{"id":12272,"date":"2004-04-07T09:53:35","date_gmt":"2004-04-07T13:53:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12272"},"modified":"2026-07-31T08:42:09","modified_gmt":"2026-07-31T12:42:09","slug":"that-silver-haired-daddy-of-mine-by-debbie-b","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12272","title":{"rendered":"That Silver-Haired Daddy of Mine (by Debbie B)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/b>\u00a0 Ben’s near death experience is cause for Joe to want to make atonement for his past misdemeanors. <\/span><\/p>\n

Rated G \u00a0WC 12,600<\/span><\/p>\n

That Silver-Haired Daddy Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

That Silver-Haired Daddy of Mine<\/a>
\nAn Arm and a Leg<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That Silver-Haired Daddy of Mine<\/strong><\/p>\n

In a vine-covered shack in the mountains <\/em>
\nBravely fighting the battle of Time<\/em>
\nThere’s a dear one who’s weathered life’s sorrow <\/em>
\nIt’s that silver haired Daddy of mine<\/em><\/p>\n

If I could recall all the heartaches <\/em>
\nDear old Daddy, I’ve caused you to bear <\/em>
\nIf I could erase those lines from your face <\/em>
\nAnd bring back the gold to your hair<\/em><\/p>\n

If God would but grant me the power <\/em>
\nJust to turn back the pages of Time <\/em>
\nI’d give all I own if I could but atone <\/em>
\nTo that silver haired Daddy of mine.<\/em><\/p>\n

By Jimmy Long and Gene Autry<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben and Joe stood together<\/strong> and watched while Adam and Hoss finished loading the supplies into the back of the wagon.\u00a0 Hop Sing buzzed around, jibber jabbering in his native tongue things that only he understood.\u00a0 Joe tried not to giggle, but he could not help himself for the little man kept looking his way and Joe had an idea that his long time friend was meaning all those mixed up words for he and his father.\u00a0 When Joe glanced at Ben, he wasn\u2019t at all surprised to see his father trying to suppress his amusement as well.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle boy break leg just in time to avoid round-up,\u201d jabbered Hop Sing. \u201cBoss no better, falling over own feet and breaking arm!\u201d Hop Sing said with a stern look in Ben\u2019s direction.<\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss paused in their work to cast doubtful eyes at their father and younger brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you may be on to something, Hop Sing,\u201d muttered Adam.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe\u2019s timing was just too perfect to suit me, what do you think, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI agree with ya big brother, if Joe hadn\u2019t been squabbling about havin\u2019 to go on this particular roundup, I\u2019d\u2019a never thought nuthin\u2019 about him breakin\u2019 his leg\u2026but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw\u2026come on, now you two, you don\u2019t really think I broke this leg on purpose\u2026do you?\u201d Joe said in a whining voice.<\/p>\n

His expression showed the hurt he was suddenly feeling for being blamed for something he had no control over.\u00a0 Joe had lowered his head, but he watched his brothers from beneath his thick lashes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you and Pa both planned it this way\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow Adam!\u201d proclaimed Ben, \u201cyou know that we did no such a thing!\u00a0 Little Joe had no cause to purposely injure himself, he got thrown, that\u2019s all\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure he did, after making his brags about how well he could ride that new horse\u2026and then someone mentioned roundup and the next thing we knew, Joe was face down in the dirt\u2026with a broken leg\u2026how convenient could you get?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then you tripped in your haste to get to him, only to end up with a broken arm\u2026neither of you will convince us, that the two of you did not plan this!\u201d Adam said with all the sternness he could muster without laughing.<\/p>\n

It was all Adam and Hoss could do not to laugh.\u00a0 The look on their younger brother\u2019s face was priceless, not to mention the dark look in Ben\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 Suddenly, both burst out into a roaring laughter that drew the attention of the men who were also getting prepared to leave.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe was just ajoshin\u2019 ya, Shortshanks,\u201d snickered Hoss who had come over and clamped his strong hand down on Joe\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t look so sorrowful\u2026you can stay here and help Pa with all the chores\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt will more like me helping Joseph with the chores,\u201d laughed Ben.\u00a0 \u201cHe can barely get around as it is, what with that heavy cast, Doc Martin put on that leg.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, it does seem heavier than most he applies,\u201d Adam surmised with a wink at Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe it\u2019s Pa we should be feelin\u2019 sorry for, stead of Shortshanks, at least Pa can walk,\u201d Hoss determined with a giggle.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no need to feel sorry for either of us,\u201d Ben concluded as he rested his arm about Joe\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cYour brother and I will get along just fine, won\u2019t we son?\u201d Ben asked, turning to smile at Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure we will, between the two of us, we can run this ranch, with or without a broken leg\u2026or arm\u201d Joe assured his brothers.<\/p>\n

Finally, Joe and his father joined Adam and Hoss in laughing.\u00a0 Joe still looked a bit doubtful that his brother\u2019s had actually meant what they said, but his father knew otherwise.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t take it seriously, son,\u201d he said to Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I hope they didn\u2019t really think that I would\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course we didn\u2019t kid, we saw how hard you tried to stay on that bronco, I\u2019m just glad it was your leg and not your neck,\u201d Adam said, gently slapping Joe on the back.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Pa, guess we\u2019re ready to move out.\u00a0 You take care of the kid\u2026and kid,\u201d Adam said, teasing his younger brother, \u201cyou take care of the old\u2026ere\u2026Pa,\u201d smiled Adam.<\/p>\n

Joe giggled, glanced at his older brother and shook his head in agreement.\u00a0 \u201cI guess we\u2019ll be taking care of each other,\u201d he laughed.\u00a0 \u201cYou take care, and keep an eye on that big ape over there!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard that,\u201d Hoss said, coming around the wagon to bid his father and brother good-bye.\u00a0 \u201cTake care, both of ya,\u201d he said, shaking hands with each one.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou do the same, son.\u00a0 Adam, be careful and we\u2019ll see you in a couple of weeks,\u201d Ben said as Hoss and Adam mounted up.\u00a0 \u201cGod bless you both.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSee ya Adam, take care Hoss\u2026\u201d Joe called as his brother motioned for the men and Hop Sing, who drove the wagon, to head out.<\/p>\n

Ben and Joe waved to the group and once they were alone, Ben turned to smile at his youngest son.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d hate to admit this in front of your brothers, Joe, but I\u2019m sort of looking forward to it being just the two of us,\u201d Ben grinned.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe too, Pa.\u00a0 I can\u2019t say I\u2019m really sorry for getting to stay home\u2026I should be, but\u2026hehehe\u2026I\u2019m not.\u00a0 Come on, let\u2019s see what Hop Sing left us to eat, I\u2019m hungry, how about you?\u201d giggled Joe, leading the way back to the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re getting more like Hoss everyday, Little Joe, you just finished breakfast!\u201d laughed Ben as he hurried to catch up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBreakfast?\u00a0 That was two hours ago!\u201d Joe giggled as he hobbled into the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The unexpected terror began four days after Adam and Hoss and all the hands had left for the round up. Ben, sitting at the table having lunch, glanced up at Joe when the pounding on the front door began.\u00a0 He motioned for Joe to stay seated.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get it son, it\u2019s easier for me with a broken arm than you with a broken leg,\u201d he said laughingly as he hurried to answer the constant knocking.\u00a0 \u201cSomeone must be in a hurry,\u201d he jokingly remarked as he rounded the corner of the table.<\/p>\n

Ben pulled opened the door.\u00a0 The shock of having a man\u2019s pistol jabbed into his mid-section must have shown on his face, for the man holding the pistol on him, laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, what do you know, Ben Cartwright,\u201d growled the man as he forced Ben to back into the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho is it, Pa?\u201d Joe called from the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s your worst nightmare,\u201d sneered the man glancing toward the dining room table.<\/p>\n

Joe rose to his feet and hobbled over to where his father had stopped. He seemed just as surprised to see the four men push their way into the house as Ben had been.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this all about?\u201d demanded Ben in his most commanding tone as Joe stood to Ben\u2019s side.<\/p>\n

The man holding the revolver laughed and then jabbed it deeply into Ben\u2019s stomach, causing Ben\u2019s body to fold in half.<\/p>\n

Joe reached out to grab the barrel of the pistol, but the other man with the one who had jabbed Ben, was quicker and swung around, hitting Joe along side his head with the butt of his rifle.\u00a0Joe\u2019s body went slack and he crumbled to the foot at his father\u2019s feet. Ben stood in shock as the clanging of Joe\u2019s cast banged against the hard wooden floor. He could see the expression of pain that clouded his son\u2019s face even in Joe\u2019s unconscious state.<\/p>\n

The other men laughed as Ben started to bend down to see about Joe, but the first man shoved him back.<\/p>\n

\u201cLeave him!\u201d he ordered, pointing the gun once more at Ben.\u00a0 \u201cNow move over there,\u201d he demanded, motioning for Ben to move toward his desk.<\/p>\n

\u201cBlake, you keep an eye on the kid, in case he wakes up!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing boss,\u201d the one named Blake answered.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou two, keep watch, if anyone rides up, let me know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh\u2026cain\u2019t I just shoot\u2019em Sam?\u201d another man asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou heard what I said, now get!\u201d Sam shouted.<\/p>\n

Sam turned back to Ben who now stood before his desk.\u00a0 Ben had been keeping an eye on Joe, fearing that he was badly hurt.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere was no need to hit him, he can\u2019t do anything to you, not with a broken leg,\u201d growled Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you just shut up old man?\u201d snapped Sam with an angry glare.<\/p>\n

\u201cOpen the safe,\u201d Sam issued.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy\u2026there\u2019s nothing but papers, there is no money,\u201d Ben said, slowly moving to the safe.<\/p>\n

Sam had a puzzled look on his face that Ben noted instantly.\u00a0 He also saw Sam glance toward Blake and Joe, who was beginning to regain consciousness.\u00a0 Joe glanced up, seeing the barrel of the long rifle pointed at his head, and groaning, pushed himself into a sitting position.\u00a0 He looked across the room at his father and saw the man who had hit him pointing his weapon at Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you alright, Pa?\u201d Joe called.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine son, what about you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShut the chatter and get over there like I told ya and open that safe!\u201d Sam shouted, shoving Ben. \u201cOr the boy gets a bullet in his head!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben glanced again at Joe and saw that the one called Blake had lowered his rifle and was now holding his pistol to Joe\u2019s temple.\u00a0 The sight sent shivers of fear racing through his body and quickly, Ben moved to the safe and began turning the dial.<\/p>\n

Carefully, with his back to Sam, Ben opened the safe door.\u00a0 Inside, on top of the cash box that held over $10,000 dollars, laid Ben\u2019s pistol.\u00a0 His fingers quivered just slightly as they touched the pearl handle revolver.\u00a0 Behind him, Sam stood, ready to fire.\u00a0 Across the room, Blake\u2019s pistol pressed against his son\u2019s temple, dare he try?<\/p>\n

One more hurried glance over his shoulder told him that Blake had momentarily looked off, thus giving him the advantage he needed.\u00a0 Ben spun around, revolver in hand and pointed it upward at Sam.\u00a0 Sam reacted by shouting out and then firing his own gun, striking Ben.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s pistol flew from his hand as he was slammed back against the safe and then sagged, bleeding profusely to the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cPA!\u201d shouted Joe as he started toward his father.<\/p>\n

Blake stuck out his foot, tripping Joe and causing the younger Cartwright to tumble to the floor in a heap.\u00a0 Angered, as Joe tried to scoot away, Blake brought up the butt of his rifle and crashed it downward, into Joe\u2019s plaster cast.\u00a0 Joe screamed in pain as twice more Blake beat the rifle butt into the cast, shattering it into pieces.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got the money, come on, let\u2019s get out of here!\u201d shouted Sam as he made for the door.<\/p>\n

Blake raised his gun and pointed it at Joe, ready to kill him, but Sam pushed his hand down<\/p>\n

\u201cLeave him be, he ain\u2019t gonna go nowhere, not with his leg in that condition!\u201d ordered Sam.\u00a0 \u201cI got what I came here for\u2026Cartwright\u2019s money and\u2026his life, now let\u2019s get goin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Blake holstered his pistol and switched the rifle to his other hand.\u00a0 He made a smirking smile at Joe who withered in pain on the floor at his feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cSee ya \u2018round, kid,\u201d Blake laughed with a snarl as he backed out the door, closing it with a slam.<\/p>\n

Joe, his leg throbbing with pain, lowered his head to the floor and took a deep breath to still his trembling.\u00a0 Ben moaned softly which immediately attracted Joe\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d he cried out as he dragged his body across the floor of the great room to Ben\u2019s desk where Ben lay sprawled in the floor.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s hand fumbled with his father\u2019s shirt trying to undo the buttons so that he could see how much damaged Sam\u2019s bullet had done.\u00a0 With his hands trembling, Joe gave up the dubious task and instead, ripped opened the front part of the shirt, thus revealing the wound made by the bullet.\u00a0 Fear gripped Joe\u2019s heart as he quickly removed Ben\u2019s neckerchief and tried to squelch the bleeding.\u00a0 When he gazed into Ben\u2019s face, Joe saw that the color had drained from his father\u2019s features, leaving the older man pale and sickly looking.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Joe whispered, trying to get a response from his father.<\/p>\n

He knew the bullet wound was bad; the bullet, having been fired at close range had ripped the flesh open in Ben\u2019s shoulder and traveled deeply into the muscles.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, Pa\u2026answer me!\u201d Joe whimpered as tears formed in his hazel eyes.\u00a0 \u201cWake up!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe wasn\u2019t sure how he had managed, but somehow, through sheer determination, he managed to half carry, half drag Ben\u2019s body up the stairs, down the hall and into his father\u2019s bedroom.\u00a0Once Ben was lying on the bed, Joe collapsed into the old rocker that had, for many years, graced the massive bedroom of Joe\u2019s parents.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s breathing was ragged, sweat dotted his brow and the pain that stemmed from his partially healed leg had become almost unbearable.\u00a0 For several long minutes he sat as if in a trance, but when he heard his father moan slightly, Joe snapped to attention.\u00a0 Quickly he pulled himself up and favoring his leg, he limped over to the washstand, to pour cool water into a basin and then soaked a cloth, laying it across Ben\u2019s forehead.\u00a0 Opening back the torn shirt, Joe inspected the wound area again, relieved that the gap in the shoulder had almost stopped bleeding.<\/p>\n

Using as much tenderness as he could, Joe cleaned the wound, put a light bandage over the top and made Ben as comfortable as possible.\u00a0 He poured a glass of water and set it close to the edge of the nightstand, well within Ben\u2019s reach, and then gently pulled the cover up, making sure that the blanket was tucked completely about his father\u2019s body.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s expression was strained, for his leg was burning with pain and he knew he\u2019d have to fashion some sort of cast to support his broken leg before making the long trek into town to fetch back Doc Martin.\u00a0 But the better part of his discomfort came from seeing the agonizing expression that had embedded itself into the folds of his father\u2019s face.\u00a0 Joe was scared, frightened that he might not make it back in time with the doctor to save his beloved father\u2019s life.\u00a0 The young man glanced down at the wound again and saw that the bandage was tainted a light shade of pink, telling him that the bullet wound still seeped blood.\u00a0 Joe sighed deeply, fighting an inner battle as to whether he should go for the physician or try to probe for the bullet himself.<\/p>\n

When Ben moaned painfully, Joe\u2019s mind was made up.\u00a0 His voice quivered slightly as he spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I need to go for the doctor,\u201d Joe said, placing his lips as close to Ben\u2019s ear as possible in order that his father might hear his words.\u00a0 Joe wasn\u2019t sure Ben did hear, but he knew that the doctor\u2019s skillful and nimble fingers would be needed in order to remove the bullet from Ben\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t be long, honest.\u00a0 Just promise me, you won\u2019t try to get out of bed, we can\u2019t risk this wound starting to bleed again.\u00a0 Pa\u2026Pa\u2026do you hear me, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

In a weak voice, Ben mumbled his reply.\u00a0 Joe still wasn\u2019t convinced that his father had understood what he\u2019d been trying to tell him, but he felt he had no other choice.\u00a0 Rising slowly from the bed, Joe made sure that the blankets were tucked securely about his father\u2019s form and then hobbled toward the door, dragging his broken leg behind him as he clung to the furniture.<\/p>\n

It was a painful journey, from Ben\u2019s bedroom to the top of the stairs.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s leg ached with such intensity that he forced himself to concentrate on nothing but getting help for his father.\u00a0Descending the stairs was a nightmare in itself as Joe held the broken leg inches from the ground and clung tightly to the railing as he made his way ever so slowly downward. A fall down the stairs would be his undoing, Joe determined, treading cautiously, lest he did fall and re-break the bone.\u00a0 Joe paused and briefly wished he was a young boy again, he\u2019d slide down the banister, he thought.<\/p>\n

At the bottom of the stairs, Joe was forced to stop and rest.\u00a0 His leg wasn\u2019t the only thing hurting, the entire side of his face where Blake had struck him with the butt of his rifle felt numb and his jaw didn\u2019t seem to be working properly.\u00a0 Joe pondered the idea that his leg might not be the only thing broken, his jaw hurt enough that it very well could have been as well.<\/p>\n

After getting a second wind, Joe, using the furniture for support, made it to the front door.\u00a0 His sidearm was gone; the intruders had taken all the guns they could find, including the rifles from the gun case at the bottom of the stairs. He glanced down at the pieces of cast that Blake had broken off his leg with the butt of a rifle.\u00a0 Joe silently swore to find the man, and make him pay, and that fellow named Sam, he best be hoping that Pa doesn\u2019t die, cause if he does, Sam\u2019s good as dead, swore Joe.<\/p>\n

Joe made it to the end of the porch before he fell and heard the snapping of bone.\u00a0 For several agonizing moments, he lay in the dirt, withering in pain and then swearing his revenge on the four men who had happened along and suddenly made his life a living hell.<\/p>\n

Wiping the dirt from his face, Joe raised his head and looked toward the barn.\u00a0 It seemed a million miles away for one with a broken leg and a dying man upstairs needing a doctor.\u00a0 Joe had no other recourse but to crawl along in the dirt as if he\u2019d been a snake.\u00a0 His mood was growing darker and darker with every inch he was made to slither along, and by the time he reached the barn and was able to use the door to pull himself upright, Joe was ready to kill.\u00a0 Using his good leg and the support of the wooden structure, Joe jumped along into the barn, grinding his teeth to keep from crying out.\u00a0 Joe stoped just inside the darkened barn to let his eyes grow accustomed to the darkness.<\/p>\n

\u201cDAMN!\u201d Joe shouted aloud when he was able to see.<\/p>\n

The intruders had turned all the horses loose.\u00a0 Angered beyond his limit, Joe slammed his fist into the side of the wall, and then cringed when the pain in his fist register with his brain.<\/p>\n

When he was at last able to come to terms with the idea that if the bullet was to be removed from his father\u2019s shoulder, it would be up to him, Joe took a deep breath to calm the tremors that surged throughout his body.\u00a0 He glanced around the vacant barn, looking for something to fashion a cast for his leg so that he could move about a bit more freely.<\/p>\n

In a corner, Joe spied some boards that had been stored for future use and with a determined scowl on his face, managed to slowly make his way across the barn to the far corner. Joe set his jaw firm as he carefully lowered himself to the ground and stuck his foot between two rails of the stall.\u00a0 It would be an agonizing move, but the bone in his leg would have to be set first, before he would be of any use to his father.\u00a0 Mentally, Joe counted to three and then yanked backwards, crying out as the bone moved into place.<\/p>\n

Several moments passed before Joe could regain control of his emotions and will away the pain that sprouted upward from the fractured leg into his hip.\u00a0 Joe felt the tears pool in his eyes but wiped them away with the sleeve of his shirt and then set about putting in place the boards that would serve as a makeshift cast.<\/p>\n

After ripping up one of the old ragged towels he had found, into strips, Joe tied the lengths around the two boards he used to support his broken leg.\u00a0 Assured that they would suffice, he grabbed an old broom to use for a crutch and worked his way, painstakingly back to the house.<\/p>\n

Once inside, Joe went directly to the kitchen where he set a pan of water on to boil.\u00a0 He dropped a couple of Hop Sing\u2019s sharpest knives down into the pot and let the utensils boil along with the water.\u00a0 He then placed a kettle of water on the other eye as well and while it heated, Joe went in search of the medical supplies that his father kept handy.\u00a0 In the dining room, he found thebrandy, and a bottle of whiskey and carried them to his father\u2019s room.<\/p>\n

Joe paused in the doorway of the bedroom, appalled by the paleness of Ben\u2019s face.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s head was moving from side to side and the pain was apparent on the weather-bronzed face.\u00a0 Joe moved to the bedside and set the decanter of brandy and the bottle of whiskey on the nightstand and turned to Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Joe said, bending down, over the bed.\u00a0 \u201cHang on Pa\u2026please\u2026\u201d he whispered as he gently forced Ben back down against the soft pillows.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe horses, they\u2019re all gone\u2026there\u2019s no one here but you and I and I\u2026I\u2026I\u2019m gonna have to probe for that bullet myself,\u201d gulped Joe.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyelids fluttered and his dark eyes opened slightly.\u00a0 He raised his arm, resting his hand on Joe\u2019s arm, patting it lightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s\u2026alright\u2026son\u2026just\u2026do your\u2026best and I\u2019ll\u2026understand,\u201d murmured Ben, closing his eyes.\u00a0 His hand slid from Joe\u2019s arm, leaving Joe with a deepening dread of what he was being forced to do.<\/p>\n

Tenderly, as Joe ran his slender fingers through the silver hair, a memory dredged up from the far corners of his mind, a time when his father had looked as close to death as he did at this moment.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d only been about fourteen and he\u2019d been caught in a lie, which had resulted in his father being nearly killed by the men who had wrapped the elder Cartwright in the barbed wire fencing that Ben had started using.\u00a0 The ranchers had not liked the new fencing and they had taken that dislike out on his father.<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe sighed, lost in his memory.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben had nearly died from the injuries; he himself had suffered deep gashes to his hands when he had tried to pull the barbed wire free from his father\u2019s bloody body.\u00a0 It had been a hideous sight, seeing his beloved father suffering as he had, and Joe blamed no one, other than himself.\u00a0 He recalled the look of love that his father had given to him as they lay in the back of the wagon that night.\u00a0 Joe called to mind the forgiveness he had received from his parent and the way that Ben had assured him that nothing had been his fault, that the men who had terrorized him had been the ones to blame.\u00a0 The lie\u2026that had been Joe\u2019s only wrong doing, even with that, Joe had<\/em> thought he was doing the right thing, protecting his family from the threats of the malicious men.\u00a0 He had learned a valuable lesson in the days that followed; he learned just how much the man whose hand he now held within his own, meant to him.\u00a0 And he had learned that no matter what the reason might be, it never paid to lie, especially to his father.\u00a0 But the greatest lesson was the lesson of love, and just how much one man\u2019s heart could hold for a young impetuous boy who had made a near costly mistaken.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry Pa,\u201d muttered Joe, leaning down and placing his lips to his father\u2019s fevered brow.\u00a0 \u201cSo sorry\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe took the cloth that had slipped from Ben\u2019s brow and dampened it and then laid it across Ben\u2019s forehead.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be right back, Pa\u2026I gotta get some things from the kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe felt as if it were he lying in the bed and his shoulder was ablaze with fire.\u00a0 Ben clutched a soft cloth between his teeth, an attempt to keep from screaming out as Joe probed deeper and deeper into his father\u2019s flesh.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes kept wandering to the older man\u2019s face, unable to fathom the amount of pain he read there.\u00a0 His insides churned with fear, his hands, he willed not to tremble, for he feared that his fingers might slip and he\u2019d wind up doing more damage to the already impaired shoulder.<\/p>\n

When he at long last felt the bullet, he sighed deeply and glanced again at Ben\u2019s face and noted that Ben had passed out.\u00a0 Joe had been so intent on what he was doing that he had not noticed it before and could only wonder how long his father had been unconscious.<\/p>\n

With fingers that now trembled only slightly, Joe eased the thongs slowly from the gapping hole until he had completely removed the pellet from Ben\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 The pellet from the bullet, made a dinging sound as it was dropped into the China basin and rolled around, its destination, the bottom of the bowl.<\/p>\n

Joe wiped the blood away from the opening.\u00a0 The flesh would have to be stitched, a job that Joe dreaded more than probing for the bullet.\u00a0 Picking up one of Hop Sing\u2019s sewing needles and the strongest thread he could find, Joe began the dubious task.<\/p>\n

His stitches, he made as neatly as possible.\u00a0 He knew that the neatness of his work would depend on how well the opening healed and how well or how badly the scar would form.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh Pa\u2026I don\u2019t know if I can do this or not,\u201d Joe muttered.<\/p>\n

The young man\u2019s stomach churned and twice he had to stop what he was doing and empty the contents into the China bowl along with the pellet from the bullet.\u00a0 The chore, the pained expression on his father\u2019s face, the intruders, the entire afternoon, mixed with the heat in the bedroom, not to mention the hurting in his own leg, his pounding head, all caused Joe to become nauseous.\u00a0 He washed his hands and returned to his task, feeling no better than before.<\/p>\n

It was a short time later that the task was finally finished and Joe could let go with a long sigh of relief.\u00a0 Carefully he tucked the blanket around Ben\u2019s body, felt his father\u2019s brow for fever and then limping profusely, carried the remnants of his accomplishment down the back stairs and into the kitchen.\u00a0 Quickly disposing of the mess, Joe cleaned himself up in the kitchen.\u00a0 Feeling refreshed, he glanced around at the mess that had been made in the kitchen.\u00a0 He had been so intent on what needed to be done, that he had failed to notice the disarrayed room before.<\/p>\n

The intruders had ransacked the entire kitchen taking from the shelves and panty what they would need along the trail.\u00a0 Joe found only a small portion of bread that the robbers had missed and was able to make himself a sandwich of butter and jam.\u00a0 In the back of the panty, Joe found a single jar of broth that Hop Sing had canned for such emergencies.\u00a0 Popping the top from the jar, Joe picked up a pot from the table where it had been slung and put the broth on the stove to heat for his father, should Ben wake up and be hungry.<\/p>\n

With a groan that he had not intended to make, Joe forced himself back up the stairs.\u00a0 He was worn out, his leg pained him to no end and the fear that he might have done his father more harm than good, ate away at the core of his very being.<\/p>\n

Silently, Joe crept into the bedroom and pulled the overstuffed chair up, close to the bed.\u00a0 Before sitting down, he checked again for fever and to be sure that the wound and incision he made had stopped bleeding.\u00a0 Weary to the bone, Joe lowered himself into the inviting comforts of the chair, pulled at his trousers to aid in raising his leg and carefully, ignoring the pain, lowered his broken leg onto the footstool.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes closed even before his head rested on the back of the chair.<\/p>\n

Little Joe pulled the new rifle out from where his father had hidden it and crept from the house.\u00a0 The lure of the big buck enticed Ben\u2019s youngest son to do something that he had been forbidden to do alone.\u00a0 Joe had made his plans well and now that his father and brothers were away from the house, he was free to hunt the trophy buck that roamed free just along the boundary line of the Ponderosa.<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe had hidden beneath a massive Ponderosa pine, waiting with baited breath for the buck to step into his sights.\u00a0 He had set his sights, with tense fingers, Joe pulled the trigger and when the rifle discharged, the youngest Cartwright\u2019s life changed forever.\u00a0 He had somehow managed to kill their neighbor\u2019s prize bull.<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes snapped opened and he sat up with a start, groaning.\u00a0 The sudden movement had sent slivers of pain shooting up his leg.\u00a0 His brow was dotted with tiny beads of perspiration that he quickly wiped away before they rolled into his eyes.\u00a0 Joe glanced at his father and saw that Ben seemed to be resting comfortably.\u00a0 Leaning back, Joe closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.<\/p>\n

His father\u2019s chocolate eyes had turned as dark as coal and Joe could see Ben struggling to maintain his composure as Mr. Miller stood before him, ranting and raving about how his irresponsible son had managed to kill his prize bull.\u00a0 Once Mr. Miller had gone, Ben ordered his youngest son upstairs to wait in his room.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe flinched, unaware, in his sleep.<\/p>\n

The sting of his father\u2019s hand to his behind smarted, leaving a tingling sensation across his backside.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI sold them,\u201d Joe muttered in a low voice when asked what had become of his beloved Cochise and the yearling he had planned to sell at auction.<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben was in shock, Joe could see the hairs on his father\u2019s head turning white and he sighed.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou what?\u201d<\/em> Ben had shouted.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI sold him, to pay Mr. Miller back for his bull\u2026you said I had too make restitution, and I didn\u2019t have enough money\u2026so\u2026I\u2026sold\u2026Cochise.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

The soft murmur of his name called Joe from his dream and he raised up to find his father\u2019s dark eyes watching him.\u00a0 He lowered his leg and crept to the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here Pa\u2026how are you feeling?\u201d Joe asked, testing Ben\u2019s brow for fever.\u00a0 He was warmer than what Joe would have liked, and fear\u2019s unrelenting fingers tightened about his heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cThirsty\u2026water, please,\u201d pleaded Ben.<\/p>\n

Joe was quick to respond and once he held the glass to his father\u2019s lips, Ben satisfied his thirst.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you alright, son?\u201d whispered Ben, handing the glass back to Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you worry about me, you just concentrate on getting better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThose men\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re gone, Pa.\u00a0 It isn\u2019t likely that they\u2019ll be back either,\u201d Joe tried assuring his father.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s fingers found Joe\u2019s hand and he twisted them about Joe\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn my\u2026nightstand\u2026a pistol\u2026keep it\u2026close to you.\u00a0 Don\u2019t leave\u2026the house.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe reached to open the drawer and it was as his father had said. He pulled the revolver out of the drawer and glanced at his father; Ben had gone back to sleep.\u00a0 His lips tight against his own pain, Joe lowered himself into the chair, tucking the revolver under the lightweight blanket he used to cover himself.\u00a0 Within minutes, Joe too, was sleeping.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want to tell me about it?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

When Joe came to the part of the story where he had pulled the trigger and had shot the bull instead of the deer he thought he felt the heart skip a beat.\u00a0 Joe looked up at his father\u2019s face then and caught a glimpse of amusement there.\u00a0 Resting his head against Ben\u2019s shoulder and finding comfort in the closeness of his father\u2019s presence, he felt his father\u2019s arm tighten slightly.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, I\u2019m sorry about all of that.\u00a0 I never meant to make you think I had stopped loving you.\u00a0 No matter what son, I could never do that, you are very special to me.\u201d\u00a0 Ben hugged his son while placing a kiss atop Joe\u2019s brown curls.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that now, but then I was so scared and ashamed of myself,\u201d replied Joe, meeting his father\u2019s loving eyes.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI want you to know that I am very proud of you son.\u00a0 It took courage to do what you did for Mr. Miller.\u00a0 Not many grown men would have been as gracious as you have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe tossed about in the chair and moved his head to the other side. In his sleep, he smiled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHappy birthday, Son!\u201d spoke Ben softly so that the wish was heard by Joe only.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCochise!\u201d Joe shouted, glancing at his father with tear filled eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His voice trembled as he spoke, \u201cThank you Pa,\u201d he whispered in a low voice so only his father could hear.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The striking of the clock downstairs in the great room, shattered Joe\u2019s dream and his eyes, heavy with sleep opened at last.\u00a0 His first thought was of his father as he forced himself upright and leaned over the still form.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s brow was damp with perspiration and quickly Joe dampened a cloth and cleaned away the tiny beads and then after pouring fresh water into the bowl, he placed a clean cloth on Ben\u2019s brow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe carefully peeled back the bandage that covered the wound so that he could clean the incision.\u00a0 When he finished, he folded up clean bandages and replaced the soiled ones.\u00a0 Ben moaned softly but failed to open his eyes or respond to his son\u2019s soft words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sat on the edge of the bed, his fingers entwined around his father\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI had a dream last night, Pa\u2026about us.\u00a0 Remember when I sneaked your rifle out of the house and went hunting after that big buck over close to old man Miller\u2019s ranch?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe snickered softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI ended up killing his prize bull instead of that deer.\u00a0 And remember how mad you were?\u00a0 You tanned me good that time.\u00a0 I sure stayed mad at you for a long time, didn\u2019t I?\u00a0 Well, Pa, looking back on that whole mess, I have to admit, I deserved that tanning, and the restriction\u2026and a lot more for what I put you through.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s voice was beginning to tremble as he felt his throat becoming thick with emotion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t remember whether or not I ever said I was sorry for everything that happened, but just in case\u2026I want you to know\u2026I\u2019m sorry for being such a worry to you\u2026then and now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A sob caught in the back of Joe\u2019s throat.\u00a0 He leaned down close to Ben\u2019s ear and whispered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI love you, Pa\u2026please\u2026you just gotta get well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The days that followed seemed endless, as did the ever-present pain in Joe\u2019s leg.\u00a0 He knew that the bone had not set as it should, and that if he could not get help for both he and his father soon, one of them, possibly both, would not survive the ordeal.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s temperature had risen to heights that alarmed his youngest son into imagining the worst.\u00a0 At one point, Joe decided that if he were to get help, he\u2019d have to walk to town, or to the nearest neighbor.\u00a0 He had started out the door just as the black clouds that had begun to gather, burst opened and dumped a heaven load of rain down on his head.\u00a0 The howling wind and pelting rain had sent the youngest Cartwright scurrying back inside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe returned to his father\u2019s room where he busied him bathing Ben\u2019s sweat drenched body in cool water.\u00a0 The broth had been heated and brought up, a chore that had sent arrows of pain coursing up and down Joe\u2019s spine from the long trek to and from the kitchen, his leg always slowing him as it dragged behind. Once Joe had made his father comfortable, he was at last able to lay down on the cot that he had pulled from the closet and set up near Ben\u2019s bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just going to close my eyes for a minute, Pa,\u201d he whispered to his father.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be right here if you need me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben, groggy from the last of the pain powders that Joe had given him from the time before when Paul Martin had left them, nodded his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRest\u2026you\u2026rest\u2026son,\u201d Ben had murmured unaware that Joe\u2019s eyes had already closed in slumber.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy mother was from <\/em>New Orleans<\/em>,\u201d he said casually.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

A hush fell over the room as all eyes turned to Joe.\u00a0 Joe couldn\u2019t help but squirm a bit in his seat when he looked up and saw four pairs of eyes, of various hues starring at him.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe glanced quickly around the table, pausing momentarily at his father before returning his attention to their guest.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHer name was Marie d\u2019Olivier and she lived in the\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u201d Ben called in a voice that Joe recognized all too well.\u00a0 Joe turned to his father, somewhat taken back by the harshness of his voice.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

In his sleep, Joe murmured softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood thing for you Short Shanks, that ya mama married Pa, or ya might not have been my kid brother,\u201d heehawed Hoss.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat has your father done, or not done, that has you so upset?\u201d Will asked unexpectedly, surprising himself as well as the boy, who spun around in shock.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about,\u201d Joe said, eyeing the man.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re upset with your father, and he doesn\u2019t seem to have noticed, but I have.\u00a0 I watched you this afternoon when I arrived, the way you stood off to yourself, out of the way.\u00a0 And then again during supper, you were very quiet, hardly speaking to anyone at all.\u00a0 And you kept glancing at your father, as if you wanted to say something to him.\u00a0 But Ben was far to busy seeing that everything was just right for his guest, and too busy issuing orders to your brothers for the morrow.\u00a0 He hardly gave you the time a day, and that makes you mad\u2026doesn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s head tossed from side to side and he moaned softly in his sleep.\u00a0 His dream was becoming distorted as if a fog had settled over the vision, blurring the face of man who seemed to relish in his unease.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI wish you had been my son.\u00a0 I would never snub you; you would always have my full attention.\u00a0 I\u2019d never be so busy that I could not spare time for you, nor would I ever fail to listen to what you had to say.\u00a0 Why, I bet even your brothers mock you and rarely ever take you seriously, am I right?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe nodded his head up and down.\u00a0 \u201cSometimes,\u201d he said in a small voice.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAh, but he is boy\u2026I\u2019ve only been here one day and I can already see that my dear friend devotes more time to running this ranch than in what his son has to say.\u00a0 You were trying to tell him something, were you not?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe swallowed; he felt uncomfortable with the man\u2019s questions, but what he had said, had been the truth.\u00a0 There would be no lying, for the man had already seen through him.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir\u2026\u201d stammered Joe.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Will smiled.\u00a0 \u201cAnd for how many days now have you been trying to get your father\u2019s attention and tell your father this\u2026something?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Again, Joe swallowed.\u00a0 \u201cAll week\u2026but it\u2019s been round up time and Pa\u2019s been\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cShh\u2026no need to explain to me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

The despicable man entwined his long fingers amid the chestnut curls and pressed Joe\u2019s head to his breast.\u00a0 Joe tried to pull free of the restraining arms, but the gentleman held him securely.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s just great\u2026I\u2019ll be the only boy there with no father\u2026but hey\u2026who cares\u2026I don\u2019t have a mother either\u2026not that my father would even care how I feel about that!\u00a0 To hell with the dinner, I won\u2019t even go, and to hell with my\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0to hell with my\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

to<\/em> hell with my\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cPA!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sound of his voice joggled Joe from his nightmare as he bolted upright, shivering.\u00a0 He glanced over at his father who slept soundly, letting out a long sigh as he layed back down.\u00a0 For several moments Joe lay staring up at the ceiling, recounting the events that had manifested themselves through his nightmare.\u00a0 It had been a hard time, then.\u00a0 His father had been so busy, too busy to have time for him, Joe recollected.\u00a0 Fighting to get his heavy breathing under control, Joe\u2019s thoughts continued to wander.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He had made a deal with his father\u2019s friend, a plan to get back at his father for ignoring him and for failing to be home when Joe thought he needed his father the most.\u00a0 The plan had been to hide out, let his older brothers worry and then when they had been unable to find him, they would send a message to their father, who had gone to Carson City for a trial.\u00a0 Ben would be frantic and hurry home, which he had.\u00a0 But in the mean time, things had not gone, as they should have.\u00a0 Joe found himself bound tightly with ropes that cut into his flesh and alone in a cabin deep in the mountains.\u00a0 He had been frightened, and so ashamed of himself, of the things he had said about his father, the thoughts that been so horrible that even now, years later, caused Joe to shiver and hang his head in shame.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rising from the cot, he moved until he was sitting down on the edge of his father\u2019s bed.\u00a0 Ben was still sleeping.\u00a0 His pale face had begun to retain some of the more nature coloring and Joe noted that his father seemed to be breathing easier.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was such a pain back then, wasn\u2019t I?\u201d he muttered, hanging his head low.\u00a0 \u201cI was a little fool, to think you didn\u2019t care.\u00a0 You\u2019ve always cared, haven\u2019t you?\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s lips twisted into a tiny smile.\u00a0 \u201cI suppose deep down, I always knew you cared, deeply, I was just so\u2026mixed up\u2026I couldn\u2019t see it.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t see how much misery I caused you by the dumb things I was always doing, and all the trouble I was always getting into.\u00a0 I was\u2026self-absorbed.\u00a0 God Pa\u2026no wonder your hair is so\u2026white\u2026it looks like silver,\u201d Joe said as he gently brushed back a lock of the silver hair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Joe sat, holding tightly to his father\u2019s hand, Will Harding\u2019s face flashed before his eyes.\u00a0 Unconsciously, Joe flinched.\u00a0 The man who had once been his father\u2019s friend had beaten him, badly.\u00a0 The man, who even yet, Joe hated, had died after a plunge down the side of ravine.\u00a0 Joe had fallen as well, but miraculously had survived.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe glanced down at Ben\u2019s face, recalling the instant that he had known that his father had found him.\u00a0 He shut his eyes, hearing again the sound of the deep voice calling to him as he struggled to return to the present, where his father waited with all the love for him that his father held in his heart, showing in Ben\u2019s brown eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph\u2026son, your Pa\u2019s here now\u2026<\/h1>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026I\u2019m here son,\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

And then Joe heard his own voice, \u201cPa\u2026please\u2026hold me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

He felt his father\u2019s arms about him, the kiss that Ben had placed on his head, and the words\u2026an assurance\u2026\u201cJoe\u2026everything is going to be alright, I promise son.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

And then his father\u2019s declaration something that to this day, he had not forgotten.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI love you son\u2026more than life itself.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe brought his father\u2019s hand up to his lips and gazing down, his eyes fixed on his father\u2019s face, kissed the hand of the man whom Joe Cartwright loved equally as much as the man loved his son.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

By the forth day, Joe was practically beyond going.\u00a0 Ben was slowly improving and though his fever was down, he was still in no condition to get out of bed.\u00a0 Joe was in the kitchen, standing by the stove attempting to fix himself a bite to eat.\u00a0 He had seen to his father\u2019s needs, listened while Ben grumbled about having nothing to eat but broth, broth and more broth. Joe had tried to keep from snickering when his father proclaimed that he hated the stuff and cursed softly, Hop Sing for having found the recipe in the first place, but his giggles had filled the room just the same.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben had smiled and then drifted back to sleep.\u00a0 Joe noted the expressions that showed themselves on his father\u2019s face and knew without having to ask, that Ben was suffering; that the pain he tried to hide from his son when awake, revealed itself while he slept.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe, weary from having to care for his father while trying to tend to the chickens, and the milk cow, leaned heavily against the barn door.\u00a0 He glanced across the yard at the house and wondered how on earth he would ever make it back.\u00a0 It had taken every ounce of his ebbing strength to come this far, and used nearly everything else that remained just to tend to what needed to be done in the barn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His body raged with a fever of its own.\u00a0 He had said nothing to his father, hiding his own illness, for he felt that Ben was in no shape to have to worry about anything other than himself and getting well, so Joe had kept quiet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was growing dark, leaving Joe with no other recourse than to make the dreaded walk back to the house.\u00a0 Drawing in a deep breath and standing with his weight supported by the crutch he\u2019d found in the closet, Joe took one staggering step forward, clenching his teeth to keep from crying out, and then took a second step and then a third before stopping to catch his breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The world before him began to spin and Joe swayed, losing his balance and dropping the crutch under his arm.\u00a0 Everything seemed to twirl around, faster and faster and Joe found himself spinning along with the trees and the house, the corral and barn and then everything within his vision went black.\u00a0 With a muffled cry of agony that billowed up from deep within his throat, Joe crumbled to the ground, lost in a swirling world of nothingness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLooky Adam, ain\u2019t that Doc Martin\u2019s buggy?\u201d questioned Hoss as he and Adam rode into the yard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure looks like it,\u201d answered Adam as he dismounted.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s probably here to check on Pa and Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s about time for those casts to come off,\u201d he said, tying Sport\u2019s reins to the hitching post.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He grinned at Hoss over the top of his saddle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI still say those two planned this whole thing.\u00a0 We mention roundup, Joe breaks a leg and Pa breaks an arm.\u00a0 We ride home after working our butts off for nearly two weeks, to find the doc\u2019s buggy in the yard\u2026and I guarantee when we go inside, we\u2019ll find them both with no casts.\u00a0 Just too convenient if you ask me,\u201d snickered Adam, though he didn\u2019t believe for one minute that either his father, or Joe planned any such thing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss laughed and nodded his head in agreement.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, but it sure is gonna be good to see\u2019em again.\u00a0 I sorta missed the little scamp and Pa too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI did too, Hoss, but lets not tell them, I wouldn\u2019t want Joe\u2019s head to start to swelling,\u201d joked Adam as he walked with Hoss toward the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss opened the door and entered in front of his older brother.\u00a0 Pausing at the credenza, he removed his hat, tossed his bedroll on the table and glanced at Adam, wearing an odd look on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAwfully quiet,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re probable upstairs,\u201d Adam said after depositing his belongings.\u00a0 \u201cCome on.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam led the way with Hoss following close behind.\u00a0 At the top of the stairs, Adam paused, grabbing Hoss\u2019 arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2026is that racket?\u201d he asked in a whispered voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSounds like a wounded animal and it\u2019s comin\u2019 from Joe\u2019s room,\u201d answered Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Both hurried down the hall to Joe\u2019s room, pushing the door wide without the courtesy of knocking first.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss came to a halt in the doorway, their brains not quite registering what they were seeing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Doc Martin was practically in the bed, attempting to keep Joe from getting up.\u00a0 It was obvious to both that their younger brother was putting up a fight that the doctor was slowly loosing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDoc?\u201d Adam called, entering the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul Martin glanced over his shoulder at the pair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank God\u2026get over here and help me!\u201d he practically shouted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss snapped into action.\u00a0 Each grabbed one of Joe\u2019s shoulders and forced their younger brother back, down into the bed.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s struggles came to a halt at last and he drifted off into a troublesome sleep.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss turned to the good doctor.\u00a0 \u201cWhat in the world\u2019s goin\u2019 on, Doc, what happened to\u2019em?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s burning up with fever,\u201d Adam said, pressing his hand to Joe\u2019s forehead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Adam.\u00a0 He\u2019s been like this for three days now\u2026\u201d Paul explained as he returned to the bed to check Joe\u2019s pulse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u00a0 What about Pa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour father is mending fine, Joe did an excellent job of removing that bullet from Ben\u2019s shoulder\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBULLET?\u201d Hoss said loudly, glancing at Adam with a worried look.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry boys, I guess I forgot that you\u2019ve been gone.\u00a0 I came by to check on Ben and Joe on\u2026I think it was Tuesday and I found Joe unconscious, in the yard.\u00a0 His cast had been broken and was no longer on his leg.\u00a0 He had a fever then, just not quite as high as it is now.\u00a0 I found Ben on the landing\u2026apparently from what little he was able to tell me, he had called for Joe, but when Joe didn\u2019t respond, I suppose Ben got worried and went looking for him.\u00a0 Your father said he looked out the window and saw Joe lying on the ground, and well\u2026you know your father\u2026he was determined to get to the boy.\u00a0 He made it as far as the landing before he passed out\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou said bullet\u2026that means, Pa must have been shot\u2026who shot him?\u201d demanded Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThugs looking for money.\u00a0 Ben said they were robbed, about four days after you left.\u00a0 They worked your brother over pretty good, busted the cast off Joe\u2019s leg and shot Ben.\u00a0 Joe tried to go for help, but they ran all the horses off and with Joe\u2019s leg broken and Ben lying upstairs with a bullet wound to the shoulder, there was no way to go for help. \u00a0I imagine Joe did the only thing he could do, and that was to remove the bullet himself.\u00a0 Poor kid, he must have been scared stiff, afraid he\u2019d end up killing his own pa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When I saw how badly they both were, well\u2026I\u2019ll tell you boys, it was just by the grace of God that I happened by when I did.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam, his eyes dark, felt a growing hate festering deep down inside.\u00a0 He rose from the bed where he had sat next to his brother and looked over at Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go have a talk with Pa,\u201d he said with a tone that warned his middle brother that he was seething with unbridled anger.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam started toward the door, but was stopped when Paul reached out and touched his arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, Ben\u2019s had an extra hard day, he\u2019s been with Joe for the most part, and naturally would not go back to bed, so I\u2026slipped him a sleeping powder.\u00a0 He\u2019ll be madder than a wounded grizzly when he wakes up and realizes what I\u2019ve done, but he was totally spent.\u00a0 I felt I was doing the right thing and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss grinned and slapped the doctor on the back.\u00a0 \u201cYa did right, Doc\u2026I know how Pa is when it comes to that cub over there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll just go peek in at him, Hoss why don\u2019t you sit with Joe and Paul, you look like hell, why don\u2019t you go downstairs and make use of that spare bedroom for awhile?\u201d offered Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSounds good to me,\u201d agreed Paul.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, Joe\u2019s been mumbling all along\u2026strange things\u2026things I reckon he\u2019s trying to tell your father.\u00a0 And at times he becomes combatant, so just make sure he stays in that bed.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had to re-break his leg and set it again, it was a mess.\u00a0 And it set up a slight infection, but that\u2019s slowly getting better, his system seems to be fighting it off.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing\u2026Adam\u2019ll be here to help me, ya just get some rest,\u201d Hoss said, pulling a chair close to the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The physician turned to leave, but stopped and looked back at Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss\u2026just so you\u2019ll know\u2026Roy\u2019s been informed and is doing everything he can to find those men\u2026Ben said there were four of them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAny idey who they were?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026Ben just said that the one who seemed to be the leader called one of the men, Blake and this Blake fellow called him Sam.\u00a0 Your father had no idea who they were, though he did say that the one called Sam, seemed to know who he was,\u201d Paul explained.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019d they get, besides all the guns?\u201d the big man asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour pa said there was $10,000 in the safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe money for the cattle drive,\u201d Adam said from the doorway.\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2019s still sleeping, just like you said,\u201d Adam informed the doctor.\u00a0 \u201cI thought you were going to get some rest?\u201d he said to the doctor who stood in the same place as when Adam had gone to look in on his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going, right now.\u00a0 Call me if you need me,\u201d Paul said softly as he exited the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam moved to the edge of the bed so that he could get a better look at his youngest brother\u2019s face.\u00a0 With lips pinched tightly, he shook his head and then sat easily down on the side of the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe looks awfully pale.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026guess the poor little thing\u2019s had a pretty rough time of it, what with fightin\u2019 off varmints, operatin\u2019 on Pa, tendin\u2019 to the what stock there is\u2026not to mention havin\u2019 to hobble about with a broke leg that ain\u2019t got no cast on it,\u201d Hoss said with a deep sigh.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam made a snorting sound and glanced over at Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cThose \u2018varmints\u2019, as you called them, had better keep running, cause as soon as the scamp here is well enough, I\u2019m going looking for those men.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss noted the dark scowl on his brother\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cNot without me, ya ain\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNO! NO PA, PLEASE\u2026I\u2019ll be good, I promise!\u201d screamed Joe.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWell young man?\u00a0 Adam tells me you\u2019ve been fighting.\u00a0 Would you like to explain yourself, again?\u201d questioned Ben watching the inner struggle his youngest was putting himself through.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNO?\u201d shouted Ben as he took Joe by the arm and led him to the chair on the front side of his desk facing the great room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust what kind of answer is that, young man?\u00a0 Never mind, you can just sit right there until you can come up with a better explanation than that!\u00a0 Don\u2019t you dare get up from that chair until I tell you, you may.\u201d\u00a0 Ben turned his back and stomped away from Joe, leaving Joe alone and heartbroken with his fears and doubts.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s head began tossing back and forth, and he mumbled softly.\u00a0 Adam rose from his chair and bent down over his brother.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s forehead still felt hot to the palm of his hand and he pressed his lips tightly together.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome on Joe, you have to fight this thing, Pal,\u201d Adam whispered softly, knowing full well Joe could not hear his encouraging words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs he still hot?\u201d Ben said as he walked slowly into the room and over to the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam glanced over his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cPa, you shouldn\u2019t be out of bed, Paul said you were to stay put and rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben, dressed in his bed jacket and slippers, one arm folded across his chest in a sling, sat down on the edge of the bed, across from Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know full well what Paul said, but Joe\u2026needs me,\u201d Ben said lowly as he picked up Joe\u2019s hand and held it lovingly in his.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He smiled up at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cYour kid brother saved my life,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled as well and answered in a low voice.\u00a0 \u201cI know, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam watched the play of emotions that danced across his father\u2019s face and wondered what the elder Cartwright was thinking right at the moment, for Ben was gazing down into his youngest son\u2019s face and wore a strange expression.\u00a0 Adam saw his father\u2019s eyes mist slightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026Joe\u2019s going to be alright,\u201d he said calmly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His father turned tear filled eyes upward to glance at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know, but\u2026I just hate to see him like this.\u00a0 He must have been suffering something terrible for days before he finally collapsed in the yard.\u00a0 He had so much on his shoulders, trying to care for me, taking care of the stock\u2026no cast on his leg\u2026he must have been in horrific pain, but he refused to give up on me, or leave me,\u201d Ben explained to Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd, he keeps trying to tell me something.\u00a0 When I was out of my head, I could hear him talking, but my mind was just too boggled to understand what it was he wanted me to know.\u00a0 Now, he\u2019s all boggled up and still trying to get his message to me.\u00a0 I just wish I knew what was going on inside that head of his.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben brushed is fingers lightly through the thick mass of dark curls and Adam heard his father make a sniffling sound.\u00a0 Giving his father time to collect himself, Adam excused himself momentarily from the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSupper ready, come to table now,\u201d called Hop Sing as he placed the last serving plate onto the table.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe let out a long sigh, his stomach hurt from all the worry and he was hungry.\u00a0 He started to rise but his father\u2019s booming voice stopped him cold.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot you young man; sit!\u201d Ben ordered, pointing to the chair that Joe had just vacated.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d whispered Hoss shocked after eyeing Joe and the unhappy expression on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind Hoss, just go eat your supper,\u201d Ben instructed in a calm quiet voice as he glanced over his shoulder at his youngest son who squirmed uncomfortably in his chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s hallucination caused his body to tremble as he relived the incident through his dream.\u00a0 His mind was lost somewhere in no-man\u2019s land and the visions that flashed before his eyes pulled him backward into time to when he was younger and had lived his life in such a way that he felt his father\u2019s wrath more than his parent\u2019s love, which he craved.\u00a0 Even in his nightmarish image, Joe blamed himself for all the worry he\u2019d caused his father over the course of his lifetime.\u00a0 No wonder Ben had wanted to send him away\u2026or so he thought at the time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, are you ready to explain yourself now?\u201d asked Ben in a calm voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He hated seeing his son, as he looked now, sad, forlorn and very near tears.\u00a0 The sight broke his heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe refused to look at his father and turned his head to the side.\u00a0 Ben gently took his son\u2019s face in his hand and turned it upward.\u00a0 He could feel the quivering chin, and see the unshed tears that threatened to overflow and his anger at this unhappy child vanished.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph\u2026\u201d began Ben but stopped short when Joe\u2019s tone of voice suddenly turned nasty.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat difference does it make?\u00a0 You don\u2019t really care why I was fighting, none of you do.\u00a0 All you care about is getting rid of me, so why should I bother to explain anything to you?\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to be here much longer anyway, so what does it matter if you whip my butt?\u201d cried Little Joe in a loud squeaky voice, his chin quivering, the tears that had filled his eyes began trickling down his cheeks.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d said Ben calmly.\u00a0 \u201cWhat in thunder are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh come on Pa,\u201d he ranted,\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t treat me like I was a half-wit.\u00a0 You know darn well what I mean, you and Adam have had it planned for days now.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t think I knew, but I over heard the two of you talking, but guess what?\u00a0 I don\u2019t give a damn.\u00a0 I want to go; in fact, I can\u2019t wait to get away from here.\u00a0 Anywhere would be better than staying here with you and them,\u201d Joe pointed to his brothers, \u201cI don\u2019t care, you got that?\u00a0 I said I don\u2019t care!\u00a0 I could care less where you send me.\u00a0 Just remember I don\u2019t care.\u00a0 I\u2026I\u2026Oh Pa, why?\u00a0 Why are you doing this to me?\u201d wept Joe bitterly as he slumped to his knees in tears.\u00a0 \u201cPlease let me stay\u2026don\u2019t make me go\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat and watched the closed eyelids flicker and then Joe seemed to come out of his retreat as he bolted up right, screaming as tears coursed their way down his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026NO\u2026please Pa\u2026I\u2019m sorry, I\u2019m sorry\u2026I don\u2019t want to go\u2026I want to stay here, with you and Adam and Hoss.\u00a0 Please\u2026don\u2019t send me away!\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go to military school\u2026I\u2019m sorry, for being bad\u2026hones; I\u2019ll be good\u2026PA! PA!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s loud outburst brought Hoss and Adam running into the room.\u00a0 They were startled to find Ben sitting on the bed, holding Joe in a tight embrace against his chest.\u00a0 Ben was running his hand through Joe\u2019s curls and speaking in a low, soft tone, trying to comfort the confused young man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShh\u2026Joseph, Pa\u2019s here.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sending you away son\u2026you\u2019re just dreaming, that\u2019s all,\u201d purred Ben in his deep soothing voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He glanced up at Adam and Hoss as they gathered around the bed, joining him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s dreaming\u2026he must be remembering the time when he overheard us talking Adam, about suggesting to Matthew Talburt\u2019s father of sending him to military school.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026and Joe thought ya was talkin\u2019 about him.\u00a0 Poor kid, he sure thought he was a goner,\u201d Hoss said, watching as Joe\u2019s eyes slowly began to focus.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s comin\u2019 around Pa,\u201d Hoss said, smiling.\u00a0 \u201cHi Shortshanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHi,\u201d Joe said weakly.\u00a0 \u201cWhen\u2026did you get\u2026home?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss glanced at his father, unsure of just how much he should be saying.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cA couple days of go son,\u201d Ben said, gently forcing Joe back down against the pillows.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa! You\u2019re alright!\u201d Joe said, forcing a smile once he realized that his father was the one who had been holding him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI should be, you saved my life\u2026don\u2019t you remember?\u201d Ben said with a smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh\u2026yeah\u2026the bullet\u2026how\u2019s your shoulder?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSore, but Doc Martin said you did an excellent job of operating.\u201d\u00a0 Ben snickered softly.\u00a0 \u201cHe said he thinks you missed your calling, you should have been a surgeon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe closed his eyes for a minute and then re-opened them.\u00a0 \u201cNot me\u2026I got sick and had to puke about four times,\u201d he said with a grin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss laughed lightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can skin a deer, pluck a turkey, clean a fish, gut a bear\u2026yet you can\u2019t dig something as tiny as a pellet out of a man\u2019s shoulder?\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong with you kid?\u201d teased Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing\u2026if it were any other man but my own father.\u00a0 You have no idea how scared I was!\u201d Joe admitted truthfully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s all over now and\u2026I thank you son\u2026I might not be here now if it weren\u2019t for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled down at his most precious of life\u2019s gifts and was rewarded with a returned gesture.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m the one who should be saying thanks, not you,\u201d Joe whispered in a thick voice.\u00a0 \u201cOr rather, I\u2019m sorry\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry?\u00a0 Why, I don\u2019t understand, Joseph?\u201d Ben said puzzled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been having crazy dreams ever since all this started and they were about the times that I\u2019ve caused you to be worried or angry because of me and all the foolish things I\u2019ve done over the years.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how you put up with me,\u201d Joe smiled slightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou are my son\u2026I have to put up with you,\u201d Ben said teasingly and then laughed softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI love you Joseph\u2026you are flesh of my flesh\u2026you\u2026and Adam and Hoss, are all three my life\u2019s most treasured possessions. \u00a0You boys are my life-blood, my beginning and my end\u2026my goals and my accomplishments\u2026you are my destinies\u2026my pride and my joys.\u00a0 You three have made me who I am today\u2026without you, I am nothing, I have nothing\u2026it would have all been in vain\u2026for nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben paused and smiled at all three of them.\u00a0 \u201cI wouldn\u2019t have traded it for the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNone of it?\u201d Joe asked in a low voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNone\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026so many times I\u2019ve wanted to tell you how sorry I was for always being such a\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t say it Joe\u2026I\u2019ve already told you how I feel about you.\u00a0 The things you\u2019ve done in the past, that were mistakes, have long been forgiven and forgotten.\u00a0 You have no need to apologize to me for any of it\u2026not again; you do not have to atone to me for past mistakes.\u00a0 Besides, saving my life should be atonement enough, don\u2019t you think?\u201d laughed Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was finding it hard to form words, for suddenly they became stuck in the back of this throat.\u00a0 He could only smile and nod his head, which he did. Minutes later Joe was sleeping, this time more peacefully and unburdened of his past sins\u2026mistakes his father had called them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLooky there, Pa\u2026Joe\u2019s smilin\u2019,\u201d whispered Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIndeed he is, come on, let\u2019s go downstairs, we need to discuss some things,\u201d Ben suggested.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss rose and started toward the door, where they stopped and looked back at their father.\u00a0 Ben was tucking the blankets around Joe and when he leaned down to place a kiss on the boy\u2019s brow, the two older brothers swapped knowing glances.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you think?\u00a0 Hoss and I could start looking.\u00a0 Roy said the sheriff in Carson City wired him that there were four men fitting the description of the ones who robbed you and said that those four seemed to have a mighty fat payroll, considering they were drifters.\u00a0 We could start there, if you\u2019ve a mind to,\u201d Adam explained to his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know; it might be best to let Roy handle this.\u00a0 Besides, you just got home from round-up, and with the cattle drive coming up, I think I\u2019d rather have you home for awhile,\u201d Ben explained, though he didn\u2019t give Adam his real reasons for not wanting his two sons to leave so soon after just getting home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t put words to his fears\u2026about them leaving again, right away, or about he and Joe being left behind.\u00a0 Not that he feared the intruders would return, but that something deep down inside of him made him want to take precautions about their safety and that of Joe\u2019s who still had weeks to go before he\u2019d be fully recovered, now that the doctor had to re-break and set his leg.\u00a0 He needed Adam and Hoss for the cattle drive.\u00a0 By the time that the cattle drive would be over, would be soon enough to concentrate on finding the ones responsible for disrupting their lives.\u00a0 His sons\u2019 welfare far exceeded the $10,000 that was stolen from his safe.\u00a0 Money he could acquire, sons he could not.\u00a0 And he still felt vulnerable, having come so close to dying and then having to watch his youngest son struggling to stay alive as well.\u00a0 The memory of the man holding the gun to Joe\u2019s temple flashed before his eyes and caused Ben to shiver.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed deeply and sought to change the subject; he turned to Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid Roy happen to mention whether or not the wire said who those particular men might be?\u201d questioned Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYep, Blackie Watson\u2026\u201d began Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBLACKIE WATSON?\u201d Ben all but shouted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The thought that suddenly things had changed flickered across Ben\u2019s thoughts. He rose to his feet and began to pace back and forth in front of the fireplace.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo wonder he knew me\u2026\u201d Ben turned back to face the pair whose eyes followed him across the room.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t recognize him, especially when the others called him Sam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2026I mean, do you know this fellow?\u201d inquired Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI knew the young man\u2019s father.\u00a0 It was a long time ago, Adam, when Blackie, his real name was Sam, but his pa always called him Blackie, but back then, Sam was just a young boy.\u00a0 His father robbed a bank\u2026story was, he needed money for Blackie\u2019s mother, she was very sick and needed an operation, the only way he could ever raise the money to pay for the surgery was to rob the bank.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf I\u2019d only known, I would have been more than willing to help Chester out, but\u2026well, anyway, Chester robbed the bank and I was one of a dozen men who went after him.\u00a0 He ended up killing two men in the posse, so he had to face murder charges as well.\u00a0 I was a witness at his trial to the robbery and the shootings, reluctantly, but nonetheless.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chester was found guilty and was sentenced to hang.\u00a0 His wife had taken a turn for the worse and I asked the judge for a stay of execution, which was granted.\u00a0 The day after Mrs. Watson wasburied, Chester was hung for his crimes.\u00a0 Blackie blamed me for his father\u2019s death and even though he was only about ten at the time, he swore to me that he\u2019d make me pay someday\u2026guess that day came.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat down on the wide boarded table in front of the fireplace, lost in thought.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen this Blackie fella really did mean to kill you\u2026after he robbed you?\u201d Hoss questioned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose,\u201d Ben muttered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019d he know about the money in the safe?\u201d Adam asked.\u00a0 \u201cSomeone had to tell him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s right, and besides, Pa, how did this fella know we\u2019d be gone?\u00a0 He must have had inside information,\u201d Hoss suggested.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stared at Hoss with a look of shock on his handsome face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut who?\u00a0 The only ones that knew we\u2019d be gone are men who work for us!\u201d added Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right Hoss, but there\u2019s something else to consider.\u00a0 If what you suggest is true, then Blackie will find out that\u2026I\u2019m not dead!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd he\u2019ll come back,\u201d finished Hoss, rising and taking up his father\u2019s pacing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No one said a word for several long moments as Hoss paced back and forth, stopping in front of Adam, who sat in Ben\u2019s red chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe cain\u2019t go, Adam.\u00a0 We cain\u2019t leave Pa and Joe here alone again, not until those varmints are caught,\u201d he said in a stern, worried voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you think I know that?\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t think of leaving right now anyway, not with Joe in the shape he\u2019s in, and Pa\u2026even with his cast off, he\u2019s barely able to use his arm.\u00a0 They\u2019d be sitting ducks if Blackie and his men decided to return.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen we\u2019ll stay,\u201d confirmed Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll stay\u2026and we\u2019ll be ready, should they decide to try again,\u201d vowed Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWould you two mind not talking about me as if I weren\u2019t even here?\u00a0 I, for obvious reasons cannot go on the cattle drive, I\u2019d never leave Joe alone, but the two of you ARE going!\u00a0 Joe and I will be just fine, now that we know about Blackie, I\u2019ll keep some of the men here to help keep an eye out on things,\u201d advised Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam swapped glances with Hoss and then turned to their father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd just who might they be?\u00a0 How do you know that the informer might be among the men you keep here?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll keep only those trusted employees that have worked for me for more than a year\u2026men I know I can depend on,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEnough talk,\u201d he said as he stood to his feet and stretched, \u201cI think I\u2019ll go check on your brother.\u00a0 I don\u2019t like to leave him alone for too long, not with those crazy dreams he\u2019s been having.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben started toward the steps and stopped, turning back. Hoss and Adam noted the smile on their father\u2019s face and the light note to his tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m proud of your brother, for what he\u2019s done\u2026saving my life, taking care of me and our home while I was unable to help him.\u00a0 For whatever reason, perhaps unknown to even him as to why he has been having these dreams, I find if most endearing that he has attempted to make atonement to me for his passed\u2026misdemeanors,\u201d smiled Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt speaks highly of his family values and his devotion,\u201d said Ben with a touch of pride in his voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEither he loves you dearly, which I know he does\u2026or his conscious has been playing havoc with his heart,\u201d laughed Adam lightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe it\u2019s a little of both,\u201d suggested Hoss as he watched his father\u2019s expression.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEither way, I\u2019m sure the scamp was scared somethin\u2019 would happen and he\u2019d never get the chance to set things right with ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps you\u2019re both right\u2026but nonetheless, I cherish the thoughts that his dreams evoked,\u201d said Ben with a faraway look in his eye.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben slowly made his way up the stairs as Adam and Hoss watched.\u00a0 When their father disappeared around the corner Adam turned to Hoss, grinning.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI have the distinct feeling that our silver haired daddy would have stopped with just one child, had Joseph Francis been the first born,\u201d he laughed good-naturedly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss, with a puzzled look on his face, scrunched up his nose, as his chubby face broke apart with a wide grin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYa reckon?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam tossed back his head and laughed, \u201cYeah big guy, I reckon!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

THE END<\/p>\n

April 2004<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t end here\u2026good has yet to overcome the bad\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Next in the That Silver-Haired Daddy Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 Ben’s near death experience is cause for Joe to want to make atonement for his past misdemeanors.<\/p>\n

Rated G \u00a0WC 12,600<\/p>\n

That Silver-Haired Daddy Series, links to stories within the series are included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9052,"featured_media":14565,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[23,1008,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12272","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-family","category-hurtcomfort","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1008-id","wpcat-41-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_2126.jpg?fit=844%2C609&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12272","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/9052"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12272"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12272\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/14565"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12272"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12272"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12272"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

An Arm and a Leg<\/a><\/p>\n