a bale of hay, silently watching the proceedings.\u00a0 \u201cIs keeping his eye on me,\u201d beamed Joe.<\/p>\n Ben spun around stunned to see his oldest son watching the way his younger brother sat twisting his thumbs around and around.\u00a0 Adam looked as if he had nothing else in the whole wide world that needed his attention. He grinned at his father and tipped his hand to his hat.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam\u2026not you too!\u201d proclaimed Ben loudly.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry, Pa\u2026but I couldn\u2019t resist.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben led out a loud sigh and stepped over to face his eldest son, the one whom he had always believed to be the most level headed of the trio, now he was beginning to wonder.<\/p>\n \u201cThen please, would you explain these shenanigans to me?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam removed the blade of straw from between his lips and smiled in a sly way.<\/p>\n \u201cSure, Pa,\u201d he began, \u201cSee, Hoss bet Joe $50 dollars\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWHAT?\u201d shouted Ben, spinning around and glaring at his youngest offspring.<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s fingers moved in a steady rotation as he smiled up at his father.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay, really Pa\u2026it was Hop Sing\u2019s idea\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s mouth dropped opened; he pushed back his hat and scratched his head.<\/p>\n \u201cHop Sing?\u00a0 I knew it!\u00a0 He\u2019s in on this as well, isn\u2019t he?\u201d Ben asked in astonishment.<\/p>\n \u201cYep, you see, Hoss went into the kitchen and Hop Sing was baking cookies.\u00a0 You know Hoss, he couldn\u2019t resist, so he snatched a couple\u2026really he grabbed four or five and it made Hop Sing mad.\u00a0 He told Hoss to get out of the kitchen and find something to do with his sticky fingers other than to swipe his cookies.<\/p>\n So Hoss and I went outside and Hoss said, \u2018I bet I could just sit here all day and twiddle my fingers\u2019, so I said, \u2018I\u2019ll take that bet,\u2019 and Hoss said, \u2018okay, little brother you\u2019re on,\u2019 and I said \u2018fine, how much\u2019, and Hoss said, \u2018how\u2019s about $50,\u2019 and I said, \u2018okay, I\u2019ll cover that bet,\u2019 and then Hoss said\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cENOUGH!\u201d shouted Ben.\u00a0 \u201cMy head is pounding!\u201d he moaned.<\/p>\n Ben turned to go but paused and looked back at his two sons, shaking a long finger at both of them.<\/p>\n \u201cI will be gone most of the day\u2026when I get back\u2026this little bet of yours had better be settled, do you understand?\u201d growled Ben, rubbing his temple and thinking how childlike his grown sons could be at times.<\/p>\n \u201cOh sure, Pa\u2026it can\u2019t last much longer, Adam\u2019s going inside in a minute and get the tray of cookies.\u201d\u00a0 Joe snickered in a way that sounded somewhat wicked and the sound did not go unnoticed by his father.<\/p>\n \u201cTray of cookies\u2026what for?\u00a0 I thought Hop Sing said you boys couldn\u2019t have any.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, they\u2019re not for me\u2026they\u2019re for Hoss\u2026to tempt him with\u2026you see, I told Adam if he\u2019d help me win this bet, I\u2019d split the money with him.\u00a0 So he agreed to help me out, and he came up with the idea of tempting our cookie snatching brother, didn\u2019t ya, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure did, I\u2019m not above a little deception when it comes to $25,\u201d Adam admitted.\u00a0 \u201cSo in a minute, I\u2019m going to get a tray of fresh baked cookies and set them on the table close to Hoss\u2026\u201d Adam moved to sit next to Joe and grinned at the boy as if they shared a secret, \u201che won\u2019t last long\u2026\u201d laughed Adam, grinning up at his father in that know all expression that he was so famous for.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head in disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cBut isn\u2019t that cheating?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked back at his father, his emerald eyes large and round and filled with excitement.<\/p>\n \u201cShucks no, Pa\u2026I wouldn\u2019t cheat, you know that\u2026and neither would Adam.\u00a0 Gosh, I can\u2019t believe you could think that of us,\u201d Joe said, puckering up his face with a hurt expression that kept his father from seeing the smile tugging at his lips.<\/p>\n \u201cWell\u2026\u201d stammered Ben in frustration.<\/p>\n He glanced about at one and then the other.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to imply that you would actually cheat\u2026but if it\u2019s not cheating\u2026what would call it?\u201d he asked as he turned to Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cStrategy, Pa\u2026just like in wartime\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut this isn\u2019t war!\u201d Ben declared as he tossed his hands up in the air, exasperated.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Pa\u2026\u201d Joe said in a low voice.<\/p>\n He glanced toward the door and when he spoke his voice was low, as if he didn\u2019t want the enemy to overhear.<\/p>\n \u201cWith Hoss\u2026it is war\u2026part of the bet was that whomever wins the twiddling contest, gets the tray of cookies as well!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDear Lord,\u201d muttered Ben as he turned to lead his horse from the barn, \u201cI\u2019ve spent half my life raising my sons\u2026and what do they become?\u00a0 Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum!!<\/p>\n And just last week, they foiled a bank robbery attempt; captured two wanted men single-handedly, saved a damsel in distress and stopped a runaway stagecoach.\u00a0 I was so proud of them\u2026and now this\u2026where did I go wrong??\u201d<\/p>\n THE END<\/p>\n October 2004<\/p>\n <\/p>\n