{"id":12490,"date":"2016-01-20T08:54:02","date_gmt":"2016-01-20T13:54:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12490"},"modified":"2025-08-01T13:29:13","modified_gmt":"2025-08-01T17:29:13","slug":"yesterday-a-jealous-man-aka-todays-lonely-fool-by-bluewindfarm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12490","title":{"rendered":"Yesterday a Jealous Man, aka Today’s Lonely Fool (by BluewindFarm)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>: The aftermath from She Walks in Beauty<\/strong>\u00a0 — written by William Stuart and directed by Don McDougall<\/span><\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 K+\u00a0 (1,550 words)<\/span><\/p>\n

Yesterday Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yesterday A Jealous Man, aka Today’s Lonely Fool<\/a>
\nHow Can You Mend a Broken Heart<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Inspiration for this story is from the song Today\u2019s Lonely Fool<\/em> sung by Tracy Lawrence, lyrics by Stanley Paul Davis and Kenneth Matthew Beard.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yesterday a Jealous Man
\n(aka Today\u2019s Lonely Fool)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/strong><\/span>
\nMy family tried to tell me. But I weren\u2019t listenin’. She was so beautiful, so elegant; a real lady. And we were in love.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t believe what I\u2019d seen earlier, Adam leanin\u2019 against that tree with his arms around her, and forcin\u2019 her to kiss him. But I saw it with my own eyes. Don\u2019t know when I ever felt that mad before. How does a person get so confounded mad they want to tear their brother limb from limb?<\/span><\/p>\n

Sure, Adam and Little Joe have gone round a time or two, but that\u2019s different. Adam knows when to pull his punches. He hits just hard enough to get his point across, but not as hard as he would if\u2019n he\u2019d been fightin\u2019 someone threatenin\u2019 his family. And Joe? Sure, he can pack a wallop, but he never goes all out against his family. Not enough to truly hurt a body.<\/span><\/p>\n

But I did, I crossed the line. I let a woman come between me and my family. Shucks, I even argued with Pa, shoutin\u2019 at him how wrong they was. I was gonna marry her, Miss Ragan loved me.<\/span><\/p>\n

But she didn\u2019t, at least not enough to change her ways.<\/span><\/p>\n

Aw, she wasn\u2019t one of those loose women, a soiled-dove type woman; she enjoyed bein\u2019 loved. I\u2019d of given her everythin\u2019, the stars and the moon, if\u2019n I owned \u2018em. But I didn\u2019t. All I had was my horse and gear, and what little was in my bank account. Sure, I was part owner in the Ponderosa, but that wasn\u2019t mine to give.<\/span><\/p>\n

A leopard can\u2019t change their spots any more than a tiger can change its stripes. At least that\u2019s what Adam tried to say. But he was wrong. I changed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Big, gentle-hearted me. I woulda done anythin\u2019 for my brothers, I\u2019d never laid a hand on them in anger. I\u2019ve known for a long time that I could really hurt someone without meanin\u2019 to. Maybe that\u2019s why most people don\u2019t think of me as smart as my brothers; I make sure I\u2019m slow to anger, that I think before I act.<\/span><\/p>\n

And I did think, and the more I thought, the madder I got. I let a pretty face turn my head, and my heart. Just like Joe when he accused Adam of tryin\u2019 to steal Miss Melinda from him, I knew different. I\u2019d seen the way she acted with Joe, and then with Adam. But when I saw them together, Adam and Ragan, I felt the same as Joe. Adam was tryin\u2019 to steal away the woman I loved to prove he was the better man. And if he didn\u2019t really love her, then he was tryin\u2019 to prove me a fool.<\/span><\/p>\n

But he didn\u2019t prove me a fool. I did.<\/span><\/p>\n

My punches sent my brother across the bunk house and he never once lifted a hand to defend himself nor to retaliate.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

I’d had Pa invite all our friends for a party to introduce her and her sister.\u00a0 When she arrived for our engagement party, she didn\u2019t look like the Ragan I knew, the Ragan I thought I knew. Dancin\u2019 with all those men; never sittin\u2019 out a single dance. Later, I found her and Pa out talkin’ on the porch.<\/span><\/p>\n

She tried to tell me the truth.\u00a0 She explained what happened earlier with Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

Like Pa always said, the past was the past. It didn\u2019t matter to me; I knew it was Adam\u2019s fault. But for some reason it mattered to her. I wanted to make her happy; I\u2019d do anythin\u2019 to see to her happiness, even livin\u2019 in the big city.<\/span><\/p>\n

It made no sense for her to say the worst thing to happen would be for her to love me, how her love would destroy me; if we were together, that shoulda been enough.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

I never saw Adam last night, not after he left the bunkhouse. Later, after Miss Ragan left, I needed to talk, but his door was locked; a sure sign he didn\u2019t want to talk.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa and Joe helped Hop Sing tidy things up in the house, but I couldn\u2019t face them. Like a curtain pulled back, I was beginnin\u2019 to see things differently. After changin\u2019 outa my good clothes, I left the house, and my home.\u00a0\u00a0 As I rode through the night, I finally began to understand, she was all about parties and fancy clothes, and bein’\u00a0seen as someone important. Somethin\u2019 niggled in the back of my mind about her climbin\u2019 the social ladder and havin\u2019 men fall over themselves at her feet.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Chubbs nickered from the lean to, guess Pa or Joe finally come lookin\u2019 for me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa, footsteps were too heavy for Joe. <\/span><\/p>\n

He knocked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome in.\u201d As a sign of respect, I stood.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThought you might be here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Twirlin\u2019 his hat around in his hands like he does when he don\u2019t want someone ta know he\u2019s nervous, Adam entered the line shack. \u201cYou ready to come home?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa send ya?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNope.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t he or Little Joe come?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I asked them to give you time; and to let me be the one to bring you home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what if I don\u2019t wanna go home with you?\u201d Yeah, I was still mad.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s your prerogative, but Hop Sing\u2019s threatening to go back to China if you don\u2019t come home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t funny, Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but he misses you. So do Pa and Little Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I also heard what he didn\u2019t say, he did too. But I couldn\u2019t. \u201cYeah, well, they\u2019re all better off without me. Safer for \u2018em.\u201d Adam winced, rubbin\u2019 a hand across his chin; guess he remembered those punches, \u201cSure you wanna be here with me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou do know that\u2019s not the way I wanted it to happen.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Walkin\u2019 away from my brother, I kept the table between us; sorta like a barricade. \u201cHow did you want it to happen?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d Tossin\u2019 his hat to the table, he pulled out a chair and sat. \u201cI knew what I heard in San Francisco, and I wanted to protect you. I just didn\u2019t know how to do it without hurting you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pullin\u2019 out the other chair, I sat and faced my brother. \u201cI loved her Adam. I wanted the kinda love Pa had with Ma.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think we all want that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

We sat in silence for a few minutes, lookin\u2019 at each other, then lookin\u2019 at our hands. We ain\u2019t never had a mess like this before, not me and Adam. But still, it was comfortin\u2019, here was my big brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think Miss Ragan\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, no. Don\u2019t ask that question. She is who and what she is. I think she tried to get away from the rumors and came here to be with her sister. Emilia wanted her to be something she wasn\u2019t, and that\u2019s the Ragan you fell in love with. She couldn\u2019t have kept the pretense forever.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what happened yesterday afternoon, weren\u2019t it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam nodded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry I pounded ya.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo you\u2019re not. You meant it, and I suppose I had it coming. I should have stopped her. I knew she couldn\u2019t stop herself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWould you have, had ya known I came back?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. Maybe I wanted to see how far she\u2019d take it; how far she\u2019d allow herself to go before she\u2019d stop. If she’d stop.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

With fingers interlaced and on the table in front of him, Adam said he was truly sorry. And I know he was, and not just because I’d seen \u2018em. Just like Joe and the Banning incident, I\u2019d only seen what I wanted to.\u00a0 I had refused to accept that my big brother was tryin\u2019 to protect me.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI was so jealous of ya.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

With palms flat on the table, Adam pushed himself up, then reached for his hat.\u00a0 I heard the moan he tried to hide.\u00a0<\/span>Before turning to leave, \u201cLove can do that to a man. The best you can do is don\u2019t let it harden your heart.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Standin\u2019 to my own feet, I slipped my hands into my pant pockets and shuffled along behind Adam, grabbing my hat off the peg on the wall as we left.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam rode Sport right past the turn off to home; he kept ridin\u2019 to Virginia City with me by his side.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRagan\u2019s leaving town on the late afternoon stage. Emilia came by and told us earlier this morning.\u201d Adam didn\u2019t look at me, he just kept ridin\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t really want to go; but I had to see for myself, and I guess Adam knew it was for the best.<\/span><\/p>\n

A wise man once said, \u201cIf ya love someone let \u2018em go, if they come back\u2026\u201d I don\u2019t think Miss Ragan will be comin\u2019 back. I hope someday she finds what she\u2019s lookin\u2019 for.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

When we finally headed home, and with the sun shinin\u2019 on my brother\u2019s face, I saw some of the bruises I\u2019d put there. Yesterday I was a jealous man, and when I woke this mornin\u2019 I was a lonely fool. Again, I was wrong, Adam proved that. I might be a fool, but not a lonely one; not with my family backin\u2019 me. Cain\u2019t ask for a better family than what I got.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

~The End<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags: \u00a0Adam Cartwright, <\/span>ESH, <\/span>Forgiveness, <\/span>HAM, <\/span>Hoss Cartwright, <\/span>jealousy<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

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<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: The aftermath from She Walks in Beauty\u00a0
\nRating:\u00a0 K+\u00a0 (1,550 words)
\nYesterday Series, links to stories included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":7522,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1090,23,61,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12490","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-hoss","category-drama","category-missing-scene","category-whn","wpcat-1090-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-61-id","wpcat-13-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2340,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/QIXI-chapter9.jpg?fit=400%2C303&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":46658,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=46658","url_meta":{"origin":12490,"position":0},"title":"How Can You Mend a Broken Heart (by BluewindFarm)","author":"BluewindFarm","date":"December 24, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 To some, the holidays aren\u2019t always merry, nor bright. 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