{"id":12623,"date":"2004-05-20T00:28:54","date_gmt":"2004-05-20T04:28:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12623"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:09:36","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:09:36","slug":"shadow-by-nanuk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12623","title":{"rendered":"Shadow (by Nanuk)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>: This was written after a discussion about what happened to Adam after his disappearance from the series. I heard some many depressing stories about the rest of the family; friends told me that at first Ben sometimes referred to Adam, but later on in the series told everyone that he had only two sons… So, this “two sons” was what set me off. I wondered what could have happened that Ben said something like this, and here it is, an “in-between Adam\u00b4s disappearance and …two sons.”<\/p>\n

( As always: English is not my first language, please be tolerant.)<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 K+ (4,200 words)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SHADOW<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ben closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Then he took a deep breath to calm himself, opened his eyes and looked around the great room.<\/p>\n

It was empty, as empty as his heart at this moment. His son was gone. His son had left. Angry tears threatened to fill his eyes, but he willed them away, clenching his fists.<\/p>\n

He was gone? Fine then. Life would go on. But even as Ben tried to harden his mind to unwelcomed thoughts, he could feel the terrible loneliness creep up to engulf him, to drown him. His son was gone. And perhaps he would never return.<\/p>\n

Ben glanced around the room. There was nothing here that indicated the loss, nothing that proved that in fact four people had been living here just yesterday. There was nothing that gave a hint that a dark young man had lived here.<\/p>\n

He sighed and sat in his big red chair next to the fireplace. He was wrong, though, he thought. Looking back at him as he stared was the blue chair on the opposite side of the table, lonely reminder now of days long gone. His son\u00b4s favourite chair it had been, where he had used to sit down many an evening after a hard day\u00b4s work, reading, playing the guitar,…<\/p>\n

Ben got up. It was too much. He had to get out of here, where memories seemed to flow from every corner of the room. He shook his head. No, he wouldn\u00b4t back down. This was his house after all, his house for more than thirty years, and here he would stay.<\/p>\n

Turning, he cast a quick glance up the stairs and smiled ruefully. He doubted he could find sleep this night, there…in his bedroom, right next to the room where his son used to…<\/p>\n

Adam.<\/p>\n

The thought of Adam left him trembling with suppressed emotions. All day long he had tried to shut out HIS name from his mind. The farewells at the coach station had been cool and formal on both sides, the arguments not yet forgotten. Ben had stared down the road, long after the stage coach had been gone, swallowed by a cloud of hot dust. He had stared after his firstborn son, with dry eyes and empty mind, trying to feel \u2013 anything.<\/p>\n

It had been a winter full of arguing. Adam, confined to the ranch, had acted like a cougar in a trap. His moods had gradually become darker as winter proceeded and heavy snowfall stopped all out-side activity. And with the withdrawal of fresh air and vast spaces, he shut out anything that might have broken through the wall he had erected.<\/p>\n

He didn\u00b4t speak for days. When spoken to directly he answered in one word sentences, his clipped cold tones telling everyone just what exactly he was thinking. He wanted to be left alone. He didn\u00b4t want to be addressed. He wanted privacy.<\/p>\n

Dozens of evenings Ben had found him in the barn, laying on a pile of hay, staring up at the ceiling, oblivious of the cold. Awoken to the unwelcomed presence he had snarled at him, then locked all emotions behind an inscrutable mask of indifference. Ben\u00b4s kind words were ignored as Adam brushed past him and escaped to his room. After that he brought a blanket with him every time he sought solitude, and Ben, weary of trying to talk sense into him, let him be. He suspected that Adam took to sleeping in the barn inspite of the cold, for he never came back to the house before Ben went to bed. And Ben, sick at heart not knowing what was wrong and not daring to confront Adam in the knowledge they would end up shouting once again, had hoped that spring would bring release.<\/p>\n

He was wrong. Adam, restless as ever, had taken to long rides, in the middle of the night, for days on end, never telling them when he went, or how long he would be gone. His work lay neglected, his drawings forgotten. He hadn\u00b4t sung in months, hadn\u00b4t laughed in weeks. On rare occasions his brothers could steal a smile from him that barely touched the corners of his lips. They had worried at first when he rode out, but the relief they all felt every time when Adam was gone was obvious to all of them, and the shame they experienced couldn\u00b4t subdue it.<\/p>\n

And now he was truly gone. His things packed, his room cleaned out, he had disappeared from their lives like a shadow. They didn\u00b4t have more than a week to prepare themselves for what could well be a good-bye forever. The last time Adam had come home, he had presented them with the news, and no heated discussion, argument or temper tantrum could change his mind. Everyone\u00b4s nerves were lying blank when he left the house for the last time; and Adam didn\u00b4t look back.<\/p>\n

Ben had come to his room the night before he left. Adam had been asleep, the deep lines in his face softened by sleep. Ben had stood and looked down at him, seeing for the umpteenth time the child behind the handsome features. He left then, and sitting by the window in his own room, had stared at the stars all night.<\/p>\n

Adam hadn\u00b4t allowed his brothers to take him to town. He had reluctantly hugged them good-bye and turned, his desire to be gone pouring from him like rain from the sky. He hadn\u00b4t been able to convince Ben to stay at home, and so they had shared a half hour of uncomfortable silent waiting in front of the coach station. When the coach finally arrived, Ben looked at his son. The truth was, he could no longer figure out what kind of behaviour to expect from Adam, and so he waited. Adam turned to him then, but he didn\u00b4t step closer for an embrace nor did he reach out his hand. He had stood and looked at his father, his eyes giving away his emotions for once. Then, he had softly said “Good-bye, Pa” before he stepped into the coach. And Ben, feeling rejected and betrayed, had stared after him long after the carriage had disappeared.<\/p>\n

He had come home to see the melancholic faces of his other sons, and the sight made him harden his heart. Fine then. Adam had chosen to leave this family. Fine. But he wouldn\u00b4t let his other sons suffer because of him. He knew his own face was set, and he had forced himself to smile at them before he sent them out to the barn. He had called out to Hop Sing after they were gone, and had set to pack Adam\u00b4s things away, everything that might remind them of him: books, drawings, his guitar and \u2013 after hesitating a long time \u2013 pictures of him. Now there was no trace left that another Cartwright son had ever lived here. No trace that he had ever had another son. A son with darkly handsome features, unruly as the summer wind and lovingly gentle, stubborn as a mule and charming as larks in the field.<\/p>\n

He just made it to his room before he broke down. Kneeling on the floor, he sobbed, hot angry tears burning his cheeks, until the overwhelming flood of emotions made him pound the ground in frustration. Damn him. Damn him<\/em>.<\/p>\n

When he came down to dinner, the stony silence that greeted him could only just cover the depressed mood in the house. Hoss and Joe were already seated at the dinner table. Slowly he made his way through the living room and tried not to notice the emptiness descending from all corners, the subtle changes in the air.<\/p>\n

Hoss looked up when he took his seat and gave him a tiny encouraging smile. Joe\u00b4s gaze stayed on his plate, but he asked the question that hadn\u00b4t had an answer, yet.<\/p>\n

“Did he say where he wanted to go to?”<\/p>\n

Ben, his eyes staring at the vacant chair in front of him, felt his insides turn to stone when he remembered the scene at the coach station. “No”, he answered shortly. “Let\u00b4s eat.”<\/p>\n

But neither Hoss nor Joe moved. They stared down at their plates, and after what seemed like an eternity, Hoss spoke softly.<\/p>\n

“He said he wanted to go to the sea…a long time ago…wanted to see countries…”<\/p>\n

Silence greeted his words. Of course they all knew that, had always known his thirst for knowledge.<\/p>\n

Finally Ben cleared his throat. “Let\u00b4s eat”, he whispered.<\/p>\n

After dinner he went out to the porch and sat down. Above him, the starry sky with its familiar constellations greeted him as it always had, steady and calm. He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, trying to find out what bothered him so much.<\/p>\n

The thing was, he couldn\u00b4t picture Adam on a ship. He couldn\u00b4t picture him sailing away. But neither could he picture him staying at the ranch. Or in Boston, that was. Try as he might, he couldn\u00b4t find a place in his mind where his restless son might find peace. And he wondered whether he himself was to blame. God, he wished Adam could somewhere find the peace he didn\u00b4t seem to find here. He wished he would find rest for his soul.<\/p>\n

After that, neither of them spoke of Adam again. They tried to settle into their daily routine and cope with the vacant chair at the dinner table, the horse in the barn and the empty room on the first floor.<\/p>\n

It took them weeks to get used to the changed roles in the family, but Ben thought they had coped better than he could have wished for. The time before Adam had gone had been marked with arguments, but he knew both of his sons missed their brother dearly.<\/p>\n

Joe was almost his usual energetic self by now, running and bouncing where he shouldn\u00b4t. Between Hoss and him, they had taken over Adam\u00b4s tasks and did well. Hoss, too, had adjusted well to the new conditions of him being the eldest brother, but then, Ben had not expected different. And now indeed, it seemed that there never had been another Cartwright, and he was glad about it. Seeing their lost and desperate faces every morning at breakfast was more than he could stand. All traces of the oldest son had been wiped out.<\/p>\n

It was a good thing.<\/p>\n

It had been a dry summer. The cattle had trouble finding water, and Ben, Hoss and Joe worked all day \u2013 every day \u2013 to get the much needed fluid up to the meadows, or find new water holes, dig new wells. By evening they were completely exhausted, their faces were burned, their minds empty. Hop Sing did his best to revive them, but even he couldn\u00b4t do more than sent them to bed.<\/p>\n

This evening was different, though. Loud and desperate shouting woke them from their stupor, and they didn\u00b4t need to run to the front door to know that the barn was aflame. Angry crackling flames greeted them, blazing with heat that made them stumble back. It hadn\u00b4t rained in weeks, and the wood was dry, the piles of hay a wonderful nourishment.<\/p>\n

Crouching low, they entered the building that was one blur of orange and red, and within seconds they choked, gasping for air that wasn\u00b4t there. The horses were frantic with fear, but with the help of the hands they got them out, unharmed, then stumbled out after them, coughing their lungs out. It was too late to save the barn, impossible to try and put out the flames in that heat, and all they could do now was wait and watch until all wood had been consumed by the hungry fire storm.<\/p>\n

Ben felt his sons next to him, trembling with exhaustion. He laid a hand on Hoss\u00b4 back, only to feel him flinch and tighten under his palm. Surprised he looked at him, but the expression on Hoss\u00b4s face was only one of shock as he stared at the blazing barn.<\/p>\n

Ben took his arms, shaking him hard to bring him back from wherever his mind had been. Hoss gulped, then turned pleading eyes on Ben.<\/p>\n

“His journal…his journal\u00b4s up there…I\u00b4ve gotta go…” He shook himself free and turned towards the barn, headless of the danger. Ben grabbed his hand, shaking with anger.<\/p>\n

“What do you think you\u00b4re doing? Stay here, you fool! Do you hear me? Do you want to kill yourself?” He yanked Hoss\u00b4 arm, but his son\u00b4s eyes were full of fear and desperate pleading.<\/p>\n

“I gotta go, his journal\u00b4s up there…Pa…his journal…” Hoss was fighting to get free now, and the harder Ben tried to hold him, the harder Hoss fought. Then all of a suddenly, a part of the roof came down, sending red-hot sparks towards the sky.<\/p>\n

Hoss froze. All fight went out of him, and when Ben released him, he slumped to the ground. Tears left white streaks on his soot-covered face as he stared at the barn. Ben knelt next to him, stroking his back. He was confused, but already an idea formed in his mind, one he was afraid to voice.<\/p>\n

“His journal….Adam\u00b4s…journal?” he asked hesitantly, not really wanting to know the answer.<\/p>\n

Hoss caught a sob and nodded absently. “Found it after he left…he\u00b4d forgotten…” He couldn\u00b4t seem to pull his eyes from the burning barn that suddenly had devastated more than just wood. Ben continued to stroke his shoulder in a reassuring way, but his mind was racing.<\/p>\n

Sharp shouts roused him from his thoughts. Glancing around, he suddenly noticed that one familiar figure that should have been with them was missing. And looking towards the barn where all the other hands were heading, he saw a lonely person stumble from the remains of the blazing building and break down before anyone could reach him.<\/p>\n

Damn him, Ben thought. Hadn\u00b4t Adam done enough damage to this family? He had left his family three years ago without caring whether he broke their hearts, and Ben had believed he had gone forever from their lives. Until now. His other foolish sons had tried to get themselves killed because of him. Damn him. What more damage would he wreak upon him?<\/p>\n

Of course it had been Joe who had stumbled from the barn, his face burned, his clothes almost aflame with heat in spite of his soaking them, the journal of his oldest brother clutched tight to his chest. They had needed one hour to bring him around, and he coughed his lungs out for a whole day after that. His eyebrows had been burned clean off, and his hair was singed in more than one place. And yet, he had smiled when he had woken. As had Hoss, for that matter, and not just because Joe hadn\u00b4t been harmed.<\/p>\n

The journal lay on the table in front of him. The writing on cover was burned beyond recognition, but the pages were still readable enough. He had considered burning it, but somehow couldn\u00b4t bring himself to do it after Joe had risked his life to get it. Now it lay in front of him, and Ben felt betrayed that after all his efforts to live his life without Adam he had left something that important behind. He reached out a hand and opened the soot-stained cover, but once his eyes fell on the name written inside, he closed it with a snap. No, he wasn\u00b4t ready for that, yet.<\/p>\n

Wearily getting up, he climbed the stairs and made his way down to Joe\u00b4s room, Adam\u00b4s journal in hand. Cautiously he opened the door to gaze inside, but Joe was awake, and staring out of the window. Strange enough, Hoss was perched on the bed, looking downcast. Ben could tell they had been speaking about Adam.<\/p>\n

Hoss got up when he entered and after spying the journal in his father\u00b4s hand, sat on a chair in a corner of the room farthest away from Ben. Joe, his head still turned towards the window, shortly glanced at his father, then closed his eyes, but not before Ben had seen the betraying marks of tears in his lashes.<\/p>\n

Slowly he sat down on the other chair, book held loosely on his lap, and tried to assess the silence in the room. Neither Hoss nor Joe would meet his eyes, but he couldn\u00b4t make out their mood. Did they blame him for pushing Adam away from them?<\/p>\n

“How long since you found it?” he asked quietly.<\/p>\n

Hoss lifted his head. “One year after he left. When I changed the boards…It was …it was hidden under one of the loose ones…” His eyes were clear as he looked back at Ben.<\/p>\n

“It helped me… To understand, I mean…what he felt. And to live…without him.”<\/p>\n

Ben felt his heart squeeze as he thought back to the first days after Adam had gone. The days when Joe and Hoss had been walking around like ghosts, lost in a stupor, completely beside themselves. He didn\u00b4t want that to happen again just because they had dug up Adam\u00b4s journal.<\/p>\n

“Didn\u00b4t I tell you I had only two sons in this family? Those who are here, beside me, in this house?” His hard gaze took in his sons, averting their eyes, looking miserable. He sighed.<\/p>\n

“Pa…”, Joe\u00b4s reluctant voice floated up from the pillows, “…I wrote him letters.”<\/p>\n

Ben\u00b4s head spun around at that, but Joe steadily went on. “I …wrote to him…I knew of course I couldn\u00b4t send them, I didn\u00b4t know where he was; so I kept them in my drawer. I just…couldn\u00b4t forget.”<\/p>\n

“I see.” He looked down to his hands that still held his oldest son\u00b4s journal.<\/p>\n

“What does it say?”<\/p>\n

Nobody answered, though, and when he looked up in surprise it was just in time to see Hoss cast down his eyes.<\/p>\n

“Hoss?” he questioned.<\/p>\n

His son swallowed before answering, but his voice was calm enough.<\/p>\n

“Perhaps you should read the first page, Pa.”<\/p>\n

Honouring the request in spite of how strange he thought it, Ben opened the old book, trying to avoid the signature on the first page, and leafed to the first entry. Wetting his lips, he started to read, and tried to ignore the rising swirl of emotions inside him:<\/p>\n

“I love my family. But, God help me, I must go. I\u00b4m suffocating, and the pain I see on my family\u00b4s faces is too much to bear. I have to go…” \u00b4<\/p>\n

His voice trailed off.<\/p>\n

“He loved us, Pa. Every single day.” Hoss\u00b4 voice broke through Ben\u00b4s thoughts. “He wrote about us, what we did, what we said, how it affected him. He wrote about everything.”<\/p>\n

Ben, his momentarily speechlessness overcome, glared at Hoss with fire in his eyes. “Did he write about how he treated you? How he argued with you, with me? About how he couldn\u00b4t stand to be in the same room with us? Have you forgotten what it was like? Speaking to him, not knowing whether he would just leave or cut your throat first?”<\/p>\n

Breathing heavily and trying to calm down, he could see Joe\u00b4s appalled face. His anger disappeared, only to be replaced by weariness. He was so tired of this.<\/p>\n

“I sorry”, he said. Absently he jumped through the pages, noting how worn they were.<\/p>\n

“How often did you read it? Hoss?” He could sense the mood in the room now, although he couldn\u00b4t understand it. Hoss was calm, content with a deep-down peace that Ben couldn\u00b4t trace. Joe was calm, too, but his calm was overshadowed by sadness. Why? Because of him? Because of Adam?<\/p>\n

“Every day. When I could…When I needed to…feel him…near me…To remember him.”<\/p>\n

Ben sighed. “I understand. Joe?” He wanted to know what his sons were thinking.<\/p>\n

Joe\u00b4s answer took longer to come. When he spoke, Ben had to strain himself to hear him.<\/p>\n

“I didn\u00b4t know it was there”, he whispered. “Only when I heard Hoss speaking of it, I learned it was there. I just had to get it.” Joe\u00b4s eyes simmered with tears again as he looked at Ben. “It was his…”<\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath. So, here it was, the thing he had been afraid of all the time. He didn\u00b4t know what to make of his own feelings. He remembered a time when he had been so proud of his sons, all his sons, so proud of Adam. But a lot of time had passed since then, and he had tried to forget what had once been; he had tried to forget the hurt, and the betrayal he felt, and the one who caused it.<\/p>\n

His feelings must have shown on his face, for he heard Hoss\u00b4 low voice from across the room, frightening him.<\/p>\n

“Why do you hate him so much?”<\/p>\n

Did he, then? Ben wasn\u00b4t sure. Did he hate Adam for leaving him? Did he hate him for never coming back? He didn\u00b4t know, but he just had to know what was in his sons mind.<\/p>\n

“Why don\u00b4t you?”<\/p>\n

“I sometimes did. Until… Until I read how it was like for him.” Hoss almost stumbled on the words; and Ben could just barely make out the hint of sorrow in his voice.<\/p>\n

“What was it like for him?” Ben was curious, no matter what his feelings were. He had prided himself once that he knew what was on his sons minds, but that confidence too had been gone, with Adam.<\/p>\n

“He choked here. We were here, his family, but it wasn\u00b4t enough. It wasn\u00b4t life, not for him, not his life. He…he said he felt like running with his head against a wall, day by day; that he had to break from the prison before his restlessness made him kill him and us. Couldn\u00b4t you see it, Pa? The unhappiness in his eyes every time he looked at you, at us? Could you see he was lost here?”<\/p>\n

Hoss must have seen the angry look in Ben\u00b4s eyes when his head snapped up, for he hurried to continue, his eyes a silent prayer to Ben that he would listen.<\/p>\n

“Pa, you were always around people you loved, and even when you lost them, you always knew where your place was. Can you imagine what it felt like for Adam to live here with us, thinking he had finally found his home, and then wake up one day and realize it wasn\u00b4t? Realize he was outside; that he was different, that his place and heart would never be fully here, on this ranch he had worked so hard for? It didn\u00b4t matter how much he loved us, Pa. His place wasn\u00b4t here.”<\/p>\n

Ben had closed his eyes while Hoss talked. He pictured Adam in his mind, as he remembered him, and knew in his heart that Hoss was right. Adam had always been different. Ben knew how much they were alike, thinking along the same lines in regard to injustice and equality. But somewhere inside Adam had always been a different side, one he had rarely seen but which made him think that Adam was in fact nobody\u00b4s son but a child of the winds, free-spirited and independent.<\/p>\n

“I know.” He whispered the words more to himself than to anyone else in the room, but Joe heard them anyway.<\/p>\n

“Do you love him, Pa?” he asked quietly, his green eyes surprisingly lucent in spite of the tears in his lashes.<\/p>\n

Was that the question? Ben swallowed the sobs that caught in his throat. Whether he loved him or not? God, he had always loved him, but it had been hard to live with that love \u2013 when it should have been simple. He almost smiled. Nothing concerning Adam had ever been simple. But he had loved him. He remembered. But now?<\/p>\n

“Yes”, he said, and when he lifted his eyes to meet Joe\u00b4s he could see the relief on his son\u00b4s face.<\/p>\n

Hoss stood up. He crossed the room until he was in front of Ben and gently took the old journal from his father\u00b4s hands. Ben didn\u00b4t miss the look that Joe sent Hoss, and willingly followed Hoss outside, knowing there was still something left unsaid.<\/p>\n

Hoss didn\u00b4t go far. He opened Ben\u00b4s own bedroom door and motioned him to sit down on a chair, then sat down himself. Cautiously he held the journal in his hands, gently, almost lovingly, caressing the surface. When he finally looked up, Ben was surprised to see tears glittering in his eyes.<\/p>\n

“I couldn\u00b4t…I couldn\u00b4t understand him…then”, Hoss\u00b4 voice was barely audible. He smiled sadly. “I thought he left us.”<\/p>\n

Ben opened his mouth to reply, but the look on Hoss\u00b4 face stopped him. His son got up then, and placed the book on the table between them, stroking the cover once more before he turned back to Ben.<\/p>\n

His voice was gone with the tears that silently ran down his cheeks.<\/p>\n

“You said you had only two sons. You were right.” He gripped Ben\u00b4s shoulder and reassuringly let his hand stay there for a moment. A tiny smile lifted the corners of his mouth.<\/p>\n

“He loved you so much, Pa”, he said. Then he left and softly closed the door behind him.<\/p>\n

Ben sat frozen. He didn\u00b4t dare to move. Finally, with the evening sun shining through his window, he opened Adam\u00b4s journal at the last entry, his hands shaking and his heart about to well over at the sight of Adam\u00b4s bold and distinctive hand.<\/p>\n

“February 28th …have been to see Doc Martin this morning. One year.”<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

The entries stopped there, almost two months before Adam had left. Ben leafed through the pages, but they were blank. All life had ended that day.<\/p>\n

Pressing the book to his heart, Ben buried his face in his hand and wept.<\/p>\n

The end<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: This was written after a discussion about what happened to Adam after his disappearance from the series. I heard some many depressing stories about the rest of the family; friends told me that at first Ben sometimes referred to Adam, but later on in the series told everyone that he had only two sons… So, this “two sons” was what set me off. I wondered what could have happened that Ben said something like this, and here it is, an “in-between Adam\u00b4s disappearance and …two sons.”<\/p>\n

( As always: English is not my first language, please be tolerant.)<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 K+ (4,200 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":3717,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,27],"tags":[15,17,16],"class_list":["post-12623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-whi","tag-ben","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-27-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1555,"today_views":1},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/ontheporch.jpg?fit=400%2C320&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5454,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5454","url_meta":{"origin":12623,"position":0},"title":"Autumn’s Surprise (by deansgirl)","author":"deansgirl","date":"October 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Autumn is setting around the Ponderosa and with it comes a very dear and long awaited surprise.\u00a0 \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (1,180 words) Autumn Series, links to all the stories within the series are included.","rel":"","context":"In "Chaps and Spurs"","block_context":{"text":"Chaps and Spurs","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=39"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":10742,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10742","url_meta":{"origin":12623,"position":1},"title":"Battle of the Ponderosa — aka Springtime Chaos (by BluewindFarm)","author":"BluewindFarm","date":"March 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 A plea for help turns into an urgent ride home, and a situation no one foresaw. Rating:\u00a0 K (1,615 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/ponderosapine.jpg?fit=270%2C404&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14457,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14457","url_meta":{"origin":12623,"position":2},"title":"Short Trip Home (by Arien)","author":"Arien","date":"July 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: What could possibly happen to the Cartwright boys between home and Virginia City? Rating: K+ \u00a0\u00a0Word Count: 908","rel":"","context":"In "Adam Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Adam Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1005"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Summer-story-pics.png?fit=700%2C563&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Summer-story-pics.png?fit=700%2C563&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Summer-story-pics.png?fit=700%2C563&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Summer-story-pics.png?fit=700%2C563&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13013,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13013","url_meta":{"origin":12623,"position":3},"title":"The Dead Mule Story (by Robin)","author":"profrobinw","date":"May 5, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 With these three sons, this tale should never have been told.\u00a0 They're your sons, Ben. Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (1,225 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15678,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15678","url_meta":{"origin":12623,"position":4},"title":"Valentine Nightmares (by Hart4Ben)","author":"Hart4Ben","date":"February 14, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0A light-hearted look at the Cartwright men struggling with the upcoming Valentine's Day dance. Rating: K+\u00a0 Word Count: 667","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15006,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=15006","url_meta":{"origin":12623,"position":5},"title":"Pieces Trilogy (by Starlite)","author":"starlite","date":"September 14, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Part One:\u00a0One of Ben Cartwright's sons is missing, will they ever learn what happened to him?\u00a0\u00a0Rated:\u00a0 G Part Two:\u00a0\u00a0More in the continuing saga of Missing Pieces.\u00a0\u00a0Rating:\u00a0 G Part Three:\u00a0\u00a0The conclusion to Missing Pieces.\u00a0\u00a0Rated:\u00a0 PG Word Count:\u00a0 25,225\u00a0","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/Gabrielle-1.jpg?fit=600%2C450&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/Gabrielle-1.jpg?fit=600%2C450&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/Gabrielle-1.jpg?fit=600%2C450&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12623","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12623"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12623\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3717"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12623"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12623"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12623"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}