{"id":12677,"date":"2006-10-14T07:27:15","date_gmt":"2006-10-14T11:27:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12677"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:10:20","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:10:20","slug":"what-the-vultures-will-bring-by-calim11","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12677","title":{"rendered":"What the Vultures Will Bring (by Calim11)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 <\/strong>What Happened Next – The Crucible *<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (9,985 words)<\/p>\n

Author\u2019s Note:\u00a0 This has always been one of my favorite episodes with such potential for a follow-up. Numerous fans\/writers have done so with remarkable results. I\u2019m just adding my two cents here. Enjoy!<\/em><\/p>\n

What the Vultures Will Bring Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

What the Vultures Will Bring<\/a>
\nThe Light Home<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What the Vultures Will Bring<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cSon,\u201d came a voice from behind him, stilling his hand on Sport\u2019s neck. Dread filled him making him tense every muscle in his body until they hurt. What followed was panic rising in him, a familiar feeling of late, and he had to forcibly clamp down on the urge to run screaming into the night. This was his father, his savior, the man who\u2019d found him and brought him out of the desert; the man who\u2019d brought him home.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s the matter with me?\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Ever since Adam Cartwright had opened semi-coherent eyes a few days before to find himself not in the desert but in his own room, he\u2019d been afraid of every sound and every sight, all leading him to dark thoughts and foggy memories. Distant glimpses of what he\u2019d had to do tugged at him, making him withdraw into his own world worried that this fear building inside might lead to eating a bullet just to give him some peace. No, he couldn\u2019t do that to his family.<\/p>\n

But what can I do for myself?<\/em><\/p>\n

Letting loose a heavy sigh, he looked over Sport\u2019s back into the depths of the barn and remained silent.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I\u2019d find you out here,\u201d Ben Cartwright continued with a forced smile, wondering how Adam could have made it this far from his bed.<\/p>\n

It was Hop Sing who\u2019d noticed first, drawing their attention to the disheveled form descending the stairs, taking each step as if the effort would topple him over. Adam hadn\u2019t ventured two feet from his room since they\u2019d been home, let alone a trip downstairs \u2013 not having enough stamina or desire to do so.<\/p>\n

But there he was, passing all four of them, looking neither right nor left, not hearing any of them call his name as he moved out into the night. Each made a step to follow but Ben stopped them with a look before heading out the door.<\/p>\n

Everything is different about him.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Unable to erase that anguished cry of recognition before Adam had fallen into his arms delirious and exhausted, Ben embraced the memory as he trudged across the yard towards the barn. With it came the four day stay in Salt Flats, trying to keep him hydrated and fed, and the three brutal nights on the trail home, cringing as nightmares claimed him, claimed them all. It had been a long haul so far and it wasn\u2019t over yet.<\/p>\n

He even stands differently.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe missed you in the house,\u201d Ben said as he leaned against Sport\u2019s stall, clasping his hands together, waiting for a typical Adam reply. Instead, silence filled the barn, Sport brushing his head against his master\u2019s arm to be rewarded with a shaky hand down his muzzle. \u201cAdam?\u201d Turning, he narrowed his eyes. He\u2019s still here.<\/em> Ben gave him a reassuring smile. \u201cI said we missed you in the house.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam heard the words and connected them slowly as if through a dense fog. \u201cI needed to be here,\u201d was all he said in a voice low and gravely. Ben watched as he thought over each word, his hand straying to absently scratch Sport between the ears.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s been taking good care of him since he found him with that blacksmith,\u201d Ben continued with a half smile, gesturing toward the black and white pinto two stalls over. \u201cLucky Cochise split a hoof or we might never have found him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Or you.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I\u2019d . . . lost him,\u201d he answered, emotion filling his voice. \u201cThey took him and left me . . .\u201d The pain of memory was evident and he hastened to turn his attention to a small tangle in Sport\u2019s mane. \u201cI needed to be here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s good to have him home . . . to have the both of you home.\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was tinged with a false happiness that Adam should\u2019ve seen through and didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

\u201cHome.\u201d<\/p>\n

That one word, filled with longing, slapped at Ben. Adam was<\/u><\/em> home but he didn\u2019t seem to know it. The strong confidence that shaped his eldest when he was a child and made him who he was as an adult was gone, leaving behind this lost little boy and Ben cursed the man who\u2019d driven him to this.<\/p>\n

Now is not the time.<\/em><\/p>\n

Calming himself, he watched Adam finish with the tangle then proceed to straighten each hair in Sport\u2019s mane as if it was the most important thing in the world.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s like a shadow.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI heard you,\u201d came a whisper.<\/p>\n

\u201cHeard me?\u201d Ben questioned, not wanting to push.<\/p>\n

\u201cOut there . . . you called. I heard you, heard the shots, but I couldn\u2019t get to you. I tried but he . . . he wouldn\u2019t let me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam heard us; he knew we were out there and we gave up<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt least . . . I think it was you.\u201d<\/p>\n

My God, he heard us. <\/em>\u201cYes, that was us,\u201d Ben admitted his heart pounding in his chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . I didn\u2019t hear you again.\u201d<\/p>\n

He heard us.<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben stared at the barn roof, trying to slow his heartbeat, aching with guilt. He heard us and we gave up.<\/em> He so wanted to rewind time and save his son from that man, that trial in the desert that had so disrupted their lives.<\/p>\n

Why, God . . . why?<\/em><\/p>\n

Looking back, he watched the painstaking effort it took for Adam to pull each strand of hair straight, wondering what was going on in his head, wondering what was keeping him on his feet after all he\u2019d been through. The darkness that surrounded him was palpable and he was determined to end it.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should come back inside,\u201d came Ben\u2019s uneven voice. \u201cThis is the first time you\u2019ve been up since we\u2019ve been home and we don\u2019t want to . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s too . . . close inside,\u201d he answered.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe walls, Pa. . . they close in around me . . . make me feel like I\u2019m back in that mine.\u201d All I have to do is take one step out of the barn and I\u2019ll be right back in his<\/u> grip!<\/em> \u201cIt\u2019s worse at night.\u201d Tears threatened and he fought them with everything he had, determined to hold on. Grinding his teeth, he focused once again on Sport\u2019s mane. \u201cI just have to be here<\/u><\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben understood that Adam was barely hanging onto any semblance of normality by hanging onto Sport \u2013 something taken from him that was now returned \u2013 and he prayed for guidance. His son was still in the desert; still dragging that man; still trapped in that mine. It was time to come home. \u201cRest is the best medicine, son. You know that,\u201d he tried as Adam sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t sleep,\u201d came the answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean you won\u2019t<\/u><\/em> sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe comes in my sleep, Pa,\u201d Adam explained closing his eyes in frustration, \u201cand I can\u2019t get away until I . . . until I kill him. I can\u2019t see that anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t kill him, Adam. The desert killed him.\u201d<\/p>\n

They keep telling me that. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you know for certain?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou told us,\u201d Ben calmly explained, wondering when this particular memory would straighten itself out and take hold. To Adam, the words were like an echo, leaving a partial imprint before disappearing. Ben watched him, his reaction always the same \u2013 disbelief followed by a haunted, fearful look. \u201cTalk to us, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m . . . mixed up. Don\u2019t know what\u2019s real anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. Let us help you sort things out, fill in some of the blanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked at Ben, that panicky feeling surfacing, and shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSon . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, please . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, how do you expect to heal unless you talk about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I might not like what I find,\u201d he said, heat tingeing those words, Ben beginning to understand what the problem might be.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever happened wasn\u2019t you, son,\u201d Ben claimed. \u201cIt was what he\u2019d driven you too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever I became must\u2019ve been there already, hidden, controlled.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t you. Let us help you.\u201d Adam shook his head again and turned away. \u201cYou can do anything you set your mind, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not . . . strong enough, Pa,\u201d he sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you\u2019re the strongest man I know,\u201d Ben answered with certainty waiting for his son to agree.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot anymore,\u201d came the mumbled reply.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe desert took everything, Pa. He<\/u><\/em> took everything,\u201d he spat, skewering him with a look. \u201cI\u2019m not the same man anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat may be true right now<\/u><\/em> but all you need is time . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll I need is for none of this to have happened!\u201d came the raised voice. Sport tossed his head and Adam quickly laid a calming hand to his neck while his other hand rubbed his own forehead.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut it did happen,\u201d Ben continued, \u201cand ignoring it won\u2019t fix it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen make me understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d he answered, taking a deep breath and blinking several times as Sport shifted in front of him. \u201cI can\u2019t even remember you finding me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here now . . . your brothers are here,\u201d Ben pleaded grabbing hold of his arm, feeling him shake, understanding the effort it was taking for him to focus on anything. \u201cYou didn\u2019t kill him. Stop blaming yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t know, Pa,\u201d he answered with a shake of his head, moving away from Ben\u2019s grasp. \u201cI wasn\u2019t strong enough to stop him . . . or myself.\u201d He grabbed Sport \u2013 fingers grasping a hunk of mane he\u2019d just straightened, the other quivering as it wiped sweat from his brow.<\/p>\n

Taking a moment, Adam finally noticed the tremble that had slowly begun to take hold and chalked it up to being vertical after such a long time. The call of Sport\u2019s continuous neighing this night was the only reason he was standing here in the first place \u2013 pulled from his sick bed to be at his friend\u2019s side. It was like a balm being here, feeling his warm breath blow his hair, seeing a coat devoid of the dust and grime from the desert, home in his own stall. If only he<\/u><\/em> could find his way home.<\/p>\n

God,<\/em> I hated that man.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI hated him,\u201d he finally uttered, the thought barely entering his head before it was out his mouth, dismissing the odd cast the lantern seemed to throw about the barn.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou had reason,\u201d Ben agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe saved me, then trapped me and worked me near to death just so . . . just so I\u2019d kill him. My hands were around his throat and I squeezed . . .\u201d He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry as his heart beat faster. \u201cHe was . . .\u00a0 The desert, that mine had driven him insane. I couldn\u2019t get away and all I wanted to do was get home. All I wanted was you . . .\u201d\u00a0 He blinked again, his voice trailing off as he staggered a bit, his other hand quickly finding the side of the stall to keep him upright as Ben reached for him again.<\/p>\n

I feel like I\u2019ve been\u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n

Lifting a glazed look toward his father, accusation filled his face. \u201cWhat did you do, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou need to sleep, Adam,\u201d was all Ben said as he moved to stand in front of him, no apologies in his manner, ignoring the angry eyes that followed him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow could you . . . force me . . ?\u201d His knees gave way and Ben caught him as he\u2019d done not so long ago.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s for the best, son,\u201d he answered sliding to the ground with this precious burden in his arms.<\/p>\n

\u201c. . . damn . . . you . . .\u201d was all Ben heard as his head fell against his shoulder, sleep claiming him at last.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s for the best.\u201d<\/p>\n

Holding on tight, tears crept down Ben\u2019s face to drop into Adam\u2019s dark hair and he thought on these last weeks which, following the worst days of his life, had been beyond difficult with fevers and delirium and sickness, and always nightmares. But how could he forget the years that seeped from him as he sat on that hot and dusty hill, his world collapsing as he began to understand he\u2019d never see his eldest again, when an apparition appeared on the desert floor? Hope had filled him and he\u2019d pushed Buck down that narrow path only to find a son caught in a world of desperation and fear from which he hadn\u2019t returned. Would he ever recover what he\u2019d lost? Would Adam Cartwright ever come home?<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything all right, Pa?\u201d Joe quietly asked as Hoss knelt next to his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe went down here instead of in the house,\u201d Ben explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe reckoned that\u2019s what happened when ya didn\u2019t come back in,\u201d Hoss answered, rubbing Sport\u2019s head as he bumped his master\u2019s back.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s gonna be mighty mad when he wakes up,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know but he has to sleep. I guess I just didn\u2019t measure Paul\u2019s sleeping powder correctly,\u201d Ben disclosed with a shrug. \u201cAnd he was just beginning to talk.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSay anythin\u2019 new?\u201d Hoss asked watching as his father\u2019s chin began to quiver. \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben debated about telling them. It would only make them feel worse than they already did.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did he say, Pa?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe, ah . . . he heard us calling for him,\u201d came the answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh God,\u201d Joe whispered running a hand over his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe heard us and knew we were out there,\u201d Ben started, remorse filling him. \u201cAnd we almost turned away. We almost turned away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t he call out?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe couldn\u2019t. Kane wouldn\u2019t let him,\u201d Ben said with disgust.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe havta tell him, Pa,\u201d Hoss said looking toward his sleeping brother. \u201cHe hasta know what we did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d Joe began angry at the thought. \u201cWe didn\u2019t leave. We found him. He\u2019s home now and we love him. That\u2019s all he needs to know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Ben interjected. \u201cHe needs the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat good will that do?\u201d Joe asked in an irritated voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe can\u2019t remember everything and what he does makes him feel . . . like an animal. We have to make him see how wrong he is, make him believe in himself again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how will confessing to abandoning him help?\u201d Joe pressed.<\/p>\n

Ben paused. \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he finally admitted.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d Hoss began as he met his younger brother\u2019s glare, \u201cmaybe it\u2019ll show him that everyone has a limit, Joe. That man, Kane, wanted Adam ta kill him \u2018cause he was too scared ta do it hisself, so he pushed until he broke him. I never thought Adam had a limit. He done told ya he couldn\u2019t be pushed to kill and look what happened.\u201d He sighed and rubbed his hands together. \u201cEveryone has a limit, Joe. Adam found his and we found ours.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd so we must heal together,\u201d Ben finished for them.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not that easy, Pa,\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll just havta make it that easy,\u201d Hoss said moving to his feet. \u201cNow let\u2019s get older brother here into the house and up ta bed. He\u2019s spent too much time on the ground already.\u201d Ben released Adam to his brother\u2019s care and watched the three of them cross the yard, Sport nickering after his master.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll be back,\u201d Ben promised, patting him on the neck. \u201cHe\u2019ll be back.\u201d<\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

3 WEEKS BEFORE<\/u><\/p>\n

\u201cThere was no gold.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo more . . . no more games, no guns . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cADAM!\u201d Ben watched his boy stop fidgeting in Hoss\u2019 arms at his curt shout and open his eyes — swollen bloodshot eyes that tried to focus on his face. Ben had used that tone often when they were children and it brought Adam back from wherever he\u2019d been with a piercing suddenness, emotion crashing in on him.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Pa . . .\u201d came the anguished cry followed by deep heaving sobs as wobbly knees buckled and he started for the ground, Ben holding on for dear life as Hoss and Joe settled him easily into their father\u2019s grasp.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was draggin\u2019 a dead man, Pa,\u201d Hoss reported as Joe pressed sweet water to his brother\u2019s dry and cracked lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s been through some kinda hell,\u201d Joe whispered when Ben pulled the canteen toward Adam, helping him to drink, his heart racing with relief. He\u2019d found his beloved son at last.<\/p>\n

But you gave up on him.<\/em><\/p>\n

That small voice festered in his head and, try as he might to brush it away, it kept finding its way back as the face of his eldest \u2013 sunburned and blistered, covered in dirt and grime \u2013 filled his vision, his wrenching sobs softening into low cries.<\/p>\n

What happened? Who is that man? Why did I give up so easily?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2019s here,\u201d Ben whispered enveloping Adam in a tight embrace, rocking him as he would a child.<\/p>\n

Those words drifted over Adam and, for a second, he relaxed, then, just as quickly, tensed up again when he realized he was obviously hallucinating. It had happened before these last few days and now . . . well, now wasn\u2019t any different. Yes, he could feel hot breath on his neck; could feel himself being held, but how could it possibly be his father? He was somewhere in the middle of the desert with no one but himself . . . and Kane . . . and that damned interminable sun!<\/p>\n

But . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

A shaky hand pulled itself heavily from the desert floor and reached up, moving until it finally contacted something solid \u2013 a leather vest. Son of a . . .<\/em> This was a real person \u2013 a living, breathing person! Kane hadn\u2019t worn a vest . . .<\/p>\n

Could it possibly . . .\u00a0 Do I dare believe. . ?<\/em><\/p>\n

Grabbing on took great effort but, in so doing, some of the fuzziness that penetrated his whole being cleared and he could make out a tender hand moving up and down his back, the touch reminding him of home and family and salvation. This couldn\u2019t be Kane. It was<\/u><\/em> him!<\/p>\n

Pa, you found me!<\/em><\/p>\n

Slowly he let the walls crumble, the walls he\u2019d built to survive, and gave whatever life he had left to this man who would protect him for as long as he took a breath.<\/p>\n

Thank God you didn\u2019t give up on me because I very nearly gave up on myself.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m so sorry, son, so sorry,\u201d Ben murmured, tears gathering behind tightly closed eyes hearing Adam\u2019s soft cries begin to quiet, his shaking to ease. \u201cYou\u2019re safe now. I\u2019m the light home. Follow me home.\u201d<\/p>\n

More comforting words died on his lips and his eyes flew open when he heard Adam\u2019s hand hit the ground then felt his body go lax in his grip.<\/p>\n

Please, God, don\u2019t let me find him only to lose him now!<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe started at Ben\u2019s sudden intake of breath and hastily lifted his brother\u2019s wrist. \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Pa,\u201d he said, Ben turning a frantic look toward his youngest. \u201cHe\u2019s just asleep.\u201d Asleep? <\/em>\u201cHe\u2019s exhausted. He just passed out.\u201d He\u2019s just asleep.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, what\u2019re we gonna do?\u201d Hoss asked getting no response. \u201cWe gotta get him in the shade and off the ground. It ain\u2019t good fer him to lie out here in the sun. Let\u2019s move him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss is speaking to you. Listen!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, yes . . . we should get home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe traded looks.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s too far, Pa,\u201d Hoss started. \u201cHe\u2019ll never sit a saddle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can\u2019t leave him here, Pa,\u201d Joe said running a hand down Adam\u2019s arm. \u201cWe should get a wagon, take him to the nearest town.\u201d<\/p>\n

They couldn\u2019t stay and they had no means to leave. His boy was at the end of his rope and Hoss was right – sitting in a saddle for three or four days wouldn\u2019t help. Easing Adam away from him, Ben studied his boys\u2019 sleeping face. \u201cI gave up on you,\u201d he confessed, his voice catching in his throat.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe all did, Pa,\u201d Joe admitted.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I never should\u2019ve done that,\u201d Ben continued appalled at himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was me that suggested it,\u201d Hoss stated.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd me, too,\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I agreed,\u201d Ben answered laying Adam gently on the ground and running a hand over his chest and arms. \u201cI\u2019m his father. I should\u2019ve looked until there was nowhere else to look . . . until I was in a grave myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you cain\u2019t take that on yerself.\u201d<\/p>\n

He turned an angry look toward Hoss. \u201cI brought him into this world and he\u2019s my responsibility, will always be my responsibility and I turned my back on him. A father shouldn\u2019t give up so easily.\u201d Turning away, he closed his eyes and sucked in an unsteady breath, angry with God for putting his son through hell. \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have given up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Silence filled the air between them, none knowing what to say, all feeling guilty over the brother they\u2019d dismissed. Ben ran a hand down Adam\u2019s sleeping face and sighed. \u201cAll right . . . we\u2019ll set up camp here until we can get a wagon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa . . ,\u201d Joe began as Hoss grabbed his arm, determination on his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet goin\u2019, Joe, into Salt Flats or Eastgate, whichever\u2019s closer. And see if they\u2019ve gotta Doctor!\u201d<\/p>\n

A fleeting question of why him and not Hoss flitted through Joe\u2019s mind but he pushed it aside and ran toward Sport, leaping aboard and galloping off toward the setting sun. Hoss watched him disappear from sight then turned his attention back to his father. He had to do something. \u201cLet me move him into the shade, Pa,\u201d he tried again, watching Ben absently straightened his brother\u2019s tattered shirt. \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmm?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe shade, Pa. Let\u2019s get him into the shade.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben pulled his eyes away to see Hoss\u2019 outstretched hands and balked. \u201cNo!\u201d came the harsh reply reaching to protect his vulnerable son. No one would take Adam from him again.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe gotta get him outta the sun, Pa. It ain\u2019t good fer him to lay here like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben blinked a few times then looked to his fallen boy, unable to let go. Fool! Let him help!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s safe now,\u201d Hoss explained, slowly slipping an arm under his brother\u2019s shoulder. \u201cHe\u2019s got family around him. I\u2019m just gonna take him up to them rocks and into the shade so\u2019s he can rest. You\u2019ll be right behind me.\u201d<\/p>\n

A single tear dropped onto Adam\u2019s dirty face as the realization that nothing could hurt his son now that they were there sifted into Ben\u2019s tired mind. Letting go, he watched Hoss pull Adam from the ground and walk slowly away, knowing this was just the beginning. They\u2019d yet to reach the safety of home, let alone a town, and there was still a chance they could lose him. This wasn\u2019t over, it wasn\u2019t even close, but at least they had him.<\/p>\n

It was then he saw Adam\u2019s arm fall limply from Hoss\u2019 grasp and sway in time with each step and the sight pulled a cry from him. Covering his mouth to keep the wretched sound to himself, he fought off the urge to collapse into a sobbing wreck and quickly retrieved the canteen from the ground, forcing himself up to head for the horses, taking deep breaths as he moved.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot on my watch. I\u2019ll not lose him on my watch.\u201d<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Darkness surrounded him, pulled at him, kept him from moving. An echoing laugh reached out as he dropped to the ground, hands to his ears, the sound rolling toward him, through him, and he had nowhere to go as Kane approached . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c. . . leave me . . . alone . . ,\u201d he mumbled, hands pulling at the covers, a fine sheen of sweat covering his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all right, Adam,\u201d Joe whispered leaning forward in his chair to grasp his brother\u2019s trembling hands.<\/p>\n

\u201c. . . go . . . away . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re home. You\u2019re safe,\u201d Joe countered anger rising in him at that man. \u201cHe won\u2019t hurt you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Safe. How long has it been since I\u2019ve been safe? How long since I\u2019ve been . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c . . . home . . .\u201d came out on a breath stilling his restless motions as the echoing laugh dissipated into the dark recesses of his mind.<\/p>\n

Releasing his brother\u2019s hand, Joe sat back and rubbed his eyes. Why did I stay in Eastgate for that stupid trial?<\/em><\/p>\n

The blisters and sunburn had faded leaving behind a paler version of the normally robust man he\u2019d known all his life. Now he was thin, thinner than when they\u2019d first found him \u2013 all his energies going into fighting off the ravages of sunstroke, dehydration and lack of food. But there was something else they couldn\u2019t see – they couldn\u2019t see into his mind to see what brought him to his knees. He\u2019d survived his time in the desert but not intact.<\/p>\n

If I\u2019d just gone with you.<\/em><\/p>\n

A groan drew Joe\u2019s attention back and he watched Adam turn his head, a single tear rolling across his nose.<\/p>\n

\u201cKane.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t I go with you?\u201d Joe asked, trying to stave off his own tears and failing. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t I see those men in the saloon? Please, God, tell me why?\u201d<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

3 WEEKS BEFORE<\/u><\/p>\n

The main street of Salt Flats streaked past Joe as he flew down the street, coming to a sliding stop at the livery. \u201cIs anyone here?\u201d he called urgently as he ran inside. \u201cAnyone?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHold yer horses, young fella,\u201d came a voice from the hayloft, Joe catching sight of an older man sitting up and rubbing his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI need . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a minute.\u201d Carefully easing himself down the ladder, the man wiped hay from his clothes then turned to Joe with a toothless smile. \u201cNow, how can I help ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA wagon and two horses. Rent or buy, doesn\u2019t matter.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man\u2019s brow flew up his forehead at the request and he eyed this new face up and down. \u201cDon\u2019t have much call in these parts fer a wagon \u2018ceptin\u2019 fer the cemetery,\u201d he began heading toward the rear of the livery and missing Joe\u2019s shudder. \u201cBut let\u2019s see what\u2019s stashed back here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Following closely behind, Joe wanted to urge the man on, wanted to grab his shirt and yell I\u2019ve a brother who might be dying!<\/em> but kept his mouth shut. It would be a waste of precious energy.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I got this ol\u2019 thing,\u201d the man finally said pulling a tarp off a rickety wagon, rotted wood making up most of it. Joe checked the bed, wheels and axle, noting it would get Adam out of the desert but not home.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll take it. What about a pair of horses?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly got one, I\u2019m afraid, and she\u2019s a bit old.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHaven\u2019t gotta choice, mister,\u201d Joe answered following the man to the corral and grimacing at the sight. She was<\/u><\/em> old and swaybacked. He checked her legs and patted her on the neck. \u201cI\u2019ll take her. Harness?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll ya want,\u201d he answered pointing to a room just behind Joe. Watching him disappear inside, the man wondered what this young fella was so all fired up about and rubbed his chin. \u201cHer name\u2019s Heloise by the way,\u201d he began leading the old horse toward the wagon. \u201cMind if\u2019n I ask yer hurry?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy brother\u2019s been injured,\u201d Joe explained reappearing with two sets of harness, wanting to tell the world of his grief but hurriedly refraining. No one needed to know. \u201cHave you gotta doctor around here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, there\u2019s Doc Betts, but he\u2019s a . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere would I find him?\u201d Joe asked carefully draping the harness over Heloise\u2019s back, laying the extra set in the wagon.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s dinner time. Ya might try the saloon.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe frowned then began hitching Heloise up to the wagon.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa know, Doc Betts is a . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow much do I owe you?\u201d Joe interrupted leading Sport toward the wagon and reaching into his pocket.<\/p>\n

The man just sighed. \u201cWell, let\u2019s see,\u201d he said, scratching his head. \u201cWagon, horse, harness . . . $6.00.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere\u2019s $20.00,\u201d Joe said handing the money to the surprised man. \u201cSaloon?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, up the street and to the right. The Delta Queen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMuch obliged.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man looked closely at the $20.00 then watched the young man sprint toward the saloon. He debated calling out to him about Doc Betts then pocketed the money, pulling Sport\u2019s saddle off and tossing it into the wagon.<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, well, he\u2019ll find out soon enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s he doin\u2019?\u201d Hoss asked of Joe as he came slowly down the stairs, not bothering to stifle a yawn.<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head and sighed. \u201cDreaming like always.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I ain\u2019t heard no yellin\u2019 and he\u2019s been up there about four hours. Maybe it\u2019s getting better,\u201d Hoss wished sitting in the blue velvet chair by the hearth, Adam\u2019s favorite. \u201cUsually he\u2019s got the whole house up by now.\u201d Joe nodded as he moved past him to sit on the arm of the settee, turning at Hoss\u2019 chuckle.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s so funny?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, we are<\/u><\/em> all up,\u201d Hoss answered, his smile quickly fading. \u201cWe are all up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said that man\u2019s name again,\u201d Joe said drawing his brother\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was a bad man, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. Adam needs to know that, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe tried to kill him, Joe,\u201d Hoss said with a sigh. \u201cI think he already knows that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd he had reason,\u201d Joe stated as if trying to justify what his brother did, or attempted to do. \u201cHe needs to talk about it, needs to remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you know Adam. He can out quiet a cougar on the prowl if\u2019n he wants too, then take yer head off just as quick. He\u2019ll ask when he\u2019s ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut how long, Hoss? How long until he comes home?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t rightly know, little brother,\u201d he answered looking down to the floor. \u201cI jest know we\u2019ll be here when he does.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf only . . .\u201d Joe let the sentence drop and Hoss looked up.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf only what?\u201d Hoss asked watching him fiddle with his pant leg and suck in a heavy breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf only I\u2019d gone with him, none of this would\u2019ve happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, Joe, ya don\u2019t know that. None of us do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I could\u2019ve helped or maybe the two of us could\u2019ve fought off those two men and he never woulda met Kane.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t stand to see him like this!\u201d Joe exclaimed, jumping off the settee and pacing in front of the low table. \u201cThis isn\u2019t Adam; he\u2019s still out in the desert with that bastard. Why did I tell Pa to stop looking? Why? So I\u2019d feel better?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI pushed harder than you, Joe,\u201d Hoss countered. \u201cDon\u2019t remind me that I gave up, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you did it because of me,\u201d came Ben\u2019s strong voice from the dining room, his hand gripping the back of a chair drawing both their attentions, both seeing a pain in their father\u2019s eyes that ran far deeper than their own.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe did it for all of us, Pa,\u201d Hoss added.<\/p>\n

Ben moved slowly toward the hearth, stuffing his hands in his front pockets. He was tired and unsettled and felt as cold and empty as the fireplace before him. Would this feeling ever pass? <\/em>\u201cAnd it was my decision to stop.\u201d That admission would always be in the back of his mind and if Adam didn\u2019t come through this, well, he just didn\u2019t know what would happen to any of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow could we do that, Pa?\u201d Joe asked staring at his father\u2019s back, sitting down on the low table. Ben just shrugged.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause we jest gave up,\u201d Hoss answered for all of them. \u201cWe gave up on the one man who\u2019d go ta the ends of the earth ta find any one of us. We all know it. Ain\u2019t no use thinkin\u2019 otherwise.\u201d None were able to deny his words. He rubbed his face. \u201cI do know one thing fer certain. I ain\u2019t a very good brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss\u2026\u201d Ben began.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s right,\u201d Joe added, drawing Ben\u2019s attention. \u201cI\u2019m just as responsible.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBlaming yourself won\u2019t help your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho better?\u201d Joe answered.<\/p>\n

Ben clenched his jaw and glared at the two. \u201cHow about those two men that started Adam on this journey?\u201d he began in an angry tone. \u201cOr Kane who kept him captive and drove him into the ground?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut don\u2019t ya see, Pa,\u201d Hoss began, \u201cthey\u2019re dead – they\u2019ve already been judged. Now it\u2019s our turn.\u201d<\/p>\n

Words failed him. There was<\/u><\/em> no one left to blame but the three of them. They would\u2019ve ridden back home, nursing a black hole in their hearts over the loss of a son and brother. Now they just nursed a web of guilt that wrapped itself about them and would never let go until they received Adam\u2019s absolution.<\/p>\n

When would that come?<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben pulled his hands from his pockets and straightened his shoulders. \u201cWe\u2019ll face His judgment as we always have \u2013 as a family. Adam will be back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s in a mighty bad place, Pa,\u201d Joe stated.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know your brother,\u201d Ben answered heading toward the stairs. \u201cHe never let\u2019s anyone tell him he can\u2019t do something.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis ain\u2019t like other times, Pa,\u201d Hoss stated.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe didn\u2019t even know we were there, Pa,\u201d Joe added. \u201cWe all held him, gave him water, carried him home and he didn\u2019t even know we were there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut he does now,\u201d Ben said sternly, grabbing the railing, trying to keep up this false bravado since underneath he was just as scared as his boys. \u201cHe heard me and came back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut he didn\u2019t stay,\u201d was all Joe said. \u201cYou see it every time you look in his eyes. He\u2019s always back there with Kane.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen we\u2019ll make him stay!\u201d Ben fumed. \u201cIf it\u2019s the last thing we do, we\u2019ll make him stay.\u201d Considering their sullen faces, he took a breath and forced an awkward smile onto his own. \u201cNow, why don\u2019t you two go get something to eat?\u201d He waited. Neither moved. \u201cHop Sing\u2019ll have your hide if you don\u2019t start eating again. He\u2019s claiming all the foods going to waste.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not hungry,\u201d Joe said running a hand through his hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell . . . eat something anyway!\u201d Ben ordered glaring at his youngest. Joe swallowed and stood.<\/p>\n

\u201cYessir,\u201d he answered. \u201cHoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to sit with Adam fer a spell,\u201d Hoss said, rising to his feet. \u201cI\u2019ll eat later.\u201d Silently moving past his father and up the stairs, Ben watched until he disappeared through Adam\u2019s door. He turned when Joe sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWill this ever be over, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, son,\u201d Ben answered, heading up the stairs, almost believing it himself. \u201cYes it will.\u201d<\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

3 WEEKS BEFORE<\/u><\/p>\n

Hoss patted Chubb on the neck and looked out into the desert, the large moon blanketing the area in light. He\u2019d never much liked the desert \u2013 in the day or night \u2013 finding it inhospitable and dangerous. And the beauty others saw failed to inspire him with any thoughts other than to get back home quick. And this was the land that almost took his brother, could still take him if they weren\u2019t careful, and he cursed it.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf\u2019n I never lay eyes on another speck of sand, I\u2019ll be a happy man,\u201d he muttered, pulling off a boot to empty said sand when an odd sound captured his attention and he turned, seeing his older brother lying in a heap at the bottom of their campsite.<\/p>\n

Quickly pulling on the boot, Hoss hurried his steps along, watching as Adam righted himself then scurried frantically backwards once sighting the corpse not a foot from him, the moon glinting off the rifle that fell from his hands.<\/p>\n

A rifle?<\/em> Oh, lordy!<\/em><\/p>\n

They\u2019d settled Adam in a niche of rocks a few feet from the ground, large enough for the three of them. Saddle blankets and bedrolls were put into service as sunshades and a pillow, while Ben parked himself at his side carefully wiping dirt and sweat from his face, wincing at the rope burns and bruises on his wrists and arms, and wondered how any of this could\u2019ve happened. That was a number of hours ago.<\/p>\n

Now his brother was armed and on the ground with a wild look in his eyes, and Ben was nowhere in sight. Taking a deep breath, Hoss forced himself to slow down and slapped a smile on his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, what\u2019cha doin\u2019 down here, big brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s head snapped up and a mad scramble followed for the dropped rifle, aiming it toward the figure in front of him. Hoss\u2019 smile disappeared and he slowly raised his hands. \u201cHey, Adam, it\u2019s me. It\u2019s Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

That voice, that voice sounded like him . . . he wanted it to be him . . . but he couldn\u2019t give in!<\/p>\n

What if this is a trick?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cKeep away from me!\u201d Adam barked, trembling hands attempting to keep the rifle steady.<\/p>\n

Hoss swallowed. \u201cAdam, listen ta my voice,\u201d he tried. \u201cIt\u2019s Hoss. The one ya carted clear across country. The one ya taught how to shoot and how to ride. Hoss. We come fer ya, Adam, come ta take ya home. Pa\u2019s here and so\u2019s Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss . . . his brother – the boy he\u2019d held when Inger was killed; the one who brought home every injured animal he could find including a bear cub; the one who stood between he and Joe in their interminable fights. He looked again. The gap-toothed grin, the virtual size of the man . . . no one could replicate that.<\/p>\n

Could they?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cH . . . Hoss?\u201d he ventured a flicker of recognition lighting his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cNone other,\u201d Hoss answered, forcing a smile to cover the worry that filled him. As he lowered his hands, he noticed Adam didn\u2019t lower the rifle.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow . . . how can you be here?\u201d asked Adam continuing to stare, wanting to hold onto this picture in front of him if for nothing else but a moments respite from the hell he\u2019d come to know.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe come lookin\u2019 fer ya. Joe wired us and we came.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam narrowed his eyes, a memory rearing up. \u201cJoe . . .\u00a0 I was supposed to meet . . . Signal Rock?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSignal Rock,\u201d he repeated with a slight nod.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen ya didn\u2019t show he went lookin\u2019 and found Sport. That\u2019s when he knew somethin\u2019 was wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSport?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep.\u201d Hoss noticed the rifle lowering ever so slightly. \u201cCochise hurt hisself and when Joe stopped at a livery, there he was plain as day. Blacksmith said two men sold him outright. Joe followed them men to Salt Flats but they was dead by the time he got there. That\u2019s when we got his telegram saying ya might be . . . well . . . ya might be dead, too. We been lookin\u2019 for almost two weeks and . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStop,\u201d came the hissed warning making Hoss\u2019 smile fold, seeing Adam begin to shudder. He couldn\u2019t allow himself to trust anything he heard or saw for the sun, and Kane, had burned out of him the ability to discern between real and imagined.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t . . ,\u201d Adam began. \u201cYou can\u2019t be here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam . . .\u201d Hoss said, taking a step toward his confused brother when the rifle lifted back on target.<\/p>\n

\u201cStay away from me!\u201d Adam yelled. \u201cStay away!\u201d An edge of panic laced his words, the earlier recognition gone. \u201cYou can\u2019t be here. I won\u2019t play these games anymore, Kane!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stayed still. He\u2019d never seen Adam like this, never felt fear rising from him like he did now. It shocked him. The situation was becoming more dangerous as each moment passed. His hands came back up. \u201cCareful now, Adam. Ya don\u2019t wanna be pointin\u2019 that about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t be . . . you can\u2019t know my brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am<\/u><\/em> your brother,\u201d Hoss answered, involuntarily stepping forward.<\/p>\n

\u201cStay back!\u201d His voice cracked and Hoss found himself sweating.<\/p>\n

Where is<\/u> Pa?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, all right. I\u2019ll stay right here. Ain\u2019t comin\u2019 any closer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam squinted. Everything was coming at him too fast. Was that really his father who\u2019d held him before? Was this his brother before him? Or was it all another game? He shook his head unsure of anything except that Kane was hovering nearby, just out of sight, creeping in the dark to grab him and shove him back into that damned mine!<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about we sit right down and talk a spell then,\u201d Hoss said lowering his hands as he began to squat thinking that a reasonable request would cut through his brother\u2019s confusion. He watched as a grim set overtook Adam\u2019s features and realized his error.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m done talking.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss jumped to his feet, the fear that so radiated from his brother now mixed with resolve, and he knew he was in trouble. \u201cNow, Adam,\u201d he began raising his hands again, \u201cI\u2019ll leave ya alone. Ain\u2019t no need to shoot me.\u201d He watched his brother stagger back a step and force a hand over one ear, flinching as if in pain. \u201cAdam . . ?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStay out of my head!\u201d he yelled, hate boiling in him, unable to shut off that wretched voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStay out of my head!\u201d He pulled his hand back to steady the rifle and glared at Hoss. \u201cI\u2019m done talking, Kane! Done talking! No gold, no games, NO MORE!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss dropped flat to the ground as the rifle came to life, the bullet sailing over his head to bounce harmlessly about the rocks behind. Looking up at the sound of a scuffle, he saw his father\u2019s arms wrapped tightly about his brother, the two struggling for control.<\/p>\n

\u201cLET ME GO!\u201d Adam yelled.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon! It\u2019s your Pa!\u201d Ben yelled back as they thrashed about.<\/p>\n

Adam fought with everything he had knowing deep down it wasn\u2019t enough, but he kept on until he stumbled and landed hard, his assailant falling on top of him, effectively pinning him to the ground. Still holding the rifle, he yanked it upward and contacted skin hearing a satisfying yelp. The weight rolled off him and he quickly dragged himself forward, desperate to get away.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Hoss yelled, standing on the opposite side of the travois forcing him to look up and aim the rifle; forcing him to see what lay between them. His urgent movements stopped as his eyes devoured the ravaged face of that man.<\/p>\n

Kane!<\/em><\/p>\n

Dropping the rifle, hands moved rapidly to his face to shut out the sight of those bruises decorating Kane\u2019s neck.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs he . . . is he dead?\u201d Adam asked in a tremulous voice as Ben came up behind him to grasp his shoulders, nursing a split lip.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Ben answered, feeling Adam cringe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . I killed him.\u201d The statement fell on them like a heavy blanket. Adam balled his hands into fists. \u201cHe wanted me to kill him and I did. My God . . . I did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe desert killed him,\u201d Ben added, \u201cnot you . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThose are my handprints on his neck!\u201d he exclaimed pounding a fist to the ground as Ben sucked in a breath. \u201cI wrapped my hands about his neck and I . . . killed him,\u201d he said mimicking what he\u2019d done, \u201cjust to be rid of him. He hid the food, the water then used what was left to make me kill him and I did. I . . . my hands,\u201d he said opening his eyes to stare at the offending items, disbelief on his face. \u201cI killed him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSon . . .\u201d Ben began.<\/p>\n

\u201cI never thought . . .\u201d Adam began, dropping his head to his arms. \u201cI never knew I could\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Hoss began, kneeling before him to block the sight of Kane. \u201cAdam, listen to me. If\u2019n he was dead, why was ya draggin\u2019 him out with ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I was better . . .\u201d he continued, not hearing his brother\u2019s question.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Hoss tried again, louder this time. \u201cIf\u2019n ya killed him, why didn\u2019t ya just leave him behind? Think about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss,\u201d Ben warned but was ignored.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, boy. Use that brain yer always tellin\u2019 us is worth somethin\u2019. There ain\u2019t no use draggin\u2019 a dead man outta the desert. He musta been alive when ya put him on that travois.\u201d Adam\u2019s heavy breaths tapered off and he slowly raised his head, Hoss seeing a memory in those haunted eyes. \u201cHe was<\/u><\/em> alive wasn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n

I did whack the rifle against the rock and broke it in two\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy else would ya waste the time\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

I grabbed the food and water and ran\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cto get him help?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe spoke to me,\u201d came a small voice, Hoss craning to hear.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe spoke ta ya? Then he weren\u2019t dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked at Hoss making him flinch at the naked anguish present there. \u201cI was going to leave him behind,\u201d he admitted.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it, boy. What else?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe . . . he accused me of leaving him just as those men left me,\u201d he continued, his face darkening at the memory, looking away from his brother. \u201cAnd he was right. I would\u2019ve left him without a second thought.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut ya didn\u2019t,\u201d Hoss continued as Adam shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t win that way,\u201d he slowly answered, the effort of remembering taking its toll.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do ya mean win?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

Adam turned red-rimmed eyes back to his brother. \u201cI had to prove to him I was better; had to prove to Joe…\u201d He paused and shook his head. \u201cJust talk. I\u2019m not any better\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Adam,\u201d Ben interrupted, \u201cyou\u2019re a good man. No one can take that from you no matter what you\u2019ve done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI tried to kill him.\u201d Just saying it made him ill.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you tried to save him,\u201d Ben finished for him. \u201cSomething stayed your hand. It doesn\u2019t matter what but that you did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe wouldn\u2019t shut up. He kept after me and wouldn\u2019t let me leave . . .\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t take it anymore and I broke . . .\u00a0 My hands . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c. . . didn\u2019t kill him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam glanced up at his father. \u201cHow . . . how do you know?\u201d came the question in an uncertain voice.<\/p>\n

Hoss had rarely, if ever, heard that tone coming from this brother but it reminded Ben of Adam at his youngest trying to figure out how from something bad could come good.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I know you,\u201d Ben reminded him.<\/p>\n

Adam held up his hands. \u201cYou don\u2019t know what I became. My hands . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c. . . stopped before the deed was done,\u201d Ben answered pushing those blistered hands down.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf all the people I know,\u201d Hoss added, \u201cya could never kill someone that way lessen there was no other choice. And I tell ya this, I\u2019d of finished him off if\u2019n it was me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted too,\u201d he answered, sadness and disgust filling him. \u201cGod, I wanted too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t matter now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I became an . . . animal,\u201d he admitted, shame written on his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cThan I am, too, brother,\u201d Hoss answered. \u201cIf\u2019n the desert hadn\u2019t done us a favor by killin\u2019 that bastard I\u2019d a done it for ya. It just so happens that ol\u2019 Mother Nature saved us both the trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

Did they really understand? Did he<\/u> really understand all that had happened?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re safe now, son,\u201d Ben said drawing Adam\u2019s attention back to him, to the face he\u2019d prayed to see all those days, to the voice he\u2019d tried to respond too but had been kept from it.<\/p>\n

\u201cSafe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded, smiling down at him. \u201cHe can\u2019t hurt you anymore. No one will hurt you anymore not while we\u2019re here.\u201d Those words wrapped around his head and he reached out, feeling his withering control leave him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa . . . help me,\u201d he cried.<\/p>\n

Ben grasped his hand and gathered him into his arms as Adam buried his face in his father\u2019s shirt, seizing whatever he could hold.<\/p>\n

If I don\u2019t let go, he\u2019ll save me!<\/em><\/p>\n

Hoss’ own tears fell at the desperate cries coming from his brother. Adam, the strongest in the family, was collapsing right in front of him and there was nothing he could do but watch. Anger filled him. \u201cPa, let me take him from that man,\u201d he said, pushing himself to his feet. \u201cHe shouldn\u2019t have to look upon that devil ever again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Resting his chin on Adam\u2019s head, Ben rocked him, those wrenching sobs continuing to eat at him. His boy was broken and he didn\u2019t know if all the love in the world could put him back together. Casting an angry glance toward the body, he secretly wished he\u2019d been the one who\u2019d delivered the fatal blow. Ben nodded and Hoss reached out only to find Adam\u2019s iron grasp unwilling to let go.<\/p>\n

If I let go, he\u2019ll disappear.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cLeave him be then.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded and stepped back to silently turn from the scene, his gaze falling on Kane. Marshaling his anger, he grabbed the travois and dragged it further into the night, struggling with thoughts of murder. Hopefully an animal would take this bastard, then none of them would have to think on him again. As he moved, a distant sound caught his attention and he strained to hear, the jingle of harness drifting toward him. Dropping Kane unceremoniously to the ground, he hurried toward the sound.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about time!\u201d Hoss shouted into the night as Joe pulled Heloise and Sport to a stop a few feet from him. \u201cWhere ya been?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSalt Flats,\u201d Joe answered jumping to the ground, ignoring Hoss\u2019 tone. \u201cI gotta tarp to make a cover for the wagon. Got some food and blankets and plenty of water.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid ya find a doctor?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d he began, spying Adam in his father\u2019s arms, tormented cries coming from him. Joe turned a questioning glance toward Hoss before continuing. \u201cHe, ah, he was an animal doctor,\u201d he explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnimal doctor?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. The real doc was outta town. But he said animals are hardly different then people when it comes to this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Glancing again at his big brother, Joe fidgeted with the reins. Normally he<\/u><\/em> was the one demanding comfort and looking for guidance. It was never Adam.<\/p>\n

Hoss placed a hand on his shoulder drawing his attention back to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, ah,\u201d Joe continued clearing his throat, \u201cwe need to keep him cool and make sure he drinks plenty of water, and keep him outta the sun as much as possible. Doc said he might be delirious and get hot and cold and he could throw up a lot once the water starts getting into his system so we have to be careful how much we give him. He also said he\u2019d sleep plenty.\u201d The words tumbled out as he kept his eyes on Adam. \u201cI vote for staying in Salt Flats for a few days until we know what\u2019s happening with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe should get him home,\u201d Ben stated as the boys started grabbing items out of the wagon.<\/p>\n

Joe turned back. \u201cPa, I really think we should stay near a town.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s right, Pa,\u201d Hoss added. \u201cAdam shouldn\u2019t havta sleep on the hard ground or in a rickety ol\u2019 wagon. He deserves a bed for a few days at least.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked at them both, their love and concern written on their faces. They could all use some time in a bed. He nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d Joe smiled. \u201cI already wired Hop Sing to bring another wagon \u2018cause this one\u2019s about to collapse. I\u2019ll ride out in a couple of days to meet him. This old gal won\u2019t make it home either, Pa.\u201d Patting Heloise on the rump, he continued to pull items from the wagon. \u201cI also wired Paul. He might know something else we can do for Adam. Oh, and I brought a shovel to bury that man.\u201d Joe\u2019s smile slipped from his face as a scowling Hoss wrested the shovel from his hands. \u201cHey!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s the one, Joe. He\u2019s the one that done this to Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam told us. that\u2019s how,\u201d Hoss angrily informed him. \u201cThat man don\u2019t deserve nothin\u2019 but what the vultures\u2019ll bring,\u201d Hoss spat out tossing the shovel to the ground.<\/p>\n

Surprised, Joe glanced at Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, we really should take the body into town,\u201d Ben began. \u201cMaybe someone knows him there . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe ain\u2019t ridin\u2019 with Adam,\u201d Hoss argued.<\/p>\n

\u201cNormally I\u2019d agree, but . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere ain\u2019t no buts about it, Pa. I won\u2019t allow that man near him again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben saw the indignant look and knew Hoss meant every word.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we can\u2019t just leave . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t have it, Joe,\u201d Hoss said holding his younger brother\u2019s gaze. \u201cI cain\u2019t do nothin\u2019 to change what\u2019s happened but I ain\u2019t gonna make Adam look at him again. That man belongs to whatever takes him this night. Now let\u2019s get ready and get older brother here into a soft bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Without waiting for an answer, Hoss continued empting the wagon, Joe glancing once more at Ben who looked away, continuing to rock his stricken boy.<\/p>\n

After thirty minutes, they were ready – Sport and Buck hitched up and Heloise tied to the back, blankets making a soft bed on the hard wood. Getting Adam to let go took some doing but finally Hoss managed, easily lifting his brother into the wagon, pulling a blanket up to his chin to stave off the evening chill when Joe tapped Hoss on the leg and pointed, both watching Ben make his way toward Kane.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t know why he was making this walk, why he felt the need to say anything to this man who\u2019d nearly taken his son from him, but he kept on going, each step infuriating him further until he stood silently over the body barely controlling himself. The muscles in his jaw tensed as he looked down.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know who you are nor do I care too. All I care about is my son and what you\u2019ve done to him.\u201d This man had interfered in their lives and he could feel it in his gut that his memory would linger for sometime. A fleeting look about the area fixated him on some loose rocks near his feet – each would make a fine instrument to bash in Kane\u2019s skull.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll scare Hoss and Joe . . . and yourself.<\/em><\/p>\n

He shrugged the thought away.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know your reasons for hurting him nor do I believe I would understand them if you voiced them, but you should consider yourself lucky you\u2019re already dead or I\u2019d kill you myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d came Joe\u2019s voice. \u201cAdam\u2019s calling.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben took a step back then stopped for one last glimpse. \u201cMay hell be your prison you bastard!\u201d Hurrying to the wagon and climbing in, he grabbed Adam\u2019s searching hand. \u201cPa\u2019s here, son. You\u2019re safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go,\u201d Hoss tossed out. Joe clicked to the horses and slowly the sad group left their makeshift camp behind along with the man responsible. Each knew that what went with them would be hard to get rid of \u2013 but they would try until there was nothing left. It was the least, and the most, they could do.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Hop Sing stood open-mouthed in the doorway holding a tray of coffee cups, taking in the alarming scene before him:\u00a0 Ben lay flat on the floor with Adam\u2019s hands wrapped snuggly about his neck.<\/p>\n

\u201cGET OUT OF MY HEAD, KANE! STAY OUT!\u201d he screamed in a voice Hop Sing could only equate with an angry, frightened boy. \u201cSTAY AWAY!\u201d<\/p>\n

The echo of Kane\u2019s name had filled the house each night since they\u2019d brought Adam home and each time they were left with questions as to how long this brother, this son would be able to endure. But this night was different. This night would remain with them much longer.<\/p>\n

Recovering quickly, Hop Sing dropped the tray and rushed into the room. \u201cMister Adam! Let go!\u201d he yelled, attempting to break the grip, only to be roughly pushed aside by Hoss who\u2019d bolted into the room after him, grabbing hold of Adam\u2019s hands as his father\u2019s face turned red.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d Joe called sliding in under him when Adam\u2019s fingers suddenly let go and Ben fell back into Joe\u2019s arms gasping for breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cLeave me alone, Kane!\u201d Adam yelled as he struggled in Hoss\u2019 grip. \u201cLeave me alone!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben shrugged off Joe\u2019s supportive arms and rushed forward to grab his boy\u2019s face in his hands. \u201cAdam. Adam, it\u2019s your Pa,\u201d came a gravely voice. \u201cKane is gone. You\u2019re home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo more!\u201d he yelled, finding it hard to catch his breath, as he slammed shut his eyes to block out the sight of Kane leaning over him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s gone, Adam,\u201d Ben continued trying to break through this terrible nightmare. \u201cDead and gone. You\u2019re home. You\u2019re safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

That voice, that comforting familiar voice seeped into his ears, but he couldn\u2019t give in. Death awaited those who gave in. \u201cNever safe!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t lie to you, son. He\u2019s not here. Now open your eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t make me,\u201d he groaned, moving his head from side to side. \u201cNot again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMake you what?\u201d Ben pleaded. \u201cAdam!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t make me . . . kill you again,\u201d he confessed, anguish filling his voice. Hop Sing blanched and Joe put a hand to his mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t let that happen,\u201d Ben promised swallowing around the lump in his throat. \u201cI\u2019m here, son. Pa\u2019ll protect you,\u201d he answered, thinking back to earlier that evening when he\u2019d deliberately forced his son to sleep \u2013 forced him to face these night terrors alone. \u201cDon\u2019t be afraid. Kane\u2019s gone. Dead and gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

A few moments passed then a smile touched Ben\u2019s trembling lips as those hazel eyes slowly crept open, able to focus on his face, clear as a new morning. Adam blinked, once, twice, staring up at his father and Joe behind him, slowly realizing Hoss held his arms in a tight grip on the floor of his own room.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat . . . what\u2019s going on?\u201d came the confused question as Joe\u2019s cries met his ears and Ben . . . Ben\u2019s neck was all red. A horrible thought came to him and his eyes grew large. \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing,\u201d Ben quickly stated, too quickly. \u201cYou had a nightmare, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour neck . . .\u00a0 Did I . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Adam,\u201d Ben said trying to reassure him, seeing disgust written on his son\u2019s face as the truth hit him.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, God,\u201d he moaned closing his eyes again to shut out this new sight before him. He\u2019d done it again only this time he\u2019d attacked his own father.<\/p>\n

When would it all end?!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMake him go away, Pa,\u201d he cried, Hoss easing his grip on his brother\u2019s limp form. \u201cMake him leave me alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll make him go away,\u201d Ben softly said in a trembling voice, taking Adam from an anguished Hoss and clutching him to his chest, feeling Joe\u2019s desperation at his back and hearing Hop Sing as he wept. God, please help my son! <\/em>\u201cPa\u2019ll make him go away.\u201d<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

3 WEEKS BEFORE<\/u><\/p>\n

Holding a wet compress to Adam\u2019s forehead, Ben looked out into the night. The desert was so beautiful and deceiving. In the dark the air was cold and could freeze you in a matter of hours. In the light the sun bore down to leech everything of worth from your bones. His boy had toiled under that unforgiving sun for over twelve days and he\u2019d come out broken and nearly dead. He\u2019d never look upon the desert the same.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d came his weak voice, bringing Ben\u2019s attention swiftly back to the present.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here, son,\u201d he answered, leaning over to shower him with a smile, the moon sparkling off Adam\u2019s half closed eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you . . . really?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s smile grew as he moved that stubborn lock of hair from its flopping place on his boy\u2019s forehead and thanked God for giving that little pleasure back to him. \u201cYes, son, I\u2019m here. Your brothers, too.\u201d Adam remained silent for a spell and Ben thought he\u2019d drifted back to sleep but was brought back by a soft reply.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t . . . let . . . go.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s heart wrenched at the anguish behind those words and he wrapped both hands about Adam\u2019s. \u201cNever,\u201d he promised his voice catching as he watched Adam\u2019s eyes slide shut. \u201cI\u2019m the light home, son. Follow me home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c. . . home . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben sat back then, emotion filling him, his mind traveling back to a time on a wagon train when a five-year-old Adam, raging with fever, thought his mother was near. He\u2019d prayed to Elizabeth then and did so now to see their son through this dark time, to repair what that man had done to him in both body and mind.<\/p>\n

No one would have a hold on his son.<\/p>\n

Not in life or death.<\/p>\n

This he vowed.<\/p>\n

*****End*****<\/p>\n

*The Crucible, written by John T. Dugan. The situation and a part of Mr. Dugan\u2019s dialogue are used within this fictional piece.<\/em><\/p>\n

Next in the What the Vultures Will Bring Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Light Home<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 What Happened Next – The Crucible *<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (9,985 words)<\/p>\n

What the Vultures Will Bring Series, links to all the stories within the series included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":125,"featured_media":5984,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,13],"tags":[14,15,17,16],"class_list":["post-12677","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-whn","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-ben","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-13-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2483,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Crucible286.jpg?fit=640%2C477&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":11890,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=11890","url_meta":{"origin":12677,"position":0},"title":"To Keep the Vultures at Bay (by Helen A)","author":"HelenA","date":"May 14, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 What the boys go through To Keep the Vultures at Bay. Rating:\u00a0 K\u00a0 (1,475 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Brothers"","block_context":{"text":"Brothers","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1009"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/vultures.jpg?fit=251%2C201&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12678,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12678","url_meta":{"origin":12677,"position":1},"title":"The Light Home (by Calim11)","author":"Calim11","date":"February 14, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 WHN - The Crucible - Part two of my series. Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (22, 225 words) What the Vultures Will Bring Series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/BONANZA-MARVIN-2-.jpg?fit=599%2C324&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/BONANZA-MARVIN-2-.jpg?fit=599%2C324&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/BONANZA-MARVIN-2-.jpg?fit=599%2C324&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":60683,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=60683","url_meta":{"origin":12677,"position":2},"title":"Hooked on a Feeling (by Annie K Cowgirl)","author":"Annie K Cowgirl","date":"November 21, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: One minute he was standing there and the next, he was sprawled face down in the dirt....Booth Shannon's thoughts after the shootout between him and Little Joe. The Trap. Rating: T (for mentions of blood) Word Count: 834 The kid\u2019s fast, I grudgingly admitted to myself; his hand was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Joe Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Joe Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1007"},"img":{"alt_text":"Capture by Heike","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/The-Trap.jpg?fit=500%2C375&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":56384,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=56384","url_meta":{"origin":12677,"position":3},"title":"Stuck (by bonanzagirl)","author":"bonanzagirl","date":"March 1, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Joe is once again in a tight spot Rating: PG Word count: 6500","rel":"","context":"In "Hurt\/Comfort"","block_context":{"text":"Hurt\/Comfort","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=41"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/thegift-1.png?fit=702%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/thegift-1.png?fit=702%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/thegift-1.png?fit=702%2C576&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/thegift-1.png?fit=702%2C576&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12136,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12136","url_meta":{"origin":12677,"position":4},"title":"The Rebirth of Joe Cartwright (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"August 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this story should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/feature-2.jpg?fit=338%2C338&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5454,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5454","url_meta":{"origin":12677,"position":5},"title":"Autumn’s Surprise (by deansgirl)","author":"deansgirl","date":"October 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Autumn is setting around the Ponderosa and with it comes a very dear and long awaited surprise.\u00a0 \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (1,180 words) Autumn Series, links to all the stories within the series are included.","rel":"","context":"In "Chaps and Spurs"","block_context":{"text":"Chaps and Spurs","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=39"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12677","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/125"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12677"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12677\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5984"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12677"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12677"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12677"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}