{"id":12335,"date":"2004-07-01T18:25:07","date_gmt":"2004-07-01T22:25:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12335"},"modified":"2026-02-11T10:40:37","modified_gmt":"2026-02-11T15:40:37","slug":"skeletons-unleashed-by-debbieb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12335","title":{"rendered":"Skeletons Unleashed (by DebbieB)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/strong> \u00a0 Plagued with a haunting memory, Joe refuses to open his heart and face reality.\u00a0 Ben searches desperately for a way to help his son before life becomes so unbearable for the boy, that Joe takes drastic measures.<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 <\/strong>PG13 for death of young person.\u00a0 (9,025 words)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Skeletons Unleashed<\/strong><\/p>\n

It had been a hard and trying month for the Cartwrights, especially for the youngest member of the family. Having found his closest friend, Curt Taylor, dead, had sent Little Joe\u2019s universal plummeting downward until his entire world had nearly collapsed around them all.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The death, self-inflicted, had all but been Joe\u2019s undoing. Even now, weeks later, he was sullen and withdrawn, never speaking unless spoken to or out of shear necessity. He\u2019d sit for hours staring at nothing, saying nothing, and doing nothing. His father\u2019s concern had mounted and Ben felt as if a part of his youngest son might be lost to him forever. The anxious father had tried everything to help his son, had insisted that Joe face reality and talk about what had happened, what he had seen, yet Joe refused, sinking deeper and deeper into his despair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His brothers, Adam and Hoss, had tried to help their sibling. Their efforts were cut short, for each time one approached their brother, Joe would spit harsh, unkind words at them, until at last they had stopped putting forth an effort and like their father, watched as each day passed and a new day of self-destruction dawned for their loved one.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was heartbreaking to watch, the once energetic, rambunctious boy reduced to a shell of his former self. It was obvious to all concerned that Joe\u2019s life bordered on the edge and Ben feared that if something wasn\u2019t done for his son soon, Joe might get it in his head to end his own life, as his friend had done. The terrifying thought had sent shivers of fear racing through his veins and he\u2019d become so insistent that Joe be watched constantly, that it added more strain on the already overtaxed family.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou need to eat, son,\u201d Ben said softly from his seat at the table where the family had gathered for breakfast.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He\u2019d been watching his youngest son as Joe sat quietly, toying with the food in his plate. The boy had yet offered a greeting and had refused to join into the morning conversation. When he raised his head to look toward his father, Ben could see the haunted, near desperate look in the dulled hue of the hazel eyes that seemed to look at him, but not fully see him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t hungry,\u201d Joe offered, returning to watch the affect his fork had when he poked at his eggs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For several moments, things were silent around the table. Each knew within their hearts the cause of Joe\u2019s lack of hunger. These days the boy rarely ate anything, barely enough to keep himself going. He had lost weight; much to their distress, for Joe wasn\u2019t a big kid to say the least. At nearly sixteen, he had always been small for his size, in comparison to his classmates at school and especially to his family. And the fact that he ate little to nothing at all, had only accentuated his dimensions that much more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m riding over to Hubert Hastings place this morning Joe, to look over those new mustangs he rounded up the first of the week. He sent word that he had a couple nice looking pintos in the bunch, care to ride over and have a look with me?\u201d Adam suggested, glancing toward his father and seeing the hopeful expression on Ben\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For a brief second, something sparked the flame in the deep-set eyes, and Adam saw the flicker, but it was short-lived.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head. \u201cNaw\u2026not today\u2026I got things to do,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Only for a fraction of a second, did Joe look disappointed about his decision. It was a known fact to all of them that for over a year, he had been yearning for a pinto horse. His present mount, Paint, was a pinto and much to his liking, but Joe had been feeling that he had outgrown the old horse and had declared to his father that he needed a mount with spunk\u2026something that Paint had lost over his years.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben, thinking back on his son\u2019s words, wished that Joe could have some of the same spunk that the boy wished for his horse. Trying not to look in the boy\u2019s direction, afraid that the disappointment might show and that Joe might see, Ben turned his attention to his own eggs. A plan had suddenly taken root within his mind and Ben wanted time now to let the seed grow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat things, Shortshanks?\u201d Hoss asked. \u201cI thought ya was anxious to find a new pinto\u2026and Mr. Hastings always has the best horses around, \u2018cept for ours,\u201d he grinned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was nothing about his brother\u2019s statement that Joe could find amusing, and he had no clue as to why Hoss was snickering. The sound seemed to only irritate him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t need a dang horse,\u201d Joe said, shoving back his chair and standing to his feet. \u201cFor Pete\u2019s sake, Hoss\u2026what are you laughing at, there isn\u2019t anything funny going on!\u201d he snapped in a harsh voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The laughing stopped just as quickly as it had begun and three sets of eyes looked into the angry face of the boy. Hoss\u2019 own expression showed his dismay and hurt, for it cut him to the core to know that his younger brother was suffering inside and he, Hoss, bigger than life, could do nothing to help the one he loved most, besides his pa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, there\u2019s no need to be rude, Hoss was just\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know what Hoss was doing\u2026I\u2019ve got chores to do, excuse me\u2026please,\u201d Joe blurted out as he hurried from the table and out the front door, slamming it loudly as he fled the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s lips pulled tightly closed and he set his coffee cup down with a bang.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t mean nuthin\u2019\u2026honest Pa, I was just tryin\u2019 to\u2026\u201d babbled Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know son. Don\u2019t fret yourself any about this. It\u2019s him, son, not you\u2026not us,\u201d Ben tried to soothe his middle son\u2019s hurt feelings.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are we going to do, Pa?\u201d Adam inquired. \u201cHe\u2019s on the road to destroying himself and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s dark eyes filled with worry. \u201cI know, son\u2026I know\u2026but I\u2019m at a loss as to how to help him\u2026if only\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once alone in the darkened barn, Joe paused and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He glanced around the interior, his body shaking. He felt chilled to the bone. The barn was musty and with the thin slivers of light that strained through the cracks, the barn seemed silent and eerie. It stirred a haunting memory, deep in his subconscious where he had left it and Joe tried to will the disturbance away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe rubbed his hands up and down his arms astutely aware that he was alone in the one place he had come to fear the most. He gulped, fighting his rising fear and the shrouded shadows that seemed to pierce his memory, jarring into life the lone figure of the boy, his friend, dangling lifelessly from the rafters over his head, a rope about his neck, squeezing the life from his very soul. The bulging eyes his mind conjured up, flashed before his own misting ones.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A small rodent scurried across the floor in front of the trembling boy, causing Joe to jump back and scream out in fear. Joe turned to flee, but stopped at the door, suddenly taking control of himself. He stood, leaning weakly against the closed door, breathing heavily, sucking in large gulps of fresh air as he tried to assure himself that he had nothing to fear, but fear itself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just a mouse,\u201d he told himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Slowly, Joe moved back into the interior and picked up the rake. It was his turn to muck out the barn, a job that he hated, but today, he almost welcomed the chore. Mucking would take his mind off his worries, he told himself. The unwelcome chore would be his excuse to stay home. He cared nothing these days, of venturing too far. The boy would never admit it to anyone other than himself, but the thoughts of getting too far from home, and the security he had with his father, terrified him. He was afraid of what he might encounter in the way of unpleasantness\u2026leastwise, that\u2019s the excuse he used to convince himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe was deep in thought, busy with his work and totally unaware that Adam had entered the barn. His back was to the door, and Adam, not realizing that his younger brother was anywhere around, slipped unnoticed into the barn and headed for the tack room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So engrossed in what he was doing, Joe reacted violently when Adam paused, seeing his brother working and clamped his hand down on Joe\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAW!!\u201d screamed Joe as he swung around, rake in hand and without thought, caught Adam with a hard, deliberate blow to his side.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAUGH!\u201d groaned Adam, dropping to his knees, his arms gripping his side as his body sank to the ground.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cADAM!\u201d shouted Joe, tossing the tool aside and bending down to help his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe reached out to offer his help, but Adam, his expression filled with pain and his eyes dark with anger, brushed Joe\u2019s hands away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou little fool,\u201d moaned Adam as he attempted to sit up. \u201cWhat in blazes were trying to do, kill me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The minute the words were out of his mouth, Adam wished he could bite off his tongue. The expression on Little Joe\u2019s face turned to one of horror and he backed away from the older brother and slowly rose to his feet, staring at Adam in disbelief.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026I\u2019m sorry, buddy\u2026that was a poor choice of words,\u201d Adam said, his voice faltering slightly as he looked into the tear filled eyes of the retreating boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam managed to get to his feet, his hand still gripping his side. Cautiously, he took a step forward.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t mean to scare you, Joe\u2026I guess I deserved that wallop\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stopped speaking, the tear filled eyes, were more than he could bear. Gently he reached out his hand, but Joe surprised Adam by turning and running from the barn, nearly colliding with Hoss in his haste to distance himself from the spiteful words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss was pushed back against the wall as Joe fled from the barn but quickly recovered and peeked in to see what it was that Joe was running from. Scratching his head when he saw Adam, Hoss entered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat in the world\u2019s gotten into that kid?\u201d Hoss stated, glancing over his shoulder toward the door. \u201cHe plum near knocked me on my caboose\u2026hey, ya alright?\u201d he asked, suddenly aware that Adam was holding his side and looking a little pallid.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded his head as he found an old crate and sat down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be alright in a minute, just let me catch my breath. Dang fool kid nearly knocked the wind out of me,\u201d Adam said, rubbing his side.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He looked up at Hoss, whose unasked question remained on his face. When Adam took longer than what Hoss thought necessary, he plunged forward, his curiosity getting the better of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, ya gonna tell me what spook\u2019em?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam let the wind expire from his lungs and gave Hoss a sideways glance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I did, and then I said the wrong thing. I tried to apologize but he took off before I had the chance,\u201d explained Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d Hoss wanted to know.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stood and stretched from one side and then the other, trying to work the kinks out of his body.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure Hoss. I came here and Joe was mucking out the stable. I swear, I thought the kid heard me come in, but guess not. When I put my hand on his shoulder, he jumped a foot high, swung around and clobbered me with the rake handle. The force doubled me over, and when Joe tried to help me, I guess I lost my temper and blurted something about him trying to kill me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam scrunched up his face. \u201cGuess it was the wrong thing to say.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAw\u2026shucks, Adam, ya didn\u2019t mean nuthin\u2019 by it,\u201d Hoss said, trying to reassure his brother. \u201cDid ya?\u201d he added, his brows drawn down and a look of remorse on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam picked up the rake that Joe had dropped and gave Hoss a stern look.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not\u2026but he thinks I did.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss walked to the doorway and looked out. Joe was nowhere to be seen. He puckered up his face and looked at Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m worried about him, Adam. I\u2019m scared the boy\u2019s gonna\u2026gonna go off\u2019en the deep end,\u201d he said in a low tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam noted the bothersome tone in his brother\u2019s voice and moved to stand in front of the big man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo am I, Hoss\u2026and Pa\u2019s worried about the same thing. But how do we help him? He won\u2019t talk about what he saw or what happened, or even what he\u2019s feeling. It\u2019s eating him up inside, like a disease.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe gotta try somethin\u2019\u2026but what?\u201d Hoss said, thinking hard. \u201cThere\u2019s gotta be a way to help the boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but how?\u201d muttered Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe had run as far as he could before his breath began giving out and he started huffing and puffing. He sank to the ground, buried his face in his hands and began to weep. His sobs pulled deep into his lungs, sucking what air remained into his throat as he cried out his despair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWHY!\u201d he beseeched loudly. \u201cOH GOD\u2026PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe wiped his shirtsleeve across his nose and raised his head upward, looking into the bright cloudless sky. He took a deep breath, letting it out more slowly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy did you have to do it?\u201d he said into the breeze. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t make any sense,\u201d he babbled. \u201cIt\u2019s not fair\u2026leaving everyone wondering.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boy could not say the words that seemed to stick in his throat. He could not voice what he felt, nor could he wipe the memory of what he had seen from his mind. More than anything else, he longed for his father\u2019s arms about him, whispering words of comfort into his ears, promising him that everything would be the same as it once was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But Joe knew that his life had changed forever and that things would never again be what they had once been. He had, whether by fear or by choice, possibly both, kept his inner most fears buried deeply within himself and had refused to talk to his father, or anyone about what he had experienced or how even now, weeks after the death of his friend, the suicide had left him with a deep seeded emotional need to which he could find no comfort.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s nose continued to drip and he dragged his arm across his face a second time. He lowered his head, shaking his head gently from side to side, sniffling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy did I have to be the one to find you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His head leaned back, far back, against his shoulders and Joe pinched his eyes closed tightly, unleashing his tears as they rolled gently down from the corners of his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t get the image of your face out of my head!\u201d he screamed, balling up his hands into tight fists and covering his eyes. \u201cPlease God\u2026oh please, make it go away!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For several minutes Joe sat on his knees, crying, wishing that God would hear his pleading and fulfill his request. His friend\u2019s face haunted every waking hour and deprived him of the sleep he needed so badly. When he could manage a rare moment of sleep, his dreams and distorted images plagued his thoughts and most near every night he\u2019d waken the family with his screams. After many such occurrences, his father had been advised, by the doctor, to administer a sleeping power before bedtime, so that the boy could get some much needed rest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The ordeal was weighing heavily on the youth, draining him of his strength, snatching from him, the joy of living and the thrill of just being alive. His infectious laughter was no longer heard within the walls of his home, the soft sounds of his weeping filled the hallways instead, when at night, before the medication took affect, Joe could no longer contain himself and his fury would be allowed to run riot.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe jerked his body around, unaware that Hoss had ridden into the clearing where he was still crouched on the ground. Quickly, before his brother could see his tears, Joe wiped dry his face and stood to his feet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t mean to disturb ya,\u201d Hoss said, almost shyly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He had seen the tears, but knew enough not to let on to Little Joe that he had. He smiled, hoping that his worry was well masked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about lunchtime\u2026I thought maybe\u2026ya\u2019d like a ride back to the house?\u201d he stammered slightly, not sure what his brother\u2019s reaction to his intrusion might be.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t hungry,\u201d Joe said, in a low voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYa didn\u2019t eat ya breakfast, Joe. Ya gotta be a little hungry\u2026and Hop Sing\u2019s done gone and fixed some fried chicken and he\u2019 even made an apple pie. He sure is gonna have his feelin\u2019s hurt, if\u2019n ya don\u2019t eat somethin\u2019,\u201d Hoss declared.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAn apple pie, and fried chicken?\u201d It was Joe\u2019s favorite.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYep\u2026don\u2019t ya reckon ya could at least eat a chicken leg, just to please\u2019em?\u201d Hoss asked in a near begging tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe glanced up into the chubby face and could instantly see the worry etched into his middle brother\u2019s brow. It was just like Hoss to worry\u2026it was just like his entire family to worry about him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s Adam?\u201d Joe asked, changing the subject.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSore, but he\u2019s alright, Joe\u2026he knows ya didn\u2019t mean to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes I did\u2026he crept up on me and I meant to do what I did\u2026I just didn\u2019t know it was Adam doing the sneaking\u2026that\u2019s all,\u201d Joe explained. \u201cHe should have called out\u2026or something,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss smiled slightly and stepped closer to the boy. He rested his large, beefy hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think he will next time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs he mad at me? I really didn\u2019t mean to hurt him\u2026its just that he\u2026took me by surprise, that\u2019s all,\u201d Joe said, looking up at Hoss with a look of remorse on his young face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNaw\u2026he ain\u2019t mad, Joe, honest. And I bet when we get home, he\u2019ll be atellin\u2019 ya that he\u2019s sorry for scarin\u2019 ya\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe didn\u2019t SCARE me\u2026I was just\u2026just.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe ceased talking; a lump had developed in his throat and strangled his words. He spun around, moving toward Hoss\u2019 mount. He was lying, what was the sense of trying to explain, Hoss knew, Adam knew\u2026they all knew, he was scare of everything these days and he felt like a coward, and he had no clue as to what to do about it. Joe felt as if he were losing his mind, his life was spinning out of control and he wasn\u2019t sure just how much more he could bear. Suddenly, life didn\u2019t seem worth living.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss watched as Joe stood in silence, his back toward him. Slowly he approached the boy whom he loved dearly and without touching the lad expressed his own feelings.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026I cain\u2019t say I know how ya feelin\u2019\u2026cause in truth I don\u2019t. I ain\u2019t ever had to go through what ya been through.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The big man swallowed and continued.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI just want ya to know\u2026that if\u2019n ya ever wanna talk about it\u2026I\u2019m here for ya,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned his head and looked into Hoss\u2019 face, seeing the sincerity in his brother\u2019s misty blue eyes. He was overcome with emotion and for a brief moment thought about spilling his guts to this gentle giant that towered over him. But something deep down inside of him, fighting against the willingness and the unwillingness forbid him from sharing his feeling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was all the boy could muster.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss swallowed his disappointment that Joe would not trust him enough to confide in him and forced himself to smile down at the boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go home, Joe\u2026I don\u2019t know about you, but I\u2019m hungry,\u201d grinned Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From the side porch where he sat, Ben glanced up, a look of relief on his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHere they come now,\u201d he said to Adam as he stood to greet his two youngest sons.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam pushed back his chair and stood next to his father. He watched Joe as the boy dismounted and walked slowly toward them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled. \u201cWell, I\u2019m glad the two of you made it back. Hop Sing was getting worried that his supper would be ruined.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa,\u201d Joe said, his head low, his eyes adverted so that he would not have to look at Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo problem. Hoss, why don\u2019t we go inside and tell Hop Sing that we\u2019re about ready to eat?\u201d Ben suggested.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He knew that Adam wanted a minute alone with his brother and the suggestion was a way in which he and Hoss could give the two, time alone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam waited until his father and brother were out of earshot and then glanced at Joe. Joe was digging in the dirt with the toe of his boot and still refused to look up. Adam cleared his throat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s head snapped up, his eyes focused directly on his brother\u2019s face. \u201cI\u2019d better go get washed up,\u201d he stammered as he started toward the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026wait a minute, please,\u201d Adam called as he reached out and put his hand on Joe\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe stopped and looked down at the fingers that held his arm, and then up into his brother\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry little buddy, about what I said this morning. I didn\u2019t mean anything by it, honest,\u201d Adam apologized.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam felt the tension ease somewhat beneath his fingers. Sensing that Joe would not bulk and run, he released the boy\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry too, Adam. I didn\u2019t mean to hit you\u2026I was only\u2026only\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s alright kid, I\u2019ll know to make myself known the next time,\u201d Adam smiled. \u201cIt won\u2019t happen again, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks\u2026and next time\u2026I\u2019ll try not to take a swing at you,\u201d Joe said, forcing a slight smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam saw the faint semblance of the smile and he returned the gesture.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou should do that more often,\u201d he said with a touch of humor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s expression turned to one of bewilderment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, hit you?\u201d he stated.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam ruffled the dark curls and laughed. \u201cNo, silly, smile. It looks good on you, and it is a nice change.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d Joe said absentmindedly as the smile faded. \u201cI don\u2019t have much to smile about anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd why is that?\u201d Adam questioned, hoping that perhaps Joe might open up to him just a little.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe moved toward the house, away from the dark, probing eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know why as well as I do. Come on, I\u2019m hungry,\u201d he said, avoiding the subject.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before Adam could respond, Joe was gone and he had no other recourse but to follow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The night was hot and from the window, where he stood, Joe could find no relief from the heat. Earlier, there had been a gentle breeze and for a while it seemed as if it might rain. In the distance, the soft rumbling of thunder could be heard, but now, the gentle vibrations had faded away and it seemed hotter than before.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe turned from the window to pour a small amount of water from the china pitcher into the basin. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror, appalled by the haggard look on his face. His sleepless nights were beginning to show, his face looked tired and dark circles had formed beneath his eyes. No wonder his family looked at him with such concern in their eyes, for he looked like hell, Joe determined. When he finished splashing the water onto his face and dried off with a towel, he returned to the bed, plopping down against the softness of the bedding.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After several minutes of staring at the ceiling in the total darkness, Joe rolled over onto his side and closed his eyes. Moments later he was sleeping.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCURT! CURT!\u201d screamed Joe in his sleep.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The nightmare had quickly become reality in the boy\u2019s mind as he entered the barn and saw the still form of his friend, dangling from the end of a rope.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNO! NO!\u201d shouted Joe, rising upright in the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The bedroom door was flung opened and Ben rushed to the bedside, grabbing Joe\u2019s fraying arms.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph\u2026son\u2026wake up, precious\u2026you\u2019re dreaming,\u201d Ben soothed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCURT! NO!\u201d yelled Joe, unable to shake the nightmare from his confused mind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gave Joe several gentle shakes, attempting to wake the boy. When Joe\u2019s screams ceased, and his eyes fluttered opened, seeing his father\u2019s worried face before him, Joe leaned forward into Ben\u2019s embrace and began to weep.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShh\u2026it\u2019s over now, son. It was just a nightmare,\u201d Ben whispered, holding Joe close to his heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He could feel his son\u2019s body trembling beneath his fingers and he tenderly ran his hand up and down Joe\u2019s back. Joe\u2019s sobs wracked his body until at last he had cried himself out and pushed himself away from the loving hands that held him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe rested his head back onto the pillows, dabbing at his tear-drenched face. Almost bashfully, he looked up at his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry\u2026I didn\u2019t mean to wake you,\u201d he said in a soft voice that sounded much like a small child\u2019s.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want to talk about it?\u201d Ben asked, hopefully, knowing that the issue still remained unsolved.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026I\u2019m fine now, Pa\u2026honest,\u201d Joe lied.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He snuggled down deep into the bed. \u201cI just want to go to sleep\u2026if\u2019n you don\u2019t mind?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course. But Joe, if you want to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t,\u201d Joe said curtly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben rose from the bed, arranging the covers about Joe, who tried to avoid looking directly into his father\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood night, son,\u201d Ben said as he made his way to the door. \u201cTry to rest\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI will\u2026Pa?\u201d Joe called.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben paused, a flicker of hope sparking his heart. \u201cYes, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben saw Joe pinch his lips together as if he were trying to keep words that had surfaced from spewing forth from his mouth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind,\u201d Joe whispered. \u201cIt was nothing,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAlright son\u2026you get some sleep\u2026perhaps we can talk in the morning?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d muttered Joe. \u201cBut not likely,\u201d he thought to himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Deep in his heart, Joe knew he should voice his fears, that he should rid himself of the guilt that tormented his thoughts. He should tell his father about what was eating away at his insides, the knowing about and the not speaking up when he should have. It was killing him, and Joe knew that before long, his fate would end in the same way as his friend\u2019s had been. His life was no longer his own, his destiny lay within the hands of providence and the more he thought about it, the more compelled he was to follow though. He had to know\u2026what was it that Curt had been thinking, feeling, at the very moment that he slipped the rope about his own neck?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI heard him crying out, last night, too,\u201d Adam said at breakfast where he sat with his father and Hoss. Joe had yet to put in an appearance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s been nearly every night since Curt\u2019s death,\u201d Ben stated as he sipped his coffee. \u201cI thought for sure last night he was going to talk, he was so broken up\u2026but, for whatever reason, he just wouldn\u2019t open up to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know how much longer he can go on like he is, Pa. He\u2019s goin\u2019 down hill mighty fast, he looks terrible,\u201d Hoss added to the conversation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI realize that, son. I think I\u2019ll ride into town and have a talk with Paul. Maybe he can give me some new ideas on how to get the boy to talk about what happened,\u201d Ben said as he set his cup down and wiped his mouth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat me to saddle ya horse for ya, Pa?\u201d Hoss offered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026that\u2019s alright, I\u2019ll do it. Adam, will you go up and see what\u2019s keeping Joe? If he\u2019s still sleeping, let him be, he needs the rest,\u201d Ben issued.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure Pa,\u201d agreed Adam, pushing back his chair and doing as his father had asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben moved to the credenza and began strapping on his gun and holster. By the time he put his hat on and was ready to go, Adam appeared on the landing, mid-way of the staircase.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026Joe\u2019s not in his room,\u201d he said, continuing on his way down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHmm\u2026\u201d grunted Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes opened wide in surprise. \u201cMaybe he\u2019s getting an early start on his chores?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d snickered Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He saw his father\u2019s grave look and the smile quickly disappeared from his handsome face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll look in the barn,\u201d he offered, but Ben stopped him by holding up his hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo need, I\u2019m heading that way. If he\u2019s not there, he\u2019s probably indisposed,\u201d Ben said, trying to push down the sudden feeling of dread that ached to consume him. \u201cI\u2019ll not be long, when you find Joe, see that he eats something, if he will,\u201d Ben said as he turned to go out the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On the porch, he paused and took a deep breath to fill his lungs. The feeling of doom still lingered and a sick sensation, as if he needed to retch, caused his stomach to lurch. Pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind, and swallowing deeply to wash down the queasy feeling, Ben made his way to the barn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seeing that the cross bar had been pulled back, indicating that someone had already entered the barn that morning, and assuming it was his youngest son, Ben felt himself relax. His frown lines were replaced with a smile as he walked into the dimly lit barn and remembering Adam\u2019s experience from the morning before, called out his son\u2019s name.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His son\u2019s life instantly flashed before his very eyes, as Ben\u2019s own dark eyes saw and his mind registered the sight he was beholding. In a loud voice, so unlike his natural tone, Ben roared as a mighty lion, his repulsion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOH MY GOD! JOE! <\/strong>NO!<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong> bellowed Ben at the top of his voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben felt his stomach do a double flip as he raced toward the table. His brow had beaded with tiny droplets of moisture as his adrenalin surged throughout his veins. The panic rose to his throat, and Ben spat the phlegm from his mouth in his haste to reach his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026\u201d cried Joe, seeing the horrified look on his father\u2019s face. He could only imagine what his father must be thinking as he tried to pull the noose from about his neck.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The chair in which he had so carefully placed in the center of the old three-legged table, wobbled precariously as he struggled to free himself. Joe turned as his father scampered to climb on the table with him and Joe felt the chair begin to topple over just as he freed his head of the rope that he had tied across the beam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben screamed again, just as the chair fell over and crumbled to the floor of the barn. His strong arms wrapped themselves about Joe\u2019s legs, causing both he and his son to lose their balance and fall to the floor in a heap of arms and legs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh dear God\u2026Joe, no\u2026not you,\u201d wailed Ben as he quickly righted himself and pulled the sobbing boy into his arms where he held the trembling body tightly to his breast.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026\u201d sobbed Joe. \u201cNo\u2026no\u2026please\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, Joseph, dear Lord, son\u2026what were you thinking? My God\u2026I can\u2019t believe this,\u201d Ben lamented.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa\u2026no,\u201d Joe cried repeatedly. \u201cPlease\u2026it\u2019s\u2026not\u2026I wasn\u2019t\u2026honest\u2026Pa, honest,\u201d Joe sobbed into his father\u2019s vest. \u201cI wasn\u2019t going\u2026to do\u2026it\u2026please, Pa\u2026listen,\u201d he beseeched.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben, his horror still lingering on the grotesque picture that had presented itself of his son hanging from the beam of the barn, refused to let his mind comprehend his son\u2019s pleas to hear his words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe this is happening,\u201d Ben continued.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026oh Pa\u2026\u201d cried Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy Joseph, why, son? You could have come to me\u2026I would have helped you\u2026you didn\u2019t need to do this\u2026\u201d Ben sobbed out.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His tears had ran down his face and dripped into the chestnut curls beneath his chin. Ben\u2019s hold tightened, as though he were afraid that once he let go, his son would be lost to him forever. Clinging desperately to one another, the pair continued to cry, until after long moments, they returned to themselves.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben could feel the shivers that ran through the boy\u2019s body and Joe, resting securely within his father\u2019s arms, his head against Ben\u2019s chest, could hear the rapid pounding of his father\u2019s heart. The organ was racing wildly and Joe knew that he had practically scared the life out of his father. His mind raced to find a way to make his parent understand his true intentions, for the look on Ben\u2019s face broke Joe\u2019s heart, more so than when he found his friend dead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carefully, Joe raised his head and looked up at his father. His voice quivered slightly when he spoke.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d he whispered softly. \u201cI wasn\u2019t going to\u2026do what you thought I was\u2026honest,\u201d Joe said, a sob catching in his throat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s face, a mixture of emotions, stared blankly into the younger, tear drenched face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen please explain to me, what on earth you were thinking, Joseph,\u201d Ben muttered. \u201cWhat in God\u2019s, good name were you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Despite the effort, Joe began weeping softly. He lowered his head just enough to shield his face from his father\u2019s deep, probing eyes. Gently Ben lifted the quivering chin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, tell me, please\u2026what is going on inside this head of yours? Let me help you, sweetheart\u2026before\u2026before\u2026\u201d Ben was forced to swallow the bile that sprung from the pits of his stomach into his mouth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to know\u2026what Curt was feeling\u2026what he must have felt like\u2026when he\u2026he\u2026put the rope\u2026around his neck,\u201d Joe began weeping openly and leaned forward, burying his face deeply into the soft leather of his father\u2019s vest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was awful, Pa\u2026his face\u2026so blue\u2026his eyes\u2026staring out\u2026at nothing,\u201d cried Joe. \u201cOh God\u2026I can\u2019t get it out of my head!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The heartbroken sobs continued.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe told me\u2026but I didn\u2019t believe\u2026him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben listened intently, for much of what Joe was saying was garbled and hard to understand between the deep sobs that shook his young body.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe told you what, son? What didn\u2019t you believe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI should have\u2026told someone\u2026but I\u2026just laughed it\u2026off. I didn\u2019t\u2026take\u2026him seriously\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHis face\u2026it was\u2026hideous!\u201d blurted Joe, burying deeper, if possible, against his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben, wanting nothing more than to put the issue to rest, gripped Joe by the shoulders and pulled him free of his vest. He shook the boy gently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, listen to me\u2026stop crying and answer me,\u201d Ben ordered in his deep, authoritarian tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it that Curt told you that makes you feel responsible for his death?\u201d Ben said, softening his voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe wiped his sleeves across his eyes and looked up at his father. He tried to gain control of his sniffling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe told me\u2026he was going\u2026to\u2026kill himself,\u201d Joe said, his eyes watering once more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Again he wiped his shirtsleeves across his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI laughed\u2026and said I didn\u2019t\u2026believe him\u2026but Pa\u2026\u201d Joe could do nothing to stop the tears from rolling down his face. \u201cHe\u2026meant it. Why? Why Pa\u2026why did he do it?\u201d cried Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gathered his distraught son back into his arms as he fought his own tears. He held Joe close, his fingers running through the thick curls as he tried to calm his son\u2019s weeping.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Joe\u2026why a person, or how a person\u2026comes to believe that something is so awfully wrong with their lives, that they have to end their own,\u201d Ben tried to explain.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe shook his head and pulled back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe said his mother and father\u2026were getting a\u2026divorce,\u201d Joe whispered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He had never know a man and wife who had gotten a divorce, it was practically unheard of and Joe had always thought of a divorce as breaking one of God\u2019s commandments.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCurt made me promise not to tell anyone\u2026even you. He said that his mother was leaving his father and going back east to get\u2026it,\u201d Joe explained.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut that\u2019s not reason enough for the boy to want to take his own life,\u201d Ben said, puzzled by Joe\u2019s friend\u2019s thinking.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat wasn\u2019t all of it, Pa.\u201d Joe swallowed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben could see the boy\u2019s chin quivering as he struggled with his words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCurt overheard his parents arguing\u2026and Mister Taylor accused Curt\u2019s ma of being\u2026with\u2026child\u2026another man\u2019s child\u2026not his,\u201d Joe said, barely above a whisper.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd Curt said that\u2026his pa told his mother, he could forgive her one time, but not twice,\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did he mean by that?\u201d Ben pondered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe sniffed at his nose again. \u201cCurt told me that Mister Taylor\u2026told him that he wasn\u2019t his real father, that he married Misses Taylor after she had had an affair with another man\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph! That\u2019s nothing more than gossip,\u201d Ben scolded gently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know that, Pa\u2026but Curt was the one telling me. He was so ashamed\u2026he said he wanted to\u2026die,\u201d stammered Joe. \u201cA bastard\u2026that\u2019s what Curt called himself\u2026a bastard that nobody wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDear God,\u201d muttered Ben. \u201cThat poor boy!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Joe said timidly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, son?\u201d Ben said, brushing back the dampen curls from Joe\u2019s brow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think that I sort of know what Curt was feeling\u2026about his mother, I mean,\u201d he said. \u201cOnce, someone told me that\u2026my mother was expecting me\u2026when she married you\u2026remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI remember,\u201d Ben shook his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I remember what I felt like, thinking that you weren\u2019t my real Pa either; that is until you told me different. But with Curt\u2026it was different\u2026he grew up believing that Mister Taylor was his real Pa, and then in a moment of anger, his pa blurts out the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe lowered his head again, and began fighting back tears. When he looked up at his father, Ben\u2019s heart melted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI should have helped him, Pa, instead of making light of it. I could have stopped him\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, son\u2026no. You cannot blame yourself for any of this. The boy was devastated, heartbroken, and that was no one\u2019s fault but his father\u2019s. The man should be horse whipped for telling that boy something so horrid in such a manner,\u201d growled Ben, furious at Taylor for shattering a young boy\u2019s life and practically destroying his own son\u2019s life as well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, listen to me, please. You are not to blame for this, not any way, shape or form. Do you understand me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded his head. \u201cI suppose I know that, but Pa\u2026when I walked into that barn and saw\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026please\u2026I know how shocked you must have been, how frightened\u2026you have to try to put the image out of your mind. I know it was horrible, I saw Curt shortly afterwards, and I know how affected you were\u2026you stopped talking for days afterward. The doctor said you were in shock\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben paused, suddenly remembering his own sick feelings when he entered the barn a short time ago and saw his own son about to do what his friend had done.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was strangely calm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe watched his father\u2019s eyes darken to near ebony with a look on his face that he had never seen before. It frightened him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Pa?\u201d he said in a quivering voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat were you attempting to do, when I came in here and found you on that table\u2026with that rope around your neck?\u201d Ben quizzed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot what you were thinking, honest Pa\u2026ya gotta believe me,\u201d stammered Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI want to son, but you have to explain\u2026because right now, at this moment, I don\u2019t understand\u2026do you have any idea how I felt when I saw you about to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe butted in with a rush of words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI understand, Pa\u2026I know what you thought, I saw your face\u2026I heard you scream\u2026I saw,\u201d Joe took a deep breath to calm himself before continuing. \u201cI saw in your eyes\u2026what must have been in my eyes, when I found Curt.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Reliving the memory of what he had seen, brought on an onslaught of fresh tears. Clinging tightly to his father, Joe broke down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa,\u201d he sobbed, \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to scare ya\u2026I was only trying\u2026to get into my head, what Curt must have been feeling. I needed to find out if he really wanted to die, or if somehow\u2026it might have been an accident. I\u2019m so sorry, I didn\u2019t think you were anywhere around, I\u2026I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe eye\u2019s sought his father\u2019s and his expression begged for understanding.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t wanna die, Pa\u2026honest\u2026no matter how bad things get. I\u2019d never do that to you\u2026especially now, after seeing your face.\u201d Joe continued to sob. \u201cIt was wrong\u2026what Curt did, it didn\u2019t solve anything; it didn\u2019t make the problems go away\u2026did it? It only made a bad situation worse, isn\u2019t that what you always tell me\u2026that you can\u2019t run from your problems, that we have face them\u2026that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right, son. And in the wake of his death, he left behind so many unanswered questions, so many broken hearts and so much grief. If you knew these things, Joe, why didn\u2019t you come to me before now? Why did you go to such drastic measures to find an answer to your problems?\u201d Ben insisted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe tossed his head from side to side, trying to put things into perspective.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026I guess I was just\u2026ashamed\u2026and scared\u2026and\u2026oh\u2026please, forgive me\u2026I didn\u2019t mean anything by what I was doing\u2026ya just gotta believe me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShh,\u201d soothed Ben, taking his son back into his arms. \u201cI believe you Joseph\u2026I believe you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust promise me that from now on, you\u2019ll come to me\u2026it doesn\u2019t matter what the situation might be, or how much trouble you might think you\u2019re in, I\u2019m here for you son\u2026now and always,\u201d Ben cooed in a loving voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With the knowledge that Joe had not been able to do what he had first thought, his insides had begun to settle down. His heartbeat had slowed and was reaching a more normal beat. Ben could now grasp the fact that he had interpreted the situation wrong, he had misjudged the boy and regardless of how obscure and missed placed his first impression had been, Ben was thankful that his son was only acting out, searching for his own answers in his own way, and not the alternative.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That night, Joe slept like a baby. He had insisted that Ben leave the lamp burning low, just in case he was awakened by a nightmare, and Ben, happy to have his son back, whole-heartedly agreed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll only be gone a couple of days, Joe. And when I get back, we\u2019ll have that birthday party we\u2019ve been planning,\u201d smiled Ben as he ruffled Joe\u2019s thick curls.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo ya have to go, Pa? Why can\u2019t I go with you? I promise, I\u2019ll be good and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben laughed at the boy\u2019s eagerness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot this time, Joe. I\u2019ve already explained to you, that I have business with the chief that does not concern you. Now\u2026let me go, the sooner I leave, the sooner I\u2019ll be back,\u201d Ben insisted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe reluctantly nodded his head and stepped back so that his father could mount up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou promise, two days, no more?\u201d he called as Ben readied himself to leave.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI promise,\u201d he said to the wide-eyed boy. \u201cAdam, Hoss, you take care of this rapscallion for me,\u201d he teased.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t ya worry \u2018bout a thing, Pa, I reckon me and Adam can handle one pint-sized little boy,\u201d heehawed Hoss in his good-natured manner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t a kid, Hoss\u2026I\u2019ll be sixteen in three days, and that makes me a man, ain\u2019t that right, Pa?\u201d Joe said, demanding an answer from his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat depends, young man\u2026we\u2019ll talk about THAT when I get home. Now, you be good and mind what your brothers tell you!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned Buck around and disappeared around the corner of the barn, out of sight of the three young men who waved at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWonder what he\u2019s gonna go with all them rifles?\u201d Joe questioned his brothers. \u201cYou don\u2019t reckon he\u2019s aiming on starting a war with Chief Winnemucca, do ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss tossed back their heads and laughed loudly, causing Joe to smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t hardly think so, little buddy,\u201d Adam snickered. \u201cDon\u2019t worry about what Pa\u2019s up to, you just need to worry about that barn.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam pointed toward the building in question.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about the barn?\u201d Joe responded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s your turn to clean the tack room!\u201d ordered Adam as he gave his younger brother a gentle nudge toward the barn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAw\u2026shucks,\u201d muttered Joe under his breath. \u201cI was hoping you\u2019d forgotten!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two days that his father was gone passed quickly for Joe. His two brothers seemed to find endless tasks to keep him busy, and with the preparations for his sixteenth birthday party already in the makings, Joe had little time to reflect on past events. He had been so worn out by the end of the day that he went willingly to bed each night and had dropped off to sleep immediately, never waking until the sound of Hoss\u2019 shouts woke him to the beginning of a new day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPA!\u201d shouted Joe as he started out the door and spied his father riding into the yard. \u201cHOSS, ADAM\u2026PA\u2019S BACK!\u201d he called over his shoulder as he scurried out to greet his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s smile broke across his face as he watched Joe running across the yard to meet him. It was such a joy to see that the haggard and forlorn expressions had disappeared and been replaced with happiness once more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHello, son,\u201d Ben greeted the boy as he slipped his arm across the back of Joe\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad your home, Pa\u2026I\u2026missed you. Say, don\u2019t things look nice?\u201d Joe said, spreading his arm out in a semi-circle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben glanced around the yard, noting the decorations and the Chinese lanterns that had been strung about the yard in preparations for the party.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy, someone\u2019s been working hard,\u201d he said, grinning at Joe. \u201cI wonder whose birthday it is?\u201d he teased.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAw\u2026Pa,\u201d Joe moaned, lowering his head just enough so that Ben could not see the smile that he was trying to hide.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben laughed at his son\u2019s antics.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Pa, welcome home,\u201d Hoss greeted his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026see you made it back. I hope your business went well?\u201d Adam hinted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes\u2026everything worked out nicely, thank you. My, it\u2019s good to be home,\u201d Ben concluded. \u201cWell, I don\u2019t know about you, but I\u2019m hungry\u2026and I want a nice hot bath\u2026before our guests begin to arrive,\u201d Ben stated as he started toward the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be in soon,\u201d Joe called, \u201cI have to finish my chores.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben paused at the front door and watched Joe enter into the barn without hesitation. He\u2019d had lingering doubts and suppressed worries that Joe might still be carrying remnants of guilt in his mind about his friend\u2019s suicide. Watching the carefree manner, in which Joe bounced along, put the fears and worries to rest at last. Ben closed the door behind him, a feeling of anticipation about tonight\u2019s party replaced his uncertainties and he found himself smiling for the first real time in weeks.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026Pa wants ya out in the barn,\u201d Hoss said, trying to sound as serious as he could.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat for? The guests are arriving any minute,\u201d moaned Joe as he struggled with his black string tie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cForget the tie, Little Joe\u2026Pa said for ya to hurry, he wants to have a word with ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAw\u2026alright,\u201d groaned Joe, tossing the tie onto the bed. \u201cI don\u2019t know why he wants to talk to me,\u201d he said over his shoulder as he led the way down the stairs. \u201cI didn\u2019t do anything, I don\u2019t reckon. Did he say what he wanted to talk to me about?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNope\u2026just asked me to fetch ya,\u201d Hoss answered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam met them at the front door, dressed in his best white shirt. Joe noted that his brother\u2019s string tie was neatly tied and he gave Adam a disgusted look.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam opened the door wide and waved his hand out, offering to let Little Joe go before him. With a quick glance at Hoss, the pair followed their younger brother to the barn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Joe called into the darkened interior.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIn here son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOver here\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s head appeared over the top of the half wall of the stall in the furthermost corner of the barn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome on over here, Joe\u2026I want to show you something.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben motioned with his hand for Joe to come nearer. Joe took a small step forward, aware of this brothers behind him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, stop there,\u201d Ben, ordered. \u201cAnd close your eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, just do it, son,\u201d Ben ordered a second time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss stepped up to the smaller boy and placed his hands over Joe\u2019s eyes, preventing Joe from seeing what his father was up to. Joe\u2019s smaller hands covered Hoss\u2019 in an attempt to pull the bigger hands away from his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, alright, they\u2019re closed\u2026but hurry up\u2026my guest will be\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOpen your eyes son,\u201d Ben said in a thick voice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss lowered his hands as Joe opened his eyes. It was a second before Joe could focus on his father and the\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s mouth flew opened, his eyes widened in surprise.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPA!\u201d gasped Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026what do you think of him?\u201d smiled Ben, please at his son\u2019s reaction.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s\u2026beautiful! Is he mine?\u201d Joe\u2019s voice quivered as he approached the\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam laughed. \u201cWell, he sure isn\u2019t Hoss\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome on over here and take a good look at him,\u201d Ben laughed encouragingly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe inched forward, amazed at what he was seeing. The pinto nickered and tried to nuzzle his nose into Joe\u2019s chest, causing Joe to beam proudly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026I don\u2019t know what to say,\u201d stammered Joe, rubbing the velvety end of the horse\u2019s nose. \u201cHe\u2019s really something\u2026black and white, just like I was wanting.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI had a hard time talking Chief Winnemucca out of this particular pinto, son. But when I told him I wanted him for a birthday present for my youngest son\u2026he finally gave in and accepted my offer,\u201d Ben explained.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you please?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe spun around; tears filled his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease? Oh, Pa\u2026he\u2019s the best,\u201d cried Joe as he flung his arms about his father\u2019s neck. \u201cAnd so are you! Thank you\u2026thank you, Pa\u2026it\u2019s the best gift ever!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Laughing, Ben returned the hug. \u201cI\u2019m glad you like him, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe have something for you too, kid,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe released his father and followed his brothers to the opposite side of the barn. When Hoss pulled the blanket off the new saddle, Joe gasped for the second time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, Hoss\u2026I\u2026I,\u201d he stammered. \u201cThank you\u2026it\u2019s perfect!\u201d he responded as he ran his hand gently over the soft leather.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, we figured if you had a new horse, you needed a new saddle,\u201d Adam said with a smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey\u2026I think company\u2019s arriving,\u201d laughed Ben, pleased to see the sparkle had returned to Joe\u2019s emerald eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben, Adam and Hoss, headed toward the door, ready to enjoy the festivities. Ben stopped short of the doorway and glanced over his shoulder. Joe had his arms wrapped about his new pinto\u2019s neck and had nuzzled his face against the soft hide.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t be long\u2026honest\u2026and then we can get acquainted,\u201d he whispered to the horse. \u201cI\u2019ll have to think of the perfect name for you, boy, but we\u2019ll have plenty of time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cComing, Pa,\u201d Joe said reluctantly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he turned to go, the pinto whinnied. The boy giggled and flashed his father a bright smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa\u2026\u201d he said as he stood with Ben in the soft glow cast by Hop Sing\u2019s lanterns.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben said, finding a moment alone with his son, \u201cI wanted to give you something special this year, something that would require your full attention. I wanted it to be something you needed\u2026something extraordinary that would force you into opening up your heart and taking your mind off those unleashed skeletons you\u2019ve been carrying around with you for so long now.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So, I went to see the Chief\u2026I traded him some rifles, a few head of cattle for his people and I told him the story of a remarkable boy\u2019s passage into manhood. I told the chief that this young man needed a horse worthy of his endeavors\u2026a horse that stood out among others, for the young man was such a man. I explained to Winnemucca that the horse had to be brave, for the man was brave, and that the horse had to have spirit, for the man had spirit.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I also told him that the horse should be young, so that the young man and the horse could grow older and wiser together; a strong willed horse with determination, yet gentle enough to match the fortitude and compassion of the boy-turned-man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I think I\u2019ve found the perfect match for you son\u2026the horse, like the young man, are deserving of one another. I want you to know, Joe, that I admire your courage, your strength, and your compassion for those around you. I love you, Joseph\u2026Happy Birthday!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben ran his hand over his face, and placed his arm around the slender shoulders as Joe molded his body against his father\u2019s, in a tight embrace. There were no need for further words; they understood one another in a way that often amazed others. Their devotion, one to the other, would be tried and tested over the years to come, but with a love that never faltered, they would endure the challenges, for after all, they were\u2026father and son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

THE END<\/p>\n

July 2004.\u00a0\u00a0 Thanks to Peggy Fox for the story idea.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0 Plagued with a haunting memory, Joe refuses to open his heart and face reality.\u00a0 Ben searches desperately for a way to help his son before life becomes so unbearable for the boy, that Joe takes drastic measures.<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 PG13 for death of young person.\u00a0 (9,025 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9052,"featured_media":15862,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1015,23,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-joe-pa","category-drama","category-prequels","wpcat-1015-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-30-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1721,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/snake-skeleton.jpg?fit=1280%2C853&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":47236,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=47236","url_meta":{"origin":12335,"position":0},"title":"Anything for Family (by Lynnette Smith)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"May 31, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: When Richard Darvey is out for revenge on Ben Cartwright for the death of his son, Joe must decide how much he is willing to give to protect his father. When Darvey fails to claim his revenge on the Cartwrights it becomes quite clear that someone other then Darvey\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Action\/Adventure"","block_context":{"text":"Action\/Adventure","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2461,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2461","url_meta":{"origin":12335,"position":1},"title":"Trapped in Remorse (by Devonshire)","author":"Devonshire","date":"January 2, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0A WHN scene for the episode The Trap. Booth is encouraged by Ben to visit Joe, who is still recovering from the gunfight. Rated K+ (3,065 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/capture.png?fit=383%2C444&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5809,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5809","url_meta":{"origin":12335,"position":2},"title":"Tears of Sorrow, Tears of Joy (by Rona)","author":"Rona","date":"December 29, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Tragedy is compounded by heartbreak for the Cartwrights. Rated:\u00a0 T \u00a0 \u00a0(9,020 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/cattle-drive.jpg?fit=357%2C267&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6506,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6506","url_meta":{"origin":12335,"position":3},"title":"One Shot (by rh2006fan \/ HeatherF)","author":"heather","date":"May 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0\u00a0 A normal trip to the saloon turns tragic. I wrote this back in the summer, you may need some tissues with this too... Warning: Character death Rated:\u00a0 T (1,450 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/coming-soon-9.jpg?fit=320%2C240&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7144,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7144","url_meta":{"origin":12335,"position":4},"title":"Beauty is the Lover’s Gift (by Rona)","author":"Rona","date":"March 24, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0When Joe falls sick with a fever after Julia Bulette\u2019s death, Ben remembers his relationship with Julia. Rated:\u00a0 MA (8,380 words)","rel":"","context":"In "MA-Rated \/ R-Rated"","block_context":{"text":"MA-Rated \/ R-Rated","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=690"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3798,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=3798","url_meta":{"origin":12335,"position":5},"title":"The Church Social (by Rona)","author":"Rona","date":"August 26, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 A church social brings tragedy to Virginia City and the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Rated:\u00a0 K \u00a0\u00a0(6,365 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12335","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/9052"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12335"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12335\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/15862"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12335"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12335"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12335"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}