{"id":12300,"date":"2005-11-01T16:20:19","date_gmt":"2005-11-01T21:20:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12300"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:10:35","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:10:35","slug":"too-deep-a-well-by-debbieb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12300","title":{"rendered":"Too Deep a Well (by DebbieB)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong>\u00a0Joe and Adam have been at loggerheads for weeks and Ben is tired of it all. When he and Hoss go on holiday, leaving the bickering brothers behind to sort though their problems, Adam and Joe learn the hard way just how much they actually mean to each other.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/strong>\u00a0 PG (12, 650 words)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Too Deep a Well<\/strong><\/p>\n

Joe stomped from the barn; anger glowed in his emerald eyes as he made his way to the house. In the barn, an equally angered Adam, slung the bucket he held in his hand across to the other side, hitting the wall with a loud bang and making a clanging sound when it hit the hard packed earth. Adam gritted his teeth; his jaw was clenched tightly and his fists were rolled into tight balls. He\u2019d had about all he could stand of the younger man who had just stomped out of the barn.<\/p>\n

For days, weeks it seemed he and Joe had been at loggerheads with one another. They had argued endlessly about one thing or another. Each and every time the kid opened his mouth it was to make some nasty remark about what or why he was supposed to be doing something. Couldn\u2019t he just do his work without complaining, Adam thought? Why did the boy always want to put up a fight\u2026always rub him the wrong way\u2026couldn\u2019t Joe ever do anything right? Was it too much to ask\u2026after all he was a man\u2026or so his younger brother kept claiming he was, but Adam had other thoughts on the matter.<\/p>\n

Joe opened and slammed the door shut. Ben, who had been sitting at his desk, jumped to his feet to see who had entered the house in such a manner. He wasn\u2019t surprised one bit to see that it was his youngest son. It had happened before, many times, almost daily for what appeared to be forever and the loud banging was exhausting his waning nerves.<\/p>\n

\u201cJOSEPH!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT?\u201d Joe shouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT DO YOU MEAN \u2018WHAT\u2019?\u201d Ben roared.<\/p>\n

Joe stopped in his tracks; he had been on his way to his room, but at the sound of his father\u2019s odd question, Joe halted any further advance toward the staircase. Ben stepped into the center of the room. His hands were on his hips and right away Joe noted the angry glow in the dark eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI would advise you to change the tone of your voice, young man, when you\u2019re speaking to me,\u201d Ben said in a calmer voice. \u201cNow would you mind explaining why you burst in here like you did and slamming the door? How many times have I told you that is no way to enter my house?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe took a deep breath to regain a measure of calm for himself. Seemed as if today was his day for making everyone mad at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, sir\u2026for both offenses,\u201d Joe said quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright then,\u201d Ben answered.<\/p>\n

He could see that his son was upset. By the look on the young man\u2019s face, Ben could only suspect that the boy and Adam had been going at it once again. He was growing weary of the constant arguing between his two sons. So many times over the last few weeks he had tried to bring peace between the two, tried to find some common ground, but everything he attempted to do, failed and it looked as if he\u2019d failed miserably. What would it take to bring the two back together\u2026where was he ever going to find the solution to bring a halt or at least a truce to all the bickering?<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it this time?\u201d Ben asked in a less than enthusiastic tone.<\/p>\n

Joe, who had lowered his head, looked up into his father\u2019s eyes. He puckered up his lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cHim\u2026who else?\u201d he said with disgust.<\/p>\n

\u201cHim?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026naturally\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben sighed deeply, shaking his head slowly from side to side. He rubbed his temples for he had the makings of a headache.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat now?\u201d he asked finally.<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything!\u201d Joe groaned.<\/p>\n

Joe moved from in front of the stairs where he\u2019d been standing to the fireplace. His back was to his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything? What things, Joseph? Be a little more specific if you don\u2019t mind,\u201d his father insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cDamnit, Pa\u2026ere\u2026sorry sir\u2026I didn\u2019t mean to swear,\u201d Joe apologized in a trembling voice. He glanced sideways to find his father\u2019s angry eyes boring into him. Joe turned around and moved closer to his father, stopping in front of Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt isn\u2019t any one thing, Pa\u2026it\u2019s everything. According to Adam, I can\u2019t do anything right, proper or correctly\u2026and I\u2019m using his words, not mine. I can\u2019t even clean the barn or the tack room to his specifications. I don\u2019t know the proper way to organize the tack, I can\u2019t mend a harness correctly, or repair a wagon wheel or mend a fence, or herd cattle, or break a wild horse\u2026Mr. Smarty Pants says I\u2019m lazy, that I chew with my mouth open, I put my feet on the furniture, I slurp, I burp, I far\u2026well\u2026you know what I mean, but it ain\u2019t so. I don\u2019t do all those horrible things\u2026at least not in public or in mixed company. And I do know how to repair a wheel, and a harness and a fence and I can herd cattle, hell fire\u2026oops\u2026sorry, Pa\u2026but Adam\u2019s the one that taught me how to herd and rope and brand and ride. So why\u2019s he now making an issue of it all? Why can\u2019t I please him? I\u2019m tired, Pa\u2026I\u2019m just plain ole tired of trying to please him\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes opened wide as he inhaled deeply. He had known of the on-going arguments between his two boys but until that moment, he had no idea that things had gotten so out of hand. His anger abated some and as he looked at the forlorn expression on Little Joe\u2019s face, he felt a measure of sorrow for the lad, for Ben knew that Joe did work hard and he tried hard to please his brother. Adam was almost as hard a taskmaster as he, himself, but with much less patience. Ben sighed again and placed his hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder, affectionately pulling the younger man into a hug.<\/p>\n

At that moment, the front door opened and Adam walked in, halted by the scene between his father and younger brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026isn\u2019t this cozy,\u201d he jeered.<\/p>\n

Ben turned, seeing the anger that lingered in his oldest son\u2019s dark eyes. Joe immediately pulled away from his father, frowning, and sat down on the hearth.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what is that suppose to mean?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing really,\u201d Adam stated as he took off his gun belt, folded it and placed it on the credenza. He glanced across the room at his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cI figured you\u2019d go running to Pa, that\u2019s what most boys would do\u2026so\u2026what have you been telling him? How you\u2019ve slacked off all day\u2026or refused to do as you were asked\u2026or maybe you\u2019ve told him how you left the fence in the north pasture untended\u2026which resulted in me having to ride down there and round up those 20 odd steers that managed to stray? Which was it, little brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo to hell, Adam!\u201d snapped Joe, standing to his feet and advancing on his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cJOSEPH!\u201d bellowed Ben.<\/p>\n

Angry with both boys, Ben stepped between the two. Adam\u2019s chest had swelled when Joe had gotten up and immediately Ben sensed that an actual, physical fight might erupt in the middle of his living room.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat will be enough!\u201d he demanded, looking first to one and then the other. \u201cI will not have my sons going head to head with one another in my house\u2026or anywhere else! Is that understood? I want this constant bickering and arguing stopped once and for all\u2026or else!\u201d shouted Ben.<\/p>\n

Joe stood with his head lowered but raised it slightly to look over at Adam. Adam was standing ramrod stiff and refused to say a word. Joe straightened up, if Adam could be stubborn, then so could he.<\/p>\n

\u201cI said do you two understand me?\u201d Ben repeated in a demanding tone that left no doubt that he meant business.<\/p>\n

The angry father watched first one son and then another. But neither one volunteered to say anything.<\/p>\n

\u201cJOSEPH!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do I have to be the one to concede?\u201d stormed Joe, \u201cWhy can\u2019t he say something, he\u2019s not had a problem running his mouth up until this moment!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell God knows, I\u2019ve had good reason to \u2018run my mouth\u2019 as you so eloquently put it!\u201d shouted Adam. \u201cIf you\u2019d grow up and act your age then perhaps I wouldn\u2019t have to \u2018run my mouth\u2019\u2026you know little brother, if you were nothing more than hired helped, I would have fired you long ago\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s fist had long since been doubled up and he took advantage of the fact. Practically shoving his father aside, he swung at Adam, hitting him directly on his chin and sending his sibling tumbling backwards.<\/p>\n

\u201cJOSEPH!\u201d shouted Ben as he grabbed for Joe to restrain him and to prevent him from hitting his brother a second time.<\/p>\n

Joe fought his father\u2019s restraining arms, but Adam, fired with anger and resentment at finding himself at the end of his younger brother\u2019s fist, took advantage of the fact that Joe was being confined. He belted his brother in his mid-section, doubling Joe in two. Ben released his hold that in turn allowed Joe to drop to his knees, moaning.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes were red balls of fire, anger burned deep in his soul. He glared at his oldest son as he leaned down to help Joe to stand.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow dare you!\u201d Ben snarled to Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow dare I?\u201d Adam retorted, \u201cHow dare him! He hit me first!\u201d he shouted, pointing at his younger brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow dare both of you! This is the last straw!\u201d shouted Ben.<\/p>\n

Hoss entered the house at that moment, pausing at the scene being played out in front of him, confused by what he saw.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou bet it is!\u201d Adam returned just as loudly.<\/p>\n

He marched across the room and picked up his belongings and started out the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust where do you think you\u2019re going, young man\u2026I haven\u2019t finished this yet!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell I have, Pa\u2026goodbye!\u201d Adam said as he pushed passed his middle brother. The door slammed behind him.<\/p>\n

Hoss swallowed deeply as he moved to his father\u2019s side. He could easily see the pain in his younger brother\u2019s eyes and the disappointment in his father\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d he asked softly.<\/p>\n

Ben, his lips pressed tightly glanced first at Joe and then Hoss, and then moved away from both to stand in front of the fire. He said nothing.<\/p>\n

Joe looked up at Hoss. His expression showed his own grief.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa\u2026I shouldn\u2019t have hit him\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026you shouldn\u2019t have\u2026but you did!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI said I was sorry\u2026what more do you want me to say?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you think it\u2019s just a little too late to say anything more? Seems to me that too much has been said as it is!\u201d grumbled Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I suppose you\u2019re meaning that all of this is my fault?\u201d barked Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t say that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026but that\u2019s what you meant!\u201d shouted Joe.<\/p>\n

He had stomped over to the steps heading for his room, but he stopped and turned around once more to face his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry\u2026it won\u2019t happen again\u2026I can promise you that!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe was halfway to the landing but his father\u2019s next words forced him to stop dead in his tracks.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve heard that promise before\u2026Hoss, pack your things\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe turned slowly, hurt by the defeat he\u2019d just heard in his father\u2019s words and confused by his last statement.<\/p>\n

\u201cPack my things, Pa\u2026\u201d Hoss gave Joe a quick, worried look, \u201cHow\u2019s come?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re leaving\u2026\u201d Ben said, standing up to his full height. \u201cI\u2019ve heard all I want to of this bickering and name calling\u2026and fighting, you and I are going on a holiday,\u201d he explained.<\/p>\n

Joe still had not moved, nor had he said anything. Ben approached the stairs and glared up at his youngest son.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you, young man\u2026and your older brother, will remain here, alone\u2026together until the two of you can work out your differences.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben began climbing the stairs. At the landing, he stopped and looked down at the frightened face of his youngest son.<\/p>\n

\u201cI shall be in touch\u2026so that you will know where we are. Hoss and I will be gone for about a month\u2026perhaps longer\u2026I suggest that you and Adam mend whatever bridges you two have managed to tear apart. I will not remain in a house divided, even if it is my own home, do you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n

Unable to say a word, stunned into silence to think that his actions had actually gone so far as to drive his father from his own home, Joe fought against the despairing tears that threatened to spill forth. He nodded his head in reply.<\/p>\n

Hoss walked slowly up the stairs, stopping only long enough to press his hand down on Joe\u2019s shoulder. Joe watched, broken-heartedly as his father and brother disappeared around the corner of the hall. Slowly, he walked back down stairs and over to the fire. He had no idea that he had stood in the same spot for as long as he had, but eventually, at the sound of footsteps on the stairs, he looked up.<\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss were descending, each with a carpetbag in their hands. Ben looked at the boy but said nothing, only moved to the credenza to gather his hat and gun belt. Hoss did the same, silent as he strapped on his own gun belt, ever aware of the sadness that shown on his younger sibling\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

When Ben was finished, he looked up at Joe, well aware of the same expression that Hoss had seen. His anger abated somewhat for the boy looked positively heartsick.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re going first to San Francisco, Joseph\u2026I\u2019m not sure yet where we\u2019ll go from there. You take care of yourself, son\u2026and see if you can\u2019t get your life back on track.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben said nothing more, nor did he give Joe time to respond, instead he picked up his bag and walked out the door. Hoss lingered behind.<\/p>\n

\u201cSee ya, Joe,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSee ya\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

And then\u2026he was alone.
\nWhen Adam pushed opened the front door and entered the house, Joe, who had been sitting on the settee staring at the fire, sprang to his feet and spun around, hoping that his father had changed his mind and returned home. He was disappointed to see that instead it was Adam.<\/p>\n

Adam instantly noted the sour expression on his brother\u2019s face as he removed his hat and gun belt. Joe said nothing but returned to his seat. Adam was very much aware of the uncommon silence within the house and the way in which Joe appeared to be ignoring him. Slowly he moved into the main room and took a seat in his father\u2019s leather chair. He leaned back and rested his head against the back of the chair, watching his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cI ran into Pa and Hoss in town,\u201d he said after several long moments of silence.<\/p>\n

Joe raised his eyes and looked at Adam. If Adam thought that his brother would respond to his statement, he was wrong. Another lull in the conversation only added to the prolonged silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe told me that he and Hoss were going away,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

Once again, Joe studied his brother\u2019s face. He thought perhaps the way that Adam had made his statement showed his older brother\u2019s resentment toward him. The idea made Joe bristle.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I suppose you blame me for that as well?\u201d Joe said angrily. He stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets to keep himself from striking out once again at the man who had also stood and was now facing him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t say that, Joe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026but you\u2019re thinking it\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI did no such thing\u2026you\u2019re imagining it\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh\u2026is that so?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes\u2026that\u2019s so!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you\u2019re wrong!\u201d blared Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I am,\u201d shouted Joe, \u201caren\u2019t I always?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh for God\u2019s sake, Joe, grow up!\u201d stormed Adam as he dashed up the stairs without so much as a backward glance at Joe.<\/p>\n

Joe was left to turn down the lamps and bed down the fire. He did so with a heavy heart and great overwhelming feeling of having been abandoned.
\nFor the first few mornings after Ben and Hoss\u2019 departure, Joe found himself alone at the breakfast table. After a week of solitude, he was more than just a little lonely and despaired over the fact that Adam had said next to nothing to him since their other family members had taken leave. And Joe was consumed with guilt so much so that he had hardly slept at all and eaten next to nothing for days now. Joe had paced the floor until the wee hours of the morning trying to decide the best way to go about mending those fences that his father had advised him to mend. He reasoned it was time if ever his father and middle brother were to come home again, and that\u2019s what Joe wanted most right then, that and to restore the bond between himself and Adam that had somehow become severed.<\/p>\n

By the time that Joe sat down to breakfast on this particular morning, he found that Adam had already eaten and gone about his chores, which had become the norm of late. Not really hungry, Joe sipped at his coffee and then pushed back his chair. After grabbing his hat, he hurried to the barn only to find that his brother was hitching up the wagon about ready to leave.<\/p>\n

Adam barely looked up when Joe entered the barn. It wasn\u2019t because he was still angry with the boy, but because he was as much consumed with guilt over what had transpired as his younger brother. Adam was keenly aware of the sideways glances in his direction as Joe moved about the barn but had yet to speak.<\/p>\n

Deciding it was well past time to put an end to the silence that hung heavy between them and to once and for all mend the breech in their relationship, Adam was the first to speak.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going down to the south forks. One of the men said the fences down there needed some repairing,\u201d Adam said as he continued to load supplies into the back of the wagon.<\/p>\n

Joe felt as if his tongue was too thick to speak. His emotions were raw as he turned to his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cWant me to help you?\u201d he asked, almost afraid that if his brother refused his offer, he\u2019d not be able to face the rejection.<\/p>\n

He stood on the opposite side of his horse, watching Adam and waiting for his brother to refuse him, as he was sure that Adam would do.<\/p>\n

But he was surprised when Adam turned around and gave him what Joe might consider a tiny smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure\u2026I could use some company,\u201d Adam said and then returned to doing what he\u2019d started.<\/p>\n

He had seen the startled expression on the younger man\u2019s face and suddenly regretted all that had happened to put them so far apart. Perhaps there was hope yet that today would begin the long road back to where they had fallen away, thought Adam with high hopes.<\/p>\n

Stunned almost beyond words, Joe smiled to himself and hurried to Adam\u2018s side to help with the loading of the wagon. Together the brothers finished with putting the things in the back. Both said nothing but Joe sensed that the silence this time was less threatening.<\/p>\n

When Adam was ready, Joe led the team from the barn and waited on the wagon seat for his brother to shut the barn door. As Adam was climbing into the seat, a stranger rode into the yard and right up to the wagon.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou Adam Cartwright?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d Adam responded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got a letter for you,\u201d the messenger answered and handed the envelope to Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d Adam said as he took the envelope and dug into his pocket to pay the man for his trouble.<\/p>\n

\u201cWant me to wait to see if you need to send an answer?\u201d the stranger asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, hold on a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam opened the folded paper, quickly scanned it, and then passed it to Joe. Joe read the note, which was dated nearly a week ago. A pleased expression washed over his face. He watched as Adam scribbled a quick response and then passed the note over to the messenger.<\/p>\n

\u201cCould you send this as a telegram, please?\u201d Adam asked the messenger, who instantly responded that he would do so.<\/p>\n

When the man had gone, Joe turned to Adam. His voice was low and thick when he spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cSounds like they\u2019re having a good time in San Francisco.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026wish we could have gone\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam glanced over at his brother worried that Joe might have taken his statement the wrong way.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026I didn\u2019t mean\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s alright, Adam\u2026I wish we could have gone too\u2026maybe another time\u2026just\u2026you and I can go. That is\u2026if you want to?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled at the boy, suddenly realizing that it was the first real smile he\u2019d given to his brother in a mighty long time.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, why not\u2026we can go to the theater and see a play\u2026or maybe I\u2019ll take you to the museums and show you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had already headed the wagon down the road. He pulled back on the reins, bringing the wagon to a halt. Something in Joe\u2019s voice sounded strange.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was thinking\u2026instead of the theater or the museums\u2026couldn\u2019t we have some real fun\u2026say like go down to the docks\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cForget it kid, Pa\u2019d have my hide if I allowed you to go down there and something happened to you!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe giggled. \u201cWhat did you write on that paper\u2026for the messenger to send back to Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam kept his eyes fixed on the road ahead of him. \u201cI just told Pa that you and I were on our way to mend some fences,\u201d he said and then looked to see the startled look on Joe\u2019s face. Joe returned the gesture and then leaned back against the seat, content for the first time in many weeks.
\nUnfortunately for both, the day did not go as well as each Cartwright had been hoping. Before they had even reached the downed fences, the harness that Joe was supposed to have fixed, broke. When it happened, Adam yanked back on the reins bringing the team to a sudden and unsteady stop. He jumped down from the wagon to inspect the damage.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you said you fixed this thing?\u201d he said in a huff at Joe.<\/p>\n

Joe was standing on the opposite side of the wagon looking with disgust at the broken harness.<\/p>\n

\u201cI did fix it\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cObviously you didn\u2019t do it right\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait a minute, Adam,\u201d growled Joe. \u201cThis here is the old harness that I tried to tell you wasn\u2019t worth fixing, but you insisted\u2026I warned you this might happen, but oh no\u2026you HAD to have it your way\u2026well, big brother, look where it got us!\u201d stormed Joe as he turned and walked off a bit.<\/p>\n

Adam gritted his teeth but said nothing more on the matter. He set about fixing it as best he could, it would delay them all morning and he had hoped to have the fences mended and be home before dark. Now that looked as if it was not going to happen and they\u2019d have to come back tomorrow to finish what should have been a one-day job. He was angry to say the least.<\/p>\n

An hour later, the pair were on their way once again. Neither said anything to the other. Joe looked as if he was sulking and Adam was content to watch the scenery and brood in silence. Once they reached the break in the fence, both young men set about work, still without talking to one another. They were almost finished when Adam turned, fence railing in his arms, and accidentally bumped into Joe, sending the younger of the two, tumbling into the dirt.<\/p>\n

For a moment, Adam almost laughed out right until Joe scrambled to his feet and Adam caught a glimpse of the angry expression on his younger brother\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cDamn you, Adam!\u201d snarled Joe. \u201cWhat\u2019d you go and do that for?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was an accident\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh sure it was\u2026not likely,\u201d Joe retorted.<\/p>\n

Adam set the log on the top to form the uppermost rail of the fence.<\/p>\n

\u201cThink what you want, I really don\u2019t care\u2026I said it was an accident, and it was. If it makes you feel any better, then I apologize.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be nice, if I thought you meant it, but I don\u2019t,\u201d Joe said firmly.<\/p>\n

Adam sighed deeply, disgusted with the entire day. He bit his tongue to keep from making another sharp retort and thus adding fuel to an already hot fire. Turning his back to Joe, he wrapped some wire around the top rail to hold it in place, all the while trying to keep from fighting with the youngster.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook Joe,\u201d Adam said as he tightened the wire, \u201cI don\u2019t want to argue with you again today\u2026I\u2019m tired, I\u2019m dirty and I\u2019m hungry. Let\u2019s just get this done and get home\u2026hey,\u201d he said after catching a glimpse of the team moving away, \u201cwhere do you think you\u2019re going?\u201d Adam called as he dropped the string of wire and started after the wagon. \u201cJOE\u2026YOU GET BACK HERE WITH THAT WAGON RIGHT NOW!\u201d bellowed Adam, stunned to have turned around and seen his brother driving away.<\/p>\n

He started to run after the wagon, but Joe was pushing the horses much too fast and he realized after running only a short ways, that there would be no way that he could catch the fleeing team. He\u2019d just have to walk home\u2026but, he promised himself, once he got there, he\u2019d teach that younger brother of his a lesson he wouldn\u2019t soon forget!
\nIt was after dark by the time a weary and exhausted Adam walked into the yard. He noted that the lamp inside the house was not even burning and wondered only briefly as to why it might not be. Staggering, Adam went to the water trough and splashed water onto his face. He was hot, exhausted beyond going and extremely hungry, but not nearly as much as he was furious at his brother.<\/p>\n

Adam made it to the door, surprised to find it standing slightly ajar. Thinking only that in his haste, Joe had forgotten to close it tightly, Adam pushed it opened and walked inside, quickly scanning the room. He was surprised to see Joe sitting across the room in the chair near the bottom of the stairs. The boy was leaning over; his hands covered his face, his elbows were propped on his knees.<\/p>\n

Adam was just about to make some sharp remark when Joe looked up at him. Even in the dim lighting cast only by the glow of the fire in the fireplace, Adam could make out the grim expression on his brother\u2019s face. He laid his gun belt on the credenza and crossed the room. Joe stood up.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve a good mind to beat the hell out of you for leaving me down in the pasture\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe said nothing but Adam again noted the strange look on the boy\u2019s face. He studied it intently. Something was dreadfully wrong, Adam sensed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Joe? Did you wreck the wagon\u2026you were certainly driving like a mad man\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe swallowed, straightening only slightly. Adam saw the boy\u2019s chin begin to quiver. When Joe held out his hand, Adam took the paper that was offered him. Before unfolding it, he looked again at Joe\u2019s face. The younger man\u2019s eyes had glazed over with tears. Deep inside his gut, Adam suddenly felt sick with a rising fear that he couldn\u2019t explain. His anger at his brother was quickly forgotten, replaced with what Adam sensed as pending doom.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, they\u2019re\u2026dead\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

Confused, Adam shrugged his shoulders. \u201cWhat are you talking about\u2026who\u2019s dead?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe pointed to the paper Adam now held in his hand. Joe\u2019s motions were slow as if he were in shock; his voice was thick with passion and uncertainty.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026and Hoss\u2026here, a messenger brought this after I got home\u2026\u201d he said as a sob caught in his throat.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s face paled considerably as he slowly unfolded the paper and read the words. His knees suddenly felt weak as he quickly scanned the note and then glanced at his brother. The second time, Adam read more slowly, as the truth of the words sank in.<\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright
\nPonderosa Ranch
\nVirginia City, Nevada<\/p>\n

We are sorry to inform you of the unexpected deaths of your father, Ben Cartwright, and your brother, Hoss Cartwright late yesterday afternoon. Both were among the victims of a fire that claimed the lives of 25 persons trapped in the Royal Regency Hotel, San Francisco, California.<\/p>\n

Our deepest sympathy,
\nRobert Millsap,
\nChief of Police
\nBert Finn
\nCounty Coroner
\nSan Francisco, California<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s eyes could not stray from the words, they seemed glued to the paper. It was only when he heard Joe begin to weep that he was able to focus on his brother rather than the heart breaking message. Joe had turned away, standing before the fire with one foot propped on the hearth. His hand covered his face and eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026\u201d Adam said with deep empathy. His own heart was in his throat and he felt as if he were smothering, it was hard for him to speak, but he forced himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis can\u2019t be right\u2026it has to be a\u2026mistake\u2026we just got a letter this morning from Pa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe wiped his hand down the front of his face to wipe away the moisture. His expression when he turned looked hopeful.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think so, Adam\u2026do you really\u2026believe there\u2019s been a mistake?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head slowly. \u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026but maybe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Again an array of expressions flashed across the young face. This time anger showed in his hazel eyes and resounded in his voice when Joe spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is your fault, you know that, don\u2019t you?\u201d Joe said unexpectedly.<\/p>\n

Bewildered, Adam was speechless.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa and Hoss would never have gone away if you hadn\u2019t started all that arguing and fighting all the time\u2026you know that, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026you can\u2019t be serious?\u201d<\/p>\n

Irrationality began to overpower the young man\u2019s rational thinking. His insides hurt, his heart was crushed beyond repair\u2026and he was beyond being angry\u2026he was furious and he struck out at his brother, verbally.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I\u2019m serious\u2026think about the things Pa said before he left\u2026he said he couldn\u2019t stand it here anymore\u2026that his home had become a house divided and he refused to live here\u2026he couldn\u2019t stand being around us anymore!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe took a deep breath and held it a long moment before expelling it. He turned away from his brother, unable to tolerate looking at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf only you hadn\u2019t been so bossy all the time and so damn arrogant\u2026and because you were, my father and brother are dead!\u201d<\/p>\n

Infuriated himself, Adam grabbed Joe by the arm and spun him around to face him.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow you wait just a darn minute\u2026you aren\u2019t laying this on my shoulders! If there\u2019s blame to be had, you\u2019d best carry your share\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean by that?\u201d demanded Joe, wrenching his arm free from Adam\u2019s vice like grip.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you had done what you were told to do and had done it right the first time\u2026instead of\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you saying this is MY fault\u2026that I am to blame for Pa leaving and getting\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m saying we\u2019re both to blame\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut mostly me?\u201d shouted Joe.<\/p>\n

Exasperated, Adam groaned and lowered his body onto the settee. He shook his head no and then leaned over, pinching the bridge of his nose.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026I only meant that this was an accident\u2026a horrible accident if this telegram is correct,\u201d Adam explained in a softer, kinder tone. He stood back up.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook Joe\u2026you can\u2019t blame me for this and we can\u2019t blame ourselves\u2026and we certainly can\u2019t blame each other\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re wrong Adam\u2026they left because of our bickering\u2026and you caused that bickering!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe turned and rushed up the stairs, leaving Adam standing alone in the great room with his own broken heart and tormented spirit. His brother\u2019s cruel words burned in his ears. He thought hard on what Joe had said, was the boy right\u2026was he to blame\u2026had he purposely picked fights with his brother just to get a rile out of the boy\u2026had he been the real reason why his father had taken his leave? Suddenly, Adam was overcome with grief as he sat down and melted into the soft folds of his father\u2019s chair. Burying his face in his hands, Adam succumbed to the grief that had swallowed him up.
\nThe next morning as Joe made his way down the stairs, the first thing he saw was Adam standing by the fireplace, poking at the embers. Joe paused briefly on the landing and then continued. Adam barely looked up.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ignoring his brother, Adam turned and crossed the room, going to the credenza and began strapping on his gun belt. Unsure of what was going on, Joe hurried across the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere are you going?\u201d he asked, suddenly feeling a spark of fear that he was being abandoned, by his last surviving family member. His heart was suddenly in his throat.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s eyes quickly darted to Joe and then back to focus on what he was doing.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does it look like I\u2019m doing?\u201d he said rather stiffly. \u201cI\u2019m leaving\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLeaving?\u201d stammered Joe in a hoarse voice that trembled when he spoke. \u201cWhy? Where are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam put his hat on and reached for the door, pausing to look back at the boy who so obviously showed signs of great distress and sadness.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought a lot about what you said last night, Joe\u2026and you were probably right. This is my fault\u2026or at least Pa\u2019s reasons for leaving were my fault\u2026I suppose I was picking on you\u2026oh\u2026not on purpose, though to you it probably seemed that way. I\u2019m sorry, Joe\u2026I never meant to hurt you\u2026or to drive our father and brother from our home\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, look,\u201d Joe said, in a near panic voice. \u201cI was just\u2026overcome\u2026I don\u2019t know\u2026but I didn\u2019t mean those things I said last night\u2026honest\u2026you don\u2019t have to go\u2026please?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes I do, Joe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026\u201d Joe pleaded in a near shout. He was on the verge of another onslaught of tears. \u201cPlease, Adam\u2026you can\u2019t\u2026I\u2026I\u2026don\u2019t want you to go\u2026\u201d By now the tears had formed and Joe\u2019s vision was blinded by the wetness. \u201cI don\u2019t wanna lose\u2026you too, Adam\u2026I couldn\u2019t stand another\u2026loss\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026it\u2019s something I have to do\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNO! I don\u2019t want you to go\u2026Adam for God\u2019s sake, listen to me\u2026please, I don\u2019t blame you\u2026honest I don\u2019t\u2026please\u2026at least take me with you\u2026I don\u2019t want to stay here alone\u2026I\u2026I\u2019ll die if you make me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe blinked and the tiny beads of water spilled forth. Adam watched as his younger brother struggled to control his floundering emotions and felt his heart begin to melt. They had both suffered an insurmountable loss; the boy\u2019s outburst last night was justified. There were no further reasons for either of them to be at loggerheads with one another. As it stood at that moment, each other was all the other had left in the world.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026look at me,\u201d Adam said for Joe had lowered his head to hide the tears from his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t leaving you\u2026but I was leaving\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut why, Adam\u2026where were you going\u2026and why can\u2019t I come with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s lips made a small, strained smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t say you couldn\u2019t come with me\u2026in fact, I was rather hoping that you would,\u201d Adam explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere would we go?\u201d Joe asked a bit confused.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know about you, but I\u2019m going to San Francisco.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doubt showed in Joe\u2019s expression.<\/p>\n

\u201cSan Francisco?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep\u2026I want to find out for myself whether or not this telegram is correct. I\u2019m not going to be satisfied until I know for sure what really happened to our father and brother\u2026one way or the other.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam started out the door. \u201cYou coming or not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou bet I am\u2026\u201d
\nThe boys chose to travel by horseback to save time traveling by stage to San Francisco. They arrived in town shortly after noon and went directly to the Chief of Police\u2019s office in downtown. He greeted them in a friendly, yet somewhat reserved manner.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m Chief Millsap\u2026and you are?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam Cartwright, this is my brother, Joe\u2026you wired us about our father and brother\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

The chief looked momentarily confused.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen and Hoss Cartwright\u2026your telegram said they perished in a fire\u2026\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes\u2026the Royal Regency Hotel\u2026yes, that was tragic and I\u2019m so sorry about your loss,\u201d the Chief stated. \u201cBut\u2026how can I help you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were hoping to get some facts\u2026\u201d Adam began.<\/p>\n

\u201cFacts\u2026what kind of facts, Mr. Cartwright?\u201d Millsap asked as he led the pair into a small room that was obviously his office.<\/p>\n

\u201cFacts about the fire, naturally, what caused it, how can you be so sure our father and brother were two among those trapped\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey were listed as being on the register of course\u2026and it was in the middle of the night\u2026have you received any word\u2026perhaps from them assuring you that they were not in their rooms at the time that the fire broke out?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026\u201d Joe answered sadly. \u201cI wish we had\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

The chief looked remorsefully at both young men. \u201cSo do I son.\u201d He motioned for them to take a seat.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll I can tell you is that some time after midnight on the 22nd, we got word that the hotel was on fire. By the time my men got there, the fire department was already on the scene and the building was totally ablaze. We could hear people screaming for help but the fire was too hot to get to them. Part of the second floor had already collapsed and there just wasn\u2019t any way up to the third floor\u2026I\u2019m sorry, really I am, but the fire department did all they could.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe sat with his head bent low trying to push from his mind\u2019s eyes the visions that kept appearing. It was difficult to will away the flashes of his father and Hoss\u2019 faces, as they appeared\u2026frightened and burnt beyond recognition. It sent a chill racing down his spine.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure everyone there did their best, sir\u2026but that still doesn\u2019t prove to us that our father and brother were among the\u2026victims\u2026\u201d Adam said hesitantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you\u2019d like to believe that by some stroke of fate, your family members miraculously escaped\u2026but it isn\u2019t likely, son. Come with me\u2026\u201d the chief said as he stood and led Adam and Joe from his office.<\/p>\n

They walked silently down a long hallway before coming to another room. The door was closed tightly. Chief Millsap turned to face Adam and Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere were no bodies to speak of\u2026everyone we found after the fire was extinguished was charred so badly that it was hard to say who was who. We had all the remains buried over at the main cemetery\u2026though there are no headstones saying who was who\u2026we just couldn\u2019t tell\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Horrified, Joe gulped hard. \u201cYou mean\u2026if our pa and brother were caught in the fire\u2026we don\u2019t even have a body to claim?\u201d Joe looked with troubled eyes up at Adam.<\/p>\n

Adam was having a hard time masking his own repulsion at the thought. It left him with an empty, hollow feeling inside, like someone had reached deep down within his soul and stolen it away without his knowledge. The entire situation was like a nightmare in the middle of the afternoon. The grief he was feeling and the despondency that had become embedded into his brother\u2019s face was a well of deep sorrow and it kept getting deeper as the minutes flew past.<\/p>\n

\u201cAgain, gentlemen\u2026I am sorry\u2026but you are not the only ones\u2026no one has a body to claim, only these,\u201d he said as he opened the door and led the boys into the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps the truth you seek will be among the items we did manage to salvage once the fire was put out.\u201d<\/p>\n

He pointed to a number of articles that had been spread out on a long table for easy examination. Together, Adam and Joe walked over to the items for a better look.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere isn\u2019t much here,\u201d Adam said after a moment.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs I\u2019ve said, Mr. Cartwright\u2026it was a very intense, hot, quick burning fire\u2026it destroyed practically everything\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd everybody,\u201d muttered Joe, feeling sick to his stomach for the hundredth time since learning of the tragedy.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll leave the two of you alone for a bit. Look everything over carefully; if you find something that might have belonged to either your father or your brother\u2026feel free to claim it. I\u2019ll be in my office when you\u2019re finished; we\u2019ll talk some more then,\u201d the Chief said kindly and then quickly backed from the room, leaving Adam and Joe to themselves.
\n\u201cFind anything?\u201d Joe asked after looking at several of the charred items.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe either\u2026maybe they weren\u2019t here, Adam, like you said\u2026\u201d Joe said with a touch of hope.<\/p>\n

\u201cOr maybe all their things got burned\u2026or maybe\u2026hey, look at this!\u201d Adam said suddenly.<\/p>\n

Quickly Joe rounded the long table so that he could stand next to Adam to see what he held in his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it?\u201d Joe asked, looking over Adam\u2019s shoulder at the item so that he could examine it more closely.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Pa\u2019s pipe\u2026or what\u2019s left of it,\u201d Adam said as he turned the object over in his hand for a closer look.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow can you be so sure it\u2019s Pa\u2019s?\u201d Joe asked. Already a feeling of doom was settling in the pit of his stomach.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause it\u2019s the pipe I gave him last Christmas; see this little nick in the chimney\u2026well, Pa put it there himself\u2026\u201d Adam glanced at Joe and then handed the pipe to him. \u201cHere, Joe, you keep it,\u201d he said quietly as he returned his attention to the assortment on the table.<\/p>\n

Joe held the pipe lovingly in his hands, toying with it as if the object stirred a memory. His throat was too thick to allow him to speak. A moment later he slipped the precious item into his pocket and with a heavy heart, joined Adam at the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Joe called. \u201cCome here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam saw the look of defeat on Joe\u2019s face and knew that his brother had found something else. When Adam stood at Joe\u2019s side, he could almost feel the boy\u2019s body trembling. Joe was unable to speak but he pointed to the table. There, as large as life, lay one of Hoss\u2019 boots. The leather was burned, smudged with smoke, but there was no mistaking the fact that the boot had indeed belonged to their middle brother.<\/p>\n

Joe heard Adam curse softly under his breath. He had to turn away to hide his disappointment and the quivering of his chin. It seemed as if Joe\u2019s heart broke again, only this time into a hundred, trillion little pieces that could never be put back together.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s own heart was filled with sorrow and grief and within himself he felt a strange desperation fill him. He glanced at Joe, noted that the boy had finally reached the point that he knew that their loved ones had truly died in the horrendous fire along with several others. Adam wanted to go to his brother, to comfort Joe, but he could not find the strength nor did he have the words needed that might bring the boy a measure of relief from his inner torment, for he was feeling the same unbearable grief that he knew Joe was feeling, only his grief was undercoated with the guilt that ate away at his soul.<\/p>\n

Adam picked up the boot and turned it over. On the underside was the unmistakable hole that Hoss had been complaining about hurting his foot. Adam sighed deeply and scanned the table for the boot\u2019s mate, but it was not among the salvaged items. He needed no more proof to the question he had been asking, they had found what they had come to find.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026come on, let\u2019s get out of here,\u201d Adam said as he placed his hand on his brother\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

Joe glanced sideways at Adam and nodded his head. \u201cYeah\u2026\u201d It was all the younger Cartwright could get out.<\/p>\n

Joe had no desire to speak again with the police chief, so he stood outside of the man\u2019s office while Adam explained to the Chief about the pipe and the boot. Minutes later, both men emerged from the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright\u2026Adam, Joe\u2026I\u2019d like to say again how sorry I am about your father and brother and offer you my sincere condolences for your loss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, sir\u2026we\u2026appreciate all you\u2019ve done,\u201d Adam said, shaking Millsap\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, will you be returning home?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot just yet. I think Joe and I will be staying for a couple of nights\u2026we have some other business to tend to. And I think we\u2019ll stop by the cemetery. Could you recommend a good hotel\u2026something nearby?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, the Mid-Towne is rather nice and it\u2019s only a couple of blocks from the cemetery. You just go down this way,\u201d Millsap said as he pointed out the directions to Adam and Joe who walked to the door with the chief. \u201cTurn right, it\u2019s about a block up the street, you can\u2019t miss it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook the man\u2019s hand. \u201cThank you again.\u201d He waited for Joe to finish shaking hands with Millsap.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, sir,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

\u201cBest of luck to you both. Remember, if I can be of service to you, just let me know,\u201d the police chief said as he watched the brothers mount up and head up the street.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat a shame,\u201d he muttered to himself. \u201cAnd such nice young men, too.\u201d
\n\u201cIs there something wrong with your steak, sir?\u201d the waitress asked.<\/p>\n

Adam and Joe sat alone at a table in the dining room of their hotel where they had acquired a room for the night. Supper had been ordered and though Adam had eaten only a portion of his, Joe had not taken the first bite but had instead sat lost in thought, toying with his meal. He looked up at the young woman, startled to find her standing over him.<\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI asked it there was something wrong with your meal, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy meal\u2026oh\u2026no, it\u2019s fine,\u201d Joe said apologetically. \u201cI guess I\u2019m not as hungry as I thought.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you like me to take your plate?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure\u2026I\u2019m sorry,\u201d Joe said again.<\/p>\n

The waitress removed both plates, leaving the pair of brothers alone once more.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure didn\u2019t eat much, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t hungry,\u201d Joe responded.<\/p>\n

He leaned back in his chair and sighed heavily and looked about the room as if bored. Adam knew better. His brother was fighting the depression what had begun to settle over him after finding the pipe and the boot that had belonged to their father and brother. Joe looked as if he were about to cry and Adam thought it best for them to leave.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get some rest Joe. I don\u2019t know about you, but I\u2019m worn out and could do with a good night\u2019s sleep,\u201d Adam suggested as he pushed back his chair and stood up.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, why not\u2026\u201d answered Joe in a strained tone. He too pushed back his chair and stood up.<\/p>\n

Adam tossed some coins onto the table and followed Joe from the dining room and up the stairs where Joe stopped short outside of their room.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre we going home tomorrow, Adam?\u201d he asked unexpectedly.<\/p>\n

Adam unlocked the door to their room and went inside. Joe followed.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want to?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought in the morning we might ride out to the cemetery\u2026just to\u2026have a look\u2026pay our respects\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Without saying a word, Joe sat down on the bed, his back to Adam, and pulled his father\u2019s pipe from his pocket.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure we\u2019ll go\u2026but there\u2019s not much use\u2026the chief said they buried everyone in unmarked graves\u2026\u201d Adam heard the catch in Joe\u2019s voice and watched as his brother lowered his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t even know where to put up a marker\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam moved to Joe\u2019s side and sat down next to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, buddy. That\u2019s why I thought we\u2019d wait until we got home and then put a couple of markers up at the lake, next to Marie,\u201d Adam said, casting a sideways glance at his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the point?\u201d Joe asked after a moment. \u201cThey won\u2019t really be there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrue enough\u2026maybe not their bodies, but in spirit they\u2019ll be there\u2026I think it would be only proper\u2026don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026don\u2019t care\u2026do what you think is best.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe moved from the bed to the window where he pulled back the drapes and stared out to the street below.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, tell me something\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kind of a God would allow something like this to happen?\u201d Joe asked, never turning from the window.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean\u2026how could God let good, decent people like Pa and Hoss, die such horrible deaths?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam was silent too for a long moment before speaking. He rose and moved to stand behind his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure I can answer that, Little Joe. But I remember Pa always telling us that everything that happens, happens for a purpose, so\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe spun around. Angry tears burned his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cPURPOSE!\u201d he shouted. \u201cWhat could possibly be the purpose in God letting my father and brother burn to death? What kind of God is He\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026calm down\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t tell me to calm down, Adam\u2026it isn\u2019t fair\u2026it isn\u2019t right\u2026God made a mistake\u2026He should have let someone else die instead of Pa and Hoss\u2026someone who was no good\u2026or a\u2026tramp or\u2026a vagrant\u2026not MY father and brother!\u201d shouted Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cStop it, Joe, right now\u2026Pa wouldn\u2019t want you to talk like that\u2026and you know better! Regardless of what you\u2019re thinking and feeling right now\u2026God is in control\u2026always\u2026just like Pa taught us\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe swiped his hand across the front of his face and plopped down on the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI used to believe that, Adam\u2026but not anymore. Pa was wrong telling us that\u2026just like God was wrong in letting Pa and Hoss die like He did\u2026I can\u2019t believe in a God that lets bad things happen to good people, Adam\u2026so just drop it, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe turned over on his side, the pipe grasped tightly in his hand. Within minutes he was sleeping. Adam sat for the next hour watching his brother sleep and trying to come to terms with the tragedy that had forever changed their lives. He knew from experience that only time would lessen the pain of their broken hearts but as he rose and stood over his sleeping brother, he could only wonder what time would bring to his father\u2019s youngest son. Picking up the blanket, Adam laid it across Joe\u2019s body and turned back to his chair; sure that it would be another long night.
\nThe next morning found Joe and Adam standing amid the newly dug graves, all lined up in a neat row. Tiny white crosses had been placed at the head of each one to mark that individual\u2019s final resting place though they were void of any names. It was a solemn sight, another heartbreak for the two Cartwrights as they walked down the line, pausing and inspecting each grave. When they reached the last one, Joe turned to his brother. Anger and grief clouded his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t even know which one belongs to Pa or Hoss,\u201d he grumbled.<\/p>\n

Adam was at a loss for words as he watched his brother. A deep angry fire of hate and resentment lay brewing beneath the boy\u2019s exterior causing Adam to fear for the boy and the days that lay ahead for him.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go home, Joe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam saw the movement of Joe\u2019s hand and watched as the boy ran his hand across his mouth. Joe held his head low, never bothering to look up when he turned and walked back to his horse. There, Joe stopped, resting his forehead against the cool leather of his saddle. Adam could hear Joe crying softly. The sounds tore at his heart as he put his hand on the boy\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

Joe turned, unable to say a word. Adam, his own throat thick with emotion, placed his hand behind Joe\u2019s neck, bending Joe\u2019s head downward just a bit. He leaned his own head down and pressed his forehead against that of his brother\u2019s. Joe\u2019s hand clasped around Adam\u2019s arm and for several long moments both boys stood as such, seeking and giving to the other what little comfort could be afforded.
\n\u201cWe should be home tomorrow, late,\u201d Adam informed his brother.<\/p>\n

They had stopped for the night and were preparing to set up camp.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be glad to sleep in my own bed,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

Joe had been uncommonly quiet the entire day. Adam knew the boy was brewing and that he best beware for a complete breakdown was likely and he wanted to be ready to handle it when it happened.<\/p>\n

The fact that Joe had started having nightmares only made the boy\u2019s brewing thoughts that much more invasive. Lack of sleep for the last couple of weeks and the fact that Joe had not been eating properly, all led Adam to fear not only for the boy\u2019s physical health but for his emotional health as well. It seemed to Adam that the entire weight of the world was resting on his shoulders now\u2026and he felt alone and somewhat overwhelmed, something that he had never had to fear before now.<\/p>\n

The first and foremost to tend to was his brother. Adam glanced at the boy, noting the change that had transformed the young handsome face into one that looked pale and drawn\u2026then there was the running of the ranch. The mines and timber contracts\u2026the bookwork\u2026all the responsibilities that had been shared with his father on equal parts. It all rested on his shoulders now. Adding to the weight he carried, were his own private tormented thoughts. Thoughts that convinced him that he was guilty and liable for his own father and brother\u2019s deaths. Images of his father\u2019s face accusing him and Hoss pointing a finger at him, Joe\u2019s words burning in his ears and searing it into his heart as if they had been a branding iron, left him with an inner torment of his own that others had no knowledge of, not even Little Joe. Adam felt the burning anguish of the hot iron on his heart and wondered how in heaven could he go on? And then he looked at the boy whom his father had loved more than life and instantly Adam knew that he had to carry on\u2026determined to be not only a brother but father if need be to his youngest sibling. He owed the boy that much and he owed it more so to his father. The heartache would go on hurting no doubt for years to come, but he\u2019d not shuck his duties, the damage to their lives rested beneath the weight of the other responsibilities on his shoulders, pressing down hard\u2026and Adam knew it would never go away.<\/p>\n

That night, Adam sat by the fire, alone with his thoughts while Joe slept. Several times his attention had been pulled from those troubling thoughts by his brother\u2019s jumbled mutterings and soft whimpers. Once he had gone to the boy. Joe had a nightmare and cried out for their father. It was he, Adam, who had comforted his brother\u2026from then on it would be his job. Could he handle it\u2026or would Joe finally admit what was really in his heart\u2026that he blamed his older brother for the deaths that took his father and brother from them? Joe had said it once\u2026and then claimed he hadn\u2019t meant it, but the words had stuck and Adam\u2019s greatest fear was that the cold, harsh words were spoken in a moment of anguished truth rather than in a moment of devastating grief.<\/p>\n

Just before dawn, Joe had awakened again, this time his sorrow was too much and when it spewed forth, Adam held the boy in his arms and let Joe cry out his sorrow and loss until his tears were at last spent and there was nothing left but the soft whimpering that lingered long after Joe had fallen back to sleep.
\nWhen Joe awoke he fully expected to see his brother standing over the fire preparing breakfast, but Adam was nowhere to be seen. The scent of coffee and bacon had yet to fill the crisp morning air.<\/p>\n

Joe tossed his blanket down on his bedroll and moved to add small pieces of wood to the dying fire. Adam\u2019s bedroll was still as it was the night before when his brother had spread it out on the ground. Once the fire was rekindled, Joe picked up the coffee pot and walked slowly to the creek, assuming that Adam was tending to business in the woods. He was caught off guard, stopping suddenly when he saw his brother squatting down next to the creek. Adam had his hand over his face and failed to see his younger brother approach; he made low murmuring sounds that at first alarmed Joe, but as he moved closer, he realized that Adam was crying. Fear flushed reasoning from his heart. It had been years since he\u2019d seen his brother cry\u2026so long so, that Joe could not really recall neither the day, nor the reason.<\/p>\n

He walked quietly down to the creek, standing behind his brother, Joe placed his hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder. Adam showed no signs of knowing that he was no longer alone.<\/p>\n

“Adam?” Joe said in a quiet voice.<\/p>\n

Adam swiped his hand across the front of his face to hide his tears, slightly angry at having been caught in such a vulnerable moment.<\/p>\n

“What!” Adam demanded in a voice that sounded gruff yet his brother knew that Adam meant nothing by his harsh tone.<\/p>\n

“Are you alright?” Joe asked, fighting back his own tears.<\/p>\n

“No…I…wish it were me…that was dead, instead of them…”<\/p>\n

For a moment both were quiet until Joe squatted down next to his brother, his face pale and drawn with emotion.<\/p>\n

“Me too,” Joe said as tears began to form in his eyes.<\/p>\n

Adam turned suddenly to study Joe’s face, over come by the great sadness he found in the depths of the hazel eyes so clouded with tears.<\/p>\n

“No, Joe…you don’t deserve to die any more than they did…”<\/p>\n

“Neither do you, Adam,” stammered Joe.<\/p>\n

“Joe…you don’t understand…”<\/p>\n

“Understand what, Adam?”<\/p>\n

“You…and Pa…you and Hoss…you’ve always had something with each of them, Joe…that I’ve never had. I’ve always been…well…I don’t know how to explain it…but I’ve never really needed them…not like you do…\u201d<\/p>\n

“Adam, you’re not making sense, of course you needed them…and they needed you…and\u2026and, I need you!” Joe said with sincerity.<\/p>\n

Adam looked at his brother and gently shook his head.<\/p>\n

“Not really, Joe…not in a long time. Oh, Pa and I have a special relationship…and Hoss is about as good a friend as a man could ever want…but…”<\/p>\n

“Adam…I thought you…loved them!”<\/p>\n

Adam stood to his feet, glancing away, unable to meet the agony he saw in Joe’s eyes.<\/p>\n

“I do love them…just as I…” Adam turned slightly in order to glance at his brother. “Just as I love you, Joe…I know it’s been a long time since I’ve told you that, or I’ve acted like it…I’m sorry, Joe…”<\/p>\n

“Adam,” murmured the grieving young man. “Promise me something…” Joe asked as he stood.<\/p>\n

“What?”<\/p>\n

“Promise me…you…won’t leave me too…” Joe swallowed the lump that had sprouted in the back of his throat.<\/p>\n

Fear that he might end up losing his entire family washed over him, forcing him to feel as if he were drowning.<\/p>\n

“I…couldn’t bear to lose you too!”<\/p>\n

\u201cAw Joe, you aren\u2019t going to lose me\u2026I promise, buddy.\u201d Adam said as he wiped away the remnants of tears that lingered.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026there\u2019s something else I want you to know,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

He and Adam walked together back toward their camp.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that, kid?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI had a dream last night\u2026about Pa\u2026\u201d Joe paused to collect his thoughts.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd in my dream, he told me that everything would be alright\u2026and he told me to\u2026keep on trusting in God\u2026that God was still in control\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

They walked a bit further, neither saying anything, each lost in their own thoughts. Joe broke the silence first.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t blame you for any of this, Adam\u2026I want you to believe me\u2026and I\u2019m sorry for the way I acted\u2026for doing things to make you mad\u2026and I\u2019m sorry for yelling at you and saying that you were responsible\u2026you know I\u2019ve always been bad about running my mouth and blurting things out without thinking first, Adam\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam snickered softly and slipped his arm around Joe\u2019s shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026it\u2019s like I said a few days ago\u2026I don\u2019t blame you\u2026and I don\u2019t blame us\u2026and I\u2019m glad you don\u2019t blame me, but what\u2019s happened, happened\u2026I don\u2019t like it, it cuts deep into my heart and soul. I know we\u2019ll miss them terribly\u2026but we\u2019ll get through this\u2026together, Little Buddy. It isn\u2019t too deep a well that we can\u2019t get out of, if we stick together\u2026I say we just try to make them proud\u2026how about you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe, his lips pinched tightly, nodded in agreement.<\/p>\n

They had reached the camp and stood looking into one another\u2019s eyes, seeing the truth. No matter what happened, they\u2019d still be family\u2026still be brothers\u2026and would always stick by one another.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get the biscuits\u2026\u201d Joe said feeling a bit better. \u201cYou can make the coffee\u2026mine is like\u2026\u201d he paused, swallowing before he smiled, \u201cmine is just like Pa\u2019s\u2026always too strong\u2026\u201d
\nThe yard was empty when the boys arrived home. It was a strange sort of feeling, knowing that they\u2019d been gone for several days and that now there was no one to welcome them back. Always before, Pa was there\u2026now the place stood empty, a stark reminder of all they\u2019d lost.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll bed down the horses, why don\u2019t you go see if you can talk Hop Sing into fixing us something decent to eat\u2026I\u2019m tired of beef jerky and stale biscuits,\u201d Adam stated.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou aren\u2019t by yourself,\u201d Joe agreed willingly.<\/p>\n

He almost smiled, but not quite, his heart wasn\u2019t into it. He was tired and in the pit of his stomach was an ache that he thought would never go away\u2026even with Hop Sing\u2019s good cooking, if he could even eat.<\/p>\n

Joe had Hop Sing talked into fixing them a good supper and by the time that Adam had entered the house, an assortment of aromas were coming from the kitchen. Joe was sitting in his father\u2019s chair and looked up when Adam entered.<\/p>\n

\u201cSmells good in here,\u201d Adam said, joining his brother in the great room.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, it does\u2026Hop Sing was so glad to see me, he agreed without making a fuss\u2026guess he was lonesome,\u201d Joe said with a touch of remorse.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you tell him\u2026about\u2026Pa and Hoss, I mean?\u201d Adam wanted to know.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course\u2026he asked. He started to cry, Adam\u2026it was all I could do to keep from joining him. It was a lot harder\u2026coming inside the house than what I thought it would be\u2026I mean\u2026I almost expected Pa to meet me at the door\u2026and Hoss to come running from the kitchen\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, so did I. Sort of left a hollow aching in my gut\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know if I\u2019ll ever get used to them not being here,\u201d Joe muttered softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026it takes time\u2026lots of time in this case, but one day\u2026the hurt won\u2019t hurt so much and\u2026well, you know Pa and Hoss would want us to carry on\u2026to live our lives the best we can and not look back\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot look back? That\u2019s impossible\u2026it\u2019s because of them that I can\u2019t even see beyond tomorrow, Adam\u2026it\u2019s like I\u2019m stuck in time. I swear, I can close my eyes and still see their faces and hear their voices. It sounds so real\u2026almost as if they\u2019re really here,\u201d stammered Joe.<\/p>\n

Adam turned his head slightly, listening he closed his own eyes and muttered softly. \u201cI know what you mean, Joe\u2026I can hear them too\u2026Hoss is laughing, and Pa\u2019s\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hear Hoss laughing, too!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe opened his eyes at the same time Adam opened his and they found themselves staring in awe at one another.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow could you possibly hear the same thing I\u2019m hearing?\u201d Joe asked, astonished that Adam could hear their brother\u2019s laughter going on in his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure, Joe\u2026but\u2026listen\u2026I honestly hear Hoss\u2026and there\u2019s Pa telling Hoss to wipe his feet\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Stunned when the front door burst opened, both young men jumped to their feet and faced the two entering the house.<\/p>\n

At the door, Pa and Hoss stopped dead in their tracks, taken totally off guard by the horrified looks on his two sons\u2019 faces.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat on earth are you two staring at? You look as if you\u2019ve seen a ghost!\u201d Ben said and then glancing at Hoss, laughed lightly. \u201cOr maybe two ghosts?\u201d Ben said lightheartedly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026ain\u2019t ya even glad to see us?\u201d Hoss said as he tossed his big hat on the credenza.<\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss walked slowly towards the back of the credenza where they stopped, studying Joe and Adam\u2019s faces.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Joe said, his voice trembling.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Joe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you seeing what I\u2019m seeing?\u201d Little Joe wanted to know.<\/p>\n

\u201cDepends\u2026are you looking at\u2026Pa and Hoss\u2026cause I am\u2026I think\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe too\u2026but\u2026are they\u2026really here\u2026or are we imagining they\u2019re here?\u201d Joe muttered.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat on earth is wrong with you two?\u201d Ben asked, coming around the settee, stopping in front of his youngest son.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben was getting worried, both boys looked as if they were stricken with something\u2026but what? They looked sickly and their faces where pale. Ben heard a sob catch in Joe\u2019s throat and then was nearly knocked to the floor when his youngest son practically fell into his arms weeping.<\/p>\n

\u201cDear God\u2026what on earth is going on here? Adam, what\u2019s happened to this boy\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026Hoss,\u201d Adam said in a thick voice.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, he burst into a loud laughter, silencing the other three. Even Joe stopped crying to turn to stare at his brother. Had Adam completely lost his mind\u2026were they only imagining that their father and brother were here, in the very room with them, or were they so deep into the well of grief that it only seemed real? Pa\u2019s arms felt real; the scent of Bay Rum lingered in his nostrils\u2026<\/p>\n

Adam grabbed Hoss\u2019 hand and pumped it up and down and then grabbed the big man into a hug. Hoss grinned from ear to ear at first one and then the other as Joe and Adam traded places. Adam stood before his father, tears shining in his dark eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe got a wire a couple of weeks ago saying that you and Hoss had died in a fire at the hotel you were staying at\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy God!\u201d muttered Ben dumbfounded.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd we went to San Francisco to\u2026see for ourselves\u2026and it was true\u2026\u201d Joe explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cTrue?\u201d Hoss practically shouted. \u201cDo I look\u2026dead to you?\u201d he laughed lightly, though he knew by the looks on his brothers\u2019 faces that the pair had been suffering something fierce.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you big ox\u2026you look beautiful to me!\u201d shouted Joe as he flung himself into the gentle giant\u2019s arms.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo wonder you two looked so stricken when we came in\u2026dear God\u2026what must you boys have suffered?\u201d Ben said shocked at all that had taken place.<\/p>\n

\u201cI sent you a wire that we were leaving San Francisco and going to Sacrament to visit my old friend, Walter Gates\u2026you remember him, Adam?\u201d Ben stated.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe didn\u2019t get a wire,\u201d Joe said, looking to Adam for confirmation.<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head no. \u201cOnly word we received after your letter was a telegram informing us of the fire\u2026and your deaths,\u201d Adam explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cDang,\u201d muttered Hoss as he lowered his body onto the settee. \u201cYou two must have been in shock\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWorse\u2026\u201d Joe stated. \u201cMuch worse\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben slipped his arm about his youngest son\u2019s neck and pulled the boy into a hug. He could tell by the expression on the boy\u2019s face that Joe had being grieving in the worst of ways. He glanced at Adam; his eldest son wore the same haunted expression. Ben\u2019s heart broke at the sight of his two boys.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joseph\u2026Adam\u2026if I had known\u2026we would have come straight home\u2026\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s alright, Pa\u2026you had no idea,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

When Hop Sing rounded the corner from the kitchen into the dining room and spotted his boss, he dropped what he held in his hand and ran hell-bent toward Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cBoss not dead\u2026Mis\u2019ter Cart\u2019light\u2026Mis\u2019ter Hoss\u2026you home\u2026Hop Sing cry for nothing\u2026you alive, you alive!\u201d shouted the happy servant as he pumped Ben\u2019s hand up and down in glee.<\/p>\n

Ben laughed. \u201cYes, Hop Sing\u2026I\u2019m very much alive! And thankful for it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou come eat\u2026Hop Sing cook feast for homecoming\u2026first clean spuds from floor\u2026you Cart\u2019light\u2019s come to table\u2026honor Hop Sing by eating\u2026please, Mr. Boss\u2026and welcome back!\u201d cried Hop Sing as he bowed graciously in front of Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Hop Sing\u2026come on boys, let\u2019s enjoy this homecoming feast and while we eat, you can tell me all about this\u2026fire and our\u2026demise!\u201d Ben said in a serious voice.
\nAfter supper, Ben, still in awe of all that he\u2019d been told, sat quietly in his comfortable chair. Adam and Hoss had retired for the night, both exhausted. Joe had gone up to his room earlier but now appeared on the landing.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d smiled Ben, still shaken by his youngest son\u2019s almost frail form. \u201cCome on down\u2026did you need something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

It was hard for Joe to speak, just seeing his father, alive and well sitting in the great room, was like a miracle to him. There were no words to express his relief at having his father and his brother back.<\/p>\n

\u201cCould I talk to you\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d Ben said, getting up and meeting Joe at the bottom of the stairs.<\/p>\n

He slipped his arm about Joe\u2019s shoulders and led him over to the hearth where they both sat down.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s on your mind son?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

Joe pulled the burnt pipe from his pocket and handed it to Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere on earth did you get this?\u201d Ben questioned, surprised to have his pipe returned to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was among the things found after the fire. That\u2019s why we believed that you\u2026died there\u2026\u201d Joe said in a thick voice.<\/p>\n

His head was bent low. \u201cWe found one of Hoss\u2019 boots too\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben expelled a rush of air from his lungs and looked at his son.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026I forgot the pipe when Hoss and I left for Sacramento\u2026I thought I\u2019d lost it when I looked for it later\u2026\u201d Ben explained.<\/p>\n

Joe looked up at his father; tears stung his eyes. \u201cI didn\u2019t know,\u201d he muttered softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou had no way of knowing\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe thought because we found your pipe and the boot\u2026that you and Hoss had been trapped and\u2026burned to death,\u201d Joe swallowed hard.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss\u2026left his old boots, Joe. He had bought new ones and since the old ones were so worn out, he decided to leave them, he tossed them in the trash the night we left.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo wonder we found them, then.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben lovingly patted Joe\u2019s knee.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m so sorry, son\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t know, Pa\u2026but\u2026\u201d Joe hesitated.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was\u2026afraid\u2026I was so scared\u2026I didn\u2019t even really want to come home\u2026and Adam\u2026he was scared too. Oh, he didn\u2019t say as much\u2026he was trying to put on a brave front, for me\u2026but I knew better.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe glanced over at his father. \u201cWe both felt guilty\u2026for\u2026driving you and Hoss away\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Joseph\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe even blamed each other\u2026in the beginning\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd later?\u201d Ben asked listening intently to the miseries his son had suffered through.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe blamed ourselves\u2026I even blamed God\u2026I wanted to stop believing in Him\u2026\u201d Joe moaned softly and covered his face with his hands as if to hide his shame at turning away from God.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026I guess all the years you taught me to trust in Him, no matter what\u2026I tried, but just couldn\u2019t. And then I had that dream\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDream\u2026what dream, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe dream where you came to me and told me to keep trusting in God and everything would be alright. I told Adam about it the morning I found him down at the creek crying\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes widened somewhat at Joe\u2019s statement.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was blaming himself and saying that he wished he had been the one who had died and not you and Hoss cause he felt so\u2026guilty. I was scared that I might lose him as well \u2026I told him about the dream\u2026know what he said to me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, what did he say?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe apologized to me for always being on me for things and said that he\u2026loved me\u2026that if we\u2019d stick together, we could overcome our sorrow cause that\u2019s what he knew in his heart you\u2019d want us to do\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour brother was right, Joe\u2026that\u2019s exactly what I would expect of you\u2026and Adam\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know\u2026I realized that Adam was all I have left in the world\u2026I love him, Pa\u2026more than he\u2019ll ever know. I swore to him that I\u2019d never doubt him again\u2026that I\u2019d be the brother to him I was suppose to be\u2026and he promised to always be here for me\u2026\u201d Joe sniffed his nose and wiped away the traces of moisture that threatened to run down his chin.<\/p>\n

\u201cI take it then that the bickering between the two of you has ended?\u201d Ben asked expectantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa\u2026it\u2019s ended,\u201d smiled Joe. He pointed to the pipe that Ben still held.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe told me he gave that to you\u2026but when I found it\u2026he said I could keep it\u2026guess he knew that it was like having a part of you with me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben returned the smile and held the pipe out to his son.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen by all means, you should have this\u2026here\u2026take it,\u201d Ben insisted.<\/p>\n

Joe took the pipe from his father and held it tightly in the palm of his hand. Both father and son were quiet for several long moments.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam said that there was never too deep a well that together we couldn\u2019t climb out of, if we stuck together\u2026guess he was right, heh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI reckon so,\u201d smiled Ben, happy to see the sparkle return to his son\u2019s eyes. \u201cYou will learn that your oldest brother is a rather wise man for his years\u2026listen to him, son\u2026learn to heed his words, he will never steer you wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that now, Pa\u2026cause I know he had a good teacher\u2026the best in fact!\u201d grinned Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad you realize that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I\u2019ve known it for some time, Pa\u2026but you have to admit\u2026Adam still has a ways to go before he knows as much as you do\u2026\u201d giggled Little Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh\u2026for heaven\u2019s sake!\u201d sighed Ben. \u201cMust you always have the last word?\u201d he laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlways!\u201d chuckled Joe as he leaned over and gave his father a hug.<\/p>\n

Ben rolled his dark eyes; it was wonderful to be home again; more so, he was happy to be alive for\u2026he had missed his boys terribly! Though Adam and Joe had suffered a hard lesson, they had found their way back to each other and for that, Ben was most grateful.<\/p>\n

THE END<\/p>\n

November 2005<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0Joe and Adam have been at loggerheads for weeks and Ben is tired of it all. When he and Hoss go on holiday, leaving the bickering brothers behind to sort though their problems, Adam and Joe learn the hard way just how much they actually mean to each other.<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 PG (12, 650 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9052,"featured_media":10704,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23],"tags":[14,16],"class_list":["post-12300","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2206,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/HP8b.jpg?fit=636%2C520&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7619,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7619","url_meta":{"origin":12300,"position":0},"title":"Big Ears, Big Fears (by DJK)","author":"DJK","date":"May 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Little Joe listens and learns. 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Rated:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (9,500 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Ben-1.jpg?fit=234%2C234&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":25624,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=25624","url_meta":{"origin":12300,"position":5},"title":"Christmas Spirit (by AC1830)","author":"AC1830","date":"December 25, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Little Joe learns something special about Christmas, with the help of his brothers. 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