Summary:<\/b> \u00a0When 14-year-old Little Joe over hears a conversation between his father and two older brothers, Joe’s world begins to crumble as he struggles to make right his wrongs.<\/p>\n
Rated PG \u00a0WC 11,900<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Silent Heartache<\/strong><\/p>\n The day was just beginning<\/strong> and Little Joe dreaded the thoughts of another day at school.\u00a0 It had been a bad week, he had gotten into two fights already with Matthew Talburt, and luckily for him and his backside, Pa had let the first fight go with just a warning.\u00a0 But now, after being caught in the second fight with the same boy, the fourteen-year old had been denied his privileges and had been restricted for the next two weeks to the ranch.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018The ranch<\/em>,\u2019 sighed Joe, \u2018the yard<\/em> would be more like it.<\/em>\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He was mad too because both fights had not been his fault, Matthew had said unkind and hurting things about his family, things that Little Joe would not let be said without putting up a defense in his family\u2019s honor.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe paused at the top of the step to pull his pants leg from the top of his boot.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know Pa, what do you think?\u201d Adam asked his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s brothers were already sitting at the table with their father by the time that Joe had paused at the step and were already deep into a conversation.\u00a0 Not meaning to eavesdrop, Joe tugged again on the leg of his pants and smoothed down the fabric.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, I know the boy has been into an undue amount of trouble here lately.\u00a0 His fighting is getting out of hand,\u201d commented Ben as he sipped his coffee.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNot to mention all the problems he\u2019s been causing at home,\u201d chipped in Hoss as he stuffed a forkful of scrambled eggs into his mouth.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t think he\u2019s doing as well as he could be at school either Pa.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s time that something was done, otherwise the boy is either going to fail his class for the year or get himself into some pretty bad trouble,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe pulled himself up straight and froze, listening to the conversation going on between his father and brothers.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t believe his ears, it sounded as if his family was picking him to pieces and it bothered him the way in which they were talking about him behind his back.\u00a0 He started to make his presence known to them, to stop the idle chatter, but his oldest brother\u2019s next comment halted his descent.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMilitary school.\u201d\u00a0 Adam said matter-of-factly sat his fork down gently on the red flowered china plate.\u00a0 \u201cI think that would be the best for him, make a man out of him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss raised his head and stared wide-eyed at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cMilitary school?\u00a0 Aw\u2026come on Adam, isn\u2019t that a bit much for the boy?\u00a0 He\u2019d never want to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHoss,\u201d said Ben, \u201cit isn\u2019t a matter of what the boy wants to do, it\u2019s more a matter of what is best for the boy.\u00a0 And I think Adam\u2019s right, military school is a good idea.\u00a0 I like that Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSo do I.\u00a0 I think four years in a controlled and regulated program is just what the boy needs.\u00a0 He will come home a man, no doubt about that.\u00a0 And,\u201d he smiled, \u201cthey will make sure he stays out of trouble, his schooling will be much more advanced, and he will learn discipline.\u00a0 Which we all agree he needs.\u00a0 We could all benefit from his absence.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded his head, \u201cYes, that\u2019s true and he does need all those things you mentioned.\u00a0 Adam, why don\u2019t you send some letters and see what is available and find out what is required.\u00a0 In the meantime, I think we should keep this just between the three of us.\u00a0 No sense in rocking the boat before we have too.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa,\u201d started Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben gave Hoss a dark look and Hoss dropped his head.\u00a0 \u201cI mean it son, this is to be just between us.\u00a0 We will tell the boy when we have made the arrangements, until then, not a word, understand?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss\u2019 sad expression told his father everything that Ben needed to know in regards to his displeasure of the idea.\u00a0 \u201cYes sir, but I can\u2019t imagine any fourteen year old who would want to be sent away from his family like that\u2026and for four years.\u00a0 Golly Moses Pa, that\u2019s an awful long time.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben reached across the table and rested his hand on his son\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cI know that Hoss, but it is for the best.\u00a0 The lad needs some stern discipline, and think of the advantages that will come from the superior schooling he\u2019ll be getting.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry son, it\u2019ll all work out, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe felt the hot sting of tears as his stomach flopped over.\u00a0 His heart began to beat rapidly and Joe felt as if he were smothering.\u00a0 His pa was making arrangements to send him away, and he owed Adam all the thanks for thinking of it.\u00a0 Military school<\/em> groaned Joe as the tears slipped slowly down his cheeks.\u00a0 He hated the idea, and he hated his older brother for suggesting it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe fought to control his anger and his heartache.\u00a0 He yearned to run to them; to scream and beg, plead if need be to be allowed to stay with his family.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to go away and he didn\u2019t want to be sent away.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t they care?\u00a0\u00a0 His heart cried out in agony at the thoughts of being separated from his family for four long years.\u00a0 He knew Adam had gone away to college and had been gone for a long time, but that was his brother, thought Joe.\u00a0 Adam had wanted to leave home, to further his education, but me, screamed Joe silently.\u00a0All I ever wanted to do was learn ranching and live forever on the Ponderosa with my father and brothers and to raise the best horses in the country.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Oh God, please Pa, please, don\u2019t send me away,<\/em> whispered Joe softly to himself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam, would you please call your brother?\u00a0 He\u2019s going to be late for school if he doesn\u2019t hurry up,\u201d asked Ben as he wiped his mouth with the red checkered napkin.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe quickly dried his eyes and composed himself the best he could.\u00a0 He hurried on down the steps acting as if nothing was amiss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMorning Pa,\u201d greeted Joe with a forced smile on his face.\u00a0 \u201cHowdy Adam, Hoss,\u201d he chirped and slid into his chair purposely avoiding looking at his family.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGood morning to you,\u201d smiled Ben and glanced at his older sons.\u00a0 It was seldom that Joseph was in such a cheerful mood this early in the morning and before breakfast too, thought Ben to himself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI gotta hurry Pa.\u00a0 I promised Mitch I would meet him before school so I could help him with his arithmetic.\u00a0 He\u2019s having problems with his fractions and I said I would help him,\u201d Joe said and hurried to fill his plate, though eating was the last thing on his mind.\u00a0 As badly as his stomach was hurting, he doubted he could do justice with the food he heaped on his plate.\u00a0 Joe stopped when he felt all eyes on him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d he asked and then searched each face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAre you sure you got enough?\u201d asked Adam, grinning.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe, dish and spoon poised in mid air, glanced at his oldest brother and thought how much he would like to wipe that smirk off his face, but grinned instead and looked down at his plate.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI guess I got carried away,\u201d he said sheepishly and put the serving spoon back onto the plate and placed both back down on the table.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Quickly Joe turned his attention to his breakfast and gobbled down as fast as he could, what he hoped would satisfy his father. Joe grabbed his glass of milk and gulped it quickly, wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his shirt.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph!\u201d scolded Ben.\u00a0 \u201cCan\u2019t you please use your napkin, for heaven\u2019s sake?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh, sorry Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Joe cast anxious eyes at his father, worried that he had scored another mark against his name for his bad table manners.\u00a0 Joe was determined to improve himself in all areas of his life in hopes that by the time that Adam had written and sent the letters and received answers, his behavior would be so improved that his father would think differently about sending him away.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMay I go now?\u201d asked the boy softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe met his father\u2019s eyes and quickly dropped his head.\u00a0 It hurt to see the man he loved more than anyone else in the whole world look at him and know that this man was sending him hundreds of miles away from his family and his home.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe felt his throat constrict and swallowed the fear he felt rising from deep down in his soul.\u00a0 \u2018I love you Pa,\u2019 <\/em>his heart cried out.\u00a0 \u2018I don\u2019t want to leave you, I want to stay here and make you proud of me.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Son, are you all right?\u201d said Ben when he saw the expression change on his son\u2019s face.\u00a0 Ben placed his hand over Joe\u2019s, catching Joe\u2019s attention at last.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIs something wrong son?\u201d asked Ben worried that Joe might have taken sick.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe glanced around the table and saw his family watching him and it unnerved him somewhat for he saw the concerned looks on their faces.\u00a0 \u2018Probably afraid I\u2019ll get sick and<\/em> not be able to go to that damn military school Adam is trying to send me to,<\/em>\u2019 thought Joe sadly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes found Adam\u2019s and Joe turned his head, unable to hold his stance.\u00a0 He was angry with his brother, the hurt that he felt towards the one who wanted to send him packing was hard to hide.\u00a0 Joe glanced again in Adam\u2019s direction and glared at his brother, taking the older boy by surprise.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine, don\u2019t concern yourself,\u201d he snapped and jumped from his seat and before any of them could question his motives he ran out the door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat was that all about?\u201d surmised Adam, stunned at his brother\u2019s look of distaste.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBeats me.\u00a0 What\u2019d ya say to him?\u201d asked Hoss as he pushed back from the table.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSAY?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t say anything to him.\u00a0 Pa just asked him if he was feeling all right and he bites my head off!\u201d\u00a0 Adam rose from his chair as well and tossed his napkin on the table.\u00a0\u201cThat boy will always be a wonder to me.\u00a0 I doubt if I will ever be able to figure out what makes him tic.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben laughed and joined his sons as they strapped on their gunbelts and reached for their hats.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s the pleasure of having a son like that little scamp.\u00a0 Life is always a mystery; you never know what to expect from him.\u00a0 You boys have a good day, I have book work to do.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe rode slowly to school, purposely taking his time and dreading having to face the long day.\u00a0 As he rode along, his mind became clouded and lost in troubled thoughts.\u00a0 He was worried about what he had over heard and he was frightened as well.\u00a0 He still found it hard to accept the fact that his father had gone along with his brother’s suggestion of sending him to military school.\u00a0 The more that Joe played with the idea, the more depressed that he became the more downhearted and lonely he felt.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Mitch was waiting for his friend when Joe finally pulled his horse to a stop and jumped down from the saddle.\u00a0 Immediately, Mitch saw the expression on his best friend\u2019s face, the sad look in the eyes that usually danced with mischief and he saw the way in which his friend\u2019s shoulders slumped.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHey, you look like you\u2019ve lost your best pal.\u00a0 But since I\u2019m still here, what\u2019s wrong with you this morning?\u00a0 Someone die?\u201d asked Mitch in a light voice that he hoped would make Joe smile.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe cast troubled eyes at his friend and shook his head sadly.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 Quickly Joe pulled his saddle from the back of his horse and tossed it over the railing with the blanket.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell?\u00a0 Ya gonna tell me what\u2019s eatin\u2019 at ya or not?\u201d questioned Mitch as he fell into step next to Joe walking with him on their way toward the schoolhouse.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAw\u2026come on Little Joe,\u201d Mitch stopped and grabbed Joe by the arm, spinning Joe around to face him.\u00a0 Instantly Mitch spied the tears that had gathered in his friend\u2019s eyes and softened his voice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHey Joe, buddy.\u00a0 It can\u2019t be that bad, can it?\u00a0 Ya ain\u2019t in trouble again already are ya?\u201d quizzed Mitch as he watched Joe struggle to keep the tears from wetting his face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe swiped the sleeves of his shirt across the front of this face to wipe away the dampness from the tears before they escaped.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I ain\u2019t in no trouble, least ways, not the kind you\u2019re referring to.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe began walking again, slowly to give Mitch time to catch up.\u00a0 \u201cWhat then?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stopped and turned to face the other boy. \u201cI don\u2019t wanna talk about it.\u00a0 You\u2019ll find out soon enough if Adam has his way about things.\u00a0 Now leave me alone, we\u2019re already late for class.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe hurried inside and took his place as Mitch followed, somewhat hurt by Joe\u2019s candid statement.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Miss Jones scowled at the two boys as she watched them taking their seats and noted the dejected expressions on both faces and briefly wondered what had put them there.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMitch, Joseph, you boys are late again.\u00a0 You will remain inside today at recess, is that understood?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Miss Jones had moved to stand in front of Joe\u2019s desk, making him squirm from the unwanted attention the teacher had drawn to him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes ma\u2019am,\u201d Joe said softly.\u00a0 He could care less about going outside.\u00a0 He\u2019d just have to face the others and in the mood he was in right now, he wanted no part in the prying questions he knew the others would ask of him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGood, now please class, let\u2019s get to work.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The morning dragged on but Joe was only vaguely aware of what was going on around him.\u00a0 His mind was miles from the classroom; his thoughts lost in the breeze that he watched sweeping through the tall pines just outside the classroom as he stared blankly out the window.\u00a0 His fears had taken root in his heart; his stomach churned non-stop as the thoughts of being separated from those he loved ate away at his reserve.\u00a0 Several times throughout the long morning, Joe had felt the tears bubble up in his eyes and had to wipe them away in a constant effort to keep them from spilling over.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Over and over in his mind Joe played again the scene he had witnessed before breakfast. He relived the past couple of weeks, searching for the one mistake that he had made that had been so terrible as to warrant being removed from his home.\u00a0 He knew his father had been angry with him about the fights, but he reasoned that his father had punished him so as always Joe had considered it over and done with.\u00a0 That\u2019s what Pa had always said at least.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He had mouthed off a few times to his older brother, but even then Pa had reprimanded him for it and he had even apologized to Adam for having been so rude.\u00a0 Adam had shaken his hand and told him to forget it, so he had.\u00a0 Surely Adam didn\u2019t still hold it against him?\u00a0 Joe knew there were times, probably too many times that he and his oldest brother did not see eye to eye on matters.\u00a0 But surely Adam wouldn\u2019t expect their father to send him away for four years just because he spoke his mind when he felt he had the right to do so?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe closed his eyes.\u00a0 His father\u2019s face flashed before his mind\u2019s eye and Joe had to swallow the lump that had suddenly threatened to choke off his airway.\u00a0 Joe felt as if he was smothering and he grasped his throat with his hand and opened his mouth to suck in much needed air.\u00a0 His head began to loll from side to side and when he jumped to his feet, thinking to race outside into the fresh air, he dropped to his knees.\u00a0 His hands fought to hold on to his desk as he slipped into the floor; the worries of his present world momentarily lost to the blackness that claimed him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe awoke to the sound of his name being whispered in his ear.\u00a0 His eyelids felt heavy, as if someone had placed coins over his eyes like he had once seen on a dead man.\u00a0 He struggled to come back from his realm of darkness, back to the light where he belonged.\u00a0 His eyes scanned the room confused as to where he was.\u00a0 The last thing he remembered was sitting in the stuffy classroom and trying to make it to the door for fresh air.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d Joe cried weakly and searched the worried faces that hovered above him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHey buddy,\u201d said Adam taking his brother\u2019s hand in his.\u00a0 \u201cCan you hear me Pal?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe closed his eyes tightly, the moisture that had collected in their depths seeping from beneath the long dark lashes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe don\u2019t cry, it\u2019s okay,\u201d whispered Adam giving Paul Martin, the town\u2019s physician a worried look.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam had ridden into town to mail the letters his father had asked him to write in regards to finding the military school.\u00a0 Adam had just left the sheriff\u2019s office where he had stopped in to say hello to Roy Coffee and was on his way to the saloon for a quick beer before starting home.\u00a0 Just as he had placed his hands on the double half doors of the entrance to the establishment, someone had called out his name.\u00a0 It was his brother\u2019s friend Mitch and it appeared that the boy was overly distressed about something.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam! Adam, ya better come quick,\u201d shouted Mitch from across the street where he stood waving his hand wildly in the air at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam hurried over to the boy and placed both hands on the lad\u2019s shoulders to keep him from bouncing around. \u201cWhy aren\u2019t you in school, young man?\u201d smiled Adam, his curiosity showing plainly on his face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Mitch ignored the question and rushed on, \u201cAdam, come on, it\u2019s Joe,\u201d Mitch tried to explain.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhoa, now what\u2019s this about my kid brother?\u00a0 Is he in trouble again?\u00a0 What is it this time, another fight?\u201d laughed Adam, hoping that a fight was not the case.\u00a0 Joe had been warned by their irate father, just two days ago that he had better not hear of Joe taking part in another brawl, or else.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, he\u2019s sick.\u00a0 He passed out, Miss Jones says someone needs to come get him and take him over to the doc\u2019s.\u00a0 I was on my way to get Doc Martin when I saw ya just about to go into the saloon.\u00a0 Come on.\u201d\u00a0 Mitch pulled free from Adam\u2019s grasp and started back toward the school, running as fast as he could.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam\u2019s jovial mood quickly became serious and he ran behind Mitch to the schoolhouse.\u00a0 Inside he found Joe lying unconscious in the floor where he had fallen.\u00a0 Miss Jones knelt at his brother\u2019s side and had placed a dampened cloth on his brother\u2019s brow but even the coolness of the water had not brought Joe around.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe\u2026Joe,\u201d Adam gently slapped his brother\u2019s cheeks in an effort to get the boy to respond to the stimuli.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe made no movement and no sound other than the raspy breathing that could be heard throughout the silent room where the entire class had become motionless and frightened by Joe\u2019s act of fainting.\u00a0 Adam easily scooped his brother up into his arms and hurried out of the building and down the street to the physician\u2019s office.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paul was just coming out the entranceway when Adam arrived and quickly reopened the door he had just locked and held it opened to allow Adam to enter.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPut him on the cot.\u00a0 What happened Adam?\u201d asked Paul as he quickly attended his young patient.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Miss Jones said he\u2019s been unusually quite and inattentive all day.\u00a0 She said she was in the middle of a history lesson when for no apparent reason, Joe stood up and then suddenly passed out and fell into the floor.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat did he have for breakfast?\u201d\u00a0 Paul was checking Joe\u2019s vital signs, which seemed to be normal.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe usual, eggs, ham, flapjacks, fried potatoes, cornmeal mush, milk,\u201d Adam stopped when Paul\u2019s laughter reached his ears.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d he asked confused by the doctor\u2019s amusement.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam, are you telling me Little Joe ate all of that?\u201d snickered Paul knowing of his patient\u2019s usual lack of appetite.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam pulled the chair up next to his brother\u2019s cot and smiled knowingly.\u00a0 \u201cCome to think of it, he only ate a few bites, some eggs, maybe a bite or two of the ham and then he drank his milk.\u00a0 Why?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI was just wondering.\u00a0 Has he complained of feeling ill?\u00a0 Not that he would if he was sick.\u00a0 This boy hates me, you know that don\u2019t you?\u201d smiled Paul but the twinkle in his eyes told Adam the physician was teasing.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam laughed.\u00a0 It was no secret, Joe refused to admit when he was feeling unwell, for he knew it would mean a sure visit with the doctor, which Joe did, as Paul had stated, hated the doctor.\u00a0 Oh, he didn\u2019t really hate Paul, just Paul\u2019s choice of professions.\u00a0 Joe was scared of going to the doctor\u2019s, he hated the shots, the confinements to his bed, the bitter tasting medicines that was always forced on him thus he refused to let anyone know when he was feeling ill.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam, I can\u2019t find anything at all wrong with him.\u00a0 Until he wakes up and can tell me he\u2019s hurting somewhere, I can only assume that he must have gotten over heated and passed out from lack of fresh air.\u201d\u00a0 Paul stood to his feet and placed his hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019ll come around in a few minutes.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you just sit with him until then?\u00a0 I\u2019ll get you some coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam nodded his head and scooted closer to his brother, taking Joe\u2019s hand in his.\u00a0 Paul was true to his word and as the kind doctor placed Adam\u2019s coffee on the table near the bed, Joe began to stir about and finally opened his eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe, how do you feel?\u201d Paul stepped up and placed his hand on Joe\u2019s brow to assure him self that his patient had no temperature.\u00a0 \u201cCan you tell me what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe forced his eyes opened and pulled his hand free of his brother\u2019s grasp but refused to look at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cI just\u2026I mean\u2026I was sitting there\u2026and\u2026\u201d Joe swallowed.\u00a0 His fears of being tossed aside had resurfaced along with his anger at his brother and he glanced at Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Trying to keep his voice smooth and not let his fear make it to quiver, he wiped at his eyes and then his nose with the backs of his hands.\u00a0 \u201cI want Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned his head away from the doctor and away from his brother in an attempt to bury his face into the soft pillow to hide his embarrassment from the two onlookers at his bedside.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Surprised, Adam placed his hand gently on his brother\u2019s arm that covered his face.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe pushed away his brother\u2019s hand and glared at Adam, his tears shining on his pale skin.\u00a0 \u201cGo away Adam, I don\u2019t want you here.\u00a0 I want Pa,\u201d shouted Joe and turned his face into the pillow again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Stunned, Adam stood to his feet and backed away from the cot.\u00a0 Paul stepped over to Adam and nodded his head toward the door.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t you go get your father.\u00a0 I\u2019ll stay here with the boy.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam studied his brother\u2019s still form, his face hidden from view and shook his head at the doctor.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be back later.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam rode hard, his thoughts jumbled as he considered his brother\u2019s attitude towards him.\u00a0 Adam searched his mind, trying to figure out just what he had done to make the younger boy so irritated at him but could not come up with any reason whatsoever.\u00a0 By the time that Adam reached home, his head was throbbing and as he hurried inside he pinched the bridge of his nose.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPA!\u201d shouted Adam as he tossed opened the door and slammed it shut as soon as he was inside.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben cringed at the loud noise.\u00a0 \u201cOver here son,\u201d said Ben rising from his desk and meeting Adam half way.\u00a0 \u201cWhy are you shouting, is something wrong?\u201d questioned Ben when he saw the haggard look on his oldest son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s Joe, Pa.\u00a0 He\u2019s over at the doc\u2019s office,\u201d started Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam saw the color drain from his father\u2019s face and hurried to reassure Ben that Joe was going to be all right.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa, he\u2019s okay.\u00a0 He just got too hot at school and passed out, that\u2019s all,\u201d Adam explained.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sighed in relief, \u201cThen why didn\u2019t you bring him home with you?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam moved to the desk and sat down on the corner, one long leg dangling and faced his father.\u00a0 \u201cHe wouldn\u2019t let me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben studied his son\u2019s face, not making any sense out of Adam\u2019s statement.\u00a0 \u201cWho wouldn\u2019t let you, the doctor?\u00a0 I thought you said Joe was fine.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam glanced at his father; he was as confused by the situation as his father was.\u00a0 \u201cNo Pa, not Paul, Joe\u2026he wouldn\u2019t let me bring him home.\u00a0 He was in tears, said for me leave him alone and said he wanted you.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what\u2019s got into him the last day or so, it\u2019s like he\u2019s mad at me and I have no clue as to why.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head slowly, \u201cYeah, I\u2019ve noticed that too.\u00a0 Something\u2019s bothering the boy that\u2019s for sure, but I\u2019m like you, I have no idea what it could be.\u00a0 And he hasn\u2019t said anything to you?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOnly \u2018get away from me,\u2019 and \u2018leave me alone,\u2019 that\u2019s about it, unless you want to count the angry looks.\u201d\u00a0 Adam stood to his feet and took a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cI think I\u2019m going to get some coffee, might just help this headache.\u00a0 You going to get Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben began strapping on his gunbelt and grabbed his hat. \u00a0\u201cYes, I\u2019ll be back in a little while.\u00a0 Did you get those letters in the mail, son?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes sir, we should hear something soon,\u201d answered Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI hope so.\u00a0 Something needs to be done about that boy before he gets into too much more trouble.\u00a0 You try to relax Adam, I won\u2019t be long.\u201d\u00a0 Ben closed the door and hurried to the barn where he saddled his horse and headed into town.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe was sitting in a chair by the time that Ben burst through the door.\u00a0 Joe quickly stood to his feet, not sure if the expression on his father\u2019s face was one of anger or fear, but Joe had no doubt that the look was for him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben said softly and stepped up to his son where he placed both of his gloved hands onto his son\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cAre you all right son?\u201d Ben asked, looking Joe over from head to foot and then back to his face where his dark worried eyes met the hazel eyes of his son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe suddenly felt weak again, his father\u2019s closeness unnerving him somewhat as he felt his father\u2019s arms slip around him and pull him to his father\u2019s breast.\u00a0 Joe fought the tears that stung his eyes, how could this man who held him so tenderly and whose face showed such concern and worry for his well being, want to send him away?\u00a0 Joe\u2019s heart screamed out his grief as Joe\u2019s arms embraced his father tightly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSon, hey it\u2019s okay.\u201d\u00a0 Ben could feel the tremors that coursed through the boy\u2019s body and he glanced up at the doctor.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paul shook his head. \u201cI can\u2019t find anything wrong with him Ben.\u00a0 He\u2019s fine health wise, why don\u2019t you take him on home and make him stay in the bed for a day or two.\u00a0 He looks awfully worn out to me; perhaps he just needs to catch up on some rest.\u00a0 I\u2019ll ride out tomorrow and check on him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben moved his hand upward and cupped the back of Joe\u2019s neck.\u00a0 He could still feel the tension that seemed to have gathered in the muscles at the top of Joe\u2019s shoulders and he rubbed his hand gently around the taunt area before pulling Joe back to look into his face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou ready to go home now son?\u201d Ben could see the sad countenance that Joe wore on his face and the expression troubled Ben.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, why don\u2019t you tell me what\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Instantly Joe reacted to his father\u2019s statement by pulling free of the comforting hands that had held him so tenderly just moments ago.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s nothing wrong with me.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t ya hear what the doctor said?\u00a0 I just got too warm that\u2019s all.\u00a0 Can\u2019t we just go home now?\u201d snapped Joe as he grabbed his hat and rushed out the door in hopes of avoiding his father\u2019s sharp observing eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe knew his father could read him like a book, though he tried to mask the inner turmoil that ripped at his heart and soul, the boy was quite aware of the fact that his father suspected something.\u00a0 Joe vowed then and there not to let the mask down, not to give his father any reason to question his behavior and Joe promised himself to do all that his father or brother demanded of him.\u00a0 Joe prayed that his reserve would last until Adam received answers to his letters and that by that time, his father would have no reason to want to send him to the dreaded military school.\u00a0 And if that didn\u2019t work, Joe decided that the minute Ben chose to inform him of the plans that he and Adam had made for him, he would run away.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I ain\u2019t gonna go to no military school and that\u2019s that,\u2019<\/em> Joe said as he swung his leg over the saddle and waited for his father to join him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe was quiet on the ride back to the ranch.\u00a0 His father had made several attempts at starting a conversation but after his efforts fell on deaf ears, Ben gave it up as a lost cause.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben racked his brain, digging deeply into the furthermost corners his memory for a clue that might tell him why Joe was so out of sorts with everyone in the family.\u00a0 It dawned on him in that instant that the one person who seemed to have been granted immunity from Joe\u2019s unpleasant attitude had been Hoss.\u00a0 That lone thought set Ben\u2019s mind to racing as to why, what had he and Adam said or done that Joe would suddenly distant himself from them as he had?\u00a0 It was a matter he intended to speak with Adam about, and perhaps Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHi ya Short Shanks,\u201d greeted Hoss who was on his way to the barn when his father and brother rode up.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHi Hoss,\u201d Joe returned the greeting with a weak smile as he dismounted.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYa feelin\u2019 all right now, Punkin?\u00a0 Adam told me ya got to feelin\u2019 puny and had to see the doc. \u201d Hoss took Cochise\u2019s reins from Joe as soon as he saw Joe start to toss them over the hitching rail.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll tend to your horse for ya,\u201d offered Hoss giving his father a glance.\u00a0 \u201cYa want me to take yours too Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIf you don\u2019t mind Hoss.\u00a0 I need to get your brother upstairs and in the bed.\u00a0 Paul wants him to spend the weekend resting.\u201d\u00a0 Ben fell into step beside of Joe and walked the remainder of the way to the house with him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stopped just long enough to lay his gunbelt on the credenza and place his hat on the peg behind the door before he followed Joe who was already half way up the stairs.\u00a0 Joe stopped when he heard his father\u2019s footsteps behind him and turned to face Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t need any help.\u00a0 I think I know how to get undressed by myself,\u201d snapped Joe angrily and then suddenly wished he had used a different tone of voice when he saw the look in his father\u2019s eyes turn dark.\u00a0 Joe noted the deep scowl that creased his father\u2019s brow and turned away from the intense glare.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, look at me,\u201d demanded Ben in a deep voice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned back around, his head low to avoid seeing the anger on his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI said look at me,\u201d instructed Ben.\u00a0 Joe raised his head and met his father\u2019s stance.\u00a0 \u201cI do not like the tone of your voice young man, and you will not use it again.\u00a0 Do I make myself clear?\u201d\u00a0 Ben had stepped up on the next step putting him one step up from Joe and forcing himself to look down to see his son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry Pa.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mean to snap at you\u2026it\u2019s just\u2026\u201d faltered Joe, the tears trying to flood his eyes.\u00a0 Joe dropped his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben saw the way in which Joe\u2019s chin had begun to quiver and the tears that blinded the boy\u2019s sight and his heart softened as he reached out and placed his hand on the trembling shoulder.\u00a0 He ached to take the boy into his arms and hold him close, to soothe away his son\u2019s misery and he longed for the words that would set things right in Joe\u2019s world, for it seemed that something had sent his youngest boy\u2019s world crashing.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe felt as if a hot iron had been placed against his flesh as the sizzling touch of his father\u2019s hand left him feeling as if he had just been branded.\u00a0 Joe wanted nothing more than to throw himself into his father\u2019s loving arms and beg for mercy.\u00a0 But instead, he fought to control the urge and struggled to keep the mask that hid his true fears from slipping away and allow those fears to show through.\u00a0 Joe eased himself to the next step, distancing himself from his father\u2019s touch.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Puzzled, Ben watched as Joe moved upward a step at a time until he was out of reach then turn, running the rest of the way to the top step and then down the hall to his room.\u00a0Slowly, giving Joe time to regain control of his emotions, Ben made his way to Joe\u2019s room and tapped lightly on the door.\u00a0 After a long moment of silence, Ben pushed opened the thick oak door and stepped inside.\u00a0 Joe had just finished pulling his nightshirt over his head and turned at the sound of his father\u2019s voice behind him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u201d began Ben but stopped, moving aside as Joe yanked the blankets back from the head of the bed and crawled in.\u00a0 Ben gathered the mused covers and pulled them up to Joe\u2019s chin tucking them securely around his son and then sat down on the edge of the bed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe watched his father\u2019s face.\u00a0 Ben was troubled and Joe could tell that his father was worried about him and it bothered Joe knowing that he was the cause of his father\u2019s anxiety.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n An idea suddenly struck Joe that he now believed he knew the reason why his father and Adam were planning to send him away.\u00a0 \u2018It must be because Pa is always worried about me.\u00a0 I know I do some pretty stupid things most of the time, so that must be it\u2026or\u2026Oh God, no\u2026Pa must be sick and they aren\u2019t telling me and they don\u2019t want me around because he worries too much about me and it\u2019s<\/em> endangering his health,\u2019<\/em> thought Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes darted to his father\u2019s and he was surprised to see Ben observing him.\u00a0 Suddenly feeling shy in front of this man whom he adored, Joe resisted the urge to slip his arms about his father\u2019s neck and tell him how much he loved him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCan I rest now?\u00a0 Please Pa,\u201d Joe asked softly and listened as Ben sighed deeply.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes of course you can son.\u00a0 If you need anything\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, I\u2019ll just try to get a little sleep,\u201d Joe said in a soft voice and watched as Ben stood to his feet and ambled slowly to the door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa!\u201d Joe called out, \u201cI\u2026I love you,\u201d he said on impulse.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The anxiety suddenly washed away as Ben\u2019s face broke into a wide smile, changing the way in which he had been feeling inside.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI love you too son.\u00a0 I always have,\u201d whispered Ben and stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind him baffled by his son\u2019s peculiar lilts in behavior.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n By Sunday afternoon, Joe was tired of having to stay in the bed.\u00a0 He had enjoyed the attention his family had been giving to him, but now he yearned for his liberation.\u00a0 He and Hoss had played checkers until he had grown weary of the game and in a moment of exasperation had sent the board and all it\u2019s small pieces sailing across the floor.\u00a0 Hoss had snapped at him, leaving him alone to stew and pick up the game by himself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Later, Adam had stopped in and had kindly offered to read to him, but Joe, still angry with his brother for making the suggestion to their father of sending him to military school, refused the offer.\u00a0 Now, sitting alone in the dimly lit room, Joe had grown bored and lonesome and now wished he had not been so quick to decline his brother\u2019s offer.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben had brought him a tray of milk and fresh baked cookies from Hop Sing\u2019s kitchen and sat with him for awhile.\u00a0 His father\u2019s visit had made him nervous, he felt condemnable and it bothered him because he wasn\u2019t sure why he should be feeling that way.\u00a0 He yearned to ask his father about the school, and about why he and Adam had decided that Joe should go. Joe glanced at his father and saw that Ben was watching him and it caused Joe to begin to fidget with the edge of the blanket.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph,\u201d said Ben softly, his eyes never leaving his son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe moved only his eyes and glanced at his father.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d he asked in a whispered voice that trembled with uneasiness.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know that something has been eating away at you, no, don\u2019t try to deny it son,\u201d said Ben, stopping Joe\u2019s comment before he could voice it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI won\u2019t ask you what it is. I don\u2019t think you would tell me anyway, but I do want you to know that when you are ready to talk about whatever it is that is bothering you, I\u2019m willing to listen to whatever you have to say.\u201d\u00a0 Ben saw the water fill his son\u2019s eyes and he took Joe\u2019s hand in his own.\u00a0 With his thumb, he gently caressed the backside of the smaller fist.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe could not speak, his throat had grown thick with emotion, his heart jam-packed with foreboding and misgivings and he feared that the tears he knew welled in his eyes might spill forth.\u00a0 For several minutes Joe sat silently, enjoying the tender feel of his father\u2019s thumb as it brushed back and forth across his flesh.\u00a0 At last Joe found his voice and giving his father a quick glance spoke in a voice he prayed exhibited none of his inner torment.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThanks Pa, but there\u2019s nothing to tell,\u201d fibbed Joe, his voice raspy and uneven.\u00a0 \u2018Yes there is\u2019, <\/em>his heart screamed, \u2018I love ya Pa, please, please, don\u2019t make me go away!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n By suppertime Ben allowed Joe to join the family at the dining room table.\u00a0 Free from his bedroom prison and happy to be among the living, Joe ate heartily even filling his plate a second time before finally feeling full.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat was a great supper Hop Sing,\u201d smiled Little Joe when the family cook began clearing away the plates.\u00a0 \u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLittle boy eat lots supper, grow big and strong like brothers someday,\u201d beamed Hop Sing as he walked slowly back into his kitchen.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe glanced around at his family who were deep into a conversation and watched them one at a time.\u00a0 Hoss was laughing, his smile spreading across his broad face and lighting up his sky blue eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018That\u2019s how I\u2019ll remember him,\u2019<\/em> thought Joe, \u2018he\u2019s always in a good mood, always happy and always ready for whatever comes his way and he can make me laugh, even when I don\u2019t feel like it.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes drifted to Adam who was speaking to Hoss and who had a look of seriousness on his face.\u00a0 Whatever Hoss was laughing about seconds ago apparently had not struck Adam as funny.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Always so serious, always uptight about something and seldom laughs, I mean really laugh, like Hoss does.\u00a0 Poor Adam, you<\/em> just don\u2019t know how to turn loose and enjoy yourself, do you big brother?\u2019<\/em> Joe asked himself and thought how sad his older brother had always seemed to him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben had gotten up and moved to his favorite chair where he had started to light up his pipe.\u00a0 Joe watched as his father inhaled on the end of the pipe; the rich aroma of Ben\u2019s sweet-smelling Virginia tobacco filled the room and Joe closed his eyes to sear the memory in his mind.\u00a0 Unaware that Ben had moved and now stood over him, Joe inhaled deeply through his nose and opened his eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBoo,\u201d laughed Ben as he tossled Joe\u2019s dark curls, making him laugh.\u00a0 \u201cWhat in the world were you doing sitting there with you eyes shut like that son?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His father\u2019s question had caught the attention of both of his brothers and Joe felt himself blushing.\u00a0 \u201cI was just making a memory, that\u2019s all,\u201d he explained softly and glanced around the table at his brothers who were smiling at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with that?\u201d he nearly shouted as he jumped to his feet, suddenly irritated at Hoss and Adam for the would-be smirks they wore on their faces.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben quickly placed his hand on Joe\u2019s arm to halt his escape.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s nothing wrong with that son.\u00a0 My mother used to tell me that when you do just as you did, a memory would forever and ever be imbedded in your mind.\u00a0 Like the smell of this rich pipe tobacco.\u00a0 Every time you smell it from now on, you will recall this exact moment in your life.\u00a0 I think that what you just did was very nice, now perhaps when you encounter this scent some where down the road of your life, you will think of me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2019s right Joe.\u00a0 Like the time I got sick on Bessie Sue\u2019s mulberry pie cause I ate so much of it\u2026well, every time I so much as see a mulberry pie, I wanna puke,\u201d said Hoss as he scrunched up his nose.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s laugher boomed throughout the room and when Adam\u2019s seldom heard, deep rich laughter entwined with his father\u2019s, Joe could not stop his own high pitched giggles from adding to the others.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIf you hadn\u2019t of been trying to impress the lady you never would have gotten sick in the first place,\u201d teased Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, I certainly hope that where ever Joe is when he gets a whiff of this tobacco, he thinks of me kindly instead of puking!\u201d roared Ben and surprised Joe with a tight hug.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe pressed his head against Ben\u2019s chest suddenly wrapping his arms around his father\u2019s waist.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018This is how I want to remember you, Pa.\u00a0 Laughing and holding me tightly against your chest, your heart beating rapidly as if you<\/em> truly loved me,\u2019<\/em> sighed Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben heard the deep sigh and gently cupped Joe\u2019s chin, raising his son\u2019s head slightly so that he might look into Joe\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 Smiling, Ben brushed back a stray lock of hair, his hand resting at the back of Joe\u2019s head as he studied his son\u2019s face.\u00a0 Ben longed to question Joe but knew that if he continued to push his son for information, Joe would only retreat further into him self, and tell nothing to any one.\u00a0 Patience, his heart warned and Ben heeded the inaudible advice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI think it\u2019s time for you to get to bed young man, you have school tomorrow,\u201d smiled Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe tightened his hold on his father and allowed his head to press against his father\u2019s heart.\u00a0 Joe could feel the steady beat beneath his ear and wished that he could remain where he was forever.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDo I gotta Pa?\u201d whispered Joe and tilted his head up to study his father\u2019s expression, waiting for a response.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben, sensing his son\u2019s need to be held, permitted his own arms to tighten as well, \u201cYes, you gotta.\u00a0 Now go on, I\u2019ll be up in a few minutes to say goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe swallowed his disappointment, but choose to obey his father\u2019s request; after all, he was on a mission to please.\u00a0 \u201cYes sir,\u201d he smiled and reluctantly released his father from his hold.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNight Hoss,\u201d said Joe as he walked passed his middle brother who had made himself comfortable on the settee, one leg crossed over the other.\u00a0 His head rested against the back of the couch as he bid his little brother goodnight.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNight Punkin, sleep tight,\u201d replied Hoss looking up at Little Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stopped beside of Adam\u2019s chair that sat near the bottom on the steps.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s eyes met his and for just a brief moment Joe wanted to throw him self at his brother\u2019s feet to beg Adam to join forces with him and beg their father not to send him away.\u00a0 Joe felt that if anyone could sway the senior Cartwright\u2019s decision it would be Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGood night Joe\u2026Joe?\u201d Adam placed his hand on Joe\u2019s arm startling the boy from his thoughts.\u00a0 \u201cNight little buddy,\u201d smiled Adam as he watched his brother\u2019s return from the far distant place where his thoughts had taken him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNight Adam,\u201d said Joe and then took a step before stopping.\u00a0 \u201cAdam\u2026\u201d Joe said almost shyly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam twisted his head around the side of the chair so that he could get a better look at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2026I\u2019m\u2026never mind, it wasn\u2019t important,\u201d muttered Joe and ran up the steps, taking them two at a time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam seemed frozen to his position and when his father stepped nearer he glanced up.\u00a0 \u201cWonder what that was about?\u201d he sighed and picked up his book.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood at the bottom of the stairs, his head tilted up as if he were staring at the very top step, \u201cWho knows?\u00a0 With that boy, only God could give you an answer.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The day droned on, but Joe was determined that he would make good his promise he had made to himself about getting his life back into prospective, as Adam often called it.\u00a0 And part of getting back on track was the way in which he viewed his schoolwork.\u00a0 If Ben were to actually send him to a military school as planned, his grades would be an embarrassment to not only himself but his family as well.\u00a0 With that in mind, Joe had worked hard all day to finish each assignment that Miss Jones had given out and to do it all neatly.\u00a0 By the time that class was dismissed for the day, Joe, relieved felt pleased with his accomplishment and wondered why he had always before thought it was such a hard feat to attain.\u00a0 He smiled to himself, he would never admit it to a soul, especially Adam, but he had actually enjoyed his day at school.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHey Cartwright,\u201d came the dreaded sound.\u00a0 Joe knew who had been calling his name.\u00a0 Matthew Talburt had been trying all day to get his attention and Joe had purposely ignored the boy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe headed toward the small stable where the horses were kept in hopes of avoiding another argument, but was stopped when Matthew\u2019s large frame stepped in front of him and blocked his path.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s the hurry kid?\u201d Matthew mouthed and stepped closer placing his chest nearly against the smaller boy\u2019s.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou been so quick to defend your stupid family, especially that French Creole mother of yours.\u00a0 How about that big jackass know-it-all brother, Adam, that\u2019s his name ain\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe bristled at the comment made toward his mother and clenched his hands into tight fists and tried to step back but he had turned to avoid being so close to his tormentor and now his back was pressed against a tree.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Matthew poked his finger into Joe\u2019s chest, \u201cI think your brother is a smart ass.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSo do I,\u201d muttered Joe thinking of how his brother had convinced his pa to send him away and decided right then not to get into a fight on Adam\u2019s account.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d shouted Matthew surprised that his victim was agreeing with him.\u00a0 He grabbed the front of Joe\u2019s shirt and jerked him within inches of his face.\u00a0 Joe could feel Matthew\u2019s hot breath on his face as the bigger boy spat out his verbal assault, \u201cWhat did ya just say, peek squeak?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Matthew\u2019s iron like grip on his shirt was making it hard to breathe, let alone talk.\u00a0 \u201cI said so do I, he is a smart ass,\u201d squeaked Little Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe was not going to let his bully provoke him into fighting; his pa would not be so understanding this time, of that he was sure and Joe had no intentions of adding to his long list of offenses.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhy you\u2019re a regular little wise guy yourself, ain\u2019t ya?\u201d sneered Matthew and drove his fist into Joe\u2019s stomach.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe doubled up from the pain but Matthew who retained his hold on Joe\u2019s shirt, yanked him upright and punched him on the chin.\u00a0 Joe staggered backward and fell to the ground.\u00a0Matthew grabbed Joe by his arms and hauled him to his feet, reared back his fist and swung again.\u00a0 This time his aim missed Joe\u2019s face and landed on the side of his prey\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 Joe swayed backward attempting to stay on his feet as he did so.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with you Cartwright?\u00a0 Hit me! Ya ain\u2019t yella are ya?\u201d screamed Matthew as he advanced on Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s temper suddenly flared.\u00a0 He could take a lot of things, but being called yellow was not one of them; still he struggled with his inner self to keep his promise.\u00a0 Joe took a second too long to consider his options as another blow connected with his face sending him sprawling into the dirt.\u00a0 His head reeling, Joe managed to get to his feet, ready at last to protect him self.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With his fist drawn back and ready to strike, Joe suddenly felt hands grab him from behind and wrap themselves about his middle, pinning his arms to his sides.\u00a0 Joe struggled, jerked and tried to pry his arms free from the restraining hands that held him tightly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cStop it Little Joe, you hear me?\u00a0 I said stop!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam\u2019s voice had finally reached his befuddled mind and Joe ceased his struggle and permitted his body to lean back against his brother\u2019s body.\u00a0 Hoss had Matthew by the arms and was pushing him away from his brother\u2019s reach and sending him on his way.\u00a0 Adam spun Joe around to face him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou just had to do it didn\u2019t you?\u00a0 Can\u2019t you go just one day without getting yourself into a pack of trouble?\u00a0 What the hell were you fighting about this time?\u201d demanded Adam, his dark eyes flashing with anger.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe tried to step back, but Adam grabbed his arm again.\u00a0 \u201cStand still!\u201d he snapped, \u201cDon\u2019t you dare move until you answer me!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gulped, \u201cI\u2026I wasn\u2019t fighting\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam\u2019s mouth dropped opened and he ran his long slender fingers through his dark hair.\u00a0 \u201cOh, then what would you call it?\u201d he asked with sarcasm.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s anger was now being directed to his brother, \u201cI mean\u2026I\u2026was\u2026but I wasn\u2019t\u2026Oh what\u2019s the use?\u00a0 You wouldn\u2019t understand anyway,\u201d shouted Joe and wrenched his arm free from Adam\u2019s grasp.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTry me little brother, just once, try me.\u00a0 For God\u2019s sake Joe, give me an honest answer!\u00a0 Why were you fighting with Matthew Talburt again?\u00a0 Don\u2019t you know just how much trouble you\u2019re going to be in when Pa finds out?\u00a0 Give me something to help you with; tell me something that I can use to keep you from getting your butt warmed up.\u00a0 Or would you rather take a whipping?\u201d demanded Adam who stood glaring at Joe, his hands on either side of his hips and wondering why on earth he wanted to protect this insolent boy from his father\u2019s wrath.\u00a0 Was it because he knew Joe was mad at him for what he might have done and now he was trying to make it up to the boy in some small way?\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t at all sure of his motives.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes filled with tears.\u00a0 Was Adam saying that he would help him out of this mess?\u00a0 Joe suddenly lost his anger at his brother and using his dirty shirtsleeves, wiped the tears from his eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe was fighting me, I never even hit him, I didn\u2019t try too,\u201d explained Joe and watched for Adam\u2019s reaction.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam scratched his head and eyed Joe.\u00a0 \u201cWhy not?\u201d he asked simply.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe lowered his head, ashamed now for not standing up for his brother.\u00a0 Joe felt Adam\u2019s hand cup his chin and tip his head up.\u00a0 \u201cWhy not?\u201d he asked a second time, his deep voice toned with authority.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI was trying not too, honest Adam, I knew Pa would be mad if\u2019n I got into another fight.\u00a0 So I didn\u2019t hit him,\u201d explained Joe hoping that his answer would satisfy his older brother so he wouldn\u2019t have to explain the real reason he didn\u2019t want to hit the other boy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOkay, I\u2019ll buy that.\u00a0 But you\u2019re still holding something back.\u00a0 Out with it!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe recognized the fact that his older brother would not relent until he knew the entire story behind the fight, so decided in that instant to confess the truth.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe called you a bad name, and since I\u2019ve been sorta mad at you myself, I didn\u2019t want\u2026\u201d Joe paused and looked up at Adam, losing the battle with his tears as they slipped slowly down his dirty face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam pursed his lips tightly together.\u00a0 So, he had been right in thinking that Joe was put out with him, still, he didn\u2019t know why.\u00a0 But for now, that matter would have to wait.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSo you didn\u2019t want to defend my honor, is that it?\u201d he questioned and hid the smile that threatened to break through when he saw his brother gulp.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry Adam, honest.\u00a0 I know I should have, but if I had, Pa would wallop me good for getting into another fight, so I didn\u2019t do anything.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry\u2026I mean, I\u2019m not sorry\u2026I mean\u2026\u201d Joe\u2019s nerves could take no more and he turned toward the stable to get his horse but stopped at the door and turned to face his brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTell Pa whatever you want.\u00a0 I don\u2019t care anymore.\u00a0 I can\u2019t do anything to please anyone no how, so if I get my butt whipped, I\u2026just don\u2019t care.\u201d\u00a0 Joe disappeared into the stable where he leaned his head against the wooden boards and cried out his anguish.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Two hours later, Joe found himself standing face to face with his father.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s angry glare left no doubt to the young boy that he was head over heels in trouble again and just minutes away from not being able to sit comfortably.\u00a0 Ben stood just inches from where Joe stood, head dropped low and hands folded behind his back.\u00a0 Joe was positive that his father could hear the loud thumping of his heart as it raced wildly, beating against the inside of his chest.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell young man?\u00a0 Adam tells me you\u2019ve been fighting.\u00a0 Would you like to explain yourself, again?\u201d questioned Ben watching the inner struggle his youngest was putting himself through.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe had given up hope of ever getting his father to change his mind about sending him away.\u00a0 He no longer cared what happened to him, if he got a whipping for fighting, so be it.\u00a0Throwing caution to the wind, he stared into his father\u2019s face and without thinking, answered his father\u2019s question.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo sir.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s eyes popped wide open at Joe\u2019s refusal and for a brief moment, he was speechless.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s sudden coughing spell caught his attention and he glared at his oldest son.\u00a0Behind Adam\u2019s chair stood Hoss, mouth hanging opened and a look of total disbelief on his round face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNO?\u201d shouted Ben as he took Joe by the arm and led him to the chair on the front side of his desk facing the great room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJust what kind of answer is that, young man?\u00a0 Never mind, you can just sit right there until you can come up with a better explanation than that!\u00a0 Don\u2019t you dare get up from that chair until I tell you, you may.\u201d\u00a0 Ben turned his back and stomped away from Joe, leaving Joe alone and heartbroken with his fears and doubts.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n An hour had passed and Joe still remained glued to the chair determined to keep his silent heartache to himself.\u00a0 Every so often he would glance at his family who gathered around the great room, Ben was enjoying his paper, Hoss was braiding a new bridle and would look over at him on occasion.\u00a0 Joe could see the misery in Hoss\u2019 expression when his middle brother would chance a glance in his direction and Joe felt nearly as bad for his brother as he did for himself.\u00a0 Adam seemed absorbed in his book, and paid him no mind, which did not surprise Joe; he hadn\u2019t really expected much sympathy from his oldest sibling anyway.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSupper ready, come to table now,\u201d called Hop Sing as he placed the last serving plate onto the table.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe let out a long sigh, his stomach hurt from all the worry and he was hungry.\u00a0 He started to rise but his father\u2019s booming voice stopped him cold.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNot you young man, sit!\u201d Ben ordered, pointing to the chair that Joe had just vacated.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes misted but he refused to let his father see and quickly did as he was told, turning his head to avoid his father\u2019s angry stance.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d whispered Hoss shocked after eyeing Joe and the unhappy expression on his face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNever mind Hoss, just go eat your supper,\u201d Ben instructed in a calm quiet voice as he glanced over his shoulder at his youngest son who squirmed uncomfortably in his chair.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss gave Joe one last look and took his place at the dining table though his appetite had suddenly been lost; he had no desire to eat seeing that his little brother was watching them and knowing that Joe must have been hungry, for lunch had been hours ago.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe squirmed in his seat, his butt itched from the prolonged sitting but he was determined not to give in to his father\u2019s demands, if he had to sit there the rest of the night.\u00a0 The minutes soon turned into hours and Joe\u2019s stomach had begun to send messages to his brain demanding that food be sent down.\u00a0 Joe hesitantly glanced at his father and brothers who were now enjoying a brandy.\u00a0 He felt his reserve beginning to melt away, he was tired, his bottom was getting sore and he was hungry.\u00a0 He looked longingly at his father, but Ben\u2019s back was to him; Joe sighed deeply and hung his head knowing that he could not hold out against his father for much longer.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019ll not give in, not just yet,\u2019 <\/em>his mind shouted.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m turning in, I\u2019m beat,\u201d said Adam, rising from his favorite chair. \u201cNight Pa, Hoss,\u201d he called and then stole a glance in Joe\u2019s direction.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe glared at his older brother, \u2018this is all your fault,\u2019<\/em> he reasoned angrily, though his anger was unjust.\u00a0 Before Adam could bid him good night, Joe turned his head avoiding his brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMe too.\u00a0 I gotta ride over to Carson City in the morning and check on that new bull old man Watkins has for sale.\u00a0 Night Pa, Joe,\u201d said Hoss, his lips pinched tightly together as he watched his younger brother fidgeting in the chair.\u00a0 Hoss cast wary eyes back at his father but Ben nodded his head back and forth as he turned from the hearth and slowly made his way over to his youngest son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, are you ready to explain yourself now?\u201d asked Ben in a calm voice.\u00a0 He hated seeing his son as he looked now, sad, forlorn and very near tears.\u00a0 The sight broke his heart.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe refused to look at his father and turned his head to the side.\u00a0 Ben gently took his son\u2019s face in his hand and turned it upward.\u00a0 He could feel the quivering chin, and see the unshed tears that threatened to overflow and his anger at this unhappy child vanished.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph\u2026\u201d began Ben but stopped short when Joe\u2019s tone of voice suddenly turned nasty.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat difference does it make?\u00a0 You don\u2019t really care why I was fighting, none of you do.\u00a0 All you care about is getting rid of me, so why should I bother to explain anything to you?\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to be here much longer anyway, so what does it matter if you whip my butt?\u201d cried Little Joe in a loud squeaky voice, his chin quivering, the tears that had filled his eyes began trickling down his cheeks.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam and Hoss who had been in the upstairs hallway quickly returned to the main room to hear what the ruckus was when the voice of their brother edged on hysteria.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph,\u201d said Ben calmly.\u00a0 \u201cWhat in thunder are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe had pushed back the chair from where Ben stood and looked away but at his father\u2019s words, quickly jerked back to face his father.\u00a0 His hopes were shattered his fears alive and living in his heart, his soul burdened with sadness and he felt as if he were alone, fighting against an unknown enemy that threatened to change his life forever.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh come on Pa,\u201d he ranted,\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t treat me like I was an half-wit.\u00a0 You know darn well what I mean, you and Adam have had it planned for days now.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t think I knew, but I over heard the two of you talking, but guess what?\u00a0 I don\u2019t give a damn.\u00a0 I want to go; in fact, I can\u2019t wait to get away from here.\u00a0 Anywhere would be better than staying here with you and them,\u201d Joe pointed to his brothers, \u201cI don\u2019t care, you got that?\u00a0 I said I don\u2019t care!\u00a0 I could care less where you send me.\u00a0 Just remember I don\u2019t care.\u00a0 I\u2026I\u2026Oh Pa, why?\u00a0 Why are you doing this to me?\u201d wept Joe bitterly as he slumped to his knees in tears.\u00a0 \u201cPlease let me stay\u2026don\u2019t make me go\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben, who had known something terrible had been gnawing away at his son, was quick to his son\u2019s side.\u00a0 The fight and it\u2019s reason were quickly forgotten as he gathered the sobbing child into his arms and drew him into an embrace while he carefully eased his distraught son to the settee and sat down.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s arms encircled his son tightly, cradling the despondent boy to his heart.\u00a0 Giving worried glances at Adam and Hoss who had moved to either side of him, Ben brushed the tears from his son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, sweetheart.\u00a0 I have no idea what you are talking about.\u00a0 What is it that you think your brother and I are doing to you?\u00a0 And what on earth do you mean by sending you away?\u201d pleaded Ben.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, please son, look at me?\u00a0 I\u2019m not sending you away, why on earth would you think that?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes you are, I heard you say so, you and Adam,\u201d cried Joe who had buried his face in Ben\u2019s vest and refused to look at his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhere are we suppose to be sending you?\u201d asked Ben as he pried Joe\u2019s fingers from the leather vest and forced the boy to look at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah Joe, you\u2019ve been mad at me for days, and I\u2019d like to know why,\u201d said Adam who had sat down on the coffee table facing his father and brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMilitary school,\u201d muttered Joe between sobs.\u00a0 \u201cPlease Pa, I\u2019ll be good, I promise.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do everything that you and Adam ask me too and I won\u2019t grumble about it, honest.\u00a0 Just let me stay here with you.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s sobs increased as he buried his face deeper into his father\u2019s chest again.\u00a0 \u201cI love you Pa, I love all of you.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go away for four years\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam and Ben both shook their heads slowly in astonishment as the realization of what Joe was telling them began to dawn of them and they looked at Hoss when he sniffled and whose eyes had begun to mist in sympathy for his baby brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHey buddy,\u201d said Adam rubbing his hand down Joe\u2019s back in an effort to comfort his brother.\u00a0 \u201cPa and I would never send you away, do you hear me?\u00a0 We had no such plans\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut I heard you,\u201d shouted Joe as he turned on Adam.\u00a0 \u201cIt was your idea, I heard you tell Pa, and Pa agreed.\u00a0 You said I was always getting into too much trouble and my grades where lousy, so you suggested to Pa that he send me to military school.\u00a0 Don\u2019t deny it Adam, I heard YOU!\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s voice had risen an octave and had become high pitched as his wailing pierced the eardrums of his astonished family members.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben moved from the settee, knelt down in front of his weeping child and cupped Joe\u2019s chin, forcing the boy to look him in the eye.\u00a0 \u201cWhat you heard young man, was bits and pieces of a conversation that had nothing what so ever to do with you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHush Joseph and let me finish.\u00a0 Obviously you were eavesdropping again, and did not hear the entire conversation, and you have drawn your own conclusion, which happens to be wrong.\u00a0 Son, Adam and I were talking about Matthew Talburt, not you.\u201d\u00a0 Ben smiled at the surprised look on his son\u2019s young face and using the palms of his hands, wiped away the tears that lingered on Joe\u2019s cheeks.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou were?\u201d whispered Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe were.\u00a0 You see son, Mr. Talburt asked Adam and I for some suggestions to help him get Matthew back on the right track.\u00a0 He\u2019s been a handful for Mr. and Mrs. Talburt and they were at a loss as to how to help their son.\u00a0 So when Adam suggested military school, he meant it for the Talburt boy, not you Joseph.\u201d\u00a0 Ben allowed Joe to rest his head against him and the concerned father wrapped his arms tightly about Joe\u2019s torso and Ben felt the fight slip from Joe\u2019s body as the boy relaxed against him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI would never, ever send you away like that son.\u00a0 Unless you chose to go, if it were something that you thought you\u2019d like to do\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNO!\u00a0 I want to stay here with you.\u00a0 I don\u2019t ever want to leave the Ponderosa.\u00a0 I want to raise horses and I want to raise\u2026\u201d Joe stopped and looked into his father\u2019s loving eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI want to raise your grandchildren, right here.\u00a0 And when I die, I want to be buried up at the lake with mama, and you.\u00a0 My life is here Pa, it always has been and it always will be, that is if you want me?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWant you?\u00a0 Oh son, you don\u2019t have to ask that.\u00a0 You and Adam and Hoss are my life.\u00a0 Your heartbeat is my heartbeat.\u00a0 When you hurt, I hurt.\u00a0 I love the three of you more than anything in this entire world.\u00a0 I would do anything for you, including giving up my life for you if I had too.\u00a0 That\u2019s how much I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben pulled Joe\u2019s head against his heart and kissed the top of the curly head while he held Joe for several minutes without speaking.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI love you too, you little river rat,\u201d smiled Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat goes double for me, Short Shanks,\u201d laughed Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked around at his family and smiled.\u00a0 He had put himself through hell, and for what he thought?\u00a0 Only to find out what he had known all along but had refused to admit, and that was that his family loved him; they always had and they always would.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t going anywhere, not now and not ever he promised himself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry Adam, for being mad at you and for not defending your honor,\u201d Little Joe softly told his brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s okay Pal, I know you didn\u2019t understand what you thought you heard and why you would have been mad at me for suggesting it. But Joe, you never did tell me what Matthew Talburt said about me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe glanced up at his father and saw that Ben was waiting for an answer to Adam\u2019s question as well.\u00a0 \u201cHmm\u2026I\u2019m not allow to use those kind of words,\u201d Joe said, hoping to pacify both his brother and his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s just forget it, shall we boys?\u00a0 We wouldn\u2019t want your little brother here to get into more trouble for using cuss words now would we?\u201d smiled Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam and Hoss shook their heads.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, about this fight that you say didn\u2019t happen\u2026\u201d began Ben as he gently touched the swollen area of Joe\u2019s chin and wondered again how Joe could claim he hadn\u2019t been fighting when he had the bruises to suggest otherwise.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe jerked to attention, and looked to Adam for support.\u00a0 \u201cWell\u2026hmm\u2026I didn\u2019t really say it didn\u2019t happen, I just meant that I didn\u2019t fight him\u2026you see Pa, it was like this\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam\u2019s voice joined in with Joe\u2019s and a moment later Hoss was adding his two cents worth about the fight.\u00a0 In seconds all three of his sons were talking at once, each trying to be heard over the others.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sighed, \u2018military school, why had I not thought of that years<\/em> ago,\u2019<\/em> he laughed to himself.\u00a0 \u2018Think of all the peace and quiet I have missed!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood to his feet, his son\u2019s chatter ringing in his ears as they continue to argue between themselves about what might have been said about Adam and about which version of the fight was most accurate.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled to himself as he watched his boys,\u00a0 \u2018I wouldn\u2019t trade this for anything<\/em> in the world,<\/em> he sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u2018Now, where did I put those cotton balls?\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n THE END<\/p>\n September 2002<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n