Summary:<\/b>\u00a0 When Ben decides to marry again for the fourth time, things as they had always been suddenly start going haywire, especially for Little Joe.\u00a0\u00a0But when a buggy accident\u00a0claims the life of Nora Cromwell, leaving Little Joe fighting for his own life, both Ben and Joe end up blaming themselves for the other’s pain and sorrow.\u00a0 There once close relationship suddenly starts to decline, causing more stress and even more guilt for both.\u00a0 Can the warm, loving relationship that father and son once shared, be saved before it becomes lost to them forever?<\/p>\n
Rated PG \u00a0WC 14,600<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Shared Guilt<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAUGHHHHH!!!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cJOSEPH!\u201d shouted Ben.<\/p>\n \u201cPA\u2026MISS CROMWELL\u2026I\u2019m sorry\u2026I\u2019m sorry!\u201d Joe shouted as he stared in horror of what he had just done.<\/p>\n Ben stood in shock, staring down at his best clothes and the mess dripping from Nora Cromwell\u2019s lovely gown.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t see you, Pa\u2026honest\u2026I didn\u2019t\u2026\u201d stammered Joe.<\/p>\n The slop bucket dropped from his hand.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s eyes were dark, angry balls of fire.\u00a0 His tight jaw twitched angrily.\u00a0 Miss Cromwell was wiping the mess from the bodice of her evening gown.\u00a0 Her blue eyes had filled with tears but she fought not to cry.\u00a0 Delicately manicured fingers picked at the pieces of leftovers that clung to the lace circling her waist.<\/p>\n \u201cOhhh\u2026\u201d she moaned, \u201cmy brand new dress,\u201d she sobbed, glaring at the horrified young man.\u00a0 \u201cHow could you\u2026you\u2026you\u2026ohhh\u2026Ben\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Ben glared at his son.<\/p>\n \u201cDo something\u2026\u201d he barked at the youngster.<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes widened in confusion, what was he to do?\u00a0 Picking up the bucket, he ran back into the kitchen.\u00a0 Ben pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and gently wiped at the woman\u2019s face\u2026even going so far as to pick a small piece of\u2026chicken ? from the lady\u2019s hair.\u00a0 Without realizing it, he snickered.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you laughing at?\u201d shouted Nora, aiming her fury at Ben.\u00a0 \u201cI find nothing funny about any of this!\u00a0 Look at my dress, Benjamin\u2026it\u2019s ruined\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stepped back observing the gown.\u00a0 There was no doubt; the lovely blue silken fabric was a total loss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHere, Pa\u2026this should help!\u201d Joe said and then acted.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAUGHHHH!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJOSEPH!\u201d yelled Ben as he instantly grabbed the now emptied bucket from his startled son\u2019s hands. \u201cWhy in the name of Moses did you do that?\u201d Ben stormed, as anger washed over him for the second time in less than a minute.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He turned to glance at the woman.\u00a0 Nora was soaking wet; water had plastered the plume in her bonnet down on her soaked hair.\u00a0 Limp curls fell about her face.\u00a0 Mascara dripped from her once neatly applied make-up.\u00a0 Nora Cromwell looked like a soaked puppy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou said do something\u2026I was just trying to help\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBy drowning me!\u00a0 You\u2026you\u2026little fool!\u201d wailed Nora.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNora\u2026please,\u201d Ben rebuked gently, \u201cLets not forget, he is my son!\u00a0 Joseph\u2026\u201d Ben said with clenched teeth, \u201chmm\u2026go\u2026go to your room right this instance.\u00a0 I\u2019ll talk to you\u2026later!\u201d ordered Ben as he waved his finger toward the house.\u00a0 He turned back and to Miss Nora Cromwell focusing his attention on his lady friend.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNora\u2026Nora, please darling\u2026don\u2019t cry\u2026the boy didn\u2019t mean anything by it\u2026it was an accident\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh Ben\u2026for goodness sake\u2026he threw that water on me intentionally!\u201d ranted the woman.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026no\u2026Joe wouldn\u2019t do that\u2026he\u2026he must have thought that\u2026that\u2026oh\u2026who knows what that boy was thinking.\u00a0 Come on, darling\u2026let\u2019s get you inside and out of those wet clothes.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have Hop Sing find you something nice and warm to put on\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As Ben was speaking, he was gently guiding Miss Cromwell toward the house.\u00a0 He glanced up at the window above him and could see his son\u2019s silhouette moving about in the room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You just wait young man\u2026you just wait,\u2019<\/em> his mind fumed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora had finally calmed down; she sat on the hearth, before the roaring fire.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s night jacket was wrapped warmly about her shivering body.\u00a0 Her curls were flat and lay plastered to the sides of her face and over her forehead.\u00a0 Tidbits of the dinner that Joe had tossed from the kitchen door, still lingered in the woman\u2019s hair.\u00a0 She looked a mess and felt as badly as she looked.\u00a0 Ben sat nearby in a chair, studying Nora\u2019s features.\u00a0 His anger had subsided somewhat, for after giving it considerable thought, he knew in his heart that Joe had not seen them strolling through the yard when he had so carelessly emptied the slop bucket that he, himself had reminded him to do, just minutes before asking Nora to take a walk with him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora looked so disheveled that Ben found himself smiling.\u00a0 Her anger was plain to see but he still thought she was beautiful even when sulking.\u00a0 He stood to move to her side, but the opening of the door caused him to hesitate.\u00a0 When he turned, Adam and Hoss were just entering the house.\u00a0 They quickly removed their guns and hats, unaware that behind their father, Nora sat brooding.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben glanced casually down at Nora as he moved to greet his sons.\u00a0 Hoss caught a movement close to the fire and suddenly burst out laughing.\u00a0 Adam stared at his brother and then glanced in Nora\u2019s direction as the lady stood up.\u00a0 His hand flew to his mouth to smother the giggles that threatened to betray him.\u00a0 Adam coughed to cover up his mistake.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s eyes danced with a mixture of emotions.\u00a0 He wanted to laugh but his manners told him it would be ungentlemanly to do so.\u00a0 A part of him knew he should be angry, but it was so comical, he could not allow himself to be mad at his youngest son\u2026who, by the way, was still confined to his room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s open,\u201d Joe called softly when the gentle rapping had stopped.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n By the time the door was pushed wide and Ben entered his son\u2019s room, Joe was standing in front of the window turned to face his father.\u00a0 He gulped, not sure just how mad his father might still be at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou missed dessert, Joe,\u201d Ben said as he sat down in a chair and motioned for his son to sit.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe sat down on the edge of the bed, oblivious to how calm Ben seemed to be.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI wasn\u2019t hungry\u2026sir,\u201d he said in a low voice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cA growing boy is always hungry, especially for apple pie\u2026but I think I understand why you didn\u2019t want to come down.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s head popped up as he eyed his father, somewhat surprised at how unruffled Ben sounded.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2026do?\u201d he stammered.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben grinned slightly.\u00a0 \u201cIt hasn\u2019t been a very good day for you, has it son?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe expelled the air from his lungs.\u00a0 Standing up he walked back to the window and peered out into the night.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo sir\u2026it sure hasn\u2019t,\u201d he remarked with a faulty laugh.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When he turned back to face his father, Ben smiled at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe\u2026I know you didn\u2019t toss the slop on Nora on purpose\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t Pa\u2026honest, I didn\u2019t even know the two of you were there until\u2026she screamed,\u201d Joe said excitedly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Was it possible\u2026did his father actually understand, that it was an accident?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOf course you didn\u2019t, it was dark\u2026but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben heard another gush of air expel from his son\u2019s lungs and laughed softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI still think you should apologize to Miss Cromwell\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAlright, Pa\u2026if you think I should, I will,\u201d Joe agreed.\u00a0 \u201cDoes this mean\u2026you\u2026aren\u2019t mad at me anymore?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben placed his hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder and pulled the boy close to him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s exactly what I do mean\u2026I was partly to blame\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked up into his father\u2019s face.\u00a0 His own young expression showed his confusion.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou, Pa?\u00a0 How are you to blame?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t say I was to blame,\u201d Ben corrected.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His brows rose just slightly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI said I was partly to blame\u2026I was the one who reminded you to empty the scrap bucket, remember?\u201d he smiled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes brightened, \u201cOh\u2026yeah\u2026well\u2026I always try to do what you tell me to do, Pa,\u201d grinned Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben rolled his eyes, laughing.\u00a0 \u201cAnd instead of taking it to the pigs, you tossed it to the chickens\u2026who I might add, had already returned to their coop for the night.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOops!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNext time, try not to dump the scrapes on my lady friend\u2026chicken bones in the hair are not very exciting to a man,\u201d snickered Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe giggled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cShe looked a sight, didn\u2019t she?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m afraid so, son\u2026but when you apologize to her, try not to laugh!\u201d he warned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe giggled again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI promise, I\u2019ll try to keep a straight face\u2026\u201d Joe giggled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben hugged Joe to him and then turned to go.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI had Hop Sing put you a generous slice of pie in the warming oven\u2026go eat before he decides to toss your dessert out the door!\u00a0 And then, it\u2019s bedtime.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAlright, Pa\u2026and Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, son?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThanks\u2026for understanding\u2026and everything.\u00a0 I\u2019ll apologize the minute I see Miss Cromwell again.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you, son.\u00a0 I know Nora will appreciate it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The next afternoon, Joe had every intention of making good his promise to his father. When Miss Cromwell arrived, Joe was the first to greet her, stopping her before she had time to get to the door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMiss Cromwell,\u201d Joe said a bit hesitantly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora glared at the boy with a distasteful look on her face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat is it, young man?\u201d she growled at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe swallowed hard.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2026I\u2026I mean\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh for heaven\u2019s sake, stop that babbling and say what\u2019s on your mind, you sound like a fool\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe took a deep breath to keep from making a sharp retort.\u00a0 \u201cAll I wanted to say was\u2026I\u2019m sorry\u2026about last night, I mean\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora\u2019s eyes rounded as she placed her hand on her hip.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAs you should be\u2026my brand new dress was ruined.\u00a0 It was a thoughtless act of violence\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t do it on purpose!\u201d Joe stated firmly.\u00a0 \u201cIt was an accident\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI seriously doubt that, young man.\u00a0 It\u2019s no secret that you don\u2019t like me!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora stepped closer.\u00a0 She lowered her voice almost to a whisper.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou just understand this, little boy\u2026your father might think you are something special, but I know you for what you really are.\u00a0 You\u2019re nothing but a spoiled rotten, immature little weasel\u2026and I can promise you this\u2026once your father and I are married\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNORA!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora\u2019s, face flushed red as she spun around to greet Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t hear you ride up, darling,\u201d smiled Ben as he leaned down and gently kissed Nora\u2019s forehead.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His smile broadened as he glanced at his son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI see you and Little Joe have been talking.\u00a0 I hope he apologized about\u2026last night?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora\u2019s demure expression showed nothing of her deep anger that Joe had just experienced.\u00a0 One would of thought she the kindest and gentlest of ladies.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, darling\u2026the poor boy was so apologetic\u2026I assured him that he was forgiven\u2026didn\u2019t, I<\/em> Little Joe?\u201d she said in a tone that warned the young boy he\u2019d best agree with her.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah\u2026I mean\u2026yes ma\u2019am\u2026ere\u2026sir\u2026everything\u2019s fine now,\u201d he said, giving a quick glance at the woman.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGood,\u201d Ben grinned as he slipped his arm about Nora\u2019s shoulders and slowly began to walk with her toward the house.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh…Joe, if you don\u2019t mind, take care of Nora\u2019s horse for her, please?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe was silent for a moment before answering.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes sir,\u201d he muttered softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben led Nora away.\u00a0 As Joe stood watching, Nora was looking across her shoulder at him.\u00a0 Her smile was wicked.\u00a0 Joe turned away to keep from having to look at the obnoxious woman.\u00a0 He felt sad\u2026like he\u2019d just lost his best friend\u2026and he felt somewhat ashamed, for disliking the woman whom he knew his father had fallen in love with and who one day would become his mother.\u00a0 Guilt lingered in his soul, weighing him down and making him sigh heavily.\u00a0 Brushing aside the feeling, Joe removed the harness from the horse and led him to the barn.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora Cromwell\u2019s presence at the Cartwright home was beginning to become a regular occurrence.\u00a0 The boys had discussed the matter in private and each agreed that it was only a matter of time before their father popped the question.\u00a0 Hoss was pleased with the thoughts of having a woman in the house.\u00a0 The fact that Nora was a good cook might have had something to do with his liking the arrangement.\u00a0 Adam was a bit skeptical about their father marrying Miss Cromwell\u2026there was just something about the woman that troubled him.\u00a0 Yet, after much thought on the matter, he still had not been able to put a finger on the \u2018something\u2019 and that troubled him somewhat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n On the other hand, Joe had made no secret about his feelings.\u00a0 He was dead set against his father marrying Nora.\u00a0 When his brothers questioned him as to why, he couldn\u2019t give them any definite answers, he could only reinforced his discontentment over the situation.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Things hadn\u2019t seemed to be getting any better between Joe and Nora.\u00a0 It appeared as if every time she and he were in the slightest proximity of one another, something always happened.\u00a0 When it did, it was always Joe who was left looking as if he\u2019d conspired against his father\u2019s soon-to-be-bride and left feeling guiltier and guiltier about not liking the woman.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe was seated now in his room, waiting once again for his father to come upstairs.\u00a0 He dreaded the lecture, or worse, the necessary little talk that his father had promised him the last time if he received one more complaint from Nora about his behavior he\u2019d have no other recourse than to take drastic action. The despairing young man sighed deeply, once again it hadn\u2019t been his fault, he\u2019d tried to tell his father that, but the hysterical Miss Cromwell kept shouting and crying and accusing.\u00a0 His father had seen only the results of the accident and had assumed the worse, shouting at him and sending him to his room, embarrassed and humiliated in front of the gloating woman.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It had all begun when Nora had taken it upon herself to cook supper.\u00a0 Obviously trying to impress his father, thought Joe.\u00a0 Hop Sing had taken the wagon and gone into town, Ben, Adam and Hoss were working down in the south pasture and Ben had sent Joe home in the other wagon to fetch some more wire.\u00a0 He\u2019d been hungry, as growing boys usually are, even his father had so as much, Joe remembered.\u00a0 Thinking that no one was around, he\u2019d slipped into the kitchen to snatch some of the cookies he had smelled baking early before Hop Sing had taken his leave and gone into town.\u00a0 When he\u2019d opened the door, he was startled to find Nora standing on a chair, tiptoeing trying to reach something on the highest shelf.\u00a0 Joe hadn\u2019t said any thing; he\u2019d only entered the kitchen, slamming the door behind him.\u00a0 Nora, her arms stretched high over her head, turned at the sound of the closing door and caught off guard, she teetered pre-cautiously on the chair.\u00a0 Her arms somehow became entangled in the flour sack she\u2019d been trying to reach and when he\u2019d seen her about to tumble backwards, Joe had darted forward, attempting to break her fall.\u00a0 Instead, he\u2019d knocked her completely out of the chair, but not before the flour sack was emptied of it\u2019s contents, all in her hair, her dress, down the bodice, in her face, even in her mouth and eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As Nora sputtered and spewed trying to rid herself of the offending flour, Joe, frozen in shock, could only stand and watch.\u00a0 Once Nora had emptied her mouth of the flour and wiped what she could off her face, she turned, giving Joe a dangerous, dark look that caused him to flinch.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m\u2026sorry,\u201d he muttered.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t mean\u2026to scare you,\u201d he apologized.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLiar!\u201d she spat.\u00a0 \u201cYou did this on purpose!\u00a0 You knew I wanted to surprise your father with making supper for him\u2026and you deliberately set out to ruin it!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026no ma\u2019am\u2026I didn\u2019t know,\u201d sputtered Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora grabbed a wooden spoon from the table and was waving it over her head.\u00a0 Joe took a step backward, but it wasn\u2019t far enough.\u00a0 Nora swung out at him, striking him across the upper arm with the spoon.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOuch\u2026hey\u2026\u201d Joe shouted.\u00a0 \u201cThat hurt\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd so will this,\u201d she screamed at him as she struck him again and again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe tried to back away, but she had him cornered in the kitchen and he had nowhere to go.\u00a0 He grabbed at Nora\u2019s arms, forcing them upward in an attempt to stop the attack.\u00a0 It was just as he had managed to wrench the wooden spoon from her hand, causing her cry out as he twisted the object free, that the door burst opened and a deep, resounding voice shouted out his name.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJOSEPH!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n All activity in the kitchen immediately stopped as both Nora and Little Joe turned to see Ben standing in the doorway.\u00a0 Relief washed over the boy as he slowly lowered his arms. He stepped from the corner to look up at his father, but the look on Ben\u2019s face caused the boy\u2019s steps to falter.\u00a0 He gulped.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora suddenly took advantage of his inability to speak as she ran crying to his father and flung herself into his arms.\u00a0 It seemed from that moment on, everything that had happened was told in such a manner that it became all twisted and distorted and by the time his father was able to calm the hysterical woman, Joe suddenly had become the culprit and was sent off to his room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now he waited, with dread, for his father had never seemed to be angrier than he had been just a few short moments ago.\u00a0 The worried young man moved from the window to his bed and lay down, crossing his arms over his head.\u00a0 Joe closed his eyes, trying to squeeze the picture of the raving woman, covered from head to toe in white flour, from his mind.\u00a0But this picture would not go away.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was an hour later before Joe heard the heavy footsteps on the wooden stairs.\u00a0 Quickly he jumped from the bed and faced the door, dreading what was to come.\u00a0 Ben did not bother to knock on the door, but rather he pushed it opened and entered the room.\u00a0 Immediately, Joe noted that his father\u2019s angry had not diminished.\u00a0 If anything, Ben seemed madder than he had in the beginning.\u00a0 Joe could only wonder what Miss Cromwell might have told his father to irritate him further.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSit down,\u201d Ben ordered, pointing to the chair.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe swallowed hard but quickly took a seat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYoung man,\u201d Ben started.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt was an accident, honest\u2026Pa,\u201d gulped Joe interrupting his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNot according to Nora\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, it was!\u201d stormed Joe, jumping to his feet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t take that tone with me, young man,\u201d warned Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe took a deep breath to calm himself.\u00a0 No sense in making matters worse for himself than what they already were.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m\u2026sorry, sir, but if she told you I did it on purpose, then she\u2019s\u2026.hmm\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s eyes darkened.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAre you about to say that Nora is lying?\u201d Ben asked, hardly able to believe what his son was about to say.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe glanced with downcast eyes up at his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIf that\u2019s what she told you\u2026then\u2026I\u2026reckon so,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The wind expelled from Ben\u2019s lungs.\u00a0 His hands were firmly planted on his hips as he glared at the boy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cShe said you\u2019d probably claim that it was an accident\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIT WAS!\u201d stormed Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJOSEPH!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa\u2026but it was, honest.\u00a0 I came into the kitchen\u2026I was gonna get some of those cookies that Hop Sing made this morning\u2026and when I came in\u2026there she was, standing in a chair trying to reach the flour sack.\u00a0 I guess, when I slammed the door, it startled her.\u00a0 I saw that she was about to fall so I rushed over to help her\u2026that\u2019s when the flour sack fell on her head and\u2026covered her with flour\u2026honest\u2026that\u2019s the truth, Pa\u2026honest\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben folded his arms across his chest and studied the boy\u2019s face intently.\u00a0 He knew it wasn\u2019t like the boy to lie\u2026but so much had happened since he\u2019d met Nora and brought her home.\u00a0 Joe had seemed to change.\u00a0 Something deep inside of him whispered that he knew the boy and the woman had mixed feelings about one another.\u00a0 Oh\u2026who was he kidding\u2026Little Joe just plain out and out did not like Nora, though Ben could not figure why on earth not, Adam and Hoss seemed to accept her.\u00a0 Ben watched how the boy fidgeted.\u00a0 Was he lying\u2026why?\u00a0 Was the boy jealous of his love for Nora?\u00a0 Did Joe feel threatened by her\u2026what was the underlying cause of the boy disliking Nora so much?\u00a0 Nora seemed to honestly be trying to get along with his youngest son\u2026but Joe certainly wasn\u2019t making it easy for her.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIf that\u2019s the honest truth, Joseph, then explain to me why Nora would lie to me\u2026why would she want to make you out to be the villain?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe slowly raised his head so that he could see his father\u2019s face.\u00a0 He sighed softly as he noted that Ben\u2019s hard features had softened some.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCause\u2026she don\u2019t like me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cProbably because you don\u2019t much like her either, wouldn\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes widened.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t been aware that his father had known of his dislike of the woman.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he murmured.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhy do you think she doesn\u2019t like you, Joe?\u201d Ben asked, moving to the chair that Joe had vacated and sitting down.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shrugged his shoulders.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThen answer me this\u2026why don\u2019t you like her?\u00a0 What has she done to make you unhappy with her\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cEverything!\u201d Joe spouted.\u00a0 \u201cShe lies about me to you\u2026about the things that happen to her.\u00a0 She blames me for everything\u2026she makes you believe I\u2019m at fault\u2026when it ain\u2019t me\u2026she\u2019s just a dump ole lady that can\u2019t do anything right and she tries to make it look like I\u2019m the cause of her\u2026stupidity\u2026all to make herself look good to you\u2026and your just too blind\u2026to see through her stupid act!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben rose from the chair as anger washed over him.\u00a0 He grabbed Joe by both arms, gripping hard.\u00a0 He pulled the boy close to him, causing Joe to rise to his toes.\u00a0 His voice was deep and thick and Joe, when he looked into the dark eyes, drew back slightly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat will be enough!\u00a0 How dare you call Nora names\u2026and me\u2026that is the rudest, most immature thing you have done in\u2026ages!\u00a0 I\u2019m shocked and disappointed in you, young man!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben released his grip on Joe\u2019s arms.\u00a0 Joe took a step backward.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIf you were five years younger, I\u2019d wash your mouth out with a bar of lye soap.\u00a0 As it is, I\u2019ve a good mind to take a strap to you\u2026but I won\u2019t\u2026not as angry as I am at this moment\u2026but you are confined to this room until further notice!\u00a0 Now get ready for bed\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stomped to the door where he paused and looked back.\u00a0 Joe had lowered his head and Ben could see that the boy was fighting not to cry.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd good night to you!\u201d he growled as he walked from the room, leaving Joe alone to ponder the errors of his way.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was three days before his father had finally relented and allowed Joe to leave the room.\u00a0 Over those long lonely days, Joe had time to reflect on all that had happened.\u00a0 He knew in his heart that had not done anything on purpose to hurt or embarrass Miss Cromwell, but he was filled to brim with guilt.\u00a0 His father loved her\u2026he should too, for his father\u2019s sake.\u00a0Or, he should at least try harder to like the lady, but he just couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 It was hard to like someone who didn\u2019t like you back and harder yet to like someone whom you knew in your heart was planning on hurting the one person whom you truly did love.\u00a0 That was what Joe saw in the future for his father\u2026hurt and disappointment.\u00a0 Nora was after something, though Joe had no clue what it could be.\u00a0 He assumed it was his father\u2019s money\u2026or his land holdings.\u00a0 It grieved him to think how happy his father appeared to be\u2026only to know that it was a matter of time before his heart would be broken.\u00a0 It would be different than when his mother died.\u00a0 At least his mother had died loving his father\u2026Ben had that to sustain himself throughout the years.\u00a0 But how would he deal with the fact that he\u2019d been made to look like a fool?\u00a0 Joe shuddered just thinking about it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n From behind the tree, the boy watched as the woman disembarked from her carriage.\u00a0 There was no denying the fact she was a beautiful woman, considering her age.\u00a0 Joe quickly allowed his hazel eyes to take in each fine detail of the woman\u2019s persona, from her delicately feathered bonnet to her neatly laced shoes.\u00a0 It was no wonder that his father was so taken with the lady, she was, as Adam had stated, a fine example of the feminine sexes\u2026whatever that meant, he thought.\u00a0 But Joe knew that the lovely lady wasn\u2019t everything she presented herself to be, she had a nasty streak that his father wasn\u2019t aware of.\u00a0 But Joe knew.\u00a0 Without realizing it, his hand moved to the right side of his face, where she had slapped him the night before.\u00a0 He could still feel the burning sensation that had stung his cheek when, without warning, her anger had overwhelmed her and she had become as vicious as any angry grizzly bear he could have imagined.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And it had been for what? Joe thought as he watched the woman from behind his hiding place.\u00a0 He had been working in the barn when she had come in, interrupting him and insisting that he saddle a horse for her.\u00a0 When he tried to explain that there wasn\u2019t a saddle that she could use, she had shouted at him, using words that he had never heard before, except once when he had been allowed to go with Adam into the saloon.\u00a0 And as soon as his brother had heard him listening to the conversation among some of the men, he had hauled the younger brother\u2019s butt out of there so fast, Joe\u2019s feet barely touched the ground.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora had grabbed a saddle from the rack and flung it across the mare\u2019s back and set about trying to saddle the horse on her own.\u00a0 Joe warned her that the cinch needed repairing, but she accused him of lying just so that she couldn\u2019t go riding.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHonest, Miss Cromwell\u2026it needs fixing\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNonsense!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou could fall\u2026and get hurt\u2026\u201d cautioned Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNot likely\u2026being as how this thing works just fine,\u201d growled the woman as she finished saddling the mare.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora led the horse to the door but Joe grabbed the horse\u2019s bridle and stopped the lady from leaving the barn.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPlease ma\u2019am\u2026I ain\u2019t lying to you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGet out of my way,\u201d she ordered, her eyes daring him to defy her.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe refused to move his hand from the bridle.\u00a0 His jaw tightened.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo ma\u2019am\u2026I won\u2019t.\u00a0 If you use this saddle, you\u2019ll get hurt\u2026and I can\u2019t let that happen.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2026you can\u2019t?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026my mama was killed by a fall from a horse\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPerhaps she was a novice\u2026I am not, now let go of that horse before I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMy mother was an excellent rider\u2026much better than you are\u2026I\u2019ve seen how you ride and in my opinion, you need a teacher\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhy you little\u2026I order you\u2026let go now\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gulped.\u00a0 His father would be furious with him if he had heard the way he had spoken to the woman, but Joe knew his father would be angrier with him if he allowed Miss Cromwell to ride out of here knowing that the saddle cinch needed fixing.\u00a0 If the woman did get hurt\u2026well\u2026Joe didn\u2019t want to think about what his father might be tempted to do to him then.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t been in his father\u2019s favor for several days though he\u2019d tried, but if he let anything happen to this woman whom his father had fallen in love with, Joe feared that his father would never forgiven him\u2026ever!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d he said firmly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAweeee,\u201d screened Joe as his hand flew to his cheek.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora took advantage of the fact that Joe had released his grip on the bridle and quickly led the horse from the barn.\u00a0 As she swung into the saddle, she turned back to the boy who was leaning against the wooden door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLet that be a lesson to you, Joseph\u2026you will not defy me\u2026ever.\u00a0 And once your father and I are married\u2026well\u2026you just wait, I have plans for you!\u201d shouted Nora as she whirled the mare around and galloped from the yard.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe watched for a moment longer, until the lady and horse disappeared from sight.\u00a0 When he turned back to his work, he made a tiny screech.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSorry, buddy\u2026didn\u2019t mean to scare you\u2026say\u2026what happened to your face?\u201d Adam, who had entered the barn unannounced through the rear door, took Joe\u2019s chin in his hands and turned the boy\u2019s face toward the light.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a hand print, Joe\u2026who hit you?\u201d Adam said, his voice deep with emotion as he inspected the blazing red print on his brother\u2019s face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe jerked his chin away and tried to move passed Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s nothing\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNothing\u2026it\u2019s a hand print\u2026now I want to know who hit you\u2026I know it wasn\u2019t Pa\u2026and Hoss isn\u2019t here\u2026not that he\u2019d hit you if he were, I know better.\u00a0 Now who was it, Joe?\u201d Adam demanded.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter, Adam\u2026really,\u201d Joe stated.\u00a0 \u201cI got chores need finishing\u2026\u201d he said as he moved deeper into the barn.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For a long moment, Adam stood still, thinking.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhere\u2019s the mare?\u201d he asked, changing the subject.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMiss Cromwell took her out for a ride\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam spun around, searching the barn with his dark eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd what saddle did she use?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes sought his brother\u2019s face.\u00a0 He nodded toward the empty rack where the saddle had been kept.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat saddle has a bad cinch\u2026why on earth didn\u2019t you tell her, Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI tried\u2026but she accused me of\u2026lying to her\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLying\u2026why would she do that?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cShe doesn\u2019t like me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh, don\u2019t be ridiculous\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not\u2026she doesn\u2019t like me\u2026don\u2019t matter\u2026I don\u2019t like her either.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell why on earth not\u2026she\u2019s a nice lady\u2026and she makes our father quite happy, in case you haven\u2019t noticed,\u201d Adam said as he stepped over to Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe was silent as Adam studied the boy\u2019s expression.\u00a0 His brother looked unhappy\u2026and worried.\u00a0 Gently, Adam placed his hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder and turned the boy around so that he could look his brother in the eyes.\u00a0 The bright red handprint looked like a fresh brand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDid she do this to you?\u201d Adam asked softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe had lowered his head so that he would not have to look Adam eye to eye.\u00a0 Slowly he nodded his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI done told you, Adam\u2026she doesn\u2019t like me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOkay, so she doesn\u2019t like you\u2026that\u2019s no reason to hit you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI told her she couldn\u2019t take the mare\u2026I tried to explain about the cinch\u2026but she didn\u2019t believe me.\u00a0 She called me names and then\u2026she slapped me.\u00a0 Before I could stop her\u2026she was gone\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh brother\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam had no sooner made his declaration than the two of them noticed Nora walking slowly across the yard.\u00a0 They watched her progress but when they saw the woman drop to the ground, both ran from the barn to the woman\u2019s side.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora\u2019s bonnet was lopsided on her head.\u00a0 The pins holding her hair had come loose and several wayward strands hung about her face.\u00a0 Her clothing was covered in a fine layer of dirt and dust and her face was smudged with mud.\u00a0 It was obvious by the sweat that beaded on her brow, that the woman had walked a good ways before finally collapsing in the center of the yard.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam dropped to his knees and gently raised the battered woman\u2019s head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMiss Cromwell\u2026are you alright?\u201d he insisted.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2026my\u2026\u201d she moaned, looking sadly up at Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe, get some water.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Immediately Joe did as his brother had asked and soon returned with the dipper filled with cool water.\u00a0 He knelt down, handing the dipper to Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carefully, Adam held the ladle to the lady\u2019s lips and allowed her to drink a small amount.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cFeeling better?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora nodded her head and turned to look up at Joe.\u00a0 Her eyes danced with anger.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThis is your fault!\u201d she growled at the boy.\u00a0 \u201cYou just wait until your father comes home\u2026I\u2019ll see to it that he takes a strap to your backside this time for sure!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe, too stunned to utter a word, backed up as Nora Cromwell got to her feet.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s arm was about the woman\u2019s arm, trying to help her get her balance back.\u00a0 He was shocked at her words.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMiss Cromwell\u2026surely, you don\u2019t blame the boy?\u00a0 He tried to tell you about the cinch, but you insisted\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora yanked her arm from Adam\u2019s gentle grasp and turned her wrath on him instead.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou just mind your own business, Mr. High and Mighty!\u201d she stormed as she turned and marched toward the house.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe glanced up at Adam; his brother\u2019s expression was dark.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat are we gonna do, Adam\u2026surely Pa ain\u2019t going to marry that\u2026that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCareful, Little Joe,\u201d Adam warned with a twisted smile as he slipped his arm about his brother\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cLet it alone\u2026for now.\u00a0 Come on\u2026let\u2019s go find that mare\u2026I\u2019ll have a talk with Pa\u2026later.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAlright, Adam\u2026but I sure hope Pa comes to his senses in time.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam glanced down at his younger brother and smile.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t say anything\u2026mainly because he didn\u2019t want to worry his brother, but in fact, he was hoping the same thing.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Once again, Joe was confined to his room, this time for a whole week.\u00a0 If his father had thought for one minute that punishing him in such a way would change how he felt toward the obnoxious woman, Ben was wrong, determined the boy.\u00a0 The days spent in his room, only caused him to brood and his dislike of Nora Cromwell only deepened.\u00a0 He hated her\u2026and he resented her.\u00a0 Why couldn\u2019t his father see what she was?\u00a0 Was it true, that love was blind?\u00a0 Surely it must be\u2026his father certainly seemed to be!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n To add to his present misery, Adam had gone out of town and wasn\u2019t expected back until next week.\u00a0 Joe had thought for sure that his brother might have had time to speak with their father\u2026about Nora slapping him\u2026but if he had, his father had not appeared to care, for nothing had been said to him about it.\u00a0 He\u2019d figured that Ben would have come to him, boldly declaring that he\u2019d never marry a woman who would be as daring as to strike a son of his!\u00a0 Joe had been disappointed once again and as he brooded over his fate, the guilt ate away at him.\u00a0 It gnawed at his insides, causing his stomach to become upset.\u00a0 It pried its way into his sleep, causing him nightmares and twice in one week, he was awaken by the sounds of his own screaming.\u00a0 Joe had lain in bed, sweat dotting his brow as he waited for his father to come to him, but Ben never appeared\u2026causing the resentment to fester and grow and eat away at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n By the time that Joe was released from his punishment, he was sullen and withdrawn.\u00a0 His behavior did not go unnoticed by his father.\u00a0 Ben worried and fretted about the boy.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s unhappiness troubled him.\u00a0 It saddened him to know that the boy was so obvious miserable and that it stemmed from his relationship with Nora.\u00a0 Joe wasn\u2019t the only one who had sleepless nights or on the nights when he did sleep, strange, distorted nightmares haunted his dreams.\u00a0 Unbeknown to his son, Ben was beginning to feel guilty.\u00a0 The reasons were different, yet somewhat akin to his son\u2019s.\u00a0 Was it worth his boy\u2019s unhappiness and peace of mind\u2026marrying Nora, thought Ben.\u00a0 He\u2019d been in hopes that by marrying her, he\u2019d be able to give his sons what had always been lacking in their lives, and that was a mother.\u00a0 But at certain times, things just didn\u2019t look as if they were working out.\u00a0 Everything had gone wrong.\u00a0 Joe had found himself in more trouble than he had in most of his earlier years.\u00a0 He was argumentative and quarrelsome\u2026he\u2019d even become defiant and bad-tempered.\u00a0Adam had found excuses to stay away\u2026sometimes for days and Ben knew by watching his youngest son, that Joe had been missing his brother.\u00a0 Hoss\u2026well\u2026Hoss was just Hoss, kind and considerate regardless of his own feelings toward someone, even Nora.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As Ben thought about his sons, he questioned himself as to whether or not he was doing the right thing, by marrying Nora.\u00a0 And then, when he\u2019d just about reach a decision, she\u2019d walk into the room, and he\u2019d take one look and his resolve would melt, and he\u2019d know in his heart that he loved her.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n At the sound of the door opening and closing, Joe moved around the trunk of the tree and watched as his father hurried across the yard to greet his guest in time to help her from the buggy.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s lips twisted into a smirk as he watched how the woman smiled and slipped her slender arms about his father\u2019s neck in a warm embrace.\u00a0 He shut his eyes in order to escape the passionate kiss that Nora rendered to his father\u2019s lips as her hungry lips welded with Ben\u2019s.\u00a0 Inside, silently, Joe groaned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When he peered at the couple again, they had begun moving toward the house.\u00a0 It was then that he stepped from around the tree and raced for the barn, but not quickly enough.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJOSEPH!\u201d his father called.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Instantly, Joe stopped and turned around, forcing himself to smile politely at the couple.\u00a0 Ben laughed in a strange sort of way and waved his son toward him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe\u2026come over here and say hello to Nora,\u201d Ben issued; his arm lingered about the woman\u2019s shoulders.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora Cromwell smiled at the boy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHello, Joseph,\u201d she said kindly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe walked reluctantly toward his father and the woman.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAfternoon, ma\u2019am,\u201d Joe said, greeting his father\u2019s guest as requested.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora laughed lightly.\u00a0 \u201cMy, aren\u2019t you the gentleman\u2026today!\u00a0 Your father has certainly managed to drill something into you lately!\u201d she smiled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe said nothing regarding the compliment, but rather looked up at his father, half expecting his father to make a comment about Nora\u2019s statement.\u00a0 But if Ben had picked up on the sarcasm, he wasn\u2019t speaking up about it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIs it alright if I go fishing, Pa?\u00a0 I won\u2019t be gone long,\u201d he questioned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHave you finished your chores?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes sir\u2026well, everything but the tact room, and it\u2019s almost finished,\u201d explained Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, when that is finished, you may go\u2026but don\u2019t be late, son, Nora is having supper with us tonight,\u201d Ben smiled down at the lady.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe noticed that Nora reached for his father\u2019s hand and held it, their fingers entwined together.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd I told you\u2026we have something to talk to you boys tonight,\u201d Ben said in a strange tone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben glanced down at Nora and then looked at Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI have an announcement to make that might surprise you,\u201d he said, directing his statement to his son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe had his suspicions as to what the announcement was going to be and he hated the idea\u2026just has he hated the woman.\u00a0 But he loved his father dearly and thus he had kept his dislike of his father\u2019s lady friend to himself, up until the other night, when he had blurted out to his father how he really felt about Nora.\u00a0 Ben had been angry at first and then a look of regret had formed in his eyes.\u00a0 Joe felt bad for being the cause of his father\u2019s unhappiness, but he couldn\u2019t help the way he felt\u2026could he?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI haven\u2019t forgotten,\u201d Joe said as he turned to go.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He was hard pressed to hide the disgust in his voice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh,\u201d he said, pausing, \u201cthanks, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben watched as Joe disappeared into the barn and then turned, looking down at Nora and noting the frown that had replaced the smile.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIs something wrong, Nora?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The frown suddenly disappeared as the smile took its place.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026I suppose not\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben gently tilted Nora\u2019s chin up so that he could look directly into the woman\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou have something on your mind\u2026what is it?\u201d he asked gently.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh Ben,\u201d Nora smiled, \u201cYou know me so well\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThen tell me what is bothering you,\u201d he said in a thick voice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt is\u2026well\u2026it\u2019s the boy\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe boy?\u00a0 You mean Little Joe?\u00a0 What about him?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, Ben\u2026its probably nothing\u2026maybe it\u2019s just me\u2026but\u2026I don\u2019t think the boy likes me very well\u2026\u201d Nora said softly, looking at Ben with large, sad eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI was so hoping that he would\u2026that all your sons would like me\u2026after all\u2026in a matter of few weeks\u2026I will be their mother\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben glanced toward the barn.\u00a0 Inside, moving about, he could see Little Joe tending to his chores.\u00a0 He had feared almost the same thing, in the beginning, that Joe would resent the fact that he might have a new mother.\u00a0 The concerned father had hoped that his youngest son would take joy in the fact that he was going to have a complete family\u2026with both a father and a mother.\u00a0 Now he realized that he had acted in haste, having not taken the time to feel the boy out about how Joe felt toward Nora and the fact that she would be joining the family.\u00a0 He sighed deeply.\u00a0 They did have their differences; the last few weeks had proven that. And the truth had come out\u2026Joe disliked Nora\u2026with a passion that he\u2019d never seen in his son before.\u00a0 He\u2019d have to tell her soon\u2026that Joe wasn\u2019t happy\u2026that he didn\u2019t know what it would take to make him happy, short of not marrying her that is.\u00a0 And Ben had considered even that.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBen,\u201d Nora cooed, \u201cplease, don\u2019t worry\u2026I\u2019m sure it\u2019s just me\u2026Little Joe is a fine young man\u2026a bit rough around the edges yet, but I\u2019m sure after we\u2019re married\u2026I can change that.\u00a0 Come on, let\u2019s go inside,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2026by the way, Ben\u2026there\u2019s something wrong with the buggy\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThere is\u2026well don\u2019t worry, darling, I\u2019ll have Hoss take a look at it for you, before you leave tonight,\u201d Ben smiled as he walked slowly toward the house with Nora.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora pulled gently away from Ben, glancing at the boy inside the barn as she turned to go.\u00a0 She\u2019d already forgotten the buggy; the boy was ever present in her thoughts.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Oh yes\u2026I will certainly take charge of that Little Problem!\u2019 <\/em>her thoughts buzzed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n That night the family gathered around the table, anxiously waiting for the special meal that Hop Sing had prepared.\u00a0 Ben sat in his usual place, while to his right Nora Cromwell sat erect and graceful.\u00a0 To the elder Cartwright\u2019s left, sat his middle son, Hoss, dressed in his finest and to the big man\u2019s left sat the youngest Cartwright, squirming uncomfortably in his seat.\u00a0 At the far end of the table, Adam, eldest son sat upright, neatly dressed in his dark suit.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He glanced at his youngest brother, making a scowl across his forehead.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSit still,\u201d he murmured lowly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe puckered up his lips and tried to stop wiggling.\u00a0 He glanced down the length of the table just in time to see his father smile warmly to the woman.\u00a0 Nora returned the smile, batting her long, thick lashes at his father.\u00a0 A low groan escaped unnoticed passed his lips.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph!\u201d whispered Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave his brother a mean look.\u00a0 Before he could say anything, Hop Sing appeared from the kitchen carrying in the dishes.\u00a0 Carefully he placed the items on the table, quickly returning to the kitchen to carry more.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Before long, everyone was enjoying the meal and the cheerful and light conversation.\u00a0 All that is, but one.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe poked carelessly at the food on his plate.\u00a0 From lowered lashes, he kept close watch on the woman and his father.\u00a0 The boy\u2019s eyes constantly observed his father\u2019s face and noted the varying expressions that changed regularly.\u00a0 He noted the soft, light tint that appeared on the lady\u2019s cheeks.\u00a0 Both looked happy, thought Joe, wondering briefly if he had only been imagining that the woman seemed superficial in her affections toward his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Considering the fact, Joe also began doubting himself and his attitude about his father\u2019s interest in bringing the woman into their home as a part of their family.\u00a0 Joe bristled at the thought.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t like her, thinking back to the last few days when everything concerning her had seemed to point the finger of guilt at him, he decided right then and there that his dislike of her was justified.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Perhaps he was being childish and immature, as his father had suggested.\u00a0 Or maybe he was jealous of his father\u2019s attention or lack of, since Nora had become a near regular around the place, coming and going at will, demanding all the attention from not only his father, but his brothers as well.\u00a0 Another heavy sigh escaped.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOuch!\u201d Joe said, turning toward his oldest brother and giving Adam an angry glare.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhy\u2019d ya kick me?\u201d he muttered, checking to see if his father had heard his outburst.\u00a0 But Ben was saying something to Nora, who hung on every word his father spoke.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBe quiet,\u201d Adam warned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u00a0 They don\u2019t even know we\u2019re here\u2026they might as well be alone for all they\u2019ve said to one of us,\u201d snapped Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDid you say something, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s deep voice brought a halt to another retort.\u00a0 Joe looked down the table, seeing Ben\u2019s expectant expression.\u00a0 He forced himself to smile, crammed his mouthful and shook his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo sir,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora said something then to his father, drawing Ben\u2019s attention back to himself.\u00a0 Joe glanced at Adam, noting the slight frown on his brother\u2019s handsome face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam,\u201d Joe said softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam glanced at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDid you tell him?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTell who what?\u201d Adam asked, confused by the question.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2026you know\u2026\u201d Joe hinted, rubbing his hand against the cheek where Nora had slapped him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam\u2019s lips tightened as he shook his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry Joe\u2026I haven\u2019t had time\u2026besides\u2026I can never catch him alone anymore\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah\u2026I know what you mean,\u201d the boy stated as he looked down the length of the table at his father and the woman.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora happened to look up and saw both Adam and Joe watching her.\u00a0 She suddenly felt uncomfortable, but she smiled.\u00a0 Ben was saying something.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIf you boys have finished with your supper,\u201d Ben began.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe noted that his father wasn\u2019t smiling and only assumed that it was because of him, knowing how he hated the woman and having to stand before them and announce that he would soon be marrying Miss Nora Cromwell.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben pushed back his chair and stood up.\u00a0 Joe swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in the back of his throat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Here it comes,\u2019<\/em> he thought sadly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAs you know, Nora and I have been seeing a lot of each other over the last several weeks.\u201d\u00a0 Ben smiled, but the smile seemed strained.\u00a0 He glanced at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I\u2019m sure you boys are aware how much Miss Cromwell has come to mean to me\u2026\u201d he looked down at Nora.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I to her\u2026I\u2019ve asked Nora here tonight\u2026to have supper with the four of us\u2026because I have\u2026something to say\u2026first to her\u2026and then to you,\u201d Ben said as he glanced from one face to the other.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt might not be\u2026what you boys were expecting\u2026but I assure you, I\u2019ve given great thought to my decision\u2026and I\u2019ve spent several hours praying about it\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I was so much in hopes that each of you\u2026would accept Nora\u2026not only as my wife\u2026but as\u2026your mother as well\u2026and that she could come to care for\u2026each of you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s eyes rested on Little Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 He noted the glistening of tears in the hazel depths and the sight caused his heart to skip a beat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut\u2026\u201d Ben paused and took a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cI have decided that the time is \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Before Ben could finish his statement a loud pounding on the door interrupted him.\u00a0 Everyone at the table exchanged startled looks.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI get door\u2026stay in seats,\u201d Hop Sing muttered as he quickly padded to the front door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When he pulled it opened, a man, covered in dirt, dust and ashes stumbled into the room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam quickly jumped to his feet and moved to the doorway.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cFire!\u201d the man blurted.\u00a0 \u201cMr. Cartwright\u2026there\u2019s fire on the mountain!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat!\u201d stammered Ben as Hoss joined Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe and Nora moved more slowly and stood behind the three elder Cartwrights as they waited for the stranger to explain to them where the fire was burning.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Breathlessly the man tried to explain.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBack that way\u2026halfway up the ridge, near the new lumber camp\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe new camp\u2026\u201d stammered Ben as he quickly grabbed his gun belt and hat from the credenza behind the door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWho are you?\u201d Adam asked as he too strapped on his gun belt.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJim\u2026Jim Holder\u2026I\u2019m one of the new men, Mr. Griffin, your foreman hired.\u00a0 He sent me down here\u2026to fetch you.\u00a0 He said to bring shovels, axes\u2026buckets and all the men you can spare\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAlright\u2026Hoss\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes sir\u2026I\u2019ll wake the men in the bunkhouse and load the needed items\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cGood, Adam you and I will ride up to the camp\u2026\u201d Ben said as he started out the door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat about me, Pa\u2026what\u2019cha want me to do to help?\u201d Joe called as he stood in the doorway watching his father and brothers about to leave.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben paused, momentarily thinking\u2026\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2026please, I need you to take Miss Cromwell home\u2026see that she gets there safely!\u00a0 Nora\u2026we\u2019ll talk later\u2026I hope you understand\u2026but this is very important.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora, a deep frown showing in her expression, tried to hide her disappointment.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI understand perfectly, Ben\u2026you\u2026hurry on\u2026put that fire out and we\u2019ll\u2026try again tomorrow,\u201d she said, forcing a sweet smile to show her approval.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He moved to his youngest son and placed a hand on the boy\u2019s slender shoulder.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPlease take Nora home, son\u2026I don\u2019t know how long I\u2019ll be or how bad the fire is\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPA\u2026COME ON!\u201d shouted Adam as he tossed his father Buck\u2019s reins.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben hurried to mount up.\u00a0 Seconds later, Joe found himself alone in the yard with Nora.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t sure about the look on her face, but knew he was more than willing to take her home.\u00a0 He regretted that the mountain was on fire, but he was thankful for the fact that his father had not been able to complete his announcement\u2026though it was for certain that Nora wasn\u2019t please.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll hitch your buggy, Miss Cromwell\u2026why don\u2019t you get your wrap\u2026and then I\u2019ll be happy to take you home?\u201d Joe said meekly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nora turned angry, dark eyes on the boy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOhhh\u2026.I just bet you will!\u201d she stormed as she marched angrily toward the house.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stifled a giggle.\u00a0 Despite the fire, he was happy with the way the evening had turned out.\u00a0 \u2018And I don\u2019t even feel guilty about it!\u2019<\/em> he snickered.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe was waiting next to the buggy when Nora appeared.\u00a0 She walked or rather stomped over to the passenger side and waited for Joe to give her a hand into the buggy.\u00a0 But Joe, feeling somewhat on the mischievous side tonight, acted as though he didn\u2019t see her and climbed instead, into his side of the buggy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Disgusted with the boy, Nora climbed into the buggy and settled herself, but not before hanging the hem of her dress on the side of the buggy and ripping the fabric.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDamn!\u201d she cursed and then suddenly glanced at Little Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI suppose you find that shocking?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d Joe said as he slapped the reins down on the horse\u2019s rump.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMy language\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026I\u2019ve heard worse,\u201d Joe admitted.\u00a0 \u201cBut not from a lady\u2026it\u2019s usually one of the saloon girls that talks trashy like that\u2026but then, you wouldn\u2019t consider them a lady, would you?\u201d Joe said arrogantly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe heard Nora make a growling sound deep in the back of her throat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t consider me much of a lady\u2026do you?\u201d she snapped.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked into her face and smiled.\u00a0 He looked so young when he wanted too.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHonestly\u2026I don\u2019t consider you much of anything\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhy you vile, inconsiderate little bastard!\u201d she shouted as she flung her arms and hands at him in a failing attempt to strike him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe was forced to cover his face with his arms.\u00a0 Nora continued to assault him with blows, using her handbag to hit him.\u00a0 She ranted and raved, screaming obscenities at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The horse, frightened by the loud ruckus that seemed to be following him and feeling the reins go slack, bolted into a run.\u00a0 The buggy was tossed from side to side.\u00a0 The woman stopped fighting Joe as she struggled to keep from being tossed from her seat.\u00a0 Little Joe tried to regain control of the runaway horse, but he was unable to reach the reins.\u00a0 There was nothing left to do but hold on and hope that the frightened mare would soon tire out and come to a stop.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The buggy continued to be tossed to and fro.\u00a0 The wheels hit the ruts in the road and the rocks jarred them both.\u00a0 They were thrown from one side to the other, banging their heads together as the horse galloped faster and faster.\u00a0 Joe was suddenly flung to the floor, hitting his head hard.\u00a0 He heard himself cry out and felt the warmth of his own blood as it seeped down his forehead and into his eyes.\u00a0 Nora screamed and then suddenly Joe heard a loud cracking sound.\u00a0 He caught a glimpse of the horse\u2026but it was heading off in another direction.\u00a0 The buggy veered off to the left, hit a rock and suddenly became airborne.\u00a0 Nora screamed again, louder this time as the buggy plummeted down an embankment.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe felt his body flying though the air and then a sharp stabbing pain in his left shoulder.\u00a0 He hit the ground hard, forcing the wind from his lungs.\u00a0 Instant blackness surrounded him\u2026his world swirled before his eyes and then suddenly\u2026there was nothing\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhew\u2026I don\u2019t know about you two\u2026but I\u2019m plum tuckered out,\u201d Hoss announced as he swung his long legs across Chubb\u2019s broad back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m tired\u2026very tired,\u201d Ben agreed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He paused, looking around the yard.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Pa?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2026nothing\u2026I was just wondering if your brother\u2019s gotten back\u2026from taking Nora home,\u201d Ben explained.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss snickered softly, causing his father to stare at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSorry, Pa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat was so funny?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAw\u2026I was just imagining Little Joe\u2026being made to ride that far in a buggy\u2026with that\u2026ere\u2026I mean Miss Cromwell\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell\u2026I\u2019m sure your little brother was\u2026polite\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sure that little scamp took Nora home so fast, it made her head swim\u2026\u201d laughed Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI certainly hope not\u2026I\u2019d hate to think that Joe frightened her with his driving,\u201d Ben said, wondering if Joe would be so daring.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNaw\u2026don\u2019t worry about Little Joe\u2026it ain\u2019t no secret he don\u2019t like Miss Nora\u2026he ain\u2019t mean enough to actually be rude to her on purpose\u2026let alone scare her to death!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI suppose you\u2019re right, Hoss\u2026but I have been worried about him\u2026he seems\u2026so\u2026troubled\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMR. CARTWRIGHT!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben, Adam and Hoss had just opened the door to go inside.\u00a0 Now they all stopped and turned around to see who had called for them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat now,\u201d muttered Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His weariness was plain to see.\u00a0 His dirty face was streaked with ashes and soot.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDoc Martin sent me to get ya\u2026there\u2019s been an accident\u2026sir,\u201d the caller announced.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAccident?\u201d repeated Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat kind of accident\u2026who\u2019s been hurt?\u201d Ben demanded as he stood beside the man\u2019s horse.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe buggy\u2026something broke and it crashed over the cliff\u2026that woman ya been seeing\u2026what\u2019s her name\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNora Cromwell\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah\u2026that\u2019s her\u2026she\u2019s dead, Mr. Cartwright\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWHAT!\u201d Ben practically shouted.\u00a0 \u201cDear God\u2026\u201d he stammered, looking with frightened eyes at both his sons.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe\u2026.\u201d He muttered.\u00a0 He spun around, grabbing the man\u2019s pant\u2019s leg.\u00a0 \u201cWhat about my son\u2026Joseph\u2026he was driving the buggy\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s why the doc sent me, Mr. Cartwright\u2026ya boy\u2019s been hurt\u2026something bad\u2026Doc said ya should hurry\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDear Lord\u2026no\u2026please\u2026not Little Joe!\u201d Ben cried.\u00a0 \u201cMount up,\u201d he ordered Adam and Hoss as he did the same.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n All the weariness he\u2019d been feeling moments before, had vanished.\u00a0 Ben Cartwright had only one thing on his mind now\u2026and that was getting to his youngest son, Little Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben burst through the door into the doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 Just as quickly, Mrs. Martin appeared from another room. She saw the frightened expression that Ben wore and quickly rushed to him.\u00a0 Ben tried to push his way passed her, attempting to get to his son whom he knew lay just beyond, in the other room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMr. Cartwright, please,\u201d Mrs. Martin pleaded as she grabbed both arms of the distraught father, \u201cyou can\u2019t go in there\u2026not yet\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI want to see my boy!\u201d Ben said in a thick, troubled tone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa, wait,\u201d cautioned Adam as he and Hoss both stepped between their father and the door that separated them from the wounded boy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLet the doc finish with his work\u2026then,\u201d Adam said softly, \u201cHe\u2019ll let us see Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s worried eyes sought his son\u2019s face.\u00a0 It took a moment for Adam\u2019s words to sink in, but when they did, Ben sighed heavily, his shoulders slumped in defeat.\u00a0 He looked about ready to cry as he lowered his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThis is all my fault,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss cast Adam a grim look.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat ain\u2019t so and ya know it, Pa.\u00a0 It t\u2019was an accident\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked up, his expression showed his disheartened emotions.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t understand\u2026the buggy\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Just as Ben was about to explain, the door to the other room opened and Doctor Paul Martin appeared.\u00a0 His expression was haggard.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDoctor\u2026my son\u2026how is he?\u201d Ben instantly demanded.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paul shook his head sadly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI won\u2019t lie to you, Ben\u2026we\u2019ve been friends too long for that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s that suppose to mean?\u201d Adam vented.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt means\u2026your brother, Adam\u2026Ben\u2026your son\u2026is\u2026in a serious way.\u00a0 He\u2019s unconscious\u2026he has a broken shoulder and several cracked ribs.\u00a0 It looks as if his shoulder was slammed into something solid\u2026probably a sharp rock or perhaps a fallen tree.\u00a0 One finger on his right hand is broken\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIs all that life threatening?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNot necessarily\u2026but that\u2019s only part of it, Ben\u2026Joe has a\u2026serious head injury.\u00a0 I can\u2019t tell exactly how badly his head is hurt\u2026other than I\u2019m certain he has a concussion.\u00a0 It appears that he has hit his head more than once.\u00a0 He has a deep gash, here,\u201d Doc Martin pointed to his right temple, \u201cand here,\u201d he explained, pointing then to the left side at the back of his skull.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHis skull is fractured, here,\u201d he added, pointing to the spot at the back of his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHas he said anything?\u00a0 Does he know about\u2026Nora?\u201d Ben questioned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paul shook his head back and forth.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026he\u2019s been unconscious ever since they brought him in\u2026in fact, when Burke and Isaac found them\u2026Nora was already\u2026dead, Ben\u2026she probably died on impact and Joe was unresponsive\u2026nothing\u2019s changed.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry\u2026Ben\u2026about Joe\u2026and about Nora.\u00a0 I know how you must feel\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026you have no idea what I\u2019m feeling right at this moment,\u201d stated Ben.\u00a0 \u201cI want to see my son\u2026please.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAll right, but don\u2019t stay too long\u2026and Ben,\u201d Paul said as he reached out and placed his hand on his friend\u2019s arm, stopping Ben before he entered the room.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t fret about the way Joe looks, he\u2019s been battered about pretty badly\u2026but the bruises will fade\u2026in time and the cuts and scratches will heal.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben, his lips pinched tightly, only nodded his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The room, when Ben and his sons entered, was dimly lit.\u00a0 He moved silently to the bed, seeing his son covered with warm blankets lying deathly still.\u00a0 Ben gasped when he viewed the boy\u2019s face.\u00a0 It was chalky white except for the dark bruises that stood out in a stark contrast to the boy\u2019s paleness.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s head was wrapped in a clean, white bandage.\u00a0 The spot over his eye where he\u2019d hit cut and sustained a gash in his head, had already seeped blood through the bandages.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben leaned down, gently caressing Joe\u2019s battered face.\u00a0 His emotions were on the verge of overflowing as he gazed down at his son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh Joe\u2026I\u2019m so, so sorry\u2026\u201d whispered Ben in a thick voice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He swallowed the rush of emotion that threatened to spill forth.\u00a0 Tenderly, he picked up his son\u2019s right hand.\u00a0 The left hand was neatly tucked under the blanket, his left arm bound against his chest to prevent sudden movement that might cause more undo pain or injury to the boy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss pulled a chair up close to the bed, and offered it for his father.\u00a0 Ben nodded his appreciation as he sank down onto the seat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe looks\u2026so\u2026young,\u201d muttered Ben.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam gently squeezed his father\u2019s shoulder, unable to voice his own turmoil that ate away at his insides.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben held Joe\u2019s hand in both of his.\u00a0 His anxious eyes watched intently, his son\u2019s face, but the boy showed no movement or signs that he knew his father or brothers were at his bedside, keeping vigil.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The physician relented, allowing Ben to stay with the boy.\u00a0 The hours ticked by slowly, as Ben kept watch, always close by.\u00a0 Slowly, ever so slowly, Ben\u2019s loss and guilt began to tell on him.\u00a0 His unshaven face and sad, almost desperate eyes told more than he himself said about the situation at hand.\u00a0 Still, no amount of begging or pleading or even praying brought the results that Ben longed for.\u00a0 His youngest son lay deathly still, unresponsive in his near coma state of existence.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2026why don\u2019t you go get something to eat\u2026I\u2019ll stay with Joe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026I won\u2019t leave him,\u201d Ben said in a hoarse voice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa, please\u2026ya ain\u2019t doing the boy no good\u2026like ya are\u2026\u201d Hoss tried to convince his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI said, no.\u00a0 I can\u2019t leave him\u2026he might wake up and\u2026ask for me\u2026I have to be here, for him,\u201d Ben explained as he stared down into the ashen face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam took a deep breath and stepped forward, placing a reassuring hand on his bigger brother\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 He raised his dark brows in doubt but moved to his father\u2019s side and squatted down.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2026you\u2019re making yourself sick.\u00a0 No\u2026wait, please, let me finish,\u201d he said before Ben could deny the charge.\u00a0 \u201cYou haven\u2019t slept in three days\u2026and you\u2019ve barely eaten enough to keep a bird alive.\u00a0 What\u2019s going to happen, if Joe wakes up and\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhen\u2026Adam\u2026when Joe wakes up\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAlright\u2026when Joe wakes up\u2026he\u2019s going to need you\u2026but if you\u2019re down sick\u2026how can you take care of him?\u00a0 I know you\u2019re worried\u2026God, we all are\u2026and I know you\u2019re grieving over Nora\u2026but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t understand, Adam\u2026no one does,\u201d Ben said sadly.\u00a0 \u201cThis was my fault\u2026do you hear me\u2026my fault\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam glanced up at Hoss, noting the anxious look in the blue eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2026you can\u2019t blame yourself for what happened, it was an accident\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben\u2019s despondent eyes stared into Adam\u2019s face.\u00a0 He looked miserable and burdened down by his loss.\u00a0 Adam was worried, not only for his youngest brother, but for their father as well.\u00a0 He dared not think about what would become of this man who had always been his strength and his hero, should Joe not pull through.\u00a0 Ben would give up on life and wither slowly away.\u00a0 The thought made Adam shudder.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt was preventable\u2026and I did nothing.\u00a0 I caused Nora\u2019s death\u2026I am the cause of my baby lying in the bed, fighting for his life\u2026I\u2019m the reason your brother was so very unhappy\u2026I\u2019ve destroyed not one, but most likely two lives\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2026that\u2019s ridiculous,\u201d Adam said as he stood up.\u00a0 \u201cPlease, for Joe\u2019s sake, get some rest\u2026Paul said you could use the other examining room, look,\u201d he said as he moved to another door and opened it.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s right here, I promise to call you, the minute Joe starts to wake up\u2026I\u2019ll even leave the door opened if you like.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked at the boy lying in the bed.\u00a0 Nothing had changed in the three days that he\u2019d been there.\u00a0 The only movement Joe had made was when the doctor and his wife had come in to reposition him, to prevent bedsores and an onset of pneumonia.\u00a0 Slowly Ben rose from the chair he\u2019d been sitting in for hours.\u00a0 He leaned down and placed a kiss on Joe\u2019s brow.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be close by, son\u2026just in the other room.\u00a0 Please try, Joseph\u2026please, I need you to wake up,\u201d whispered Ben as he gave his son a second kiss.\u00a0 \u201cI love you, Little Joe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben, turned away, but not before Adam and Hoss saw the well of tears that had collected in the deep brown eyes.\u00a0 The tired older man walked passed his two sons, stopping at the door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWake me, Adam\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI will, Pa\u2026I promise.\u00a0 You just get some rest and when you wake up, I\u2019ll have your supper brought in\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you, son\u2026thank you, Hoss\u2026I\u2026I love both of you\u2026I\u2026hope you know that,\u201d Ben said unassumingly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAw\u2026shucks, Pa\u2026me and Adam knowed that since we was little fellas,\u201d Hoss stammered, slightly embarrassed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell\u2026I just wanted to remind you.\u00a0 Good night\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben had no idea that when he woke, refreshed, that he had been asleep for nearly fourteen hours.\u00a0 As soon as his eyes opened, he jumped from the bed and started toward the door that had, at some time, been closed.\u00a0 Catching his reflection in the mirror, he paused, startled by his unkempt appearance.\u00a0 More worried about his son than his appearance, Ben settled for running his fingers through his hair.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t appear to improve his looks, but it didn\u2019t matter, nothing mattered at this point but his son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When he entered Joe\u2019s room, Adam and Hoss smiled, seeing the difference several hours of undisturbed sleep had made in their father.\u00a0 Ben returned their smiles as he went straight to the bed where Joe lay.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019 he doing?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe same\u2026he hasn\u2019t moved,\u201d answered Adam.\u00a0 \u201cYou look rested,\u201d he smiled at his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben chuckled softly.\u00a0 \u201cYou were right Adam, I do feel better\u2026but I need a shave.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe noticed,\u201d Hoss said with a grin.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019s about if\u2019n I go over to the International House and get ya a bite to eat?\u201d he offered.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d like that, Hoss, thank you,\u201d Ben responded.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He sat down in the chair next to the bed and watched Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 How he longed for the boy to wake up\u2026there was so much he wanted to tell his son, that he had left unsaid.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss excused himself to fetch his father something to eat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI won\u2019t be gone long,\u201d Hoss said as he started to close the door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t hurry Hoss, I\u2019m fine\u2026stay and have something to eat\u2026I\u2019m sure you\u2019re hungry,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHow about a cup of coffee, Pa?\u201d Adam offered.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2026coffee\u2026that will be fine, thank you,\u201d Ben said as he stood up to rearrange the covers about Joe\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He stopped suddenly.\u00a0 He could have sworn that Joe\u2019s eyelids were fluttering.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam, hearing his father whispering to the boy, sat the coffee down and moved to the opposite side of the bed.\u00a0 He watched Joe\u2019s face for several moments.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSee that!\u201d Ben said, smiling across at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s trying to wake up!\u00a0 Joseph\u2026that\u2019s it son\u2026open your eyes.\u00a0 Come on\u2026almost\u2026that\u2019s it\u2026open them up!\u201d Ben encouraged.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After several attempts, Joe\u2019s eyes opened.\u00a0 He gazed about at the faces looming over him, but he looked as if he weren\u2019t really seeing them.\u00a0 Suddenly he bolted upright in the bed and began swinging his right fist at his father, Adam and the doctor.\u00a0 Joe shouted at them, but his words were slurred and made no sense to the adults.\u00a0 He became combative, fighting against the gentle hands that tried to subdue him.\u00a0 Doctor Martin quickly grabbed a syringe and while Adam held his brother\u2019s arm, the physician administered the injection.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI was afraid this might happen, Ben\u2026sometimes it does when a person suffers a head injury.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2026there, son\u2026calm down,\u201d cooed Ben.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re going to be fine\u2026settle down.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It took only a few short minutes before the drug began to take affect and Joe was resting more peaceful.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The physician checked the boy\u2019s vital signs and the then turned to the anxious father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe will sleep for a while, Ben\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI wanted to talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know\u2026but it will just have to wait for just a while longer.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re anxious, but for now, hopefully the worst is behind us,\u201d the doctor assured the worried father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The doctor was correct in his assumption, when Little Joe woke several hours later it was to find his father bending over him.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyelids fluttered and then opened.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell hello,\u201d Ben said, smiling for real for the first time in many days.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHi, Pa,\u201d Joe muttered weakly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWelcome back.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHave I been gone a long time?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cToo long, son\u2026too long.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gave his father a tiny smile as he closed his eyes.\u00a0 Seconds later, he re-opened them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCould I have a drink\u2026my mouth is horribly dry\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOf course,\u201d Ben said, already reaching for the pitcher and glass.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He helped Joe tilt the glass to his lips and allowed the boy to drink his fill.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThanks,\u201d muttered Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben turned to set the glass back on the table and then sat down in the chair, pulling it close to the bed.\u00a0 Joe watched, noticing how tired and worried his father looked.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s untidy appearance was noted as well as the fact that it had been days since his father had shaved.\u00a0 Ben seemed almost preoccupied.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2026what\u2019s wrong?\u201d Joe questioned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben forced a smile, though it was stressed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWrong\u2026why, nothing son\u2026why would you ask?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCause\u2026you look so\u2026so\u2026I don\u2019t know, Pa\u2026sad or maybe just\u2026different.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben allowed a rush of air to gush from his lungs.\u00a0 Still smiling, he moved from the chair to the edge of the bed and picked up Joe\u2019s right hand, holding it tightly in his own.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMaybe because I\u2019ve been so worried about you, young man.\u00a0 You did give us quite a scare,\u201d Ben explained as his smiled died.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2026what happened to me?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Surprised, Ben studied his son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t remember?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNot all of it\u2026I remember\u2026we were having supper\u2026and then there was a fire\u2026somewhere.\u00a0 I was in a buggy taking\u2026Miss Cromwell\u2026someplace\u2026\u201d Joe paused, looking as if he were trying to remember.\u00a0 \u201cThere was a wreck\u2026I\u2026I hit my head,\u201d he stammered, suddenly looking bewildered.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMiss Cromwell\u2026I heard her\u2026scream\u2026and then\u2026\u201d Joe paused again, noting the sad, despondent look in his father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 Joe suddenly felt sick to his stomach.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2026something terrible happened\u2026didn\u2019t it?\u00a0 Where\u2019s Nora\u2026is she alright?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben was forced to turn his head, unable to meet the haunting look in the emerald depths.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNora is\u2026dead, son\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWHAT!\u201d Joe shouted.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2026please, Pa\u2026ya gotta tell me\u2026what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe\u2026calm down, son\u2026please.\u00a0 There was a wreck, as you said\u2026Nora\u2026Miss Cromwell was thrown from the buggy\u2026she must have hit her head\u2026they said she died instantly\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes filled instantaneously with tears as he turned his head to the side.\u00a0 He swallowed hard.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe\u2026it was an accident, son\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe ignored the words, he knew now in his heart why his father looked so haggard, he was grieving over the loss of the woman he had fallen in love with and planned to marry.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The boy turned to look into his father\u2019s eyes, noting the tears that lingered there.\u00a0 He blamed him; his own father blamed him for the death of his future wife.\u00a0 Joe swallowed again, but the lump didn\u2019t go away.\u00a0 Tiny, minuet tears rolled silently from his eyes.\u00a0 He could not stand to see the hurt and sorrow in the eyes of the man whom he loved more than any other person alive.\u00a0 Silently, Joe wished it had been he and not Nora Cromwell who had died in the horrible accident.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGo away, Pa\u2026I\u2026want to be alone\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSon\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNO\u2026get out\u2026please,\u201d sobbed Joe, \u201cI don\u2019t want to talk about it\u2026I don\u2019t even want to think about it\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Reluctantly, Ben turned to go.\u00a0 The boy needed time to come to terms with what had happened, assumed Ben.\u00a0 Later\u2026they would talk and he\u2019d tell the boy how it was his fault and not his son\u2019s, that Nora had been killed and he, Joe, who had been injured almost to the point of costing him his life.\u00a0 Ben choked on the thoughts of what would have happened, had his young son been killed.\u00a0 It was bad enough that Nora\u2019s life had been snubbed out because of his own carelessness.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll talk later, son\u2026you try to rest now,\u201d Ben said as he closed the door behind him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n As it were, Joe refused to talk to his father about what had happened.\u00a0 Each time that Ben entered the room, Joe felt his own guilt wash over him in such a way that it put him in such a strain, just being in the same room with his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben, on the other hand, was blaming himself for the accident, having not remembered to inspect the buggy when Nora had insisted that something was not quite right with the rigging.\u00a0 Both father and son blamed themselves, unbeknown to the other.\u00a0 Neither father nor son recognized the shared guilt; thus each believed in their hearts that one held the other responsible for the accident and the death of the lady.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben entered the room without knocking.\u00a0 Joe was talking with Adam and Hoss but the moment he became aware of his father\u2019s presence, he clammed up, lowering his head in order that he not look at his father.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s heart was in his throat.\u00a0 His son was so sad, so miserable that just looking at the boy made him shudder with worry.\u00a0 Joe, on the other hand, could not bear to see the unspoken accusations in his father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 He felt, for the first time in his life, uncomfortable being near his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben forced himself to smile and ignore the tenseness in the room when he entered.\u00a0 Slowly he made his way to the bed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, today is the day, Joe\u2026Doc says you\u2019re well enough to go home!\u201d Ben announced.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s sullen expression changed and he smiled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cReally\u2026when?\u201d he asked Ben, finally looking up at his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJust as soon as you can get dressed,\u201d Ben laughed softly at his son\u2019s eagerness.\u00a0 \u201cWould you like me to help you\u2026it might be a bit hard, with just one good arm\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026I mean, no thank you,\u201d Joe stammered, again trying to avoid looking at his father.\u00a0 \u201cHoss can help me\u2026that is, if you don\u2019t mind, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss was a bit hesitant, glancing first at Ben and then Joe.\u00a0 He swallowed hard, for he was keenly aware of the unsettled tension in the room and the rift that had developed between his brother and his father since the accident.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSure\u2026I\u2019ll help ya,\u201d Hoss agreed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He glanced up at his father in time to see the smile fade from Ben\u2019s face.\u00a0 He felt guilty, for he knew that his father had hoped to be the one whom Joe would call upon for help.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll have a talk with the doctor and then help Adam get the rig ready,\u201d Ben said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cYou get ready, Joe\u2026and Adam and I\u2019ll be back soon, and then we\u2019ll all go home.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSure, Pa\u2026that\u2019ll be great\u2026I can\u2019t wait to get home\u2026\u201d muttered Joe as he managed to swing his bare legs over the side of the bed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Three days later, Joe was alone in the house.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss had gone to the north pasture to round up cattle while Ben and Hop Sing had taken the wagon into town for supplies.\u00a0Joe had made the excuse that he was tired, much too tired for the ride back into town.\u00a0 But the truth was, he was afraid that if he agreed to ride in with his father, Hop Sing might choose to stay home, thus leaving him alone with his father.\u00a0 In his heart, he longed to talk to his father, to apologize for his part in the accident and for Nora\u2019s death; yet, he couldn\u2019t bring himself to do it.\u00a0 He agonized over his guilt, he reasoned that had he not provoked the lady to such a degree of anger, she would not have had an excuse to lash out at him, thus frightening the horse and losing control, all of which led to the unfortunate mishap.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDamn!\u201d he cursed, remembering the hurt and pain he saw constantly in his father\u2019s eyes, Ben\u2019s expression and even in his tone of voice.\u00a0 For when Ben spoke directly to him, Joe sensed the strain and noted how his father could barely look him in the eye.\u00a0 Little did the boy understand the guilt that ate away at his father, or how it was Ben, himself that he blamed for the woman\u2019s untimely death and the near fatal injuries that might have cost him his own son\u2019s life.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe moved slowly to his father\u2019s red chair and sat down.\u00a0 His heavy heart caused him to sigh loudly as he leaned back his head and closed his weary eyes.\u00a0 Memories flashed in his head, twisted and distorted images of Nora and the buggy, of himself lying in his own blood, painfully pleading with his father to help him.\u00a0 A hazy likeness of his father\u2019s face loomed over his battered and bruised body.\u00a0 In the dark depths of Ben\u2019s brown eyes, Joe could read the disappointment and the condemnation that his father felt towards him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n On the ground he saw himself draw back, as if afraid that in his fury, Ben might strike out at him.\u00a0 Without realizing it, Joe pressed his eyelids tighter together.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026Pa\u2026please\u2026I didn\u2019t mean to do it,\u201d he murmured softly, surprised to hear his own voice crying out.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When he opened his eyes, tears streamed down the front of his face.\u00a0 Quickly, Joe swiped his hand across the front of his cheeks, wiping away the moisture.\u00a0 He stood slowly and walked to the door, his left arm still held in the sling about his neck.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The late afternoon sun had already disappeared behind the ridges, beginning its westward descent.\u00a0 Joe held his face against the breeze, letting the coolness thereof finish drying the remains of wetness on his face.\u00a0 Once again his eyes were closed tightly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa\u2026I\u2019m so sorry,\u201d he breathed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re sorry for what, Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The voice startled the boy.\u00a0 Instantly Joe\u2019s eyes popped opened.\u00a0 He was taken totally off guard to find his father standing before him.\u00a0 His face must have shown his surprise, for his father smiled softly down at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI asked you a question son, what is it that you have to be sorry for?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s words were garbled as he struggled to think of something to say.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHmm\u2026I\u2026I was\u2026just\u2026I don\u2019t know, Pa\u2026hmm\u2026thinking out loud I guess,\u201d Joe swallowed hard and turned to go back to the house, but Ben placed his hand gently on the slender shoulders, halting Joe\u2019s retreat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat kind of an answer is that?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2026don\u2019t know\u2026I didn\u2019t hear you ride up\u2026Pa\u2026I\u2019m tired, I\u2019d like to go lie down\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Again the boy turned his back to his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The lad stopped in his tracks.\u00a0 Ben took a step forward, closing the distance between himself and his son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou haven\u2019t done anything to be sorry for\u2026unless you think that because of the accident, you might be responsible for Nora\u2019s death\u2026which you were not\u2026I was\u2026and I am responsible for your getting hurt\u2026I\u2019m the one who should be apologizing to you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe spun around, stunned at his father\u2019s words.\u00a0 His expression was one of disbelief.\u00a0 What did his father mean when he said he was responsible for the woman\u2019s death and him getting injured?\u00a0 It didn\u2019t make any sense, thought Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou?\u00a0 That\u2019s crazy, Pa\u2026I was driving the buggy, I was the one arguing with Miss Cromwell\u2026it was my fault, I should have died\u2026not her\u2026you loved her more\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJOSEPH!\u00a0 That is preposterous, how could you ever think that I could love anyone more than you!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe, his eyes filled with tears, pulled free of the hand resting on his shoulder.\u00a0 He backed up.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut you did\u2026you were\u2026going to marry her\u2026you\u2026you\u2026you\u2019re grieving so\u2026I can see it in your eyes\u2026hear it\u2026in your voice\u2026Pa\u2026you loved her\u2026\u201d sobbed Joe who began to cry in earnest.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe\u2026son\u2026you don\u2019t understand\u2026\u201d exclaimed Ben as he moved forward.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026you don\u2019t understand\u2026I killed her\u2026Pa\u2026I killed the woman you loved\u2026I\u2019m responsible!\u201d sobbed Joe as he turned to run away.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben moved quickly and grabbed Joe\u2019s right arm, spinning him around.\u00a0 As he did so, Joe\u2019s body entwined itself against his father\u2019s.\u00a0 The boy sobbed as he began to cling to his father.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s long ample arms embraced his son.\u00a0 He was on the verge of tears as well.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, Joseph\u2026no, listen to me son\u2026listen\u2026I wasn\u2019t going to marry Nora\u2026do you hear me?\u201d Ben said in a near pleading tone.\u00a0 \u201cThat was what I was going to tell you that night, at supper, that I had decided it was not right for me\u2026or for you\u2026I was trying to tell you that I\u2019d had a change of heart\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s sobbing began to subside.\u00a0 It was apparent to his father that he now had his son\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, the buggy\u2026it had a defect in it\u2026Nora told me and I promised to tell Hoss and have him take a look at it\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d whispered Joe, pushing back a little so that he could see his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes\u2026Nora told me earlier in the evening that something wasn\u2019t right with the rigging.\u00a0 I plum forgot all about it\u2026what with deciding to tell her that I didn\u2019t think it was right for us to get married\u2026and then the messenger came about the fire\u2026I\u2026just forgot.\u00a0 It was my fault\u2026that the buggy wrecked\u2026and it was my lack of concern, my preoccupied thoughts on how to let her down gently that\u2026well\u2026I failed to see that the buggy was in proper working order\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut, I thought\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026you thought wrong, son.\u00a0 I did love her, in a way\u2026but not enough to make her my wife\u2026and certainly not enough to let her come between my sons\u2026especially you\u2026and I.\u00a0I couldn\u2019t do it, Joe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe moved away, turning his back to his father.\u00a0 \u201cI was mean to her\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHow were you mean to her, son?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned back around.\u00a0 Ben could see the glistening of fresh tears.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t like her\u2026I\u2026didn\u2019t want her to\u2026be my mother.\u00a0 So on the way to take her home\u2026I\u2026said things to make her\u2026mad.\u00a0 She started hitting me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHitting you?\u201d Ben repeated.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His face wore a puzzled expression.\u00a0 Joe nodded his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt wasn\u2019t the first time, she hit me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhen did she hit you, before that last night?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOne afternoon, out in the barn\u2026Adam knew\u2026he was suppose to tell you\u2026but I guess he forgot too,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A look of anger quickly presented itself and then disappeared.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened, Joe\u2026the night of the accident?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLike I said, she started hitting me\u2026it spooked the horse and the mare bolted.\u00a0 Nora\u2026ere\u2026Miss Cromwell wouldn\u2019t stop hitting me and she was screaming.\u00a0 I was trying to protect myself\u2026that\u2019s when I lost the reins\u2026I tried to get them back, but before I could, I got knocked to the floor.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s when I hit my head the first time.\u00a0 Something on the buggy snapped\u2026I caught a glimpse of the horse going one way and knew the buggy was going to crash.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe swallowed hard.\u00a0 When he looked up at his father, Ben noted the sad, forlorn look in the boy\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGo on.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI saw the lady flying through the air\u2026I heard her scream\u2026then I was tossed out of the buggy.\u00a0 The last thing I remembered was a sharp stabbing pain in my shoulder.\u00a0 After that, everything went black.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry, Pa\u2026I\u2019m so, so sorry\u2026honest,\u201d Joe said meekly as he lowered his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stepped forward, placing his fingers under Joe\u2019s quivering chin and tilting it upward.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry too, son, for having ever brought Nora into our lives.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry for all your unhappiness and for all the pain and suffering I\u2019ve brought to you.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry that Nora is dead\u2026I will have to learn to live with that\u2026I will always have to share in the guilt that led to such an unfortunate accident,\u201d Ben explained.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThen you don\u2019t hate me?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHate you, of course not, Joseph\u2026I don\u2019t hate you, nor do I blame you.\u00a0 I thought you blamed me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBlamed you, Pa\u2026for what?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026I suppose I thought\u2026because\u2026<\/p>\n Joe laughed softly.\u00a0 \u201cI guess we both were thinking wrong, heh, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI appears so.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhy\u2019d you change your mind?\u00a0 I mean, about marrying her?\u00a0 Was it because of me?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded his head.\u00a0 \u201cPartly\u2026but not for the reasons you think.\u00a0 I decided not to marry her\u2026because I had begun to see changes in her\u2026in the way she looked at you and how she spoke to you\u2026especially when all those mishaps were happening\u2026and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t do them on purpose\u2026honest, Pa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know that, Joe\u2026for heaven\u2019s sake\u2026they could have happened to anyone of us\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben laughed and gently led Joe over to the side porch where he offered the boy a chair.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI sensed your unhappiness, you were beginning to withdraw from me and I thought, if he\u2019s doing that now\u2026while Nora and I were just seeing one another\u2026what was going to happen to my son if I actually married her and brought her into our home\u2026as your mother.\u00a0 I said that night to all of you, that I had given it great thought and prayer.\u00a0 Somewhere along the way, I got the message that she just wasn\u2019t what I needed, or what my sons needed in the way of a mother\u2026especially you, Little Joe.\u00a0 It broke my heart to see you so miserable\u2026so I decided to tell her.\u00a0 Unfortunately, I never got the chance.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, perhaps it worked out for the better,\u201d said Adam who had appeared and joined them.\u00a0 \u201cI mean\u2026it was too bad that she was killed, but at least she died believing that you loved her.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you think that was a better way to go than to feel the rejection, the heartache and humiliation that she was sure to feel if you\u2019d told her?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked as if he were pondering the thought.\u00a0 He smiled gently at Joe and then turned to Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes, I suppose it would be for the best.\u00a0 I hadn\u2019t thought of it like that.\u00a0 She was an odd person, but I don\u2019t doubt her feelings for me\u2026I did begin to doubt her feelings for Joe though.\u00a0 Yes, Adam\u2026I\u2019m glad she didn\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben turned to all three sons, for by now, Hoss had joined them as well.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI want the three of you to know something\u2026I will never hold anything, or anybody above the welfare and love I hold for each of you.\u00a0 That does not mean that I will never marry again, but it does mean that the next time I fall in love\u2026and decide to marry\u2026it will be with the right lady.\u00a0 And she will be a woman that all three of my sons,\u201d he paused, smiling down at Joe, \u201cwill be loved by and will be proud to have as a mother.\u00a0 On that, I give my promise.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss was grinning from ear to ear and nodding his head up and down.\u00a0 Adam cast Little Joe a lopsided grin.\u00a0 Joe beamed up at his father.<\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2026if that\u2019s the case\u2026and we shared the guilt in what happened\u2026I guess when that perfect woman comes along\u2026we\u2019ll just all share in the joy too\u2026ya reckon?\u201d<\/p>\n All three Cartwright men laughed.\u00a0 Ben patted Joe on top his curly head.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Little Joe\u2026I reckon!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n THE END<\/p>\n June 2005<\/p>\n <\/p>\n