Summary:<\/b> \u00a0Adam has finally found what he has spent a lifetime searching the world for.<\/p>\n
Rated G \u00a0 WC 3100<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The Last to Go<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n The elderly man<\/strong> pushed himself up from the old faded blue chair and steadied himself with his walking stick.\u00a0 When he glanced down at the chair, the impression of his behind was melted into the cushion.\u00a0 He snickered to himself, he could hardly believe that the old chair was the same chair of his youth.\u00a0 How long had that same piece of furniture sat in the exact spot, thirty or thirty-five years, possibly more he concluded.\u00a0 His eyes wandered across the room to the ancient leather chair and then slowly took in every stick of furniture in the large open rooms that had since his childhood, been his home.\u00a0 Nothing had changed, it had remained as it was when he first went away, to seek his own destiny and live his own life, far from the log house where he had grown up and found himself as a man.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Leaning heavily on his walking stick, Adam slowly turned until he stood at the bottom of the long staircase.\u00a0 Almost lovingly, his wrinkled and twisted fingers stroked the post and then the railing.\u00a0 He could remember being young, no more than ten when he had made his first excited ascent up these very steps.\u00a0 His father had watched with pride as he climbed upward, trying in his boyish manner to make two steps at a time, but his little legs had barely been long enough and by the time he\u2019d gotten to the landing, he had given up trying to master the feat.\u00a0 That accomplishment had come the next year, after his pa had told him he\u2019d grown nearly a foot since the house had been built.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now, standing at the bottom of the stairs, he wondered when the last time had been, since he had seen the upstairs rooms.\u00a0 Having been in ill health for the last couple of years, he\u2019d given up using his old room and had retired most of his belongings to the downstairs guest room off the dining room.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t much cared for the idea, but with the rheumatism getting so much worse and his old bones becoming frail, the doctor had recommended that he avoid the stairs, least he fall and fracture a bone.\u00a0 Doctor Ira Martin, grandson of Paul Martin, Virginia City\u2019s first real doctor, had explained that if he were to become bedridden, he would chance pneumonia and in this stage of his life, it could be most damaging to his health and could result in death, so Adam had stayed away, until today.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Today, he had promised himself, he would take the chance, for a deep yearning had beckoned to him from above.\u00a0 Adam glanced upward, it would take some time for him to climb the many stairs, but he willed himself to go.\u00a0 By the time that he had reached the landing, the old man was gasping for air to fill his burning lungs.\u00a0 He leaned wearily against the railing; his eyes set on the utmost step.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Over and over he whispered, his voice raspy with age, \u201cI can do this, I can do this,\u201d he uttered as he stepped beyond the final step.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His wrinkled face formed a smile.\u00a0 Where once dimples deepened his cheeks, now weather worn lines hid the impressions that had once made his handsome face so pleasing to look upon.\u00a0Cautiously he made his way down the long hall, stopping at the first door on his right.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With one hand on the curve of his cane and the other on the doorknob, Adam gave a little turn and pushed opened the door.\u00a0 The room was dark, with only a sliver of light trying to peep from behind the closed curtains.\u00a0 Being careful not to trip over the carpet, Adam walked over to the opposite wall and tugged on the drapes until they parted enough that the sun could light the room well enough that he might see.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Unexpectedly, his heart fluttered and rose in tempo as the old man\u2019s eyes swept the room.\u00a0 He felt the onrush of tears as old memories came creeping back to him.\u00a0 He slowly walked to the bed, where in his mind he saw the face, twisted with pain, his brother\u2019s brow dotted with beads of moisture from the raging fever, the boy whom he had helped to raise, a gunshot wound in the shoulder.\u00a0 It was his bullet that had nearly killed his brother, his carelessness and Adam instantly felt again, as if it had just happened, the guilt that had nearly driven him from his home and his family.\u00a0 His hand wiped at his eyes, that had been another lifetime ago, and Little Joe had lived and had forgiven him for the accident that had nearly claimed his young life.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam turned and his eyes cleared and he smiled at the picture of the old Indian that still hung in the back corner wall of Joe\u2019s room.\u00a0 He\u2019d always hated that particular picture, but Joe had liked it.\u00a0 Adam laughed, naturally he would have, especially since the boy had known that his older brother hated it.\u00a0 It had always been like that between himself and Little Joe, at least after he had returned home from college.\u00a0 Before then, when Joe had been a boy, Adam could remember holding the weeping child in his arms as Joseph cried for his mama who had been killed in a riding accident.\u00a0 He could see the tiny face with huge green eyes looking into his own tear filled eyes and asking when would his mama be coming home?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The memory refreshed his own tears, those days had been filled with such sadness and there had been little to make the boy smile and practically nothing could make him happy.\u00a0 But time, as always, eased away the sorrow and pain, and the memories became something to cherish and hold within their hearts.\u00a0 As time went by, life took on a routine and before he knew it, the little boy had become a man, a good man at that.\u00a0 The rough edges had smoothed, the recklessness had given way to caution and thoughtfulness and soon, Little Joe became Joseph, his father\u2019s right hand man.\u00a0 Adam was pleased, for he had seen years earlier the potential that his youngest brother possessed and when he\u2019d finally gotten up the courage to leave home for good, it was with the assurance that he had left the best man possible to stand beside his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe had always been the heart of the Ponderosa, the spirit of this home and this family.\u00a0 He had been their father\u2019s pride and joy, the little boy who had made his father the happiest in his golden years.\u00a0 Though Joseph had suffered his own losses, what with the death of his wife, Alice, and her unborn child, Joe had remained steadfast to his first love, this ranch, this home, and his family.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam\u2019s head dropped and his body trembled slightly as he recalled the telegram he\u2019d received from Ira Martin, informing him of his brother\u2019s untimely death.\u00a0 Adam had been far from home, too far to get back in time to say goodbye to the boy whom he had always loved as if he had been his own son.\u00a0 It was with sadness that Joe had died alone, without family at his bedside.\u00a0 A whole slew of friends had gathered around, but the thoughts of his parting without Adam\u2019s presence, left a hollow and guilt-ridden feeling deep within his heart.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It seemed like yesterday to Adam as he stood in his brother\u2019s bedroom doorway, that they had been boys.\u00a0 Joe had been gone now, twelve years.\u00a0 He had only been fifty-five, when the unknown disease claimed him.\u00a0 Adam pinched his lips together and gave the room one final sweep with his eyes.\u00a0 It was as if Little Joe stood before him, laughing and smiling at him, assuring his big brother that everything was well, and as it should be.\u00a0 Adam closed the door, the memory of Joe\u2019s harmonious and infamous giggle resounding in his ear.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Adam made his way slowly across the hall and stopped.\u00a0 Hoss\u2019 room, his biggest brother\u2019s room.\u00a0 The door creaked slightly as he pushed it forward.\u00a0 The drapes in this room were opened wide and the sun cast a warm and inviting glow throughout the room.\u00a0 The first thing that caught Adam\u2019s attention was the massive sized bed, made and ordered just for Hoss.\u00a0 The bed had been shipped from a manufacturer in San Francisco.\u00a0 Adam couldn\u2019t help himself, he just had to sit down on the soft mattress and when he did, it was as if Hoss had sat down next to him.\u00a0 He could feel and sense the amiable giant\u2019s spirit as a gentle peace, much like the man himself, settled within the room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Little green men, and miniature ponies, a box of gold and a kind-hearted giant, all roaming over the fields and woods of the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Adam shut his eyes, white rabbits and fur coats, a flying apparatus, an infernal machine, horseless carriages, it all came charging back at him in full force.\u00a0 Adam laughed; one thing was certain, life had never been dull with Hoss around.\u00a0 His middle brother had been kind and loving, compassionate, yet big and strong, a force to be reckoned with when angered, which was seldom, but as meek as a mouse with tender hands that could hold within their grasps, new born life, both human and otherwise.\u00a0 Hoss\u2026God how he missed him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His brother, just six years his junior, had died so young, without warning and his death had almost been the undoing of his family.\u00a0 The hole his dying had left in their hearts had taken nearly a lifetime to heal, and even now, Adam wondered if they had all ever really gotten over the death of such a warm, wonderful human being.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The hour had passed swiftly as Adam stood to his feet and walked from the room.\u00a0 His aged old bones had begun to ache, the pain matching the grief he felt in his heart as he pushed aside the last door in the hallway.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The minute he stepped inside, his eyes filled with tears and no matter that he willed himself to be strong, the tiny droplets rolled slowly down the sides of his face.\u00a0 His father\u2019s face loomed before him and once again, Adam felt as if he were a young man.\u00a0 When he looked up, he felt the warmth he saw in the dark chocolate eyes that he envisioned smiling back at him.\u00a0 They were the same eyes that had danced with laughter, smiled with pride and cried tears of joy and unhappiness that he remembered from the days of his youth and had haunted his dreams years later when he had become a man.\u00a0 No other person on the face of the earth had, had such an impact on his life.\u00a0 Ben Cartwright, his father, his mentor, his idol, had been the inspiration that fueled the flame that drove him to be the best possible man he could be.\u00a0 But yet, standing as he was now, in his father\u2019s room, Adam questioned himself as to whether or not he had fully achieved everything that he had striven to become.\u00a0 Somehow he doubted that his father would think otherwise, for Ben Cartwirght had always been proud of his sons, all three of them and he had never failed to tell them so.\u00a0 Whether Joe and Hoss lived here in the only home they had ever known, the Ponderosa, and Adam lived another world away, Ben had suffered the people to know, he had sons to be proud of and justly so, he had told them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam remembered when he had finally gotten the courage to tell his father that he was leaving.\u00a0 The news had broken his father\u2019s heart, but it had been expected, Ben had said.\u00a0 Masking his own disappointments and fears for his son\u2019s life, Pa had given him his blessings and sent him on his way, bidding him God\u2019s speed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Of any one person, Adam missed his father the most.\u00a0 The eldest Cartwright had set out to follow his dream, dragging his eldest son along with him, and had succeeded in making that dream come true.\u00a0 For what he was and what he had become and for who he was right now, it was all due to the loving guidance of his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt won\u2019t be long now Pa, until we\u2019re all together once again,\u201d whispered Adam as he backed slowly from the room.\u00a0 He paused in the doorway and smiled, then closed the door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The last door stood slightly ajar, as if beckoning for him to enter the room.\u00a0 Without hesitation, Adam entered, and then paused.\u00a0 It was all there his books, his guitar, his etchings, even bits of his poetry still laid spread across the top of his desk.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At the foot of the bed, Adam picked up an old shirt and held it up to the light.\u00a0 It had faded with time, but there was no question, the original color had once been black.\u00a0 He was surprised to hear the sound of his voice, for he had been unaware that he laughed out loud.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI wonder what kind of a statement I was trying to make, back then?\u201d he asked himself aloud and then looked down at the blue plaid design of his present attire.\u00a0 \u201cI know I\u2019m getting old now\u2026who in the world picked this thing out?\u201d\u00a0 He seemed truly surprised.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam flinched, and rubbed his chest, the pain had grown worse.\u00a0 The shirt was tossed aside as Adam sat down on the edge of the bed to rest and collect his thoughts.\u00a0 The memories had stirred a longing in his heart that he had not anticipated and he suddenly felt lonely in a world where life had been, at times, hard and demanding.\u00a0 But with the memories, the emptiness had seemed to expand and swallow him up.\u00a0 For all the years that he had wasted wandering the world, seeking peace within his soul, he had finally found what he had been searching for.\u00a0 It really hadn\u2019t come as a shock to Adam, to admit to himself that here, in the home of his youth, he was most contented to be, most free from life\u2019s cruel rewards. The wonder that the Ponderosa and all that it involved had been his ultimate destination and that the end of the road had also been his beginning.\u00a0 It was something to be in awe of.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stretched out on his bed, making himself comfortable.\u00a0 He felt tired, and felt the need to close his eyes, just for a moment, he reasoned, until he was rested enough to make his way back, the way he had come.\u00a0 The warmth of the room lured him to sleep within minutes of closing his eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Back, the way he had come.\u00a0 The thought lingered in his mind, sending his spirit soaring.\u00a0 He felt weightless, as if he were floating and the sensation was most welcoming.\u00a0 The nagging pain he\u2019d been suffering in his limbs seemed so much less now than earlier, indeed, he could say that it was no longer present.\u00a0 His hands, when he looked down at his fingers, appeared normal rather than arthritic and he flexed them over and over until he was sure that the knotted pain in the knuckles was none existent.\u00a0 Adam straightened himself up, surprised that his back had stopped hurting and the hip that he had broken ten years earlier now moved with ease when he tried to walk.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He stood silently, listening to the strange sounds around him.\u00a0 Off to his left he heard the gentle flutter of what he supposed were birds, but a second glance told him he was wrong, though he recognized the sound for what it was, he was unable to determine exactly what was making the noise.\u00a0 It reminded him of a story his father had read to him, many, many years ago about the rustling of angel\u2019s wings.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A movement to his right drew his musings from the subject of heavenly beings.\u00a0 He was amazed at what he saw, and he stared opened-eyed at the three lone figures that were approaching him.\u00a0His old heart thumped wildly and his breathing became erratic as he gasped for air.\u00a0 His father, in his prime, his middle brother Hoss, looking fit and Little Joe, as he had always pictured the boy to be, now stood before him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWelcome home, son,\u201d his father said in his deep rich voice that Adam remembered so well.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d Adam\u2019s lips formed the words as he pushed them outward from deep within his throat.\u00a0 His voice was no longer raspy, his words more distinct.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWho were you expecting to meet you, son?\u201d Ben laughed. \u201cWe told you we\u2019d wait here for you.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYa ready to go, big brother?\u201d Hoss questioned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe horses are tied over there, Adam, Sport\u2019s all saddled and waiting for you,\u201d Joe informed him, pointing off into the distance.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s going to be a big feast soon, with lots of good food, and wine, to celebrate,\u201d Ben informed his oldest son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, and everyone\u2019s counting on seeing you.\u00a0 Doc Martin, Clem, Roy, and even Hop Sing, they\u2019re all there, Adam.\u00a0 And you\u2019ll never guess who else is waiting,\u201d Little Joe giggled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWho?\u201d Adam asked, not sure if he ever wanted to wake up from this dream that had brought his loved ones home to him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCain\u2019t tell ya, we gotta show ya,\u201d smiled Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cBut I reckon ya gonna like it, it\u2019s a surprise.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam grinned when he saw the gap between his middle brother\u2019s two front teeth.\u00a0 Some things never change, he thought.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAlright, I suppose I\u2019m ready,\u201d Adam determined after a moment of indecision.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n What did he have to lose?\u00a0 He was tired and sick and more than anything else in the whole world, he was lonesome for his family.\u00a0 As he gazed up into the faces of his loved ones, he knew he had made the right decision, it was time to go home.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAlright it\u2019s settled, lets get the horses and then, let\u2019s ride!\u201d shouted Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The powdery white flakes stirred up by horses hooves floated softly down as the foursome spurred their mounts into a gallop and rode off\u2026into the clouds\u2026and into eternity.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n THE END<\/p>\n July 2003<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n