{"id":12670,"date":"2008-06-13T19:57:52","date_gmt":"2008-06-13T23:57:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12670"},"modified":"2026-02-16T14:13:54","modified_gmt":"2026-02-16T19:13:54","slug":"the-days-between-by-calim11","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12670","title":{"rendered":"The Days Between (by Calim11)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 <\/strong>Adam contemplates another death, and the prospect of giving the eulogy.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 K+\u00a0 (13,240 words)<\/p>\n

The Days Between<\/strong><\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright stood quietly looking out the window as the sun set on another day. The wisps of clouds that blew through the day still lingered, catching the fading rays like a giant pussywillow whipped across the sky.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rubbing red-rimmed eyes, he sighed. Tomorrow was coming, sooner now rather than later, and he dreaded it. Mrs. Hastings had pressed his good suit and it hung waiting for him on the wardrobe, taunting him, watching him, making him feel worse than he already did. Turning from the window, he eyed it. Over his lifetime, he\u2019d had to wear one like it often, so often in fact that he hated the look of it, hated the feel of it, because it only represented one thing to him, one lasting thing that no one could flee from on this earth \u2013 it meant death.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dropping his head into a trembling hand, he wondered why someone else he knew and loved had died. Yes, he understood that all things ended and that it happened to everyone, but he was just so tired of it all. Sometimes he even considered that these things happened because<\/u><\/em> they knew him \u2013 his mothers, friends, relatives. But that wasn\u2019t logical and today his mind needed logic to sort out all the feelings that were colliding with each other in his head and heart. Life was finite, and friends and family were just around for a short time, plain and simple.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cToo short,\u201d he muttered, running a hand through mussed hair and raising a glance to the view outside, remembering a time long ago when he thought life was back on track, when things didn\u2019t seem so dark and his heart beat lightly for the first time that he could remember.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She\u2019d had golden hair and eyes so blue they rivaled the sky and her smile filled him with happiness. He was so very glad his father married Inger and she\u2019d joined them on their trek west. Smiling for no reason and not minding chopping wood had become an everyday occurrence for him and it had all been because of her. He finally had a mother, someone he didn\u2019t know he\u2019d been missing until she came into their lives and loved him like he was her own. And he\u2019d returned it, never thinking he could love someone as much as his father. Then she\u2019d given him a brother. Well that was just the best thing in the world. He had a real family for the first time and he was truly happy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The smile that played across his lips faded as his wandering gaze settled on the swaying flags affixed to the dozen or so masts of the ships at harbor, and visions of a way station came suddenly to mind, arrows thudding against wood and loud explosions from rifles returning fire threatening to deafen him. Stepping back, he sat down heavily on the bed and grabbed the bedpost as the feel of baby Hoss in his lap came back to him and he could see his newfound mother studying him with such love just before she picked up a rifle. Pride washed through him at that moment, pride that this woman was willing to defend him, a boy not of her flesh, and his love grew.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The whistle of an arrow1<\/sup> sailing through an open window made him cringe. He heard the thud as it made contact followed by her sharp intake of breath. Inger never saw him looking at her as she fell, his eyes locked on the ever widening blotch of red on her back as he called for his father. Ben turned and panic consumed him as he lifted her off the floor and into his arms. Adam heard her last words for them, saw the tears on his father\u2019s face and knew what was coming, and all he could do was hold Hoss tighter, who blissfully slept ignorant of the sudden loss of his mother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Something wet hit Adam\u2019s hand and he glanced down as more tears fell, finding it odd that after all these years the loss of Inger still made him cry.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Standing and wiping his face, he began to pace, knowing he\u2019d never be able to stop the memories now that he\u2019d opened that particular box, not this day anyway, for this day led to the next when he would find himself standing once again by an open grave hearing words spoken that couldn\u2019t possibly represent the person that had been.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taking a calming breath, he ran a hand across his chest then sat down at the desk to stare blankly at the empty sheet of paper before him, feeling the need to write something down because he knew his mind would be too stuffed with emotion and memory to say much of anything that made sense. And he had to make sense tomorrow; he had to say the words that would express his love. Tomorrow he had to give a eulogy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Eulogy — such an odd word, meant to give praise to one who had passed on. He\u2019d given far too many in his life, far too many words spoken that would capture the heart and soul of the person in the space of a few moments. It all seemed so trivial, those words, because that would be all that was left of a great man\u2019s life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rubbing his face again, he stared back out the window, noticing the sun had completely disappeared and the last fading orange streaks had turned pink . . . and even now those were fading from sight. Soon it would be dark and the hours would fly until morning rose bright and loud overhead. How he dreaded that moment when he couldn\u2019t push it aside, couldn\u2019t mis-remember what that day would bring, for it would be a greater sorrow than these last weeks had been.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sounds of a collision brought his attention to the street below, eyes raking the cobblestones to find two carriages with their wheels locked and one of the horses down. He should go down there . . . should help . . . but the sight led him back to the devastation that befell his family that late afternoon long before when a horse stumbled and took from them their ordered life as Marie2<\/sup> lay dying in the Nevada dirt. Another wife, another mother gone, leaving them to face the world without that special smile that graced their days for so short a time. Leaning back, he closed burning eyes, trying to forget the lonely days that followed, the distance their father put between them, then his disappearance, leaving him and his brothers alone and wondering what would become of them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He shook himself and the scene below came back to a horse being righted and those carriage wheels unlocked and all seemed well as the participants parted, leaving him with no other excuse to put off what he was supposed to do.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTilting at windmills,\u201d he sighed, smoothing out the blank page before him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rubbing his temples, he remembered another time when windmills took him to a woman3<\/sup> he\u2019d wanted for his wife and woke up to find her missing. Until the day he\u2019d left, he\u2019d ridden those rocky crags, just in case she\u2019d returned and was waiting for him. Everyone told him she was gone, taken by the fever she\u2019d tried to cure, but he could feel her there, could feel her presence as he sat by the river, her memory always bringing such loss over what could\u2019ve been, what should\u2019ve been.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Another heartbreak. Another life lesson he could\u2019ve done without.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pushing her face away, he lit the small lamp on the desk then just stared at it. What did he need a lamp for anyway? No words came to him; no meaningful turn of phrase registered. Nothing was there except what a waste and he was pretty damn sure no one wanted to hear that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGet on with it!\u201d he ordered himself, slapping hands on the desk wanting so to dismiss all this gloom, all these memories when a broken voice came to him whispering his name and asking why.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His eyes searched the deepening shadows for the voice, trying to stave off the blackness that rose so swiftly with this particular memory. The winsome Delphine4 <\/sup>had looked to him for guidance and he\u2019d failed, failed to protect her, to make her safe. Trapping eyes behind hard hands, he winced at the echoing gunshots that marked the end of a certain time for him as he\u2019d hunted down her killer, his best friend, her husband. Even after all these years, his shoulder ached, still reminding him of all he\u2019d lost in that one afternoon.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust someone else gone,\u201d he muttered trying to quell such morose thoughts that danced about his active mind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If only he could shut them out, control them like he controlled everything else. Nothing he ever did completely rid him of these thoughts and feelings and it plagued him through all the days of his life. And now it had happened again. Another life lost; another family member gone and he was all alone to deal with it, all the way across this great land, far from home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A streetlamp was lit and a flash across the room caught Adam\u2019s attention, touching his lips with a faint smile as a photograph came into view. A bit of humor found him as he remembered the difficult task of maintaining the stillness necessary for a clear print as the bawdy joke that created those smiles was fresh in their minds. As soon as the photographer gave the all clear, their laughter boomed throughout the room. His vision blurred as he desperately tried to recall the joke that had so tickled them both and came up with nothing but a vast wall of sorrow that kept everything out, including the words he needed to say tomorrow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDamnit,\u201d he cursed, rubbing his forehead and glaring at the empty page before him. How did one put to paper all that he was, all that he\u2019d been without missing that one all-important thing that captured his life? How could the history of one\u2019s existence ever be re-told in a just a few short statements?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He looked back toward the photograph. \u201cHelp me, Grandfather,\u201d he whispered, dropping the quill and moving arms protectively across his chest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Abel Stoddard, proud Captain of the sea, had asked him to deliver his eulogy, asked him to impart to the gathered what a tough old cuss he was, and he\u2019d accepted with honor, for no other reason than he\u2019d loved him. And now he was gone, this last tie to his mother, and he felt lost.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A sickness had pervaded Abel\u2019s house and Adam felt it still within himself. It was a form of influenza, Doctor Padric Herriman claimed, bad enough to knock Adam off his feet for a week but deadly to Abel who\u2019d already been suffering from a heart ailment. So when Padric called upon him to sit by Abel\u2019s side, to share his last hours with his grandfather, he\u2019s dragged himself from his sick bed to keep him company. It was a duty he wouldn\u2019t shirk, no matter that he wasn\u2019t eating or sleeping much himself, just so he could be there for him one last time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For hours they spoke of his mother and times past and how much Abel enjoyed his grandson\u2019s time there and hoped he wouldn\u2019t miss him too much when he was gone. \u2018Your eyes,\u2019 Abel said in those last moments. \u2018Your eyes so like your mother\u2019s. They tell me everything that\u2019s in your soul. Go home, dear Adam. Go home to your Ponderosa and smile at each morning dawn, for that day will be the best day of your life.\u2019 Abel then closed those eyes as Adam felt his hand grow lax in his grip. He\u2019d cried then as he hadn\u2019t done in years, feeling a hand on his back and for one brief instant hoped it was his father but knew it couldn\u2019t be.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When would he be given a respite from this torment? How could God be so unforgiving to plague him with constant death of those he loved? Growling as he wiped at his eyes, Adam forced back all the memories and picked up the quill, letting it hover over the page. For a man who knew so many words, none were forthcoming, so he turned his gaze once again out the window and onto the night catching the wayward tail of a shooting star as it streaked across the heavens. A vision came of the first one he\u2019d seen from the back of a wagon as he lay nestled in his father\u2019s arms. \u2018Make a wish, son\u2019, came his father\u2019s deep voice and he\u2019d wished for a moment of joy and happiness to replace the sadness that radiated out from them both. It was a child\u2019s wish, a wish that came true but never lasted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Perhaps it was asking too much; perhaps each person only had a quota of happiness throughout their life and nothing more. Perhaps it just was what it was and no matter how you worried it, would always be the same.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust do it!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Getting angry with himself usually worked and he dipped the quill and began to write whatever came to him, whatever flowed from the ink. It wouldn\u2019t do to read it now but let it finish on its own as if someone else was writing because he couldn\u2019t face it this night, couldn\u2019t face the words that appeared. Tomorrow would be hard enough.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright hesitated before the door. This was the house where he and Elizabeth had lived for so short a time; lived and loved and he never thought he would be standing here again. It all looked the same \u2013 the weathered brick, the white trim, the ship\u2019s bell mounted on the awning. It all looked the same . . . even the black mourning wreath affixed to the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m too late,\u201d he mumbled, remembering a similar wreath from long ago.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nothing much entered Ben\u2019s thoughts those first minutes after Elizabeth died, those first hours that stretched into interminable days of grief, except the black wreath hanging from this door, its satin ribbons fluttering in the winds from the sea as if waving goodbye to his dreams, to his love, to his life. Now, many years later, the feelings returned full force at the very sight of this evidence that death once again marched on this house. He hung his head in sadness over the loss of such a great man and a great friend to his son. Saying a quick prayer, Ben quietly knocked, receiving no reply.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This was the second time this evening he\u2019d stood on a porch and received no reply – the first had been Adam\u2019s own house just down the street. It should have come as no surprise that those doors remained shut since the windows were dark and a pile of newspapers spilled across the stoop. Gathering up his things, Ben walked to the familiar porch of Captain Abel Stoddard. And from where he stood now, he glanced at the windows draped with black bunting and swore he saw a slight flicker against the glass. Trying the door, he found, much to his surprise, it open before him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Quietly stepping inside, Ben scanned the familiar surroundings and was hit with an onslaught of memory that made him step back as if physically pushed. Her laugh, her smile, those eyes . . . those eyes Adam inherited that spoke volumes, though not a word needed to be said. Sweet Elizabeth . . . how he missed her still even after all these years.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dropping the bags, Ben hastily closed the door against the evening chill and undid his muffler, hanging it and his coat on the standing rack. The sound of a clock striking midnight startled him. He\u2019d no idea what time it was, intent only on getting here to be with his son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It had been a crisp fall day when Roy Coffee brought Adam\u2019s telegram to the house with whispered words of condolences. Frightened for his son\u2019s health, he\u2019d ripped it open, his open distress changing to one of great sadness. \u2018GRANDFATHER SUFFERED HEART ATTACK. STOP. WON\u2019T SEE WINTER. STOP. WILL SEND LETTER. STOP. ADAM. STOP.\u2019 The message was clear and short but Ben knew his son, knew he\u2019d never ask him to come, never tell him he was needed. He left that very day, bothering only to send a comforting telegram in return. He wouldn\u2019t let his boy face this alone. So much had been lost in his young life and it was his duty as a father to make sure offered support was available as Adam had supported him so many times in the past. Too many times.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But he was too late; the Captain had moved on and Adam had been left alone. But now he was here and would offer whatever he could.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So late the hour, he dare not call out, so crept up the stairs treading lightly as he peeked into each room finding them all empty until only two remained. Skirting Abel\u2019s, he stood silently in front of Elizabeth\u2019s, the room they\u2019d shared as newlyweds; the room their lives began in; the room she died in and Adam was born.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seeing that it was ajar, he eased it open, his vision beholding a beautiful woman sitting on the bed smiling at him as the morning sun blazed through the window. He blinked and she was gone replaced with a dark room holding a single light that flickered near the window. As his eyes adjusted, Ben made out a shadowed figure draped over a desk and silently approached, recognizing the familiar features lit by the dancing flame and wondered why his boy wasn\u2019t in bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Peering over his shoulder, Ben could see words written beneath Adam\u2019s hand and leaned forward resting a hand on his son\u2019s broad back without thinking. Brought instantly awake, Adam practically fell from the chair, Ben barely catching him as he tipped to the side.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve gotcha,\u201d said Ben as he hung on, hearing his son trying to catch a startled breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gripping the desk, Adam worked to get unsteady feet beneath him then looked up into a face he hadn\u2019t seen in six years, unsure if what he was seeing was true or just some haunting dream.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI came as soon as I could. I\u2019m sorry I\u2019m late,\u201d came Ben\u2019s answer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In the darkened room, Ben smiled at his boy and then found long arms wrapped about him hanging on for dear life. Automatically clutching his boy to him, Ben\u2019s heart broke as Adam\u2019s sorrow filled cries filled the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all right, son. You\u2019re not alone. I\u2019m here. I\u2019m here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The morning light shifted through the familiar room and arced across the bed from the slit in the drawn curtains, falling across Adam\u2019s face. Ben looked down upon him, better able to see him now in the light of day, noting his beard did nothing to hide his haggard appearance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Six years. My, that was a long time no matter how you looked at it, and it had been just last month, all those years before Adam left for Boston. Oh, numerous letters marked their time apart but neither had had time to travel to the other. Now the Captain was gone, the reason for Adam returning to Boston.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Would he come home now?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Would he dare ask the question?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lost in thought as he stood there gazing at his son, Ben missed the first knock behind him but was startled from his musings when the second knock was followed by a creaking of the door as it slowly opened. He spun, hand automatically reaching for the gun that wasn\u2019t there, as a kindly face peered around the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh!\u201d came to him as Ben\u2019s eyes settled on an older gentleman with tousled gray hair, spectacles and a generous mustache that draped over his mouth. Grasping the door, Ben moved out into the hall and eased it shut behind him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMay I help you?\u201d he asked of the man who now smiled up at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m Padric Herriman,\u201d he gave Ben holding out his hand. \u201cI\u2019m . . . I was Captain Stoddard\u2019s physician,\u201d he explained.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d Ben hastily said gently taking the man\u2019s offered hand afraid he might crush it in his grip. \u201cI\u2019m Ben Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s father,\u201d Padric said as if he\u2019d known him his entire life. \u201cHow very nice ta meet ya, Mr. Cartwright. Yer boy\u2019s been a Godsend for the Captain these last years and especially these last weeks when he took ill. I\u2019m so sorry ta have ta meet ya under these circumstances.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe Captain was a good man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAye, he was,\u201d Padric said with a nod.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was hoping to get here before he left us,\u201d Ben explained. \u201cWhen did he pass?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEarly Monday mornin\u2019,\u201d Padric informed him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMonday? But that was just . . .\u201d His voice trailed off as Padric nodded again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam was here along with meself and Mrs. Hastings,\u201d Padric continued. \u201cIt was a sad day for us all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I had more time,\u201d he tried to explain. \u201cAdam said he\u2019d had a heart attack.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, aye, he did. But it \u2018twas the illness that hastened \u2018is departure from this good earth.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIllness?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAye. \u2018Twas goin\u2019 around and came inta this house. Adam was quite ill \u2018imself for a time but came ta the Captain once he was called,\u201d Padric explained, noticing worry lines increase on Ben\u2019s face. \u201cOh, don\u2019t worry, Mr. Cartwright. Young Adam is a strong lad. He\u2019ll be fit afore long.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m sorry I didn\u2019t make it in time to say goodbye. The Captain meant more than you know to me and my son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe all knew how proud he was of young Adam, how he\u2019d taken over the business and made it better than afore. Spoke often of \u2018im and you, Mr. Cartwright, and his darlin\u2019 Elizabeth. He was right proud of all ya\u2019d achieved out west.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben raised a brow, having always wondered about that. \u201cHis lovely daughter gave me a good son. I\u2019m so very glad they could spend the Captain\u2019s last days in each other\u2019s company to ease his passing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd it did. The Captain was very pleased ta have part of \u2018is Elizabeth next ta \u2018im as he said goodbye. But dear Adam ran \u2018imself inta the ground these last weeks. I tried ta git \u2018im ta rest but he\u2019d hear none of it. A stubborn boy ya have there, Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t I know it,\u201d Ben answered with a knowing nod.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAye. It took both meself and Mrs. Hasting ta manhandle \u2018im inta bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chuckling, Ben remembered more than once that particular chore. \u201cIt\u2019s never easy with him but he means well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, aye, and delivers he does. Yes, he does.\u201d Padric nodded then looked back up to Ben. \u201cWell, I just came by ta tell Adam the service\u2019ll be at 1:00 pm at the Wayfarer\u2019s Chapel. He was expected ta give the eulogy but if he\u2019s not up ta snuff, I can always step in or Reverend Allison can as well. He just needs ta let us know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll make sure he knows.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Padric smiled and once again stuck out his hand, Ben grasping it. \u201cTwas a fine pleasure meetin\u2019 ya, Mr. Cartwright, even though this is a sad occasion. We\u2019ll be waitin\u2019 at 1:00pm. I\u2019ll see meself out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll be there,\u201d Ben answered, watching the man make his way down the hall and down the stairs, hearing the door shut. Perhaps he should lock that door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Moving back into the room, he was pleased that Adam still slept, his sudden worry about his health lessened by the report of the doctor. Now that he knew, he could see the telltale signs of sickness \u2013 a light sheen of sweat on his face, the gray color to the skin and would no doubt see those beautiful eyes lacking their usual shine.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Settling the blanket closer to Adam\u2019s chin, Ben moved toward the window and peeked through the curtain, looking out at the familiar landscape, remembering he and Elizabeth\u2019s long walks on the wharf, guessing the port of call each ship had made as it docked in the harbor then questioning the sailors as they disembarked. She was right eighty percent of the time and he marveled at how her eyes shone with delight at each new story the men told, each new picture they painted of distant lands. How delighted she\u2019d been to discover Ben\u2019s dream of moving west, trying his hand at taming an untouched land with her by his side. The thought sent shivers through him as they\u2019d sat night after night downstairs or in this room planning their journey, a journey that she would not complete.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He glanced over his shoulder as Adam moved, snuggling down further into his pillow, holding the blanket close, and tried to fight off the memory of that dreadful day when a new life was awakened just as his old one disappeared right before his eyes. Distraught, Ben failed to notice the gift God had given him even as he\u2019d taken away his reason for living, and drifted in mourning until the Captain set him straight. \u2018He\u2019s her<\/u><\/em> son. Never forget that. Never forget that she still lives on in him and you\u2019ve no right to throw that away, no matter how you feel. Pick yourself up, Cartwright, and take the responsibility for what she left you or I\u2019ll do it for you!\u2019 Harsh words to a splintered soul but greatly needed and later, much appreciated.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain, please tell our Elizabeth hello for me and remind her how much I love her. I\u2019m sure she knows but it\u2019s nice to hear once in awhile.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled then and turned toward the desk, his gaze falling once again upon the page he\u2019d not been able to see last night. Hot tears pricked at his eyes over the poem written, feeling Adam\u2019s love for his grandfather in their meaning and wishing he could keep further loss from his life. But he could no more do that than keep the moon from rising each night.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Replacing the page, he sighed, sighed for all the times he\u2019d stood in the same place his son would stand this afternoon and didn\u2019t envy him that position. It was never easy to move through life and have to leave people behind, and it shouldn\u2019t be easy, but he knew Adam had built a wall to protect himself from these events, learned to control his emotions to keep him safe. But today he was tired and ill and a little bit off course and doubted he would be so controlled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re really here,\u201d came from behind and Ben turned to find those eyes, Elizabeth\u2019s eyes, looking right at him, noticing they were<\/u><\/em> dark and dull, their normal spark hidden.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m really here,\u201d Ben answered with a gentle smile as he sat on the side of the bed running a hand down his boy\u2019s arm. \u201cI\u2019m sorry I\u2019m late.\u201d He watched Adam close those eyes again then reach for him. He grasped the searching hand tightly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou couldn\u2019t know,\u201d Adam answered, wiping at his eyes with the heel of his hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo tell me,\u201d Ben began with a slight smirk, \u201chow long have you had a beard?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sniffled and forced a grin onto his face. \u201cAlmost since the time I arrived. I\u2019d gotten tired of shaving twice a day. Besides, it keeps me warm in the winter.\u201d His eyes opened then and the grin swelled into a frail smile then a full blown one that touched Ben\u2019s heart, a slight flicker returning to those eyes. \u201cI\u2019m so glad you\u2019re here, Pa. I didn\u2019t think . . .\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t sure I could get through this one by myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re never by yourself, son. I\u2019m always with you, wherever you go and so is your mother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not the same,\u201d he admitted, his smile leaving, Ben watching emotion play across his face. \u201cI needed . . .\u00a0 It\u2019s just nice to have you near. I\u2019ve missed you. I\u2019ve . . . I\u2019ve missed . . . everything,\u201d came the broken voice as he tried to stop the tears and failed miserably. \u201cOh, Pa, why\u2019d he have to die?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben quickly pulled Adam into an embrace holding him tightly. \u201cI don\u2019t know, son. I just don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He just held on, listening to his boy\u2019s heartache as he rocked him, remembering that question being asked many times before and never having an answer. It was all so easy when Adam was young and Ben heard his first words, watched him take his first steps then listened as he read to him from his primer for the first time \u2013 all simple things in the life of a child but monumental to a parent.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But then harsh realities slipped in and all the losses his son had faced throughout his early life raised their ugly heads. The loss of his own mother and Hoss\u2019 and Joe\u2019s; young friends killed on the wagon train as they made their journey west; running onto the remains of pioneers who didn\u2019t make it across the desert and victims of hostile Indians. They\u2019d gone hungry, been cold, and fallen ill without benefit of a doctor, all because Ben ripped them away from civilization to follow a dream, a dream that almost killed them, a dream that had taken Adam from his childhood.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now, Abel was gone, the last remaining link to Elizabeth, the man who\u2019d helped shape his life as a young man then offered him more as an adult. As far as Ben knew, Adam had been happy and successful, and for that he was glad, for there was nothing he wanted more for his sons than their happiness and he\u2019d do anything he could to make it so.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For now, he simply slid in beside Adam and rested his chin against the dark hair enjoying the closeness, having missed their after dinner talks and discussions of politics and the latest contracts and what they should do about Joe. He\u2019d simply missed him. Having spent his first five years as just the two of them, they were closer than most brothers and could read each other without saying a word, a closeness born of necessity on a bouncing seat of a wagon crossing this great country.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI love you, son, and everything is going to be all right,\u201d he whispered kissing Adam\u2019s head, feeling a hand grasp his shirt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He smiled then as thoughts of those cold nights they\u2019d bundled up together for warmth in the middle of nowhere came back to him. It seemed he always had to disentangle that small hand from his shirt as if Adam was afraid he\u2019d disappear like so many before him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou keep holding on, Adam,\u201d he whispered as he brushed his boy\u2019s hair off his forehead, realizing he was drifting back to sleep in the comfort of his father\u2019s arms. \u201cI don\u2019t ever want you to let go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He kissed him again and looked toward the window hoping the Captain had found Elizabeth and they were both smiling down upon them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have your papers?\u201d Ben asked, watching Adam fiddle with his string tie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIn my pocket,\u201d he answered then frustrated pulled at the offending item about his neck, feeling Ben\u2019s hands still his own and take up the effort to get it just right.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you ready?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d came the honest answer as he rolled his shoulders to sit his jacket just right as his father finished with his tie. \u201cYou\u2019d think after all the practice I\u2019ve had doing these things, I\u2019d be more at ease.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben heard the sadness behind those words and laid a hand on Adam\u2019s back. \u201cIt\u2019ll soon be over and then we can get you back home and into bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam glanced over. \u201cHome here or home home?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben held his gaze, so wanting to say home to the Ponderosa but refrained. \u201cWhere you are is<\/u><\/em> home, son,\u201d he answered, helping Adam ease into his coat, handing him his hat and gloves. \u201cReady?\u201d he asked again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam just sighed and nodded, settling his hat and tightening his muffler as he stepped out the door. Pulling up the collar of his coat, he glanced toward the Wayfarer\u2019s Chapel not three blocks away and the steady stream of people headed in that direction. Swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, he started out with Ben following closely behind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Staring straight ahead, he felt every bit of the cold breeze that bounced against him off the waters to his right; gulls called from above and flags whipped in time with the shifting winds and he swore he heard his grandfather\u2019s voice calling from the docks. Steps faltering, he so wanted to turn and investigate but then huddled further down into his coat and continued on, all the while feeling his father\u2019s comforting hand on his back then his arm as they soon found themselves standing in front of the open chapel doors.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gazing upward at the steeple and the large bell that resided there, Adam remembered being amazed that he could still hear its toll far out in the bay and beyond when he and Abel sailed up the coast on one of his old mate\u2019s ships when he\u2019d been in college. \u2018The sea gets in your veins, laddie,\u2019 he\u2019d told him, \u2018and you\u2019re never rid of it\u2019.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNever rid of it,\u201d Adam echoed as he glanced out at the bay, the sharp breeze filled with the smells of the sea wafting about them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to do this you know,\u201d Ben informed him as he caught his son\u2019s eye, seeing sadness tempered with determination cross his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes I do, Pa,\u201d came the answer as he took a deep breath then moved up the steps to duck inside, doffing his hat and gloves, immediately faced with Reverend Gregory Allison, who placed a conciliatory hand on his shoulder and a whispered word in his ear. Ben stood quietly, noticing the familiarity between the two and wondered what he\u2019d missed these last years, knowing it could probably fill up over a dozen volumes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Their talking done, Adam moved away, Ben following to the front pew, noting the vast amount of people that crowded the small chapel and smiled inwardly. The majority of them were old salts that had traveled the world either with the Captain or because of him and came home to tell the tale. He could include himself in that group and did so with pride.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d he heard, bringing his attention back to a man standing next to Adam. \u201cPa, this is Gerald Cripton. He\u2019s a partner in grandfather\u2019s business.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben held out his hand. \u201cVery nice to meet you, Mr. Cripton. Adam\u2019s written of you often. I\u2019m just sorry we had to meet on such a sad occasion.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe pleasure is mine, Mr. Cartwright,\u201d Gerald answered, taking the outstretched hand. \u201cMay I please introduce my wife, Nora, and our daughter, Willa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPleased to meet you,\u201d came Ben\u2019s gracious reply as he grinned at little Willa who\u2019d buried her face in her mother\u2019s skirt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow that you\u2019re here, Mr. Cartwright,\u201d Gerald began, \u201cperhaps you can talk your stubborn son into taking a rest. What with his and the Captain\u2019s illness, I\u2019m afraid he\u2019s about to keel over.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d came from Adam as he shrugged out of his coat and took a seat next to Nora.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what he always says,\u201d Ben whispered as Gerald gave him a knowing nod.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve heard it before as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They both nodded sagely and sat, a quiet falling about the room as Reverend Allison closed the doors then stepped up to the pulpit, laying out his Bible, his gaze taking in Adam before beginning to roam the assembled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s so very nice to see all of you here as we bid farewell to one of our own – Captain Abel Stoddard. It is a testament to what he meant to us all that so many of you chose to pay your last respects on this day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe was a tough man, a man who brooked no excuses if there was something else that could be done. He brought strength and hope to those who thought they were lost, and love and loyalty to those who dared to get to know him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMany of you sailed with the Captain and knew he expected his orders to be followed to the letter but would offer a hand, if needed, to get you through. Yes, he was a hard man but he had a heart larger than this room. And that we will miss, for there are few today who can command both a ship and our hearts with one smile, with one look.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cToday is a sad day, a day that will be remembered in this town as the day a candle flickered no more. But those left behind, those who basked in that candlelight became better because of it.\u201d His gaze swung toward Adam whose eyes were closed, seeing Ben\u2019s comforting hand resting on his leg. The Reverend took a breath, knowing how difficult this was for Adam, seeing the strain of the Captain\u2019s passing clearly evident upon his pale face. No matter. Man did what he had to when called upon.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe Captain had one final request. He wanted his grandson to deliver his eulogy and he\u2019s graciously accepted. Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Looking up at the sound of his name, Adam climbed slowly to his feet and mounted the steps toward the Reverend, who once again placed a hand on his shoulder. \u201cI\u2019ll be glad to continue if you\u2019d rather not,\u201d he whispered to him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cThis was his last wish and I\u2019ll see it through.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben watched the exchange and worried for his son, having felt him shiver from the cold, exhaustion written plainly in his every move but knew nothing would keep him from doing this one last thing for his grandfather. So he settled in, ready to help if necessary, studying his boy\u2019s sluggish movements as he reached into his jacket to pull out two folded pieces of paper, making a great effort to smooth out the wrinkles as he laid them on the pulpit. He heard him clear his throat then watched him move dark eyes toward the assembled then settle on him. Ben gave him a smile, hoping his mere presence would encourage him somehow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Locking onto those warm brown eyes, reading their message of undying love, Adam found some inner strength he\u2019d long thought fled and grabbed at it. God may have taken his grandfather but He\u2019d given him his father in his time of need and he would be forever thankful for that. Giving out a lopsided grin, Adam ran a hand along the papers again and took a breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy . . .\u201d His voice caught — he hoped the ache that pounded through his heart would simmer down until he could get through this — and cleared his throat again. \u201cMy first impression of my grandfather was as a stern taskmaster who was dressing down a Captain of the sailing vessel, BRACKEN, in full view of God and everyone. I was shocked, to say the least, that this retired man of the sea was standing toe-to-toe with a full blown officer and repeatedly poking him in the chest with a very sturdy finger. The look on the officer\u2019s face was odd, for no trace of animosity existed. All I saw was fear.\u201d A small chuckle rose from the assembled. \u201cI was scared too at the tone and volume that echoed about the wharf and wondered what I\u2019d gotten myself into by accepting his kind invitation to stay with him as I went to school here in Boston.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He grinned then at the memory, noticing an older gentleman squirming in his seat near the back, a few men poking him in the arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI literally turned tail and began to sneak away when that commanding voice stopped me flat. \u2018 Mister\u2019, he called, \u2018and yes, I mean you, turn around and face me!\u2019 What could I do? That voice reminded me of my father, so I whipped around like a good soldier. There\u2019s no defying that voice . . . either of them.\u201d He threw a small lopsided grin at Ben, who traded looks with Gerald and merely shrugged trying to ignore the mirth coming from the assembled. \u201cBut as I got to know my grandfather, I realized those rough edges were more for appearance sake than actual day-to-day reality; his being gruff was how he told you he loved you . . . and he loved me as I loved him \u2013 warts and all.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOver the years, he taught me many things. He listened to a young man\u2019s dreams and desires and helped me over some rough patches. And when it came time to leave, to go home to my father and brothers, he walked me to the train station, tall and proud, showing off his grandson to all those who passed. This strong, sometimes belligerent man hugged me tightly and didn\u2019t bother to wipe away his own tears but very gently took mine and said to me, \u2018go home, laddie. Go home and make your life your own, for you\u2019ve earned it. Prove to me that you\u2019re as strong and stalwart as I am and a little pigheaded as well\u2019.\u201d A number of quiet laughs rose from the gathered at that. He glanced once again at Ben and saw glistening eyes rise to meet his own.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd so home I came to help my father and brothers until one day, several years later, I received a letter. My grandfather asked me to come help him with his business. It seemed like a great adventure and now that my brothers were grown and the ranch was doing well, I came and it was as if I\u2019d never left. He still called me laddie and he still praised me to his friends and his business associates and I still felt the need to make him proud, even though I was a man heading toward forty.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow six years have come and gone, and once in awhile, I would still catch him berating some poor officer on the wharf. And each time I watched that officer take whatever he dished out because they understood that this man wanted them to live; live to head to sea once more and prove their mettle against Poseidon himself, if necessary. It was who he was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut in the end, this giant among men followed the same path we all shall walk and he did it as we all hope to \u2013 with dignity and grace. As I sat with him on that last day, he turned to me and said, \u2018go home, laddie, go home to your family and smile at each morning dawn for that day will be the best day of your life\u2019.\u201d Adam paused a moment; Ben watching him clutch the sides of the pulpit. \u201cAnd while I can\u2019t see that now, I know I shall when I ride over the crest of that last hill and see my home and my family spread out before me, waiting for my return as the sea waits for those who\u2019ve left her behind.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben heard the words and dared to hope. Could it be true that his son was finally coming home?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI, ah, wrote something last night and hope that you\u2019ll indulge me just for a moment longer. It seems to encompass my grandfather in just a few short words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t the beginning of his life<\/p>\n

nor was it the end.<\/p>\n

It was all the days between.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Those wretched dismal days<\/p>\n

of heartache and sorrow<\/p>\n

and untold drama unforeseen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Those happy brilliant days<\/p>\n

of excitement and joy<\/p>\n

and happiness yet to be seen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Those calm carefree days<\/p>\n

of contemplation and reflection<\/p>\n

and images of what has been.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t the beginning of his life<\/p>\n

nor was it the end.<\/p>\n

It was all the days between.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam hung his head for a moment then looked up. \u201cCaptain Abel Stoddard, my grandfather, was a man larger than life and he will be greatly missed by those he barely touched and those he held tightly to him.\u201d He then focused on the casket to his left. \u201cI wish you well, Grandfather, in this next phase of your life. And, please, make sure you remember to say hello to Elizabeth for both my father and myself. May peace be with you always.\u201d Gathering up the papers, he made his way slowly back to Ben\u2019s side and settled in next to him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took that moment to drape his arm about Adam\u2019s shoulder, noticing the shivers had worsened and wondered if his boy would make it to the end of the service, let alone across the cemetery. But past experience taught him the lengths his son could push himself if he thought it was worthwhile and just held on tighter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam, on the other hand, wasn\u2019t quite so sure, knowing his surface strength was failing. A weakness was working its way through him and that was always a signal he was about to drop. Those thoughts were pulled away as Gerald patted his arm and Ben stood, handing Adam his coat and muffler as the pallbearers lined up on either side of the casket. They carefully guided the Captain toward the door and out into a gray world beyond, a stiff breeze blowing men\u2019s coats and swirling ladies\u2019 dresses. Ben felt Adam begin to lean on him as they followed and he held tightly to his arm as they crossed the cemetery, finally stopping near a large tree.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All stood silently as the Reverend commended the Captain\u2019s body to the ground next to his beloved daughter, and a bell began to ring as the mourners bowed their heads. Adam moved out of his father\u2019s grasp and knelt next to the opening to gather up damp earth into a trembling hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cUntil we meet again, Grandfather,\u201d he whispered, letting the dirt fall through his fingers to land with a loud clump on top of the casket.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rising slowly, he could feel what little strength he\u2019d found earlier disappear just as a blast of wind sideswiped him and he staggered, feeling strong hands grab him as he began to sag, not having to wonder whose hands those were. He relaxed into their grip, so thankful there was someone else to take over for awhile until he could get back on his feet, both literally and figuratively. Vaguely he heard Gerald\u2019s voice shouting orders which brought a touch of mirth to him. His friend may be young but he\u2019d learned a few things from the Captain as well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRest easy, Adam,\u201d came Padric\u2019s voice and he even thought he heard Mrs. Hastings say something about hot bricks. But then another voice appeared, a gentle voice that washed over him like the evening tide and he opened foggy eyes to see gray skies and his father\u2019s pleasant face bending over him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEverything will be all right, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And he knew it would be because his father said so and let himself go.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

The sea rolled and the ship pitched and his hammock swayed dangerously from side to side. Creaks and moans from tormented wood filled the room and a distant voice calling for him to wake and man his station prompted him to open his eyes.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Falling from the hammock as gracefully as possible, Ben donned his hat and yanked on his jacket and stumbled toward the ladder that led to the main deck, instantly soaked by a wayward wave as he clung to the railing.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHang on, boys!\u201d was heard over the winds as Ben crawled up the ladder to the helm to take his station at the wheel. \u201cThere ya are, my boy! Steer us inta the wind and be quick about it!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAye, sir!\u201d Ben yelled over the wind, watching the masts play out and back as the ship finally found its course moving safely into calmer waters to let her exhausted crew gather their wits.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a good lad,\u201d the Captain said, laying a strong hand on Ben\u2019s shoulder and following it with a smile. \u201cShe\u2019s a good ship, strong and brave, just like the men who sail her. Always treat her with respect and she\u2019ll bring ya home every time.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAye, sir,\u201d Ben responded with his own smile as the sun began to peek through the rain laden clouds. \u201c\u2019A good ship, a sound sea is all I\u2019ll ever want or be . . .\u2019\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

The Captain glanced towards him. \u201c\u2019For round the Horn and back again on a dark forbidding sea . . .\u2019\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben smiled. \u201c\u2019Is how my life shall end or begin on that which we call She.\u2019\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAh, ya\u2019ve got poetry in yer soul, laddie,\u201d the Captain gave him. \u201cAlways a good thing for a sailor to have. It\u2019ll get ya through the worst of it and the best of it, too.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll remember that, Captain.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGood for you!\u201d he answered, slapping Ben on the back then moving away to yell out orders to the other men as the shoreline crept slowly towards them. Elizabeth waited there, waited for him, and Ben knew this time he would stay with her forever.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

He loved the sea but he had a dream, a dream to go west and she was willing to follow. His smile grew wider at the thought of her and he began to sing, the tune taken up by those around him until the entire ship worked with voices raised as they sailed toward Boston harbor and his future . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben awoke to find himself muttering, and when he listened closely, could hear the words to that song. It made him grin and he turned over but after a few minutes found sleep had deserted him. Running a hand down a scraggly face, he tossed back the covers and stood, thinking a brandy or glass of warm milk might ease him back to sleep. Grabbing his robe and stepping into slippers, he headed for the stairs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When they\u2019d gotten Adam home four days before, his son had been shaking so badly his teeth practically chattered out of his mouth and Padric promptly stuck him in bed with Mrs. Hastings\u2019 hot bricks and piles of blankets and quilts. He\u2019d not stirred for two full days. \u2018Ya keep \u2018im in bed, Mr. Cartwright,\u2019 Padric ordered, \u2018for about a week and I\u2019ll not hear \u2018is cajolin\u2019 ya ta get out from between them covers afore that. Do I have yer word, sir?\u2019 he\u2019d asked of Ben, who quickly complied, not bothering to remind the man how difficult that would be.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After Adam finally woke, Ben managed to confine him for another day, continuously prompting him with food and liquids until he accused his father of forgetting he wasn\u2019t as big as Hoss. And on this day, Ben had to practically tie him down with a promise to take him downstairs tomorrow and maybe he could welcome one of the myriad of visitors who\u2019d come to call himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But that was tomorrow and tonight Ben just wanted to get back to sleep, so he padded soundlessly toward the stairs, deciding the brandy decanter that sat near the fireplace was a lot closer than the kitchen. His journey stopped though at the bottom step when he realized the couch was occupied.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d was all Adam said. He glanced sheepishly up at him as he neared. \u201cI\u2019m supposed to stay in bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s just hope Padric doesn\u2019t come through that door, because it\u2019ll be my tail he swings me from, not yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave a slight laugh at the vision that created. \u201cI locked the door,\u201d he said conspiratorially. \u201cI think we\u2019re safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI always knew you were sneaky,\u201d Ben stated as he sat in the chair opposite. \u201cMust\u2019ve gotten that from your mother.\u201d Adam laughed outright at that as Ben grinned. \u201cCouldn\u2019t sleep or just wanted a change of scenery?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cA little of both,\u201d Adam admitted with a yawn. \u201cToo busy thinking to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Joe always said you\u2019d think your brain right out of your head one day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sniggered. \u201cI believe he was right.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They sat in silence, both staring into the fire as it crackled before them, each lost in their own thoughts, their own memories.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGrandfather left me the house,\u201d Adam blurted out, \u201cand the business.\u201d He looked over at his father. \u201cI\u2019m now the proud owner of Stoddard Enterprises.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d was all Ben said, not surprised by Abel\u2019s gift. \u201cDo you want them?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam returned his gaze to the fire. \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d came his answer after a bit. \u201cIt\u2019s just . . .\u201d He stopped himself and leaned his head back against the soft arm of the couch. \u201cIt\u2019s just too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to make a decision right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf not now, when?\u201d he asked glancing Ben\u2019s way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon, don\u2019t rush into this. You have time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut I want . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben waited seeing him look away and close his eyes. \u201cWhat do you want, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The voice that answered was quiet and he had to strain to listen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI want to come home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Those five simple words prompted Ben to sit straight up, hoping what he\u2019d just heard was what he\u2019d just heard. Did he mean home to the Ponderosa or his own home here? Would that mean that Ben would have all his boys home?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Why doesn\u2019t he say anything?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSon?\u201d he said, hoping to clear the air but nothing was forthcoming. \u201cAdam?\u201d he asked again, finally hearing deep breaths, realizing his boy had fallen asleep on him. Ben rubbed his chin and turned back to the fire.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He\u2019d always known his boys would go off to find their own lives \u2013 marry, have children, and possibly move away \u2013 he\u2019d just fretted over when that time would come. Despite the fact that all of his boys hadn\u2019t found love or given him grandchildren, he still had them at home protecting what was theirs \u2013 the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Adam approached him with Abel\u2019s letter six years before, Ben was crushed, for he knew what his son\u2019s decision would be, having seen the look . . . the look of wanting more than what was right in front of him for many years. Could he stand in the way of his son\u2019s happiness? Isn\u2019t that what he always wanted for them all?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So Ben had raised his head and set his jaw then grasped his boy\u2019s shoulders and gave him his blessing, even though it had all been a lie. If Ben could\u2019ve gotten away with tying Adam up and shoving him in the shed until he\u2019d dismissed this silly notion of running away to Boston and forsaking the family, he would\u2019ve done so in a second. But he knew no matter how long that boy stayed in the shed, he\u2019d still want to go, so dismissed that wild idea. Besides, Adam wasn\u2019t forsaking the family. He was finding his own way. And isn\u2019t that what a son is supposed to do?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Looking toward his sleeping boy, Ben rose and pulled the blanket up then kissed his forehead, his coloring and temperature back to normal.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe Ponderosa is always your home, son, and we\u2019ll always be there for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben turned toward the stairs and headed up, brandy forgotten, back to his warm bed and the dreams that slept there.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A week passed and Adam hadn\u2019t brought up the idea of going home since that night by the fire and Ben hadn\u2019t bothered to remind him of it. He could tell the decision of the house and business were weighing heavily upon his eldest and didn\u2019t feel the need to\u00a0 pressure him further. So he\u2019d kept quiet, helping Adam go through Abel\u2019s things, selling some and keeping the rest, Ben finding a few trinkets of Elizabeth\u2019s that he\u2019d left behind all those years ago. It had been a trip down memory lane that brought both to tears and laughter along the way. But now that little chore was done and they\u2019d both settled in at Adam\u2019s house just down the street.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben enjoyed the little touches of home he found throughout the small house. A photograph of the whole family sat on the desk; one of Sport\u2019s horseshoes was nailed over the front door; Adam\u2019s monogrammed saddlebags rested across the back of a wooden chair; an Indian rug was carefully draped over the banister and a guitar sat against a bookcase that practically duplicated Adam\u2019s collection on the Ponderosa, save for a few extra editions from local authors.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But the best thing Ben could see was what hung over the fireplace – a map of the Ponderosa. Oh, the original was still back home, drawn by Adam himself so many years ago. This one was an updated version that was just the Ponderosa with all the special places notated, like the lake and the meadow where Adam liked to think and the hill that held their beloved Marie. The saw mills were there, along with all the caves and streams and creeks, and in the center sat the ranch house with four very distinct horses standing in the yard.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen did you make this?\u201d Ben asked as Adam slipped behind his desk to rummage through a drawer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He glanced up to the map. \u201cBefore I left, I took one last walkabout of the ranch so I could emblazon it all in my memory and then worked out the details all the way here. As soon as I settled in with Grandfather, I started working on it. Finished it in about two weeks.\u201d He looked off then. \u201cI was afraid I would forget all the places I loved about home the longer I was away and I didn\u2019t want that to happen.\u201d He looked back to his father until Ben turned to him surprised at the solemn face on his boy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI want you to know that my leaving wasn\u2019t so I\u2019d forget everything I\u2019d lost – all the chances at a family I\u2019d missed – although that may have been forefront in my mind at the time,\u201d Adam began. \u201cMy leaving was so that I could see if I was missing something else before it was too late, something that I couldn\u2019t see in Nevada. I don\u2019t think Joe ever understood that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe did understand finally but not in the beginning. All he saw was you leaving again and not coming back,\u201d Ben explained.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI never said I wasn\u2019t coming back.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but you know how Joe is. You were leaving with an open ended return date. That was forever to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat changed his mind?\u201d Adam asked as he sat down at the desk, Ben moving toward the small couch before the fireplace.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t really know. I think Hoss had a lot to do with it and Hop Sing as well. Somehow they got through to him, made him understand that it was your right to leave, just as it was theirs, if they chose to someday. But just because you left didn\u2019t mean you wouldn\u2019t be coming home when your traveling was done.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked down at his desk and fiddled with a stack of papers. \u201cWhat if . . .\u201d he began, stopped then forged on. \u201cWhat if my traveling isn\u2019t done? What if from here I\u2019d like to go to Europe or somewhere else? What would he think then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben eyed his boy, his heart tightening at the thought, then leaned elbows onto knees knowing this question was for more than Joe. \u201cAdam, it doesn\u2019t matter what other people think, including us. If that is what you want to do, then do it. If you want to stay here and run Stoddard Enterprises, do that. If you want to go to Europe, then go. It\u2019s your choice and we will stand by it and offer you a hearty good luck.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam looked up seeing his father casting an easy gaze at him. Nothing about the look made him think that the words just spoken weren\u2019t meant and he relaxed a bit at the knowledge that he was being given an out if necessary.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But there was the other question, the other want he\u2019d been harboring for about a year or so and he stood up then and paced toward the window to look out over the wharf, watching the gulls soar above the newly docked ships, thinking on the smell of the sea that wafted through the air every day and the excitement of traveling abroad whenever the whim caught him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Adam?\u201d Ben finally asked, seeing his boy run a hand through his hair with one hand and plant the other on his hip.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He cast a glance at his father then turned back with a shake of his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stood and approached, laying a hand on Adam\u2019s tense shoulder. \u201cKeeping whatever it is inside will only distress you further, son. Let me help if I can. I\u2019ve always been a good listener.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam knew that was true after years of experience. He scratched his hairy chin, ran a hand across the back of his neck and sighed. \u201cI . . .\u201d he began but then stopped moving away from Ben\u2019s hand to stand before the map looking closely at it. He took a breath and turned fixing his father with a determined look. \u201cI want to come home.\u201d There, he\u2019d said it and there was no taking it back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He watched his father closely, watched for any sign, any flinch or movement that would give away what he was thinking, like he\u2019d been away for far too long to just waltz back home. But all he got was a very large smile that grew wider with each passing second. Relief ran through him at the sight and he chuckled inwardly at himself. It shouldn\u2019t have surprised him. His father had always been supportive of his coming to Boston but it was no secret he always wanted him to come home at some point.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere are . . . complications,\u201d Adam quickly added, seeing his father open his mouth to respond.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s brow furrowed at that statement. \u201cWhat complications?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJamie and Candy for one. Joe for another.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben just looked at him. Those were complications?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJamie is my new brother, Pa, a brother I\u2019ve never met. And Candy, well, he seems to have taken my place . . . with Joe, at least.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen there\u2019s Joe himself, who was finally rid of his bossy older brother six years ago. According to your letters, he\u2019s grown up a lot, invested himself in the ranch, become your right hand. As much as I want to come home, I don\u2019t want to disrupt that. I don\u2019t want a repeat of when I came home from school. I\u2019m too old for that.\u201d He turned away again and ran a hand over his beard. \u201cMaybe I should just stay here. I have a business, a house, friends. Maybe this is where I should be.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stepped toward him. \u201cDo you want<\/u><\/em> to come home?\u201d he asked a stern tone filling those words making Adam turn. \u201cDo you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He swallowed then nodded. \u201cI have for some time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen come home,\u201d Ben stated. \u201cComplications be damned.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave him a lopsided grin. \u201cEasy for you to say, Pa. You don\u2019t have to deal with Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben grabbed him then and maneuvered him around. \u201cDon\u2019t let past problems keep you from getting what you want. You\u2019ve done that before. Don\u2019t do it now.\u201d He searched his father\u2019s eyes seeing his face soften. \u201cAdam, I won\u2019t deny that I want you home or that I\u2019ve missed you terribly these last years, but so have your brothers, Joe included. Give him a chance to show you how much he\u2019s changed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut what if it doesn\u2019t work?\u201d he asked. \u201cWhat will I do then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben hadn\u2019t heard that little boy voice coming from Adam in a long time and squeezed his shoulders. \u201cSon, why don\u2019t you give it a chance before you start worrying about what might happen.\u201d Adam sighed then nodded, giving his father a little smile. \u201cYou\u2019ve always been a worrier,\u201d Ben said with a slight laugh. \u201cEven when you were a little boy. Always worried about the hole in your shirt or how a mother deer found her fawn in the tall grass.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey were important at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, and they always seemed to work themselves out in the end, one way or the other.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s the other I worry about,\u201d Adam confessed as Ben shook his head and patted his boy\u2019s shoulder then moved back to the couch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about him?\u201d Adam asked as his father sat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAren\u2019t you worried what he\u2019ll say?\u201d Ben asked as Adam sat down opposite him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNever have before.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cHoss and I know each other so well it\u2019s as if we can hear the other think.\u201d He eyed his father. \u201cWhy? Should I be worried?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss is my best friend, Pa, and I\u2019d do anything for him. I do anything for any of you, Jamie included.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, we\u2019ve enough room in the house to welcome home a wayward son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAh, I was thinking . . .\u201d Adam began as he shot up and moved back to the desk returning quickly with a rolled up piece of oversized paper. Handing one end to Ben, Adam spread it out and the contents were revealed. \u201cI was thinking of building my own place not too far from the main house. Trying out new strains of cattle, helping you if you needed it. I\u2019d be making my own way and not messing with Joe\u2019s. What do you think?\u201d He waited for the initial reaction, hoping it would be what he expected.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis is beautiful,\u201d Ben said looking at the fine lines of the log house, more refined and smaller than their own home, but fitting the man who would live there. He turned to Adam, seeing the longing, the need to come home and was never so happy in his life. \u201cI think it\u2019s a grand idea,\u201d he finally answered as Adam returned his smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He\u2019d answered correctly; Ben could see it in his son\u2019s expressive eyes, the golden flecks back in place now that he\u2019d caught up on his sleep and gotten over the remnants of the illness and the first stages of mourning for his grandfather.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was coming home. He was coming home!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have a timeline?\u201d Ben asked as Adam rolled up the blueprint.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019ll have to sell both houses and the business. I don\u2019t know how long that\u2019ll take.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo matter, as long as you\u2019re coming home.\u201d Ben kept smiling until Adam chuckled and shook his head. He grabbed his son\u2019s hand as he stood, drawing his gaze. \u201cI\u2019m very proud of you, son. I always have been and I always will.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben watched Adam\u2019s eyes fill. \u201cThanks, Pa. That means a lot,\u201d he finally said, quickly embracing his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben returned the hug, already counting the days to when his oldest son would once again set foot on the Ponderosa and his family would be whole again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Epilogue<\/u><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam sat on his hired horse overlooking the big house, suddenly nervous about continuing down into the yard. He looked behind him a time or two, wondering if he should just head back to town, re-board the train and return to Boston. But then he remembered he didn\u2019t have anything left in Boston. He\u2019d sold his grandfather\u2019s house and business to Gerald Cripton, his own house to the neighbor next door who wanted to expand, and he\u2019d left with a light heart over his decision to come home. Now he wasn\u2019t so sure.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All the little things sprang up to bother him, all the things he\u2019d dismissed over and over only to have them shout out once again. What about Jamie and Candy? What about Joe? Would he fit in anymore after having been away for so long? Would he be content? Shaking his head, he took a deep breath and filled his lungs with the cleansing air of home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust go,\u201d he said aloud. \u201cThey can only turn you out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pressing heels to his mount, he started down the slight hill, his mind filling with memories so clear it was as if they were happening now. The time Hoss dunked Joe in the horse trough for playing with his hat; the moment he and Sport came to an understanding at the corral; the second he\u2019d waved goodbye.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dismounting and dropping the reins over the hitching post, Adam rubbed his horse\u2019s neck then hesitantly stepped toward the front door to finger the latch and then stopped. He hadn\u2019t lived here for six years and it wouldn\u2019t do to have Hop Sing shoot him his first night home. Knocking, he received no reply and threw caution to the wind. Grabbing the latch, he popped open the door and called out as he entered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHello the house!\u201d Only his echoing voice returned to him from the dark room, the slight flickering of the banked fire the only available light.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Closing the door, he moved to the desk, found the matches in the same place, and lit the lamp there exposing the room to more light. A wave of nostalgia washed over him as it came into view. It made him feel safe and settled and he found he didn\u2019t mind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa? Hop Sing?\u201d he called heading toward the kitchen only to re-emerge a few moments later. \u201cHoss? Joe?\u201d He waited. \u201cHuh,\u201d he muttered, then shrugged, debating with himself whether he should wait for them here or go up to his room, his old room that his father assured him was exactly the same.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Curiosity getting the better of him, Adam climbed the stairs, running a hand over the Indian blanket as he passed before continuing up, stopping outside his room, his heart beating loudly in his chest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis is silly,\u201d he said trying to get a hold of himself as he reached for the knob and pushed open the door. All worries left him when he found everything in its place as if he\u2019d only been gone for a day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tracing fingers over familiar objects, he headed straight for his guitar. Sitting in the chair by the window, he strummed out a tune and grinned remembering the number of times he\u2019d sat by the fire downstairs and entertained himself or his family with the music he loved. His grandfather always liked it when he played the old sea songs, interspersing other pieces to carry them through a long winter\u2019s night. His grin fell at the thought that that was just a memory now.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shaking off his sudden melancholy, Adam rested the instrument back in its place then scanned the books patiently waiting for his return and pulled down his favorite. He\u2019d never been able to find this one back East and was always going to send for it but never had. And here it was, in his hands at last, as he settled himself on his bed, lighting the lamp on the bedside table, stopping when he found a small envelope leaning against his mother\u2019s music box. Placing the leather bound book on his lap, he pulled open the note instantly recognizing his father\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2018Dear Son, I\u2019m returning your mother\u2019s music box to you now that you\u2019re home. I wanted to thank you for leaving it with me while you were gone, for it kept me closer to you in way I can\u2019t quite comprehend and refuse to question. I knew that some day I would be returning it to you and am glad that that someday has finally arrived. Love, Pa.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Smiling at the gift and the cherished words, Adam lifted the lid to hear the beautiful tune he\u2019d known since childhood. A sort of peace descended over him, peace and contentment that seemed to sooth his soul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Settling back against the headboard, his thoughts lingered on all the things he\u2019d done and all the stories he could tell his brothers now that he had the time. Yawning, he picked up the book and opened the cover to fall back into words that spoke to him as he waited for someone to come home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I don\u2019t know whatcha gonna do there, Joe,\u201d Hoss said as he smiled at his brother riding next to him. \u201cAin\u2019t likely ol\u2019 Ida Prunnell is gonna let ya off the hook so easy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get out of it. Don\u2019t you worry, older brother,\u201d Joe stated, stuffing his string tie in a pocket.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI always worry when it comes ta you and a little gal, especially after she danced yer feet of tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIda ain\u2019t that little, Hoss,\u201d Joe stated with a laugh as Ben rode up next to them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBeautiful night don\u2019t you think?\u201d he said with a wide smile drawing one from each of his boys. \u201cIt\u2019s going to be mighty peaceful tomorrow what with Hop Sing and Jamie in San Francisco and Candy out with the herd. I think we should sleep in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut what about church?\u201d Joe asked before he could stop himself receiving a glare from Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s stay in tomorrow. It won\u2019t hurt us to miss one Sunday.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss traded puzzled looks this time then Hoss\u2019 brows raised. \u201cIt\u2019s that telegram, Joe,\u201d he said with a nod. \u201cThe one from Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, that\u2019s why,\u201d Joe said finally catching on. \u201cWouldn\u2019t want to be in church in case Adam shows up, huh, Pa? Wouldn\u2019t be right the prodigal son returning to an empty house.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben neither denied nor accepted their theory but the smile on his face was a dead giveaway.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa, ya ain\u2019t stopped smilin\u2019 since ya got that telegram. It\u2019s nice ta see,\u201d Hoss said with a grin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa. It makes us think you were missing him or something,\u201d Joe added as Ben laughed pulling at his own string tie, eyeing them both.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was, Joe. I didn\u2019t realize how much until I saw him when Abel took ill. I knew he wanted to come home. It just took a bit of time to get him to admit it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI woulda paid money ta see that,\u201d Hoss said with a laugh. \u201cI always loved it when Pa wheedled stuff outta Adam. It was always a sight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike that time he made him take out Clara Baines\u2019 niece,\u201d Joe offered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOr the time he managed ta get him ta whitewash the barn,\u201d Hoss gave him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOr the time I . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t me this time, boys,\u201d Ben confessed. \u201cHe brought it up and I just went with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019ll be nice to see big brother again,\u201d Joe admitted. \u201cI\u2019ve missed him too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 brows nearly flew off his head. \u201cWell, I\u2019ll be,\u201d he said with a huge grin. \u201cNever thought I\u2019d see the day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNever thought I\u2019d see Joe Cartwright admit that he was missin\u2019 his bossy older brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe held his gaze for a moment then looked away. \u201cWell, now you have.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe urged Cochise on a bit faster; Hoss and Ben traded looks then followed after, rounding the barn to see Joe standing by an unknown horse tethered to the hitching post. He turned excited eyes toward them as Ben quickly dismounted. No words were necessary as Ben slapped Joe on the arm then hurried into the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s goin\u2019 on?\u201d Hoss asked as he came to stand next to his brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis<\/u><\/em> is going on,\u201d Joe answered tapping the distinctive monogram on the saddlebags.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019ll be,\u201d Hoss answered in a grin as the two hurried after their father. They could hear Ben calling for their brother and made it through the front door in time to see him scurry up the stairs and disappear from sight. They quickly gave chase.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Coming to a sliding stop outside the open door, Ben held his breath and silently gazed inside, his sight falling upon his beloved son lying on the bed sound asleep, an open book atop his chest. Tip-toeing in, he carefully removed the book then relieved Adam of his boots before draping him with a quilt grabbed from a nearby chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWelcome home, son,\u201d he whispered, leaning over to gently kiss Adam\u2019s forehead. Satisfied he was really there, he bent to blow out the lamp only to be stopped by two words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben straightened, seeing sleep-filled eyes blinking toward him, followed by a slow smile. He smiled back, so very pleased. \u201cGo back to sleep, son. It\u2019s late. We\u2019ll have a proper greeting in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam nodded then rolled over, snuggling deeper into his pillow as Ben blew out the light and moved toward the door to shoo Hoss and Joe into the hall.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs he all right?\u201d they both asked as Ben closed the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s fine. He had a long trip, it\u2019s late and I think our hellos can wait until morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Pa, it\u2019s been a long time and . . .\u201d Hoss sputtered to a stop at the look from his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve waited this long, we can wait another few hours. Now go to bed. Go on. He\u2019ll still be here in the morning.\u201d They reluctantly nodded then started as Ben pointed a finger at them. \u201cAnd let him sleep,\u201d he warned. \u201cDon\u2019t go in there and stare at him. You know that\u2019s no way to wake your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They both smiled, remembering a time or two they\u2019d been bodily tossed from their big brother\u2019s room for doing just that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Pa,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cWell, I\u2019ll see ya in the mornin\u2019.\u201d He smiled at his father. \u201cI\u2019m sure glad Adam\u2019s home, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, me, too,\u201d Joe added. \u201cI always felt like we were missing something when he was gone. It\u2019s nice to have him home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben wrapped a hand about Joe\u2019s neck and patted Hoss\u2019 arm. \u201cIt\u2019s always nice to have the whole family home. Now, go to bed. It\u2019s late.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYessir.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNight, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Left alone, Ben turned back toward his eldest\u2019s door and laid a hand on the wood, a happy smile slowly spreading across his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Adam,\u201d he whispered. \u201cThank you for coming home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*****End*****<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0<\/sup><\/em><\/p>\n

1\u00a0 <\/sup><\/em>Inger\u2019s death – \u201cA Journey Remembered\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

2\u00a0 <\/sup><\/em>Marie\u2019s death – \u201cMarie, My Love\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

3 \u00a0<\/sup><\/em>Ruth Halvorson – \u201cThe Savage\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

4 \u00a0<\/sup><\/em>Delphine Marquette – \u201cThe Dark Gate\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/sup><\/em><\/p>\n

Author\u2019s Note<\/u>:\u00a0 Here is a prime example of how a story changes from start to finish. This began with Adam looking out his window on the Ponderosa, contemplating his losses since he had to write a eulogy for someone close to him. After bringing up and tossing out various people, I finally came up with Roy Coffee. Well, that was just too heinous to contemplate so I found myself thinking of Abel Stoddard and Boston and everything changed. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0Also, I debated with bringing Adam home after Hoss\u2019 death and Joe\u2019s loss of wife and baby, but that just seemed too depressing so I\u2019ve fiddled with the timeline and brought him home prior to any of those terrible happenings (including the end of the televised series). Please forgive a little creative license for the sake of telling a, hopefully, interesting story.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 Adam contemplates another death, and the prospect of giving the euology.<\/p>\n

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