{"id":12309,"date":"2006-05-01T03:38:32","date_gmt":"2006-05-01T07:38:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12309"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:10:26","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:10:26","slug":"thoughts-hoss-own-by-debbieb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12309","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts, Hoss’ Own (by DebbieB)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong>\u00a0Hoss has thoughts of his own concerning his older brother’s broken heart.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/strong>\u00a0 G\u00a0 (1,180 words)<\/p>\n

Thoughts Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Thoughts from the Man in Black<\/a>
\nThoughts, This Time from Little Joe<\/a>
\nThoughts, Hoss’ Own<\/a>
\nThoughts… Joe’s Apology<\/a>
\nThoughts… Ben’s<\/a>
\nThoughts… Leilani Speaks Out<\/a><\/p>\n

Thoughts… Hoss’ Own<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dadburn Little Joe\u2026why\u2019d he have to go and laugh at Adam? Sometimes I think that boy was born without a brain. Couldn\u2019t he see how hurt our big brother was? No\u2026he just had to keep pushin\u2019 Adam\u2026he had to keep runnin\u2019 his mouth. I should have reached across the table and slugged him instead of kickin\u2019 him in the shin! And Pa\u2026golly bumfuzzles, I thought for a moment there, Joe was gonna get it good, right there on the spot! I can\u2019t remember seein\u2019 Pa\u2019s eyes so dark; why, they looked like black thunderclouds and behind them, I knew a storm was brewing! Little Brother better thank his lucky stars Pa didn\u2019t say anythin\u2019!<\/p>\n

And Adam\u2026the poor thing, hurtin\u2019 like he was. That dadburn female\u2026I oughta\u2026NO\u2026it ain\u2019t none of my gall dang business! I\u2019ll just have\u2019ta let Adam deal with her. It ain\u2019t likely though, seein\u2019 as how he\u2019s sufferin\u2019. He probably never wants to see that filly again. And I can\u2019t say that I blame him, she bein\u2019 like she is and all\u2026all fancy smancy and such, thinkin\u2019 she\u2019s better\u2019n the rest of us. I ain\u2019t never yet figured out what Adam seen in her anyway. He\u2019s better off without her, but I can\u2019t tell him that. Why, the poor boy loved that girl. It was as plain as the nose on ya face. He was smitten all right. He fell for her like a fish after a worm on a warm, sunny afternoon.<\/p>\n

Whew\u2026it\u2019s times like this that I\u2019m glad I ain\u2019t no good lookin\u2019 man. I ain\u2019t never had to worry about no female hookin\u2019 me like Little Joe and Adam are always gettin\u2019 tangled up in them love affairs. I mean, I ain\u2019t no prize for sure, but I\u2019ve had a few women whom I\u2019ve liked\u2026better\u2019n some. I just ain\u2019t made a fool outta myself like my older brother and my kid brother. Shoot, I\u2019d rather have a good horse under me than a flighty woman\u2026I MEAN\u2026ere\u2026I should have said, I\u2019d rather ride a good horse than\u2026NO\u2026oh, SHOOT\u2026dadburn it!! I\u2019m so confused, I ain\u2019t even thinkin\u2019 straight!<\/p>\n

I felt so sorry for Adam\u2026I tried not to let it show\u2026but then I ain\u2019t never been too good at hidin\u2019 my feelin\u2019s. I knew every time that Adam looked my way, that he knew just what I was thinkin\u2019. He knew I was pityin\u2019 him and I know he hates havin\u2019 anyone pity him, even his brother\u2026or worse, our Pa. Adam\u2019s always been a man to keep his feelin\u2019s to himself. He\u2019s hard to understand at times. Most folks here abouts think he\u2019s got a dark side\u2026but he don\u2019t. I know him better\u2019n most men\u2026I know that behind that mask he wears daily that there\u2019s a tender side to my older brother. And it\u2019s hard for him to let anyone get that close to him, but apparently this Leilani woman managed to. Look at what it\u2019s cost him\u2026his pride, his humility\u2026his heart. They\u2019s all broken. I ain\u2019t so sure that they\u2019ll mend either. I mean, after all, when you give your heart to someone, you\u2019ve given them the best part of yourself\u2026and that\u2019s what Adam\u2019s gone and done. He gave that lady\u2026and I use the word lightly\u2026everything he had to offer\u2026and she tossed it out the window like it weren\u2019t nuthin\u2019 but garbage!<\/p>\n

My older brother has always been an inspiration to me. I mean, besides Pa, if ever I wanted to be like someone, it would have to be Adam. He\u2019s the best. Oh, Little Joe and I are close, probably closer in a way than Adam and I and certainly more so than Adam and Little Joe\u2026but Adam\u2026Well, he\u2019s just different. But in a good sorta way. He\u2019s a gentleman all the way, and that blasted woman cut him down like he weren\u2019t more\u2019n one of Pa\u2019s tall Ponderosa pines. All I can say for her is she had better be glad she\u2019s a female instead of a man, cause if she were a man, I\u2019d ring her pretty little neck!<\/p>\n

I just happened to have in the kitchen when Adam came home that afternoon. Pa was at his desk and I heard the door slam. I went into the living room cause I was gonna ask Adam if\u2019n he wanted to go fishin\u2019 with me and Joe the next day, but soon as I entered the room, I stopped. Adam had already started ranting and raving to Pa about this and that\u2026things that didn\u2019t really matter. Pa finally got big brother calmed down enough to find out that Miss Leilani wouldn\u2019t be comin\u2019 to supper that night\u2026or any other night.<\/p>\n

I felt my brother\u2019s pain in that instance. He dropped into a chair and for a moment, I thought the poor boy was goin\u2019 to burst into tears. I just knew that if he did, I\u2019d lose it as well so I had get out of there. I went straight to the barn so I could be alone, but Joe was there workin\u2019 and I know when he asked me what was wrong, I snapped at him. I hurt his feelin\u2019s and I didn\u2019t mean to. But I couldn\u2019t get the look on Adam\u2019s face, off my mind. He was like a dyin\u2019 man and I felt so helpless cause I couldn\u2019t help him. Shoot I wouldn\u2019t have known how to help him if I could have. One thing I knew, I couldn\u2019t bear to see the pain that showed in Adam\u2019s face and in his expression. I had to get out of the house\u2026so I did.<\/p>\n

Then, the next mornin\u2019 when Adam came down stairs, I could see he\u2019d suffered a bad night. His eyes were drawn, his hair was mussed, even his shirt tale was hangin\u2019 out his pants\u2026so unlike my normally neat, well-kept older brother. It was obvious that Adam hadn\u2019t slept any at all. When he got to the table and sat down, he never bothered to look at any of us, let alone speak to us. He just started eatin\u2019\u2026and I could tell that he didn\u2019t even realize what he was eatin\u2019; his actions were just by habit.<\/p>\n

Oh Lordy\u2026then Joe opened his mouth\u2026well, the rest is history. Later that night, Pa went upstairs and had a little talk with Adam. I ain\u2019t got no ideay what Pa said to Adam, but by supper\u2026Adam was dang near himself. It sure was good to have\u2019em back. I can\u2019t stand to see any member of my family hurtin\u2019\u2026it tears me up inside. So in that case it was hard to hide my pity. But, Adam was better and since then, he\u2019s pretty much put the incident behind him. He won\u2019t talk about her\u2026not yet\u2026guess it\u2019s too soon and the pain too raw, but in time he will, I just know it. And when he\u2019s ready, I\u2019ll be there for him to lean on. See, I got big shoulders and I can pretty much support any man\u2026especially if that man happens to be my brother.<\/p>\n

Hoss Cartwright<\/p>\n

The story continues in:<\/p>\n

Next Story in the Thoughts Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Thoughts… Joe’s Apology<\/a>
\nThoughts… Ben’s<\/a>
\nThoughts… Leilani Speaks Out<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0Hoss has thoughts of his own concerning his older brother’s broken heart.<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (1,180 words)<\/p>\n

Thoughts Series, links to all the stories within the series included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9052,"featured_media":2192,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23],"tags":[17],"class_list":["post-12309","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","tag-hoss","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":948,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/hoss1.jpeg?fit=300%2C168&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12308,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12308","url_meta":{"origin":12309,"position":0},"title":"Thoughts, This time From Little Joe (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"ummary:\u00a0Joe's thoughts on Adam's heartbreak. Rated:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (1,315 words) Thoughts Series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12311,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12311","url_meta":{"origin":12309,"position":1},"title":"Thoughts… Ben’s (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Relieved that Leilani had gone, Ben gives his impression of the young woman strictly as a father's point of view. Rated:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (1,525 words) Thoughts Series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Fathers-Day.jpg?fit=300%2C300&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12305,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12305","url_meta":{"origin":12309,"position":2},"title":"Thoughts from the Man in Black (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Adam's reveals his innermost feelings after suffering a broken heart Rated:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (2,000 words) Thoughts Series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/6.jpg?fit=414%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12310,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12310","url_meta":{"origin":12309,"position":3},"title":"Thoughts… Joe’s Apology (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Joe finally makes his apology to his older brother. Rated:\u00a0 G (1,400 words) Thoughts Series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Adam \/ Joe"","block_context":{"text":"Adam \/ Joe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1091"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/A-J.jpg?fit=400%2C320&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12229,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12229","url_meta":{"origin":12309,"position":4},"title":"The Awakening (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"October 15, 2001","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 When Hoss is left on his own to run the ranch, he begins to doubt his ability in himself and in everything that his father had tried to teach him. 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