{"id":12311,"date":"2006-05-01T05:45:29","date_gmt":"2006-05-01T09:45:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12311"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:10:26","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:10:26","slug":"thoughts-bens-by-debbieb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12311","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts… Ben’s (by DebbieB)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong>\u00a0Relieved that Leilani had gone, Ben gives his impression of the young woman strictly as a father’s point of view.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/strong>\u00a0 G\u00a0 (1,525 words)<\/p>\n

Thoughts Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Thoughts from the Man in Black<\/a>
\nThoughts, This Time from Little Joe<\/a>
\nThoughts, Hoss’ Own<\/a>
\nThoughts… Joe’s Apology<\/a>
\nThoughts… Ben’s<\/a>
\nThoughts… Leilani Speaks Out<\/a><\/p>\n

Thoughts… Ben’s<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s been nearly a month now since my oldest son, Adam and his lady friend, Leilani, went their separate ways. I won\u2019t lie and say that I\u2019m broken up inside because of their decision, because I\u2019m not. Again, I\u2019m not lying when I say that right from the very beginning, I had my doubts about that young woman. Not that I think my sons are above anyone else\u2019s sons, but I have always had a deep yearning for them to have the best. Not of worldly things\u2026 \u2018things\u2019 don\u2019t make people happy. True happiness comes from within, yet, to be truly happy, men must have a sense of well-being that stems from those around us. It\u2019s hard to understand, I know and perhaps I\u2019m not making myself completely clear as to what I\u2019m trying to say. Happiness is self made\u2026people around us add to or take away from that happiness. We need people in our lives. People whom we love\u2026and who love us in return. Unfortunately though, there are those that come into our lives that are set on destroying us from within and from outside. Like Adam and Leilani. She broke his heart. He loved her in spite of the fact that he gave of himself from the deepest core of his being. She didn\u2019t care about him\u2026only about what he could do for her\u2026she destroyed my son from within\u2026but had he married her, she would have also destroyed him from outside. He would have given her the world\u2026because that is how deeply my eldest son gives of himself, once he\u2019s found that special someone that he deems worthy of giving of himself to.<\/p>\n

Had Leilani remained in the picture of Adam\u2019s life, in his mist, her presence would have cost him, his home\u2026his family\u2026his pride and dignity\u2026and maybe even his own life. I\u2019m sorry to berate the young woman so badly, but I\u2019ve lived a very long time and I\u2019ve experienced just about every type of woman out there in the world. I know Leilani had a shaded past\u2026and I won\u2019t pretend that it didn\u2019t affect my trust in her, it certainly did, but only because my son was involved. I don\u2019t usually listen to idle talk, but this time the talk came from some of my dearest, closest\u2026and even lifelong friends, who knew the facts. And I checked them out\u2026every last thing that all these people were telling me, was true.<\/p>\n

I could have chosen to present the facts to my son, but I chose not to. Adam is not a youngster, like Little Joe\u2026and he is not usually gullible like Hoss. I have complete trust and faith in Adam. I was sure, beyond a doubt that he would in time, see through her mock gentleness, her lady-like mannerisms and her soft-spoken voice. Love is blind, they often say. A wolf in sheep\u2019s clothing\u2026a\u2026she-devil\u2026hell bent on getting what she wanted, when she wanted and how and how much she wanted. I\u2019ve been in love many times at different stages of my own life, but never\u2026never\u2026have I allowed myself to be so blinded\u2026as totally blind-sighted\u2026as Adam allowed himself to be in this instance. It was a shame\u2026it broke my heart to see him in such a state of despair, so sad\u2026so unhappy. Yet I kept my mouth shut. I had to. Do you realize what damage I could have done to our relationship had I said to my son, \u2018I told you so\u2019? No\u2026I\u2019d never do that to him, or to Hoss or Little Joe not when they\u2019ve given the most valued part of themselves to another human being. It would have destroyed any pride, any trust that my son had ever held in his heart for his father. It would have been more devastating to him than what \u2018she\u2019 had done to him. I couldn\u2019t, nor would I, do that to my beloved son.<\/p>\n

It is extremely hard for a father to stand back and watch how another person causes the walls of humility, in one of their own, to be crushed and then crumble and not speak out in defense of our own loved one. When Adam was a boy, I never stood back and watched as someone else tried to destroy my son\u2026in any fashion. But then as Adam grew older and struggled with himself into manhood, I realized that there were times that I\u2019d have to back off and allow my son to make the calls that would determine his lot in life. I had to recede into the background so that my son could emerge from boyhood into manhood and be proud of who he was and of what kind of man he had become. Adam has done that. He\u2019s a fine man, a good man\u2026an honest man and I as his father could not be prouder of those facts than what I am right now.<\/p>\n

Time heals all wounds. I did tell my son that, just the other night. He looked at me with sadness lingering in his eyes as he agreed with me. He said though, \u2018sometimes, Pa\u2026it takes a very long time\u2026and I\u2019ve an idea that this is gonna take me a very long time to get over\u2026her\u2019. I understood what he meant. God knows I\u2019ve suffered heartaches of my own. And I know that at times like this\u2026when a man gives his heart away, that the time to heal seems like a lifetime. But I assured Adam that it would happen and that it was even possible that one day he\u2019d look up and some other young woman would appear seemingly out of nowhere and he\u2019d realize that the hurt, the pain\u2026the loneliness would suddenly be gone and he\u2019d wonder where and when had it disappeared. Life is for the living\u2026remember that, I muttered to him. Those that come into our lives and those that go out of our lives do so for a deeper purpose than perhaps we were meant to understand. We\u2019re only human\u2026only men I said softly.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s smile began slowly and then he turned and looked at me. I saw, for the first time in weeks, a gleam\u2026a glitter of hope spring into his eyes. He laughed softly in his gentle manner and nodded his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Pa,\u201d he uttered, \u201cbut sometimes\u2026I wish\u2026I wish I were still a little boy\u2026is that fair? I mean is it fair of me, as a man to want to miss this kind of hurt\u2026or to prolong being hurt as such?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was an honest question. I knew he expected an answer\u2026so I tried my best.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon\u2026Adam\u2026a man cannot live his life\u2026his entire life\u2026without being hurt. Life isn\u2019t always a bed of roses\u2026it cannot always be the way we want it to be. If it were\u2026if we never experienced a little hurt or unhappiness along the way\u2026however would be capable of true appreciation of what goodness the Lord gives to us. It is our responsibility to accept the bad along with good in life and learn from the lessons that such experiences offer to us. It is what builds character, it is what determines how we behave and how we respond to others\u2026how we respond to God. Is it fair to want to be excluded from such inner pain? Would you really want to be, Adam? Haven\u2019t you learned anything from all of this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

I saw the boy\u2019s lips straighten and tighten.<\/p>\n

\u201cI learned that when a person loves another\u2026the other may not always return that love. I learned that love is highly valued by some and not so valued by others. Therefore, the next time\u2026I will tread more slowly before I commit my heart to another\u2026because I learned that honestly and respect is a must\u2026but must not be misused.\u201d He paused and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before continuing.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd\u2026I learned that no matter how badly I mess up, I have a father and two brothers who will always stand with me and who will never give up on me\u2026I\u2019ve learned\u2026how much my family respects me and how much I respect my family\u2026and depend on all of you. I\u2019ve learned, Pa\u2026that someday\u2026I want exactly what you\u2019ve got\u2026a family like ours\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

I could barely speak, the lump in my throat threatened to choke off my words. But none was needed, I slipped my arm about Adam\u2019s broad shoulders and together, we walked into the house.<\/p>\n

Little Joe and Hoss stood in silence as we entered, looking a bit worried. Obviously they had been talking amongst themselves. Adam laughed, brushing off the awkward moment as he rubbed his hands together and practically shouted at them\u2026\u2026..<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know about the two of you\u2026but I\u2019m starving\u2026let\u2019s eat!\u201d<\/p>\n

I watched the fearful expressions slowly dissipate and be replaced with broad grins. Hoss laughed out loud, Little Joe giggled in his boyish manner as I glanced upward and whispered a quick prayer to God for the goodness of His love\u2026and for the pain that had once again brought my family closer\u2026for together, through the grace of the Almighty, we, Adam, Hoss, Little Joe and myself had weathered yet another storm.<\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright<\/p>\n

Next Story in the Thoughts Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Thoughts… Leilani Speaks Out<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0Relieved that Leilani had gone, Ben gives his impression of the young woman strictly as a father’s point of view.<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (1,525 words)<\/p>\n

Thoughts Series, links to all the stories within the series included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9052,"featured_media":13072,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23],"tags":[15],"class_list":["post-12311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","tag-ben","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1129,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Fathers-Day.jpg?fit=300%2C300&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12308,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12308","url_meta":{"origin":12311,"position":0},"title":"Thoughts, This time From Little Joe (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"ummary:\u00a0Joe's thoughts on Adam's heartbreak. Rated:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (1,315 words) Thoughts Series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12305,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12305","url_meta":{"origin":12311,"position":1},"title":"Thoughts from the Man in Black (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Adam's reveals his innermost feelings after suffering a broken heart Rated:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (2,000 words) Thoughts Series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/6.jpg?fit=414%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12309,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12309","url_meta":{"origin":12311,"position":2},"title":"Thoughts, Hoss’ Own (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Hoss has thoughts of his own concerning his older brother's broken heart. Rated:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (1,180 words) Thoughts Series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12274,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12274","url_meta":{"origin":12311,"position":3},"title":"Thoughts, Leilani Speaks Out (by Debbie B)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Was she as bad as we first thought? Or was there goodness in her heart that only Adam was aware of? \u00a0 Rated G \u00a0WC 1450 Thoughts Series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/ADAM-FACE.jpg?fit=500%2C375&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12310,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12310","url_meta":{"origin":12311,"position":4},"title":"Thoughts… Joe’s Apology (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Joe finally makes his apology to his older brother. 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